#unidentified dissociative disorder | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lexaprozac · 5 years ago

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Dissociation (long post ahead)

So, I don’t think you guys remember, but back at the beggining of 2014 I talked about how I was starting to experience some strange things in my body, how I felt different entities took control of my it. At first they were unidentified entities that mainly hurt me when I was at my work’s restroom, but later they started to take form of people, like alters, there was a woman, a man, a couple of little kids, some genderless entities,some were animals. Some of them were nice, some were violent. But I didn’t have amnesia, I was conscious all the time. But it was very distressful. I went to see my psychiatrist at that time and he said it was an “identity difusion”, but it had nothing to do with that. I talked about this issue at a mental health forum, back then my diagnosis had changed from BPD to bipolar 2 and I was on a very low dosage of antipsychotics (unlike now). There they told me to check the dissociation forum. I had no idea about dissociation but things started to make sense. I had alters. Could it be DID? But I had no amnesia. Then there was this diagnosis of DDNOS (now called OSDD) when you had alters without amnesia, and it fit, I know in order to develop a dissociative disorder you have to had endured severe trauma as a child, but I didn’t, although I was bullied in my childhood and I was molested by a family member (I won’t say who) and by a doctor and later in life I had an extremelly traumatic abusive relationship. But I thought I was resilient and I didn’t have collateral damage. (later I realized I was wrong). Back then (still 2014) I took under advice of this forum, a test from The Pottergate Centre for Trauma and Dissociation (they sent me a test to my mail and I sent it back) and the results were that I was likely to have a dissociative disorder.

I started seeing a therapist, but she thought these alters were more of a psychotic nature, but still we worked on them. I later switched to another cheaper therapist but he had no expertice on anything and he made more harm than good, but that’s another story.

I also saw my psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with “hysteria”, a term not used since the 1980´s, but it was close to a conversion disorder. I guess he didn’t know much about dissociation either.

These “alters” were with me for many months, they appeared mostly when I was in a crowd or alone, they wrote messages on my cellphone, I talked to them in the mirror or on the phone, I did things they wanted me to do, like buying stuff or going to concerts, and they sort of made me feel alive. I became fond of the nice ones, although the evil ones still hurt me (TW back then I self harmed a lot).

My antipsychotics were increased, but not enough to make them sleep, until one day I started to hallucinate and my psychiatrist prescribed haldol and then all of a sudden they were gone. They haven’t appeared since 2014, however, I often feel possessed and like I’m not in control of my body, I move against my will.

By the end of 2014 I became suicidal and was hospitalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia (I was told these alters were hallucinations) but I think this is because at the hospital they didn’t believe in dissociative disorders. Later I did have psychotic and mood symptoms and was diagnosed as schizoaffective, which I do believe I have, but the possessions haven’t stopped after all these years.

So, what’s my point? I want to be reassessed with my current psychiatrist for a dissociative disorder, I was supposed to see her this Wedenesday but with the COVID-19 all the appointments at my hospital were cancelled until further notice and there they don’t do online appointments. Because even though I haven’t had delusions or psychosis in nearly two years, just last week and with the stress of this coronavirus I was possessed again many times during the day.

Thanks for reading!

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arco-pluris · 6 years ago

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Is there a specific gender for not knowing what your gender is at the time? I'm polygender but much of the time it feels "undefined" I guess..or too vague to ever tell maybe? Not sure gendervague doesn't equite fit as I don't have an idea of what the gender is at all. So it's more than vague I guess

Well I listed a lot. It took a too long post (69 genders).

Admasgender: A gender that refuses to be categorized and that is rooted in an indomitable, indefinable essence.

Anvisgender, Apagender, or Inersgender: Used to describe those who are too lazy/apathetic to care about their gender.

Anongender: A gender that is unknown to both yourself and others.

Apsconsugender: A gender identity that is a process of elimination. What it is–is unknown, but the person is able to define what it isn’t. A gender where you know what it isn’t, but not what it is. like the gender is hiding itself from you.

Angegender: A gender where you can’t describe it with any word but hatred or anger.

Antegender: A protean gender which has the potential to be anything, but is formless and motionless, and, therefore, does not manifest as any particular gender.

Abditusgender or Sectiogender: When you have a general idea of what your gender is but feel that it’s still hiding important factors from you, or that it’s slowly revealing itself to you but continues to keep some of itself hidden and you don’t know how to bring it about.

Arigender/Ariesgender: A complicated gender identity that you cannot explain or is very hard to explain. A gender that does not fit under any labels. An unfathomable gender. Based on the zodiac sign Aries.

Autogender: A gender experience that feels deeply personal to oneself but it too difficult to accurately describe with any other gender terms.

Cheshiric: A term used when your gender is confusing and can easily go invisible and appear out of nowhere. One can also say their gender is like a sort of vague riddle.

Cassgender: A gender identity where one feels that their gender is unimportant or is indifferent to the idea of gender.

Cryptogender or Gendercryptic: A gender one cannot discern, describe or define in human words because one is puzzled by it. It feels like it is and it isn’t there without following any particular pattern, sometimes even at the same time.

Concedogender: ‘When you cannot be defined as questioning because you no longer question, but you never reached a particular identity. You conceded and said “I’m okay with not finding out”.’

Circgender: A gender that feels so magical and grand you can’t describe it. Named after Circe, goddess of magic.

Collgender: A polygender identity where one experiences too many genders to be able to describe them all.

Cengender/Resgender: A gender that can be summed up as an unidentifiable, nondescript thing but manifests in hundreds of different genders that could be recognized and function as “girl” and /or ”boy” but is entirely dependent on the context.

Cosmicgender: A gender so vast and complex that you are only able to process a small bit of it at a time. Like viewing the night sky through a telescope, you cannot hope to see all of it at once, however, you may gain more knowledge about parts of it the longer you focus on one part. May contain any number of sub genders within it that may present themselves to you. It is infinite in its possibility. Name from the vast reaches of space filled with things we cannot begin to imagine.

Diagender: A single gender identity that exists, but not entirely on the gender spectrum and is difficult to locate or describe. (You should also know there is another, completely different gender identity that is also called diagender).

Echogender: When you have trouble understanding/experiencing gender so you attempt to understand your gender by mimicking the genders of those you are closest to/most often around.

Ectogender: A gender identity that is elusive, constantly out of one’s grasp, and/or hard to pin down.

Errgender: ‘A stray gender, one you can’t quite get a hold of (err- stray).‘

Foggender: A gender which is close to a certain gender, but cannot be directly pinpointed due to brainfog (a lack of concentration or wakefulness associated with ADHD, fibromyalgia, depression, etc.)

Gyragender/Gyaragender/Gendervex: When you have multiple genders but don’t understand any of them. Can be combined with relevant genders if you’re able to figure out some part of it. (Ex: if you’re gyragirl, you don’t understand your genders, but you know they have feminine qualities).

Genderstrange: ‘When you can’t pinpoint one word for your gender, but multiple terms almost fit.‘

Gendervoid or Voidgender: A gender identity defined by absence, a blank space or void where a gender might otherwise be. Sometimes synonymous with agender.

Genderweird: ‘A term used to describe those whose gender cannot be described by any existing label, or cannot be pinned down as such.’

Genderblank: ‘A sensation that one’s gender is indescribable, that there are no words to explain it.’

Gossagender: ‘A gender identity that is so weak it feels fragile or barely there.‘

Graygender: ‘Describes a person who is ambivalent about their gender identity/expression, but who identifies at least partially with a gender (defined or not) outside of the binary. They may experience a weak sense of gender, or have difficulty defining their gender, or just not be overly involved in gender as a concept.’

Gendereaux: ‘A feeling of being detached from the concept of gender, but simultaneously identifying with or encompassing many nonbinary experiences or identities.’

Genderhollow/genderempty: “a gender that is present, but is empty or hollow”.

Gender-free: Which does not define people in the basis of gender; in which gender is not present, or is insignificant or irrelevant to people’s lives and choices.

Gender+/Genderplus: A gender which fits many gender descriptors, but is actually just one complex and big gender. Since so many gender descriptors describe the gender, you pick the one you think represents it the best (or just an arbitrary one of your choice) and add “+” to show that it is described as that gender plus others.

Scorpigender: ‘A gender that is a mystery, and very difficult to understand. Lots of labels vaguely fit it, but almost none can fully describe it.’

Pendogender: Never being satisfied with your gender no matter how well it fits due to self-doubt, causing one to compulsively search and seek out something that fits even better. Gender perfectionism. For neurodivergent folks only, coined with people with anxiety disorders, OCD, and OCPD in mind.

Jellogender: ‘Where you only faintly feel a gender; it’s definitely present but you kind of have this vague, dissociated feeling with it, kind of like if you were to encase the gender in jello!! (`cause like it’s visible, but its kinda covered in stuff). Not to be confused with Jellygender.’

Levigender: ‘A lightweight, superficial gender you don’t feel very much; one you put on in a hurry.’

Vocigender: ‘A gender identity that feels weak or uncertain. Can be combined with relevant genders.’ (You can use vocinonbinary)

Skelogender: A gender that’s a big part of you and comes from deep inside, but is obscure and unknowable. A gender that’s unique to you- it’s you and while it’s probably not clear to others, it keeps you together.

Staticgender: A gender which can best be described as TV static; fuzzy and incomprehensible.

Pregender: A feeling that one’s gender is growing into, but not quite yet at, a particular gender.

Mathgender: A precise but complex gender that, the more you explore its intricacies, the more bizarre it becomes.

Seagender: A gender that is as deep and unknown as the ocean itself. It’s a gender that is mostly incomprehensible but slightly familiar in human terms.

Spectragender: A gender that is such a huge, complex, or confusing spectrum that you can’t begin to define it.

Supertaskgender: You are constantly finding smaller and smaller details about your gender, which is finite, but there are an infinite number of these details to discover.

Vapogender: A gender that sort of feels like smoke. One can see it and understand it on a shallow level but if one tried to go deeper it disappears, and one is left with no gender and only tiny wisps of the gender one thought it was.

Worldgender: Having multiple genders with such complex relationships and subgenders that it feels like the genders make up an entire world or planet together, each gender affecting the biomes and other features of this world/planet.

Mazeplexgender: A gender identity best described as a dense forest or maze which is easy to get lost in, and is hard to navigate through or pinpoint a specific location or gender. It may be unknown to the person if it’s even possible to navigate through this forest or maze to find any answers. Derived from the two words Maze, and Perplex.

Nongender: A gender that is most accurately described by what it isn’t, not by what it is.

Nullgender or Gendernull: Being without gender, but it is not agender or neutrois, a term for those to give a “tangibility” to the intangible thing that is their gender. - Undefinable, intangible, the uncreation of gender. Its taking everything everyone throws at you, saying male, female, pick one, pick this, pick that, and taking it in, only to expel it, poisonous crystals erupting from your skin, armor against those who don’t listen. A ‘I don’t want a label because labels don’t fit but they help shut people up sometimes, so here have a label’ gender label. A fall-back plan, a red herring to give people who can’t conceptualize the absence, void, nullification of gender. It is, and is not. All and none. Nonexistent but present.

Nymhs: A gender which exists but is ambiguous or undefined. To reduce ‘othering’ and increase accessibility to children in particular, this gender can be referred to using both the adjective form ‘nymhs’ (e.g. ‘I identify as nymhs’ or ‘a nymhs individual’) and the noun form of ‘nymh’ (e.g. ‘I’m a nymh’) in the same way one may say either ‘I identify as female’ or ‘I am a girl’.

Jupitergender: A gender that is so large and present, one is not quite sure what it is because it’s too big to see clearly, but it is definitely there and one knows that they’re definitely not cis.

Meergender: A gender that is deep and difficult to explore, reminiscent of a large body of water, while also being multi-faceted and can fit under multiple gender descriptors. Similar to ambimegender, cosmicgender, seagender and genderplus. From the Dutch words meerdere, meaning multiple, and meer, meaning lake.

Perigender: A gender identity that is not currently known, but is becoming clearer over time. A transitional identity; When you feel your gender is comparable to a certain gender, but is a non binary identity and not even partially that binary gender. You identify with not as a gender.

Offgender: A gender that closely represents/is most closely represented by another gender, but is not that gender. Can be likened to what the color off-white is to white for descriptive purposes.

Telegender: “A gender that one feels a disconnect from, almost to the point of not feeling it.“

Paragender: “A gender identity that is close to, but not exactly, a gender. For instance, someone who is a paraboy may feel that their gender is near to, but not quite male.”

Vaguegender or Gendervague: “A gender being mostly or around a certain gender (or mostly around a certain gender), but is only approximate on account of difficulty defining it due to one’s neurodivergence.“

Ventulian: A gender element which is not clearly defined. It may change in a way that is hard to keep up with, impossible to describe or understand, or simply be vague and fleeting in nature, but it is present.

Maringender: A term used to describe when part of one’s gender is identifiable but the other parts(s) is/are unidentifiable.

Pomogender: A gender where one denies or does not fit any labels for any particular gender. For example, someone who knows they’re not cis, but is not interested, or can’t specify what their gender(s) are.

Novigender: When your gender experience (or lack thereof) is complicated in such a way that it is difficult or impossible to fit into one word or term.

Nesciogender: A gender one is not completely sure of due to one’s neurotype disallowing a clear understanding of the concept, but has a vague sense of what it could be; i.e. nescioboy, nescioagender, etc.

Vosgender: A gender that feels wild and free one second, then confined and hidden the next.

Spikegender or Burstgender: A mostly undefined gender with intense momentary spikes of a specific gender, such as boy, girl, genderqueer, etc, that last a relatively short time and fade away.

Nebulagender: a multigender/xenogender identity, nebulagender individuals have many interconnected xenogenders that collectively form a multifaceted, expansive, and beautiful gender experience. May have fully defined genders, like stars that are formed within a nebula, as well as diffuse, vague, and partly/completely unidentifiable gender feelings that exist in between, like cosmic dust.

Vexgender: ‘When one’s gender is in the non-binary/agender spectrum, but pinpointing it beyond that is impossible because the individual does not understand the concept of gender. Not to be confused with Gendervex.’

Quoigender: someone who finds the concept of gender identity, or of existing gender words, to themself to be inaccessible, inapplicable & non-sensical; can mean someone for whom the experience of gender is confusing, someone who cannot tell if they experience gender or if what they experience is indeed gender; can be used instead of “questioning,” which indicates an ongoing search for a better term; quoigender instead indicates a troubled history with gender words/identities, and perhaps a frustration with searching, or finding such a search unhelpful; instead using quoigender as a more permanent, stable, unchanging, fixed point.

Xumgender: Never being satisfied with your gender due to constant self-doubt or identity issues, causing one to compulsively search and seek out something that fits as perfect as possible–to find “the gender” or “the one truth”–though one will never be found due to one’s neurotype, because words will never be able to describe it, and/or its own properties paradox itself. This frequent anxiety and doubt even causes this gender to feel imperfect to the individual.

@genderlist @uncommongenders @xenoqueer @ask-pride-color-schemes @nonbinarypastels @transgenderteensurvivalguide @neutrois @neuroqueer-gray @askagenderfluidandgenderflux @agenderhelp @xenoqueer @xeno-aligned @genderoftheday @genderqueerpositivity @genderfluidsupport @genderqueerplus @quoigender-positivity @quoigender @neurodivergent-crow

#apagenders #undefined genders #anonymous #gender list #nonbinary #gendervoid #gendernull #nullgender #agender #gendervague #neurogender #vaguegender #vague #genderfree #genderblind #genderneutral #long post

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lit-works · 6 years ago

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Heroes For Hire: The Gang Wars Trilogy

Book 1: After Midnight

Prelude : RWST

The moonlight, pale and as mournful as lilies shone onto the chessboard through the steel-grated windows. Marc spector sat in the recreation room of the Ravencroft Institute for the criminally insane, as a committed patient. He looked away from the ensuing chess game momentarily to gaze through the secured windows. He observed a bird sitting in the tree just outside the window. He was sure it was a Falcon, perched there and looking in at him.

Marc had been committed for a number of atrocious crimes he had committed, the most severe of which include murder. The courts had said he had once cut a man’s face off. Since being at the hospital and receiving extensive treatment he had been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, paranoid Schizophrenic hallucinations, and Hero syndrome (a phenomena in which the afflicted desperately crave notoriety or attention for heroic acts, to the extreme of creating catastrophic situations it seems only they can resolve). Hero syndrome most commonly has manifested itself in arson cases that went too far out of hand for the hero/arson. Dissociative Identity Disorder or Split-Personality as it had always been called before seemed to be the root of Marc’s troubling psychoses, according to his institutional psychiatrist. He had developed 3 personas to share his mind with.

He was born Marc Spector. A nondescript Jew growing up in the bronx. But he later became Jake Lockley, a cab driver with some shady connections. He was also Steven Grant, playboy millionaire. However, it was his final alter ego that had ultimately placed Marc into the position to wind up in Ravencroft. He had created the persona of the costumed vigilante Moon Knight, and claimed to have done the egyptian moon god Knoshu’s bidding. While under the guise of Moon Knight he performed numerous illicit activities.

Eventually, like many other psychopathic murderers, Marc was arrested and committed after being deemed mentally unsound to stand criminal trial. For months it seemed that Marc had finally received the help he needed and where he could be protected from and against the community.

But, Marc started having his horrible nightmares again. Cold sweat-inducing, scream evoking, night terrors that stirred him from his sleep to the light of the moon shining in on him in his cot. He was convinced, as he stated in the following therapy sessions that he believed Knoshu was sending him a message through his dreams. Though the message was enigmatic to Marc, the content of the dream itself was vividly concise : flame, with no heat, searing him deeper than the flesh. Dark spirits plotting and menacing. A brutal, savage war amid the very streets of New York littering the streets with the bodies of the youth. An ancient tome. All of this interspersed with vistas of the egyptian deserts and mythic symbolism of the egyptian polytheistic lore. “Typical of his schizoid delusions”, the good Dr. Leonard Samson proclaimed on one occasion.

Soon, Marc began to stop taking his medication. After waiting patiently in the queue for his “ding biscuits”, as the other patients called the thorazine and other various sedatives they were all heavily dosed with, he would cheek his meds instead of swallowing them. He had realized what Knoshu was attempting to convey to him. There was a horrible evil that would occur unless he, Moon Knight, took actions to stop it. He needed to be free of Ravencroft. He needed to fulfill Knoshu’s will.

Finally, on a full moon, just a few minutes before the grandfather clock of the rec room struck midnight Marc enacted his escape.

One of the graveyard shifts guards was performing his routine hall patrol, when he noticed movement in the peripheral of his eye in one of the cells. The treatment staff insisted they be called rooms, but they were cells as much as their inhabitants were criminals. The guard shone his flashlight through the window, and was mortified by what he saw. It appeared one of the patients had hung themselves, again. In a panic, the guard pressed the distress alert button on his radio and scrambled for the proper door key. Once the cell door was thrust open the guard rushed in to try and cut the patient down and hope he wasnt too late. He found himself rather surprised however when the patient was lighter than air and seemed to deflate in his grasp. He was holding onto a set of patients clothing that had been stuffed with pillows and blankets and strung from the central light fixture. Another sick joke the guards were constantly subjected to by the more sadistic or humorous patients. Immediately furious, the guard yanked the bundle of cloth from the ceiling and scanned the cell for the assigned patient. He did not even notice as Marc slipped the truncheon from the guards belt, only the whoosh of air as Marc brought it down onto his temple rendering him unconscious.

Marc had not wanted to hurt officer Bryant, but the man didnt drink coffee and therefore the confrontation could not be avoided. The other guards and remaining on-call medical staff had by this time in the evening had already consumed quite a large portion of what was available in the break and security rooms. Marc had taken the precaution of having his prescriptions diluted into the coffee so he would face minimal resistance during his escape. His fellow patient Quentin Beck, or as most knew him Mysterio, was a trusted patient who was allowed to work in the kitchens and had zero qualms with introducing the chemical into the staff’s diet.

He had to avoid capture if he wanted to follow his visions and fulfill Knoshu’s will, and so could not appear like the asylum escapee he was. So, he stole the white 3-piece suit from the good Dr. Leonard Samson as well as his cane and wing-tipped loafers. In a farewell to the institution, Marc then found a white bag that was often placed over the patients head during constraint to prevent the more violent patients from spitting or biting. He drew the lunar shape of an eclipsed moon on the bag before placing it over his own head and disappearing into the night, a shadow in the light of the night.

12:27 AM

Dispatch : all units, report. We need officers to investigate a potential breaking and entering at The Met. The internal alarms have been triggered, but not the outside alarms. Security staff reported they had footage of an unidentified suspect atop the roof and have sent their own to apprehend the individual. If you are in the area, please report.

Car 10-05 radio: dispatch, 10-4, officer Mcnally and Officer Medina en route to the Met. Investigating potential 10-15, over.

12:45 AM

Car 10-05 radio: Dispatch, this is car 10-05, officer Mcnally reporting from the Met. Investigating the potential 10-35 here, we're gonna need an ambulance out here the met’s security are all laid out. I think one of em got thrown from the roof. No currently visible suspect, still requesting back-up. Officer Medina and i are going to look around the area. Over.

Dispatch: 10-4, over. Car number 10-05 in 5th Avenue area, requesting back-up for 10-35 in progress. Also EMT and paramedic assistance required, a number of ppl are injured at 1000 5th Ave. Please respond, 10-3 over.

12:51 AM

Audio extracted from the patrol car dash-cam footage of squad car 10-05.

(Siren wailing)

(Hurried footsteps)

Officer Mcnally: (to officer Medina) well, what the fuck is this? (To suspect in white) freeze! Drop the cane and put your hands in the air!

Officer Medina: what are you doing at the Met after midnight, huh? The exhibits are closed.

(Silence passes for a few seconds)

Officer Mcnally: i said drop the cane and put your damn hands to the sky!

Officer Medina: damn it, im gonna cuff this clown.

(Sounds of scuffling, resistance and harsh slams)

(Struggle continues)

Officer Mcnally: You have the right to remain silent, asshole!! You have the right to an attorney!! Now get your ass up and into the squad car!!

Officer Medina: (guttural groans)

(Sounds of suspect being apprehended and placed into custody in squad car 10-05).

Officer Mcnally: you alright, Medina?

Officer Medina: bastard broke my arm!!! (Whimpers in pain)

Officer Mcnally over personal radio: Dispatch, suspect apprehended in 10-31 at the Met. Additional charges of about 13 assaults with a deadly weapon, as well as resisting arrest are gonna be pursued with this guy. Bastard sucker-punched the reinforcement officers as soon as they got here and gave me and Medina a pretty good thrashing too. We're gonna need another ambulance, officers injured. But, the suspect is in custody.

1:12 AM

Audio extracted from internal patrol car camera for squad car 10-05

Officer Mcnally: so, what's your name, guy?

Suspect: Moon Knight

Officer Medina: ok, there Mr. Knight you wanna explain to me why you got that bag on your head?

(Silence)

Officer Medina: i mean, the worst most ppl get around Halloween are some kids in costume on their door step, maybe a few eggs and rolls of TP thrown at their house. I get damn near put in traction by some fool breaking into the Met. I thought the holiday seasons were a time for peace on earth and good will towards NYPD.

Officer Mcnally: so, what were you doing there Mr. Knight.

Suspect: the moon led me to a heinous crime so i could stop it, and the moon will not tolerate your interference.

Officer Mcnally: The Moon? That code for something?

(Silence)

Suspect head arched back looking out the rear window of the squad car: I will not allow these misguided villains to stand in your way, I the Moon’s Knight of vengeance must carry out your luminous will.

Officer Medina: uhhh, are you seriously talkin’ to the moon??!! Like the one the cow jumped over??!!

Suspect: there is much more to the moon than the childish stories you know.

Officer Medina: ok, buddy. (Laughs) and i thought seeing a drunk witch fighting marilyn Monroe at that costume party was gonna be the weirdest thing we saw tonight.

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #heroes for hire #moon knight #marc spector #me #my fanfic #l1t3rat1

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kn-1013 · 2 years ago

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wilson:

wilson has chronic migraines due to hitting his head pretty badly during the explosion that got him kicked out of uni

wilson is trans but he could always grow a beard because most women/AFAB people on his moms side of the family had an unidentified intersex condition that caused it

wilson has tourette syndrome and he's very insecure about his coprolalia tics because they make him feel less like a gentleman :(

wilson has OCD

wilson was raised catholic but had too many horrible experiences with it and turned to science as a replacement

wilson struggles with alexia (similar to dyslexia but it's acquired) from the brain damage, as well as having trouble swallowing, and trouble with fine motor control, all from the brain damage

he has had dyscalculia for as long as he can remember. he is BAD at math because he can't read the numbers

wes:

wes has one blind eye due to an incident in his childhood

wes is the youngest of 7 children, though when he was pretty young one of his older sisters died so i guess it's 6

wes is non/very semi-speaking autistic and uses sign language to communicate because speech is just not effective for him, but he has received a lot of abuse for this in the past

wes used to be mean when he was younger, but some people helped him grow out of it

wes has ehlers-danlos syndrome, his joints are funky

maxwell

marfan syndrome and mirror twins run in the carter family, so maxwell is 6'7 and his joints are funky and his organs are flipped around

he and jack had to get their clothes specially made before the constant, due to their heights

jack and william were very close and thinking about how jack must feel knowing his brother isn't there anymore makes maxwell incredibly upset. he misses his brother a lot :(

maxwell has bipolar ii and struggles with severe depression

maxwell has a dissociative disorder, and will go into long dissociative episodes if he's restrained by the wrists, or if someone grabs his wrists, or if he sits in the same position he was in on the throne. sometimes, on bad days, sitting down in a chair or just touching his wrists can bring him back there and he can stare at nothing for hours

maxwell is dyslexic but HATES admitting he struggles to read

DONT STARVE ENJOYERS . tell me ur personal hcs about ur favorite characters RIGHT now please

#txt #my headcannons #hi #hope you like

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ao3feed-erasermic · 11 days ago

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Hiding in the shadows (hoping that they hold you)

Use the related link post to read Hiding in the shadows (hoping that they hold you) on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/61789147 by F0rsakenL4mb Anti-Bullying Seminar What a fucking joke "Today's going to be different from our last classes." Aizawa sensei tells them. "Does anyone here feel unprepared to watch graphic footage?" Aizawa nods, then shuts off the lights like they're watching a home movie, and hits play. There Deku is, hiding behind the camera and filming the worst days of his life. Or As per UA's social issues unit, Aizawa plays footage of bullying from an unidentifiable source Izuku identifies it Words: 2084, Chapters: 1/7, Language: English Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Midoriya Inko, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Bakugou Katsuki, Uraraka Ochako, Iida Tenya, Kaminari Denki, Ashido Mina, Kirishima Eijirou, Sero Hanta, Asui Tsuyu, Jirou Kyouka, Yaoyorozu Momo Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku & Everyone, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Bakugou Katsuki & Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Bullying, Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociation, Flashbacks, Panic Attacks, Bigotry & Prejudice, Quirkless Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Izuku Has One for All Quirk, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead | Dadzawa, Aldera Middle School Faces Consequences (My Hero Academia), Bakugou Katsuki is Bad at Feelings, Midoriya Inko Being an Asshole, sorry - Freeform, Not Beta Read, so yk, Class 1-A as Family (My Hero Academia), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, bkdk if you squint, Midoriya Inko's Bad Parenting Use the related link post to read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/61789147

#ao3feed #erasermic #eraserhead #present mic #aizawa #yamada #mha #bnha #Hiding in the shadows (hoping that they hold you)

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orbemnews · 4 years ago

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What was Germanwings co-pilot's mental state? Story highlights Investigators believe Andreas Lubitz deliberately crashed Germanwings Flight 9525, killing himself and 149 others Lubitz suffered from anxiety and depression symptoms dating back to 2009, French newspaper reported Doctor: It’s ‘rare for depression to cause people to kill other people’ (CNN) — Barring a revelation from his parents or girlfriend, we may never know what was going through the mind of Andreas Lubitz in the moments leading up to the crash of Germanwings Flight 9525. What we now know is that all indications point to Lubitz as the perpetrator of the crash, locking the pilot out of the cockpit and setting the aircraft on a fatal trajectory into a remote mountain range in the French Alps. Every day, more details come to light, as the world struggles to make sense of why a 27-year-old German man would apparently choose to deliberately crash a plane with 150 people on board, including himself – and remain so calm while doing it. When investigators searched Lubitz’s home in Dusseldorf, they found medical leave notes “slashed,” suggesting Lubitz was hiding an illness or illnesses from his employers. The dates for which Lubitz was excused from work included the day of the crash, though investigators have not yet revealed the reason he was excused, if any reason was written on the notes by his doctor. We do know, from a German aviation source, that Lubitz passed his annual pilot recertification examination last summer. An official with Lufthansa, the parent company of the budget airline Germanwings, said that the exam only tests physical health, not psychological health. “He was 100% fit to fly without restrictions,” Lufthansa CEO Carsten Spohr told reporters at press conference last week. “His flight performance was perfect. There was nothing to worry about.” Spohr added that Lubitz had “interrupted” his training, which he began in 2008. That break lasted several months, he said, but that such an interruption isn’t uncommon. Lubitz suffered from “generalized anxiety disorder,” with severe depression symptoms dating back to 2009, according to French newspaper Le Parisien. While the main medical clinic in Dusseldorf denies it was treating Lubitz for depression, German investigators found antidepressant medications in Lubitz’s apartment, according to published reports that CNN has not yet been able to independently confirm. Die Welt, a German newspaper, over the weekend cited an unidentified senior investigator, who said Lubitz suffered from “severe subjective burnout syndrome” and severe depression. “Someone who has a significant depressive episode or depressive disorder will oftentimes get an antidepressant alone, and many times will have a good resolution of those symptoms,” CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta told Poppy Harlow Sunday on “CNN Newsroom.” “People who relapse or develop more of what is called a psychotic depression in addition may have symptoms of psychosis. Maybe they could be having delusions or hallucinations, but the idea is having breaks with reality.” One of the medications Lubitz was prescribed is said to be Agomelatine (an antidepressant medication), according to Le Perisien. Antidepressants can sometimes make people suicidal, especially those suffering from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Other times, they can make patients manic or psychotic. The drug’s list of warnings and precautions include metabolic changes – such as weight gain – and the potential for cognitive and motor impairment. “Has potential to impair judgment, thinking and motor skills; use caution when operating machinery.” In 2010, Lubitz received Olanzpine injections (an antipsychotic medication) “to treat OCD,” according to Le Perisien. Doctors advised Lubitz to be more active, practice a new sport and regain self-confidence. “This is a powerful medication,” said Gupta. “If this is true, it sort of reads into the severity of just how bad the psychosis was, at least at one point in his life.” There are other things besides psychosis for which the drug may be administered, but that’s the most common use. One of the side effects is blurred vision. Citing two officials with knowledge of the investigation, The New York Times Saturday reported that Lubitz sought treatment for vision problems that might have put his career at risk. If he was prescribed this medication as an injectable five years ago, was now taking it as an oral antipsychotic and wasn’t taking it because of it was causing these detrimental side effects, “that could be very concerning, as well,” said Gupta. Authorities have not ruled out that Lubitz’s vision problem could have been psychosomatic. Many people have been asking how likely it is that depression could result in this sort of horrific action. In a word: “Unlikely,” says Dr. Charles Raison, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Arizona. “Most people would just kill themselves,” he says. “It’s very, very rare for depression to cause people to kill other people. This leads me to believe there’s something else going on, like a personality character flaw.” Forensic psychologist Jeff Gardere agrees. “It has to be a very severe depression to the point that there’s a psychosis that’s a result of that depression,” he says. “That’s different than the schizophrenia part of psychosis. With this kind of depression, it’s so deep that you actually break with reality.” Remember, Lubitz was in his late 20s – and the odds of mental illness presenting at this age are much higher for someone in their 20s or 30s. “Sometimes people lose touch with reality slowly. Other times, they lose touch really quickly,” says Raison. “Bipolar psychotic states can develop in as little as a day or two. I’m most curious what was going on in this guy’s life the week before this happened. Did anyone see any changes with his behavior? Did he stop sleeping? There’s a pretty good chance something would come up in speaking with the people in his life.” “If a story doesn’t make sense, it means you don’t have the real story,” says Raison. “Even people who are psychotic will tell you a crazy story. It’s crazy, but it makes sense.” More details are needed on Lubitz’s story. Perhaps the most chilling revelation so far is that Lubitz not only decided to do what he did, but that he ignored the pilot’s pleas to think about the lives on board and change his mind. “It tells you he’s at peace with what he’s doing,” says Raison. “If you were uncertain or anxious, you might still open the cabin door (when the pilot was banging on the door and yelling to be let in). Calm determination to do this tells you he really believed in what he was doing.” “If you look at school shooters, they go into a dissociative state,” says Gardere. “They’ve been planning for quite some time. They go into this personality where they can calmly go into murder mode – robotic and calm. Even when they’re shooting or doing something rageful, they behave in a calm manner. (Lubitz) knew when he got onto that plane that he wasn’t coming back.” On Monday, Britain’s most senior psychiatrist told CNN’s Christiane Amanpour that when a pilot is “acutely depressed or suffering from… any mental illness” that impairs his or her ability to fly, he or she cannot fly an aircraft. “We don’t let pilots fly with depression, not because we’re worried that they’re going to murder everybody on board. That’s such an extraordinary possibility that – that’s not depression – but because they’re impaired in concentration, memory and attention, which isn’t good for a pilot,” said Sir Simon Wessely, president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists and an adviser to the British army. Wessely added that the Germanwings plane crash might open a discussion on “relaxing the laws of (doctor-patient) confidentiality in different countries,” though in the United Kingdom, as well as in many other countries, a doctor is obliged to go to the authorities if he or she believes that people are genuinely being put at risk by one of their patients. CNN’s John Bonifield contributed to this report. Source link Orbem News #copilots #Germanwings #Mental #state

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