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doetic · 2 years ago

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What Lingers - Dark!Edward Cullen x F!Reader (18+)

Plot: Edward Cullen doesn't know how to handle his crush on the new clerk at his favourite book store. Warnings: NSFW, Dark/yandere Edward, unhealthy obsessive thoughts, sexual thoughts (Edward descends into being a bit of a weirdo perv), Edward gets himself off Word count: 2436 Part 2 (coming soon, send in reqs/ideas!)

A/N: My first fic on this account! I haven't written in a while so I may be a little rusty, please bare with me! I didn't have much time to fully proofread this because I just wanted to get it out, so it may be a little awkward and have some mistakes, sorry! If you like this, feel free to send in requests for a part 2 (I'm thinking of writing it in in reader's pov?) or just any requests in general!

At first, Edward Cullen had thought he was dying. His throat had tightened more than he had thought possible, his mouth dried of all venom, he suddenly couldn't remember how to fake the motions of breathing, and despite knowing that it was impossible for his heart to do anything, he couldn't decide if his heart was being squeezed by some otherworldly force, or was kickstarted into a rapid beating that reverberated throughout his body and sounded in his ears like a drum. He quickly ran through his knowledge of vampiric bodies and health, but came up with nothing that could explain what was happening to him, nothing that could clarify why the mere sight of you had elicited such a visceral reaction from him.

Initially, you didn't seem like anyone particularly special. From your thoughts he discovered you were a writer, daydreaming about the draft you were working on as you were leaned against the wooden book store counter, head lazily rested upon your right hand while the left absently drew shapes onto the antique surface. Occasionally, the thought of your cat would interrupt your brainstorming daydream. A chubby orange tabby that was intelligent in all the wrong things and stupid in the rest, who seemed to cause you endless trouble. You were worried he had turned on the tap to drink from it again, an irksome habit he had that often ran up your water bill as he didn't know how to turn it off. None of your thoughts seemed to stick out to him as something of importance, but admittedly being present in your mind brought him a sense of peace he hadn't felt before. With shy hesitation he would even admit to himself that it somehow felt endearing.

Edward did have to give you credit, you certainly were beautiful by human standards. However, after spending decades around Rosalie and other vampires that had been blessed with an unnatural level of beauty made you seem more mundane to him than you would have appeared to a regular human. The more he thought about it though, the more he found he liked that about you. The pimple that lay just underneath your cheekbone, the natural reddish flush to your lips from a functioning circulatory system, the slight frizz to your hair, the rhythmic sound of air being pushed in and out of your body, and the oh so human eyes that looked up from the desk and met his. You were imperfect, flawed, starkly different from himself who had been biologically engineered to be irresistibly perfect from the first bite Carlisle inflicted upon him. You were intoxicating. Suddenly, Edward understood.

"Oh- Uhm- Sorry- Ah!" You jolted up, quickly shifting from your relaxed lean into a stiff, well postured, standing position as you tripped over your words. Edward could hear your heartbeat speed up. With your thoughts a current incoherent jumble, he was left to wondering if it was out of shock from his presence, or a flustered reaction to his appearance.

You cleared your throat, "Y/n. Hi. I work here now, just moved into town a week ago. Can I help you with anything?" A smile appeared on your face, but one that seemed to come from a place of general kindness (and a little embarrassment), rather than the normal customer service mask people put on. It was a scene Edward wished could wrap around his whole body, holding him tenderly in a sea of gentle warmth.

Thousands of replies appeared in his head, things he could say to charm you, things that could make you swoon, words that could make you laugh (a sound he was certain would be an imperfect crackling melody he would play on repeat in his mind), but when he opened his mouth, none of the above came out.

"Machiavelli." Edward wanted to disintegrate into the floor. He was supposed to start off with a smooth line to make you want to talk to him more, not the first author to appear in his head. Who even randomly thinks of Machiavelli anyways? "Sorry, I'm Edward Cullen. My family was the newest ones in town until a week ago I suppose. I'm looking for anything you might have by Machiavelli." He recovered, playing it safe but still flashing you a dazzling smile that always seemed to charm those who saw it.

You looked away from him. He tried not to clench his fists in frustration. He decided that he enjoyed when you looked at him, he liked looking at the many flecks of different hues and shades that made up your irises. So sweetly imperfect.

"Machiavelli..." You pondered, a finger pressing itself into the plush, slightly chapped surface of your lips. You were running through the layout of the store in your mind, trying to remember where it would be located. Edward felt a little bad for wasting your time, he knew the book store's layout in and out. He didn't actually ever come here to buy anything (although he did so quite often to ensure it would stay in business), but rather the usually empty store was a haven for him where he could pretend to be human again while escaping the constant barrage of other beings private thoughts.

"Okay! I think I remember where it would be, follow me!" You looked back at him with a smile. You didn't have to tell him twice, he would stay on your tail as long as you would let him (and perhaps even longer after that, if he was being honest with himself), your presence being a strawberry scented sirens song that he couldn't seem to want to pull himself away from.

"Of course, lead the way," Edward spoke with a slight grin, finding the words ironic. In reality it was him, the covert apex predator of the animal kingdom, who would be herding you like a sheep wherever he wished.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

As he stared at your phone number in his hands, the sheet of paper growing softer and more fragile while he toyed with it, Edward Cullen tried to decide that he hated you. It wasn't your fault at all, you had been nothing but perfectly pleasant and kind to him while he was in your presence, but instead it was his own.

You were kind, sweet, caring, imperfect. Those traits flowed through your veins, they even wafted in the air around you, pulling people close to you. After his first slip up with his words, everything between you two went exactly as he wished it would, and your feelings of curiosity towards him combined with the innately biological pull to his honeypot of inhuman beauty led to him getting your phone number. Everything went perfectly in his favour, and that was the problem.

Out of his family it was Rosalie who resented humans the most, and Jasper who kept the most distance from them, but even though he didn't fall at the extreme end of the spectrum, Edward wasn't a big fan of them either. He looked down on them as weaker life forms, sheep disgustingly careless around wolves, a sentiment he was smart enough to know came from a place of jealousy and sorrow, but still not something he harbored enough strength to get over and befriend one... that was until he saw you.

You made him selfish. His hand trembled as the ten endearingly messily inked numbered stared back at him tauntingly. You made him selfish and he hated you and he had to stop being around you. Something about you, your simplicity, your messiness, every imperfect mannerism that overflowed with life drew him in. Edward couldn't deny his nature when you clouded his senses with envy and awe. It was like the scorpion and the frog, Hades and Persephone. He was a hunter designed to lure you into false security before inevitably striking. He knew he couldn't be pure around you, you were a lamb and himself a lion, not a domesticated dog and cat. Biology and the food chain would triumph over his wishes soon enough, he would be an idiot to not know it.

But even so, a voice in his mind nagged at him, making him weak at the knees with bliss at the thought of giving into it. Hadn't he earned the right to be a little selfish? Aside from his rebellious stage, Edward had been so so perfect, a word he grew more sick of by the day. A word that seemed to wrap itself around his throat and tighten oh so slowly as time went on, now an unbearable pressure he was sure could snap his neck. You were everything he wasn't, everything he needed, you were ambrosia while he was on his deathbed. Could he really be faulted for just a sip?

Of course he didn't mean that literally. Although he knew that being close to you would surely end up with his lips stained crimson with blood and sin, there were ways around it. A junkie always finds a way.

Edward Cullen entered your number into his phone, staring at the blank space for him to type in a message for what felt like an eternity before turning it off completely. It wouldn't be the same to communicate digitally. He wanted you in person, laid bare in front of him, your thoughts not even kept private. He wanted to worship you softly, to expose himself to you fully, for his need and adoration for all that you are as an imperfect, truly human, life filled being. And as his thoughts delved deeper into all that you were, his thoughts took on a double meaning.

Edward had never done this before. He knew he was repressed, he was a religious boy from a much more conservative time that had long passed, and he was fine with that. But, he deserved to be selfish. He had never truly indulged himself, who could blame him for what he was about to do? Especially when it was your fault, you were making him imperfect as well.

His porcelain hand brought the now fragile sheet of paper to his nose, and as he breathed deeply he deluded himself into believing a trace of your aura still lingered on it. His hand hesitantly trailed down to his crotch, his fingers lightly touching the bulge through the fabric of his khakis. The foreign sensation made him let out a small whine that he quickly stifled by biting his lip. He was home alone, his family gone to visit the Denali's for a few days during the schools spring break, but it wasn't because he feared being heard that he stopped himself from making noise, but rather a nagging feeling of shame that faded more and more into the background as he slowly rubbed his bulge harder and faster.

He wondered if God was watching him as he undid his pants, pulling down his boxer-briefs with a hesitancy that seemed to flow away the more he melted into the nagging desire to indulge. If he was being watched, Edward decided God had no right to be angry. It was he who decided to put the most tempting creature in the world right where Edward would meet her, he should have known this would happen. Edward wasn't to blame, he was doing what any person would have done in his situation, and what was life anyways without indulgence?

With another deep inhale, Edward grew more confident. Using his leaking tip as lubricant, he began to quickly stroke his length. There was no point in taking things slowly, he had spent his whole life pent up and teased, why would he do it to himself?

Edward thought of what you would do to him. Your deep pink tongue licking from his balls to his tip, your utterly indecent and irresistible eyes, oh so filled with life, gazing up at him tenderly. The thought made him let out a small groan he couldn't stifle in time. Edward thought of how your skin would feel under his touch, smooth and warm with the occasional blemish. He wanted to slowly run his hand up your bare thigh, watching you squirm with need as he showed you just a fraction of what his life was like.

His hand moved faster and faster and he thought of earlier that day, the way you stumbled upon your words when you first saw him. He decided he would coax you into talking during intimacy, wanting to see how you tripped and fumbled the words of praise for him that would flow out of your mouth as he showed you that drinking blood wasn't the only thing his mouth was good for. He would be a bit clumsy in the beginning, but that would be okay for you, wouldn't it? You don't demand perfection, you're soaked in the opposite, and that is perfect to him.

One more inhale had his brain melt, his hand speeding up as much as he can take as he wonders if he'll be your first too. Surely he will be. If this experience taught him anything, it would be that you were made for him, and as he had never felt this pull to anyone else before, he was inclined to believe he was made for you too. He let out a growl as he thought about someone else laying a hand on you, deciding he should just claim you when the opportunity arises, painting your skin with his-

His loud moans turned to heavy pants, not from lack of air that he doesn't need, but from the intensity of what he had just done. The white liquid flowed down his tip and fist, and a sense of freedom rushed over him. He wasn't bad for this, he was doing what anyone else would do. You were rubbing off on him after just one interaction, making him oh so perfectly imperfect.

He grabbed a tissue from the box that had been placed on the table beside his couch for show, and wiped himself off, tossing the soiled tissue into the trash. His eyes went to his phone, which he turned on with a soft click. He felt better about everything, about himself, about you. What was life without indulgence?

Hello, It's Edward Cullen from the book store. Would you like to get coffee together soon?

He smiled to himself after typing out and sending his message, his hand bringing the piece of paper to his nose one last time, craving your essence, not wanting to miss even a hint of what lingers.

#dark!edward cullen #yandere!edward cullen x reader #dark!edward cullen x reader #yandere!edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #dark!twilight x reader #yandere!twilight x reader #twilight x reader #alyssia writes

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fairyofsilence · 2 years ago

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RISING STAR | 1/7 | THAT’S THE INDUSTRY, BABY SERIES |

Pairing: Producer!Namjoon x Trainee!Reader

Warnings (there's important trigger warnings mentioned, read each one of them carefully and proceed with caution): +18, Yandere, grooming, age gap (reader is 19 while Namjoon is 31), cursing, extreme abuse of power, manipulation, reader has a bad relationship with her mother, self-deprecation, reader has a low self esteem, mentions of unhealthy diets, mentions of toxic beauty standards, both explicit and non explicit sexual scenes; oral sex (m and f reciving), fingering, spanking, protected sex, sex in the work place, loss of virginity, mentions of blood, slight dubcon (she agrees to have sex after he coaxes her into it), mentions of aftercare, mentions of sex, recording of sexual acts without a partner's knowledge, blackmail, forced relationships.

Summary: It's the opportunity of a lifetime, everything you have ever wished for has been presented to you on a silver platter, becoming the next rising star of the critically acclaimed producer Kim Namjoon was a dream come true.

Too bad you are to naive to confuse a nightmare for a blessing.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment.

Word count: 11.3 k

This is the first of seven parts for the That's the industry, baby series, you cand find my main masterlist here. The stories can be read as one shots, the stories just take place in the same universe.

Hello again! It’s been a while, believe me I know, and I also know I’ve been announcing this fic since practically a year now but get this: I’m a depressed college student who loves to procrastinate, but I shit you not tonight I said “fuck it” and finished this enitre fic in eight hours, this is extreamly unedited and I’m posting this at 6 a.m, I’m not even sure I’ll be able to edit this until June but until then please enjoy and let me know what you think! I created this series because I’ve always been shocked at the ammount of disgusting things the entertainment industry has try to hide from the general public, and this series will tackle most of that, withouth more introductions, here’s the first of them, enjoy!

EDITED ON 05/27/2023

You haven’t moved an inch since you’ve put your eyes on the board.

You’re trembling, you can feel the air starting to leave your lungs, but you don’t seem able to take a breath because you feel like if you so much as blink, the announcement will disappear from the board, and it all just be an illusion.

But it’s not an illusion, you’re actually looking at the announcement on the board right now, the letters are big, bright, and bold, and there’s no doubt that what you’re looking at now is your name next to the word “Congratulations.”

“Congratulations Y/N Y/L/N, you won!

You’ve been chosen as Rkive records new rising star.

For more details, check the inbox on your email in which you’ve been send the instructions on what to do next.”

All sound seemed to quiet down, you couldn’t hear a single thing except a striking white noise ringing on your ears, and although you can feel some of the trainees jumping around trying to congratulate you, you can’t seem to do anything right now, your body is paralyzed, your eyes fill up with tears and you feel as if your heart had gone all the way up to your throat.

You’ve won, you’re finally going to debut, Kim Namjoon had chosen you.

It feels surreal, you’ve been waiting for this moment, four years to be exact, and it has finally going to happen, your biggest dream was just a day away from becoming true, a small laugh leaves your mouth at the thought, you’ve made it, you finally made it happen.

Reality comes back to you in the form of a hug, you realize the person who’s hugging you is Soowon, one of the newest trainees who, after you got her out of trouble with the singing coach, decided to attach herself to you and proclaim the two of you as best friends, she seems more excited than you right now, jumping around while trying to not break the hug, somehow you manage to wrap your arms around her, giving her a weird side hug, but she doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, she seems even more excited after you returned the hug.

“You did it! I know you would win” She says after hugging me a little bit tighter “It was only a matter of time before this happened, you’ve been working so hard” You feel a tear rolling down your cheek after her words, you finally turn around to return the energy of the hug and while rubbing your back, she whispers onto your ear “I know you’ll be the biggest star of this company Y/N, I’ve known it since the day we met”

You allow yourself to feel the praise and hugs from your fellow trainees because you know that once you step a foot inside of your apartment, you know that your biggest obstacle from you reaching your dreams is waiting for you inside, so just for a few more hours, you let yourself be happy, because you know that when she finds out about the news you received today, a light argument is the best thing you can’t expect.

Your mother is already at your apartment by the time you got home, and that was the first weird thing you noticed.

The second was that she made dinner, your mother never makes dinner, she always works until late in the night and you’ve survived on rice and instant ramen because of that, but tonight she seems to gone all out, there’s even meat at the table for god sake, and that’s how you know there’s only two reasons behind this happening; she was either fired or she got a new, better paying job, and you’ll be very surprised if it ends up being the latter.

She has never been good at maintaining a job, and for someone who’s been poor her whole life, she doesn’t seem to understand that to maintain a job is to be quiet, the workers should never complain to their bosses, at least, that’s what you’ve learned during your time in the company.

She notices your presence after you stand in the entrance for a while, then again, it’s not hard to do so, your apartment is not big enough for you to go unnoticed anyway, she turns off the stove and walks up to you with a smile, greeting you excitedly.

“Hi sweetheart, sit down please, I’m just going to bring out some plates, okay?” You don’t say anything, but she doesn’t seem to mind the lack of response, turning away from you to grab two plates from the small kitchen cabinet while you set down your backpack and take a seat on the floor in front of the small table, your palms begin to sweat as you mentally prepare to tell your mother about the news, which you’re sure she won’t take kindly.

“How was your day? You usually come back earlier than this, I told you that this trainee stuff cannot interfere with school” And there she goes, you can even seat down in peace for five minutes before she starts listing all the stupid reasons why you should be a trainee, but today you won’t take any criticism from her, actually, today you’ll prove her just how wrong she’s been.

“It was great, I have good news actually” Your voice loses power for a bit, but you pull through it, your mother sits down and seems curious about the news for once.

“Yeah? What is it? You’re finally leaving that company for good? They’re the reason you got two years behind in school” Your eye twitches at her remark but you ignore her before dropping the bomb.

“No, it’s the opposite actually” Her eyebrows raise at that, and she looks at you expectantly before you say, “I’m signing my contract tomorrow, I’m going to debut soon.”

The silence that follows after your words seems to last an eternity.

Your mother puts her utensils down, she licks her lips and lets out a deep sigh after a few seconds, she doesn’t like this at all.

“I was expecting good news” Her words feel like a dagger piercing right through your heart, but you maintain your posture, you can’t let her, and her hurtful words get to you.

“This is good news mom, don’t you understand? I wasn’t sign to a small company, Bangtan signed me, Kim Namjoon chose me” Your mother makes eye contact, and it makes you falter for a second, she always knows how to bring you down when you’re finally going up.

“Who put those ideas on your head? That Kim Namjoon that you always talk about?” Before you can even talk back she cuts you off before adding “Sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than this, when man want something, they’ll say anything to get you” You hate when she does this, when she makes you feel small, making you think you’re stupid without even listening to what you have to say, you hate her.

“First of all, I’m meeting him for the first time tomorrow, so no mother, he hasn’t been putting any ideas on me, and also, why are you acting so shocked at this? I’ve been training for years, you know that it was bound to happen, I’ve been working so hard for this moment to come and the only thing you can say is something negative, can you just say ‘congratulations’ at least? This is something important to me, can you at least pretend that you’re happy for me?” Your voice breaks by the end and instead of listening to your concerns, your mother decides to do what she does best; get defensive after you call her out.

“Why do you always just assume the worst of me darling? I’m just expressing my concern as your mother, is it wrong to be worried about who my daughter is going to be spending so much time with?” Her tone just manages to push you over the edge every time, you don’t even realize you’re crying until a teardrop land on your lap, you’re quick to wipe your tears before she gets the satisfaction of knowing she can affect you so much, you make eye contact with her before responding.

“Why can you just be happy for me mom?” You’re tired of arguing, but as usual, she doesn’t notice how you feel.

"I'm just worried about you, darling. You know that the career you want is risky. What if they change their minds and leave you without warning? What if you get injured before you even have a chance to perform? And what if they decide you're not good-looking enough after a few years? Have you thought about what you'll do then?" The venomous words spill out of her mouth so effortlessly that you're taken aback. Even your mother seems surprised by what she just said, but she doesn't backtrack or apologize. She only looks at you with a guilty expression, her eyes betraying her harsh tone. You let out a bitter chuckle before responding.

“You know what mom? I don’t think you’re worried” you say, your eyes fixed on your hands in your lap before voicing the thoughts that have been on your mind for a long time “I think you’re jealous” The silence in the room was so prominent you could hear a pin drop “I know you were young when you had me and I’m sorry I screwed up your life, but your misery is not my fault, I have to live my own life and make my own path, and being an idol is the path that I chose, so I’ll let things clear for you, you either accept my choices without any type of criticism or I’ll have to leave this place” You stand up and before she can respond, you leave her with this; “although, after signing my contract, I might just leave either way” with that, you make your way to your shared bedroom, not having the courage to say anything after your fight.

Later that night, you noticed your mother quietly slipping into bed, assuming you were already asleep. However, you struggled to find peace, tossing and turning as your thoughts continued to plague you. Every time you tried to close your eyes; you could only see the look on your mother's face after your confrontation. The night stretched on endlessly, and despite your efforts to find rest, sleep eluded you. The weight of guilt lay heavy on your heart, and you knew that the rift between you and your mother had only grown wider. Your once-fragile relationship now seemed completely shattered. However, you were resolute in your decision to pursue your career and follow your dreams. While the thought of losing your mother was painful, the thought of losing this opportunity would have been even worse. With this assurance, you finally managed to drift off into unconsciousness, with the hope that tomorrow you’ll be able to forget about the tough time you went through tonight.

You don’t think you’ve ever been more nervous than you are right now.

You can feel the cold sweat forming on the crown of your forehead, your body feels like a quivering mass of jelly, the subtle trembles barely perceptible to anyone but you, a physical manifestation of your own nervousness, you’ll be biting your nails too if you could, but ever since receiving the most shocking news of your life you don’t think there’s anything left for you to bite off.

Today, if everything goes according to plan, you’ll become the newest artist under Rkive’s music records, the most prestigious record label in the entire country, owned by one of the most acclaimed producers of the decade, and your own personal God, Kim Namjoon.

As you step into Rkive's gleaming headquarters, the air is charged with an indescribable energy. You can practically feel the prestige of the company pulsing through the walls, and the faint sound of music drifting through the halls is enough to send shivers down your spine. You check your phone for the last time just to make sure you got everything down, the instructions they gave you were simple, but your anxiety makes you feel hyperaware of everything, taking a deep breath while closing your eyes you try to calm yourself down, chill the hell out, you say to yourself, you’re going to weird him out, granted, Namjoon might not be weirded out by you but he’ll definitely would think you aren’t ready for this and that’s not the case at all, you've worked so hard for this opportunity, and you won't let your anxiety get in the way now that you're so close to being signed, especially by someone like Namjoon, and given his reputation, being signed by him would be the ultimate validation of your hard work and talent.

Kim Namjoon isn’t an easy man to impress, because not only has he worked with the biggest stars in the industry, but also, any music related award you can think of; he most likely already has won at least two of those, and if his experience wasn’t intimidating enough, his unwavering commitment to achieving perfection on every aspect of his music is both impressive and intimidating, commanding respect from those around him, and you definitely respect him, in fact, there's no one in the world that you look up more than Namjoon, you want to impress him, make him remember who you are, make him wish he had discover you sooner, you want your idol to want you as desperately as you want him, and you won’t leave this building until you accomplish that.

As you approach the front desk, the receptionist glances up at you with raised eyebrows, silently urging you to speak. Though her harsh glare could be intimidating, you're determined to stay focused on the reason you’re here. You won't let her nasty glare affect you, not even a little bit.

You take a deep breath and greet her politely, "Hi." Even though she might be looking down on you, you refuse to be rude. You state your business clearly, "My name is Y/N, and I have a meeting with Mr. Kim Namjoon today in his studio."

At the mention of his name, her glare softens up a bit, but still looks annoyed, with a monotone voice, she says “Wait for just a second please” before reaching for the telephone on the desk, it’s only a matter of seconds after calling when the other line picks up, they exchange a couple of words that you can’t decipher and after she hangs up, she looks back at you with a fake smile before standing up, she speaks with a more cheerful tone this time “Mr. Kim’s assistant is coming down to escort you to his studio, please wait for a moment, you’re welcome to sit down in the lounge as you wait” the receptionist points at the small waiting lounge that’s right in front of the elevators, you whisper her a small thank you before making your way over there, sitting down on the individual sleek black leather couch, impatiently waiting for his assistant to come out of one the elevators.

After sitting there for just a few minutes, you begin to feel very out of place, everything in this building looks, feels, and even smells expensive, and somehow here you are, a nameless trainee with second hand bought clothes, with the smallest, cheapest purse which you keep holding on tightly into your lap, shrinking into yourself more each minute that passes by.

You’ve never had a high self-esteem, but it seems the small bit of confidence you’ve had has disappear after knowing that you’ve won the contest and you will be meeting Kim Namjoon in person, you’re scared, your mind tormenting you with all the “what if?” questions, what if he decides you’re not actually the one?, what if he thinks you’re not good enough?

What if?, what if?, what if?

Before you can think about any more ways on how this whole thing could go wrong, the small ding sound of the elevator pulls you away from your thoughts, you’re quick to stand up and soon after that, a short, petite woman steps out of the elevator, her eyes find you quickly after coming out and a small smile appears on her face as she approaches you, clutching a clipboard on her hands.

“Hi!” Her cheerful tone catches you by surprise, but you smile nevertheless “You’re Y/N right?” you answer her with a small nod, which she ends up mimicking before talking again “I’m Sohee, I’m Namjoon’s assistant, do you have everything we asked you to bring?” you respond with a small ‘yes’ before making a gesture towards your bag, she nods again before signaling the elevator “Follow me please, I’ll take you to his studio so you can talk for a bit before signing” You’re quick to follow her request by stepping into the elevator next to her, she presses the button of the 14th floor and you both wait until the doors close and the elevator starts running, Sohee turns to you and smiles before asking “Nervous?” You let out a small laugh before answering.

“Very, I can’t believe this is happening right now” Your palms begin to sweat, and she laughs as you wipe your hands on your pants, you decide to redirect the conversation towards her “So, how long have you’ve been working for him?” Sohee’s eyes widen up a little bit after your question, she seems genuinely surprised by your interest, but she answers either way.

“Three years next month, my best friend got me this job actually, it’s sort of a long story but to keep things short, she works with Kim Taehyung, he told her about Namjoon needing an assistant and that’s how I landed here” She speaks very fast and you have a hard time catching what she’s saying, but before you can respond, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors begin to open, you’re welcomed by a similar lounge than the one in the reception, only that this lounge had a large plaque that read “Rkive Music Records” in a beautiful gold color, the letters engraved in a pitch-black tone, if you though the lobby looked expensive, Namjoon’s floor was a whole different level.

“Follow me please, I’ll lead you to his office, he’s already waiting for you” Her words make you shiver, you can’t believe it’s finally happening, the excitement is making your legs shake and you can barely breath as you make your way through the long hallway, passing the small reception desk and several doors of what you can assume are different studios.

Sohee comes an abrupt stop, causing you to hold your breath until she turns to look at you and with a bright smile, she gestures the door right in front of you, which holds a sleek, platinum plaque with Kim Namjoon’s name engraved on it, you gulp and letting out a deep sigh, she says “This is it, good luck!” She holds up two thumbs and you let a nervous laugh at her antics, she leaves quietly and just like that you’re left on your own, with a shaky hand, you reach to know on the studio’s door, you only have to wait for a couple of seconds, but you’re anxiety is making it seem like time going slower than it actually is, you’re beginning to lose your mind until finally, the door handle turns and you’re face to face with the person you’ve never thought you’ll ever see this close, Kim Namjoon stands right in front of you, with a big smile on his face, his dimples only making him look even more attractive, his dark hair is pulled back and he’s wearing all black, he looks hot and he knows it, that’s what makes him more dangerous, it seems like an eternity before he opens his mouth and says, “Well hello there” His deep voice makes you even more nervous, “You must be Y/N, please, come in” Granted, he chose you as the winner of the contest, he must know your name, it’s logical, but your inner fan cannot believe your idol just said your name so casually, you compose yourself before you answer him with an enthusiastic nod, not forgetting to bow before anything, Namjoon let’s out a chuckle before leaning against the wall to make room for you to walk in, you’re quick to follow, entering his studio while a timid “Thank you” leaves your lips.

The first thing you notice about his studio is how big it is, you had expected nothing less than this, giving that he’s the owner of this record label, but it still doesn’t make it any less shocking, you almost feel ashamed of the fact that his studio seems to be bigger than your shared apartment with your mom. When you first walk in, there’s a small hallway that leads you to the main part of his studio, but instead of a wall, there’s a huge glass to showcase his biggest accomplishments, his awards are perfectly lined up in multiple shelves and there’s some of his biggest songs displayed with as either platinum or gold records, some of the movies he has produced the soundtrack of are also displayed by a frame with the poster on it, you don’t realize you stopped following him until he reached out to tap you in the shoulder, you turned to look at him and you found him with a teasing smirk on his face, you give him a shy smile in return.

“Sorry, I was just admiring everything" Your face feels hot, and he lets out a deep chuckle that makes you shiver, his presence alone makes you nervous, and having him smiling and talking to you with that deep voice of his was making you crazy.

"Don't worry, it’s a bit overwhelming isn’t it?” You nod and Namjoon imitates the action “Hobi says that all the time when he comes by” The casual mention of such a huge star makes your eyes go wide and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, he smiles widely and you could swear he mouthed the word cute, but you couldn’t tell if you were just imagining things or if it actually happened, so you only smiled and continued to follow him through the hallway.

And if you thought the hallway was something, you weren’t prepared to see his actual studio, in fact, you couldn’t even process your surroundings because Namjoon put his right hand on your lower back, a weird feeling washed all over you but noticing he was guiding you to a small sofa, you turned to look at him and he only gestured with his other hand for you to take a seat, suddenly, your nerves made you feel silly, of course he was just being nice, you were just paranoid.

“Please take a seat and get comfortable, it’s going to be a pretty long session” Namjoon chuckles after that and you let out an awkward laugh.

His studio was so intimidating, you couldn't even sit down in peace without thinking you'll probably break something that cost more than your apartment, sensing your nervousness, Namjoon puts his hand on your shoulders while giving you a reassuring smile.

"Don’t panic, everything's going well" You give him a small nod, and he turns his back after you finally seem to catch your breath, walking towards what seems to be a mini fridge "Would you like something to drink? I have water, some energy drinks" Namjoon pauses and looks up at you with a teasing smile, his dimples full on display, this man would be the death for you "I have beer as well, if you can handle it" He raises an eyebrow and it makes you giggle, Namjoon seems to love your reaction, but he waits patiently for your answer, you compose yourself and finally give him an answer.

“Water is fine, thank you” Your voice is barely audible, but you don’t stutter so you consider that a win, Namjoon nods and pulls two water bottles from the mini fridge, and makes his way to his chair after closing the door.

“So, let’s start talking business, shall we?” Namjoon says after handing you the bottle and sitting down in a chair, the only thing between you and him being the small coffee table where a leather folder lays over it, as well as two fancy looking pens.

“Okay” You agree, and Namjoon’s aura seems to take a shift, exuding power and knowledge, two things you very much lack off.

“So, I’m assuming that you read the contract when you entered the contest, right?” His gaze is so intense it makes you grip on the edge of your skirt tightly, responding with a nod because you know that your voice will give out if you try to speak right now, Namjoon takes your answer before continuing, “Basically, the contract says that we’re making an EP, you will be making all types of promotions and you will be making a music video for the main track, I have some songs ready and while I personally think the artist should have an input on the songs, we were given only two months to deliver a full EP, so as soon as you sign we’ll begin to work, okay?” Your enthusiastic nod makes him smile “Perfect, do you have any concerns about the contract? You should ask questions before signing, you know?” That makes you genuinely laugh, and Namjoon seems happy he has eased your mood a little.

“The contract is only for an EP, right?” Your tone is a bit steadier and Namjoon nods before explaining.

“Yes, but I’m sure your EP will be a success, which means a more permanent contract” Namjoon can sense you tensing up at the probability, so he surprisingly, reaches out to squeeze your thigh before adding “Someone as talented as you shouldn’t be worried about that, your debut will go better than you expect, I’ll make sure of that” His words feel like a soft blanket, providing comfort to your worries, the current position of his hand makes you nervous, but you pay it no mind as you nod and smile, Namjoon is just being friendly, there’s nothing to be scared about.

“So, what about management? Who is going to be my manager?” Your question makes him smile and you’re shocked to the core when his index finger rises up to point at himself, there’s no fucking way “But Mr. Kim, you’ve never- “Namjoon cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

“There’s a first time for everything, right?” You’re speechless and Namjoon takes your silence as a cue to keep talking, “You know, when I saw your audition, I was starstruck, I even got mad at the management because how in the fuck have they kept you training for so long? Such a talented person deserves to be seen by the whole world” His dragon shaped eyes look directly into yours and you’re left breathless by his praise, hearing those words coming from his mouth seemed unreal “I wanted to be in control of your debut because while this people might have underappreciated your talent, I saw your potential right from the start” His praise makes you feel dizzy and you can’t believe what’s happening right now, you can barely register him reaching out for one of the pens at the table, putting in one of your palms before he asks “What do you think then, would you give me the chance to make you the star you’re meant to be?” You almost feel hypnotized, slowly nodding your head while gripping the expensive pen on your hand, Namjoon’s smile almost seems to shine as he hands you the leather folder containing the contract, you read quickly through the pages before reaching the final one, where your name is beneath a long line, waiting only for your signature, because Namjoon had already signed this.

With a trembling hand and with a deep sigh, you put the folder on your lap and click on the small button on the pen, you only pause for a second before signing the contract, you’re still in the clouds even after looking at your signature on the strikingly white paper, you lift your head only to see Namjoon looking at you with mischief written all over his face, his eyes seem to hide something you can’t quite decipher, but he soon opens his mind to let you know exactly what his thoughts are.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll make sure you become the biggest star this company has ever seen.”

You knew that becoming an artist was never going to be an easy job, but the amount of times you’ve stayed working late this week alone was ridiculous, turns out, the rumors about Namjoon’s work ethic were true, his perfectionism was driving you insane, the amount of times he had asked you to start a song all over again because he wasn’t a ‘100% sure’ if he like the way you sounded almost made you bang your head against the recording booth wall, but you didn’t, you stayed put, only smiling and responding by putting your thumbs up until he gave you the sign to get ready to start recording again. You sang until your throat became sore, you danced until you stopped feeling your limbs, the fatigue was quickly catching up to you and everything started to pile up fast, you needed to memorize all lyrics and choreographies in less than two months without mentioning all the physical changes the agency was demanding from you, your mother’s words ringing loudly through your ears every time you were reminded to not eat until you were done for the day and even then, your single daily meal would barely make you feel full, you had to control your hunger by eating a small bowl of ice cubes and drinking water.

You were in the verge of a breakdown when one night after your first month of working together, Namjoon had finally told you that you did great and that you could come out to join him while he worked, you were so caught up with singing your heart out that you didn’t realized that Namjoon had ordered dinner for the two of you, you thanked him by giving him a small bow and a tired smile, he only gestured her to sit down and to eat, and you did exactly that, pulling your chair closer to him before sitting down, to which you could see from the corner of your eye that he smirk at your actions.

“I didn’t ask for what you liked but I supposed that you can’t go wrong with McDonald’s” Namjoon said while putting his earphones down to his neck and grabbing his own dinner, you made a hand gesture to let him know that it’s fine, McDonald’s right now seems like heaven to your starved stomach.

“It’s okay, you shouldn't worry about me, I would’ve eaten something at home” You dig into some fries and Namjoon sends you a look you can’t quite comprehend.

“Nonsense, how can I not worry about you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed about the stupid diets the company is forcing you to do” You freeze at his words and Namjoon lets out a deep sigh before adding “You should’ve told me before; I would’ve done something earlier” His concern makes you feel guilty, so you try to make excuses to make him (and yourself) feel better.

“They’re just making sure I look good before the filming starts, I have to look my best before debuting, you know that” You can’t even look at him while you’re talking, you don’t know if it’s your shitty diet or Namjoon’s words that make you lose your appetite, but he wasn’t content with your answer, pulling his chair even closer to you, forcing you to finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight.

“It’s bullshit, you already look perfect to me” His words make your heart jump “And besides, if you don’t eat well, you won’t have enough energy for the live performances, so you better start eating good after today, you got that?” You haven’t even noticed than Namjoon’s hand has made it’s way to one of your thighs, whilst your knees were faintly brushing against his, his sudden closeness catches you off guard, but you make no effort to separate yourself from him.

During this past month, you have started to catch up on some patterns, patterns that make you feel somewhat uneasy, because while you know it might just be your imagination, you can’t help but to realize how isolated you’ve become after you started to work on your EP, you haven’t spoken to any of your fellow trainee friends because, according to Namjoon, they might be jealous of your upcoming debut so you must focus on yourself right now, which is a fancier way of telling you to not speak to them, besides that, the only interactions you get outside of the building is with your mother, which, after your fight, your relationship with her now consisted on greeting each other at night and leaving the apartment before either one of you woke up, and while you talked with Sohee every now and then, the only constant human interaction you had for the past month has been with Namjoon, and while your silly crush on him remains very much alive, you can’t help but to feel like something isn’t right, his lingering touches make you jump every time it happens, and some of the things he says makes you feel uncomfortable, but you’ve blame it all on your nerves, the deadlines are approaching too fast and Namjoon is only trying to make things easier for you, it makes you feel ungrateful to doubt on him like this but you can’t help it, he’s a man with too much power and you think it’s only natural for someone in your position to feel like this.

You brush off your inner dilemma when Namjoon asks you if you want to listen to your last recording, passing you a pair of headphones and waiting until you’ve put them before playing it, you’re soon welcomed by the perfect instrumental before hearing your voice through the headphones, no matter how many times you’ve done this by now, listening to your own voice feels just as exciting as the first time, the unfinished song quickly comes to an end, you and Namjoon continue to talk about minor details until you pause the conversation to drink some water, your focus on the large screen on Namjoon’s mixing table makes you unaware of the intense stare he has set on you.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Namjoon’s unexpected question takes you by surprise, and stare at the screen in shock before you can answer him.

“What?” You let an awkward laugh out as you look in his direction, his expression being unable to read. Your brain still can't comprehend a reasoning behind his question or why he would be interested in such meaningless matters, but he was your boss now, and you didn’t want to make him mad at you just because you felt a little uncomfortable by his question, so you responded “I don’t have a boyfriend, I never had one actually” You’re anxious and that makes you share more information than what he has asked for, however, he seems to take this information as if it was exactly what he needed to know, he leans back in his chair and gives you a teasing smile after your confession.

“Now that I can’t believe it” You're about to protest in your defense but he finishes what he wanted to say before you get a single word out of your mouth “A beautiful girl like you has never had a boyfriend? That just can’t be true” His smile grows bigger as you get more flustered by his compliments, his hand reaches out towards your hair and tucks the loose strand that covered one side of your face, caressing your cheek with his long fingers as you lean into his touch, welcoming his soft touch after longing for it for what felt like an eternity "I'm convinced now that boys your age simply cannot see a real women even if it’s right in front of them” Namjoon seems to thrive on the effect he has caused in you after you let out a shy giggle at his words, how does he always know what’s the right thing to say?, you feel so giddy inside you feel like you might burst with how happy you felt after hearing those words come out of his lips, did Namjoon really see you as a woman? You simply cannot believe it, a man like him would never set his sight on such a meaningless, young, and stupid girl like you, no, a man like him needed a mature and sophisticated woman who matched his good looks and graceful nature.

“You don’t mean that” Your lack of confidence makes you take distance from him by standing up and trying to walk away from him, but Namjoon seemed to have different plans.

You gasped loudly as he spined you around before picking you up so easily and placing you over his mixing table, it was a little uncomfortable giving that you were sitting over so many buttons, but right now that didn't bother you in the slightest, especially now that his mouth has quickly found it’s way on yours, the two of you sharing a such a messy kiss that will make you feel ashamed if you were on your right mind, he bites your bottom lip and you let out a small whimper at his actions, Namjoon separates from you only after your lips are red and swollen, you’re too far gone to notice him parting your legs open with his large hands, looking at you dead in the eyes as he slowly sinks down on his knees and you could help but to stare at him in shock.

Kim Namjoon, the man who’s technically your boss and the man you have fantasized about for years, is getting down on his knees to pleasure you.

"Namjoon, what are you.." He raises a single finger motioning you to be quiet and you quickly follow his command, he keeps looking at you as his hands make their way to your ass, gripping it tightly as you let out a soundless gasp.

"Don't you want it baby? I see the way you look at me" His deep voice lures you, his experience showing through on how easily he got you longing for more, his eyes leave yours as he starts kissing up from your knee to your inner thigh, giving you goosebumps all over "Your pretty eyes light up whenever you see me, it drives me crazy, I can’t hold myself back any longer" He's the one that’s driving you crazy, touching you in ways no one ever has, making you feel desired, willing to give you all the pleasure you can take "Let me do this beautiful, let me taste that pretty pussy of yours" His crude words make you moan as his mouth gets closer to your cunt, you can't this anymore, you need him, as his hands start to grip your underwear, you softly grip his hair and make him look up at you, the sight of him is sinful, messy hair, his dragon eyes filled with lust and his beautiful lips are swollen after the kiss you shared, you need him so bad, you cradled his face in your hands as you speak.

"I just-I've never" You're so desperate for him you can't even form a proper sentence, he chuckles darkly and starts to pull at your underwear, the action making you even more anxious, and without thinking straight, you spit out the truth behind your nervousness "I'm a virgin" His antics stop and his eyes gleam with mischief, although he stopped his movements, his hands didn't move from their position.

"Do you want me to stop then? I would understand if you wanted to, but…" He takes a deep breath while he buries his face onto your inner thigh, you run your fingers through his hair before he speaks again "I really want to eat you out" Namjoon's word send a wave of shivers down your spine and while you’re scared shitless, you don't really feel like it's the right decision to deny a men like him the opportunity to pleasure a little nobody like yourself.

"I want that too" You whisper loud enough for him to hear and the dimples that appeared after you said that made you think that it was completely worth it to ignore your fears.

“I’ll be taking this off then” Namjoon’s deep voice gives you goosebumps as he pulls down your underwear, slowly dragging them down your legs until they hit your ankles, taking them off completely after that.

You’re shaking and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

His hands continue to brush up and down your hips, before making its way to the back of your thighs, gripping them tightly, opening your legs just a tiny bit more before starting to kiss on your inner thighs, your hands instantly reaching out to his hair, gripping it tightly at the roots, Namjoon lets out a deep groan that makes you shiver, his touch becomes rougher after your antics, bruising the inside of your thighs as his tongue lapped on your clit, you couldn’t recognize the sound that came out of your mouth, you’re moans becoming louder as his lips latch onto your clit, you can feel his fingers starting to tease your entrance, collecting your slick before pushing a single finger inside, he continues to make out with your cunt before easing a second finger inside you, and your brain stops working as soon as he easily finds your sensitive spot, pushing his fingers in and out quickly, making your eyes closing harshly and your thighs trap him as you let out a scream before coming on his tongue, your legs shaking as he greedily laps your orgasm, he doesn’t stop until you whimper in pain and pull at his hair trying to separate his mouth from you, Namjoon looks sinful with his lips glistening with your slick, you can’t help but moan as you look at him, his hands make their way to your neck and he harshly pulls you into a kiss, it’s so messy and you’re loving it, your small hands caress his back and after a while Namjoon ends the kiss while brushing your hair with his fingers, looking into your eyes before smiling.

“You’re such a good girl baby, cumming into my tongue like that” His words make you blush, you’re face gets warmer and he laughs at your reaction “Don’t be shy now baby, not after you screamed my name like that” You hide your face into his chest from the embarrassment, and Namjoon continues to laugh as he embraces you in a tight hug.

This only last for a couple of minutes before he turns his head towards you, his mouth being dangerously close to your ear before whispering; “You know, good girls also return the favor” His words make you gulp and you know that it’s only fair what he’s asking for, hell, if it was any other man, he probably would’ve expected you to get on your knees without giving anything in return, and besides, you’re truly wondering how does Kim Namjoon taste like.

“I’ve never done it before” The deep groan that leaves his lips makes you tremble; he gives you a small kiss before smiling down at you.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll be guiding you ok?” You nod before standing up while holding hands with him, Namjoon takes a step back before sitting down on his chair and the look on his face makes your legs feel like jelly, with a low, deep voice, he commands “Get on your knees for me baby.”

Taking a step forward so your body fits inside his open legs, you slowly sink down onto your knees, Namjoon lazily motions at his crotch before saying “Go on then, pull my cock out.”

Your nerves make your hands shake as you reach for his belt, unbuckling him with minimal effort was well as unbuttoning his pants with ease, Namjoon seems desperate with the way he’s helping you by dragging his pants mid down his thighs, his hard cock hitting his lower stomach, making your mouth water at the sinful sight, Namjoon smiles at your reaction “Take it with your hands baby, c’mon” your small hand reaches out to touch him and Namjoon lets out a hiss before adding; “Suck on my tip baby”.

Gradually, with Namjoon’s help you soon started to set a slow peace, making him lose his mind at the sight.

Your pretty young self on your knees, mouth full of his cock, gagging all over him making him go feral, he doesn't know why he's losing his mind this bad, truthfully, this isn't the best blowjob he's ever had, but it's the fact that it's your first time doing this, making him the only men who's ever gotten to see you like this makes his hips buckle into your mouth making you gag even louder, and he can't help but to let out a deep groan while gripping your hair even tighter. He must completely ruin you now, he needs to mark you so that every man knows who’s doing this to you, that you did everything you could to please him and him only, that you belong to him, forever.

Your lazy blowjob only last for a couple more minutes before Namjoon decides he’s had enough, with a single pull of your hair, he forces you to separate your mouth from his cock, a trail of saliva connecting you to his tip, Namjoon has never seen something so hot in his life.

You look up to him expectantly, and you can only let a small yelp after his strong arms push you up until your standing onto your shaky legs.

He roughly bends you over his mixing table, his equipment making you feel slightly uncomfortable giving the position he had chosen but you stay put, not wanting to disappoint him, he coos at you for being so obedient and quietly apologizes is he has hurt you, you appreciate his concern and decide to wiggle your hips at him in anticipation, Namjoon laughs and spanks your ass, making you squeal and jump at the unexpected action, you feel him leaving his position behind you, you try to look for him without leaving the position he has put you in and you find him looking through one of his drawers, he's probably looking for a condom, you thought, and your suspicions turn to be correct, the platinum package shining under his studio lights, you can feel the anticipation running through your veins, you're about to have sex for the first time with none other than Kim Namjoon, you were one lucky bitch.

While you feel excited, you're also anxious, what if he's not satisfied with what you have to offer? How can you compete with the types of women that have been like this with him? What if you're not enough for him?

You're panicking and Namjoon only notices after taking a condom out of the box, he walks up at you and quickly wraps his arms around your waist and begins to shush you after your breathing starts to rapidly increase.

"Relax baby, I'm not doing anything you don't want me to" He whispers into your hair and then gives you several pecks, his actions relaxing you only briefly before you start panicking again.

"I just… What if you don't like me afterwards?" You whisper pitifully while a single tear rolls down your cheek, Namjoon holds you even tighter after that.

"Oh baby, I feel like it's the opposite" His arms lift you enough so that he can kiss your cheek, helping you clear your negative headspace for a bit "I don't think having you just once it's going to be enough for me" You turn your head to look at him just to find him already staring at you, with one look you could tell that he means what he said, and that it's what makes you give in, you nod your head a couple of times and bend over the mixing table again, taking a deep breath and clutching at the border of his keyboard, you gain the courage to ask for what you want.

"Take me Namjoon, I want to be yours" You try to sound as sensual as you can but you don't think it worked giving how much your voice was trembling, but Namjoon savored each word that you just said, silly girl, of course you'll do anything to please him, and now that he knows he's going to be the first man to claim you, he's sure now that he won't let any other man taint you the same way he's going to.

Coating his fingers with the remains of your previous orgasm, he starts by stretching you by inserting a single finger inside, your walls almost instantly gripping his finger tight as you let out a loud moan, look at yourself, being such a good whore for him, he's going to reward you for being so good for him but right now the only thing on his mind is fucking you, so he quickly sets up his peace and starts to finger you, adding another finger inside and having his palm rub directly onto your clit, knowing that with your inexperience, this would probably be enough for you to cum once more.

You couldn't even try to hold in your screams, everything felt like it was too much but also felt like it wasn't enough, you couldn't understand if you needed him to stop or to go even faster, his long fingers pumping into you and reaching all the right places, making you moan and close your eyes in pleasure, at this point you didn't even know your own name, the only thing you knew is that when he plugged a third finger inside of you, you were not going to last any longer.

"Oh god! Namjoon, please-I, please" You couldn't even form a sentence, you wanted to tell him how desperate you were to cum, yet words came out of your mouth like a bunch of gibberish, you reach out to grip his arm and Namjoon was thrilled watching you struggle, the effect he has on you it's almost comical to him.

"It's alright baby, I know what you're trying to say," His other hand reaches out to roughly grab onto your breast and you're right there, needing that extra push to finally let go, and his next words are the push that make you climax "Cum on my fingers like the good girl I know you are".

You felt like your soul left your body, if the first orgasm felt good, this one was heavenly, waves of pleasure rolling through your body in ways you couldn't describe, Namjoon stops his ministration but doesn't pull his fingers out, relishing how your release is coating his fingers as you're panting for air, he delivers a series of kisses into the back of your neck and lets you take several breaths before letting go of your body for a brief moment, you're about to ask him why he's pulling away but then you hear the sound of his pants drop into the floor, he rubs your lower back as he reaches for the condom, you look over your shoulder to find him ripping the package open and when noticing you having your eyes on him, he smirks as he rolls up the condom onto his length, you gulp as you're reminded that everything about Namjoon is huge, he doesn't take his eyes off of you as he finally positions himself behind you and rubs your hips as a form of reassurance, you smile at him and try to lift your hips a bit more, slightly rubbing your cunt against his cock, Namjoon hisses and spanks your ass after that, you let out whimper and his hands grip onto your hips.

"Dirty girl, I'm trying to be nice to you and here you are, rubbing yourself all over me” His hand rubs your ass as he drags his cock up and down your opening, teasing you as he barely pushes in before backing out, repeating the action until he finally pushes in, filling you to the hilt, you whimper at the unfamiliar feeling and Namjoon shushes you at the sound “Sorry baby, does it hurt too much?” His voice flatters and you think he’s also having a tough time by containing himself like this, his struggle making you feel better.

“Doesn’t hurt, just feels weird” You weren’t lying, while Namjoon was on the bigger side, you were also wet enough and stretched for him, you only needed a couple of minutes before saying “You can move now.”

It only took him a moment before grabbing your hips tightly and started to rapidly thrust into you, his actions making you grip the table for dear life as his movements quickly became all too much, with each snap of his hips, your body sunk into too a much deeper pleasure, your breast starting to bounce at the same time his hips slammed into your ass, you couldn’t control the screams that left your mouth with all the pleasure you were experiencing now.

“Namjoon, fuck-baby” You don’t even understand what you’re saying, especially as Namjoon’s hands leave your hips as one of them reaches out for your throat and the other one reaches out for your clit, his fingers making fast circular motions that make you grip on his wrist, you have no force left to stop him from overstimulating you, you’re forced to take everything he gives you.

“It’s alright my love, cum for me, cum on my cock like the dirty slut you are” His degrading words only make you wetter, your legs shake and your body spams uncontrollably as you cum, your tight walls making it impossible to Namjoon to hold his own orgasm in, he comes hard clutches you tightly into his arms, slowly thrusting into you until his cock turns soft, only then he pulls out from you.

He looks down only to be greeted by the sight of your wet cunt, both of your thighs covered in a deep crimson shade, Namjoon chuckles darkly at this, he takes out the condom and discards it into the trash can before taking you in his arms, bringing you to lay down on his large dark sofa with him, you’re too far gone to notice his sinister smile as he looks into the top right corner of his studio, where the faint sight of a red blinking dot can be seen only for those who look for it, and Namjoon knew exactly where to look.

He was after all, the person that set it right there.

The first time you stepped into the Bangtan building, you expected to be stared at, nobody knew who you were and being a stranger to them you couldn’t expect them to not be curious about you, plus, the stares started decreasing after they found out who you were and why you were there all of the sudden, but right now, the back of your head was burning with the amount of people looking shamelessly at you, and it wasn’t just the fact they were all staring, it was the fact that their looks were full of hatred, they were looking down at you and you don’t have a single clue of why would they do that, you’ve never been mean to any of the staff, you start to overthink in the middle of the hallway before you realize the reason why they could be staring, shit, do they know what happened last night between you and Namjoon? No, you quickly say to yourself, that’s impossible, no one else was in the floor when you and Namjoon got out of the studio until late hours of the night, he took you to his house, where you repeated what you did in his studio all over again in the late night, and in the early morning as well, but there still isn’t an explanation on why everyone had suddenly turned on you like this.

For the last month, walking into Namjoon’s studio always felt like you were coming into the place you belonged, a safe space where you could be free and be yourself around him, but today, it felt like you were walking into your death sentence, you didn’t want to believe everyone found out because of last night, that couldn’t be true, right? Maybe Namjoon told Sohee that you were together now, and she probably spread the word around the label, right? Namjoon would never betray your trust like this, right?

Wrong.

You don’t find Namjoon in his studio, instead, you find a laptop on top of his mixing table, the screen is turned off but the sound it’s making and the turn on button being lit up tells you that it’s on, you take a seat in your usual chair but the sticky note over the screen makes you want to snoop in a little bit.

“Here you go Hyung, and don’t worry about anything, it looks and sounds amazing ;)” What could it be? Namjoon didn’t say anything about working on anything else besides your EP, and he also said he wasn’t compromised with any projects right now, so you doubted this was about work, what could this be?, the curiosity got the best of you, so you move your fingers around the touchpad until the screen lit up.

You didn’t want to look into his stuff without permission, but you were so curious about what this could be. The screen showed a video player with no thumb nail on it, so you pressed play and waited for the video to show.

How badly you wish you didn’t do it.

The first thing you hear is a moan, your moan, it’s loud and it’s filthy, your eyes fill with tears as you realize what’s going on.

It’s a video from last night, and not only does the video show everything that happened last night, but your face is also very visible, the quality doesn’t let it up to speculation.

Namjoon recorded you having sex with him, and he made sure your face was visible on the entire video.

You’re too horrified watching the video play to notice the presence of that man behind you, you only notice after him getting close enough to catch his shadow onto the screen.

“Namjoon, what is this?” You could barely speak, air seemed to abandon your lungs after what you just watched, the most vulnerable and intimate moment in your life, captured on video like it meant nothing. You turn around to face him while Namjoon keeps a neutral expression despite your distress, the man you’ve come to know, and love was nowhere to be found, in his place was this mean and coldhearted man who doesn’t seem to realize how much he’s hurting you.

“What do you mean darling?” You don’t even realize you’re standing up and he’s in front of you now, his tone being so condescending that it makes you feel disgusted, he traps you into his arms and forced you to look at him in the eyes by harshly gripping your chin up, his mocking smirk breaking your heart when you realize that he doesn’t want to comfort you like he has done so many times before, right now, Namjoon is making fun of you “Don’t you like it? Because personally I loved it, it really captured how well you took me last night, how you were a good little slut just for me” A heart wrenching sob left your mouth and Namjoon tsk at you while shaking his head, his evil smirk doesn’t leave his face for a second “What’s the matter baby? You don’t like me calling you a slut? You didn’t seem to mind that nickname last night” He has the audacity to laugh at you and instinctively you begin to weakly try to break free from his hold, tears streaming down your face.

“How could you do this to me?! Fuck you!” Each time you try to get out of Namjoon’s tight hold and run as far as you could from him, his grip only became tighter, so tight that it started to hurt, you let out a pained whimper, but Namjoon didn’t seem to care at all, gripping your chin even harsher this time.

“And where do you think you’re going baby, huh?” You can’t stand his fucking tone anymore, you need to get out of here, now.

“You won’t get away with this, I’m going to tell everyone what you did!” You try to stay firm, but every time Namjoon laughs you seem to get smaller and smaller, his mocking tone making you feel dumb.

“Yeah baby? What exactly are you going to say?” He spins you so that you’re facing his laptop and keeps a tight grip on your waist with one hand as he presses play once more with his other hand, the lewd sounds from last night echoing his studio, making a new set of tears appear into your eyes, you closed your eyes while shaking your head, Namjoon grips you by the hair while forcing you to watch the awful video, you whimper as you are forced to relive what you thought was an intimate moment and you’re horrified realizing it’s anything but that. “You look pretty willing to me, in fact, if we go back to it you can even hear you begging for me” Another sob leaves your lips and Namjoon kisses your cheek after hearing your distress “Aw, don’t cry sweetheart, it’s not like you think, this wasn’t meant to hurt you” He tries to wipe your tears off but you swat his hand before it comes close to your face “Why are you so mad at this? I thought you would like it” You're in a daze right now, and his words only make you feel more confused. How could he think that you will like this? He invaded your privacy and betrayed your trust by unknowingly filming you in the most intimate moment of your life, Namjoon seems to sense your confusion and lets out a small cooing noise.

“Oh baby, you really don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this, don’t you? I had to make sure you didn’t chicken out on me, I can’t let you go that easy, not after waiting too long to have you” His words only confuse you even more and you’re left with more questions than with answers.

“How could you possibly met me before this?” Your voice was barely audible at this point, but you know he heard you just fine, your throat closing up even more when he laughs while not breaking eye contact, before all this mess, Namjoon’s presence was already intimidating, but right now is downright terrifying, you can feel your legs giving out when he comes closer to you, gently cradling your face in his hands, more tears rolling down your cheeks as he begins to speak again.

“Oh darling, you’ve always been so eager, so gullible” The confusion your feeling must be visible to him because he lets a small tsk whilst grabbing a small strand of your bangs to push it behind your ear, his playful tone doesn’t leave his voice.

“It was a mere casualty really, Hoseok asked me to come to the main Bangtan building after one of his rehearsals, but on my way to his practice room, I saw a group of trainees in the smallest dancing studio in the building, dancing to the same part of a song over and over again, most of them messing up every time, except for one” Your entire body freezes and you feel like you might collapse at any moment, this can’t be happening, this isn’t the way things should be going now “I knew from the moment I saw you were going to be a star, and when I started to find out more about you, let me just say I was delighted with what I learned” You need to run, you have to get out of here, but before you can even make a run for it, Namjoon holds you tightly into his arms before he says “I don’t think that’s a good idea baby, you don’t this video to end up in the wrong hands, do you?” Your eyes widen up in fear at the mere though and Namjoon has the audacity to laugh at this “My career will remain intact after this, it might even become good publicity for me, but yours? Oh darling, this will be your downfall, a trainee fucking her producer to assure her success, that’s just low” You violently shake your head at his words.

“That’s not true! That’s not what happened, and you know that!” You’re yelling but no matter how loud you yell, it doesn’t seem like he can hear you, he only brushes you off with an uninterested look.

“I know that darling, but other people don’t, I know you’re a hard working girl who’s fought to be in this position, but they won’t see it that way, if their looking at you like scum now just thinking that we might be dating, imagine how they’ll treat you when they found out you let me fuck you so easily” You can’t control the heartbreaking sob that comes out of your mouth, and Namjoon coos at your pathetic attempt to make him feel guilty, pushing your head into his chest as he embraces you in a hug “Oh but don’t cry baby, I won’t let that happen to you, your my little superstar aren’t you? As long as you stay with me, I’ll make all your dreams come true” His loving and caring tone doesn’t give you butterflies in your stomach anymore, it only makes you feel like you want to puke, and although his actions say otherwise, you’re left with the only option you have left: you believe him, what else can you do after all? No matter what you do, every choice will make you lose, but one will make you lose everything you’ve worked hard for, while the other will make you lose your dignity, and frankly, you don’t know which one is worst.

Namjoon continues to hug you, his hold feels like poison now, who you once considered the man of your dreams has become your biggest nightmare in the blink of an eye and there’s nothing you can do to get away from him now, he kisses you harshly, your tears coming in the way but he seems to be great at ignoring them, and as he deepens out the kiss, there’s only one thought that bitterly crosses through your mind.

You should’ve listened to your mother when you had the chance.

#TTIB series #yandere bts #bts series #yandere!namjoon x reader #yandere namjoon #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #kim namjoon x reader #bts fanfic #rm x reader #thats the industry baby #namjoon fanfiction

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dis0rderly-cl0wn-nerd · 1 year ago

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Just The Way You Are

Ledger!Joker x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Ledger Joker paired with a reader self conscious about their weight/body

Author’s Note: My first self shipping fic! I’ve never written anything like this before so I hope I did a good job. This subject is something I’ve struggled with for years and I’ve never seen it written about with J before so I thought I’d give it a go for all those struggling with the same thing. You are loved and you are beautiful. Enjoy! <3

As you got out of the shower, you inevitably saw yourself in the mirror and sighed. You hated your wide protruding body. The words fat and ugly echoed through your head. You hated yourself for allowing yourself to get so big. At least, in your mind, you were big. None of your friends saw you that way. You always thought they were lying.

You tried everything to change your eating habits and exercise but nothing worked. Eventually you just gave up. It was an endless cycle of self hate and disappointment.

You never talked to J about this. He knew you were self conscious about your body but he didn’t know its extent. He would flip out if he ever knew. You didn’t want him to worry so you kept it a secret.

You weren’t expecting J to come home for another few days so you felt in the clear to sit on the bathroom floor, wrapped in a towel, and cry. You had been doing this for years. Anytime you caught sight of yourself and the negative thoughts became too overwhelming, you fell apart and sobbed for what seemed like hours.

You were so deep into your thoughts that you didn’t hear the sound of your apartment window open and close.

J walked into the bedroom and took off his purple coat and his shoes. His plans had gone extremely well so he was able to come home early. He’d been craving some alone time with his bunny.

“Y/n? Ya here?”

J saw the bathroom light stream into the dark bedroom from under the door. He guessed you must’ve been in there. He was about to turn the doorknob but stopped when he heard crying. He hated to hear his bunny cry but he didn’t want to rush in because that might make it worse.

He waited a few moments and then turned the doorknob, opening the door slowly.

“Y/n, I’m home.” He said softly.

You jumped a mile.

“J! I wasn’t expecting you back so early.” You said cheerfully as you quickly wiped your eyes and threw on a shirt.

“Don’t try and play it off, doll. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, J. I’m fine.”

“I know when you’re lying. Why won’t ya tell me? I’m not gonna get upset.”

You buried your face in your arms. You wanted to tell him but you didn’t want to burden him.

J sat down beside you and waited patiently for you to answer.

You broke down.

“I just…I hate how fat I am!” You shouted.

J looked shocked.

“You’re not fat, y/n. You’re perfect.”

“Oh come on, J. You don’t have to lie to me. I can take it. I’ve been fat my whole life.”

“But you’re not. You’re stunning.”

You sniffled. “No. I’m fat and ugly. I’m overweight and unhealthy. I’m a troll.”

“No. You listen here, y/n, you’re not a troll. You are beautiful. How can you not see what I see?”

“I’ve had people tell me otherwise since I was a kid. It’s not like you would understand. I mean look at you. You’re gorgeous.”

J shook his head.

“Look at my face, bunny. People don’t like my looks either. That’s cause most people are quick to judge. Don’t listen to them. They’re stupid. Society has unrealistic beauty standards anyway. You are beautiful just the way you are. If you’re that concerned about your health, then I’ll help. We can diet and workout together. All ya had to do was ask.”

You were speechless. Nobody had ever been this understanding about your weight. Nobody had ever offered to help you either. Your sniffles quickly turned into happy tears.

“Aw, bunny. Don’t cry. C’mere.”

J wrapped his arms around you and you clung to his chest. He kissed the top of your head and you smiled brightly. You had missed his kisses. J scooped you up and carried you over to the bed. You nestled into the blankets. J soon followed you into bed and rested his head on your shoulder.

“You’re gorgeous. Don’t forget that.” He whispered softly.

#ledger joker x reader #ledger joker #the dark knight #heath ledger #my writing

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oatmealdaydreams · 11 months ago

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Roman Headcanons (A Rant)

I have Roman Sanders brainrot. So yeah, some headcanons I got. In list form.

You can thank these two -> @prodigal-explorer & @disneybrandautism

Warnings: discussion of gaslighting & manipulation & emotional abuse & victim-blaming & intrusive thoughts

90% of this is just from observations I made while watching canon.

[read below the cut]

My Roman Headcanons

autistic Roman w/ a Disney special interest (@disneybrandautism introduced me to this one)

Roman who happy stims by bouncing on his feet and jumping in place and flapping his hands

Roman who cannot keep still (always gotta be moving)

insecurities, so many things, can some pls hug him

touch-starved Roman

autistic Roman in general

has an overworking problem (based on him needing to be "perfect")

man has been gaslit so many times, dear lord

horrible perfectionism

feels like he's only good at being used but not even that anymore (think of SvS Redux and just how Janus has treated him the entire time)

often feels useless

works to an unhealthy degree for any ounce of praise and positive attention

keeps getting victim-blamed, so he believes no one will ever trust what he says or does no matter what

^also thinks it's all his fault most of the time, so he apologizes for a lot (that he shouldn't need to apologize for)

feels like he has no support so there's no use in "burdening" people with his problems

LOVES Beauty and The Beast and The Lion King

has a Disney-themed nightlight (fear of the dark, anyone?)

struggles with his own intrusive thoughts due to all his mistreatment and he doesn't even realize what they are for a long while

everything that being the Ego entails (is a bit fragile towards criticism)

being the Ego means he needs positive attention and praise but he's very deprived of that

lashes out in anger cause of the Others confusing him (see SvS Redux, basically)

as the Ego, he needs clear structure of right and wrong & in general, but he ain't getting that it seems

did I mentioned Touch-Starved Roman yet?

boyo feels a bit hopeless and unloved at this point

is one fierce protector of everyone he loves (even those who keep hurting him)

is held to insane expectations

selfless to an unhealthy point, me thinks

blames himself for a lot

may struggle with body dysmorphia sometimes

I cannot stop thinking about she/he Roman

is like a knight cause he just wants to keep everyone safe n stuff

actually pays attention to a lot, so he knows exactly how to make someone feel better on a bad day

will spoil those he loves at every chance he gets

apologizes when he makes a wrong and keeps his promises to do better

likes long skirts and big puff skirts cause it makes him feel like a royal <3

very much enjoys dualling his brother in the Imagination

love language is physical affection/Squish Me Into The Aether

has some fidget toys in his room, both for himself and if anyone visiting needs one

loves the f*ck out of his spinner ring (a lil fidget ring ya can spin on your finger)

Burnout, but sometimes can get literal

when there's a creative block or burnout, Roman's insecurities get hella amplified

talks with his hands

may also have a theatre/musical-based special interest and loves acting so much

Theatre Kid(tm)

would NOT be a popular kid in Highschool AU, but instead just an expressive but perfectionist theatre kid who's held to impossible standards

scared to speak his mind cause he always gets shut down for it (on some level)

values the Others very much, all for different reasons, but just really loves them

has a very big heart

naive and sometimes trusts too easily

good-natured banter that people don't always take well (they mistake it for insults, which he doesn't intend)

misses his brother actually

feels like he doesn't have anyone to turn to

loves movie nights, especially when it's Disney

will banter and bicker with Virgil and Remus and Logan as a love language

is a bit hesitant around Janus and Patton cause he's terrified of getting things wrong (yet again)

still very much cares about Janus, but feels so betrayed by him and Patton that it's very hard to be around the both of them

looked up to Patton but we saw how that went, didn't we?

is so Passionate and Lively with his writing!! loves it so much

Creativity but also Ego so he bases his worth on whatever praise his works bring/what he can do and produce for Thomas

^(makes me think that having his Creativity also be his Ego may mean c!Thomas feels his worth is based on whatever creative work he can produce? huh.)

has a dragon plushie (comfort item) that matches with one that Remus has, from when they were younger and closer

takes care of everything he owns to an almost perfectionist point, and same goes for those he loves

cares deeply about things

has a tendency to get emotionally attached to his creations and goes through an inexplainable grief when something gets ruined or lost or get a little "pooped on"

likes to paint his nails, has a signature look of red nails with gold crowns on them

polishes/sharpens his sword at night to help him think

insomniac cause Creative Drive is active at night

Loves Virgil and his protectiveness/mother hen tendencies, loves Remus for his never-ending ideas/inspiration (Creativity) and him always just being himself, love Patton for his big heart and ability to handle Emotions cause that's a lot of work, loves Logan for his intelligence and sharing a love for Crofter's and for when how animated he gets when he talks about something he likes, loves Janus for keeping everyone safe (even if he doesn't exactly like him rn) and how he can help people out of their own lies, and loves Thomas because he's their centre and he means everything to Roman

And lots more!! Roman has now taken over my Think Tank. I shan't ever escape.

#oat rants again #pls read the warnings #(hey roman stans - yeah you two that I tagged - you're the reason for this post. ffs i have brainrot now /lh)#sanders sides #sanders sides headcanons #headcanons #ts roman #tss roman #roman sanders #roman headcanons #the boi <3

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jensettermandu · 8 months ago

Note

Are there any fun facts about Jennie and y/n?

what i have in my head when i think of the two is;

first of all, y/n has two older brothers who she's very close to, they are her adoptive parent's biological sons. y/n is also very much a daddy's girl and gets called princess by him😭she's that type of girl ik. she also comes from a middle class family who has a lot of military bg (her both brothers and dad) She used to be an equestrian until she moved to L.A to study business. Her dream jobs used to be to either be a model or do something professional when it comes to horse riding. Her dream future is to move to Montana and live on a ranch cause she's enthralled by the lifestyle. Born to be a country girl, forced to be a city girl🤧😔. big animal lover🥰. she's also the type to have high standards when it comes to partners bc of the men in her life so i have no clue wtf went through her mind when she met jennie 💀. y/n was also the type of girl who thrived off of her popularity in high school and lived a cliché mean girl life with lisa and she cannot escape the mean attitude because her beauty has always perceived her and so she uses it as a shield to not get used by other people esp men who assume she can only be pretty but not smart at the same time when in reality she's lowkey a genius.

when it comes to jennie she comes from an upper class family🤭where everything had always been handed to her on a silver platter, she never struggled during her childhood when it came to money. her parent's are divorced though and she barely knows her father simply because he's a busy man, neither of them ever tried to fix it. i think she has a complex when it comes to her father and despite acting like she doesn't care she wants to prove that she's better than him by being richer and still having time to live a life even if it's an unhealthy lifestyle?? (things are just off in her poor head😭💀) oh and she's totally a mommy's lil girl with some attachment issues. she dropped out of college at 20 as she was too greedy for money and got her parents to invest in her. jennie practices boxing for fun and she's genuinely good at it and enjoys it. she used to be a nerd during her youth and was very invested in studying. an avid sports enjoyer and is always seen attending the big MMA fights as she gets shown on the big screen, she sponsors fighters and actually invested in a whole boxing school for kids😭🥰💕🤧 jennie is just too lost in her current lifestyle, but her dreams are quite the opposite and domestic. i think her dream future would be to have a family and someone who would love her until she would learn to love herself while living somewhere far from the noise so she can heal and enjoy a calm life while genuinely loving the ppl around. oh she's the type who would want three kids and defo at least one boy🥺. although she feels like those dreams are quite unlikely atm.

#jsmandu.inbox

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girldigital · 3 months ago

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Letters words and gibberish

Hi,

So I didn't get the job at The Barbican. I should be receiving the feedback soon which is kind of funny. It already feels like a lifetime ago that I had this interview.

Of course I was really sad not to get the gig. After all, it would look great on paper and I there's nothing I love more than things that look good on paper lol.

Part of me is also relieved in a way, just because I don't think London is the place for me long term and I don't need a job that's going to keep me here for longer than I intend to, even if sometimes the best things in life are the things you push away. I don't care that I might only be saying this to cope, as long as it's working!

I have two more interviews scheduled this month, which is quite impressive in this city...

One represents everything I've ever strived for (I could become a REAL video archivist??!!!) whereas the other, a little less, but their offices are based in New York. And who knows me knows I will forever have this glimmer of hope that I get to live there for a little bit, no matter how short.

No time to make false decisions though, as if there's one thing I've learned from being here is to never take things for granted. I am excited though, I cannot stay at this job (or flat!) any longer.

Speaking of, R and I are looking for a new place. It is weird that A, N and I (as in myself) won't live together but I genuinely feel like that's for the best.

I haven't gotten around to speaking about what happened in Spain. I mean, I did but that one had to stay in the drafts and will probably remain. Anyway, despite what felt like a resolution, things simply aren't the same and probably won't ever be again.

I'm looking forward to the new chapter though. It's a bit hard looking for two people, hence why I've also done my own solo research on the side and it's that's been so freeing. In a nice twist of fate, the last flat I messaged for myself also has 2 other rooms up for grabs so I am hoping I can pull what I did once before and secure two rooms.

Moving alone sounds fun, but having R by my side would definitely be a plus. I feel like we're too different to be hanging out all the time, so to live with her is the best way to maintain contact and she's someone I feel very lucky to have met in this city. I also definitely feel like she keeps me in check, even if she's younger. She's been so helpful lately too, hearing me out when I speak about what's on my mind and offering me support and food. She's truly a keeper. A fellow too-beautiful-and-good-for-men-perpetually-single girl...

Speaking of too-beautiful-and-good-for-men-perpetually-single girls...I am talking to someone again. I forgot I started talking about him by referring him as Aiden. It made sense back then, because he felt like such a retaliation against Big, but it's been so long now I'm happy to say he has become his own entity and I will therefore be referring to him as S.

This could go either way. I'm not going to deny that certain aspects are definitely a little wonky, but if there are no crazy surprises, I am feeling a hopeful. I always prefer the slow and steady path anyway. Even if this has exceeded my usual standards, part of me is also somewhat content that there seems to still be a continuous interest from both of our ends, even without the physical aspect. I get really put off by people who want me in a very overt way. Sure, some might say it's my own ridiculous unhealthy attachment to toxicity, but I don't think that's entirely the case. I do want to be wanted! I do want to be desired! But only by the one that I want and desire. Maybe I should become hijabi…

As someone who has only recently become sexually desired by men, it becomes freaky to see just how quickly you can be reduced to your physicality. While that is flattering, I from someone I am equally into and often , it takes a lot for me to care for someone in this way. It also can take time, and it's nice that I got to have it here.

Anyway, I don't know what astrology says about the month of August, but it seems to me like it's going to be one of many changes and I'm so happy for that.

New flat, new job, new romance maybe...It's like summer is finally starting.

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itskatsays · 2 years ago

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Pandemic Effect An advertisement by Belo Medical Group

The "Pandemic Effect" commercial from The Belo Medical Group went viral for its dated message. As described in the previous section, lockdown procedures have kept people inside their houses. Consequently, there has been a decline in physical activity, and many people now lead sedentary lifestyles (Amini et al., 2021; Zheng et al., 2022). Van Der Werf, E. T., Busch, M., Jong, M. C., and Hoenders, H. J. R (2021) conducted a study and a survey of all individuals who reported fewer hours of sleep, while 13.0% reported more. 20.0% said they snacked more now than before the COVID-19 outbreak, while 7.7% said they snacked less. In addition, Gonzalez (n.d.) claims that several factors, including stress, lessened sleep and physical activity, dietary adjustments, the use of masks, exposure to cleaning products, and straight face- and hand-washing, may result in skin problems throughout the quarantine period.

The Belo advertisement mentioned in the statement has been criticized for its predatory tone and for taking advantage of young, insecure individuals. The ad shows a woman undergoing physical changes during the pandemic, implying that Belo's skin treatments and plastic surgery solve the problem. However, this approach only fuels unattainable beauty standards society has set for people, especially women.

It is essential to understand that skin treatments and plastic surgery are not inherently wrong but must be done in a healthy state of mind. When people undergo these procedures because societal beauty standards pressure them or because they are insecure, it can lead to adverse outcomes, both physically and emotionally.

Furthermore, the advertisement manipulates people and preys on their insecurities, making it even more harmful. It is disconcerting when this is done during a pandemic when people are already dealing with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. It is insensitive and body shaming, and it does not empower individuals, which is why there has been widespread outrage on social media platforms.

The negative backlash that the advertisement received reflects how people feel about how beauty standards are perpetuated in society. Rather than promoting unhealthy and unrealistic beauty standards, it is crucial to encourage self-love and acceptance of one's unique qualities. Beauty should be inclusive and diverse, and advertisements should reflect that.

In conclusion, the Belo advertisement's predatory tone and manipulation of people's insecurities have been criticized for perpetuating unhealthy beauty standards. It is crucial to encourage self-love and acceptance rather than promoting unattainable beauty standards. Advertisements should reflect inclusivity and diversity rather than preying on people's insecurities to make a profit.

References :

Van Der Werf, E. T., Busch, M., Jong, M. C., & Hoenders, H. J. R. (2021). Lifestyle changes during the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic: a cross-sectional survey in the Netherlands. BMC Public Health, 21(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-021-11264-z

Amini, H., Habibi, S., Islamoglu, A. H., Isanejad, E., Uz, C., & Daniyari, H. (2021). COVID-19 pandemic-induced physical inactivity: the necessity of updating the Global Action https://doi.org/10.1186/s12199-021-00955-z

Gonzalez, N. (n.d.). What is causing your skin issues during Quarantine? The Health Center at Hudson Yards. https://www.healthcenterhudsonyards.com/quaranskin-what-is-causing-your- skin-issues-during-quarantine-and-how-to-prevent-them/

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milky-fixx · 2 years ago

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love bites + love handles

BLEACH; various characters x chubby!reader headcanons

ft. gin ichimaru, Izuru kira, shuhei hisagi, adult!toshiro hitsugaya

tw: 18+ not sfw. all charas are aged up. afab reader. mentions of internalized fatphobia, insecurity, in terms of gin specifically, unhealthy relationship dynamics? (sorry y/n ur man is toxic.) in izuru’s section- mommy kink,, uh lactation, death/dying kink?? idk what i have done lol.

gin ichimaru—;

He likes pet names that point out your chub and veer dangerously close to derogatory i.e. my lil’ swine, my plump dumplin.’ He means these affectionately—or at least as affectionate as he can get—but that doesn’t translate well with his permanent smile, his mocking tone. Even if they weren’t related to your size, surely his delivery would make you wonder if it was something more sinister than teasing. If you ever tell him so, he’s quick to rectify.

“Aw, don’t get yer panties in a knot~” he says, curling his arms around you, squeezing your middle. Another thing he loves doing. Drawing attention to your gut, even if it does make you flustered. “I’m only teasin’ ya.”

Canonically, he loves Rangiku, and while his eyes are almost always closed, he’s certainly not blind to her assets. He likes someone who can fill his arms generously, who he can sink his fangs into better—it gives him the impression that he owns you more fully.

If you’re ever down about your appearance—whether it be as a result of society’s unrealistic beauty standards, a piece of clothing that just won’t sit right on your figure, whatever—he’s awful at comfort. His nature is to antagonize rather than to soothe. But if you were having an especially bad day, and were ever to ask him if he likes your body, he’ll offer you a rare, genuine frown. “‘Course I like it. Why’d ya’ think I don’t?” If you were to persist, or even go down a spiral of why he shouldn’t, he’ll stop you, his icy gaze cutting through your words. “Not another peep outta ya.’” Before he distracts you. In Gin’s view, you can’t be lingering on certain topics once he’s teasing you again, right? But his teasing will have a little less bite this time, and lead its way to compliments that come across as more genuine than not.

Something Gin might do that confuses you is procuring skimpy clothes or lingerie for you, and leaving them out for you to wear. They’re often a size or two too small for you, and when you try them on, it’s nothing short of scandalous the way it squeezes into your flesh. It makes you wonder if he’s doing it intentionally, and don’t worry—he is. He’s a dick. His reasoning though, is that he’s quite enamored by the way straps look digging into your shoulders, or garters digging into your thighs, the way you spill out generously from a too-tight corset. He’s all simpering about it too, for instance, watching you parade around Hueco Mundo or Seireitei with a low-cut outfit that leaves your curves to no one’s imagination. In his defense, he can play the role of the “concerned,” “protective" lover in public if you get flustered, dragging you back home by the waist as he tells you, “Ya’ silly thing, why’d ya’ even go out wearing tha’ kinda stuff? Ya’ know what a sight ya’ are?” Hmm, I wonder why. At some point, you can’t trust his choices, and you have to hide your clothes from his alterations.

During sex, he likes having you on top so he can see your softer parts jiggle. He also enjoys seeing his fingerprints left on your skin, and is quite enamored with the marks tight clothing leaves on you. He may or may not pinch your fat rolls. He’s awful. You should break up with him, Y/N. If only the crazy dick wasn’t also good.

izuru kira— ;

Izuru thinks the world is a harsh and unforgiving place. The exact opposite of you and your body, and thus you become a sanctuary of sorts for him. He’s reverent—your entire body is as soft as a pillow, and he’s in desperate need of coddling from the world. What’s not to love?

Izuru especially likes running his hand along the dips and curves of your body when you’re bared before him, likening it to nature, the divine, his muse. And with him sweetly murmuring how you must have been spun from the gods’ silken hands themselves, how can you feel anything but beautiful?

Insecurities are undoubtedly a part of anyone with a body’s experience though, and if you’re ever particularly down about your appearance, Izuru is aghast. He assumes he’s at fault for making his muse think they’re unappreciated. He’ll show you some of his more, ahem, embarrassing haikus about you. If you want, he’ll even give you a mini performance, replete with his flushed cheeks, his gaze nervously darting to yours to gauge your reaction. Writing poems about you in secret is one thing, but having to perform them in front of you? If he didn’t love you so much, he thinks he could die of the embarrassment.

He accepts that there are things you’ll always dislike about yourself. If he were to list his own shortcomings, it would run miles. Izuru always lives in some kind of self-hating despair, but you—you’re his light. He hopes that by showing you how much he adores your body, you'll also come around to it.

If you’re ever pregnant and/or lactating, Izuru would love to suck on your breasts. Mommy kink confirmed. Even if the topic of trying for a baby baby has just been breached, you’ll sometimes catch him staring longingly at your breasts, before catching your eye and coughing, acting like he’s not. He’s mortified to admit just how... arousing he finds the thought of potential changes to your body.

Speaking of kinks, dying and other morbid things is something Izuru muses about often, but when it comes to you, something about these thoughts turns almost naughty. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but he thinks about being suffocated by your chest, or to suffocate with his face buried in your folds, your thighs caging his head. Sometimes these thoughts get him hard—dying is inevitable, and is a constant presence in a Shinigami’s life, but the thought of dying while wrapped up in your loved one? It’s somehow hot. Izuru is a bit too shy to mention these thoughts to you...

shuhei hisagi— ;

If you’re chubby, Shuhei finds the experience of going down on you even hotter. He’ll get nosebleeds at the thought of your thighs squeezing his head, his nose pressed into your slick folds until he can barely breathe, his hands coming up to grip your thighs as he groans at the give of them. Certified sub status.

Speaking of thighs, he loves to fuck them. Something about the thought is just hot—him squeezing your thighs together, his voice husky as he tells you to keep them clenched tight for him... good, just like that. Especially so if the head of his dick peeks through between them. He can literally cum from just that, his breath hitching at the sight of his seed streaked across them. It just makes him want to lick them even more.

Shuhei also kinda—don’t let him know you’re onto him—but when he’s really stressed from Seireitei Weekly deadlines, from his lieutenant duties, from seeming to run everything on his own? If you two are sitting on the couch together, he’ll just bury his face in your chest. It becomes a habit, and once he’s gotten over his hesitation, he’ll ask you for the boob pillow. Sometimes, when he’s so tense from everything, he’ll complain this way only, into your chest where it’s muffled and he doesn’t feel quite as much of a whiner and all he can think about is how soft you feel around him. You rubbing your hand through his head and listening to him complain is a nice touch.

He really likes hitting it from the back, where he can watch your plush ass bounce when his hips meet it. Also you on top, so he can see ever part of you.

His favorite part about you is how soft you are. Your tits pressing against his chest when he hugs you, the way he can dig into the softest parts of your thighs.

He would love it if you ever asked him to pick your outfits for the day, or week. He may not look it, but sometimes he sees a cool jacket or top that he thinks would love great on you, but he doesn’t wanna come across as weird and tell you how to dress. But he’d jump at the opportunity. Surprisingly his eye for fashion is pretty good, and he loves to get you punk outfits that compliment his.

toshiro hitsugaya— ;

He is traumatized from Rangiku’s boob smush. That being said, he does his best to ignore said assets from anyone, even if they are noticeable.

To be honest, it doesn’t really register to Toshiro that you being fat is something you should worry or be insecure about. If you mention it, he’ll blink and be like, “Yes. Your point being?” Truly, he thinks that appearances shouldn’t matter. He’s quite defensive about it, considering how people used to judge for looking too young for a captain.

If you ever mention being insecure, he’s conflicted. He wants to tell you that you’re perfect to him and you have nothing to worry about. But at the same time, he can’t quite bring himself to admit that. Toshiro’s tendency for bluntness and raw honesty is quite clumsy when it comes to declarations of affection. So he settles for showing you instead--with a fierce kiss, his arm tugging you forward

“Don’t be stupid,” he says sternly. “You’re per--fine just the way you are.”

He does try to show you how much you mean to him. Perhaps by upping the physical affection, which is a huge deal for Mr. Frigid and Icy. He’ll initiate hugs from behind, even in public.

If you continue to be insecure, he suggests--and he means this with no ill intention--some guides and strategies for self-love and shit. He finds it cheesy but he really wants to help you, while also not wanting to coddle you? He’s definitely had to look up research guides to relationships before, so he figures that’s a place to start.

As an adult, he’s pretty lean, so he also appreciates the size difference. Toshiro doesn’t treat you differently, hauling you onto his lap in those rare moments when he’s tired from paperwork and wants a pick-me-up, and has stopped giving a damn about decorum. But just picture grumpy Toshiro, nuzzling into your chest, asking for “Five more minutes,” because the feel of being wrapped around is much better than his hand cramping from all the papers he’s had to sign off of.

Ah. I’m loving the idea of Toshiro with a fuller boo and doing cute domestic shit. You feeding him curry you made while he hugs you from behind and complains that it’s too spicy (it’s not; he just has a piss-poor tolerance for spice). Napping with Toshiro on the couch on his day off and he cracks an eye open, a small smile curling his lips at the sight of you as he wraps an arm around you. Toshiro glowering at you when he’s in the rare mood for affection and you keep darting out of his grasp, until he pins you against the counter and steals a kiss from you while grumbling, “Finally.”

Rangiku thinks you’re the cutest couple, and definitely does her best to catch you two in the act of doing, what she deems, “cute couple activities.” More than once she’s walked in on you sitting in Toshiro’s lap, not even doing anything spicy, but just playing with his hair. It’s cute. She has totally taken blackmail pics. In her defense, her taicho never looks that soft with just anyone.

Body worship is big in the bedroom. Toshiro’s cold lips trailing your skin, his gaze heated. He may not be the best with words of affirmation, but he’s content to show you like this how much you mean to him.

#bleach x reader #hisagi x reader #toshiro x reader #izuru x reader #gin x reader #bleach headcanons #bleach smut #not sfw #bleach thots #tati writes #repost from my old blog

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namjooningelsewhere · 3 years ago

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Overdue!!

💭Rating - 18+

💭Genre - Angst, Fluff(Mostly Flashbacks) idol au,

💭Warnings - Not literal Infidelity, but they are on the verge of it. Mentions of alcohol abuse, Mentions of Self harm. (There are no heavy triggers, only slight mentions of it.) The warnings are limited to the first few chapters. It gets better i promise)

💭Summary - Love is indeed a beautiful feeling, but does not come without its obstacles. When your 7 loving, idol boyfriends think it’s better to date someone within the industry or like they put it "Someone who knows their world", you have no choice but to accept their abrupt decision. Time goes by and you think you're doing just fine, One long lost dream, One given up identity and one drunk mistake and a few clicks is all it takes until the limelight falls on you and living your life behind a camera is an option no longer available.

💭Taglist - @miriamxsworld @sanjiroo @renhold-nightspear @taeshuworld @thequeen-kat

💭Social Media Profiles - Y/N and her crew.

💭Social Media Profiles - The Boys

💭Chapter - #1A - Not Literally

💭Chapter - #1B - Not Enough

💭Chapter - #2A - Intend to keep

💭Chapter - #2B - One Month Later

💭Chapter - #3A - Nothing But The Truth

💭Chapter - #3B - Bitter

💭Social Media Profiles - Ha-eun and Emiko

💭Chapter - #4A(Part1) - Appreciated

💭Chapter - #4A(Part2) - Lies, More Lies!!

💭Chapter - #4B - Damage Control?

💭Chapter - #5A - A Subtle Reminder

💭Chapter - #5B - Diamonds And Stones

💭Chapter - #6A - Bubbles

💭Chapter - #6B - The Aftermath

💭Chapter - #7A - Royally Fucked

💭Chapter - #7B - Shoo Away / Get lost

💭Chapter - #8A - Spill It Tae

💭Chapter - #8B - The Duality Tho!!

💭Chapter - #9A - Safe Sides

💭Chapter - #9B - Transitions?

💭Chapter - #10A - Missed You!!

💭Chapter - #10B - The Superstar League

💭Chapter - #11A - Desperate Enough!!

💭Chapter - #11B - How deep?

💭Chapter - #12A - The IT Woman

💭Chapter - #12B - Happy and Proud

💭Chapter - #13A - This Time Forever

💭Chapter - #13B - Not As Smart As you Think

💭Chapter - #13C - Leave My Best Friend Alone

💭Chapter - #14 - We Can Use A Break

💭Chapter - #15 - Just Another Day

💭Chapter - #16A - You Know Me Like Me

💭Chpater - #16B - How Many And Why?

💭Chapter - #17A - One Last Time

💭Chapter - #17B - Doing Right / Feeling Wrong

🎇Where It Started

💭Chapter - #18A - Communication Error

💭Chapter - #18B - Tired!!

💭Chapter - #19A - Raincheck?

💭Chapter - #19B- No Fun

💭Chapter - #20A- Jealous Or Not Jealous?

💭Chapter - #20B - Figuring the Logistics

💭Chapter - #21A - Something Important!!!

💭Chapter - #21B - Unhealthy!

💭Chapter - #21C - Its Complicated.....

💭Chapter - #22A - Kicked Out

💭Chapter -#22B - Apology Not Accepted

💭Chapter -#23A - A Package Deal

💭Chapter -#23B - Double Standards

💭Chapter - #24A - Hit Your Head?

💭Chapter - #24B - No More Sulking

💭Chapter - #25A - Coffee Orders And Advice

💭Chapter - #25B - How To Fake A Heart Attack?

💭Chapter - #26A - Swooping In

💭Chapter - #26B - I Promise

💭Chapter- #27A- Incomplete Goodbyes

💭Chapter- #27B- Big Time!!

💭Chapter- #28A- She was Waiting

💭Chapter - #28B- Big Issues

💭Chapter - #29A - Why So Pissed?

💭Chapter- #29B- Who's She?

💭Chapter- #30A- Assumptions

💭Chapter- #30B- Honey Trap

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sugoi-and-spice · 2 years ago

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Chapter Eleven - Game Over

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x Fem!Reader, (3rd Person)

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI

Summary: Tomura Shigaraki was her dad's boss's son. He was the creep that stole girls' underwear and tried to grope her in his room. But it's not like he could get her Dad fired just because she wouldn't sleep with him, right? ...right?

CW: Quirkless!AU, Explicit Smut, Dub-Con, Coercion, Blackmail, Cheating, Sexual Guilt, Humiliation, Unhealthy Relationships, Virginity Kink, Groping, Power Play, Hate to Love, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Animal Death

A/N: Slightly early update this week cause I'm going on my Honeymoon!! (Which was delayed by four months because my husband and I got Covid at the wedding -_-). Didn't want to leave ya'll with that cliffhanger for three weeks, haha. Enjoy!

Read Full Chapter on AO3

[excerpt]

It was a well-known fact among his peers that Tomura Shigaraki hated just about everything.

He hated this city. He hated his school. He hated the other students that had seen his freshman representative address and last name and immediately tried to buddy up with him. He hated even more how quickly they gave up on him.

He hated the way people looked at him, with disgust and warriness. Like he was the scum of the earth. He hated when people didn’t look at him.

Like he wasn’t worth their time.

He hated himself. Hated the scars and scabs that permanently gnarled his skin and how, most days, he couldn’t clearly remember how they got there. He hated the nightmares that often kept him awake for days at a time. That no amount of prazosin and antidepressants could get rid of.

He hated the path that was currently laid out for him and hated even more how much he still wanted to follow it.

To follow him .

He hated the Doctor. He hated Kurogiri. He tolerated Iguchi. He really hated Dabi.

And he hated Mirio. More and more he was realizing how much he hated Mirio Togata. It used to be the standard baseline of hatred he held for all of the beautiful, popular people that dared to live their lives without a care in the world. But that hatred now was starting to become painfully personal.

She made it personal.

At one point he’d hated her like that too. More so even. At least the Mirios of the world were stupid enough to just genuinely be that happy and optimistic, to have that much faith in the goodness of the world.

But he’d seen her truth. He’d seen the genuine exhaustion and misanthropy in her eyes when she thought nobody was looking. He’d seen the cynical kindred spirit within her. And then he’d seen her ditzy, popular girl mask pulled back on tight as soon as someone else looked her way. And suddenly he hated her more than anyone. Not only was she a self-righteous little high school hero, but she was a fake one. A stuck-up bitch that no doubt thought she was better than him because she actually managed to keep her bitterness with the world under wraps — could shove it under the rug as quickly and easily as it took her to reapply her lip gloss.

She’d only proven him right the day she knocked on his bedroom door. Her disgust with him had been palpable. She didn’t even try to hide it the second she was alone with him. He hadn’t been worthy of that same mask that the adults had been, not anywhere close. She was looking down on him the way she and her gossipy little clique always had.

And he wanted to destroy her for that.

Then she turned out to be a virgin. And it made everything a thousand times better. Not only did he get to conquer a paragon of everything he hated — and of everything that hated him — but he got to completely and utterly ruin her. For the rest of her wonderful, fake little life, she would have to look back and remember him as her first. She’d never be able to pretend anything was perfect again. He would always be that dark, undeniable stain in her life. And at the very least, from herself, she’d never be able to hide that hatred again. He couldn’t have bought a better personal revenge.

…

But then she’d held him.

Came for him.

Asked him for help.

She had reached for him. Clung to his sleeve and silently begged him not to leave. Grabbed his hand and pulled him to an oasis. Taught him. Trusted him.

And even smiled at him.

Being on the receiving end of that had felt better than he could’ve ever imagined. He didn’t know when it happened, but all of a sudden, Shigaraki was acutely aware that when it came to her, he wasn’t feeling hatred anymore. Nothing close to it. He couldn’t put a name to the feeling, not as he was feeling it anyway.

In retrospect, he would come to recognize that feeling as stupidity.

Continue on AO3

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bibbykins · 4 years ago

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What Love Looks Like (M)

A/N: Oh man, this is longer than I intended lmao. I initially wasn't going to include smut but I caved anyway, so please enjoy! The semester just wrapped up for me so now all I have going on is seeing whether or not I can buy a house, so hopefully, I'll have more time to write? Also note: the "love" in this while called love does by no means mean it is healthy, or a healthy relationship. This is still a soft yan fic! On that note, tipping is not required but extremely appreciated and pls give me your thoughts and any questions in my ask box! Have a wonderful day/night!

NOTE: This is part of The Household's Bunny series, so I would recommend reading the other parts prior to this!

Pairing: Soft yandere! OT7 (Yoongi focused in this fic) x Chubby/ Camgirl! Reader

Summary: The concept of loving someone and someone loving you in return had remained nothing short of a dream that was far beyond your reach. You never thought you could find something you had no reference for, but sometimes things lost or unknown can find you instead. Sometimes it finds you in the form of a text that wasn't meant to be sent.

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: 18+, body shaming(done by reader's mom in the past not by anyone currently), mommy issues, beauty standards, low self-esteem, toxic relationship, unhealthy relationship, possessive and obsessive thoughts, self-doubt, daddy kink, fingering, cunnilingus, penetrative sex, office sex, desk sex, reader is a cam girl, spit kink, daddy kink, dumbification, cumming inside, reader just needs love tbh

Words can never fully encompass the sweet feeling of going to sleep and waking up in the arms of someone who feels the same about you. With Taehyung, it had been tear-filled and emotional whereas, with Namjoon, it had been sensual and intense. However, he meant it just as much as he carried you to his bed and laid with you, only after making sure it was okay as if he hadn’t just consensually made you fall apart on his thigh. He kissed you softly and whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you listened to his slowing heartbeat while sleep overtook the both of you.

Now, as you laid in his bed alone, you wished you hadn’t encouraged him to get the rest of his work done.

You had heard him in the other room bickering with Taehyung about another project they have. They had pushed up a meeting and you had encouraged Namjoon to do the responsible adult thing instead of spending the day in bed with you. His kiss was tender, longing, and domestic. He told you you were more than welcome to stay in his room any time, which brought a smile to your face since his sheets smelled like him.

Sometimes you wished you were a bit more selfish at times like these. You were alone on Namjoon’s floor, playing the demo you had neglected. This time, you weren't clouded by salacious thoughts, and could gush over how excited you were about the upcoming game. You watched the credits roll by and when Yoongi's company name rolled by you sighed, looking down at your phone before shaking your head. You really didn't want to bother him while he's in the middle of overseeing the making of this undoubtedly long game.

Instead, you opted for playing a drama. You watched with envious eyes as the couple embraced and basked in their newfound love of one another. Yet, you couldn't help but take note of their physique, a habit from your mother that you had been desperately trying to shake. Your mother had always told you that's what love looked like. Her constant lamenting of the difference between beautiful girls that deserve love and then people that looked like you stuck was a leech to your self-esteem. It would be easy to shake off if those weren't the only memories you had of her. Memories of seeing what "love looks like" and consoling her in a quiet voice.

You couldn't blame your mom fully, it's easy to think that's what love looks like. A skinny man with a skinny woman, a bulky man with a skinny woman. A skinny woman. You see it everywhere, and eventually, you start to believe it. You're happy for the skinny woman, but sad you may never be able to find a love that looks like hers. Sad, that you don't know what love looks like outside of this stupid rectangular box that makes you feel too big to be in there and experience it. Could you ever know what love looks like if that's your only reference?

You begin to feel the bile of loneliness plague your mind and your phone case catches in the light. You finally caved, typing out an encouraging message to the stoic man you hadn't properly seen in weeks. You sent him a few messages, gushing about the game you loved and not-so-slyly mentioning that you miss him. You smiled to yourself, proud you messaged him in spite of your self-conscious thoughts.

You took a celebratory breath as you sent the final message and noticed him typing immediately. You supposed you caught him at a good time and when the message appeared, time froze.

"I love you too, baby."

Love… you?

He said he loves you?

You frantically responded to him, genuinely questioning if you read that right.

Next thing you knew you were hurriedly making your way to your floor to change. You opted to save time and wear the dress you were before, you just needed proper underwear, forgoing tights, and hoping the chaffing wouldn’t be too bad.

Not having a chance to think twice about how you looked, you ran out the door. If Yoongi was going to say words like that, you had to make sure it wasn't a mistake before even thinking of emotionally processing it. You couldn't handle the embarrassment of getting your hopes up, of believing any of them could love you if even a shred of it wasn't true.

----

Yoongi paced back and forth as his phone nearly shook off of his desk and the man pressed his eyes closed. How could he be so dumb? How could he be so thoughtless?

He was a calculated man. He had to be. From birth, he was calculating every move he could possibly make. From foster home to foster home all the way to getting adopted, he had restrained acting on impulse. It was survival, it was what got him here.

Then he met you.

You were everything he ever wanted and never knew he needed. He never thought he'd properly see you again but you were all

moved in and he initially figured he would mind his business and leave you alone and vice versa, beyond becoming a paying customer to your content. However, you were just so… warm.

------------------

"Yoongi, right?" He jumped at the feminine voice that greeted him at the crack of dawn. He heard you giggle as his gaze fell on your form. You wore a rose pink slip that fell to the top of your thigh and complimented curves as you leaned against the counter with a small smile on your face, which was notably decorated with makeup, “Sorry, I got up early to film and I’m still waiting for the caffeine to kick in.” He nodded politely, ready to grab some coffee, and retreat back to his floor to work, “So, what are you doing up so early?” You asked and he found himself invited in by your genuine interest.

“I work before work most days.” He explained, pouring himself some coffee before leaning across from you on the counter.

“Sounds like you have a mean boss, very demanding.” You pouted and he couldn’t help the smile that crept to his face.

He hummed in agreement before speaking, “I am my boss.” He teased but your face turned smug.

“I know.” You grinned, “I said what I said.”

He gaped as you took a sip of your coffee, “Well what about your boss, making you get up at hours like these?” He tsked and your laugh was utterly melodic.

You hummed in mock agreement as he did, “And look at what they have me wearing, talk about an HR nightmare.” You took another sip of your coffee before grimacing, “And they force me to drink coffee.” You scrunched your face as you set the cup down, “It’s insanity.” You whined.

He gazed at the mug and was met with the lightest brown he had ever seen in a coffee mug, “Is it coffee or is it milk with a drop of coffee?” He teased and you stuck your tongue out at him, “Why don’t you get creative and add syrup or blend it?” He asked and you shrugged, “You know, whatever you coffee haters do.” He added with a sly glint in his eyes and you gasped in mock offense.

-----

The morning talks with Yoongi had become a regular occurrence. It would vary on who brewed the pot first, but what would remain the same is the counter you both would lean on. In the first months of you living with them, he had learned a lot about you and, surprising both of you, vice versa. One of the first things he had come to learn about you was that you had no idea how to make coffee taste good. You had told him your go-to move was to keep the milk flowing until you weren’t near tears with each sip.

“So you’re telling me, I could have been putting chocolate in my coffee this whole time?!” You were sell shocked when he handed you the drink with chocolate drizzle and you didn’t shudder at the bitter taste you were used to, “Wow, I have so much to learn.” You mused, making him chuckle.

You knew nothing about coffee, and Yoongi was intrigued by it, so days would come where he woke up just a bit earlier to make you different types of drinks. So far, the caramel macchiato and the iced mocha had been your favorites, but everything changed when he took you to a coffee shop and ordered you a frappucino. You gushed about the drink for ten minutes, thanking the barista each chance you got and nothing felt sweeter than watching you giddy about liking a form of coffee.

During these coffee dates, as you would call them much to Yoongi’s delight, you both would chat about anything and everything. You told him about your degree and he told you about his work. Sometimes he would ask you for advice as a fan of his company’s games, and each time, it was like he struck gold. You were creative, this much he already knew, and extremely articulate when it came to a topic you put a great deal of thought in. You even began asking for his advice in your work since he was also a loyal subscriber. You both had formed a certain bond that bloomed under the dim sky and flourished in coffee-fueled conversation

You were patient, kind, attentive, and caring. There were days when you would switch out the coffee for decaf, having a rebuttal to each argument he had to justify his caffeine addiction. He was calculated, but you could see the flaws in his formulas. You made him feel more human than he had felt in a long time. Being human to him meant being weak, scared, and unsure, but you made humanity feel almost as beautiful as you were. You flourished in your humanity, warming his cold and hardened exterior with your smile or fearlessness in admitting you didn’t know the answer to things. You were unabashedly vulnerable and he wondered if you were the thing he had been working towards when struggling to survive in the foster care system. Your smile made every painful memory feel like nothing other than a piece of his journey to you.

You cried when he told you about his time in the system before he was adopted at 17, and he panicked when he saw your lip trembling, “Hey now, it’s okay, I survived, bunny.” He spoke softly, unsure how to console you or help.

What he didn’t expect was for you to throw your arms around him and squeeze him into a hug, “I’m just so happy our paths were able to cross in spite of all we had to do to get here.” You breathed into his neck as you sniffled, “I spent a lot of my time wishing I was worthy enough for my mom to stay, come back, or even just contact me, but I don’t feel that constant need to prove myself worthy around you like you just think I’m enough as is.” You held him close in spite of the stretching you do across the counter and his arms encircled your waist.

“You’re more than enough, bunny.” He murmured as you cried, “I’m not going anywhere.” He made sure to add as his anger flared at the thought of your mother, at the thought of anyone meeting you and seeing anything but perfection. Although, you were better off without them. He just wished they hadn’t left a decimated self-esteem and sense of worth in the wake of their mistreatment of you.

You eventually opened up about the details of your mother’s departure from your life, and it took everything in him not to track her down and make sure she’s miserable. Even hearing about Jungyoon’s apathy towards you was enough to make him want to call Mona and tell her all about the man she held in such high regard. However, he remained focused on you, clinging to every word you spoke, “But I find that whenever I think about her, I no longer want her to come back.” You smiled a bit, “I like where I am and who I’m with just fine.” Your gaze landed on his form and your smile only grew in tandem with his.

After he and Jin had “did you a favor” he had been worried you would be scared to be around him, but if anything, it only made your encounters better. This time, you kissed him good morning and goodbye as he went to work. You would stand next to him instead of across the counter, leaning your weight on him or clinging to him sleepily as he made your coffee. It was domestic and tender, “If you’re so tired, then why are you up?” He asked on one occasion as he handed you an iced mocha.

You took it from him lazily, mumbling thanks before giving him a peck on the lips, “Because I wanna see you, silly.” You yawned, missing the gummy smile you gushed about each time you saw it. You wanted to see him. He was giddy as he guided you to the couch. He sat down, inviting you to sit in his lap as he turned on the TV for background noise, “Don’t blame me if your thigh falls asleep.” You giggled as he brought you onto his lap, enjoying how your plump figure felt against him, relishing in the intimacy.

“It would be an honor for my body to be directly affected by you, m’lady.” He cooed and you stuck your tongue out at him, “So… you want to see me so bad you wake up at the crack of dawn?” He teased and realization flashed across your features as you realized your tired confession. Sensing you were going to try and get up, he tightened his hold on you before whispering, “I like spending time with you too.” He kissed your cheek and just like that, you relaxed against his body with a warm smile.

----

It had been a long while since he had been able to spend his mornings with you since the release for the game was steadily approaching. Each morning still he sent you a good morning text and would have your coffee for you in the fridge.

This longing for him only made your haste that much more needed as you looked up different ways to get to his office.

You opted to take the bus, not wanting to go through the psychological warfare that was getting your car to turn on. The trip was short and half of you was thankful while the other half internally begged for the driver to go around the block a few times. Nevertheless, you walked briskly, not giving yourself a chance to turn around.

By the time you wanted to turn around and forget the whole thing, you were faced with a shining smile from an equally shining receptionist, “Hi, is there something I could help you with?” Her brown hair was perfectly slicked back and her makeup was done beautifully, subtle, just like her stylish yet cool business casual outfit. It was at that moment you realized you were dressed closer to a 1950’s housewife than a stylish college student. She looked you up and down and her smile only grew, “You look so cute!” She gushed and let out a squeal when you smiled shyly, “I just want to keep you in my pocket!” She fawned over you, much to your surprise.

“Thank you!” You chirped with a shy smile, “I, uh, don’t usually leave the house looking this eccentric.” You chuckled and she shook her head.

“Is it because you’d be so captivating?” She hummed and you nearly choked on your spit. Goodness, she was charming. You were stunned silent as she reached over to brush a piece of hair behind your ear, “Don’t tell me you’re here to see your boyfriend.” She pouted and you gaped at her. Is she… flirting with you? You never had a stranger just decide to flirt with you. You felt your face heat up as her tender touches made you increasingly shy but also so very flattered, “Or is it a girlfriend?” She raised a brow, “Both?”

You shook your head, “N-Neither.” You breathed and her smile grew.

“Soyeon, stop flirting with the women that-” Another feminine voice snapped you from your trance as you turned to see an equally beautiful woman looking at you with wide eyes. She had platinum blonde hair that flowed and was similarly stylish to Soyeon, “Oh my gosh, y-you’re bunnyboop!” She squealed.

Soyeon’s eyes widened, “You totally are!”

Your eyes widened also. It wasn’t terribly often you got recognized. People were almost always respectful, but it was still a surprise, “Oh, you guys are fans?”

“All the girls in the office are huge fans-” Soyeon stopped herself, “Outside of work we discuss this, of course, in case HR is lurking anywhere.” She peered around her desk as the blond woman stuck out her hand.

“I’m Ji Miyoung, a lead developer here.” Her hand trembled slightly in yours, “C-Can I have a photo with you?” Before you could answer she waved her hands frantically, “It’s okay if not, I understand if you want your privacy and-”

“Sure!” You beamed at her as her smile grew, “It’s super flattering to meet such pretty fans.” The squeals from both ladies continued as they took photos with you.

Eventually, a small crowd of people of all genders in the office gathered. Everyone was very polite… and flustered as they introduced themselves to you. The last time you drew this big of a crowd was at a convention meant for cam girls. It was a little funny to think all of these coworkers were so comfortable admitting what porn they paid for, but they were all so nice you couldn’t complain. They were all pleasantly mindful of boundaries and you figured it was because they were all around your age, since the impolite fans you had meant were usually much older men.

You took photos, completely distracted from the issue at hand until you heard a firm, “What is going on?” From a deep voice you recognized. The staff stiffened into uneasy smiles as the crowd slowly dissipated.

“Ah, M-Mr. Min, good afternoon.” A nervous laugh came from a man who had just been brought to tears when you touched his hand.

“Junyoung, wh- are you… crying?” He squeaked at the question and went on your tiptoes to see Yoongi sharply looking at his employee.

“Not anymore, no sir.” His voice cracked and you fought a giggle with the rest of the nervous staff.

“Hi, Yoongs!” Your small voice made the CEO look up quickly as he made out your eyes while the rest of his employees gaped at you, “I almost forgot I was here to see you.” You giggled, “Everyone here is so nice, so I got distracted.”

Yoongi didn’t have the time nor the energy to unpack the HR nightmare that was his employees huddling around and gushing over their favorite cam girl on the clock, especially when you were in his office looking like his wife bringing him lunch he forgot at home. His heart soared as you gave him a smile, and he was able to forget why you were most likely here in the first place.

“Are you dating him?” Soyeon asked in a failed hushed voice, forgetting she asked if you were seeing a significant other just ten minutes ago.

You paused before shaking your head, “He’s-”

“Baby, do you want to let them get back to work and we can go up to my office?” The pet name made your cheeks heat all over again as the crowd quickly dispersed and the employees gulped at the thought of lusting after their boss’s girlfriend.

You nodded and began walking to him, waving meekly at the employees before Yoong took your hand in his as he led you into the elevator. He didn’t let go of your hand when the doors closed, if anything he held it tighter. The ride to the top of the skyscraper was silent and you tried to organize your thoughts to no avail.

It was hard to focus on his confession of love while he held your hand tightly and yet softly stroking his thumb against yours. Despite his tenderness, he was eerily quiet and you couldn’t figure out why. Could he be trying to organize his thoughts about the confession? Did he even know he typed it out? Could the words he says to you be that thoughtless to him?

No…right?

When was the last time someone told you they loved you?

The question placed a heavy weight on your shoulders until you couldn’t take it and your head was cast down. A better question would be when was the last time told you they loved you and meant it. You shut your eyes for a moment, trying to search through your brain and coming up woefully short. It was a pattern of lies and ulterior motivations. It was a pattern of putting enough love into the relationship for the both of you as if that made up for the lack of reciprocation. Is the word that meaningless now? Or is it that meaningless when it comes to you? Are other people really the problem if you’re the only one that gets hurt in the end?

The elevator dinged, making you jump from your thoughts as Yoongi led you into his office hand in hand. He remained avoiding eye contact but spoke anyway, “I would ask to what do I owe the pleasure, but I think I know why you’re here.” His voice was low and soft in a way you had seldom heard from him. You opened your mouth to speak, but closed it again when you realized you didn’t know what to say. He stopped walking and stepped in front of you to meet your eyes, “Part of me really wanted to take the cowards route, but you don’t deserve a coward.” His words felt like a boa constricting around your chest, having a feeling of what he meant, you spoke up.

“I can just forget it happened if that’s what you want me to do.” You looked to him and tried to search for a hint of confirmation, “You don’t have to pretend you mean it in hopes you will one day. I promise, you won’t, and then I’ll really get hurt.” You said this as if you weren’t already hurt like you didn’t expect more from Yoongi. You looked down as you spoke, scoffing at the difference between your pink socks with white pumps and his black dress pants with matching shoes, “You don’t have to love me just because you said it-.”

“No, baby, don’t ever accept that.” He spoke so resolutely you had no choice but to hold his gaze as he took both of your hands in his, staring at the skin-to-skin contact, “I want to say that what I sent was a mistake.” He said and it felt like a punch to the gut.

Right. It was a mistake. It would be a mistake to love someone like you. Suddenly you felt the embarrassment of getting your hopes up creeping into your skin, beginning at the fingertips touching his skin as you looked down at them. He squeezed your hands, catching your attention.

“But that would be a tasteless and cruel lie.” He heaved a sigh and you finally looked at his face again. You searched his eyes for deceit and found nothing but vulnerability, “Did I mean to say it to you right then, over text of all places? No.” He heaved a self-pitying laugh, “But that doesn’t mean it’s not how I feel.”

“You… you mean that you…” You choked on your words and felt pressure behind your eyes as you shook your head.

He took your face in his hands, pleading silently for you to look at him and when you did his gaze remained soft yet determined, “I love you.” He struggled to say it, but you could tell it wasn’t forced. You have heard forced confessions before, and this wasn’t one of them, “I know, usually dating comes first, which is why I think I’m an idiot for taking this grand confession away from you, because you deserve to feel like how lucky you make me feel when you just smile in my direction, and instead I just texted it to you after not being able to see your face for over a week and…” He paused his rambling as he felt tears hit his hands on your cheeks, “Bunny, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I know you deserve so much more than me and-”

“I love you too.” Your voice was broken but your heart wasn’t as you cried uncontrollably, “I love you and I don’t get how I know, but fuck,” You breathed shakily, “It feels so right to say it because you’re so great and kind. I didn’t know I was capable of deserving even a fraction of the compassion and you all have given me and…” Your speech was hindered by your cries as you pushed forward to hug him close. Your arms went around his neck and his arms wrapped around your waist, “I’m so scared you guys will get tired of me.” You cried harder, finally letting out all the pain of watching the door close while you remained onto the shoulder of his suit.

Yoongi wanted to ask why on Earth you would think getting tired of you was an option. However, he was worried he wouldn’t be able to hold his temper if you confirmed his suspicions of people using you and then leaving you. Instead, he focused on holding you as close as humanly possible while you cried. He would be here all night if that’s what you needed. It was evident that no one granted you the same courtesy in your life before them, and he would spend forever making up for it if that’s what you wanted.

He hummed a soothing tune as he held you close to him. This was the second time in your life someone has held you while you cried and some things never get old. The feeling of not being judged as you fall apart. The feeling of him holding you together while you fall apart was priceless. It was one of the aspects of love you could never properly describe.

“You don’t have to worry about things like that, baby.” He spoke in a gentle voice, “Loving you is the furthest thing from tiring.” He mused and you could feel yourself beginning to calm down, “I’m so woefully enchanted by you, I almost forgot the whole day just from seeing you in that dress.” He chuckled with you.

“You and your staff.” You giggled and heard his laughter cease, “They were really dazzled by me, I got about a million date offers I didn’t even have time to consider.” You kept giggling at the idea but stopped when you realized he squeezed you tighter and had stopped laughing.

“Would it be wrong to fire my staff for coming on to you?” He murmured into your hair and you could tell he was on half-joking.

You smacked his back lightly, “Yes, it would be wrong because it doesn’t matter if they were coming on to me when I’m up here and we’re literally professing our love to each other.” Your voice had a teasing lilt to it but the notion of you also professing your love to him, made him relax against your touch some more, “Plus, that would be a good chunk of my income down the drain.” You chortled and Yoongi clicked his tongue.

“I can make up the difference.” He joked, although he very well could, but you shook your head.

“It’s not their fault I’m so hot.” You snickered and he hummed in agreement before you added, “Isn’t it a little funny you’ve been getting VIP access to their favorite cam girl?”

This made him snort a bit, “Yeah, I’m living the life with someone as lovely as you reciprocating my feelings.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you sighed blissfully.

It was easy to believe love occurred in spaces you couldn’t fit until it came to you. Until he looked at you like the man looks at a skinny woman in dramas. Until you realized that your love may never look what your mother thought being skinny would be, but it'll feel much more real, much more gratifying. It'll feel just as beautiful as it does in the dramas, and you'll look just as beautiful, at least to someone.

You thought for a moment before sighing, “I need to fix my face before I kiss you.” You snorted, muffled by the fabric of his suit jacket.

“You don’t need to do anything.” He pulled back and you squeaked, wanting to hide your face but he caught your cheeks in his palms again as he looked at you in a way that took your breath away, “I love you as is.” His words came out as a promise and you smiled shyly before he pulled you into a slow and sweet kiss, as if he were signing a contract to love you as long as you would allow him to. And maybe, for even longer than that.

It were times like these you wish you could call your mom and tell her that love takes many forms. That love doesn’t look like a skinny woman in a rectangular box made of pixels. That love can gaze upon you even though you take up more space.

He kissed you, wanting to take the pain of your past from you and onto him. He wanted so badly to ask for names so he could get to work. So he could break them as they put jagged cracks in your self-esteem. Because you weren’t broken. No, not to him. You were too precious to break at the will of trash. Trash he would end the moment he got his hands on their information, information of what they valued most in their life, information on how to rip that away from them.

However, he couldn’t shift his focus from your delicate form as you pulled apart from the kiss, forehead leaning on his before placing another kiss on his lips, “And I love you as is.” You reciprocated and he smiled, wondering how it is he got so lucky.

--------------

You hummed gleefully hours later as you sat in Yoongi’s lap, watching him work and not understanding a thing that was going on. What you did understand, however, was how nice it was to have this man peppering kisses into your neck and on your face every now and then. That was his form of taking a break as he clicked away at things, covering your eyes each time a spoiler for the new Zombie Undertaking games was on the screen, enjoying the laughs that provoked from you each time he did.

Yoongi was similarly on cloud nine as you leaned against him on your phone responding to messages in the same way he was responding to emails. He didn’t want to let you go and you also didn’t want to leave after the tearful exchange of feelings so you spent the day working with him. Bliss couldn’t even begin to describe the feeling as he burrowed his head into your neck for the nth time in the hour placing kissing all over the soft skin, but this time you let out a soft moan and his mouth landed on a certain spot.

He grunted into your neck before his mouth latched onto the spot, making your back arch, “Yoongi.” You whined, only spurring him on further as his tongue dragged against the fresh hickey, making you move to clench your thighs together, but he caught your thighs with his hands, keeping them spread as you whimpered, “But your work.” You spoke weakly, making him chuckle darkly as his hands caressed your thighs, eyes trained on the way your thick thighs looked in his hands.

He squeezed the plump skin and groaned, “But you’re so pretty, my love.” His voice was silky smooth as for the second time in this dress, you watched masculine hands push up the hem.

You preened at the pet name, “You’re not playing fair.” Your huff quickly broke into a breathy moan as he cupped your sex.

He hummed in delight, “Fuck, you’re so wet.” He groaned into your neck, mouth moving to hover over your ear while his fingers outlined your slit over your underwear, “You’re practically leaking he crooned. You gasped when his finger rubbed circles over your clothed slit. Your fingers dug into his arms as you bit your lip, trying not to moan but wanting to beg him to touch you directly, “Everyone’s gone home and this floor is on mine, so if you try to suppress your pretty little moans, I’ll just play with you like this all night.” His voice was low and you whimpered.

“No, please, touch me.” You begged lightly and he kissed your neck again, making you wiggle your hips, “Please, please, wanna feel your fingers inside of me.” You begged, shy inhibitions long gone, proving it with the loud moan that escaped your mouth when his hand went underneath your panties and his finger played with your bare clit, “Yes, yes!” You gasped.

“Namjoon made you cum not that long ago, and yet you’re still leaking on my hand.” He nipped your neck lightly, making you cry out further when his finger sunk into you as he groaned, “You’re so fucking wet, baby, you’re insatiable, aren’t you?” He teased as he slowly fucked you with his finger, smacking your thigh each time you tried to move your hips, “Are you going to cum already?” His voice was degrading but only made you squeeze around his fingers.

“Yes, daddy.” You nodded and he laughed heartily.

“No, you’re not.” He deadpanned as he took his fingers from you, making you mewl desperately. He licked your juices from his fingers while you threw a fit in his lap, “Lay on the desk, my love.” He commanded and you did as you were told, cunt empty and begging for release. You scrambled to lay down on the, thankfully, sturdy desk. His look of appreciation as you pulled your dress up to expose your cunt satisfied your submissive brain, “What a good girl I have.” He praised, making you smile giddily while he pocketed your underwear. He took a moment to appreciate your form and bare pussy being presented to him on his work desk, a fantasy he never expected to come to fruition. His hand spread the lips of your sex before he leaned down to gather your juices on his tongue as he slowly dragged the appendage up to your clit. You moaned sinfully as the sensation.

“Fuck, fuck.” Your high-pitched moans only spurred him on as his tongue worshiped your sex, exploring the parts he had dreamed about since the first time he tasted you. He made out with your soaking cunt before he began flicking his tongue across your clit, enjoying the way you twitched with each time his stiffened muscle passed over the sensitive bud, “Daddy.” You moaned, making him groan into your pussy, the vibrations making your thighs shake.

Yoongi released your clit with a lewd pop as he let one finger tease the outside of your drenched hole, “Do you have any idea how sexy you are?” He murmured as he pressed a peck to your clit, “How fucking hot it is to have you sprawled out on my desk in a pretty little dress with my face between your thick thighs?” One hand went to squish the skin of your left thigh and you keened at the exalting of your form. He dove back in, finger going inside at the same time his tongue reached your clit again.

The rush of sensations made your back arch off the desk as you clutched the hem of your dress, fighting the urge to grind into his face and grip his hair, “I’m gonna-”

“No, you’re not.” He kissed your clit before his fingers stilled as you wailed at the loss of your building high. You wiggled in frustration as you could feel your orgasm waning away. He laughed darkly as you begged and pleaded, whining incessantly.

“I wanna cum, daddy, please, please-” You whined and was cut off with another finger slipping inside of you.

“What happened to my obedient baby girl that asked to cum?” He mused and you whimpered, having completely forgotten to ask in the excitement of it all. He feigned thought before he took his fingers from you, sucking the juices off yet again but this time, holding eye contact. His gaze was dark, yet there was a clear passionate fire behind them as he hovered over you, forearms on either side of your head while his stern gaze softened, “You really want to cum, baby?”

You nodded emphatically, “Yes, yes, I wanna cum for you so bad.” You blubbered, lips pouting. He mocked your whine before leaning down to capture your lips in a deep kiss. Your tongue took the initiative to mingle with his as your arms wrapped around his waist. You moaned softly as he deepened the kiss, his tongue circling your as his head bobbed ever so slightly as you both made out. Your legs wrapped around him, making him hum into your mouth, “Fuck me.” You mumbled against his soft lips, “Please.” You added and he growled, unsure if he wanted your first time together to be on his desk, “I wanna feel you inside of me.” You whimpered and that was enough to make his resolve snap.

He nodded, pulling from your mouth, “Okay, baby, I’ll let you cum on my cock.” He relented as he unbuckled his belt and pulling down his pants in haste as he pumped his hardened cock a few times.

“Your dick is so pretty.” You spoke with a sensual lilt, “Want you to fill me up.” You proclaimed and that was all the encouragement he needed to slide into you. You both moaned as he bottomed out.

“You’re so tight, my love.” He sighed, falling onto his forearms over you to give you a sweet kiss before he stood straight again, hands going to your hips as your walls fluttered around him. He watched the area where the two of you were connected with a pleased gaze, and he couldn’t help the lovestruck smile that landed on his face. He could truly stay like this forever.

Your hands grabbed his wrists, catching his attention. The lovelorn look he gave you caught you off guard but made your heart soar, “Y-You can move.” You gave him a small reassuring smile, “You can fuck me dumb.” You purred but the sultry look on your face was quickly replaced to a pilant one of ecstasy when he pulled out of you only to slam back in.

He fucked into you at a fairly quick pace, but he made sure to fuck into you as deep as he possibly could. The feeling of being completely filled by him made your eyes roll back each time he pressed into you. You were quickly reduced to desperate moans as he fucked you into oblivion, shaking the desk as he let all of his pent-up desire for you run free, “How do you feel, baby?” He crooned.

“Ah… good… daddy-I-” You gasped out, words nearly incomprehensible as he pounded into you, “I-I love you-” He gripped your face in his hand, squishing your cheeks as he looked down at you with a look of mock pity.

“My poor, dumb, baby.” He cooed, “You can’t even think straight already?” He asked in mock exasperation, “I’ve already fucked my girl dumb?” You nodded, making a pathetic noise of agreement with your mouth slightly open and tongue out as he licked at your pink muscle, making you moan further, “I love you too, baby.” He spoke tenderly before he gathered spit in his mouth and slowly let it dribble into your awaiting mouth. You swallowed it gleefully, making him growl and fuck you quicker, “Since you’re being such a good girl, you can cum.” He promised and your sex-fogged mind was abuzz in happiness.

“Thank you, daddy!” You sputtered and chanted over and over again along with, “I love you, I love you!” It was all you had left in your vocabulary as he fucked you harder and harder until your long-awaited orgasm came with a scream.

He nearly choked on his own spit when he felt your walls squeeze and flutter around him, “You feel so good squeezing around me like that, bunny- shit.” He grit out while his pace remained unforgiving.

“Cum inside me.” You begged as your orgasm racked through your body.

“Okay, baby-fuck- daddy will cum inside, hm?” He struggled to speak as you tightened around him and he found his high rather quickly as he came, fucking his cum into you while you milked him dry, “I love you too.” He breathed when he was finally done.

You leaned up weakly to kiss him and he took the hint, “Thank you.” You spoke weakly, before smiling wistfully, “I really do love you.” You were blissful as Yoongi cleaned the both of you up.

“I really love you, bunny.” He smiled unabashedly, “I’m not going to let anyone or anything hurt you anymore.” He promised but you had already fallen asleep.

Yoongi chuckled as he looked at your restful form. He was stricken with you, and there was nothing either of you could do about it. He loved you, and you would be his first and last love, that much he would make sure of. He called for his car to be pulled around and he lifted you gently. You hummed tiredly against him while he soothed you. You were his now, and it was only a matter of time before the other men in the house would make you theirs as well. In no time, you’ll belong to them as they already belong to you. The thought made him giddy as he carried you to his car.

Tip Jar

#yandere bts #soft yandere bts #bts smut #bts #yoongi smut #ot7 x reader #poly bts #poly bts au #yandere bts smut #soft yandere yoongi #yandere yoongi #min yoongi #bts fluff #yoongi fluff

934 notes · View notes

inkykeiji · 4 years ago

Text

you’re like a drug to me, a luxury, my sugar and gold

character: gojou satoru

genre: smut with a sprinkle of fluff at the end

notes: aaaaah first jjk fic ever!!!! uhhh this is honestly just pure smut and punishment, satoru is a Bad Daddy, and it’s set in a curseless AU | title cred: handclap by fitz and the tantrums

warnings: 18+ minors dni, dubcon/noncon, slight size difference/size kink, belly bulge, spanking with a belt, rough sex, minimal prep, minimal aftercare (at first), toxic and unhealthy relationship (satoru is mean n a bad daddy!), daddy kink/slightly implied ddlg dynamics, praise kink, dacryphilia

words: 3.1k

synopsis:

And although you can—and do—get away with a lot, you can’t get away with everything. A little brattiness he can handle, a little brattiness he thinks is cute. But on the days when you’re really misbehaving, purposefully (or not) breaking every rule, acting out and refusing to listen, rejecting any bargain or compromise with him at all—well, he’s only human.

And he snaps.

Gojou Satoru is a bad Daddy.

He’s a sweet Daddy, a silly Daddy, a Daddy who’s almost incapable of saying no. He’s a Daddy with a massive sweet tooth, a Daddy who frequently allows both of you to have dessert before dinner—sometimes dessert for dinner—and a Daddy who gives his princess nearly everything she desires, weak to your pretty pout and puppy-dog eyes and please, Daddy?’s. He hates to deny you, aches at the thought of you being even just a teensy bit displeased, because he wants his baby happy, always.

It’s his fault, really, you’re saying, insisting, when he calls you a spoiled brat. Because, honestly, it is; Satoru is entitled—he always has been, born with a not silver, not gold, but platinum spoon in his mouth—and his little princess is entitled, too.

Because he gives you anything and everything you ask for the moment the demand leaves your mouth, dotes on you hand and foot, absolutely adores you, lavishing you in the finest silks and prettiest lace, always indulging you just as much as he indulges himself—as much as he has always been indulged, growing up filthy rich.

Because you weren’t always like this; or, at least, you weren’t always this brash about it.

But years of getting exactly what you want, exactly when you want it, has forced your attitude to change, to shift.

You haven’t changed, Satoru tells you one day, a tub full of melty ice cream in his lap as he shovels another spoonful into your mouth, waning sun bathing the penthouse terrace in translucent gold and coral, brilliant colours reflected in his crystal eyes. “I didn’t do anything—I simply revealed your true nature,” A devious little smirk spreads across his lips, eyes glinting in an almost ominous nature, and you shiver. “You’ve always been a selfish materialistic brat, haven’t you?”

Well, you guess he has a point.

And he snaps.

It’s always something little, after a day full of disobedience, that does it, that finally lights the fuse and forces an explosion. Something that would normally be inconsequential, something he’d usually laugh off with a coo and a loving pat to your head.

Because you fought him on bedtime last night, then fought him on going to university this morning. You demanded pancakes for breakfast and when he denied them to you, because he’s got an important meeting in the afternoon and thus hasn’t the time to make them, you refused to eat anything at all—only to whine and bitch and complain about how starved you were for the entire duration of his conference. And yet, throughout it all, he was the perfect picture of patience, endlessly cool and nonchalant in his responses to your multiple tantrums.

Until you rushed into the kitchen in a famished frenzy, diving straight for the cookie jar and shoving three in your mouth.

“Sweets are not an appropriate dinner, baby,”

The words are sighed out in pure exasperation, his thumb and his forefinger pinching the bridge of his nose, lids shut tightly.

Eyebrows furrowing, you tilt your head in confusion, speaking around your mouthful. “Since when?”

His eyes snap open, blazing azure glaring at you with such an intensity it makes you flinch, cookie crumbs turning to ash in your mouth.

“Since forever,” he seethes, mask of impassivity finally beginning to break.

“What?” you laugh around the word, but it trembles. “What are you talking about? You rarely enforce that rule—especially since you don’t even follow it yourself!”

“It doesn’t matter,” he snaps, nostrils flaring with a particularly harsh exhale. “I am the boss, and what I say goes,”

“Daddy!” A sock-clad foot stomps against the marble floor as you whine out the word, arms crossing tightly over your chest. “That isn’t fair! You can’t just—”

“Enough with this attitude!” he snarls, moving like a crack of lighting as he lunges at you, lithe arms embracing you in an iron grip. “I can, and I will,”

And then he’s hauling you over his shoulder, one strong arm wrapped around you and pinning you draped over his body, delivering swift, harsh slaps to your ass every time you kick your feet or beat your fists against his back, while every whine and complaint earns you another spank in his mind, mentally tallying them up and vocalizing the thought a moment later.

“You’re being a meanie,”

“That’s twelve,” he growls.

“I don’t care!”

“Thirteen.”

“So what?”

“Fourteen.”

“That’s nothing,”

“Twenty-five.”

And that—that gets you to pause, but not to halt, not to stop, potent brattiness mixing with fury as it boils in your chest, the need to defy, to disobey, burning through your veins.

“I-I can handle that,”

“Thirty,” his voice is calm—serene, almost—and ice cold. There’s an underlying challenge sown into it, daring you to try him again, to utter another word. He’ll go higher, you can almost hear his apathetic voice floating through your mind; he’ll go as high as he needs to in order to teach such an ungrateful little brat a lesson.

Thirty it is.

The buckle of his favourite belt jingles as he undoes it, that dainty clink! forcing shivers to pebble across your naked skin, pressing your chest further into the foot of his bed, fingers curling in cashmere.

You’ve developed a love-hate relationship with that belt; it’s so fun when you get to undo it yourself, gentle fingers tugging and toying as you squirm eagerly in his lap, yet the clank and clattering of that heavy buckle as nimble fingers skillfully unfasten it and pull it from the loops of expensive trousers is almost menacing, carrying with it portentous threats it fully intends to see through.

He never warns you when the first strike is coming, reveling in the way your muscles are coiled in tension, in foreboding anticipation; basking in the surprised yelp that bubbles up in your throat.

“Relax,” he tells you with a callous chuckle, leather squealing between large, smooth hands as he folds it. “And count,”

It’s his usual response, predictable and scripted by this point, but he never seems to tire of it, notes of delight lacing his voice.

And that first blow never counts.

Gojou Satoru may be a bad Daddy by most standards, but his punishments are harsh, brutal, and cruel, and they happen to be one of the only things he takes seriously in life.

There’s rules to each of his punishments—so many rules he’s made you write them out multiple times, until your hand ached and fingers cramped and the heel of your palm was swollen, so they’d stick in that pretty empty little head of yours, so you never forget—and his spankings are no different.

You are not to move until he tells you to. You are not to speak unless spoken to. You are to count each lash, loud and clear before the next strike lands. Each mistake, each misstep and slip-up and refusal to comply, will earn you one extra slap. The tool is to be decided based on the severity of the offence.

The belt, all rigid rawhide and sharp edges, cuts into the supple flesh of your ass with each easy, nonchalant flick of his wrist, abrasively snapping against you.

Each collision of leather against flesh sears a tingly sting into your skin, biting rapidly rising welts into your ass and sending spiky jolts of agonizing pain bolting up your spine, the pain fading to a dull throb for just a moment before another blow is delivered.

“Gorgeous,” Satoru murmurs to himself halfway through your punishment, the word nothing more than a little huff of breath. You don’t dare respond, simply crying out the next number as he lands another harsh blow to your abused skin. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard a more beautiful sound, he continues, voice appearing faint and far away, mingling with the combined symphony of the crack of leather and pathetic whimpers muffled by sheets.

“It’s incredible,” he says, louder this time, voice dripping with wonderment, as if he can’t believe he’s created such a magnificent piece—the streaks of blood staining once perfect, unblemished skin; the high-pitched whines and sharp cries of each subsequent number; the resounding slap of the belt against your bare ass that evokes it all.

The whole thing sends a surge of intense power rushing through his veins, the tingling buzz it leaves behind enthralling and invigorating. You don’t need to look at him to know this, don’t need to see the way his eyes shine with it, the way his chest heaves with it, the way his entire body trembles with it—you can feel it in the atmosphere surrounding you, can feel the shift as his ego saturates the air, as his pure superiority bleeds into it, dense and suffocating, stimulating and revitalizing.

It infects your body, seeping in through your skin and flooding your veins, re-instills the need to be submissive, the ache to be good, providing you with the strength to endure.

The punishment lasts for forty-five excruciating minutes, accumulating a total of thirty three spanks—the extra three tacked onto your original punishment of thirty, one for each time you broke a rule. He’s on you in less than a second the moment it’s over, belt dropping to the rug-covered floor with a distinct thump as soft, eager palms roam your sweaty body, lips crushed against yours, still trembling as they spill pitiful whimpers into his mouth.

The luxurious bedroom—all cream and gold and drenched in sunlight—is blanketed by backhanded praises, warning you not to be a brat and just take what he gives. He’s sadistic when he gets in moods such as these, a feral glint in crystal eyes as large hands hastily flip you over—so fast it knocks a gasp of his name from your chest—seemingly unconcerned about the fresh blood oozing from the thin swollen welts that embellish your ass staining his thousand dollar sheets.

“Daddy needs you now,” he growls when you try to protest, breathing erratic as fingers flex on your hips, squeezing and kneading before pressing down hard, a silent order to stay fucking put. “And you’re going to be a good little girl for your Daddy now, aren’t you?”

Of course. Of course, because you are a good little girl, his good little girl.

But he’s a bad Daddy.

And, like a bad Daddy, he defers aftercare—it can wait, he practically snarls as he drags you to the edge of the bed, folding your legs up on either side of your body, knees nearly nudging your jaw; and foregoes prep almost entirely—two slender fingers slipping between your slick folds, prodding your hole and deeming you wet enough to take him.

And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t absolutely love it when he gets like this, when that façade of indifference finally shatters to pieces, replaced with desperation, with urgency, with neediness.

Your head lifts from the plush mattress, neck straining a little as you watch him push his trousers down his thighs through bleary eyes, residual dewdrops of tears clinging to spidery lashes. His cock bobs a little as he kicks the pants off, and it’s just as pretty as he is, smooth and symmetrical and perfect in every way.

“This would be part of your punishment,” he pants out, speaking over your cry of discomfort as he begins to shove his cock into you, little cunt aching as it attempts to accommodate the sudden intrusion. “If you didn’t love it so much, fucking slut,”

“Daddy!” The pet name claws its way up your throat in a yelp, hands scrabbling against his shoulders, nails digging into his flesh through his Armani button-up in an effort to steady yourself, eyes squeezing shut against the severe burn that accompanies the stretch. “Gonna—Gonna tear me in half,”

“You’d think you’d be used to this by now,” Satoru muses, voice already returning to its apathetic playful lilt now that he’s half buried in your cunt, breathing already calmed. A malicious little smirk decorates his lips and he observes you as if awestruck, one of his hands moving to trace the curve of your cheek, cold fingertips soft against your scalding skin.

“So beautiful like this,” he whispers as he finally bottoms out, hips pressed flush against the back of your thighs.

And you are, fresh tears that glitter the way his eyes do in the waning sun streaming down your cheeks, leaving the prettiest streaks of salt staining your flesh; lips swollen from merciless teeth sinking into them, an attempt to silence yourself, to keep those whines and complaints of Stop, Daddy! and Hurts, Daddy! safely stored in your throat.

Your little hole flutters around him, still struggling to adjust to his girth, and his head droops forward, long tongue unfurling from his mouth to lap at the bitter water adorning your face, slow languid strokes from your jaw to your bottom lashes, replacing shimmering tears with viscous saliva.

Saccharine sugar stings your nose, sticky toffee bathed in decadent chocolate and garnished with a touch of vanilla enveloping you in a sickly sweet embrace.

Such a scent—his scent—starkly opposes the vicious snapping of his hips, setting a merciless pace from the very start, blunt nails biting deep half-crescents into your flesh as they hold you in place.

But the pain only heightens the pleasure, contradicting sensations clashing together with every one of his brutal thrusts, cashmere feeling as rough as sandpaper against your raw, wounded ass. Thorns of pain pierce through your abdomen and shoot up your spine, back arching off the bed, and the muscles in your thighs flex and clench with every slam of his cockhead against your cervix.

It’s potent and intoxicating, a heady exhilaration clouding your brain and flooding your veins, and soon there are tears leaking from your eyes again, dribbling into your mouth and mixing with strings of drool that coat the words you’re babbling out.

Blood rushes in your ears, procuring a deafening ring, and you’re not even sure what you’re saying anymore, voice vibrating indistinctly in your chest as saliva soaked mewls ooze from your mouth. Your Daddy’s staring down at you, condescension etched into his pretty features, eyes morphing from dainty crystal to the navy of a tumultuous sea, framed by strands of cream and ivory dripping with sweat.

And he’s so big, too big, stuffing you full to the hilt with each ruthless piston of his hips, mattress trembling beneath you from the sheer strength; and it’s so much, too much, you swear you can feel him in your tummy, can see the way your lower abdomen cutely bulges in synchronization with every pounding thrust.

You must say it in some way, in some shape or some form, because the patronization varnishing his features melts away, sharp smirk dissolving into a genuine grin, blue eyes lightening with pure adoration.

“Such a good girl,” you think he’s saying, through it’s hard to tell when your eyelids keep drooping, hard to hear when a symphony of broken moans and hitched whimpers and the sharp slapping of skin against skin blanket the room, reverberating off the walls of your skull. “You’re such a good, good girl for me,”

Yes, Daddy, you want to say, such a good girl for you, only for you.

“Y-Yours,” you manage instead, locking your arms around his neck and clinging to him.

“Mine,” he growls, possessiveness lacquering his eyes, brilliant and bright and shining with devotion. “That’s right, mine,”

It only takes another three thrusts before you’re gushing all over his cock, the intense spasming of your cute little cunt drawing the prettiest whines from the back of his throat as he rams into you.

“Beg for it,” he demands, and although it’s an order, it comes out more like a plead, desperation sown into his voice. “Beg for Daddy’s cum,”

You obey immediately, words spilling from your lips without a second thought, automatic and instinctual. Please, Daddy, gimme your cum? Please, please, pretty please, want your cum, Daddy, fill my belly with it, Daddy, I need it, need it so bad, please?

He gives you what you want only a moment later, cock throbbing almost violently as he fills you with thick, scalding cream—so much that you’re sure it’s dribbling out of you, trickling down your ass and onto his pristine sheets—and you roll your hips up, attempting to milk him for more.

“G-Greedy,” he pants out, but there’s a dazzling smile slapped across his face, and so much love in his eyes it’s nearly overwhelming, a fresh wave of tears casting a gleaming shield across your own.

He notices immediately, both of you wincing a little as he pulls out, a wrecked little whine escaping your mouth.

“My poor little princess,” he’s saying as he untangles his briefs—Balenciaga, this time—from his trousers, abandoned in a heap on the hardwood.

“Daddy,” you rasp, a frown marring his face, fingers encircling your ankles as he helps you unfold your stiff legs.

“I know, I know,” he’s murmuring as gentle hands pull the soft clothing up your silky thighs. “It hurts, I know baby, Daddy’s gonna make it feel better now,”

A shiver courses through your body, and he tuts, nimble fingers making quick work of the buttons on his shirt, shrugging it off before he hoists you up and drapes it over your shoulders, tenderly threading your arms through the sleeves.

It’s cozy, and warm, infused with his scent—melted sugar and expensive cologne—and you snuggle into it, weak arms pulling the material tighter around your body, swathing it in comfort. Tears prick your eyes again, blearily blinking them clear as you glance up to find him backing away. A noise of indignance sounds in the back of your throat, eyebrows knitting together as you make grabby hands for him.

“I’ll be right back, princess,” he reassures you as he laces your fingers together and allows you to pull him back towards you, voice soothing like a lullaby. Fingers trail along the curve of your cheek then trace the line of your jaw, palms smoothing hair back from your face. “Daddy’s just going to go get the first aid kit so he can clean you up, okay?”

“‘N then food?”

He coos with a little chuckle, cupping your head as he tilts it up towards him, eyes overflowing with fondness.

“Yeah, baby, and then food. Whatever you want, it’s yours,”

Gojou Satoru may be a bad Daddy, but he is also your Daddy, and that makes him the best Daddy.

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