#unfortunately that makes this post *somewhat* less funny

[brin-bellway]

...oh god I did not realise that circular breathing is the name of a technique that actual humans can do

I thought they were talking about that thing birds do to get enough oxygen to fly

3 components of worldbuilding:

1. The author’s kinks

2. The author’s power fantasy

3. The author’s political agenda

Plot and logic optional

[pierozki]

as an uhhhhh “artist”. other peoples art makes me wanna kill myself no offence

[g-xix]

so like i know that you don’t really know AMP like that but can i get a fluffy oneshot for ray?? he’s genuinely so fine and funny and respectful so i just need something with him.

☁️Movie Nights | Rayasianboy_

Yeah sure I'll do a short lil drabble, im in the mood fo it

(post-writing grace wants to let it be known that it isn't short. u got 6.7k words here. enjoy.)

Movie nights at the AMP household happened about once every month. What with Duke living so far away and Kai always busy travelling or streaming - about every once a month when Duke stayed the night following a shoot, Kai wasn't too busy with Kevin Hart or some other celebrity chaotically livestreaming, and Agent, Fanum, Davis and Chris were present and available...

AMP movie night happened.

"We should watch a horror-!"

"are you crazy?! Put on a comedy or somethin'-"

"Just 'cus you're pussy doesn't mean we all wanna watch 21 Jump Street for the milli-a-billionth time-"

"I'm with Kai- it doesn't have to be 21 Jump Street- there's some new comedies on Netflix-"

It was always fun. The initial watch of Kai and Fanum arguing it out, Agent and Chris taking their respective sides whilst Davis watched and laughed - all petty debates quickly shut down when Duke just puts on a movie that everyone can agree on...

But the gang wasn't just confined to the AMP crew.

Everyone in the house was summoned when it was AMP house movie night. That included you, of course, as chef for the AMP house and Kai's cousin - he knew you were struggling to put your skills to use and find employment as a 17 year old needing money to support your side of the family as well as live your life. And having been close whilst you grew up, Kai wanted to help you out - hence he asked you to come and help cook at the AMP house and behind the set with the AMP shoots - promising accommodation at the house as well as a wage cut straight from all the money he earnt.

Whilst Kai was your blood relative, the rest of the boys became what you would consider family, also.

You could always play video game basketball with Agent on and off stream, or play little 1v1s on the actual court with Davis. You and Fanum had a special friendship considering he would sometimes just ask for a snack or lurk around the kitchen and have little bits and bobs whilst you cooked - hence there was a friendship that bloomed between you two, centred around food. And Chris and Duke were always interested in roping you into games starting petty wars in the house which you were always happily involved with.

You became the little sister to the AMP house, and this of course, meant that your presence was always necessary for a proper AMP house movie night.

Even if you annoyed everyone by threatening to lie or jump on top of someone.

Unfortunately for you, it seemed as though you were the only one in the house who liked touch. Not in an exclusively romantic or sexual way - no - just wanting to lean against someone or hold onto someone whilst watching movies. In an affirming way. Just for the sake of contact.

Unfortunately for you, being said, as nobody ever agreed with you.

It made sense; being seventeen and the only girl in the establishment, all of the boys made it quite clear that they weren't interested in any sort of contact - regardless of the chaste nature of it. The most you got was normally someone putting the arm around the back of the sofa, behind you - allowing you to somewhat lean against them, lean into their side.

Even Kai, your older cousin you'd grown up with, would disagree to even hugging you sometimes - given that he had always been less into physical contact.

Once, to start the movie night, Fanum had started shit stirring and making the both of you argue (unseriously) about Kai's lack of love or any physical contact. And that had ended with starting the movie an hour later, given that you and Kai began wrestling in the middle of the room (both cheered on by your respective sides), pushing and duelling one another with long polystyrene cylinders you'd randomly found behind a sofa.

There was always chaos and community to be found within your movie nights, and regardless of the movie chosen, or the boys' lack of contact with you... You always had fun.

"You seen Ray anywhere?" Kai ran into the kitchen, cameraman behind him wielding a camera which panned to you upon the question being asked. The fans knew of your existence as cook in the house and Kai's cousin, and despite the occasional shipping with other AMP members which was a bit odd considering your age was also public on your social media platforms - the fans seemed to be pretty chill and found you likeable too.

Kai slid his phone over so that you could see the chat also, knowing that you liked being able to know what people were saying whilst live.

"Which one's Ray?" You scrunched your brows together in confusion, wondering whether Kai had ever introduced you to a Ray before.

"I never introduced you to Ray??" Kai's own brows knitted together in confusion also, pausing his search to acknowledge that fact. You'd seen a thread on Twitter pointing out how similar yours and Kai's body language was having grown up so close, and found it cute that he mirrored your confusion with the same action of scrunching his brows together - a little smile lighting on your face as you shook your head, indicating that you hadn't in fact, met Ray.

Your smile was joined by a slight chuckle as you looked down at the chat on Kai's phone - watching as they flooded the screen with messages such as INTRODUCE HER TO RAY! and GET THEM TO MEET, expressing their intrinsic want for you to meet the enigmatic Ray.

"How long has he been here for?" You asked, checking up on the stove behind you as you asked the question.

"He been in and out the house for the last month or so - you ain't never seen him?" Kai re-questioned incredulously. "Taiwanese mf, like, this tall-" He stretched his arm out above him to exemplify the height. "-shitty haircut, lanky as hell...?"

"I've not seen a single person that isn't black inside this house, Kai." You shook your head to Kai's disappointment. "He been coming into the house for the last couple months though? How've I not seen him?!"

"Shit, I don't know either." Kai shrugged, setting himself on a barstool at the island. (idk what the amp house looks like i j hope there's barstool n a kitchen island) "Chat, you wanna see Ray meet my cousin?"

"Eurgh, I don't wanna meet someone for the first time on your stream, imma be awkward." You rolled your eyes, turning the hob off and stirring the cuisine within an adjacent pot on the stove. "We doing movie night tonight or is that next week?"

"Oh shit I forgot it's movie night tonight!" Kai exclaimed. "Chat, every month or somethin' we all watch a movie together - whole house and AMP gang - you tell 'em about it-"

Between yourself and Kai, the two of you managed to explain the concept of AMP movie nights to the chat whilst you plated up the rice and stroganoff, laughing and joking with the occasional threat of the wooden spoon - only to laugh whenever Kai flinched when you fake jumped at him with the wooden weapon.

"Go give those plates to Fanum and Davis," You gestured to the two plates on the table. "Duke, Chris and Agent can get theirs after they've played whatever basketball game they're playing... Does your Ray friend want a serving too, you think?"

"He can get a portion if he wants, I dunno," Kai shrugged the question away, picking up Davis' and Fanum's plate, awkwardly pulling his own plate of food between his arms and balancing it on his forearms. "Thanks girlie!"

"Yeah you welcome dawg," You mirrored his eccentric name-calling, chuckling as Kai gave his big bursting laugh as he walked out, cameraman following him.

The thought of Ray kept on your mind as you ate your portion, scrolling through your Twitter feed.

A random guy from another country you'd never seen had randomly joined your house? Without you even noticing...?? It felt a bit ironic, considering you spent most your time either in the living room or kitchen - both of which had a view of the front door and anyone who entered or exited the house...

Strange... You thought, chewing on the mushroom as you hard a distant yell of THANK YOU SWEETHEART from a room in the house, Bronx accent indicating it was likely Fanum shouting his gratitude to you for the food.

Switching from Twitter to Instagram, you looked at Kai's recent post - designer covering the boy from head to toe - the post from just 2 hours ago already decorated with several tens of thousands of likes. Quickly scrolling through the comments, you saw someone mention Ray - sparking an idea.

Clicking on Kai's profile, you clicked on the people Kai is following, typing Ray into the searchbar and looking through the profiles until you saw someone that matched the description Kai had given you.

Tall, Asian and not-as-shit-a-haircut as Kai had told you... You tapped on his recent post, one eyebrow quirking up at the subtle definition of his arms that showed with the white wife beater he wore. Clearly not as lanky as Kai had said, either.

You pulled the phone closer to your face as you scrolled onto the next picture, putting your fork down to zoom into Ray's face on the picture.

He had pretty features. Dark eyes and a cute lil smile...

You dropped your phone in shock, scrolling onto the next picture and seeing Ray without a top.

Your eyes widened as you withdrew yourself from your phone, staring into the distance and just grounding yourself for a second... Before picking your phone up again and bringing the phone close to your face to just...

admire.

Because damn was he good looking - broad chest and defined collarbones with subtle ab definition... You couldn't help yourself from zooming into the photo, eyes scouring the picture and just absorbing everything there was to see - marvelling at the pretty boy's posts just as-

"YO COUSIN-"

You quite literally jumped as the door opened, Duke's yell causing you to elicit a yelp as he ambled through the door with a wide grin and Agent trailing behind.

Your fingers fumbled, phone dropping from your hand and sliding across the table - just out of reach from you.

Duke laughed at your response, bending over and hand having to hold onto the kitchen tabletop to stabilise himself as he laughed at at the fear within your reaction - giving you a moment to reach out and grab your phone.... Realising that it had fallen face up with Ray's Instagram picture still on it's screen - your head snapping upwards and making horrifying eye contact with Agent, who had seen exactly what you'd been looking at on your phone.

"Fuck is you reacting like that for-" Duke guffawed, wiping at his eyes as he straightened up, getting poked in his arm by Agent. "What you doing that's got you all scared 'bout us for-"

"Why you looking at Ray's topless pictures?" Agent spilled with the fattest grin, his unfiltered honesty making you slap a hand over your face as you felt blood rushing to your cheeks at his brutal confession of your online snooping. And Duke was quick to snatch your phone from your hands following that - observing your phone screen despite your disputes and laughing as he saw the topless picture of Ray you'd been looking at on the Instagram profile.

"You thirstin' over Ray?" Duke's grin was astronomical as he asked it almost incredulously, holding the phone and pointing at the picture as if he couldn't believe it.

"What?! No- I don't know him - I've never even met him - why would I thirst over him...?" You rushed out, short fragmented sentences reflecting the panic that infiltrated your mind. "N-nothing wrong if I did though... Right?"

Agent and Duke collapsed against one another, bursting into a fit of laughter at your awkward confession.

"GUYS! Shut up! Apparently he's here in the house right now - I don't even like him! He's probably your old ass ages anyways - I don't know-"

"Girl he's your age, he's seventeen too," Duke cut you off, still donning his wide grin.

"Oh..." You felt a strange hope within the pit of your chest, your heart palpitating just a fraction quicker.

"Does that make you like him?" Agent quirked a brow and asked, handing your phone back to you yet continuing the interrogation nonetheless.

"I..." You trailed off as you thought about it.

For the past year or so you'd sort of forgotten or at least left all your crushes and romantic feelings behind - having devoted yourself to doing your job and helping with streams - all too caught up in Kai's influencer lifestyle.... And even when you'd found yourself initially with a micro-crush on Duke, you'd managed to quickly overcome it because of the age difference you knew was more than problematic.

But Ray being your age and literally being in the house with you?

That certainly changed your crush-thought-process.

"No way you crushing on Ray, that's wild," Agent smiled, less mockingly than Duke, as though he actually found it rather wholesome. Which would've made sense, given that Agent had a partner of his own and often expressed his happiness within having a girlfriend he loved.

"I don't know whether I have a crush," You were quick to shake your head though. "I don't know I don't know I don't know- I only found out about his existence like half an hour ago, Agent, I was just seeing who he was on Instagram..."

"Do you like who he is?" Duke interjected his question. "From what you've seen...?"

"I mean..." You found yourself trailing off again. "I don't know, he's cute and all but... Gosh, it's impossible to really know, isn't it? I mean, I've just seen a few pictures of him-"

"-And you like that shirtless pic of him don't you-"

You stared with a stony expression as Duke and Agent collapsed into a fit of giggles at their supposed witty comment.

"God, it feels weird talking to you two about anything to do with... boys."

"Yeah, weird knowing that's your type." Duke added on, making you facepalm.

"He isn't my type, I don't have a type - I don't date much - I don't even know what my type is."

"You should find out," Agent encouraged. "-by asking Ray for his number and going out with him."

"For his number?!" You repeated incredulously. "My God you two are ancient."

"What do you kids ask for nowadays?" Duke asked in confusion, running his hands through his dreads pensively.

"Snapchat or Instagram." You rolled your eyes. "Why am I talking about boys with either of you - you guys don't know shit about picking people up clearly-"

"HEY HEY HEY HEY-" They both rushed to defend themselves, their overlapping defensive shouts laughable.

"Look," You cut their defensive rambles off, raising your hands to gather than attentions, "This is cute and all, I get it, but you gotta understand... I don't even know who this guy is - yeah, I'll admit he's cute and all - but we're being real optimistic saying anything about guy who doesn't even know I exist - like - I just found out that he exists about half an hour ago! He might not even like me if we talked!"

"You too insecure." Duke rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. "You ugly but you aren't awful - you don't need to worry 'bout Ray rejecting you, there's plenty out there for you."

"Well thanks I guess."

"You want us to set you guys up?" Agent raised his brows, Duke's eyes widening and mouth forming an o-shape as he realised Agent's genius, looking at you expectantly with a wide smile.

"No." You stated resolutely, crushing their spirits. "Wait 'til I meet him in person or something. He could be weird or we might just be awkward..."

"Ay say less," Duke nodded his head. "When you gon' meet him?"

"I dunno, whenever I see him I guess? He's done a good job avoiding me, considering I haven't seen him in the house EVER, when apparently he's been in and out for months, now..."

Agent gasped, grabbing onto Duke's arm as another lightbulb idea clearly hit him.

"We should introduce them at movie night tonight!"

"HE'S STAYING FOR THAT?!"

"We'll make him stay." Agent grinned as Duke nodded along in agreement, letting out a little aaaaa! of excitement from their decided plan.

You couldn't even stop them from doing it, as they giggled and ran out of the room - not even taking their portion of lunch that you'd cooked, as they left the room swiftly, gossiping like schoolgirls as they plotted whilst you just sat. Fearing what the duo was planning.

"YOU COMIN' OR NOT?"

You rolled your eyes at your jumpy cousin's yell from the floor below, your continuing to unroll your hair in your attic room, looking at your reflection in the mirror and hoping your curls would fluff out if your brushed them.

There was a knock at the door and before you could even respond, it was busted open.

"You're meant to knock and wait until I say you can come in, asshole."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Kai brushed it off before looking into the mirror and seeing your reflection. "The fuck, are you doing your hair for a movie night? Are you wearin' lashes too?"

You shrugged, feeling Kai's judgement bring a slight blush to your face. You'd sort of convinced yourself that if Ray was staying for movie night (and Duke and Agent were gonna try setting the two of you up) you would put on just a bit of makeup - try make yourself look a little better, you know?

"What you getting all dolled up for?"

You bit down on your lip, wondering whether you should let Kai in on it. Would it be a bit awkward? You'd done just a bit of research on Ray and realised that he was surprisingly Kai's best friend - they were tight as hell... Which meant that telling Kai might just be a liiiittle bit awkward.

"I'm just trying some overnight makeup out," You shrugged after a second. "Euphoria - you know that makeup brand? - they gifted me this, I'm jus' trying it out now... So I can wear it in future, you know?"

Kai stared at you for a second, reading your expression and making you uncomfortable under his gaze, wondering whether he knew you were lying...

"Man, I don't know shit about makeup- just hurry your ass up, we waitin' on you now."

With that, Kai gave you the three minutes you needed to unroll and brush your hair - put a few finishing touches on your makeup - and slip into your comfy hoodie and sweatpants, checking your makeup in the mirror one last time before skipping down the stairs.

You peeked into the living room, Davis catching your eye and gesturing for you to come on in, patting the vacant space besides him on the sofa for you to come sit.

Your eyes scaled down the sofa, seeing Kai - Chris - Fanum - Agent - Duke - Davis...

And no Ray.

"You lookin' for someone?" Agent asked with a knowing grin plastered on his face.

"Nope." You stopped Agent, swiftly advancing from the door to the space besides Davis and ignoring the way you could hear Duke's snickering from besides Agent. "Is that everyone?" You asked casually, finding yourself relaxing slightly as the prospect that maybe you wouldn't have to meet Ray with the pressure of Duke and Agent coercing the two of you into talking and getting close.

"Nah we just waitin' on Ray." Kai responded, throwing some snacks into his mouth. "-OH, that means you'll finally meet Ray tonight!"

"Oh." Your simple response came, Duke and Agent's muffled laughter seemingly ignored by everyone but you.

"He's a nice guy," Kai nattered. "I just met him by accident sometime but he's a nice enough kid - he's your age - you could have a friend in the house if you guys get close too-"

"Fuck you mean a friend, we're all friends here," Fanum cut Kai off.

"We friends tho-"

Kai began wrestling someone at the comment.

You rest your head in your hands for a moment, just letting yourself calm down for a second whilst the duo rolled around on the floor, mock WWE fighting each other at the mere mention of Tyla's friend-zoning.

"What movie we thinkin'?" Duke asked the remainder of people on the sofa.

"We startin' without Ray?" Fanum questioned, Duke just shrugging and mumbling some answer.

"I could do with a horror," You yawned, Davis rolling his eyes and protesting instantly.

"What about a thriller? That's like soft horror, right?"

"The Outsider's one I been wanting to watch for time - check that out-"

"That shit looks scary as fuck, hell nah-"

"Let's watch the opening and if it's all that bad we can try a different film."

Duke pressed play on the movie, Kai breaking up the fight to jump back onto the sofa and settle into his seat to get ready to watch the movie - only to have it paused as the door opened - everyones' heads craning around as the door creaked.

In a pair of Hello Kitty pyjama bottoms and a plain white tee, Ray stood in the doorway.

"You finally come down?!" Kai jumped onto his feet and exclaimed at the quiet boy, Duke pausing the movie. "You was taking longer than HER to get ready!"

Ray looked down the group until he saw the person Kai jabbed his finger at. You. His dark eyes bore into yours, tracing down over your body ever so quickly before meeting with your eyes again. Kai noticing the pause and realising-

"OH- I been meanin' to introduce you two-"

"You Kai's cousin?" Ray questioned, his English broken up slightly, accent evident within his voice which wasn't exactly deep or husky, owning any particularly attractive qualities... but something about it was soothing on the ear, regardless.

"Yeah, you're Ray I'm guessing," You nodded, smiling up at the boy politely, expecting him to be courteous enough to smile back.

Your smile slid off your face as Ray didn't smile back, however. Rude, you thought, internally rolling your eyes and deciding that maybe you weren't all that bothered with someone who wouldn't even smile back at you.

But no, Ray was quite straightforwards in stepping around the boys towards you and giving you a handshake... Which felt strangely formal - until Ray kept his hand intertwined with you and pulled you up to your feet with surprising strength, making you let out the slightest of gasps as Ray put an arm around your back - pulling you into a hug instead.

Your hands slowly wrapped around his body in response - just slightly shocked at... Well, everything.

A) Whatthefuck he was STRONG?! Sure, you'd seen that he had muscles from his Instagram posts - but shit, he wasn't exactly ripped - and he certainly didn't look like he had enough muscle to lift you up just with one hand

B) Ohmyfuck, he's so comfortable just giving a hug? No awkwardness, no weird lead up, just coming over here in front of everyone and pulling me into a hug? That shit's nice as Hell I gotta admit-

C) Damn he smells good - is that like... Pine? Something warm and comforting a lil like vanilla... or maybe some sage too...?

D) OhmyLORD he is tall. You and Kai were both cursed blessed with the short genes of your families, and donned similar heights... Which meant that Ray practically enveloped you within his arms and hug, your head resting just below his chest in such a way you could feel a heat rising to your cheeks - making the blush you'd swiped onto your cheeks earlier futile, as your flustered feelings reflected on your cheeks.

You opened your eyes slightly as you felt your mind going into overdrive at the hug Ray gave - catching the expression of the people on the sofa as you did; Kai and Davis looking relatively normal, though Chris and Fanum donned expressions of suspicion - their minds clearly already sensing some tension or connection, and Agent beaming as though everything was coming together - Duke raising a brow with a knowing expression, as if he'd seen this coming and was encouraging you to continue with... with something(???)

Ray was the first to pull back, making you realise you'd just sorta grappled onto him and forgotten that a hug was only meant to last for a moment.

"You two is both the same age too, so I thought it'd be good for you two to be friends," Kai explained, making you laugh - trying to cover the way you were all too aware about the fact that Ray's arm remained around your shoulders following the hug, still holding you sorta close to his body.

"Thanks Uncle Cenat" You pointed out his behaviour.

"You two should go sit on that couch with each other," Agent gestured to the adjacent sofa. "Given there isn't space for another two of you here."

You watched as Duke subtly bumped his fist against Agent, them two thinking they were sooo smooth at the suggestion, making you just roll your eyes and stay silent - not opposed to what Agent had suggested, but not wanting to pressure Ray into it, or appear as too eager or enthusiastic when Ray might not've cared at all.

However Duke seemed to take your silence as an opportunity to drop more hints.

"She'll try cuddle you though, you gotta watch out-" Duke couldn't even finish his sentence without laughing - your eyes widening in horror at the betrayal you felt as Duke spewed the truth. "She likes hugging and bein all physical like that-"

Your face fell into your hands in horror, shaking your head from side to side as the crew on the sofa burst out laughing at Duke's lack of filter, embarrassing you to no end as you hid your burning face within your palms.

You were horrified Duke was baiting you out. What sick sorta plan did he have to get you two together which involved publicly shaming you?? You could still feel Ray's arm around your shoulders despite Duke's ridiculing, but you could already imagine the expression he would wear: a pitying smile or mocking laugh matching the rest of the gang.

Fucking embarrassing.

You chose to look up at Ray - let his expression tell you that you didn't have a single chance with him, now that you'd been outed and embarrassed for being an oddball. That he thought you were weird and that you had 0 chances of building some sort of connection or having a relationship with the only person anywhere near your age within the AMP house.

Yet to your surprise, as you looked up and your eyes met Ray's - you saw no expression you were expecting.

He was fine with it.

He had a blank, unbothered expression, and seemed more interested in you than anything Duke was flacking.

"You want to cuddle?" Ray questioned with no evident nor underlying judgement within his voice. Just a genuine question, in which he didn't seem opposed to the idea - just wanting to know whether Duke was being genuine or not - clearly not wanting to misread the situation and accidentally be too forwards with you.

Your tongue felt heavy, mind whirring into overdrive as you couldn't even begin to respond to his question - a blush forming on your cheeks as your eyes widened with shock even more - after all, you hadn't even expected Ray to want to talk to you. Let alone be so to-the-point with asking to cuddle.

He was a man of few words.

But the words that Ray did speak? They got straight to your heart, and regardless of whether he knew the effect of what he said, he was only making you more into him.

It felt like some sickening fever dream; a guy your age, attractive and forwards with gestures of interest - asking you to come cuddle him and literally fulfilling one of your few visceral cravings; your want for physical contact with someone satiated by Ray, who was willing to do exactly what you'd been craving.

It was just too bad you didn't know how to express it.

Ray's arm slipped away - leaving your shoulders as he advanced across the room, sitting on the adjacent sofa and seemingly leaving you as he manspread his legs out, one arm wrapping around the back of the seat next to him as he looked up and made eye contact with you.

"Come then," He spoke plainly, leaving it open to you as he pat the seat besides him with his hand.

The AMP boys on the sofa let out OOOOOO's of surprise, Duke and Agent grabbing onto and slapping each others' forearms to get each others' attention and ogle at the way that shit was working out. Kai had his brows furrowed in slight confusion despite his grin - just a bit suspicious of the way that Ray seemed to be making advances towards you. Not to mention that they seemed to be working.

But you personally?

You couldn't help but fixate on how good Ray looked. The way that he was sat with his legs spread, white tee pooling at the bottom and contrasting the darkness of his hair and eyes...

You knew you'd spent too long just awkwardly stood staring, and you decided not to let the awkward moment persist - crossing the room and following in Ray's steps as you sat down besides him, hands within your lap as you felt your leg brushing his - that being enough contact to satisfy your shy self for the moment.

"Yo, pass a blanket." Ray said to Fanum, his blunt demand being met with Fanum widening his eyes with shock at the confidence of the boy with you.

"Hell nah gang, I ain't letting you do shit under a blanket with her," Fanum became defensive, despite the smile on his face.

Agent was the one to throw a bundled up blanket over Fanum's head, reaching Ray and letting him unroll it with Fanum scolding Agent whilst Ray gave you a portion of the blanket, throwing it over your body and getting you comfy.

Duke pressed play on the movie, and the screen lit up with colours, allowing the introduction to play out and capture everyones' attention once more.

Ray's hand drifted from the back of the sofa to your shoulders, whispering a "You okay with this?" which you nodded in response to, leaning back into his arm and enjoying the weight of his arm around your back, hand resting against your shoulder - long fingers running down the length of your arm whilst his thumb rest across the top of your shoulder, parallel to your collarbone. Occasionally, he swiped his thumb over your shoulder in a comforting way, giving you shivers which you had to conceal each time he did it.

As the movie played out, the horror began unveiling itself, until the main character found themself alone, in the dark, walking with solely a torch through a liminal space which had your anxiety rising.

"This shit scary as fuck" You heard Ray mumble from besides you, shuffling closer whilst you could feel his arm muscles tensing in clear fear. You nodded with fear in your body also, every muscle anticipating a jumpscare... And feeling Ray shift closer, you leaned into his body too, letting your body meet with Ray's side, head leaning against his shoulder ever so slightly as if testing to see whether he'd back out... Which he didn't. In fact, his other arm wrapped around your shoulders too, his head behind yours as if whilst holding you he was shielding himself from the screen and the awaiting jumpscare.

It was laughable how scared he was, yet you didn't considering the fact that you were also (metaphorically) shitting it. No, instead you wrapped your hands around his arms which sat around your shoulders, gripping onto Ray and scooting yourself into Ray's body, as though uniting the two of you could save you from a jumpscare on the other side of the screen.

Of course, it didn't.

Screams and yells ricocheted around the room as the tension was released by the jumpscare.

Ray's hands tightened around your body at the scene whilst you yourself jumped at the shock, turning your face away from the screen and squeezing your eyes shut, subsequently hiding your face in the crook of Ray's neck, your forehead resting against his skin whilst his hand just accommodated his movement and rest against your lower back instead.

"That wasn't even that scary," You whispered into Ray's ear as you overcame the shock of the jumpscare, bodies still squished together, embracing just in case another surprise scare appeared.

"You joking?" Ray pulled back, eyes widening as he looked at you, whispering incredulously. "This some of the scariest thing I have ever seen..."

"It was just some goofy creature - we didn't even see what it was," You giggled quietly at the frightened boy, even making him smiling a little bit as though your laughter was contagious.

Ahem. The two of you lost eye contact as Fanum cleared his throat, giving the two of you a pointed look to say-

"Shut the fuck up - is what he's saying." Kai's energetic voice broke the atmosphere. "And stop with all that cute shit too Ray, I introduced you two to be friends, I don't like whatever you're doin'."

You felt a blush return to your cheeks, feeling almost caught by your psuedo-sibling. At least he was projecting his distaste onto Ray instead of you, though.

Rolling your eyes as Fanum raised his brows and gave you a shuthethefuckup look as well, you pulled the blanket up to your neck and tucked yourself further up into Ray's body, letting yourself relax into his side.

Your head leaned slowly towards Ray, eventually making contact with his shoulder and just resting there. His arm still tucked around your shoulders, both of your bodies covered with the blanket... You let out a yawn from the warmth the blanket wrapped you with, simulating a cosy duvet tucking you into bed.

"Tired?" Ray whispered, his head leaning on top yours. He was quiet, but you could still feel the vibrations of voice resonating from his chest and against your body which was still leant up against his.

"Lil bit," You replied, feeling your eyes getting heavy.

"You can lie against me-" Ray shuffled himself around a bit - causing you to detach your head groggily, allowing him to readjust himself before beckoning you back - letting you lie with your back towards the armrest - legs across his lap.

You appreciated Ray's accommodating nature and rotated yourself to swing your legs across his, resting your thighs in his lap and lying your body back against the armrest of the chair - though your body was still close enough to Ray's for him to keep an arm around your back - your body still close to his, now flush with his chest and front.

You rested a hand around Ray's body, sorta hugging him, sorta stabilising yourself. The action made a blush rise to your cheeks as you remembered a mere few hours ago when you were looking at his pictures on Instagram and the abs he had beneath that shirt, back when Agent and Duke had caught you and initially planned on trying to set you and Ray up.

You could feel your eyes getting heavier by the second, breathing slowing despite the pace of the movie which had only just started picking up - and it seemed as though Ray just needed to say one thing before you clocked out.

"You're very pretty." His voice was soft. Quiet, as to not let the boys across the room hear. And his fingers gently ran through your hair as you lay back, near to falling asleep - though his words send impulses down your accelerator nerve, increasing your heartrate.

"Big talk from you," You smiled, returning the compliment. "Your insta pictures are... Nice."

Ray's face broke into a smile, his lips curling upwards - more towards the right than the left - his right eye crinkling with the muscles that uncontrollably contracted in response to the pride that glowed within him from the compliment.

"What you doing tomorrow?" The simple question came.

Was he fucking asking you out???

"Uhm, I think... probably working most of the day..."

"You free tomorrow night?" God he was persistent, and God you fucking loved that he wasn't gonna let go.

"Should be, yeah..."

"You want to go out?" Ray questioned. "With me?"

You literally felt your heart exploding, warmth erupting within your stomach happy chemicals flowing through your body at the fact Ray was interested.

Nodding your head with the fattest smile unwipeable from your lips, Ray grinned at your reaction also, nodding to seal the deal.

"I will take you out," Ray spoke happily, still quiet as to not catch the other guys' attentions. "Date style, yeah?"

"Date style." You nodded in agreement, giggling slightly at the fact Ray needed clarification. Cutie.

"I meant it when I said shut the fuck up, you two." Kai shushed the two of you, eyes glued to the screen but viewing experience diminished by your quietly unintelligible conversation in the corner.

"Sorry!" You apologised quickly, grin evident in your voice from the ecstatic feeling that flowed through your body, having been asked out. And Duke and Agent heard your smile within your voice - turning with knowing smiles towards you.

And this time, instead of rolling your eyes or hiding from Agent or Duke, you grinned back, nodding your head as if to say Yeah, it's working out.

Duke's grin multiplied by tenfold, biting down on his lip to try not to laugh out of excitement for the two of you - your first big shipper. Agent however, rolled his eyes, and you watched as a bill slipped from Agent's pocket into Duke's awaiting palm - wiping the smile of your face and replacing it with a look of confusion which Agent noticed.

Taking out his phone, Agent avidly pressed the screen, before looking up - your phone vibrating from your hoodie pocket.

3 New Messages

Agent: Lol before u came down we bet on what'd happen

Agent: Duke bet that you'd end up successfully making moves

Agent: I bet against lol

You: I'm glad you lost that money.

You slipped your phone back into your pocket, breathing out a breath of relief, contentment and tiredness as you got back into a comfortable position - eyes shutting, head becoming heavy and leaning against Ray's chest where he tucked the blanket around your back and put his arm around your shoulders, his fingers finding purchase within your hair and comfortingly running through the curls you'd rolled up an hour ago.

And listening to Ray's heartbeat and feeling his body warm yours through his white tee - ambient noises of the TV in the background as you slowly inhaled and exhaled, drinking in Ray's comforting cologne, you felt yourself slowly slipping away and happily falling asleep in his arms.

BONUS!

Waking up the next day, you were not happy with what you saw on Twitter.

FANUM

I was gonna do a stream having these two mfs meet up but they already seem pretty fuckin cosy 😭

AMP Kai FUCK IS TS i gotta have some mfkn words w Ray 😭 Arm round her n all - I DONT FUCK W THIS BEHAVIOUR WHEN IT INVOLVES MY CUS 🙏🙏 AMP updates 👀👀👀👀 SpeedyBeta WHAT IS THIS WHAT DID I MISS??? TheFroggyBoggy ONG GIRLLL HOW'D THEY GO FROM NOT KNOWING WHO EACH OTHER WERE ON THE STREAM TO BEIN LIKE THIS SpeedyBeta LITR HAHHA SUPER CUTE THO <33

Duke Dennis

He didn't even ask me for no rizz tips.

AMP Agent Still can't believe you won the bet smh 🙄😒 Atl smth acc happened here ✅ KingKennysimp101 Damn the spooning w the blanket n all?? I'm sorry i wasn't familiar with ur game Ray 😭😭🙏🙏🙏 AMP Kai I'm gonna be having damn words with that boy. AMP Davis She aint gonna like this post Duke 😭😭😭 Y/n You're damn right ab that Davis AMP Davis Duke your ass better be running💀💀 Duke Dennis Omw back to Atlanta as we speak 🙏

It's so wild that my first proper write for AMP is for Ray 😭😭 Hopefully this has drawn in some of the AMP girlies tho bc i have a fic in the work for DUKE, FANUM, and AGENT!

(add urself to my taglist if u wanna be notified for when i post them)

Hope you enjoyed reading!! Feel free to interact- whether that be a comment, vote or follow! Requests open, feel free to submit what u wanna see... Much love!!

To see more for AMP and other YouTubers, here's my MASTERLIST

And here's my WATTPAD, with 50+ more oneshots to read

p.s. Customise which Oneshots YOU want to be tagged in by submitting your preferences on THIS GOOGLE FORM

TAGLIST: (sorry I didn't do it last night i fell asleep b4 I could)

@kennysimp101 @speedybeta @thefroggyboggy @zomburexia @zandrax @supaprettyg @gyu-baby @spiritualz @daniiixoxo @koritoji @smh-anon @lila702980 @star-32 @mym3lodii @betashully @fillysmypookie @janialovesbetasquad @lisask8s @mcddyperez

[homeofatlas]

Wasted Days

Summary: Being in the public eye isn’t easy. Especially when you’re in love with your best friend. 

Authors note: Y'all.......I'm sorry this has been sitting half finished forever and i just needed to get it done and out there. Not edited. Also yes this is lowkey based on that line from call me by your name. but not really but inspired from it.

Word Count: 3.2k

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being somewhat famous isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You loved the fans' sweet messages, the way they encouraged you and supported you when you had bad games, and how much dedication went into the edits and the fanpages. You’d even be lying if you said you hadn’t looked up your own name on tumblr to see if their was any fanfic of you. It flattered you, all these people you didn’t know idolising you and watching your interviews. What you didn’t appreciate was how they began to read into your relationship with your best friend. Could you call it reading into when they were just calling it like they saw it? It’s hardly their fault whenever you and elisa posted pictures of your excursions or you had interviews together you were staring at her like she’s hung the moon and the stars. It seemed quite rude of them to have to point that out though, in your opinion. 

The recent influx of comments asking whether or not you two were dating made your heart beat faster in your chest. Surely there must be something there that other people can see and you aren’t just making it all up in your head, right? If not then it’s blatantly obvious for the entire internet to see how in love you are with your best friend, Elisa. You honestly can’t help the way you allegedly look at her. You’ve tried to rein it in, you’ve tried to like other people, you’ve tried to not tell anyone and make it go away. But apparently no matter where you go as soon as anyone sees you interact with her it’s like you’ve got I’m in love with her tattooed on your forehead. 

During your professional football career you’d been at Montpellier with Elisa for a year before she’d left to join PSG. Giving you just enough time to learn everything about the girl and fall in love with her, convince yourself she might feel the same way, and then be heartbroken about her transfer. You’d kept in contact and tried to see her as regularly as possible but with training and games and travelling it’d been difficult until one day when you got the call from your agent telling you PSG wanted to sign you. Immediately you’d said yes in every way but in formal writing. 

Upon your first connection with the PSG team they’d noticed something was different about you. The way your hug reuniting with Elisa lasted longer than it potentially should have. The way she was more distracted with you around. The way she stuck to you like glue and smiled more than she had before. You’d gotten into the habit of constantly being around each other again. When you two played together there was no stopping you. You could read what the other was thinking before they did it. It was like watching one person be split into two bodies. Unfortunately none of these things made your crush on her go away or dull even a little. That old saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”? They had a point. 

In your time away from Elisa you’d forgotten the way her eyes crinkle when she smiled and the sound of her voice without the glitchiness of the phone. Constantly being around her again made everything better and worse at the same time. You were so screwed it wasn’t even funny. Which is why it took less than three weeks for the girls to corner you and ask about your relationship with Elisa. They’d assumed something had happened in the past or you were currently together. Either way that had been your first inkling you weren’t hiding your feelings as well as you tried to. Realistically there was only so much you could do before you started to avoid the girl or be constantly dead faced. You couldn’t help smiling at her the way you did or being the one she ran to when she scored a goal. If you’re being honest, it’s her fault for being so loveable. What were you supposed to do?

Pulling into the PSG parking lot you ready yourself for the teasing you know you’ll face. Elisa posted a photo last night which showcased you two looking awfully close together while on a night out with the team. You’d already skimmed the comments and they were the same on every post which had the two of you together. 

“Are Elisa and Y/N together?”

“They are such a cute couple!”

“My OTP”

Yeah, you thought bitterly, mine too. Scanning the parking lot to see which of the girls were already getting ready your eyes landed on Elisas car. Knowing she’s already there puts a pep in your step. Walking towards the change rooms weaving into corridors and making turns you come up on the hallway before the change room. You can hear voices inside speaking with one of the voices distinctly agitated. As you move to enter you hear your name. It’s Jackie and Elisa speaking about you. Deciding to wait for a moment, you want to hear what they’re talking about. You hear Elisas voice cut through the tense silence. 

“Drop it Jackie, we’re just friends. I don’t have feelings for her and I never have. Plus if anything was going to happen don’t you think it would have by now? We’ve been friends for years.” 

You can practically see the face Elisas disbelieving face as someone once again questions the nature of your relationship. Are you really so bad she can’t even see how someone else could see the two of you together? Your stomach turns at the thought. It never gets easier to see her with other people, or hear her refer to your love as being strictly platonic. It never feels strictly platonic whenever you shiver and she immediately throws an arm around you pulling you into her side. Or when she grabs you to tell you something when she could have called your name to grab your attention. Or when she cracks a joke and she looks at you first to see if you’re smiling. Those moments rarely feel entirely platonic. 

The words straight from her mouth saying she hasn’t got feelings for you makes you want to turn around and call in sick for training but you have to get over this at some point. You have to learn your place in Elisas life, her longtime friend, perhaps even her best friend. Not her lover. The realisation never hurts less despite the dozens of times you’ve come to it.

You give it a couple more minutes letting the conversation truly die out before walking in as though you hadn’t heard a thing. As you walk in you notice the way Jackie glances between you two. You’re sure your melancholy is written on your face, everything always is. You avert your gaze before she can decipher why. Thankfully she’s quiet while you change silently you really can't handle any teasing right now. Small bits of you break off every time you have to tell someone you and Elisa are just friends. Going up to the pitch and beginning to warm up Elisas words are still ringing in your head. Day 1067 (roughly) wasted thinking of a girl who doesn’t want you back. Story of my life, you think to yourself. 

—-------

A team dinner is the last place you want to be tonight. It’s good for bonding but you’re attached to Elisas side the whole time anyways. You aren’t sure you can get anymore bonded to her. You wonder how much of it is you sticking close to her and how much of it is her keeping you close. You wonder how far you’d get before she pulled you back into her orbit. Not very far, you reckon. 

Sakina slides into the seat opposite of you. You’d say her grin is wolfish but her features are too soft for the term. 

“So you two looked pretty comfy on instagram the last couple of posts. Anything you’d like to share with the team?”

Your eyes flicker to Elisa beside you only to find her making eye contact with Jackie a couple people down. Whatever telepathic conversation they’re having right now makes your chest burn. You’re supposed to be the only one who knows her that well. Your mouth is filled with a bitter taste and something clenches and flexes in your chest. You look down trying to contain yourself before replying to Sakinas comment. 

“We hang out a lot, sue us.”

You can feel Elisa nod more than you see it. 

“Plus Y/ns a good photo taker I’ve got to put her skills to use when I have them!” She says jokingly. She leans forward in her chair propping one elbow up on the table the other coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. You glance to the side meeting her eyes and smile. Yes keep your focus on me, the beast in your chest sighs and relaxes. 

“Yeah but she’s been here for a while now. You’d think you guys would be sick of each other. I mean you’ve been friends for so long. What else do you even have to talk about?” 

You have a feeling it's time for Sakina to start drinking water. Luckily Elisa saves you from having to answer again. 

“Anything, everything, whatever we feel like mostly. Sometimes we talk about nothing at all and it’s the best conversation I'll have all day.”

See? It’s stuff like that which makes you wanna scream and shout and call bullshit on being platonic. 

It's like watching everything you've ever worked for go down the drain as Sakinas eyes light up. Something in her brain seems to scream BINGO!

“So have you guys ever….you know?” She looks between you two, clearly hinting at something. “Clearly you’re great together and have been in the same places at the same times coincidentally.”

Yeah coincidentally, you think. 

Elisa leans back in her chair seemingly nonchalantly, “I mean I liked her when we were younger but it was never the right time.” She shrugs as if she hasn’t just blown up the ground you’re standing on. 

“I mean we were young and starting out in our careers, we didn’t know where we’d go. There was no point in saying anything at that point.” You try to recover. Jumping in so it seems like you’re also unbothered and knew this information. You might pass out. It feels like the lights got brighter than they were a minute ago. 

Sakina puts down her drink and seems to take a pause before replying. She goes unnaturally still for a moment before she relaxes and looks between you two with a confidence you see projected towards crowds but rarely in spaces with her friends. You’re starting to think she’a lot more sober than she’s let on and this a massive ploy or some sick fucking prank you’re the victim of. 

“So why aren’t you now?”

Oh, Fuck. 

Damage control. 

Act like this is the first time you’ve thought of this. 

You see Elisas eyes darken and an intense look in her eye directed at Sakina which the girl seems to pointedly ignore instead putting on a vague attitude of indifference which seems to suggest she’s just come to an observation, not blown up your carefully constructed weird homoerotic friendship. 

“We could never jeopardise our friendship.” Elisa answers lamely. 

You feel nauseous. Someone might need to call an ambulance because you aren’t sure if your heart has beat at all in the past five minutes. You’ve got to get out of here, you need to be alone. Just as that crosses your mind, a warm palm goes to rubbing circles on your lower back. You know she’s trying to soothe you but right now she’s a match stick and you're an old crumpled newspaper. Glancing back you give Elisa a tight smile before excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, instead you walk out the front door and go home. 

—----------------

You aren’t expecting to hear from her. She’s made it abundantly clear in the last 12 hours she values your relationship but strictly as friends and used to like you but doesn’t anymore? You sigh, needing a minute to shut your brain off. 

So when there’s a knock at the door you’re confused about who's at your door on a thursday night at almost 11 pm, you know it’s the one person who would’ve noticed you slip away. 

She’s the last person you want to see and the first one you want to go to about all of this. Being in love with your best friend is too frustrating, you think as you unlock the door. 

“You left.” She’s pouting in your hallway. 

“I’ve filled my quota of hearing why I’m not relationship material to you today. Thanks, come back tomorrow.” Crap. You’re tired and you just want to go to bed, it slipped out. 

“So this is about dinner?”

You’ve had enough. 

At 11:08 pm on day 1067 (roughly) of being in love with Elisa you’ve decided you’ve had enough. 

“It’s about us. I’ve loved you for a quarter of forever and I've spent all day listening to the ways you don’t like me in front of our teammates so excuse me if i had enough and came home.” 

“Can I come in? This feels like an inside conversation, not a hallway conversation.”

You hate how she’s right and how she places her jacket on the hook that’s unofficially hers. When you turn and she’s made your home hers. She does that a lot, gets into your stuff and makes it her own. Your heart was the first thing she ever did too. 

The moment you make eye contact with her again, it comes spilling out. 

“I’ve loved you since forever. Honestly I can't pinpoint a specific moment in time where I knew I was in love. But when I listen to music there’s montages of your smile running through my head and your spirit feels like everything good in the world. Violins and guitars remind me of you. You’re music. You’re art. I love you, I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn’t.” Everythings comes out of Elisa at rapid fire. You’re left blinking at her tiredly. 

Word’s have done enough today. You’re too tired to talk. You walk over to her and tangle her hands with yours. Her fingers run along the sides of yours and you’ve never felt simultaneously at home and like you're on a rollercoaster. You love that feeling best when you’re with Elisa, she makes everything down to going on a walk feel like an adventure but also like you’re coming home and taking off your shoes and falling into bed when you’re tired. Safe, you realise, she makes you feel safe. No one ever felt this much like home before. In fact, you think if there is a home where all the atoms in the universe started your’s would be next to hers. 

She pulls you closer to her body and before you can register it you feel a soft kiss, tentative kiss on your lips. It feels so right. You’ve always felt like your bodies were made to fit together and now you have confirmation. 

“Sorry, I had to do that, I couldn't wait any longer.” 

You hum at the sentiment. 

She pulls away before bumping your foreheads together and letting it rest there. You love how Elisa knows you. Kissing is great but you know there’s more way to be intimate in a moment without you being attached to each other. Sitting here in this silence with her is filling your lungs with life again. You hadn’t noticed how little air you’d been breathing before, now every breath is a big heave and you’re trying to fill all your senses with her. You can see her, you can hear her breaths, you can feel her warmth against you, you can smell her, you can taste the chapstick she keeps in her car. This is where you’re supposed to be, you’ve never been more sure of anything. 

Her hand comes up to cup the side of your face. Speaking quietly she utters,

“We wasted so many days.” 

She sounds like she's laughing at the irony of it all. You know her well enough to detect the hint of bitterness in her voice. You think back to all the days you spent throwing her longing looks, waiting until she looked away or turned to look back at her. Everytime she smiled or laughed or frowned and they all went into a file to document exactly what she looked like. When you were younger and she would run up to hug you after a goal or the late night phone calls or the times where the moment hung just long enough for you to consider saying something. A light on the dark sea looking for a boat to say I see you, come home to me, I'll keep you safe. You wouldn’t trade any of those moments for the world. 

“No, my love,” you whisper back bringing your own hand up to clutch hers, “I haven’t wasted a single day loving you. You make me feel like I’m somebody when I'm next to you. I don’t care about how many goals or assists I have, none of that matters. I don’t need to be somebody to anyone, I want to be someone to you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

You love her so much it’s utterly overwhelming, you can feel your throat beginning to close up. Sometimes it’s hard for you to tell her you love her because she means so much to you. Words could never portray how essential she is to your being. All you can do is hold her and try to give her the same sense of safety and wonder she gives you. Your hands tightly grip hers. You can feel her lips ghosting over the skin of your face. Her warm and heavy presence reminds you that this moment isn’t a dream. 

You feel her press small kisses from your temple to your hairline, her hand moving to cradle the back of your head. Eventually she trails her kisses along your nose before hovering over your mouth where you meet her to connect your lips again. This kiss isn’t as soft as the last. This is the kiss which tells you she’s waited long enough to have you, she isn’t going to waste another moment. Your arms creep up to wind around her neck pulling her closer to you. A deep inhale from your nose tells her you don’t want to let go just as much as her. With a small bite to your lower lip, you knew you’d been right in assuming your chemistry would translate to the physical side of the potential relationship. 

Pulling away with great effort you ask her to stay over tonight. 

She replies by kissing you harder than before. 

Perfect, you think, you’re not going to waste one more day.

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

The older I get the more I realize these things about dating.

I have been trying to have deep connections and stimulating conversations for some time.

This doesn't seem to work. Especially on dating apps for I guess obvious reasons.

But as an observant, shy, lonely and somewhat intelligent person ( who happens to be gay) I have unfortunately never found love or relationships myself.. I have only seen it through other people

It's pretty apparent that dating is for simple people. I don't mean this in an arrogant way but a majority of individuals seem to not take the question asking part of dating seriously. Idk if this is due to them not being attracted, busy, simple minded or a more narcissistic culture but it is apparent to me that the closer these people are to my location, the less they are willing to learn more about me.

I wonder why that is? 🤔 I've had plenty of engaging online, non dating app conversations with people all over the world.

So part of me thinks that this is due to our new emotionless, soulless culture. Because this problem only exists when I engage with potential matches that can turn into reality.

The need for connection is still there. Fear is holding us back.

Why are people so afraid of reality? What are they running from? Themselves? Other people? Is the world in such a bad place right now that we feel like if we make a connection we know it will probably end up broken like the society we live in? 💔

The more I observe dating and other people's love lives the more it is apparent to me that deep, intellectual, stimulating conversations are not a part of the game AT ALL.

( take it as a grain of salt but from my observations dating goes like this)

One, attraction is the 1# thing! Because if you don't have it there is no fuel to get anything going. The car won't even get out of the lot. Especially off apps.

Secondly, the man usually takes action by getting the girl on the date as fast as possible..he has to woo her by showing her a fun, spontaneous, adventurous, humorous, and flirtatious time.

It is usually filled with banter, funny nostalgic stories, flirting and none of that would even matter if the two ( especially the man who usually carries the convo) was not attracted.

You can seriously make anything work with mutual sexual attraction. I've seen two plain and boring people talk for hours about nothing but because they had those saucer eyes for eachother it just worked! They definitely don't talk about work or deep concepts.

So the man drains his ( or if hes in his 20s) his daddy's resources on the girl to have a "fun" time..meanwhile his sexual motivation is keeping it going because she obviously has many other options.

The girl then looks pretty and vets if he is worthy for a LTR.

If so, she gets brought into this new, advantageous, silly, successful man's life and uses him as a tool to get away from her boring and domesticated life. She uses him for fun, community, hobbies and eventually family.

She uses his resources as a way to post on tiktok, fb and ig to show off to all of her friends " look at the amazing, good looking and successful guy I am able to get" mostly to show status as a woman and to make her friends jealous..because they were mean to her in the past.

None of her *connection* to her man has pretty much anything to do with conversation. ( sounds harsh I know but hear me out)

If you doubt this why do men and women immediately separate at Christmas parties and work events?

Have you ever observed a straight guy talking to a straight girl before? At any age?

It's usually a girl talking with her friends about things that doesn't interest him and his eyes roll over astrology and the girl eye rolling about video games or sports banter. Exc...

It's pretty obvious how for 95% of the population..male and female worlds have NOTHING to do with eachother. And want NOTHING to do with eachother except for what each gender lacks...

Emotional support from the woman and financial stability from the man. What binds them is sex and what keeps them together is family.

This is why my nerdy lesbian ass has such a hard time with dating. Lol

In the typical female way I am relying too much on talking, not much action. And in a very unfair lesbian way I can't seem to find my opposite.

I am trying to find an intellectual match when I should just be finding my feminine opposite. I'm treating dating like lunch dates with friends, Like men discussing politics on the Titanic while smoking cigars.

Unless I want to talk to a mirror long conversation isn't the way to go.

Because it never was to begin with. This is the code I finally cracked. Lol 😆

I'll leave the cerebral banter and philosophical insights to the lonely, individualistic writer side of me..the side of many great minds in history...But even a great writer will drop his work like a hot potato as soon as he finds a woman he is undeniably in love with. 🥰

My point is to find my opposite not my reflection. And my opposite might surprise me with what they can give or know...even if it's not deep or extremely interesting to me. This goes for any gender. Love doesn't work that way.

[approximateknowledge]

the magus situation, or, "ak remembers log horizon exists and it exacerbates the brainrot"

(gonna be a long one)

so to the surprise of absolutely nobody i did in fact watch log horizon at one point in the past, and also tried reading the light novel but never ended up finishing it. my opinion on it is mostly "solid and had good potential, with some unfortunate quirks to how it's written". the anime is better than sao's, but the novel is worse

this isn't what this post is about

it's instead about a certain *spinoff manga*

the fuckign west wind brigade manga in all its janky beauty. it's a story that takes place in parallel with (and overlaps with) the main story while focusing on different parts of the world and a completely different cast of main characters. it tends to be somewhat more light-hearted than the main story (but not by a lot)

it's also technically a harem story, but in the same way UQ holder is, which is to say that soujirou seta has that touta konoe charm that makes me go "yeah i fully get it this guy is impossible to hate"; he's more the guild dog than the guild leader half the time (affectionate)

*anyway*

spoilers for the west wind brigade manga incoming

so the afformentioned soujirou seta (middle character on the manga cover) is in fact the very first person to die after the catastrophe, and in the process he proved that even after the world became real, *respawning was still a thing*

which suddenly made the prospect of pk'ing much less ethically daunting, leading to a massive explosion in guilds of bored disillusioned trapped people with nothing better to do starting to kill and loot en masse, as was already a massive plotpoint in log horizon proper. some are big guilds, some are smaller

and some are technically solo

which brings us, finally, to magus

*fucking magus* (affectionate?)

edgelord in a longcoat with the cringy speeches

but it's not exactly sincere is it? it's all forced, constantly like he's talking as much to himself as to his "audience"

like he really *wants* to believe what he's saying

"it's all a game anyway, i can do whatever i want! definitely! right? RIGHT?"

it is, in fact, a coping mechanism

because to admit it's real would mean it matters. would mean you're not actually hidden away anymore. no walls to hide behind. no mask

because it's all mask

it was the whole time

because it's easier that way

the persona and the longcoat an the fancy explanations for why it's totally correct and real, trust me! definitely not fucking desperate over here, no sirree!

it's the beater again. there's a beater in log horizon but you never meet them in the main story. because for this beater, the game doesn't end because it's over. but because they finally admit to themself it was never a game to begin with. which was of course the only way out, because log horizon doesn't have a win condition

if you can't "win", you need to stop playing

but that's not quite the whole story, is it?

because you know how it is with beaters

there's always a little footnote at the end

this funny little common thread that all examples ive found so far seem to share

yeah there's a massive very explicit gender angle to all of this because it's just part of the package at this point

and that is how magus' redemption arc also has her turning into a girl

it's frankly amazing, the thematic parallels write themselves, it's so delightfully on the nose!

this whole thing is in fact one giant transgender allegory that's barely an allegory at all

the "edgy longcoat-wearer with terrible coping mechanisms" to "cute akward goth girl" pipeline is real

[plusvanity]

Unfortunately, it's going to be long. I have read your recent asks and it's outrageous indeed how he still speaks on Øystein's name (seething at the mouth while trying to convince aaaaall the people about how awful and 'a loser' he was), throwing tantrums everytime someone mentions him; somehow, I do also think that it is funny, pathetically so, that he HAS to address ANY comment (even if the said comment is not relevant to let's say, the original post) about the man he killed (and also goes as far as to get pissy and correct people that he didn't 'murder' him, he 'just killed' him). We do all agree that he will never get over Øystein simply because A) he expected a different kind of 'aftermath' with him probably skyrocketing into this black metal symbol, replacing Euronymous in the scene, being viewed overall as a legend (which can be discussed as to what extent he is recognized as such, many people are unsympathetic of Ø.'s murder and play it out as something good that happened, like he 'cleansed' the scene because after all, Øystein had it coming) and B) it infuriates him that no matter what he says or how many time he says it or even after how many years have passed, people STILL talk about Euronymous, mourn this artistic loss & there is a small fambase dedicated to his legacy. What he thought was an easy way out — eliminating the 'threat' and the source of his admiration turned into jealousy — came to bite him in the ass and he still (even though he was somewhat successful with his music! Mind you) feels like he lives in his shadow. I also don't belive that Øystein wanted to make a snuff movie out of him at all. Or at least there is no source to back it up except the 'a friend of a friend' and the only real source that supports the claim that Ø. wanted, although it was more of a pondering about which was discarded, to kill him is that one Mortiis comment.

But my question is: do you think that this pure, hot rage toward Øystein after all those years is fundamentally fueled by the fact that even in death, he feels wronged by him because he had to throw away the best years of his life away? Does it make sense? He will always bound to him whether he likes it or not, doesn't matter if he tries to be nonchalant about it.

Ps. Very off topic: are you Italian?

Regarding the supposed reasons why he won't get over Øystein:

A. He actually became an iconic symbol in Black Metal whether we like it or not because his murder is actually one of the biggest reasons why the Black Metal became so popular in the late 90s/early 00s. The other reason is Pelle's s*****e. What convinced people that 'these kids ain't kiddin' was the actual loss of lives in the scene.

Burzum sold better than Mayhem overall, and Filosofem stood in tops for years. Random people know about Varg more than they do about Øystein or Pelle. I've literally had that confirmed both on the Internet and in real life many times.

He basically became famous for taking one's life, so I don't see why he would be mad today from this perspective if he already accomplished a status in the Black Metal history.

What realistically makes more sense is option B. Varg was envious of Øystein way before he committed the crime. I explained how this works when I talked about 'narcissistic splitting'. He wanted what he couldn't have, and that was Øystein's prestige, authority, innovation, etc. Basically, what made Øystein such a great 'leader', so to speak. It was a struggle for power, and this is also what the Norwegian Court concluded when they tried to determine the reason behind the crime.

What people have to understand is that Varg is, after 30 years, STILL afraid of Øystein. Øystein still holds power over him even if he is dead. Varg will never ever get over his obsession because his obsession hides a raging inferiority complex, it is rooted in fear of being 'less than' or 'not good enough'. He is mentally stuck at the age of 19-20 when he was a nobody and his success in music depended heavily on Øystein's approval. He gets triggered by every comment in which Øystein is mentioned, he cannot help it, it's involuntary. And these comments ruin his day, I can tell you that. I've never seen someone more pathetic, living in his own head, whose biggest accomplishment in life was taking another's life made such a parody out of himself on the Internet.

Yes, even after his death, Varg is wronged by Øystein. I believe he dreams about him at night, I'm not even kidding. I believe he has dreams in which he is 19 again and a loser in front of the one whom he looked up to.

He is furious that he lost the best years of his life, but this fury is aimed towards himself (he self-sabotaged by acting on impulse and ending up in prison). This, and the fury that is aimed towards Øystein are his main fuels. Narcissists live in the past. They revisit their most impactful moments again and again, and they are not able to move forward. Stuck in a loop is the easiest way to describe Varg's thought process.

No, I don't believe at all that Øystein wanted to make a snuff movie torturing Varg and all that stuff. As their friendship deteriorated, they couldn't stand each other, and they most probably went talking shit about each other behind their backs. Classic and typical.. but Varg took it to the next level and the rest is history.

No, I'm not Italian, but what made you think that? You made me curious.

[mochamoth]

samarina magical girl headcanons?

I have a few headcanons so far and the whole plot is kinda done! Uhh sorry this is a bit of a rant in advance! Feel free to just skip to the headcanons, the order doesn't matter too much (also mild spoilers for the canon gamee!!)

Backstory:

So this takes place sometime in the early 2000s, not modern but also not the canon 1940s time era. The backstories are pretty much the same except the Ninth Circle has an even sharper eye on Samarie. At some point Marina catches Samarie stalking her and gives her a talking to. But, after several apologies and begging from Samarie, Marina decided to get to know her a lil better. They slowly become friends overtime until some plot stuff happens and they die. I don't have a solid idea yet but I was thinking what if the Ninth Circle was more of a lab than a "school". Still a cult but y'know the vibes are a bit different. They catch the two running away and threaten to shoot Marina if she doesn't turn Samarie back in. Marina refuses, they shoot, Samarie takes the shot for her but unfortunately they just shoot Marina anyways afterwards.

Somewhat luckily Samarie was close enough with the Gods to make some sorta deal with Rher specifically (for arguments sake let's pretend in this au Rher is still semi close with humans). Marina and her would be allowed to live and be resurrected, in exchange for.. Well idk yet. I was thinking something to do with Moonscorching. Maybe every night they turn, or every few days, full moon, you know something like that.

So they're brought back to life, but both have MUCH stronger magic. Not only that but Samarie doesn't feel as sick as she used to be. The two later on realize they're stereotypical ✨️magical girls✨️ and fight against "villains" ig. The villains would be actual enemies from the games. Uhh I might add other characters to this au later on, but for now it's just my own little corny ship indulgent au so yeah!

(Sorry for any grammar errors I am tired lol)

Actual Headcanons:

Samarie uses a Star themed staff while Marina uses a Moon themed staff. I just thought it fit their souls aesthetic wise!

Samarie has extremely powerful magic, but is a terrible fighter. She's clumsy, messy, and a nervous wreck. Marina is a bit weaker magic-wise, but is wayy better in combat. She's more confident, focused, and skilled.

I think it'd be funny as shit to make Black Kalev their little sidekick.

They're constantly saving eachother. Usually it's Marina saving Samarie, but if Marina is in danger Samarie fucking kicks ass. She's still a crazy girl after all.

They have more stereotypical sparkly magic cuz.. Well magical girl. But they can still use other canon spells. It's just less convenient.

Their staffs will transform when they do. When they're not in their combat fits the staffs both turn into crystals. Both wear them around their necks like necklaces.

They can't use the gifted magic without the staffs. Basically they're witches in a way.

They do flirt on the battlefield cuz that's romantic imo. It's more Marina flirting and Samarie being a gay mess but that still counts!

In this au they're not dating (yet). Samarie obviously has a massive crush (or obsession) with Marina, and again after becoming friends Marina develops a crush back on her.

This has nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with the au, Samarie has autism. I didn't know where else I'd share that hc so taking my chance rn.

Samarie still isn't used to the outfit change. Especially Marina's outfit (she is a lesbian disaster).

They rest and cuddle together after long battles. It'd be cute okay?

I might add more later (in which case I will post), and yes this is out of character. Sorry abt that. Uhh also I've never seen a magical girl anime. Like ever! I want to. I really wanna watch a few, just haven't gotten around to it.

[starabsol]

lesbian eevees

i had an eeveelution squad phase back in like 2016-2017. so i was a pretty young child, basically. young but i had so much lore and stuff going on for some silly eeveelution sonas i made when i was like 7. i kind of left them behind, but since they’re such big comforts at the same time i redesigned them about a year and a half ago.

here is another post where i redrew one of my old eeveelution ocs, showers!

however, today, i decided to go ahead and draw my mains (and my fav eeveelutions) booster the flareon and glacia the flareon! they are lesbianz~ at first i never gave glacia and booster proper genders, mainly glacia, since booster was supposed to an insert of myself somewhat, and i’m a girl. but i didn’t want to make glacia a guy. besides, another character who was interested in booster, sylvia the sylveon was also a girl. but since booster was supposed to be an insert, i didn’t want make her a guy either. unfortunately little me didn’t know stuff like homosexuality existed. but now i do! and since it does, i decided to make them happy in love lesbians.

it doesn’t look like booster is looking glacia’s way, but she is, okay? her little bangs are hanging in front of her eyes. about that actually, boosters only interesting design quirk is that her head flare fluff thing is upside down. n the green streak through her yellow fur! ^_^

glacia’s front of her chest was frozen and you can see the nasty marks it left. but booster loves that about her! not to mention she has a cool thing with ice shards hanging around her. my vocabulary isn’t as good so i can’t be as clear as i’d like to be haha

here, uh, is the original drawing. listen though, i was like, seven, okay? booster looks cute but glacia’s head is kinda….. chubby. which is funny cuz now i designed booster to be chubbier and fluffier and glacia is slimmer and less fluffy, though the fluff she has is long and silky ^.^

boosters reworked design^^

glacias reworked design^^

[ctheathy]

HI! I was wondering if you could do a secret history tail with a reader who has a smart mouth (not like cussing but like making sassy remarks to him!) and has their guard up all the time and acts all tough and mean around him (but ofc has a rush on him and she tries to ignore it) but when he teases them or shows them the tiniest bit of affection there like tail wagging putty in your hands!

Secret History Tails w/ bold yet shy!Darling

Secret History Tails x Reader

General+Fluff Headcanons

Short Concept

Author’s note : Thank you for the request, my dear~! My sincere apologies in case the request was aiming at a oneshot instead [You may of course just ask for another one if I did in fact make that mistake]. I apologise in advance of it being somewhat shorter than my usual posts as well, I unfortunately do not hold a lot of sass myself so this was a more difficult one I must say, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!

Ooh, my; toying with your limits around an unstable maniac, huh? You’re playing on quite the thin ice there, darling.

Due to no specific choice being given,, SH Tails from TSAA was chosen.

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Mentions of murder [No implications though]

My, my. You surely are a fascinating thing, aren’t cha? But Tails is nothing less himself either. Usually he’d be one to just rid of those who cause him trouble, either through executing them by getting his grabby fingers onto their devices or just with his bare hands if he has to, but for your case he ... Doesn’t. He cannot get himself to go along with it and deep down surely doesn’t truly want to either way anyways. Besides, he feels incredibly intrigued by you. He’s grown quite the sass through straightforwardness over the years himself aswell, so a darling who isn’t afraid to bite right back at his indirect insulting makes him feel taken aback at first, yet also makes it feel like a massive challenge for the yellow fox.

At a usual basis, he honestly found you to be quite the “issue’’ from first glance, finding your tough persona to be rather arrogant at times. He is shown to be outright self-assured himself, so seeing another who has similar characteristics, much less let them be very well known torwards him was causing quite the complication at first hand, making it difficult for the two of you to bond properly. He has mixed feelings about the entire thing. While he’d usually find your mere act of toughness and smart behaviour funny, there’s always been atleast some moments where it got to him on a deeper level, feeling as if it was your goal to ruin his entire day. And while he’d usually just be one to outwardly laugh your remarks off, you could clearly notice the more silent and irritated presence he had to offer right afterwards, quietly grumbling nonsense to try and restrain himself, knowing just as well as you do that he cannot truly do much about it without blowing his cover. He doesn’t hate you, he knows that much; but good Lord, did your sass-o-meter really have to be that high? It rarely seemed to have it’s limits at all and it has made it incredibly difficult for the fox to recognise his emotions around you.

With the information I’ve gotten, I immediately enjoyed and went with the assumption that his manipulation has little to zero effect on a wise yet bold darling. And the fact you manage to keep your guard up right while at the same time being as cheeky as ever, he’s seems to be a bit powerless in this position. He takes up so much time toying with the crew’s emotions and thinking that an unique perspective like yours could be difficult for even him at times. While I trust that you’re definitely one to be one step ahead of his less friendly intented plans and are experienced among outsmarting his inventions, it’s still suggested you’re very careful with what you do, as he’s still quite the danger nonetheless. You’re both intelligent ones, that’s for sure, which bothers him but also pulls him torwards you in a way. He’s impressed, that’s to say the least.

The first time he genuinely figured you out was purely on accident. He was working on one of his little gadgets while you came by uninvited; sassing about how you could get the the job done with much faster than he could. And while he knew you were just bragging, as realistically, you likely lacked knowledge among the subject; he found himself having quite the rough day to begin with, having felt extra irritated by your cocky nature much more than he would any regular moments, usually finding it humourous more than anything. But he couldn’t help but feel his patience starting to reach its limits with you making yourself out to be much, much bigger than your true self actually is. Fingers tightened on his screwdriver with his left eye starting to get to the point of twitching; the cup being just seconds away from overflowing. Everything what happened after went by like a lighting shock to you. You found him pinning you against a nearby working table of his, his face being way too close for comfort as you struggled keeping your own at bay; a red-pinkish tint starting to form its way onto your cheeks, who quickly starting working its way up to the rest of your face. Though shock had still remained in your eyes, an awkwardly dorky smile got its way plastered onto your lips. In all honesty saying, you were a mess. While being completely frozen in place at first, you quickly made a sad attempt to cover up your expression in the red mess you’ve become, looking to the side and trying to avoid the very astonished yet surprisingly loving look on the fox’ facial features. Surely you were going to have trouble sleeping the night after this.

But that is not the specific thing that saved you from getting your mobile being blown up in your face.

I can also see him going out of his way to fluster you to no end, having grown to enjoy the messy expression on your features every time he does so. He of course makes sure to keep your boundaries in mind and isn’t one to purposely push you too far over the edge, but it has definitely been clear he’s having the time of his life whenever you fall back into those little habits of yours. And while the two of you still have these little sass competitions with one another, although it being a whole lot more enjoyable this time, he’d absolutely use the excuse that he only takes up his time to flatter you in order to just keep you quiet for a good while. When honestly speaking, perhaps. Just perhaps.

Right after you’ll notice him being a whole lot more softer torwards you in general. After your particular moment of weakness, he’s one alot quicker to pick up on any minor given signs about your genuine intentions around him. He takes the hint when small gestures of kindness are given, which you have absolutely been extremely grateful for. The fox is definitely one to be a whole lot more patient around you, not wanting to rush anything you’d may want to share with him eventually; but somewhere in the back of his head even he knows that he personally cannot wait for your true thoughts about him to spill right out. He’s clearly been much more appreciative and excited when being in your presence than he ever has before, now starting to understand the goal behind your cool demeanour. There’s even been a point where he had thought that you hated him with every inch of your body, so despite how this occasion has still caught him by surprise, he’s definitely not one to complain about it.

He doesn’t want to admit to himself he finds you extremely charismatic and adorable this way.

[bandtrees]

Also Mingus. Of course

SEND ME A CHARACTER!!

MINGUS!!!!!!!! OF COURSE. under the cut lol

Sexuality Headcanon: bi :] it's ourple just like her. i don't think she especially cares for romance or ponders her sexuality much, but in less of an "arospec" way and more of a "forming human connection with her is a losing battle" way. i usually love arospec hcs and do see aro mingus somewhat often but it's just not something i really see myself.

Gender Headcanon: generally cis woman but i feel like if she learned what being nonbinary was she would try and release and trademark her own neopronouns and make people pay to use them. i do also see her being interpreted as transfem sometimes and i think that's a really interesting reading but not one that i actively subscribe to.

A ship I have with said character: ghghnmnnormingus. it's been really fuckin funny watching the tides change in the fandom on this ship - for a while i'd pondered it but never said anything, and then there was the time period where it was considered a weird cursed minority and i got vagueposted about it, and THEN mich came and singlehandedly pilled the masses and now its just, like, a ship. funny how that goes. but all of that talk aside, i just think they have so much potential in, like, every stage of their dynamic. the timeframe where norm's consumed by his completely one-sided obsession (/neg) with her is SO fun to think about, as is the idea post-canon of them forging a more normal relationship and possibly more. they're two of dialtown's most intricately-written characters imo, and it really shows in how layered all of their interactions are :'] there is so much baggage between them and simultaneously so little (with the point of "norm cares way more about her opinion of him than she even thinks about him") and it just makes the final confrontation of ch3 pay off so damn well. listen to nemeses by jonathan coulton it's THE normingus song to me. ⬇ SOOO ch3 norm @ mingus to me

A BROTP I have with said character: god her dynamics with all the mingling are so funny, i could listen to that group of people babble on literally forever. i wanna hear them talk about non-green related issues i want to hear what this room sounds like when its time to argue about, idk, taxes

A NOTP I have with said character: dialtown does not have that many options for edgelord proshittery but i have seen efforts at the one(1) they have. Unfortunately .

A random headcanon: always has some kind of headwear on, whether it be her trademark little hat or other ones she has made for her, or headbands or headscarves or whatnot. it's mostly cuz her head looks really off to me without the hat so i work in substitutes when im drawing or imagining her in more casual settings

General Opinion over said character: the height of dialtown's writing, her and everything to do with her. dialtown is already a good game but it goes from good to great when mingus takes center stage, imo. she's so interesting and also funny to watch - i think "seems silly but actually has deeper stuff going on"-type stories are best when the silly and the serious are tightly interwoven and you can't really distance them from eachother, and mingus is a great show of that as an inherently super tragic but also super funny character. there's not a word of dialogue she speaks where you don't get the impression of how pathetic and overcompensating she is, and that works both for humor and for sadness really well. i also like, in general, when typically "sympathetic" character flaws are played to be difficult or dangerous - in mingus' case her insecurity and desperation to follow in her grandfather's footsteps, and her compassion in wanting to be one of the only people left who still really care about him, it's objectively very noble- but less so when it becomes everyone else's problem rather than just hers. she has this in common with her grandfather 👍

[mariacallous]

The most-liked video in TikTok history shows a dark-haired woman making funny faces to her front-facing camera as she lip-syncs to a popular song. It’s held its position since 2020, but recently it’s encountered competition from another video, featuring … a dark-haired woman making funny faces to her front-facing camera as she lip-syncs to a popular song.

Australian influencer Leah Halton posted her simple, short video set to YG Marley’s “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” on February 5, nearly four years after the front-runner it’s trying to take down. Initially, it got a few million likes—not bad, but small potatoes by the standards of a platform with well over a billion monthly active users. Still, because TikTok’s algorithm doesn’t care how old a video is, it began to catch on, and soon its popularity skyrocketed. Over the month of April, it went from approximately 12 million likes to more than 49 million, making it one of the most popular videos in the app’s history.

Keeping track of the video’s growth is easy: Just look closely at its comment section. TikTok users have spent months posting its current metrics multiple times a day, comparing it to other popular videos as it makes its way up the list and exhorting people to spread it around so it can eventually become the most-liked TikTok ever.

At the moment, that goal seems unlikely. Since that enormous leap in April, growth has slowed, and as of July 1 it has gotten fewer than 3 million likes in the past two months. Those are still impressive numbers, but the current record-holder, a video by Bella Poarch, went from 64 million likes to 66 million likes in that same time frame, more than enough to keep her video at the top.

Poarch, an influencer and singer, set the record in 2020 with a video which has many similarities to Halton’s, from the hair and makeup style to the short, satisfying, and easy-to-mimic movements. At the time, Vox journalist Rebecca Jennings called the popularity of Poarch’s video “inexplicable,” but the success of her video and Halton’s—and the similarities between them both—provide indicators of what it takes to achieve virality on TikTok's somewhat abstruse platform. Jennings concluded that “young people centering their conventional attractiveness in easily repeatable formats” was “the logical endpoint” of TikTok. Unfortunately for Halton, once you’ve reached the end, there’s nowhere further to go, and once the novelty has worn off she’ll have to settle for the silver medal.

It’s a little odd to apply the logic of a race to the popularity of two very similar videos. Poarch and Halton (neither of whom responded to requests for comment) haven’t treated it as a rivalry, but in the comment sections of both videos, there’s a loose but fiercely devoted community formed around getting Halton’s video past Poarch’s. “Anyone here on July 1st?” read comments on Halton’s clip in at least six languages, each with a line of users replying “me!” “REMIND ME WHEN THIS HITS 67M!” says a user on Poarch’s video.

It would be easy to put this down to stan armies—established fans of these creators, clashing over the video in a kind of proxy war to glorify their community—but it’s not along such rigid lines. “Whenever there’s a way to quantify popularity online, there’s a group mentality that emerges,” says Kat Tenbarge, a reporter for NBC News who covers internet culture. “It’s something to be a part of.”

Indeed, this isn’t the first time a relatively innocuous post has become the most popular on a platform. In January 2019, an Instagram post with a stock photo of an egg received over 45 million likes in less than two weeks. It shattered Kylie Jenner’s record for the most-liked post in Instagram’s history thanks to a campaign from thousands of users sharing hashtags like #EggGang and #EggSoldiers.

WIRED deemed the egg “the last of a dying breed,” predicting that popularity campaigns from ordinary users, rather than professional influencers or brands, would get less and less traction “as social networks mature and develop more stringent business models.” Just two months later, in a milestone for corporate social media, the Indian music conglomerate T-Series definitively beat the streamer PewDiePie to become YouTube’s most-subscribed channel, despite a campaign from PewDiePie’s fans involving everything from hacking printers to marching in the streets.

Simply put, since viral popularity can be directly translated into money, there’s much less opportunity for it to happen for free. “Mainstream social media platforms have been solidified as global community spaces with outsized cultural impact,” says Tenbarge. “There’s clear value in dominating the metrics on these platforms, which creates an incentive for people to invest their time and care in such accomplishments, even if they don’t personally benefit from it.” Halton has an actual financial investment in her engagement numbers, but the campaign to boost them has already given the more casual users who started it what they wanted: a sense of community.

Beyond that, there’s the issue of how ephemeral TikTok can be. The algorithm that powers the app’s For You page is so good at finding engaging content that China has passed laws against selling it to potential US buyers, who are seeking to purchase the app after lawmakers passed legislation in April forcing its parent company ByteDance to divest from owning it or face a ban in America. The flip side of that algorithm’s power and intensity is that it blocks the more direct and organic forms of community that were the initial appeal of social networks to begin with.

With vanishingly few exceptions, every product, community, or figure with popularity credited to TikTok needs to establish a presence outside of the app to stick around and stay popular, or the relentless algorithm will drive it off people’s feeds. Stanley Quencher water bottles had huge success last year credited to the app, but this was years after they first took off thanks to a prominent review blog. Abigail Barlow, whose Bridgerton fan musical written on TikTok won a Grammy in 2022, had already released a successful single in 2020.

Poarch presumably understood this, quickly parlaying her proverbial 15 minutes of TikTok fame into a line of merchandise, a music career, and more. Halton is already following suit with a reality show appearance. Despite this, Halton’s video will never be able to catch up to Poarch’s without some major element outside TikTok, because it’s just that: a video. Unlike its creator, it can’t transcend the app.

For Halton’s video to break the record, there would need to be some massive, directed interest beyond the shallow sensory appeal that got the video so popular in the first place, which is next to impossible given how much emphasis TikTok places on algorithmic feeds over searching for specific content. The commenters on Halton’s video, who dutifully boost the clip and keep track of the numbers every day, are swimming against the currents that carry every single TikTok to their feeds.

With TikTok reportedly developing a new version of its algorithm to skirt the ban in the US, it’s worth keeping track of how that algorithm shapes what users see, especially how hard it is to work against. The thousands of comments keeping track of the most-liked videos on the platform show that people don’t always just want what the algorithm gives them, and the fact that they come back every day shows they want something that stays in their lives longer than the next swipe up.

[coolcattime]

if jordan and tom are there for the whole ghost capsize situation, it’d be really funny for jordan to just be like on martha’s side of the whole thing like “unfortunately she does have a point about this :/“ because he views her as the lesser of two evils (said evils being spark and a dead capsize 💀)

Oh YES 100% Jordan ends up with Martha on the side of “We should exorcise Capsize rather than revive her.”

He doesn't start out agreeing, since I really doubt he learnt the lesson of necromancy bad from Season Two and he definitely hasn't learnt that Capsize actively disliked him. But the seeds of frustration do get replanted almost immediately when ghost Capsize first appears and excitedly greets Tom first. He tries to write it off as her just knowing Tom had a piece of her soul and wanting to be reconnected with it. But that excuse quickly wears thin as (as in the actual ‘canon’ of my post timeline) Wag extends the binding of her spirit so she latch onto anyone in the group as opposed to being stuck with Spark. She still mostly sticks with Spark, but also appears often with Sonja and Tom. More noticeable, she avoids Jordan with the same fervour as she avoids Ruxomar Dianite and tends to harass him whether she is forced to be near him.

Jordan I think pretty quickly falls down the route of “Capsize isn't herself, if she's revived it'll just fail again.” And very reluctantly agreeing with Martha that they should instead just try to put her soul to rest.

Now, I think Spark and Jordan's relationship is interesting. In my actual post timeline, Spark isn't meant to dislike Jordan, even if he has the occasional resentful thought about the events of Season Two, he mostly sees Jordan (and the rest of Season One champions and the pirates) in the same vein as he sees Alyssa and Andor: people with the weight of the world thurst onto them way too young. Jordan sees this as condescending and also assumes that Spark does genuinely and actively resent him for the events of Season Two due to his own guilt over the loss of Ianite. And I think with Jordan and Tom being introduced alongside all the others while Capsize is still dead, makes their opinions of each other worse.

Spark sees the way Jordan gets so quickly frustrated with Capsize and his flip towards not reviving her and it doesn't exactly leave the best impression. Especially when said attitude is mixed with Capsize already having a clear dislike towards Jordan (which Spark now has somewhat of an explanation for), he ends up outwardly frustrated with Jordan now.

Meanwhile Jordan sees how Capsize interacts with Spark, being noticeably friendlier than she treats him. And I think he kinda jumps back into his Season One behaviour. But less that Spark is “Mr Steal Your Girl” and more like Spark has stolen his position as champion. Because Capsize seems to love him and Ianite is very clearly on board with reviving Capsize and appreciates Spark helping to do so.

Basically there is A LOT of tension between Jordan and Spark even before Jordan fully joins Martha in the opinion of let's not revive Capsize.

Now, there is a very particular scene within the canon of my post timeline that I have not written yet but is very important to the ghost Capsize section. Namely when Martha actually goes to Spark to suggest that they try to exorcise Capsize rather than revive her.

This, for obvious reasons, turns into a massive mess as, despite Spark and Martha both staying relatively calm, Capsize is there and listening. Capsize being there wouldn't have particularly mattered if Martha didn't say: “We should let her rest, go to whatever afterlife is waiting for her.”

The latest living memories Capsize has at this point are the event of Chapter One of Third Time's the Charm. So the idea of moving onto her actual afterlife ends with her lashing out in fear and using an ability I believe I've mentioned in a previous ask: forcing people to relive her memories. Martha and Spark both ends up reliving the events of Third Time's the Charm Chapter One and Capsize herself ends up hiding and refusing to actual show herself for about a week.

The reason I bring up that scene is this ask gave me the idea for the equivalent scene this AU of my own AU that ends up a bigger mess because of the key differences being:

- Jordan insists that he go and try to persuade Spark.

- Spark doesn't have the same desire to speak calmly with Jordan as he did with Martha.

- Jordan doesn't have the same desire as Martha to not yell at Spark.

- Capsize has another fragment of her soul from Tom and therefore has more control over her ghostly form and abilities

So basically it devolves into a honestly quite vicious argument between Spark and Jordan that ends up barely about Capsize and more just the two laying into each other. When Jordan says something that seems to genuinely upset Spark, Capsize ends up angry enough to purposely lash out at Jordan and force him to experience her memories of him. She then proceeds to poltergeist and not let anyone near the unconscious Jordan until Tom and Sonja arrive and manage to calm her down (Spark was not attempting to calm her down).

I don't know the exact fallout this causes, other than a whole mess, but you did give me a very good idea of a scene that would happen in this version of the timeline and I hope you enjoyed it ^-^

[lmk-monkiesibs-au]

as promised, here are this au's designs for half of the stalwart generals of flower fruit mountain!

let's begin with the marshals!

info on them under the cut!

up first, Ma!

she's the youngest (and shortest) of the Stalwart Generals, and based off a lar gibbon. her main color is green (duh), and metals are always silver (because op loves color-coding stuff).

personality wise, i envision her as more of a playful type. she's funny and a little chaotic, and really popular amongst the island's youngsters. she tends to be pretty blunt at times and isn't afraid to speak her mind when the situation calls for it. usually, Ma's pretty quick to drop any pretenses of formality amongst her fellow generals — she sees her responsibility as huaguoshan's marshal less like a burden and more like being part of the King's extended family (which, let's be honest, it kind of is). she's rated a 6 out of 10 in mihou's uncle/aunt scale. only because she's a liiitle too loud for him

her weapon of choice is a shangshou dadao — basically, a real big sword. how does she wield it considering she's really short? she's got loooong arms. where does she store it? think something like Azure Lion's sword — it's got a magic pocket dimension of it's own. or something.

she's unlikely besties with Liu. sorry I don't make the rules.

next up, Liu!

he's like. the second tallest of the generals, and looks-wise, mostly based off on new gods: nezha reborn version of wukong — while some other elements, like the red marking on his face come from snow macaques. his main color is teal, and metals (except for his jian) are champagne gold.

personality wise, Liu is very stern and reserved. he's extremely serious about his "job" as marshal and scarily orderly in everything he does. he might seem a little cold or distant at first, but he would kill and die for anyone he cares about (which, somewhat unfortunately, includes the entirety of ffm's inhabitants in one way or another). pretty soft spoken, Liu literally cannot raise his voice past a certain volume — that doesn't stop him from being the biggest gossip around. and that puts him down as a solid 9 out of ten in mihou's uncle/aunt scale. he's absolutely aware of that fact and cherishes it, even if he could not care less at first.

Liu's weapon of choice is the Jian. another type of sword, that while not as flashy as Ma's, certainly does its job. everything about it is pretty traditional; he's even got a whole scabbard getup for it, a tassel for tying at the pommel, et cetera, et cetera.

anyway, that's about it for the marshalls! next are generals Beng and Ba. they very much are developed but there's no art ready yet D: keep an eye out for them, because they will be posted too...eventually!

[radiation]

did you play any game(s) recently that you enjoyed? not just wondering about rpg games but i saw the rpg games post and am excited to look at some of the suggestions on that one myself.

I played Content Warning w some of my friends and it was dope. Love to be a funny guy with a T_T face and make funny ass videos not much more to say than that. Played The Midnight Scenes - From The Woods and had a good time with it, its a short horror game and its got the rare quality where like. I felt they somewhat dropped the ball on the story & the horror aspect but the character writing was so incredibly charming that it made up for it.

Also just finished watching my buddy play through Mother 3 and I liked it toooooo although you may be surprised to hear it wasnt quite my thing. Not what was asked but Im gonna expand on some of my thoughts about it here cuz why not

With how unbelievably obsessed I was with Earthbound as a kid, I was hoping Mother 3 would stir up the same kinda love and become an all time favorite game of mine but unfortunately it did not. I think I prefer Earthbound to Mother 3 the same way that I preferred Anodyne 1 to Anodyne 2 where it's like. If you're iterating on a formula in the pursuit of a more cohesive and serious story throughout the entire game, then you have to REALLY commit and REALLY succeed for me to be on board because otherwise I'll nitpick like hell. And I felt like in some ways, for the story Mother 3 was trying to tell, it was a bit noncommittal, with some parts going on for a bit too long, some locations having a bit too little thought put into them, some sections not quite as Committed to the Bit as I'd like them to be or not quite as dark as they could be, some characters lacking just enough development for me to really feel it. All of these things culminating in me lacking immersion in the game's world. I think I'm likely to be a lot more charitable towards games like Earthbound w less of a story focus and more random ass funny ass shit going on even if the gameplay is kinda ass, cuz lighthearted playfulness colors flaws with a certain amount of charm and flavor rather than directly detracting from the experience. Exception to this is I prefer Deltarune to Undertale because Deltarune's writing kicks so much ass that it completely sidesteps all of the issues I tend to have. Anyways Mother 3 is still very very good but Im dat crazy ass narrative / characterization guy so I can be hard to please

[pixellangel]

storyteller synthesis inter-party dynamics!!!! WOOHOOOO

so. for those who don't know, im making a little cyberpunk rpg called storyteller synthesis!! ive already said a bit about the individual party members, but i haven’t really mentioned their interpersonal dynamics yet, so here's that post!!

masterpost with all other info is here :3

(from left to right, this is sylvie, v, xenon, and kori!!)

its a little long, so i put it under the cut!! :D

so sylvie is a pretty typical silent protagonist type. they want to be friends with everyone else in the party and have the usual rpg protag affinity for breaking random stuff. she thinks v is a little weird but they trust her, she appreciates xenon's rebelliousness, and she likes hanging out and being silly with kori :] there's really not much to her because she's supposed to be what is literally just a vessel for the player to experience the story, even in-universe

v has a real "i hate it here when can i go home" vibe tbh. she does not actively want to participate in the story, except to get it over with and get the original sylvie back instead of protagonist sylvie. she tries to stay somewhat detached. she misses original sylvie so hanging out with protag is kind of bittersweet for her, and she sometimes forgets its not the same person she knew as a kid. she likes that xenon is pretty quiet and thinks he's easy to hang out with. she only grabbed kori for the team because she was the fight club champion and that seemed useful, but she gets kind of annoyed with her general happy-go-lucky attitude. v is pretty edgy asdfdhgkljl

xenon is the mysterious coolguy of the group. talks the least out of everyone. he is very closed and defensive when sylvie and v first meet him, but he opens up little by little as they explain the situation to him. by the time they meet kori, they've opened up a lot more already. he likes talking to sylvie because she's what he views as "mysterious" and worth investigating, but he also respects her a lot as a person and wants to help her out. thinks v is kind of a weirdo?? but he also understands her feelings after she explains her situation. SUPER HIGH respect level for kori, weirdly enough. despite her general vibe of not caring and having fun, she's an excellent fighter so she deserves to be respected. unexpected joke buddy for her.

kori is so silly!!! she has trauma too but she ignores it and is silly instead!! usually the one to make jokes about the situations the party finds themselves in. enjoys saying BONK as she hits things with her hammer. very much a performer, in a way similar to a tv personality. she's the last party member so she unfortunately gets less screen time, but she's pretty talkative so that kind of makes up for it. thinks that fighting is the quickest way to prove someone's worth (wow, biased much?) but realizes there's other ways... eventually. enjoys hanging out with sylvie cause they can bounce jokes off them and get a response, unlike v. she still thinks its kinda funny to bother v, but knows when to stop. xenon is her joke buddy :3 they're friends :33