#unfortunately i feel like every time i focus on one specific thing it never ends up on the exam

[mishkakagehishka]

they weren't kidding. sometimes you really should just check the pdfs on the online learning website

[muntitled]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐲 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐨𝐫

Summary: He wants to be your only one... the fact that you've barely said a word to each other is irrelevant.

Warnings: Language, Humor, Unedited, Fluff, Neighbours to fuck buddies to Lovers, Leehan as his own warning, Jealous!Leehan, Possessiveness, Smut +18 (Minors DNI), Cunnilingus, Needy sex, Grinding, Premature Orgasm, Masturbation, Degradation Kink, Rough Sex

He's wrecking so very badly, Send help

Donghyun was going about his day perfectly fine until he set his foot over the kitchen threshold, and the first trickle of a moan came in from the adjacent walls. He immediately recognized the very specific, very airy octave of your voice.

The panting, the gasps, the very scheduled short exhales that ran through the conduit of your throat. He tries to stare at the fish through the aquatic looking glass in peace, hoping to alleviate the sound of your moaning that continues to bleed from the insulation in the thin apartment walls.

He finds himself quite vexed which is incredibly rare for nonchalant, unbothered Donghyun. For the longest time he thought he was broken. Never being able to forge any special connection with anyone that didn't sport a fin or gills.

When he met you though…

“No-” Donghyun shakes his head, hoping the movement might wash away all the mental images threatening to implode his head in. The memory of your passionate, albeit short history as neighbourly fuckbuddies threatens to rear its ugly head… Donghyun tries to distract himself and these new and complicated feelings of jealousy (definitely jealousy) by focusing on the underwater scavengers swimming blissfully about their makeshift prison. Every time he tries, you moan a particularly loud ‘F-Fuck’, and now he's hard and damnit, he can't focus on the fish. Your moans ascend to a higher octave, an octave that gives him unfortunate flashbacks of the night he first met you.

Then, it had been him who drew those sounds from your throat.

Donghyun didn't always believe in fate but there was no other way to describe that evening. You would have both continued on as oblivious neighbours were it not for your roommate accidentally locking you out of your apartment for the 100th time. Donghyun reminisces on how he found you seated outside your door. A tipsy, blubbering mess.

Thinking that he wouldn't like to go to hell, Donghyun decided to pick you up from off the floor after inquiring whether you were comfortable with fish (he wouldn't like to invite any stranger into his apartment that was even a little bit hostile towards the fish) and thereafter, lumbered you over the threshold.

You had been mumbling about a variety of topics that Donghyun would kill to have you relay back to him right now, but one after the other, the topics dwindled into you enquiring about more alcohol. Claiming that you couldn't wait for your roommate on an empty stomach.

"Food," he had said in a deep and dreary monotonous voice, "If you're hungry, you should eat some food,"

"Food is boring," you whined.

"It really is," he found himself agreeing almost automatically.

"I have an even better idea," it was then, that you uncovered three bottles of soju from your purse with a conspiratorial drunken smirk on your face. The evening had inevitably ended with the both of you getting inebriated under the dim blue lights shining from his tank. And under those very same lights, while Donghyun droned on about the cardiovascular system of freshwater fish, your lips met his in a sloppy, unceremonious kiss.

He did not know this when you kissed him, but he would soon become obsessed with you. That could be the only thing he could describe this as.

"Ugh, how can you stand to listen to the sounds of our neighbors fucking," Donghyun is pulled from his reverie by Sungho who strolls into the kitchen. His roommate's messy head of hair is tipped back in distaste at the scandalous sounds emanating from the next door apartment.

"Neighbour." Donghyun says, "We only have one and she lives alone," Donghyun appears seemingly unperturbed by the sound of your moaning. If not for the subtle whitening of his knuckles against the tabletop upon which his fish tank sat, anyone could've sworn he didn't feel a thing.

"I don't even wanna know how you know that-" Sungho begins to rummage for his pots and pans, all while Donghyun drones on.

"I spoke to her. Once." Donghyun says "Only once. We had sex."

A clamouring of metallic utensils ring throughout the small apartment as Sungho whips his head around to stare at the monotonous boy with amazement.

"Is there anything you ever think of keeping to yourself?"

Donghyun ignores his statement, "But now she's doing that..." he says, in that same difficult-to-interpret, monotonous voice. Donghyun gestures to the blank wall that divided the apartments, "With whoever that is..." A tense silence prolongs before Donghyun; quite suddenly, stands up. "Should I go over there?"

Sungho's shakes his head as he says, "You should absolutely not go over there-"

"I think I should go over there," He's already backing out of his chair, bidding the fish goodbye.

"Donghyun, I will disown you as a member of this apartment if you go over there-"

"It'll be quick,"

"Donghyun."

He's not sure why he'd wanna torture himself, nor did he care to know. All Donghyun is concerned with is the sound of your pleasure being caused by someone else. Someone that isn't him. And so he thinks nothing of it as he drifts towards your door stationed right next to his and he knocks.

There is a bump of furniture and a swear until you're racking the door open, the very vision of pre-orgasm jitters. Donghyun observes you in this very familiar glow. Your eyes are wide and wayward. Your hands are fumbling with the belt of your robe and there's a slight tremor moving through your entire form. You may appear disheveled to any other passerby but to him, you were the very object of his desires.

When your eyes land on him, your shoulders deflate in an unimpressed stance. You are just in the middle of scolding him lightly as you say, “No, Donghyun, I don't wanna volunteer to clean the beach with yo-”

You're not able to finish your sentence because he's rushed towards you in an instant, capturing your lips against the soft plush pillows of his own, and your words die right then and there. He cradles your face with both hands and you yelp in shock as he nips at your bottom lip, all while pushing himself into your apartment.

“I didnt-” he whispers, unable to tear his lips fully away from yours, “I didn't come here for that-”

He mindlessly kicks off his shoes at the doorway which proves to be exceedingly difficult, given the fact that he's hellbent on keeping your lips attached.

“D-Donghyun-” you try to mumble but his lanky fingers curl into your cheeks, forcefully keeping you there. He kisses your roughly. So roughly it nearly knocks out every single sliver of sensibilities you had left. His tongue is long and eager as it drift over the outside of your lips and on the inside, seemingly wanting to eat you whole.

“Donghyun-”

“What-” he whines, stomping his socks-clad feet against the wooden floorboards. “Why are you ruining the moment?” He dips his head down to try and capture your lips once more, but now that you've escaped his forcefield, you've sobered up a bit.

“Why are you, in my apartment?!” It's the only thing you manage to say, with your hand pressed firmly against his sternum. You're both panting loudly. Both caught in a very dangerous state.

Donghyun swallows thickly.

For some reason, you drop your hand to grip your robe tighter, as if not trusting yourself to keep it on in his presence. It is a baby pink robe that Donghyun finds surprisingly erotic. With the scent of sex hanging in your living room, it was difficult not to find anything erotic. He sees you watching him with wide, baggy eyes. Those were erotic too.

“Donghyun.” You begin, with a voice lowered in warning. “Why are you here?”

He swallows once again before straightening his spine and running a hand through his mid length brown locks. He fights to regain some sense of control as he racks his brain for all every plausible excuse.

“So-” he clears his throat, “I'm a father of fish,”

“Famously,” you mock with the roll of the eye. He has to stop himself from kissing you again, choosing to lift his left hand to push down his right twisting in a fist at his side.

“And I’m thinking of adopting a few cichlids.”

“That doesn't explain why you kissed me?” Instead of answering your question, Donghyun ventures to stroll towards your couch as he says, “And the males, famously, cannot be put in the same tank as other aquatic fish. They're unnecessarily hostile and territorial,” he lowers himself fo your couch, “Kinda like you are right now,”

Before you shout at him, he continues

“And I was wondering if you have a spare fish tank around here by any chance.” he nods his head, throughly please with his awful lying skills, “Thats why I'm here.” Donghyun’s eyes are still coasting around your apartment, waiting to hear the voice of the male that was making you moan so loud just a second ago.

“You expect me to just have a fish tank?” You deadpan, “By chance?”

“I don't think my question was so difficult to understand.” Donghyun watches you with a cocky open mouth smirk as he pushes his back against your couch, “This conversation would've been wrapped up so easily if you just-”

“Well, thanks for the weird nature lecture,” you're charging towards him, robe billowing. He sits up, excited. “And the kiss-”

“We could do that again if you want-”

“But I have to study, Donghyun, and you're distracting me,”

You're latching onto his forearm, hellbent on pulling him off your couch but Donghyun digs his other hand into the seat, letting it act as an anchor, keeping him there.

It is then, that your hot pink vibrator rolls out from underneath a cushion and right against the side of his hand.

You stop your pulling.

He stops his mumbling protests.

You both stare down at your vibe sitting comfortably against his hand in the dip of the couch.

“I-”

“Studying, huh?” the smugness in his voice is borderline sadistic. Now it's your turn to scan your brain for every possible way you could detangle yourself from this web of embarrassment. “I like this kinda studying-”

“Donghyun-”

“Leehan-”

“Whatever.” You sigh wistfully, “Just, get out, please.”

“So you don't want my help then?” The question rocks you to your core, a core which you unfortunately realise is still soaked and begging for release. You were just on the precipice of diving headfirst into your orgasm when the knock on the door came and you were overflowing with anxiety. Honestly, being bombarded with a kiss from the weird guy next door shouldn't have been as pleasant as it had been, but your needs evidently took priority of your senses.

“H-Help?” Your voice is barely above a whisper, “How?”

“Lemme show you,” he whispers with all the allure of a Disney prince, and the sensuality of a crimson ribbon. He wraps his hand around your forearm; twirling you quite ceremoniously into his lap.

“You must be so needy right now,” He whispers into your ear while he moves at snails pace, to lower your back against the couch, “I promise to be so good. Better than last time-”

“We were drunk,” you say, utterly captivated by Donghyun now peppering kisses along your legs. He makes his slow descent down the hill of your thighs, while everything in him craves to just attach his lips to your clit until you're riding his face dismally.

Donghyun groans then into the open air. “Fuck, I wanna eat you out,” he admits gravely. He lifts his eyes, hoping to relay to you just how badly he wanted this.

“We were drunk then, so let me do a better job now, ‘kay?” Donghyun rubs dizzying circles against your stomach, still very much covered by your robe.

“O-Okay-” You whisper your consent and it completely throws him over the edge. You yelp when Donghyun grabs ahold of your calves, almost immediately fighting your leg over his shoulder as if your weight was nonexistent.

“Don't blame me if I like… cum in my pants or something, alright?” He says, lowering his face to your exposed as he spready your legs wider.

“P-Please just eat me out, Donghyun,” you were asking him to as if you needed him. That thought solidified itself in his stomach and wrenches your panties to the side, immediately attacking your pussy with his puffy lips.

“F-FUCK, LEEHAN- NOT SO FAST-” Your hands fly to his locks. Your mouth hangs open and you watch in disbelief as he hums against your vagina.

“You called me Leehan-”

“You're- so-” A gasp steals itself from your throat as Donghyun sticks his tongue out to lick a thick strip up the length of your pussy, “s-trange.” you say, unable to chase his lips with your hips.

"You're so hot- fuck,” Donghyun immediately shifts onto the floor so he’s kneeling before you. Your cunt weeps for him and he gladly obliges.

“What a leaky little girl,” he whispers, instantly feeling your hips stutter upwards, “You like that? You like it when I call you my leaky fucking girl-”

You're moaning again, and Donghyun can't help but smirk.

“Y-You're such a pretty little slut, you know that?” Donghyun Isn't sure where that came from, but he's rutting into the couch now, at the same pace you're fucking his face and he knows he needs to say it.

“Oh my fucking God- Donghyun!” You're utterly amazed. Amazed because you didn't remember your last time with Donghyun being so visceral. You nearly see stars when he wiggles his tongue against your entrance, begging for entry.

“F-Fuck my face, baby,”

“D-D-” His name is lost in your mouth and you're lost at the sight of him kneeling for you, fucking helplessly against the couch as he kisses your cunt oh so sloppily. You slip into your orgasm with a shallow gasp and Donghyun's eyes flutter closed, smooching your pussy in pure fucking bliss. He's mumbling incoherently info your cunt, telling her soft nothings until his own hips stutter-

“G-God your pussy is so precious,” he whispers, “So fucking precious-”

You're breathing heavily, but Donghyun decides he's not done as he rises from between your legs. Through your half-lidded gaze, you can spy the wet spot against his sweatpants, and yet he still seems driven by lust. That was one thing you did remember from your last encounter. Once you had Leehan revved up, it was nearly impossible to turn him off.

“I wanna fuck you,” he says monotonously while already pulling at the drawstring of his sweatpants, “I wanna fucking merge into you, L-Like a fucking anglerfish-” he lowers himself on top of you, “D'you know that once the males find a suitable female they merge into-”

“Give me five seconds.” You beg, still in the process of catching your breath, "Or fifteen,"

© to @mphountitled on tumblr; do not repost

[imperatorrrrr]

Can you please do NICO HISCHIER SCHOLARS REPORT part 2?

I'm sorry this is so incredibly late, Anon, but let's go.

So we're going to be doing a deep dive into this Nico Hischier interview from Summer 2021. (Fair warning, these interviewers are...annoying ahahah to say the least, and sometimes do not shut up, but there are some gems from this.) I feel like I haven't seen a lot of content from this video, so I thought it might be a good one to share and also discuss...

First things first, Nico's giving this interview from Switzerland, and from the way he's positioned, I'm going to say he's giving this interview lying on his bed or something. The phone is facing up towards the ceiling and he's kind of facing the phone on top? Like I guess he could have laid the phone flat on a desk of some kind? Regardless, its an interesting choice of positioning to give an interview!

Fun Fact! This is Nico's first time meeting "Mike" and this Mike person ends up being someone that Nico stays connected with. Do you guys remember the sauna pictures and videos from this past season? That was courtesy of this very same Mike.

We all know Nico played a variety of sports growing up, but we learn here that Nico also played tennis, which I think is a new one to add to the list as well as swimming, skiing, and eventually switching to snowboarding.

Nico lived with a billet family. There's a great article that details that. Check it out here.

From youth, Nico was playing hockey with guys older than him.

"I had a really good season there" - big smile when talking about Halifax

He's still in touch with his Halifax teammates.

There's a bit in this interview, which unfortunately gets cut off due to connectivity issues, but basically Nico's asked about whether he was given a hard time by anyone bigger/older than him and I think his answer pretty much sums up the philosophy he has in the NHL now. "It never bothered me...these guys who were talking shit about me, I just didn't care, and just kept going."

"I had fun. Still now, I just have fun playing hockey and hanging out with the guys." - This quote I think is the epitome of Nico Hischier. Like, throw it back to Nico's pre-game speech before one of the playoff games "remember to have fun". That's Nico's entire hockey essence. And then throw it back to the win streak in the 22-23 season "this is the most fun playing hockey I've ever had". He just wants to hang out with his boys and have a good time.

Nico did a little bit of high school while he was in Canada.

One of the interviewers calls Nico "mister easy going, always playful". One of the times Nico met this man, he did a back flip off a bench in the gym. Like, thats Nico Hischier. He's not always mister serious, he's not always Nico Hischier Resting Face™️. He's just a silly little guy.

On Expectations: "I always try to keep that on the outside, always try to focus me on myself...I'll try my best every game, if its not enough its not enough...sacrifice myself for the team...at the end of the career, I obviously want people to say that he was a great player, but its almost like a little bit more important for me to have people say that I was a great teammate, I was a great guy to hang around with, lots of fun. This is my goal a little bit." Like how can you not love the guy?!

There's a whole bit about Nico taking a puck to the face (this was when PK Subban's shot hit Nico in the face back in the February 2021). He talks about the surgery and the actually medical procedures involved. I'm not going to get into the specifics here in case folks are squeamish, but just an FYI its in the interview. If you're not squeamish its very interesting, but trust me you want to skip that part if you are. He goes into detail.

One of the things Nico enjoys the most about playing hockey is the traveling to other cities.

What do you attribute your success to? Nico talks about his family that always supported him. Talent isn't all you need, you need to work hard as well. He talks about how he did things that maybe have been considered "weird" by his peers. When he was fourteen/fifteen he went to Pilates once a week with his sister. He was the only guy in the class. Loves to try new things. If you're not having fun then its not worth it.

Sidenote for anyone wondering about the Devils jersey hanging above Nico? Fairly certain thats a Patrik Elias jersey. If you wanna be in your feels for a bit.

"I do believe in our team. I'm just excited about what's coming up." - this was summer 2021. He has believed for a while that this team has it in them to compete truly.

Nico's inability to say the word "rivalry" will always always always make me smile.

"I want to put the team in front of me."

So during this entire interview, the two hosts are cursing throughout, and near the end Nico says "fuck" and immediately apologizes.

Nico believes he was picked as Captain for the person he is off the ice. "I'm an easy going guy. I don't really have a problem with anyone. I'm just guy you can have fun with. You can come over to my place. We can have a couple of beers, talk about anything, doesn't have to be hockey. If I see a friend is not playing his best, I'm not trying to fuck with him, I'll go talk to him. I'll try to help him."

One of the interviewers ends the interview by saying "you're a special dude"

And that's that. Tried something different with this edition of Nico Scholars, so I hope ya'll liked it.

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

Ragnor as the TWP Gang’s Warlock

Artist: @cassandrajean

A vague expression passed over Malcolm’s face. “I can’t remember precisely. Magnus, stop bothering Emma and Julian,” he said, and there was a tinge of something like annoyance in his voice. Professional jealousy, Emma guessed. “This is my domain. You’ve got your own hopeless humans in New York.” - Lady Midnight

Anyway, back to breakfast and the knock on the door. It was Ragnor, looking a sprightly shade of green, like an English meadow. He sailed right past Julian and began inspecting the drapes. Well, he was probably inspecting something magical, like the curse, but to me it looked like he was inspecting the curtains and the wallpaper. Maybe he’s thinking of decorating his own place. Or maybe he was just giving Julian some time alone with Ty, because Ty was still standing on the stairs, with a duffel bag over his arm, looking adorably awkward. - Secrets of Blackthorn Hall

Bruce, I swear at one point Ragnor told a joke in Coptic and Ty laughed. They’re hardcore over there at the Scholomance. Maybe too hardcore for me. - Secrets of Blackthorn Hall

So, judging from The Dark Artifices and The Mortal Instruments, it seems like every book's gang of characters has a specific warlock that they trust more than any other. I know Magnus is very prominent in both of TMI and TDA but TDA had an extra focus on Malcolm (unfortunately). I know the focus on Malcolm was due to the resurrection of Annabel but I feel like TWP might have a new warlock that they trust: Ragnor Fell. Ragnor doesn't show much affection to anyone but he seems to at least have a bit of a soft spot for Ty. Ragnor let him portal to Blackthorn Manor with him, was sensitive to giving him time with Julian, and has even joked with him in Coptic. I feel like this will lead to Ty leaning on a Ragnor a bit, and subsequently the whole TWP gang, throughout the series. Besides his familiarity with Ragnor there is also the fact that Magnus is married to the Consul and they'll almost definitely be breaking Clave rules on their quests.

However, there is another Warlock that might be extra inclined to help them...

Artist: @lariablog

"Catarina gave me a hot water bottle too," Ty said. He reached into the box and unwrapped the bundle of blanket enough to put the hot water bottle in as well. Then he began to drip water onto the lynx's mouth until the was wet all around its face. - Ghosts of the Shadow Market He was lying in bed in the infirmary, looking very pale. Catarina Loss was by his side, and a boy that Livvy recognized from Ty's classes. Anush. - Ghosts of the Shadow Market

I have been putting together a curriculum with the help of Prof. Loss, aimed in the direction of of investigation and detection. - Ty in Secrets of Blackthorn Hall

"I took Ephraim to America and raised him there. He never knew what he was or who he was. He was a happy boy, a good boy. He was my boy." - Catarina in Ghosts of the Shadow Market

Catarina Loss. Catarina seems to be very supportive of Ty at the Scholomance but she also has plenty of connections to Kit, even though both of them may not realize it yet. With Kit being the Lost Heir, Catarina raised and protected his great-something grandfather and would probably feel a connection with Kit. Like Ty, she also seems to trust Anush. I can picture Anush aiding Ty in TLKOF by finding information for him at the Scholomance while he's on his roadtrip with Ty which Catarina could help with. Catarina seems to be an especially nurturing person, I feel like she might disapprove of some of the things that the gang may do but I feel like at the end of the day she would help them.

I honestly hope it works out that Catarina is their main Warlock. To me, she's one of the coolest characters in the whole series and I wish her story could be explored more in TWP. I guess we'll have to wait to find out!

I would love to hear your thoughts/theories on this :)

Artist: @cassandrajean

Beatiful Ragnor and Catarina art to finish a post that's a bit long! Thanks for reading to here, I hope you have a great day :)

[cheezeybread]

Anon McGee with an actual request this time [once again not pertaining to any actual game things, unfortunately, but I'm working on it LMAO. Twisting Wonderland will not be forgotten about, I prommy]

Starting to think about different kinds of mythologies and I've absolutely fallen in love with the idea of Selkies! And as a result, it only came naturally that the thought would come up of the Octavinelle trio with a reader who's a selkie!

For additional context on that if needed [both for yourself and for other people reading this], Selkies come from Celtic Folklore and are, watered down [haha], people who wear sealskins in order to turn into seals. Generally, I think they're described as being super kind and gentle, as opposed to other creatures of mythology you often hear of.

Thinking mostly of it being something that got them put in Octavinelle because it was assumed they'd fit in better there than anywhere else in NRC. Specifically I'm thinking of the reader being a Monk Seal Selkie because those seals tend to live in warmer, tropical climates and that fits in pretty well with Azul and the Tweel's species as well, making the Octa-Dorms a pretty comfortable place for something like that. I'm also thinking that this wasn't exactly something that the reader tried to keep hidden, but it also isn't exactly spoken of super often until the reader potentially loses the seal skin and it traps them to the confines of the land [which doesn't sound all that bad in THIS situation as long as it's quickly resolved, but many Selkie stories focus on the idea of losing the skin and as a result of that, their identity and freedom they had before].

Something something, it turns out someone took it or something, probably not even for malicious reasons, just because they were curious about it, or maybe they were snooping and accidentally got something on it and were trying to discreetly clean it and return it. Whatever works, really, reader is panicked, maybe gets to show off the seal a bit after the fact, something fun and chill like that.

Also, entirely unrelated to that, but I offer you my playlist of Ghost songs that is entirely curated to my tastes, but I feel like it's a good way to ease yourself into it more [most definitely not attempting to indoctrinate you]

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2LWceY9cJfeLZOayhbuxbm?si=Px81gThlRQmFWHFRvQEQlg

AHHHH I LOVE SELKIES SO MUCH !!!! I remember first reading the stories about them and thinking "omg that would make for SUCH a good yandere plot- with someone who steals their coat so they can't go home, and then the stealer is all like 'lol sucks you can't leave now let's get married'", does that make any sense?? I dunno, I'm very tired right now!

And YIPPEE, I'm getting indoctrinated, I'd always hoped it would happen to me eventually! I'm gonna be listening to that playlist while writing this XD

◦•●◉✿✿◉●•◦

Octavinelle was known for being a generally quiet and calm dorm. Even the area in which the Mostro Lounge was is a fairly chill area, since there were very strict rules about fighting. The most that happened was an occasional yelp of terror as Floyd managed to corner one of his dorm members. Other than that, it was smooth sailing.

Except for today.

Almost everyone got woken up by a panicked, terrified screech.

It had ended almost as soon as it began, so most students chalked it up to be some sort of weird half-asleep dream- the others who believed it to be real sat up in their beds....before going right back to sleep of continuing on with their daily routine. After all, they didn't have to worry about anything dangerous happening with Azul and the Twins to safeguard the place.

And, speaking of the devils, the trio began their march through the halls, knocking and banging on every door to find the source of the mysterious sound.

When they got to your room, they found that although the door was unlocked, you never came to answer it.

"Maybe they're out in the bathrooms," suggested Floyd, already tired of this tedious task.

"Doubtful," remarked Jade under his breath "We checked there first, did we not? Surely we would have seen them heading to the bathrooms on our search, as well."

"Hush, you fools!" Azul hissed, leaning his head closer to the door, his eyes squinting as if that could help him hear better. "They're in here. I can hear them....crying, I think?"

"Oh, dear, well, if they're crying, we should allow them some time to-" Jade started, clamping his mouth shut as Floyd brought his leg up and kicked the door as hard as he could, flinging the piece of wood off of its hinges.

"KNOCK, KNOCK, SELKIE" He said with a proud grin, hands stuffed in his pockets casually.

"Dear Sevens, Floyd, I hope you know that's coming out of your paycheck," Azul looked disgusted as he viewed the once-beautiful white wood door splintered into two pieces, laying on the floor.

He focused his attention on the inside of your room, his body relaxing when he saw that there was no imminent danger, but then he winced when he saw you sitting on the floor in front of your closet, sobbing.

"Oops, didn't know you liked that door that much," Floyd said in an attempt to lighten the situation. You sniffled and tried to stop your crying, wiping your eyes as you looked up.

"Oh fu- geez, sorry, guys, I didn't think-" You stopped yourself, rubbing your eyes one last time before taking a shuddery breath "I'm sorry for screaming, I didn't mean- I didn't mean to...."

"Dear me, what's got you in such a sorry state?" Jade asked, placing a hand on his chin thoughtfully "We assumed the worst had happened. Octavinelle is not a place where one may use their outside voices, as you are well aware."

You glanced back into your closet again, the action making you want to start sobbing again "I lost it- no, someone took it....my coat."

"Coat's ain't that expensive, jus' get you another one, Selkie," Floyd shrugged, figuring the whole issue was solved.

Azul shook his head, going through the list of students in his mind's eye. He had made it a point to memorize the basic facts of all the members of his dorm, of course. It gave him the high ground in any situations, knowing of their weaknesses in academics, or background, or anything of the sort. He knew who YN was. "Wrong type of coat, Floyd. It's not one you can just purchase at Sam's store on campus."

"Ah, yes, they mean..." Jade made a motion with his hands to mimic putting on a coat, then swimming. It was a rather...silly pose to do, which made you chuckle a bit, despite the situation. Perhaps he had meant to do that.

"Exactly. Their coat. The one that allows them to change forms." Azul let out a small sigh, bordering on frustration "Sevens, I wish it were so easy for us, imagine not having to drink that awful bitter potion every day to retain legs....it could be just as easy as taking off a jacket, but no-" he cleared his throat, stopping himself "Apologies, YN. So I assume the missing 'coat' was your reason for such a disorderly cry not too long ago?"

You nodded your head shamefully "Yes...I know I shouldn't have screamed, but with all the stories I heard growing up of humans taking our coats so we lose that part of ourselves...maybe I overreacted."

"You did," agreed Azul, not bothering to sugarcoat it "It's ridiculous for you to assume the worst in such a situation, and as a result, bother the rest of your dorm members. Besides, if you would have bothered to read the memo I posted in the wall just outside of the bathrooms, you would have seen that today is the day that the school's ghost-workers come gather our clothes to be washed and pressed- paid for entirely out of my pocket, might I add, as a reward for the dorm's excellent exam grades." He pushed his glasses up, rolling his eyes "You would have also seen that I made a footnote stating that for any clothes you do not wish to be taken, to lay them out on the foot of your bed, lightly sprinkled with salt."

Floyd made a retching sound in the corner of your room. "Yech, salty clothes."

You felt a little better knowing that your coat wasn't stolen, but the embarrassment of being caught red-handed at ignoring the Housewarden's memo made your face turn red, itself. "...Oh."

"Oh is right!" Azul said loudly "Now pick yourself off the ground and compose yourself. I'll send Jade to retrieve your coat before the Ghosts start their washing. I would send Floyd, but..." glancing over at the Eel-mer, who was busy entertaining himself by seeing if he could fit underneath your bed, Azul let out an aggravated noise "I assume you wouldn't want him touching such a precious item."

"No, I- I wouldn't," You said "Thank you, Housewarden Ashengrotto."

"You can thank me by cleaning out the pool once you have your coat back- I assume that being in your natural form would help you better reach the hard-to-get crevices under the water," And there was his angle. So much for him helping you out of the kindness of his heart.

You tried to manage a grateful smile nonetheless "The indoor or outdoor pool?" you asked. There was a very clear difference between the two and which one you would prefer to clean. The indoor one was a basic pool, treated with natural products so that any of the water-lovers in the dorm or merfolk could enjoy a nice swim without getting chlorine in their eyes, The outdoor one was on the back-end of the dorm, and was made up of legitimate water. While the entrance to the Octavinelle's pocket dimension made it appear as if the guest was swimming underwater and yet could still breath, the back was as close to the real ocean as one could get. The larger mer-creatures enjoyed swimming there, as well as any homesick students (who could breath underwater, of course). It had magically-altered coral and reef spaces, tons of rocks, and lots and lots of crevices...

You felt the bottom of your stomach dropped when Azul flashed his iconic business smile

"The Outdoor one, of course," He stated.

----

This was a terrible job. It was so unrewarding to try and scrape off what barnacles there were sticking to rocks- mainly because the reef was entirely magicked up and the barnacles were consciously made a part of it! And also because, well, barnacles were natural in the ocean! Gahhhhh, curse you, Azul!

Although, now that you had time to think about it, maybe giving you such a meaningless task was Azul's plan to make you learn your lesson for making him go door-to-door searching for an emergency. That mean-spirited octopus...

"Ooooooh, Selkie's doing such a greeeeeat job!" A voice chirped from behind you. As you whirled around to see who it was, a phosphorescent light blinded you for a moment before you could see Floyd in his eel form.

Pushing down the prey instinct to run away, you forced yourself to turn around, continuing with your tasks. Floyd still lurked behind you, however, since the little lights on his body provided a faint glow.

"Can I help you with something?" You asked, your voice a mixture of grunts and barks in your current form.

Floyd had no trouble interpreting your words, and responded with chirps and clicks of his own eel tongue "Nope! Just bored!"

"Well, maybe you could help me out some."

"Hah! Not a chance, Selkie! Besides, everybody knows that those barnacles are spelled to grow back within ten minutes of being removed," Floyd grinned at you, swimming up and over you so that his head was in front of you, upside down, his sharp teeth flashing.

You frowned, looking back at the small section of barnacles you had just finished scraping.

They were all back in place. It looked like you hadn't even touched them.

You yelled out a few curses, throwing the blade in your hand onto the floor. It didn't feel as good as it did on land, though, since the water only made it gently float down.

"Sooooooo, you wanna ditch the boring scrapey-scraping and go for a swim?" the eel asked, mischief in his eyes already. Although, when did that look ever leave?

You pondered it for a moment before sighing. What else did you have to lose? This was a meaningless task anyway, like he said.

"Sure, why not?"

◦•●◉✿✿◉●•◦

[yumeka-sxf]

My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 3

Continuing from my previous two posts, this will be my last post discussing the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." I'll discuss some of Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters, some of the included concept art for the series, all the Twiyor tidbits the book has to offer, and conclude with a couple things the English version of the book omits.

Endo's and Lin's comments on specific chapters

There's at least one comment from Endo and/or Lin on every chapter of the manga from when the book was originally published (up to chapter 61). Unfortunately I can't cover every single comment, but I did want to highlight a few (more will be covered in the Twiyor tidbits later on).

So Bond wouldn't have actually died from Yor's cooking then? Good to know her cooking isn't that bad, lol. Also that's a good question, Lin, maybe you should ask Endo? 😅

Lots of great info about the cruise arc. Makes sense that they had to plan it out many months in advance and keep revising it to patch up plot holes. All that work definitely paid off! Interesting that they almost considered not having Loid on the ship at all. Glad they didn't because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten one of his best outfits! 🤣 (can't wait to see this piece of work in color in the anime!)

Incidentally, the scene Endo mentions where he "managed to make Yor look pretty cute" is this one (she does look pretty cute here).

My favorite comment of Endo's about any chapter has to be this one for chapter 56. Never change, Endo 😂

And lastly, some good comments about chapter 59 (Becky visits the Forgers).

This is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters so I'm glad it was well received. Funny how they kept going with the joke instead of ending it "normally"...but when you have such great characters and setups, good comedy writes itself!

Below is Endo's commentary about Henderson, not a specific chapter, but thought I'd point it out since he mentions Henderson is the only character he's done a shower scene for...not anymore!

Also, while not related to a specific chapter, I do like what Endo says below about Loid and Yor's "dark sides."

He enjoys drawing them this way, which is cool, but he's also cautious about not overdoing it and saving those expressions for important situations.

Concept art

Most of the pre-serialization character designs included in this book were also in the exhibition pamphlet, which I already discussed thoroughly here (wish I had remembered these were in the fanbook so I wouldn't have put so much effort into trying to read Endo's scribble notes). So I'll just mention a few of the most notable things.

As I discussed in my post about the pamphlet, Franky was at some point intended to be the uncle of the family. Though I do think it would have been fitting to make him the uncle, I also like the main focus being on just the "nuclear" family, with the uncle and other characters having supportive roles.

An interesting note about the beta version of Yor is that she seemed to be more like Fiona - she was in love with Loid right from the start, to the point of trying to eliminate Anya! I doubt this is something she would be doing all the time as it would have been difficult to make her a likable main character if she was always trying to kill her daughter...in all likelihood, she would have tried to kill Anya at first before eventually learning to love her as a daughter. While I see how this could work for an intriguing character arc, I'm glad Endo decided to make Yor a loving mother to Anya right away, and not make her feelings for Loid an obsessive "love at first sight" kind of thing.

Twiyor tidbits

Being the shipper that I am, I tried to see if I could pinpoint any Twiyor subtleties throughout the book, as vague as they may be! 😂

Below are excerpts from Loid and Yor's character pages where we're given info on their current stance about each other.

Love the emphasis on their bond of trust ❤️

Below are excerpts from chapters 14 and 35, probably the most Twiyor-heavy chapter pages in the book.

This confirms that Loid did indeed interpret Yor's kick as her not having any romantic feelings for him.

Below are comments by Endo and Lin for chapter 30, where Fiona is introduced.

Endo's line is a little ambiguous here, but I think he's saying how people sympathize with Fiona because she's "doomed to lose," which is...telling 😅 (does Fiona's loss automatically mean a Twiyor win?)

Endo says he likes the "You're strong, Yor" conversation, one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far! 😊 Lin also mentioned how they got to use that theme again during the Becky chapter.

Weird that he chose to highlight this line of all things as Loid's "Family Comment" for chapter 10. Could this and chapter 79 be more foreshadowing for an eventual "Twilight vs Thorn Princess" showdown? 👀 Or maybe he just likes teasing fans because he knows it's something they fantasize about.

English version omissions

There's an additional Endo interview that's missing from the English version of the book: an interview with him and Kazumi Takayama, a former idol of the group Nogizaka46.

At first it seemed very odd that they would leave out just this interview, but after discussing it with others on Discord, I realized it's because it has to do with an idol. Apparently getting licensing rights for anything that has to do with a Japanese idol group is very difficult, which is further hindered by the fact that Takayama isn't even part of that idol group anymore, which makes getting the content green lit for official release overseas even more taxing. So probably Viz decided it wasn't worth the trouble and just left out that interview. But thankfully u/Nemshi on Reddit posted a fan translation of it, which you can read here. They talk a bit about SxF, but most of it is just general questions they ask each other.

And the other thing missing from the English version that I really can't understand is the inside cover! Another great 4th-wall breaking joke from Endo (I added a quick translation of the Japanese version below).

Unlike the Takayama interview, I have no idea why they didn't include this. They include the inside cover as an extra page in all the English volumes, so why not here? Very weird.

---

And that's all I'm going to share for the "EYES ONLY" fanbook! Honestly, there's so much great content in the book that I didn't touch on, like info about East/West relations, about Eden Academy, Endo's comments on all the designer chairs for the volume covers...and lots more. So definitely get a copy yourself if you can! It's a must-have for any SxF fan 😁 Books like this aren't officially released in English very often, so the fact that Viz thought it was worthwhile to make this proves how much of a hit SxF is!

<- Return to Part 2

[randomsufff]

ALRIGHT since at least 6 of yall wanted it here it is- my Adachi Channel concept 🎉 (ft. a quick comic of how their intro dialogue would go)

Boy where to start- there’s quite a lot under here so beware

Ok so- my first thought was “ if Adachi had a channel, what would his dark secret be” and I thought it would be that he secretly loves the Dojima family and wants so bad to be officially part of that (the adajima shipper in me saying he would love to get with Dojima and sort of become an official dad figure to Nanako) and so scared of them leaving him

I think in game, it’s shown Adachi actually cared for Nanako a lot, as he was always looking out for her and felt remorseful that she got hurt because of his actions and he even says in his letter at the end that he valued his times with the Dojimas

But it’s also largely based off of the Persona 4 Golden anime, where there’s a little section that expands upon Adachis background and his relationships with the Dojima’s. Specifically, that one part where Dojima, Nanako and Adachi are all holding hands before Nanako runs off to greet Yu and then it cuts to those three walking while Adachi stands dejected behind.

Anyways- within this background it’s shown that Adachi has pushed away every opportunity to connect with his peers in any way, no matter how much he wanted to, because he wanted to focus on his studies. And it ended up being all for not anyways because he never won any awards or got any serious recognition for his efforts and was instead relocated to Inaba (middle of nowhere town as someone says).

So here Adachi is- no serious friendships or relationships, who just moved to a town where there isn’t much to do anyways, who meets Dojima and his daughter who end up being his first genuine friends/companionship in YEARS.

Despite Adachis whole thing about thinking relationships are stupid and restricting, I think he finds himself caring about these two, and having them care for him, in a way he’s never experienced before. OF COURSE he going to latch onto that, and is going to be terrified to lose it when Yu- someone who’s ACTUALLY blood related to the family and not some sad coworker who tags along cause he got no friends- swoops in out of nowhere and starts taking their attention and affections.

So how does that relate to 1950s American housewives- well, again, if Adachi whole thing is wanting to stay together and wanting to keep their affections- and Yu who’s a part of the family is taking priority over him- best course of action would be to place himself into the family. Becoming a wife type to Dojima and a mother to Nanako.

Now not sure if Japan had a similar era, but I know the 50’s were alllllll about appearances and LOOKING like a perfect family; the woman stayed at home and were perfect wives and mothers who did all the cooking and cleaning while the men did all the work. I think that’s also why the “killer housewife” trope came around, cause they snap under being so much pressure. This not only fits into Adachi mask of being a dumb detective when he’s actually a villain but also how he views his relationship with each of them.

Adachi is an assistant for Dojima, and we see in game how mistreated he is: getting coffee and beaten around. Unfortunately, I feel like that’s very similar to how woman in the 50s were often treated by their spouses- as assistants rather then wives. Obviously, as I’ve said, he’s taken on a motherly role towards Nanako- being concerned over Dojimas lack of parenting towards her and trying to look after her himself.

And since Palaces often take these sentiments to the extreme- I thought Shadow!Adachi would think himself as a replacement of the dead mother, (I forgot her name 💀) saying he can take her place and give them everything they need.

OK SO HOW WOULD THIS FIT STORY WISE IN THE GAME? So people show up on tv if they’ve caught the eyes of the public right? And Nanako got on cause of an interview so I would think Adachis rise of interest in the public would be the similar. At the very least, when the tv covers the two murders, Adachi would do some stupid thing that would accidentally be caught on camera and everyone would wonder who that bumbling idiot was. In my eyes, I think this happens after everyone had joined (so after Naoto) but before any of the endgame stuff with the red herring and Nanako and stuff. So perhaps the news does a follow-up on the lead detectives on the Telephone Pole murders since there’s not been anything new happening and they want to know if it’s passed or if they still have to keep working, and eventually Adachi comes along and like- idk spills coffee on the reporter or something, and since it’s live- the everyone figures out Adachis name after Dojima barks it at him to get his act together.

Boom he’s on the tv, boom the guy chloroforms him and throws him in the tv, boom Adachis like aw fuck.

I don’t understand how Adachi got his persona in the first place? I looked it up and it said it was cause he was so fucking lonely and because he had no relationships he developed a persona. Ok???? Didn’t know that was an option??? But in this universe- Adachi doesn’t have his persona and instead awakens it after confronting his truth like every other person, because thems the rules, instead of just developing one because you’re chronically lonely. (If we REALLLY wanted to it could be like a Akechi situation where he has two- but eh )

(Oh also- I’d imaging his channel introduction scene thing would be like, sitcom esc? Like a- ha ha come see how quirky my family is or something? Like I Love Lucy or any of those old American sitcoms)

So anyways he’d be like “fuck, welp this can’t be too hard to survive, I just have to keep being in heavy denial like I always have-“ and tries to keep up the stupid act, especially when the Team rolls in, but then the Shadow gets to him by implying he has a meaningful relationship with the Dojimas (aka he NEEDS them cause he prolly would have offed himself months ago from boredom and/or lack of friends ) which pisses him off and triggers the fight.

(This could be some slight foreshadowing the Adachi is not what he seems as his masks slips and as his Shadow occasionally spits out some of his ideology and stuff)

Boom, fight ends when Adachi confronts that yes, maybe he does have a meaningfully relationship with the Dojimas. He’ll then be like, well obviously I can’t join your team, I’m part of the actual detective team, but maybe I can share insider info with you guys- while he secretly gets the first hand scoop of the Teams plans.

Obviously this does not undo what has been done, and with everything rolling to its natural conclusion there’s nothing Adachi can do to stop what has been started. He’ll keep doing what he’s doing tho, It’ll be even more tragic when he realizes he’s put both Nanako and Dojima in serious danger and make him spiral more into denial towards the end. Saying how those relationships don’t actually help him with anything, that they cause him more pain more suffering then when he had no one to care for but himself, that’s he’s still in a shitty place in the world etc etc.

Bam- after he’s defeated and the God is defeated it’ll smooth his transition into slowly accepting that friendships do help, and his connection with Dojima and Nanako stay strong after everything is proof of that

Ok I’m kind of just writing shit now- it is very late and I wrote a lot so if it doesn’t make sense, oof, but I how you get what I mean cause this concept fits like perfectly in all aspects into Adachis character 👍

[its-your-mind]

so yes, orv did permanently and fundamentally shift my personal perspective of the world, specifically my role in it as a storyteller and an observer and a friend and a mentor and a child and an adult and a victim and someone in power and and and. it also made me feel the broadest spectrum of human emotion. I could probably spend years thinking about it and never fully understand everything it made me feel and all the personal and philosophical thoughts it made me think.

unfortunately if I think about it too hard for too long I find myself teetering on the cliff’s edge of a depressive episode and have to shut my media-analysis brain down so I don’t fall back into that particular black hole. after I finished it my brain fully shut down and did not come fully back online for 3-4 months I shit you not I finished it in October of last year and my emotional state has only just recovered.

it was one of the most devastating endings to a book I’ve ever read. It was perfect and beautiful. It was whatever the opposite of catharsis is. I’ve never been more filled with hope and awe. I’ve never been so desperately sad and hopeless. no I am not able to comprehend how that works either. see what I said above re: the cliff’s edge.

see the thing is it would have been FINE if shing-song had fucking WARNED ME that they were gonna make me FEEL EVERYTHING EVER about the human experience from EVERY ANGLE and then RIP OFF A SHEET AND REVEAL THAT THE STORY WAS A FUCKING MIRROR THIS WHOLE TIME. AND PROCEEDED TO BEAM ALL MY ATTENTION AND LOVE AND EMOTION I POURED INTO THIS STORY OVER A PERIOD OF LITERAL WEEKS OF SUSTAINED FOCUS STRAIGHT BACK AT ME IN THE SPAN OF 0.2 SECONDS LIKE A FUCKING ARCHIMEDES LASER.

ahem. anyways. that would be the uh. cliff’s edge. we will be walking away from it now.

anyway it’s the book with the two trench coat Korean dudes who beat Inventers-Of-Yaoi Spirk in the Yaoi Tournament Bracket it has badass ladies AND cringefail ones AND transgender allegories AND giant monsters and gods and demons and kids and magic and space and dimensions and time shenanigans it’s fucking insane and incredible and if you’re the kinda person who exists on fandom tumblr in the year of our lord 2024 this book is meant to come for you specifically and you will thank it afterwards go ye forth

[somewhat-very-insane]

questions i am sick and tired of hearing as a chronically ill and disabled person (and why i hate them)

this did wind up a bit longer than i expected it to, but by all means, feel free to add on with any questions you hate to be asked (and why!)

abled people, please do refrain from overtaking this post, and, disabled people, please do refrain from making this post entirely about any one specific condition.

"do you really have to talk about being disabled all the time?"

yes. yes i do. i promise that however annoying it is for you to have to endure the absolute agony that must be me making an offhand comment, or, on occasion, maybe actually talking about something that affects me for more than a few minutes at once, it is infinitely more "annoying" for me to have to actually live with the issues i talk about for every second of every day of my whole life. when i stop talking, you don't have to think about it anymore. but i always have to think about it. you get to put your full focus on something else, or, if the conversation is that annoying for you, you can leave! nobody is forcing you to stay. but talking about my problems is the only way i can get any support for them, and even when i stop, they are still there. i cannot "step away" from the figurative "conversation" with my pain. it is always talking to me, whether it be just a small whisper in the background or screaming at the top of its lungs in my ears, that pain is always there. so, while it's unfortunate that you are getting "tired of hearing about it," please do understand that i got tired of experiencing it a long, long time ago; do not destroy my one way to speak about my experiences solely because you do not wish to be made uncomfortable by them.

"do you really need that pain medication? won't you get addicted?"

in response to that, let me ask you this: do you really need that water you're drinking? aren't you afraid you'll get addicted to drinking water? it sounds ridiculous, i am aware. but i will break it down for you, now (as, in my mind, it is an adequate comparison). every human being needs things like safe, clean water, food, and some form of shelter to survive. however, the majority of humans can survive adequately with a reasonable amount of these items and will be able to function without major pain or other symptoms that detract from their general quality of life. some people, like myself, can have our basic needs of food, water, and shelter met, yet still experience major (or minor) pain, which cannot be blamed on a lack of rest, hunger, or thirst. therefore, in order to function the way society expects us to, and in order to not be quite as utterly miserable as we otherwise would, we may rely on other, stronger medications than the average person would, to manage that pain. these medications are medically prescribed, and we therefore have every right to utilize the resources provided to us. if i were to simply stop taking certain "non-necessary" medications, while my body would technically continue to function with the aid of my "necessary" medications, i as a person would not be able to function. imagine, if you will, the worst headache, joint pain, cramp, or other temporary ailment you have ever experienced. that probably wasn't a very enjoyable experience for you, was it? but you might've been able to use some ibuprofen or acetaminophen, maybe a heating pad, and after a little while it got better. now imagine if you tried to use those same things but the pain did not get better; imagine that pain lasting for months, even years on end, which you simply could not get rid of. a pain which you were expected to simply pretend was not bothering you, and continue to function the same way as everyone else, who was not in pain, was capable of. surely, in this hypothetical, you would want the (perfectly safe, legal, usually non-addictive) medicine that could make that pain even a little bit less excruciating? even if you knew that the pain would never fully disappear, not really, you would still want it to be less. so, i will take my medications, and leave you with the freedom to choose what you put in your body, just as i deserve the same freedom over mine.

"have you tried just exercising? eating healthier? meditation?"

the short answer is, for almost every disabled person i know, yes. though, granted that you've come this far, i'm sure you are prepared for the long answer, too. exercise can, for some conditions, help to alleviate or lessen certain symptoms. the key thing to note here, though, is that the exercise must be safe and selected specifically for the person based on how it may negatively affect them, as well. even activities that most able-bodied people regard as minor, such as going on a walk, can be draining, nausea-inducing, painful, and outright miserable for some people. i cannot, personally, go on a fifteen-minute walk on flat, paved terrain, in very pleasant weather, without triggering dozens of sensations that would surely make any healthy person worry that they were dying. when i tried to pick up an exercise regimen without professional help, i made my health several times worse. taking the advice of people who were, sometimes, genuinely trying to help, put me in serious danger. even when i did have a team of three doctors working on a plan for me, it took several rounds of trying and failing before we were able to determine what activities i could safely do, and which would be beneficial to me. now, being told to "just eat healthier" particularly irks me, because what foods i have to eat to maintain a more "healthy" balance of sugars, sodium, protein, and fat in my system varies quite a bit from that which a healthy person might be told is the ideal. i do understand that, generally, a low-sodium, lower-fat, mainly natural-sugar, high-protein diet sounds healthiest to a large percentage of people, the same cannot be said for myself. i have been told, by numerous medical specialists, that it is absolutely necessary for me to consume high amounts of sodium (think: eating salty food and snacks, on top of an electrolyte drink and salt pill every morning). i also deal with highly fluctuating blood sugar, which doctors cannot yet explain why it suddenly plummets (no, it is not diabetes, yes, i have been asked this dozens of times). as a result, i will often have to eat something "unhealthy," such as fruit snacks or a similar gummy candy, to get my blood sugar back up. is a high-sugar, high-salt intake diet generally what outsiders will see as healthy? of course not. but, as these are things i have to do to specifically manage my symptoms, it is always frustrating to be told that maybe they are symptoms i experience because of my diet. they are not. as for the types of people who insist that simply doing a guided meditation session each day can cure me of my dozens of health conditions, you are simply incorrect. while some people may experience a temporary psychosomatic alleviation of their pain in response to practicing mindfulness techniques, no one should ever urge another human being to substitute life-saving medication with guided breathing and essential oils. the two are simply not on the same level, and meditation does not, cannot, and will not help every disabled person deal with their symptoms.

"aren't you too young to be so unhealthy?"

no. and, while i do wish that people would not press further when faced with such a simple, clear-cut response, some people simply cannot grasp the idea that anyone under forty-five could possibly deal with any sort of health complications. people can be unhealthy at any age; even infants can have heart conditions, after all. while old age certainly has a higher correlation with deteriorating health, it is certainly not a reason to believe that, therefore, anyone who is not old cannot have poor health. believe me, i do wish that whenever someone older told me that i really am just overthinking things and lying to all my doctors and somehow faking things like MRI and X-ray results, those problems simply disappeared. unfortunately, things do not work that way, and by saying things like that not only do you invalidate the experiences of countless ill individuals, you (deliberately or not) paint us as bad people, when all we want to do is survive.

[umlewis]

Hamilton Asks F1 Fans Not To Spread "Negativity" With Favouritism Claims

Seven-time champion asks for support from his Mercedes team's fans

Lewis Hamilton has asked his Formula 1 fans not to spread "negativity" following a recent debate about possible favouritism towards his teammate George Russell. With Hamilton leaving for Ferrari at the end of 2024, his results compared to Russell have come under added scrutiny, particularly in the context of the younger Briton currently possessing a 9-2 qualifying head-to-head record. Russell leads Hamilton by fourteen points in the drivers' standings and Russell took pole Canada after Hamilton had topped FP3 in Montreal. Hamilton also sparked a particular focus on the dynamics within Mercedes when he said "performance comes away from my car, for some reason" after he had qualified two places behind Russell in Monaco. At that event, the focus centred on how Russell was running Mercedes' new front wing, which has been credited with boosting the performance of the W15 significantly, and how Hamilton said he had "anticipated it would be difficult to outqualify George because he has the upgraded component." But motorsport.com understands that Hamilton had, however, been offered to run the same wing, but chose not to as he had deemed a qualifying crash too risky in the circumstances. This was considering how Mercedes only had one example of the new wing at the time and breaking it would mean having to revert to an older specification and starting from the pitlane in Monaco, where overtaking is essentially impossible in modern F1 machines. The Mercedes drivers' contrasting fortunes in Canada then led to considerable speculation on social media about Mercedes possibly showing favouritism towards Russell. Ahead of this weekend's Spanish Grand Prix, Hamilton was specifically asked by reporters if there was something he wanted to say to his fans regarding this development. "Yeah, I think they know that we're… If you look at the years, we've always been a strong team. We've always worked really hard together. I think it's easy to get emotional, but I think it's always… I even commented in the last race, for example, just about my performance. I think we need support, not negativity. I wasn't actually aware that George was experiencing negativity. George does nothing but his best every single weekend and he's developing with the team, so he can't be faulted at all. Of course, there can always be things that are better within the team, and that comes through conversation, through communication, and that's something that we've been consistently working on. But we're all in the same boat. We're all working hard together. We all want to finish on a high and I feel we owe that to our long-term relationship." When asked about the situation and Hamilton defending him, Russell, speaking alongside his teammate in the Mercedes motorhome in the Barcelona paddock, said: "Personally I don't look on Instagram or Twitter, to be honest. I still sort of control my own accounts, so what my team and all of the content that goes out is through me. The captions, everything, is all of my messaging. But I think social media is a really double-edged sword. There's so many funny things that you see on social media and it keeps you up to date with so much, but then on the flip side it's not just myself, but everybody in the limelight, there seems to be negativity pointed towards them. And like Lewis said, you want to feel their support, and not giving out negativity to others. So, as I said, it's not something I've seen or heard about it [from viewing comments online]. Of course, it's never nice to hear this stuff, but that's unfortunately the world we live in at the moment, and what any person in the public eye is facing." the 'one warning' rule has been amended bc i'm sick of y'all taking the real person behind this account for granted tbh. leave george hate in my notifs, get blocked.

[olya-roo]

Some writing advice for Hunger Games fic writers

Saying this as an author of a longfic who also been writing for 5+ years:

1. When creating an OC storyline, do not just "switch" a canon character with yours, putting them in the exact position as in canon with only some minor tweaks. Be original and try to explore a special idea with your character, attempt to get them to mean and 'say'.

2. Don't shy away from descriptions - be it an Arena (that wasn't overly described in canon or the one that you came up with) or characters' emotions, descriptions are important. Even if the word count can grow with it and it can be seen as useless or a waste of time, this is also one of the tools for your writing to feel richer than just having straight to the point text.

3. Your character should have as little elements 'borrowed' from the canon portrayals as possible. If your character lives in D12, has sibling issues and hunts with a bow, why should anyone read your story when they can just pick up original HG books?

(Actual character in a fic that I saw, while also put in Lucy Gray's role, since she was basically a replacement love interest for Snow)

As a whole, this is very obvious to anyone with eyes in the right place and can come across as pretentious, especially if your character can end up bashing Katniss at some point in the plot.

4. Try to not reuse one trope too much, for example the “prostitution” trope - not every single victor was used for that and writing a tragedy around a single event can damage the perception of a story.

Coming up with trauma connected to different reasons is not that hard and can be seen as quite original.

5. Connecting every single character together is washing away the borders in the world of Panem (like putting Annie and Titus from D6 in one game) - the world of Hunger Games is LARGE, with hundreds of characters and at least 73 completely uncovered games with only a handful of victors known.

6. Background characters’ importance should not be underestimated - if you put too much focus on your character without a solid cast to back them up, the story can have an unfortunate fate of falling flat. And yes, this includes Original Games and character driven narratives.

7. If writing a specific district, try coming up with some unique features only that place can have. For example with District 5 give special focus to stations, try to imagine some power-related sayings or add places that you can imagine being only from 5. This helps the world feel more alive and also, not every single district can have a forest.

8. Make an effort with names. While can be seen as ‘clunky’ and stupid, industry-themed and Roman-themed names are a huge part of the HG world and it cannot be ignored. Doesn’t mean you have to name a District 6 tribute ‘Car Train’ but tweaking it around and deeply looking into the industry of the place your character is from, doing deeper research can also help to create a demonstration that you actually care about your story and want to make an effort in this.

Additionally, the name of a character can tell many things, so thinking about what it can mean and pushing away from it is a massive help.

9. When writing a scary/disturbing piece in the fic, think on why you are adding it to the story. Is it only for the intent to shock or does it actually impact the plot in a meaningful way?

10. Give the characters both realistic flaws and trauma. No one wants to read about a character who does not struggle or cannot challenge themselves/react to tragedies around properly. But on the other hand, it is never a good sign when you write trauma around a character that there is so much happening to them that it is only ‘misery-misery-misery’ and the trauma itself is so grotesque that it stops looking realistic.

Balance is needed and that’s what is important.

So this wraps it up. Hope I helped and also see your suggestions!

[aiilurociide]

I'm stoked to continue seeing the development of your story! Your art, world-building, story-telling, etc, have come so far since I first started following you years ago. At the same time, I'm over here sobbing cause the @newdawnoldfaces account has disappeared and I can't look at the character headshots anymore XD.

🥺 Oh I’ll cry-

Gosh, thank you so much, sincerely. To have your continued support, love, and enthusiasm truly goes such a long way for keeping me driven, and I can never thank y’all enough for that — especially those of you who have stuck around with the story since near the beginning <3

The story itself is finished! I have a very clear idea of what the story is meant to portray, several important details and clever foreshadowings I’m especially excited to enact, and where the plot will reach out. I just have to iron out some of the specifics and do a little bit of restructuring here and there, with some minor world building tweaks, before I’m ready to start sharing… And brand new headshots with full character profiles are one of the biggest things on the list ;) So don’t mourn the old ones too deeply!!

Admittedly, the main reason it’s taken so long for me to feel comfortable enough actually unveiling things is because my housing situation is very unstable at the moment; it wholly depends on my grades in college, and seeing as I’m on academic probation at the moment, it’s been… Stressful, to say the very least. So most of my energy has been poured into my schoolwork and trying to stay afloat there, or trying to save up money via commissions just in case I do end up homeless. I’ve got vital medications I need that have to be paid for, after all…

So unfortunately, Ailurocide isn’t my primary focus at the moment, as much as I wish it were. It probably won’t be given my full attention and love for some time, as disappointing as that is not only for all of you, but for myself as well.

But rest assured that it will come out someday in full! And that I am so excited to begin sharing it with you, and watching everyone unveil the mystery, mythos, and magic that Ailurocide has to offer <3 And know that I appreciate everyone’s patience, kindness, support and encouragement so so deeply — and that messages like these truly make my day, every time.

<3

[mike-haters-dni]

GIMMIE THE FUTURE MIKE HCS I BEG

oh boy here we go time to dig through my adopted oc's lore

The first thing you notice about post-coming-of-age Mike is that he holds his face a lot more softly. The teenage angst has burned away and revealed the tender, affectionate (and sometimes vaguely sad) core it was protecting. Make no mistake, the judgy bitch will still come out if the situation calls for it, but he no longer approaches every social interaction assuming the other person is going to hate him. Turns out he can actually be pretty charismatic when he doesn't feel the need to be a dick in preemptive self-defense.

The low self-esteem never completely goes away but it does diminish to the point where he can occasionally believe people actually like him and maybe he deserves to be happy. He even gets to the place where he can accept most compliments, except if you specifically imply he is either kind or attractive, which he will reflexively scoff at. The two things he can never truly believe about himself 😔. El finds this endlessly frustrating ofc.

During high school, Mike is the first one to get a car (birthday present from his rich parents) so it becomes his job to carpool everyone to school, as well as drive El anywhere she wants to go at any time. idk anything about cars but its black and pretty nice (Karen is absolutely treating her kids after they almost died in a monster war) and Mike lowkey mostly agrees to favors because he likes driving it around so much.

Actually no one else but Lucas gets a car bc why go through the hassle when you can just barge into Wheeler residence at any time and guilt Mike into driving you. He does have a driving toll however, and that is maintaining full control of the stereo, which he uses to blast hair metal.

(El fucking hates hair metal but she's too nice to admit that to Mike, who eventually figures that out on his own after seeing her visibly tense up whenever he plays it. She never fully admits to hating it but she also doesn't really deny it when he says that she obviously does. This also applies to 90's Mike getting into grunge)

The only reason El graduates high school is because Mike absolutely insists that she can and acts as her personal (unrelenting) tutor for the last half of 12th grade (love her but she's really not good at school), despite her best efforts to persuade him to just let her give up because "Did you know that you can legally drop out of school at 18?" ("Yes, but having a GED is really important if you want any opportunities in life." "…See I don't even know what that is." ":/") Luckily, Mike is a talented and very passionate Explainer of Things and took all the classes she's in last year (he's in AP classes now obv) so it all works out, though after she passes her last final she makes him swear to never ask her another math problem again.

After high school he tries to go to college for writing but ends up mysteriously losing the ability to focus on anything or be creative, which causes him to not do any assignments so he starts avoiding going to class out of shame. He rationalizes this as him being tired of school and not needing to go to school for a creative endeavor anyway haha (true), and he ends up dropping out. (Unfortunately, this is just the start of the college/post-college plot line, which is the gang all getting hit full force with the ptsd induced by the Everything upon entering adulthood but uh we don't have to get into that here hehe)

After (attempting) college, Mike and El (who get married at 18 ofc) move to Chicago and Mike gets a boring job as an editor or something just as an attempt to get a career going, but soon quits that as well bc if you're keeping up with the lore you'll remember that El is getting paid restitution by the government so neither of them actually have to work and he really doesn't like working a boring job just to attempt getting a career going. He then spends the next few years working ("working" sometimes) on personal projects, the main one being a sci-fi novel and, eventually, dming at a local game shop, where he becomes a bit of a local geek celebrity for his excellent dming skills and being a generally cool guy. His original campaigns and one-shots are particularly popular, and people keep suggesting that he start distributing them or maybe even sending something to TSR? Hmmm... not something Mike ever thought about doing but he does have the easiest time and most fun coming up with dnd stuff...no way that could be a real career path could it...hmm.....

Seriously tho Mike is like a master dm. You can ask him any obscure question about anything in the game and he can answer instantly with perfect accuracy. And like any passionate gamer he has many Opinions about the editions and a whole set of house rules he runs his games by.

I wasn't originally going to have him and El have kids but then I imagined Mike telling interactive bedtime stories to his 5-year-old daughter and idk man I think that has to exist. Its not until they're like early 30's tho. Also her name is Ava.

[animebw]

So there's a big issue with this final plotline about Kanon getting an offer to study abroad in Vienna. Actually, there's a few issues compounding on top of each other, but at heart it comes back to what I said before about Superstar lacking its own identity.

As a season finale, this storyline makes sense as the climax to a story like Hibike. You know, a conflict between just performing music because it's fun and you want to share that joy versus performing music to achieve greatness no matter the difficulties or sacrifices. And there have been hints at that throughout season 2- the second episode was all about exploring that idea and it was pretty damn excellent. That was the basis of Sumire and Keke's conflict in episode 9 as well: is it worth pushing the first-years out of the competition if it means a better chance to win for Keke's sake? And, of course, Wien's whole deal has been pursuing greatness at the expense of everything else. So it's not like this idea hasn't been established.

But that's also all it's been: established.

Something I'm realizing looking back on Superstar as a whole is how shockingly episodic it's been from start to finish. Compared to Sunshine and SIP, which developed pretty continuous story threads as they went along, very little of Superstar's many component parts feel like they feed into each other. Kanon had three episodes of stage fright at the start and then it wasn't an issue again until the penultimate episode of the first season. Basically every character's introduction arc into Liella is completely self-contained with emotional issues that are no longer a factor once they're part of the group. And all those moments season 2 touches on the theme of greatness vs passion are similarly resolved in a tight twenty-four minute package. The idea's brought up, toyed with, then resolved the same way: Liella is nine, and they want to sing for each other and the joy of singing. There's no progression of that theme, no elaboration, no sense that the way the characters interact with those ideas is evolving throughout the season or changing them as people.

So to have this Vienna school thrust upon us in the last moments of the season feels... wrong. It feels like it's trying to pull on threads that have already been tied up, trying to make a grand, cumulative statement on something that just hasn't been prominent enough in the story to warrant that amount of focus. We know what Superstar thinks about the conflict between doing what you love because you love it and doing what you love to create something special with it. It's already been tidily resolved multiple times. And trying to close out the season by prying those closed loops open again just reveals how little this idea has actually mattered in the grand scheme of things. Actually, it's worse; it's revealed how little any of Superstar's ideas have mattered. This season, compared to even Sunshine's weakest stretches, has so little meat on its bones that any conclusion would ring hollow from how little foundation it has to build on.

And unfortunately, it's let me to one final big disappointing realization: Kanon is a bad protagonist.

Like, I'm kind of surprised that's where I've ended up? I've never disliked Kanon or her presence in the show, I've had no trouble watching her on screen. But now that Superstar's actively centering her in the narrative again, I'm forced to realize that she is just such an empty character. Beyond the generic motivation of wanting to share her songs with the world and her long-since-resolved stage fright issues, I can't think of anything that defines her. No real quirks, no specific motivating factors, few strong relationships with the rest of Liella, no sense of her family life... I could talk at length about the nuances of Honoka and Chika and the different aspects of the genki girl archetype they emulate, even how they change and mature throughout their respective shows (And neither of them are my favorite characters of their groups!) But with Kanon? She's a near-empty vessel propped up by the much more dynamic cast surrounding her.

And that's a huge problem when you're trying to build any sort of drama around her specifically. Especially when that drama relies on us believing that Kanon is such an exceptional singer that one of the best music schools in the world would make an offer to her. Because straight up? I do not believe that for a second. Even the the heightened, idealized world of Love Live, it does not make sense how this girl, of all people, could make such an impression all by herself. Nothing Superstar has shown us has made it seem like Kanon is any more or less talented than her classmates. Honestly, Love Live's never really been good at showcasing the individual talents and skill levels of its main cast; when the performance starts, they're all basically the same up on stage. But that's never been a problem before because the story's never been about exploring those different skill levels until now. And nothing in this show has felt like it's even been trying to present Kanon as some kind of exceptional star in the making. She's always just been one idol among many, except now we're supposed to believe she's a step above everyone else and there's just no evidence to support that.

So Kanon's not a bad protagonist in the sense that she's annoying or unrealistic. She's a bad protagonist because Superstar has utterly failed to justify why she belongs at the center of this story. And with all the other issues I've talked about compounding on top of that, it's basically impossible for this show to do anything meaningful with her character as is. She's doomed to an existence of perpetual superfluousness, a gaping hole at the center of her own narrative who can only ever fail to be more than that. And that, more than anything, is the reason that Superstar, for all its delights, has come up so painfully short.

[archived-yiptsu]

Rambling about Berror because he's a little guy and we need to give him more love 💥

RAAAAH WE DO NEED TO GIVE HIM MORE LOVE ‼️‼️

Unfortunately there's not much within the canon to ramble about.. mainly because we never really got anything about him BUT I have done some research (I read like 4 fics about him) and have come to the conclusion that he is the silly he is the little guy he is possibly the angstiest possible being ever and he is UNDERRATED.

SO we know that a lot of the Errors/glitches' (whatever you wanna call 'em) personality is based on their final thoughts before they corrupt which wow okay already a ton of potential just in general like not even limited to Blueberror that could be such a fun little thing to mess around with ??? Anyway I think that specifically for Blueberror it could be especially fucking great because that essentially means that any form of Blueberror is canon. It doesn't matter how you portray him because in one way or another it can be considered canon and nobody can argue against it.

Oh, Blue was upset and/or angry at Error before he corrupted? Make him mad at Error and anyone else like him, extend it to anyone who threatens the Multiverse and BAM you've got protector Blueberror. Or you could take it the other way and make it so Blueberror is upset at EVERYONE because nobody came to save him leading to him being a loner with tendencies of speaking to random people but then switching up and getting angry at whoever he's speaking to.

Oh his last thoughts were about his friends and the people he's lost?? Make it so he's obsessed with making friends and fitting in. Make it so all he wants is to have a friend group who'd accept him. Make it so that he struggles to completely understand social cues and people around him find him weird and unsettling because of it. Make it so he struggles to fit in and gets upset at himself over it, trying his hardest to change himself but giving up every time because he always gets sidetracked whenever he tries.

Building on that friend group part, make it so that Blueberror just ends up joining Nightmare's Gang because of his intense focus on friendship, willing to let others die for him to have what he wants. Let him befriend the members of Nightmare's Gang and let him be warped by their humour and their actions whilst remaining optimistic and unstable.

Another path is for him to not want to be friends with people who already have friends, feeling overwhelming jealousy every time he sees one of his friends talking to someone else. Have him be insane about Error specifically because yes, he's a loner, but Error was also the cause of everything that happened to him. Have him be constantly struggling with his thoughts about Error and not knowing what to think about him or if he even wants to be friends with him.

Have him hang around with Dream because Dream's aura makes his emotions stable, but have Dream be unsure if he's okay with Blueberror acting like he does because he wants him to be able to figure out his own emotions and how to deal with them without wanting to see his friend suffer. Have Dream struggle to learn how to use technology or read or write and have Blueberror be ecstatic over being helpful with it, feeling happy that he's finally found a friend despite him acting more as a tutor than anything else.

Have him be completely unaware of the fact that people don't want to be his friend. He's too engrossed in his mission of befriending people to realise that some people don't want to be friends, and when he does realise this he gets upset and loses his temper because, well, what's wrong with him?? Why don't they want to be friends with him?? What did he do wrong??

Dial that shit up to eleven and have him be pissed over the fact that certain people don't want to be friends with each other, have him be completely incapable of understanding it. Have him not understand why people can't get over things that happened in the past whilst also having him be a hypocrite who'll hold grudges for the rest of his life if he wants to.

Have him be so unstable that he's capable of attacking other people when he gets upset, similarly to Error, which leads to people having an actual reason to be scared of him and trying to keep away from him but that just sends him further into a frenzy.

Just have him trying his hardest to be a good guy but struggling so much with understanding what's going on that it makes him into a bad guy accidentally. That's all I want from this fandom.

[xx-cringe-factory-xx]

Im bored so I am once again talking about stuff I barely understand\d and Im too scared to talk to the hs discord cause it feels like others make me uncomfy cause their fixed morals and actual ability to understand and explain things better than me lmao.

How I see my class and aspect as a thief of void

(alos may talk about lunar sway (mine is prospit leaning), read to find out!!)

woah okay sooo im gonna start with aspect cause that's easier for me to understand and explain why i think it's litterally me.

the voidy stuff!

so the only ways Ive seen void explained is "confusion, unaware, subjectivity" and vague stuff like that whish uh, yeah it's right ig, both light and void are based around their own understanding of things. but it feels like others focus too much on that. void players tend to be confident in what they do understand(or at least I am), even if it may not be a lot or very useful.

cannon examples being: equius with robots, roxy with actually quite a bit(others relationships, the window things, ect.) uhh cant remember any void players lmfao,

also another thing people tend to ignore is that they are hard to understand/ make sense of. once again with equius just overall being veiwed as "oh no, its THAT guy" and roxy just cannonically being imposible to explain/read by dirk. also he never even asked??? so that's part of the issue people dont just ask, most void players would just answer if people asked. like dude??? we dont fucking hide how we feel, its just that others dont even like, put in effort to know. alsowhile im kinda on a tangent about how people dont ask, void players are kinda like "dont ask, dont tell." (haha refference to homophobia) unless they see it as important or relavant. I alos just dont have a lot of oppinions on things that do actually affect me, but that is prolly jsut more of a me thing than void as a whole.

(btw, I am going to take a quick break to go pee before I get into my class, and I will not reread this till after I post it, so I may think of things I wanna change or add, which means i will prolly just be reblogging it everytime i think of somethign knew lmfao)

uh Thevft thievery and tax fraud

(my laptop is overheating slightly, i only have three tabs open)

okay quick thing on why Im not a witch and why I think online quizes keep forcing that apon me with some random ass aspect (THE ASPECT CHANGES ALMOST EVERY TIME :SOB: )

witches tend to not understand that they're doing something wrong/ they just see that what they're doing MIGHT help them, so they do it. they over all do their best to do what they think makes sense without like trying to explain why it makes sense ig(?) witches also dont seem to have many strong oppinions on others outside of every one of their friends is the best, or every one else is either unimportant and does not matter enough to even CONSIDER taking into account when coming up with a possibly confusing plan. while thief's tend to get ahead of themselves they do understand that a complicated plan can go wrong WAY more than a simple one, arvhams razor or whatever.

as explained in the silly brochure thingy that i have spent too much time rereading (lnked on the masterlist thing for classpecting posts in pinned thingy) thief's are also working on higher stakes. focused on an end goal instead of the specifics of what leads us there. which unfortunately leads us to completely ignoring why and who we might've hurt to get us to the end goal. also in the brochure thing it mentioned how thief's work against what they think is how society works (?) (meenah wanting to live on a moon cause of reasons I cant remember, and vriska just in general viewing people as just boring or unimportant) for a thief, theirs them and then theirs everyone else with zero overlap. when a thief get's to close to being like their perception of everyone else they force themselves out of it so it becomes a weird cycle of "woah these people are great" and "these people are making me soft, uhoh gotta fix that"

when in relation to my lunar sway, I'm a prospitian. (woagh) which yikes black and white thinking, and I think i fucking need a good reason for doing things. or at least a reason I think is good. lmao

prospit theif of void(conclusion??)

all together I tend to get uncomfy with people actually understanding and being set on things ESSPECIALLY MORALS. i overall view most people as more mature than me. as in they understand what they view as bad. I like philosophy and the open ended questions that come with it. I'm not really attached to any specific religion or ideas. I do like absurdism on solipsism though. subjectivity is a huge thing for me, it's just that others usually are super strict on what they see as real or true. honestly my only rules/morals for myself are dont hurt others unless it's necessary, and anything is okay as long as you feel good about it and arent ACTUALLY hurting others (as in fuck around and find out, BUT DO NOT ACTUALLY TOUCH OR INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO TOUCH REAL KIDS OR ANIMALS YOU SICKF UCK)

anyways uh yeah im a theif of void, i am making all of thisup based on a game thing that didnt even explain it properly in the og webcomic.

I love you (/??) bye