#understand wtf theyre saying or how they want me to respond

[gravybath]

Making myself angry about work again b/c this guy complained about me over an misunderstanding and also corporate is getting really pissy about us following their “heart model” which is how we’re supposed to act around customers which is always the same thing but they make a new acronym for it every few months b/c what else r they gonna do. But like we are so understaffed (b/c they cut all our hours) and we’re so fucking busy all the time (b/c rona is fake and everyone got their stimmy checks and also pets while they were working from home) we dont have time to say a fucking 10 minute script to every fucking customer and its so fucking infuriating b/c u can tell the people who made this shit up have never worked in a store a day in their fucking lives. Like sometimes at the register i cant even say hi before they cut me off ? Also the shit they want us to say is so fucking stupid oh my GOD they want us to welcome every single customer which ISNT possible b/c we have one cashier at a time and the other two people working in the store are busy running the store doing the job of ten people so if theres a line they dont have TIME to greet everyone w/o stopping what theyre doing and yelling over the customer theyre helping (which is rude and also not practical when 20 people come in at a time) and they want us to say a fucking paragraph to ask if people have a phone number w/ us b/c customers are so fucking stupid they need to be reminded what store theyre in (when we have a fucking line we need to get people out we have three people to run an entire fucking store) and we have to say some shit like bring in ur pet next time or tell ur pet we said hello which like i can picture 100 ways that could go wrong b/c not everyone has a dog not everyone shopping actually owns a pet also sometimes peoples pets have died and accidentally asking about it is so awkward AND the fucking. They want us to say thank u which is so awkward b/c i hand people their receipt and say have a nice day but when i hand them their receipt THEY say thank u so saying thank u back makes me want to die its just. I dont have time to say all of this to every customer its not practical and its just fucking awkward and forced oh my GOD whenever a regular customer hears us say that they get confused b/c it sounds FAKE AND WEIRD b/c the people that designed it DONT FUCKING WORK IN STORES and instead of working on giving us more hours or changing how we do things to make it so we can still do our jobs despite having half as many people there, instead corporate is like we are going to make u emotionless shells of humans b/c thats what customers like right :) and another thing i asked what parts my boss was serious about us doing and she got so mad at me but LITERALLY when we started doing rewards points we were SPECIFICALLY TRAINED AND TOLD N O T to ask customers if they want to use them, customers were supposed to keep track of it themselves BUT B U T everyone asks people about them and when i brought up how we’re not supposed to do that she was like well u know.... like no !! NO !!!! U cant be sticklers for stupid fucking rules sometimes but not others like fuck off fuck off this is so dumb ive been saying the same thing to customers for three years and theyre like no change all of that to some stupid bullshit that makes u all sound the same like fuck u die AND there r some people working there that can hang up on customers and be rude and do whatever they want to customers but b/c theyre old nothing matters. Like we get SO SO S O many complaints about this one lady (the woman who pierced my ears asked about the rude bitch after i told her where i worked) but nothing ever happens ever to her and its so infuriating :)

[nrhshm]

My brain randomly slapped me with this scenario and I need to share it, so,

Reader and Luffy haven't confessed yet

Reader is all beaten up, completely passed out in the medical bay and Luffy comes wondering into the room late at night with a ton of food (because eating food = healing and getting better obviously) but reader is high from painkillers and as Luffy is telling them to eat up because it'll make them feel better but Readers brain isn't registering anything and they just want to sleep and goddam luffy looks so cute smiling like that but also they were so tired and Luffy is a going of in tangents about Meat and food, then reader goes in for a kiss to shut luffy up because they didn't have the mental power to think that trough and promply after theyre lips meet reader passes out again and Luffy just stand there, rubbing his two braincells trying to understand wtf was that and he comes to wonderful conclusion that, since they kissed they're a couple now ☠️☠️☠️

It's like I can hear chopper screaming "Y/n doesn't need meat!" in the background🤭🤭

Alrighty then! Get ready for another Luffy crackhead scenario ~~ Here's some booze🍾

.

(Tbh, I couldn't find a better gif, exclude Goku)

White is the first thing you see, your eyes barely registering the sudden surge of light. It took a moment, and you found yourself in chopper's medical room, bandages wrapped around your body whilst feeling extremely lightheaded.

You glance sideways, a used syringe briefly rocking with the ship's motion. ''An antiseptic? Painkiller??" You quickly conclude. Aside from the slight numbness in your limbs, you don't feel any pain. Yet your conciousness still felt woozy, uncomfortable. What had brought you here in the first place?

Memory kicks back in. Eyes widening as pre-blackout scenarios begin to cloud your thoughts. You recall a navy vice-admiral cornering your crew, it was sudden, uncalled for. A tough battle dare I say, raged between the two sides. You all fought in sheer confidence, your captain was smiling, your crewmembers were cheering. You were gonna win, you thought. Until a nasty soldier snuck up behind you, you passed out.

Loud footsteps snap you back to reality, kind of like someone maniacally running outside, and the steps getting louder and louder till--

"MEEAAATTT!!" Luffy sends the door flying, huffing and puffing in confidence. His eyes land on you, grin grows wider as he stomps to your side.

"It worked! You're up!!" He credits himself in glee.

"I was awake before tha--"

"Oh I forgot!" You watched as the man you had fallen for rush back to the now almost-collapsing door frame, pulling in a huge bag of... meat?

'Just... what the hell do I like about him..?' You deadpan hopelessly.

"Here! This'll get you up in not time!" Pulling out a massive meat leg, he marches back to you.

'Why him of all people..?' You were really tired, SERIOUSLY tired. You didn't have the energy for that bullshit. So... how to shut his trap without being rude about it?

"O-Oi Luffy, I appreciate the idea but I'm not really-" You feel your head getting fuzzy again.

"Giddy up!" He holds the chunk above your face.

"Listen, I'm not hungry."

"But, it's medicine. You have to eat!"

"That's not how it works-" another wave of fatigue washes over you, and Luffy being unhumanly oblivious to it, still tries to feed you.

"Could you just-"

"Y/n your tum-tum's crying. You need meat!"

"Luffy."

"Actually, maybe you need booze too."

"Lu-"

"I'll go snatch Zoro's bottle."

"Luffy!!"

A bold move that you never thought you'd do in a million years, a move that you spent almost everyday daydreamimg about it. Your brain suddenly switches to auto-pilot.

You grab Luffy's face and smash your lips onto his.

He was seriously taken aback. What in the Garp's murderous fist is that?! 'You were eating him, alive' was all that he thought about that moment. Weird sensations were surging through his body, and he was enjoying it.

Just as he was gonna respond, your hand falls loose, torso falling back to the soft sheets. Luffy watches as you close your eyes and with a wild blush on your face, falling back to sleep.

For someone who has a hard time finding his last braincells, he became pretty aware of what just happened. A kiss. Shanks had told all about it, heck he'd even seen him saying weird stuff to various women and getting slapped to death later on. He's also watched Sanji's strange interaction with other females, so he knows about 'flirting'.

"Couple." He blurts out. Coming up with the simplest conclusion, "It's official! We're the Meat Couple!!" He grins, content with his statement. Unintentionally reaching out to the medicinal drink chopper has left aside, he gulps up half of it before quickly shoving it aside and coughing hard.

"Tastes like goose pee." He manages to comment. As a good boyfriend, he takes up the liberty throwing the whole thing in the trash, it's obviously NOT a drink that chopper had spent almost 3 days mixing up that'll speed your recovery process and get you back to your feet.

A dark aura emits from the door, a familiar reindeer aura.

"LUFFY!!!"

[krappykawa]

I read your s/o who likes to read hcs and was wondering if you could do the same request format or whatever it is you'd call it but with terishima,akaashi, iwa, Oikawa,and Daichi? Sorry if that's a lot! -anon

with a s/o that likes to read (part 2)

— iwaizumi, oikawa, terushima, daichi, and akaashi

word count. 1.4k

genre. fluff

note. i made these ones shorter than the ones in part two because anon requested a lot of characters and i didn’t wanna run out of headcanons to write,,, i hope you still like this though!

part one here

IWAIZUMI.

- will read the books that you’re reading just because he likes the feeling of being able to bond with you over something you love since you’re so supportive of him already (literally the perfect man. perfect bf. give me a kiss rn RN!!)

- maybe not all of them, but if you get him hooked on the description, then he will probably finish the book faster than you

- if he doesn’t like a book very much he’ll take ages to finish it though

- if you ask him about how he’s doing with reading it he’ll be like “oh i’m almost done” when in reality he’s only 20 pages in

- he’ll send you texts about the books you recommend but they’ll be super blunt like “this character just died” or “oh they kissed”

- you sit at your phone for 20 minutes debating on how to respond to those because HOW??

- he loves cuddles,,,, would literally die for cuddles

- so when you climb into his lap with a book in hand and bury your head in his neck as you read his heart literally malfunctions

- his cute s/o with their reading obsession that he secretly finds so endearing climbing into his lap for cuddle time,,,,,, his heart goes &2:$84!;💞💖💘💖💓💖💞/):&38,

- iwaizumi.exe has stopped working

- but he’s also not afraid to pull you into his lap if he sees you reading on the couch

- he’ll probably put on a monster movie and just hold you as you read and he watches

- probably also buried his nose in your hair and revels in your scent (also kisses your head every so often because he can’t help it and AHHHH HES SO CUTE)

- when you start sending him messages about your books, he will attempt to respond to every single text or he will just wait until you’re done and text back with “u done?” (not in a mean way though) there’s no inbetween

- he’s smiling every time you send him those texts though

- aoba johsai’s volleyball team (ESPECIALLY OIKAWA) teases him mercilessly if they ever catch him smiling at his phone in the locker room or during class or during lunch (basically u text him a lot lol)

- sometimes when you slam your book shut and scream into your pillow, he will just watch you with amused eyes and probably make an offhand comment that’s similar to “remember to breathe while you’re at it.”

- you end up throwing the pillow at him (which he catches and then proceeds to walk to where you are and swing you over his shoulder)

- get your mind out of the gutter on the “over his shoulder” part i swear he’s just teasing you for throwing a pillow at him (I CAN FEEL YOUR MIND WANDERING STOP IT)

OIKAWA.

- he makes an effort to read your books, really he does

- he’s just really busy, so most of the books he promises he will read stay only half way read through and never picked up ever again

- if you give him a sci-fi book though, this man will literally finish it at an insane pace

- literally he would be the one to text you at some ungodly hour (usually 3AM in the morning) because he just finished the book in one sitting and he’s literally brimming with reactions

- will text things like “WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST DIED”, “YN SEND HELP I THINK THEY’RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID”, “OH MY GODDDD I HATE THIS BITCH CAN THEY STOP TALKING” (always in all caps whenever he’s reacting to a book)

- you better pray that he doesn’t end up hating a character because he will text you every single time they show up on a page and complain about them

- “this character reminds me of ushijima why would you put me through this 🤕🤕”

- or “THEYRE TALKING AGAIN?? WHEN WILL THEY GET THE MEMO THAT I WANT THEM TO . ST F U ‼️😻”

- anyways, if it’s not sci-fi, it’s probably sitting on his nightstand and never touched again until you steal the book back

- CLAIMS he tried reading them (he got 2 pages in and then put it down)

- he is also a huge cuddler

- but you will not be able to read in his lap because he’s so fucking whiny

- “y/n-channn pay attention to meeee. you can read about that insanely hot dude in your book when you’re not already sitting in an insanely hot dude’s lap”

- big pouty face

- it works every single time and you hate him for it

- once you put your book down he will not let you go for a good ten minutes

- he also has tons of pictures of you reading on his phone because he thinks you’re so cute and feels like he has to snap a picture so he can remember how cute you looked at that very moment

- a lot like iwaizumi, oikawa will attempt to reply to every single one of your book related texts (except oikawa succeeds at replying to every single one)

- like you could literally send him fifty text messages in a row and you will get fifty replies back

TERUSHIMA.

- i am so sorry to say this but i genuinely cannot see terushima being interested in your books whatsoever

- he thinks that it’s boring and always questions how you can just sit down for hours on end and just read

- this changes when you give him one of those insane, mind-boggling, really dark, murder-mystery books

- he’ll scoff at it but after a lot of begging on your part, he’ll give it a try

- he loves it

- he told you that he never got bored and that feeling like that while reading a book is so weird to him

- that is the only book you’ll ever get him to read though (okay maybe he’ll read a few more if you beg him for it with that cute pouty face of yours that he cannot resist)

- like he’ll treat that murder mystery book as a holy grail and insist that nothing will ever top it

- i’m sorry again but he probably texts you “what u doing rn?” and if you say something about reading he’ll try to get you to do literally anything else (most likely will send a horny text to try and steal you away from your reading, let’s be honest here)

- “come over baby you can experience all that you’re reading in that book first hand 😏😏😏”

- if you send him text reactions of your book he will most likely reply with “awe babe ur so cute” but not say anything about the books in itself (IM SORRY HE’S NOT MEAN ABOUT IT THOUGH)

- cuddling with him while reading will never happen

- seriously

- he will do everything in his power to get you to put the book down

- like start peppering you with kisses or tickling you

- he just can’t stand sitting down in silence for so long lol

- he doesn’t put you down for reading though

- like yeah he might not understand it and thinks it’s boring, but he admires that you care so much about it and also admires your commitment

DAICHI.

- admires you for reading honestly

- like i feel like he’s the type to get really good grades but will not look at a book that he hasn’t been assigned to read for his life

- that being said, he probably has never read any of the books you ask him to read with you

- he’s told you he’s read one or two which is a lie (you know it’s a lie but you don’t tell him that because you know he feels bad about not reading them)

- he isn’t on his phone often so most of the time your texts don’t get answered for hours

- it’s kinda fun that way though because after a while you just start sending him long text threads and it’s like talking to yourself

- when he does respond it’s with something like “you look like you had fun there” (after that he’ll apologize for not seeing it and then ask if you had anything else about the book that you wanted to tell him about AWEHISHFNF)

- very good listener!! he’ll try and have a genuine conversation about the book even if he hasn’t read it (like if you want to talk about how you think the plot doesn’t work, he will either support you or give you valid reasons that sparks constructive conversation)

- will absolutely never see the texts you send at 1AM (until the morning) because he always passes out before 11PM

- will see them in the morning and will text back “well good morning to me”

- he has absolutely no clue what you’re talking about in the texts but tries his hardest to be supportive

- cuddling while you’re reading happens nearly every single time you’re together

- is very stressed from dealing with his volleyball children so he’ll more than happily sit on the couch and cuddle with you as you read

- sometimes he falls asleep while you cuddle and you just snuggle into him and it’s so cute

AKAASHI.

- THIS LITTLE SHIT

- man oh man he loves acting like a smart ass whenever you text him about your books

- you’ll be like “my favorite character just died!!” and he’ll be like “well tell them to not die then wtf”

- will stay up late texting you about your book though because he’s most likely reading it with you so you two can bounce ideas off of each other

- if you like a character that he hates he will not hesitate to start a debate about why you shouldn’t like that character (full one page of reasons. this man takes his opinions very seriously)

- if you’re together at his house or something and you start yelling at your book he’ll be like “y/n don’t hurt its feelings.”

- you momentarily pause your yelling to deadpan him

- he stares right back

- “just be nice.” (you’re like BWAH???)

- HE ALSO YELLS AT HIS BOOKS THOUGH

- it’s uncommon but it does happen

- if you’re both reading or you’re doing homework and he’s reading, he’ll slam the book shut and yell about how stupid this character is (and when i mean yell, i mean yell)

- and if he doesn’t like the ending of something he will rant for days and you’ll have to remind him to take a breath

- he gets so hyped up from reading books it’s so cute

- will read with you when you cuddle read (does that make sense??? like when you cuddle with him while reading)

- will mumble things under his breath while you’re both reading but you’re on his lap so you can hear everything and you just laugh

- one time he mumbled “stupid bitch just fucking die already” to this character he hated

- you had to put down the book because you were laughing so hard

[autisticandroids]

bro, u and ur anons keep talking about cas being "complicit" in his abuse by being too afraid and beaten down to even slightly disagree with dean, and how he just needs to start standing up for himself?

and while its true that cas pushing dean around even a little bit would fix a lot of their relationship problems, phrasing it that way just seems... idk... supremely victim blame-y to me. like, the responsibility is somehow on cas to sort through his own trauma enough to gain an unbiased view of the situation, while he is still actively in the abusive situation that caused that very same trauma in the first place, and then risk (in his mind) the only meaningful relationship he has left by pushing dean away enough to set boundaries? as opposed to it being dean's responsibility not to treat people like disobedient pets? dean of course has his own issues that make it hard for him to see things clearly, to put it mildly, but cmon, these are not even remotely the same caliber lol.

furthermore, i know having someone else come along and say "he doesn't love u! he wouldnt mourn u if u died! dump him!" helps a lot of ppl wake up to abuse, but in cas's case, my gut instinct says that would make it a thousand times worse?? bc, on some level, cas already believes that, and that's part of the problem??? obviously the whole suicide fantasy thing can be damaging to fans, but even if cas himself has that fantasy, i doubt he genuinely thinks that's what's going to happen when he dies. im sure he WANTS dean to mourn him like a widow, but he fully expects dean to move on and even be happier (in the long run) once cas is gone, which is part of why he’s sacrificing himself in the first place.

it's shitty of the showrunners to craft this narrative in the first place, but i dont think it is inherently worse for the fantasy to be fulfilled than not... either way, it's rewarding/justifying cas's decision, unless cas stays dead AND dean is miserable, and they really lean into it being a Tragic Ending. even fics that try to avoid this problem often just make things worse bc ive seen multiple fics that bring cas back just to have dean punish him further, with no self-awareness on dean's part. like, the man is so miserable with guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that he kills himself, and u (dean/fanfic authors, not mx. androids) think the appropriate way to respond to that is to make him feel guilty and selfish and weak for turning to suicide??? wtf??? truly NO ONE wins in the game of supernatural

anyway im genuinely not trying to do a callout post here or anything, im positive none of yall meant it in that way, i just wanna know more about ur perspective on this. no pressure to respond if u dont want tho. (also i know im talking abt fictional boys like theyre real ppl with thoughts and feelings but this show simply isnt interesting to me otherwise, love & light xoxo)

i have never referred to cas as complicit in his own abuse. i have referred to him as complicit in dean's abuse of jack, as well as potentially complicit in dean's abuse of sam. he's also complicit in a bunch of other terrible things dean has done to other people or induced him to do to other people.

i have discussed the way that cas gets used to being abused and makes a home there, to the extent that even when he has opportunities to improve his situation he stays in his little corner because he really doesn't understand how to get out (not has he ever experienced anything really all that different) but while that's his choice it's not really his fault in the same way. it's tragic, he isn't to blame.

re: the suicide thing i was mostly being snarky and pissed off, throwing spaghetti at the wall. you are right, there is no good answer. no one wins supernatural.

[fagwolf-archive]

benrey and gman species headcanons!!!!

so i was thinking about benreys abilities and as i wrote out headcanons i decided u know what. i think benrey and gman are the same species. so here are some thoughts about their species:

- massive eldritch horrorterrory creatures, literally incomprehensible to the human brain. youd probably die if you saw their true forms, your brain would just overload and shut down

- so to exist in the science teams universe, they make themselves appear humanlike juzt so they dont accidentally kill people. also just for practicalities sake - way easier to walk through a door if youre human sized hsjfkhsdjk

- ofc they only LOOK human - theyre still all fucked up and monstery and can shapeshift. gman is older than benrey and has pretty much full control at all times over his form, benrey meanwhile struggles a bit to maintain it and forgets stuff about humans - like that their limbs dont bend that way, or their heads cant turn 180 degrees, or that they only have one row of teeth

- they are a mainly Predator Species and so a lot of their biology fits this!!!:

- bioluminescent eyes act as lure like anglerfish - and also sweet voice! ill go a bit more into sweetvoice in a moment but in hunting context, its used as pretty, hypnotic lure for prey and also to calm prey and induce docility and prevent fighting back (benrey doesnt rlly hunt so he just uses it to calm down gordon when he thinks hes too mad)

- benrey in particular’s “huh? whuh?” thing is cause natural predator instinct to hyperfocus on one thing coupled with Neurodivergency means he finds it really difficult to switch conversation topics or pay attention to multiple things at once.

- i thought a lot about communication as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

- their species has 3 basic forms of communication, or at least those are the 3 ive thought about:

- 1 is nonverbal - thats a LOT of their communication. body language, certain types of blinking or finger movement etc communicates tons. just like a species like a cat or rabbit.

- 2 is how they talk to their young. again, like cats, eldritches have a reserved form of communication (like meowing) for their babies. this is telepathy - they use it to talk directly and comfortingly to their kids and to immediately figure out what they need. this has also evolved into how they talk to humans - like cats meow at humans cause they see them as big babies.

- and eldritches dont actually speak english, they telepathically convert their language to whatever the humans mother tongue is, projecting the language straight into their head. annoying comparison, but like the tardis’ telepathic field in dr who.

- added onto this, this is why benreys english gets worse when hes emotional. e.g: “im a great cool, so now i gonna be bad”. he struggles more to keep up the telepathy when hes upset or ecstatic, so his english sounds more distorted.

- and ALSO benrey forgets as well that humans cant communicate telepathically. hell respond to something someone thought or read their emotions and react accordingly/get them what they need and he’ll be SO confused when theyre like “wtf how did you do that”

- 3 is SWEETVOICE!!! this is a big part of all assets of their language - its a simple ingrained way to communicate simple emotions and greetings etc, like “nice to meet you” “i like you” “i am feeling angry, dont talk to me” etc.

- gman doesnt use it as much because its generally considered a more simplistic and childish way to talk, as its the first way children learn to communicate outside of telepathy to express their basic emotions. benrey uses it a lot because he Likes It!!!!!!!! it easily expresses what hes trying to say.

- this is also why tommy knows how to read sweetvoice - personally i believe hez human and was adopted by gman but gman still taught him how to read sweetvoice. as hes adopted he cant do it himself, but hes the one who understands benreys communication the best cause he was raised by an eldritch

- the skeletons!! eldritches can create entities to assist them, theyre not living creatures they only exist while the species wants them to. benreys are the skeletons - they help him in the final battle and everything.

- benreys also a younger, weaker eldritch than gman is, and uses his skeletons in a slightly different way. the skeleton that asks gordon for his passport isnt ACTUALLY benrey, its an entity benrey has created while hes temporarily dead to project himself out of while his actual form is rebuilding itself in Limbo.

- i believe the whole thing gman was saying about benrey needing to be contained and everything after he was “killed” is just cause hes an abnormally immature/emotional eldritch, and is pretty outcasted and chaotic as far as things go. like usually these creatures are out being Space Diplomats or apex predators or smth meanwhile benrey just likes Being Around Humans And Playing Video Games :] hes looked down upon a bit

[romantic-suggestions]

thank you, i dont wanna pressure you into giving advice so if you dont want to please dont. also im kinda paranoid so if this sends off on anon please dont post it!! but it feels like nobody actively looks for me unless they need something from me, i dont have any friends in my life right now, i dropped all of them because they didnt listen to my feelings/they were just kinda bad to me, a while ago i dropped an ex who manipulated me and it hurts so much thinking about it, why doesnt he feel sorry? and if he does, why cant he hurt? why did i get used for character development its not fucking fair every friendship i have they get something out of me, they get the boost they need to start their next project and be successful its not fucking fair why do i have to self loath and theyre able to move on? why does it seem like everttime i find someone i love we get distant?? i know i cant stop that but it hurts, alot. if distance doesnt kill us i always get replaced, when am i going to find someone who loves me for me, not what i can offer them?? it feels like people only love me because they can use me for something i hate it why is it when i set boundaries im a bitch, why is it when i tell people something is uncomfortable i have to give an essay on why they should respect me. i feel so stuck like i keep comparing myself to others, why did i have to be so stupid in the past? i used to say slurs that werent mine 2 years ago to impress the friends that didnt care about me and i cant move on from it, why did i have to be so stupid? i cant handle people criticizing me, it feels like they hate me and theyre jealous, or am i jealous of them for being able to point out something?? i dont know

I'm sorry for not responding sooner, but in truth, this ask has been on my mind all day, and I've been wanting to approach this with some good words. You remind me a lot of my younger self, and I want you to know that you're lovely, and I'm sorry you've been surrounded by such horrid people!

I'll start off by saying that everyone (and I mean *everyone*) has done horribly embarrassing things to impress someone. Please don't beat yourself up over the slurs, because the best thing to do is to recognise you've said some horrible things, and if you've hurt anyone with those slurs, apologising to them is really good <3 . You know they're wrong, your message says as much, and I want you to know that wallowing in that isn't going to help you grow. Righting the wrongs and surrounding yourself with positive influences is best, because you've grown from who you were two years ago! And that's definitely for the best :)

When you said that people only seem to notice you if they want something from you, it made my heart pang. I'm so sorry you've been surrounded by these sorts of people, and I want you to know that there are people out there who will want to get to know you for who you are. They exist, and I understand your apprehension around people given how you've been treated, but I promise that they'll be safe to open up to. Sometimes it takes a change of scenery (school -> university, moving to a new town), sometimes a setting of boundaries, but when you find them, they'll be your friend through thick and thin. Heck, most of my closest friends I made when I moved cities for uni! They will come out, and they will find you <3 or perhaps you'll be in a safe place to put yourself out there!

Good for you on dropping those friends!!!! That sounds weird, but rest assured, it is far better to have no friends than friends who drain you, use you, and aren't really there for you. I'm sorry that you feel as if you're no more than a plot device in someone else's story... I wish I had a better way of wording that, but I do know that it will not be that way forever! Having a strong sense of identity and getting involved in things does help detract from that transience, but it's the people you're around just as much as yourself! I do hope you can find some lovely people soon <3

With your ex, I can tell you from experience that people who manipulate and use don't tend to feel things like being sorry, except for being sorry that you got away from them. They're not the norm. My dad's the same way... he's done some utterly atrocious things to his children, and yet feels a sense of entitlement to us, as opposed to apologetic. It genuinely does suck a lot when you see someone move on without so much as a tear, but it's not you; it's their lack of empathy. You're doing so well anon!!! and please don't let him, and all those stupid ex-friends, get you down!

Someone will love you for you. I don't know how old you are, but for some people it happens quickly, others it takes a while. The teenage years are filled with so much volatility in the way people love and forget, the twenties are a messy time of personal development, and I do know of some people who've had to wait until they're out of college before they even begin to meet people who see past the exterior and to their heart. That sounds so depressing (I'm sorry!!), but be assured I have yet to meet someone who hasn't found someone who understands them truly, past all the distractions, through everything. You will find them! Work on yourself, and the people will come <3 (my DMs/ask box are still open too, if you're ever like "wtf help who am i what is a self?")

I don't know if this is good advice, but it's advice that I've learned over the years and I wish I could dispense to my younger self (of course I probably wouldn't've listened, oops), and I hope it does you some good <3 please feel free to come back to my ask box if you need anything! You've got this anon <3

[puffintalia]

For the ask commentary: "I… can't explain," he tried. His heart was beating so fast, he could hear it echoing in his skull, feel the pangs of an approaching migrane. [..] A pathetic attempt at emotion from a man who could do nothing but destroy them (EFL, chapter 7)

right! so! lukas’ whole deal in efl is his different relationships with mads and with astrid, you know that. at this point, he’s still really struggling with his internalised homophobia and with coming to terms with his feelings for mads, but he knows he doesnt love astrid in that same way. but at the same time, its astrid hes dating. its astrid who calls him her boyfriend. so he feels guilty that he doesnt feel the same way about her as she seems to about him

when he says that he “cant explain”, its more that he doesnt want to. hes scared to: this is the 80s, as far as he knows neither he nor astrid have ever known a gay person in their lives and he is, clearly, terrified of how astrid could react. even though he knows she cares about him, hes still scared. and even if she was okay with it, coming out would mean that he would be inadvertently crushing her feelings for him - this is why he talks a lot earlier in the chapter about “betraying” her, he feels like hes lead her on by agreeing to be her boyfriend and then deciding hes not interested in women. so he says he “cant explain” not because he cant, but because hes too scared of the consequences of admitting his feelings, both for him and astrid. “things about me that’ve been botherin’ me” is similar, referring to his feelings toward mads and other men in general

“falling, everything was falling” to “a cacophony of catastrophe” is just his panic, i dont really know how else to describe it. ive always thought of him as one of those people who gets overwhelmed really easily when theyre upset or stressed, and since hes (vaguely) meant to be autistic in this fic (i only kinda hinted at it when eiki was talking about their family), its a sort of sensory overload. “so loud and but so devoid of ... anything that felt real” is about how hes experiencing this overload of his senses and all this physical feeling is rushing at him at once, but on the inside he’s just... numb. hes reached that point of emotion and panic where hes just starting to go into shutdown. i think that might also be an autistic thing - i dont exactly know a not-autistic experience - but its something i personally go through a lot when im pushed into taxing emotional situations. for lukas, his fear of astrids response and his own repressed emotions combined with the sensory overload are pushing him over that edge. he doesnt even have the energy to feel anything more

the last line is the hardest to explain. its one of those things that just comes out when youre writing that you dont really think much about but it kinda works so you keep it in there. “a pathetic attempt at emotion” is a sort of reference both to his habit of repressing his feelings and that general sort of view or stereotype of autistic people as ‘emotionless’ or robotic that i know a lot of us internalise. he represses the hell out of his feelings for mads, yes, thats the whole reason the plot even started, but this is more about his other emotions. he talks - well, thinks - a lot in chapter two about it and i cant remember but it might come up when eiki first talks about their family too. hes never thought of himself as ‘good’ with emotions and the shutdown just reinforces his view. he doesnt think he understands emotions like the people around him do. he knows the situation with astrid is upsetting, but he doesnt realise that his numbness is because hes upset and so he sort of... blames himself for not feeling the right emotions for the situation. he thinks the reason he feels numb is because hes incapable of having the right emotions, when really its because theyre so strong theyre overwhelming.

the second half of that line, “from a man who could do nothing but destroy them” is more directly about his relationship with astrid and his guilt about his feelings for matthias. despite it all, he and astrid are still dating and logically he knows that means shes in love with him. the emotion here are astrids feelings for him, and he thinks his newly-discovered sexuality is crushing them and hurting her in the process. you could almost say that he thinks that if astrid finds out that hes gay, she wont care about him anymore, not even as her oldest friend rather than a boyfriend. “could do nothing but” refers again to that narrative in lukas’ mind that is just constantly reminding him how awful hes always been with emotions and understanding them. even if its not true, he feels like letting people down and crushing their hopes for him is a regular, repeating occurrence and hes berating himself for it. this could even tie in to his whole situation with mads - by going with his natural instincts and avoiding him, hes hurting their friendship, and though thats not what hes referring to specifically here it does reinforce his idea that he cant do anything right and that he just crushes other peoples feelings when he cant handle his own

ok this is way longer than i meant for it to be but its interesting to look more in-depth into it. i know i definitely worried before about claiming lukas was an autistic character when its never explicitly stated, but i think you can see the effects of it on him in the text even if its not obvious that thats what it is, and i think its an important part of the fic too because it kinda dictates how he responds to things, just like it does here

thank u for asking this u have no clue how much i loved analysing my own writing like this wtf

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

Kiri walks up to Baku, gives him a dumbbell ‘here, I’m finished with it, so you can use it. I made sure to get a heavier one to give it to you!’ Kiri was unaware of what he did. Baku comes to his dorm, knocks on it, asks to sleep in there. ‘Oh, sure.’ Kat walks in, collapses on his bed, Kiri lays down. ‘So, why’d you want to sleep in here?’ ‘You’re my fiancé now, aren’t you?’ Kiri pauses, ‘WAIT whEn’ ‘the dumbbell you gave, it was symbolising a ring?’ ‘Oh. Oh, yeah it was.’ ‘Gn ily’ ‘ily2..?’

oh this is canon

bakugou would def have these weird courtship rituals and kirishima would just b like “?? :)” bc he’s also hella whipped but he just doesnt understand wtf bakugou is even doing

i can see eventually bakugou does smth rlly subtle but its like Big to him and midoriya like Gasps out loud and bakugou tells him to shut up w the reddest face kiri has ever seen

when kiri doesnt respond to this rlly tho baku gets rlly dejected nd thinks kiri rejected him so hes being emo and sulking and rlly,,i dont blame him if someone like kiri turned me down i’d be in my feelings for a bit too but kiri didnt actually reject him jfc baku this is why u use words

anyway mido is talking w kiri later and mido is acting a lil weird and when kiri asks whats up, mido is like “its nothing really i just,,i rlly thought u liked kacchan” “i do mido ur the first person i told abt my crush” “then why did u reject him??” “he asked me out??”

so mido realizes whats going on RLLY fast and is like “oh my god kiri kacchan doesnt know how norman human interaction works so he thinks u rejected him” “WHY”

anyway its just a sily misunderstanding that doesnt last more than a day. kiri runs up to baku and before baku can say or do anything kiri is like “I HAVE GAY FEELINGS FOR YOU” and bing bang bong theyre dating now. every once nd a while mido will have to translate baku’s weirdass actions nd words but eventually kiri can read him all by himself. we love them

[deji-ato]

My Reactions and Thoughts to the Starry Line Special Live (from what i could remember)

(Long post ahead!)

Voice Drama 1:

“Ahhhhhh Banri!!! He’s back from the hospital!!”

“he’s a TEnSAi after all”

“oh????!!! a minilive?? thats so cute wtf”

Stage Performance (part 1):

“OH!!! they’re wearing their crossing live outfits!!”

“It’s the opening the opening the opening—“

“Aight Steady goes!!”

*insert surprised scream here* “AAAA THE NARUTO OPENING, WHICH MEANS THERES GONNA BE COVERSS”

“Right here, right now! BanG!”

Masa: On bass, *camera pans to Mae playing*

Me: MELISSAAAAAAA

“Oh lord here comes the long high note—“

“He held that note for FIFTEEN SECONDS, AND CONTINUED ON. HOW???”

“Oh!!! Bleach opening!! (Ngl I forgot they covered that song, which is sad cuz I didn’t remember DEEP VOICE MORISHII)”

Guitar riffs of Ryuuseiu is played vaguely, cue me scratching my head wondering what song it is (and thanks to Argocord for somehow recognizing it which promptly led to me losing my shit and feeling emotional the whole song)

“RYUUSEIUUUU”

“The ending!!! Of the anime!!!”

“KIMI TO, NANTO”

Voice Drama 2:

“NAYUTA?????”

“Oh no Ren skcbabajbc, he sounded like he choked on something”

“YOOOOO NAYUTA COMING IN TO COVER REN”

Stage Performance (part 2):

“OHHH OGAJINN!!!”

Ogajin walks up to the stage looking uninterested af

“He’s so in character HAHAHAHA”

“OHHH READY STEADY??? READY STEADY!!!”

“WHY are the holes in the pants of his knees so big???”

“Man he’s just straight up vibing to the music, and honestly? Same tbh”

Stage shows both Masa and Ogajin, separated by A GLASS WALL RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE

I literally lost my shit when I saw that

Which led me to think “Oh Starting Over???”

Cue Masa singing loudly into the mic like it’s nobody’s business with “SAA IKOUZE”

“STAND UP! HASHIRE! Nande demo starting over!!” (I still love how Ogajin sings this part)

“Only you can do it! Do it! Go for it sa do it! Do it now!

Throughout the performance I kept thinking bout how good Ogajin sings in his live performances??? Like holy shit he sounds so much like the studio version that it’s scary

Ogajin: Karma.

Me: OHHH!!!!! YOOOOO WHAT???!!!! THE KARMA???? THE SAME ONE FROM GARUPA????

Also I just wanna mention that whoever did the lighting deserves a raise, like damn it’s rlly good

Aaaaaa I honestly rlly love how much Masa and Ogajin’s voices mix so well together!!

THEYRE REACHING OUT TO EACH OTHER, but the glass wall is separating them lmao (undoubtedly one of the highlights of the live tbh)

But yeah the image above might also be playing into the hand symbolism Ren and Nayuta has goin on?? They’ve been showing this A LOT in their MVs

Ogajin: *makes brief eye contact with Masa before walking off the stage immediately after the song ends*

Masa: *acting as Ren, looking towards Ogajin walking off* ...Nayuta-kun??

Me: Wow he rlly just left the stage like that skfnekwkgnn

Voice Drama 3:

“Nayuta rlly walked off the whole restaurant, what a mood”

Ren shows his gratitude to Nayuta by thanking him, Nayuta kinda just responds with “it’s nothin much” or like he’s brushing it off

Idk I’m just rlly happy that we see more of them interacting after the anime ended

Also there was some Wataren crumbs?? Like barely

ok so idk where exactly this happens during the live but

Ren says some stuff like “Welcome home, Banri!”

And Banri replies with “I’m back!” like “Tadaima!”

And i honestly just broke down then and there, like i WEEPED when he said that AAAAAAA ILY SM BANRIII 💖💖💖

Stage Performance (part 3):

“AGAINNNN AHHHHHH”

“OH the cameraman is tryin to show the performance like the anime thru Banri’s POV??? I love that omg” (give this guy a raise too tbh)

Cameras kept switching back and forth between the guy on stage and the ones around the stage (ofc it looked a bit funny since everyone was basically facing the cameraman like he was Banri lol)

The whole band sang the “yeah yeah yeah, whoa yeah yeah yeah” part of Goal Line to start it off (they wanted us the audience to sing along as well which was vry cute)

Cameras tried to follow the same angles as the anime (the one where they perform at DesFes) which I found rlly cool

“AHAAAA STARRY LINE, OF COURSE, this whole live was named after this song after all”

And then I basically vibed to the rest of the song cuz it’s such a special song

“Oh they’re leaving, come back! Skfngng”

The lights were off at the stage for like 5-10 minutes?? AND THEN THEY CAME BACK WEARING THE STARRY LINE MERCH (including Ogajin ofc since this was now the encore)

Encore:

they asked the audience to choose a song for them to play, and turns out Starting Over was the most popular one! (ngl i wanted Pray but i understand that ppl wanted to hear more of Ogajin)

So then they played Starting Over, except that it was VERY OOC (but still fun nonetheless!)

“OHHH WAIT WAIT WAIT”

“ARE BOTH OGAJIN AND HYUUSUKE SINGING THEIR PARTS OF THE SONG TOGETHER????? HOLY SHIT-”

and if u thought that Ogajin was vibing before, then think again cuz this man was straight up jamming out on stage whilst still keepin the nayuta voice

After that, Ogajin left the stage, and Mae tried to keep him from leaving lol

“oh there he goes”

“VOICE???? VOICEEEEEE”

“KANSEI WO, AGERO”

OH OMG they all sang it in acapella form at first, then slowly led into the song with the instruments, I remember freakin out over this tbh

“ARE YOU DREAMING? YES! WE ARE THE ONE! BANG!”

OH they also tried to do the same camera angles like the anime?? that was cool

“OH NOO WAIT WHAT HAPPENED TO MAE’S MIC?? IT GOT CUT OFF OH NO”

you couldn’t hear Wataru’s line so it was just instrumentals until Ren’s part came along

“OH thank goodness they fixed Mae’s mic, whew”

“CALLING, CALL DREAMING WORLD! CALLING, CALL YOUUUU”

...and then they went offstage!

i could prob ramble more about the backstage session, but i wasn’t there in the first half of the free session haha

and from what i’ve seen of someone’s live tweeting of the paid one, it seems that it was pretty emotional! (since it was directed towards Masa’s birthday, and they ended up tearing up?? awww)

[scorpcorpse]

5/18/20 - type time 732-822pm

so yesterday i went on tinder just like i always do when im feeling extra bored and lonely. well anyway i matched with cute looking boy so he messages me. 

PS im writing all of this here because i feel weird telling my friends what was all said. i told them a bit but not everything.

so we end up talking, and surprisingly it was a good conversation. it was very random though. im laughing and smiling at my phone. my conversations die fast or are about topics i dont really care for. im always into the conversation though no matter what especially because i like talking to people. moving on, you cant send picture on tinder so he sends me his number while reassuring me that he wont be sending dick pics (yay). he’s ranting on and on, flooding my phone with compliments. we’re talking this whole quarantine to him thanking the universe he’s glad he’s talking to a person who is pretty and cool. we talk about all the weird interactions we’ve had on this app and how everyone is soooo horny. he goes to tell me he loves my hair, he says i look like the type of girl, in a show, if i had just gone through hell, and i were to run my fingers through my hair it would just fall back into over my face so perfectly. i was like wtf. i didnt know what to say because that is very very very far from the truth. i would just look like hell. we go on to talk about our personalities and whether we are more introverted or extroverted. he’s more introvert while im more extrovert. i told him though it kind of changes depending on the situation like if i was on a date or getting serious with a person. we talk about how we hate it when people are mean to others by telling others to be quiet when theyre being too loud when it isn’t bothering anyone (does that make sense) like if youre having a good time by yourself and someone tells you to shut up or be quiet because it’s annoying them. he said he would never ever tell me to be quiet. he’s only really loud when he’s excited or passionate about something. we talk more of our dating life, he has a bigger dating pool than me though. he asks me again for the fifth time later; how am i doing, are you bangin, are you sewing sweaters? he wants to know everything. this all has me confused and intrigued. is it weird that i feel like he is very interested in actually talking to me. he asks me if i would be willingly to break quarantine to hang out. i tell him quarantine is okay eh.. im holding up okay, i do need to worry about my big head that only has two brain cells left. i also tell him im the biggest broke bitch he’ll ever meet. he says i wont ask you to pay for anything so dont worry your big head. he understands i dont want to go out. he says we can just talk and hangout over facetime. he proceeds to ask if he can ft me right now. its 2am and i look like a fucking mess. i say im a catfish he says fuck it, im half awake and im not looking for looks. next thing i know he’s calling. we talk for three hours. 

what happens in those next three hours is weird. i dont even know what happened. well immediately i ask him about his tattoos so he gives me the whole run down of his tattoos on his arms. there super cool i like them. my favorite word is yuck and apparently that’s his too because he has that tattooed on his wrist. the meaning is sad kind of he said thats how he felt about himself when he was younger so that drove him to doing that tattoo to himself. he has another arm tattoo where he throws a small detail of him having it to remind him of his friend, his old life of being on the streets and being addicted to drugs. this threw me off because he brushed over it like it was nothing. i didn’t know what else to say. i said uh okay. i wanted to scream are you okay? are you sober now? how are you? but nothing came out. he talks of his other tattoos. conversation changes to him complimenting me again. he wants to see my while face instead just my eyes and nose. i tell him about piercings. he talks about his band. he talks about the punk community. he’s rambling but it doesn’t bother me because i like how soft and soothing his voice is. he continues telling me how pretty i am, like he doesn’t stop for like two minutes. at this point i tell him im not going to respond to you anymore, im not going to take it. he tells me to take it. i take it. i dont believe him though. he can’t see my body, he can barely see my face. i have ance and my face is fat. i know i look disgusting. as he continues to say nice things about me i feel like he’s lying because no one does that. i feel like he’s saying to just make fun of me. im hating all of this. i try not to blush. im smiling. i always change the subject when he makes me feel weird and uncomfortable by saying okay or alrighty anyway. he asks me where are you from, whats make me, me? i try to think of things to say. i tell him about my being in california with no family. i tell him that the one thing that matters the most to me if my relationship with my little sister and all my friends. he agrees because same. he goes on to relate and tells me he’s all alone too. he tells me his dad is gone, his mom is too. he’s an alcoholic. he’s sober now he’s been sober for a year now. he’s okay. i tell him im sorry. im proud of you and how far you have come. im always here if you want to talk. he says no no no no dont say any of that stuff. i tell him again and that i mean it. i really do mean it too. (IF NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE AND YOURE STILLING READING THANK YOU AND ILY, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH OBSESSIVE OR ADDICTIONS please be there for them, it gets super hard to be there but try and help them push through another day) we go on to more random talking. before i finally get sleepy and he says he’s gonna let me go and sleep. he asks if we can see each other. he tells me when he first saw me he wanted to fuck me but he knew that wouldn’t make him feel any better. he’d still be alone. he then decided to message me because he actually felt like putting in the effort to get to know me. not just for sake of fucking me but to know me like he seems to do a little now. he doesn’t much know about me though. he asks if we can talk tomorrow. he says i hope we can actually meet up and im totally cool with just hanging out with you and just vibing. we dont have to do anything. i just want to chill with you. i tell him thanks for telling me all of this. i appreciate it because many guys dont say any of this. i say yes we can talk tomorrow, i’ll text you. we can be friends and once this all settles down maybe we can meet in person. he then tells me, im only going to say this once and im never going to remind you again. im cool with friends with you but that’s not my intention. i want to be more than friends, i want to your person, your boyfriend. but until youre ready after a while of us talking and when it crosses your mind where you like me and think of me differently then we can move on to being more. i was just sitting starring at my phone in shock. i didnt know what to do or say. i was confused. in my mind i wss like okay yes we have a 2 hour text convo and a 3 hour phone call but what. you cant say of this after that can you. i agreed because it was the only that could come out of my mouth at the time. he says okay, my name, i’ll you go and sleep. goodnight. i tell him goodnight. we hang up the phone. now i turn my body around to my back on the bed starring at the ceiling saying what the hell just happened. i fall asleep. 

IM sORRY for my ramble. i was in shock and im confused and scared like what if turns out to be bad for me. but all the compliments, the soothing voice, the small hints well actually big hints of his battle with addiction. ps he also tells me about his anger issues and therapy. i feel weird. i slowly started to be seduced by him, like he started to seduce me. iykyk lmao. 

[pure-o-soft]

does anyone else have that ocd where it tries to justify other peoples bad deeds? “You know how bad guilt and suffering is u think that person deserves to be locked up or killed for a mistake” and im like wtf YES THE FUCKING DO. my ocd makes me try to sympathize with terrible people bc i think im a terrible person and i dont want to be punished (even tho i punish myself with guilt anxiety etc) when ik im not a terrible person like THEM. Then i feel bad for feeling bad for them when theyr bad ppl

Hey friend !

I can understand how, seeing how you already struggle with a lot of guilt from OCD, that this tendency could make you feel worse about yourself!

While I haven’t experienced this exact thing myself, I’m sure others have (and if anyone wants to, please feel free to respond)! But OCD has made you experience a lot! Every mental illness changes us in ways we don’t always understand at first, and it’s completely natural to begin thinking in a new way after having these experiences. Because you’ve experienced a lot of guilt and how torturous that is, I can understand you wondering about if they’re experiencing something similar to yourself. Just as you said, you don’t think what they did is excusable at all, but you fear somehow being like them. But the guilt from OCD is part of a mental illness, not because you’re actually a bad person!

All that being said, if these thoughts are seemingly coming up randomly, they could also be intrusive (seeing as they’re triggering more obsessive thinking and guilt). Your best course of action is most likely to treat them like intrusive thoughts and not argue with them, because they’re illogical and not based on anything! They don’t say anything about you or who you are. I know when intrusive thoughts present themselves more subtly it can be really hard to recognize them!

Wishing you all the best ❤️

[escriturasss]

Tic. Tac.

The clock strikes 5 o'clock.

'and with this concludes the class. Thank you for coming, in the next one will be practice from beginning' says Eunji wipping her damp face with a towel while the trainees stretch, rest and go out the salon.

'Bye teach!' Eunji responds every salute as the trainees say goodbye.

Sighing she starts to clean the classroom: wiping the mirrors, sweeping the floor, turning the lights out, when suddenly she gets startled by a figure.

'La concha de tu madre, Yeonjun'

'I guess i scared you' laughs the older one.

'yeah, no shit. A heads up will be welcome next time you dimwit' spats Eunji. 'Why are you here? Isnt your day off?'

'Yeah but i wanted to talk to you.'

Eunji looks at the young man through the mirror, standing shyly besides the door. She smiled knowing what was coming up. She left the rag on a chair next to her desk in the left corner of the room.

'yeah sure' says turning to confront him. She notices how his hands are gripping the sides of his pants, showing his nervousness.

'so um... You know how i like girls and... Well theyre actually really pretty with how they dress or style their make up and you are beutiful and...'

Trying to ease him she decides to tease him a little.

'Are you confesing to me? Jun you know i like someone else.'

'What? No!'' he blushes 'i dont like you!'

'Damn are you saying im not likeable?' she archs an eyebrow

'No! Its just youre not my type' he reddens.

'So im ugly.' she frowns trying to contain her smile.

'No!' yells Yeonjun.

Eunji cracked a laugh and saw how her friend and student relaxes and shows a smile at her.

'Im just teasing dear. I know what you are gonna say' she reaches him.

Yeonjun gapes with questioning eyes. 'do you?'

'Yeah!' she beams a smile. 'You want to bang and be banged!

'HAHAHA WHAT?'

Eunji watches with a fond look at Yeonjun who is wheezing in front of her.

'You cant be serious' He wipes a tear. 'what- who said that?'

'Oh, you know' She waves her hand with a proud look. 'An old saying we say in my country: queres ponerla y que te la pongan.

Yeonjun laughed again.

'You know its okay, right' Eunji smiled at him. Yeonjun smiled sadly and nodded. 'I mean, yeah, Korea its a pretty conservative country and me, as a foreigner who lives in a place where gay marriage is allowed... Well my advices wont be much of help.'

'But youre listening, and accepting me. Thats a lot, really.'

'Oh my god, you bitch. Youre gonna make me tear up' she started hitting his arm as they sat besides each other looking at themselves in the mirror. 'I like how you dont state anything but dont deny it either.'

Yeonjun smiled softly 'Yeah, i want to keep some things private. I mean, i love MOAs and im really thankful to them, they made us TXT the recogniced Boy Group' he chuckled. She listened. 'But im not Yeonjun 4th gen it boy, older one of Tomorrow by Together, im Choi Yeonjun a boy who wants to be loved.'

'Yeonjun... Oh dear, come here' she gathered him in her arms an gave him a hug. He gripped tightly and let his worries scape trough the form of tears. Eunji whispered 'Everything is gonna be fine, okay? Thank you for telling me this, you are so brave. You dont have anything to worry about. If you start doubting just come to me, were gonna figure something out'.

He let go of his grip on her and smiled a little. 'That sounds like a confession.'

'Oh dont worry i wont be confessing to someone who thinks im not his type' she teased.

'That wasnt it!' Whined Yeonjun. 'Do you think i should come out to the boys?'

'I think you should do as you please, if you want them to know go for it and if you want to wait its okay too. They will understand.'

'Thanks, Eunji' Yeonjun looked at his teacher fondly.

'Enough with this sapoy shit, god you have to be BISEXUAL.'

He laughed 'Whats wrong with it'

'THEYRE FULL OF SAPPY SHIT WTF YEONJUN WE ARE EARTH SIGNS. Damn leave this to Beomgyu.' she yelled frustrated.

'Why???'

'HE IS A PISCES'

'I cant stand you, bye.'

'No, no. Listen, Yeonjun. As a pisces he will have the need to-'

'Goodbye.' he interrumpted.

'Wait!' She watches as he leaves the salon. Approaching the door she says, looking at the figure walking dowb the hallway. 'Im not done and you know im right.'

He waves at her not looking back.

'Bitch' she murmured to herself content.

[gothic-gnosis]

hi

i know you might not text me ever again

but i wanna get out how im feeling. so a tumblr post will suffice.

i miss you a lot. a lot more than i really admit. i'm sorry.

it really sucks that i cant ever say anything to your face. or i just push and push. i lied about you not being my favorite person. obviously, you caught on but you have to understand. i dont wanna get hurt. i dont want to be pushed away or rejected or told i'm crazy. i didnt want you to leave. i didnt mean to push you into not talking to me ever again. i'm sorry for pushing that on you when you had enough going on. like wtf dude LMFAO that was kinda rlly fucking awful. and it hurt pretty bad too.

which isnt your fault, i'm not blaming you or asking for an apology or anything considering i hurt my own feelings. but holy shit, did that fucking hurt.

you obviously know i smoke a lot of weed but its gotten so much worse because now i smoke everytime i think of you. i miss you so bad but i feel like i shouldnt. i shouldnt have let myself fp you. i shouldve avoided you. this wouldnt be happening if id taken my own advice and taken the hint that i shouldve left you alone.

i dont think i deserve really. anything from you. i dont even know why you kept responding to me, i mean. i know that i text pretty heavily and never take hints ever but wtf dude. i mean, i know i asked that one time and you hit me with the uno reserve but damn dude. i be overthinkin like everything.

i think about the time you tied my boots a lot. i even took a photo after cause im a psycho and wanted the photo. but tiktok told me only boys who like u do that.

and then it hits me. u were probably only nice to me because you wanted to fuck. ooops. and the worst part is, i was being obsessive without even realizing. like i recognized "ok, dont fp this person cos ull get hurt like a dumbass" but. see, the thing is, you told me i was pretty. and now i wanna fucking die. i feel like god now, people see my face for the first time and it always becomes topic of discussion, and i dont bring it up first. like.. coworkers comment on my face, like my nose being straight and my cheekbones like.. thats what people notice after my eyes, my literal favorite feature. i even put a fucking needle through my face over it LMFAO. like now my egos a lil bit inflated. the thing is. everybody is pretty here. really pretty. we live in fucking san diego and are surrounded by like. rlly rich ppl who can afford body mods and shit. if people are telling me im pretty, i dont think theyre lying anymore. especially being in the beauty industry..

OH I FORGOT TO MENTION

i found out i have pretty privilege. like.. imagine. me being pretty enough to get stuff just cause of it. like, i have no job history or really any experience at all in customer service or hair at all after graduating school. my first job EVER was the salon. and they never fucking hire people without hella experience, im SO fucking under qualified but cause im tiny pretty goth girl with fuckin JOKES and shit, how tf can u pass up my dumb ass LMFAO

also, idk if you see me on ur fyp cause i exist on tiktok now. prolly not, cause im dumb. i feel like one day ill think about this and think its hilarious cause im not only oblivious but fucking Stupid.

i know one day youll text back. only when youre ready though. i think our relationship will definitely stay platonic considering i'm moving to seattle in less than a month and you seem like you kinda depend on fucking something, my dude. LIKE HONESTLY YOU KINDA TOLD ME SO MANY SUSPECT THINGS AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE. DUDE THATS SO BAD. i def feel like youre lying about your body count, but i definitely believe ur a thot who're, sir.

anyways im back after getting high and listening to bowie. uh. its 2:22.

[sugardaddyshuu]

Tagged by @kanebisexual​

Age: 18

Birthplace: Georgetown, Tx

Time: 11:55

Drink You Last Had: Wine lmao I’m drunk I got drunk with my parents

Easiest Person To Talk To: Hmmmm.... @kanebisexual​ is a very nice person and very easy to talk to I love them lmao

Also @graciefaace​ is super nice and I love them too, and also @the-languge-of-flowers​ is super duper cool and I love them as well (just assume I love everyone I tag after this lmao) @striderism​ theyre not a tg blog but I thought it was really easy to be myself messaging them even though Ive barely talked to them

Favourite Song:Uhhhhhm... idk maybe right now it’d be primadonna by marina and the diamonds because it reminds me of Shuu? you cannot convince me he doesnt listen to them or the canberries or that their music is not inspired by him despite the fact their music was written before tg was. It just fits him so well lmao

Grossest Memory: Umm... One time I had to clean tiny little baby poops out of a chipotle bathroom when I worked there it was really gross I gagged the whole time lmao

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

In Love: Omg theres so many people I’m “in love” with... First of all Tsukiyama Shuu, OBVIOUSLY, second, this girl I work with, Fallon... Shes such a babe omg shes so sweet and the other day she bumped into me kind of and only our hands touched and she was like “I just wanted to hold your hand <3″ and oH BOY DID I SWOON I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO RESPOND LMAO also my friend Claudia <333 a while back we were hanging out and I was feeling really awkward bc they were all servers and talking about server stuff and I’m a cook and dont really know wtf theyre talking about but she went out of her way to include me and make me and honestly she really reminded me of Hide and I’d always had a crush on her but I fell head over heals for her right then and there lmao.... Theres also this girl I’d just met that honestly I barely know but she messaged me so casually and she was so sweet when she talked to me and made me feel so appreciated I got a lil bit of a crush on her lmao;; She said I was beautiful and I about died. And last but not least theres this guy I work with, Emiliano, and when he first started I had a crush on his cuz he was awkward like me and also lowkey really cute but them this fuckin dipshit manager kevin said some stupid shit to him that made him start looking down on me bc obviously this was his first restaurant job; he had no sense of urgency whatsoever and was completely unaware of his surroundings and after that hed always be side eyeing me through the shift which would really piss me off but it didnt take long for him to realize despite kevin talking shit that one time im good at my job and I work really hard. Especially when hed see kevin coming to me to ask quesions and learning from me bc hes new and didnt really understand the positions at first, and especially after I started training the new prep cooks and he over heard them complaining because “””””its just so much all at once”””””” which yea you have to do a lot all at once, but its not as hard as it seems at first, youll get the hang of it. No one expects you to be amazing at first, prep is just one of those things that every day you do it you find a better way to manage your time and improve. It just gets easier and easier. But yea anyway over time we got closer and closer and now I think I really like him??? Hes such a cutie omg and hes so funny... hes awkward and quiet but once he comes out of his shell hes so cute and funny and sweet... The other day after taking like 5 hits off my friends dab pen I noticed he looks at me a lot when Im not looking and tbh that made me so happy... I like him so much lmao;;

Im the type to get little crushes on a lot of people a lot but these are the people I currently like the most.... Also I love my family and all my friends and alcohol and thc

Jealous of People: Who have no problems controlling their anger. I have to constantly remind myself to calm down, and understand other people pov and that makes me so sad???

Killed Someone: Honestly is there anyone on this site who could honestly say they have? a very small number maybe lmao

Love at First Sight or Walk By Again: Well love is a really strong emotion. Personally, I think love at first site is total bullshit. You cant know someone based on their appearance. You gotta get to know them first. 

Middle name: Alexis

Number of Siblings: 5! Jenny, Alana, Caitlin, Kailey, and Patrick, in order from oldest to youngest! I’m the youngest;;

One Wish: I wish I had a fairy godparent  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Person You Last Called: My sister Kailey. Shes always texting me to call her for some reason...

Question You Get Asked The Most: Probably what school I go to

Song You Last Sang: I think ‘Be Gay’ from Big Mouth? I’m bi but that song is my shit lmfao (I also recently rewatched Big Mouth bc its a great show lol all I’ve wanted to watch lately is F is for Family and Big Mouth but since I finished those all I’ve been watching is The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. which is HILARIOUS btw, if you havent watched it I highly recommend you do, it’s great and apparently Netflix just released some new episodes so!~)

Vacation Destination: Uhhhh idk Corpus??? Or California... Or Colorado... I want a beach and legal marijuana so I guess thats California

Worst Habit: I pick at my face a lot. And cuss a lot... And say ‘lmao’ after pretty much every sentence... 

X-Rays: Um.... Idk I’ve gotten plenty of ultrasounds on my heart bc I have an enlarged aorta if that counts????

Favorite Food: I gotta agree with @kanebisexual Cheesecake is delicious

I tag whoever wants to do this I guess... maybe @decadent--sin ?? I havent tagged them yet lmao

[knightofameris]

PLEASE DHSJWAKDJSJ at first i was wife #2 bc he constantly said “2 looks good on you” AND I WAS LIKE WTF BRO and then recently we had an “argument” about divorce but then we made up and suddenly i was bumped up to #1 even though, and i quote, “you are my only wife” HDWISNEKANDK im just glad i get to still have custody over his dog rage 🥺🥺🥺 and he always apologizes for having slow responses bc he isn’t on his phone much, and i genuinely thought this would bother me because i’ve had terrible experiences with slow responders (basically one guy i dated over the summer would not respond at all for a month and only replied when i broke things between us and that fucking sucked and then another guy who was a grade above me who knew i liked him said that his phone broke so he couldn’t text but would constantly post on his story and send snaps to me of him and his ‘girl friends’ cuddling and being all over each other 👍🏼👍🏼)

SO i thought i would be really anxious over him taking long to respond but i’m actually doing really well?? i think it’s because i know deep down he really isn’t like that. he’s said so many times that he loves talking to me and he’s really grateful we met and i just fhskenskf and i’m so fucking grateful for him because he apologizes since he’s never on his phone and goes out of his way to talk to me even when he’s tired and it’s been a long day. basically he’s been on his phone a lot more since we started talking and i feel very appreciated by that fact 👉🏼👈🏼 I’M JUST SO GLAD WE’RE FRIENDS BRO AND EVERYONE IS YELLING AT ME CONSTANTLY BECAUSE THEYRE LIKE DUDE HE LIKES YOU AND IM LIKE BUT WHAT IF HE DOESNT AND HES JUST BEING NICE ALSO I DONT WANT TO RUSH THINGS

i am so sorry for this ramble i hate it here —🧸<3

KDJFASJFAF “2 LOOKS GOOD ON YOU” DKSJFKASJFK BROOO HE’S SAYING THAT CUS HE DOESN��T WANT TO SOUND LIKE HE’S COMING ON TOO STRONG SO #2 SO IT’S NOT TOO STRONG THAN #1 LMAOOOO and his DOG???? custody over his dog LMAO

and omg 🥺i understand, you cant help but feel the same way because of a past experience so you build up walls. boys suck and like, especially high school boys??? idk man they all think they’re hot shit but they’re not 🤡and sometimes they don't even grow out of it in college 😭😭but there are the rare guys who are just in the know, in tune with their own emotions and have a better understanding of the world, and actually have empathy and are willing to learn. yk? definitely rare but they’re out there!

and thats’ good! i’m really really glad! if he does anything lmk and i’ll fucking fight the dude idcidc. you deserve someone that treats you right 🥺also i WILL AGREE, DON’T RUSH THINGS. (i mean in my friend’s case, it worked for her somehow so like, it’s really how you work with it but-) i think he likes you just form this vibe im getting from what you’re saying lOOOOL. IT’S OKAY THO AHAHAH WHAT WILL BE WILL BE. I’M GLAD YOU MADE A FRIEND TOO

and NO APOLOGIZING HERE JDFAJFFJ we both ramble and that’s okay because this is my blog and i say it’s okay fuck everyone else

[swearronchanel]

Impromptu post, thoughts during 5.05

I'm so pissed I literally lost an earring at some point today and just realized. So I ripped my dorm room apart looking for it (no luck of course) and now it's 9:30 so I already missed half of the new episode of Jane the Virgin. Also my earrings are from Tiffany's, they were a Christmas gift a couple years ago & I can't afford to replace it😭 whatever you guys don't care about this, I'm so tired but I refuse to fall asleep at 9:30pm because I'll wake up at like 5am. So I decided to watch a random episode of Call The Midwife and share my thoughts.

Ok I'm going with 5.05, since we just saw 6.05 lol, idk If there's any logic but just go with it alright

ah the old credits, I really like the new ones though. Especially the color

"We were moving from a time of guessing.." I love how the show explains & shows that times are changing

The health report! Littt

"I feel a drumroll is in order" Shelagh is so precious!! 💖 I love her Scottish accent && side note I still wish they would mention one day how she got London. It literally does not matter at all but we know next to nothing about her past and im curious ?! More of Shelagh’s past pls

WAIT ONE OF MY FAV SHELAGH LINES IS COMING

"Patrick Turner, GP License to Practice Medicine and Secret Agent Shelagh Turnova save Poplar from ill health and disease!" I LOVE ITTTT😂 ONE OF HER BEST LINES EVER DONT @ ME, her laugh at the end is priceless ah! Shelagh is lowkey funny af she just rarely gets to opportunity and again Laura Main is an actual gem 😍

KEEP FIT

Trixie looking so good😍 i need her to whip my ass back in to shape. i havent worked out in like 3 months yikes

but seriously is this really my train of thoughts if i dont mention how perfect Helen George is?

yea its fuccking cancer, cigs are no joke

lol did they really not notice Tim reading Freud?

Also why did Shelagh ever think smoking cigarettes was a good idea after she freaking had tb? i forgive her though shes my bby💕

phyllis! my mother and hero

oh yea this lady cant read

forgot she was a ex-prostitute

vi and fred doing jumping jacks im dead, theyre a cute couple

Where did frankincense come from??

lol violet didnt wanna give up the bathroom door "we may be married but i still have my dignity"

Mrs Dooly? Is that her name (idk)

I can so see Shelagh delivering her baby herself like this lady did, but obviously she’d know what’s happening. You think Shelagh is going to freak out while giving birth though? hmm  

"I do like a milky brew" WHY IS THAT FUNNY😂😂 I like the Delia & Sister MJ interaction

PHYLLIS TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IS SYMBOLISM FOR ME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER #barelymanaging

does laying on a door really help a messed up back?

Those awful sleeves on Delia's uniform *cringe*

"I am not trusted with medical emergencies" I TRUST YOU SISTER MJ💕 lowkey hope the delivery sister MJ is involved in is Shelagh's

If I had to deliver my own baby I'd be freaking the fuck out too, like I'm not Dr Quinn

The Nonnatus Fam all at the table makes me happy😭

Sister Winifred rolling her eyes in the back 😂😂😂

"I'll be washing my hair and reading magazines from now on" yo sister Winifred is growing on me tbh?? Wow lol

"Ive always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding than the organ itself" 😂😭 love sister MJ

Everyone in the convent shook😂 again sister W has the best reactions 😂 dick jokes are 100x funnier when they're made in a convent & 1000x funnier when they're made by a nun

Shelagh's "percussion" on Tim's back I'm dead lmfaoo

I don't remember if she has post partum ?

Fred taking over the shop😂 I miss when Fred used to scam though😭

"I'm missing my monthlys" "monthly whats?" Oh Fred cmon 😂

Tim snatching those cigarettes

Barbara trying to measure this lady😂😂 she's so awkward, love it

She leaves her baby outside smh

"Gosh James knows how to show a chap a nice time"  ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH LINE😂 give my bby more great lines 😭😂

I LOVE CHEEKY SHELAGH, I LOVE SHELAGH ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN SHE HAS NO LINES OR IS CRYING AND SAD (WHICH IS TOO OFTEN & WE NEEDA CUT THAT OUT)

Laura Main and Helen George calmly ruined me, I never was like this? How did I end up literally crying every week for fictional characters ??

Shelagh and Patrick's faces were so smug just now I love it

Yikes those lungs

Reminds me of all the gross anti smoking commercials. Also Patrick is shook but I'm not too surprised

I love that Phyllis is so understanding and doesn't judge any patient  💕

"You have the rest of your life to get the hang of it" I NEEDED THAT TOO PHYLLIS THANKS

LMAO FRED "Because hell will freeze over first"

so yes post partum??

Phyllis is annoyed bc she wants to work on her Spanish and babs is taking too long with the dishes 😂😂te querio mucho phyllis

Tim sparking up lol 🚬

Here comes trouble

I wanna rip Patrick's index finger off. Remember that time he wagged his finger and Shelagh and I was ready TO FREAKING FLIP

but yea wtf you knew this would happen Tim

Shelagh's just like "Tim no" I love u Shelagh but what does that do lmao your husband is exploding

"You'll what, light it for me!?" BOYYYY ARE YOU BRAVE KID

If I responded like that my parents would've flipped, there most likely would've been a chancla coming at me  😭😂

But seriously Patrick should know better not to smoke lol

What does Roxanne mean this isn't real??

Aw cute Patrick and Tim moment, and a year later they're getting drunk off one beer and throwing darts into the wall😂

I want to see more of Phyllis with babies aww

Also not really related but I hope Phyllis has some good lines defending the pill when it comes back up. Remember when she had babs shook when she told the story of the soldier she spent a weekend away with😏 imagine her telling the other nurses?

Used to hang out at a Jazz club Patrick?? lol interesting  

damn get that radium treatment man

"The real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run" Phyllis Fucking Crane spilling the tea as always. How did I not like her once upon a time??

Could Shelagh get any cuter eating biscuits? No she could not

lol biscuits aren't just for fainters!! Ah I don't miss sister Ursula 🙃

that's not your mother😐 (I knew where she was going though but you know I'm gonna say it anyway)

More Shelagh and Phyllis interaction yes pls

How much is a shilling? #ignorantamerican

Fred hiding from the costumers 😂😂

Yes Vi! Defend ur man & kick this rude ass lady out

Lol now Patrick telling other people to quit smoking. Don Draper tried man, it's gonna take u a while 😭

I'm here for the Phyllis and Sister W dynamic (more now that Phyllis is teaching her how to drive 😂)

Ah I love going back to old episodes when I know what happens in the future, also I notice things I didn't notice before and make connections and yea, you catch my drift lmao

"We don't choose to be unloved by those who should love us"💔

we truly don't deserve Phyllis. SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER AND IM CRYING

"Shame will keep us in all kinds of prisons if we let it" 😭😭😭

Patrick has a puppy face rn

Wait they went this long without naming the baby??

omg speaking of that, I really want to know what the gender of baby Turner is going to be and what it will be named😭😭

Vi is precious lol & Fred lifting her is cute. Patrick never lifts Shelagh😂

Aw speaking of my bbys💕💕

So precious it’s almost strange Turner family moment

Why do so many people hate that couch? Like it doesn't bother me or maybe I don't care enough about the background?

Angela has grown so much in a year wow, she looks a lot younger here

lol Shelagh and Patrick are like "um wtf psychology??" 😂

Wait Angela made a noise😂 when will she actually speak??

Haha Shelagh you're going to need new dresses but you don't know yet 😭😂💕 I still can't believe she's having a baby. I Love it.

"You're my world" lol that was so cute but also I still think Tim is too perfect of a child?? what teenager is so pleasant with his parents all the time 😂 plus he's always with them and his baby sister? #givetimalife2k17aka1962

Aww all the cute concluding moments & Vanessa Redgrave saying something profound and we are done.