#scared shitles

[chimkin-samich]

Nebulas act 2 part 11

As promised... The next and last two parts will come tomorrow...

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / part 11 (you are here)

[highvern]

Silk

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x fem!reader

Genre: smut, friends to lovers, established relationship

Warnings: weed mention, alcohol mention, moments of self-doubt/insecurity, oral (f. receiving), fingering, boyfriend Mingyu, making out, hickies, mentions of frat!svt, grinding, panty/pussy job, cumshot, first time together, mentions of previous partners, not seeing heaven pt II!

Length: ~4.3k

Note: another Drunk Goggles installment! this is probably gonna be the last one for a while tbh. im working on something new for my gamer boy husband wonwoo as we speak. "adamas et aurum" was written to balance the depravity that takes place.

MDNI! 18+ ONLY

read more here

Mingyu doesn’t recall the details of the first time he saw you naked. At least what your nude body actually looked like. He remembers it being at his frat’s mountain weekend junior year, that one of the other guys brought you as their date, and how Mingyu’s then girlfriend had broken up with him that morning when he came to pick her up to leave for the cabin. The second he arrived he holed up in his assigned room upstairs, listening as people arrived throughout the day from under the covers.

When he finally came down, he stumbled into an already out of hand game Truth or Dare thanks to Hoshi and his liberal drink pours. Everyone was laughing wildly, DK’s shirt was wrapped around his head, and Joshua looked like he had just taken a shower fully clothed.

“I dare you to go skinny dipping in the lake.”

Everyone knew about Jun’s crush on you so the dare just made Mingyu roll his eyes as he grabbed a beer and walked out onto the porch overlooking the water, hoping to drown his sorrows in the bottom of the bong he brought with him. 

You had never been one to back down, so it was no suprise Mingyu was watching you sprint down the steps towards the lake, discarded clothes fluttering to the ground behind you. He caught sight of your bare rear seconds before you hit the surface with a splash, and that was that.

All in all, Mingyu doesn’t remember much about it.

But the first time Mingyu sees you naked as the girl he’s dating, he’s tempted to grab his phone and document the occasion so he can relive the moment again and again. 

He hadn’t planned for anything to happen tonight beyond the nice dinner he treated you to followed by a stroll downtown. When he walked you to your door to kiss you goodnight, you invited him in. Mingyu thought it was because you didn’t want to end the night yet, happy to oblige you’re desire to prolong his company. 

You’d confessed to each other almost a month ago, and in that time Mingyu tried to be nothing less than a gentleman. Most of his behavior is ingrained in him already: holding open the car door for you, walking on the outside of the sidewalk, getting you the same small bouquet of wildflowers you love from Ms. Kwon every Saturday. All of it as easy as breathing due to his innate drive to care for those who mean the most to him.

Other less appropriate behavior, reserved for you and only you, fights tooth and nail to claw its way out of the most depraved parts of his mind.

The first time you made out, he barely stopped himself from flipping over to pin you against the couch and have his wicked way with you. When he felt you up in the back of his car at the drive in for the first time like a desperate teenager, he had to actually bite his tongue to keep from ripping your shirt off and exploring everything underneath. The few times you’ve sent him suggestive text messages, usually accompanied by a photo of you in the bath with the naughtiest bits covered by bubbles or a suggestive mirror selfie that highlighted your figure, Mingyu nearly cries when stopping himself from sending an even more suggestive response.

The issue isn’t that he thinks you’d dislike him doing those things, tempting him more and more with each passing day. But Mingyu’s worst fear at this point in your very new relationship is that you’ll think he only wants you for sex. Scared shitless that he’s misread the signals you’ve given him, confused innocent gestures as a go ahead to lust and crave. So his simple solution is to not do anything, provide nothing that can point even remotely in that direction. A perfectly PG relationship so you don’t misunderstand his interest.

To say it was a bomb to your self-esteem is an understatement. Mingyu is always the one to pull away first, the one to stop things when they verge on being more, before anything can go too far. Tonight you invited him in with the intention to ask him what his deal was. You know he’s not inexperienced; confirmed by several of your friends in college sharing details after spending a night in his bed. And it hardly seems that he’s regretting sharing his feelings with you; never missing an opportunity to inform you how beautiful he thinks you are or how much he likes spending time with you. The collection of good morning and good night texts littering your phones, each a precious reminder that you’re the first person he thinks of when he gets up and last before he goes to sleep. Down to his eagerness in planning dates, making reservations or buying tickets the second he knows your calendar is clear, effort oozing from his pores. You don’t know any guy that would try even half as much as Mingyu does if they weren’t interested.

There didn't seem to be any hardware issues on his end either. The first time you made out on your couch, the tantalizing feel of his hard cock against your bottom told you he was at least attracted to you. You just don’t get why he doesn’t seem to want to touch you the same way you yearn to touch him.

Tonight starts like it always does. Sitting a little bit too close on the couch, Mingyu’s hand finding your thigh, your own playing with his fingers as you discuss this and that. He tells you how Wonwoo finally got the courage to ask out his coworker he had a crush on. You update him on the work drama with your manager.

Eventually, someone shuffles closer, eyes meet, a head tilts, and all of a sudden your tongue grazes his as he coaxes you into his lap.

Testing the waters, you gently rock your hips against his as you nip his earlobe, releasing a stifled gasp when he rise to meet you. Embolden by his response, your fingertips skate up his chest as you arch further into him, lips searching for his.

“We should—mhm— slow down.” Mingyu pants into your mouth, making no effort to remove himself from you despite his words.

“But I want you.” You gasp as the next buck of his hips has the rough fabric of his jeans grinding against your barely covered pussy as your short dress rucks up higher and higher on your hips.

Dropping to Mingyu’s neck, you hope the rake of your teeth on his jaw will convince him to touch you the way you desperately need.

Your right hand is twisted through his hair, sending chills down his neck when your nails scratch his scalp. The other covers his as you place it on your breast, arching your chest and urging him to give it a gentle squeeze.

“Fuck,” Mingyu groans, eyes trained on the way you fill his palm perfectly.

His next squeeze is answered with another moan. Mingyu knows it’ll burn his ears next time he’s alone in his room.

“Wait.” He breaths.

Mingyu’s tone tells you he’s serious. Still in his lap, you lean back to look down at his face.

His eyes are closed and long breath leaves his nose before he mutters, “We should stop.”

“Oh.” You exclaim shakily.

You try to not let the hurt that arises bleed into your voice but it’s impossible. 

Crawling out of his space, you sit back on the cushion next to Mingyu, putting a foot of distance between you. You focus on anything else besides the man beside you, training your eyes on how your fingers pick at the hem of your dress. The silence between you two is uncomfortable in a way it's never been before.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Obviously it's not fine.”

“I guess I’m just,” you pause searching for the best way to explain yourself, still unable to look at him. “confused? Everytime we start, you know, you stop. Am I making you uncomfortable? Do you not want to?”

“No!” He winces, shocked by the booming volume of his own voice. “No, I just— I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Finally looking at him, you ask, “What part of putting your hand on my boobs makes you think I don’t want you to do it?”

“I,” Mingyu responds, hand dragging down his face. “I don’t wanna mess this up and push you too far o—”

“Mingyu, stop it!” You snap, annoyed with his self sacrificing. “You're not gonna mess anything up by touching me. I thought I made it pretty obvious I want you to.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do.” You try to reel in your irritation but it's impossible.

“Why are you mad?”

“Because you’re acting like I can’t make my own decisions.”

“That’s not what I–”

You jump up from the couch to stand in front of him, arms flailing as you grunt in frustration.

“Yes, it is!” 

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman!”

“Well stop!”

“Fine!” he shouts, matching your own exasperation.

Mingyu throws you over his shoulder in a second, long legs carrying him towards your room. He’ll be damned if the first time he touches you, really touches you, is on the cramped lumpy couch in your living room. 

“Put me down!” you yell, fist pounding at his back and kicking your legs in an attempt to get free.

A gentle slap on your ass has your breath stalling. It’s not enough to hurt, barely a brush of his hand but it has your mind reeling all the same.

“Be good.” Mingyu orders, voice rough as gravel.

Oh, wow.

“And if I’m not?”

His steps falter before he continues down the hall, “Haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”

Well at least he hasn’t been completely possessed. 

He gently sets you down on the foot of your bed, stepping back to stand in front of you with his hands on his hips which cocks to the side. You almost laugh at the way he looks like a mom about to scold her kid. 

“I’m not gonna fuck you tonight.” He states simply.

“Why not?” You protest.

Shame rises in your throat like bile when Mingyu hesitates.

“I wanna take things slow.”

“Oh…okay, that's okay.” You reassure him, reach to take one of his hands in yours. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to touch you. But we’re not having sex tonight.”

“That’s okay too.”  You can’t hide the way your breath stutters, flashes of his hand between your legs clouding your mind.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod. “whatever you want.”

“Can I take your dress off?”

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” You tease, smiling mischievously up at him.

Mingyu's own mouth twists as he snags the neck of his shirt, subconsciously flexing the muscles along his arms and stomach enticingly as it rises over his frame. If anyone asks, he’d deny doing it on purpose but the way your eyes scorch across his skin makes him tense just a little bit more. His vision is blacked out by the fabric as it comes over his head, but when it's gone he sees heaven.

The lilac sundress you’d worn to dinner is gone, leaving your hair ruffled from its hasty removal, fluffed around your face enticingly. But it's what was under your dress that has Mingyu’s tongue on the verge of rolling out of his mouth and heart beating like a cartoon character. Your chest is wrapped in a silky pink bra, swells of flesh threatening to spill over the cups with each breath that stretches your lungs, stiff nipples poking through the edge of the fabric. The alluring pull of a matching pair of panties across your hips, accentuating your curves in the best ways, makes his cock twitch; but when you spread your legs, unveiling a tantalizing damp spot, nearly translucent where it clings to your folds teasingly, floods each of his senses with a specific type of hunger.

Fuck.

“Pants too.” You demand, but quickly correct yourself. “If that's okay.” 

You stare at one another for a beat. The clank of Mingyu’s belt being undone is the only sound beyond the duet of shaky breaths. His eyes don’t leave your face as he bares himself down to his briefs, but yours skim down his body, blazing as they trail across his form, to settle on the obvious bulge behind the cotton. When you swallow harshly, Mingyu’s ego flares.

“Come here.” You beckon.

Complying easily, Mingyu covers your body with his; arms caging you in below him as your thighs spread to cradle his hips. He settles on top of you, length nestled snugly between your folds, tip nudging your mound with each breath. It's maddening. Especially when Mingyu can feel your arousal seeping through his underwear and coating the underside of his cock.

Your noses brush gently, fleeting passes of lips as you settle against one another. You’ve only ever briefly felt Mingyu through thick layers of clothing, whether that when you wiggle your way in his lap or the few times you’ve woken up with his length pressed snugly against your ass. It gave you an idea of his size but in no way prepared you for the feel of him now, rigid as steel against your soaking center and threatening to burn you from the inside out. 

“Oh wow,” you gasp into his mouth, relishing in the slow curl of his hips against you.

“I know,” he nods, mind lost in the sweltering heat between your legs threatening to consume him.

You continue to writhe against one another, mouths meeting in rough passes of teeth and tongues. Your ankles lock at the base of his spine, pulling him firmly against you as your hands flutter across his skin, unable to stay in one place for long. Mingyu’s arm propped above you keeps his weight from crushing you, his other settles on the side of your neck, thumb tilting your chin up so his tongue can delve into your mouth. 

A particularly delicious grind of his hips has your head thrown back, moan aimed at the ceiling as you thrash pathetically. It lets Mingyu look at you. Cheeks and chest glowing with a rosy tint, a faint sheen of sweat blooming across your skin as you whine in his hold. The straps of your bra have fallen down your arms, one nipple peeking out from under the fabric, taunting him. 

The harsh suck of his mouth across your breast pulls your back tight like a bowstring. His tongue worships your chest, laving broad strokes you imagine will feel amazing on other parts of your body. He's everywhere, consuming you like a blackhole, ripping apart your entire being and leaving you disoriented. Head tipped back, you bare as much of yourself as possible for Mingyu to touch and tease; all while your abdomen tenses as your lower half cants against his.

Arching just enough to give you room to reach around, you snag the clasp of your bra relieved that the underwire is no longer digging into your chest uncomfortably. Your arms raise to pull it off, leaving you bare from the waist up for Mingyu to admire. 

“Like what you see?” You whisper, relishing in the shell shocked expression on Mingyu’s features.

He can only nod, gaze burning a hole through your chest straight to your heart.

One of his hands cup your chest gently, taking time to let the weight of the swollen flesh settle in his palm. He thumbs the stiff peak, still glossed with his spit from his earlier ministrations. Mingyu puckers his lip to blow a cool stream of air, delighting in the choke whine you release.

“Can I touch you too?”

“Please.” he moans, diving to leave a bruise on the side of your breast.

A depraved idea enters your head, whispering from the most primal parts of your mind. Mingyu said he’s not going to fuck you and you respect that wholeheartedly; the idea of waiting warming your soul. But you want to feel as much of him as possible; revel in the slide of his scorching length against you, deliver the long overdue pleasure you both want. 

“If you don’t like it we can stop.”

“Okay.”

Mingyu doesn't inform you that he doubts he'll dislike anything you do to him. Instead, he stares at your hand pushing his underwear down, fingers circling his cock in awe as you touch him for the first time. His body is miles away from his brain, like he’s drowning under crashing waves and you’re the sun he can see on the surface. Your thumb smears the beads of pre-cum collected at his tip, twisting your tight grip around the head to work him up. Sweat breaks out on his forehead, muscles in his arms jumping at the feeling of your smooth palm. He knows the image of your hand wrapped around his cock is branded in his mind forever. 

But then you do something he doesn’t expect. Your free hand grabs your underwear, moving the crotch to the side and uncovering your slit entirely. The flesh that peeks out from the outer folds is flushed a delicious pink, glistening in the low light with the evidence of your desire. When you hook the bulbous head of his cock under the hem he panics for a second, afraid you’re going to slip him inside. But you just wiggle you hips till he nudges your engorged clit, skin on skin with no barrier. Letting go of the fabric, Mingyu thinks he might be drooling when his cock is covered by soaked silk, sandwiching him against you. The erotic sight kills any coherent thoughts he has left.

“You’re —,” Mingyu starts, tongue heavy in his mouth. “What the fuck—”

He can’t stop watching how his cock moves, able to discern the nearly purple head of his length through the see-through silk that clings to his weeping tip. Your hand rests on your mound over your panties, pointer and middle finger forming a V to border the flared head on either side, giving him a bumper to grind against and forcing him a fraction harder against you.

“Move.” you beg, voice just as wrecked as his. “Please, Gyu.”

Who is he to deny you any longer?

Arms straining as he holds himself up, Mingyu keeps his gaze trained on where you're connected, entranced. Below him, you’re twisting in the sheets, twitching with each prod against your clit but your hand keeps him from slipping away.

Flashes of how from any other angle it looks like he’s drilling you into the bed, stuffing you with his cock rather than rutting against you pathetically, enter his mind. The firm pressure of your knees against his sides, ankles brushing his waist with each roll of his hips barely register in his conscious. Free hand scratching against his chest, your nails raise red lines and dimple his flesh with tiny crescents as he pummels your clit, slick with a mixture of his spunk and your own arousal. Needy whimpers singing into his ears are answered with his own groans, tempting him to shut his eyes and just feel if not for the vision below him.

The realization that he can feel you clench pitifully where his balls press against you, teasing him to just angle his hips a little bit lower and take you like he desperately wants has him surging against you even harder.

The sudden rush of stimulation overwhelms you, forcing your mind to shut down. It's all too much. The feeling of Mingyu above you, using your pussy to get off, fogs your brain. The crude rhythmic squelch where you meet sends shooting stars across the corners of your eyes. How his cock presses against your clit just so, dribbles of his pre-cum coating your most sensitive parts. The harsh squeezes of his hand on your breast, pinching the stiff peek of your nipple while his teeth nip your neck you feel like you might pass out.

“Mingyu!” You keen, chest pressing against his, allowing you both to revel in the drag of your skin on his.

The broken sound of his name on your lips skyrockets Mingyu to his end. Euphoria exploding in his chest, pleasure running from his balls to the tip of his cock as he loses all control of his body. His chest caves and breath stops as he jerks in your hold, rutting against you as his seed pushes through the ruined fabric of your underwear, collecting in globs above where his tip rests right on your clit; you’re fingers still pressing down on your underwear glossed in the overflowing pool of pearly fluid. Mingyu leans up as far as he can to watch, wishing to live this moment again and again. 

“Fuck, fuck!” He chants horsly, unable stop his own hips, even when the friction becomes tortious.

With one last pass he finally calms, muscles spasming as he collapses onto your chest.

The heavy weight pressing you into the bed makes you shudder below, another rush of wetness escaping.

“Good?”

Mingyu just groans into your shoulder, attempting to catch his breath.

“You’re crazy.”

You give an indignant huff, jaw clenching in mock annoyance.

“Don’t act like you don’t know.”

“Yeah well you clearly liked it!”

“My beautiful girlfriend just let me get off using her panties that she’s wearing. I’d be insane if I didn’t.”

“Girlfriend?” 

Suddenly, you're breathless for an entirely new reason.

“If that’s okay with you.” Mingyu mumbles, comically shy as if he didn’t just cum on you.

“That’s definitely okay with me.” 

“Good.”

“Now, how about you make your girlfriend come too?”

Mingyu nearly falls off the bed in his haste to do just that. Throwing your legs wide, he bullies his way between your thighs to gape at the mess of your panties. Nothing he’s ever seen in his life can compare. Something he doesn’t think even the most debased part of his brain could have imagined but you’ve given him knowledge of a kink he didn’t even know he had. Mingyu just stares, damning his refractory period; ruining the carnal desire to cover you in his seed again and again, until the possessive part of his brain is sated and you’re both on the verge of unconsciousness.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You chide above, impatience reading its head.

“Don’t play with me right now.”

You don’t want to overwhelm him more than you have so you bite your tongue against the urge to tell him you're serious. Maybe next time you’ll let him know how much the idea of him walking around with such a salacious image on his phone turns you on.

“Then touch me, Gyu.”

As pretty as you are covered in silk soaked with his cum, Mingyu knows you’re even more beautiful without the scrap of fabric. Taking a second to rub the puddle of fluids back into the fabric, you twitch as the pad of his finger massages your sensitive clit. When your hips pitch forward to seek more friction, he nearly rips your underwear with his clumsy hands in his haste to free you from them. At the sight of your bare slit, Mingyu pauses. The number of choices he’s presented with nearly drowns him; whether to taste or tease, stuff your clenching hole with his fingers or lick you from top to bottom, maybe make you show him what you like before trying it himself.

But first, Mingyu needs a better look at what he’s working with.

“Hold your legs open, baby.”

Before he can blink, your hands eagerly hook under your knees to spread yourself wide, void a timidity as you reveal yourself; unveiling every hill and valley, soft flesh dappled with pearls of his cum. Desire rushes Mingyu forward to collect the mess with his tongue, a throaty groan clawing its way out of his chest at the combination of fluids.

“Taste so fucking good,” he rasps. “You’re so hot.”

Lightening erupts in your veins under the languid heat of his tongue, every muscle twitching as he delivers maddening swirls through your folds. The fact that Mingyu is tasting the lasting traces of himself as he eats you out is like a punch to the gut. Broad strokes against your clit distract you from his hand sneaking up to circle your opening before a thick finger enters you. 

But the stretch isn’t nearly enough for how wrecked you feel, already teetering on the edge.

“More!” 

The hand you’ve ghosted down your front is pinned to the bed before you can even make it below your belly button.

“You’re gonna take what I give you.” He informs you, but gives you another finger all the same.

When a needy moan tickles his ears, Mingyu knows you’re waving a white flag, a wordless plea for him to continue playing with you as he pleases.

Fingers pistoning, Mingyu’s pointed tongue circles the bundle of nerves at the top of your slit. When he crooks the digits buried deep inside you, your back leaves the bed. The hand pinning your wrist abandons its grip, allowing him to use his fingers to spread your folds and keep your clit uncovered for his tongue to lash at.

“Don’t stop,” you cry, voice thick and broken. “Please, I’m so close.”

Both of your hands find the soft strands of his hair to hold him in place. Your feet plant on the bed beside his wide shoulders, allowing you to hump his face pathetically as the drenched squelch of Mingyu’s mouth against you fills your ears.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,”

Your finish is bubbling to the surface, a roaring boil in your blood that deafens all your senses except where your boyfriend plays with you. Mingyu’s arm stretches up your torso to palm your breast, fingers pulling your taunt nipple. He’s pulling out all the stops, trying his hardest to send you over the edge.

“Come on, pretty girl. Let me make you come.” he begs around your clit.

“Please!” you sob. “Please, please, please!”

You’re in a frenzy above him, ecstasy inches away. Your hips bucking is so hard they threaten to dislodge him but Mingyu takes it in stride. Elbowing your thighs apart, forcing them up and open to pin you in place so he can keep going. It tickles a part in your brain that imagines what he’ll do when he does fuck you for the first time, spreading you out before making you take his cock. 

The visual paired with stretch from a third finger sets you free.

“I’m—Mingyu! Oh my god!”

The simmer in your blood boils over, starting at your core and rushing to your toes and fingertips. Wrecked moans leave your bruised lips, eyes squeezed against the licks of pleasure overwhelming you. The only thing you can hear is the rush of blood in your ears as every muscle in your quivers so hard tears gather in your eyes. He doesn’t stop as you twitch in his hold, arms flexing as he strains to keep you spread so he can work you through it. You clench so hard around his fingers his arm halts before putting in more effort to pummeling your pussy. When you cry at the overstimulation he finally relents, delivering a last long lick along your slit before moving away.

Mingyu’s face is soaked, chin and cheeks covered in your juices, nose and cheeks flushed. You just stare, mouth open in wonder as he sucks his fingers clean.

“Holy shit.”

“You okay?”

“Shhhhh.” You press a finger to his pursed lips. “Brain goo, hot boyfriend just made me cum.”

Mingyu crawls up your body, peppering gentle kisses here and there as he goes. When you're face to face you just stare at each other, expressions full of fondness and exhaustion.

“But seriously, where the fuck did you learn that?”

Mingyu’s question is answered with a maniacal giggle.

[eranthiss]

Drayton is near.

Threaten my character in 15 words or less. Try to scare them as much as you can!

"Yeah, you forget that the little shit's gonna want to see his grandfather sometimes. Maybe Drayden will finally give the shitling enough motivation to take anything seriously."

[v-anrouge]

When at first i sent u the asking u for being my moot i was scared shitl

PLEASE WHY IM SO PATHETIC

[ritzyperry]

oh. wow i just realized. how did i not notice someone else was using my account by the fucking. harry potter reblogs? i havent evne read the fukcing books nor do i want to. and dont even get me started on jk shitling.... how did i somehow not notice that between my normal reblogs what is going on???????????????????? was i eeven "hacked" in that way;? was it an ex friend that i somehow was stupid enuog to give my TUMBLR password of all things? but then why would my other blogs with the sam one not be hacked. or like. i dont do account sharing either. nor have i ever been friends wjith anyone who likes harry potter? im kind fo scared right now becaus the only other possibility i think of is my sister on here or someething but she doesnt even like harry potter eith]er. why is harry fucking potter driving me insane right now. why couldnt this hacker just be normal and do normal hacker thingjs like extract my credit card information

[spaghett-onaplate]

Alrighty so

Yesterday: Saw this fella on the playground, I'll call them Lord Shitling. LS was staring me down, the retail employee instinct kicked in and I gave them a smile. Also smiled because dyed hair, most likely another queer person. Mostly though idk it's just being a Person

Lunch today: I was sitting on the grass with a group, LS approaches and talks to me, asks if I'm new. Normal stuff! It was fine. They mentioned how their friends were scared to speak to me since I'm older. We made regular small talk, I've done plenty of that with all new people. They said they thought I looked like cavetown, kinda funny. LS said how people thought they were a trans girl instead (longish hair). They did say their name but I forgot it. So I was a bit uncomfortable they probably clocked me and so wanted to speak to an older queer person, that was fine though

After school today: I got to my station, Lord Shitling was there. I said I didn't know they caught the lightrail, they said they don't. They were "exploring." I was slightly uncomfortable but continued to make small talk. When the train pulled up it was very crowded, they approached the nearest door to try and get on. I skedaddled to a further down door and got on, I actually felt kinda bad about ditching them but I was just uncomfortable. The doors shut and they looked a little dejected.

So yeah 😭 At the station they mentioned they and their friends sorta pointed me out going around, I said yeah most friendgroups have a guy like that and I'm flattered that I'm the guy of interest. And I am! But what I'll say next time is that it's one thing to approach me on the playground, and a whole different thing to go completely out of your way to partially follow someone you don't know home. Because Lord Shitling definitely expected to get on the train with me.

I am flattered! I think it's funny as hell! I understand why people would want an "elder" queer friend. But also unsettling and weird and not funny of them, only a funny predicament to be in. So tomorrow/next time LS or the other Shitlings (who I haven't met yet) approach me I'll just tell them that

I found out a group of 13 year olds are parasocially invested in me because they think I look like cavetown. I'm unsure how to feel about it but will provide the full story later

[scorpcorpse]

5/18/20 - type time 732-822pm

so yesterday i went on tinder just like i always do when im feeling extra bored and lonely. well anyway i matched with cute looking boy so he messages me. 

PS im writing all of this here because i feel weird telling my friends what was all said. i told them a bit but not everything.

so we end up talking, and surprisingly it was a good conversation. it was very random though. im laughing and smiling at my phone. my conversations die fast or are about topics i dont really care for. im always into the conversation though no matter what especially because i like talking to people. moving on, you cant send picture on tinder so he sends me his number while reassuring me that he wont be sending dick pics (yay). he’s ranting on and on, flooding my phone with compliments. we’re talking this whole quarantine to him thanking the universe he’s glad he’s talking to a person who is pretty and cool. we talk about all the weird interactions we’ve had on this app and how everyone is soooo horny. he goes to tell me he loves my hair, he says i look like the type of girl, in a show, if i had just gone through hell, and i were to run my fingers through my hair it would just fall back into over my face so perfectly. i was like wtf. i didnt know what to say because that is very very very far from the truth. i would just look like hell. we go on to talk about our personalities and whether we are more introverted or extroverted. he’s more introvert while im more extrovert. i told him though it kind of changes depending on the situation like if i was on a date or getting serious with a person. we talk about how we hate it when people are mean to others by telling others to be quiet when theyre being too loud when it isn’t bothering anyone (does that make sense) like if youre having a good time by yourself and someone tells you to shut up or be quiet because it’s annoying them. he said he would never ever tell me to be quiet. he’s only really loud when he’s excited or passionate about something. we talk more of our dating life, he has a bigger dating pool than me though. he asks me again for the fifth time later; how am i doing, are you bangin, are you sewing sweaters? he wants to know everything. this all has me confused and intrigued. is it weird that i feel like he is very interested in actually talking to me. he asks me if i would be willingly to break quarantine to hang out. i tell him quarantine is okay eh.. im holding up okay, i do need to worry about my big head that only has two brain cells left. i also tell him im the biggest broke bitch he’ll ever meet. he says i wont ask you to pay for anything so dont worry your big head. he understands i dont want to go out. he says we can just talk and hangout over facetime. he proceeds to ask if he can ft me right now. its 2am and i look like a fucking mess. i say im a catfish he says fuck it, im half awake and im not looking for looks. next thing i know he’s calling. we talk for three hours. 

what happens in those next three hours is weird. i dont even know what happened. well immediately i ask him about his tattoos so he gives me the whole run down of his tattoos on his arms. there super cool i like them. my favorite word is yuck and apparently that’s his too because he has that tattooed on his wrist. the meaning is sad kind of he said thats how he felt about himself when he was younger so that drove him to doing that tattoo to himself. he has another arm tattoo where he throws a small detail of him having it to remind him of his friend, his old life of being on the streets and being addicted to drugs. this threw me off because he brushed over it like it was nothing. i didn’t know what else to say. i said uh okay. i wanted to scream are you okay? are you sober now? how are you? but nothing came out. he talks of his other tattoos. conversation changes to him complimenting me again. he wants to see my while face instead just my eyes and nose. i tell him about piercings. he talks about his band. he talks about the punk community. he’s rambling but it doesn’t bother me because i like how soft and soothing his voice is. he continues telling me how pretty i am, like he doesn’t stop for like two minutes. at this point i tell him im not going to respond to you anymore, im not going to take it. he tells me to take it. i take it. i dont believe him though. he can’t see my body, he can barely see my face. i have ance and my face is fat. i know i look disgusting. as he continues to say nice things about me i feel like he’s lying because no one does that. i feel like he’s saying to just make fun of me. im hating all of this. i try not to blush. im smiling. i always change the subject when he makes me feel weird and uncomfortable by saying okay or alrighty anyway. he asks me where are you from, whats make me, me? i try to think of things to say. i tell him about my being in california with no family. i tell him that the one thing that matters the most to me if my relationship with my little sister and all my friends. he agrees because same. he goes on to relate and tells me he’s all alone too. he tells me his dad is gone, his mom is too. he’s an alcoholic. he’s sober now he’s been sober for a year now. he’s okay. i tell him im sorry. im proud of you and how far you have come. im always here if you want to talk. he says no no no no dont say any of that stuff. i tell him again and that i mean it. i really do mean it too. (IF NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE AND YOURE STILLING READING THANK YOU AND ILY, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH OBSESSIVE OR ADDICTIONS please be there for them, it gets super hard to be there but try and help them push through another day) we go on to more random talking. before i finally get sleepy and he says he’s gonna let me go and sleep. he asks if we can see each other. he tells me when he first saw me he wanted to fuck me but he knew that wouldn’t make him feel any better. he’d still be alone. he then decided to message me because he actually felt like putting in the effort to get to know me. not just for sake of fucking me but to know me like he seems to do a little now. he doesn’t much know about me though. he asks if we can talk tomorrow. he says i hope we can actually meet up and im totally cool with just hanging out with you and just vibing. we dont have to do anything. i just want to chill with you. i tell him thanks for telling me all of this. i appreciate it because many guys dont say any of this. i say yes we can talk tomorrow, i’ll text you. we can be friends and once this all settles down maybe we can meet in person. he then tells me, im only going to say this once and im never going to remind you again. im cool with friends with you but that’s not my intention. i want to be more than friends, i want to your person, your boyfriend. but until youre ready after a while of us talking and when it crosses your mind where you like me and think of me differently then we can move on to being more. i was just sitting starring at my phone in shock. i didnt know what to do or say. i was confused. in my mind i wss like okay yes we have a 2 hour text convo and a 3 hour phone call but what. you cant say of this after that can you. i agreed because it was the only that could come out of my mouth at the time. he says okay, my name, i’ll you go and sleep. goodnight. i tell him goodnight. we hang up the phone. now i turn my body around to my back on the bed starring at the ceiling saying what the hell just happened. i fall asleep. 

IM sORRY for my ramble. i was in shock and im confused and scared like what if turns out to be bad for me. but all the compliments, the soothing voice, the small hints well actually big hints of his battle with addiction. ps he also tells me about his anger issues and therapy. i feel weird. i slowly started to be seduced by him, like he started to seduce me. iykyk lmao. 

[howtodisassembleyourdeviant]

My mother dropped off her two cats at my place today because my idiot step-brother got drunk and pissed off the balcony on the Fourth of July and angered the neighbors below them, so they alerted the landlord that they had more than two animals (they also have two dogs). She’s keeping them here until she can get one of the cats (Spice) and one of the dogs registered as support animals (one helps her with her RA and the other is an ESA).

I feel like I am being held hostage. First off, Spice is her baby. He’s the one that was sickly for nearly the entire first year of his life, the one that she took to a vet several times before finally finding one that found out he had polyps in his throat, and the only reason he survived is because my mother would feed him wet cat food in increments about five or six times a day (bare in mind she wouldn’t even do that for her own kids. When I was sick, I was given pills and a pack of crackers and told to sleep it off. When I was super sick, she told me I was over-exaggerating and the only reason I went to the doctor is because she already had an appointment and he was concerned about the lack of any sound in my abdomen and gave me a shot in the ass). This cat is her BABY and if something happens to him, she will kill me. That is not an exaggeration. 

He is also known as the ‘devil-child’ and has never been away from my mother for more than a couple days and that was when he had surgery to remove the polyps. I came home and went looking for him to make sure he was alright and the first thing he did was hiss at me. Three times. I helped raise this mother fucker, and his birthmother, but he knows I ain’t his mama. I’ve never had a cat that we raised do that to me! 

After that, he looked around, trying to find his mama, which broke my heart, Hissed at all the other cats. My mother’s other cat is Didymus which was mine originally but I let her take him so Spice would have a buddy to play with, so he’s settled in quite quickly. I just hope that she gets the certificate quickly. 

[dragaica]

Trying to fall asleep while listening to tma was not my brightest decision

[armandmaxxing]

So my block club is reading "we need to talk about Kevin" and I'm seriously thinking about skipping this month because there is some stuff on that book that it is... Very... How do you say it? It is very accurate about my condition and I don't like it... Ugly ass funhouse mirror if a book.

[kyber-crystal]

➳ catch me || s.r

summary: in which you struggle to tell the difference between liking him as a friend or something more. until one fateful moment forces you to decide where you ultimately stand.

words: ~3.9k

warnings: mentions of death, blood, overused friends to lovers, slight enemies to lovers LOL

a/n: i suffered through this WIP for like, 3 mf MONTHS before i was finally able to finish it off. i feel so relieved. but i will warn you, it’s terrible

"Rogers."

"Y/N."

You exchanged curt nods with him as you went to grab yourself some water after attending a meeting with Fury. Ever since Sharon started showing up more often, you began to distance yourself from him because you know that lingering by will only make you feel worse.He doesn't know why you're acting so cold all of a sudden, but decides not to question it as it won't help the situation in any way whatsoever.

He was quick to break the awkward silence that had fallen. "Where are you being sent off?"

"We," you replied coldly. "Northern Europe. Got word of an arms trade happening tomorrow morning."

"Okay."

Footsteps were suddenly heard from down the hall and without warning, he tugged you forward by the wrist and pressed his lips to yours.

You didn't protest because you're still too shocked to fully register what's going on and 2) you actually liked the way he made you feel. 

Though you really weren't supposed to be.

"What was that for?" you breathed out as you both pulled away, breathless.

"Sharon," he replied simply, looking around for a moment. "She's been bothering me for the past few weeks and I had to do something."

"You just noticed?" you said, sarcasm lacing your tone as you looked out of the corner of your eye to see the blonde woman walking away. "She's been all over you since her recruitment."

His brows furrow together in confusion as he notices the darkened look in your eyes, but doesn't say anything. You toss him the black manila folder containing information on your mission for him to read, sitting down at the kitchen counter together.

"Infamous dealer carrying nuclear weapons overseas. Headquartered somewhere in the Arctic Circle, I think," you explained as he pulled out the wanted man's file. "Can be taken either dead or alive. We have to stop them from going through with the attack."

"When are we leaving?"

"Wheels up at 8:30 p.m. Should take about 6 hours...we're being flown in via helicarrier."

Great.

You just realized you'd be stuck in a plane alone together for 6 hours straight, when the very thing you were trying to do was avoid him.

You're mostly silent as you board the jet, securing your bags and weapons before taking your seat. Fatigue is tugging at your body and your eyelids grow heavy, although it isn't even that late. Without thinking about what you were doing, you rest your head against Steve's shoulder and close your eyes. He wraps an arm around your waist in response.

Before you knew it, the aircraft was hovering over the drop zone. The two of you got up and went towards the back, fastening parachutes to your backs as the gates dropped open.

"Stay safe out there," you blurted out as you glanced down at the base below you, then over at Steve. "Circle the perimeter and meet me inside. Don't die or I'll kill you."

"Yes ma'am."

Inhaling sharply, you gripped the straps of your jacket and squeezed your eyes shut, the dry wind whipping your hair in your face as you descended downwards.

With his icy blue eyes still imprinted in the back of your mind.

...

It was quite ironic seeing that you, an Avenger and a former SHIELD pilot that flew everywhere all the time, had a crippling fear of heights. The mere idea of being jumping out of planes and having to go on missions involving multi-story buildings shook you to your core, and it always took you at least a week to recover once you got back.

"Steve!" Your voice heightened to a shriek as you felt the plane's velocity increase suddenly. The crates next to you toppled over and you went crashing to the floor alongside them, barely managing to grip the armrest of something and pressing your back against the wall, feeling your head spin. The sticky warmth and stinging, white-hot pain in your side tells you that you were shot. You didn't need to look at the wound to know it wasn't pretty. "Where the hell are you?"

"Fifty yards away from the northeast entrance," he replied breathlessly. "I got nothing. You?"

"The weapons," you panted, "are on the plane!"

"Okay. Where are you?"

"On the damn plane! They're gonna detonate at any moment, I have to get this thing away from the city—I'm not gonna make it so I just wanted to tell you that—"

"Fuck, don't say that," he hissed. You know things were bad when Steve Rogers, the man that coined the 'Language' line, swore. "Just—hang tight, I'm coming for you."

"No. Just forget it," you shouted over the noise, grunting in pain as your head hit the side of a storage box, muttering a string of curses under your breath. "I can't afford for you to risk your own life for me. It's okay. Just leave me behind."

"No, I'm not leaving you!" he yelled back. "I'm not going back home without you."

"Steve," your voice was thick with tears, throat feeling tight as you swallowed back the sob that was threatening to erupt from your lips. You wipe a tear that slips down your cheek and cleared your throat. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," he says hoarsely, "I lost you once, and I'm not losing you again."

"There's no point, Steve. I'm going to die. This thing's on autopilot going God knows where at top speed and if there's any chance of stopping this thing, I gotta crash it. If you come and get me you're gonna die, too. You know Fury's not gonna like having to send out an extraction team to drag both our corpses back to headquarters."

"Y/N, don't-" His voice breaks and you swear your heart shatters into a million pieces. "Please, don't- don't say that. I'm gonna come and get you. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay."

That was the last straw for you; and you lost it at those last words. Tears sting a steaming hot trail down your cheeks as you hastily try to wipe them away with your bruised and bloodied knuckles. "No, we're not. I don't think you understand. I'm over 30,000 feet in the air with no protection whatsoever. They're gonna shoot you down before you even have the chance to get to me."

You always told yourself you'd be willing to put your life on the line to save someone else's; to sacrifice yourself for the greater good. But now that death was looming threateningly close to you and staring you down, for the first time in a long time, you didn't know if you even wanted to leave and you were scared. Scared of what was to come if you really were to meet your end. Scared of what was to come at the end of the tunnel, what would happen when you were swallowed whole by death's bottomless, dark pit. You didn't expect your fate to approach so quickly, and it scared you more than you wanted to admit.

Being a superhero meant that making sacrifices were a must-do. You always knew you would need to give things up in order to successfully do your job. That one day, your time to die would come but you didn't know it would happen like this; so unexpectedly.

Now you realize people were right as they told you in your final moments, you'd see your entire life flash before your eyes. You blink and you're transported back to when you first joined the Initiative, skeptical of the six unfamiliar faces before you. But it only takes a matter of three minutes before Thor cracks a joke that has you all howling in laughter, and another one for Natasha to approach you and start a conversation. To you, her, and Steve on the run as fugitives of SHIELD as you conducted the search for The Winter Soldier. The heartbreaking decision of having to choose between your mentor and best friend in Berlin--which you realized, happened barely over a year ago. So many memories had been created in such a short amount of time and you didn't ever want to let any of them go. You couldn't bring yourself to.

You stumbled over, sliding into the pilot's seat and buckling up. Your grip around the controls were so tight that the barely healing cuts around your knuckles reopened and began bleeding again.

You let out a shuddering sigh, tapping several buttons overhead before reaching down to turn on your comm again. "Steve? Are you there?"

"Darling..." The pure agony in his voice only makes you feel worse. You've never heard the great Captain America in such a soft-spoken tone before, so you could only assume it took him a lot to get him into this state. "Yeah. I'm here."

"So..." you readjusted your grip and let your shoulders fall back, "...you remember that one time we took the subway to see Hamilton last weekend?'

"Last weekend? It was only last weekend?" Steve tried his best to keep it together, but his wavering tone gave it all away. "Feels like forever since we got a break."

"I know," you let out a broken laugh, "and then you wouldn't stop talking about it the entire way back? It got so bad to the point Tony had to forcefully shut off all the speaker systems around the compound because he woke up at 3 am to see you sitting in the kitchen, playing the soundtrack at full volume."

"But when he saw you dancing around in the kitchen while making lunch the next day, he couldn't keep doing that for any longer. You have an amazing voice."

"I don't know..." you sniffed, forcing a smile, "you're the one who's pretty good at singing and playing the piano. I think you got all the musical talent-"

"Y/N," he interrupted, "stop. Don't do this to me."

"Do what?"

"You're talking as if you're gonna die."

The gravity of the whole situation comes crashing down on you again. "...Because I am."

"No, you're not. I'm not letting that happen."

"I don't think you have a say in things this time, Rogers," your voice cracked. You shook your head. "I'm done for. God, I really hoped this wasn't how I'd meet my end. I hate heights. I hate the ice, I'm scared shitless of dying, I can't- I can't do this. But I have to. If I don't, millions of people will die and I can't have that on my conscience."

You sucked in a breath as you looked out of the corner of your eye to see you're falling, and falling fast. In a matter of minutes you'll be plunging through the surface of the ice and into the depths of the icy-cold water. There's no turning back now.

"Geez," you spoke up again, "this is like some repeat of '45. Is this how it felt? Knowing you were gonna die, but doing it anyway because you knew you had to do it?"

"That's not the same. It was a matter of chance that I made it at all. Chances are slim to none that you'll end up frozen in a block of ice for 66 years."

"See, it's hopeless," you sighed. "Go back. You need to go...or you're gonna end up filled with bullets."

"I'm not going back," he repeated. "Not without you."

"If you're gonna think of a plan, you better think fast-"

"Jump."

"What did you just say? Are you out of your damn mind?"

"I said, jump. There's no other choice. Look for an emergency exit...there should be one above you. Do you see it?" His voice was calm, gentle, as if he was speaking to a child, and it soothed you a bit. You muttered a quick 'yes'. "Alright. Pry that open, get out of there. I'm coming with the Quinjet right now, so hang tight."

As if he could sense your fear, he softened his tone a bit more, "Hey. It's okay. I'm coming for you. You'll be alright."

"It's like we're Romeo and Juliet," you managed to choke out in between a laugh and sob,  "except only one of us dies."

"Y/N, you're not dying." He couldn't mask the obvious pain in his voice. "Honey, I promise you're not gonna die. You're gonna be alright."

"Steve-" You let out an earsplitting shriek and scrambled to get a stronger grip as blaring alarms sounded throughout the aircraft. The impact of the hits nearly made you topple off and you clung to the side of the jet for dear life, praying to God you weren't going to fall off and crack your head open on an iceberg. "I got hit. They're tailing after me, you can't, I'm actually gonna fall-"

"Okay, okay, I'm here. Do you see me?" You turned your head to the side ever so slightly to see the Quinjet hovering below, but your heart dropped when all you could see were snow flurries blowing around - and zero sign of the super-soldier.

"No-"

"Just jump. I see you. I'm literally right below you, so jump, okay?"

"Are you crazy?"

"Do you trust me?" he yelled out, his voice carrying over on the frigid winds. "Y/N. Do you trust me?"

"But-"

"I've never let you down before and I sure as hell won't now. Trust me, Y/N, come on."

You pressed your lips together. You knew he was right. Either you made the jump now, or get filled with a dozen bullets and dying a brutal and gory death.

You finally bring yourself to look down again and there he is, a little closer this time. His gaze finds yours and suddenly, you're drowning. You might've been hundreds of feet apart but no distance would be able to extinguish his piercing gaze. His eyes were the ocean and you were lost at sea, lost in those endless pools of blue and losing yourself in him—the one guy who stuck by your side for so long and thought as nothing more than a best friend, a teammate until now. The one guy who took your breath away with his million-dollar smile every time you made eye contact.

In the one guy who you thought was just a friend, until you realized you were hopelessly in love with him - the Steve Rogers.

And now you weren't sure if you'd come out of this alive to finally tell him so.

You squeezed your eyes shut and let go. The wind whipping at your hair and face feels like a thousand tiny needles being jabbed into your skin and you swear if you kept your mouth open you would've puked - if you'd opened your eyes you knew you'd die from fear first before anything else.

But all those thoughts are suddenly put to a halt when you're stopped by a pair of strong, warm arms you'd sought solace in countless times before.

"Y/N, thank God you're alright, oh my god," Steve let out a shuddering sigh as he held you close, cradling your head against his chest. "I thought I lost you. Oh my god. Are you okay?"

"I just fell out of an airplane without a parachute and I have no idea how I survived."

His look of concern immediately turns into horror when he pulls his hand off your waist to see it come back covered in your crimson blood. His face falls. Then it hits you all at once, and you're overcome with a nauseating wave of dizziness - the aftereffects were beginning to get to your head.

The super-soldier hurriedly jammed a finger to his ear. "I got her. We're on our way back. Prepare the medbay; she's gonna have to be operated on as soon as we land."

"Yes, sir," a STRIKE agent replied from the receiving end. "We'll get right to it. Please have a safe flight home."

"Thank you."

Steve put the jet on autopilot so he could sit with you in the back, frantically applying pressure to your wound and doing his best to patch you up. But with each round the bandages made around your waist, the blood flow increased, seeping through the fabric. You didn't have to tell him directly for him to know you didn't have much time left and if he were to save you, you would need to get back home, fast.

...

As soon as Steve stepped down the ramp with your limp, unconscious body in his arms, he was bombarded by a flurry of medbay agents, who had you in a gurney and were wheeling you away within minutes. He tried to follow after them but Tony quickly grabbed his wrist and yanked him back.

"Let me go," he growled. "I swear to Odin, Stark, if you don't-"

"You can't follow her in there."

"I can if I want to."

Tony let out a sigh of defeat. "Rogers. She's going to be fine."

"How do you know? How can you possibly guarantee her survival?"

"I just know. Sheesh, you're a hopeless romantic."

...

You glanced over at the monitor tracking your vitals beside your bed, the constant beeping of the machines seemingly echoing in your brain on a loop. You were too exhausted to do anything at the moment, but you couldn't seem to fall back asleep, even with the drugs coursing through your system.

You try to shift around and find a more comfortable position, and felt a twinge of pain on your right side. Note to self; don't place all your body weight on the side where a bullet tore through your stomach. Bad idea.

Laying flat on your back again, you closed your eyes, willing yourself to fall back asleep. But sleep never comes, and a few minutes later a knock on your door pulls you out of your momentary trance.

"Hey there, soldier," you managed a sleepy grin as Steve stepped into the room, pulling up a chair to your bedside. "Nice weather outside, isn't it? Feels like just yesterday I was gunned down and forced to drive myself to near-suicide...wait, that was yesterday, right? I've lost all sense of time-telling-"

You paused and looked back over to see a rare sight - he was on the verge of breaking down. His bright blue eyes were dulled and glossed over with fresh tears that threatened to spill, and although it had barely been over a day since your admittance to the hospital, it looked like he hadn't slept in over a week. And it was all your fault.

"Are you okay...?"

He shook his head, clenching his fists in his lap so tightly that they began turning white. "You’re seriously asking me if I’m okay? I almost lost you. You almost died."

"I'm sorry-"

"If I hadn't gotten to you in time, then...I don't know what I'd do if-"

"Steve, it's not your fault."

"I let you down, Y/N." His voice was cracked and raw, as if he'd been crying for hours on end beforehand. Your heart shattered at the sound. "I let you down and I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you sooner. I'm sorry I left you alone on that ship because I didn't look out for you well enough. This is all on me. My job was to protect you, to look out for you. And I failed to do that."

"You didn't fail, Steve," you said softly. "You did your best. You saved me. I'm alive right now because of what you did."

The super-soldier inhaled sharply and moved his chair closer so he could reach his hand out to place it on your forehead, letting it stay there for a moment before sliding it down to cup your cheek. You didn't make any efforts to remove it and if you were being honest with yourself, you liked how his warm skin felt against your own. He smelled like honey and freshly ground coffee and everything good in the world. He made you feel like you were at home.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you let yourself bask in his warmth, melting into his soft touch. If it weren't for your currently uncomfortable predicament, you would've fallen asleep on the spot all over again.

"Something's on your mind, isn't there," you mumbled, eyes still closed. Even without your powers, it didn't take much for you to figure out that something was wrong. "Tell me what's going on."

You opened your eyes again to see that there were tears streaming down his face. He hastily tried to wipe them away with one hand as the other was gently placed on top of yours, but his efforts were fruitless, of no avail whatsoever.

"Steve-"

"I was so worried," he croaked out. "I don't want to think about how things would be if you died. I can't live without you."

"I'm here now, okay? I'm going to be fine. I'll heal," you said softly. "You saved me, you caught me, so now I'm okay. We're okay." You moved over slightly to give him room to sit. Steve's arms encircled your waist as yours slid down and over his shoulders, and he pressed his trembling lips to your temple.

It was quiet. Whispered oh-so-quietly, as if he was hesitant to open his mouth. But you heard it regardless.

"I love you."

You smiled sadly. "I know. I love you too."

"Just...please don't try and pull off something off like that again."

"I won't. I promise."

You heard each shaky inhale and exhale as he tried to regain his composure - strong arms tightening around your figure with his face buried into the crook of your neck. Letting out a trembling sigh, you held onto him even tighter as if by some miraculous way, doing so could keep him from falling apart. As if somehow, your arms being around him could squeeze all the million little shattered pieces of his heart back together again.

You knew deep down, exactly why he had been so afraid to watch you meet your potential end. It was the jet plunging into the depths of the icy blue, monstrous sea. He didn't want you to experience even a fraction of what he had and prayed you’d never have to. He swore a silent oath to himself to shield you away from as much of the horrifying world as he possibly could, but you were nearly dragged under by the clutches of Death herself that day, and he couldn't help but feel like he failed you.

You took in a deep breath, inhaling his fresh scent of coffee grounds and warm honey as he buried his face into the crook of your neck. For the briefest moment in time you could pretend everything was in fact, going to be okay, because it was just you and him wrapped up in each others' arms without a care in the world. It was just you and him, basking in each others' warmth, silent whispers of reassurance into his ear and repeated soft, fleeting kisses to his temple that reminded him you were still alive and breathing, and you were just fine.

For the first time in a long time, Steve Rogers felt whole again. The hole in his heart was gone, the void finally filled. And all it took was your presence, and your presence alone.

...

(if your username is striked out, that means i couldn’t add you)

general tags and mutuals who may be intersted (if your username is here, pls go check the taglist link in my bio to specify which specific taglist you’d like to be added to!): @sylvie-writes @zaddychris @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @sis-it-dont-add-up @tonystankschild @buckybarnesthehotshot @musicalkeys @carryonmywaywardbucky @thinkingofbuckybarnes @rynhaswritersblock @wheresmyjae @captainchrisstan @sandystoriess @patzammit @cicicantblog​

permanent tags: @sandwitch-god @renaissancecherub @poesflygirl

steve/chris tags: @speechlessxx @angrybirdcr @marvelfanatic16 @stainedsouvenir @smokeandnailz

[vadergf]

I want Dream to play fnaf and get scared shitles so that I could comfort him and tuck him into bed and hug him and

I don't like horror at all so we will both get scared and cuddle each other for comfort <3

[ary-se]

Mankai with a cat

a few months ago, our cat scratched me right on my cheek and my first thought out of all things was "what if mankai had a cat" pls get me out of this brainrot 😣

on a side note, this got way TOO LONG so i'm putting it under the cut!! this also works as an apology since i was gone for too long without notice 🙇‍♀️ as always, thank you for reading!

🐾 having a pet for the dorm was a subject mankai always brought up. it definitely sounds like a good idea for a domestic setting, but actually getting a pet is out of the question. sakyo didn't allow it due to obvious reasons, and of course it involved the company's budget.

🐾 there was one time however when muku and yuki went back to the dorms with a white stray cat that had a sprain. that time, sakyo would've given them a lecture like usual, but he gave in anyways and told them that they can foster the cat and they'll let it go after its leg gets better.

🐾 unfortunately for sakyo, everyone got way too attached to the cat before its sprain healed, and sakyo also adored the cat but of course he wouldn't openly admit that. after a week, when the cat got better, it only took a few buttons to push before sakyo agreed to finally keeping the cat, under the condition that they are not getting another pet again.

🐾 no one knew who started calling the cat koko, though it just seemed so natural that everybody else started to follow suit, which was pretty convenient because they didn't have to fight over the cat's name when mankai will finally keep her as a pet. (fun fact coco is the name of our cat)

🐾 that week, tenma deadass acted like an expecting father having his very first child, it was really unnerving to see. taichi and juza would often join tenma in shopping for random cat toys after school, which usually lasts longer than girls shopping for a singular pair of heels and that already says a lot

🐾 the conversation usually goes like this

tenma: "what's the best color for this toy mouse?"

taichi: "i like the red one!"

juza: "that's fine too."

tenma, after 10 minutes: "i see, i'll just buy all 7 colors"

🐾 tenma spoiled koko a LOT. teasers? balls? lasers? plushies? you name it, and tenma literally had them in ALL available colors. he did not really care if some of the toys remained untouched, as long as koko had something to be busy with. tenma had a huge ass box of cat toys that he could open up his own damn store and he'd get a lot of profit

🐾 tasuku literally had no idea why, but koko never scratched anywhere but his legs. is there some sort of magic on his legs?? if there was, it wasn't something tasuku is aware of, and he isn't sure if he wants to know what it is either.

🐾 it actually didn't hurt or anything, it just annoyed him when he needs to go somewhere else and the cat would just pounce to his direction to scratch his legs. tasuku feels bad on walking away, so all he does is stand up and wait until koko is done scratching his leg so he can finally move on.

🐾 when a scratching post was delivered to the dorm, koko has been all over it ever since. when tasuku noticed that koko never scratched on his legs anymore, it then just occurred to him that koko used his legs as a temporary scratching post. if he was being conpletely honest, he doesn't know how to feel about this.

🐾 know the meme of people making their babies choose their pokemon starter? that's what itaru did to koko, except he used the figurines of his waifus instead of pokemon plushies. he'd carry koko to the table, and the figurine koko will knock over would determine who her best girl supposedly is.

🐾 what he didn't know was that koko wouldn't knock one figurine over, but ALL FIVE OF THEM, and they all went rolling from the table and fell down to the floor. he swore that one of the figurines easily gets broken since its glasses came off at some point, and until that moment his trust towards animals has never been tested so bad. gladly, none of the figurines broke so koko is not yet in itaru's hit list.

🐾 even with all the toys tenma showered her with, koko finds itaru's hair on a ponytail very entertaining. itaru doesn't really mind koko messing with his hair as long as his gaming stays uninterrupted, though he gets annoyed when koko pulls a part of his hair too hard. he also somehow gets pissed whenever his hairtie falls off during a crucial moment, but he doesn't have the heart to get mad at koko so he lets her off the hook for so many times.

🐾 if omi is already such a mom to mankai, he is even more of a mom to koko. there is a sack of cat kibbles stored away for weeks, but it still remains untouched up to this day because omi always whip up homemade meals for her.

🐾 there was a time when omi cooked up turkey, mashed potatoes and corn for koko's dinner, but he didn't prepare anything for the actual human beings in mankai. omi was just like, "oh haha, there is leftover curry in the fridge. we probably should finish that first"

🐾 in other words, koko isn't subjected to curry hell. never. cats actually aren't supposed to eat curry or else something would happen. even if cats were allowed to eat curry though, it is highly doubtful that omi will make koko eat curry on a daily basis. if omi is an actual mom, everyone would collectively agree that the favorite child is koko. no buts, no questions asked, that's it.

🐾 it was a given that cats don't like water, so everyone was really surprised when they learned that koko LOVES water. the first time they learned it was when sakuya went to wash the dishes like usual, only for koko to literally pounce by the sink. she waits for sakuya to turn on the faucet and everytime sakuya does, she just sticks her paw out to the water until he turns it off. it was an adorable sight.

🐾 it definitely made sakuya slower on washing the dishes, but he does not really mind one bit, he actually enjoys the company. he opted to use a bit more dishwashing soap after he noticed that koko also liked to play with the excessive foam and bubbles on the sink whenever he finishes doing the dishes.

🐾 everyone in mankai, especially sakuya, already made it a habit to call out to koko whenever they're about to do the dishes so koko wouldn't have to wait for the sound of the faucet before running to the sink. it already is a routine every after mealtime.

🐾 was it already mentioned that koko likes water? yes. whenever the boys get in the bath, koko also joins in the damn tub and REFUSES to leave. after some time, the boys already accepted it and just let the cat stay in the tub, losing their sense of privacy in the process. they also bought little rubber duckies and those bubble bath products so koko can play around with the excessive amount of bubbles and the rubber duckies in the tub.

🐾 there was one time when omi woke up super early to prepare breakfast, though he went to the bathroom first and nearly shit on his pants when he saw koko in the empty tub. no koko, he isn't going to fill the tub with water if you just stay there. get out of there and sleep in your own damn bed.

🐾 koko also follows anyone who is on their way to the bathroom, ALWAYS assuming that they'll fill up the tub every time they do get in the bathroom. sorry to break this to you koko, but taichi wouldn't get in the bathroom 8 times a day to take a bath every single time, he just really wants to pee... please give him a break

🐾 koko always joins tsumugi when he is in the garden, though it was only because she wants to drink on the water coming out of tsumugi's watering can. when there are water droplets on the leaves, she climbs up and licks them off. unfortunately, it is one of the reasons why tsumugi started to yell on a daily basis, "KOKO NO THAT PLANT IS POISONOUS DON'T LICK THAT—"

🐾 tsumugi wouldn't have to warn koko forever though, since she'd eventually memorize what plants are poisonous and what are not. sometimes, after tsumugi is done watering the plants, he'd fill the watering can with water again just so koko would get in the can and chill for who knows how long.

🐾 koko is attached to muku for obvious reasons (he picked her up when she was injured!!) so koko is often in their shared room with kazunari. sadly, there was a time when muku took a break from reading the shoujo manga to grab some water, and when he got back, koko was already tearing it into pieces.

🐾 muku did not get angry at koko, but the cat knew something was wrong when muku was trying to stop himself from crying that koko already knew not to tear any of muku's books in the future. koko still felt really bad about it even after muku bought a new copy of that specific volume.

🐾 whenever kazunari is rushing an art project that is to be passed the next day, muku holds koko close to him so koko wouldn't be able to somehow ruin the painting. there has already been an instance wherein koko stepped all over the painting when muku and kazunari wasn't in the room, and that better not happen ever again.

🐾 gladly, kazunari was calm about it and found a way to fix the blue pawprints all over the white paint, but only god knows what will happen once koko messes up the painting again when kazunari is getting SO close to breaking down because of the deadline.

🐾 there are times when kazunari prefers to eat bread with charcoal and drink his paint water than having koko step all over his artwork, and muku better make sure kazunari does none of that

🐾 banri is unfortunately one of those people who pretends to be a dick around their pets. more often than he would admit, he'd act like he is about to throw a punch to koko, only to actually give it gentle pats on the head. banri throwing the cat mid-air and catching her is already a common sight, too.

🐾 he finds it funny scaring koko in all sorts of ways, especially when it comes to heights. banri would carry koko up high, and pretend to drop her just to catch the cat again. sakyo has reprimanded him a lot of times regarding this situation, but he brushes it off.

🐾 there was one time however when banri just carries koko up high and stays that way. the cat was literally scared shitless of being high up on mid-air unmoving, she literally had no choice but to piss right on banri's face. ever since that time, banri toned down his tendencies of teasing the cat

🐾 koko ALWAYS sleeps with hisoka. it doesn't matter where, will it on top of the sink? on the tree? below the table of the living room? you name it, and you see koko and hisoka stuck to each other like glue. somehow it feels like koko became a replacement of penpen. the poor stuffed toy probably got messed up by the cat, waiting to finally get fixed in yuki's room

🐾 koko got hisoka's habit of sleeping literally everywhere that it became really concerning. there was a time when tsuzuru noticed that koko was nowhere to be found, and everyone went batshit looking at her all over the city. even sakyo got mad at everyone because they weren't keeping an eye out of the cat while everybody else is gone. after how many hours of searching, turns out the cat was just sleeping inside the fucking washing machine

🐾 funny enough, taichi and koko have the SAME eyes. like, actual striking blue. taichi usually carries her and parades around the dorm, announcing the news to everyone even though he has said it for like the 83rd time that day. nobody really minds though, the coincidence is still too unreal. the quote "like pet, like owner" doesn't really apply to koko and taichi though, because if anything, it feels more like comparing a cat to a puppy

🐾 taichi is also the one who plays with koko the most, which solely meant that he also used the cat toys tenma bought as much as the cat herself did. at this point, it wouldn't be wrong if they said that the toys were bought for BOTH koko and taichi because even taichi sometimes finds entertainment in using the teaser by himself whenever the cat is being held by somebody else.

🐾 as much as yuki refuses to admit it, he actually gets concerned when koko climbs up in all sorts of countertops, because that would mean koko would also NOT hesitate to climb up to his sewing machine. he is already meticulous when it comes to his materials for sewing, but even moreso now.

🐾 every after yuki finishes sewing, he tightly encloses the sewing machine with a case so that the cat wouldn't get to touch it and potentially get hurt. yuki also used to just leave his sewing materials on the desk, but nowadays he actually keeps them into somewhere secure so as to not harm anybody. he can't have koko's paws bleeding just because of some damn pin that rolled on the floor

🐾 yuki also somehow feels bad when he drives the cat away from him by force every time he is working on the costumes for the next play. he doesn't know what the cat is thinking, but he hopes that koko knows he is just trying not to actually make her bleed over some needles. as a repayment, yuki lets koko bother him all she wants whenever he does his homework with muku.

🐾 since masumi always used to be alone at home, he always thought of the possibility of adopting a pet cat that would keep him company. that constant thought he had already dissipated when he started living in the mankai dorm, so when they decided to take koko in, he remembered the specific reasons why he wanted to own a cat.

🐾 he never let anyone willingly in his personal bubble except for the cat, which he accepted pretty easily. masumi also found it kind of amusing to blast songs on shuffle from his phone because koko had her own way of showing if she likes the song or not. if she likes it, she doesn't do anything. if koko doesn't, she taps her paw on his phone a lot of times as if telling him to change the song. most of the time, masumi obliges.

🐾 every time tsuzuru opens the fridge really late at night, he has to double check if koko is inside the fridge or not before he closes it. there was one time when he didn't notice koko get in the fridge while getting energy drinks. the cat pretty much stayed in there for hours and hours until omi opened the fridge to make breakfast. tsuzuru was lectured by sakyo that morning because he would be ultimately responsible if the cat died in the fridge from freezing her ass off

🐾 whenever tsuzuru gets in a writing frenzy, koko keeps him company late at night. unfortunately for tsuzuru, if he stops typing for at least 10 seconds, koko takes that as a sign to pounce on his keyboard and just lay down there. tsuzuru already knew better than to carry her away from his keyboard since the cat will be insistent enough to return to his keyboard, so he usually gives up and goes to bed, saving the ideas in his head for the next time he wakes up.

🐾 because of that, every time tsuzuru finishes a script for the next play, his tendencies of passing out right after handing the script to somebody else significantly lessens. tsuzuru doesn't know if the cat is just trying to be annoying or if she just wants him to get some sleep, but either way he doesn't really mind because he gets to stop himself from overworking. well sorta

🐾 juza almost never approaches koko. like never. it feels like he is openly avoiding the cat for some apparent reason, and nobody knows why, but in reality he is just scared as shit of the damn cat. what if koko gets mad at him? what if she suddenly gets aggressive and scratches him? honey you're way bigger than her, and koko wouldn't hurt you... really it's okay

🐾 juza's way of offering affection to the cat is to give her some portions of his meal during dinner, sometimes breakfast. he tries to be sneaky about it, but he legitimately has no idea that everyone knows. it becomes more obvious when koko already made it a habit to sit on the chair behind juza every meal time to get more food. that still happens even after omi just filled up her fucking bowl. nobody comments about it though, they find it hilarious

🐾 koko always tries to test homare's patience, but for some reason homare literally doesn't give a single fuck. every time he is writing something down, high chances are koko would spread the ink all over his paper. sometimes she'd try to crawl her way in his coat sleeve, and homare, he just....... doesn't mind.

🐾 if homare is actually busy however, he'd take out his necktie from his vest if koko doesn't want to leave his lap. most of the time, she actually plays with it like it's a teaser. homare is fine if the necktie gets destroyed, he has a lot of neckties in his closet and some of them are specifically for the purpose of koko messing with them

🐾 not to mention that he also finds it really amusing that koko gets overly excited when it comes to lasers. homare is curious why this would be the case, so he usually uses the laser to play with koko when he has free time. he doesn't think of where he points the laser though, so his wooden desk ends up having a lot of scratches. again, he knows and he doesn't care in the slightest.

🐾 misumi adores koko so much. her ears are triangles, her paws are triangle, her nose is triangle. she is a fucking triangle. with the help of kazunari, he already has a whole album of koko's best pictures in polaroid films. most of them are in a photo book so that everyone has a physical copy to look at, while some of them are taped on misumi's wall. the ones on misumi's room are particularly the ones where her ears are especially prominent.

🐾 at least twice or thrice a week, misumi brings koko out of the dorm and brings her to other groups of stray cats that misumi deems trustworthy. nothing bad happens to koko gladly, because only god knows what would happen once misumi's instincts tell him something horrible is about to happen to their pet cat, and they're always spot on

🐾 citron has ZERO sense of personal space when it comes to koko. citron would literally touch koko anywhere, thinking she is fine with it. unfortunately, there are times when citron pets koko on parts she doesn't want to be touched, particularly the tail and the area around it. citron's hands always end up covered in scratches. over time, he memorized where he should and shouldn't touch like the back of his hand

🐾 citron made a koko jr. which was completely intended to be for display purposes. the cat saw it as a new mouse toy however, so it didn't take a whole day for koko jr. to look like a ball of messed up wool. it doesn't look like a damn cat anymore, though it passes as an extremely fluffy and distorted alpaca

🐾 sakyo never shows affection to the cat. no pets, no strokes, nothing. the most he does to koko is spare her a glance, and sometimes he even glares at her from a distance when sakyo gets too absorbed in his thoughts... despite that, everyone wonders why every time sakyo comes home, she gets more energetic greeting him compared to how she'd greet the rest of the boys when they come back to the dorm

🐾 azuma knows. he would sometimes stay up for late night talks with sakyo, and through their conversations that's when azuma learns how much sakyo cares. azuma often helps sakyo out on trimming koko's nails when they're getting kind of long, trying to be as careful as possible so as to not hurt her.

🐾 azuma is also amused at the fact that sakyo tries to ignore koko resting on his lap, or when he pretends not to notice the cat trying to slip in the pockets of his coat. knowing sakyo, he'll definitely complain about the white fur on his black coat later on. as funny as it is, azuma knows better than to say a word about it.

🐾 before kazunari realized it, his camera roll is pretty much filled with random pictures of koko. most of them are just derp pictures, though... kazunari captures her weird quirks, like how she likes to fall asleep with all fours spread out like a starfish, or how she constantly make noises on the door stopper if she wants to get in the room. the picture with koko's most horrified face on it was when banri threw her high up mid-air, and that is never going to get deleted.

🐾 they find everything the cat does very adorable, even though she is just drinking water from her bowl. or when her tongue gets stuck on the ice tray omi brought out from the fridge. or when she yawns and taichi sticks a finger in her mouth and she doesn't know what to do next. or when she squints her eyes at homare when he gets in a blabbering rampage. literally everything.

🐾 at some point, kazunari thought it'd be a good idea to have those cat tunnels mounted on walls so there will be more room for koko to play. he just said it out of nowhere, but everyone agreed on that idea. after a week or two, the whole dorm is basically a cat playground with a crapton of shelves, slides, and tunnels on the walls, save for the practice room, bathroom, and the bedrooms.

🐾 did sakyo said that they are never, ever getting another pet after koko? yeah right, there's no way that's actually happening. high chances are they got more cats so that the cat playground they all built together will get utilized. the more, the merrier!! even though sakyo complains a lot about the expenses, they all know he isn't against the idea, though they better not tease him for it or sakyo will definitely take it back

[witch-without-gender]

MY POWER JUST WENT OUT AND SCARED ME SHITLES

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Listening to Fear || Athena and Kaden

TIMING: Before the scream LOCATION: The woods PARTIES: @athenaquinn and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Two hunters enter the woods. One phobid has fun.

Knife in hand, Kaden wasn’t sure how long he stood there at the edge of the trail staring up at the trees, eyes trying to find the tops of the branches, see where one tree ended and the other began. It was impossible to tell. It was also impossible to sort through what he was feeling even though he was certainly trying to. First hunt after spilling the beans to Regan. Well, as best he could manage. Somehow he expected there to be a lot more weight off his shoulders on this next hunt, but he didn’t quite feel it. Something was still nagging at him. He let out a deep exhale through his nose. He supposed it hardly mattered. What mattered was-- People screaming? And running out of the forest. “Putain,” he muttered to himself as he took off running in the direction they came from. No time to worry about feelings and crap now. He had a job to get done and he tore through the trees to get to the scene. A flash of blonde hair caught his eye across the way. “Pipsqueak if that’s you, I swear to god,” he grumbled. The last thing he needed was Blanche out in the woods getting in his way on a hunt.

Even if she didn’t intend for them to, many of Athena’s explorations on the trails around town often ended in a hunt. Admittedly, she had come into the forest today with a partial purpose to hunt, even if she didn’t know exactly what she was looking for. Not that it mattered - this town had more than enough for her to deal with. She’d been working on her breathing recently - because reacting too strongly to fae was not about to do her any good in any sort of situation. She just had to concentrate - though she also knew that she had to welcome the feeling, to welcome how viciously uncomfortable it made her feel whenever any sort of fae was nearby. This time, however, she saw the response before she could feel the fae - a number of hunters screaming and running out of the forest. Shortly after, she could feel goosebumps rise on her arms and she took off. She only skidded to a halt when she heard someone else. “I don’t know who you’re talking to, but I don’t appreciate that nickname.” Turning a corner around a tree she spotted a man. What was he doing here? Why hadn’t he left with the rest of everyone else? He wasn't fae, not as far as she could sense. There was something vaguely familiar about him, but she couldn’t quite place it. “My name is Athena, and I appreciate being referred to as such.”

Oh. Not Blanche. It was someone else entirely. Kaden supposed that was good. “Sorry, thought you were someone else. Someone more obnoxious, about your height, maybe a little shorter, blonde hair though I guess it’s blue sometimes, and she just never stops talki--” A screaming hiker came barreling down the path right into Kaden. He cursed and grumbled as he moved out of the way, almost tossing the man to the side. The poor guy seemed so scared, it was a wonder he didn't piss in his pants. There was another scream or two not too far off. Putain, he had to figure out what the hell was going on here. There were too many monsters to name that could scare a group of unsuspecting hikers shitles. The problem was, it didn’t seem like anything big or barreling was nearby, he’d have heard it. No wolf, probably not a beast. But what the fuck was it. “You’d better clear out, ki-- Athena.” Something about her demeanor, even though she was young, told him that “kid” wasn’t going to go over well with her. “This is dangerous.”

“I -” Athena shook her head. “Well, no. I’ve never even dyed my hair. Not once. Once Lilia said we should, for bid day, but I -” her words and the man’s were both cut off by another scream. She pressed her tongue against her teeth, trying to deduce what was going on. What was causing all of this. She knew very well that some sort of fae was around, but there could have been something else here, too. Whatever was around needed to be dealt with, and this slick-haired guy was blocking her from doing that. She knew that she didn’t even always look twenty, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her. Let him stop her, either. “I’m not going anywhere.” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “You, however, should probably go somewhere. I’ve got something to deal with, then I’ll go back home. Don’t worry.” She could feel the knife in her boots and the two against her hips. Practically begging to be used. She pursed her lips when she noticed that he was still standing there. “I’ve really got this. I hike in these woods all the time.”

“Me? I should leave?” Kaden scoffed at her suggestion. “Right. Not going to happen. I’m trained for situations like this. I’ve got it covered. Go home.” He charged past her into the woods without a second glance at her. Hopefully she wasn’t stupid enough to follow. And if she was, he’d work around her but he had a feeling she’d be running scared like the hikers back there. Confidence and cockiness only got you so far up against a monster. In the clearing, he paused and listened, tried to use whatever senses he could to suss out the situation. He didn’t feel anything, even anything small or subtle. No beasts nearby. Had to be some other kind of monster, fae or undead most likely. And he didn’t see anything big or scary. So why were they running away like that? Kaden spun around at the sound of rustling behind him, pulling his knife out of his pocket on instinct. Putain, it was the girl “I thought I told you to leave, this is dange--” His words cut off as he heard something behind him, but as soon as he turned to look, it was gone. All he saw was the bounce of some branches and the rustle of the leaves. Fuck, what was it?

“Yes. You should.” Athena fought away the urge to cross her arms and give a less-than-polite retort back to the man. What was he doing here, anyhow? She knew that this town attracted thrill seekers, so maybe he was one of those? It was people like that who made her job more difficult. “I’m sure whatever American Ninja Warrior type of gym you belong to has made you believe that, but I’m actually trained for this.” Great, so now she was going to have to deal with some guy who was way too confident for his own good and a fae that she still couldn’t see. After another moment she felt her whole body tense up. She made a note to continue working on that during her trainings. Not that she wanted a repeat of the whole fae incident back in March, but every time she felt like doubling over when she was around fae made her wish that she had a better handle on that particular aspect of her training. Thankfully, it hadn’t done much of anything to diminish her hunting skills, she thought, a smirk crossing her face. Hardly paying attention to the knife that the man had. Just then, out of the corner of her eye she spotted something. Dark, winged, and with what appeared to be white eyes. Phobid. At least that explained why the hikers had been screaming. “You seriously want to get out of here.” The phobid’s wings fluttered as it rose up from the branch it was sitting on. “The sooner the better.” She pulled one of her knives out from its resting place against her hip. “I’ve got this handled.” She glanced over at his. “Go use that for something else. This isn’t some stupid deer. Also, if it were, I’d advise against that sort of knife. Just a helpful tip from a local!” She flashed him a grin, though it was more passive-aggressive than kind. With a small wave of her hand, she turned back to face the branch where the phobid sat, lips pursed.

“American what?” Kaden asked, face scrunched in confusion. She had to have heard his accent and had some idea he wasn’t American. Or a ninja. Warrior, well, that depended on who you asked. Still seemed a little over the top to him. Still, he found himself rolling his eyes once again at her assessment. “Girl scouts hardly qualifies as survival training but good luck.” He couldn’t stop her, not in any way that was appropriate or that he was comfortable with, so if she insisted on following, he’d work around her. And try to keep her from getting killed. Which is why in the clearing he ignored her, let her insist that he was wrong. It didn’t matter. What mattered was pinning down the location of the monster there sending people screaming. Kaden stood still, taking in the sounds, only to be interrupted by her chatter. “I know it’s not a fucking deer. And I know what my own knives are good for thank you very fucking much, Tinkerbell.” He’d missed the creature again, but he heard it flitter. He glanced at her and followed her eyeline up to the trees and saw the small black, winged figure sitting there.

By the time Kaden realized he’d made a mistake it was too late, his eyes had locked on the creature’s glowing ones and he felt the panic rising within him. A phobid. Rationally, he knew that, knew what it was, but the grass around him suddenly felt too tall, too green. His pulse was picking up, heart starting to pound against his chest, and he shut his eyes tight, trying to force the fear from flooding his senses. He heard the small creature cackling. “Ouh more big legs,” it said with a voice not so different from Rumpleskuffs’. “More fun!” it added. Run. He had to run. Get away from the grass and the plants and the green. That’s what he has to d— No. No. He could push past this. It wasn’t real. He pulled a deep breath into his lungs and held it there a moment, grip tightened around his knife. The only thing that should feel fear is the phobid flitting around. He opened his eyes a little as he could, only viewing the world through small slits. His shaking hand put his knife away and scrambled to get the crossbow off of his back. He caught sight of the wings through the trees. The wings. Made of veins connected with glassy membranes. So similar to Regan’s. No. Not now. This wasn’t the same. Not even a little. He took a deep breath, aimed, and started firing into the trees, aim shaky. The cackling continued to echo through the clearing. “Now might be a good time to get going,” he shouted to the girl.

“American Ninja Warrior.” Athena made a face. “Look, just because you’re not from around here doesn’t mean you have to totally lack awareness of pop culture. I think the show is ridiculous, but I still know what it is.” She tapped her foot against the ground, giving a small huff at his mention of Girl Scouts. “Oh, obviously not. However, I did most of my brother’s work for Boy Scouts, and I’ve got plenty of other experience.” She certainly wasn’t a fan of this over-greased man making snide remarks about her. Even though she did know that her looks certainly worked to her benefit when out hunting. She just usually didn’t have to deal with other people underestimating her, because most of them were willing to leave her be once she asked. “Oh, absolutely not.” She knew that her voice was perhaps a bit too high pitched, and that her brother might’ve winced had he been around. “Don’t you dare call me that.” She could feel her body tense up, far too many memories of teachers in early elementary school remarking on what a lovely Tinkerbell she’d make for Halloween. She’d resented it then, and she could at least acknowledge that they had meant well. This time, she wasn’t so sure. “Well I don’t need a knock-off James Dean telling me what to do, thank you very much.”

She could spot the second that the fear overtook him. Amateur, she thought to herself. This was why people should just let her handle what she was expert at. Athena averted her eyes from the creature, though that didn’t stop its awful voice from reverberating throughout the clearing. She could slit its throat simply due to the laughter. Adjusting her posture, she turned to face the other man who was now fumbling around. Fumbling to find a crossbow. Athena rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to do anything. You’ve seen the size of that…” thing. Monster. “You need to get up close and personal. Take your Robin Hood antics elsewhere.” She pulled one of her knives out from its resting place against her hips. “Girl Scouts didn’t teach me this.” She flipped it deftly between her fingers. “Also, word of advice, don’t look into its eyes again.” She ran her finger against the cool iron of the face of the knife. “I’m not going anywhere. One of us is having a bit of a time of it and it’s not me.” In any other situation, she might’ve smirked, but this guy, whoever he was, was going to get himself killed. “Would it help if I told you in French? Would that get you to leave?” She grabbed another one of her knives (from her boot this time) and threw it against the tree where the phobid sat, watching the two of them. “See? I’ve got it.” Another giggle echoed through the clearing. “Oooh, keep-a fightin’!” The phobid cackled. “Soon you’ll be all alone. Alone in the woods, what fun!”

Kaden huffed out a laugh. Something about what he said got under her skin apparently. Guess she wasn’t a fan of small obnoxious blondes, huh? Or people with wings. Oh. Oh. Well that made a whole lot more sense now. Putain. He was stuck with a warden. This was fine. He would be fine. He was a hutner. Regan wasn’t here. Obviously. He didn’t need to be worried about being around a small, probably teenaged warden. That’s what he told himself at least. “James Dean, huh? I’ll take it. I could do worse.”

Too bad his shots weren’t landing the way his insults had. Kaden grumbled about it to himself while she tried to offer tips and tricks. “I don’t need you’re fucking advice pint size pixie,” he spat back, trying to line up another shot while his hands were shaking from stupid fear. And she had to mention the eyes. He was pretty fucking aware considering he felt like everything around him was terrifying. “I know,” he said through grit teeth, trying to keep his pulse from rising. Each blade of grass looked like knives, rising up to cut him, tear him down and prick him, make him bleed. Shit, no, no, it was just grass. He had to remember that it was just a trick, not real.

The show with the knife brought him back to reality and he rolled his eyes. Why the fuck did people like to use a party trick while in the middle of a hunt? “Quit showing off. You didn’t even hit the damn th--” Kaden cut off his words with a shout as he saw something crawling up along her back. A giant spider leg creeping behind her back. Or was it a wing? He threw himself at her, pinning her down, trying to brush the “wings” off her back while the tiny fae giggled and laughed up in the trees. “Big legs, big legs, fight fight fight!”

“You could do a heck of a lot better too, though, just saying.” She had to laugh - she knew that she ought not to, but this man was being so incredibly haphazard about everything and he was going to get both of them killed if Athena didn’t do something, and quick. “Don’t call me that.” She hissed. He was shaking, and he had looked into its eyes, and she really didn’t have the time nor the patience to be dealing with this right now. Though if she thought about it like a lesson - like one of the many lessons her parents put her through - then she could manage it. If she refocused herself and centered herself - because right now the real problem was the phobid. It would be more than enough to blind it, but she found that right now she was more keen to be done with it altogether - lest she risk it accidentally causing greater harm.

“You know and yet you still did it. Maybe you should do a review lesson. No harm in that,” he had to be a hunter, either that, or an especially cocky normal human, “we can’t all know everything.” Athena shrugged at his comment, though before she could completely respond, he’d knocked her to the ground and she struggled briefly under his weight, “get off me!” She screeched, kneeing him in the stomach, hoping it would knock the wind out of him at least so that she could do something. “I was making a point. If I want to hit something, I always make my mark.” A small giggle escaped her lips. However, the fae’s voice cut through the air and she rolled her eyes. “You’re gonna regret saying that.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Kaden snapped back at her. This. This was why he worked alone usually. That and when he did, there was no one around to see him make his mistakes. Like falling for a goddamn phobid’s illusions. But even if he knew the possibilities, the risks of the fae they were fighting, once they were in front of him, it was hard to remember that the illusions weren’t real. His pulse peaked as he tried desperately to get the wings off of her. The spider legged wings that were-- Not… there? His hands were going through them and before he could put the pieces together, he felt a sharp jab to his stomach and the breath leave his body. “Putain,” he wheezed out as he doubled over. The sound of cackling filled the clearing as the small, obnoxious creature flitted around. At least someone was having a good time. Kaden braced himself on his hands and knees, trying to breathe properly again. But it felt like the grass was getting bigger, like the blades might slice him raw. Not real, not real, he had to tell himself it wasn’t real as he shut his eyes tight, focusing on getting his shallow breathing a little deeper. It was hard when panic was creeping in. He kept his eyes closed, felt the ground beneath his fingers. “Catch it,” he choked out. “Have to-- Do you have,” deep gasp, “a net or..?” The giggling and glee persisted in the trees. “Can’t catch, can’t catch, nah nah nah nah nah!” Fae or not, Kaden was really looking forward to whacking this little shit over the head. Once he felt like he could breathe again, Kaden sat up and shrugged off his jacket. Not exactly a great net but it would have to do in a pinch.

“Review lessons are still of benefit.” Athena shrugged. “At least, that’s what I was always taught.” He was still trying to get some sort of imaginary something or other off of her but she was glad to see that the knee to his stomach had done its job. She quickly jumped up and dusted off her thighs, before narrowing her eyes at him. Clearly, she should have been doing this all on her own because even though she was inclined to believe that he was a hunter, he certainly wasn’t acting very much like one. Perhaps that wasn’t entirely fair, if he wasn’t a warden he couldn’t be expected to know just as much about fae as she did, but it didn’t make her any less annoyed. She’d just have to channel whatever annoyance she was feeling toward defeating the fae. “No, I don’t have a net.” She said, biting down on the tip of her tongue. Ignoring the incessant whining of the fae, the way that it made her want to claw her skin off, if she focused too much on it. “Yes. Jacket, that’ll work.” At least something useful can come of this, she thought to herself. “If we get it down here, just throw that over it and I can take care of the rest of it.” A malicious smirk crossed her lips as she looked up to the other hunter. “Then it won’t bother anyone ever again.”

“No one asked you,” Kaden hissed. He didn’t know if she was actually a hunter or even more specifically a warden, but he didn’t care. He was tired of little miss-know-it-all already. He was also tired of feeling his blood pounding in his veins, heart racing. Stupid fucking phobid. Maybe if he told himself what he was fighting, reminded himself in the back of his mind, he could push past all the illusions; he could stop worrying that the grass would cut him up and chop him to little pieces. Putain it was so stupid. “If you don’t have a net then why bother telling me my method is stupid?” he grumbled. He lined up the crossbow where he saw flittering in the trees, railing off shots one after another, hoping it would come close. It squeaked and darted back across the way, staying just out of reach. “Hey, you!” Kaden called out. “Ouh, scary big legs thinks he can talk back. What does he say? Are you going to attack the smaller one again? More more more!” it said, cackling as it darted away again. “Come down here and I’ll look right in your eyes. Think of all the fun you’ll have. I’ll make sure.” That seemed to pique its interest and the phobid peaked out from behind a branch. “You promise?” it asked. Kaden was careful to look to the side, away from the glowing orbs staring back at him. “Come closer and I’ll prom--” The fae got overly excited and swooped down. Just as he’d hoped. “I’ll promise to think about it!” he finished as he threw the jacket over the creature, pulling the ends together and trapping it inside. “Got it!” he shouted.

“Free advice. Seems like you might need it.” Athena spat back. She stretched for a moment, reaching her hands above her head. Readying her posture so that she would be able to act as quickly as was required. The man’s incessant nagging was doing her no favors in the concentration department, but every bothersome experience was a chance for greater growth, she reminded herself. Reminded herself again as he had the sheer audacity to make a remark on her not bringing a net. “I have my other ways and I could’ve gotten to it without it wreaking havoc all over this forest.” However, his teasing and nagging were good for one thing. The phobid seemed keen to cause greater trouble and with the man’s near promise - something that Athena had half a mind to give him a run-down lesson about - it flitted down through the tree branches, cackling in a pitch that even made Athena’s ears ache. The other man grabbed it in his jacket and a smirk crossed Athena’s face as she went over to him and grabbed the jacket, holding it in one hand, the buzzing of the phobid’s annoyance more pleasant now. “What should I do with it first, do you think?” She raised an eyebrow, adjusting her hands’ position so that she held tight to the jacket from below as she quickly unwrapped it and grabbed a hold of the phobid before it could fly away. “I could start with the eyes or the wings. Which do you think is best?”

Kaden wasn’t sure what he expected after he caught it. It was a phobid. They were hunters. If his suspicions were right, she was a warden. It should be easy. “What do you mean first?” he said, brows furrowed as she took the fae in her fingers. “Just kill--” Kaden’s eyes caught sight of the wings, twitching and fluttering in panic, hoping to get away, anywhere but there. He saw the wings. Bigger than any insect’s though similar enough. Much smaller than Regan’s. Nearly the same as Rumpleskuffs. “You promised! You promised! Big legs are all the same! Rotten evil tricky! I’ll make you scared! I will I will I will!” The fae’s voice sounded panicked and pathetic. It was hard to think of it as something worthy of scorn and hate or even fear. Then he heard her, the ire in her voice. “Wait what? Start with-- Why would you-- Just--” Just kill it? Should they kill it? It.. Was it harming anyone? Kaden shook his head, remembered his pulse, remembered the screaming hikers and terrified people. “No torture. Just kill it. Show it one kindness.” His voice was cold, stern. This wasn’t Rumpleskuffs. Or Regan. This creature hurt people. It-- It wasn’t the same. “No, no, no! Stop!” the phobid screamed while under her grasp. He clenched his jaw and tried not to feel.

“I mean how should we go about this?” She looked curiously at the other hunter. Athena wholly ignored the screaming phobid. It served it right, to be scared. Particularly when it had already done so much ever since she arrived in the forest, and who knew what it could have done before then. Her brother might have winced at what she was about to do, she considered for a moment. Just like back with the foireaux cat. “I think it deserves to be dealt with in pieces. Don’t you?” She narrowed her eyes for a moment. “Kindness? To this?” She half-spat. What kind of hunters were in this town? What kind of hunter would she be if she showed such a thing kindness? She grasped it harder, blue-painted nails nearly touching one another as she held it tightly. “Stop this! No, no! I’ll make you pay!” The phobid screamed. This had to be dealt with smoothly and quickly, now. With a quick movement of her hands, Athena sliced into one of its wings before running the blade across its eyes. “One kindness?” She looked up at the other hunter. “I’ll put it out of its misery.” She dug the knife right into where she supposed its heart would be, before dropping it onto the forest floor. “Just like you asked for.”

“Just kill it and be done,” Kaden repeated, voice harsher, but even in tone. He flinched at the sight of her cutting through the fae’s wings and eyes, turning away as she tore through it, like it was nothing. No, he was going to watch her, gaze hard, body still as she killed the creature. The wings twitched a moment as it fell on the ground with a small pathetic thud. Anger boiled through his blood, but it wasn’t at the monster, not now. Kaden reached out and grabbed her wrist, the one that had held the knife, and yanked it, twisted it so her weapon fell beside the creature. “Never do that again.” He stood over her, looking down, voice low and even just as before. “We kill monsters, we don’t torment them. We’re better than them.” He let go of her wrist, practically throwing it back to her. “The longer you take to kill a monster, the more time it has to kill you.” Kaden picked up his jacket and put his crossbow on its strap across his back. “Free advice. I think you might need it.” With that he turned and walked away, uninterested in spending any more time with the warden.

“No.” She replied. Athena knew full well that elongated periods of torture could cause more trouble than they could help, but there was something about his attitude that made her crave acting out. Relishing in the lack of comfort that he felt as she did so. She craved the control rather desperately, and this allowed it. He grabbed her wrist tightly and she winced for a moment before pushing the pain down. Responding with weakness wouldn’t do her any favors. She watched the knife fall to the ground, a certain sort of pain shooting up her arm. Work through the pain. “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m the only one who could manage this.” She giggled, then, too high-pitched and carefree for the given scenario. “We kill monsters, and sometimes a bit of a lesson needs to be taught.” Her voice was clipped, repeating words that she’d heard in some variation beforehand. “I know. But this thing wasn’t going to do anything to me. When I kill proper fae, I don’t let them stand a chance. Not once, not now, not ever.” She snorted. “I don’t need your advice. I’m plenty fine just on my own.” She bent down to pick up her knife, running her finger along the face of the blade, before giving a shrug. “See you around sometime, Robin Hood.”

[thewingedwings]

So my brother is currently wandering around the house sing you’ll be back from Hamilton and he got to the “EVERYBODY” line and I took it upon my self to sing/scream the DA DA DA bit and which scared shitles

It pays off to have the same musical taste as your sibling