#unclear. whoops. well. here they are!

[kinnbig]

no thoughts only Tankhun in Arm’s shirt 😵‍💫

[imperator-kahlo]

OK what even is happening with the Crows

I’ve just been trawling through the wiki and World of Thedas for a few hours trying to figure out what we (a) know, (b) can guess, (c) can speculate wildly about the inner workings of the Crows during the Dragon age.

(I am by no means an expert on the lore so please let me know where I have wildly missed the mark).

I'm definitely not trying to propose any kind of fanon consensus, where's the fun in that?! Just trying to figure out a timeline that makes sense to me. Possibly also toying around with a pre-canon Rookanis fic.

Loooong and probably insanely disorganised text post under the cut. I should have been in bed hours ago but I am hyperfixating on this and will not sleep until I hit post.

Spoilers, so many spoilers below: Veilguard, Tevinter Nights, The Silent Grove, Origins, Awakenings, the entire franchise basically.

So, a speculative timeline. Events in black are fairly or very well supported by the lore; events in blue are inconsistent/uncertain in the lore; events in purple are guesses that I can sort of back up; events in red are me throwing a dartboard at the wall.

Note: The wiki puts the events of "Eight Little Talons" in 9:44 Dragon, but I can't find any source for that. I would have guessed a little later, but let's roll with 9:44.

Also, I'm pretty unclear on the guildmaster/grandmaster distinction. I'm just going to say 'head of house' for whoever is in charge of a Crow house, or Talon if they're head of one of the eight Talon Houses.

Blessed Age

8:70 Blessed - Caterina born (she's described as well into her 70s during Eight Little Talons and as around 80 in the data-mined character descriptions for Veilguard, so give or take a couple years this seems right).

9:00 to 9:29 Dragon: House Arainai Shenanigans

9:00 Dragon - Antivan civil war, beginning of the "much maligned" Three Queens era (Codex, History of Kirkwall - Chapter 4). Unclear exactly what happens or over what period of time, but seems like the Crows would be in the thick of things.

9:05 - 9:10 - Caterina maybe reaches Talon status (not First, though). Around 8:98 Blessed would be the absolute earliest she could get there given Teia's holds the record (youngest Talon at 28). But I think Teia was at least three or four years younger than any previous Talon so I'd put it somewhere around here, if not a few years later.

9:12 Dragon - Zevran, aged 7, is purchased from a Rialto brothel by House Arainai. The House is led by First Talon Talav Arainai and described as rolling in coin after the "Three Brides" contract - they purchase 17 other slaves that year, including Taliesen (World of Thedas, vol 2, p. 96). I think based purely on vibes that House Arainai is fairly secure in First Talon position and has been there at least a couple years, probably longer.

9:15ish Dragon - Teia born (she's described as 28 in the data-mined descriptions, but she's already a Talon in 'Eight Little Talons', which says she was the youngest ever to reach the rank at age 28. I'm assuming she got there a year or two before the events of the story. See 9:17.

9:16 Dragon - whoops, sometime over the last four years it all went to shit for Talav Arainai! The House dropped to Second Talon, and he was executed in 9:16 after trying to take back the seat of First. Isadora Arainai takes over, and the House hangs on as Second Talon... for now. Rinna joins House Arainai and immediately works well with Zevran and Taliesen under the mentorship of Eoman Arainai (World of Thedas, vol 2, p. 96). This would be the earliest that Caterina could reach First Talon, but I'm not sure I'd put it this early. I think the latest she could possible reach First would be 9:25ish based on my guesses about House Velardo (see below).

9:17 Dragon - Lucanis born (described as 36 in the data-mined character descriptions. I know I threw out those descriptions for Teia, but I think we can be pretty certain Lucanis is mid thirties).

9:17 Dragon - Teia born. I was going back through Eight Little Talons and my initial read was wrong. Teia is 28 during the events of the story.

9:24 Dragon - House Arainai, having the sort of shitty luck they absolutely deserve, falls entirely out of the rank of Talons when Second Talon Isadora dies. They wallow amongst the cuchillos (minor houses) for a few years (World of Thedas, vol 2, p. 96).

9:22 - 9:27 - House Velardo attempts to usurp First Talon from House Dellamorte? The resulting war kills all of Caterina's children and grandchildren, save Lucanis and Illario. My reasoning here is this: Lucanis says he and Illario would have ended up with Caterina to train, but being orphaned sent them to her younger than anticipated. Zevran was purchased at age 7, so we know Crow training, at least for House Arainai slaves, begins very young. Perhaps the non-slave children of influential house leaders start later, but I would guess not much. So I'm assuming they end up with Caterina sometime between ages 5 and 10?

9:25 Dragon - King Maric is thought lost at sea, but is in reality being held by Third Talon Claudio Valisti in a Crow prison on behalf of a Tevinter Magister, Aurielion Titus.

Side note: I had the same reaction to finding out the Crows have a super-fun torture prison as I did to finding out Weisshaupt has dungeons. Just... why? That feels like mission creep? Does the assassin skill set at all overlap with the prison guard skill set?

9:26 - 9:28 - Eoman takes over as head of House Arainai. He eliminates House Ferragani, which was Eighth Talon, thus clearing the way for Arainai to claw its way back into power. Unfortunately, he needs the support of Third Talon Claudio Valisti to take over the position. Valisti wants Rinna Arainai dead (cult / royal bastard reasons) and Eoman tricks Zevran and Taliesen, her lovers, into doing it. This was a very stupid decision (WoT vol 2, p. 96).

9:30 to 9:43 Dragon: Zevran's Revenge

9:30 Dragon - Zevran, depressed and angry about Rinna's death, bids for the contract on the Warden's life. House Arainai is said to have accepted this contract because they believed Loghain to be the best person to defeat the blight (WoT vol 2, p. 96).

Side note: This sort of, if you squint, reconciles the contract on the Warden's life in 9:30 with the memento found in Veilguard that says the Crows had treaties with the Wardens to fight the "next blight". But also they tried to kill the Warden-Commander in Awakenings, too. I guess one could argue a new blight was unlikely so soon but like. Come on, guys. Is your word to the Wardens worth anything or not?

9:31 - 9:34 - If Zevran survived, he comes back from Ferelden with a spring in his step and murder in his heart (and possibly a Warden on his arm) and wreaks absolute havoc on House Arainai. Eoman is first to go, then like half a dozen more of their top people. The House loses Eighth Talon and falls once more into obscurity. The Crows call Zevran (or an unnamed assassin if Zevran is dead) the "Black Shadow" and speculate that he has allies among the cuchillos (WoT vol 2, p. 96).

9:34 - 9:43 - Where the fuck is Zevran?

9:37 Dragon - Corypheus is freed (Legacy DLC). The Venatori will start to be a thing in the next few years, so Lucanis is going to pick up his nickname between now and, say 9:50 Dragon. I'd put it between 9:45 and 9:49 because of vibes (and because he talks about not immediately specialising in mages. Crows get started very young, but I dunno. I see him starting on mages in his mid twenties because, again, vibes.)

9:38 - 9:40 - Events of The Silent Grove (comic - I haven't read it in a while but I'm throwing it in here for complete-ish-ness). Alistair, Varric and Isabela break into the Crow archive and Velabanchel prison (which side note is a totally heinous operation). Isabela kills Claudio Valisti (Third Talon passes to Ezio Valisti). This, for me, raises the question again: Where the fuck is Zevran (sob). Valisti was implicated in Rinna's death, so either Zevran never found out or he couldn't get to Valisti while he was cleaning house.

9:44 Dragon - Ongoing: We're Entering Our Freedom-Fighter Era

9:44 Dragon - The events of 'Eight Little Talons'. Briefly: Caterina calls all the Talons together to plan for the imminent invasion of the Antaam, but a whole bunch of murder happens. Turns out that Fourth Talon Emil Kortez made deal with the Antaam and was trying to wipe out the Crows' leadership. He was killed by the survivors and Viago suggests--correctly, I think--that Caterina will wipe out the whole house.

The following Talons are killed but it seems like their houses will probably retain their status, with somebody else taking over as Talon:

Dante Balazar, Second

Lera Valisti, Third

Giuli Arainai, Eighth (having only just managed to lift that fucking house back up to Talonship, shame lol)

In addition to Caterina, Viago, and Teia, Sixth Talon Nero Bolivar survives, but he um, isn't much help. I would guess that Caterina, in a pretty strong alliance with Viago and Teia and with all the other Talons being new, might fuck his shit up and try to get someone more solid in before the Antaam invade?

9:44 - ongoing - WHERE THE FUCK IS ZEVRAN???? He can't have taken control of any of the eight Talon houses, because he's not at the summit in 'Eight Little Talons'-- and however much he damaged House Arainai, they've clawed back some power by 9:44. Is there a breakaway faction of cuchillo houses that Caterina won't even dignify with an acknowledgment? Is he not interested in any kind of Crow power and is just fucking shit up for them - we can assume House Valisti has had a lock on Third Talon since at least 9:28 (Claudio or Ezio Valisti pop up periodically in this position), and my guess is House de Riva have held Fifth a decent period of time, but as far as I can tell we know nothing about Second, Fourth, Sixth and Seventh Talon Houses in this period. So maybe Zev is toppling houses left, right and centre? Seems like that sort of instability might have changed Caterina's approach in 'Eight Little Talons', though...

9:51 - Lucanis imprisoned in the Ossuary.

9:51 - Antaam invasion of Antiva, starting with Treviso. The Antaam rebellion begins in 9:44 and is ongoing; the failure of Kortez in 9:44 delayed the invasion somewhat. I wouldn't have thought it would delay it this much, but I'm pretty sure that it happened while Lucanis was imprisoned, right? So since we free him in 9:52 after a year in the Ossuary, the invasion must have been delayed until 9:51? Maybe very late 9:50?

"Conclusions"

(I haven't read the comics in a bit and I know there's some Crow stuff that goes down in there beyond the Silent Grove... but as best I recall its just Teia and Viago running into Varric and Harding, and some stuff setting up Solas and the Antaam. Please let me know if I'm mistaken!)

I think it's safe to say the Crows are in chaos for pretty much the entire first half of the Dragon age: Arainai are causing chaos from 9:16 to 9:25, then they pass the torch to Velardo, whose war against House Dellamorte must have lasted a few years if it wiped out almost all of Caterina's family. Zevran is on a murder spree at least between 9:31 and 9:34, and possibly (much) longer depending on your headcanon.

After, at very best, a decade's peace, 9:44 sees the plot to wipe out the Crow leadership, which fails but does kill half the Talons and lead to the elimination of at least one, maybe two of the Talon Houses. Half a decade after that the Antaam invades.

I've been completely on board with the critiques of Veilguard's portrayal of the Crows, but I think writing it all out like this has helped me reconcile things a little bit? This is a deeply chaotic network of feuding families, and no single Talon is going to have the secure political power to make sweeping changes. Which isn't to say the child abuse that was definitely still occuring in Houses Dellamorte and de Riva during Rook and Lucanis' childhoods is just fine. But it makes more sense to me now that Houses Dellamorte, de Riva and Cantori could have wildly different ideas about slavery and torture prisons than, say Houses Arainai and Valisti--and have extremely limited power to shift the culture of competing Houses. Even the First Talon's position is deeply precarious.

Whew. Good night!

(Just realised as I was tagging that I haven't slotted The Wigmaker Job in anywhere. I thiiiiink Viago mentions in 'Eight Little Talons' that Lucanis is currently in Tevinter for a job, maybe a sly reference to Wigmaker? But I cannot possibly get sucked in any deeper, my dog is losing her entire mind at me STILL being at the computer.)

***

Waking up and editing to add: At some point in her time as a Talon (probably First but I guess maybe not?), Caterina wiped out another house so completely that Teia doesn't even recognise the name, Gaspari, when Viago mentions it in 'Eight Little Talons'. Given House Velardo was the one that made a play for First Talon, this is a whole 'nother big intra-Crows conflict that slots in somewhere on this timeline. Caterina is ruthless, y'all.

***

Editing again a few days later to report that I was flicking through WoT and spotted a WHOLE-ASS ENTRY on Claudio Valisti that I’d managed to miss. I was… not happy. I’m begging you BioWare, no more information. I cannot reconcile it.

Anyway. World of Thedas, vol 2, p 44, has Claudio Valisti taking over from his father as Eighth Talon in 9:34, quickly getting the house to Sixth Talon and appearing to be going places. This appears to contradict p. 96 of the same, which has a Third Talon Claudio Valisti helping House Arainai in 9:28, as described above.

I thought very carefully about tearing the page out, burning it, and forgetting I ever knew this particular piece of lore.

Instead I have decided fuck it, we have a father-son pair here. Senior helped out Arainai in 9:28. His house later fell to Eighth (in my incredibly unwieldy and underdeveloped headcanon this is partly because helping Arainai really pissed off Caterina). Claudio Senior dies in 9:34, Claudio Junior inherits. By the time Junior dies to Isabela in 9:38-40 he’s got the house properly back on track, so the loss of a leader doesn’t destabilise them too badly.

Ezio Valisti is Third Talon in 9:41, according to the Winter Palace announcer in Inquisition, and the house still holds the third seat in 9:44.

(Also edited Teia’s birth year from 9:15 to 9:17; I misread Eight Little Talons. She’s 28 during the events of the story.)

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

vii. all of my enemies started out friends

— the one where you get the sense you've been betrayed.

warnings: death threats, foul language, a panic attack. 2.7k words. (+written articles) not proofread whoops.

masterlist ✢ next

By Alana Blake

WELL, all of our doubts have been cleared, here is the reason as to why our ex favorite couple called it quits months ago. Thank you to our anonymous source for spilling the tea!

First things first, let's not lie to ourselves, we all thought it had been Aidan Kim who had finally dumped y/n's ass for good. But as it turns out, he wanted to keep her forever? Aidan, boy...

Anyway, one night in February (ehem Valentine's Day, so cliché) he dropped down on one knee, popped the question with a beautiful Tiffany's ring and... Y/N SAID NO! Insert gasps here.

Without a good enough reason to justify her denial, y/n immediately ran to the opposite coast, where she currently resides with best friend, beauty guru and influencer Victoria Presley.

RELATED: Victoria Presley inaugurates first 'Presley Beauty' store in Beverly Hills.

Our source also confirmed y/n's blooming romance with Formula 1 pilot, Charles Leclerc.

"They are seeing each other, yes," the source said, "y/n doesn't want to call it a 'thing' since she's probably going to get bored of the poor guy.''

Well, there you have it. It looks like y/n's only talent is being a maneater. Somebody warn Charles Leclerc he's just piece of meat in the eyes of y/n!

SEE ALSO:

→ Victoria Presley attends the Monaco Grand Prix.

→ y/n y/ln reportedly auditioned for 'The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes'

→ Aidan Kim is currently recording his first solo album.

𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝘼𝙔? 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝘼 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙒!

You're seeing the top comments.

Anonymous – 4 hr ago

If I ever see y/n on the street i will literally kill her

sk12z8io – 3 hr ago

I KNEW SHE NEVER DESERVED AIDAN

mickeyyy – 40 min ago

she fucking cheated you cannot convince me otherwise

chiqin– 10 min ago

oh she's vile, rejecting a marriage proposal and getting together with another dude two months later? TRASH.

Anonymous – 10 min ago

I want to know who the source is and why are they speaking until now

WHO would have thought? y/n y/ln the "Queen of RomComs" where cheating is basically a Deadly Sin, is in fact, a cheater!

The news about y/n rejecting Aidan Kim's marriage proposal came out only a few hours ago via Inside Out, and while they claim y/n didn't have a good enough reason not to get engaged to Kim, we believe quite the opposite.

Having a side-piece is a perfectly good reason, actually. Sources, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed that at the time of the proposal, y/n was already seeing Monegasque pilot Charles Leclerc, but they had been able to keep it a secret until Elix contract made y/n start showing up at Grand Prix.

Although the information spreading around is still unclear, we can be sure of two things: Aidan Kim dodged a bullet and y/n is probably the worst person on Earth.

#Y/NIsOverParty

June 3rd Barcelona, Spain.

You're sitting with Charles and Carlos when you get the first ping on your phone. You don't give it much thought, Mildred told you she'd send you two script excerpts she wanted you to practice for an audition video, plus your phone doesn't even really stop ringing.

Spain has been fun so far, you have been around both Carlos and Charles around a lot lately. Carlos is always keen on dropping facts about his country and you got, just like with Charles, his special edition Ferrari merch. This time you wear it, because fuck fashion podcasts.

Charles doesn't let this slip, feigning annoyance that you prefer to wear a Spain cap than a Monaco one, and telling you he will in fact take it personally. But he doesn't, of course, he's thrilled you're more comfortable around both of them. Enough to join them for dinner yesterday and today.

The Ferrari boys are talking about FP3 and how Qualifying might go later. They've done pretty well this weekend, and you're hoping Carlos will end the Grand Prix on the podium like Charles did last week.

"Is that your phone?" Carlos asks, he's tried his best for the last few minutes to ignore the never-ending flow of notifications, even after you've silenced it, the vibration still makes him lose focus on the conversation.

"Sorry," you wince, knowing how annoying it is. "It's probably Vic."

"Everything okay?" Charles frowns, following your hands as you take your phone out of your pocket again to activate the Do Not Disturb.

"Yeah, I don't—"

Your sentence hangs in the air unfinished as you read the screen, the last notification comes from Matilde an 'are you okay? call me' text. And then your eyes slide to the BREAKING NEWS from People Magazine, whose notifs you forgot to deactivate. You don't even know why you have the app anymore.

The preview shows your picture, a red x on your face and the words 'Cheater Alert' capitalized and bold.

"y/n?" you see the motion of Carlos' hand from the corner of your eye, but by now, you're obsessively scrolling down the 150+ notifications on your phone. Texts, calls, e-mails, tweets, comments.

You stop in the INSIDE OUT EXCLUSIVE the moment your eyes catch the word 'ring'.

They know.

And if they know, everyone knows.

Charles pushes his chair back, making the half empty styrofoam cup of coffee you were drinking spill all over the table. "What's wrong?"

Aidan has told them. Aidan fucking Kim, petty and vengeful Aidan Kim has told them about the ring. Because he wants to bury you so far down, you'll never be able to claw your way out of the hole.

Who else could have been? You told no one. Not a soul. How can a person not even tell their parents that she got a marriage offer and said no immediately, right before hopping on a plane to the other side of the country?

But cheating? Where the fuck did that come from? He's even lying now. Because he hates you, of course he hates you. Aidan Kim is not used to humilliation and that's what you did when you rejected him. And although it was an unspoken accord that you wouldn't tell anyone about it, he has done so, because what is better for his upcoming album than being the heartbroken artist with the bitch for an ex.

People are going to write 'It's your loss y/n!' with their proof of streaming for a retweet from Aidan's account, managed by a 34-year-old guy who can't stand Aidan's fans on a normal basis.

"I– I have to–" your mouth is dry, tongue thick and heavy, and you feel the cold shower of anxiety from your nape to your tailbone. This can't be happening.

And you don't know what you have to do. Call Mildred and Walter? Ask them what the fuck is going on over there and start an actual damage control PR thing? It's too late for that.

"What can we do?" Carlos questions this time, worry flows in his voice at the change in your semblance. "What can we do for you?"

You're scared, because people have talked shit endlessly for weeks thinking it had been Aidan who dumped you, changing the narrative, twisting it time and time again.

They have suspected you broke up with Aidan, they have dragged you through the mud, called you heartless for getting over him so quickly. Paired you up with Charles and called you both problematic for breathing around each other and being friends.

And they might have forgiven you eventually, but not if you actually broke Aidan Kim's heart and burned down his dream of a house, a marriage and a happy family. And by cheating.

He's lying, but who would believe you?

Your already agonizing career is never coming out of this. And at this point, maybe acting seems irrelevant compared to the way people are going to treat you from now on. No one forgets a woman who humiliates a man so publicly. She doesn't deserve to be forgiven, not when she's such a bitch.

"I can't breathe," you wheeze, clutching your hand against the fabric of your shirt. Your hands are prickling, and your brain is fogged, foreign. "I can't breathe."

Neither man touches you as you lean down, hands on your knees, shutting your eyes so hard you think your eyeballs might explode.

You feel one of the boys move, but you don't open your eyes to see who left. Your priority is getting air into your lungs, and you can't seem to do even just that.

"y/n," Charles is the one who stayed, and despite speaking slowly, you recognize the underlying panic there. "I'm going to touch you, okay?"

Your only response is a strangled noise as you breathe through your mouth.

Charles runs his hand down your back, you can feel his rings and the heat of his palm. “Try to breathe through your nose, y/n.”

He feels stupid for saying it, but it’s the only advice he sees fit. Carlos left to look for the medical staff that Ferrari takes with them everywhere.

You squeeze your thighs with your hands and again take a gasp of air. “I can’t. Help me, I can’t.”

Charles makes you straighten up by grabbing your shoulders gently. “Please try. You’re speaking you can breathe.”

You breathe through your nose, but it isn’t enough to relieve the pressure on your chest.

Carlos comes back just when you feel like you will pass out. And you let the medical staff lead you away, leaving both your friends behind, worried sick and wondering what could have possibly triggered you like that.

You're still lying in the gurney after Qualifying is done. The medical team doesn't let you watch it, you should not be subjected to strong emotions right now. The thing is, the strong emotions haven't even started. You need to talk to your team, and you want to talk to Aidan. You've only heard from him twice since your breakup in February, the last time three days ago when he texted you 'out of SoHo'.

In all honesty, you're not certain you'll be able to hold a conversation with him without telling him to go fuck himself or having another panic attack. But you must know the reasoning behind his actions, no matter how stupid it is. How angrier it will make you. You want to understand why the person that once loved you is stabbing you in the back like this.

You're free to go an hour later, and it's some kind of miracle that you're relieved of your Elix duties. Maybe it has to do with the disaster that Ferrari's Quali was, in contrast to the Free Practices. No one wants to make things worse, or have pictures to remember it.

By the time you're back in your hotel room, Aidan's campaign has been transported to Youtube. And it's only 10 am in Los Angeles.

FROM AIDAN KIM’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL “STATEMENT ON RECENT NEWS”

You are looking at the top comments.

star5dan he had to find out he got cheated on thanks to People? fuck

flowerbedkim I'm not even joking, i will end y/n

dropbeats1 it takes a lot of courage to propose, y/n is def a bitch

stardomyn you knew y/n for years and you can't defend her? she is obviously not a cheater.

aidanyn this keeps getting worse i can't pick a side😭

You read the articles sitting in your bed. Legs crossed and back curved, with your shoulders slumping forward. It's like you have the whole weight of the world back in them, and you're not even sure you're strong enough to carry it anymore.

Did you really not have a good enough reason to say no? Not having a good reason to say yes should be enough, at least that's the way you think about it.

But you had many, many reasons. Some you'd denied yourself to even think about before he pulled the ring out of his pocket.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, you knew that. You know that. But how long can you stay in an all time low?

Maybe you lied to yourself saying Aidan had never hinted marriage was in his plans. He mentioned it in interviews, and in casual conversations with other people. He would tell you that “in the future” you’d have to reconsider being an actress. That you should really think about the roles you wanted to take on so they didn’t haunt you (and you hypothetical children) in the future.

Aidan would drop comments about how you should stick to the easy parts of acting, making the same movies, for example. How you should behave a certain way and shut your mouth in specific occasions.

How you had to change yourself to fit into what he wanted.

And you did. Because at first, it wasn’t that he wanted you to change for him. He made you think he wanted you to change for your own good.

And that night in February, you realized you were scared. The thought of spending the rest of your life like that terrified you. So you ran, and that was really the bravest thing you could have done.

And the bravest thing you can do now is stand up to him. Because he cannot keep on stepping on you and destroying what you built for yourself.

"Hello?"

You're shocked he actually picks up your call but you can't back down now.

"What the fuck, Aidan?" you try not to raise your voice, you do your best to help the strain that comes from not crying. You're furious, not sad, but you know Aidan won't recognize the difference. "What the fuck is this whole circus you're putting up now?"

The way he chuckles makes you want to throw your phone across the room.

"Do you really think that was me?" he asks, changing his voice to a lower tone. "Do you think I willingly say the girl I invested three years of my life on said she didn't want to marry me?"

"Well who else could have been? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"It was not me, y/n! Jesus Christ I don't know how many people—"

"So it was your sister, that bitch?"

"Don't you call me sister a bitch ever again."

Well Mia Kim is a bitch. And she was for the whole three years you dated Aidan.

Starting with telling anyone who would listen that you were after Aidan for clout, even after you hooked her up with your acting instructor and helped her get a minor role in Outer Banks. Comments on your appearance, on your acting, and the way you Aidan and you got along. And the worst part was that every time you two saw each other she acted like she adored you.

"She is a bitch, Aidan, and this is something she would do out of spite! Also, cheating? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I don't put anything past you, y/n." Aidan chuckles again, it's sarcastic and bothersome.

"Fuck you, Aidan. We knew each other for years, and suddenly I'm the worst person on Earth?"

"Yeah, maybe you always were and whoever is letting people know is doing the world a huge favor."

Your skin isn't thick enough yet, and his words hit the way he intended.

"I'm glad people are eating you alive, y/n," he continues as your silence prolongs, you can't swallow the tears now. "It's what you deserve."

He hangs up before you can respond, and it doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing you can say to make him admit to his crimes, and he's happy. He's happy you're being torn down in such a vile way.

The phone inside your hotel room rings and you pick it up before being able to pull yourself together. The 'what?' that lashes out catches the woman downstairs off guard, and this is another thing you add to the list of things that make you the worst person on planet Earth.

"Someone is here for you, Miss y/ln," she says in an apologetic tone, "Mr. Leclerc?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to speak to you like that," you take a deep breath, and then process her words. "Leclerc?"

"Hmhmm," she hums, "Should I send him upstairs?"

The alarm clock next to the phone shows 19:57 in red and you remember you agreed to meet him and Carlos for dinner at seven thirty. You didn't even shower or changed.

"Uh– yeah, please do."

You splash cold water on your face and brush your teeth in the two minutes it takes him to get to your room.

Charles knows there's something wrong the moment you open the door, and it doesn't take a genius, really. But you wish he was oblivious to the way you look and the off-putting energy you give off.

"I'm sorry I'm late," you say making space for him to enter the mess of a room you have. "Is Carlos waiting downstairs?"

"He's at the restaurant already," Charles shrugs, it doesn't matter that you've made them both wait over twenty minutes. "Are you okay?"

You sit on your bed, letting him stand in the middle of the room, like a mannequin out of place. You have two options, lying to him, pushing everything under the rug and lookin for your purse to meet Carlos downstairs. Or tell the truth and burst out crying in front of him.

You don't like either.

So you stay silent, looking at patterns in the rug and trying to get your racing brain to come to a stop, if only to have a decent meal with the two guys that saw you panic hours ago.

Charles sits down next to you, the mattress gives to his side, sinking. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You eye his hand as he places it on top of the washed out knee of his jeans. The prominent veins and the three rings on his fingers. You remember the way it felt when he ran his hand down your back.

"I don't." you reply, taking your eyes back to his face. You wonder if he knows, just doesn't want to mortify you about it. That he's 'just a piece of meat' and a 'homewrecker'. You wonder if Carlos knows too.

"Do you still want to come downstairs?" Charles tilts his head, giving you a smile that lifts one corner of his mouth.

"Sure, let's do that," you get up from the bed smoothing your jeans down although there's nothing wrong with them, and regaining that self-consciousness that you didn't even change your clothes for dinner while Charles is looking like that in a clean white shirt. "Sorry for being late."

Charles lets you roam around the room looking for your purse for two minutes, still sitting on the edge of your bed, before speaking again. "We really like you, y/n. I really like you."

You snap out of your self-induced trance, pretending like you were checking you had everything you needed in your purse. "What?"

"Carlos and I really like you, and so does Matilde, and that friend of yours Victoria. You're not alone, I hope you know that."

He's seeing right through you again.

And the effort that took you to pull yourself together and the self-deprecating words that ran through your head to force yourself not to cry in front of him are all left behind, as you burst out crying.

You let Charles hold you, his right hand on the nape of your neck while the other soothes you the way it did earlier. He doesn't complain about the way your tears stain his shirt, and doesn't even make a sound as you sob.

And you stay like that for as long as you need to, although you haven't cried nearly enough. It has to suffice for now. Because you have to go back to L.A. and fix the mess Aidan created.

─── team principal radio: ❝i feel like i'm doing rowoon super dirty by having him as aidan kim, tbh. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! reblogs and comments/asks are highly appreacited, i'd love to know your thoughts!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @sassyheroneckgiant @flowerchild-96 @fangirlika @shegotboreddsoo @roseamongthorns13 @cissyp @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @roni-midnights @gayyvodka6 @studioreader @its-ash-not-grey @lu-morningstar-2 @ferraribabe @reidsworld @feelslikestrawberries @celestialams @kosmosgalore @heeseung-baby @missenclod @buendiabebeta @mycenterfold @aces-tattooartist @burningrred @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @rainybabe25 @ru-kru @lazybot @teenagedreams-cl @cool-ultra-nerd @kuskumu @formulakay3 @bisexual-desi @somanyfandomsbruh @icarus-nex @haziefairy @xjval @xoxoloverb @sainzleclercs @headinthecloudssblog @incoherenciass @bookophiliac @torrie421 @nooshytushie @azxulaa

want to join the paddock club? click here!

[plural-this-user-is]

I really love ur stylized userboxes!! The fonts n stuff look so well done, how do u make them so nice looking? /nf

Really appreciate the question(s) and the compliment!

One of us (Unknown who) tried to answer this before, but never answered the actual asks... so I'm here to do it, whoops!

Process for our userboxes below the cut! -🦋

We use the app iBis Paint X for all of our Userboxes! (should be avaible to all devices)

This is our template and outline for all our userboxes (which you can use if you want - we don't gatekeep)!

When you're in the app, click the plus (+) symbol and then import image. It should be transparent in the app.

The font we use for our Userboxes is called "Gen Jyuu GothicX Heavy" and is avaible to download in the hundreds of fonts that the app offers to you!

After this, the process is rather simple:

Choose the image of your liking and make it fit into the left square of your userbox.

After that you can either pick the colors of the image or choose your own colors for the rest of the userbox (namely the right rectangle and the outlines)

Then you can put the text of your liking and color it to your liking. Our order of layers is like this:

Our settings for the text is:

Our text size is anywhere between 40 - 60 (this entirely depends on the size of the text we put into the userbox). The outline size is always at 15.

I'm not the best at explaining, I think, but if you do everything to your liking, your userbox should look something like this:

I really hope this makes sense whoops,,, if not feel free to ask questions or point out things that I left unclear!!

[violenciorp]

What if...? The Super Soldier Serum doesn't work and Steve doesn't become Captain America?

There is a 'What if…?' inspired (?) game ("""immersive story""") on the apple vision now. I have not played it (who the hell would buy an apple vision lmao) but I watched some lets plays (on youtube) and while I don't think the full experience is…. all that great, it does look very nice, seems congruent (canon-compliant?) with everything else from the What if...? show, AND there is a Steve plotline featuring Bucky, Hydra, Red Guardian and kinda Red Skull that has some interesting plot points that I feel are interesting both as character studies or as AU starting points, so I'll summarise and provide some badly screenshoted pictures as evidence 🥲 I'll put this under the read more just in case soemoen here does have 3.5k for useless equipment and wants to experience the 'game' themselves.

Basic set up of the little interactive experience/game; You get recruited by the Watcher to collect all infinity stones for… reasons, and to do that, you get zapped around different multiverses. To collect the power stone (purple), you get put into Siberia, where you learn the following: During the second World War, the allied forces tried to create a supersoldier to put a stop to the Nazis/Hydra -- just as they did in our universe

Unforunately, though, shit goes wrong, the serum doesn't work, and the machines explode, so that Steve doesn't become the hunk of a man we know and love but… well, red skull.

Don't get me wrong, he's still a good guy, but, in his own words: 'The allied forces had an ideal vision of a super soldier -- and that wasn't me.'

They basically didnt use them as propaganda because he's uggo now, lmao. Without touring as a motivational piece doing little shows, though, he also never really becomes Captain America.

And without a force to put their bundled hopes in, the allied forces fall apart, and Hydra wins (!) without a super soldier to stop them.

The timeline gets more fuzzy now, it is not clear to me if some/most/all of the events are meant to be happening at around WW2 time, or much later. 'Siberia 1988' was thrown around, but I'm honestly not sure if it's meant to be the date, or just some reference. However, one character shows up significantly aged at the end of the show, so it actually might be 1988, implying that Hydra did rule most of Europe (?) for 30-40 years. Either way, Hydra does start creating Super Soldiers using the purple Infinity Stone, the Power Stone. Steve, either on a solo-mission or sent by Shield (unclear), goes to Siberia to retrieve the stone, that is guarded by Red Guardian. Red Guardian refuses to give the stone to Steve, as 'the powers of the stone make monsters out of men', using it is "nothing to be proud of" and 'you don't look like scientist. you don't sound like scientist… well, uh… no, you have skull for face' (literal quote, lmao, love it), so they fight.

Steve looses the fight, BUT --- sees Bucky in one of the tanks, before he has to flee the scene, as he is just about to get his ass whooped.

Wanting to save his friend, Steve now helps you to collect all the stones, yadda yadda, intergalactic multiverse bullshit happens, blabla, i dont care. Once you do collect all the other infinity stones with some other marvel characters, there is a bit of a twist, a big showdown, and then you have two choices: Either, you give each hero the stone that they were after, or you "do the right thing" and destroy the stones.

If you go for the good ending and destroy the stone, Steve goes back to his universe. Without the stone being there to create all these Super Soldiers for Hydra Steve and Red Guardian team up to free Winter Soldier Bucky.

and together they form a 'nation-less alliance of superheros' to fight some bad guys which the red guardian calls the… musketeers.

[[It is unclear to me where Steve got a shield, considering that he absolutely didn't have one up to this point. I also wonder if 'nation-less' means that Steve rejects being an American here? Red Guardian not being American makes sense, Bucky not easily being allowed to return also makes sense with all the war crimes he committed, but I do like the idea of Steve doing the right thing here leads him to be a lot less patriotic than in our canon.]]

However: If you do give Steve the infinity stone, he brings it to SHIELD ---- which seems to be represented by the aged What if? model of Howard Stark from the second season of the show, making me believe that it might in fact be playing in 1988 --- which does lead the US to win the war against HYDRA, but also "unleashes the super soldier threat back home" with there being hundreds of supersoldier chambers being shown.

I'm assuming the implication is that shield = hydra or maybe just super soldiers = bad no matter where they are? Interestingly, there is no more mention of Bucky in this ending, so I guess Steve was too busy acquiring world domination or something to still care about him. Considering that Howard is his old-model here, this does imply that Steve only retrieves the power stone by the late 80's. Not sure what he has been up to for the 40 years until then -- was he also somewhere frozen? Do red-skull-supersoldiers just not age? --- but it does imply that Hydra was (openly!) in control of at least most of Central Europe for this entire time period, before the US finally had a chance to beat them.

They are definitly using the same models/assets as in the TV show, so I do wonder if we will see some of these elements in the next season, too, considering they already announced an episode featuring Bucky and Red Guardian. Overall, while I feel like it doesn't really fulfill the criteria of a good interactive game/experience, I found this plot line quite interesting, and having the serum fail Steve, and he therefore nor being the Golden Boy and rejected by the allied forces, plus the potential 40-year long rule of Hydra are super intriguing to me. Bucky and Red Guardian also not being created by the serum, but by the powers of the infinity stone also seem like an interesting starting point for some musings, AUs and fics. I also wonder what Hydra had been doing with Bucky for those 40 years for Steve not having known/heard about him in the mean time. Ie. if someone writes fanfic based on this, please send it to me haha. Or TL; DR: It's basically a "What if Steve was ugly?" (in the words of @tinaxpow )

[cakesandfail]

Do you have any headcanons about how Vetinari ended up taking power?

Actually yes I do!

I wrote a fic about his first day in power that vaguely referenced this and while I don't have like, a fully fleshed out story, there are a few bits and pieces that I sort of bodged together from things in the books and what I personally find entertaining about him as a character:

There's a bit in Soul Music which says that there was a rat plague in Ankh-Morpork shortly before Vetinari came to power, and that his solution was "tax the rat farms". It's unclear in context whether this means he suggested it at the end of Snapcase's time in power or if it was one of the first things he did after he became Patrician. I've just gone ahead and assumed that the rat plague was the last straw for Snapcase and that actually having a good suggestion was one of the reasons Vetinari was in people's minds as a replacement

That then leads us to ask, well, what on earth was he doing there? He's been in power a fair while even by Guards Guards but chronologically must still only be in his early 40s by then, to have been in his late teens in the 30-years-ago bits of Night Watch (and he can't be older than that, because it's made fairly clear that he's in the Guild equivalent of secondary school at that time, and Vimes knows that the two of them are approximately the same age). Given his canonically hilariously long list of postgrad qualifications, he probably went straight from Assassins Guild grad school to the Oblong Office, more or less. Conclusion: he was the fucking INTERN. (or possibly working as a clerk, but calling him the intern is at least 500% funnier)

Given the running joke about him being this weird posh dude who doesn't seem like a threat until you remember where he was educated, I would imagine that his whole "ah capital jolly good here I go getting slang wrong again" bullshit started here. We know that among the Ankh-Morpork elite, pretending to be stupider than you really are is something that can both keep you safe and help you get away with a lot, because we see Vetinari and Vimes and Sybil do it. So this is where he got his practice. Bertie Wooster the FUCK out of your working day, quietly get on with the things that need to be done while nobody's looking, and nobody will realise because they just think you're Madam's weird nephew with the shit beard and the puppy

So, bearing all that in mind, picture this:

Snapcase is dead. The important people (at least, the people who think themselves important) converge on the palace. In a small room off the Oblong Office is a young man steadily working through a large pile of paperwork. Oh, yes, that's Madam's nephew, you know... Havelock, isn't it? They ask if he knows what's happened, and he says no, he has no idea, he's just been working his way through all these regulations, and gosh, they really are very dull. And... well... nobody else is here. And nobody else seems to understand the filing system, or the rest of the staff, or anything really. But he does.

This guy's had a few good ideas when he's been doing the minutes at various meetings, that makes him a plausible candidate surely? And he's so young, so he's going to need a lot of guidance from helpful, experienced folks, right? How useful. He's just smart enough not to be an obvious puppet. Very handy indeed.

And the cream of Ankh-Morpork society being what they are (truly the cream- rich and thick) they don't realise until it's far too late that this lanky goth weirdo they'd thought would do their bidding knows everything about everyone and he's been quietly furious about the result of the Glorious 25th for over a decade. And, whoops, they'd somehow forgotten that he didn't spend all of that time on Guild postgraduate courses doing resits. Oh dear. And now he's their boss.

[mer-acle]

🍪 hello hi I have a cookie just for you if you tell me about Melody

ahhh sorry I didn't forget, I had it on my to-do for later today (actually it was on there for yesterday too whoops)🙈

Anyway

Melody is kinda the new girl in town (town meaning the Gryphons' HQ, poor girl) She got recently adopted from the orphanage she'd been living at, but naturally the Grypons aren't exactly intent on giving her the family she wanted. Instead, she gets the task to go to a house and steal something with a girl'd DNA on it. Why? Why her? Why this girl? She doesn't know. She just knows she's terrified and that they'll kill her with the tracking bracelet if she steps out of line.

Then she meets Marielle. She finds out that the girl she's meant to steal from is Hannah, Ellie's niece. They want to find out if she inherited the gene too, and take her if she does. And it's unclear how long Melody will be able to stall it.

Honestly Melody is so sweet. She just wants a family who loves her. She wants no part in harming Hannah or her family. She needs a hug (Ellie gives her more than one). In a lot of ways, she's a parallel character to Marielle, being the same age she was taken, but they're very different. Melody's much more quiet and subdued than Ellie. She likes to observe before she acts.

As I said, she got "adopted" by Jamie, which sucks for both of them. They work it out bc they're both sweethearts. The rest of the resistance really grows to care for Melody, too. She has pretty bad self-esteem issues, but now that she's in the darkest place she's ever been, she also finds people who genuinely like her. Marielle, who wants nothing more than to get free, not only includes her in that, but prioritizes her safety over her own. (I love them SO MUCH you do not understand. like ahhhh Ellie looked at her and was like well I'm protecting the kid now) I also can't wait to get Melody in the same scene as Hannah. They don't know it yet but they have great friend vibes, and I plan on making that happen XD

Also here's what she looks like ( That's Jamie on the left, I realized I didn't put a pic of her in her post lol)

My babies 😍

Also thank you so much for asking, (munches the cookie), I'll try to be quicker responding next time, I really appreciate it! 💜💜

[lazaruspiss]

sladedicktalia??????? i am LISTENING

there's like. 5 fics. im so starved. i think theyre so hot and funny together!! im obsessed. also this got long so im adding a readmore. whoops.

SlaDick: classic enemies to lovers. they may try to kill each other half the time but they respect each other more than anyone else. OBSESSED with each other, Slade knows he's weird about Dick and couldn't care less but Dick is so in denial about it. they could both give explicit consent but be so antagonistic about it that it becomes unclear if "yes i want to have sex with you" is actually code for "die right now" and i think that's beautiful.

SladeTalia: they fucked! in canon! there was some bullshit plotline where Talia tried to give Slade Damian and pretend he was his son instead! ex fuck buddies who show up just to make each other's lives harder bc they wanna fuck so bad it makes them have stupid brain. also they're both hot as hell. i'm weak for big strong milf/dilf idk idk.

DickTalia: LISTEN TO ME. TALIA WOULD TREAT HIM RIGHT. THEY BOTH KNOW HOW EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING IT IS TO LOVE BRUCE. LISTEN TO M- ok aside from that. Talia is someone who tried so hard to be good, to choose to be kind. She loved Bruce because she saw how hard he tried to do good in the world. Her character has gotten considerably colder over time, in huge part due to a certain writer writing about her despite knowing nothing about her, but in universe i try and rationalize it as a growing cynicism stemming from both her father's gradually increasing cruelty and Bruce's failure to support her or commit to her or to even just respect her. She hasn't been shown to have very many people in her life who she can really trust and be close to. She used to have a good relationship with Ra's, she used to have Bruce, she's even lost Damian at this point. She feels like such a lonely character to me. And I think Dick would be able to see that, be able to understand it better than most. He's always had people who loved him, people he could turn to, but he's also ended up perpetually isolated for one reason or another. Dick and Talia both feel to me like characters who are so lonely the further they get in their lives. I could see a silent understanding there. The kind of people who would be able to find solace in simply sharing a space with each other. Neither of them like to talk about what they've been through, I think they'd like to have someone who just gets it. Trauma for trauma, you know?

SlaDickTalia: several angles available here.

1) Dick deserves some sexy older lovers who would wine and dine him and also rail him within an inch of his life and also kill for him. i am not immune to the aesthetics!! to the allure of a hot older duo double teaming their young spitfire partner!!!

2) corruption arc. u know u wanna.

3) Dick's fear of abandonment x the 2 most devoted people on the planet. if they were dating nothing bad would happen to Dick again, Slade and Talia just wouldn't allow that. smth smth, couldn't get rid of them if he tried <3

4) Bruce would hate it and that's always fun :3 not that that's hard tho, Babs is like the only one of Dick's partners that Bruce liked and that's bc he wants to keep it in the family.

5) healing.... sobs...... esp when it comes to feelings around parenthood. Those three have shit to work out and i think having some company would help.

6) They all need more people time but 2/3 of them don't get along with anybody so they're kinda stuck with Dick. that kid will forgive anybody if u bat ur eyelashes and behave well enough. He's also more likely to still see them as people despite everything they've been through, and when you're a military experiment and a semi immortal daughter of an immortal terrorist... It can be hard to find someone who looks at you like you still have a chance at humanity.

7) Slade and Talia playing a Cat Vs Dog type game with Dick in the middle. I think it's funny.

[finalfrontierpublishing]

Ok so I've been very quiet cause of all the prep for binderary - please behold the binderary stack of doom!

I set a goal of 12 books - unclear whether I will meet that target but the prep work has been done. As of now, I am a little behind.

Book 1 of Binderary! An anthology series by magneticwave. Anyone who knows me will know I absolutely love magneticwaves' AU fics, they have such a great writing style and they manage to capture a lot of different genres/characters perfectly.

Fics can be found on ao3 here.

Statistics:

Body text: Liberation Serif, 11 point

Heading: Bodoni MT

Subheading: Didn't LT Std

So to be honest I started typesetting this in July last year when I first started typesetting but hadn't gotten the hang of setting my styles for headers/body text and OH BOY was it monstrous to edit. My sweet baby bookbinder bad habits! I had to completely redo the typeset from scratch, it was too horrendous to do it manually.

Endbands are done in silk, I'm still on 2 colours as I am a coward - who knows when I will proceed to 3. I did however make a boo boo as I changed my colour scheme after I did my endbands and then went whoops. Oh well.

I did some bravery with this and used text weight endpapers for the first time. Was very lucky and had benefit of experience that it did not crease.

Obligatory shelf fic because the shelf is up to 10 but I have 11 incomplete textblocks sitting on my desk and alas, where will I put the books now.

Jesus I need to stop binding red and gold books I evidently have a problem.

Cover icons credited to noun project: David S, Aamond Garg, ochre7, Mark Hammar

[prometheus023]

The Disciples of Skuldak - 5th Ed Word Bearers

whoop I did not mean to take this long to make another post

Following on from my 5th Ed World Eaters army, I'd like to introduce you to one of my largest 40k armies, my Word Bearers.

This has been a really fun project as it has been designed from the start to be an excerise in efficiency. To help show newcomers to the hobby it doesn't have to be expensive or time consuming (unless you want it to)

As such, this army is comprised exclusively of old, second hand Chaos Marines and vehicles that are as cheap as I could find. So quite a lot of them were pretty beat up and clogged with paint when I first got them. But if you arent picky, you can get a marine for as little as $2 AUD. Thats how this army has 160 of them after 18 months.

They're lightly cleaned up, using spare parts to repair as necessary and then painted with contrast colours over a leadbelcher base coat. If I can't finish ten of them in an evening, then it's taking too long!

I'm not going to post them all in one hit, but let's check out Skuldak and go from there!

A former Dark Apostle turned Daemon Prince, Skuldak delegates most of the warband's activities to his lieutenants. As there is no official record of any Word Bearer legionnaires with that name, its unclear if he joined the Word Bearers after they retreated into the Eye of Terror or chose the name upon his ascension to daemonhood.

Seeking to emulate their master and demonstrate their dedication to the teachings of Lorgar, many of Skuldak's followers engage in the practice of inviting daemonic possession. The results are unsurprisingly chaotic. (Also I just love the diversity of this old plastic kit)

Heres 25 of the regular, rank and file Chaos Marines. A perk from buying low cost, second hand Warhammer is sometimes you find a cool Lil treasure amongst them! Like this old second edition Icon Bearer from the mid 90s!

Now before that gets too repetitive...

Vehicles!

A Predator Destructor and Annihilator, respectively. Again, both mid 90s second edition models that are a hybrid of plastic and metal pieces! Worth a small fortune if you're getting them in mint condition. If not... well these two cost me the same as a brand new Predator would have. That's a win!

We then have a Chaos Vindicator that I picked up for around $10 because it was caked in paint that I scraped off with a hobby knife!

That's about all Tumblr will let me cram into one post, so stay tuned and I'll have another group of vehicles and units from this army up soon!

One of the best things about this army to me, is how it gives tired old models a new life. The kind of minis your parents would throw out because it was a phase, or you would eventually discard because you paint better or moved onto a new faction.

Here, they're part of an army we make available at every game day for new players to borrow and learn to play with. And if anything breaks? It's completely chill! It's easy fixed and not as if someone dropped a $100 model I spent 40 hours painting. That It's also a really fun, easy scheme, I think it's easy to see how I've just kept adding to it!

[kiwipineappleparasol]

oh Yeah I forgot I never Posted the rest of my Thoughts on the TTYD remake ... Whoops! These things happen I suppose. Since it’s almost OG TTYD’s NA release again, might as well post them now ! Spoilers below for the whole game and post game!

THE EXCESS EXPRESS IS SOOO PRETTY WITH THE NEW LIGHTING !!! I had to take so many screenshots. Especially at sunset or at night. And the MUSIC… The evening atmosphere in general is just soooo good. I would keep trying to get images of my partners sitting at the dining tables to little success.

I remember getting a taste of all the new poses before the remake came out with some comparison images but it's still so cool to me

I had Vivian out when I inspected the stains on the dining car floor and . Actually I'll just put the clip here . Beldam SUCKS (we knew this it's just being reiterated)

the Ghost T sequence looks awesome. The light of Heaven…. Of course I read his diary, and holy shit the glitching effects and stuff wasn't what I expected at all (can’t remember if they were in the og) but it really adds to the DEATH CURSE .

my mother asked why they'd bother to tie up Doopliss because he did nothing wrong . This is true Doopliss has never done anything wrong in his (after)life (joking statement)

Riverside station is soooo pretty….. Unclear how the sun is supposed to be going through the mountains like that though. Not like it matters when it looks so Cool and Wavy.

The inside of the station looks less run down than it did from my memory and moreso just old and abandoned, in a way that I like. It just feels so …empty in a good way.

When you're supposed to hit the Smorgs with your hammer, if you have any partner other than Goombella out and use the Partner Hint, she will tell you as much -- but if you have Flurrie out, Flurrie will instead tell you that, and that she can blow them away! Such a neat touch. They really thought of everything.

the scene of TEC shutting down … It just has such Drama to it. I didn't get to that part in my last playthrough so I can't compare it mentally but I liked it.

Slight Detour: to defeat Bonetail and save a kid’s dad ! Gotta wait for Frankly anyways right

Anyways! back on track . I forgot to write many notes for the last two chapters Unfortunately. Here’s what I got:

AWESOME SHOOTING TO THE MOON CUTSCENE

if you have Vivian out during the cutscene entering the X Naut fortress she's like "not this place again…" I love how she actually references being there before

LORD CRUMP'S STUPID EVIL LAUGH POSE is so good . I love all the new poses so much and I don't think he had it in the original? But idk . He literally only has it for like. Two seconds. But either they thought it was so important and I respect it.

he sucks up the audience with his .. um. his. why is the vacuum coming out from between Magnus Von Grapple's legs.

The scene of the Thousand Year Door opening was so sick I had to watch it multiple times . The crystal stars look so awesome here, and the presence the door has … The way it cracks and opens to this swirling darkness… Awesome.

We get to finally give Beldam a taste of her medicine, or as Vivian said "it's her turn to get punished" … Sad to see Doopliss get duped in this nonsense. In the tattle log it said Beldam specifically sought him out … Definitely after he ran by them crying after Chapter 4 . Beldam loves targeting people she thinks are weak! How likeable. She is directly called abusive by Goombella in Doopliss' tattle -- not that it isn't obvious but you know, happy to see it called what it is.

There's another puzzle moment where you could use either Koops or Yoshi Kid -- you're expected to use Koops but if you have Yoshi Kid out he'll say as much. So cool. I loooove accounting for multiple solutions.

when Grodus said the world is mine. Well. I had to laugh. Someone show him Miku. Also when he got INCINERATED BY THE SHADOW QUEEN. That moment has always been so funny to me. He's so fucking stupid did he think the demon would actually listen to him. That's what he gets for trying to kill Lord Crump off LMAO. also for what he did to TEC I Guess 🙄

THE HANDS CRAWLING ACROSS THE LAND . LETS GO

The epilogue of Goombella visiting everyone has always been sweet, showing that while direct interactions between everyone weren't really shown, they did become friends -- but they all had their own lives before this. So they take their new inspirations they gained on their adventure with Mario to continue on new paths and all.

PAUSE! welcome to my STORY CRITIQUE SECTION! (Yes, I can criticize my favorite video game of all time. These problems were in the original however so it's not a remake thing.)

Listen we love Goombella threatening Beldam to never hurt Vivian again but Vivian deserved an ending outside of her life with her sisters. Yes, it's in character for her to want a happy ending with them but c'mon. Noone deserves to stick around Beldam. If you asked me I would have changed her ending with her reconciling with Marilyn and Doopliss but not Beldam because those two were also victims of Beldam -- and Doopliss literally replaced her as the scapegoat lmao. They have so much to talk about. I think that's my one critique with Vivian's storyline. Grubba never showed his face again; Beldam didn't have to either.

I can absolutely believe that Grodus ditched the full on evil act though. I mean. He's just a head now. And now he has to have his minions carry him everywhere. Plus getting incinerated at the apex of his World Conquest Plan probably killed off his motivation. He's so pathetic now. Definitely still a bad person but what is he going to do about it. Beldam however suffered no such consequences aside from … I guess getting beat up in the Palace of Shadow once? Which is unfortunate and she doesn't deserve any forgiveness from… Literally anyone. So I don't see why she would ditch being an Asshole -- especially considering unlike Grodus, the shadow queen actually respects Beldam. Beldam should feel more robbed because this was her victory that Mario & Co took from her. But I guess they just wanted to give everyone a happy ending -- I just don't think any ending with Beldam in it is happy for anyone involved.

OK BACK TO SHAMELESS GUSHING!

THE CREDIT SEQUENCE ANIMATIONS ARE SO CUTE!!! THEY MADE THE CREDITS SEQUENCE ALL ANIMATED IN THE REMAKE FOR ME!! IT IS SO . FUCKING GOOD. AND ALL THE IMAGES IN THE BACKGROUND ARE ACTUALLY UNIQUE FROM RHE GAMEPLAY??? THEY HAVE MULTIPLE PARTNERS AND UNIQUE PERSPECTIVES AND HUHHH?? THEY MADE THIS SO COOL??? I need to rewatch it because there's so many segments I love . A complete and total upgrade from the original and so much more in line with the charm from the Original Paper Mario's credit sequence . We loveeee you people who made the remake credit sequence you did this for meeee

THE REDONE PAPER MARIO 64 THEME WHEN YOU TALK TO BOW !!! I love it I listened to it in the music player a bunch … Also her and Bootlers new poses are great.

The Prince Mush fight is actually a perfect extra hard boss that takes advantage of the unique battle mechanics and I absolutely love it. Like, adding an optional boss to the remake that has to be defeated by superguarding is such a great way to put a mechanic not everyone will be using to the forefront, and that naturally makes this boss difficult until you master it. I know I failed several times, but I also had the unsimplifier badge on… Once I took that off I won without even needing to heal. Felt so cool.

The New secret fight in the Pit of Hundred Trials was also really neat ! I think I cheesed it a bit using Vivian's Veil, but the amount of damage he can rack up is crazy . Took out multiple of my partners, but I ultimately beat it the first time without even using my healing items. I still need to find out what trial stew does…

And with that, I had gotten every tattle, recipe, badge, and completed every trouble (my final trouble was removing the graffiti in the Pit of a Hundred trials, did that on the way to that secret fight you get after you had beat the pit once and some other requirements)

In Conclusion: I FUCKING LOVE TTYD !! still can’t believe this is real just reading back through my notes and looking at my screenshots, it feels like a dream. I’m so glad I got to experience this.

[pajulammas]

For the fanfic ask game:

H: How would you describe your style?

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to Impactful Skip. (Really interested how the concept could've gone if Tails didn't do All That)

O: How do you begin a story—with the plot, or the characters?

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

H: How would you describe your style?

Tbh I don't know how to describe writing styles, or at least like... As well as I could describe my drawing style 😭 But uhhh... I guess my writing style is full of imagery, foreshadowing, and I like allegories. And silly jokes. And I'm obsessed with writing dialog. And uhhh... If anyone else would like to explain my writing style to me I'd genuinely love to hear it khdskghdsgl

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to Impactful Skip.

I can't write an alternative ending to the actual ending since that would be SPOILERS but here's an alternate ending to chapter one- I wrote this in like 15 minutes and it's not beta read but I had fun HFLKHFSKLH

It was a… Portal? At least it looked like one. Just at the bottom of the hill, there was a purplish blue, swirling vortex floating in the air. The inside of it resembled a tunnel, but it was unclear where it could even lead to. Several specks that reminded him of stars were swirling around at the entrance. But when he tried to look inside it, it was only filled with bright, blinding light. He circled around the portal, keeping some distance just in case. The other side didn’t make it any clearer where it led to, nor where it had even come from. Sonic huffed and reached to his quills, pulling out his communication device and calling Tails. “What is it? Did Shadow cancel?” Tails asked as he picked up. “Nope! I’m still on my way. I just came across this weird portal thingy, and I think ya should come and check it out,” Sonic explained. “A portal? Where?” Tails replied, sounding surprised. “You know that park close to the city?” Sonic asked, imagining Tails nodding despite not seeing him. “It’s right next to that big hill. Should I step inside?” “NO!” Tails screamed. “Sonic, whatever you do, do NOT touch it! Wormholes are impossible to escape from!” Sonic rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright, I won’t. But we gotta do something about this, I think Egghead’s planning something!” “Definitely, seems pretty serious. I’ll go get Amy and we’ll be on our way,” Tails agreed. Sonic grinned. “I’ll be waiting right here for you guys!” “Don’t you have that date with Shadow?” Tails asked with a hint of both teasing and annoyance in his tone. “Hey, I can’t just leave this big old wormhole here!” “Yes, you can, Amy and I can handle it! Just go on that date, Sonic. Shadow’s not gonna be happy if you just leave him waiting. You know how he is.” “Well, true. But we’ll both come help if it starts getting too serious,” Sonic huffed. “Good luck, buddy!” “You too,” Tails said before hanging up. Sonic glanced at the portal one more time, before dashing away. He ran through the park, finally spotting Shadow in the distance. He sat on a picnic blanket with his arms crossed and gave Sonic an angry glare when he got closer. “I told you not to be late,” he grunted. “I’m not that late, am I?” Sonic shrugged. “You are seven minutes late. That’s a lot for someone who insists they’re the fastest thing alive.” “Whoops,” Sonic chuckled and sat down on the blanket. “I got distracted by a portal. Probably Eggman’s plan or something.” Shadow narrowed his eyes. “The Doctor is here?” “Didn’t see him. But Amy and Tails are gonna handle it,” Sonic hummed as he grabbed a sandwich from Shadow’s picnic basket. “They’ll call us if they need backup.” Shadow nodded, picking up a sandwich for himself as well. “Knowing you, I’m surprised you didn’t stick your nose inside the portal,” Shadow said. Sonic laughed. “I know, buddy. I know.”

O: How do you begin a story—with the plot, or the characters?

(I answered this previously so I'm just copypasting my answer here gdkhlgsdhg) Well, in case of fanfiction, the characters are already there- But even with original characters, I always start with the story, or at least the premise. The characters do affect the story and vice versa, but I personally feel like it's easier to first build the world, then the story, and then put the characters in their roles! Especially if it's an AU, such as Prophecy of Chaos or Chivalrous Devotion.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I LOVE collabs!! I wanna do more of them :3 I like collabs where someone else illustrates my writing. I do also like bigger collabs, like making AUs together. Prophecy of Chaos is a collaboration between me and @tillytilli after all! But I feel like I can only do big collabs like that with close friends, since those are a lot of work and I'm VERY timid XD

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Hurt/comfort is always so good, I can never get enough. And angst. I also love historical AUs and medieval fantasy AUs. Also anything to do with monsters is so good. Teehee.

FanFic Ask Game

[adri-todo1]

Romance Club head canons/actual canons I think about a lot Part four

Shadows of Saintfour

Luke looks like Leonardo DiCaprio when DiCaprio was younger./canon, come on people we all see it.

Aaron and Sarah have a ten year age gap./canon

Michael would help Sarah with tattoo aftercare when they moved to Baltimore./headcanon

Derek's parents died by the same murderer, The Masked Man./canon

John Hall hates 80's music./canon

Although Adele was mean to Sarah at times, she didn't deserve to lose her parents nor her brother(depends on gameplay) in that house fire./not a headcanon but my own opinion

Cherry definitely tried to do his own piercings before either Ethan, Aaron or Sarah interrupted him./headcanon

Many fans overlooked the fact that Luke drugged Sarah./canon

Annette was only dating the Masked Man for his looks once he wasn't appealing to the eyes anymore, she dumped him./canon

Annette killed her mother when she was a child leaving her and William orphaned. It is unclear whether their mother did ask for the herbs, Annette shouldn't have given them to her in the first place since she and William were just children./canon but partial opinion

If Aaron and Sarah had gotten together after the whole battle with the Masked Man. They would have had kids and Aaron would have an excuse to make the corniest dad jokes ever./headcanon from a character.ai bot

Mrs O'Neil and Sheriff Nixon deserved a better ending./canon, absolutely loved this small ship despite it's short lived time.

The janitor is implied to have mental issues due to certain dialogue in season one./canon

The Holy Four, Candy, Derek, Bobby and Sarah remind me of Stranger things for some reason./headcanon

The Forester looks like William H. Macy or as some of you may know him as 'Frank Gallagher' on the show Shameless./canon and I know those who have read it and saw Shameless see it too.

The writer got the Pisadeira character from the Brazilian folklore./canon

Elite Tag

Adrian should have gotten an ass whooping plus the jail time./headcanon but a girl can dream

Ricky deserved better than Lennox and should have been with Jake instead./canon and headcanon

Karl is a sub, we all know this./canon, for my Karl romancers

Ulan should have been a casual love interest too./headcanon but I wanted this

Ricky hears things he doesn't wanna hear when his mom and Mr Stewart are getting 'busy'./somewhat a mix of headcanon and canon

Technically Vera founded Elite Tag since her inheritance money was spent on it./canon

Daniel looked good with his short dreads in season three./headcanon but canon to some

Erik and Mikayla would have been good friends with Vera if they weren't so competitive for money./headcanon

The masked guard we had to bribe for Adrian's information could have been a character worth expanding on especially if he could have helped with the whole kidnapping scene with Nicky./headcanon.

Granny Maple probably beats people in Poker./headcanon

Sledge and Corvo were a toxic couple./headcanon

Dita's real name is Aphrodite./canon

Now for some other interesting headcanons since I've only read a total of fourteen books on Romance club:

The stories written in Romance Club are all connected as revealed in Rage of the Titans when Cronos revealed the multiverse to Artemis/Andrea.

Onyx and Chand have similar features.

Cyril from Heart of Trespia is implied to be gay and may have had a crush on Reinhold at some point.

If Alaric weren't a literal women abuser, he would have had a good redemption arc and a chance to be Ellaire's love interest as well

One and Ai Ling definitely had more kids.

Osmont's death made me cry.

Lucifer, Hodge and Vlad would get along./yea I was inspired by that one Pinterest pic of the three of them showing their tattoos.

Some of the Romance Club players may have played Baldur's Gate 3, Hogwarts Legacy, Hogwarts Mystery and so forth so here are my predictions of who could be related to who.

Diego Caplan from Hogwarts Mystery is Lori's ancestor

Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3 might be a friend or a relative of Liod

Cazador from Baldur's Gate 3 and Azal'Alor.

Chiara Lobosca from Hogwarts Mystery and Max Fall

Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3 and Astaroth along with his brother, Christopher could be related

Zayne from Love and Deepspace could be related to John Roberts

Ominis Gaunt and Nova could be relatives

Bi-Han and Kuai Liang of MK1/MK11 might be related to Jamie Zhao and Shen

Hanzo Hasashi from MK11 may not be related to but is a close family friend of Nikkal

Shang Tsung from MK11 and MK1 are related to Takao

My Indian Hogwarts Mystery MC Adrianna Basu is related to Amala Basu as Amala's cousin

Same goes to my Hogwarts Legacy MC Adrija Sharma is Deviya Sharma's future daughter/granddaughter

Kenshi Takahashi from MK1 is related to Mei

Asra from the Arcana and Selena could have been related.

Sindel, Mileena and Kitana from MK1 could have been related to the Basu family with Radha and Saraswati being the cousins who were banished due to being more involved with the Influential Dozen.

Tanya from MK1 and Gisella could be friends or cousins since we know nothing of either's parents/relatives.

Amit Thakkar and Ari Jakhar could be related.

Sindel and Vidya have a few things in common. They're both single, widowed mothers of two daughters. One daughter in blue and the other in pink ish purple. They're both queens and they could honestly be seen drinking fine wine from either Edenia or Calcutta's finest winery.

Sylus from Love and Deepspace and Pierce/Lapetus could get along.

Small Author's Note:

That's all for today my friends, hopefully I will be able to show you my story, Dark Secrets of Duskwood on Wattpad in the next post

[zjofierose]

tagged by the ever-lovely @kianspo, thank you, darling 😘

rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

so, the formatting of this makes the instructions a little unclear, but i’ve chosen to interpret it (and provide answers) as follows:

1: fic with the most hits: Holding Your Own Weight (Teen Wolf, Sterek), at 44,615 hits. because of course it is, LOL. i have not reread this in years, i have no idea how it holds up, but it’s definitely the most popular thing i’ve ever written.

2: fic with the second most kudos: Well I Don’t Know Why I Came Here Tonight (Teen Wolf, Sterek), with 1,244 kudos. honestly, i’m not surprised it’s a TW fic (i may end up a little surprised if not all of these are TW fics, tbh, that fandom was and is so huge it skews all my results), but i am a bit surprised it’s this fic! this one’s from 2021, which was well after the TW heyday, so i was always surprised it got as much traction as it did.

3: fic with the third most comments: Like They Do In Babylon (Voltron, Sheith), with 91 comment threads. oh ho! a non-teen-wolf fic makes it onto the list!! (technically Holding Your Own Weight also has 91 comment threads, but we already used it, so whatever). this one’s interesting to me, because i felt like it really kinda flopped when i posted it if i’m honest? but i guess the people who did read it left comments on it, so that’s nice. i liked this one, i should write more dance AUs.

4: fic with the fourth most bookmarks: Well I Don’t Know Why I Came Here Tonight again, lol whoops. 248 bookmarks.

5: fic with the fifth most words: Spark, Flame, Burn (Teen Wolf, Sterek), but excitingly, this is my most diverse list yet - i’ve got four different fandoms represented in my five longest fics, so in this case it’s just coincidence that it’s a TW fic. and actually, once i finally finish my accursed post-posting edits, it’ll be Flowers in the Window (1D RPF) instead.

6: fic with the fewest words: Circulation, a very early Star Trek RPF fic, which is quite frankly terrible LOL idk what the hell i was doing. pour one out for zjo of 2010 who was just discovering the concept of fanfic, bless. 393 words.

tagging @sequencefairy @onlythebravest @zanniscaramouche @commodorecliche @semperama @homosociallyyours and @lululawrence

[sun-lit-roses]

Thor’s Hammer

I have not forgotten about Stargate! I’m just really slow 😂 But I’m so ready to see our heroes once more and (hopefully) a new planet! Season 1, Episode 10, let’s go:

Oh boy, report time!(sarcasm) Jack looks like he has my level of enthusiasm.

Ooo more aliens!

WHAT is with the pictures being used for illustration 😂 Yes, we’re talking about Thor, so here’s some 90s sci-fi book covers to prove our point.

Teal’c with the insider knowledge for the win!

This sounds ominous.

Daniel is so eager - got his friendship box and just leaving the rest of the team behind lol

I’m unclear why the people at the gate are laughing? Their exit wasn’t that funny.

Um, team? Now might be the time to get away from the humming giant hammer.

A scanner?

No! Teal’c!

Whoops, there goes Jack too!

Why did everyone run away? Shouldn’t they be less afraid after the magic scanning hammer?

Wow, Daniel, just ‘they’re dead’?? That’s a leap 😲

Ah, they ran to get their leader.

“You’re a little short for gods.” Aw, I like her.

Sam On A Mission.

Not dead, yay! It would be hard to keep going with a show that just killed off half their main cast.

Ugh. Could have done without the Junior Check.

Did Thor just beam in?

Wait, is this a voice mail?

Yeah, that’s not a person.

Wait, I thought the hammer was at the stargate? How many hammers are there?

‘Hall of Mohair’ Okay, that’s pretty good and now all I can think of is a cavern lined with records and ‘70s outfits. And a giant hammer.

Wait, what are the hand thingys? Have we seen those before? I don’t remember them? It has been a while since I watched this show.

Didn’t even say thank you! How rude.

Ooo former Goa’uld, got it. Oh, that’s what the second hammer does! Not great news for Teal’c, though.

Hey, that’s right! They can just run all the Goa’uld through the hammer like an assembly line. Problem solved!

What the heck is that?! Some form of alien crocodile?

Those horns don’t look very efficient for drinking tbh

That’s a convenient thunderstorm for omens.

The cave broke the fire stick?!? Truly this is a terrible day.

Teal’c’s onboard with the Goa’uld Assembly Line Plan, too. Good, I think he has the most common sense out of our intrepid quartet.

I’m getting the sense that Sam is not the diplomat here 😂

Well, that’s good news! At least one host survived and connived her way out.

Good thing they came on a day with a thunderstorm.

Is that the Creature From the Black Lagoon?

“Weapons are of no use here.” Jack promptly fills him with lead. Nice.

What is The First One? First of what? First Goa’uld?

Ooo, guess lead is not a successful deterrent.

Vampire Goa’uld! A concept I did not know I needed, but am very happy to have. Imagine if this is what Dracula looked like, but Jonathan thought he had a skin condition and it would be Rude to comment about it, especially since he was a Client.

Of course Teal’c, you also thought the Vampire Goa’uld did not exist... gotta say this conversation is not super comforting, guys. Although the little beat before Teal’c says ‘I think’ was hilarious. Also Jack’s quip about putting a stake through it’s heart.

Aw, Daniel is so sweet on his wife. I hope she does show back up. And gets some lines.

Yeah, I’m going with he’s not dead, guys. Should have tried the stake.

That’s a really cool dam scene! Aquifer? Something with water. It’s a neat set piece.

Sam and Daniel arguing feels like a disturbance in the force.

Weapons can’t kill him, but they sure do slow him down.

Team Science Nerds found it!!

Hm, this looks like a pretty official cave room. Sadly no mohair records, though.

Did Jack forget about the second hammer thing?

AH

Okay, found the second hammer thing. Poor Teal’c.

I’m so glad Space Vampire gets a villain monologue. I feel like we don’t get those in shows anymore.

Come on,shoot him just a little further into the painful red hammer thing!

No! Teal’c!

Ah, Jack to the rescue.

Team: 1. Space Vampires: 0.

Not that this family moment isn’t sweet, but couldn’t they just knock a hole in a cave wall or something and patch it up once everyone’s out? Like there’s no time limit with the Goa’uld Vampire gone, they could go back to Earth for help and explosives.

Poor Daniel.

Did they just leave this world unprotected?

Okay, at least they’re thinking about this as well.

And Daniel gets to share his box! He’s so excited.

Rating: 🔘🔘🔘🔘

4/5 Gates New planet, potential for new aliens (possibly coming back in the future if the thundercloud is to be believed and Thor gets Daniel’s box?), Space Vampire, learned some more lore, what more could I ask for? The cave did take the fire stick out of commission, which is just a crime, in my opinion. Also, I think I’m holding out on 5/5 gates for something truly status quo changing. But overall a really good episode, I enjoyed it!

[blueikeproductions]

-Snappy Snack/7-11 combo, the night of the homecoming party-

JD: -sucking away at his slushee- Ahh, who needs some obnoxious jock party free for all when you can just freeze your brain, right Danny-Boy?

-Dan is just swirling his Cherry Coke slushee with his straw looking deep in thought-

JD: -frowns- You’re still thinking about Dumptruck, ain’tcha?

Dan: I hope she’s gonna be ok. I know the Getalong Gang set her up to fall with that note… -swirls more anxiously-

JD: -Thinks for a moment about his earlier conversion with Veronica while Dan was getting their drinks- Mmmn. -narrows eyes thinking about an impatient Heather Chandler yanking the surprised but annoyed Veronica out of the store- -Sighs- …Well as far as I’m concerned Miz Sawyer and Miz Dumptruck made their bed and they can sleep in it. -briefly pictures a stripped down to her bra and underwear Veronica cuddling with a similarly stripped down Martha like a body pillow in bed and is wondering what that says about himself…-

Dan: Dunnstock. -swirls a little slower-

JD: -sips and looks a little embarrassed- …Oh is THAT how you pronounce it? …I’m gonna have to redo that letter of recommendation lest they give Honor Roll to the wrong Martha.

-Both boys get a mild laugh out of that-

Dan: I tried to warn Martha though, but she wanted to see Ram so badly…

JD: -pats Dan’s back- Ah I’m sure Mizz Dumpstock’ll be fine. She’s uh… how do I say this politely… -ahem- got a VERY thick skin.

Dan: -doesn’t look convinced, but knows JD is trying and nods in agreement. He looks out the store window looking at the faint light show from Ram’s house in the distance-

-Ram’s house, music blaring, toilet paper strewn all over the house and trees, teens doing what stereotypical 80’s movie teens do everywhere-

-Veronica is enjoying a good buzz from her first hit of… whatever it was Green and Red Heather offered her-

-Kurt’s running around shirtless with two beers in hand, whooping and hollering like a guy at a college frat party, helping keep the party alive and crazy, as Thrash smashes a can on his head and joins Kurt in the hootenanny. Throttle just rolls his eyes and goes back to talking to a starry eyed Cheryl Rodgers while a jealous Betty Finn watches nearby. Tracey is laughing maniacally, carrying more TP outside with some other kids, Specs is chatting about Yattodetaman to a bored out of her gourd random girl, but Gold Heather, walking by with more Jell-O shots for the other Heathers and Veronica, looks genuinely interested.-

-Ram is by the coolers, nursing a Budweiser, and watching Kurt… being Kurt with the other assorted party goers, and can’t help but feel a sense of attraction and arousal. He smiles warmly and is blushing hard, how much of this is his inner gay attraction or the other Budweisers he’s already had is a bit unclear. This stops the moment Ram sees Martha come in carrying something, and he spits out his drink in shock.-

Martha: -waddles up to the stunned jock, smiling cheerfully- Hi Ram~!

Ram: -coughs hard, clears throat- M-Martha?!

Veronica: -still a little zoned, but sobers up more the moment she sees Martha- Oh no… She actually came… I gotta… -Takes a step towards Ram and Martha, but feels a hand gripping her arm-

Red Heather grins evilly, holding Veronica in place, with Green sharing the dark glee while Gold instead shares Veronica’s concern: Ah-Ah-Ah, Sawyer, let’s see how this plays out. Why it could even be… -all three girls in unison- scandalous, hahaha~!

Gold Heather: Showing up took some guts thou-

Green Heather interrupts her: But now’s the time to rip ‘em out! Right, Heather~?

Red Heather: Shaddup, Heather!

Green Heather: S-sorry, Heather…

Veronica: -glares at Red, but knows her hands are tied and just watches Martha and Ram despondently-

Ram: Wh-what are you doing here, Martha…? I can’t believe you actually… came…

Martha: Uh huh! And I brought Sparkling Cider~! -Proudly displays the comically large bottle she’s been carrying around-

Ram: -stunned but kinda playfully amused at her earnestness- Heh, yeah, look at that…! -finger guns hesitantly- But WHY are you here, this isn’t usually your thing…

Martha: Well… -blushing, shuffles in her pocket and pulls out the note- I wasn’t gonna come, but since you took the time to write this sweet note…~!

Ram: Note…? What note? -takes the paper and reads it in visible confusion- -He notices the ink is the same kind of blue gel pen Veronica uses, and side eyes a panicking, but restrained by Heathers, Veronica mouthing “Please no.” over and over nearby. He glances back at Martha, who’s just blushing and beaming, and his face scrunches in pained awkwardness realizing what’s happening.-

Ram: Oh right…. The note! The note I wrote. Me, myself and I. Yessire. Oy… -clears throat and hands the note back- All the, uh, party planning, and I just… -mumbles- forgot.

Martha: That’s ok~! (Ram: …It is?) I know the football star’s got a lot on his plate, but just the fact he took time out of his busy schedule to write me…! -looks dreamy eyed- It’s just like old times! It’s exciting, right~? -takes Ram’s hand absent mindedly-

Ram: Y-yeah… Mondo exciting… -blushing, knowing what she means, the days of their note passing in kindergarten and elementary school, his held, broad hand twitching a little in her softer, plumper, smaller hand, hesitating on whether to clasp it back-

Red Heather looks irritated her scheme seems to have backfired; Veronica sighs in relief and looks smug but genuinely surprised Ram is apparently playing along. Maybe Ram still harbors old feelings for Martha after all…?

-And then a shirtless, half drunk Thrash walks up to the two awkward teens-

Veronica: Oh no…

Red Heather: -says in deep voice like the Kool-Aid Man only more sinister- Oh yeah~!

Thrash: -gets Ram in a headlock- Great party, Sweeney! Just like I’d expect from my protégé! You’ve learned well!

Ram: -gags in confusion, pats on Thrash’s bulging bicep to let go-

Thrash: -lets go but only because he’s distracted by Martha- Hey what’s that swine Dumptruck doing here? Didn’t you see the sign? No fat chicks! Tell her, Sweeney! It’s your rule!

Martha’s beam starts to fade: W-what?

Ram: -pathetically attempting to stick up for her- Hey, she… I… I invited…he-

Thrash: -not listening, yanks the cider bottle out of Martha’s hands- Oh I get it, she brought a peace offering. -pops off the cork and takes a swig, grimaces and spits it out all over Martha- You dumb cow! There’s no alcohol in here! -smashes the bottle against her feet, splashing her even more- Are you trying to POISON me and mah boy here? -slaps a despondent Ram on the chest- -Leans into Martha’s face looking angry- Now beat it.

Martha: -drenched and shocked starts to break down and cry, she turns and runs, slips and belly flops in the ground, causing some of the guests who’d been watching the display to bust out laughing, the Heathers included naturally. Veronica just looks defeated, shooting Thrash and Ram a disapproving, tired look. Ram attempts to help Martha, but she slaps his hand away in anger, gets up and stumbles out, crying harder.-

Ram: -just stands there looking ashamed and conflicted as Thrash shoves a Miller in his hands- Crack open another case, bro! That land whale party crasher’s outta here! Hmm, who should we throw out next? Im pretty sure that dork in the 3D glasses snuck in here… -snaps fingers- Yo Kurt! Crasher in 3D, 12 o’clock! (Kurt: -looks up from trying to kiss an uninterested Cheryl- Wuhat?)

Ram: -growls, shakes the beer can, opens and sprays it all over a laughing Thrash, who unlike Martha is actually enjoying it. Ram, not getting the desired affect, stomps off in a huff-

A drenched Thrash stops laughing and looks confused: Hey where are you going, Super Star?

Ram: -shoots a cold look back, briefly thinking back to when JD leapt out of nowhere and punched him and Kurt over teasing Dan and looks confused and angrier- Leave me alone. -goes outside-

Throttle: -walks up- What was that about, Terrance?

Thrash: -has suspicions but shrugs it off- Ah Sweeney’s pry just wondering how he’s gonna clean all this up before his ‘rents come back. -pulls out another beer and swigs- Aaah, poor bastard.