#uncle hort

[pahatarcarabosse]

Asked folks at the sub to give me characters to draw cuz iv been suffering from drought. It was a blast. More excuses to draw POSY asdasdgd

Rip Uncle Hort

[xfilesinamajor]

I know it’s “own cohort.” But the Uncle Hort mishearing is so damn funny to me. Because every time, this is all I can think of:

[ithacanfountain]

tgis is my joke epic oc (hort)ius he is ody's uncle and ody sacrificed him idfk 💯💯💯💯

[supernova3space]

"Elpenor!"

"He sacrificed his Uncle Hort!"

"Didn't even try TEQUILA!"

I can't with this man. I can't. I'm dying.

[somecheeseguy]

Follow up to my last post, we know Hort was sacrificed by Odysseus, therefore he is either one of the six that was eaten by Scylla or killed by Zeus, either way, he deserved better.

Also I'd like to believe that he was the awesome kind of uncle which is why Hephaestus is so mad at Odysseus for his death

[dynasty889]

Yall why is everyone using the word ‘cohort’ right now?

[ramen8008]

HE ALSO SACRIFICED UNCLE HORT 😭😭

ONE THING I ABSOLUTELY HATE ABT ODYSSEUS IN EPIC IS HOW HE DIDNT FVCKING TRY TEQUILA😭😭😭

[witless-winion1]

A week or two after Ithaca saga

Odysseus: (eating lunch with his wife and son) -get it?! I responded to his rhetorical question with a literal answer-

Penelope: (nodding along, unfazed)

Telemachus: ….(nervously sips drink) (chokes and spits it out)

Odysseus: My boy, are you alright?

Telemachus: Yeah- uh, just, what kind of wine is this?

Penelope: (tastes her cup, hums) interesting. It doesn’t look like wine, either…

Odysseus: (frowns and smells it) ….what is this..?

Telemachus: (looks into ‘wine’ pitcher) ….father?

Meanwhile, up in Olympus:

Ares: (giggling) he’s finally trying it-

[inhumanliquid]

Singing God Games is great wake people up lol

[anachronic-cobra]

Oh just break my heart huh

As promised, I brought my take on Trojan war Polites but it turned out a bit uhhhhhh dark. Blood tw and generally sad things, enjoy! *goes to bawl my eyes out in a corner*

○○○

I had the idea that as a child/teen Polites really loved animals and their death made him sad, but Odysseus and Eurylochus often went hunting so he accompanied them, not really thrilled about it

Since Ody said it's alright to hunt, Polites changed his mindset with time,, it kind of stuck with him during the war; while fighting humans he would see birds instead just to block out the reality that horrified him

(I tried to make him look a bit younger here than usual)

Probably he would have nightmares about it, now with actual birds (?)

And despite being sick and tired himself, Polites would still take care of others, especially Perimedes (idk in my headcanons he is the youngest one since we don't have any official ages ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(•-•)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

Also a version with glasses! Idk why the one above seemed more natural, but I just can't leave him without them :'D

[my-lovely-hyperfixation]

Misheard lyrics I can no longer listen to the same:

"Well done, you LIED to me, what's your name?" Great job, you're a LIAR! - Warrior of the Mind "Athena!!! Badass Señorita~" - Warrior of the Mind "When... does a cabbage become a meteor? When does a cabbage become a blaze?" - Just a Man "He didn't even fight Scylla, didn't even TRY tequila!!!" - God Games "He sacrificed his Uncle Hort!" - God Games

[missdarhk]

(sorry it took me so long to respond to this 💀)

YEAH I was so addicted to it but then it got banned and it just. lost its spark. the spell was broken. tumblr just has more cool stuff

WAIT I KINDA LOVE THAT FOR PHYSICS TEACHER ARES. slightly sad now that we changed his profession (but I feel like the new one is just very him) bc that's SO CUTE. and it makes so much sense too bc as the younger brother he admired her so much growing up. see now I also want to see florist aphrodite. actually give me an ares/aphrodite au where she's a florist and he's a teacher. that's so cute. ALAS I think I can say it bc it's not like it's a big spoiler or anything, we decided to make her a model. but. the first thing kai said:

YEAH NO YOUR FIC TOOK ME OUT OF ORBIT I WILL BE SENDING YOU MY THERAPY BILLS. NOT FUN NOT HEHE. STOP TORTURING THE OWL 😭😭😭 SHE DESERVES THE WORLD

telemachus as always, the only one with a functioning braincell even amongst the literal goddess of wisdom and her warrior of the mind. they're such losers I love them

hellooo

(to be clear im the one commenter talking about ares and ody pranking poseidon in ur au)

wanted to re-emphasize how good ur fic is, also wanted to interact w more people obsessed with epic bc epic is like half my life atm (the hyperfixation is real...)

anyways re ur post about english, that's honestly so valid, and im a native english speaker

in 9th grade we had to do an entire unit on how to use an apostrophe. in an english-speaking school in an english-speaking country. in a class of native english speakers.

english is such a silly (/neg) language tbh i've seen native speakers with absolutely atrocious grammar and spelling

anyways enjoy these two of my favorite images demonstrating why english is so absurd...

and there was going to be this other image but i was rereading it and noticed that there was this one sentence that was actually really offensive so im going to type out the ones that arent lol

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

And finally, read and lead rhyme, and so do read and led. But read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and read.

(For bonus pronunciation shenanigans, look up The Chaos by G. Nolst Trenite. For bonus definition shenanigans, look up contronyms. Dust means to remove the dust from and to sprinkle with a powder or dust.)

hi!!! (big fan of the pranking idea)

thank you, you're so sweet! and I GET IT. epic has consumed all of my thoughts, it's in everything I see now. I CANT WAIT for the Ithaca saga but also am I ready? I don't know. I'm ready. but ready for it to be over? 😭😭 very exciting though

BOO ENGLISH. INTERNET SLANGS ARE COOLER. so many little things trip me over. I never know when to use "in" or "on". the other day I was wondering why you say "laun dree" instead of "laun dry". it's always the most random stuff lmao, that image is so true all the struggles are real

mila.exehasstoppedworking you kind of broke my brain in the last ones. I only had a singular braincell left 😭😭😭

[burry-penguin]

THIS WHOLE TIME I THOUGHT THE LINE WAS

‘He sacrificed his Uncle Hort!’

HDHDBJANANDNSNSNSN

[hannahhook7744]

The Hook Family in my au (including their 'partners', pets, and next gen) Moodboards (Part 2);

Present:

Alala Hook.

Second (murderous) wife of Captain James Hook.

Bio mom of Hope Hook; adoptive mom of Hort and Hookling Hook. Stepmother of Peter Pan, Harriet Hook, Harry Hook, Calista Jane Hook, and Ally Liddell (she was adopted by Alice and Pinocchio in this).

She doesn't work.

No one is quite sure how old she is because she's a siren.

Harriet Teuta Hook.

Future Wife of Anthony Tremaine-Lathyn.

Future Mother of Annalise Tremaine-Lathyn-Hook, Thomas 'Tommy' Tremaine-Lathyn-Hook, and Katherine 'Katie' Tremaine-Lathyn-Hook.

She is the captain of the Queen's Fury, a member of Diego's band—The Bad Apples, and a worker at Hook's inlet and Shack as well as at Hook's Clock & Curiosity Shop.

She's 18 going on 19 years old (in d1).

Ginevra 'Ginny' Flower (ironic given she's allergic to them) Gothel.

Future Wife of Clay Clayton.

Future Mother of Gabe, Tim, Connie, and May Clayton.

She plays the tambourine and harmonica (and sings a bit) in Diego's band—The Bad Apples—and is the chefmate in Harriet Hook's crew. She also works sporadically at Hook's inlet and Shack, Hook's Clock & Curiosity Shop, and Mother Gothel's Healing Emporium (she also featured briefly in 'Skin Deep With Mother Gothel' and hated every minute of it).

She's 18 going on 19 years old (in d1).

Peter Pan.

Future Husband of Moira Banning.

Future Father of Maggie and Jack Banning.

Leader of the lost children of Neverland.

He's twelve going on thirteen physically and mentally (in d1-d3).

Harrison 'Harry' Alistair Hook.

Future Husband of Uma Athanasiou, Gil LeGume, Chad Charming, and Audrey Rose.

Future Father of Mordermore, Konstantinos, Manon, and Vassilis Rose-Athanasiou (they spun a wheel to decide the last name).

First Mate of the Lost Revenge (Forever), Worker at Auradon Prep (Formerly), and Worker at Hook's inlet and Shack & Hook's (Formerly) & Clock & Curiosity Shop (Formerly). Founder of the scammers and pickpockets club.

He's fifteen going on sixteen (in d1).

Calista 'C.J' Jane Hook. 

Future Wife of Freddie Facilier and Zevon Sorcerer of Enchancia.

Future Mother of Carter Zoran Hook.

Worker at Hook's inlet and Shack & Hook's & Clock & Curiosity Shop. Future Owner of Great Grandmumsie Hook's/Bluebeard's ship—The Avenger.

She's thirteen going on fourteen (in d1).

Allison 'Ally' Ludovica Collodi-Rossi-Liddell/Adelais Zaria Hook II.

Future Wife of Jordan Ayad.

Future Mother of Malik Ayad-Liddell.

Caterer at Mad For Tea, Leader of an Acapella Group, and Future Private Detective.

She's thirteen going on fourteen (in d1) and is Cj's long lost twin (who was adopted by Alice and Pinocchio Collodi-Rossi-Liddell).

Hannah Artemis Hook/Xena Mechthildis Quenby Villa Princeps-Guarder.

Future Wife of Haul Bjorgman.

Future Mother of Metta, Everett, and Ashton.

Captain of The Stormbringer (Forever), Writer (Forever), BDA Detective in Training (Former), and Worker at Hook's inlet and Shack & Hook's & Clock & Curiosity Shop.

She's twelve going on thirteen (in d1) and is adopted.

Hookling Holden Hook.

Adopted son of Alala and James Hook.

Future Owner of Hook's Clock & Curiosity Shop, as well as his uncle Jasper Hook's ship—the Rake.

He's three (in d1) but isn't adopted until the barrier is brought down when he's five (in d3).

Horton 'Hort' Cannon Hook.

Adopted son of Alala and James Hook.

May or may not be the Future Husband of Sophie Witcher (still deciding).

Future Owner of the Serpent's Cry (Grandma Hook's Ship) and Teacher at Serprent Prep.

He's one (in d1) but isn't adopted until the barrier is brought down when he's three (in d3).

Hope Aegea Hook.

Daughter of Alala and James Hook.

Siren and Future Owner of Hook's inlet and Shack & The Jolly Roger.

She is born in d2.

[imissmywife0]

How dare you not try tequila! Also, you sacrificed your Uncle Hort!!!/ref (kinda)

I have tried tequila. It is ok

[cornbread-but-cringey]

things we know about uncle hort:

was sacrificed

failed to listen

was betrayed and then imprisoned

can still build a future with those who miss him (if hephaestus makes the right descision)

uses he/they pronouns?