#um. it is not I need more Shannon sorry

[bookwyrminspiration]

OKAY!! figured out the crux of my earlier post the thing I’m getting hung up on is “she gave him this whole speech about how the Council supposedly took away a tremendous source of power” (Stellarlune, 301) power can mean SO many things what tf kinda power are we talking about is this. like electricity. is it like a prime source. is it mental?? is it the source of elves powers is it literally the source of power for them?? We r throwing around the words power source but what does it MEAN how are we defining power

until I know—which very well may be answered in book 10! I know there’s more coming—I think this book will always perplex me a little

[eddiestightywhities]

also on ao3 HERE

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“So, I overheard this guy in the line at the coffee shop this morning talking about name meanings—”

“Of course you did,” Eddie interjects, not unkindly.

Buck turned up with beers about a half hour ago, and has had his head in his phone for the last, what, twenty minutes? Something like that.

This is the first thing he's said since Eddie let him in and he sat his ass down on the couch in silence, looking like he needed Eddie to just allow him to.

Eddie did.

“—and I thought I'd look up ours.”

He's chewing on his bottom lip like it tastes good.

Eddie surprises himself by wondering if it does.

“I'm guessing you already know what Christopher means.”

Thinking back to when Shannon asked if he liked the name, Eddie smiles.

“Means 'Bearer of Christ', or something, right? We chose it because was Shannon's grandfather's name, though. He was Greek, and she adored him.”

Searching fingers instinctively find his pendant. It's positioned to the left, sitting right over his heart.

He misses his son like he'd miss a lung.

Buck looks up at him and smiles back, and Eddie feels glad the release he'd found dancing 'round his living room earlier isn't going to suddenly disappear down the bathroom sinkhole, along with his moustache.

“So, tell me, what does Edmundo mean, oh scholarly one?”

Buck's eyebrows try to meet his hairline.

“You don't know?”

Eddie tips his head back against the couch and scrunches his mouth up into nose.

“I have sisters, man, of course I know what it means. But that doesn't mean I don't want you to tell me.”

Buck seems somewhat happy with that.

“Well, it's a derivative of the Old English name Edmund, which is a combination of the words ēad and mund. The first part means prosperity, or riches, which is a bit of a bust, sorry man,” and he tries for a grin. It almost hits.

“But the the mund part means protector—which is pretty spot on, I reckon.”

Buck's eyelashes are kind of blonde, and kind of pretty. Eddie's thought it before, but there's just something about them in this light, in Eddie's house, on Eddie's couch.

“It's actually a real pretty name, Edmundo. Don't know if I've ever told you I think that.”

“Don't think I've ever told you your eyelashes are kind of pretty, so that makes us even, I guess.”

Eddie smiles at Buck, big and genuine, and somehow it's so easy.

Buck smiles back. Looks a little confused, or pleased, or both. Eddie's not sure, but either is okay with him.

“Um, thanks?”

Eddie bites his tongue between his teeth in a poor effort to stop his grin turning positively goofy.

Buck takes it for what it is, and bats his eyelashes at Eddie, silly, and laughs.

His whole demeanor then changes as he finally settles properly into the couch and gifts his lungs with what might be the first proper breath he's taken since he arrived.

“Anyway, Evan is the worst of the three. It means yew, like the tree? Which is—it symbolises, like, spirituality, and rebirth and shit like that. 'S not really, uh, me, you know?”

“You mean like Evan isn't really you?”

Buck bites at his red, red lip again.

Eddie decides it'd taste like cherry Chupa Chups.

“Yeah. But it's—my name.”

“Except it isn't though, it's it?” Eddie reminds him. “You're name is Buck, Buck. You decided that.”

“I don't know why he always insisted on calling me Evan. Or why I just—let him. It was kind of weird.”

Tommy.

"Called? Past tense?” Eddie flips his tongue in his mouth. Breathes a little more deliberately.

Buck looks at his phone again before he's slowly placing it down on the couch between them.

His fingers are touching the outside of Eddie's thigh, and Eddie's suddenly acutely aware that he still isn't wearing any pants.

Buck leaves his hand where it is.

“He, uh, he dumped me. Because I—”

Buck sucks in oxygen, a lot of it, and holds it in his lungs before puffing out his cheeks as he makes a show of blowing it back out again.

“I asked him to move in with me.”

Eddie was not expecting either of those statements.

"Ouch.”

Buck's fingers twitch against Eddie's skin, and Eddie feels it travel right down his leg and into his toes, which curl involuntarily into the carpet.

“You wanna talk about it?” he offers, kind of knowing Buck doesn't. He will when he's ready.

“Not really.”

Eddie licks at his lips. They taste like beer, and a little like confidence.

“How about Buck?”

Buck looks at him, perplexed.

Eddie's leg is starting to cramp a bit.

He doesn't move it.

“A Buck is another name for a stag, right?” he continues. “And the stag symbolises strength and purity—

“Don't forget fertility” Buck is looking at Eddie, and it feels like something.

Eddie snorts. “'Course, don't wanna forget fertility.”

Buck smiles the first proper Buck smile of the evening, and Eddie's feels it in his chest.

“Hey, hang on, how come you know so much about stags, Edmundo?”

“You did that project with Chris about the forest.”

Buck blinks at him.

“Dude that was, like, years ago. And, as you said, I was the one learning all about the woodland creatures and different types berries and toadstools, so how do you—”

“Because you told me,” Eddie shrugs a shoulder.

Buck blinks some more.

“And you—remembered that?” he asks.

In this moment, Eddie couldn't blink, nor look away from Buck, even if somebody were to pay him.

“I remember everything you tell me.”

It's weird but it's like the air itself is crackling as they sit here, just staring at each other.

They look at each other for what feels like a long time. Or maybe it's just a single heartbeat, Eddie can't really be sure.

He watches as Buck swallows, his Adam's apple a calling card.

Eddie isn't entirely sure of why he thinks of that.

Until he is.

When Buck moves his hand, it's to slide it fully onto Eddie's thigh to just sit there, right at home.

Eddie's suddenly blinking so much he's a little worried he might be stroking.

He doesn't mean to say, “Can you smell toast?” but finds himself saying it anyway.

Buck smile is both crooked and adorable.

“You worried you're having a stroke, old man?”

“We'd have been at the same school at the same time, Buck. I'm not that much older than you.”

“You are old and I am young and everyone and the universe knows this,” Buck claims, cocky and sure of himself once more.

Eddie licks at his lips again.

“I, uh, I think I finally believe you.”

Buck now mirrors him, licking his own lips.

Cherry Chupa Chups.

“You mean about the universe?” he's asking, like he doesn't almost always knew what Eddie means.

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes.

Buck waits.

Just as Eddie is thinking he really should go put some on some sweats or something, Buck must get impatient because he replies, “I think it always wanted you to believe.”

Eddie doesn't have a clue what time it is, or whether he had dinner or not, or how he got so damn lucky.

“I'm gonna choose to believe, because you believe—and I believe in you, Buck” he says, somehow both sure and unsure of absolutely everything that is to come.

At long last, he finds he is totally okay with that.

“Anyways, I can hear it now,” he tells Buck, “and I'm listening.”

.

unedited; pls be kind!

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edited version now found HERE on ao3 if you'd like to pop across and leave me a comment xp

[buckets-and-trees]

I’d like to point out this man’s insane hotness🥵

Also… imagine needing a place to sit and Bucky tells you to sit on his lap😍

I've been sitting on this one for ages, Shannon, I'm sorry! But I was waiting for a storyline that truly swept me away because this look and the potential for this moment couldn't be squandered if I was going to take a stab at it...

Poison Blood from the Wound of the Pricked Hand

Characters/Pairings: Post TFATWS!Bucky x curvy!Millennial Female!Reader Word Count: 3k Summary: You've made a life-altering decision, and even though it feels like the only choice you could have made, you hope it's the right one, and you hope the man you're being forced to rely on tonight will help you accomplish what you need to, or else your life could be at stake - not to mention the safety of so many others.

Content/Warnings: intense physical intimicy, but no actual smut (I know, shocker)

Author Notes: Possibly the last piece for the Deliciously Debauched Labor Day Weekend! And, yes late, but the final piece to complete out my collection for @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer - week twelve "what should I wear?"

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

“How are things going in there?” Bucky called loudly to you.

“Um…” There was a long pause, before you called back, “Fine.”

You glanced at the clock.

You knew at this rate you were going to make the two of you late. But that only ate at you more. You weren’t trying to cause problems.

Or, rather, you weren’t trying to cause more problems. You already felt like a walking liability.

All you had tried to do was get out of the danger of your brother’s organization.

You had finally gone to the authorities, looking to make some kind of deal for safety, maybe witness protection, you didn’t know exactly how these things worked, only that you had to leave.

But evidently things had been even worse and more complicated than you knew, and the price for safety had come with strings.

They needed more information, and they saw you as a means to be able to get it.

And so they’d dangled a deal that required you to play your part as a trusted member of the family one more time.

You had only been gone for just over twenty-four hours, so it wasn’t likely that your brother would suspect your defection yet. But it was so recent that you still felt unsettled over whether you’d made the right decision - especially now that it wasn’t a clean break and you were being used be the people you expected to be the good guys.

“Are you sure?” Bucky’s voice broke through your thoughts again.

You shook your head. Since he was in the other room, there was no danger in him seeing your doubt and uncertainty.

Of all the moving parts in this scheme, Bucky was possibly the only piece you thought you might be able to trust. His reputation preceded him as someone more than capable of handling any dangerous situation, but he also seemed to harbor a question in his mind over working this operation and trusting the government agencies who had a hand in this.

You sighed, then bit your lip. The clock ticked relentlessly, each second a reminder of your indecision. Your eyes darted between two outfits laid out on the bed, both chosen with care but now seeming woefully inadequate for the task ahead.

You sighed, your eyes darting between the two outfits laid out on the bed. One was a sleek black dress, form-fitting and elegant, with a high neckline and long sleeves that would conceal the nervous goosebumps prickling your skin. The other, a tailored pantsuit in deep navy, exuded an air of professionalism and confidence you wished you felt.

Both outfits were carefully chosen to blend in at the high-stakes charity gala where you'd be making your reappearance in your brother's world. But which one would better sell the lie? Which one would make you look like you hadn't just betrayed everything you'd ever known?

You ran your fingers over the cool silk of the dress, then the crisp wool of the suit jacket. The clock's incessant ticking seemed to grow louder with each passing moment, mocking your indecision.

You needed to look like your old self, the trusted sister, and you’d worn clothes just like these a hundred times before. But now?

And with the added caveat of needing to have a brand new man on your arm and sell that he was a valid new part of your life, too?

You grabbed both hangers and went out into the living room of your apartment where Bucky had been patiently waiting for you.

Bucky's eyes widened slightly as you emerged from the bedroom, clothes in hand. He was sitting on the couch, hands in his lap, already dressed in a sharp looking suit with leather lapels - edgy but impressive. For a moment, you were struck by how different he looked from the dangerous operative turned superhero you knew him to be. He looked like he could effortlessly blend into the opulent setting you expected tonight.

"I can't decide," you admitted, your voice hesitant. "Which one do you think would be more… convincing?"

Bucky's gaze flickered between the two outfits, then back to your face. His expression softened, and you saw a glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

"The dress," he said after a moment. "It's more in line with what you'd typically wear to these events, right? We don't want to raise any suspicions by changing your style too drastically."

You nodded, grateful for his insight. "You're right. Thank you."

As you turned to go back to the bedroom, Bucky's voice stopped you. "Hey," he said softly, his blue eyes searching your face. "We don't have to do this if you're not ready."

For a moment, you were tempted to take the out he was offering. To tell him you couldn't go through with it, that you'd made a mistake. But then you thought of your brother, of all the people he'd hurt, and you steeled yourself.

"No, I can do this. Besides,” you thought of all the things you’d learned in different meetings and conversations and reports today, “this is our best chance to get the information we need to bring him and the rest of the organization down.”

“But it doesn’t have to be you,” he insisted.

You tilted your head and smiled sadly. “But it should be.” They had been planning to try and infiltrate tonight’s gala before you had presented yourself, but with you, you were practically a golden ticket into the event and into so many more of the areas once inside.

Bucky nodded, a mix of admiration and concern in his eyes. "Alright. But remember, I'll be right there with you the whole time. If anything feels off, just give me the signal and we're out of there."

You nodded, grateful for his reassurance. As you headed back to the bedroom to change, you couldn't help but wonder how convincing you and Bucky would be as a couple. You'd only known each other for a day, and while he seemed kind and protective, there was still so much mystery surrounding him.

As you undressed, you tried to calm your racing thoughts. You'd been to countless events like this before, schmoozing with the elite and corrupt. But never as a double agent, never with the weight of so many lives hanging in the balance, and certainly not since discovering the secret that had shattered your world and opened up your eyes to the fact that everything your brother was involved in was corrupt and dangerous.

As you slipped into the black dress, you couldn't help but feel like you were putting on armor for battle. The silk clung to your skin, cool and familiar, yet somehow foreign now. You zipped it up, fingered the neckline, then pressed your hand to your heart and took a deep breath.

In the mirror, you saw the woman you used to be—poised, elegant, the perfect sister to a powerful man. But your eyes betrayed you, filled with a storm of emotions you'd have to learn to hide in the next few minutes.

You applied your makeup with practiced precision, each stroke of mascara and swipe of lipstick another layer of protection, of disguise. Once satisfied with your appearance, you squared your shoulders, and put the lipstick in your clutch.

You emerged from the bedroom, smoothing down the fabric of your dress. “I’m ready.”

Bucky’s eyes roamed over you appreciatively, and you felt something pool in your stomach - the attraction to this man you’d been trying to ignore since you’d been introduced to him early this morning. You could not have a crush on this man who was supposed to infiltrate your brother’s organization with you, steal information, and try and get both of you out safely.

It would be too much of a distraction.

Bucky's lips quirked into a small smile.

“What?” you asked, suspicious.

“You forgot your shoes,” he said simply.

You looked down and sighed.

“Nervous?” he asked, his tone kind, soft.

"Bucky," you said, looking back at him, "how are we supposed to explain your presence? Won't my brother be suspicious of a new man in my life?"

"We've got a cover story. I'm a potential new investor in your brother's 'business ventures.' You met me at a networking event last week and thought I'd be a good fit for tonight's gala."

You raised an eyebrow. "And you just happened to sweep me off my feet?”

"Something like that," Bucky replied with a roguish smile. "We'll keep it vague - a whirlwind romance, sparks flying. Your brother will be more focused on the potential investment than on our relationship."

You nodded, trying to quell the butterflies in your stomach. It wasn't just nerves about the mission now; the idea of pretending to be swept off your feet by Bucky wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Right," you said, forcing yourself to focus. "I'll just go grab those shoes."

You hurried back to the bedroom, slipping on a pair of elegant black heels. As you turned to leave, your eyes fell on a framed photo on the nightstand - you and your brother at last year's gala, both smiling widely. Your stomach churned. How had you been so blind?

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the guilt down and away. You needed to do this. There was no other path in your mind now that you knew the truth. Your eyes flicked from the frame to the luggage packed next to your door. When you’d left yesterday, you hadn’t taken anything with you, not wanting to draw suspicion. With this return to your place and the cover of being swept into something with Bucky, it gave you the cover to pack some of your things - luggage that was being picked up and taken care of for you by one of this “rich investor’s” staff to go with you on a two-week vacation to a private island in the Phillippines. It was a perfect cover, provided you could sell it.

He was so handsome, with his dark hair styled perfectly and his strong jawline. Still sitting on the couch, he radiated confidence and charm, making it easy to see why he was chosen for this mission. You couldn't help but feel slightly nervous under his intense gaze.

Bucky's eyes flicked over your ensemble. "You look beautiful," he said, his voice low and husky.

Your heart skipped a beat at the compliment, feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny. "Thank you," you replied shyly.

You’d been so worried about all the other logistics of tonight, you hadn’t thought about the believability of you and Bucky until now.

“Come here,” he said, holding a hand out to you. You crossed the room and took it, gasping as he pulled you down to sit across his lap.

“Bucky,” you protested, insecure about sitting all of your plus-sized body in his lap. You had never been comfortable with your few previous partners in this situation, but he pressed one cool vibranium finger to your lips, while his other hand moved softly up and down your back.

“Don’t be nervous,” he whispered. “You’ll need to look comfortable around me when I touch you, and if your brother is going to believe you’ve agreed to go away with me tonight, I can’t touch you for the first time while we’re there.”

You nodded. He pressed a kiss to your shoulder, and you shivered.

You felt a flush creep up your neck as Bucky's lips brushed your cheek. His touch was gentle, almost reverent, but you could feel the strength in his arms as he held you. You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself further. He seemed unconcerned, even happy to hold all of you, and the contrast between his warm flesh hand and the cool metal of his other arm sent tingles down your spine.

"Is this okay?" he murmured against your skin, his breath hot on your neck.

You nodded, not trusting your voice. Your heart was racing, and you weren't sure if it was from nerves about the mission or the proximity of this dangerously attractive man.

Bucky's hand traced lazy circles on your back, and you found yourself relaxing into his touch despite your better judgment. "We need to look natural together," he explained softly. "Like we can't keep our hands off each other. It'll sell the whirlwind romance angle."

You swallowed hard, trying keep it together.

Bucky's hand continued its soothing motion up and down your back, and you found yourself leaning into his touch despite your better judgment.

"Tell me more about your brother," Bucky said softly. "What should I expect?"

You tensed slightly at the mention of your brother, but Bucky's steady presence kept you grounded. "He's… charming," you began, choosing your words carefully. "Charismatic. He can make anyone feel like the most important person in the room. But there's always an agenda behind it."

Bucky nodded, his fingers still tracing patterns on your back. "And how does he usually react to you bringing someone new around?"

You sighed, leaning your head against Bucky's shoulder. "He's protective. Suspicious. I haven’t brought many men around. He'll probably try to get you alone, size you up."

"I can handle that," Bucky assured you, his voice low and confident.

You lifted your head to look at him, suddenly struck by how close your faces were. His blue eyes were intense, searching yours. "Bucky," you whispered, "what if I can't pull this off?"

His hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing softly across your skin. "We will," he said firmly. It didn’t escape your notice that he’d said we, not allowing you to feel alone. "You're stronger than you think, and I've got your back.”

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. "Underneath that charm, he's calculating. Always looking for an angle, a way to use people. And he's dangerous when he feels threatened."

Before, you hadn’t questioned his cold side, thought it to usually be warranted, protective of you and the family and his organization. But now you knew better, illusion shattered.

Bucky nodded, his expression grave. "I'll be on high alert," he assured you. "We'll have to make sure he sees me as an asset, not a threat. But remember, we're not there to confront him tonight. Just to gather information."

"Right," you said, trying to calm your racing heart. "Just information."

Bucky's hand resumed landed on your thigh, and he squeezed reassuringly. You put your hand over his.

"Good," he murmured, eyes dropping down to your coupled hands. "That's the kind of reaction we need."

You nodded, trying to focus on the mission, on the act you needed to sell. But it was becoming increasingly difficult with Bucky's strong arm around you, his warm breath on your neck.

"We should practice," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "What if... what if we need to kiss?"

Bucky's eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and something darker, more intense. "Are you sure?"

You nodded, your heart racing. "We need to be convincing, right?"

Without another word, Bucky's hand slid to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. His lips met yours, soft at first, then with growing intensity. You melted into the kiss, your hands instinctively moving to his chest. The stubble on his jaw scratched lightly against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

For a moment, you forgot about the mission, about your brother, about everything except the feel of Bucky's lips on yours. It felt electric, a spark of something real amidst all the deception you were about to undertake. His metal arm tightened around your waist, and you gasped softly into his mouth.

When you finally broke apart, both slightly breathless, Bucky's eyes were dark with desire. "That was..." he started, then cleared his throat. "That should be convincing enough.”

You nodded, unable to form words. The kiss had felt all too real, and you were struggling to remind yourself that this was just part of the act. You couldn't afford to develop real feelings for Bucky, not with everything at stake.

"We should go," you managed to say, glancing at the clock. "We don't want to be late."

Bucky nodded, but neither of you moved.

Then you leaned in and kissed him again. He returned your kiss, metal arm pulling you even closer. Your hands tangled into his hair, and you shifted in his lap so you could press your chest flush against his.

"We really should go," you murmured against Bucky's lips when you had to break off for another breath, but made no move to pull away.

He hummed in agreement, his fingers tangling in your hair as he deepened the kiss. You melted into him, all thoughts of the mission momentarily forgotten. There was only the warmth of his body, the softness of his lips, the gentle scrape of his stubble against your skin.

Your hands roamed over his broad shoulders, feeling the strength coiled beneath his suit jacket. Bucky's flesh hand slid from your hair down your neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps. You gasped softly at the contact, and he took the opportunity to trace your lower lip with his tongue. Heat pooled in your stomach as you parted your lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss further.

His vibrainum hand continued its exploration down your body, while his warm, flesh hand stayed at the small of your back, anchoring you. You lost yourself in the sensation, forgetting for a moment about the dangerous mission ahead. Bucky's kisses were intoxicating, making you dizzy with desire. His metal hand traced the curve of your hip, sending shivers through your body.

Suddenly, the sharp ring of a phone cut through the haze of passion. You jerked away from Bucky, reality crashing back. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a sleek black device.

"It's time," he said, his voice husky. "The car's waiting downstairs."

You nodded, trying to catch your breath and calm your racing heart. As you stood up from his lap, you smoothed down your dress, acutely aware of how close you'd come to losing control.

Bucky rose as well, adjusting his tie and running a hand through his slightly mussed hair. His eyes met yours, filled with…

Filled with what, you weren’t sure.

If you made it out tonight, maybe you might have a chance to find out.

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

Read more stories from the Deliciously Debauched Labor Day Weekend!

👀

What do we think? Do we want to see more of them?

I think this could be a post-TFATWS and pre-Thunderbolts kind of thing maybe. idk.

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

My dearest Cal, I come bearing emojis and writing vibes again and going back to my roots of slightly obsessing behind my screen on the buddieshannon fic:

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

(in all seriousness i am including this little meme because i need you to know this is fully how im in my head representing the emojis to you every single time. i am merely a humble knight offering my sword to you here and eagerly awaiting the fic snippets in return)

AHHH thank you! This is adorable and fuels me, thank you!

I'm going to go ahead and say 1k bc I am not counting that ahaha.

---

It’s a low blow. Especially when he’s changed so much. Been the sole provider for Chris when she was gone. 

Eddie should probably tell her off right now, but instead he just giver her an icy glare. Which is worse. Somehow, it’s worse. 

“Let’s just go,” he says. Frigid. 

She might not have been the source of his bad mood now. But she’s confident she just bumped herself high up on the list. 

◀️

In the car, she tries to apologize. Even though, really, the feeling part of her brain is much more set in her irritation than the thinking part.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she admits. “It wasn’t fair.”

“No,” Eddie agrees. “It wasn’t.”

Um, well… He’s not supposed to just agree. He’s supposed to also apologize for being cold and moody. 

“It’s just…” Shannon says, hit with a wave of emotion. “Your literal only job at these things is to be excited and positive and tell me it’s going to be okay and that she’ll fit through my birth canal!” 

Eddie makes a pained little noise in his throat. 

“I’m sorry,” he says through gritted teeth. “I am excited. I’m sure the birth will go just fine. I’m just not in a great headspace today, Shannon.”

She should probably let it rest at that. 

Does she? No. 

“It freaks me out when you get like this!” She complains.

“Get like what?” Eddie demands. “I can’t have one bad day without freaking you out? I haven’t done anything, Shannon.”

Does he even know how he’s acting? Like, can he see it? Or is she being entirely overly sensitive? This is completely how he used to be when he’d come home from overseas and he’d shut her out and they’d fight… And… And she just can’t fucking live like that again. But maybe he doesn’t even realize? Maybe she’s overreacting? She needs to test it. 

“Why are you having a bad day?” She asks. 

“What?” Eddie replies. 

“You said you’re just having one bad day! Why are you having a bad day?” 

Eddie groans. If he wasn’t driving, he’d probably make some annoyed little gesture. Pinching his nose or running a hand through his hair. Pointing at something. He likes to point. Like a keyed up hunting dog.

“There was arbitration today,” Eddie admits. 

“Arbitration…” Shannon repeats. “For Buck?”

Eddie nods mutely.

“Oh,” Shannon whispers. So it’s not about her. Or the baby. Or anything but… Well, no. It’s still about family. Still about someone Eddie loves. Loves more than he will say.

Shannon hadn’t known about arbitration. Maddie’s being weird. Buck is avoiding her. Eddie is the personification of a storm cloud. Why would she have known?

“How’d it go?” She asks. 

“Does it seem like it went well?” Eddie fires back.

Shannon glares at him. Bastard. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “It fucking sucked, okay?”

“What happened?” She asks. 

He huffs. “He’s… I… I mean, they made me answer questions. Buck… He… He took it too far, Shannon. He crossed a line. Brought up personal shit of Bobby’s… He… I’m furious with him.”

“Okay,” Shannon says. 

They pull into her apartment parking lot. Eddie parks the truck and kills the ignition. Neither of them moves. 

“To me,” Shannon says cautiously. “It sounded like he had sort of a point? I mean, I don’t know any medical stuff, but… I heard about the rebar?”

Eddie scoffs. “It’s not the same thing, Shan. He could bleed out. He could get knocked into something and bleed internally. He could die, easily.”

Shannon’s stomach twists. “Okay. Okay, you’re saying, in your experience, having seen terrible things happen to human bodies, he shouldn’t be working?”

Another heavy sigh. “I don’t know, Shannon. He’s fine, but let’s say… Let’s say the same thing as before happened. He gets pinned by a fire engine. On these meds? He’s dead.”

Shannon nods. “Right.”

“And either way, he’s… He’s being an idiot! They won’t let him back to the station where he sued the captain.” 

That’s… That’s probably true. Even Shannon can see that. But Buck can’t. He thinks he’s getting his job back. 

“Okay,” Shannon says. “Alright. Ignore for a second that he’s probably wrong about all of this-”

“How?” Eddie demands. 

“Just walk with me,” she insists. 

Eddie clenches his jaw. 

“Why are you mad at him, Eddie?” Shannon asks. 

“Are you kidding?” Eddie asks.

“No,” Shannon says. “I’m not kidding.”

“Were you not listening to everything I just said?”

“I was,” Shannon nods. “And, okay. He’s being stupid and he’s wrong. Got it. Why are you mad at him?”

Eddie’s eyes get a little wet.

“Shannon…”

“Let’s talk it through, right?” Shannon says. “He’s suing your captain and your employer, not you. He’s your friend, even if you don’t work together. Why is this so personally upsetting, Eddie?” 

He’s silent for a while. Longer than Shannon would expect. Like he’s really processing her question. Has he not bothered to ask himself this question? Or was everything that has happened with Buck’s lawsuit just been another thing he tried to swallow without chewing? 

“I don’t understand why he’s doing this to us,” Eddie whispers finally. 

“Who? The 118?” Shannon asks. 

Eddie shakes his head. “Me and him.”

Oh.

“What do you mean?” She asks. 

She thinks she knows, but she also thinks he should just… Say it. Try saying it. It helped her once. She’d never said out loud why she wouldn’t come home to him and Chris. And when she did, she could face it. 

“Buck…” He starts, then he trails off. He wipes his eyes. “This is so dumb.”

“It’s not dumb, Eddie,” she argues. “You obviously need to talk about it.”

He inhales deeply. Long-suffering. 

“It’s like he’s choosing this idea of the job - one that he could have had if he just waited and now won’t get - over us,” Eddie says. “Over… Our friendship.” 

“Honestly? I don’t think he’s thinking about you,” Shannon says. “Not to be a dick… Just… I’m not sure he factored your reaction into his choice.”

[lookingfts]

Can we see Anthony operating his phone sex business once he and Kate are together? I love that Kate didn't want him to stop. Oh, this is from like I see you 🤦🏻‍♀️

A great ask! I’ve been meaning to get around to this for a while. (For those who didn’t see the ask this came from, this was my original concept for the ending of Like I See You, but it didn’t fit with the tone of the last chapter. But it’s always been canon in my head. Also, this is very, very NSFW lol.)

It’s interesting, being on the other side of the phone.

She and Anthony had only been dating for a couple of months when Kate brought it up during a sexy shower. Of course, her timing had never been ideal, so she waited until Anthony had two fingers curled inside her to pant, “What happened to your other clients?”

Stilling his hand but not removing it, Anthony blinked at her. “I’m sorry?”

“Your other clients,” she repeated, staring into his blown pupils. “What did you tell them?”’

“Um,” he said, clearly struggling with a lack of blood flow to his brain. “When I realized I had feelings for you, I put them on hold while I figured everything out. If…you know, if you felt the same. And then I told them when we started dating that I was retiring.”

Kate put her hand over his, encouraging him to continue fingering her as she spoke. “What if you didn’t?” she asked, moaning a little when Anthony twisted his fingers inside her.

“What if I didn’t what?”

“What if you didn’t retire?” Kate wrapped her arms around him for stability as she rocked her hips against his hand, her orgasm building slowly and steadily. “I’ve been thinking about it. About…how you were there for me when I needed you. And I think we could help these women too.”

Anthony circled her clit with his thumb, grinning as she gasped and clung to him tighter. “We?”

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly, digging her nails into his shoulder as the tension curled along her spine. “I want to be a part of it. With you.”

He kissed her fiercely, licking into her open mouth, and Kate shuddered as she came on his fingers, her limbs feeling tired and heavy.

Withdrawing gently, Anthony pecked her lips again. “Are you sure?”

Kate smiled, caressing his cheek. “As long as you don’t plan on falling for any of them.”

“I’m pretty sure,” he said, sounding out of breath himself, “that was a one-time thing.”

XX

She knows the women on the other end of the line can’t see her, but Kate finds enjoyment in getting ready anyway. Pulling out a sexy lingerie set – her lingerie takes up a truly shocking amount of closet space these days – and letting her hair flow freely, a bit of eyeliner and a touch of lip gloss to finish it off. It makes her feel sensual, powerful, a feeling that she credits Anthony with helping her find again.

Kate knows what it’s like to feel stuck, to feel lost in her own skin, for the passion and pleasure to be drained out of life. All she wants is to help other women get out of the same rut.

Anthony is already on the phone with the client when Kate walks into the bedroom, and she smirks as his eyes grow dark and heated. No matter how many times she sees her like this, he acts perfectly seduced. “Kate’s here,” he says, putting the call on speaker.

“Hi, Kate!”

“Hey, Shannon.” Shannon is one of her favorite clients. In her mid-thirties, disappointed by dating, but with a great imagination and always willing to try new things. Climbing onto the bed, Kate straddles Anthony’s lap, already feeling the swell of his cock against her thigh. “What are we doing today?”

“Shannon has a threesome fantasy,” Anthony explains. “She wants to act it out with us.”

“Good choice,” Kate says, voice sultry, getting into character. On top of wanting to help her fellow women, there’s no denying that it makes sex with Anthony even more explosive. She loves the fantasy of it, the role playing and the voyeurism. “Do you want us to start? Or do you have something in mind?”

Shannon hesitates for a moment, and Kate remembers what that feels like, too. Struggling to express her desires freely, or even find the words for them. “I want you to go down on him while I sit on his face.”

“Okay, baby.” She unbuttons his trousers, shoving them down with his boxers and taking him in her hand. “He’s so hard for us.”

“Oh, fuck,” Anthony groans as she stretches her lips around him and slides down. Kate plays up the sloppy sounds of her blowjob for their other participant, fondling his balls with her hand, moaning loudly at the weight of him on her tongue. Distantly, she hears Anthony’s litany of filthy words. You’re so wet, honey. Taste so good. I know you need me, I know, just let me suck this pretty little clit and everything will be okay. Just fill you up with my fingers, can you hear Kate sucking me off? She looks so beautiful with her lips around a cock. Want you to come all over my face, come on baby, you can do it.

Kate sinks lower, letting Anthony slip into her throat, and he lets out a filthy noise in response. Shannon is whimpering, clearly on the edge, and she comes vocally to the sound of Kate eagerly choking on Anthony’s cock.

“Good girl,” Anthony soothes as Kate pulls off, taking a long sip of water to calm her raw throat. “What do you want now? Do you want my cock?”

Shannon sounds wrecked already, trying to catch her breath. “I want to hear Kate fuck you. But you can’t come until I do.”

Kate smiles wickedly. There’s a reason she likes this woman.

Straddling his lap again, Kate lowers herself down on him, moaning at the stretch even though she’s dripping wet. Leveraging herself against his chest, she starts to ride Anthony hard, bouncing on his cock as rough noises fall from her throat.

He’s already pulsing inside her, looking pained with the effort of holding back, but Shannon’s cries get sharper and Kate knows they’re all hovering at the edge of something intense.

“Anthony,” Kate whimpers, squeezing around him until he groans, long and lewd. “Be a good boy and make us come, sweetheart.”

Dropping his fingers to her clit, Anthony starts to fuck up into her with hard strokes, gritting his teeth against the tension. Kate meets each slam of his hips, keening his name as the orgasm overwhelms her. Her climax shoves Shannon over the cliff, a small scream leaving her lips.

“Now you,” she tells Anthony, running her thumb over his lip. “Want your come, want you to fill me up, come on baby-.”

His moan is filthily erotic as he erupts inside her, warmth filling her cunt and leaking back down over his shaft.

“He came so hard,” Kate says, smiling benevolently down at him as he slumps against the mattress, worn out. “It’s dripping down my thighs.”

Shannon sighs, sounding thoroughly satisfied. “Fuck, you guys are so hot.”

“It’s better with you,” she insists, picking up the phone so she can speak into the receiver. “You good for tonight, honey?”

“Very good. Next week?”

“Next week,” Kate agrees. “Good night.”

“Good night!” Anthony says from below her.

“G’night,” Shannon responds, already half asleep by the sound of it, and hangs up.

Delicately lifting off of him, Kate collapses onto the bed, huffing a laugh. “You’re a natural at this,” Anthony says, a soft, proud grin on his face.

“I like it,” she admits, honestly, rolling onto her side to place her head on his chest. “One of the many, many reasons I’m so glad I met you.”

[meepmoopdraws2]

Since my hand has been hurting too much to draw I give you my unhinged unfiltered not proofread thoughts… K so like I know what Ryan and Oliver keep saying… and I hear them… vulnerable this… new that… I love you to the core blah blah… but I need them to be so realistic about this. What do you mean we’re going to see them interact in new ways we haven’t seen before. Um yeah freakin right… the only difference is going to be that their going to acknowledge that their doing it in front of our salad. NEW? U mean they’re gonna flirt, cry, be touchy, be parental, be honest, be gay, be nervous, happy, not subtle, never not together, telling each other everything? Angsty when they’re sad? NEW? WHY DO U THINK WE SHIP THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. Sorry it’s making me laugh but I just don’t believe them “new”. New my a*s. You’re just going admit that we’re not complete clowns. The only ONLY thing that would be new that I can think of is them actually talking about their relationships. Buck dating a guy and Eddie’s sexuality arc? But not their dynamic. That will not be new. Just louder?

Side note: Since the beginning of this show Ive been rooting for a bisexual Buck who just is. He knows who he is, Maddie does, and people are just oblivious. Basically that the extent of his “coming out” is him just talking about whatever and it’s a non thing… like “omg I dated this guy who was obsessed with alligators” and we move on. Its so powerful to have that kind of rep too. Even if they have a realization arc for him this season I would rather it be something more along the lines of him getting asked out by a guy or vice versa and him being like “at some point I felt like I had to fit the majority so I just stopped letting myself feel anything for men. Ive always liked them ive been with them…” so on and so forth. Or “yeah blank asked me out and we had fun” and blank is a guy and no one is like “U LIKE MEN?!” Or even if they are he’s just like “yeah haven’t you been knew?” Imo the realization arc there should be more Eddie realizing he’s jealous of Buck even when he’s with a guy”

On the other hand-Eddie’s sexuality arc is a really beautiful opportunity. Especially him talking with Athena and Bobby. Cause I feel like Eddie would have so much guilt or has so much guilt. Like he feels like he wasted so much of Shannon’s life when he was never able to love her in the way she loved him and then she died. And Bathena are obviously like “sometimes life works out that way but you got Christopher and a beautiful friendship and nothing would change that-do you really think she would hold that against you.” And Bobby is like “I got a second chance” Athena js like “I don’t regret that love it led me to such a beautiful thing.” Etc etc. and Eddie realizes Athena is Buck. Okay now im rambling and incoherent byee

[the-way-astray]

It's the Never Change author once again, maintaining my anonymity for now! Katie knows now (we did confirm that) but I don't think anyone else does (it had to do with the anon I sent you about the passage I dislike in your rant, but I've only ever talked about that over DM's to Katie and Isa, so as long as they don't rat me out I think I'm okay)

This chapter is significantly less Keefe and significantly more, hmmm, other keepblr members. Specifically Katie's mutual circle, which you are in contact with because they are the other ones who walked through the fourth wall.

—————

Title: Never Change chapter 3

Pairing: Stria x Keefe

—————

Once upon a time, Stria would have sworn she didn't care enough about Keefe to think about him, unless he was shoved into her face via KOTLC book or tumblr post, during which times she hated him with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns.

But now, here she was... thinking about Keefe.

Something was troubling her about their smoothie date.

He'd outright objected to and argued with her about the idea that he read people's emotions on purpose to find out what they were hiding. She expected this, of course. He somehow managed to both hate himself and believe he did absolutely no wrong at the same time, and she was prepared for his defensiveness.

She wasn't prepared for his lack of defensiveness.

He hadn't exactly addressed the passage about him being jealous of Fitz. He didn't defend it, either. There was no argument. There were so, so many other arguments, and yet...

"Like I said, you don't know me half as well as you think you do."

That was all she got.

She did know him well. Sure, there was the fact that most of what she knew about him was told through Sophie's unreliable perspective, but his actions said plenty on their own. Plenty of her opinions were subjective, sure, and she owned that, but that didn't make them any less valid. She just didn't like him.

She was allowed to not like him!

But that passage wasn't supposed to be subjective. It just didn't make sense. Shannon was clearly making random excuses for Sophie to comfort Keefe. Keefe's bitter, ironic laugh and refusal to defend himself should not be bothering her to this extent!

Actually, she shouldn't be thinking about him at all. Why was she still thinking about this? She could, of course, do what Sophie would do, and try saying We're officially done thinking about this! out loud, but despite the fact that Stria walked through the fourth wall on purpose, she was not about to concede to that level of being written by Shannon Messenger.

She needed validation here. Preferably from someone who didn't like Keefe. Maybe she could reach out to Tam. She needed someone to say, "Stria, why are you overanalyzing this? This isn't like you. Keefe is just being his usual melodramatic self. Since when do you care?"

She'd never actually talked to Tam, though, so he would probably think he was weird if she hailed him.

Why was she the only Keefe hater who walked through the fourth wall?!

Sighing, Stria pulled out her imparter and hailed someone who was probably not going to make this better at all, but was the most likely to concede to the objectivity of her statements, even if she twirled her hair and giggled over it.

Katie answered immediately. "Stria? Are you okay?" she asked. Background noise and voices came through as well.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Stria lied. She was not fine. What sort of brain poison had her thinking this much about Keefe when he wasn't there? And what posessed her to call someone who did think this much about Keefe when he wasn't there? "I just, um..."

"MADDIE, LEAVE MY POOR CAT ALONE!" Katie called behind her. There was a meowing sound, and a little brown tabby cat padded across the background of the screen. "Sorry," she said, directing her attention back to Stria. "Why did you call? We're not scheduled to argue about Keefe for another two weeks."

There was an offended gasp on the other side of the screen. "Gracie licked my applesauce!"

Katie sighed. "Hang on."

"Is this a bad time?" Stria asked.

"No, just give me a second." Katie put the imparter down and walked away. "You might want to put a cover over this when you're not eating it, Lisa. Gracie, the applesauce is not for you." When Katie came back, grabbing her imparter once again, she was holding the little brown tabby cat. "Sorry. Don't mind Gracie. So, what were you calling about?"

"Well, it was a Keefe thing, and I was kind of looking for a little validation about one of my points—"

"—from me?!—"

"—but I'm definitely not thinking about him anymore—what is going on in your house?!"

"Theoretically we're playing uno," Katie replied, which didn't answer her question at all, actually. She turned around again. "Oh my gosh, Alayda, I will ban you from my house! Okay, it's official—Isa's my favorite!"

"Isa was already your favorite," Alayda complained.

"I was," said a voice that must have been Isa.

"She was," Katie agreed. "Now will you guys be normal without supervision for five minutes? I'm trying to talk to my duel spirit mutual." She turned back to the screen. "My apologies once again. I swear it's not normally this chaotic over here."

"That's a lie!" said a voice offscreen.

"Maddie!" Katie groaned.

"Wait a minute. Did you say you're talking to Stria?"

Before Stria knew what was happening, too many people were gathered around Katie's imparter screen. Stria shook her head vehemently. "Nope. I did not sign up to talk to five Keefe lovers."

"Meow," Gracie said, as if to say, Don't worry Stria, I'm on your side! I don't like Keefe either! (At least, Stria was choosing to interpret it that way, for her own sanity).

"So it's about Keefe, then?" asked the girl holding a bowl of applesauce, who must have been Lisa.

"Okay, I'm hanging up. Bye!" Stria put down the imparter. What was everyone doing at Katie's house? Who knew? At least she wasn't thinking about Keefe anymore. Mission failed successfully.

Keefe cancelled their milkshake date only ten minutes in advance. Internally, Stria laughed at him, figuring he chickened out. Weirdly, she was slightly disappointed.

Probably because she wanted to yell at him, and he'd canceled her planned yelling-at-Keefe session.

She was even planning on telling him who Shannon was this time! Which was what he wanted! Rude. Well, she was going to do it to mess with him, but still!

However, at Foxfire the next day, when she was walking to her next class, she noticed a large sign on the Healing Center door as she passed by: For every reason for visitation short of impending death, please see the office across from Lady Galvin's classroom.

For every reason for visitation short of impending death?!

Stria noticed a friend she'd made was passing by and decided to ask her about. "Estella!"

"Oh, hey Stria!" Estella greeted. "Where are you headed?"

"Chemis—Alchemy. What about you?"

"Elvin History," she groaned. "What's up?"

"Do you happen to know why we're supposed to go to the office by Lady Galvin's room instead of the Healing Center?" Stria asked, gesturing to the sign on the door. "Did something happen to the Healing Center?!" It made sense, actually. It was probably the main cast's fault.

"Oh, that's the sign they put up when they're treating serious injuries," Estella explained. "By serious, I mean like... about to die, banshee sleeping next to Sophie Foster type serious. It never used to happen before she arrived and she and her friends all started making a habit of almost dying."

Oh.

Oh, that made a lot of sense.

It would also explain why no one ever had a normal school nurse visit while the main cast was using the Healing Center like a personal hospital.

"Wait, so that means Elwin's treating someone who's literally close to death in there?"

"Yeah. They never tell us anything. It's probably Sophie, though. Or one of her friends. Keefe, the Vackers, Dex, those two twins..."

Stria read Keeper of the Lost Cities, of course. She knew what happened in it. But it still felt... well, very serious to know that on the other side of that door, the characters were going through the sort of traumatic experiences she'd read about in those books, except it was real.

Suddenly, the fact that Keefe canceled their milkshake date ten minutes in advance didn't seem funny anymore.

"I've really got to get to my history session," Estella said apologetically, "but I'll see you around!"

"See you around," Stria said absentmindedly, still contemplating the sign on the door.

—————

And the plot grows more serious!

I had to add some silliness before the seriousness, of course, so take my humble offering of what I think Katie hanging out with her mutuals in person would be like. (Am I one of the mutuals referenced in this fic? Did I write about myself? Who knows! Can't say.)

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! At least I'm aware enough that I can point to some of the out-of-character Stria moments myself now, but I'm going to leave them there, because it's not like this is going to be very in-character anyway once Stria and Keefe fall in love.

Sincerely,

Never Change author

part one, part two

"Katie knows now (we did confirm that) but I don't think anyone else does (it had to do with the anon I sent you about the passage I dislike in your rant, but I've only ever talked about that over DM's to Katie and Isa, so as long as they don't rat me out I think I'm okay)" okay, first of all i think alayda knows who you are as well. at least that’s what she told me, several times. and yeah, i figured you had talked about that passage with katie in your dms. thanks for confirming my suspicions.

also now that alayda, katie and possibly isa are in the know, am i even the first one besides you to read these. do you send them to them for peer review or something before sending them to me (you shouldn't i like being the first one i feel special). is there even any point in tagging katie anymore.

edit: i did all the following notes before getting told who maddie is. so there's a lot of "who the fuck is maddie?" in here. I KNOW WHO THAT IS NOW. don't have to tell me anymore :)

this will surprise a lot of people, but i actually don’t think about keefe that much. when i’m reading the book, he almost never leaves the page, which means i’m filled with annoyance from start to finish, so of course i’m thinking about him (i wrote my rant during a reread). but i don’t spend much of my free time pondering how best to insult him on tumblr, lmfao. probably why my rant isn’t articulated as well as i’d prefer on second thought. but yeah, unless he inserts himself into my awareness first, i don’t spend a lot of time thinking about him. but this is a strieefe fic so whatever. it’s forgivable. this ship is still godawful and makes no sense, but whatever.

i still think shannon making keefe jealous of fitz (not for family reasons) makes no sense and was just there for the sake of shannon milking some worthless comfort between keefe and sophie (which goes on way too long and bashes the the reader over the head until they're black and blue), but whatever. i still think it was an awful writing choice that has little to no follow-through. but we'll see where this goes.

"Plenty of her opinions were subjective, sure, and she owned that, but that didn't make them any less valid. She just didn't like him." why strieefe could never work in a nutshell. keefe's horrible humor is a core part of his personality, and even if you remove all his toxic traits, that still remains. and that irritates me. there's quite literally nothing i'd actually enjoy about hanging around this guy.

"Shannon was clearly making random excuses for Sophie to comfort Keefe." yeah basically. this man has so much pity dumped on him it's a marvel he can even walk without sophie holding his hand and cooing him along.

"Keefe's bitter, ironic laugh and refusal to defend himself should not be bothering her to this extent!" i'm going to be so honest, i would not realistically have even noticed this as being out of the ordinary. i've said this before, but i'm horrific at picking up on body language/cues/adjacent things.

"She could, of course, do what Sophie would do, and try saying We're officially done thinking about this! out loud, but despite the fact that Stria walked through the fourth wall on purpose, she was not about to concede to that level of being written by Shannon Messenger." GOODBYE I LITERALLY TRY SO HARD TO FORGET SHANNON WROTE THAT. I'M NOT EVEN LYING. there's two things that are 100% canon, if you ask me: the vackers have brown eyes, and sophie did not start yelling at herself about her feelings for keefe, twice. don't even think about it. i'm correct, okay. also i walked through the fourth wall on purpose . . . why did i do that? did the keefe lover group from later follow me? did i follow them? did we come together? clearly i didn’t come to talk to keefe.

"Maybe she could reach out to Tam. She needed someone to say, "Stria, why are you overanalyzing this? This isn't like you. Keefe is just being his usual melodramatic self. Since when do you care?"" not something i'd be realistically overanalyzing. thinking about keefe when he's "not there" is not something i'd be engaging in. man doesn't deserve any of my braincells. but the idea of reaching out to tam is intriguing. will i get to interact with the other kotlc characters? oooooooh, can i meet alden and della? that might make the strieefe worth it . . .

"Why was she the only Keefe hater who walked through the fourth wall?!" yeah :( i want max. you should bring him over, then give him an interesting b-plot where he investigates fintan and finds him making out in a closet with bronte. or something. he'd be perfectly happy with this development.

"And what posessed her to call someone who did think this much about Keefe when he wasn't there?" does katie really think that much about keefe when he's not there, though? i doubt it.

""MADDIE, LEAVE MY POOR CAT ALONE!" Katie called behind her. There was a meowing sound, and a little brown tabby cat padded across the background of the screen." first of all, who the fuck is maddie???? second of all, is this the famous gracie? making an appearance at last?

""Why did you call? We're not scheduled to argue about Keefe for another two weeks."" GOODBYE WE LITERALLY SCHEDULE OUR KEEFE ARGUING HOURS THAT'S SO GOOFY.

""Sorry. Don't mind Gracie. So, what were you calling about?"" I WOULD NEVER MIND GRACIE I LOVE CATS GIVE HER TO ME.

""Well, it was a Keefe thing, and I was kind of looking for a little validation about one of my points—"" i would literally never go to katie about anything keefe-related. unforgivable . . .

""Oh my gosh, Alayda, I will ban you from my house! Okay, it's official—Isa's my favorite!" "Isa was already your favorite," Alayda complained. "I was," said a voice that must have been Isa. "She was," Katie agreed. "Now will you guys be normal without supervision for five minutes? I'm trying to talk to my duel spirit mutual."" accurate. also alayda's not capable of being normal. katie should make her take timeout outside for a full five minutes.

""Wait a minute. Did you say you're talking to Stria?" Before Stria knew what was happening, too many people were gathered around Katie's imparter screen. Stria shook her head vehemently." why are all these people aware of my existence. why do they know who i am. still don't know who the fuck maddie is, so i can't imagine she'd be aware of my existence, either. and i barely know who lisa is, i only do because she wanted keefe x her fics in her inbox instead of me lmfao.

do katie and the gang know in this fic that keefe fucking. asked me to drink smoothies with him. and that i said yes. because i can't imagine they'd let me live that down. well, minus maddie, whoever that is, and probably isa. i don't think isa would care.

""Nope. I did not sign up to talk to five Keefe lovers."" . . . well. guess who's now signing up for those exact five keefe lovers to see this. @myfairkatiecat @alaydabug2 @permanently-stressed @lisalovesapplesauce @/whoever-the-fuck-maddie-is i'm signing up to talk to you.

""Meow," Gracie said, as if to say, Don't worry Stria, I'm on your side! I don't like Keefe either! (At least, Stria was choosing to interpret it that way, for her own sanity)." *sniff* i love you gracie . . . the only keefe hater to break through the fourth wall with me . . .

""Okay, I'm hanging up. Bye!" Stria put down the imparter. What was everyone doing at Katie's house? Who knew?" i love how i hung up without getting to the point. that's so in character lmfao. and is this not a normal day on katie's blog, anyway?

[block limit!!!! wahoo!!!!]

"Keefe cancelled their milkshake date only ten minutes in advance." not a date, not a date, not a date, not a date, not a date-

"Weirdly, she was slightly disappointed. Probably because she wanted to yell at him, and he'd canceled her planned yelling-at-Keefe session." that's exactly why i'd be disappointed. correct.

"However, at Foxfire the next day [ . . . ]" i go to foxfire confirmed? did me and the keefe lover group morph into elves upon our walk through the fourth wall? do we have abilities? i feel like alayda should be a phaser, but i have no strong feelings on anyone else. maybe make someone a polyglot for the sole purpose of communicating with gracie? though maybe not katie herself . . . what about the mysterious maddie?

"Stria noticed a friend she'd made was passing by and decided to ask her about. "Estella!" "Oh, hey Stria!" Estella greeted. "Where are you headed?"" it's unclear to me whether this is a real person on tumblr or whether you made them up. if they are real, who is this????

"It made sense, actually. It was probably the main cast's fault." WAIT. wait, wait, wait. is this taking place when the series is still going/the neverseen are still not defeated???? that had not been what i'd been picturing.

"It would also explain why no one ever had a normal school nurse visit while the main cast was using the Healing Center like a personal hospital." interesting headcanon. that would explain a lot, especially how nobody came in from cutting their hand on glass in elementalism or something during flashback, for instance.

"Stria read Keeper of the Lost Cities, of course. She knew what happened in it. But it still felt... well, very serious to know that on the other side of that door, the characters were going through the sort of traumatic experiences she'd read about in those books, except it was real." is it keefe. is that why he canceled the milkshake outing. and i less read kotlc so much as i do burn through it.

also if the series is still going, as i assume it is, does that mean all the copies of kotlc that exist in the universe that me and katie's group came from have magically corrected themselves to account for our existences in the series? i think that would freak out the readers. quite a bit. also i think i'd quickly become the most hated character for daring to hate keefe and steal him from sophie.

"Suddenly, the fact that Keefe canceled their milkshake date ten minutes in advance didn't seem funny anymore." called it about two seconds in advance :)

OOH IT SOUNDS LIKE ACTUAL PLOT SHENANIGANS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN. COOL, I LOVE PLOT.

i can smell the fanfic tropes a mile away; there's gonna be some hurt/comfort between me and keefe for sure. sigh.

in conclusion, you should make keefe kiss lisa while katie stands off to the side, taking notes. it would be hella funny.

"(Am I one of the mutuals referenced in this fic? Did I write about myself? Who knows! Can't say.)" doubt it. you're not katie, alayda, or isa. that leaves lisa (i'm pretty sure you aren't her because why the fuck would she write a strieefe fic) and maddie (i guess you could be her, whoever the fuck that is).

edit: i now know who maddie is! (tagging her properly now: @queefsencen. and this is yet another reason to bring max into this world: he’s her favorite keefe hater!!!!) and i'm certain you're not her, seeing as she didn't even know what strieefe is until a little while ago. so unless you're the mysterious estella . . .

"[ . . . ] it's not like this is going to be very in-character anyway once Stria and Keefe fall in love." yeah, strieefe existing in and of itself is excruciatingly out of character for me. but whatever.

[phoenixexho]

a Buddie WIP for yall (for a bit of context, i wanted to include Pepa setting Eddie up on those dates so i wrote this as if the whole Ana thing took Marisol’s place):

He wasn’t sure why he called Hen. He only called her when Denny and Chris had plans which was not today. Usually Buck would be the person he’d go to in a situation like this, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that Hen was who he needed to talk to. And so he called.

“Hey, Eddie.” She answered, the confusion clear in her voice.

“Uhh Hi.”

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“I broke up with Ana”

“Oh…” She stayed silent, waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry, I dont know why I called. I’ll just, I’ll talk to you at work tomorrow.”

“No no it’s fine! Why did you break up?” Her question was cautious. He understood why. Sure, they felt like family but not the kind of family you talk to about every little thing in your life. More like the kind you see only at large family gatherings; talk about your job and kids and call it good.

“I don’t know. I mean I do, I just…”

“It’s okay, Eddie.”

“I don’t think I ever liked her. Which is insane, she’s beautiful and Chris loves her. She’s good with him and she’s funny and she’s kind and I just…didn’t feel a thing.”

Hen stayed silent.

“I thought I would. I thought maybe if I gave it time, I would fall in love with her. I mean love at first sight doesn’t exist right? It takes time?” he could hear the desperation in his voice, hear himself begging for answers. He didn’t know what he even wanted to hear.

“It does,” she sighed, “sometimes it’s hard to figure out what you want, that takes time too. And it’s okay to take that time.”

“I know what I want. She’s everything I want and yet…” He trailed off, this was all so frustrating, he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just love her, “The idea of us felt so perfect.” It was true, everything he wanted in a woman had been there in Ana.

Hen was still silent; God why did he choose to call her, this has to be so awkward for her.

“Maybe I’m just not over Shannon, I don’t know, I felt ready.”

“That could be.” She paused sighing again. “Or maybe it’s something else?”

“Like?”

“Tell me about Shannon, how did you meet?”

Eddie was thrown for a loop by the sudden line of questioning but answered anyway, what harm could it do, “We had math class together in middle school.”

“Wow, that’s-you were so young.”

He laughed a little. “Yeah we were.”

“And how did you start dating?”

“We were best friends for years. Then summer before our senior year, she asked me on a date. And I thought why not? I loved spending time with her and she made me happy.”

“Why not?” he could practically see her expression through the phone, raised eyebrows and a smile in her eyes, like she knew something he didn’t.

“I liked her. I just didn’t realize it at first. There was no other girls I thought about, it was just her and the idea of having her around for my entire life made me feel warm and safe.”

Hen hummed gently. “Eddie, that-that doesn’t necessarily sound like romantic love.”

“What? She was my wife of course I loved her.”

“I’m not saying that sweetie.” She still sounded so cautious, like she was talking to an upset child. Why was she being so careful with him?

“What are you saying?”

“Can I ask you more questions before I explain?”

“Uhhh sure?”

“Did you and Ana sleep together?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to answer, really I don’t want to know but I’m trying to help.”

“No, um, it’s fine. I just don’t understand why you’re asking.”

“Just trust me here.”

He rubbed his hand over his face. “No, we didn’t. She never made any move to.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know. With Shannon she always made the first move. I didn’t want her to think all I wanted from her was sex so… It wasn’t like I minded anyways sex is, it’s fine but it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is.”

Hen laughed. “Sorry, ‘it’s not as big of a deal as everyone acts like it is?’ “

He felt his face heating up, this wasn’t a topic he had really brought up with anyone. “Yeah…” he cringed at himself. “I mean it feels nice but so does…” he stopped himself, sure Hen didn’t want to hear about that.

“Eddie, have you considered the issue is that you don’t like women?”

“What? I- What makes you think that?”

“Every girl your Tia has set you up with you find some small issue with, you only ever liked the idea of being with Ana, the way you describe your feelings for Shannon sounds like how someone would talk about their best friend…”

“That’s not true. I’ve had friends. The way I feel about Buck is nothing like what I felt for her.”

“And how do you feel about Buck?”

How did he feel about him? That wasn’t something he had ever taken the time to think about. Buck, someone who made his heart feel so full it hurt just from being in the same room. Who could somehow make him smile even in his worst moments. Buck who loved his kid so much it made him want to cry. Buck who made him feel safer than he’d felt his entire life and yet still made his heart race when he stood close. Buck and his curls that always seemed to lay perfectly. Buck and his muscular arms that made his knees feel weak if he thought about them for too long. Oh.

“Oh.”

Hen chuckled.

“Hen, what do I do?”

“That’s not my decision Eddie.”

“I- how could I have had it so wrong?”

“Repression. Sometimes you want to be what’s expected of you so badly that your brain hides the truth.”

“Yeah but that’s too easy right?”

“Sometimes it just takes a little push.”

“So I’m…”

“I don’t know. That’s for you to figure out, I just told you what I see. To me your experience sounds like a extremely repressed gay man’s. But I’m not you.”

“But I-I had a wife, and I loved her. I really did.”

“That can still be true Eddie. I mean look at Athena and her ex.”

[kotlc-deleted-scenes]

Keeper Summer Week #6

Third Deleted Scene from Neverseen

I removed this scene—even though I knew all of my shipping-obsessed readers would love it—because it felt like I was having the characters be aware of the flirting/romantic tension in a way that didn't feel natural to their personalities. I realized that just because I was incredibly familiar with all the crushes between them didn't mean that all of the characters were. Some were a bit more oblivious—and others weren't quite ready to act on that knowledge. So I cut this to stay true to where the characters were emotionally at in that moment. (Those with sharp eyes may notice that Fitz's hair stayed green for a bit longer in this draft—and the rules/process of matchmaking was slightly different.)

—Shannon

They were halfway across the bridge when Fitz shouted, "Wait!" 

His green hair made him look like an alien as he ran to catch up with them.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked Sophie, then noticed everyone watching them. "Telepathically?" 

What's up? she transmitted as she opened her mind to his thoughts.

I just wanted to say that if you can't sleep tonight—or if you wake up with nightmares or something—call for me. I've heard your transmissions from halfway around the world. I should be able to pick them up from across the river. 

But what if I wake you? 

Who cares? 

"Are you guys done flirting over there?" Keefe shouted. "Is this how it's going to be now that you're Fitzphie?" 

"Stop calling us that!" Sophie shouted back. 

"That's right," Fitz agreed. "We're Sophitz!" 

He grinned at her as her brows shot up. And then…he hugged her.

It wasn't a tight hug or anything. In fact, there was probably enough space to fit another person between them. 

But still—FITZ WAS HUGGING HER. 

Figured this ought to shut Keefe up, he transmitted, killing the moment. 

"Call me if you need me," he said out loud. 

Sophie turned and walked away, keeping her eyes on her feet as she crossed the rest of the bridge and ducked inside. Della was kind enough to head straight for her room. Unfortunately, Biana didn't let her off the hook so easy. 

"So, what was that about?" she asked. 

Sophie went for distraction. "I'm just worried about my family." 

"I know," Biana said quietly. "I'm sorry. I hope they're okay." 

"Me too." 

Sophie was almost to her room when Biana added, "But that's not what I mean, and you know it. Are you and Fitz…?"

Sophie waited. 

If Biana wasn't going to say it, she certainly wasn't. 

Biana narrowed her eyes. "You're going to make me bring up the hug?" 

Sophie cringed. 

This was dangerous territory. 

Biana had almost not become her friend because she thought Sophie was using her to get to her brother. And Sophie would never do that—but she also wouldn't have minded if Fitz noticed her on his own. 

Biana didn't need to know that. Especially since the truth was so much less exciting. "Fitz was just trying to annoy Keefe," Sophie mumbled, attempting not to let her disappointment leak into her voice. 

And maybe it worked, because all Biana said was "Hmm." 

Then again, when Sophie turned to leave, Biana called after her. 

"You know I don't care, right? If you and my brother…I mean, it'd be weird, but…" 

"We're friends," Sophie insisted. 

"I know. But just in case…” 

“Um. Okay." 

Sophie wondered if it were possible to have a more awkward conversation. Apparently, it was, because Biana had to go and ask, "What about Dex? And Keefe?" 

Now those were dangerous questions. Well, not the Dex part—but Keefe? 

“They're also my friends."

Biana arched one brow, clearly not convinced. 

"Aren't we all supposed to be waiting to be matched or something?" Sophie asked, trying to steer away from the trickier subjects. 

Not that being "matched" was any less weird. It was one of the strangest parts about being an elf. The elves had a complicated matchmaking system, and not following it had huge consequences. They claimed it was to ensure proper genetic diversity in their offspring, but the whole thing felt super unfair, and like a disaster waiting to happen. 

"I guess that's true," Biana agreed, looking somewhat mollified. "Can you believe we'll have to register next year? Well, assuming we're not still on the run." 

"Next year?" Sophie asked. 

"Yeah. We register when we enter Level Four at Foxfire. I mean, we don't get our matches right then or anything. That's not until we finish Level Six. But we register early so the matchmakers have time to prepare our lists." 

"That's…really soon." 

"I know." 

Biana didn't seem nearly as freaked out by this information. She even laughed at Sophie's stunned expression. 

"Good night, Sophie." 

"Night," Sophie mumbled, stumbling blankly back to her room.

[ambernotember]

Car emoji, box emoji, pickup truck emoji?

📦

“Buck?” Athena swung the door open and looked at him quizzically.

“Hey Athena,” Buck shifted his weight from foot to foot and moved his duffle bag to sit more comfortably on his shoulder. “Uh, sorry to bother you and Bobby, but um, would I be able to stay here tonight?”

Athena took a brief moment to mourn her previously quiet evening with Bobby before opening the door wider and ushering Buck inside.

“Of course, come in Buck. Bobby,” she called in the direction of the kitchen, raising her voice a little. “Buck’s here for dinner, and he’s going to stay in the guest room tonight.” She motioned to him to hand over his duffle bag. “Bobby’s in the kitchen, you can help him get dinner set up. I’m just going to make sure there are some clean towels in the guest room, and I’ll put your bag there too.”

”Oh, Athena,you don’t need to do that,” Buck protested.

“Now I know you aren’t implying that my hosting skills would be anything less than exceptional.”

🚗

“I – “ Maddie sighed. “Okay, Shannon, here’s what we’re going to do. We have a map set up here with all of the flooded streets and debris fields. Once the water has receded, I’ll send it to you. If you can get to Buck’s safely, you can go check on them. If not, we’ll figure out a different next step. But you cannot go out until the water recedes. Don’t put me in a position of explaining that to Eddie and Christopher.”

It was a compromise, and she was still going to have to wait, but it made her feel more confident to have a plan. “Thank you, Maddie. If you – if any calls come in that I should know about –“

“I’ll make sure to let you know,” Maddie said gently. “I have to get off the line, but I’ll text you soon, okay?”

“Okay. Sorry. For interrupting you at work.”

“For you? For Christopher? You can always interrupt me.” Maddie disconnected the call before Shannon could start crying.

(The truck one is in another ask!)

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

july 7, 2021 2:00 p.m. grant's house

[shannon] so, i had to respond to an email i keep forgetting about that came in like three days ago. oh, oh, oh, and i got some clothes in the mail i ordered for the holiday colm and i are going on–you know, our honeymoon–and i opened them so i could make sure the fabric doesn’t make me want to rip my skin off, you know?

[grant] totally respectable. i never buy new clothes either because i like my current ones–why do i need to get used to a whole new set of clothes? my favorite shoes are a decade old pair of converse. i don’t want to retrain myself to be comfy.

[shannon] see! thank you.

[shannon] but back to the email, it kind of has to do with you! maybe! potentially.

[grant] with little old me?

[grant] also, sorry, not to interrupt but: both of you, help yourself to anything you want to drink! i forgot to offer, which makes me a terrible host.

[grant] additionally, there are cookies because i keep stress baking, like, every couple days, so feel free to enjoy some cookies!

[grant] and yes, i'll clear the paperwork off the table. i had to get it out again for something.

[shannon] you're fine! thank you! but anyway, about the email! maybe i can have a single coherent sentence come out of my mouth.

[grant] yeah, no, i am extremely curious what an email potentially having to do with little old random me would be about. also take your time, we do not have to be coherent here!

[shannon] an old professor of mine emailed me secondhand about a project he thought i could help with. it’s not his project but it’s another professor’s project in dublin and it’s not really a formal academic thing but more like a side project for an online newspaper thingy.

[shannon] anyway, um, that doesn't matter, but i emailed this other professor–the lady running the project–who is an anthropologist just collecting stories and interviews from irish speakers in the diaspora, either as a native or a learned language, and she’s looking for people interested in participating, which is a really limited number since...well, you know why…

[shannon] i can’t participate because i would be incredibly biased and also, most obviously, i was born in ireland, but neither of those complications apply to you! also, you will be in the country a week from now and that gives for better interviews to do them in person, if you’re asking me.

[grant] i'm not disqualified because i have citizenship there?

[shannon] no. that’s fine. you just can’t have grown up there.

[shannon] or have gone to any kind of long-term language school or anything there because that would imply being not-in-the-diaspora.

[shannon] also, there’s no pressure. i didn’t say oh yes, talk to my one very specific cousin. i said i have many connections, family or otherwise, who would fit into the scope of your project who may be interested in chatting with you, and i can get you all in contact.

[shannon] but if you did it, i think it’d be fun, and i think you’d have the some of the best answers. at least out of our eligible family members. you’re really one of the kids closest to our grandparents and you have the most exposure and familiarity with the language out of the american-born kids. i mean, you all know how to speak it fluently and natively and all, but some are better than others. besides, you’re so sentimental and that’s helpful.

[grant] well, sure! i don’t mind talking to her. i also don’t think anyone would mind making a really brief detour for a day or so to do it.

[shannon] great! i will try my best to remember to email her in the morning.

[outrunningthedark]

i hope i can articulate this properly but the problem (for me) with how they've written most of the love interests for buck & eddie so far is that they've never gotten them integrated with the other main cast much at all. so it feels a little like they're taking away screen time i'd rather see spent on other people with scenes that are just buck + LI at home or eddie + LI at home (although they can at least get chris in there with those too)

like in restrospect it's kind of hilarious actually that taylor was involved in way more scenes with the 118 before she and buck got together then after

I think your feelings are echoed by many in the fandom, and it's the main reason why I stopped pondering the future for Natalia and Marisol. I personally don't see what a DIY-er and a death doula are going to bring to the firefam dynamic when neither character has a history with them (TayKay) or is a parent to someone's kid (Karen, Shannon). I do have a couple #unpopularopinions in relation to this, though. o1. Difficulty integrating has not been limited to Buck and Eddie Lis. Michael was a main. He had his best friends, his kids. But did his love life get a lot of attention prior to the hospital explosion? And then why did the hospital explosion episode even happen? To give those characters a friendly sendoff. Had Rockmond never been let go over his actions, we can't say that part of his story would have gotten any better.

Maddie is a main. She has a child with a firefighter. They're getting married. Why does Maddie go missing in big moments? Why was she not around during the dispatch fire or Henren's vow renewal? Why is she not having "girl talk" with Hen and Karen, her soon-to-be-husband's best friends? Why is she so isolated that the fandom can't even agree on who would be her maid-of-honor? o2. Buck and Eddie can't both have first responder LIs, I'm sorry. Yes, it's the logical choice if the show wants to make new characters "fit", but that would leave only one of the mains with a LI as a background presence - Hen. I realize that the show isn't actually for us gays, but having the lesbian relationship be the one with intentionally less screen time is a path I'd prefer they not take. o3. Not directing at any specific person because I don't know the opinions of every single one of you, but I will repeat something I said the other day and apply it to future LIs. *I* think it's too little, too late not only to get the GA on board with Buddie, but also to get the fandom - the Buddie shippers - on board with other LIs. The excuse for not liking outside relationships has been that they don't feel like part of the family (agree there), but had Tim shut down the possibility of Buddie for good with Ana, or brought in a new LI for Buck in 4B that wasn't previously criticized...we wouldn't be having these conversations today. Lucy comes in as a first responder and people hate for the cheating angle, sure, but what really stung for most of them was the reminder that the fate of Buck and Eddie would never have been a debate were we watching a man and a woman as opposed to two men. Eddie could fall in love in season seven and the reaction would be "Why does Chris need a new mom when he already has Buck???" Um, because Eddie is supposed to be straight? The only way for Buddie to be co-parents without the confirmation would be if we were watching a queerplatonic relationship. Except...neither one is queer.

You know when you try to clean a stain and somehow make it look worse than it already was? That's what it feels like to watch this show and those characters post-s4.

[kiss2012]

final 911 thoughts…

k tommy’s entrance in 7x03 kinda slayed ngl. the fake static LMAO

“i’d follow your hunches any day” “it’s cap and athena let them fire us” CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

eddie’s incredulous happy little laugh when they saw the flare <3

this show is at its best when 1) it’s about the inherent goodness of humanity and how everyone deserves to be saved, 2) when the members of the 118 are in Situations, 3) when they r all a happy family, and 4) when they are flagrantly disobeying orders to save the people they love

TJE BACHELOR HAHAHDHHSHSHHSHAHAHAH

u don’t understand how funny this is to me (person who watched the most recent bachelorette live)

making buck bi in the bachelor episode literally the greatest thing they have ever done.

I LOVE MADDIE CHIMNEY AND JOSH TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO THE BACHELOR IS DHDJKDD

scream at joey’s face when the contestants proposition buck and eddie

once again buck continues his trend of either flirting on purpose or flirting without realizing he’s flirting.

HOW DID ANYONE GET THROUGH THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK ARE BUCK EDDIE AND TOMMY ALL DOING

buck saying he’s “keeping his options fluid” LOL.

look im glad to see harry even if the actor’s different i missed him but WHERE IS MAY

ravi i love you so deeply

oh my god ravi looks so beautiful

“you and tommy have a lot in common: both in the army both like watching half-naked men pummel each other” WHAT???? WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING

so i understand exactly what’s going on with buck right now he is certifiably insane but he’s obviously jealous over eddie and jealous over tommy and worried about being replaced especially with chris and insecure and confused about what he’s feeling etc. but eddie 😭😭😭 what’s going on babe

I LOVE MADDIE

ok seriously did we need a rehash of the WORST athena plotline to date???

BUCK IS SO EMBARRASSING.

oh my god i physically can’t watch this

ummmmm yikes

i’ve seen a lot of people both blindly defending buck for this and a lot of people hating on it and i don’t really think it’s that simple. like i think it was wrong wish we could see him apologize but it is some delicious drama. like suck ur teeth in hand over mouth kinda drama.

chimney pretty much summed it up and maddie was so right…love u madney

maddie’s hilarious for being like yeah buck i understand where ur coming from i also made desperate bids for my friend’s attention. when i was a 14 year old girl.

“so stop acting like one” YEAH LMAO

END OF 7x04. WOWWW THAT WAS A LOT

you’d think seeing half of this in gifsets would’ve desensitized me to it. but it hasn’t.

this would have been the perfect opportunity to have tommy talk about how he regrets his behaviour during the begins episodes and talk more about his friendships with hen and chimney??

tommy. BUCK!!!!!!!

scream.

um im sorry i cant blame tommy for leaving buck at the curb after that hot chicks comment. and then the “bro”??? im in agony.

i thought u guys were joking this is marisol’s like fourth appearance on screen and we’ve barely heard her speak let alone seen her interact with eddie but he “really likes her” and they’re moving in together? um excuse me??? WHY ARE THEY LYING TO ME I DONT KNOW THIS WOMAN NO ONE KNOWS THIS WOMAN NOT EVEN EDDIE KNOWS THIS WOMAN

ohhhh my god that post about how unlike tommy eddie’s always treated buck like an equal partner no matter what from the very beginning. yeah…

denny is so sweet.

MADDIE AND BUCK COMING OUT SCENE MY BELOVED

disaster bi buck fr (affectionate)

the “christopher is out of town for a couple days” is still killing me. where is he.

eddie is such a dreamboat truly who wouldn’t be in love with him

so many shannon mentions this season thank you…i miss you shannon

if you need me i’ll be thinking about eddie’s thumb on That Spot.

this end scene is the best buck has looked all episode the choice to have him literally bathed in sunlight is so real and true

7x06 time oh my god im so scared

maddie and hen look unbelievably stunning. jesus christ.

eddie looks beautiful in his beautiful pre-destroyed pink suit. buck…your suit was a Choice. i will free you from whoever is doing your hair like that pls buck just let me in i can fix it pls

eddie wasn’t overtly bitchy about tommy being there until he saw tommy hug buck. he’s so funny.

HENREN AND RAVIIIIII 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and all three of their outfits r a slay

can’t explain to you how much i love clipboard buck if clipboard buck has no lovers i am not on this earth etc. and a karaoke bachelor party really is such a thoughtful idea even if it’s not what chimney wanted

but once again buck is so embarrassing i can’t do this

thanks we had a…time. HFJFJDKD

MONTAGE <33333 buck and eddie’s bestieism is off the charts im gonna cry…

“i am 911” maddie buckley the woman that you are…

i unapologetically looked at a million spoilers for this episode but i still don’t know What happened to chimney and im scared

kevin and the lees 😭😭😭😭

CHIMNEY GOING BACK TO THE KARAOKE BAR HE AND KEVIN WORKED AT. OH IM SICK

“telling buck no is like telling a dog not to jump your leg” is definitely. a line. that. they chose. for this episode.

I LOVE YOU CHIMNEYYY

home and he went to the lees. god….

IM GONNA BE SAD ABOUT KEVIN FOREVER

moment 1363673 of buck giving me the worst and somehow most affectionate secondhand embarrassment i’ve ever felt in my life

perfect episode no notes. actually one note WHERE WAS ALBERT. but other than that im in shambles time to listen to islands in the stream on repeat

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

129 for Switcheroo!

---

Eddie gapes at him.

“You retired?” He asks. 

“Yes,” Ramon replies.

“Willingly?”

“Yes, Edmundo. Willingly.”

Eddie huffs out a heavy breath.

“Well,” he says after a moment. “I’m sure you must be going crazy.”

“It just happened. Two weeks ago,” his father explains. “And now I’m here.”

Now he’s here. He almost died. Eddie almost died. The world almost ended, and Ramon Diaz decided, hey, time to retire and try to fix things with his son. Eddie doesn’t know what to think. Part of him is moved, honestly. The part that always sought his father’s approval. That tried so hard to be the boy he wanted him to be. That then, spurned, tried to be anything but that man. That lost little kid in him wants to take this at face value. The father in him? Less happy. The son says, finally. The father says, how could you ever have waited this long? 

“Please, son,” Ramon replies when Eddie is silent for too long. “All I’m looking for is a chance not to miss any more of your life. Or my grandson’s.”

This last comment lights a fire in Eddie. 

“But you would have never known Christopher at all,” Eddie accuses. “If I hadn’t run into my son, a total stranger, in a grocery store, none of us would have ever known him. And that was a choice.” 

“I know, I don’t deserve-”

“Do you?” Eddie cuts him off. “Do you have any idea? Because you missed most of your own kids’ lives, so I can see why it wouldn’t seem like a big deal.”

Ramon flinches. But he takes a steeling breath and looks Eddie in the eye. 

“I… I have an excuse for one, but not the other.”

Eddie tightens his jaw and waits. Fine. He’ll listen. But he’s not going to pretend he’s happy about it.

Another deep breath from Ramon. 

“For Christopher… It’s going to sound like a lie, but really, I didn’t have the same information.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asks. 

“I… I didn’t… I supported your mother, you know? That’s what you do when you’re married.” 

Eddie tightens his mouth. He doesn’t need a lecture on duty. 

“But I was away on business, she got the call from Shannon. When she heard about the baby. By the time she got back, all I heard was that Shannon girl got pregnant. Moved on from Eddie fast. I didn’t question it.”

Eddie can actually believe this, which  is the problem. It might be easier to know how to feel about it if he thought his dad was lying. He could just stay angry. It’s easier to just stay angry. 

“Okay,” Eddie replies cautiously. “I can see that.” 

“I should have behaved much differently when I found out the truth,” Ramon continues. “I shouldn’t have backed her up. I love your mother, but she was wrong in what she did. I know that. I’m sorry.”

Eddie swallows. The admission has more impact than he would have thought. 

“Thank you,” Eddie says. “I appreciate you saying that.”

If he expects Eddie to apologize in return, for sending them away, for preventing them access to Chris, he won’t, though. He was right to do that. He knows that. 

“I don’t have an excuse for not being there for you growing up,” Ramon says. “Or for the way I reacted when you came out to us. All I can say is that I felt… I felt like there was a certain way to do things right, and was very scared of veering off course. I’m sorry.”

Eddie’s throat feels very tight. He doesn’t really know how to reply. He knows the compulsion his father is talking about. Knows what it feels like to walk away from it. He knows it’s something he inherited. Did it just take Ramon decades longer to turn his back on it? Or is this all a charade? 

“Thank you,” Eddie says again, voice hoarse.

“If there is anything I can do to make it better between us, please tell me, Eddie,” Ramon practically begs. “I’m just looking for a chance.”

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Um… I want… I want to give you a chance, I think. I just… Honestly, Dad, I don’t know how. I don’t know how to trust you.”

Ramon’s eyes flicker down to the table. He nods shallowly.

“I suppose that’s fair.”

The thing is, though… Eddie doesn’t want to be angry. He’d love for this not to be a gaping wound in him. He’s never wanted to hate them. He has always loved them, and found himself missing being loved in return. He doesn’t want to set refusal to forgive as an example to his son, in case god forbid he ever fucks up so badly it’s a question. Not that he would ever fuck up quite like his parents have. Never. 

Eddie would like time and space to process this a bit better than he can right now. But that’s not the scenario he’s presented with. His father has come to apologize and ask if there’s any chance to move forward. Without his mother. Something Eddie wouldn’t have, in a million years, anticipated. So… So, it’s an opportunity. One to accept cautiously. One to measure the benefits and the risks of analytically, rather than from a place of anger. He can do that. 

“I’m open to figuring it out,” Eddie says finally. 

Ramon looks back up at him, hopeful. 

“You are?”

Eddie nods. “It’s… It’ll take me time.”

Ramon sighs, relieved. “Thank you, Eddie. I understand.”

[i-dont-know-nor-care-go-away]

How would they know?

the absolute lack of sex Ed in my school has lead to hilarious and concerning situations. I found out about std's through a comments chain on tumblr 3 years after I learned about periods. no one told me shit, and I'm really glad I'm ace. so I made it into a fic about my current hyper fixation (avoiding work btw) warrior nun season one, canon compliant ish

cw : discusses sex Ed or a lack or it, no detail, just the word std at worst

"AVA!" screeched Lilith, "This is a church!" Ava continued sniggering at her joke, "and you're a prude." "I am a sister warrior and I am trying to eat breakfast, you-" Mary interjected "Hey, that's enough. Both of you."

Neither of them had to decency to feel ashamed but had the brains to look as if they did. Ava stuck out her tounge at Lilith, who lunged at her across the table.

"Hey, I said enough" Mary grunted, restraining the very upset nun. "No more baby making jokes, and no murdering" Ava looked confused, "hey I made a sex joke, not.. whatever you said." Beatrice gasped, "you made a- I-" and Mary slowly turned toward the warrior nun. "Ava, tell me you know what happens when two people do it."

Bewildered, Ava said "Ya know, fun stuff, and stds?" Mary and everyone at the table froze. Lilith snorted "no, you dumbass child. you get pregnant. who gave even you the talk?"

Ava looked around the table "um. what talk?" Now, even Lilith was concerned, "About your lady days" she deadpanned.

"You mean everyday?" rebutted Ava.

Mary said, "She means periods."

Ava was even more lost. "Shannon, help me" prayed Mary. Lilith awkwardly groaned "when you bleed from..down there"

Ava looked down at the table "I never got a talk, one day the nuns just said I was a women now because Eve sinned or something. they kept washing the sheets and saying how disgusting it was."

Beatrice gently put her hand on Ava's forearm, "I understand, my mother hadn't taught me about that before it happened. I'm sorry it happened like that."

Mary shook her head in disbelief, "so you've never learnt about std's or 'wrap it before you tap it'"? "no?" chorused Ava and Beatrice.

"A what?" continued Beatrice. Camila seemed to be praying now, her head bowed in frustration.

The halo bearer just shrugged, "hey, 80's movies just taught me to be funny about it, and piss off nuns, despite the fact I couldn't walk. No reason for the nuns to teach me shit."

Even Lilith felt bad. Mary looked at Beatrice "Her? I understand. How have you been alive this long and never got any sort of warning?"

Beatrice looked ashamed. "Mary, you know why. It was forbidden until I was old enough to know and by that time my mother didn't quite.... have the right knowledge for me. She thought the knowledge of any of that sin might tempt me. I'm a sister warrior now, though, it matters not."

Lilith scowled "It's not sin, it's knowledge of how you body works" She shared a look with Mary, and they fought it out with a stare.

You tell them. I'm a nun. No, I am not doing this. this is something Shannon would be able to handle. well, someone has to do something, I'm not their mother.

Mary broke her stare, and looked at both of them. She got up, "Let's go learn about the birds and bees." Ava, annoyed, sat up but Beatrice protested, "I don't- I. Mary, I am a sister warrior, I assure you I would never-"

Mary sighed, "Baby girl, you are gonna learn about basic biology, it's not an 'adult film'" she said, mocking a British accent on the last phrase. Mary all but dragged the two girl to Mother Superion's office.

...

The head of the OCS looked up, questioning Mary's predicament. She just shook her head and said "You two are gonna learn something new today. and trust me, you won't die."

She looked at Mother "You remember what talk you had to give me when I arrived? well, they might not be nine but they still need it." and she left. Ava internally swore, and Beatrice was red already. This was gonna suck.

...

Ava and Beatrice walked out, more shell-shocked than ever before. Ava looked towards her trauma bonded companion (not in the eye, not after what they've heard.) "Take this to the grave?"

The sister warrior looked dead ahead, pain in her eyes, and replied, "Gladly"

[maerambles]

Chapter 29 and 30

Keeper of the Lost Cities - Shannon Messenger (October 2, 2012)

Alden and Della were gone a lot, and they usually came home smelling of smoke. (Ch. 29, p. 283)

*Cardi B voice* That’s SUSPICIOUS. That’s WEIRD. No, but seriously, why are they keeping this from Sophie? Just tell her!

“I hope you enjoyed your six-week vacation.” [Dame Alina] (Ch. 29, p. 284)

Six weeks have passed? And NOTHING INTERESTING HAPPENED? A six week vacation would be a great way to include character development!

“Your Mentors also tell me there are one hundred nine Level Threes who haven’t manifest abilities, and more than double that of Level Twos - which is unacceptable.” [Dame Alina] (Ch. 29, p. 284)

There’s at least 218 Level Twos?? I legitimately thought there would be around 50-80 in each grade considering how small the elven population is and how frowned upon it is to have multiple kids. 300 is probably around my graduating class in high school - and we would have been considered a pretty big school! How many professor must Foxfire even have if they do one-on-one teaching?

She couldn’t blame him for his surprise - even Tiergan didn’t know that was possible - but she’d never forget the way his mind jerked when she reached it. (Ch. 29, p. 285)

I feel like this is making Tiergan seem like a very, um, dumb telepath considering he has absolutely no idea how Sophie does the things that she does but in reality, Sophie is just HELLA overpowered.

“There are forbidden talents?” Sophie asked. (Ch. 29, p. 285)

Why are there forbidden talents? Unless there is a talent that is only used to kill/hurt people, than it would make sense, but pyrokentics don’t seem that dangerous to me.

“How could it be more dangerous than someone who can inflict pain?” [Sophie] (Ch. 29, p. 286)

Exactly, Sophie!

“Because fire is too unpredictable. No one can truly control it.” [Dex] (Ch. 29, p. 286)

What about those who can control water? I’m sure it’s as unruly as fire.

Sophie shook her head. “That still seems wrong. It’s like they’re not allowed to be who they are.” (Ch. 29, p. 286)

Sophie making POINTS here! Also, if you have a talent, but are still banished to be untalented because of the talent you developed, I would be SEETHING. Especially with who the Lost Cities treats those without talent.

So she waited until Grady and Edaline were busy outside with a pair of dire wolves and snuck upstairs for a quick peek, promising herself she’d be careful to not leave any trace she’d been there. (Ch. 29, p. 287)

Dire Wolves - Not a magical creature, but an extinct species of wolves. Very neat!

Rolled scrolls were stuffed in bins, a mountain of paperwork littered the desk, and books were shoved haphazardly on the shelves. (Ch. 29, p. 287)

I wonder why Grady would need all this paperwork. I know he works taking care of animals at Havenfield, but why exactly would he need all this stuff?

Stacks of locked trunks littered the floors, covered with piles of folded linens, unopened presents, and random objects she couldn’t identify. (Ch. 29, p. 289)

Sophie has better restraint than me, I would be looking through those for sure lol.

In the three weeks since midterms, they’d already suffered through burned hair and sweaty feet flavors. (Ch. 30, p. 290)

So technically nine weeks have passed if we include the six weeks of vacation?

“First star on my list is Amarnthis.” [Dex] (Ch. 30, p. 291)

An original concept! There is no star named like this! Sorry, I just like making note of these things.

It only took them a few minutes to fill bottles with scarlet light from Rubini, yellow light from Orroro, pale blue light from Azulejo, deep orange light from Cobretola, and dark blue light from Indigeen. (Ch. 30, p. 292)

I feel like the names come from other languages, Azulejo = Spanish, Rubini = Italian, etc..

“I think I would know better than you.” [Sophie, to Dex] (Ch. 30, p. 293)

Sophie! That is no way to speak to Dex! I did see some people talking about how bad of a friend Sophie is to Dex, but this is one instance where I think I could add to that theory.

HAVEN’T POSTED IN A LONG TIME BUT I’VE BEEN SOOO BUSY. Anyway here are two chapters so that I can keep my streak of posting at least once a month!