#uhhh yeah idk its just pretty and im proud of it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

niskoo · 3 years

Text

Memories kept in the pink hoodie

pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU

warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together

word count: 2.2k words OMG

a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!

a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear

You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.

It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.

The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.

When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.

Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.

Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.

It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.

You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.

Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.

'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'

You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.

You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.

'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'

Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.

You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?

You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.

As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.

You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.

You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.

“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.

Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.

Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.

All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.

You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”

It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“

“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”

You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.

Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.

All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.

Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.

Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.

Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.

Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”

“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”

More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.

A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”

A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”

He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”

You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.

For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.

Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.

And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.

You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.

‘My dear Y/n,

Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe

i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.

i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.

i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.

with all the love in my heart,

Lee Heeseung :)’

You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.

You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.

#ehypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen blurbs #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung #lee heeseung angst #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung blurbs #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung scenarios

133 notes · View notes

tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years

Text

T.H| My Mortal Enemy

Summary: you really dont wanna dance with him

Warnings: uhhh language per usual other then that idk-

A/n: I actually wanted to create a series with princess!reader but i wasnt sure.

A LOVE TRIANGLEEEEE OMFGGGGG prince!tom x princess!reader x timothee chalamet

“Y/n suck it up” “suck what up?” “Your stomach” you took a deep breath in and grunted when she pulled thhe strings of the corset.

“Fuck you” you sighed, holding onto your stomach while she laughed “you have to dance with him, theres no way around it” zendaya said, tying the strings together while you complained.

“Im not dancing with him! Ill just dance with timothee” you commented, wiping the sweat from your forehead before she grabbed the hoop skirt, telling you to step into it.

“You’re becoming queen and toms becoming king. There’s literally nothing you can fucking do” she muttered, picking it up and putting it on your hips, quickly closing it. “Im not happy with that”

“Honey please. Clearly” she glared at you, and you smacked your lips and raised your hands in the air, the detailed white skirt, small roses and small patterns, coming over your head and down ontop of the hoop skirt.

“Beautiful” she smiled, looking at you in the mirror while you stood there shoulders slumped. “I look like one of those creepy baby dolls”

She hit you in the back making you stand up straight “you wont get anywhere with that attitude, you go in there with confidence and your head held high. For tom..... i dont know what hes gonna do but dont let that ruin your mood”

“Thanks that means so much-“ “shut up” she ordered, eyeing you as you kept your lips sealed tight. She grabbed the heels and bended down on her knees, snatching your foot making you almost fall.

“You know i couldve had someone else doing this for me. You dont have to-“ “i need you to look your best, princess” she muttered, slipping the shoe on and doing the same with the other.

“Im not marrying that scoundrel, harrison” he said, his helpers helping him while harrison watched, laughing at him. “If you wont i will,” “shut up” “you dont even like her” “so?”

He stared at harrison with daggers, while harrison played with a smirk on his face. “It cant be that hard. Just a dance and youd never have to make contact again” timothee shrugged, swirling the ice in his glass.

“You dont know i feel towards her” tom whispered. “Well you obviously hate her, but shes the most beautiful woman in this palace, everyone thinks so!”

“Eh id rather marry zendaya” “zac will kick your ass” harrison said, “thats besides the point” “tom just be quiet” tim said and tom furrowed his eyebrows at him.

“You literally talk about her all the time. If you have such a problem let one of us dance with her” he offered. “Why would i do that?”

“Because you hate her!” They both shouted at him. “I-i dont hate her....i just have se negative feelings about her”

“Then why do you talk about her all the fuckin time?”

He didn’t know how to answer that. He didnt know if he loved you or hated you. It was whatever he felt in the moment.

And that left him with a sigh and a shrug “i dont know”

“You look absolutely stunning!” Zac said, his arm wrapped around zendaya while Had a smile in her face. “She thinks she looks like a doll, a creepy one”

“Welp that isnt gonna get you anywhere...” “exactly what i said!” “Can i please take off these heels?” You asked hopping on one foot to scratch the back of your ankle.

“Nooo! Come on!” Zendaya urged and you groaned, walking with them following behind you.

The ball room was.....beautiful. Fancy tables and chairs everywhere, the special table on the other end of the room for the king and queen.

The room was filled, cheers and glasses clanking, laughs leaving people lips. And then someone cleared there throat loudly, when you looked over it was your beloved mother, “the queen is here!”

She walked over, the room quiet as gasps left people lips, muttering things like “since when does y/n wear ball gowns” “she looks stunning” and things like that.

Her hand found yours and you did a small smile, letting her pull you wherever as zendaya and zac found thier table.

She pulled you to your fancy table. “Now y/n i need you to behave” “but maaaa!” “No excuses! Make everyone proud okay, i know that boy can be a handfull”

“How do i look?” He asked, running offly late. “I mean you arent trying to impress anyone-“ “you look great” tim cut harrison off, patting toms shoulder “so can we please leave”

And you sat there, bored, for once in your life time crossing a leg over the other and helping yourself with cherries while tom watched from afar, his mother walking him over.

“You look wonderful y/n, both of you do” she smiled, rubbing toms shoulder and looking at you. “Thank you ms. Holland”

“Please- call me niki. Were gonna be a family after all” she said, making tom roll his eyes and bite his lip, looking away then looking back. “Yeah we are” you smiled and like that it was only you two.

“I dont like you” “and what makes you think i do?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow while he crossed his arms “the least you can do is act like a gentleman, as far as anyone knows we are happy together” you said making him nod, sitting up and clearing his throat.

“Sooo.....wife” you cringed at his words but let him continue “how are we gonna do this?” You only shrugged “we can sleep in separate rooms or something” “sounds like a plan” he genuinely smiled at you, handing you another cherry as you squinted your eyes at him.

“I dont know if you poisoned this” you flicked it back at him, making him let out a small gasp before throwing it back “you arent worth my time, i would waste a dime trying to kill you” “i dont know if i should take that as a complement or not” your eyebrows furrowed and he sighed, looking away from you.

“You know, i dont know why they have such a problem with each other” harrison said to tim, currently at their own table, throwing grapes at one another and cracking jokes. “I dont think we’ll ever find out” he said in response, eating one of the grapes.

AnD iT WAs TiMe TO daNCE

The strong piano played, filling the halls as everyone watched you and tom.

You both maintained eye contact, his hand tight on the side of your waist as yours was tight on his shoulder, squeezing each others hand that was shared in each others.

“Im never doing this again” he whispered, basically nose to nose with you. “Do you think i want to?” You rolled your eyes. “I dont care if you want to! I just know im not doing this”

“Well grea-“ he dipped you and you almost gasped, frightened making tom silently chuckle before lifting you back up, now chest to chest.

“Your a fuck-face” you muttered. “You love it” he shrugged, “why are we doing this anyway”

“I dont know, why do you hate me?” He asked making your jaw drop. “Why do you hate me?!” You aggressively whispered.

“They look happy” zendaya said, zac, haz and tim all circled around the same table as they watched intently “ehhh” they all let out at the same time, in their own bubble, tim leaning back in the chair and Harrison slump with his legs open, zac resting his face on his knuckles as he silently blowed spit bubbles.

“I hate you because you hate me!” “I only hated you because you hated me!” “Bullshitttt” he bit his lip and you aggressively stomped on his foot with the edge of your heel.

He let out a small whimper and a fuck you making you have a smile on your face. “Dont cuss at me” “im pretty sure my foot is bleeding, fart face” “shut up” “but you literally called me a fuck face!”

“Shush!” He still whimpered in pain when he moved, “im sorry” you said, feeling guilty. He did a small smile “that isnt gonna make my foot better is it?”

“Well what the fuck do you want me to do! Kiss it?” “That wouldn’t be so bad” you groaned and looked away from him, to keep yourself from looking at him you easily pressed your head on his chest, making his breath hitch and his heart spead up, the piano relaxing a bit so you both moved slowly.

“Awwww” everyone said together making tom blush hard, your arms came up to circle his neck while his silently made its way to your waist. “Y/n why are you doing this?” He asked, whispering in your ear as you let out a small “i dont know”

“Well- can you n-not?" “Not what thomas?” “Be all bubbly with me!” You looked up at him with your eyebrow raised “im not being bubbly”

“Yes you are!” You sighed in response “but dont you feel better! Not everything has to be so negative” “well this is bluntly awkward” “well then stop making it awkward!”

“Yeah they are in love with each other” zac said, everyones eyebrows furrowed as they looked at you both, a different look and vibe coming from the both of you.

The piano slowly ended, you and tom panicked.

“Kiss me!” He ordered. “Why would i do that! We barely even get along!” “As far as they know we are a happy cuddle” he mocked your voice. “Im still not kissing you” “if you dont kiss me im gonna kiss you”

“Fine-“ “hurry up!” “You sound loke you really wanna kiss-“ before you could finish he pressed his lips on yours, his hand pulling you closer as his other hand came up to the side of your face, and SUPRISE you fucking kissed back!

Although you both you never would never admit it, you both loved the kiss.

Your lips where soft and to your suprise his lips werent chapped, his hands were gentle on your face as you also pulled him closer, your arms still circled around his neck.

Everyone at the tables jaw dropped, zendayas more but that didnt change the subject that you both kissed, and it looked like you both were gonna sit like that till end of time.

“No fucking way” haz muttered, looking at everyone else’s expressions and they were the same.

An audible noise came when you both pulled away. “That- that uh....wasnt s-so bad” he did a small awkward chuckle. “Yeah.... i uhhhhh”

“Uhhh” you both looked away from each other before tom pulled you back to your private table.

“Im still shocked” tim said, everyone agreeing as everyone else clapped for them. “So they just decided to love each other” zac shrugged, “yeah something like that”

After that whole thing was done, daya, tim, haz, and zac locked you all in toms bedroom for questions. “What is this about?” You asked, taking off your heels and getting undressed infront of everyone.

“You and tom” his eyebrows furrowed as he started to get undressed himself. “What about it?”

“Uhhh helllooo! Are we gonna act like that fucking kiss DIDNT happen?” Daya waved her hand in the air, before crossing her arms. You and tom silently looked at each other “it was his fault”

He smacked his lips and threw himself on his bed, throwing a tantrum, kicking air. “I thought we werent gonna tell anyone!”

“So you admit it!” Haz said, a wide smile on his face as he clapped his hands. “Zendaya the corset please” you said, she came over and undid it for you. “Can i have a shirt please?” You asked, looking back at tom and he nodded getting up, searching through his drawer.

“SINCE WHEN WERE YOU BOTH BUDDY BUDDY?” Tim said, and tom shrugged “I guess we just feel differently about each other”

“And it was because of that kiss wasn’t it?” Zac smiled while daya had a childish look on her face. “It’s happening! Give me my money!”

“You guys betted on us?” You asked, thanking tom when he handed you a shirt. “Wait wait wait wait, what the actual fuck. What in the fucks is going in here because this is confusing!” Haz said, getting a headache “i swear if that kiss never happened they would be ripping each others head off”

“Zendaya more loose please!” You said and she eyed you, “help her tom” she said, crossing her arms. “Uhhh...okay” he shrugged, walking over to loosen it more.

“HUH?” Everyone shouted, watching as he loosened it and then made you turn around to loosen the front. “Somethings not clicking-“ “no because this isnt adding up”

You put the shirt over your head and pulled the corset off of you under your shirt, he helped with the hoop skirt since you already took off the actual skirt.

“Im really confused” zac said, sighing as everyone who betted gave zendaya 100 bucks, including him.

“We all are, zac” tim muttered, crossing his arms as he watched you both communicate. “Tom when your done lets talk!”

And timothee and tom went outside of the room, tom leaning against the wall as he waited for him to speak. “Youre only doing this because we said something about her, right?”

“I dont know what you’re talking about, timothee” “yes you do. Youre only doing this because you know i have feelings for her” “I actually didnt know that but okay”

“Yes the fuck you did” tim pushed him, toms eyebrows furrowed as he pushed him back. “No i didnt” tim pushed him to the floor, a large thud heard making you all whip your heads to the door, hearing a punch made you walk slowly to the door.

“You knew i had feelings for her and you took her away from me, you dont even like her!” “What?” You whispered, looking over at zendaya before they all rushed to the door, ear hustling.

Tom tackled him to the ground, aggressive punches thrown at his face until tim rolled both of them over, now his turn. “I hate you! You were never there for her! Made her mad- sad- and everything that she doesnt fucking deserve!”

You decided it was time to come out, opening the door and telling them both to stop, Zac pulling tim off of tom and Harrison holding tom back.

Tom sent daggers at tim while tom did the same. “And now she likes you. Ive been working so fucking hard to win over her heart but you- you have to ruin everything” tim finished, pushing zac off of him before turning to you.

“I hope youre happy” he scoffed and walked passed, flipping tom off. “Wait!” You said, chasing after tim while tom looked back, jaw clenched as he watched you run off.

“Y/n leave me alone” “i just want to talk” you caught up to him, both of you power walking. “I never knew you had feelings for me timothee! If you would’ve told me sooner I would’ve never done the thing i did today” you said, looking at him while he still looked ahead, before he looked at you.

“Im not mad at you y/n. He-he knew that i had feelings for you and he took advantage of it, i-i” he sighed and you pulled him into a hug, “im sorry”

I dead ass dont know if i should do a part 2 or not. THIS IS WHY I SAID I WANTED TO MAKE A SERIES- IM SO MAD AT MYSELF-

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland blurb #timothee x reader

59 notes · View notes

micahdodoodles · 2 years

Text

Some sketches i did for fun, and what i remember from them (because if you're going to make people look at your weird sketches, why not tell them a story too)

This is gonna be a really long post since i have alot of sketches i havent posted.

Uhm

Why the fuck did I draw this, it was an inside joke or something but i dont remember, something about me bouncing

Oh hey one of my most recent sketchdumps, I used to do alot of these but i dont do it much anymore cause idk how to group the sketches all together in one canvas in a way it doesnt look cluttered. But then I remembered its a sketch "dump" so.

Omg froot :DD

So i wanted to redraw my toram character again, but i didnt finish it. I love how i sketched the body so I might finish this in the middle of school break if i can. Oh yeah, i changed to dual sword :DD And it's hell. Tanginang evasion yan. Dapat level 70 para ka unlock sang skill tree lvl 3, amputa.

I FOUND OUT THROUGH FACEBOOK REELS THAT THERE'S A MOTHERFUCKING PERSPECTIVE RULER AND OH MY S A T A N

i cant fucking believe i never knew it existed. You can customize every part of it too. I am livid. And so relieved I dont have to make plain background anymore.

Tried out grayscale again. It's... uncomfortable to work with. I think I'll stick to just coloring normally.

Before i found out about perspective ruler, I was already pretty decent in backgrounds. This sketch was based off of a tumblr writing trope but i forgot what it was. Also, good omens cameo :D

This uh

this is really empty. Anyway, a friend asked hoe to pose wearing a swimsuit so i drew two example poses even though they didnt seen at all. And then i sketched a but and abandoned this canvas.

Im SUPER proud of this one, i really improved on drawing legs and perspective. Took alot of inspo from comics i love, like Camp Counselor Jason, Team Fortress 2 and Purple hyacinth. Oh and uhhh that green goopy thing is supposed to be Eater of Worlds from terraria cut into two and skewered on a stick. Also

thats about it.

6 notes · View notes

lettersfromkokichiouma · 3 years

Note

AyYYyy Im bAck bitCh i aint dead yeT lmao

so ummM todays a lil different kokichi cause-

-the front bottoms and mother mother (and maybe i hate my mom by grlwood) blast through headphones as my laptop almost overheats cause i played genshin impact for 6 hours stright and its my current hyperfixation-

yeah...

anYwAy, my reason for returning today is kinda a long story, so pls bear with me lol

so after lots of research and shit, and after talking with my gf who has adhd, i am 100% i have adhd and social anxiety, maybe a few other things idk. The thing is, I am wAAyy past the age ppl usually get diagnosed and i brought it up with my parents three whole times over the course of tWo FriGgiN yEArs before they aCtuAlly diD aNyThiNg and my dad was nice but kinda denied it yet aggreed to look into it, but my mom especially denied it. she kept invalidating the symptoms i clearly showed and kept saying that thats what comes with being young and a "kid" and saying that everyone feels things like fidgeting and being unable to focus at times, and that just made me angrily go :D cause yes, lots of ppl feel things like that, but when its paired with everything else that comes with adhd like executive dysfunction, chronic procrastination and insomnia, you'd think that they'd do something and maybe nOtiCe yk especially since ive showed all the symptoms since childhood- they did make an appointment for me to see a psychiatrist in June and in my head i just went FuCkiNg FinAlLy- also,, whenever i subtly bring up other symptoms and things like that with my mom, she continues to invalidate me and ToXiC aS hELL and she's been like this ever since i was a kid but i only realized that the way and what she did and said wasnt normal after my gf pointed it out to me. its kinda scary that i went a hell of a long time without realizing it and by that time my undiagnosed brain was hella fucked up by dangerously empathetic and self-destructive mindsets by lessons and little things like "get what you get and you dont throw a fit" and "treat others the way you wanna be treated" being drilled into my head by my mom,, also having little to no friends as a kid and being disregared in general all kinda caused me to think that from as young as 7-8 that i was close to worthless trash that only deserves to get treated like horseshit but still has to basically serve and be overly empathetic to everyone so yEa not to mention the total bullshit way she would try to discipline me by shouting at me till i cried for little things then nOt ApOlOgiZiNg, criticizing and trying to fix almost everything i did, getting mad at me for things i cant control like symptoms of adhd (and only saying she was proud of me after i got good grades in school which BitCh i shouldn't have to earn getting told something so basic-) cause she feels sOOOo entitled to be a parent yet she still tries to hug me on a near daily basis and tells me she loves me yet keeps up with the toxic behavior i think without even knowing shes being toxic and im just here like UHhh are you awAre of what your doing ma'am- maybe wanna take a look at whats coming out of your nasty ass mouth for once-

uHHH yuh anyway pls i require lots of fireside cuddles rn also wish me luck on pulling xingqiu in genshin i already pulled xinyan lmao anyway ilysm kokichi and you better have a nice day this is a threat-

-🍬

“you’re back!

wellll it’s really good you learned that about yourself!

i’m proud of you for figuring that out!

and i hope you get diagnosed soon...thouughhh i know that can be kind of hard.

especially with your parents not being too supportive.

which is super dumb!

your symptoms are like 100% valid and so are you! they can’t just take that away!

and your mom sucks. she’s totally toxic, you’re right! she doesn’t treat you the way you deserve!

you’re a pretty cool person, who deserves to be loved and respected! not criticized and left alone all the time!

that’s like suuuper unfair!

i promise you you’re not as bad as she makes you out to be.

you’re amazing, trust me, that’s no lie.

but anywayyyy your girlfriend does seem pretty cool!

so it’s nice you have someone to help you.

annnnndd...fine, i’ll give you some fireside cuddles.

and lots and lots of luck!

just to make you feel better!

and i guess i’ll also have a good day if youre gonna threaten me like that!

but you have to have one too!”

-Kokichi Ouma

#kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #danganronpa kokichi #seriouskokichiletters

8 notes · View notes

selfcareparker · 4 years

Note

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺��🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

2 notes · View notes

vent-inside-bitch-outside · 3 years

Text

by and large this blog has been one of the only places I feel truly comfortable sharing my thoughts. I’m not auditing my own thoughts when i type here. that being said, i wonder about other people finding this. I can’t tell if I dont want that to happen or not. Like, i’d never lay myself bare like this to another human being, maybe this is the only way i can ever communicate about my feelings earnestly with another person? or on the other hand, maybe people are meant to have a place where they can process their own thoughts without expecting, wanting, or even entertaining the idea of someone else reading through their “writings.” I’m not sure what’s got me this talkative rn, but if i’m reading this back at a later date or “imaginary scenario where someone else reads this” comes true, i’m like, typing the thoughts exactly as they come to me, hence the conversational tone. Im also not reading this back now for a reason that i cannot particularly articulate at the moment. Posterity? that’s probably not right. Earlier, i was listening to hip-hop and i was feeling really sad cause it was like, all the plaintive kanye west songs i enjoy and i was letting my sad fester (white boy listen to sad kanye song cringe moment) and then spotify fed me some really positive Q-Tip songs so im actually feeling kind of good. Last thing worth mentioning is that uhhh the reason my emotions are all stirred up rn is because I was playing amorous of all things and some of the more intimate (romantically, not sexually) moments made me feel... things.

like, the game would describe a passionate kiss or feeling safe while holding someone and i just,... yeah ://// I got really sad. thinking about it just now made me kinda idk get more energy. I wish i could properly articulate it but it made me feel things, loneliness, I guess? like reminding me of what i dont have, a simulacrum of what i yearn for. Ive got a lot of energy but im gonna try to go lie down now.

Not sure who i’m addressing right now (future self? reader whom I know? Some random tumblr person who found this? If you know me irl and are reading this without my knowledge thats fucking weird. Regardless of if you exist, i’m addressing some vague individual in the future. That feels weird. I hope future me is... better. If he directed you here (if he’s still “he” but i do not intend to discuss nor acknowledge that repress repress repress repress its gone ok) then he really isn’t the person that wrote this, for the better obviously. The me(s) that have put their thoughts onto this blog are not the kind of person who would open up to someone like that. If he gave you this blog voluntarily, tell him i’m proud of him for the degree to which he’s grown :). My mood has rapidly shifted to more optimistic, but, i am truly hoping for better things in the future. If future me is who’s reading this right now, do i sound crazy rambling like this? I know you can’t answer this unless time travel exists in the future lol. But also I hope you’re finding this in a better place than i’m in writing this.

This is uuhhhhh pretty cathartic. I feel like i’m working a lot out right now. I’m going to make a seperate post so i don’t have to read thru all this later but I just realized that i am at least a little better right now. i am wishing well for myself. I AM PERMITTING MYSELF TO FEEL BETTER, AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT. im not ready to say the L-word to myself yet but im getting somewhere. but god fucking damn i need to stop having emotional epiphanies at 3:30 in the god damned morning. Doubt ill feel this well in the morning (or afternoon more realistically lol)

sometimes i just get the phrase “I love you” at the back of my throat, like wanting to come out randomly. so whoever is reading this, friend, stranger, future self. I love you :)

Every day i try a little harder to become a better person i hope.

that’s probably what i’ve been missing recently, a sense of hope. I think it may be coming back to me as of late :)). time will tell.

goodnight, and I wish you well. Thanks for listening.

0 notes

florafey · 5 years

Text

Thoughts on QoN

I started reading The Queen of Nothing on 19 November, 2019, and finished it about fifteen minutes ago on 23 November, 2019. Much as I did with The Wicked King, here are my thoughts while reading.

Spoilers, of course, are under the cut

- Oak is EIGHT??? I’ve been writing him like a three year old this whole time lol whoops sorry Oak

- Idk how to feel about this whole Vivi/Heather thing it smells like manipulation to me

- Lmao Jude’s a freelancer gotta love it

- I have now named my Goblin Brain Grima Mog how dope is that name fr

- Jude is an adrenaline addict and that’s a fact

- “It feels good to be fighting someone other than myself” SWEETIE CARDAN LOVES YOU

- Oooooooh I like Grima Mog I have a feeling she and Jude are going to cross paths again, maybe in Faeire

- (Also not surprised by Grima’s prediction of Cardan being dethroned soon that boy hates his job more than retail workers during the holidays)

- Oh look, three books in and Jude is finally admitting her feelings for Cardan

- I love the juxtaposition between Taryn in her pretty dress and Jude literally being two steps from death and not seeming to care lol

- Hmmmm okay I want to believe that Taryn killed Locke but couldn’t this just be a way to get Jude back into Faerie??? Idk why they would want that but I don’t trust Taryn

- (Also I hope Locke is dead it would be Taryn’s one redeeming quality)

- ooooooohhhhhh shit Taryn’s PREGNANT AASHHSJSDKJDKSSKLDSJDJSJ HAHAHHAHAH this is too good oh no

- There’s literally zero chance of this plan of Jude pretending to be Taryn is going to go well. Or even close to well

- “Squeeze hug” awww that’s gonna be in a fic I promise

- This feels like The Parent Trap

- I’m sweating

- ITS CAAAAAAARDAAAAAAAN

- Oh and his tail is out wow good for him

- Fuck a duck I love his tail

- And gold eyeliner, stellar cosmetic choice if I may say so

- Yep I knew it see here she goes off to his chambers he’s gonna find out eeeeekkkkk

- He knowsssssss he been knew of COURSE he been knew how could I be so stupid to think he didn’t know it was Jude this whole time I’m a clown and a fool

- Wow I’m kind of soft right now I love my babies and they clearly love each other but they’re being so ANGSTY AAAAAA

- “Wisdom is for the meek” uhh??? Madoc what are you talking about bud

- Ahhhh see now Jude is getting protective over her throne and crown, she’s blooming into a Queen....good shit for sure

- Also Jude better be the spy she was born to be now that she’s in Madoc’s camp and he thinks she’s Taryn

- Oh, she’s going foraging in the woods? By herself? Yeah, this is gonna go great, Oriana, really

- Yeah def can’t trust Grimsen although I love how Holly Black describes his work and how they’re beautiful but also deadly and cursed

- I’d like to hear more about how he tried to kill Cardan with that ruby earring and failed lol

- tHE GHOST??? What the hell is he doing here???? Am I the only one who just thought homeboy was dead?? Yikes lol

- Ugh Locke was such a Man good thing he’s rotting now

- “You’re scheming” “I’m always scheming” yeah ain’t that the truth bby

- uh oh MOMMY KNOWS heheheheheh

- Well no wonder Cardan turned out like this look at how he was raised, poor boy

- I mean, to be fair, look at Jude while you’re at it

- Oh hey it’s the Roach

- OH HEY ITS CARDAN

- Awwww Vivi went to Cardan because she thought Jude was in trouble and not only did he go to the Roach to go get Jude but he came too !! wow for people who can’t stand each other they make quite the gang

- I love how inconvenienced Cardan seems by Locke’s death but not actually sad lol what a mood

- Breaking into Grimsen’s forge does NOT sound like a good idea no sir

- Ugh king and queen wow

- I cannot WAIT for Madoc to realize the Jude is the High Queen I cannot

- AYYYY MY GIRL GRIMA MOG what did I tell y’all, hmmm?

- Wow Madoc really just stabbed Jude like that and is going to leave her ??? the disrespect

- Ohh my god oh wow her blood is making flowers grow she’s a QUEEN wow look at that, you go bby

- Ah fuck Jude, you got set up by the bumb ass father you have

- ABAHAHAHAHHHAH this isn’t funny but Jude falling from the rafters onto the banquet table is on par with the beauty of Kaz and Wylan falling through the ceiling onto Van Eck’s dining room table heheheh

- @hollyblack can I breathe??? Shit girl

- Cardan said THATS MY WIFE

- Wow Cardan washing Jude’s hands herself??? This boy is in loooove

- Oak and Jude’s maid playing Uno ????? Iconic

- “You’re generally terrifying” oh same Cardan

- So Jude really could have pardoned herself this whole time!!!!!! Come ON sis how didn’t you pick up on that WE picked up on it (don’t worry tho we know you’ve been stressed it’s okay you’re here now)

- And Cardan really expected her to pardon herself I have no words for this boy

- Jude and Cardan’s relationship is so strange but at least it’s healthy now, you know?

- Look at Cardan being vulnerable and Jude not being mean to him for it

- He’s being KIIIIIND WHAATTT

- “This is my room, and that’s my wife” AAHAHAHHAHH

- Cardan touches her hair oh my gooooooood i’m dying send help

- Can y’all tell I’ve been deprived lol

- Hahahahah Jude trashed Lady Asha, as she should

- So I think I like QoN Cardan the most, although I did find Cardan in the first two books terribly entertaining to read about (Srry Jude)

- So Taryn seems to be behaving better than she did in the first two books, kind of being a badass, knowing the Ghost’s true name and all

Cardan likes hearing about slushy machines are you kiDDING ME????

- “Our marriage is an alliance” okay but you sleeping in his shirts isn’t, now, is it? Or how about him petting your hair? Or you thinking he looks cute in gold eyeliner?? lol Jude get real

- Aw I like this Fand/Jude freindship us girls gotta look out for each other

- Grima Mog more like Grima MOM lol

- “Big horns, little dude” LMAO HEATHER STOPP

- I’m enjoying Heather, I have to say

- Finally they kiss it only took TWO HUNDRED PAGES

- oh guys they really like each other im soft

- Casual hand holding? yes

- I can’t believe these are the same idiots who were trying to drown each other in the first book

- look they’re trying to be vulnerable and without armor I’m gonna cry

- I feel quite uneasy about this Queen Suren girl who’s parents have her leashed somehow

- Oh wow fuck Grimsen am I right

- Oh SHIT Cardan really broke the crown like it didn’t mean shit to him...the development...the wisdom

- Cardan really said I want my WIFE and my PEOPLE

- Oh wait fuck fuck fuck oh no stop wait

- Lmao Jude collapsing on the floor is literally me whenever I have to be in charge

- Okay there’s gotta be a way out of this, I didn’t mean it literally when I said Cardan was a snake

- Hey, Jude’s like, smart as shit, no?

- Hahahaha she basically said “Cardan is like, 90% of my impulse control”

- I love how Taryn is hyping Jude up throughout this while shitshow, I love how the two of them have developed past their book one probems

- The Bomb teasing Jude about the dust on her skirts made my day

- Look at Jude really having healthy realtionships with the women around her, I’m so proud of my little murder gir

- Nicassia better come in clutch here, I don’t trust Jarel or Nore not one bit

- Uhhh that story Heather told about the snake that wanted to marry the princess made me howl with laughter and I don’t think it was supposed to

- Vivi got Cardan a snowglobe that says “Congratulations on your promotion” for his coronation gift and he kept did DID EVERYONE HEAR ME I SAID VIVI-

- Oh damn Kaye alright no need for all that

- Ohhhh I had totally forgot about the dress in book one that Jude ordered but received a different one instead... Cardan sent it?? wild

- Okay I hope Jude knows what she’s doing but when has she ever not

- The UNDERSEA HEEEEEELLL YEAH

- Oh look and Cardan!!!!!!! Yeah Jude knew what she was doing that’s my girl

- Awwww look at that hug wow the development these two have been through is unreal I’ll keep saying it

- “I knew little else, but I always knew you” KILL ME

- Oh wow mortals and mingling more with the folk this is good

- Robert of Jersey lmaoooo

- So the Ghost and Taryn ??? Kind of funny but I’m kind of here for it

- I’m literally so close to tears and I’m not kidding they’re having a fucking WEDDING CELEBRATION in the MORTAL WORLD with a banner that says “Congrats Newlyweds” yeah I’m crying now thanks a lot Holly

- Cardan adjusts his paper crown in the microwave reflection so it’s skewed......I don’t think I can react any more I really afjsflsdk

-Wow that was better than anything I could have imagined, hoped for, dreamed of

- The character development, the plot, the resolution, EVERTHING was astounding I’m blown away

This was long as shit If you made it this far, I appreciate you lol. Now go read all three Folk of the Air books again. Go now

#the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jude x cardan #jurdan #holly black

126 notes · View notes

myheartbeatskids · 5 years

Text

Jon: how long ago did you see him, it was a long time ago, i know!

Me: it was over a year ago

Robbie: and did you think id wait?!?! O.O

Me: yeah.

And I just laugh. Cause I know he did. Watch he will tell me.

Robbie: well shit, I did! But how did you know?!?!

Me: it isn't about me, Robby.

Jon: wow

Me: its about you. You know what is important

Robbie: my kids

Me: yeah And yourself. That's why we get a long and i know you don't need any one.

Robbie: you know how important my friends are to me and i left them all for you

Me: you know you didnt. You know my email.

MWII laughs heartedly

Me: hush it Matt. I only saw one kid and I know you guys had daddy's girl and mommys girl. Did you bring both?

Robbie: yeah you know I did

Me: so you had someone waiting at home for You when I saw you the first time?

Robbie laughs: she was with friends. See that's why i get you, you're so strict!

Me: yeah well when i got to my car I cried. You had me all fucked up.

Robbie: but why?!

Me: because you don't just strut into a Wal-Mart 900 miles from home like it ain't a thing.

Robbie: I know! I didn't!

Me: I know.

Robbie: but why did you cry

Me: because you made Me smile.

Robbie: wait what

Me: you made me laugh. But mostly because I knew.

Robbie: that I left? And i made you proud? Hey I ain't a kid. I'm a grown man!

Matt laughs

Me: shut up Matt. I know. A kid wouldn't know what to do.

Robbie: oh

Jesse: I see this thing between you too. Its different than me and her. You two. Im gonna cry. Its pure joy.

Robbie: happy to be alive. We made it. Sabrina, you did, too. That's why you cried. Because you knew I left And took both my kids. You knew you cared enough about me to teach it to me. And you cried for you. Me. And everyone in between. I'm a totally different man because of you. I thought i was good. I knew I was good. I thought I was deep. But you made deeper my thoughts, my joy, my temper. That's what I see you don't know. How much you impact others. You type and you stay angry and you fight and you fight and you will until you die. That's what you told me, now isnt it?

Me: yeah And I'm not finished.

Robbie: but almost. Dad?

Jesse: yeah I'm there. I see I know her because of you. They're different, don't you see, Sunny?

Sunny: yeah. I want to be happy too

Robbie: see there. That's what I mean. That's how Sabrina feels almost every day and the Annie. "But doesn't every body" that's what you used to say. I remember.

Me: I used to always think about that. You were the first person in a very long long time I talked to about happiness.

Robbie: well You did good. It stuck with me this while time and it changed my life completely. And I want to marry you

Me: I could say yes. [I try to skip MWII quickly] whoa shit your father is sitting there

Robbie: what's that got to do with anything?

Me: Idk he might try to compare dicks or something.

MWII: wow I think I'm embarrassed. I thought I was retro romance but he's good

Bobby: I'm telling you!

MWII: but she got babies!

Me: Matthew!

Bobby: like hes an annoying younger brother.

Jesse: well You can! You're Tarah's kid!

Robbie: mmm. Well what do you think, Sabrina?

Me: well we could date... Man it would be So nice just to have a turtle shell so I could just hide!

Robbie: no I'm for the whole thing

Kenny: no I've been trying to get her to get with me for months and I started years ago

Robbie: but see youre too busy you don't know how to make time for her or how t9 make her laugh

Jesse: is that true? He knows how to do thwt for you?

Me: yeah. Matt, quit! You're not about to be watching porn and youre gonna get blue balls all night!

Matt face palms: i hate myself

Jesse: well You are insane aren't you?!?!

Matt eagerly: uh huh. And i think you need to leave Robbie!

Jesse: he used to take my hat and throw it out the front door. Sabrina found 5 hats under the porch one day all belonging to me because obviously i wouldn't leave but my hat would stay!

Robbie: he's a little orphan and hasn't found anyone to love yet

Me: hes like a poltergeist.

Jesse: well this is really romantic.

Me: yeah it's a little strange isn't it? And he's your son and every thing to top it all off

Jesse: do you care?

Me: no its just unexpected. Like when I saw you at Wal-Mart, Robbie.

Robbie: yeah I know! You ran off!

Me: well i didn't mean to initially. I turned to tell Annabelle but she was gone.

Robbie: yeah but you did linger, we noticed. Well my daughter did

Me: I saw you running after me

Robbie: yeah well I didn't know your car

MWII: ohhhh shit.

Me: yeah I guess that makes sense. But then you got in your truck and i thought your daughter had gone in the store

Robbie: yeah she did.

Bobby: omg this is romantic!

Me: you run really fast. Like I thought I was crazy I was all no.. he probably went in the store. No one with that short legs can move that fast! And then disappear!!!!

Chuck: remember that ghost truck yesterday?

Me: that shit was funny.., i was all dam I thought it was a real truck... Then i got disappointed it was!

Robbie: is that what made you cry, that I disappeared?

Me: no you waited to run.

Robbie: well i told her what I was gonna do first.

Bobby: which was what? I'm on the edge of my seat.

Robbie: follow her home.

Bobby: to do what?

Robbie: tell her how I feel.

Me: O.O oh

Robbie: you're as lame as me. Hey dad. She used to do this shit to me. All sure and secure of herself and I would be all "oh" "but" "uhhh"

Me: he was cute tho.

Robbie: oh i bet. Cause you kept doing it.

Jesse: well go get her and bring her to me so i can place my hands on her head and bless her

MWII: well go on now, you know I don't want to marry you

Me: no Jesse! You just wanna suck what's left of my brain!!!

I decide to go out and smoke...

Jon: she looks like me when I was 10 ans ahe wanted to save me from the kid factory and I said "this lady loves me too much!!"

(Jesse did)

Out side:

Me: Chuck

Chuck: do what you want

Me: no, Chuck give me some advice.

Chuck: I wanna marry you!

Me: Jesse! Please tell me you don't wanna fuck!

Jesse: i don't wanna fuck

Sunny: this is too funny!! Let me meet him and I'll tell you what to do. I'll be your bridesmaid. Me and Annie we will share duties

Candy: me too mom

Me: sunny! Well it sounded like you already decided!!!

MWII laughs hysterically: shes all WTF?!?!

And laughs forever.

Shome: no one can tell you what to do.

Me: I know.

Bobby: then why you ask?!

Me: it's just so sudden!

Eric: it's been over a year

Me: well see I been busy. And i was just telling Jesse and the kids that i don't need any one.

Bobby: but romance!

Me: but I'm not like that.. I've pretty much always been single

Bobby: well that's stupid if you believe in true love and you know MWII ain't gonna do that for you. He just tries to protect you. Thats all.

Jesse: you look sudden but you already knew. He did everything you wanted. Did what -- did you promise?

Robbie: yeah.

Jesse: see thats all I have to say to you.

Robbie: Well shit Sabrina don't forget to breathe!

Me: oh! Well shit!

MWII: shes so funny

Me: you and kept calling me dumb! And he was sitting there waiting why didn't you say something! Well shit!

MWII: cause i didn't want to! Fuck you bitch! You're my sister!

Me: well quit telling people you're my husband!

MWII: shut up. Don't contradict me!

Me: alright, so you'll need to meet the kids

Robbie: all?! 0.0

Me: what if I said yes?

Robbie: 2 and Candy. You know my 2 already love you.

Jesse: do they?

Me: mmmhmm

Jesse: how do you know?

Me: they told me.

Jesse: well shit, idc go on get married

Me: you gonna pay for my wedding, daddy? You know you always wanted to be my daddy.

Jesse: I don't talk about money with strangers that fuck my son

Me: how about kids you baby sit and encourage you to take back your living ane abused kids like Jon?

Jesse: that's your kid, too. I'm bored. Hurry up and get married so i have something to do.

Me: brain wssh us? Do our laundry? Dirty dishes? Cook us food?

Jesse: are you not an adult?

Me: half the time lately im five or 6 why? Dont act like you're not 22.

Jesse: don't tell my real age. People can do math you know.

Me: ok, well Robby. Let's hang out, I don't have time to schedule a wedding

Robbie: oh yes you do!

MWII: sabrina goes what?

Me: no I was just gonna argue. No open ended questions, you know I stand my ground.

Robbie: oh friendly banter!

Me: well why aint you called or anything?

Robbie: well You look busy! And i just been working. And to be truthful I did need my time, you were right.

Me: well You do run really graceful.

MWII: shut the fuck up Sabrina you're just a nerd. Just say it Jesse you know you want to

Jesse: I can't! I'm shocked and pleased! Im surprised she actually found someone to love.

Bobby: now Sabrina don't cry

Me: wow that's a tall order! It's easier to get married!

Jesse: she's a tough cookie, and it would be one of my kids. I think that's pretty amazing.

Me: you know me and the bestie talk about this...like men living on their own to get to know themselves before even thinking about marriage

Eric: well now its time!

Jesse: I was wondering why you get along so well. I remember the first time you saw her, your eyes lit up with joy. No not at your parents in Okmulgee

Me: oh Oklahoma. When I was walking in the street with tiffany

Jesse: yes

Me: and you hid your eyes

Robbie: i thought they were making fun of me and i was already married a month and a few days And unhappy. I didn't want you to deal with that

Me: then I saw you at UNM after i gradh9and went to have lunch with the bestie.

Jesse: how do you remember that?

Me: because both times I said how did hot and sexy get on this Earth and both times he ran away too fast. And I've only said that about him.

Jesse: O.O well go on get married then!! Sunny you don't need to meet him!! That's what I prayed for! I put that in Mr Gloom for her!! God works fast, doesn't he!!!.?

Me: yeah. I didn't put anything in it, I couldn't think of anything. I knew I work too hard not to be a success. So thank you.

Jesse: well aren't you a little bitch? Seriously. You didn't put anything?

Me: I didn't.

Jesse: you sent me the link and you didn't?

Me: I didn't get to it. I was busy trying to fix everyone else's.

Jesse: like you tried to fix his.

Me: i should put wrinkles tho, I noticed my frown lines are deep and solid

Jesse: there's always next year

Me: i figured if I just smiled more, they would go away on their own. So it looks like you already put it in for me this year.

Bobby: well fucking shit! Im gonna cry!

Just about every one else: its about time you catch up!!

Bobby breaths it back in: there I'm caught up... O no I'm not!

Robbie: well You know you could be kissing and they will pucker up.

Jesse: looks like I did it for you two times.

https://burnzozobra.com/all-about-zozobra/

8 notes · View notes

hiraethstill · 5 years

Text

THIS WEEK AND LAST WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (7/16 and 7/23)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

7/16 LIVEBLOG:

IMMEDIATE assault by eijun's handsome face

and his DETERMINATION

every time the OP comes on im like where are the babies? THERE THEY ARE @ firsties

the way i GASPED

THIS IS HOW WE FELL IN LOVE WITH EIJUN I TELL YOU

haha poor audience member doesnt know sawamura is mostly good at swinging from the bunt stance

eijun... you have every right to be frustrated

ugh... the way he looks when he was a doormat to the ace... i feel this too much my chest hurts

"if i had pitched like furuya did today i wouldve been subbed out" TOO TRUE AND OUCH

HE HITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

THE BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGENDDD

AND JUST LOOK AT ASADA AND KUKI'S F A C E S

DOUBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

lmao did eijun learn to run bases from mochi? now i want this

uhhh the announcer was wrong? the STANDS were all cheering and happy, it was mostly the dugout that was surprised

bc this is level of trust he gets from first string sigh

sorry all my frustration is here

HAHA OKAY BUT why does this look gayalso sawamura's little "na!" with the pew pew is so cute wtf

his lil cheeky face in the corner im hashjdlkdgj

haruichi and toujou in that shot look like they'd been helping him practice batting and it paid off

hslkhg eijun and his "hips!" i cant

KANEMARUUUUUUUUU

HELL YEAH TAKUMI NICE SHOULDER

nice eijun is safe

haha i never know who to root for bc i love all the bois

okay but

has anyone ever talked about how cool amahisa's eyes are???

i mean

look at this

so cool

yoooo wtf amahisa's voice in this part is really appealing??? damnn

so... kanemaru's a capable batter even if he's not top tier, why you gotta keep making him bunt

oh well, i like that face you're making kanemaru

noooooooooooo

it's okay kanemaru you did your best

cmon mochi bring him home!!!!!!!!!!

EIJUN ENOUGH WITH THE HIPS LMAO

yeah thats right mochi + other batters, give him the run support he deserves

AMAHISA THE DISASTER BI IM

"did he shave his eyebrows? he looks like a strong fighter" are you just checking him out

you'd want him to do those jump kicks amahisa

moon-face?????

omg i feel the tinglings... of a rarepair... amakura.....................

what was i saying about his EYES??

come the fuck ON dont leave eijun stranded on second!!!!!!

HHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

MY BOISSSSSSSSSSS

SHOW ME YOUR FACEEE

(and u rite yall amahisa is yabai)

THERE BE YOUR FACEEEE

IM SO EMOTIONAL

AND HIS VOICE

FUCKLE

AND HIMSTDVEEE

whoaaa that slowmo pitching sequence!

HARUCCHIII

oh hello eijun upping the tempo and looking great doing it

wow this super HD sparkle miyuki

EIJUN IS BEAUTIFULLLL and lowkey this looks like the OP

ASADA AND KUKI MY SONS I WOULD DIE FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

BEING SO EXCITED ABOUT THE CUTTER KAI AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I ALSO LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

HLKDHFS AURA

okay sun we gettin a lil cap happy

another pretty eijun shottttt

WHOA 3D BALL

3D SLOWMO BALL

N* H* TT * R

i feel like i jinxed him sorry eijun

also i LOVE when the stands yell OSH OSH OSH back

wow toujou's voice was. so cute??

noriiiii i love you so much and thank you

furuya silently reflecting huh?

YO WTF IN THE MANGA NORI'S CAP COVERS FURUYA'S NUMBER WTF ANIMATORS ITS ICONIC

awww theyre all patting him i wanna pat eijun too

NORIIIIII YOU ARE SO PRECIOUS

kanemaru's eyes are gray??

kousei-san.......... mayhaps i have.......... Feelings about this

"gureato" man tahara is great

HLJSKDFHKGSFJGKFHDGLDF BLONDE AMAHISA

THIS IS JUST FUELING MY AMAKURA LMAOOO

WHY IS BLONDE HAIR IN MIDDLE SCHOOL A RUNNING JOKE IN ANIME

kuramochi, amahisa, hyuuga from knb, alla dem yankees

oh my god is that suddenly shaved head amahisa still in first year he's so smol

wow kousei is so eccentric haha i love it

YESSS BRINGING BACK MANAKA-BOY

omg yakushi cameo!!

wow this is so pleasant to look at and idk why??

his eyeeesss

and this too omgg

I SEE NISHINO

omgggg are they who i think they are

YES THEY AREANIMATORS REALLY BE FEEDING ME TODAY

sorry mimei that was too much tension in a single glance not to be homoerotic

go shirasu-senpai!

wellll shit, rip zono and rip seidou

142 pitches???????? are they throwing out amahisa's arm imma fight

YO OKAY BUT DOES THIS MEAN INAJITSU VS ICHIDAI

"that wouldnt be any fun" uh you do realize you're talking about a person's physical health right audience member???

the. ace. is. not. the. only. player.

its okay this is the peanut gallery they dont matter in the long run

omg are the first years wearing their school uniform slacks

AWWWW TAKU OFFERED TO CARRY SAWAMURA'S BAG

taku always worried about everyone and sawamura looking rather nice actually

HLJSKFDHGD AMAHISA'S FACE LIGHTING UP AT EIJUN

omg was that a little bow eijun made at amahisa before moving on?

"something i want to ask you" are you boutta ask him out amahisa

im sorry i love eyes too much

and also! eijun getting the recognition he deserves!! buuuut from another team rip

cmon eijun he's trying to be nice tbh

lmao koushuu and shirakawa should meet... resting bitch face club

"i've never seen kousei-san take interest in another pitcher" THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO UNPACK IN THIS STATEMENT

LMAO HE DID HE DID ASK FOR HIS LINE

my sonsssss

yes asada and kuki, be free! go move around!

asdkfh i just squee every time taku

and these lines on koushuu look so nice??

intense son

scremmm

he's so happy and fired up to see koushuu fired up im

wholeass Sons™

lmao koushuu getting mad for sawamura

my inexperience... yes kataoka

teito and inajitsu coaches lmao

500K rivals to fwb to lovers

ive always thought kunitomo's neck crack is so funny

UHHHHH CARLOSHIRA REALLY TOYING WITH MY HEART HERE

THIS IS NOT OKAY

IM NOT OKAY

mochi looking mighty fine in this shot

aw... ejun sitting alone....

just wanna say oda and kuroki very lesbian in the ED

preview

ooh mei batting

sawamura and furuya watching so intently!!

INUI KENGOOOOOO

aw... eijun turning to harucchi for support

oh man third years...

SUMMARY (7/16):

eijun DOUBLES!!

rip seidou tho

amahisa's eyes??? pretty???

ATTACC BY INAJITSU CAMEO

taku offering to carry eijun's bag + serious senpai face

careful amahisa your gay is showing

koushuu mad on eijun's behalf lmao

inajitsu vs teito next!

7/23 LIVEBLOG:

ah yes, that tension-filled mimei look

CAN THEY STOP TESTING ME WITH CARLOSHIRA SCREENS

ooh this parallel of mei and mukai #1s

why does mei look so young at bat lmao

rather nice shot of mukai tbh

omg that tiny background akamatsu is adorable

WOW i love this shot

hell yeah mei kicking ass and taking names

boi... what you doin

KANETOU RIGHTS

kuraharu rights too!!

wow mochi's voice, never over it

BOI ARE THEY JUST SHOWING SHIPS LOOK AT MINORI

lookit mochi bein a good senpai

ooh eijun finally said no huh

mochi and harucchi look so concerned tbh i am too

mm and miyuki and furuya too huh

WHAT IS THIS BLEP STAHP

oowada always cracks me up lmao

esp when mine is so grave next to her

oh so mukai likes gambling? im not surprised lmaooo

INUI-SANNN I LOVE YOUUU

THE BOIIII

H E

H I M S T

omg the way tetsu says carlos sounds all proud and im soft

PRETTY BOIS DOIN J O B S

GETTIN THAT BREAD

omg two RBIs too good job shirakawa!!!

omg im so glad mei encouraged itsuki

have i ever mentioned

inui x mukai RIGHTS

ESP THIS SEQUENCE OF MUKAI (AND INUI) PRACTICING

BOIIII

that toujou face... some toujou and mukai art i saw comes to mind

DAMN THE IMAGE WHEN INUI HITS IM WOW

also is carlos actually wearing his compression undershirt holy wow

he didnt used to at least

ANYWAY INUI DINGERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

HELL YAHHH

omg was that a little tiger next to inui SO CUTE

oh my god "mei-san mei-san" too cute

LMAO TOO LONG

MEI I SWEAR

yoo mei you okay there

SLOW MO BALL

okay why does he look so good please

OKAY WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD PLEASE

do you know how many times i had to rewind for this screenshot

shirakawa also looks good frustrated fuckle

mei stop shakin off signs dammit

ooh nice akamatsu shot

seidou shares one (1) brain cell in this screen

much too short a game damn...

ive heard we were robbed of itsuki's blush??? cause hello i need catcher catcher goodness with him and inui

omg... they're literal children

SSLKDFHLSKDHGSSTOPPPPPPPPP

IM WEAK OKAY

I KNOW IT

I ACCEPT IT

HOW DAREMSTDVE

AND HIS V O I C E

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF

hahaha anyway im just laughing at carlos being a momentary harada

"mei-san" !!!

mei x mukai... so chaotic

wow amahisa looks so nice???

lmao they really didnt HAVE to put harucchi in the bg when miyuki's talking to furuya but they DID

miyuki... looking at mei too long not to be homo there

eijun :c

oh man

that really hurt

the face of a SON tho

"so you are human after all" so many things i want to say about this

sawamura... doesn't seem to hold a grudge against furuya at all and honestly wow...

tho its def not furuya's fault i think thats a mark of him being pretty mature!

anyway im glad furuya wants to watch the video too

also nabe!!!!! i wonder how close eijun and nabe are and how many times eijun has bothered him for the videos haha

ochiai, a backup catcher... interesting

"he must overcome this on his own" do you know how many problems there are with this statement

yeah it wasnt fair

"for better or for worse" are you kidding

oh furusawa lmaoo

and nabe just patient over there

oh hello masayui and kanetou

anime fist clench

koushuu!!!

oh man miyuki introspection......... i know where this is going.........

appreciating sawamura's hard work and optimism!!!!!

HE IS READY DAMMIT

how many more times does he have to prove it to you

loveLY but also reused?

WOW IM EMOTIONAL ALL THESE MEMORIES...

ALSO THIS IS PRETTY DAMN GAY...

and the shadow of miyuki in the background... WOW

three months............. until the third years retire...........................................

im not okA Y............................

all the things this smile hides

preview

BOI YOU ALREADY PITCH THAT WELL

wow too many sons

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

BABY TAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

AND BABY KOUSHUU

END CARD WITH MANAGERS AAA CUTE

SUMMARY (7/26):

mei kicking ass and taking names

mukai and his fooken BLEP

PRETTY INAJITSU BOIS DOIN JOBS

INUI DINGERRR

inui/mukai rights

mei + mukai actual CHILDREN

carloshira stop attaccing sun challenge f a iled

eijun @ harucchi :c

three months...

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

#daiya spoilers #daiya no ace act ii #daiya no ace #inajitsu #teito #seidou

1 note · View note

dreammutual-remade · 6 years

Text

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like ��- the daily newspaper team” or smth

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

503 notes · View notes

stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years

Text

A kpop newbie’s reaction to MAMAMOO

Alexa: bold

Alex: italic

today you’ll react to Mamamoo even though you technically already know them

i mean, i don't know all that much about them, really. so this should still be interesting

well, as before, first thing that comes to mind

should i do the top one or

they’re in the same order. we love consistent queens.

hmm... wheein? then uhhh, s-solar..? then moonbyul and of course my queen.

did you guess them or. you got two of them right !!

i did in fact guess them. oh. fuck it, i'll take it

hwasa and solar, m-my baby. the first one is moonbyul and the third one is wheein

i figured

and apparently this is their formation in every group photo ever

oh, good to know

so, the first one is moonbyul. how old do you think she is and what’s her personality

she's 23 or 24, and she's a lovable goofball

is she a singer or the rapper

f uc k uhhhuuhhhhh singer

smol baby child. yeah, she's born in 1992, so she's around that age in this photo i think. i’m not sure when it was released. she's the rapper in the group, so her image on stage is cool

i knew it was either her or solar, smh. i remember it distinctively from that height song.

but irl she's greasy and flirts with everyone, tomboy-ish and probably gay idk

alright, so she's the cool one

yeah, she's also the tallest, staying proud at 165 cm

that image was misleading smh. she looks like a silly nerd in it/ are you trying to sabotage my score, miss <-<

i mean, she Is a silly nerd. she usually makes lives with solar and flirts with her all the time and gets herself some slaps on the arm. and she gay panics on stage every time hwasa is in her close vicinity. and she's known for having heart eyes every time a girl talks and she's also the Girl Crush of the entire industry lmao

first we had heart smile now we have heart eyes soon enough you'll be describing a monster from soma. a walking blob made of exposed, beating hearts.

oH SHUT UP

*then i showed him the Wonderful Confession Immortal Songs performance*

that middle aged lady fangirling after hwasa goes "look at me now" lmfao

sadfrghgfdsDFGHJK ME.

this is fokin great. i just got to the rap part. fam they're genuinely talented don't @ me

mamamoo are known for making every show their concert lmao

pff. it do be like that, and i wouldn't have it any other way. a bunch of girl dancers suddenly appeared and i thought my vision was going blurry and i was seeing double. anyway, the rap works surprisingly well, considering the general tone of the song.

moonbyul also has two tattoos. i don’t know what one of them says, i think its just her family portrait.

w h o l e s o m e

but the other one says “N'oublie pas de t'aimer”

alrighty my grill next up is your bias

give her an age

i'll say 24. and she's a singer

she is 27 :)

oof, can you really blame me tho

i can’t. she has an actual baby face. what’s her personality?

i imagine she's sweet and soft, but can be jokingly sassy and teases the others sometimes

oof, she wishes. she’s the oldest, and the leader, but the other members always bulli her. she’s the mom friend though, and the best at english, even tho her english isn’t all that good anyway sdfghds. and shes a complete goofball

awh ;; is she the short one, then?

nop, shes the second tallest

wait hold up how can the leader be the one who gets bullied this doesn't add up

*then i showed him this marvellous video*

2 seconds in and i've seen enough

*then i showed him the Passion Flower Immortal Songs performance*

solar doesn't have any tattoo but she's scared of bugs so there's that

wholesome. she's a quality idol i like her. this song is dope yo.

the one wearing a hat there is wheein

the wheeout puns are overwhelming ngl

,,,,,,,,,,they fucking are. once u wheein u cant wheeout. she's the same age as hwasa, but a few months older, so hwasa is considered the actual "maknae" (which means youngest member

that much i know. mainly because i googled it a while ago

and here's wheein with short hair cuz fuck yeah

whats her personality?

she's uhh the Short One (tm)

yes, that too. she is Evil

idk, she seems like a sassy singer, but that's just a shallow impression. does she tease the other members a lot, or.. <<

tbh, she is pretty sassy. she's also very carefree and a derp. but she does tease the other members a lot and laughs when something funny and unfortunate happens to them. she's been friends with hwasa since middle school, and they have a couple tattoo

ooh, noice

on their ankle, they both have "resonance"

i've seen a picture of that somewhere, if i recall..

she has two other tattoos. one she drew herself, and one that says "la vie est courte l'art est long"

what's with the french affiliation. should i be learning french instead of korean?

probably.

*i showed him that infamous “mamamoo sold their friendship for ice cream” video*

"hyejin-ah, you know your thighs are the size of your face, right?" i told you, wheein is evil

c r i t i c a l h i t

hwasa :) what do you think her personality is like lmao

she's the serious one (sarcastic humor <<3), the lead rapper but also sings (i noticed this by watching some performances)(edited)i also know that she cooks for them, so extra mom friend points there and she's very independent, but also warm

omf u really are whipped for her

<-<;;;

apparently she really likes beyonce, so some fans call her ahn-yance

yep, shes also a big rihanna fan, and work is her hoe anthem

that's dumb, on one hand because it kinda sounds like "annoyance", and on the other because bey-ahn-ce is a much better pun. i would perform umbrella for her like tom holland, don't @ me

oh, also, hwasa has four tattoos. the "resonance" one, one on the back of her neck, with "maria", her christian name, cuz she is Holy

oh shiet. that name fits her well actually ;;

one on her arm saying “Paradise is where you are”

if she's in your immediate vicinity, then obviously

and one right above that one, that’s a triquetra

mamamoo are well known in korea, and most of their fans are girls!! i think theyre the group that appeals the most to girls there actually

oh, that's interesting

and here are some songs

*i showed him “Words don’t come easy”*

this is what we call s m o o t h g u i t a r. and that sexy sax, oh boye (and here is where alex’s inner Shiverbert Creepstein came out, god bless, the only writer i stan) this one's really nice, i'd love to listen to it in a cafe. there's this really nice mental image that you'll never achieve, but it's nice to think of anyway. just sitting alone in the corner of a dimly-lit cafe, watching the performers on the stage sing as you down another shot, people taking quick glances in your direction and wondering what it is you're thinking about, when in fact you're just listening to the music mix in with the raindrops hitting against the windows. i got carried away, oof

o damn, mister shiverbert

<-< hey, nobody clapped

its a nice lil image, though

anyway, that was a great song

*and here i showed him “Decalcomanie”*

oh, this one's more i n t e n s e. the translated lyrics without any rhyme sound like some sort of strange poem

i know;;

noh-noh is apparently knock knock. the vocals are fokin great

:(((((( stop slandering them, theyre trying

i'm not roasting them, i just find it cute ;;that was a nice song. in fact- (he pinned it)

so, last thoughts on mamamoo?

god bless them best kpop idols out there hwasa please sit on my face

amazing

ayy, that was this week’s reaction!! alex was actually more excited this time because it’s his ultimate bias’ band

there are some things i (alexa, cuz alex never edits these posts) didn’t mention, im sorry if i missed anything important;; i decided to focus more on what alex thinks and says this time, rather than ramble about stuff y’all already know

i hope y’all enjoyed this reaction and if you want, you can leave suggestions!! buh-bye~ ^ω^

10 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 3 years

Note

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing.

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

0 notes