#uhhh in other news i have to go to the doctor tomorrow to talk about getting some meds refilled and for whatever dumbfuck reason

[necrotic-nightshade]

Man we’re barely a month into the new year and I already just want it to be Halloween season again :(

[amelinksanatomy]

amelink season 16 trying to hide their pregnancy from their co workers

Our Little Secret

A/N: I’ve started this with the 16x03 scene but with a twist to get into the rest of the fic. Thanks for the prompt! It’s a little long but hope this is what you were after, enjoy!

“Hey,” Link smiles, running down the stairs as he spots Amelia, “I was just trying to call you. Are you going to the meeting?”

“Mhm, on my way now.” Amelia smiles as they begin to walk together, “Have you uh... told anyone?” 

“Just Jo.” Amelia gives him the side eye, thoughts running through her head about how this news could spread like wildfire, and what would happen if something went wrong, “Which... was apparently very wrong and I’m sorry.”

Link noticed her worried posture, “Did something happen?” he asks softly, trying to grasp if she is ok, “No, no.” Amelia swallows hard, trying to suppress the nausea she’d been feeling since she woke up, “I just, this is scary enough, I don't want everyone finding out, I don't want all the eyes on me.”

“That’s ok, we don’t have to tell anyone, not until you're ready.” Link smiles, reaching his arm out to place a hand on her back, “It’s our little secret.”

“Thank you.” Amelia smiles up at him, feeling safe once again.

“Can I ask how you're feeling?” Link asks, quietly, as they reach the door, opening a side each and stopping to face each other, “Uh, sleepy... and pukey.”

They pout at each other, Link feeling bad for inflicting this on her, “My two favourite dwarves.” he smirks, causing her to laugh and shake her head as she turns to start walking again, making their way to the staff meeting.

The staff meeting had been going on for 20 minutes already. By the time Amelia and Link had arrived, almost all the seats had been taken but they’d managed to secure the last two. With every minute that passed, Amelia’s nausea worsened. 

As Bailey continued talking, Amelia scanned the room trying to plan how she was going to get out of there if she needs to. The last time she was pregnant, she hadn't realised until later on meaning she skipped all the first trimester symptoms. This time, she’d been hit hard. 

Amelia didn't know how much longer this meeting was going to go on for but she did know; she wasn't going to make it to the end without throwing up.

She could feel it coming. She knew she had to get out of that room. 

Amelia reached over under the table, placing a hand on Link’s leg to get his attention. He turns his head away from Bailey to look at her, immediately registering the panic on her face. He mouths a ‘What’s wrong?’ but doesn't need an answer as she lifts her hand to her mouth. She stands up, moving away from her chair and quickly beginning to make her way to the door through the crowds of people standing around the table. Although Bailey continues talking, all eyes are on her. Link quickly gets up, following her out the door. Link presses a hand to her lower back, guiding her out of the room. The second they were out, Amelia ran over to the waste bins across the hall, throwing the lid open just seconds before emptying her stomach.

“Okay. That’s it. I’ve got you.” Link comforts, having already scraped her hair back and beginning to rub circles on her back.

Once Amelia had finished, Link had guided her to the attending lounge down the hall, holding her waist to support her as she sat down at the table. Link poured her a glass of water, placing it in front of her as he sits beside her. 

“So much for not wanting all eyes on me.” Amelia says, placing her head in her hands and rubbing her palms across her eyes, “Everyone knows I'm pregnant now.”

“Amelia, no one knows.” Link reaches across to hold her hand, “Theres a million reasons why you could’ve puked. We’re fine. I promise. It’s still our little secret.”

“Yeah, right. You’re right. As long as I don't do that again.” she shivers at the thought of what had just gone down. Link smiles, moving his chair closer to her so he can rest an arm around her shoulders and places a hand on her still flat stomach, “And you, need to not do that again. Not at work.” Amelia smirks, rubbing her hand across his for a second before they both pull away.

“Do you feel better?” he asks as Amelia leans her head on his shoulder, “A little, I guess. Probably not for long though.”.

-------------------------------------

“Shit.” Amelia groans, standing in front of the mirror in the attending lounge having just changed into scrubs.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Link panics, turning around to face her from where he was stood at the sink.

It was just the two of them in there. They had been late to work because Amelia had decided she needed donuts for breakfast so, most of the doctors on their shift were rounding already. 

“It’s too small.” Amelia turned to face Link, gesturing to her stomach and the way her usual scrub top was clinging to the round shape of it. 

Amelia was now 18 weeks pregnant meaning they had successfully made it through 10 weeks of keeping it between them. The only people besides them who knew about the baby was Jo, Maggie and Meredith. Now though, almost overnight, Amelia’s bump had popped.

“It’s so obvious!” Amelia pulled at the hem of her top, trying to make it work. She pouts up at Link, who had made his way over to her side, “I need one of yours.”

Link smirked, walking over to his cubby and pulling out his spare scrub top. He hands it to Amelia, his eyes lovingly fixated on her belly as she changes. She smooths the new top over her small bump, turning around to face the mirror again. 

“That’s better.” she states, making some final adjustments to the way it was laying and releasing the breath she didn't realise she’d been holding.

“Amelia,” Link moves towards her, placing his hands on either side of her bump, stroking it with his thumbs, “Just remember, this is a good thing. Our baby is growing.”

“Oh. Uhhh. Sorry, I didn't mean to-” Link pulled his hands away quickly, turning to see who had walked in, “Alex, I uhhh-”

“You’re pregnant?” Amelia nods, smiling, a hand subconsciously moving to the underside of her bump feeling relaxed that it was him who had caught them since she had confided in him about Christopher a couple of years ago. Alex walks over, hugging Amelia quickly and shaking Link’s hand.

“I’m happy for you, Shepherd.” Amelia smiles, “Thank you.”

Link wraps his arm around Amelia’s waist, pulling her closer as Alex walks towards the door, “Alex,” Amelia starts, pulling Alex’s attention back “Please don’t tell anyone.”.

---------------------------------

“Alright, Amelia, this is gonna be cold.” Carina warns, shaking the bottle before squeezing some gel onto Amelia’s bump.

Amelia winced at the coolness of the gel. She looked to Link, who was stood beside her, holding her hand for support and smiling reassuringly. Carina pulled the probe out, holding it above Amelia’s belly.

“Ready?” Amelia nods, taking a deep breath, “Here we go then.”

Carina presses the probe onto Amelia’s stomach and begins moving it around, trying to find how the baby was positioned. Link’s eyes were fixated on the screen, fascinated that he was looking at his unborn baby. 

“Everything looks perfect, Amelia.” Carina smiles, turning the screen to the parents-to-be.

“Everything’s fine?” Amelia asks, looking for confirmation before she lets herself relax, “Absolutely. This is a perfectly healthy baby. 20 weeks, just like we thought. Growth and development looking completely on track.”

Amelia sighs, relief washing over her. Link squeezes her hand causing Amelia to look up at him, their teary eyes meeting and smiles wide. 

“Here’s the head annnnd,” Carina moves the probe down “Heres the arms and legs, all 10 fingers and all 10 toes.

“Do you want to know the sex?” Link looks to Amelia, ready to go along with whatever she wanted, she smiles at him and nods her head gently.

“Yes, please.” Link says, squeezing Amelia’s hand in anticipation.

“Okay,” Carina moves the probe again, pointing at the screen “It looks like you guys are having a baby boy! Congratulations!”.

Amelia and Link gasp simultaneously, their smiles widening as they look at each other before Link leans in to kiss her, “Oh my god! Amelia! A boy!”.

Carina presses some buttons on the machine before pulling the probe away and wiping it down. She grabs a paper towel and wipes the gel from Amelia’s stomach and pressing the button to sit the bed up. Amelia pulls her scrub top back over her bump, smoothing it down and resting a hand over it protectively. Carina hands her a series of pictures from the ultrasound, smiling and congratulating them once more before leaving the couple alone.

“Everything’s okay.” Amelia says softly, smiling up at Link.

“He is perfect.” Link smiles back, running his thumb across the scan photo.

Link leans in, placing a hand on her bump and kissing her lips softly. After pulling away, their attention goes back to the photos of their baby boy. 

“Link.” Amelia breaks the silence, “Mhm”

“I think I'm ready to tell people about him.” she says, smiling and placing her hand over where his resides on her belly, Link nods “You sure?”

“Mhm. Tomorrow though. I want one more day with him as our little secret.”

[jimmys-zeppelin]

ghostin'

chapter ten

(table of contents)

(chapter nine)

april 3, 1976

help me

Ellie tried keeping her mind off of her potential situation after she got back home. As soon as she landed, she was at the doctor's office getting her blood drawn. The doctor said she'd have her results on Monday.

She observed how Jimmy had been acting in the 12 hours they were together before she left after their night out. It wasn't that he was on-edge, but he was definitely a little less than comfortable. And that was an understandable reaction considering how unexpected all this was.

She was separating, folding, and putting clothes away from her suitcase when the doorbell rang an incessant amount of times. Ellie knew it could only be one person with the insistence in which the doorbell rang.

The bell only stopped when Ellie finally yanked the door open, "Andrew, what the hell!" she joked. The dark-haired man nearly screamed with delight and engulfed the blonde in a hug.

"God, that was the longest fucking three weeks of my life! How was it? How'd it go? Did you break some beds?"

Ellie held her mouth agape for a second before laughing and ushering the man inside. He followed her back upstairs as they spoke, "No beds were broken, contrary to popular belief. But it went great. Jimmy said Charlotte really liked me after we stopped by a second time. And his daughter is so sweet."

"So you're cool with the family! Awesome. Now you know you'll probably be seeing more of them. Try not to catch the baby fever, though."

Ellie chuckled dryly at the statement, "You might be a little late on that one, Andrew."

"Listen, kids are cute, but when you actually have to take care of them, it's a hassle. Wait till you're old and wrinkly and you've already lived."

Her heart sank in her chest, would her life really be slowed down that drastically by a baby?

"El, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Can we not talk about babies right now?" She asked, pinching the bridge of her nose and crumpling up a shirt she had been holding, tossing it into her dirty clothes pile quite aggressively.

"Uh, oh. Seems like I hit a nerve. Did Jimmy say anything to you about having kids?"

"No, not exactly. He wasn't opposed to it. I just—I don't want to think about kids right now. Can we talk about something else?"

"Okay, fine I won't budge," he said, throwing his hands up in surrender before stammering in an attempt to find a new topic to talk about, "what was the house like?"

"It was beautiful. Huge. Like imagine my house but like ten times bigger. I know he doesn't need all those bedrooms."

"You two should've had sex in all of the rooms. A new room every night." Andrew said, almost excited at the prospect.

"What is it with your obsession in my sex life? Aren't you getting some?"

"It's a little hard for my scene of people, Ellie. And plus, it's not my fault your boyfriend is a total looker. I don't know how you don't just stare at him all day."

Ellie chuckled at the comment, "Well we did have a morning that we spent in bed. It was nice."

"You're keeping something from me. Ellie, we don't keep secrets."

"What do you—" Ellie tried to play off, only to enter a stare-down with her best friend. She kept eye contact for as long as she could before the dryness made her scrunch her eyes shut. "Fine! I am keeping something from you."

"And it is....?"

"I can't tell you just yet. But I will say one thing, I'm extremely worried about Jimmy. I walked into his office the other day because I was looking for something and there were just bottles. And drugs. All over the desk."

"What kind of drugs?" Andrew asked, leaning in.

Ellie folded up a skirt, putting it away in her drawer before answering, "heroin and coke."

"Heroin? I hear that shit is wack if you take too much. Was he shooting it?"

"He'd done at least three. He was completely zooted. Out of his mind. His arm looked like an inexperienced nurse trying to find a vein. Andrew, it was horrible."

"Oh, God. I can only imagine. I'm sorry, babe. What did he say when you saw him?"

"He didn't say anything. I got kind of mad at him afterwards because he knows I get worried when he uses the stuff. He tried to butter me up and say sorry, but I just kinda brushed him off."

"Aw, Ellie. Do you wanna go out tonight; get your mind off it?"

"I don't know...I don't really wanna drink this weekend."

"We don't have to drink." He shrugged.

Ellie eyed him suspiciously, "since when does 'going out' not consist of drinking?"

"I heard Queen's still in town. We could try to look for 'em. Maybe I can get Freddie to sign my chest." Andrew said, stroking his chest sensually.

"You sound like a groupie." she chuckled.

"Listen, you're the famous one, not me. I can be as whorish as I want."

With a roll of her eyes, Ellie picked up her hamper, walking off to the laundry room with it to get started on her clothes.

☆

Later that evening, after Andrew had gone home, Ellie picked up the phone. She held it in her hand for a second before hanging up the receiver. Looking at the clock, the blonde noticed it was only 6pm. A drive would be nice. She thought to herself.

Grabbing her sunglasses and a coat—it was unusually cold for April—and took her keys from the table by the front door as she made her way over to her car.

Deciding she'd go down to West Hollywood and stop at her manager's office, Ellie took the long way and chose to take her time while driving.

Turning on the radio, she just caught the beginning of "Help Me" by Joni Mitchell. She turned the volume a bit louder and relaxed against the driver's seat; letting the California sun hit her face and a slight breeze come in through the window. She forgot about everything that'd been on her mind as she drove down the highway, taking in the music and bobbing her head along to the beat.

Taking a turn onto Santa Monica Boulevard, Ellie observed the tons of stores and people that littered the sidewalk. As she slowed to a stop at a red light, she took a look across the street to find a particular head of bleach-blond hair. Rolling down the window some more and pulling her sunglasses down, Ellie's suspicions were confirmed.

"Roger!" She exclaimed without thinking. Her heart dropped to her ass at the realization that she'd just publicly yelled at someone she'd only met twice before. "Shit." she whispered under her breath.

"Ellie?" Roger asked in response. He was visibly leaning over and lowering his own sunglasses to be able see the singer inside her car.

"I thought you went back home!" Ellie said, nervously glancing between Roger and the stoplight.

"No! I hung around! The guys went back home," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I've been calling you!"

"I've been away! I should've told you! I just got back!"

Another glance at the light.

"Can I call you later?"

"Sure!" Ellie exclaimed when the loud blaring of a car horn behind her caused her to jump in her seat. She waved a quick goodbye to Roger before going on her way. It wasn't until she caught her breath that she realized she'd been holding it. She shook her head and took another deep breath, continuing down the street.

☆

"Carolyn'll see you now." The receptionist said. Ellie stood up, now with her coat and sunglasses off, she felt a bit more at ease. She said a quick thank you to the receptionist before letting herself into the office.

"Ellie! Sit down, babe." Carolyn said cheerfully. "You said April 1st."

"I got a little caught up in some personal stuff."

"I hope nothing too bad. You didn't overdo it on the blow did you?"

"No, no. I promise, Care. That's one thing you'll never have to worry about with me."

"I better not. Don't need you dying on me or anything. How was your trip?"

"It was great! Jimmy and I got some alone time, it was nice. I met his daughter. Absolute sweetheart."

"You didn't get knocked up, did you?" Carolyn asked, furrowing her brows at her.

Ellie practically jumped in her seat, her eyes widened, "No! I don't—why would you—?"

"Oh my God, you got knocked up didn't you? You were there for barely three weeks, Ellie!"

"I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I'll call you as soon as I can to let you know how it went. I just don't want to think about it right now." Ellie sighed, not wanting to think about her worst fears for another second.

"Fine. Let's see if the record company needs anything from you." Carolyn replied, flipping through a notebook that was sitting on her desk before looking back up at her, "I need you to get a song out, or even an album. Tell me you did something other than screw around with your boyfriend on your trip."

"I started a song, then I kind of abandoned it when I had an idea for a different one...it's a bit personal so it'll definitely be on the slower side, I think." Ellie explained.

"Got a name?"

"Uhh, it doesn't have one yet."

"Is it finished?"

"Nearly."

"Alright, well. Finish it by this week and we can get you in the studio in two weeks."

"I'll try." Ellie replied.

☆

Ellie sat hunched over her songbook scribbling a few words down and crossing out others. She chewed on her pencil, staring at her thoughts on the page. The blonde hadn't thought about the song she'd written while at Jimmy's house in a while.

Trying to hum out the tune she'd created, Ellie was about to run and grab her guitar upstairs when the phone rang; this stopping her in her tracks. Detouring to the phone, she quickly picked it up off the receiver, "Hello?"

"Ellie?" the man on the other line asked, his voice identifiable immediately as Roger's.

"Hi, Roger." she said, the smile on her face audible in her voice.

"Hey, how've you been?" he asked. "You went missing for a bit there."

"Yeah, I'm doing okay, I went to England with Jimmy for a few weeks. He played host for me for once." She joked, twirling the phone cord in her fingers.

"Oh wow, was it your first time?"

"No, not at all. I go back to visit him quite often, actually. When I'm not busy, of course."

"Right, right. Uhhh, listen, I was about to grab a bite to eat. Did you want to come with me by any chance? Unless you've eaten already, then it's a redundant question." Roger added quickly to the end of his invitation.

Ellie hesitated at her answer, although she didn't know why, "...Sure! Yeah, I was just gonna wind up making some macaroni and cheese anyway, so, I guess it's better to go get an...actual meal." She replied. Her answer was painfully awkward and she physically cringed at her response.

"Okay, great! So I'll come by in a few to pick you up. Say, 8:30 ish, if that's okay with you?"

She glanced at the clock, 7:55pm. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll see you then!"

The two said their goodbyes and hung up. Then, when Ellie started on her way upstairs—again—the phone rang again. It was Roger, realizing he'd never asked for her address. They had a laugh about it before Ellie told him the information and she went to get ready.

---

masterlist | playlist

Taglist: @diaryofafan17 @tophats-n-lespauls @witchesdust @jonesyjonesyjonesy @paginate54 @hejustsatisfiess @salixfragilis @princesspagey @reincarnated70sbaby @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @kyunisixx if you want to be added to the list lmk!

2-12-21

7-13-21

[starrysky-whumpfics]

Uhhh I can’t think of a sentence rn, but can I request a comfort/fluff piece for Dmitry and Anya?

OMG YES. LOVE THIS YES. Also rip, I’m sorry that this is late. 😭 Literally life keeps hitting the chaos button

This is an edit of one of my very first fanfics for the Anastasia musical! Also featuring my OC Alexei, as he is technically an OC for this fandom, but I also use him apart from it so that my writing doesn’t stick to one fandom always. Hope you enjoy though and thank you @starnight-whump for requesting!

——————————————————————————

The fourth of December, Alexei Dmitriyevich Sudayev was born to parents Anastasia and Dmitry, blessing them with a child that they would swear to love and provide for.

It had now been two weeks since then and Anya was taking a brief moment to study herself in the bathroom mirror, her eyes looked so tired and weary, a side effect of endless nights awake. She also began noticing all her scars, ones from the past and some a result from pregnancy. So many of those scars haunted her, reminding her of all that she lost and of the life that she used to have. She hadn’t realized before though just how many there were, how much her trauma had affected her appearance, or her self-esteem. She usually didn’t care much about her appearance, it wasn’t all that important to her, but lately, with the stress of the new baby and navigating this new phase of life, it was something that just happened to cross her mind.

Dmitry would never let her forget how beautiful she was to him though. Every morning when they awoke he would press his face to hers and mutter “You’re so beautiful” to her before kissing her forehead softly. She smiled to herself thinking of it, but soon that smile faltered. He hadn’t done that since Alexei was born. Maybe it was because he always graciously tended to their child in the early morning to let her sleep, but even that possibility didn’t really help her feel much better. There was always a small thought lingering in the back of her mind. ‘I chose him, but did he choose me?’ Dmitry tells her all the time that he’s been in love with her ever since that day when he was ten and she was eight. But that was the Grand Duchess Anastasia he had fallen in love with, not Anya.

Anya laughed to herself out loud. “I’m being ridiculous. I am Anastasia as much as I am Anya.” She murmured to herself quietly.

Anya was finally interrupted from her moment alone at the sharp shrill of a babies cry, little Alexei had woken up from his afternoon nap. She quickly made her way into the living room where his crib was situated at the time being before being intercepted by Dmitry.

“Don’t worry I got this one. You should go back to resting, doctors orders right?” He said with a smile.

Anya shook her head and bent over the crib to pick up their son, cradling him in her arms to soothe him. “It’s been two weeks, I think I’m plenty rested enough to care for our child.”

Dmitry just shook his head and carefully picked up Alexei from Anya’s arms despite her attempted resistance.

“You look exhausted Anya, did you even sleep last night?” No, but she wasn’t admitting that now.

“Be careful just grabbing him! You’re going to drop him doing something like that.” Anya quietly quibbled, not wanting to cause the finally calmed, and once again sleeping Alexei to start crying again.

“I’m not going to drop him, you act like I haven't raised a child before.” Dmitry retorted back, also speaking in a hushed whisper.

“As far as I’m aware, you haven’t!” She argued back with an eye roll.

The whispered debate went on for a few more moments, but ended, as per usual, with them kissing and briefly apologizing and then going back to the daily routine.

Dmitry loved Anya. Everything about her made him feel like the happiest man alive. Even when they fought he loved her, because when she was angry this fiery look took over her eyes that pierced right through him like a thousand swords. Anya always had this shining glow about her that seemingly changed depending on her mood. A mixture of orange and red when she was angry, yellow and blue when she was happy, purple and blue when she was upset, and green when she was entranced and euphoric. She was green when she looked at him, when they kissed, when he said he loved her. But today, today was different. Today she seemed gray, even during their small spout of bickering earlier she was gray.

“I know that you worry about me, you just worry too much. I can take care of myself sometimes.” She had said to him when he had asked how she was doing, sounding concerned for her. A long time ago, Dmitry had claimed that worrying wasn’t like him, but that had been the greatest lie of all time because worrying was all he did. ‘Is Anya okay? Is Alexei okay? Am I okay? Did I leave the water running?’ All that aside, he would make sure that she was okay tonight. He was going to put all other personal issues that he may have aside and make sure she was happy again. Because as long as she was happy, he felt that he was as well.

When evening rolled around, Anya and Dmitry were praying silently that Alexei would sleep through the night, also knowing that was like praying for a miracle. When they themselves were ready for bed, Anya went to turn off their bedside lamp, but Dmitry stopped her.

“Anya wait. Can we talk about something first?”

“I suppose, but tomorrow when you say I look tired again I’ll be sure to remind you that the one who told me to sleep more kept me up longer.”

Dmitry just jumped right into what he needed to say.

“I know that you said everything is okay, but I can tell when something is wrong. I just need to know that you’re okay because I love you and I want to help you if something is wrong. You don’t have to hide anything from me. I’m not going to laugh or get mad. I’ll just listen and then say whatever really needs to be said. And if you want, I won’t say anything but just know that I’m here for you.”

He sat up next to her, placing a hand on hers. Anya sighed and decided to give this a try.

“Have you had a thought that maybe didn’t make any sense at first, but the more you think about it the crazier it gets but at the same time, becomes more and more true to you?”

Dmitry nodded in response, allowing her to go on.

“It started with these,” she showed him the old scars that had been plaguing her mind, then the new ones that only made the matters worse, “and then I noticed you weren’t doing that thing you used to do every morning. And I know that’s ridiculous to be bothered by but it just had me thinking even further about us as a whole.”

Her voice trailed off and almost shuddered when she realized what she was leading up to say, the words that had been trapped deep in her mind for so long. An arm wrapped around her, and the sense of a cold hand touching her shoulder comforted her. Dmitry’s hands were always cold.

“Am I enough for you? You fell in love so long ago with Anastasia, the girl of your dreams. And sure, I used to be her a long time ago but now I’m just Anya aren’t I? Anya who has scars on her and in her mind, who isn’t as perfect as she used to be, and who isn’t what you were hoping for? I know I can’t be everything, but I want you to be happy too. You always say how much I gave up for you, but never what you had to give up for me.” Anya could feel her eyes filling with tears and wiped them away.

“I try to be her every day for you and at first it started so easy but it’s so hard because as much as I remember now, it’s never going to be enough to be who I was.”

Anya was lost and confused, more than ever. She discovered who she used to be almost three years ago, but she never bothered to discover who she was now. Who was she in this mix between Anya and Anastasia?

“I didn’t want to tell you any of this because so much time has passed that it just seemed too ridiculous to even think that it was on my mind.”

She regained her composure to try and act like everything was okay now. But the sound of a low and worried “Anya…” from Dmitry brought all of the emotion rushing back.

Dmitry looked at Anya crying and knew he had to say something. Strong, radiant, and confident Anya crying was the most heartbreaking sight for him to see.

“You are everything that I want Anya. You shine in so many ways and if you could see yourself the way that I see you, you would just be amazed. Those scars that you’re so worried about mean so much, because they show that you have survived and how strong you are, and they are a mark of how we now have a family. I love everything about you. I love you for who you are now and I’ll always love you no matter who you are. Whenever I see you smile, any doubts or fears that I had just go away because just knowing that you’re here with me is enough. I see you shine and I know everything is going to be alright. You aren’t ‘just enough’ for me because you’re more than enough. I love you Anya, please don’t forget that.”

Dmitry felt unnatural and vulnerable revealing so much emotion all at once, but he needed her to understand. He then felt arms wrap tightly around him, knocking him over slightly, but he just wrapped his arms right back around her.

“I will never forgot that Dima..” She said softly, the use of his childhood nickname making him just as weak as it had the first time she ever used it on the bridge.

“There are so many shadows in my life but you shine through all of them. That day on the bridge, god it feels so long ago now, that was the first time I felt home. I know now that everything is going to be alright as long as we’re in this life together.”

Dmitry pulled out of the tight hug and kissed Anya on her forehead.

“You’re so beautiful. And if you ever need reminder, I’ll be your mirror, and you can even be mine. Just look to me and you’ll see just how much you shine.”

“Thank you….” Anya whispered quietly. “Thank you for everything.”

The two wrapped each other in their arms and didn’t say anything out loud. They just sat on the bed and held each other tightly. Hours passed and the only thing that caused them to break apart was the sound of a cry from the living room. Anya and Dmitry untangled from each other and stood up to tend to the baby, they held hands all the way to the crib. And eventually the night ended with all three of them curled up on the couch as a happy family.

[aboyandhisstarship]

Humans are weird: Enhancement/ Ethical...even in the face of armageddon?

It is a common trope in most SCI FI that humans are on the weaker end of most alien species, with the glaring exception of this kind of universe, so simply…the world is slowly uniting and expanding throughout the solar system and you detect ships heading your way…what would you do?  

The woman leaned forward in the cell as the man sighed “doc your attempt to shift blame is not appreciated.”

The doctor spoke calmly “please do not mistake me for some whimpering bug, what I did I did for the human race.”

The man shakes his head “500 individuals and you knew it would kill all of them.”

The doctor sat back “I did, and I would do it again, imagine for a second…that you get woken up in the middle of the night by man in suits informing you that aliens are coming, and we don’t know if they come in peace but more likely they are coming to our world to kill us, would you care about the live of 499 volunteers?”

The man stated “once again, you are over stating the volunteer aspect of the program.”

The doctor smiled coyly

Sometime in the past:

The general looked at the file “are you sure Doctor?”

The woman simply nodded “he is exactly one of the People we need, his skill set plus his compatibility will make him ideal for the project.”

The general sighed “alright, let’s see what he thinks, Send in the Private.” Into his intercom,

Erickson entered standing at attention “you wanted to see me sir?”

The general nodded “indeed private, this is Doctor Vanessa Corbin, and she has a job for you.”

Erickson blinked “sir?”

The doctor spoke clearly “want you are about to be told is highly classified, and cannot leave this room is that understood?”

Erickson stood a little straighter “sir…”

The general briefed “17 hours ago, we detected a fast moving object on radar, moving for the outer edge of the System, officially no comment has been given, however we have been forced to conclude that it is an alien vessel, we are assuming hostile.”

Erickson blinked “why do you need me sir?”

The Doctor smiled “you have a certain rare Gene and the skills Nessacery for what we need.”  

Erickson asked again “what do you need…Ma’am?”

The general cut in “the world powers are in talks to unite facing this threat, and ship building has been on-going for years reverse engineering some crashed alien crafts with the work of Doctor Chekov…what we lack are ground troops. That’s where you and other like you come in.”

The doctor reached out to shake his hand “pack your bags…welcome to Project Centurion.”

 3 days later:

Erickson was in a facility on an island in the pacific ocean, he was the youngest there by at least 3 years, the eighteen year old scout sniper shifted awkwardly as Doctor Corbin appeared “hello to you all, you were brought here from some of the finest special forces on earth, everything from the United states Marine core, to the Special Air service. Time is of the essence so I will not beat around the bush, an group of aliens…possibly an invasion force is inbound and we need to be ready, as such you all be biologically, chemically and Cybernatically enhanced, I need Verbal consent to these procedure’s.”

There was a quiet pause before Erickson spoke up “I consent…”

His consent was followed by everyone else in the new room.

Corbin smiled “well then let’s get started.”

1 month later:

Erickson lay down on a table wearing nothing but his dog tags, as a doctor asked “how are you feeling Private”

Erickson chuckled “my mom is going to kick my ass after this.”

The doc chuckled “if your mom is able to, we didn’t do our job right.”

4 needles lowered toward his arms and legs as Erickson groaned “this is going to hurt isn’t it.”

The doc didn’t sugar coat it “like hell, bite down on this. Putting a piece of rubber into his mouth, he asked “you ready?” glancing over the restraints holding the marine down.

Erickson nodded as the red hot needles entered his limbs emptying their contents as he screamed and bit down hard.

Erickson felt the needles leave his limbs they were numb he could barely feel them as the doc said distantly “how are you feeling private?”

Erickson answered “woozy sir….permission to pass out?”

The doctor laughed “granted son…granted.”

Erickson muttered “thank you sir.” Feeling his eyes roll into the back of his head.

Erickson opened his eyes he was in a hospital bed; all across his body was a series of scars, running down his arms and legs and across his torso, he was muscled before but now he was even more defined he tried to sit up as a nurse rushed in flipping the light switch, wait the room was dark, it looked bright as day as he blinked “uhhh water.” Realizing his throat was dry.

The nurse gave him a glass as he said “I feel weird…”

The nurse nodded “you are not used to your new body, you are stronger faster and enhanced in every way you care to think of.” Erickson answered by vomiting hard.

1 month later:

Erickson was running in full tac gear at a decent pace, 90 kilometers an hour. He was running laps around the island, something that even toughest pre enhancement trooper would not be able to do in less than 3 hours he could due in 45 minutes…if he was taking his time.”

Erickson ran up to the only friend he made in this place, Michelle Galagar was from Australia and seemed to be a fan of all things boom as he accepted her handed water bottle saying “good run?”

Erickson laughed “no is ever going to challenge me to a foot race again.”

Michelle grinned “good feature for our scout to have.”

Erickson ginned “I think so, so you hear?”

Michelle nodded eagerly “they finally built them, power suits! Can you believe it…it’s like a cheesy sci fi show!”

Erickson shook his head “except we are fighting a group of probably hostile aliens.”

Michelle laughed “sure but come on, the rule of cool!”

Erickson shook his head “I’m hitting the showers.”

8 months later, Pluto:

Erickson pulled his fist out of a dead bug looking at the person across from him “you ok ma’am?”

The pilot nodded she was in a blue space suit, contrasting with the larger green suit Erickson was wearing, flight Lieutenant Herndez  nodded “yes, do you have radio contact?”

Erickson sighed “mine got fried on the drop.”

Herndez sighed “well then I guess we are walking back to base camp.”

Erickson grinned “I can carry you ma’am”

Herendez smiled “I will bear that in mind.” As they rounded the corner of a small tunnel they came face to face with the queen with spoke mechanically “we mean you no harm!”

Present day, earth:

The woman in the hospital bed looked like she was in great shape, save for the criss crossing scars across her body, and the oxygen mask on her face.  Erickson plucked down saying “jeez so this is what you got up to instead of doing real work?”

Michelle laughed before coughing “what have I said about not doing that.”

Erickson smiled “sorry Ma’am.”

Michelle dead panned “pretty sure you out rank me now…about that?”

Erickson sighed “they said I had none of the symptoms…yet, but with my luck I will be dead by the end of the week.”

Michelle coughed with a teasing smile “hey I may be dying but no need to be selfish.”

Erickson smiled “what can I say I want all the speaking tours to myself.”

Michelle paused “looks like it won’t be long before you will.”

Erickson nodded “I went to the others, whenever I could, Corbin got arrested after the fifteenth one they tell you?”

Michelle stared like he was an idiot saying “this some kind of cold water memory test, everybody knew about that.”

Erickson sighed “she knew….she knew the older the candidate the sooner it kills us….”

Michelle grinned “how much did they say we cost, a billion per, man the bean counters must have mad as hell.”

Erickson rolled his eyes “yea that’s why they’re mad, not that it was a procedure she knew would kill anyone over the age of 23 within 18 months, and everyone over the age of 20 period.”

Michelle crocked her head “everyone over the age of 20?”

Erickson said lowly “should not tell you this, but apparently part of the reason I was chosen so young…is because it would not kill me, or so she claims…she said the rest of you were…expendable.”

Michelle narrowed her eyes “man I want to kill that bitch.”

Erickson laughed “welcome to the club I have considered using my training but…”

Michelle chuckled “but you got a squad now…you need to take care of them?”

Erickson nodded touching her leg saying “you know what gets me, it was pointless? They wanted peace, it was an accident…power suits alone would have and does do it now…we all died for nothing.”

Michelle pointed out “well it is not known if you will.”

Erickson sighed “I miss them, all of them that war brought us close together…”

Michelle laughed “buck up Ohio, think about it this way, soon you will be the last centurion and that puts you in interesting company.”

Erickson sighed “still never seen doctor who.”  

Michelle grinned “you should watch it with your girlfriend.”

Erickson sighed “Hailey is not my girlfriend.”

Michelle winked “how did you know who I was talking about then.”

Erickson narrowed his eyes “you have been “shipping it” for nine years!”

Michelle coughed “you two were alone in a cave for 3 months, don’t shoot the messenger.”

Erickson groaned “we were with the queen.”

Michelle laughed “Please I have met the queen; she is biggest wing woman in the entire galaxy.”

Erickson “can we please change the subject”

Michelle pouted “hey this is my deathbed, If i want to talk about you pining after a fleet officer I will.”

Erickson countered “I’m not pining.”

Michelle sighed “suuuuurrrrrreeeeeeeee,” Carrying out the word painfully long.

Erickson sighed “you done.”

Michelle sighed “for now, when you shipping out?”

Erickson sighed “tomorrow.”

Michelle smiled “visit me when you get back ok?”

Erickson grinned “wouldn’t miss it.”

 That night:

Erickson com beeped he rolled over in bed answering “Lieutenant Erickson.”

A voice said “hello Lieutenant, this is the nurse’s station at Johnson Memorial hospital….”

Erickson sat up “Michelle!?”

The nurse answered simply “I’m sorry sir Master Sargent Galagar, suffered total organ failure at 0100 hours local time and was declared deceased, she had you as her next of kin…sir.”

Erickson nodded taking a deep breath “thank you nurse I’m sure you did all you could.”

The nurse sighed “she was very sick, but she didn’t suffer at the end, take confront in that.”

Erickson nodded “thank you, I would like her body released for a service with full honors.”

The nurse nodded “we will make the arrangements for her to be released.”

 4 days later:

Erickson was in full dress uniform as he stood at the wake, no one else came of course, she didn’t have anyone else he mused to himself angrily, well that was not entirely true, a few of the big brass made brief appearances but other than that it was just him.

Hailey had been kind enough to extend the crews leave, for him and after 3 hours of standing around in the empty room he left with the coffin to Cemetery.

As the body was lowered he felt a presence behind him his heighted senses telling him who it was saying simply “ma’am.”

Hailey appeared next to him in full uniform as well saying “sorry I missed the wake, ships business….”

Erickson chuckled “thanks for showing up anyway Hailey.”

Hailey sighed “she was my friend to, and you two…I can’t imagine what you went through.”

Erickson sighed “I’m going to talk to her.”

Hailey said quietly “Will….”

Will looked at her “I have to Hail’s this won’t have meaning if I don’t find out why.”

Hailey sighed “you know why.”

Will shook his head “no I don’t, no one but her does, she went through with it knowing it would kill us, and looking back just power suits would have done it…why did she lie?”

Hailey took his hand “the only thing worse than a question is an answer.”

Will returned the squeeze “I have got to do this Hail’s.”

Hailey sighed “just be careful…”

Will grinned “had to eat worms in training, a can of them sounds awfully appetizing.”

Hailey crinkled her nose “Gross….”

Will laughed “talk to you later.”

Hailey nodded “yea will.”

 Prison cell:

Corbin grinned “you consented.”

Erickson countered “you didn’t exactly tell us what we were getting into.”

Corbin smiled “you all joined the military, you don’t do that unless you are willing to die for the greater good…but I doubt you came here to discuss philosophy, so why are you here?”

Erickosn sighed “499 candidate’s you knew would be dead before long, and yet you still went through with it why?”

Corbin sighed “please William such a question is beneath you, you were at the same briefings as me, all those projections…so ask me what you really want to.”

Erickson said simply “why not recruit everyone my age?”

Corbin sighed “no time to train them to be the force we needed, we needed leaders…plus a rare gene profile needed for the chemicals to not kill you instantly, as such a very limited set of population were even valid even fewer in the military and few still with the kind of experice you need to fight an interstellar war, in fact they were exactly 500….”

Erickson scoffed as Corbin smiled “a centurion, the great warrior of the Roman Empire, one of the if not the mightiest on earth.  And that’s what we needed and that’s what I provided, but I was always quite proud of what I accomplished with you…the others were wheat made to harvest, but you I created a true superhuman, healing factor, last projections say you will be able to fight for at least a hundred years if you are so inclined, and if that invasion proved hostile my name would join the likes of Robert Oppenheimer and Werner von Braun! Not being dragged through the mud now.”

Erickson sighed “the Nazi and the man who made nukes, great heroes to have.”

Corbin countered “the rocket scientist that developed technology that kept the cold war cold, and the man who paved the way to unity…yes I believe I would have fit in nicely.”

Erikson countered “but alas, the threat was non-existent and your legacy is paired with the like of doctor Frankenstein and MK ultra.”

Corbin said “did you come here just to insult me?”

Erickson sighed “it seems that we are the last two, Michelle died a few days ago…so just us.”

Corbin nodded “she lasted longer than my projections would have guessed.”

Erickson “sighed so that’s it? Just like that?”

Corbin looked at him “I know about every one of my Centurion’s, I know they all mattered, but we were going to war, and I’ve said it before and I will say so again, 499 deaths are nothing a snow flake on the breeze compared to you, you proved I was right!”

Erickson stood up “you have time to think about that doc…a long time.”

And with that he stood up saying “if they all mattered maybe you should not have thrown their lives away.”

  what do you think?

[mandelene]

Do you remember those FrUk college and university headcanons post you made? I would love to see you write out the scene of these lines, "Went through a lot of short-term relationships before meeting Arthur by accident in New York. Knew he would never look back after that."

Oh, gosh. This could be a whole multi-chapter fic lol. Here’s a little snippet I came up with. 

Some Accidents Are Worse Than Others

Word Count: 871

Tonight, Arthur Kirkland is going to get hammered. That's the plan. A pub crawl down the Lower East Side of Manhattan followed by a claustrophobia-inducing nightclub is just what he needs. He does not want any company, but he brings a colleague, Gilbert Beilschmidt, with him anyway, just in case he forgets the way home or loses his balance on a subway platform.

By one o'clock in the morning, he has lost count of how many bars he has staggered in and out of -- all he remembers is Gilbert's laughter, the sound of drinks being mixed, ice cubes hitting glasses, and the dizzying lights of some Bulgarian club blasting "Let's Groove" by Earth, Wind, and Fire.

"Just move your self, And glide like a seven-forty-seven, And lose yourself in the sky."

He has not done this for a long time -- he thought his wildest nightlife days were behind him. But it's the only way he knows how to repair the gaping hole in his chest.

Gilbert disappears into the crowd on the dancefloor while Arthur downs another shot of whiskey and tries to lose all sensation above the neck. He vaguely recalls vomiting in the men's restroom, and then goes straight back for another drink. Will the hangover be worth it when he has to go back to work the night-shift tomorrow? No. No, it will not be. 

But longer-term consequences seem to be of little importance at the moment. He drunkenly dances until he's too unsteady to stand upright, at which point he steps outside to get some air and smoke a cigarette in peace. It occurs to him that if he doesn't slow down, he's going to give himself alcohol poisoning, and that would be embarrassing. 

He sits on the curb and leans his elbows on his knees. Across the street, there is a man with long wavy blond hair and a leopard-print shawl and dark skinny jeans speaking loudly to someone over the phone in French. Whatever he's saying, he doesn't sound too happy. When he's finished, he angrily storms back inside the club, and Arthur lets his eyes linger, oddly fascinated.

When he has sobered up a little, he heads back inside as well. He almost forgets the exchange he witnessed, until he hears several people gasp and "oh!" and "ahh!" about something from the other end of the dancefloor.

The blond man yelling in French from earlier now has a bloody gash above his left eyebrow -- someone hit him with their glass. The bartender picks up a phone to call the police.

Curiosity getting the best of him, Arthur approaches the scene, pulls the handkerchief he always keeps in his pocket out, folds it into fourths, and presses it against the man's brow. It doesn't occur to him that this might not be socially appropriate.

"Keep pressure on it," he tells the man.

"...Uhhh, merci -- thank you." 

Arthur nods. "It'll need stitches...Your wound." 

The man frowns at him and asks, "How do you know that?" 

"Ermm...I--I'm a doctor...Resident, actually, so I'm still in training really." 

The man bursts out laughing -- a magnetic laugh. "A doctor? In a place like this? Incredible. What's your name, doctor?"

He's not going to give his full name to some stranger who could use this information against him. Even while drunk, he's not that dumb. "Arthur."

"Francis," the man says, holding out his hand for a handshake. "I study design, over at FIT." 

"N-Nice." Stupid. Couldn't come up with anything better to say? 

Francis removes the handkerchief from his brow to see if it's still bleeding -- it is.

"Uhh, you'll probably want to go to an emergency room for that," Arthur notes, swallowing against the nausea rising in his throat. "What did that person hit you for anyway...? Not that it's any of my business. Sorry." 

"No, it's okay. That was my former significant other...I found they were being...unfaithful and confronted them about it. I think I’ve known for a while, honestly." 

"So they hit you with a glass?"

"Yes." 

"That doesn't make any sense." 

"Life doesn't make sense," Francis sighs. "...Why are you out here, Arthur? Not that it's any of my business either." 

Don't say something terrible. "I killed a patient today...By accident. Well, I didn't catch something when I should have, and then it was too late, so it's my fault." 

That was terrible.

"Wow. I'm sorry..." 

Not the response he was expecting. 

"This might be forward," Francis continues, "but would you want to get coffee or something sometime? I owe you a new handkerchief." 

"S-Sure, and don't worry about it."

Francis grabs a pen from the bar, writes his phone number on the back of Arthur's left hand, and then goes off to talk to the police, who have just walked in.

Gilbert finds him two minutes later and slaps him on the back. "I was looking for you." 

Arthur vomits once more. Right there in the club. 

"Ughhh! All right. That's enough. Let's get out of here," Gilbert snarls, dragging him out the door by his wrist.

The hole in his chest is gone. He is a seven-forty-seven. Lost in the sky.

He wonders if Francis feels it, too. 

[peachyshojo]

uhhh so I need to call my doctor tomorrow

TW: life long mental illness lol (not funny trying to cope)

So I can’t be the only one that had this issue, you are in a bad period, a rut, a low point, and you go to your doctor and seek out treatment. Like duh you don’t like feeling this way so obviously you’d want to get a fix. Doctor prescribes medication, cool give it a try if it works cool, if no we can try something else until we finds what works. Okay so you find what works and take your daily dose(s) and you are like “holy shit I’m confident and powerful and this is my life and I have totally control and I can do whatever I want and nothing can stop me!” So your dumbass starts missing doses or even just straight up skipping taking your medicine because you feel fine as if you are “cured”.

Y’all know where this is going right? Now I’m wide awake at 12:47 am after working literally from open to close at my store and an anxious frenzy trying to find my medicine in my boardline hoarders den because “HOLY SHIT it’s happening all over again.” It’s always been like this for me. This fucked up cycle of feeling low, hitting a low low, having a moment of clarity to seek help, gets help, feels better, feels invincible, starts declining, hits another low, than realizing I’m back at step one. So with allllll this said, I’m calling my doctors office tomorrow praying I have a refill on both my daily meds and my emergency panic one too. And hopefully I can get the prescription filled in my city instead and not the bf’s town because I’m not going to be there as often because he’s starting a new job, going back to school full time, along with me working and possibly switching up jobs to get even more hours.

Fingers crossed it isn’t such a huge ordeal. I had an minor crisis tonight but I’ve definitely settled down (possibly from just writing it all out). I had a little fight with my bf today we both got emotional and I just feel like we have both been neglecting ourselves which sucks because we care so much about each other lol. I want to feel good again and make it last. There was a period of time where I couldn’t IMAGINE ever being off anxiety medication. And now in my adult life I can slowly start to realize and accept that maybe that’s the truth. And maybe that’s okay?

I’m in a really peculiar spot in my life. I’m definitely not a teenager anymore I do have a lot of confidence in work and my presence. I just wanna feel good again you know? Like be able to take a breather lol. Lowkey I think having my wisdom teeth romoval consultation has really brought this issue to light for me I think I’ve been subconsciously really scared to deal with this and now it’s shining though my issues.

I did have a nail appointment tomorrow which I’m going to cancel because I’ve been picking at my cuticles (my go to anxious habit, with biting my nails) so probably won’t be the best idea to get them poked at by a nail tech lmao. I’ll call my doctors office in the morning and see about my prescription and see if I have refills and fingers crossed I can switch pharmacies and pick them up before my teeeeef appointment in the afternoon.

So I’ll leave you with this: don’t be like me. Don’t abruptly stop taking meds without a doctor’s advice. You feel good because of the medication not because all your hormonal imbalances suddenly fixed themselves for good over the span of 3 weeks. Even if you truly believe you are doing well enough to be off meds or you would rather take a different recovery approach, talk to your doctors because depending on the dose levels or period of time you’ve been using them you could have withdrawals like any other drug. It could make your mental illness flare up worse or even give you other side effects (once I actually got very physically ill after abruptly stopping my medication)

Be safe and know that you have options when it comes your mental health treatment and recovery.

Take good care of yourselves and others❤️

[atths--twice]

Maintaining Social Distance

A virus threatens everyone’s livelihood, thus forcing a stay in place, self quarantine situation. How long will Mulder and Scully handle being apart?

Late winter-spring  1999 

It had started out innocently, coming into their lives like a quiet whispered warning. 

A memo was sent out that a virus was going around and everyone needed to be vigilant in order to avoid catching and spreading the sickness. A brightly colored page was attached, demonstrating steps to proper hand washing, and how to cover coughs and sneezes. 

Everyone had chuckled and shrugged it off, before getting back to work, making calls and typing up paperwork. 

But within two days, another memo had gone out, stating the seriousness of the virus. Suggestions were made to keep distance from one another and again enforced being vigilant with hand washing and covering coughs and sneezes. 

Two days later, masks were distributed and Mulder looked at Scully with worry in his eyes. Older individuals and those who were  immunocompromised were most at risk. 

Taking his mask, Mulder had grabbed her elbow and pulled her into an empty room. He had stared at her, words trying to form but unable to do so, as his mouth had opened and closed, and he shook his head.

“I’m okay, Mulder,” she had said, squeezing his arm. “Yes, I was ill, but it was different, as you know. I’m okay.” 

He had taken a deep breath, his hand going to the back of her neck, his thumb slowly stroking the small scar that lay there. She had smiled and nodded, her hand on his chest. 

Stepping back, he had put on his mask, and then looked down at the one she held in her hand. She had nodded again and put her own mask on before they had left the room.

Another two days later, the bullpen they were in, had been rearranged, stretching out the space between the desks, in order to place distance between each agent. As a result, she had been moved to another room, and neither she nor Mulder had liked that.

The point of separation was to keep their distance and yet, she had been by his desk or he had been by hers more often than would probably be wise. Though they had been masked, it was still wise to stay away from one another. 

They had been through enough quarantines in the past six years to know the drill, but this felt different. His eyes on her as he had stood in the doorway,  checking on her periodically through the day, made her smile behind her mask.

On the eighth day, a day Mulder would later call the new day of rest, they had been told to go home and stay in place. Gathering up paperwork, any open cases that could be worked at home, they had left the office, still masked, and walked to their cars.

They had stood in front of her car and stared at one another. He removed his mask, his mouth moving as though to speak, but the words had not come out.

Grasping his forearms, she nodded, her mask still in place as she got in her car and drove away.

She had stopped at the grocery store on her way home, stocking up on enough food to last for at least two weeks.

That night, she had called Mulder to be sure that he had done the same, not relying on takeout delivery, in case the person coming to his apartment was infected with a virus they were all hoping to avoid.

“No, Scully, I was smart and went to the store,” he had said and she heard him sigh. “Are you okay in there, Scully?” She had smiled, remembering him asking her that years ago, in a different type of quarantine situation. 

Her next phone call had been to her mother, to be sure she had enough supplies to last her for a few weeks, if the greater D.C. area was going to be on a lockdown. 

“Dana, you know how stocked my cupboards always are, no matter that it’s just me here now, you know I tend to overbuy,” her mother had said, reassuring her she was okay. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Scully had gone to bed, with at least a small weight lifted. 

It had now been two days of, for lack of a better word, self quarantine. Everyone was in their homes, staying in place to slow down the spread of the virus. 

Deciding that the time at home could be used wisely, she worked on the open paperwork that needed to be finished, crossing that off the list early

The cases in front of her did not interest her at the moment, her brain racing too quickly, wanting to help but not knowing what to do. The news was on constantly, playing in the background, causing her to shake her head and sigh as she paced around the apartment.

The phone rang, and she smiled, knowing that it would be Mulder calling for the fourth time that day. Being cooped up was not something that ever worked out well for him. He was a ball of energy most of the time and now being stuck inside, it was like trapping a rat in a maze. 

“Scully, I’ve finished this paperwork, cleaned out my desk drawers, the fish tank, cleared off the coffee table, and did two loads of laundry. How much longer will we be inside?” he said with a sigh and she heard him falling heavily on the couch. 

“Mulder,” she sighed, sitting on her own couch and muting the television, although her eyes remained on the screen. “You don’t have to stay inside your apartment. You can go out and take a walk, or go for a run even. You just need to be aware and keep your distance from other people.” 

“Might as well stay inside then,” he grumbled, and she laughed. “So, how much have you gotten done today? I’m sure that you have plans to organize things over there.” She chuckled again, thinking of all the things she could do, now that she had the spare time. 

“There are things I could get to and ohh.. I do have some medical journals I’ve been meaning to read,” she said, leaning forward and unearthing them from the two magazines she had bought at the store the other day.

“Wow. You’re really living it up over there, Scully,” he said and she could practically hear him roll his eyes. She smiled and leaned back on the couch with the medical journal on her lap.

“It may not be something you enjoy, but I do. So although the situation we find ourselves in is not great, I will take the time I have been given to catch up on my reading,” she said, watching the television with a sigh. She heard snoring and she laughed. 

“What? Sorry… I must have dozed off there,” he said, putting on a tired voice. She rolled her eyes and sighed again. 

“Okay, I’ve heard you, Doctor Scully. Maybe I’ll try to run some of this energy off, as long as you say it’s safe.”

“I do. Just keep your distance.” 

“Not a problem here. Talk to you later.” 

“I’m sure I will.” 

He laughed and they hung up. She smiled as she set the phone down and soon became engrossed in the medical journal, completely losing track of time. 

The phone rang beside her, causing her to jump, her heart racing. Shaking her head, she licked her lips and let out a breath. 

“Scully.” 

“Hey, Scully. It’s me.” 

“I thought you were going for a run?” she asked, setting the journal down, and standing up to stretch. 

“Uhh… I did. I am. Uhhh… do you want to go for a walk?” 

“What?” 

“Keeping our distance, of course.” 

“Mulder, where are you?” 

“Look outside.” 

She stood up and walked to the window looking through the blinds to find him standing in the middle of the street staring up at her apartment. He smiled and waved with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Mulder, you ran all the way here?” she asked, staring down at him. 

“Not the whole way. It was quite far.” He smiled and shrugged again. She sighed and let the blinds go with a quiet clatter. “Bring a jacket, it’s cold out.” She smiled as he hung up and she went to get dressed. 

Walking outside, she took a deep breath of cool fresh air, as she went down the stairs to meet him in the street. She stopped on the curb, keeping the designated amount of distance away from him.

“Hey,” she said with a smile.

“Hey.” He smiled back and turned to his left, walking down the middle of the street.

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, glancing at each other every so often. Finally, she could not stand it any longer and she stopped, turning to face him.

“You know, it’s about ten miles from here to your place, right?” she asked him, a smile tugging at her lips.

“I did know that, yes. I know it even more now.”

“No, I think you’ll know it when you get home,” she said, the smile now covering her face.

“I can’t disagree with that,” he said, smiling at her and cracking his neck. She laughed and they continued to walk down the street, still keeping the recommended distance between them.

They did not talk much, smiling at each other more than anything else, happy to see one another, even though it had only been two days, and they had spoken many times in between. 

Her hands were beginning to get cold when they circled back toward her apartment. 

She stood on the curb and he stood in the street with a smile. Giving her a nod, he stepped back and waved. 

“See you tomorrow, Scully,” he said and she scoffed. 

“Seriously? I think you’ll change your mind once you wake up in the morning and your muscles are screaming at you,” she teased. 

“Nah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said with a shake of his head and waved again, heading to the left and beginning to run. She smiled and shook her head, heading up the stairs and into her apartment. 

The self quarantine and staying in place continued for the next three weeks. She called and checked up on her mother every other day, discussing what they had done or the lack thereof, laughing at past memories and catching up on what they would do when they were able to live as they had less than a month ago.

Every day though, she would put on her tennis shoes, load up a backpack with water bottles, some snacks, two blankets, and leave her apartment to meet up her with Mulder.

Nearly ten miles was far for only one of them to travel, so they had decided to meet in the middle, which happened to be a public park with benches that were facing one another, but far enough apart that they would not be breaking any rules set out by the CDC. 

Mulder had taken to calling their times together, Ravioli Meetings.  

“Because we are meating in the middle. Meat. In the middle. You get it, Scully?” he had said, a huge grin on his face, laughing at his own joke. She had rolled her eyes and smiled as he winked at her. 

Laughing as she zipped up the backpack and set out, she thought of the last couple of weeks and how much she looked forward to meeting up with him. It seemed strange to look forward to them as much as she did, considering she had seen him on a regular basis, every day for the past six years. 

However, when they were told they had to stay away from one another, it made the need to see the other even greater. 

She blushed as she thought of Agent Michael Sprout and his partner Agent Lori McKay, knowing without a doubt, that neither of them were meeting up in parks, talking about nothing as they ate together, or simply walked around; being together, yet keeping a distance between them.

She knew what others said about her and Mulder and normally she brushed it off. She knew the truth about them, but she wondered what the rumor mill would have to say about their almost clandestine meetings that were taking place during the weeks of the quarantine. There was nothing nefarious and yet she knew what others would think if they saw them. 

Shaking her head, she picked up the pace, not caring what others would say. Mulder was her friend, in fact he was pretty much her only friend, and she would have missed not seeing him every day. He was not far, it was good exercise for both of them, and it broke up the monotony of their days, so why the hell should she be worried about what others would possibly think?

When she arrived at the park, she found that Mulder was not there yet. Looking around, she thought perhaps he was close by, as he was usually there first, surprising her as he was almost always running late for everything. 

Shrugging, she set the backpack down on her bench and unzipped it, taking out the blankets she brought with her. Laying one on his bench, she added a bottle of water and the snack container she had brought for him, it being her turn to do so. 

Sitting down, she glanced at her watch, thinking she had possibly gotten their ravioli time mixed up. No, it was their usual time, and he was still not there. Worry began to set in, and she took out her phone, about to dial his number, when she heard him calling her name. 

Turning her head, she saw him waving at her, still some feet away. He jogged over with a happy smile and she saw he had a deli bag in his hand. 

“Hey, sorry. I thought I would get something extra even though I know it’s your turn. I pass by this deli each day and the bread smells so delicious, it kills me not to go in and grab something. Today, I changed that and got us each a little treat.” He took his own food out and then set the bag on his bench and backed away. 

She stood up with a smile and picked up the bag, walked over to her bench, and they each sat down. Opening the bag, she smelled bell peppers and she closed her eyes, already knowing what he had bought for her: a bagel egg sandwich. 

Unwrapping it, she took a bite, as it warmed her hands. He grinned as he watched her and she smiled back as she chewed. They were silent as they ate their bagels, the chilly spring air blowing around them. Throwing out their trash, they drank their water and smiled at each other. 

“So, what’s the plan for the day?” he asked, leaning back, his arms along the back of the bench. “What’s set to be organized and arranged today?” 

“Who says I have any plans?” she teased and he stared at her and shook his head. 

“Please. By the time this quarantine is lifted, I won’t recognize your place. You’ve probably moved your bedroom furniture to the second bedroom and rearranged the living room.” She laughed and he smiled. 

“What are your plans, Mulder?” 

“God, so much. I’ve been able to get so much done with all this free time,” he spread his hands wide and she nodded. 

“Uh huh,” she laughed. “I won’t recognize your place, as it will be even more cluttered than usual.” 

He nodded and smiled, sitting forward and sighing, his hands clasped over his knees. Staring at her, he shook his head. 

“How much longer can we live like this?” he asked softly and she sighed, shaking her head. 

“As long as we need to, I guess,” she said with a shrug. 

“I miss you,” he said suddenly, his eyes holding hers. 

“Miss me?” she laughed, thinking he was joking. She waved at him and smiled. “You can’t miss me, I’m right here. You’ve seen me every day.” 

“It’s not the same,” he said quietly. Her breath caught and she swallowed hard. 

“What could you miss? What’s different?” she asked him softly. His eyes widened and he shook his head. 

“So much. Look how far apart we are, for one thing,” he said, gesturing between them. “This is not like us.” She laughed and then quieted as his face remained serious. 

“What else?” she asked, itching to stand up and go to him. 

“Touching you,” he said, his eyes searching her face as her own widened. “Your scent. Your knock at my door. Listening to you snore softly when you fall asleep as we watch a movie.” 

“I… I don’t snore,” she whispered, her heart racing, and breath ragged. He smiled and she let out a breath. Standing up, she shook her head. “You… Mulder… you can’t say those things, Mulder.” 

She started to hurriedly pack up the backpack, putting her water bottle inside along with her snack container, and her blanket. Zipping it up and putting it on her back, she could hear him protesting and saying her name.

“Scully. What are you doing?”

“Mulder,” she said, her head down and her eyes closed. “This quarantine ban is going to lift soon and we will have to go back to life as it was and you saying stuff like that…” Raising her head and opening her eyes, she looked at him. “You can’t say stuff like that. You… you just can’t… I…” 

She started to walk away and he called her name again. She kept walking, scared to turn around and let him see how much his words had affected her. 

They needed to stop these meetups. If this was how it was going to be, with him thinking they were more than they were, then they had to stop. How was she supposed to work with him, in close proximity, when he was telling her that he missed touching her and the way she smelled? 

She missed all of that too; his touch and the scent of him and his cologne. She missed it so much, but she was smart enough not to say it out loud. 

Or was she stupid? 

She shook her head, knowing that she had made the right decision. Cutting off access to one another was also a good decision. It had to be done, as much as she did not want it to be so.  

As she passed an apartment building complex, she heard loud, ear-piercing shouting from all around her. Whipping around, she looked on as people came pouring out of their apartments, crying, laughing, and hugging one another.

“What’s going on?” she asked a man who was standing close to her.

“They lifted the ban! We’re from from the lockdown! They found something that is going to help this virus!” He grabbed her and hugged her, spinning her around in a circle. She laughed as they stopped and felt tears in her eyes. 

Mulder. 

Stepping through the throngs of people who had gathered outside, she hurried back to their benches, hoping Mulder was still there. 

He was gone and suddenly she felt like crying. She had messed everything up, scared of her feelings and worried how things would proceed once they were back to normal. She had pushed him away, when all she really wanted was to pull him close.

People began to pour into the park, dancing, singing, and laughing. She was jostled about, as she turned to head back home, feeling defeated and alone in a larger crowd than she had been in in days. 

Almost to the exact spot where she had heard the ban was lifted, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she spun around, meeting Mulder’s eyes. 

The blanket she had left for him was hanging over his shoulder, and she watched his mouth do that adorable thing where he could not figure out the words he wanted to say. With a laugh, she flung her arms around his neck and held him tight.

His arms went around her waist, and he lifted her off the ground, spinning her around as they laughed. Setting her down, he looked into her eyes and shook his head. Once again she made the first move, holding his face in her hands and leaning forward to touch her lips to his, softly and hesitantly.

Their kiss deepened, as all around them people shouted and celebrated, singing and laughing, and fireworks even went off, much to the delight of those gathered around. 

Pulling apart, he looked at her and shook his head. 

“What was that nonsense you were saying earlier? About going back to how things were? Because…” 

“Shut up,” she said, reaching out again and kissing him, rising on tiptoes to do so. “That was a very stupid thing to say.” 

“I could have told you that, if you would have stayed and listened,” he said against her lips, before kissing her again, as people continued to celebrate around them, but all they focused on was each other.

______________

2008

“And that’s really how it happened? People were just fine?” 

“Well, it wasn’t an instant miracle, but it sure felt like it at that moment,” Mulder said, smiling at Scully, as she held their five-year-old daughter on her lap. 

“Because you missed Mommy so much?” 

“Exactly.” 

“And you missed Daddy?” she asked, turning to look at Scully with her big hazel eyes that were so much like Mulder’s. 

“That’s right, my sweet.” She kissed the top of her head and smiled at Mulder, remembering the happiness she felt that day. 

“Oh, are you telling that story again?” said a bored voice, as their eight-year-old son came into the room, sighing a big sigh as he sat beside Mulder. “You guys have told me that story so many times, I know it by heart.” 

“Well, we weren’t exactly telling you were we, bud?” Mulder asked, tweaking him on the nose. He laughed and laid his head on Mulder’s shoulder. 

“I guess not.” 

“Mmm-hmm,” Mulder agreed and they all laughed. 

“Did you and Mommy get married right away?” their daughter asked and Mulder shook his head.

“Not right away, no,”  he said, reaching for her and pulling her into his lap, as he put his arm around their son. “It was a very confusing time for a few more days, but we did spend time together.”

Scully stared at him with wide eyes, silently begging him not to tell them what they had spent their time doing. He smirked at her and gave her a small shake of his head.

“Was Mommy’s apartment different when you went in?”

“Not that I noticed at first,” he said, smirking once again at Scully. She shook her head and gave him a warning look. He laughed and kissed the top of both of their children’s heads. “No, there were things that were different in our lives, but the constant between us was the same.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means,” he said, tickling them both. “That sometimes things change, but they can also stay the same. Things with your Mommy and I did change, but they were also the same. She was the one constant in my life and always has been.” He smiled at her with a wink and she smiled back.

“Now, you two monkeys, it’s time for bed.”

“Oh, can’t we just have one more story?”

“Tomorrow, my sweet children. Tomorrow. Now go brush your teeth and we’ll tuck you in.” 

They both scrambled up, shoving each other good-naturedly, as they hurried to the bathroom, arguing over who could be the fastest and be done the quickest.

Mulder stood to his feet, reaching out his hands to help pull Scully to hers. He put his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug, as they listened to their children fight over the toothpaste. They both chuckled and she raised her head to look at him with a smile on her face.

“You know, I know it was a very serious epidemic, but without that virus we wouldn’t have either of them. I know you know that, but…”

“No, we wouldn’t have. There were many factors that went into creating the life that we have now and I wouldn’t change a day,” he said with a smile.

Raising up on her tiptoes, she kissed him; lightly and sweetly, as the sound of two children racing to their bedrooms echoed through the halls. 

“Our little virus babies,” he said with a smile, and she smacked his chest. 

“Don’t call them that,” she said with a laugh. 

“You’re right, I should be more accurate and say virus baby,” he said with a chuckle.

“One of many,” she said with a smirk.

“Yes, but ours was the first one born of the new year, so that makes him very special indeed. Got his name in the paper and everything, didn’t it?” 

She laughed and nodded, pulling him in for another embrace, remembering the day she found out she was pregnant, inexplicably and miraculously. And then the day that miracle was placed upon her chest, exactly at midnight, on the dawn of the new millennium. 

She laughed again and pulled back to look at him, shaking her head. 

“And to think they had wanted us all to practice social distancing,” she said and he laughed with her. 

“Everyone was concerned with having enough supplies, but apparently nobody thought to stock up on condoms,” he said with a laugh and she snorted, dropping her head to his chest, as she laughed with him.

“Mommy! Daddy! Come tuck us in!” 

He kissed her once more and reached for her hand, letting go as they got to the doorway of the kids bedrooms. Smiling, they went to say good night to their children, giving them a kiss and a cuddle each. Crossing in the hall to switch, he stole a kiss, and made her laugh. 

Turning off the lights and closing their doors with one last goodnight, he reached for her hand and pulled her close, dancing her across the hall to their bedroom. 

No distance between them. 

Not ever again. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

ever been torn between 2 people? There was a brief moment where I had feelings for both Ty and Joseph. do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? I feel like I’m not even on anyone’s radar, that’s how insignificant I am. is there someone you used to talk to every single day that you don’t talk to any more? There’s a few people. would you rather have long or short hair? Long. Even though it requires more time and energy than I have to give, hence why it’s always just in a pony tail or bun and gets knotty. :/ Anyone with depression might understand. Ugh. I’m such a mess. I should just cut it and have something that easier to manage, but damnit it took me so long to get this length.  has anyone told you they never want to lose you? Something along those lines. Guess they got over it.

who was the last male you talked to? My brother. what’s a fact about the last person who had their arms around you? She loves to watch the ID channel.  anything coming up that you’re excited for? No. wallpaper on your cellphone? My lock screen is a Bible verse graphic and my home screen is rose gold marble background. ever liked someone who was married? There was this guy who was my bio partner in community college that I thought was cute and he actually seemed flirty with me at times. He asked for my number, too, at one point and texted once in awhile. Well, it came up at one point that he was married. :O So, that was the end of that. I mean, we were still bio partners cause whatever, but I wasn’t being flirty or thinking something might happen anymore. Oh and then a few years later he texted me totally out of the blue and was like, “Hey, it’s Matthew do you remember me?” Not much else came from that, but yeah super random. who pissed you off yesterday? No one did. do you honestly have feelings for someone? Not romantic feelings. do you wear shoes in your house or take them off? Nah, I don’t wear shoes at home.  you love math, right? Uh, NO. when you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? I just keep ‘em on. are you friends with your most recent ex? No.  when was the last time you had a real smile on your face? Yesterday. did you cry today? Not so far. I did last night. do you want to see someone this very minute? No. do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace? No. My parents, brother, and I just let each other know if we’re leaving and where we’re going, though.  will tomorrow be better than today? Likely just another day. do you find smoking attractive? No. meet anyone new this year? No. today, did you see “that” someone that makes you smile? I haven’t seen my doggo yet today, it’s 5AM and she sleeps in the living room on her couch. 

who do you sit near in 4th period? I’m not in school anymore, thankfully. <<< !!! can you honestly say you’re okay right now? At this current moment I’m alright. do you tend to waste a lot of money? I’ve gotten better. I haven’t done much shopping this year and I don’t spend money on food like I used to.  are you asian? I have some Filipino. I’d really like to do one of those ancestry.com kits and see exactly what I am. what were you doing at 3 am this morning? Surveys. whose hoodie did you wear last? Mine. will you be up before 7am tomorrow? It’s 5:14AM and here we are. do you get shy around the guy/girl you like? I definitely do when I’m around someone I like. I’m already shy as it is. are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment? No. if your friends warn you about someone you like, do you listen? Well, I didn’t want to hear it when they told me about Joseph. :/ I’m very stubborn. has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Yes. are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? I’m not satisfied when it comes to my health and where I am/what I’m doing with my life. is there someone you don’t ever want to be out of your life? My family. you go home with a hickey, what does your mother say? She’d definitely tease me about it lol. are you currently talking to/​​​​​​​​​​​texting/​​​​​​​​​​​instant messaging anyone? Nope. as of this minute, what is going through your mind? My answers to these questions. And I’m feeling nostalgic cause MTV is doing Flashback Friday and playing music videos my childhood/middle school days. what did you do today? So far I’ve just ate ramen, scrolled through Tumblr, listened to ASMR, watched music videos, and I’ve been doing surveys. have you ever liked someone older than you? Not including celebrities, the oldest person I’ve liked is only a year older than me. who’s the biggest asshole you know? Uhhh. what was your first thought this morning? I haven’t gone to bed, yet. where’s the last place you went besides your house? My doctor appointment last month. That was the first time I left the house in 3 months and I haven’t left since. have you held hands with anyone lately? My doggo. (: do you miss the way things used to be? Some things.  who was the last person to call you? My mom. where is your phone? Next to me on my bed. are you a forgiving person? Yes. can you watch scary movies? Yeah, I love ‘em. last person to im you? I haven’t used any instant messenger in a long time. what did you do yesterday? Same stuff as always. has anyone ever said something that brought tears to your eyes? Yeah, many times. has anyone let you down recently? Not recently. have you ever received a myspace message that made you cry? I don’t think so, but that was over 10 years ago, so.

[allie-and-her-fandoms]

Our Silly Sick Days - Part One

AN: Hey guys! Now that I am officially done with the first year of college, I'm back to writing, and this time I chose my favorite, underestimated Fairy Tail ship, AlBis (it's also my first FT fic, yay!!). Before we get into the story, huge shout outs to @sweetmemories2606, who may have gotten diabetes from this fic (sorry not sorry Lu; you asked for this) and @ship-ambrosia (LY, Bree). Warning: massive amounts of F&F (fun and fluff). Enjoy (or endure)!

"Al, you know that you gotta go to the doctor. It’s for your own good.” Bisca Mulan repeated, concerned for the health of none other than her best friend, partner and crush, Alzack Connell.

“I know, Bisca. I really do. But… You know how that old lady reacts when one of us goes to her for help. I don’t want to go,” he wailed. “Besides, I think I feel a bit better now – ACHOO!”

“Al, you need to go to Porlyusica, to make sure that your sickness is not life-threatening! Who am I gonna go on jobs with, if something happens?” the emerald-haired Mage scolded her partner, the same way a mother scolds her misbehaving child.

“Alright, fine! I’m going. But there is no way I’m confronting that woman by myself; she’s scarier than Erza!” Alzack stated, a shiver running down his spine, not only because of the illness he contacted after their latest job, but also because of the memory illustrating the last time he encountered the ill-tempered woman.

“Then I’m going with you! You got sick on my watch, so there’s no way I’ll let you go alone. We’d better hurry though; your fever is becoming worse.” Bisca replied, placing her palms on his cheeks. They were burning!

“Uhhh, Bisca… Didn’t we have to go somewhere?” the Gun Mage asked, realizing that his partner kept her hands on his cheeks for quite a while, intensifying the redness.

“Oh, well, um… Yeah. Let’s go to Porlyusica! The sooner you get there, the better! Yeah…” the Requip Mage babbled, embarrassed that she did not remove her hands off his cheeks sooner. However, despite the pallor of his face and the redness in his cheeks, Alzack was still pretty much the same man she fell in love with. 'He looks like a teddy bear.' Bisca told herself. Shortly after, she felt blood rushing into her own cheeks. 'What are you thinking, you dumb woman?! You need to get your partner to a doctor, ASAP!' her subconcious yelled at her, slamming her cheeks softly.

“Oi, Bisca! Are you alright? Did you get it too? Your cheeks are all red!” Al stated, worried about his blushy partner.

“Oh, no. No no no, Al! Everything is okay. I’m fine. Well… let’s go to Porlyusica’s place, shall we?” the bold cowgirl quickly replied, trying to erase her blush from her face. 'You idiot,' she thought.

--

“You two have no reasons to be worried. It seems like this man right here has just gotten the flu. Now, I’m gonna prescribe some medicines for you, so you can get out of my hut already! Pesky humans!” the pink-haired Healer muttered the last part, while preparing some tiny bottles and writing something on a sheet of paper, as she mouthed slowly how reckless one can be; she really hated to see humans in her hut!

Bisca sighed in relief. Her partner was going to be alright. “I don’t think we can thank you enough –“

“You can thank me by not putting yourselves in situations like this and by GETTING OUT OF HERE! Didn’t I tell you that I disliked the human scent?! Now get these medicines,” Porlyusica snarled as she threw some pills and herbs in Alzack’s lap – who was too scared to utter a single word – “take them at the times written on this paper,” she let the paper fly into his hands. “AND MOVE YOUR BUTTS OUT OF MY PLACE ALREADY! First, that idiot of a Master and his bunch of delinquents disappear, now this?! Give me a break already, you blasted humans!” the healer snapped, as the two young Mages ran out of her house, and slammed the door after their departure.

“Well,” Alzack finally commented, “that went better than I expected, actually. I expected her to get that broom of hers and whoop our butts out with it.”

“That’s because we didn’t wait for her to get it out, like the last time.” Bisca replied, trying to catch her breath after the mini-marathon she and her partner had to perform. 'Well, it was all worth it; it was for him, after all.' the jade-haired mage smiled fondly to herself. He was so worth it, after all the adventures they went through.

--

“Are you sure that you are feeling well? Did you get enough rest? Did you take your medicine as Porlyusica wrote you to? Are you in need of anything else?” Bisca asked worriedly, while keeping an avid eye on the stove and on the steaming pot.

It had been six days since she and her partner found out he got the flu - and from that moment on, the Requip Mage has decided to pay him at least two visits per day, just to make sure he took his medicine, got enough rest, had enough food (at least for the day), and that he didn’t feel lonely. In all honesty, she had felt the pang of solitude just as hard as her partner, or even worse. How could she not, without him by her side?!

“Yes, yes, yes, and not anymore. Trust me, Bisca, I’m fine. You should stop worrying so much about me.” Alzack replied - still a bit feverish, but with a genuine smile on his face -, as he stood on one of the dining chairs.

“Okay, good to know that. Wait… ‘not anymore’?”

Alzack felt the blood rush into his cheeks. His words left his mouth without consulting his brain. Again!

“Um… What I meant… You see… Sometimes, I do wish I were with the others in the guild hall,” he confessed, as he covered his fork with his left hand and started staring at them, so he wouldn’t have to face his partner’s concerned gaze. She had already done so much for him! “Because there are times when I feel a bit… isolated from the rest of the world, since no one ever comes here. And… Yeah.” Alzack stuttered, while his eyes were focusing on the fork he was now holding between his left index finger and his left middle one. “By the way, have you… gone on any… quick jobs lately?” he asked his partner.

“Oh. I get it.” 'So, he was indeed feeling the same emptiness she did for the last six days', Bisca nodded softly. “Also, no. I didn’t even check the Request Board. It wouldn’t feel right to go own my own, without my partner.” she answered, the last three words barely whispered, though loud enough for Alzack to hear – causing more blood to rush into his ENTIRE FACE now.

“Oh Mavis, are you okay?! Are you having a fever again?” the jade-haired Mage shrieked, ignoring the pot on the stove and rushing to check on her ebony-haired best friend.

Alzack was startled by her reaction, but a small part of his heart was leaping out of joy when she started wandering her pale smooth fingers on his flushed warm face.

“Uhhh… No; I’m fine, Bisca. I do feel much better, I promise.” He stammered, as he gave his partner a small smile. ‘Thank Mavis she thought it was a fever’, he told himself. “By the way, what’s for dinner? It smells delicious.”

“Nothing much. Just some pot-au-feu. I asked Mira for her special recipe before she went to Tenrou Island. I really hope I got it right!” she chirped.

After five more minutes of small talk and glances thrown at each other (without the other’s knowledge, of course), the food was finally done. After the plate of pot-au-feu was placed before him, Alzack could sense its heavenly scent much better, and the dish looked mouth-watering, as the carrots looked eager to melt into his mouth and as the beef was slowly, but surely,tempting him to taste it.

“Alrightie then. I guess it’s time I left now. See you tomorrow, Al!” Bisca looked at the clock, getting ready to leave and waving her partner’s way. She could’ve stayed and spent more time with him, but… No, he needed his rest! Besides, he’ll be good as new soon enough, she’ll make sure of that! So, no matter how much it pained her to leave Al all by himself (until next morning), he was her number one priority. And he needed peace! But –

“Can you please stay?” Alzack asked, interrupting Bisca’s train of thoughts, as both his and his fellow Western comrade’s eyes widened after the rather bold request was made. “I believe it would be nice to have someone to dine with. Y-You’re not forced to stay, if you don’t want to! You might also get the flu! Y-Yeah!” Alzack nodded quickly, his voice trembling. ‘What are you doing, you moron?!’, he cursed himself.

“Well, if you asked so nicely, and if you are truly okay with it, I don’t mind staying here for a bit longer. I don’t have anything left to do anyway.” Bisca approved, as a scarlet blush bloomed into her cheeks; a shade that would rival even Erza’s hair. Her heart started pounding like crazy, while her lips were curving into a soft smile.

--

When she finally sat down to eat next to her crush, they both pressed their palms against each other, thanked for the food that was waiting for them and before they started savoring the appetizing meal in front of them, they tried to grab their utensils, gently brushing each other’s forearms in the process, making both Mages to retract them at the speed of light, the blush spreading even more on their faces.

“I know I’ve already said it before, but this is one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life!” Alzack preached, after a few minutes of awkward silence, sometimes interrupted by the sound of metal utensils hitting the porcelain plates. “Compliments to the chef!” he smiled Bisca’s way, neither of them being capable to blush any more.

“Thank you. I’m really happy that you like it, Al,” she replied brightly.

“Thank you, Bisca. For everything. I just…” Alzack stopped, before humiliating himself. No, this was Bisca he was talking about. His best friend, his partner, his… soulmate. He could tell her everything, and she would patiently listen to him, give him a piece of advice, or even hug him. She always knew how to make him feel like the best man on Earthland. “I just hope I wasn’t that much of a burden to you.”

Bisca looked at her precious nakama in disbelief, thinking she might’ve misheard the words that had just left his mouth. He was her precious comrade, and the one person who always truly listened to her, and was there for her when she needed him. And for that, she was thanking those who founded Fairy Tail for giving her a family, and most importantly, for giving her the best man she could’ve asked for.

“Al, you are not a burden. We’re nakama, remember? And not only that, we’re best friends. Family. Al, now look at me.” Bisca asked Alzack, and as he complied, she wrapped him in her arms. “You are amazing, strong, compassionate and the best partner I could ask for. So please, promise me you won’t think something like this ever again.” She pleaded, her dark purple eyes gazing into his onyx ones.

A sigh left Alzack’s lips, as he found himself nodding. “Okay. I promise I won’t think about it as much.” Now it was Bisca’s turn to nod. This was still better than nothing.

“That’s good enough. For now,” she told her black-haired comrade. “Now, let me go wash these dishes and I’ll go home.”

“Okay. But you’ll let me help. Please…”

“Al…” she sighed. “Okay; but just drying the dishes. Nothing more, nothing less.”

 --

Washing dishes has never involved more fun – or more water – before for Bisca. As she started washing the utensils, Alzack accidentally sent “a few droplets” of water her way while trying to dry the dishes, which resulted in her spraying him with a bigger amount of water, the little water fight went on like this for minutes, the forks and knives long forgotten in the sink.

“Just remember to take your medicine tonight and tomorrow morning. And if you need anything else, just let me now. Okay?” Bisca asked, while getting ready to leave.

“I will, no worries. Thanks again for everything, Bisca. And see you tomorrow.” Alzack replied, waving to the leaving Requip Mage. He was indeed saddened by her leaving, but he knew he’d see her again the next morning. And maybe, in the future, he’ll see her angelic face every day, every moment. Maybe in the distant future…

AN: Hope you enjoyed this story. Any kind of feedback is more than welcome!😊😊 👆👆👆

[slackingsatan]

Hi!! So I can see Nico spoiling the FUCK out of Levi. So an AU were Nico isn’t under Link, he’s a super super super successful&rich, and he just loves to spoil his little bean.

AAAAAAAAAAA AM SORRY I’VE BEEN GONE FOR A FEW DAYS. THERE’S BEEN LIKE TRAINING AND PRODUCTION STUFF WORK AND SHITS. FEELING SICK AS WELL… LOL ALRIGHT HERE WE GO..

———————————————-

So here some notes.

RichBoi!Nico AU

- In this timeline, Nico took another career path and became successor of some family business.

- His company is one of the benefactors of Grey-Sloan and other hospitals, especially hospitals that encourage medical advances and breakthroughs. Having a different career path doesn’t mean that his passion for medicine died.

- He visits Grey-Sloan and there he met Dr. Levi Schmitt, a surgical intern. Levi thought he was some patient’s relative and he escorted Nico to the waiting area.

- Levi is a clueless tiny bean about who he is. Taryn and Dahlia kinda recognized him. Casey knows about him because Nico’s company is a medical tech company. Casey would be the reason Levi would know about how big Nico’s empire and name is.

- Yeah teenie tiny Levi so clueless about the fact that every equipment of Grey-Sloan has Kim written all over it, and he doesn’t know AT ALL

———————————————-

How they first meet

“U-Uh sir there’s a waiting area for relatives and family members.” A young looking nerdy doctor said.

Wait, is he talking to me? Nico thought with confusion.

“I’m not really a-”

“I’ll escort you there.” The young looking doctor interrupted Nico’s explanation.

He doesn’t know me? It’s the first time that happened to Nico, that a doctor doesn’t know who he is. Every hospital he’s ever visited would recognize him. He’s like the Elon Musk of medical technology. He thought that no doctor in this world would not know of his name. He build an empire of medical tech and paved way to future medicine after all.

Nico followed the young clueless doctor, but with a bit of a distance between them in order to examine this rare specimen.

Light blue scrubs at Grey-Sloan? Must be an intern. He thought, still confused since even interns still know who Nico Kim is.

The young doctor opened a door towards the waiting area. He then gestured a ‘come-here’ hand gesture.

That’s cute. Nico thought and smirks while approaching the young looking doctor towards the waiting area. Come to think of it, he looks cute too.

“O-Okay. A doctor will come here and update you.” The young looking doctor broke the silence.

He still thinks I’m a patient relative. Nico giggled a little bit.

“I’ll be going now.”

The young doctor was about to go.

“What’s your name?” Nico asked, not going to miss a chance to know this cute little child doctor.

“Dr. Levi Schmitt.” Levi replied. “But everybody calls me glas- y’know what.. it’s just Dr. Schmitt.”

There’s a huge amount of trauma at the pit so Dr. Schmitt had to leave. If only there’s a bit of time to ask his number, Nico would have done that. He thought about it and Levi’s his type of guy he would date. Cute, nerdy, and sweet.

Next time I’ll ask him out.

“Thank god you’re here, Mr. Kim.” A doctor said and relieved that she found Nico at last. “My name Dr. Miranda Bailey, Chief of Surgery, and I’ll be touring you.” Dr. Bailey said enthusiastically.

“Hi, and please, lead the way.” Nico said politely.

—————————————

How they met, 2nd time

Levi drank with his friends at Joe’s after a long ortho session with Dr. Link.

“I’ve never done ortho before!” Levi exclaimed and sighed. He’s venting his stress out.

“Are we playing never have I ever?” Taryn said sarcastically. “Okay, never have I ever dropped my glasses at an open abdomen.”

Dahlia laughed so hard that she almost slipped her drink.

“ha Ha haarr.” Levi laughed sarcastically. Annoyed, he thought two can play that game. “Well how’s the secret crush at Dr. Grey.”

“Ooooh. Who wouldn’t though? But in a non-romantic way of course.” Dahlia said.

“Wow!” Taryn shocked at the foul move, and recovered quickly. “For the record, hear her talk about Christina Yang and tell me if you think she’s straight.”

They laughed and tell stories about how their day went. Casey was still on shift, so he’ll join next time.

Levi’s going to order another drink when a tall handsome man brushed a cold beer bottle towards his hands. It’s the patient relative that he escorted before.

“Rough day?” Tall handsome man said. “You need a drink.”

“T-thanks.” Levi replied and confused with the kind gesture. “B-but here I can pay-” He’s about to reach for his wallet when Mr. Handsome stopped him.

“No need. You owe me a drink next time.”

“Okay.” Levi replied and still confused. Wow he’s hunky, and ripped, and chiseled, like a model. Like a roman stature. Geez, what am I thinking?

Mesmerized, Levi asked for the tall handsome man patient relative’s name.

“It’s Nico.” Nico responded. “By the way, I’m not a relative of a patient.. just so we’re clear, I was checking medical equipment.”

“What? But you’re wearing a suit.. aand uh” Levi’s more confused and now embarrassed since he escorted him away and thought he was some patient’s relative. “I’m sorry.”

Nico was wearing a suit on that day. He doesn’t look like IT or tech support. Levi thought. Now, he’s wearing a smart casual outfit. Stylish techy tall handsome tall venti guy. Interesting.

Nico’s phone rang.

“It’s okay. Have to go. Remember you owe me a drink.”

“Saturday?”

“Saturday.”

Nico left to answer a call. Taryn and Dahlia went to Levi.

“So that’s a date?” Taryn smiled and giggled.

“N-no it-s nott a date” Levi got all flustered and in denial.

“Trust me it’s a date. He asked you out for drinks.”

“He looks familiar.” Dahlia added.

“He sure does, we only saw a glimpse of him so i dunno.” Taryn shrugged.

“He works as IT or something.” Levi explained. “He was checking medical equipments and I thought he was a patient’s relative so I escorted him towards the waiting room. And now I owe him a drink. Nothing more.”

Dahlia and Taryn laughed.

“How can you have mistaken him for a relative?” Taryn asked after laughing.

Dahlia laughed harder.

“Pheww haah wa-wait.” Dahlia took a breather. “Anyways, it looks like you’ve hit a jackpot!”

“I told you, it. Is. Not. A. Date.” Levi’s still not convinced, but deep inside he’s excited about it.

“Whatever floats your boat.” Taryn said.

“… Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Dahlia added.

And they drank again, because tomorrow it’s back to work.

———————————

Let’s skip to when they’re together and Nico spoils him hard on one of their dates

It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other. Levi was busy with fellowship and Nico’s managing his business. They treasure the times that they could meet, and then hope for those times to happen.

They have a day for themselves, at last. Nico planned an extravagant date. He doesn’t really mind to spend money for Levi.

The night before their date, Nico waited for Levi’s shift to end inside his sportscar. Levi’s shift ended. They talked about what happened to them over the past few days, even though they always talk through phone or chat.

“… and I was about to c-cut thee .. the..”

Tired, he slept midsentence when he was telling a story about his recent patient.

Cute. Nico thought and drove the sleeping bean to his house. He had planned the night as well. There was a scheduled full body massage and jacuzzi in case Levi wanted to splash the stress away as well.

Levi felt relaxed and happy because he’s spending time with Nico. Tonight is relaxation… and another kind of stress relief IYKWIM. Tomorrow is the real date.

Levi wanted to sneak and make breakfast for Nico, but Nico’s hired chef had already made breakfast. Breakfast is served on a long table full of Levi’s favorite foods. He was surprised with the enormous amount of food. But Levi wanted to cook for both of them, not that he was against letting other people cook their food. It was supposed to be their time. And he wanted to show Nico how much he loves him too.

“Ohh… Uh.. Hi.” Levi greeted the people inside the kitchen and the dining area.

“Good morning, sir!” The personal chef greeted the tiny bean and proceeds to introduce the dishes. Nico went down a minute later.

“Good morning, hun.” Nico said and kisses Levi. “Let’s eat.”

“Good morning.” Levi replied, smiled and then asked. “Isn’t this a bit too much?”

“Too much? Don’t you worry and just eat.”

I really wanted to cook breakfast. Levi thought, and then dismissed it since it’s their time and no negative thoughts.

Next, Nico and Levi went to shop clothes. Levi insisted not to since he has a lot of clothes already but Nico wants Levi to have new nice things.

“Try everything on him.” Nico said calmly, but like in an order.

“Yes, sir.” The staff replied. Levi looks amazing on everything, and he almost thought that Nico would buy the whole damn store (he bought half of the store.)

Next, for their lunch, there’s a reservation on one of those fancy restaurants that it cost a fortune for just a glass of water.

“Uhhh are you sure this is okay?” Levi said, because those prices can kill a middle class man.

Nico chuckled. He remembered this scenario when Levi hasn’t realized who he is.

— Flashback—

Nico invited Levi to dinner, and Levi is surprised that it’s in a fancy restaurant.

“Uhh Nico we can’t afford this.” Levi said while computing what he has to order.

“It’s my treat, anyways.” Nico said, and he touched Levi’s hand above the table for reassurance.

“Y’know that I’m just a surgical intern right? And idk you work like IT or Tech…. these prices are just… wow… we can just bail…” Levi whispered.

Actually, I’m the President of KMS Corporation (Kim Medical System Corp.)

“Trust me I got this.” Nico reassured.

–end of Flashback—

Levi seems a bit troubled, and Nico have noticed it. They stumbled across some sort of arcade shop. Levi wanted to try it and Nico was persuaded easily. Nico wanted to win him the big teddy bear on top of the shelf, it cost like 30000 tickets. One of the fastest way to gain tickets is a shooting game. Nico went and bought tons of tokens to try the shooting game with Levi. It turns out that Levi is good at these types of games. Levi won like 70% of their shared tickets. Nico saw Levi’s genuine smile and laugh for the first time today.

“You didn’t enjoy today didn’t you?” Nico said.

“W-What? Can’t you see I’m enjoying it? We can actually collect 30000 tickets! Or even more than that!” Levi replied, excited to get some prices.

“I mean like when we ate breakfast and when we shopped you clothes. Also, when we had lunch. If something’s bothering you, tell me.”

“It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it. It’s just that I’m not used to having fancy things, or like a fancy lifestyle… I actually wanted to make you breakfast this morning…. I want to show you how much I love you, too.” Levi explained, and then touched Nico’s fingertips with his own.

“You wanted to make me breakfast?”

“Y-Yeah.. I’m actually good at cooking, FYI!”

“How about dinner?”

“Oh absolutely! B-But maybe you have plans, I don’t want to interfere.”

Adorable! I want to squeeze him like a tiny teddy bear! Nico thought.

“No worries, let’s go with your plan. Let’s go grocery shopping.”

Nico cancelled like this ferris wheel dinner where for each loop at the ferris wheel, there will be new servings. He didn’t let Levi know, he wants him to not worry about such things. They went grocery shopping together, picking up ingredients. Levi’s going to cook German cuisines and then Nico will teach him about Korean cuisines as well. So the bought enough for both German and Korean food.

It might not be the most romantic and fancy dinner they’ve had, but it’s the moment that has value more than its financial worth.

[sodumbsougly]

oh i almost forgot about this - written quite a long time ago but i'll never finish it properly so i will just. slap it here

“Hey. Old timer.” Dice only pauses for a moment to make sure he’s got Elder Kettle’s attention. “Y'know how… You were harpin’ on me about going over there to the doctor?” Kettle gives the taller man his full attention, pausing from his newspaper an laying it flat against the table. “Yes. And…?” “Uhhh,” Dice looks away, leaning against the wall that separates the kitchen from the rest of the home. “…I’ll probably go next time.” Kettle nods once. “You know that’s tomorrow, right?” “Yeah…” “Okay.” Kettle smiles gently, pleased. “I don’t mind taking you, you know. It’s not like the taxi ride puts me out any, my friend.” “Yeah,” Dice says again, not looking back at him. A few seconds pass, and he walks away without another word.

🎲🎲

Looking at the way his new ‘friend’ is curled up in the chair, Elder Kettle raises one eyebrow. Surely it’s not comfortable to curl up so tightly, like stuffed into the chair by an external source, arms wrapped around himself - Kettle tilts his head, realizing Dice has just stuffed his face into the chair. “Hm. Hey, are you going to use your bed, maybe?” Kettle says this, eyeing the folding bed that’s now taking up room in his livingroom. There’s no response, so after a second, he tries again. “Mr. Dice, my friend? It’s late. …Hmm.” A gentle shove on the shoulder, and Dice finally moves, untangling himself from his noodle arms. “Gosh,” Kettle says, the second he sees Dice’s face. “You must be tired. C'mon, aren’t you going to actually use your bed? Surely that’s… More… Are you alright?” Dice, turning himself around, doesn’t look at Kettle for more than a few moments, expression uncomfortable. “You alright?” Kettle says again. He doesn’t want to say much more after that - he’s said quite a lot to the other man very quickly, and even beyond his usual irritated nature, he doesn’t seem to be absorbing it. “Mm-hmm.” Dice answers him, finally, but Kettle’s eyebrows are already twisting in concern, stepping closer. “Are you sure?” Kettle asks at first, but instantly follows it up with his own answers. “You’re very pale.” And, one hand reaching out to Dice to pat his arm, “you’re breathing hard. Are you okay?” Dice just pulls himself away from the old man, getting to his feet and instantly having to pause from what Kettle can tell is a bit of lightheadedness. “Mr. Dice,” Kettle says, gently. “Why don’t you rest in my bed? It’s comfortable.” “’m alright,” the former bastard replies, putting one hand on his forehead. “I don’t think so,” Kettle urges gently. “I want you to sit down. Come in my room.”

🎲🎲🎲

Dice curls up, on top of all of Kettle’s fluffy blankets and covers instead of under them, the near instant way he sinks into the comfort of it very telling as to how miserable he is. Between that, and the way Dice’s body practically radiates heat, Kettle’s set himself on a mission. He continues speaking, gently. “I told you that you could make yourself sick… I guess we’re seeing that firsthand, huh? Well, it’s alright. Here, sit up for a moment.” Dice takes his medicine without protest, chugging the water he’s given with it, too. “There you are,” Kettle says, and he can tell that just talking, at least seems to give the other man some comfort. He can’t help but feel bad for him. It isn’t like he doesn’t know exactly what the fiend has done - and the damage he caused and could’ve caused to Kettle’s boys. But, all the same, Kettle has also seen this man first-hand, and in the moment, he’s sure Dice’s current state is the lowest he can go. And what else has Kettle done before, he thinks, preparing a little pot of cool water, but help people who are at their lowest? It’s especially important to Kettle to help the man, since it was important to Mugman. So, Kettle will do what he does best. “You’re alright,” he repeats, and with a little difficulty, he reaches upwards to lay a cool cloth on Dice, but the second he’s close, the other man’s eyes snap open again, ducking away. “Hey, relax,” Kettle says instantly, mildly confused. “You’re alright… I’m not going to hurt you.” Dice isn’t speaking, just looking at him, miserable, sweating. There isn’t any time for reflection on past faults, Kettle decides, trying again. Although it does feel weird to be soothing the man who - …The man who’s surely in a lot of pain, aching, groaning softly as he turns away, radiating heat like a fire. Hm. “You’re okay, my friend. I’m not going to hurt you. Let me lie this right here,” Kettle says, very gently, almost reminded of how he’d soothe a scared child. Dice shrinks away from him slightly, but otherwise doesn’t move, so Kettle hopes he’ll appreciate the cool cloth once he finally relaxes. And he does after a second, forcing his eyes shut again. “You’re okay. You’re safe right here,” the old man assures, and this time goes for a gentle pat on the arm. He won’t take no for an answer, giving Dice a second to relax after his initial flinch at the touch. “Shh. You’re okay. I’m right here for you. I’m sure you’re awfully miserable, so just relax, my friend.” In the darkness of Kettle’s room, the sound of Dice’s occasional whimpering and Kettle’s gentle reassurance being the only real noise, there’s no room for the past. In the moment, Kettle sees a man suffering, and there’s no way he’ll stand by and let suffering continue.

That’s what he tells himself at least, finally leaving the man’s side and getting as comfortable as he can in the chair to one side of the room. Sighing, Kettle’s eyes ache slightly with tiredness - there’s no clock in his room, but it’s taken so long to soothe the die into rest that Kettle is absolutely sure it’s past midnight.

He’s sure, too, it’s past three in the morning when he blinks awake from his slumber on the chair. Dice is sitting up, rather obviously trying not to outright groan and making a low noise with both hands on his face. That triggers Kettle back into action, and soon enough he’s back at the bedside. “Are you alright?” Dice says nothing for a moment, but nods against his hands. There’s still half-melted ice in the little pitcher Kettle brought in, so - “Here. Why don’t you have a drink, my friend?” Dice’s face is red, although in the barely lit room, only real light being what’s come through the cracked open door, Kettle can’t tell if that’s from rubbing his face to wake up or pure illness. He drinks groggily, and then sighs, holding the cup tightly.  “Thanks,” he mumbles, not looking directly at Kettle.

“Of course,” comes the surprisingly cheery reply. Then, he notices the damp cloth that’s fallen beside Dice, and scoops it up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Elder Ket'l,” the old man’s patient says first when he returns, voice slightly strained, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

They’re both extremely lucky Kettle can move fast enough to grab his trash can from the other side of the bed and hand it up to Dice, because he’s absolutely right, and remains leaning over the trash can for a minute after he’s done barfing, miserably whimpering. And Kettle can tell he’s a bit more lucid, since he hates every whimper that’s forced out of him, groaning afterward.

“You’re alright,” Kettle offers soothingly, but that just earns another frustrated grown. Lifting his head, Dice grips the side of the whicker can. “What do I… Do with this..?” “Bag that up for me, if you can. I’ll go put it in the can outside. It’s got several layers of bag inside, I’m sure,” he adds after realizing how bad Dice seems to feel about making someone else clean THAT up. Kettle’s much too experienced with uneasy-stomached toddlers to leave his trash cans anything but triple-bagged, he assures, although even once Kettle’s washed his hands and come back, Dice’s expression is slightly guilty. “Don’t you worry,” Kettle says, slightly muffled by a yawn at the end of his sentence. “Alright,” Dice replies, not looking satisfied. “You should head back to sleep. You need to rest up, you know.” “Yeah, I’m sure… Ugh…” “If you still feel a bit icky, that can’s right down there.” “No, no, I’m… D-Done now…” “Alright. Please do try to get some rest, though. Your body needs that to recover, and I’m sure it’s late.”

[mlovesstories]

A Family Attitude Part 7

Part 7

A Family Attitude Series

Tag List

Ask Box

Masterlist of Masterlists

Warnings: panic attacks, language maybe, adult/child fight

Words: 1700

Jensen x daughter!reader

Danneel x platonic child reader

Ally x platonic child reader

Jared x niece!reader

Mention of Haley- night nanny

“Dude, What happened to your ar-“ Jared walked over to his friend and reached for Jensen’s wrist. YN dropped her head with tears about to spill over, feeling horrible every time she saw the scratch marks on his arm. Jensen gave a warning glare to Jared and shook his head discreetly. Jared stopped mid-movement and moved on. “You doing good today, YN?”

“I think so. Thanks for yesterday.  I didn’t know what to do. I love you, Uncle Jared.” She walked over to him and hugged him.

“Anything for my favorite Ackles,” he snickered.

“Hey! What about YOUR BROTHER?” Jensen faked a jealous attitude.  “I am your favorite.”

“Are not.”

“Are too!”

“Shut up!  I have school stuff to do, so scram!” YN spread her feet in defense of the space around her.

“Party pooper.” Jensen gritted his teeth, teasing.

“I will call Grandma on you. Now get.” YN crossed her arms, cocked her head to the side, and waited.

“Damn.  Okay, going out. On it.” Jared smiled.

“Got your phone? Text me if there is s problem, okay?”

“Promise, Dad.  Scouts’ honor.” She saluted her father with two fingers extending from her forehead toward her dad. “Hey,” she started, “Sorry about your arm. Will they be able to cover it up?”

“This,” he looked at her,” was not your fault. Don’t blame yourself, understand?”

“But your arm is so scratched-“

“Stop. We are done with this, okay?” He calmly embraced her.

“Okay. Have fun out there.”

_______

When Jensen returned to his trailer, he found his daughter asleep at the desk. He frowned at her tiredness.

“Baby,” he tapped her shoulder. “Wake up.” She stirred and looked up at him. “If you sleep now, you won’t sleep tonight. Wake up a little and then do school stuff.” She whined deep in her throat. “I know, but you have to.”

“Ugfff,” she huffed. “Fine. But I hate you. Just for the record.”

“Part of the job description of being a dad.” He grinned. She sat up in her chair.

“I’m never having kids. Parents suck,” she groaned but smiled.

“I suck? What?” He dramatically responded.

“You’re okay,” YN giggled. “Okay, homework it is.  Remind me next time to not visit you for a week during the school year.”

“Will do.  Call me if you need me.”

———-

Jensen entered his trailer to bring his daughter lunch.  He didn’t see her in the desk chair.

“YN-“ he froze, taking in her body on the carpet.

“YN!”

“Daddy,” she barely whispered, “help me.”

“Okay, you’re okay.” He noted her shaking body and new scratches on the side of her neck. “Give me your hands.” He took them in his larger hands and saw blood under her fingernails. “We’ll get this under control.” Jensen saw her start to converse but he shushed her. “Relax. We’ll talk in a minute.”  She pulled her hand back and they went back to her skin. “Stop, sweetheart. You’re hurting yourself.” He tried to help her calm, but it wasn’t working. “Hey!” He caught her attention. “Stop!” Cutting through her thoughts, she ceased her movements. Jensen took her hands back into his and squeezed down so that she wouldn’t scratch again. “Baby, come back.  You’re okay. I’m here.”

————

“Hey,” Jared walked into Jensen’s trailer. “Again?” He looked at Jensen, noting YN’s still, tired body curled into her father. He nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t know what to do. Jared, what do I do?” He looked down at his sleeping daughter.

————

“Hey, YN.  How are you?” Danneel walked into Jensen’s Austin home.  

“Okay, I guess,” YN sighed. “Thanks for coming over tonight.”

“Of course. I want you safe. Are you good with me staying with you? I know you’ve got someone here at night, but is this okay?”

“I don’t really talk to her. She is not Ally,” YN sighed.

“You know you need to be nice to Haley,” Ally walked into the room. “She’ll be here soon, so be kind.”

“I’m always nice. I just want someone else here so I can calm down if I get stressed out again.  I hate this so much.  Why? Why do I have these attacks?!”

“I’m not sure, YN.  Don’t forget that we love you though.” Ally stood in front of YN on the couch. “I’m off the clock, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for helping my favorite girl, Danneel.”

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Danneel responded with a smile.

“That’s not true,” YN said under her breath.

“Up, now.” Ally heard what she said. YN stood up, knowing where this conversation was going. YN followed her into the hallway. “Be nice. She doesn’t have to do this for you. You know that, right? She loves your dad, therefore she sacrifices for him and you. Don’t insult her acts of kindness, okay?” YN nodded. “Good,” Ally kisses her on the cheek. “Love you. See you tomorrow.”

————

“So what did the doctor say about your scratching?”

“To put lotion on it. He gave me this soothing stuff.  At least it smells good, I guess.”

“They can’t do anything else?”

“Unless I see a therapist to relax which I’m not doing. No thanks.”

“But-“

“No.” YN growled. “Dad said it was fine if I talked to Jared. I have to or he’s going to make me go see a psychologist.”

“I’m so happy Jared can be there for you.” Danneel smiled.

“Me too,” YN returned.

————-

“You ready for bed?”

“Yeah, I am tired.  Good night, Danneel.”

“Hey,” Danneel called for YN. “Your dad said he put a monitor in your room?”

“Yeah, so that he can hear me if I have an attack.” YN’s cheeks became red.

“It’s fine, YN. “Where is the other other monitor?”

“I think it’s next to my dad’s bed.”

“Okay, I’ll follow you up and get it.”

————-

During the night, Danneel heard quick breathing. As she took in the surrounding of Jensen’s guest bedroom, she saw the baby monitor. Danneel pushed her blankets off of herself and ran into YN’s room.  

“Hey, hey,” Danneel saw that YN was still sleeping. She watched as YN’s hands went toward her neck. “Uhhh…” Danneel took a breath and looked around the room.

Mittens.

“I got you, I got you.” YN woke up after a violent shake. Danneel put the gloves over YN’s hands before she could resist. When YN went to scratch, she couldn’t.  “Good girl.  It’s okay. I put your mittens on, don’t stress. Breathe.”

“Hug… please.”

———

“Hey, sweetheart. I heard it was a rough one last night.”

“I’m okay. Just a bad dream. Dee was there.”

“I’m so glad. Don’t forget to call Jared tonight,” Jensen commanded via FaceTime.

“Dad, this is hard enough. I don’t want Uncle Jared judging me.”

“He’s not, YN. He’s helping you. Remember what I said. Either talk to him or we get a therapist.  It’s not a bad thing, YN. You’ve seen how good Jared is doing. I just want you to be confident and healthy.

“I know. Can we change the subject please?”

———-

“You missed you phone call.” Jensen sternly stated.

“I didn’t want to, okay?!” YN yelled into the phone.

“You know the deal. Now you will have to talk to someone who doesn’t know you. If you would just have talked to Jared, it would be a whole lot easier!” Jensen spat back at his daughter. Voices were raised when Danneel walked into the YN’s room.

“Hey! Will you two shut up!” Danneel stood in the doorway of YN’s room and crossed her arms. “The Ackles’ lung capacities are astonishing. YN, let me talk to him.”

“No, he needs to go now,” YN ended the FaceTime session.

“YN! That was totally uncalled for!”

“He doesn’t know! He doesn’t understand, okay?!”

“But Jared does! When have you known the big moose to judge others? He loves you like his own. He is so proud of you, YN. Jared raves about how much you mean to him when he brags about family. I’ve heard him.  He would never betray your trust. Call him.”

“... Now?”

“Yeah. Now.”

“He’s probably on the phone with Gen or busy or-“

“Talk. To. Him.” Danneel demanded.  

“I hate this!”

“You’ll hate it less if you talk to him. He’s been where you are right now.  Do you want to talk to someone you already trust or someone who you don’t know?”

“Fine!” YN yelled and called her uncle. Once he picked up, Danneel left YN alone in her room.

“Hey, YN-“

“I hate my dad!”

“Uhh…”

“Can we have our conversation now? I’m sorry I ignored your phone call.”

“Sure,” he answered, surprised by her sudden willingness. “You want to talk about last night?”

————-

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't have threatened you with a therapist like that. Please forgive me.”

“I know.”

“I won’t do that anymore. I’m glad you talked to Jared. Did it help?”

“Yeah,” YN smiled to the camera on her phone. “He listened and didn’t judge me.”

“He’s a good friend, YN. Thank you for talking with him.  How is it having Dee there at night?  Does she calm you down?”

“Yes.  Jared taught her some calming stuff.  And she put mittens on my hands.  She found them somewhere.  Helps with the scratching.”

“That’s really smart.  What would you think about wearing them at night?  Just in case?”  Jensen was not sure if she would agree.

“Yeah, I think so.  I don’t like the scratch marks everywhere.”  YN answered with a defeated sigh.

“I understand,” he gave a reassuring smile.  

______

“Danneel!”  YN yelled for her dad’s girlfriend from her room.

“Yeah?”  Danneel entered.  

“Do you know where the mittens are?  My dad said I should wear them at night now.”

“Oh, umm… I think I saw them on the counter by your sink?”  Danneel guessed.  

“Found them!”  YN responded from the bathroom.  She giggled at her lack of awareness.

“Good.  Goodnight, YN.  Sleep good.”

______

A Family Attitude Series

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[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 18

Oh just fuck off, Sean, who needs you and your dramaqueen anyway? Ever so slowly she tried to sit up, oh djeezes her back was absolute agony, but hey she was moving, oh yes yes yes, awwawww, motherf...! free, yes yes freeeee at last! She crawled from under the last wooden board and pulled herself up on a chair into an almost standing position, the couch was closest, one foot in front of the other, oh yesss, ooooohh touchdown..she finally sat down and looked at her painting, she couldn't tell from this distance if the canvas was cracked or damaged or not, please don't let it be torn. Painkiller, oh she needed a painkiller, where was her bag? She rummaged through her bag for a second and downed the pill with a big swig of her wine, ohhh, please kick in, like right now?! She slowly let herself slide against the cushions and took out her phone, she needed some kind of interaction, comfort, right now, and if it wasn't gonna be Sean and his trollup then it was gonna be Joe

From: HCDeRobiano

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: Re: Hellooooo???

Joe,

You're asking if I'm ok, well you know what, I'm not even gonna answer that, I'll say this one thing though, I'll do my best to be there, (even if I have to show up in a wheelchair)

A domani!

Coco

Huh? A wheelchair? He finally heard from her and now she seemed to be in a wheelchair? Not that that was an issue but he just had a different view of her in mind. Was that a pang of dissapointment, no..but..had he played this scene in his head on too fastforward? Wait, what mattered really here? Her mails, her personality or a...possible disability? Come on, don't be such an ass, just read it again, 'even if', see that is something completely different than...oh will you stop, Leto, for fuck's sake! Just be happy if she'll show up tomorrow!

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject:Re: re: Hellooooo???

Coco,

Did something happen? Because I got a bit worried about the 'wheelchair' thing, or maybe that is permanent? I guess I just realized that I don't know you all that much!

Regards

Joe

He so wasn't gonna show up, he was not gonna show up, what the fuck? And what a shitty thing to say about the 'wheelchair' thing? Ok, so he didn't specifically say it, but she could just feel what he was thinking..so what if she had some kind of disability? which she didn't really, were you one of those guys, Cubbins? All superficial and shit? you twat! She growled a bit and balanced the phone on her forehead. Now what? Make a complete loon of yourself and show up, knowing full well you're gonna be stood up for the second time? Or interpret this mail differently and read into it that he's actually curious about you, with that last part about not knowing much about each other or better, knowing nothing at all about each other? Tomorrow was another day and right now she was gonna do nothing more than let the beautiful mix of alcohol and painkiller bounce around in her system and throw a veil over the pain in her back. Close to midnight, he could still feel the Big Apple vibrate up to him behind the closed window on the 7th floor, this city was as restless as he was, if NY was a woman, he would have married her a long time ago, she begged him to dissapear into her night filled with drunks, poets, addicts, lovers, freaks, writers but he had to refuse, there was no way he was gonna risk repeating the same mistake. Nope, na-ah, no way, he was gonna show up, wait and be completely stunned, shocked, surprised by his blind date, he shuddered, he hated the concept of surprise but not this time, he was too intrigued. You know what, if it all went belly-up and she didn't show up or she wasn't what he had expected, then he could always call Harper, right? Hmm, kill 2 birds with one stone, why the hell not? How long could it possibly take to find a name and a number? In Shayla's case obviously a loooonggg time! Go to bed, Jared, just get in bed and read a book, take your mind off things, you'll need the morning to pick an outfit, you need to look sharp.

Harper's eyes fluttered open, she tried to wiggle her toes, hallelullah, she could still move, hand and fingers working fine..and now the tricky part, oooufff, sitting up, back is better, oohhh yes..twist upper body a bit, nice, ok, not too sore, rest up properly and save yourself a doctor's visit, yep that was gonna be her motto from now on. With a bit of a huff and a puff, she stood up and slowly plodded to the fridge, empty..damn..ok, hot shower first, some grocery shopping and then..and then treat yourself to a hot bagel, missed those sooo much, dayummm! Something hot was definitely what she needed when she stepped outside, when had autumn turned into winter? Overnight? Note to self: must look for a warmer coat, brrrr, ok, shopping,..oh slowlyyy..her back, awwww! Don't slouch, straighten your shoulders, ladies never run, hello mother..please go away, ok..shop, let's go. Omnomnom, this bagel was pure heaven, ooohh hothothot though, she juggled the grocery bags to take her key when some mail guy ran up to her “De Robiano?” hearing her name made her turn her head and nod “yes”. She took the enveloppe that he handed to her and recognized the name of her Dad's lawyer, oh fuck, what now? she pushed the enveloppe in one of the bags and opened her door, let's see what Daddy dearest had in store for her this time.

Jared stepped in front of the mirror for the umpteenth time, this shirt..but another pair of trousers then? Will you just decide what to wear? Casual? Rock? Sporty? Suit?...why not mix and match? Hair up? Braid? Loose? For a split second he missed Shayla and her advice..oh no he didn't, 11:30, get a move on. Harper just sat there at her kitchen counter digesting the news, a door slamming downstairs pulled her out of her daze..what time was it? 11:30, well, this day just couldn't get any worse so didn't matter if she went or not. Catching a glimpse of himself in the window as he exited the hotel, he was pretty happy with his mix and match after all, black long sleeved T-shirt, black jeans, dinner jacket and a long blue hippie scarf, casual bohemian chic, “need a cab, Sir?” one of the doormen asked, “yeah, Times Square, please”. One last look in the mirror, are you sure you want to get stood up again? Cool outfit though, 'beep'

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: So..

I'm on my way..

Joe

Oh, really? On your way to anywhere but Times Square probably..could this mail be any shorter? was it even worth answering? Stay or go? She grabbed her bag, here went absolutely nothing.

12:30..ok, half an hour to go, first some tea to calm his stuttering nerves, he got out of the car and tried to be as incognito as possible finding his way to the nearest coffeeshop, every woman that walked past him could be her, the girl with the blonde ponytail? the curvy businesswoman? Stop assuming things, it'll drive you nuts, try to enjoy the moment, after all, how long have you been looking forward to this? You even flew half across the world to be here for her, he quickly checked his phone, nothing..don't you dare stand me up now we've both come so far. 'Times Square', ok this was it, she took a deep breath and got out of the train amidst all the tourists, the commuters and all the people on their way to wherever, but she had a designated spot waiting for her, hopefully he was waiting for her too this time. Uhhh, slow down girl, think of your back, he kept her waiting the first time around, now she was gonna turn the tables on him and he would have to wait for her. Ah, the billboards, the lights, the crowded streets, every time she exited the subway the hairs on the back of her neck stood up, to her this was like the centre of the world, this was one of the things she liked so much about New York, the hussle and the bussle of this city by the water was unnerving for many, but like a warm blanket for her. 12:55..ok, he downed his tea in one go, was that a light tremble in his hand when he put down the cup? Just..just go, it'll be alright, how long have you been looking forward to this moment?

 Ok, deep breath, he walked out of the coffeeshop and into the cold, harsh wind, M&M's..M&M's..oh right that way, he kept his head down as he crossed the street with the masses, the minute he was on the right side of the street, his shoes seemed to stick to the pavement, that's how slow he was going, like he wanted to register every step, every breath of cold air he took on this crazy moment, in his head like this was the most pivotal moment in his life. 10 steps more..and..he was here..ok, what was he supposed to do now? How was he ever going to recognize her if he had never seen her? Wait, this girl was checking him out..and then turned back to talk to her boyfriend..ok next..whoaa, sweetheart way too young, what are you? 13? nope, look around, look like you belong here, oh sweet jesus, being on a stage in front of thousands of people was way easier than standing here waiting for some kind of..blind date. What would she look like? Definitely some artistic woman..and none of those were to be found here..she is so gonna stand me up, shut up and just wait, it's only..1:05. She hated this snail-like pace, but it was too painful if she sped up, ah there it was..just a few more metres, god it's so crowded here. She let out a big breath, glad to be standing still again, and zipped up her jacket a little higher and rolled her scarf around her neck one more time, ok she was here, where was he? Every guy here seemed to be a tourist with the typical tourist outfits she hated so much, and since when were bean bags back in style? Oh, just don't look at me, aren't you ashamed of yourself, your wife and kids are walking right next to you? Oh watch where you're going? Whose idea was it to meet here at this tourist trap anyway? With every minute that ticked away his hope started to dwindle, it was just too crowded, too busy and all the faces started to blur the more he looked around. The honk of a carhorn startled him and right when he turned again, the crowd seemed to split in two and that's when he saw her...there she was, a vision in leather pants, a jeans jacket and a huge scarf..everything clicked in his head, HC..and her name just rolled from his lips “HARPER”. Hearing her name made her head shoot up and their eyes locked. Ohhhh..what?...but..oh my god. Like in slow motion, he came running up to her like he was gonna throw his arms around her but he stopped in his tracks with a killer smile on his face “Coco..Harper..Harper Coco De Robiano..heeyyy”.

[langstwhynot]

Formers (2)

Warnings: blood (ehh), cursing (just a little I mean it won’t hurt anyone right?) grammar mistakes.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Lance froze. Everything froze for a moment. Of course he felt it, the flash in his eyes. Then it stopped, and the pain built it’s way up all over his body.

His eyes burned, his back ached, his head hurt and the room spun around like crazy. Lance stumbled away and met the bed, he leaned back to lie on it and pulled his knees up to his chest as he hugged his head with his arms.

He can only hear static, it echoed in his ears, though he felt the girl grabs to his shoulders and sitting him up.

“Lance!”

He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breath.

“Lance!!”

What was going on, it hurt, everything hurt.

His head flew to the side and pain spread on his face from his cheek. His eyes opened, his back calmed, he opened his eyes to find the girl standing in front of him with a hand raised up.

“Did you just slap me?” He asked weakly after taking a deep breath. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Listen, it will only get worse. So either you come with me or either you’re going to suffer for the rest of your life.” She straightened her back and put her hands on her hips.

“Come with you to where?! I don’t even know your name!” Lance yelled, but regretted it when his ears and head started to hurt because of his high voice.

“The name’s Taya.” She looked down at him and smiled. “See! I think it’s a start of a great friendship, now come.” The smile faded quickly from her face and she turned to walk over to the door only to stop, when noticing Lance isn’t following her.

“What are you waiting for?” She asked and raised her eyebrow. Lance shook his head. “I’m not coming with you.” She turned her whole body to face Lance and crossed her arms. “What?” She asked.

“I’m not coming with a stranger I just met! I’m not coming with you.” He repeated and crossed his legs on the hospital bed. She scoffed. “Fine, then suffer.”

Then she walked out of the room and slammed the dooe shut. Lance sighed.

The door opened again and she leaned half of her body into the room, throwing him his phone. “Here, I put in my number if you’ll ever regret.” Lance caught the phone and looked up at her, offended that she took his phone without permission, but she was already gone.

Lance lay back on the bed and sighed. Did he make the wrong choice? Should he have gone with Taya? He was so confused and the headache wasn’t helping him at all. What was wrong with him? What does she know? And how the hell can it get even worse?

Lance sighed and put his phone on the small dresser next to his bed, he lay his head on the soft pillow and closed his eyes with a deep breath.

He just hoped tomorrow will be better.

~~~

When Lance woke up he was alone in the room. It was now morning by the light from outside and the “glowing” snow on the window. He probably slept through the whole day.

Lance sighed and took his phone from the little dresser next to the bed.

3 new messages from “Hunky boi”

New message from “space dad”

Lance took his phone and slid it open to Hunk and his chat. He smiled as Hunk told him he made Lance’s favorite cookies, and that he better get out fast from the hospital before Pidge will eat them all.

He opened Shiro’s chat.

He didn’t know how to feel. On one side he was happy he didn’t ruin his friends’ spirits. But on the other, he felt like it didn’t even matter if he was there or not, if they really needed him. He pressed on the picture of everyone that Shiro sent him and zoomed in with his fingers.

They were sitting at their group’s regular cafe, each person with a different drink in their hands or near them on the dark wood table. Shiro has his arm over to the camera, probably because he held the phone, taking a picture of everyone smiling. He wrote under the picture “feel better soon”.

Lance looked at the picture for what felt like hours, but was only 2 minutes. He closed the phone and put it back on the dresser next to him, flipping back to lie with his face to the ceiling. He sighed and closed his eyes, putting his hands on his chest as he breathed.

He didn’t know what to do anymore.

~~~

“So... uh... it looks like you’re healthy.” The doctor said as she hugged with one arm a paper close to her chest. She seemed lost and confused, but tried to hide it with confidence. “What do you mean healthy? He passed out in the cafe! There has to be something!” Hunk yelled as he pointed at Lance who sat on the hospital bed near him.

Lance looked up to Hunk, a hurt look on his face. “Jeez, at least try to act happy I’m alive.”

Hunk shot Lance a stressed look. “I’m just worried man! Why would you just pass out in public with no reason?” He turned his head to the doctor again. “Look at the bright side Hunk, they didn’t find anything wrong with me.” Lance put a hand on his shoulder, mostly trying to comfort himself.

He knew something was wrong, he felt it every time he stood up or blinked. Then he remembered Taya, and what she said.

Could she really help him? Does she really know the answer?

Lance shook his head gently without causing that much pain. The doctor continued to talk to Hunk and then turned to Lance at the end of their conversation. “You’re free to go.” She smiled.

“Ok.” Lance replied and got up, grabbing his clothes from the chair and walking over to the bathroom to change. He looked at himself in the mirror as he passed by it. He had black bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess, but... his eyes seemed brighter? It’s probably because of the light from outside.

He washed his face and got dressed. After finishing he stepped out of the bathroom. Hunk sat on the bed, chuckling at his phone. “Hunk?” Lance asked as he stepped close and came to stand in front of him. Hunk looked up confused and then his look softened. “Hey Lance, Pidge and Allurs texted me to tell you that they say hi.” He smiled.

They could have sent it to him, he’s not blind. He’s not dead.

“Oh.” Lance said and looked down to Hunk’s phone. “Yeah, thanks.” He said and pulled his head up. “Let’s go.” He said and walked towards the door, out of the room. Hunk raised his eyebrow but followed soon.

Lance hugged himself, wrapping the coat around his cold body, closer. They walked down the road to Lance’s apartment, Hunk said he’ll make sure Lance will get home safe, but as they started walking, Hunk got messages from Pidge again and they started texting each other, from then to there he would chuckle or laugh.

Lance got a bit closer to Hunk. “What are you talking about buddy?” Lance smiled, looking into Hunk’s chat with Pidge. Hunk backed away and pulled his phone to his chest. “Uhhh... nothing. You won’t understand.” Hunk’s eyes moved from place to place, like searching the words to explain.

“Excuse you?! I have a great sense in humor! I can understand almost every joke on earth!” Lance played offended. Hunk rolled his eyes. “It’s an inside joke Lance, I can’t just explain it to you.” Hunk sighed and kept walking forward, continuing texting.

Lance looked at his friend’s back as Hunk started to walk forward without him, not even realizing he stayed behind. He sighed and put his hands in his pocket. It was just another bad day, nothing else.

When he got to the apartment, after sending Hunk away, it was almost completely dark. He switched the lights of the kitchen on and the one of the living room, too, closing his eyes a bit as it blinded him but he soon relaxed to the two connected rooms.

To be specific, it was a one big room. From the right side was the kitchen with a small island in front of the counters, and for the left and a bit from the middle was the living room. A long gray couch with white pillows on it and a white carpet on the wooden floor. The walls were dark green and the tv hanged in front of the couch.

In the middle of these two was the entrance to the other rooms, which were the bedroom and bathroom. And Lance even had a balcony, instead of the right wall of the living room. You could see it through the glass doors blocking the outside.

Lance looked out of that glass. His balcony was filled with snow and his plants too. He rashed outside there and rolled on the leather roof.

His gaze moved to the snowy white town. He was still in his coat, thankfully, because it was so cold outside. Lance hugged himself as he leaned on the metal bars. He took a deep breath and allowed the thoughts to haunt him.

Does he know what was wrong with him? No. Does he really feel pain? Yes. Does he want to find out? Of course. So why is he still here? He asked himself, but for that one question he couldn’t give an answer.

Maybe it’s because of his friends? Because he’s afraid to leave them? Or maybe it’s school that he’s so afraid to lose?

Ugh, who is he kidding? He would do literally everything to escape that hell.

And how did Taya or whatever was her name, knew? How did she know what was going on or why did she want to help? The real question is why didn’t she tell him what was wrong? She saw he was in pain!

Ugh, what a selfish person, Lance thought.

He took one last breath of the cold air and got inside.

~~~

“Oh!! You should have seen his face!!!” Pidge laughed and hit her fist on the table. All of the people surrounding her, which means Shiro Allura Keith and Hunk burst out in laughter. Most of them were already in this mess when Lance stepped closer to them.

They were sitting in the science class before the bell rang, in a long white table that fitted for 5 peoole. Lance held his books a little bit closer to his chest and he stepped forward, he put a fake smile on his face. “Wassup ma’ friends...?” He grinned and dropped his books on the table, in front of Keith.

“Uhh... that’s my table.” Keith looked up to him with a disgusted face. “Not true! That’s our table, Keith. Jeez! Learn to share!” Lance crossed his arms and Keith growled. “Lance just get your things away from there.” Shiro said calmly, but with a glare.

Wow, even Shiro. That hurt.

“Oh come on guys! I just want to sit with my favorite pals!” He smiled weakly and blinked his eyes a few quick times. “Sorry, But all the seats are taken.” Pidge turned to him and said with no emotion on his face. Allura nodded slowly in agreement, rubbing her arm nervously.

“Can’t you just all move a little and give me some space to sit here too?” Lance’s excitement and smile faded a little.

“No, just sit near the closest table to us.” Keith crossed his arms and put them on the table. “Maybe you should sit there.” Lance turned his head to him and hissed in return. “I’m not going anywhere, i was here first.” Keith let his arms go from crossing them and leaned a bit forward. “Well I’m sorry but I’m not going anywhere either!” Lance tone reached higher and higher as he came closer to the end of the sentence.

“What’s your problem?!” Keith yelled. Hunk put a hand on his left arm. “Keith it’s not worth it-“ Lance cut him before he finished. “You’re my problem! Stop being so mean!” Lance yelled back. “I’m being so mean?! You came back from the hospital and think we should treat you now like god!!” Keith fisted his hands.

“What the hell gave you that idea?!” Lance leaned closer too, using the table by putting his hands on it. “Oh do me a favor, you weren’t even sick or some shit, you probably passed out from embarrassment in front of the cashier. Yeah, I heard what happened!!”

Lance gripped his teeth and frowned, oh this stupid Keith, if only he knew.

“I didn’t.” He hissed, looking deadly into Keith’s eyes. “I’m surprised you survived that Lance, because usually you die in these situations.” Keith grinned and returned the look, only to find out a frozen, backed away Lance.

That hit him like a brick. It did feel like he was dying. And Keith didn’t believe him, he didn’t know how it hurt even opening his mouth or blink.

No one believed him.

He felt sick and the room started to spin around again, his eyes flashed in pain so he closed them shut, only to receive tears.

He felt like he was burning. “YOU KNOW NOTHING!!” He shouted and shot his eyes open at Keith, which watched as the pair of dark blue turned white for a split second before Lance shut them again with a sob.

He rubbed his eyes and ran out of the classroom.

~~~

He hid in the closest closet, behind the big boxes and the brown shelves. He hugged his knees up to his chest as he slammed his head over and over against the wall behind him. It hurt so much, he just wanted it to stop.

The tears couldn’t stop falling down his face. He could really die from this shit that going on with his stupid body and Keith wouldn’t even care, no one would even care. They all think that low of him. “Passed out from embarrassment”? That was way too much, even for Keith. He was joking on someone’s health and in that case it was Lance’s health.

Which was now a quite touchy subject for him.

It took Lance half an hour to calm down and for his head too. He felt hot liquid dripping from the wet back of his head but he didn’t care, all he did was pull out his phone.

As it rang, Lance wiped his tears away and took deep breath before he heard an “hello?”.

“I changed my mind, where do I meet you?”

[cleanedupkenny]

A List of Reasons Why I’m Sorry to Kota Ibushi (begun April 2015, ended January 2018)

Dear Diary,

Drama-Free 2019 can only press forward if I purge myself of all the drama, right?

So, after Invasion Attack 2015, when I did... that thing, I called Michael in kind of a... state. He suggested that I start this list and not show anyone (”anyone” meaning “just Bullet Club,” basically). I think mostly he was just sick of listening to me cry for three hours straight. But it helped. I think.

I’m hopped up on video games and energy drinks and not sleeping next to my Ibutan on the anniversary of our glorious reunion and I might regret this but you know what, I DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF THE BULLET CLUB ANYMORE AND I FEEL FREE, DAMN IT.

It’s a little hard to read from all the tear stains it’s gathered over the years, but Diary, here’s what I can make out:

Fuck fuck fuck I can’t believe I did that

Why did I do that I don’t even like AJ Styles like as a human being

I don’t even like bullets OR clubs what am I even doing [2019 note: there’s a little more here, completely smudged by tears]

Was any of that an actual apology... ooooops. Kota... I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I ruined that for you. I’m sorry you’re not champion right now. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m just so, so, so fucking sorry. I am going to regret that for the rest of my life, which is going to be miserable, and empty, and [2019 note: more tear stains]

Wait. What the fuck was I talking about? I’M NOT SORRY, I DON’T REGRET IT, AND I AM DEFINITELY NOT MISERABLE. I’m the reigning, defending IWGP junior heavyweight champion AND I’M A WAY BETTER ONE THAN YOU EVER WERE OR COULD HOPE TO BE! SO. THERE.

Oh, reading that back just now was... ehhhhh.

WHATEVER, it’s still true, and I will prove it against Kushida at Dominion! He’s just this Back to the Future fanboy, haha, can you imagine anything so dorky?

Now I’m trying to imagine explaining what Back to the Future is to you because you don’t watch movies and what your face would look like and now I’m sad again. Why are you like this? Why????

...aaaaaand I lost to Kushida.

I’m hiding in Matt and Nick’s hotel room to avoid having to tell the rest of Bullet Club that I just don’t like strip clubs and they’re not gonna make me feel better, okay, and why would that make me gay? I’m not even gay! I’m bisexual! Those are two different things!!!

I was tired and wound up just blurting to Tama “I’M NOT GAY” and then... didn’t follow that with anything. So now I’m a fucking coward, and he didn’t even look convinced anyway. I hate everything. Everything except the memory of when you’d let me lay my head in your lap and cry or sleep or just breathe or whatever while you’d twirl my hair around your fingers oh god fucking damn it [2019 note: you guessed it, more tear stains]

I beat Kushida! I’m definitely better than you again! And I’m about to celebrate by having sex with a woman that Tama picked up for me because he’s a great and thoughtful and caring friend!!!!

Um. She seemed nice. And didn’t even stay the night, just blew me a kiss and walked out. I feel weird. I’m gonna have to be way more enthusiastic about her to Tama. Shit.

Why can’t I just have casual sex like normal people do? Why??? On New Year’s this year I found the one other sober guy in all of Japan and was like, okay, this is fun, sex can just be fun, but it just felt like when you’re at the doctor’s testing your reflexes. That was like last night, too. But I couldn’t explain that to Tama, either, and he clearly didn’t buy my fake enthusiasm, so he definitely still just thinks I’m gay and that it needs to be corrected. I hate this. Is this title even fucking worth it? Remember the few times you’d top because you knew when I just needed all my feelings fucked out and afterwards you’d hold me while I cried? And it felt better than anything else in the world? How could I have ever let myself lose that? I’m gonna bring this back to its original purpose. I’m sorry I never realized how great I had it.

It... wasn’t all that great, now that I think about it.

When were you gonna tell me you were moving up to heavyweight?

I wouldn’t have stopped you. Did you think I was going to stop you? How could I? How could anyone stop YOU from doing literally anything at all, honestly?

I just... deserved a conversation. I was your partner. In more ways than one. You couldn’t give me that?

What did you want from me? Did you just like, want me to be your sidekick forever?

Did you... want me at all?

Or... was I just your tag team partner that you fucked sometimes?

[2019 note: wow, this was just a tissue, here]

Well, I lost to Kushida again. If you cared, I bet you’d be happy. Where the fuck did you go, anyway? Not that I care. Because from here on out, it’s my time. Shit’s about to happen. I have a fucking PLAN.

What’s the one thing better than kicking that bastard out of Bullet Club and taking his place as its leader?  Making my first order of business declaring that the Young Bucks and I are better than all of them, mwahahahaha. You should’ve seen Tama’s face. You could have. Seriously, where are you?

WHATEVER, I DON’T CARE, I AM WINNING CHAMPIONSHIPS AND BEATING YOUR GOD TANAHASHI AND THEN SINGING KATY PERRY TO CELEBRATE. FUCK YEAH.

...”research institute”??? Oh whatever I DON’T. CARE.

MY FIRST G1 AND I’M GONNA WIN, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE. WINNING WINNING WINNING.

Hold the fuck up. WWE? You’re going to fucking WWE????!!!! What the fuck??????????? Is... is something actually wrong with you? Did you come back wrong? Who are you?

IT DOESN’T MATTER I’M DOING THE G1 LA LA LAAAAA

I WON THE G1 FIRST GAIJIN EVER and if I did it with your moves it’s to prove I’m better at them than you are and if I mentioned you in the press it was just to rub your face in it HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!

And no one will ever tell me how to celebrate again, damn it. If I wanna eat ice cream with Matt and Nick damn it I’m gonna and the rest of them can just fuck off to their booze and their strippers and god knows what else! I maybe said that aloud to them. Because I fucking can!!!

Matt asked me if I was okay and said uh, yeah, I’m going to fucking Wrestle Kingdom to become the heavyweight champion, which YOU have have never done, why wouldn’t I be? And he was like, that’s just it, though, you keep talking about him. So I kind of stopped talking.

Remember how we used to celebrate? Not that I am. Not that it meant anything to you.

I’m gonna be generous and assume that you lost to TJ Perkins because you were so overwhelmingly impressed by my win. What has happened to you???

OMG I heard you’re not signing with WWE which... um... fine. That’s fine. Good career choice, that’s all.

You’re all over the place now. Except my place. Which is fine! I have Okada! Must focus!!

Uhhh. Turns out Okada is champion for a reason. Um. I need to rethink... everything. Yeah, I used one of your moves again. Whatever.

The fucking Bullet Club, I swear. “Kenny, come out with us, you’ll love these girls!” (NO.) “Kenny, why don’t you let anyone but Matt and Nick second you, what, are you playing favorites?” (Uh, duh!) “Kenny, did you really murder Adam Cole?” (...no comment.) “Kenny, what exactly is Cody Rhodes doing here?” (Being interesting, okay? He has potential. He seems like someone I’d actually get along with, too, unlike you pieces of shit.) I’m gonna hide with Matt and Nick some more. And Marty, he’s cool, even if he still checks out my junk when he thinks I’m not looking. And Cody, I guess.

I see you went viral for shooting fireworks onto yourself and then moonsaulting off a car. Pffftt. It’s like no one knows you. It’s WAY the fuck weirder that you went to WWE.

I hung out with Cody alone and wound up kissing him. I realized what a bad idea this was before it got any further (I legitimately forgot he was married for a second, where the fuck is my head at?), but going by the look on his face, there was... damage... done. So I ran. Like you ran, I imagine, once you realized how much I... loved you. I loved you.

I love you. Part of me always will. I want to be the part that doesn’t. I don’t think it’s working.

Cody almost ruined my rematch with Okada, like I ruined your match with AJ, so, yeah, I fucked up there. I’m still pissed, though. How were you not this pissed? I’m totally going to make him pay for this, how did you not do that to me? Did I want you to? Was that why I did it?

Well, I’m not sorry. Just like I’m not sorry for texting Brandi right now.

I ran in on Cody’s match with Okada and I keep thinking about that instead of the actual title I just won. I’m going to meet Brandi and I don’t know who I am anymore. This is starting to feel like a confessional. Well, it’s sure as fuck not, or ever going to be an apology, ever again.

Well, that was dumb. Brandi is terrifying. I couldn’t even get it up. Then she demanded to know what I did with Cody. She threatened to waterboard me. Do they still do that in America? Why am I asking you?

I’m so glad you’re never going to actually read this. [2019 note: DRAMA-FREE 2019, we believe in transparency this year, damn it!]

.........................................................................................

You’re back.

You’re not in my block.

I need you to make it to the finals.

I need to make it to the finals.

I need this. I need you to know how I felt. How I feel.

That’s all.

Wait... what happened? You... you’re out of the running.

You really never cared about me. That’s it. That proves it. Not me talking about you in the press endlessly and you not dignifying it with a response. You were never much of a talker. But... you couldn’t even wrestle the way I know you can, the way that should get you to WIN the fucking G1.

I get the message. Fine. Fuck you, too. I’m gonna keep doing what I’m good at - better at than you, that’s for sure: winning.

I pinned him. I pinned Okada. You couldn’t have ignored that. I made sure you didn’t. You like my gear, Ibutan? I’m gonna keep proving how much better I am than you when I wear to pin Naito tomorrow, too.

...........What.

What the fuck were you doing there?

What do you want from me?

Don’t you want to just fight me? I’m sure you think you can still beat me. I wanted to prove you wrong. Come on, goddamn it, make me prove you wrong.

Why did your hands have to feel like... your hands? They felt like... like... part of me. A part of me I lost somewhere.

Why does your voice have to be so soft? Why did you have to be so gentle? So tender? So... caring? You don’t give a shit about me, remember?

You don’t. You don’t care. You never cared.

Please don’t make me think you cared.

I actually got on the phone with Michael to pass along that last message. I don’t care how childish it was, I needed you to hear that one thing. His response was to ask me if I really believed that.

I can’t. I can’t not believe it.

I have a bad feeling about this thing with Cody, like it’s gonna get ugly. I told him to stay away from you, just in case. If nothing else, I’m still the leader of Bullet Club. They all recognize that! They’ll keep him in check against you, at least.

I just... don’t want him to mess with you. You don’t need to get mixed up in this. It’ll get ugly. Like I said. That’s all it is.

Oh, great, of course the second I have my back turned, he messes with you! What was I thinking, honestly? Motherfucker...

I want to tell you... be careful. He’s gonna bring Brandi, and they’re gonna cheat. Maybe I’ll tell Michael to tell you. You don’t know them. It’s only fair.

Or... he’s gonna... flirt with you? What the...?

I want to fucking slap him every time he touches you.

Please kick the shit out of him.

You Phoenix splashed the life out of him! I wish that was literal!!!!

When he said I don’t love you like he loves you... I...

How’s your English these days? Maybe you didn’t understand him! Anyway, New Year Dash tonight, and you’re stuck with him again. I’m... I’m sorry. I’m genuinely sorry, once more. I don’t care how bitter I am. He shouldn’t be your problem.

Well. Since I can’t hide behind trying to recruit Jay White or my triumph over Jericho here... people keep asking me why I stopped Cody, and honestly? I don’t even know why they’re asking. I didn’t even have to think. I just ran. So when someone asks, I just stare at them until they stop asking.

I hope you’re okay.

Jesus christ, they’re making you tag against Cody AGAIN? Him trying to maim you last time wasn’t enough?

I see he’s just doubling down on me supposedly not caring about you. He wishes. I don’t wish, though. Not anymore. Those years we were together were real, and they mattered, and I can’t just rip them out of me. I’d be ripping out my spine. My guts. Oh, fuck it. My heart. Anyway, as long as Cody keeps his hands off chairs, I think you can take care of yourself. You’re tough, and as far as what he’s saying goes, I don’t think anyone’s fooled anymore. If they ever were.

After I beat Jay... maybe you’d want a shot at this title. You deserve it. You deserve... something. You always did. I never wanted to stop you. I just wanted to talk. I could’ve talked. I know I could’ve tried. I wish I had. I’m really sorry I didn’t. I’m sorry it took me three years to come around to that. I’m sorry I can’t just tell you this right now. But I will. Eventually. It’s gonna be hard, but I’ll figure out how to do it. I just have to.

I can’t sleep. Not when I can watch you sleep for the first time in years. What a fucking day. What am I gonna do with this notebook, now? I apologized to your face. And you... you apologized too. I wanted to apologize for ever doubting you, but you knew, you knew why I did, and you said you were sorry. Oh, Kota... [2019 note: ah, there are the waterworks again!] I don’t know what’s next. I don’t know what we’re up against. I don’t know if you want to team with me again. I don’t know how much Matt and Nick are really on our side, although I hope they are. Losing them would be almost as bad as losing you, by now. I don’t know if I’ve got the Bullet Club, but I’m not gonna lie, that power doesn’t suck, and I’ll hang on to it as long as I can. What I do know, now, is that if someone forces me to choose, I’ll choose you, over anything. I love you, and you love me. I felt it so many times, when you chased them away, when you hugged me, when I was inside you... I feel it everywhere. I always did, I think. Maybe I’ll keep this notebook as a reminder of how not to be an idiot about it. Or at least as a reminder of how NOT to apologize to you, because a lot of this... eeesh.

I feel so cleansed, Diary. I wish I could hold @goldenxstar right now. At least, unlike four years ago, I’m confident that I will, soon enough.

xoxo,

Kenny