Tumgik
#uh ignore how i only fixed the text one day after posting it
honeystarcamper · 4 months
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Ryuuji Sakamoto Tumblr Layouts . . . req by anon !! + stills under cut
f2u! credit appreciated but not needed :D
and don't forget your daily click!
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koushou · 3 years
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i love it smmmm omg. the megumi fix is amazing it’s more than i asked for ❤️❤️ bro 6,9k is a blessing you don’t understand how glad it made me it’s so worth the wait. tumblr is so dry when it comes to anime fics and especially w megumi thank you for feeding me something other than the crumbs this website gives me. i don’t want to be too annoying but whenever you’re free if you could do a pt 2 cause that ending omg. i love it sm and i can’t thank you enough ❤️
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pairing : megumi x f!reader [fluff]
warnings : slight makeout scene idk HAHA nothing too intense though (also not proofread because i wanted to get this posted as soon as i finished it)
wc : 3.5k
a/n : ur too sweet omg and im FINALLY back from procrastinating your request again anon… (i really apologize i don’t mean to take so long pls forgive me D: ) i hope this is what you wanted!!
pt. 1 (you don’t really have to read pt 1 to understand this part but i do recommend it)
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loud chatter echoes through the large modern dining hall located on the second floor of the hotel.
“i’m… so full…” a certain pink haired male burps for the nth time as he still continues to stuff food into his mouth. gojo laughs at itadori’s passion for the hotel food, while doing the same as he takes a large bite of a pancake.
you chuckle, taking a sip of your drink and leaning back in your cushioned chair, already finished with your 3rd plate of breakfast. i mean, who could blame you? hotel breakfast food just hits a different type of way.
“so, spill all the juicy events that happened last night, i wanna know!” nobara nudges you excitedly, her eyes twinkling as she pulls her chair closer to yours.
rolling your eyes, you look away from the ginger female and pretend to not have heard her. accidentally, you were now faced towards megumi, sitting on the opposite side of you. your eyes met for a brief moment before you quickly turned away, breaking the awkward interaction.
“aww— c’mon, y/n! please—“
“nothing happened at all! and don’t think i forgot the way you ignored my knocks on your door yesterday,” you shot her a glare, earning a sheepish laugh in return.
“but... in the same bed..?”
you were about to retort back when gojo stands up and claps his hand over his stomach, which now seemed just… a few sizes bigger.
“alright! have we all finished our food? god, when did hotel food get so good— anyway, it’s time to pack our things and head back home!” your constantly enthusiastic teacher exclaims, as a waiter comes to collect your plates.
after thanking the waiter and paying the bill (poor gojo-sensei’s wallet), you all head back upstairs to drive back home.
a thick silence hangs over your room as you and megumi collect your items, not wanting to bring up any events from last night. finally ready to head out, you walk towards the door to open it until another hand reaches the handle at the same time.
you retract your hand quickly, while the other hand lingers in the air above the knob.
“oh— sorry, you can go first!” you gulp, backing up a bit so megumi can exit first.
he pauses for a second, twisting the knob until the door pulls open. you expected him to walk out, but he makes his way to the other side of you instead, still holding the door open.
you look over at him with a questioning look, receiving a slight shrug and a hint of a smirk.
“ladies first.”
why was his stupid face so handsome?
you shook your head at his teasing expression, making your way out the door to the carpeted hallway, him following close behind.
the others were already at the lobby waiting, their conversation becoming clearer as you reach them.
“what’s taking them both so long? you don’t think they’re too busy… y’know…” nobara’s usual cheerful voice carries her words to your ears, making you roll your eyes and spook her from being.
“boo.”
“i’m just sayin- oh my go—“ she frantically turns around, breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing it was just you.
“you scared me!”
“what were we talking about?”
“nothing important! come on, we should get going!” nobara nudges gojo and itadori ahead, escaping you as she scurries out of the lobby.
you hear a yawn from behind you, a tuft of black hair moving past you as you suppress the urge to laugh at megumi’s already messy hairstyle, amplified by his morning bed hair.
finally, you were all seated back in gojo’s car, ready to drive back to the school so you all can head back to your own homes.
the ride back was full of gojo’s irritating voice singing along to songs playing from the car radio, itadori laughing along, and the rest of you too excited to leave the car.
“alright kids! we’re here, make sure to be safe on the way back home!”
gojo waves to all of you as you hop out of his car one by one, basking in the cool summer air for a few seconds.
“see you guys!”
itadori jogs away, heading in the direction of his own home, followed by megumi, then nobara, and lastly, you.
upon reaching your house, your mother welcomes you, asking about your day, if you had fun, and other typical mother questions.
you were telling her about your day when you suddenly recalled the hotel night events, and scurried away embarrassed upstairs to your room, leaving a very confused mom behind.
you flop down onto the bed, face down, wanting to get a good few minutes of quiet nap time in before your phone dings with a notification.
grunting, you pull your phone out from your pocket, swiping across the screen to check the message.
surprisingly, it was from megumi, eyebrows suspiciously raising as you open the text message from him. you two rarely texted unless it was about school or business-related, so you couldn’t think of anything he would need from you right now.
megumi : Hey.
megumi : I have your hair tie with me. You probably left it in my bag or something.
megumi : I’m coming over in 5 minutes.
you sat up abruptly, rereading his messages to make sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.
you had been so caught up with his prior messages that you failed to register that he said he was going to be at your house in… 5 minutes.
hurriedly, you swiped to see what time he had sent that last message. 12:34 AM.
your eyes moved to the top of your phone screen, reading the current time. 12:37 AM.
almost falling out of bed scrambling to your room mirror, you checked your appearance to make sure you looked fine and your hair wasn’t messy and-
you paused.
“why am i so concerned about how i look? why do i care about this?”
you slapped your face with both hands, bringing yourself back to reality when you were interrupted again, but this time by your doorbell ringing from downstairs.
making your way out of your room, you saw that your mom had already opened the door with a familiar tall figure standing in the doorway.
“oh! megumi, it’s been a while!” your mom lets megumi in with a smile, already going to the kitchen to make him some tea.
he bows politely, sitting down on the couch, now changed into a loose white t-shirt with black shorts.
“uh- theres no need to make me tea, i won’t be here for too long—“
“nonsense! you can even stay for lunch, dear megumi! i just have to prepare the last dish and—“
you finally clear your throat, standing at the middle of the stairs, catching both of their attention.
“oh, y/n! i have to go out to the grocery store for some ingredients, take care of our guest megumi, alright?” she places two cups of tea on the table in front of megumi, grabbing her keys to head out.
“wait, mom—“
she sends you a wink by the door, already outside before you can finish your sentence.
you sigh in defeat, sitting across from megumi on the other couch.
“here.”
megumi pulls out a black hair tie from his pocket, almost identical to the one currently around your wrist.
you raise your eyebrows in suspicion at the hair tie. “but i only have one? and i didn’t bring any extra yesterday..?” you motion to your own arm.
he looks back and forth between your wrist and the one he had in his hand, scratching his head in confusion.
“it was in our hotel room, so i assumed it was yours.” he shrugs, placing it on the table. “but if it isn’t, i can just throw it away.”
you hum, taking a sip of the tea your mom prepared as he does the same, cringing as the still hot tea burns his tongue.
“pfft…”
he glares at you, placing the cup down as his eyes scan around your living room, taking in the decorations.
“i’ll just keep it then, it seems new.” you take the forgotten hair tie on the table, and wear it around your wrist, now decorated with two black hair ties.
he nods, sitting back against the couch, silence falling between you both.
a question suddenly popped up in your mind, your mouth moving faster than your brain.
“you came all the way here… just to give me a hair tie?”
the question seems to set him a little nervous, clearing his throat and avoiding eye contact as he fidgets in his seat.
“well— i figured i’d return it to you before i forgot,” he shrugs, reaching out to take another sip of his tea before pulling back quickly again at the heat.
you nod slowly, still unconvinced with his answer. who goes all the way to someone’s house to return a hair tie?
“okay then, see you on monday?” you get up, ready to send him back off.
his head snaps up, still not moving in his seat as he opens his mouth slowly, as if unsure of how to respond.
“um- i thought your mom said i could stay…for lunch…?”
he averts his eyes, pink dusting his pale cheeks as he looks away. your mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape as you recall your mom’s words and those were - in fact what she had said.
it wasn’t that you were against him staying for lunch, but you two weren’t even friends or remotely close at that. rivals would even suit you both better than friends.
“but if you want i can, uh, leave now,” he starts to stand, looking uncomfortable in his position across from you.
it was then that you remembered megumi’s background, that his mother had left early at birth, plus his father wasn’t exactly present.
you couldn’t imagine living without your parents, and how lonely he must be without true family.
“no! i mean, that’s not what i meant, you can stay.” you sputter out before he gets the wrong idea.
his eyes seem to light up at your words, nodding before sitting back down on his previous spot on the couch.
you glance over at the time on your phone, it had been around 7 minutes after your mom had left.
the tension was thick in the room, and just when you thought you were about to explode from the awkwardness, he finally breaks the silence.
“do you… play that?”
you turn to where his eyes are placed on, seeing your black xbox console laying on top of a cabinet, having been untouched for a while.
“oh that? yeah, occasionally, why?”
you hear a snicker from beside you, snapping your head to find his lips curled into a teasing grin.
“oh, i just didn’t think a nerd like you would play games.”
you raise your eyebrows at his words. “you sure about that? it doesn’t seem like you’re very good at games either, megumi.” you make sure to stretch out each three syllables of his name to tease him further.
he huffs while leaning back, still maintaining intense eye contact with you, almost challenging each other to say something back.
“how about this, whoever wins against the other gets to make them do whatever they want. no matter what it is.” he nods over to the console, tilting his head as he waits for your response.
you chuckle, standing up to take the console, fiddling with it for a moment before turning back to him.
“alright, just don’t cry when you lose too much, okay?”
he shrugs, smirking as he looks around the living room for the other console, making you remember something.
“oh, the other console plus a TV is in my room, wanna just play there?”
he stiffens suddenly, before nodding slowly and following you upstairs to your room.
reaching the door, you suddenly stop, making megumi grunt and come to a stop, almost crashing into you.
“uh - wait here.”
you open the door just enough to slip inside, quickly gathering some of your belongings and cleaning as much as you could, to at least make your room seem presentable.
“okay!” you open the door for megumi, who makes no move to enter at first.
“...”
“you can come in.”
“... is this okay?”
you cock your head, not understanding his question.
“your mom isn’t home.”
“...so?”
“we’re alone.”
“and?”
“i’m… going into your room.”
“what is your point?” you began to grow frustrated at this conversation. then, it hit you all of a sudden.
“ahh, megumi? have you never been in a girl’s room alone before?” you snicker, shaking your head from laughter.
he starts to protest, before quickly closing his mouth and finally entering your room.
you connect the two consoles into your TV in your room, sitting down on the edge of your bed as you load up the games on the screen.
“you can sit here if you want,” you pat the empty spot next to you, to which he carefully sits down on, taking one console from your hand.
“ready?”
he nods, as you start the game.
-- --
“what--?!”
you throw your hands up in frustration, groaning as you flop backwards on the bed.
“i told you, you can’t beat me.” megumi chuckles, dodging a stuffed bear you threw in his direction.
you huffed, sitting back up, determined to beat him at least once.
“one last rematch!”
he lets out a laugh, a rare one that you think you might just never forget, and starts the game again.
after a few minutes of intense clicking, yelling and laughing, you let out a proud shout, the word victory flashing across your screen.
you pick up another stuffed animal from your bed and toss it straight at megumi’s face, celebrating as he lets out an ‘oof’ and glare back at you.
“but i still won around, 7 times, so i get to make you do something- oof-” he stumbles back again from another stuffed animal to the face.
“hmm? i don’t know what you’re talking about--” you pretend to not have heard him before your vision goes momentarily black from a soft object hitting your face, a pink bear landing in your lap.
“hey!”
“what, you keep throwing them at me!”
“fine…”
“hey, why are you getting so close--!”
you tackle megumi backwards onto the bed, throwing your pillows at his face -- not very gently -- as he tries to shield his arms in vain.
“ahh—! okay, okay, i’m sorry, stop it—“ he huffs as you finally stops your attack, his dark blue orbs looking up into yours.
you only now noticed your close proximity, quickly sitting back up to create some distance between the both of you. he clears his throat, fiddling with one of your pillows.
“well, a loss is a loss, what do i have to do?” you sigh, admitting your defeat.
“hmm…” he seems to be lost in deep thought, probably trying to find the worst thing he can make you do.
after a few silent, intense seconds, he finally speaks.
“are you… free tomorrow?”
you turn to him, giving him a questioning look at his strange question. he only stares back at you in response, awaiting your answer.
“um… yeah, i’m free the whole day, why do you as-“
“come watch a movie with me tomorrow.” he blurts out quickly, not even letting you finish your sentence.
you gape at him, still processing his words, unsure if you had heard wrong.
“... sorry?”
his face was reddenning by the second, yet his eyes remained firmly on yours the whole time.
“let’s go watch the new movie in the theater. i heard it’s quite popular already despite releasing only last week.”
“oh… okay, i can ask nobara if she wants to com-“
“don’t!” he says a little too loudly, clearing his throat after as he regains his composure.
“i mean, i- just, you.”
“just.. us?”
he nods.
silence fell again between the two of you, unsure if he was asking you what you thought he was asking you. you decide to test the waters cautiously.
“man.. it’s almost like you’re asking me out on a date, megumi?” you tease lightly, expecting a ‘tch’ or an, ‘as if’.
“so what if i am?”
now that was an answer you weren’t expecting.
“you’re.. joking, right?”
megumi sighs, moving closer until his body was mere centimeters away from yours.
“i’m serious.”
“do you... like me or something?”
he stares at you blankly. “would i ask you on a date if i didn’t have feelings for you, idiot?”
you only just realize how stupid your question sounded, trying to find a response until he reaches up to cup your cheek with one hand.
they felt soft, yet slightly gruff from constant training and fighting, large enough to cover one half of your face. they were warm, slightly trembling probably from nervousness, yet made you wish he’d never take it off.
“it’s okay if you don’t want to. we can forget this ever happened.” his own cheeks turning slightly pink, yours probably even worse as the space between your faces closed in slowly.
“but i don't think i can do this anymore, so just let me be a little selfish this once, okay?”
barely registering his words before he moves in to kiss you, soft lips moving against the other as his hand tightens against the side of your cheek. you barely register your own actions anymore, hands reaching up to tangle themselves in his hair, moving down to his neck, and finally finding home cupped around his face.
he groans against your lips, pressing you down until he was now hovering above you, never breaking the kiss even once in the process. you lost track of how long you both had been making out in your bed before you hear the front door open from downstairs.
frantically, the both of you separated in fear of your mom catching you in the act, catching your breaths while still processing what just happened.
you hear shuffling from downstairs, standing up to escape megumi before you were pulled back into a warm chest.
“wait—“ his arms wrap around you to trap you from leaving his grasp, your eyes looking everywhere but his, and suddenly your wall was the most interesting thing in sight.
“are we… really going to pretend that didn’t happen?” you finally gather the courage to look him in the face, almost melting at the soft pout set on his (now slightly redder than before) lips.
“ilikeyoutoo.” you get out quickly before you lose the chance to say it again.
he stiffens against you, eyes lighting up almost like an excited puppy receiving treats. “you like me? i didn’t hear you, so can you say it again?”
you huff, trying to wriggle your way out of his arms, only resulting in him pulling you closer to sit on his lap. he presses his forehead to yours, chuckling at your futile attempt to escape.
“i said— i like you—!” you ram your head into his, making him groan in pain, loosening his hold on you. the perfect chance for escape.
you saw the opportunity, dashing to the door, twisting the knob, almost getting it open until—
“nope,” megumi’s hand stops the door in time, instead twisting you around until your back was now flat against the wood, both of his palms placed beside your head.
“y/n? megumi?” your mom’s voice calls from downstairs, but all you could hear was your heartbeat thumping loudly in your chest.
“megumi! move, my mom’s home,” you place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away to no avail.
he grabs your pushing hand and places it on the left side of his chest, letting you feel the soft but fast thumping of his heart, almost matching the pace of your own.
“this is all your fault. you’re not gonna take responsibility for it?” he inches closer to your burning face, making you huff and grab his face.
you press your lips to his, feeling him immediately return the kiss, but you pull away after a few seconds, leaving him still trying to kiss you again.
“nope, my mom’s home, and i’m hungry.”
you open the door, seeing your mom begin to set the table with plates of food downstairs. you look back at megumi, who still looked sad after getting his kiss cut short.
sighing, you take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers together before pulling him down the stairs.
“come on, it’s time for lunch. you’ll get more later.”
you feel him perk up, giving your hand a squeeze as he follows close behind.
you steal a glance at your wrist, still wearing both the hair ties. good thing he hadn’t noticed you stuffing one into his bag this morning.
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broadstbroskis · 3 years
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take my hand, wreck my plans | william nylander
a/n: if you’ve been around this blog for a while, you’ve probably seen me talking about “willy fake dating fic” for quite a bit now...well here she is! settle in for a long read (the longest i’ve posted in one go before) and i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! so so so much love to literally every single person who cheered me on while writing this, but extra special thanks to @denis-scorianov​ and @danglesnipecelly​ for all your love and support
also shoutout to my girl tswift for the title, evermore still slaps
word count: 21.5k
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It’s right in the middle of the busiest hours of the day when Steph’s text comes in, which means Aubrey barely even reads the message. She sees the words dinner and Friday and responds that she’ll be there, and then goes back to trying to fix the clusterfuck of code that one of her coworkers messed up earlier in the morning before her project has to get sent off to a client at the end of the week.
By the time Friday comes around, she’s only just managed to fix the code but the project is finished enough to send off as a first draft, so Aubrey races over to Steph and Mitch’s place after work, knowing she looks frazzled as hell from the look on her best friend’s face the minute she enters their kitchen. “Sweetie.” Steph says, then bites her lip. 
The feeling is mutual to Aubrey, because she’s giving Steph the same once over that Steph’s giving her. She’d arrived from the office, which took casual Friday to the extreme, in her favorite leggings, denim jacket, and converse- still enjoying the last bit of summer before Toronto turned to fall. Meanwhile Steph was dressed up for the evening in jeans and a flowy top. Her hair was done, her makeup looked beautiful; nothing about her screamed casual dinner at home. Certainly not like the messy ponytail Aubrey was rocking, after running over from work.
“Wine?” Mitch offers, breaking the silence, and Aubrey nods immediately, forgetting entirely about...whatever is going on here in favor of the alcohol she’s been needing since she arrived at the office today.
Mitch pours a glass and offers it out, but honestly, fuck that; Aubrey reaches for the bottle instead and takes a sip. “Nope, listen, these motherfuckers-” And then, she cuts herself off abruptly as she catches sight of the single most beautiful man she has ever had the pleasure of even having in her field of vision, leaning against the counter.
“No, go ahead.” Blondie grins, and fuck that, of course, he’s got the most beautiful smile too. “These motherfuckers, what?”
“Fucked up a huge project at work this week.” Aubrey finishes, pretty lamely, compared to how heated she’d started that sentence. 
“Gonna start throwing that at Matts.” Blondie grins again. “Anytime he fucks up a pass to me. This motherfucker.”
“Heh.” She laughs, lifting the wine bottle in a cheers-esque manner, and then, not knowing what else to do, she takes another large sip.
Blondie is still grinning when Aubrey brings her bottle back down and Mitch is doing a very poor job of hiding a laugh, but it’s not hard to see that Steph’s making murder eyes that Aubrey pointedly ignores, so Steph turns her attention away with a sigh. “What’s up, Will?”
“Oh, uh, Matts and Alison nominated me to see if there was anything we could do to help.” Will says smoothly.
“We?” Mitch raises an eyebrow, at the distinct lack of we that arrived with Will.
“Well.” Will shrugs, like that should explain everything, and maybe it does, because Mitch only snorts.
“We’re okay.” Steph jumps in. “We’ll all be out soon.”
Will nods, and leaves Aubrey with one last grin, before he turns and heads out towards their back patio, which must be where dinner is taking place, but as soon as the door shuts behind him, Aubrey turns to round on Steph and Mitch. “What the fuck?”
“Me, what the fuck?” Steph, her best friend since grade school, knows exactly what she’s talking about. “You, what the fuck?”
“This was a setup?”
“You didn’t know?” Mitch cries, turning immediately to his girlfriend and looking incredibly offended.
“Yes she did!” Steph defends. “I literally texted you: Mitch has a single friend we think you’d get along with if you’re interested. Are you free friday for dinner? We were thinking of having you all over. And you said: sounds good I’ll be there.”
“Well, in my defense, work was a dumpster fire this week and I really only skim-read that text.”
“Well now I know why you showed up like that.” 
“Rude, Stephanie.” Aubrey sticks her tongue out at her best friend, grinning immediately afterwards, because Steph’s her best friend and she’s the only one she would let talk to her this way. “Just for that I’m not using a glass the entire night.”
“Not like your first impression could get any worse.” Steph deadpans.
“Meh.” Mitch shrugs. “It’s Willy. He’s done way worse.”
Steph sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose, and then looks over. “Could you use your one free hand then to take a second bottle of wine out then please? For the rest of us who’d like some, to share?”
Aubrey grins. “Gladly.”
That this was meant to be a setup couldn’t be more clear to her as the three of them make their way out to the porch with more drinks and some snacks. Mitch and Steph have dragged some of their comfier patio furniture around the firepit; there’s a couple curled into each other on one of the couches, an empty one with Mitch’s favorite type of beer on the table next to it, and one seat open on the couch that’s occupied by Will. 
Aubrey shoots Steph a look as Steph practically leaps back onto the empty couch, and then she slips herself into the empty seat next to Will. That level of distinct lack of chill is really her thing, thanks Steph.
Steph merely grins back, formally introducing her to everyone around them. And okay, their friends are cool- like Aubrey knows they are; she’s met more than a few of Mitch’s hockey friends before. She’s many-a-time fifth-wheeled dinner with Mitch and Steph and Matt and Syd. She, Mitch, and Steph still had a group chat going with a bunch of Mitch’s old teammates from the Knights. Hell, Strome and McDavid had joined Mitch in playing with her and Steph on their families’ summer softball team last summer.
But she just can’t seem to understand what they see in Will that they think he’d be good for her. Like sure he’s nice enough, and obviously good looking, and like, yeah she has a good time while she’s there, but like, sparks? Nothing. 
Regardless of the lack of sparks between them, it is a fun night, and she curls up in one of the guest rooms in Steph and Mitch’s that night, fully planning on laughing at them the next morning. 
Except, the next morning, Mitch is already gone for practice and Steph’s first question is, “So when are you going to see Will again?”
Aubrey frowns. “Uhh I don’t know. Probably whenever you have us both over for dinner again?”
Steph frowns back. “What?”
“What what?”
“You didn’t, like, give him your number? Make plans? Anything?”
“Why would we?”
“Because he’s perfect for you?”
Aubrey gives her a look. Was Steph even at the same dinner that she was? They, like, barely interacted; Will chatting more with Auston and what’s-her-name or Mitch and Auston, and her with Steph pretty much the entire night. “Perfect for me? Seriously? That’s the guy you think is perfect for me?”
She huffs. If Aubrey didn’t know her best friend better she’d think she was offended, but, well, she does. “Yes!”
“No!”
“I mean, at least give it a shot!” Steph needles.
Aubrey pulls a face. “Why? So we can break up and make things super awkward at anything you and Mitch throw for the rest of your lives? No thanks.”
“I’m telling you.” Steph says. “Perfect match.” But she drops it after that, suggesting brunch, an offer that Aubrey immediately agrees to.
-----
It’s a quick stop for Aubrey to pop home to change and pick up her roommate, Erin, before the three girls head over to what’s long been a favorite brunch spot, laughing as Aubrey and Erin watch Steph fire off a series of snapchats to Mitch featuring her bottomless mimosas- her favorite way of asking to be picked up on his way home from practice.
Erin laughs so hard she almost snorts mimosa out her nose as Aubrey and Steph recap dinner from the previous night, but once she recovers, she hits Steph with a look. “I am begging you to invite me to this next time, solely so I can watch the two of them interact.”
Aubrey gasps as Steph laughs. “Rude!”
Erin giggles, beginning to recount the date she’d gone on last night-her fourth with this guy from the gym she belongs to-and Aubrey finds herself nodding along with Steph in all the right places, as friends should, happy that Erin’s happy, especially after her shitty last boyfriend, and eager to meet this guy for more than the five minutes he’d shown up at their door. 
Her story is interrupted-for Aubrey, at least-by the vibration of her phone, and she checks the text from an unfamiliar number, rolling her eyes when she sees the message.
hey this is will, followed by an amount of emojis that could only actually be from Mitch. 
hi mitch. She sends back.
lol. Comes the response. sorry.
you don’t have to apologize for mitch. i’m familiar
Will reacts to that with a haha and then it’s a while before she checks her phone again, enjoying brunch with her girls and laughing at the look on Mitch’s face as he comes to pick Steph up and realizes he’ll be driving her and Erin back as well.
he’s really found his place between annoying and relentless. Will’s texted, when she checks again a little later, at home on the couch and pleasantly tipsy, deciding what to Netflix with Erin.
that’s his sweet spot. Aubrey sends, and then points halfheartedly at The Office on the screen, well on her way to a post-brunch nap.
-----
Aubrey knows Mitch and Steph well enough to know that’s not the end of it, and sure enough, the subtle (and not so subtle) hints keep coming. But luckily, training camp is about to begin, and so even if they do keep coming, Mitch, and by extension, Will, are both too busy for Mitch and Steph to push anything too crazy on her and Will.
Until suddenly the season begins, and even though things are still crazy for them, suddenly they’ve got days off or afternoons free and she finds that the subtleness of the hints becomes gradually less subtle.
jesus fuck. Will sends one afternoon and she laughs at it immediately, even as he continues typing. tell steph i’m sorry but mitch had to go.
She laughs loudly, which earns her a look from her nearest coworkers. right there with you.
considering just lying and telling him i already took you out last week to just get him off my back jfc. 
tried that already. knew i was lying right away. Aubrey sends back. She appreciates him trying, but come on. That was like, the first thing she tried.
well, Will sends, and then those annoying three dots appear and disappear about four times, before he finally finishes. let’s just go somewhere then and get them off our backs.
time and fucking place. She replies.
-----
Aubrey meets Will at a bar that’s close to her work, a couple days after that text exchange, just in time for the end of happy hour. He’s got a drink in front of him already, that he quickly finishes when the waiter comes to take her order, so he can order another one while she orders one of her favorite cocktails, before it becomes full price again at the start of the next hour.
“You know, I thought Mitchy would have been more…” Will trails off, looking thoughtful, but then continues after a moment. “Smug, when I told him we were going out tonight. What’d Steph say?”
“Oh don’t get me wrong. They’ll be smug to each other.” Aubrey tells him, confident that the two of them are at home right now boasting about the fact that they were right. “But if they think we’re actually on the same page now and they say anything that I hear, that would be the end. Downward tailspin, cut my hair six inches, new tattoo, you name it.” 
Will laughs. “So it’s like that?”
She nods. “A little lacking in some impulse control.” She holds her thumb and index finger up to him, with about 10cm of space between them, to show him just how poor it is, and Will laughs again. 
“Guess I’ll just have to wait for a nice, big I told you so tomorrow.” He says.
Aubrey snickers. “One a day for the next few weeks more like.”
Will shrugs. “Meh, I’ll figure something out to give him a taste of his own medicine.”
“We should.” Aubrey nods absentmindedly, as a comment she’d made to Steph right after the initial dinner comes back to her. 
“Should what?” Will frowns. 
“Give them a taste of their own medicine.”
“Where are you going with this?” Will asks curiously.
Aubrey grins, as the idea starts to form. “A tragic break up to make things so awkward for the two of them that they’ll regret setting us up in the first place.”
Will pauses for a long moment, but then he grins and leans toward her. “I’m listening.”
-----
Steph is bouncing when Aubrey walks into their weekly Thursday barre class. She’s sure she knows why, but Aubrey gives her a strange look anyway when she slides in next to her. “What?”
“What?” Steph repeats. “Seriously?”
Aubrey laughs. “Use your words, Stephanie.”
“Bitch, you know what I want.” Steph says, which makes the woman in front of them turn and give them a scandalized look.
Aubrey giggles. She’d really just wanted to annoy Steph a little but that was totally worth it all. “Yeah I know. It was good. Like whatever.”
“I hate you so much.”
“I’m going to see him again!”Aubrey protests. “What more do you want from me? I’m not going to like, profess my undying love for him after one date. I’m not Mitch.”
“It was like, our fifth date, and he didn’t profess his undying love for me! He just said he loved me!” Steph huffs as Aubrey snickers. She laughs about it now, they all do, a thing she teases both of her friends about, but she vividly remembers the panic Steph had been in coming home from that date. 
“Well.” She says, grinning. “I guess I’ve got four dates to go then. Or maybe Will does.”
“Will’s too chill to do anything like that.” Steph decides, just as their usual instructor enters. “Ridiculous shit is definitely more your move.”
Aub thinks back to her date with Will the other night, where they’d carefully crafted an entire narrative to start this fake relationship, and fights back a grin, because she’s pretty sure Will can be just as ridiculous. He just does a better job at hiding it. 
-----
Just after noon one day, a few weeks into her arrangement with Will, Aubrey’s phone buzzes and she more than welcomes the interruption from the current project she’s working on.
need a favor. Will’s sent, followed immediately by, please.
sure, what’s up?
His name pops up on her screen next and Aubrey frowns, swiping to accept the call. “Hey.”
“I’m downstairs.” Will says and she frowns, both at the skipped greeting, and at his words.
“Of my office?” She blurts.
“Yeah.” Will says, like it’s the most casual thing in the world, and Aubrey pushes her chair back abruptly.
“Uh ok. I’ll be right down.” She’s already pushing the button for the elevator, waving off the coworker calling after her, asking if everything’s okay. 
Will’s waiting outside, with two cups of coffee in hand, and even though he’d said that he was, Aubrey’s still kind of surprised to see him. He passes her one of the cups in his hand and she takes it, thanking him as she does. “So what’s up?”
“I need a favor.” Will says, starting to walk, and Aubrey follows easily, sipping on the latte he’d brought her. 
She laughs. “You said. What do you need?”
“The team’s got this thing on Friday.” Aubrey gives him a look, because she knows what the thing the team has on Friday is, Steph’s been talking about it for a few weeks now, and it is not as casual as Will is throwing it out to her right now. “And I think I need you to come with me.”
“Do you though?” Aubrey says. “Do you really?”
“I tried for you not to.” Will admits, shooting her a grin, which she appreciates. “But, well, it’s a thing I would have brought any other girlfriend to and then Mitchy opened his mouth too…” He trails off.
“So find a dress.” Aubrey sums up.
Will nods. “Please. I’ll pay for it.” He adds, but she brushes it off. 
“If we’re still stuck in this for Blue and White, you can buy me a dress then.” She grins, and Will returns the grin.
“Deal.” 
-----
Fixing her curls one last time in the mirror by the door, Aubrey grabs her clutch and runs downstairs to meet her Uber. She’s late, not like super late, but more so than she’d  hoped to be, even after texting Will that she was running behind with work and that she’d have to meet him at the venue probably, if he didn’t want to be late.
She shoots off a text to him when she gets in the car, letting him know she’s on her way, and makes polite chatter for a few minutes with her driver, leg bouncing anxiously until he pulls up to where she needs to be.
Will’s standing outside the door when she pulls up, like he’s waiting for her as if this was an actual date, looking at something on his phone in the meantime, which gives Aubrey a minute to take a peek at his suit. He looks good; she might not have any desire to actually date Will, but she can absolutely admit to both herself and anyone (including Steph) that he’s probably the most objectively attractive human she’s ever met, and the suit only ramps that up. It’s custom made, perfectly fitted, a navy blue that brings out his eyes, and maybe a little more casual than some others she’s seen but in a good way. 
His choice in suits makes her feel better about what she’s wearing. Aubrey’d been trying to work off what Steph was wearing, while making sure that what she'd picked out wasn’t overly fancy for the evening or too similar to what Steph had already chosen, ending up in a knee length dress with a sheer high neckline. 
“Hey!” She smiles, catching his attention, mildly disappointed that he doesn’t even flinch in surprise, only looks up as smooth as can be and returns her smile.
“Hey.” He slips his phone in his pocket, reaching out for her hand.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Aubrey says immediately, that terrible feeling of letting anyone down instantly relieved when Will waves her off. 
“You haven’t even missed the entire cocktail hour.” He says and she feels her eyes widen as he nods solemnly. “Yeah, it’s like that.”
“Our first stop better be to get me a glass of wine.”
Will laughs, pressing the button for the elevator. “Wouldn’t dream of it being anywhere else.”
Will refreshes his own drink as well, and selects a red wine for her after Aub hems and haws over the options for a minute, a choice that she almost can’t bring herself to take a sip of once the glass is in her hand, for fear that she’ll never be able to drink another Malbec again, guessing this one is well out of her price range based on name and bottle appearance alone. (She takes a sip anyway, it’s as delicious as she’d expected).
Will’s smiling, as if waiting for her reaction, like there’s not a wine she doesn’t like (well, chardonnay, but like, even that she’ll drink if it’s all that available). “Should we do this?” Aubrey asks him, ready to watch him be roasted by teammates for the evening, and he nods, hand moving to the small of her back, leading her deep into the crowd.
But for all the shit he claims to have taken recently about her, they must be on their best behavior, out in public. Everyone he introduces her to is nothing but friendly; the few people she’s met before this event greet her with smiles and open arms, welcoming her into the fold. 
“Are you sure these are the same teammates you warned me about?” She asks Will, when they have a minute to themselves, just finishing up a long and very nice conversation with Justin Holl, Jake Muzzin and their wives, and thinking of the series of texts he’d sent her this morning about “all these assholes.”
“They’re being nice, just for you.” He insists. His arm is still at her waist; it’s barely left there all night. 
“Ugh, so I grew up with seven siblings and I’m not even going to be able to use the skills I got from that to throw down?” She jokes. “What was the point?”
Will actually stops walking for a second, drawing her into him quickly when she stumbles, not expecting the abrupt stop in walking. “You have seven siblings?”
Aubrey nods, wondering if she should bother getting into her family dynamics right now, and settles for a short version. “On my mom’s side, yeah. My parents divorced when I was a baby, and they both remarried. My brother and I have more siblings from both of them; it’s just like a whole thing with my dad.” She winces.
Will’s grinning again, though, like he didn’t even catch it, and he points to himself. “One of six.”
“Oh my god!” She blurts out excitedly, before she can help herself. There’s not many people she knows with sibling counts even close to hers, step and half siblings including, let alone a family like Will’s. “See, you get it!”
“Get what?” She hadn’t even realized that Mitch and Steph had approached them, until Mitch pokes in nosily.
“That younger siblings are actual monsters.” 
“You talk to your sisters everyday!” Mitch frowns, because he doesn’t get it; he never has.
“Yeah, your point?” Aubrey gives him a look as the others laugh around them. “That’s literally what having younger siblings is, and you just don’t know it because you are one.”
“Shots fired.” Steph nudges him.
“You’re the younger sibling too!” he nudges her back.
“Mmm, traditionally, Aub and I count all our siblings together, soo.” She trails off, laughing at the look on Mitch’s face.
Aubrey’s nodding; their families had grown up so close that it wasn’t uncommon to see Steph and her sister hanging around with Aubrey and her brothers, from the time they were children, all the way until today. “That’s why when Cam starts driving me crazy when she’s here next weekend, I’m just dropping her at your place. Basically the same thing.”
“Ohh, so she’s definitely coming?” Steph asks, eyes wide.
Aubrey nods. “Confirmed it with my mom today, I’m going to meet her halfway.” She pauses for the briefest of seconds. “Want to come?”
“Yes! Coffee on the way?”
“Obviously!”
“Yeah, Will and I are definitely going to sit this one out.” Mitch nods firmly.
“You weren’t actually invited, but okay.” Steph pats his shoulder mock-comfortingly. “But we should all do dinner when we get back!”
It takes everything in Aubrey not to show the internal panic on her face. She’s insanely close with her sisters, despite the age gap- she’s close with all her siblings, the brothers that she’d grown up probably terrorizing their parents together and the younger ones that terrorize them all now. It was probably unrealistic to think she could make it through “dating” Will without him meeting any of them, especially knowing how close Steph is with them too. “Yeah, that would be fun.”
She feels Will squeeze her side gently, almost comfortingly, but before they can get much further with this conversation, someone’s coming around and asking them to find their seats for dinner, so they split off to their tables, with promises to make plans for the following Friday over the next few days.
-----
Will’s quiet on the drive home after dinner, in his very expensive car, which is fine because Aubrey spends that time marveling over it. Like, she knew he was boujie, but, wow. 
“Is your sister staying all next weekend?” Will asks, abruptly interrupting Aubrey’s caress of the soft leather of the seat beneath her legs.
“Hm? Oh yeah.” She nods. “Cam’s been a super pain since Kayls started high school this year since she’s still back in junior high, but worse since Kayls just got invited to her first high school party and it’s next weekend.” She sees Will’s wince out of the corner of her eye and laughs. “Oh my god, you don’t even know the half of it! When I texted Cam to invite her up next weekend, she was like why would I want to come hang out with a bunch of old people like you anyway?” 
Will’s laughing and Aubrey’s jaw drops until he shares, “When I was home last summer, my youngest sister made me drop her off at a friend’s house three doors away because I wasn’t cool enough to be seen with.”
She actually laughs at that- if Will, an actual professional hockey player, isn’t cool enough to be seen with, then who is?- but the attitude is so familiar.  “They’re super close, Kayls and Cam, and like I kinda get why Cam’s being super annoying about a lot of shit. Like, I know she feels like she’s being left behind. But god, does she have to take it out on the rest of us?” She shakes her head, clearing both the thoughts and a piece of hair out of her face. “It’s just the age, my mom and I talk about it all the time. They’ll be nice again in a few years.”
Will glances over at her briefly with a look of panic on his face, before flicking his eyes back to the road. “That’s not really a comforting statement. As someone with three younger sisters,” He clarifies. “Not someone meeting yours this weekend.” Aubrey giggles. “But actually, I was wondering what your plans were with her on Saturday night? If you wanted tickets to the game for you guys?”
“Oh!” Aubrey blinks in surprise. “That would...that would actually be really nice. She’d like that.”
“Yeah?” She can hear the smile in Will’s voice.
“Well, she’d like the flex on all her friends on Monday.” Aub admits, knowing that her sister could probably care less about actually seeing a Leafs game. “And on the boys, they’d be super jealous.” At his glance, she clarifies. “Cam’s a triplet.”
He mutters something under his breath and she giggles again; she’s pretty sure that was Swedish and she can guess what it was. “But they’re not coming?”
“Not this weekend.” She confirms. She is definitely not hosting all three of Cam, Tyler, and Danny for the entire weekend. No way, no how. “But once they find out you’re offering tickets? I’m sure my phone will be ringing.”
“You know where to find me.” Will shrugs, pulling up in front of her building. “Thanks for coming tonight.”
Aubrey grins at him. “Fooled Steph and Mitch no problems.”
It feels like it takes a second for the comment to register with Will, but when it does, he returns the grin. “Yeah, no problems.”
-----
Steph waits until they are well on the road to meet her mom and both sisters (because in a surprise twist that everyone saw coming, a high schooler got grounded and a party was cancelled) sitting in stop and go traffic, before bringing up what Aubrey knows she’s been dying to ask. “So how’s Will?”
“Fine?” She responds, before she remembers that she’s supposed to know these things and hastens to finish. “It’s been a busy week with like, work and this shit, but like, he’s good.”
Steph makes a noise, like she’s unsatisfied with that answer and Aubrey gives her a look after she’s braked with the masses, waiting for it to pick up again. “But, like, how are the two of you?”
Ah. Ok. So that’s what this is about. “We’re good.” She assures Steph, absolutely certain her best friend is going to see right through her. “Just like, figuring shit out, you know? It’s still new.”
Steph’s nodding. “I mean, it wouldn’t be if you’d just gone out when Mitch and I first brought you to dinner…”
“Stephanie.” Aubrey says warningly, picking up speed, probably with too much hope that the traffic has cleared.
“Fine!” Steph laughs. “I know, I can’t say I told you so to you or you’re going to panic and break up with him and probably dye your hair and get bangs or something, but like. I’m super happy for you guys. You were so cute last week.”
“What?” Aub says blankly, because she really doesn’t have much else to say, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because Steph’s on a roll now.
“Like, Will couldn’t take his eyes off you the entire night.” She continues. “It was super cute; he kept, like reaching for you, you kept finding him.” She taps Aubrey’s leg excitedly. “Ok, I know I said I wouldn’t, but I’m too fucking excited and I knew you’d be perfect for each other, I knew it.”
“Oh, look! There’s a tattoo place right at the next light.” Aub says loudly, even though she has no intention of getting a tattoo right now- all four of her tattoos were impulsive decisions and the three threats she’s made since she’s gotten in the car feel like far too much thought, not to mention the time crunch they’re on to get back for dinner-but it does serve as the threat she intends. Steph clearly has no desire to try and talk her out of getting one today and switches the topic to something she just saw on the Insta of one of their friends, which lasts them until they pull into the parking lot that’s serving as the meeting point.
“Aub!” For all that Cameron pretends she’s too cool for everything, just like every 14 year old Aubrey can remember, she throws herself at Aubrey the second that Aub and Steph get out of the car. 
Aub squeezes her back, wondering when she got so tall. “Hey Cammie.” Cam swats at her as she pulls back. She hates that nickname, the one that Aub and her three older brothers have called her basically her entire life, but they’ve never stopped, no matter how much their youngest sibling had begged. “Where’s Kayls?”
“Here!” Kaylee huffs from next to their mom, who’s chatting with Steph, has been since she hugged her the minute she got out of the car. 
Aubrey’s eyes narrow, taking in the sibling who looks most like her. “Is that my sweater?”
“No.” Kaylee says too quickly to be true. “Are we ready? We have dinner plans, right?”
“Meeting Aubrey's new boyyyyfriend.” Cam sings, and Aubrey shoves her hand in her sister's face. 
“Not if you’re going to act like that, we don’t.”
“Girls.” Their mom pauses, mid-reach for Aubrey, to give her youngest two daughters a full-on mom look. “Be nice.”
Aubrey laughs at the looks on their faces, before clutching at her mom. “Hi momma. Love you.”
“Love you too.” Her mom squeezes. “Thanks for this gift.” She whispers and winks because Aub knows that her mom loves all eight of them dearly, but these two in particular are driving her nuts right now. “See you Sunday, at Luke’s.”
“Bye, I’m sure I’ll call you ten times before tomorrow!” Aubrey waves at her mom as she gets in her car, sliding back into the driver’s seat of her own, where Steph, Kaylee, and Cam are chattering to each other as they buckle their seatbelts. 
It’s just as she’s pulling back onto the road that Kayls gasps. “Aub, I think I forgot to pack toothpaste.”
“Ohh, me too!” Cam realizes.
Aubrey exchanges a look with Steph quickly. It’s not looking promising that she won’t be making a call to her mom, to talk her off the ledge.
-----
“What do you mean, you didn’t bring pants?” Aubrey rubs her temples as she stares at her sister.
Kaylee shrugs. “I forgot to pack them.”
“I forgot shirts.” Cam calls from the bathroom, where she’d just showered. “Can I borrow one?”
“Did you bring anything?” Aubrey asks wearily. “Toothbrush? Underwear?”
“Of course I brought underwear.” Kaylee huffs, sounding legit offended, like she didn’t forget to pack pants on a weekend trip away.
“Well excuse me for thinking you might not have, since you didn’t bring anything else!”
Her phone buzzes on the nightstand again; it’s got to be the third or fourth time, but she’s honestly been so caught up in her sisters that she hasn’t had time to check. “Just, like, grab whatever from the closet. We’re already late.”
Sure enough, it’s Will texting, letting her know he’s downstairs. be down in a few, She responds, not bothering to go into the whole pants story. “Girls! Three minutes!” She grins at their shrieks, packing a couple things into her purse and laughing to herself as she listens to them get ready. “Kayls! Cam!”
“We’re ready!” They rush out together, Kayls dressed in a pair of her favorite jeans and Cam in one of her favorite sweaters-how they always manage to find her favorites is ridiculous-but they don’t have time for her to make them change. 
“Ugh.” Aubrey just says instead, ushering them out and locking it behind her. “Come on, Will’s been waiting.”
“Will’s here?”
“Yes?” She frowns at the two of them. “Where else would he be?” But Kaylee and Cam are already giggling to each other, enough for her to roll her eyes to herself as she leads them out to Will’s car, knowing it’s definitely too much to expect them to just be cool.
“Hey.” Will greets, as she slips into the passenger seat.
“Hi.” She returns, smiling at him.
“Uh, hi?” Cam says impatiently from the backseat. Will laughs, but Aub gives her a look.
“It’s been literally two seconds. Could you, like, chill?”
“Nope!”
Aub side-eyes her again, but turns back to Will. “These are my sisters, Cam and Kaylee.” They greet him eagerly, a sentiment he returns, and then spends the entire car ride to the restaurant where they’re meeting Steph and Mitch at answering every question they ask with absurd patience. 
“Oh, I smell garlic.” Kaylee says, once Will has dropped his car off with valet. 
“It smells delicious.” Aub corrects, because it’s definitely heavy on the garlic, but it smells heavenly. 
Will smiles over at both of them, though Aub’s not sure if he means it more for Kaylee or her. “This is one of my favorite restaurants.”
“Really?” She blurts out, before she can stop herself, and he nods, reaching for her hand. 
“Great food.” He confirms. “Come on; Mitch and Steph are already here.”
That certainly serves to get her sisters moving-all her younger siblings have stopped being impressed by Mitch but they still love seeing him just as much as they love seeing Steph- and they push their way into through the doors quickly enough that Aubrey rushes to catch up to them, not trusting them alone, and tugging Will along with her.
Cam and Kaylee have already found Mitch and Steph, already chatting away with the two of them, like they didn’t just see Steph two hours ago in the car, and Aubrey and Will slip into the last two seats at the table. 
“You good?” Will nudges her as they sit. 
Aubrey nods. “Yeah. Pretty good.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Pretty good.”
“Well, Frick and Frack may legitimately drive me crazy this weekend but.” She shrugs. “We’ll see.”
“What happened to dropping them off with Steph if they drove you too crazy?”
She laughs. “God, if only, Will. If only.”
“Will!” Kaylee interrupts, looking up briefly from her menu. “What’s good here?”
“Will! What’s this mean?” Cam adds and Aubrey takes a deep breath, even as Will looks like it’s his absolute pleasure to walk them through the names of some of the different dishes on the menu. 
“Wine, please.” Aubrey requests from the waiter, the second he arrives at the table. “Literally, anything you’ve got.”
But Will waves that off, ordering a bottle of red for the table, in perfect French. “Show off.” She grumbles at him quietly and he grins at her from over the top of Cam’s menu, before he goes back to helping her out.
From her other side, Steph’s hiding her own smile, or rather, doing a very poor job at hiding one. “What?” Aubrey presses.
“Nothing.” Steph says. “Just happy to be having dinner all together.”
“Well that’s bullshit.” Aubrey calls her out, at the very blatant lie; Mitch snorts into his hand to cover his laugh. “But always happy to be having dinner with you too.”
Steph beams, clinking her wine glass with Aubrey’s the second the waiter fills them both. “Again, tomorrow, pregame?”
Aub looks over at her sisters, who have moved away from asking Will menu questions and are, instead, asking him questions about the bun in his hair. “Assuming you aren’t bailing me out of jail instead? Sure.”
-----
Aubrey Dupont: we’re going to do apps with steph pregame but want to say thanks again for tix tonight! want to do dinner again with us after if you’re free? 
Will Nylander: i’m free dinner sounds good 😁 it’ll be late though once I get out
Aubrey Dupont: that’s fine! Id say breakfast but we’ve got to leave pretty early tomorrow to get to my brothers to knock a wall down!
Will Nylander: ….holy shit cam was serious
Aubrey Dupont: 😂😂lollll yeah they’re opening up the dining room and living room! We’re all going out to take the wall down, we’re supposed to meet Steph and Mitch and then head out
Will Nylander: lol does mitch know? he booked us a tee time Sunday 
Aubrey Dupont: stfu he did not😂 lol he probably just doesn’t want to get iced that early
Will Nylander: haha what??
Aubrey Dupont: hahaha the first time steph brought him home to meet our families, it was my parents Christmas Eve party, my brothers iced him like three times in the first hour. He was so trashed he couldn’t even walk back next door to Steph’s house. 
It’s just like a thing we do, all our siblings and he was not prepared for it at all 😂
Will Nylander: sooo if I left one in his locker this week, how much trouble would you be in?
Aubrey Dupont: lol a lot but it’d be worth it, you should 100% do that
Mitch Marner: we’re knocking down a wall tomorrow wtf why didn’t you tell me? I’ll brave a Smirnoff to knock down a fucking wall. What time are you and Will picking us up?
Will Nylander: i fucked up, sorry
-----
“That’s really cute!” Zach Hyman’s wife smiles as she hands Kaylee her phone back. 
“Thank you.” Aubrey mouths to her, as Cam and Kayls flock to the phone to check out the pictures she’s taken of them, and Alannah smiles at her knowingly. Aub’s sure she’s got sisters of her own. 
“I’ll see you soon.” Alannah promises. “We should do dinner soon, the three of us, next time the boys are out of town.” And then she’s pushing her way toward Zach before Aub can respond to anything.
“Not a word.” Aubrey says warningly to her sisters, as Steph snickers, thinking of how picky the two of them are about pictures almost always.
“These are actually really cute though.” Cam says, like she even means it.
“Yeah, she did good.” Kayls adds, sliding her phone back into her purse.
“So happy they meet your standards.” Steph says dryly.
“They are the ones to meet.” Kayls flips her hair and it’s all Aubrey can do to fight back a laugh. She honest to god forgets how funny they are sometimes, when they’re driving her as crazy as they are now. 
“You’re too much.” Aubrey tells her and Kaylee grins, looping her arms around Aub’s shoulders and squeezing tightly. “Okay, now you’re really too much. You’re suffocating me; get off! Look,” She nudges Kaylee away, noticing quickly that Mitch has appeared recently- without Will, but with Auston-and tries to draw her attention there instead. “Mitch is here, bother him instead.”
Kaylee peers over. “Honestly, who even cares about Mitch? I’d rather bother Will instead.”
Mitch’s jaw drops as Steph and Auston laugh, but Aubrey feels the tension immediately in her shoulders. “Jesus Christ, could you just say thank you to Will so he doesn’t think you’re a literal monster like the rest of the world does?”
“Thanks, Will!” Kaylee and Cam chorus, and she glares at them right up until she feels a presence at her side and realizes he’s actually right there. 
“It was great to have you guys here this weekend.” Will smiles at them, sounding absolutely sincere, not a hint of sarcasm. 
“We had so much fun.” Kayls is already gushing before Aub can even turn her death glare to her. 
“What’d you guys do today?” Will asks her and again, it’s the sincerity that gets Aub, like he actually cares to listen to her sisters tell him about the brunch place that she and Steph took them to this morning, the stores they hit afterwards, a few of their favorite spots, before they had to go home and get ready for the game. 
He’s sweet and attentive, asking all the questions that he should and nodding in all the right places. “You guys still want dinner?” He asks, probably as soon as he can find a time to interrupt. He’s got to be absolutely starving after that game.
“Yes.” Aubrey answers for them all; she doesn’t really care what her sisters actually have to say on the matter. If Will’s hungry, they’ll eat right now whether they want to or not.
“Can we go back to that bakery we went to earlier, first?” Cam asks, and Aubrey straight up glares at her, but before she can even say no, Cam’s already whining to her. “Oh my, god, seriously? Stop, Aubrey!”
“Ryan, like, swears you’re fun; I just don’t see it.” Kaylee adds, about their brother, the one just younger than Aub.
And like, Aubrey knows they’re just trying to get under her skin, but like, Jesus Christ. “That’s because Ryan’s an actual adult and whenever you two come up here I have to be your literal mom, because you forget to bring toothbrushes and pants and use manners!”
“Take like four deep breaths.” Will says, in that chill way he is about basically everything, and immediately Aubrey feels her glare swing over toward him. That’s basically being told to calm down and there’s literally nothing fucking worse than that, doesn’t he know that?
Probably not. He’s probably never been told to calm down in his life. Jesus, what was it again that made Steph think he was perfect for her?
Mitch, probably recognizing that Aubrey’s about to lose it, pulls Cam into his side for a one-armed hug, mentioning that he’s starving, which at least cues Kaylee into the fact that Will might be too. “Yeah, dinner does actually sound good.” Her eyes flicker over to Will first, before landing on Aubrey, and only when Aub sees the flicker of remorse in them does she actually take that breath that Will had mentioned. 
“What time are we meeting in the morning?’ Steph asks, and Aub knows she’s looking to smooth over any potential blow up.
“9:22.” She deadpans, laughing at Mitch’s face.
“It’s supposed to be a nice day!” He protests. “I wouldn’t have made a tee time if you two had told me we were knocking down a wall! I had to hear it from Willy! What’s this shit?”
“Kicked out of the group chat again.” Aub shrugs, even though she knows well and truly that he hasn’t been- and won’t be again until sometime early spring, when someone does it symbolically for a day as they do every year.
“I’ll kick you out of the group chat.” Mitch says childishly, as Steph tries to collect him, Auston already ready to leave, and promising Aub that they’ll make plans later that night about the next morning.
“Will, where do you want to take us tonight for food?” Kayls asks, as they part ways in the lot.
Will looks a little startled. “Oh! Uh, what-where do you guys want to go?”
“We want to go where you like to eat.” Cam says. “We’ll eat anything.”
Will looks at her for confirmation and Aubrey nods; none of them are picky eaters. “Sushi?” He suggests and both girls nod excitedly, racing off towards Will’s car. “See?” He nudges her as they walk to catch up. “They’re fine.”
She glares up at him; he bumps her again and then again, repeatedly until she smiles. “They’re not awful.” She agrees, especially now that they’ve reminded her just how nice they can really be, at times.
Will’s grinning, matching her own smile. “I know you love them.”
“Don’t call me out like that, William.” He mimes zipping his lips and she laughs. “Ugh, you dork. Let’s go eat.”
-----
Kayls and Cam are in peak hurricane form, only barely dressed and nowhere near packed and ready to go, when Will texts to announce that he’s arrived to pick them up in the morning, so Aub just responds with her apartment number and tells him to come up.
He arrives at her door a minute or two later, with a guest in tow. “Mitchy invited him.” Will explains sheepishly, as he and Auston make themselves at home at the breakfast bar in her kitchen.
“Sorry to just, like, crash.” Auston adds.
Aubrey blinks at them. She feels like Will, of all people, should know better. “There’s legit eight of us; we adopt strays all the time.” He cracks up at that; they both do actually, and she smiles, just as Kayls shouts something about Cam stealing her leggings, from where they’re still in her room gathering her stuff.
“They’re not even yours!” Cam shouts. “Aubrey, tell her I got them first.”
“Well I was planning on wearing them!”
“Well you didn’t say that!”
“It’s just like being at home.” Auston says, smiling fondly enough that Aub laughs. “Make sure you check the straightener before you leave or they’ll fight about who forgot to turn it off in the car.” And then she straight up cackles; that’s a fight she knows well.
Auston and Will are both laughing as well, even as she hears her sisters shout for her. She ignores it, running her hands over her temples and turns towards the cabinet. “Coffee?” She asks them, and they both laugh as a muffled shout can be heard.
“Please.” Will says and Auston agrees so she pours mugs for them both, making idle chit chat, interrupted occasionally as they wait for her sisters to finally appear and be ready to leave. 
They do, eventually, far later than Aubrey would have liked, and late enough that she’s grinding her teeth about it, loud enough that Will nudges her gently when she passes him to get her coat. He’s right though, it’s not like they’re in a rush to get out to her brother's house, but she’s anxious enough by that point to get moving that she doesn’t even realize what Kayls has taken from her closet to wear until they’re all climbing into Will’s backseat. “Oh my god, what are you wearing?”
“They’re literally yours!” Kayls snaps back and that’s not a lie, but it’s not what Aub’s got issue with either. It’s the absurdly clashing patterns in her leggings and oversized long-sleeve.
“I never wear them together.”
“That’s because your fashion sense is basic a-f.” Kayls pronounces each letter individually and Aub knows, she knows that Will and Auston are laughing at the look of disbelief on her face, even if she can’t see them. “You should take some tips from Will; his is on point.”
“Thanks, Kayls!” Will beams at her through the rearview mirror.
Aubrey ignores him. “Will’s homeless, that’s why he dresses like that.” She deadpans, which he protests immediately even as Auston cracks up.
“You’re not homeless.” Cam says to her, and it’s the fake innocent thing that does it for Aub. “Will could live with you.”
Aub pulls a face even as Auston just laughs even harder and Cam stares at her like she’s waiting for an actual answer. “Walked right into that one.” She mutters to herself, as Will meets her eyes in the mirror. He’s fighting back a grin; she can see the laughter in his eyes. “Will, coffee at the next Tim’s, please?” She’s going to need one to get through this.
Will’s full on grinning now, but he pulls off at the next exit in search of coffee and hands over his credit card before she can even object. The rest of the ride to her brother’s house feels like it passes in a flash, Kayls and Cam tumbling out of the car to greet Luke practically before Will’s even put it in park. 
The only thing that stops Aubrey from having a complete heart attack is the immediate sense of calm she feels from no longer calling herself in charge. Luke’s here; he can deal with this shit now.
She feels Will laughing at her as they exit the car. “I thought you’d be more nervous.” He says, as they walk toward her brother, side by side, with Auston.
She snickers. “For what?” And then leans herself into Luke for a hug. “Hi!”
“Jesus, what’d you give them before you brought them here?” Luke returns the hug. 
“Literally anything that would shut them up.” She says, dead serious, and then introduces Will, and Auston, almost as an afterthought. 
Luke is friendly and welcoming, like she knew he would be. They’ve never had the overprotective sibling relationship she hears about from people. They’re too close in age, only a year apart in school; or too close in general, sharing too much as they grew up shuffled to their dad and stepmom’s every other weekend for their court-mandated time. She’s never doubted that he has her back, but he lets her live her life, no matter how stupid the decisions she might make (though he’s certainly not shy about telling her when he thinks she making one).
“Fitz and Steph and Mitch here yet?” She wonders, as they walk inside, the chatter between her sisters and sister-in-law already evident.
“Running late.” Luke says. “But Ryan’s upstairs sleeping. He stayed last night.”
She grins at him, contemplating running up to wake him, but in the end decides against it, settling for following the sound of her sisters’ voices into the kitchen. Rachel’s standing at the counter, setting out snacks and listening patiently as Kayls and Cam detail their entire weekend to her.
“-Will got us tickets for Saturday’s game-”
“-we ate at this amazing sushi place-”
“Rach!” Aubrey interrupts, tugging her sister-in-law away from Kayls and Cam, who are talking over each other. “Come meet Will.”
Rachel sends her a grateful look and immediately turns her bright smile at Will and Auston, introducing herself to them both and offering them drinks. By the time that she, Luke, and Aub finish getting drinks for everyone, Ryan’s coming downstairs, rubbing a hand over his face sleepily, and the introductions begin all over again.
Then Aubrey and Steph’s parents come in with her two youngest brothers, which cues another round of that, and then finally, Steph, Mitch, and Fitz roll in, which has Aubrey cackling when Auston leans over and whispers. “You didn’t tell us your brother is Little Fred?”
“What the fuck are you on?” She frowns at him, but Will’s got the same look on his face.
Will nods over at Fitz, the stepbrother who’d been in the same grade as her growing up and one of her best friends for about as long as she could remember. Said brother is currently trying to mess up Cam’s hair with one hand, while fighting one of her triplets, Tye, for the last danish. “He’s come out with us a few times, I guess with Mitch? He looks like Fred.” She gives the two of them a look. Literally the only thing her brother and their goalie have in common is red hair. Will shrugs. “Little Fred.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” She declares. “The bar is so low.”
“Must be.” Ryan nudges her side. She hadn’t even heard him come up beside her. “Dating you and all.” 
She flips him off and he grins; Ryan’s actually the sibling closest in age to her, with the way all their birthdays work out, but from Luke to Ryan, all four of them are close and when Steph and her sister were added in there as well…well, the group chat gets chaotic.
“Hey!” Her mom snaps her fingers at them. “I don’t want to see any of that today.” And Aub can feel it in her face, the look she’s giving back to her mom, like certain that she’s not serious, because, honestly, has she met any of them? She peeks over at Ryan; he’s fighting back a laugh and that’s all it takes for her mom to lose it, the seriousness on her face quickly turning into a laugh.
It’s enough to get them all moving though, toward the wall they’re going to be tackling today, where they’re divided into teams by her stepdad and Steph’s dad, the only two who competently know what they’re doing.
“Ohhh!” Cam says immediately drifting towards the power saw. “Can I use this?”
Will pulls it away from her hands before she has the chance to even touch it and Aubrey’s calling out to her stepdad. “Mike! Are we stuck with these people all day?”
“Yes.” Her stepdad calls back; he’s already showing Tye and Danny how to demo their end of the wall.
Aub looks at Will and immediately mouths, “I’m sorry,” but he’s already loudly laughing at her. She kinda hates that he’s laughing at her, but she hates even more how contagious his laughter is.
-----
It’s a little past dinner time and Aubrey’s exhausted, too tired even to take her empty pizza plate to the kitchen trash can from where she’s sitting on the family room floor. 
Around her, the rest of her family is in a similar state. Ryan’s actually asleep on one end of the couch, and on the other end, Auston’s half-heartedly grumbling at Derek Carr and the Raiders, while Steph’s lying across Mitch’s lap on the other side of the room. It’s about as quiet as they’ve all ever been, even Mitch and her sisters, which is how she knows they’re all exhausted.
Next to her, Will’s been quietly munching on a plate of fries since he finished his pizza a while ago. Aubrey reaches over and steals one from him. “Hey!” He protests.
“You’ve had the whole plate!” She thought she ate a lot; she honestly doesn’t know where he puts it all. “I just wanted a couple!”
“A couple?” Will repeats and Aubrey nods with a grin, reaching out and swiping another one from the plate. “Keep this up and we’re going to have to stop for second dinner on the way home.”
“I could probably eat again by then.” She rationalizes, stealing another. 
Will laughs, sliding the plate over a few inches toward her, and Aubrey grins triumphantly. It’s quiet for a minute, or mostly quiet, the only sound for the next minute Auston moaning about a fumble, and Kaylee and Cam asking a question about it and then giggling to each other about it before they even get a full answer to it. 
It’s Auston’s perplexed face that reminds her and she nudges Will as she goes in for another fry. “Hey.” She bumps him again, grabbing his attention. “Thanks.”
Will hums, sounding almost confused, and glances over at her. Every time Aubrey thinks it’s impossible for him to be more good looking, he proves her wrong; and always doing the most innocent things. He’s just looking at her, with this tiny little smile, but the light’s catching his eyes and they look impossibly blue and gentle, so soft like the rest of him does right now, in a way he almost never publicly is. “For what?”
“For putting up with my sisters all weekend and their increasingly ridiculous comments.”
Will laughs and he’s so close that she can feel the vibration. He’s leaning back against the wall again, but his head’s tilted a little, just barely leaning against hers, and Aub leans into it a little as he starts to talk. “My two youngest sisters play this game, every time we go to the airport, yeah? After we’ve said goodbye and everything. It’s like this competition between them, for who gets the last touch. And they’ll like chase me down as far as they can until I get to security, back and forth between the two of them…”
Aubrey’s already giggling, picturing the scene. “Same shit, different day,” She summarizes the weekend.
He flicks his finger across her nose and she giggles again. “Bingo.”
-----
It’s only when they’re back in the car and on the highway back toward Toronto after stopping for sushi for a second dinner that Auston says, sounding entirely too casual to actually be casual, “So, like, what’s really going on here with you two?”
Aub feels her stomach drop and it takes everything in her not to look at Will, who of fucking course, plays it enitrely cool. “What do you mean?”
Auston leans forward, from the middle seat in the back, which he’d generously offered to take so that she could sit up with Will even though she’d insisted he’d want the leg room up front; she’s starting to wonder if there was more to it than that. He gestures between the two of them. “It’s just, like, not how you usually are with girls.”
Will’s head whips back to look at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He demands.
“Will!” Aubrey hisses. “Eyes on the road.”
Auston’s cackling as Will turns his attention back to driving, but continues to eye him up through the rearview mirror. Aubrey twists in her seat; she can still stare him down. “So anyway,” He continues. “There’s that. And then, I mean, I was in the car with him when you literally texted him your apartment number. That was pretty sketch.”
Aub swings her gaze over to Will. “It came over Bluetooth.” He defends. 
She pats his thigh. “Stick with hockey, kay?”
He laughs, and when she looks back at Auston, he’s laughing too, but he’s also got this thoughtful look on his face. “So anyway, what’s going on?” He presses.
“Steph and Mitch.” She says finally, after exchanging another look with Will.
“Ah.”
“That’s it?” She frowns at him. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Well, I mean, I’m sure there’s more to it, but like, I have met them before.” Auston grins when she and Will both laugh. “So what’d they do now?”
“Do you have an hour?” Will drawls.
“I have beer upstairs.” Auston offers, since they’re basically pulling up to his apartment, and since Will looks over at her for confirmation, Aub barely even takes a second before agreeing.
“Any wine?”
-----
It’s actually kind of crazy how relieving it is for someone else to know about her and Will, outside of the two of them. Aubrey hadn’t even realized how much it was weighing on her until it’s not, until the three of them had spent three hours laughing about it, recapping the entire thing and then just laughing about nothing.
She notices right away that it's equally relieving to Will, that the two of them will drift over to Auston when the team does something together, or that she’ll get a snapchat from one of them from the road that features Will and Auston off doing something ridiculous.
Steph calls her out on it one day, when the two of them are at a game one night. “I did not introduce you to Will for the two of you to spend time with Auston.”
“You ditched me last night!” Aubrey protests, but really, Steph’s not wrong. That was one time, because Mitch’s brother wanted to introduce his new girlfriend to them, and she’s been out here avoiding invites like it’s her job.
Steph continues like she didn’t hear a thing. “I introduced you to Will so that we could have great couples’ friends and hang out all the time, so why aren’t we?”
“I thought you introduced me to Will because we’d be perfect together?” Aubrey bitches and Steph gives her a look, so Aubrey promises that she and Will will do dinner with her and Mitch again soon.
Dinner soon, to Steph, apparently means that weekend, and Aubrey finds herself in Will’s car again, with a bottle of wine and a plate of dessert, driving out to Etobicoke on Friday night. “I like that I’ve claimed this seat now.”
Will laughs. “What?”
“It’s always set where I want it to be!” She grins. “Perfect leg room!”
Her phone buzzes as Will laughs again, but it only takes a quick glance at the screen to click back out of it. “You okay?” Will asks.
“Huh?”
“You just got real quiet, real quick.” He says, turning onto Steph and Mitch’s street. “Everything alright?”
Aubrey huffs out an aggravated breath, trying to decide what, if anything, she wants to say. “My other dad is being...my other dad.”
“Oh?” Will parks in their driveway and she huffs out another annoyed sigh as her phone buzzes in her pocket, knowing it’s just her half-brother again with more shit about their dad. 
“He’s like…” She gathers her stuff and tries to find the words as they walk inside. “I don’t even know. Everybody’s been freaking out since some lady tagged him in a bunch of pictures on Facebook last week but my siblings are at dinner with him right now and they asked him about it and he told them he’s not seeing anyone.”
“Wait, seriously?” It’s the first thing Steph says to her; Aub’s been bitching to her about the whole thing for a week now and she’s more than familiar with her issues with her dad. 
“Yes!” She cries. “My sister asked if he was seeing anyone, he said no. I guess one of the boys asked if he’d taken any trips lately, because of the pictures, and he said no. So he’s just straight up lying and I don’t know why!”
“Maybe,” Will says. “He’s not actually lying.”
Aubrey pats his arms gently. “You’re new here, so I’ll let that terrible thought pass.”
Will looks taken aback but she can barely spare a thought for that as Mitch says, “Maybe he got secret-married again and is just waiting until you’re all there to tell you-OW!” Steph elbows him hard and he grins anyway. “What? I’m just saying!”
“I already went to therapy once this week, Mitchy.” Aub mock-glares at him. “I cried for three hours and only didn’t dye my hair blue because Steph came to pick me up for the game. I don’t need to go again. Keep that shit to yourself and get me some wine.”
Mitch laughs; he’s equally familiar with her post-therapy routine and her feelings for her dad. “Alright fine.” He says, but there must still be something on her face because Will’s hand comes to rest on her shoulder right after that and he rubs it gently for a minute before he comes to sit next to her.
Conversation turns lighter after that- to Mitch’s brother’s new girlfriend, who Steph liked and Mitch thought was only okay and then to Will’s sister’s new boyfriend, who he hates-before they’re all more focused on food and a game later in the evening. 
It’s easy to ignore her phone buzzing when Aubrey and Mitch are dominating Steph and Will at Codenames (or calling cheaters, because Will and Steph most definitely are), but much harder to ignore in the car when she and Will are alone again, and Aub barely even notices when Will doesn’t make the turn for her place, instead just driving straight to his place.
“Oh.” She says quietly when he finally parks and they’re in the garage, instead of just pulling up out front of her building, like he has been recently.
“Didn’t want you to dye your hair blue tonight.” Will deadpans and Aubrey laughs, surprised that it’s kind of watery. 
“Fair, it was definitely a risk.”
Will smiles at her gently. “I’ve been told my guest room is supremely comfortable.”
Aubrey raises her eyebrows; she can siphon out the source of that one. “I hear your brother has pretty shitty taste.” She says and he laughs, that loud one he’s got that she can’t help but smile at because it sounds so ridiculous, but Aubrey’s already getting out of the car, ready to follow him up before he can see.
Will’s condo is pretty much everything she expected- a lot of modern pieces, a lot of white, very Scandanavian- but there’s plenty of Will in it as well. A lot of family pictures. Some hockey stuff-both Leafs and Team Sweden-but not an overwhelming amount. 
She’s still looking at some of the pictures (he looks so much like his mom) when he returns with a couple glasses of wine, and she accepts hers with a gracious smile. “Thank you.”
“We’ve been at this long enough for me to know that wine’s your thing.” He jokes and she laughs.
“I meant for bringing me here.” She shoves at his shoulder; annoyingly enough he doesn’t even move. “I definitely would have done something stupid.”
“What are friends for?” Will smiles and there’s that annoyed feeling again, maybe even more so than just a minute ago, tugging at her stomach, for really no reason. They are friends now, in pretty much every sense of the word. They hang out, they text, they do all kinds of things. It’ll actually probably be hard for her, to not be friends with him, or at least pretend to be, when they have to “break up” for a bit to annoy Steph and Mitch. 
“Yeah.” Aubrey says and it just sounds off so she takes a sip of her wine right away so he can’t see whatever her face is doing. “If you were really my friend, you’d let me borrow some sweats to sleep in. You know. Since you kidnapped me to bring me here.”
“Ohh, I don’t know if we’re that close.” Will says, but he’s laughing as he walks toward his room so she knows he’s kidding.
It’s a pretty quiet night between the two of them once they make themselves comfortable, just chilling on the couch and watching Netflix, and Will’s not stingy with his pours so Aubrey pours herself into his guest room a little tipsy, and maybe that’s why she texts him from bed. You were right, your guest bed is pretty comfortable.
*Supremely* comfortable. Told you so 😜
-----
Aub’s still in Will’s absurdly comfortable guest bed when her daily FaceTime call with her sisters comes in and she answers it without thinking. “Hey.”
“Where are you?” Kaylee asks immediately. “That’s not your room-oh my god, are you at Will’s?” She blurts and Aubrey wants to smack herself.
“That’s Leafs stuff!” Cam exclaims, popping her head into the frame. “You never wear Leafs stuff! Oh my god, do you live there now?”
“Back up, calm the crazy.” She’s cutting off this spiral before they’ve got the story of her and Will eloping spread to her entire family. 
Kayls pouts. “You never let us have any fun.”
“I do not want a call from Grandma this afternoon asking me why I got married to the blond hippie from the Leafs because you two can’t keep your mouths shut and she saw one bad picture.” 
Cam’s jaw drops in outrage. “That’s so rude, we would at least send a good picture out! Like she’d know how hot he really is; there’d be no need to google and accidentally come across a picture of him in a Sugo hat.”
That’s it. She’s up for good now. Aubrey throws the blankets off herself and sits up off the edge of the bed, rubbing her temples in hopes it’ll make her tiny hangover headache go away. Limited success. “You googled him?”
“Of course we googled him!” Kayls says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Aub, oh my god, he’s got-”
“I’m leaving this room right now.” Aubrey warns; she’s already at the door. “Stop talking about him like he’s not here.”
Cam immediately launches into a story about a couple of the girls on her field hockey team and something that had happened at practice after school yesterday, a story that she’s still detailing when Aubrey walks into the kitchen to find Will also looking into his phone with a fond look on his face as a loud jumble of voices shout back to him in what she can only assume is Swedish.
“Coffee’s back there.” He points, greeting her with a smile. “And mugs above it.”
“Thank you.” She’s pretty sure, from the expression on his face, that he knows how much of a lifeline that’s about to be for her.
“Hi Will!” Kayls calls and Aub glares at her, but Will calls back a greeting in return before returning to Swedish, but definitely in an argumentative tone.
It’s a couple more minutes of that-listening to Will speaking in Swedish and going through her usual morning nonsense with her sisters-before Will lets out the smallest groan and then looks at her. “My sisters want to say hi.”
“Oh.” Aubrey says, surprised more than anything.
And before she can really say anything, Cam adds. “Yes! Then we can talk with Will!” Which is how she finds herself sitting next to Will with his dog curled in her lap, both their phones in front of them, speaking with her sisters and two of Will’s sisters.
It’s pretty much maximal chaos, but when they both end their calls a few minutes later, Aubrey’s still smiling as she runs her hand through the dog’s fur and Will’s laughing to himself. “Mmm, good luck to you.” Aub nudges him, easy enough to do since she’s still sitting flush up next to him. “When they’re in town next month. They’ve probably all followed each other on Instagram by now already. Best friends in no time.”
“Gonna be busy with games.” Will says weakly. “Practices, media things. Think it’s gonna be your problem.”
“Like hell.” She laughs, shaking her head when he joins in and doesn’t stop. “Oh my god, that was not that funny!”
“Just thinking of all the ways they’re going to torture us when they’re all together after they’ve spent the last month talking shit about us in a group chat.” Will says, somehow still laughing about that, because he’s literally the most chill person on the planet. Like of course he’s not even bothered by that.
“I don’t have enough food in me to deal with that thought.” Aubrey declares, laughing decidedly less at the thought of actually meeting Will’s family. In person. Where they’ll have to actually see her and see what a farce this is. “Feed me.”
Will shrugs. “Let me change and we’ll grab brunch.”
Aub looks down at the very large sweats she’s borrowed to sleep in. “We’ll stop first, yeah?”
“Depends on how hangry you are.” Will calls back, already walking away.
She pulls a face at his back at that one. She’s actually pretty hungry, but like, she’s not dumb enough to go out to brunch with him in a walk of shame. Not when there’s already a group chat forming about her on Instagram. She doesn’t need Leafs Twitter coming for her too.
-----
It’s easy to settle in a routine from there; meeting Mitch and Steph for dinner a few times, joining Steph for games and then leaving with Will for a second dinner after, and easily splitting off to spend time with her own family and friends or catching up with them when Will is off on road trips. 
It’s so easy to settle into a routine like that, a relationship routine, that she lets herself get lulled into a false sense of security, the message from her dad catching her off guard completely one day.
“What’s wrong?” Will asks, when they’re at dinner after a game. It’s their thing now; pick a restaurant and grab some food right afterwards before he drops her off at home. It’s a nice way to wind down actually; she usually looks forward to it.
Tonight though, Aub has been uncharacteristically quiet since they met up and she was a downright bitch earlier when she and Steph were fighting about something. Like, she knows they’ll forget all about it tomorrow, but still. She owes her best friend coffee at the least. “Hmm?” She looks up at him, barely hearing his question. 
“What’s wrong?” He repeats, giving her a look before she can fight him against answering.
She pushes her food around a little-very uncharacteristic for her, and she can tell even Will’s picked up on that. “My dad wants to meet us all for dinner this week, which means he probably did get secret-married again.”
“Oh.” Will makes a face and Aubrey returns it, laughing when he contorts his even worse. “And that’s-I mean-again?” He finally settles on and she nods, ready to drop this bomb.
“It’ll be wife number six, but secret wedding number three.” She says, delighting in the way his jaw drops. “This is just, like, what he does; he just announces he wants to have dinner with us and then shows up and is like and here’s my new wife, like it’s super casual, and then we all wonder why I need therapy when he’s out here hiding wives and families like it’s a fulltime job.” She finishes, only realizing how heated she is about it when she looks up to find Will staring at her with wide eyes.
“Um.” Will starts.
“Sorry.” Aub hastens, flushing.
“No!” Will says. “No, don’t apologize at all, you can, like, share whatever you want. I just...I got like half of what you just said.” He gives her an apologetic look. “Missing a big chunk of this story.”
“Right.” Aub nods, pretty proud of how calm she sounds. Dr. Seth is going to be so impressed with her next week. “Sorry. We haven’t talked about the two secret families he was hiding when I was growing up. Ok, I’ll back up.”
“He what?” Will cries, but Aub waves him off, diving into the whole history of her dad, her half-siblings, and her step-moms...as well as their various divorces. 
“...and that brings us to now.” She takes a sip of her wine thoughtfully; Will has long since drained his and refilled. She’s pretty sure she didn’t miss anything. “And dinner that’s going to be an absolute disaster.”
“Do you want me to come?” Will offers.
“No!” She says immediately. That’s like-god, that’s the worst idea ever. They do not need to get her greedy father involved in this, who’d take one look at Will and see dollar bills. She’s accepted that she can’t change the way her dad treats her (after many years of therapy); she’s got another dad who loves her and it’s not fine the way her dad doesn’t remember her birthday or what she does for work or pretty much anything important about her, but it is what it is. But like, she’s not going to subject Will to it. “It’ll be-fine.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You think so?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “But thanks anyway.”
Will purses his lips. It’s clear that he doesn’t love that answer, but he doesn’t say anything more on the subject, asking her instead if she wants to split a dessert, as if he doesn’t already know the answer to that question, and Aub, grateful for the change in topic, even agrees to let him pick this time.
It’s a rare gift.
-----
Aubrey knows she had a little too much to drink at dinner with her dad, but she’s not so drunk that she can’t recognize that this is Will’s door she’s standing in front of, knocking loudly and repeatedly. 
She has only a moment to contemplate that-that it’s here she chose to come to after yet another disaster dinner, instead of Steph’s or her brother’s or back home to her own place-before Will’s opening the door, the confusion passing quickly over his face when he realizes it’s her.
“Hey.” He beams and steps back, silently inviting her in, but Aub doesn’t want him to go further away from her. That’s why she came here. “Whoa, hey!” Will says, as Aub steps in the condo and presses herself against him. “Are you-” He lets out a strangled choke as she tiptoes up and loops her arms around the back of his neck. “-okay?”
“Peachy.” She says, pulling him down to kiss her.
It’s not really a great kiss; Will’s kissing her back for a moment, and then pulling back. “Wait-”
“No.” She whines, leaning in for another, and he does it again, caught up for a moment in kissing her, but then it’s like his thoughts catch up to him and he breaks it.
“Aub, we shouldn’t- we aren’t-”
And like why shouldn’t they? They’ve been doing this fake relationship for a while now and not able to hook up with anyone else because of it. He’s objectively the hottest person she’s ever seen. There’s no reason that’s coming to her right now that says she shouldn’t. “We’re friends now!” Aubrey says, running her palms over his shoulders. God, why weren’t they doing this the entire time? “Right?” And Will nods, slowly, but it’s a nod, “It’s fine, friends hook up all the time.” 
“You really want this?” His thumb brushes her cheek as she nods and only then does he pull her back in for a kiss.
-----
If Aubrey thought Will’s guest bed was comfortable, it’s really got nothing on his actual bed. She rolls over, curling into the pillow a little more and opens her eyes to see the sliver of sunlight coming through catch the edge of Will’s face, that one piece of hair that’s sticking up that should be unattractive, but is totally not.
It’s really just unfair.
The sound comes from behind her and Aub jumps when she realizes it’s Will’s alarm going off.  It seems like it barely even fazes him; he just reaches across her and silences it; his arm falling across her when he drags himself back.
“Hi.” She smiles.
“Hi.” Will laughs and it lights up his whole face; she can’t help the hand that comes up to trace over his features. “Come on, that’s not fair.
“What’s not fair?” Aubrey asks innocently, trailing her nails down his chest.
He groans. “I have to go. Skate.”
“You don’t have to go.” She pouts and he groans again.
“You’re making it really hard to have to.”
“Good.” Aubrey giggles, only stopping when Will shuts her up with a kiss.
“Really hard.” He repeats as she rolls her hips into his.
“Fine.” She sighs, flopping onto her back, and she knows the move does exactly as she’d intended when his eyes go right to her chest. “I guess I’ll just have to stay here in bed until you get back.”
“Please do.” He insists, leaning over to kiss her again. “Fastest skate ever.” Will promises.
“You can’t control that.” Aubrey reasons, even as Will’s shaking his head at her while he climbs out of bed.
“Fastest skate ever.” He repeats.
She can’t really confirm or deny that it is; but when he does return, pulling her out of a doze by jumping on top of her, there’s coffee on the table for her too. It’s cold by the time she gets to it.
-----
“You guys are being weird.” Steph comments one night, as Aub’s cheering after Will scores a tie-breaking goal. 
“What?” Aubrey gives her a look. “What do you mean?”
“You and Will.” Steph says, like it should be obvious. “You’re like-” She breaks off, making a noise of frustration.
“You’re in the honeymoon phase.” Alannah supplies helpfully and Steph lights up.
“Yes!” She cries and Aubrey glares over at Alannah but she merely smiles back. “But it’s like, you’re back in it? Like, you weren’t for a while and now...you can’t take your hands off each other again!”
Aubrey doesn’t really know what to say to that. She’s not denying that she and Will have been all over each other ever since that first night they slept together. She can’t even remember the last time she went to her apartment for anything more than to pack clothes and she’s lost track of the number of times she’s reached out for him only to find Will already reaching for her.
But before? She can’t think of any moment where they were ever like they are now. Like there’s too much space between them even when she’s right next to him. Or this pull that brings her toward him no matter where he’s at.
But she doesn’t...she doesn’t know what to say about that. Because it’s not like anything has changed between them. They’re still friends; they still laugh and joke as usual, still gossip about their friends together, are still just waiting to drop a big break up on Mitch and Steph. 
Nothing’s changed, even if maybe, she thinks, something has.
So she shrugs at Steph and says, “We’re just happy. Is that so bad?”
Steph beams and leans her head against Aubrey’s shoulder, and like, Aub knows that’s exactly what she’d been hoping for since she introduced her to Will, but Aubrey still feels like something wasn’t right about what she said.
-----
Aubrey tugs on the Nylander jersey that drapes over her frame as she and Will walk into the hospital conference room. “Are you sure about this?”
“It’s tradition.” He grins. “Stop playing with it.”
“That’s what she said.” She says as dryly as she can, managing to keep the face until he laughs, and then she cracks up with him. 
That’s how the two of them walk into the conference room where the team is meeting; laughing so loudly that everyone stops what they’re doing to turn and look, but she and Will only get a bunch of fond smiles before everyone turns back to their own conversations.
Steph gives her a knowing look when they approach hand in hand, which Aubrey ignores pointedly. “You didn’t warn me we’d have to actually go things wearing this dumb jersey when you plotted to get us together.”
“Oh I didn’t?” Steph says innocently as Mitch and Will sputter in protest. “Must have slipped my mind.”
“Dumb jersey?” Will nudges her.
Aub shrugs, looking up at him with a cheeky grin. “It’s a little big. Might have some trouble getting out of this thing.”
Will grins. “I’m sure some help can be arranged.”
Mitch feigns gagging. “There are children around.”
Wills hand drags up her side briefly-too briefly- as he grins at Mitch. “Where, Mitchell?” But he backs off and Aub does too, both of them catching up with teammates and wives and girlfriends around them.
Or they back off a little, but Aub still finds herself drawn int0 his orbit, especially once they start splitting off into groups to move through the hospital to go see the kids. His hand will brush against hers as they move between rooms; she’s bumping her shoulder against his arm comfortingly as they talk with parents.
It’s not very subtle, but they don’t need to be. Except…
“What is going on?” Auston hisses at her, in passing, as he’s about to step inside the room Will’s just about leaving.
“Nothing.” Aub says innocently, but Will reaches for her hand when he leaves, opting for a fist bump with Auston instead, and Auston’s eyes widen, but Aubrey tugs Will along before he can say anything. “Come on, let’s grab some water real quick!”
The diversion doesn’t last long; Auston catches up to her only two rooms later while Will’s in talking hockey with a little girl and she’s waiting outside, leaning against the wall. He joins her, looking in as well for a moment, before looking over at her. “This is a terrible idea.” Auston says flatly.
“You were on board with it!” Aubrey hisses, trying to keep a smile on her face.
“That was before I realized you guys were sleeping together. Now it’s going to backfire and go to shit.”
Aubrey frowns. “Why?”
“Why?” Auston repeats, like he can’t even help himself. “Oh my god, you don’t even-” He stops abruptly. 
“Don’t even what?” She prompts, when it’s clear he’s not going to continue.
But he doesn’t continue. He just rubs his temples for a minute and mutters under his breath. “Fuck me, how do I have to be the smart one here?”
“Hey!” Aubrey protests, offended. “I am always the smart one.”
“Not right now.” He says cryptically. “And it’s hard to tell who’s being dumber: you or Willy.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Aubrey frowns, but Auston’s already walking away. “Auston!” He ignores her. “Auston!”
“Hey.” Will’s reaching for her arm gently. “What’s wrong?”
Auston’s out of sight now anyway. “Nothing.” She shakes her head, clearing her thoughts and then looks up at him. “Next room?”
-----
“What are you doing Friday?” Aubrey looks up from scrolling through her family’s group chat; Will’s peering at her from across the island.
“Nothing.” She says, after thinking about it for a minute. “What’s up?”
“We play my brother on Saturday.” He says and the shoe doesn’t drop until he adds, “So my parents and sisters are coming in for a bit. Watch the game. Do early Christmas. Hang out a bit.”
“Oh.” She bites her lip. It shouldn’t-it shouldn't be weird. He survived a whole weekend with her sisters, he’s met her entire family; they’ve gone out a few times with varying numbers of her brothers since then. It just...feels weird now.
Will eyes her carefully for a second but continues. “They come in early Friday morning and I made dinner reservations for that night, if you want to come with us.” 
He says it super casually, the way he is about pretty much everything, but she knows him well enough now. There’s a little hopeful tone at the end of it, almost like a question even though it’s not phrased as one. “Yeah.” She says, and even though she’s already nervous about this dinner that’s literally days away, it’s worth it to see the smile grow across his face. “I’d love to come with you guys.”
“They’ll be excited.” Will says, which really undersells just how excited his sisters actually are when they do roll into town later in the week.
Daniella throws herself at Aubrey the second she walks in the door, chattering excitedly about meeting her, and spending the weekend together, and dinner that night, all before Aubrey can even put her purse down. She doesn’t know what her face is doing but whatever it is is bad enough that Will says something to his sister in Swedish and follows it up with a glare when she giggles something back to him.
It works though; Daniella detaches herself, but she does stay close, almost bouncing along next to Aubrey as she steps further inside. “Come on.” Will nods toward the kitchen. “My parents are in here.”
Fuck, his parents. She takes a deep breath. “Cool.”
He grins. The panic must definitely be showing on her face, but his sister just keeps talking through it- Aubrey can relate- or Daniella just doesn’t notice it in her excitement. But Will does, still grinning at her, and she brushes against him purposefully with her shoulder as she goes to follow Daniella, only for him to grab her hand as she passes.
“You don’t have to be nervous.” He squeezes her hand and the only thing that stops her from frowning is his sister. It’s kind of a harsh reminder of the circumstances that she is meeting his family under, the details behind what’s happening here, and that someday-probably soon even- they’ll go back to...well, she hopes that they’ll at least still be friends. 
Even if they stop hooking up.
Danielle goes right up to Stephanie in the kitchen, the two of them whispering to each other in a way that immediately reminds Aub of Kaylee and Cam, enough that she has to fight back a laugh. But it’s Will’s parents that really draw her attention. Michael and Camilla are exactly how she’d pictured from every story Will’s ever told her, full attention on her as soon as she and Will enter the kitchen.
“This is Aubrey.” Will introduces.
“Hi!” She smiles, hoping it’s bright and warm enough to hide her nerves. 
And it works- or more likely, Will’s parents are as perceptive as he is- because they jump right into chatting easily with her. 
She loves them immediately.
They’re warm and friendly, like they’re welcoming her, even though they’re the ones who spent hours on a plane recently. Will’s mom- Camilla, she insists- draws her into a conversation about her family right away- “William told me you have many siblings as well.” “Mum!” “Mum, they’re the best!”- which keeps them going for a while until Michael reminds them they have a reservation to keep. 
“You can keep talking at the restaurant.” He teases Camilla, who’s glaring at him. “Some of us are hungry!”
She rolls her eyes at him- a look that is so similar to one Aubrey’s seen Will make a thousand times- but it serves to get all of them moving. They do keep talking at the restaurant, Camilla shoving her own son out of the way to pull Aubrey in the seat next to her, and Daniella sliding in the seat on her other side before Will can grab it, only for him to mutter something to her in Swedish, sending her quickly sliding over to the next one.
Dinner seems to fly by but it’s actually a few hours later that they’re returning home, pulling out a bottle of wine for a night cap. Aubrey’s just about preparing to go home to her own place before Will’s mom stands up and kisses the top of her head, right in line with all her own kids, promising to see her in the morning, and then the night wraps up and Will’s pulling her into his room, like it’s any normal night.
“Are you-” She trails off abruptly as Will walks right to the closet, like no strange thing. But, what did she even want to ask? Are you sure you want me to stay? It’s not going to be weird if I do?  
“What’s up?” Will pops his head out of the closet.
“Nothing.” Aubrey shakes her head, moving to brush her teeth. She’s not even sure she knows where that question was going; she can’t explain why tonight feels weirder than any other night that she’s climbed into his bed before.
It does though, and that’s made even more evident by the way she tosses and turns once they climb into bed and turn the lights off, settling in on what’s become her side of the bed, right after she brushes her teeth and runs through her nightly skin routine.
It feels like it shouldn’t be so hard to sleep- it’s been a long day, following a long week, preparing for Will’s family to arrive, but she can’t seem to get comfortable and her thoughts are racing.
She rolls over again, facing Will this time, only to find him looking at her with amusement. “You okay?”
“Can’t sleep.” She admit, biting her lip
Will grins, pulling her close. “I can fix that.”
“I’m not having sex with you while you’re parents are here!” Aubrey hisses.
“No?” Her breath hitches as his fingers dance lower down her stomach and then-
“Will!” She laughs, as he gently pinches a ticklish spot.
“Shh!” He’s grinning, she hates him so much. “My parents are-”
“Don’t say it.” She says, surging up to kiss him so he can’t finish that sentence. God, she hopes his walls are thick.
-----
“Stop.” Aubrey hears Will right outside the door. “Go away.”
She can hear one of his sister’s respond, but the actual words get lost in the chaos of her own sisters’ FaceTime, which she’s wrapping up as she lies in bed. It’s loud enough outside that she knows Will’s family is awake already, bright enough that she probably should get up, but she’s too comfortable to make herself move.
“Daniella!” She hears, followed by something in Swedish just as the door opens and a blonde head pokes in.
“See! She is awake!” And that’s all the warning she gets before Daniella is jumping up right next to her.
“Daniella!” Will snaps again, but Aubrey’s already sliding over to make room for her.
“She’s fine.” She assures him, wrapping her arm around Daniella’s shoulders as she cuddles in close.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Daniella says to her brother, not bothering to pull herself away from Aubrey’s iPhone screen, where she’d barely wasted a minute before jumping into chatting with Kayls and Cam. 
Will’s leaning against the dresser and shaking his head in amusement, watching as Aubrey manages to finish up her call (a task much harder with Daniella in her ear, calling just as much nonsense back as her sisters do), but there’s a soft smile on his face that Aubrey almost can’t bring herself to look at, so she starts twirling her hand through the ends of Daniella’s hair. 
“I can’t believe you two.” Daniella huffs, and she’s so much like Will, just loving her hair played with; Aubrey tries to hide her grin because she knows he’d fight her on it if she had to say it out loud right now. “Not even inviting your sisters here for the weekend.”
“Why would we invite ourselves into that kind of roast?” Will says dryly. “The two of you are bad enough.”
“Like you’re not going to talk about us anyway,” Aubrey adds. “I’ve seen the receipts.” She teases. “I know you talk about us on instagram.” 
“You talk about us on instagram?” Will demands immediately.
“No.” Daniella says, unconvincingly.
“They talk with my sisters every day.” Aubrey whispers to him and laughs when he turns his outraged face toward his sister, who avoids his gaze completely.
“Seriously?” Will cries.
Daniella shrugs. “We have a lot to say.”
“I’ll give you a lot to say.” Will says, mock-threateningly, before throwing himself on the bed on her other side and poking his finger in her side until she’s laughing so hard that she’s begging for him to stop. He does, after one last poke, which Daniella returns with a pout. “Go get dressed.” Will nudges her. “Or Aubrey’s going to go to brunch without you.”
“Aubrey wouldn’t do that.” Daniella says confidently, standing to leave. “She’s nicer than you.” 
Will barks out a laugh. “Is she?”
Both Nylanders turn to look at her, just as she’s swinging her legs out of bed and Aubrey shrugs. “I wouldn’t leave your sister behind.” She says, grinning when Will laughs and Daniella’s got her phone out of her pocket before she even leaves the room.
-----
Will and Alex are close. Aubrey knows this. She knows they talk pretty much everyday whether it’s texting, Facetiming, or even actual phone calls. They’re brothers, sure, but more than that; they’re best friends.
And maybe that’s why it’s hard not to shrink under Alex’s gaze the second they meet. It’s not that he’s not friendly when Will introduces them, returning the smile she gives him.
It’s just that his gaze feels piercing in a way that none of the rest of his family did. It feels like Alex sees through all of her but more than that; he’s studying all of her and doesn’t like what he sees.
God, she doesn’t know what she’s going to do if Alex doesn’t like her.
She tries to be bubbly and bright, more listening than contributing to this conversation that’s mostly just brothers catching up. She knows that dinner later, and at their early Christmas celebration tomorrow, will really be when she gets to make her big impression on him. 
“Willy!” John Tavares calls, looking apologetic about the interruption. 
“Be right back.” Willy pats her arm gently before jogging down the hall and now Alex’s full attention is on her. Now she can’t help but shift her weight from foot to foot, even as Alex smiles at her. “So, Aubrey, huh?”
She fights back the urge to bite her lip. “Yup.”
“It’s exciting to finally meet you.” He grins and Aubrey’s jaw drops a little. “Will talks about you all the time.”
“He-he does?” She asks quietly. It’s about the most unexpected thing Alex could have said to her.
Alex bursts into laughter. “Uh yeah.” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but before she can press anything further, Will’s back, slinging his arm around her shoulders and squeezing her into his side tightly. 
“Ready for second dinner?” Will presses a kiss to her temple.
“Always.” Aubrey leans into him, ignoring the knowing look that Alex is sporting currently and the feeling in her stomach that doesn’t quite feel like butterflies.
-----
Aubrey tries to give it a few days after the Nylander’s leave town, hoping the feeling in her stomach will calm itself, but when it’s been a week and it hasn’t settled, she’s forced to admit that she’s going to need outside help.
Can you let me in? She sends, when she’s sure she’s outside the right door.
Open. Come in. 
She frowns at the response, opening the door. “I don’t love that!” She calls as she walks deeper in the condo. “You should really-” She stops abruptly, as a blonde whips her head around to glare at her and Auston stares at her wide-eyed. “Oh!”
“Oh?” The blonde repeats, kind of mockingly, but also seething, and Aubrey doesn’t really know what to do, so she looks over at Auston, who’s pointedly avoiding both of their eyes. “Unbelievable.” She shakes her head, shoving past Aubrey and only when the front door slams does she hear Auston breathe.
“What the fuck?” She asks him immediately, “You could have just said no, it wasn’t a good time to come over!”
“I wanted her to leave!” He protests. “I tried everything! She even volunteered to come take Felix on a walk with me!”
Aubrey cackles, barely managing to compose herself at Auston’s glare. “Well, go and get his leash. We can walk and talk.”
She gets quickly distracted by Felix’s excitement for a walk, snapping like twenty pictures on her phone, before Auston finally prods her about the reason she even wanted to meet today. “So what’s up?”
She takes a deep breath. “Am I in love with Will?”
“Are you in love with...are you fucking kidding me?” Auston responds immediately, looking at her like he had that day they were at Sick Kids- like she’s completely missing something that everyone else knows.
“I’m gonna take that as a yes.” She says reasonably.
“Oh my fucking god.” He says, sounding distressed. “Don’t you have, like, a therapist for this shit? How did I get drafted for this?”
“I mean, yes, I do, but I haven’t gone into the details of it with Dr. Seth before this and I don’t think an hour would cover it.” She says; she’s thought about that already. Auston rubs his temples. “Stop that.” Aubrey chides. “Your hairline is bad enough.”
“Well you’re not helping!” Auston cries. “Jesus Christ, am I in love with Willy? Where the fuck have you been?”
“Egypt, I guess.” She says and he stares at her flatly until she explains. “Denial?”
“Fuck off, I hate you so much. Oh my god.” He groans. “Willy would have laughed so hard at that, fuck you.”
The worst thing is that she knows he would have. He’d have laughed and laughed and laughed, his eyes crinkling and his smile bright and warm, so loud that she couldn’t help but join in.
“Holy shit.” Auston says quietly, watching the smile on her face. “You’re really in deep.”
“Ugh, yes.” Aubrey groans, covering her face. “I hate it. I hate these feelings. I hate not knowing. I hate-”
Auston cuts her off, choking out a laugh. “Not knowing? Not knowing what?” And then he chokes again, once he looks over at her. “Not knowing if Will-” He stops abruptly looking like he’s got a secret that he shouldn’t be telling. “Come on, you aren’t this dumb.”
“You’re being serious?” She says quietly, looking over at Auston hopefully. 
He avoids her eyes, bending down for a minute to pet his dog, but Felix absolutely betrays him by trying to run towards a new smell on a nearby bush, giving him absolutely nothing to look at instead of her. “I mean, come on.” Auston gives her a look. “Don’t make me say it.”
“Did he say it?”
“No.” Auston shakes his head, tugging gently on Felix’s leash to turn around. “But Aub, really? He brought you to meet his whole family.”
“He met mine too.” She reminds him. “And so did you!”
Auston shakes his head. “You...you just don’t see how he looks at you.”
Aubrey bites her lip, but she can’t resist asking. “How does he look at me?”
Auston doesn’t even have to think before he responds. “Like the rest of us aren’t even in the room.” 
“Oh.” She says quietly, looking down at the ground. Felix is just trotting away happily, like Aubrey’s entire world hasn’t been flipped on its axis. 
Auston, at least, seems to recognize the effect of what he’s said. “Look, even if you’re not ready to talk with him, just, like, look at the guy. You’re not in this alone.”
She’s definitely not ready to say anything, but, well, she could give that a try. Just try and see what Auston sees.What everyone sees apparently. “Alright.” She agrees.
“I won’t say anything.” Auston adds. “You two can figure this mess out on your own.”
“You’re the best.” Aubrey declares, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
“I know.” Auston smirks, pulling Felix’s leash out from under her feet.
“Jerk.” Aubrey laughs, shoving his shoulder gently. “If you didn’t have the second best dog in the world right here, I’d push you harder.” She crouches down to scratch Felix’s ears, only for Auston to pull him out of her reach.
“Second best?” He cries, outraged. “Nuh-uh. You don’t get to pet my dog after that kind of disrespect.”
“I just ranked your dog above Zeus!” She protests. “But Pablo’s my boy.”
Auston releases his hold on the leash a little and Felix trots over toward her arms as he teases, “I thought we just agreed Willy was your boy.”
“Yeah, well,” Aubrey scratches behind Felix’s ears, smiling as his tongue lolls out. “Man’s best friend.”
-----
Will’s acting funny when Aubrey sees him the next day.
She only catches him for a few minutes before the game, when they briefly cross paths at his place when she goes to pick up a jacket she left there, and she doesn’t know how to explain it, but something just seems...off.
It’s like...he barely looks at her when she’s in there digging around what’s become her side of the bed and then he brushes past her, muttering something about how he needs to go and for her to just lock up whenever she’s done, which would be fine, except he usually waits for her if she’s around when he leaves so they can walk out together.
Something’s just off.
“Are you sure you didn’t fight about anything?” Steph frowns at her, later that night. “Even like a small, stupid thing that maybe you brushed off? Because you do that.”
“No!” Aubrey swears. “At first I thought he was just annoyed about the book, because the book I’m reading right now takes place in Sweden, so like every few pages I ask him if it’s real? Or what it’s like?”
“God, you must be the most annoying girlfriend.” Steph giggles.
“Don’t even, I know everything about you and Mitch.” Aubrey pokes her and Steph giggles again, admitting defeat. “But no! He wouldn’t even look at me! Something’s up!”
Steph purses her lips. “That is weird.” She admits. “It’s very...not Will.”
“No!” Aubrey cries. “Will doesn’t sit and let things stew! He doesn’t care enough about what people think about him for that.”
“So why is he acting like this then?” Steph asks and Aubrey blows out a frustrated breath.
“I don’t know!” She says. “And I just want him to tell me what’s going on.”
The rest of the game is fairly uneventful for the two of them, slipping quietly out of their seats after the win and chatting between themselves and a few other friends as they all wait. One by one, the boys all make their way out of the locker room, and Aubrey frowns as even Auston and John walk out, stopping briefly to chat with her, before even they go, until finally, finally, Will steps out, his face flickering when he sees her. 
“Hi?” She says, a little annoyed.
“Hi.” Will says, like nothing’s just happened, like he didn’t just do a double take of the worst kind at her mere presence.
“What’s wrong?” She frowns, reaching out for him and gently sliding her hand on his forearm.
“Nothing.” There’s no other word for it; Will flinches. 
“Will.” Aubrey breathes as he shrugs off her arm.
“It’s nothing.” He repeats. “I’m just tired.” Which is so clearly a lie and she frowns, ready to call him out, but he reaches for her hand and says, “Let’s go eat,” with such finality that she doesn’t really know how she’d bring it up.
All she knows is that his hand feels cold in a way it never has before and the silence they sit in at dinner is like nothing she’s ever felt with him, even before they started sleeping together.
-----
“Merry Christmas!” Cam throws open the front door dramatically before Aubrey, Will, Steph, and Mitch have barely even shut their car doors. “Come on, you’re late!”
“Oh boy.” Aubrey mutters and she hears Steph and Mitch laugh.
Will, however, is as quiet as he’s been all drive up to her parents for their annual Christmas Eve party- as quiet as he’s been all week, as he’s been since whatever happened- and it makes her wonder why he even came. She’d told him he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to; he’d just given her this tiny smile and asked her what time they had to pick up Mitch and Steph.
“How are we late?” Steph asks, as all four of them start yanking off coats and scarves the second they walk in the door. “None of the neighbors are even here yet!” 
Cam huffs at that bit of logic and turns on her heel, walking away from them as they laugh, which cues Aubrey’s brothers into their arrival. Tye and Danny poke their heads around the corner of the wall, calling for Mitch immediately to show them how to do something on a new video game, but right away they’re thwarted by their mom. “Later.” Mitch whispers to them, as Tye and Danny grin, following the four of them into the kitchen. 
In the kitchen, they find Aubrey and Steph’s moms working in tandem- the way they always have on Christmas Eve- to finish the appetizers and set food out. They stop only briefly to greet their daughters and their daughters’ boyfriends, and to direct them on where to put the desserts they brought, before they’re shooing them all right back out.
“Dads in the basement?” Steph asks, like they all don’t know the answer already, and Danny nods, leading the way down the stairs, where Fitz and Ryan have already started a beer pong game against Mike and Tom.
“Shotty next.” Mitch calls, while he waits for Aubrey and Steph to say hi to their dads.
“You gonna be able to walk back next door?” Fitz snorts out a laugh.
“That was one time!” Mitch protests. “Nobody warned me how much drinking there was on Christmas Eve!”
“It’s like we hadn’t spent the last four months together before that.” Aubrey deadpans, focusing more on watching Will greet her stepdad with the same enthusiasm as he had her mom, and her brothers, and Cam.
But then, he comes back to her side, and when she goes to tangle their fingers together, his hand stays limp, just kind of letting her do what she wants, not returning the gesture at all, instead of pulling her closer like he used to.
“Guess I thought you two were the anomaly.” Mitch teases. “Then I learned I’d have to bring my A game all the time.” 
“Yeah buddy.” Tom says, looking over at his daughter’s boyfriend right after he sinks Fitz and Ryan’s last cup. “Who’s with you?”
-----
By the time Mitch and Will get demolished in beer pong, Aubrey and Steph are fighting back a laugh at their dads’ light buzz already going and the neighbors have started to arrive, which brings a temporary pause to pong play for more introductions.
The neighbors all love Will, which, of course they do. Aubrey’s not surprised at all. He’s funny and charming and personable, just has this air that draws people in, and every one of her mom’s friends finds her at some point after they meet Will to gush about how wonderful he is.
“Yeah.” Aubrey says, almost helplessly to Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Morris, as she watches Will with Kayls and Cam across the room. “He’s pretty great.” They smile knowingly at her, Mrs. Jones winking as she passes, leaving Aubrey to watch them with a fond smile on her face.
It’s Will who notices her staring first, because of course it is. Kayls and Cam are oblivious to everything around them. He catches her eye, still laughing about whatever they’re talking about, and there’s a second where his smile grows when he sees her, a second Aubrey feels a grin growing across her own face.
And then it all stops abruptly as something flashes over Will’s face, and as quick as the grin was there, it’s gone.
Aubrey frowns and watches as Will returns to talking with Kayls and Cam again, but notices the smile on his face seems forced now. She wants...well, she doesn’t know exactly what she wants, but she’s tired of not knowing what’s going on with him.
“Hey.” Fitz nudges her shoulder. “It’s too early for you to be sad about going to your dad’s tomorrow. Come take a shot with me.”
“I-” It’s not that. She starts to say, but stops herself. Today’s not the day to try and tease out whatever’s going on with Will. Whatever it is could wait until after Christmas. “Yeah, sure.”
Fitz grins, leading her over to the makeshift bar, corralling a few friends as they go, but by the time he starts pouring, the crowd around them has gotten bigger. Will’s standing next to her, but the space he’s left between them feels so purposeful, and it only makes Aubrey frown as she listens to Fitz’s Christmas toast, as he cheers to a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, to good friends and great family. “And a way too cool future brother-in-law.” He jokes. “Don’t fuck this up, Aub!”
“Yo!” Mitch protests loudly as Aubrey feels the breath get stuck in her chest. 
She can’t even look at Will, so tense she can hardly bring her shot glass up to her mouth. The alcohol barely even burns and she knows it’s not because she’s too drunk to taste it; the numbness of her brother’s comment still stinging, and it’s well after she’s deposited her shot glass on the counter that she realizes, “Where’s Will?”
Mitch frowns, looking behind them. “He was right here, wasn’t he?”
Aubrey nods slowly, trying to stand on her toes and search for him. “Can you just-” She starts.
Steph’s right on her wavelength. “You look up here; we’ll check downstairs.”
Will is nowhere to be found on the main floor, so she heads upstairs and finally finds him in the room they’d thrown their bags in earlier. “Hey.” She breathes out a sigh of relief. “There you are.”
“Here I am.” Will says quietly. He’s in front of the taller dresser, looking at the bulletin board covered in pictures from high school and college- one of the few relics left in the room from when it was hers before her mom refashioned it into a guest room. 
“I’m sorry about Fitz!” She blurts. “He didn’t mean any-”
“We should be wrapping up soon, right?” Will says abruptly, interrupting her.
“What?” Aubrey frowns, shocked. That is...not at all what she thought he’d say.
“This?” He gestures between the two of them. “Like, Mitch and Steph definitely think we're a thing. Can call this off soon?”
“Um.” Aubrey tries to breathe but something’s definitely restricting that ability. “We…what?”
“We can stop this pretending.” Will says, like it’s obvious, and Aubrey feels her stomach drop. This...this was all pretend to him. “Do that break up that’s going to crush them. The whole reason we did this.”
“Right.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “Uh yeah, we can do that.”
Will shrugs. “Cool.” He says, and then turns and walks away, leaving Aubrey standing there wondering where exactly she went wrong.
-----
“Ok.” Steph snaps her fingers and only then does Aubrey look up from the Leafs vs. Calgary game that her best friend invited her over to watch that she’s paying absolutely no attention to- and hasn’t actually been able to focus on all night. Her best friend is standing in front of her, holding a new bottle of wine, and looking concerned. “I’ve asked for your glass like four times now. What’s going on?”
Aubrey bites her lip and holds her glass out. If she’s going to do this, they’re both going to need refills. “I have to tell you something.”
Steph frowns immediately but fills Aubrey’s glass and then her own. “Uhh, ok? What’s up.”
Aubrey doesn’t know whether she needs a deep breath or a sip of wine to settle her nerves. She goes for both. “Will and I aren’t together.”
And maybe...maybe that was the wrong way to phrase it, because Steph’s face just falls. “I’m so sorry, babe.” She says, reaching out and rubbing Aubrey’s arm. “I really thought-” She shakes her head and Aubrey’s still trying to figure out what she said wrong, what she can say to make her see what she really means. “Are you okay?”
“No.” Aubrey says and Steph looks like she wants to reach for the wine bottle and pull her in for a hug at the same time, until she continues. “No, I mean; Will and I aren’t together now because we were never really together at all and no, I’m not okay either, actually, now that you mention it.”
Now Steph frowns uncertainly, like she doesn’t know what to say. And that look? The one on her face right there? If it didn’t feel like her heart was already breaking, she’d be cherishing that look.
Now she can’t even enjoy it.
“You’re going to have to explain this one to me.” Steph says, her voice carefully neutrally.
So Aubrey does- beginning with the night that Mitch and Steph had had them over and her and Will’s plan to get them to stop nagging, to when they’d started sleeping together, to how it felt like they were together for real and on the same page, right up until they weren’t.
“I wanna be so mad at you right now.” Steph says, after a long silence.
“You should be.” Aubrey admits. “I would be.
“Well, you’re making it really hard looking so sad.” Steph glares. “And being so dumb.” Aubrey’s jaw drops, even if the callout is probably well deserved. “Will looks at you like you are the center of the universe. He looks like his entire day has gotten better every time you walk into the room. For God’s sake, he willingly met your dad on Christmas last week! You cannot honestly tell me you think he doesn’t really want to be with you!”
“He told me he wanted to stop!” Aubrey cries. “He was the one who said we should do the breakup!”
“Well if you don’t want to, then tell him!” Steph dares.
“Stephanie.” Aubrey frowns. 
“What?”
“I can’t do that!” Aubrey hisses.
“Why not?” Steph pours another glass of wine for herself and then passes the bottle over. Aubrey accepts eagerly. “Did Will tell you why he wanted to stop this...dating thing?”
“...no.” Aubrey sighs. It’s another thing that’s been driving her crazy.
“So ask him.” Steph says plainly. “And tell him you don’t want to stop.”
Aubrey bites her lip nervously. “But what if he says no?”
“Honestly the worst thing that happens here is that you still break up.” Steph says gently. “But this really just sounds like a matter of you two actually needing to talk about where you stand. Will’s not a mind-reader, Aub; he can’t have known you didn’t want to stop things, especially if this was all your idea in the first place.”
Ugh, she’s right. “I hate everything about this.” Aubrey sing-songs. “Including the fact that you even introduced us.”
Now Steph grins. “You do not hate that we introduced you. You just hate feeling vulnerable.”
That’s too accurate to address, so Aubrey flips her off and reaches for the wine again.
-----
Will picks her up for the Leafs annual New Year’s Eve party and it’s unfair because no one should look that good dressed in black pants and a sweater, but there’s Will waiting by the car with a beanie on his head and a pea coat left open, for maximal torture is the only reason Aubrey can think of.
“Hi.” She breathes, running across the street to him as best she can in her heels. 
It takes him a second to respond. “Hi.” He says finally, opening the door for her. “You uh, planning on blinding us all tonight?” He teases, once he slides into the backseat of the uber with her.
Aubrey giggles at the lame joke as she looks down at her glittery skirt. It’s such a lame joke but she’s just so relieved he even made it. That they still have dumb things to laugh over. “Hmm, over-under on how many of us are wearing something sparkly tonight. 10?”
“Over.” Will answers immediately and she giggles again.
The ride doesn’t take long so it’s only a few minutes before they’re pulling up to the club, where they run into Travis Dermott and his girlfriend exiting their uber at the same time. “Nine more.” Will whispers in her ear, as Kat turns to greet them, and they both catch sight of a sparkly tank under her jacket.
“Hush.” Aubrey bites back a laugh, but only barely, before she pulls Kat in for a hug. Inside is about as loud as she’d expected but once they all step upstairs into the VIP section roped off for them, it’s easier to hear, easier to think, and easier to breathe.
Or at least, it is for a moment. She can feel Will’s eyes on her from across the room, where he’s at the bar ordering drinks for the two of them, and she and Kat have gone to say hi to more people.
“So, uh.” Steph says, in lieu of hello. “I don’t think Will’s being weird anymore.”
When Aubrey turns and follows Steph’s eyes, Will’s still looking at her, unashamed in his gaze or getting caught. He winks back at her, grinning when she smiles at him. “No.” She says slowly. “I guess not.” Steph just grins at that, kind of smugly, and Aubrey huffs at that, turning away to greet Morgan and Tessa behind her.
It’s not long before Will returns with drinks, still grinning as he pulls her immediately to the dance floor. He pulls out some of his most ridiculous moves and Aubrey laughs, harder and harder the more she drinks, and then finally falling against him after he and Mitch attempt the Toosie Slide together. 
“Why are you laughing?” Will demands, wrapping an arm around her waist and taking her hand, leading her into some weird kind of slow dance, even as the song changes into something by The Chainsmokers.
“I just like seeing you like this.” She grins.
His brow furrows. “Like what?”
“Just-” She doesn’t know how to explain it. How open he is right now, how loose and easy and warm he looks because he’s just able to be himself, and how happy she feels to be with him, especially when he’s like this. “Just happy, I guess.”
Will grins again and presses a loud kiss to her temple, that she barely has time to giggle at, because he says, “Always happy to be with you,” like it’s the most casual thing in the world. 
And Aubrey gasps in shock, but she doesn’t think Will even notices, because he’s dipping her back over his arm right after that and then she’s too busy laughing again.
-----
Steph flops down on the remaining couch seat and ignores the look that Auston sends her in favor of fanning herself with her hand. “Sure.” He says dryly. “I’ll move over a little.”
“Would you? Thanks.” She snickers and he shakes his head fondly at her.
“How about you?” He looks over at Aubrey. “Gonna squish me in the corner even more?”
Aubrey’s already settled herself on his other side, on the edge of the couch. “Nah, I’m good here.” She bumps her shoulder against his.
“Is it even possible to squish you in the corner?” Steph muses.
“Why are you squished in the corner?” Aubrey asks, confused. “What, you couldn’t find a date for New Year’s?”
“I make it a point to not bring dates to holiday parties.” Auston says and Aubrey’s jaw drops.
Steph’s snickering into her palm though, so it’s clear this particular brand of assholery isn’t unfamiliar. “Holidays and events.” She cackles. “Keep those expectations low.”
“Although now that I know that all it takes to make a girl leave is to just have you walk in my house the next morning…” Auston trails off thoughtfully.
Aubrey shoves at his head, ruffling his hair on purpose, but she can’t help but laugh along with him. “Don’t you fucking dare. I’ve got better things to do than that.”
“Like what?” Steph says, too innocently to be real. “Will?”
“I’m leaving.” Aubrey stands, as Steph and Auston both laugh. “I don’t have to listen to this.”
“Is noon good tomorrow?” She hears Auston call after her, while Steph cackles next to him. “How about 12:30?” She flips him off over her shoulder, without looking back, instead pushing her way around Fred and his new girl, to find Will where she’d left him at the bar with Mitch.
But at the bar, she finds only Mitch, who’s looking a little confused. “Where’s Will?” She asks.
“Um.” Is all Mitch says and Aubrey frowns immediately. 
“Mitch, what happened?” Aubrey says flatly and Mitch caves right away.
“I don’t know!” He says. “We were just ordering drinks, watching you guys, everything seemed fine, and next thing I know, he was walking away!”
“Well where did he go?” She asks impatiently, barely waiting for Mitch to point before she’s shoving her way through the crowd.
It feels like she circles the entire building before she finally finds Will, and it’s more like she happens to run into him than she actually finds him, which just annoys her even more, enough that she grabs his hand and pulls him outside to a spot far enough away that it’s quiet enough to talk.
It’s not quiet- it’s still New Year’s Eve and there’s people all around them going up and down the street- but it’s far enough from the door that they can’t feel the music anymore, at least. 
Will’s staring at their hands, still linked, but he’s not saying anything, and even though she’s the one who dragged them out into the cold, he’s the one who started acting weird in the first place, and she feels her annoyance grow. “I thought we were having a really good time tonight?”
Will sighs. “We were.” He pauses. “I was, at least.”
“Ok, I was too.” Aubrey says slowly. “So, what happened?”
Will sighs again. “Look, it’s fine, like this was never supposed to be a thing with us, yeah? I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. I’ll get over it.”
She’s so confused. “Get over what? Why are you mad?”
“I saw you,” Will says. “Coming out of Auston’s one morning. I was driving past, after practice on my way home.” He shrugs, almost casually, but she can see in his face how hurt he is. “And like, we were never supposed to be a thing.” He repeats and she frowns. Why does he keep saying that? “So I’m not mad at you and I can’t even be mad at him. But I saw you and Matts together and I knew I liked you more than you liked me.” He shrugs again, trying to play off his words as light as casual, but Aubrey’s trying to put the pieces together of what he said. “I know you’d rather be here with him tonight, but that’s why I can’t do this anymore.”
“Oh my god.” She breathes. “You’re so dumb.”
“Hey!” Will protests.
“We’re so dumb.” She corrects, because, really, it’s the truth. “I was at Auston’s that day because he was the only one who knew about us at the time and I needed to talk to someone about if I’m in love with you!”
Will doesn’t move for a second, the longest second of Aubrey’s entire life. “Where, uh, where’d you land on that one?” He asks, like he’s kind of nervous for the answer.
And Aubrey can relate; there are butterflies in her stomach, even though she’s positive she knows how this is going to end now. “Pretty strongly in favor for.” She says and Will beams, that bright smile that lights up his entire face. “I didn’t get to tell you earlier, but I’m always happy to be with you, too.”
“That’s good.” Will says mildly, and Aubrey grins, waiting for the rest. “Because I really love seeing you smile like that.”
Her jaw drops a little. She’s not upset about what he said at all; it’s just so not what she expected him to say. And in that moment of silence, Will grins down at her once more, before leaning down to kiss her.
-----
It’s late the next morning by the time Aubrey tumbles out of bed, yanking a t-shirt of Will’s over her head. Will’s been up for at least an hour already, and she kisses his cheek as she passes, giggling as he lightly pats her ass in return.
“Coffee’s still warm.” He says.
“I still love you.” She teases. “That’s not changing just because you kept the pot warm.” Will flips her off and returns back to the game he’s playing on his Switch. “Have you seen my phone?”
“Near the front door.”
Most of her stuff is still by the front door, thrown hastily down when they’d come in late last night. Her phone’s still got a little battery left, filled with messages from late last night and earlier this morning, but one in particular catches her eye.
Steph LaChance: i told you so 😉
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zhuhongs · 3 years
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Ever since I watched Your Name Engraved Herein two weeks ago, I have wanted to talk about Jiahan as whole but in particular this scene right here that starts around the 40 minute mark. 
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CW’s: discussion of religion, internalized homophobia, violent homophobia, choking, and lack of consent. Generally, the same cws as in the movie. 
Read more bc it’s uh.. 2.7k
all images are described in alt text
As soon as I watched this scene I just knew it had to be really significant and now rewatching YNEH, I realize that this is a major ideological turning point for Jiahan as a character. From this point on he slowly begins to accept that he’s gay and starts to consciously act on his feelings for Birdy. However, I must first add some context and insights on Jiahan’s prior behavior before I dive into this scene as a whole. At the beginning of the movie, we see that while Jiahan feels different from the rest of his roomates, he still sneaks out with them when they go hook up with girls, despite not showing any interest in the girl he’s with. He feels very different from the rest of his friends, but still goes along with them due to peer pressure. Later, he tries to dissuade them from violently hazing the gay student, Xie Zhenhong, (his name is never said in the film but it says so on his uniform shirt, and that what I’ll refer to him as for the rest of the post) but is reluctantly influenced to gang up on the student as well. He closes his eyes while he’s about to strike the bat down on the student, until Birdy rescues the student-- and Jiahan in a way-- from what is about to play out. After this, his friends accuse him of being in the same stall as Birdy (which he was) but he denies it, not wanting to explain why he was there and the ensuing taunting from his friends.
 While its obvious that Jiahan has feelings for Birdy, he isn’t confident enough to pursue them outright. Birdy is the more confident one in both their friendship and in his sexuality, not caring about how anyone perceives him and does what he wants regardless of the consequences. Jiahan is the one worried about societal stigma and goes along with things he doesn’t want to do. However after this encounter with the gay underclassman pictured above, Jiahan become more brave and honest about his feelings towards Birdy. Interestingly enough in the scene directly after this, Birdy begins to conceal his true feelings for Jiahan and pursue a straight relationship with Banban. He doesn’t do this hurt Jiahan, as he does reciprocate Jiahan’s feelings, but to discourage him from coming out and becoming a social pariah for being gay. Birdy himself doesn’t mind being an outcast, but he does not want to see the same thing happen to the one he loves. So instead of letting Jiahan do that, he tries to discourage Jiahan from ever pursuing him by getting a girlfriend and suggest Jiahan does the same. In the same day, both Jiahan and Birdy come to opposite realizations about their feelings for the other, thereby changing their dynamic for the course of the movie. Someone else has picked apart Birdy’s scene in their own post. If you haven’t read that analysis, please go read it, because its really good at explaining Birdy’s character since most of his story isn’t directly revealed to us. We must read inbetween the lines and piece it together, which can be confusing on a first watch.
Anyways, now we can focus on Jiahan. At this point in the movie, Jiahan is trying to understand why he’s upset that Birdy is showing interest in a girl in their band while dealing with his own internalized homophobia and denial over his sexuality. He then turns to the only out gay person he knows -- Xie Zhenhong, who he sees in the cafeteria with new bruises on his face. He looks at Jiahan with a smile. This makes me feel like Zhenhong probably picked up on Jiahan and Birdy’s feelings for each other since last year, when he saw them exit the same stall in the bathroom. Having been the Distinguished Out Person in a group before, I can definitely relate to the way Zhenhong reacts to Jiahan. It the typical “oh honey, you don’t realize it yet, but I know you’re gay” reaction. 
 Jiahan waits outside the cafeteria and calls out to out him from behind. At first Zhenhong ignores him as we can see that he smirks a bit when he first speaks. He definitely heard Jiahan but doesn’t answer him until he repeats himself a few times. Zhenhong purposely stops when the two are in front of the stained glass window, away from others. Jiahan’s word choice towards Zhenhong is also interesting as he addresses him as “學弟” which is a term for an underclassman. To my understanding, it’s not overly formal nor is it overly familiar, however it is the nicest way that anyone has addressed him all movie. Jiahan than asks him who gave him those bruises, showing concern for his well being. He then reveals why he stopped Zhenhong saying “Actually I want to ask you, when did you start liking boys?” This really seals the deal to Zhenhong that Jiahan is talking to him to try and sort out his own feelings towards Birdy. While his suggestion that Zhenhong perhaps “see a doctor” or “consider getting a girlfriend” read as a microaggression to most viewers, Zhenhong himself can tell that Jiahan is asking him this in good faith. And perhaps, this might be the most understanding anyone has been towards him since Birdy helped him out prior. Before he responds, he looks up at Jiahan and fixes his bangs. This all stumps Jiahan whose eyes dart around, speechless. Zhenhong then circles his arms around Jiahan’s neck, a very intimate gesture, and studies him for a moment. We cannot see Jiahan’s face at this moment but he does shuffle slightly, his body language nervous and confused, but not upset. After looking at him, Zhenhong then goes in closer, assumedly to kiss him. At this point, Jiahan physically stops him and grabs him by the throat. However, Jiahan’s face doesn’t seem to be angry, if anything, his face looks more scared and confused-- akin to a ‘what are you doing?’ moment.
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Initially Zhenhong’s choice to kiss Jiahan read very...strangely to me. Why would the screenwriter, as a gay man that grew up in the 80’s, choose to include this? What was there to gain? To me it seemed like it was reinforcing the stereotype of gay men being overly flirtacious and viewed as predators. Why show a nonconsentual attempted kiss at all? I thought about it a lot, both for this scene and the following one with the old man and later between Jiahan and Birdy because it seemed?? Odd to me?? Isn’t that a disservice in representing gay men? I don’t fully have the right answer but I feel like by writing the scene like this, it goes to demonstrate how Jiahan still isn’t fully comfortable with being gay. And also that lgbt people, especially teens, aren’t always going to be good rep. Liu Kuang-hui wasn’t writing the movie to be an perfect, morally uplifting, santized gay narritive. He was writing something that spoke to his real life experience as a gay man in 1980’s Taiwan. In real life, people do questionable things and good narratives are supposed to make you question characters and their actions and judge for yourself whether what they did was right or wrong. The narrative isn’t looking to condemn Xie Zhenhong for doing this. Xie Zhenhong is ultimately a victim of violent homophobia, that will not hide himself or his sexuality despite the violence he faces. He isn’t perfect, nor is Jiahan, nor is Birdy, nor is anyone in the film. 
Although now having rewatched this scene upwards of eight times in writing this, it feels like Zhenhong didn’t assume this action to be without consent. Of course, no words were explicitly exchanged about kissing, and I’m not trying to make the case that it’s okay to kiss someone without their consent, that’s harassment. However, Zhenhong did gave Jiahan time to express his discomfort before proceeding. Zhenhong first got close to Jiahan by brushing his bangs, Jiahan did not say anything or look visibly uncomfortable. He then put his arms around Jiahan’s neck, and stared at him for a good ten seconds. At this point, Jiahan had time to say he was uncomfortable. As we know it, consent does indeed entail a verbal, understood yes from both parties. However given the context, I can understand why Zhenhong thought that Jiahan was consenting at that moment. However the moment Jiahan revoked his consent Zhenhong stopped trying to kiss him. Zhenhong shouldn’t have gone in without getting verbal consent, and Jiahan could’ve done something other than grabbing him by the throat. They were both in the wrong. Violence shouldn’t have been the reaction, nor should’ve kissing someone without their verbal consent. The lines were very blurred, and proper communication could’ve resulted in a better interaction but like I mentioned above, I don’t think the writers wanted to portray the scene in that way. The intent was not to say that Zhenhong’s actions were romantic or something to emulate. It was very purposeful in showing to interplay of homophobia, gay desire, and religion.
The scene is set up like a religious confession. Zhenhong purposefully leads Jiahan to the stained glass, a metaphor for his religious guilt. He doesn’t look Zhenhong in the eyes, his voice is hushed, and body language nervous, and troubled-- it communicates to Zhenhong that he thinks he may be gay and wants either reassurance that he isn’t or acceptance that is. Regardless, it’s a very vulnerable and intimate moment. Jiahan is facing him like ‘hey, I know my friends were bullying you and I wanted to save you but was too much of a coward and almost took part in harming you. I’m sorry. I know you saw that me and Birdy were in the same stall together, and that you saw me just telling him not to talk to the girls, and neither of those are heterosexual things to do. Please, help me.’ He’s asking Zhenhong to pass judgement on him, is he gay or not? By virtue of even asking that question, they both know the answer -- Jiahan is in love with Birdy, but whether Jiahan can accept that or not is up to him. In a way, Zhenhong is testing Jiahan to see how honest he can be with himself. By approaching him like that, he’s testing to see whether Jiahan can accept being intimate with a man or not. It’s not a good or ethical test, but it sure is effective. Because in his head, Jiahan is coming to realize that he doesn’t mind a man being close to him in a romantic way. Although, he isn’t fully there yet. He still grabs Zhenhong. But as Zhenhong stares at him despite the hand around his throat, Jiahan really has to think about his actions. Is that what he really wants to do, or is that what he’s been taught to do? It illustrates his internalized homophobia perfectly. Jiahan is literally staring gay desire in the face, rejecting it, while in front of his religion. Zhenhong finally answers Jiahan that “he has always loved boys since he was little, it’s never changed.” Upon hearing that his grip loosens and he pulls away. And the fact that we can hear him well means that Jiahan was never choking him, his hand was there, but not gripping. Zhenhong pulls him in closer and tilts his head, and says “and it never will.”  Zhenhong’s words are very deliberate. It’s as if he anticipated this might happen and knew exactly what to say. He wants to carve it in Jiahan’s brain that no one chooses to be gay. They always are and no amount of denial, like the kind Jiahan is showing, will change that. He then finally lets go of Jiahan, who is speechless, he thanks him, and leaves. Jiahan, however, stays there for a second, processing everything that has happened, and breathes heavily before the scene cuts to later that day.
Finally, I would like to examine exactly what Zhenhong’s “thanks” even means. Why would Zhenhong be thanking Jiahan? On the surface, it lookslike Jiahan waited for this guy to finish eating, then asked him invasive questions about his sexuality and suggest he should get help and then almost choked him. This should count as a microagression at best and an attempted hate crime at worst. But, as I just dived into, this wasn’t a bad faith jeer by Jiahan in order to bully Zhenhong, this was a genuine cry for help made by a deeply confused teenager. I feel like the “thanks.” at the end of the scene was perhaps just as puzzling to me as when I thought about why the staff would have that scene play out like that in the first place? I think his thanks is conveying many things. Firstly, thanking him for not actually hurting him and allowing him to have a semi normal interaction with a student of the same gender. As far as we know, many,  MANY different students have tried to hurt him in the new semester alone. Hell, we literally do not even know his name as everyone refers to him by the q slur or some other derogatory term, which speaks a lot to how he is treated. He also may be saying thanks for actually asking him about his sexuality. While Jiahan still followed it up with a suggestion he see a doctor, he still genuinely wanted to know why rather fully assume he has something wrong with him. Also, I feel like he might be thanking Jiahan for being brave enough to actually confront his sexualtiy and ask Zhenhong for help in the first place. Zhenhong really seems to be alone as the only gay student at the school but now knowing that Jiahan is realizing thathe’s gay as well, might make him be hopeful that things may slowly begin to change. Sadly, this interaction is the last time we see Xie Zhenhong all film which sucks because I really liked him. And I feel like it would’ve been really nice to see him after the time skip or at least have Jiahan mention him because this moment was one of the things that really made Jiahan start to accept his sexuality. A cut scene with Father Oliver also contributed, but I really wish Xie Zhenhong got more narrative than being the only out student that was then violently bullied. But, I acknowledge that MANY scenes were cut from the film for length so I can’t complain to much.
Oh god, that was a lot to say about a scene that was literally a minute and thirty seconds long. In conclusion!! I just had a lot of things to say about this scene and the scenes surrounding it. I think Jiahan is just a very painfully relatable character for many LGBT viewers and he was incredibly relatable for me which is why I felt the need to spend my day off writing this as opposed to doing homework. This scene is incredibly rich on many levels and I really appreciate YNEH as a whole for not spoonfeeding the viewer information and letting us interpret and question the scenes on our own and come to our own conclusions about the characters and yea. There’s so much going on and a lot of nuance and idk how to properly convey a lot of my thoughts but I tried really hard bc i really do love this movie. I really was puzzled by this scene at first, but now having examined it, it is my favorite scene in the movie. If this scene was changed in any way to make it more palatable, it would’ve been nearly as impactful which was a hard decision to come to, but I stand by it. I don’t know if I feel the same about other scenes but I will be reviewing YNEH as a whole in a different post. I have much more to say but my thoughts on this scene were far too long to not make it a separate post of its own. In essence, YNEH is about growing up and accepting yourself in all ways. Not all of those things are pleasant but if you cannot accept those things about yourself, you’re doomed to be miserable until you can live life unburdened by your own and societies limitations. Goodnight, my fingers hurt.
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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years
Text
Burn The Witch 5 - Cross Your Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.
Summary: Lying is supposed to be easy for spies.
Series Masterlist
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You were beginning to think undercover operations were some sort of punishments given to agents, because lying was one thing, but creating a whole life around that lie was another.
Not only were your knives replaced by a bunch of paintings on the wall, you now had some photos in frames; old photos of people you didn’t know, people who were supposed to be your “cover” family.
You’d still prefer to have your knives on the walls though.
“You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to be on my side!” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear, and heard Chloe’s laugh.
“I am on your side, I just can’t do anything about your uniform.”
You plopped down on the couch, setting your heels down on the floor.
“Bucky might be from 1940s, but he knows that it’s the 21st century now,” you said, putting the heels on, “No reason to make me dress like a….weird pin up waitress.”
“It’s a part of your mission,” she reminded you, “What, you can kill a target with a wine glass but a pin up costume is where you draw the line?”
You clicked your tongue, “Anyone can kill someone with a wine glass. It’s not that hard.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Babe it’s not rocket science, you just break the bowl part, then use the stem to stab them in the—“ you got distracted when you opened the kitchen cabinet, “I’m sorry, why do I have so many kitchen supplies?”
She held her breath in excitement, “Do you like them?”
“I don’t know what to do with most of them.”
“Cover Y/N likes cooking!”
“And the real Y/N can’t stand her,” you deadpanned, making her stifle a laugh.
“So he hasn’t texted you yet?”
“Barnes?” you asked, “Not yet. Why?”
“Well, I took the liberty of taking a look at his messages the other day.”
“Oh God, don’t tell me,” you said, “He’s seeing someone else?”
“No no, not at all,” she said, “He’s totally single, and probably ready to mingle. With you, that is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He and Wilson were talking about you the other day. Well, more like Wilson was telling him to get his shit together and ask you out.”
“I don’t think he’s the type to ask someone out via text,” you said, “I think he will come to the shop one of these days.”
“Why?”
“He looked sort of….” You searched for the word in your mind, “Uh-clueless?”
“Clueless?”
“Yeah, you know how assassins usually flirt,” you ignored her noise of disagreement, “He wasn’t like that.”
“You really need to focus on the personal details of his file.”
You scowled, “What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, “I know his favorite weapons, what knives he—”
“Personal file,” she repeated, “You know there’s more to people than their weapons of choice right?”
“I might have to engage in combat if I’m ever compromised, and do you know how many people walked away alive after engaging in combat with the Winter Soldier in all these decades?” you asked, “Three. Three people; Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and they are legends. I might be good, but I’m not that good.”
“Just memorizing his arsenal can’t help you in this mission,” she said, “Did you know that he hasn’t exactly dated since becoming the Winter Soldier? His ex Connie ended up having 3 kids and a long career at the post office—“
“What am I supposed to do Chloe, stalk grandma’s Instagram?”
“No, she passed away 5 years ago.”
“Of course she did,” you mumbled, “Listen, I don’t have time for this. I’m already knee deep in my own cover, I can’t get into Barnes’s past when it’ll give me no advantage in the mission.”
“Y/N-“
“Trust me,” you cut her off, looking in the mirror to fix your uniform, “I have everything under control.”
                                              ***
You had maybe like one thing under control and that was the milkshake you were currently pouring into a mason jar. After a crash course in different recipes yesterday, you barely needed any help from your coworkers and seeing that the shop wasn’t very crowded, you didn’t have to rush.
And now you knew how to make three things; pasta, eggs and milkshakes.
If Keith were here, he would’ve said those were 3 main food groups.
“Tara, we’re running low on maraschino cherries,” you said as you shook the can and your new coworker turned to you.
“Oh that’s okay, there’s another jar are under the counter.”
You put the cherry over the whipped cream, and handed the jar to her. “There you go.”
“Another week of working here and you will come up with your own recipes,” she said, “Tell me the truth, are you like a spy sent by a rival company?”
You stared at her, then forced a laugh.
“I wish,” you said, “Maybe I’d be paid more.”
“Good point,” she said and walked to give the milkshake to the customer while you put the empty jar aside, then went under the counter to search for a new jar.
“Strawberries….” You read the labels out loud as you heard the wind bells chime by the door, “Figs, berries—cherries!”
You reached out to grab the jar and stood up but as soon as you did, you caught the sight of the figure by the door and held your breath, the jar slipping from your grip before you caught it mid-air.
“Bucky.” You breathed out, before you remembered to plaster a smile on your face.
Naïve, soft hearted civilian.
He stole a look around as if he expected someone to attack him at any seconds in a milkshake shop before he stepped closer to the counter you were standing behind.
“Hi.”
“Hi-hi there!” you said, putting the jar down, “You came!”
“You sound surprised,” he smiled and you shrugged your shoulders, shooting him a mischievous look,
“Better late than never, I suppose.”
He hissed in a breath, “Ouch, was it that late?”
“Just a little,” you said “So what can I get you?”
He looked up at the board over the wall, “What are my options?”
“Well, we have Unicorn Cotton Candy, Pumpkin Spice Latte, Candy Cane Passion, Lavender Macaron—“ you stopped talking when you saw the clueless look on his face and cleared your throat, “Or hey, maybe chocolate? We have chocolate milkshake.”
“Chocolate sounds good.”
“Coming right up.” You took a mason jar from the shelf to get to it and he grabbed his wallet, making you raise your brows.
“Don’t even think about it.”
“Oh come on—”
“I’m going to make you an overly complicated milkshake if you try to pay for this,” you warned him, shaking the can before putting whipped cream on top of the milkshake, “It’s on the house, I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” he said quickly, making you point at him with the straw.
“Either way, I’m warning you. I’m armed and dangerous.”
“Consider me intimidated,” he said with a grin as he put the cash into the tip jar and you narrowed your eyes.
“Bucky.”
“Well technically, tip doesn’t count.”
“I wonder where I heard that before,” you muttered under your breath while he walked to pull himself a seat.
“Hm?”
“Nothing,” you said, reminding yourself that your cover probably wouldn’t make dirty jokes and went to place the milkshake in front of him.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” You waved a dismissive hand and rested your elbows on the counter, leaning in slightly.
He was gentleman enough to not check out your cleavage, instead kept his gaze on your face, making you suppress a smile.
“You were right,” Bucky said, his eyes darting around the café after a couple of seconds, “About how this place looked. It is creepily accurate.”
“Really?”
“I mean we didn’t have a neon flowers corner, but…” he trailed off, “Yeah. Yeah, I would say so.”
“Is that why you look like you expect someone to jump out of shadows and attack you?” you asked and his head shot up before he scrunched up his face.
“That obvious?”
“Not that I have lots of experience but so far none of the customers looked this uncomfortable while drinking a milkshake,” you said, “Is it because deep down you actually wanted to try Unicorn Cotton Candy?”
“Oh no, I’m good with classics,” He held up his milkshake, “No I just think that I’m a bit….uh, rusty.”
“Rusty,” you repeated, “On what?”
“On this.”
You batted your lashes, looking up at him and you could almost feel him being lured in.
“I’m sorry, I don’t follow,” you said softly after a beat and he gulped, taking a deep breath.
“It’s just that you’re—“ he cleared his throat, “You’re very beautiful and it’s been decades since I last asked someone out for a date.”
Winter Soldier, credited with over 100 assassinations, you reminded yourself Don’t lower your guard, it’s just a cover.
Don’t believe in your own cover.
You bit down a smile, tilting your head.
“Well, I didn’t think you were rusty,” you said and he raised his brows.
“You didn’t?”
“Not at all,” you said, “For the record, I’m definitely going to say yes.”
“Are you?”
“Absolutely,” you grinned, “Once you actually ask me, that is. With words, not an implication.”
His smile was almost playful, “With words, huh?”
“I’m old fashioned like that,” you taunted him, “Let’s see how we can make it less awkward for you though. Would you feel more comfortable to ask me out if you knew some weird stuff about me?”  
“You know, that would help a lot actually.”
You tapped your fingernails on the counter, looking up at the ceiling, pretending to be in deep thought. Your superiors had always said the best cover stories were somehow based on real life without revealing your identity, so you figured telling him random things about you wouldn’t hurt or put the mission in danger.
“Well, I really like grapes but I don’t like the skin, so I end up peeling every grape I eat, one by one,” you counted with your fingers, “I watched a documentary once and now I can’t swim in any lakes because I keep thinking I’ll get attacked by that weird flesh eating bacteria. When I was sixteen, I was the president of the chess club but I had a boyfriend who didn’t believe in the moon landing—”
“I heard about the moon landing!” he said quickly, “I didn’t get around to watch it yet though.”
“Oh my God, you should.”
“What else?”
“I’m scared of peacocks,” you confessed, “I know everyone says they’re beautiful but they look like they’re waiting for the right time to attack you.”
He looked like he was fighting with himself not to laugh and he pressed his metal fist on his lips, his whole attention on you.
“You can’t laugh!” you exclaimed and he shook his head, trying to look as serious as possible.
“I’m not!” he managed to hide his chuckle with a cough, “Keep going, this is very helpful.”
You heaved a sigh. “Well, do you want to hear the most embarrassing one?”
“Absolutely.”
“I normally keep my phone on mute 24/7 but since last week it’s been on full volume because I was terrified I’d miss something important.”
The amused light in his eyes got softer and he lowered his hand, a smile warming his face.
Hook, line…
“I was um— I was hoping for you to call, you see.” you said, averting your gaze from him to look down for a second, biting on your lip.
His voice was raspy; “Were you?”
You shrugged your shoulders, mumbling an inaudible maybe, and his eyes trailed down to your lips before snapping up to lock your gaze in his.
“What time do you get off work today?”
And sinker.
Time to pull back.
You sucked in a breath through your teeth, “I work at the soup kitchen tonight.”
“Oh –I thought you said it was on Mondays and Wednesdays.”
“I did, I’m just covering for a friend tonight. Family emergency, she says.” you said and pushed your hair behind your ear, shifting your weight, “But my shift is over at 6 tomorrow and I can be ready around 7, I live really close by. If you’re- if you’re free, that is.”
“I am.”
“It’s a date, then.”
“It’s a date,” he repeated and stood up, “See you tomorrow, Y/N.”
“See you tomorrow Bucky.” You smiled as he walked out of the shop and Tara came closer to you.
“Wow, you’ve been here a month and you met someone that hot?” she said and winked at you, “Good job there.”
Right.
Good job.
                                             ***
“So, wait—“ Chloe came closer to sit between you and Keith, holding a huge bowl of popcorn, “He just showed up?”
“Mm hm.”
“And you have a date tomorrow?”
Keith uncapped your beer and handed you the bottle as you rested your feet on the coffee table.
“You’re being careful, aren’t you?” he asked you and you nodded.
“Sure.”
“He doesn’t suspect anything?”
“No, he’s buying this whole naïve soft hearted civilian thing,” you said while Chloe snatched the remote from Keith’s hand, ignoring protests.
“And are you?”
You dragged your eyes from the list of movies on the screen. “I want a horror movie.”
“Well too bad, I want an action movie.”
“We’re watching a rom-com and that’s final!” Chloe pointed at both of you, making you groan.
“Why does this keep happening?” Keith asked to no one in particular and she snapped her fingers.
“It’s my turn and my place so I pick the movie,” she said and shot you a look, “I’m still waiting for an answer, by the way. You don’t….you don’t have feelings for Barnes, right?”
Keith stole a look at you before turning to Chloe,
“I don’t think our dear friend here wants a relationship beautiful,” he told her, “Not after what happened the last time.”
You could feel the goosebumps rising on your arms as a shiver ran down your spine.
“I don’t even know Barnes all that well yet, but I can assure you he’s not the type to—“ you paused, “Do something that cowardly.”
Keith gritted his teeth. “Where is that asshole anyway?”
“Hungary,” Chloe said and you raised your brows.
“Undercover?”
“Yeah. I hope he gets compromised and dies there.”
“Very unlikely,” you murmured, “Anyways, what brought this on? My feelings for Barnes?”
“It’s just that I recently read Vincent Smith’s file,” she said, “You guys remember Vincent?”
“Who?”
“His code name was Marco.”
“Oh, I remember Marco!” Keith said, “That guy took down a whole unit by himself. What happened to him?”
“He is missing.” Chloe said and you pulled your brows together.
“Since when do agents go missing and we don’t know where they are?”
“Since they fall for the target.”
“No way,” Keith chuckled, “Badass spy Marco fell in love? Poor idiot.”
“You’re a terrible person, Keith.”
You sat up straighter, “Wait, did you say he fell for the target?”
“Yeah, I saw the reports from his handler. And now he’s missing, and I don’t want you to run away with Barnes like Marco did with his target.”
You and Keith exchanged glances and you clicked your tongue.
“Chloe babe, he’s not missing.” you said “He’s dead.”
She pulled back slightly, “You don’t know-“
“Yes I do. You don’t fall for the target and compromise the whole mission, not unless you want to end up dead.”
“There’s no report of that,” she insisted and Keith sipped his beer.
“What did his report say, sweetheart?”
“That he was removed from his mission before going missing.”
Keith scoffed, “Rest in peace Marco, you won’t be missed.”
“How do you know—“
“Because that’s the code,” you said, “If the report says he was removed from his mission and went missing, it means he was killed by an agent on our side.”
“We killed our own agent?” she exclaimed and you turned the beer bottle in your hand,
“He stopped being our agent the moment he fell for the target.”
Chloe covered her mouth with her hands, worry etched into her expression, “Y/N, please, please promise me you won’t somehow get too involved in this mission and fall for Barnes and put yourself in danger.”
You let out a small laugh, grabbing a handful of popcorn.
“It’s the Winter Soldier we’re talking about,” you reminded her and chewed on the popcorn, “Trust me, that would never happen.”
“Cross your heart?”
You heaved a sigh and clinked your beer bottle with hers.
“Cross my heart honey,” you assured her, “There’s no way I’d sign my own death warrant by doing something that stupid.” ��
Chapter 6
611 notes · View notes
hxt1b · 3 years
Text
Why Can’t We? - Extended
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Masterlist 
Jaehyun x Reader 
WC: 4.2k 
Genre: Angst (YouTuber Reader x Idol Jaehyun)
Warning: Smut and Swearing 
Original Post: Why Can’t We?
A/N: Hey thank you so much for the love on the original little blurb I wrote. I decided to write an extended version of it for you guys. I hope you like it! If you haven’t read the original I’ve linked it. This is sort of a part two but you could read this without reading the blurb as well hence why I don’t think it fits to call it a part two. Again the grammar may be iffy, I tried my best but things probably still slipped through, regardless I hope you guys like this. Let me know your thoughts. And if anyone wants to send me any requests you can go do that here. I appreciate them and will get to them as soon as I can!
You were slumped over your desk, staring at the work you had in front of you. Your business partner/ best friend was expecting this to be done by the end of the night. The video needed to be out by eight pm. It was already seven, you couldn’t focus though and you knew that if you called her and just explained to her that you fucked up. That you did the one thing you shouldn’t have. That you slept with Jaehyun. She’d help you. But you couldn’t process the fact yourself, you couldn’t process the emotions that were still running through you. You couldn’t believe that you ran. Yet you knew there was no other option. You knew how you felt about him, and Jaehyun never made any move to hide his feelings. Not from you. 
But it wouldn’t work and you knew that, you were so wrapped up in your YouTube channel and all the other opportunities that were coming your way, and he was… well he was Jung Jaehyun. You couldn’t see yourself by his side. Not with how much you’d have to hide it, not with all his fans. They’d find out, your whole life was on the internet, his was too. It wouldn’t work, it would only lead to more heartbreak. Heartbreak at a greater scale one that you could not take. 
You held yourself back as much as you could but last night you couldn’t. Not with the way he looked at you, his eyes showing every emotion he had inside him, not with the way  his mouth felt against yours, the way his hands moved against your skin. You could still feel his breath on your skin. 
A shiver ran down your spine and you were brought back to the computer in front of you. A video of you and your best friend staring back at you. You’d only edited the first four minutes, there was two hours' worth of footage waiting for you. 
Sighing you grabbed your phone, biting your lip you kept yourself from looking at the missed calls you had from him and messages he had sent you. You ignored the burning in you to open them, to reply, to call him back. Instead, you called your friend. 
Her happy voice coming through after the first ring. 
“Hey, dude what’s up?”  
���So listen, I uh I’m gonna need another hour to edit that video it’ll be a little late is that okay?” You said, your voice slightly shaking. 
“Yeah yeah, that's fine.” Her voice fell to a concerned tone, “Is everything okay?” 
“Sorry, yeah I just haven’t been having the best day ya know.” You ran your finger along the side of your desk as you spoke to her. Your mind wandering back to Jaehyun. 
“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked. 
“No there’s nothing to talk about just one of those slow and tiring days.” You lied. She hummed on the other side of the line dropping the topic. 
“Take your time with the video’s its fine if it goes up late we can put it up tomorrow too. Just send out a tweet.” You nodded even though she couldn’t see you. 
“Okay, I’ll do that. Thank you.” 
Hanging up you opened your Twitter app. Quickly typing out the tweet. You scrolled through your feed as your tweet blew up, you weren’t huge on YouTube but you had a decent amount of subscribers that your posting schedule mattered. 
Minutes ticked by as you liked and replied to some tweets that came your way. But scrolling came to be a mistake. A thread about Jaehyun appeared on your feed and you couldn’t help but open it, your heart aching as the thread appreciated Jaehyun dimples. You loved his dimples as much as anyone else. The difference was that you had a front seat to him. You’d poked your finger into those dimples so many times over the span of time that you and Jaehyun had known each other. 
Quickly closing the app you came face to face again with all the notifications regarding him. Blinking as your eyes stung you bit your lip again. There was only one option in your head again, you couldn’t handle the ache that your heart felt right now imagine if it was on a grander scale. You had to stop this now. 
Opening his contact information on your phone you blocked his number, and on Instagram and every other platform he could contact you. Your vision blurred and your headached as you put your phone back down on your desk. 
You couldn’t edit the video today anyway. Getting up from your desk chair you made your way to your bed and buried yourself under your blankets as a few tears slipped down your cheek. 
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Two weeks passed and Jaehyun was a mess, his head was somewhere else constantly, he couldn’t focus on his work. He couldn’t think straight. He just moved from day to day as he became more and more numb. He’d called you, texted you but you hadn’t returned anything. Short of going to your apartment, he’d done everything he could, and that was something he wasn’t going to do. Not after you blocked him. 
He dropped his head into the palms of his hands, the bitter pain of the action hitting him again. You’d actually blocked him. The tears gathered in the corners of his eyes again but he blinked them away. But it all hurt, everything hurt. His head hurt from the anger he felt towards you, yet his heart ached for you. The fight in him tired him out daily. The other boys were noticing, Johnny had tried to talk to him about it but Jaehyun didn’t know what to say. 
She fucked me and left, oh and while she left she ripped my heart out and stomped on it because there is no way she doesn’t know that I love her. 
Jaehyun knew you were cautious, he could sense your fear. But when you slept together that day he’d hoped you’d forget it, that you’d understand that it could work. That with you he’d make it work. He’d hoped that you’d see it. But clearly, you hadn’t. 
You hadn’t even given it a chance. 
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You saw him everywhere all of sudden. You blocked him but you still saw him everywhere. It had been a month since you’d last seen him and noting was easier. You’d lied to yourself then and you would lie to yourself now. Because this was for the best.  
You sighed again as another clip of Jaehyun popped up in your Instagram feed. They’d just had another comeback and it was shaping into your biggest nightmare very fast. Scrolling again you came across a clip from a recent interview. He was smiling and laughing with Jungwoo. His dimples showing up as he threw his head back and laughed at something Jungwoo had said to him. Another sigh slipped out your lips as you scrolled again. 
“Oh, my fuck. I swear Y/N if you fucking sigh again I’ll knock you out into next week.” Your best friend was staring at you from where she stood setting up the camera for today's shoot. 
“What is even wrong with you. For the past month, you’ve been sad and angry and you constantly don’t want to talk about it and I respected that but today I’ve had enough.” Her hands had moved to her hips as she glared down at you. 
Looking away from her you ran your tongue over your drying lips. 
“Talk to me Y/N.” She demanded and before you knew it everything spilled out. From the day you met Jaehyun nine months ago, to all the flirting. You told her about all the dates you’d gone on, you even told her how you insisted on calling them friend dates. Watched movies in his room, kicking Jungwoo out so that it would be just the two of you. Making cakes in his kitchen and doing the most cliche things while making them. You told her all of it, how you slept with him and blocked him because you were scared. Obviously, she knew of Jaehyun she’d even met him on many occasions but she didn’t know the details, because for some reason your brain had told you that if your best friend knew them. That if you spoke of the events that the feelings would become real, that it would all become real. 
“You're scared?” She questioned her face contorting into an expression bordering on disgust. “Scared. You?” She was sitting beside you a scowl embedded into her face. 
“Dude, we don’t scare. We meet shit head-on. Our channel is thriving because we didn’t give in to the fear that we would fail. We got where we are with that practice. We don’t fear shit. Especially not the complicated shit because we always make it work we always try.”  
She didn’t even blink as she spoke, you knew she was right, but it was easier said than done wasn’t it? But she was right you didn’t fear failure with your work and it paid off and you loved it. 
“But it’s so much more complicated now. I don’t think I can fix this.” 
“You have to try. Because I can’t stand this behaviour anymore. Fix it, babe, at least try and if it doesn’t work I’ll be here and we’ll move past it.” You nodded as she spoke. Glad that she was your best friend. 
“So I should go talk to him? Apologize? Tell him what was going on in my head?” 
“Yeah, dude just talk to him.” She looked at you expectantly as she got up and went back to fixing the camera angle. 
“Okay can you set up the mic’s now, you can talk to him after we film. Now help me.” 
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Three hours later you were dragging your feet towards his dorm. You’d planned out what to say and how to say it, after you filmed, in your mirror. Your best friend giving you the thumbs up when you left. 
Looking up as you neared the dorm, the air left your lungs. There he was walking towards you, smiling down at a beautiful girl. He looked happy. You watched them as they walked slowly talking about god knows what, your hands fisted at your side as she laughed at something he said. Your insides turned and you felt like you were gonna puke. But you had no right. You were the one who left, you uncurled your hand as your eyes began to sting. 
What did you think was going to happen? That you’d leave him and he’d sit around waiting for you. That when you walked into his dorm today he’d take you back with open arms like you hadn’t left his bed and then blocked him on everything. You shook your head blinking back the tears.  
You bit your lip and looked away from them. There was no way back into his life and it was clear and it was your fault., but you had to look at him again. Just one last time. Just to see that smile, those dimples one last time in person even if you weren’t the one he was smiling at. 
Turning your head back to him your entire body froze. He was already looking at you. Stopped a few feet back from the entrance of the dorm. The girl digging around her bag for something. Your heart thumped in your chest, your blood flowing fast, the rush of it the only sound in your ears. 
Your eyes stung again, you couldn’t cry. Not here. Turning away from him you walked away quickly. You needed to get away fast, he shouldn’t have seen you. You felt selfish that you’d stood there that long, that you’d tried to steal that last glance. You should have walked away sooner. The tears slipped down your cheeks, leaving cold wet trails in their wake. 
A hand grabbed your wrist, whipping you around. You didn’t look at him, you couldn’t. His hand tightened around your wrist. 
“So you’re gonna run away again?” You didn’t say anything back. What would you even say because the truth was yes. Yes, you were. He scoffed and dropped your hand, taking a step away from you. 
“You're with a girl, you’re happy I don’t want to intrude.” You still weren’t looking at him, keeping your eyes trained on the ground to your left. 
“Look at me.” He said his voice even. You refused. 
“Look at me!” His tone was harsher, slowly you turned your head to him your eyes taking in his face, from far he had looked like the perfect Jaehyun you always saw, but up close you could see the slight darkness under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, the sadness in his eyes as yours finally locked onto them. “Do I look happy to you? That girl is my cousin.” You stayed silent not knowing what to say. 
He let out a humourless laugh, “You don’t have anything to say. Why am I shocked?” He ran his hand through his hair and took a step towards you. 
“Fine then let me talk. Let me tell you about how you fucked me up, how for the past month I’ve been trying to figure out what I did wrong to have you block me, to have you kick me out of your life so easily. What did I do that was so wrong.” His voice broke on the last word as tears began to trail down his face. You were frozen in your spot, your hands shaking at your side. 
Everything that you’d wanted to say, everything you’d thought to say out your head. You watched as he broke down in front of you, your heartbreaking with each tear that ran down his cheek. Slowly you raised your hand taking a step closer to him, you hesitated only for a second before pulling him to you. 
“Nothing. You did nothing wrong. I'm the one that fucked up. I'm the one that ran away, and I’m the one that is so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything Jaehyun.” His arms wrapped around your body pulling you into him, his hands fisting at the back fabric of your coat. 
“I was scared, scared about everything. Scared that it would all only hurt us more in the end. I was trying to make it easier.” This time your voice cracked as you began to cry. His arms tightened around you. 
“I'm so sorry, I’m so stupid. I ran away and I’m so sorry.” It was hard for you to talk through your tears. You tried to calm down by taking in breaths of air. You needed to stop crying. “Please forgive me.” 
You looked up at him, his eyes were red from his tears that had stopped. His eyes softened as they took in your face. He didn’t say anything to you just moved his face to yours, softly pressing his lips against yours. 
“Let me make it up to you.” You said pulling away from his lips. 
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You pulled him into your apartment, taking your coat off and throwing it onto your couch. Prompting him to do the same. You grabbed his hand once his coat was off and pulled him into your bedroom. Your mouth returning to his as soon as you closed the door. The kiss was slow and soft, both of you taking each other in. Pulling away from him you looked at his face, his brown eyes dark you were sure you reflected the same desire back to him that you saw. Pressing your lips back to his you let your hands trail down his chest as his stayed planted on your waist. Weaving your hand under his shirt you raked your cold fingers ups his abs earning a shiver from him. You smiled pulling away from him and pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. 
Your breath hitched as you took in the sight of his bare torso, pressing yourself back to him you pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his jaw, softly sinking your teeth into the same spot before sucking the skin into your mouth. Jaehyun moaned, his hands moving up the back of your t-shirt pulling you against him. You could feel his member hard and pressed against you in-between the both of you. 
Licking the spot to soothe the sting you pressed a kiss to the slowly darkening mark, before moving further down. You kissed down his chest, softly pressing your lips against his hot skin. You marvelled in the way his breathing became shallow as you moved onto your knees. Hooking your fingers into the buttons of his jeans you undid them pulled them down along with his boxers. You pushed him back towards your bed letting him step out the articles of clothing and sit down as you slowly wrapped your hand around his throbbing cock. He was already so hard. You looked up at him as you slowly moved your hand down before licking the tip, wiping away the moisture that had gathered there. 
He groaned at your action, his eyes locked with yours as you made your way down his dick kissing down the underside towards his balls before sticking your tongue out and licking back up to his tip. His cock twitched in your hand as you wrapped your lips around his head. One of his hands twisted into the back of your hair softly grabbing your locks. 
Jaehyun’s head fell back as you moved him further into your mouth, you went slow letting yourself feel each vein with your tongue as you fit him into your mouth. Soft moans spilled from him, flowing towards you as you begin to move him in and out of your mouth, using your hand to massage the rest of him that you couldn’t fit into your mouth. 
A soft growl fell from his lips as he pulled you off him. 
“You can finish that some other time.” He said, yanking you up into his lap you straddled him, as he kissed you roughly his tongue entering your mouth and quickly meeting yours. You moaned into him as his hands moved under your shirt one hand unclasping your bra. 
“Fuck.” he cursed pulling away from you before pulling your shirt off and throwing it across the room. He tangled his hand in the hair at the back of your head again pulling you towards him to press his mouth to yours as you let your bra fall off and tossed it onto the ground. The thumb of his other hand drawing circles at your hip. 
He stood up taking you with him, not breaking the kiss as he did. You groaned as his dick pressed against your clothed core, causing heat to rush through you. He tossed you onto the bed before quickly following you. 
“I’m so fucked.” He said before pressing his lips into your neck, sucking the skin as you had done before on him. You moaned letting your hand fly to the back of his head as he moved down towards your chest, leaving open-mouthed kissed until he got your breast.
He lifted his head from you and stared at you, his eyes almost black with lust. Your breathing was laboured as he smirked at you before returning his mouth to your nipple. He harshly sucked it into his mouth pulling it up between his teeth. You let out a breathy moan, his name flowing out of your mouth, as your chest arched off the bed following his mouth. He laughed before letting your nipple pop out of his mouth and pushed up you back into the mattress before kissing over to your other breast copying his action before moving his kisses down your stomach. 
You writhed under him as his mouth got closer to where you wanted him. Hooking his fingers into your legging he pulled them down leaving you in only your panties. He looked up at you before looking back down at your covered core. Your cheeks reddened as he smiled. 
“Your so wet baby, you soaked through your panties.” His voice was thick with lust, his face showing on full display his desire for you. 
“For you,” you panted back, as he pressed a finger to you over your panties. 
“For me.” He whispered to himself before pulling your underwear down. He hovered his face over your clit, you could feel his breath teasing you. Bucking your hips towards him wanting him to do something already. You snaked your hand down to his hair. 
“Please.” You whined pushing yourself up towards him again. He chuckled, taking your hand from his hair. He held it at your stomach pushing you down back to the bed before he ran his tongue up your slit. Your eyes closed shut as your loud moans filled the room. He repeated the action before taking your clit into his mouth sucking on the swollen nub.  
“Jaehyun.” You whined moving your other hand to his hair only for him to grab it and hold it down next to your other one. You whined trying to move your hips but being unable to as he held you down. You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed him now. 
“Baby please, you can finish that some other time.” You said stealing his words from earlier. “I need you.” He pulled back from you, his mouth covered in you. He let go of your hands letting you loop them around his neck as you pulled him back up to you. Immediately pressing your lips against his in a heated kiss, you tasted yourself on his tongue. 
A deep moan fell from your lips as he slipped his cock between your folds slowly moving so that the tip was hitting your clit. His hand wrapped around your head weaving into the hair at the top as the other one knotted into the sheets next to your head. 
He pressed his forehead against yours closing his eyes as he continued to repeat his action savouring the breathy moans that fell from your open mouth. 
“Please.” You whined when you had as much as you could take, “I need you. Please.”  You begged.  
His breathing mirrored your own, harsh shared breaths as he lined himself up at your entrance, slowly pushing himself in. Your eyes fell shut at the stretch, you clenched around him as he took his time sliding into you taking in the feeling of your tight walls around him. 
“Fuck,” He muttered against your mouth followed by a soft moan as he bottomed out. You both breathed heavily as he stayed still, agonizing seconds passed before he pulled back again before spanning his hips back to you. Your head twisted to the side as he picked up his pace. He bit into the soft skin of your jaw as he moved in and out of you. 
The sound of his skin slapping against yours filled the room along with your moans, overwhelming your mind as he fucked you into a daze. You drowned in your head with every snap of his hips, you could feel him hitting your g-spot with each thrust pushing you closer you climax. 
Sweat dotted his forehead as his thrusts sped up, throwing you off the edge into the depths. Your back arched off the bed, your chest pressing against his as he took your lips up with his swiping his tongue against yours mirroring the action of his hips as he thrust into you harsher chasing after his release. You moaned his name but it sounded far off to your ears as you shook underneath him. Your walls clenching around his cock, finally his dick twitched and he came spilling himself into you. A loud moan leaving him followed by heavy breathing as he looked down at you. He let his head fall into the crook of your neck as you both came down from your highs. 
“I’m so fucked,” He whispered to you. “Don’t run away from me again Y/N. I won’t be able to take it again.” He said and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. 
“I’m not going anywhere Jaehyun.” You said stroking his back with your hand. 
“Good because, Y/N, I really like you.” You turned your head to him, his eyes meeting yours as you did. You could see the emotion in his eyes, you could see the truth behind his words, the real words he’d wanted to say. 
“I really like you too, Jaehyun.” You said, also keeping the grander emotion with you. For now. You had plenty of time to say it to him. To hear it from him, because you weren’t going anywhere, but the three words rattled around your brain, your heart your entire being as you looked at him before pressing your lips against his. 
I love you. 
493 notes · View notes
let-me-luve-you · 3 years
Text
Cancer Battle
Tom Holland x Sister (with the whole Holland clan)
Summary: The reader is diagnosed with cancer, but decides to keep it from her brothers. 
Warnings: angst, cancer treatment, cancer diagnosis, brothers being rude, somewhat of a fluff ending
A/N: I did research on this. I hope I did the correct research. So I apologize if I’m wrong.
MASTERLIST
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This has been the toughest two months of your life. Right when you were due to go over to America with your brothers to visit Tom, you noticed swelling in your neck. So did your mum. She set you up a doctors appointment, and two days later, you found out you had Hodgkin Lymphoma.
After talking with your doctor, you found you were in the early stages. It was still treatable and your chances of beating the cancer were very high. That helped you relax a little, but you were still in shock at hearing the words, “you have cancer.”
You wanted to start treatment right away so you told your brothers to go without you. They weren’t happy with you since you wouldn’t give them the real reason as to why you were staying behind. Every Wednesday morning for the next month, you would go with your mum or dad to the doctors office to do your antibody therapy treatment. You really didn’t want to do chemo or radiation unless it got worse, so you decided this was the next best option.
After four weeks of treatment, all of your brothers came home. Tom was disappointed you didn’t come see him, but he knew you probably had a good reason. He decided to come over to your parents house to hangout with you today. Except today wasn’t a good day. You were sick due to the side effects of the treatment. To those who didn’t know about your treatment, they would just think you had the flu. So when you walked back into your room from the bathroom, you groaned when you saw Tom sitting on the end of your bed.
“Good to see you too, Y/N.” Tom said with an eye roll.
“Hi Tom. Sorry. You might want to leave, I’m sick.” You said trying to keep your distance but you were wanting to lie down so bad.
“Mum told me. Can I get you anything?” He asked sweetly.
“I’m okay for now. Dad went to the store this morning.” You replied and motioned with your finger for him to move. He understood and moved toward your door as you went to lie down. You sighed, content when your body hit the mattress.
“I’m going to go downstairs. Text me if you need anything.” You smiled at him. “Get better soon.”
The next few days, you started feeling better. This is how it was every week. Stuck in bed on Thursday and Friday. Moving around more on Saturday and fully back to your normal self on Sunday. Then you would repeat the process again.
This Wednesday though, you weren’t feeling good. It felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. You had a fever and you could tell you had lost at least twenty pounds since your diagnosis. You got up earlier than normal to talk to your mum. When you walked into the living room, you found all four brothers.
“Hey Y/N. You okay?” Sam asked.
Ignoring his question, you looked around the room. “Where’s mum and dad?”
“Dad has a meeting at ten and mum ran to the store really quick. Said she would be back soon.” Paddy said not looking up from his phone. You nodded and turned to go back to your room to lay down until you had to go to your appointment.
“It’s a good thing you're up though. I have a press tour coming up and we are going to Bali. The three of them are going and I wanted to see if you wanted to come. You didn’t get to go last time so I thought you would enjoy it.” Tom said.
“I would but uh..” You looked around trying to think of an excuse as to why you can’t go. “I’m still getting over this sickness. Wouldn’t be good for me to go.”
“Well good thing it isn’t until next month then.” Harry said with a laugh before he turned serious. “Why are you always bailing on us? You missed the last Bali trip. You skipped last minute to go to America. Now you’re trying to get out of going to Bali again. What’s up with that?”
“I just have a lot going on. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t.” You said.
“Harry has a point though Y/N. It’s like you don’t like us or something. You never go out with us when we are in town either and you won’t let us post photos of you.” Paddy said.
You stood shocked. You didn’t know how to respond, but it didn’t matter since it didn’t seem that your brothers were done.
“Can you tell us if we did something to you so we can fix it?” Tom said trying to be the nice brother like always.
“Come on mate. We didn’t do anything and she knows it. She just hates us.” Harry said with a snarl.
“Must be embarrassed by us. I don’t know why. People love us.” Paddy said. Sam agreed with Paddy and Harry. Tom just didn’t know what to do so he just stayed quiet. He wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, but he did feel rejected by you lately.
“I love you guys and I would never be embarrassed of you. I just have a lot going on.” You said. You were getting worked up and it was making it harder to breathe. You turned and started to leave the room. “Tell mum to come to my room when she gets home.” You started to walk up the stairs and ignored the hateful comments your brothers were whispering about you.
An hour later. Your mum came into the room and saw you laying there asleep. She went to push your hair out of your face and felt how hot you were. She immediately started to panic and tried to wake you up. Thankfully you opened your eyes halfway and saw your mum.
“Mum, somethings not right. I don’t feel good.” You whispered.
“Get up honey. We are going to the doctor.” Nikki said in a rush. She went to help you stand when you fell on the ground. Nikki was worried because you couldn’t hold yourself up. “DOM!” She yelled. “DOM HURRY UP! COME HERE!”
Tom thought he heard his mum call for him and he heard the worry in her voice so he sprinted to where he heard her trying to talk to Y/N. He was shocked when he saw you on the floor.
“Tom I need your help. We have to get her to the hospital now. Help me get her to the car.” Nikki said. Tom stayed staring at your almost lifeless body “TOM!” Nikki snapped to get his attention. Tom immediately went into protective brother mode and ran to you and easily picked you up bridal style and carried you down to Nikki’s car. He laid you in the backseat and then he joined you by putting your head into his lap. Nikki ran to the driver's seat and rushed to the hospital.
“Mum, what’s wrong with her?” He asked.
“I’m not sure.” Nikki answered honestly. If it hadn't been for the swollen glands, Nikki would have thought you were healthy as a horse. Now with the treatments, it always pained her to see her only daughter struggling with the illness. Once they got to the emergency room, Nikki started telling the ER doctor everything. Tom paled when he heard the word cancer. He looked up at his mum to see if what she said was true. When the doctors took you in the back to run test, Nikki finally turned to her oldest and saw him shaking.
“Cancer?” He whispered. If Nikki hadn’t been standing so close, she wouldn’t have heard him. She gently wrapped an arm around Tom and guided him to sit in a chair. Tom stayed latched to his mum as he cried for his little sister. “Wha- how- when? When did she find out?” Tom asked many minutes later once he stopped crying.
“Before the America trip.” Nikki said. “She’s been doing treatments once a week since. The treatments make her sick. That’s why you found her like she was last Thursday.”
“I had no idea.” Tom said more to himself. “That’s why she didn’t want to go to Bali.”
“Yeah. She wants to stay home until the cancer’s gone. She has a high survival rate, Tom. She didn’t want any of you to worry. That’s why she didn’t tell you.”
As Tom went to say something a doctor interrupted. “Mrs. Holland, Y/N is in a room now. You can go sit with her while we wait for the results. Since Dr. Hammon is the one treating her, she will be here to overlook her during her stay.” Nikki nodded and grabbed Tom’s hand. They followed the doctor to Y/n's room where she looked so tiny on her bed. She had an IV in and was sleeping soundly.
“We gave her some medicine to bring her fever down. She should wake up soon.”
“Thank you doctor.” Nikki said as he walked away. She turned to Tom, “I’m going to go call your father. Sit with her please.”
“Of course.” Tom said before grabbing your hand and sitting in the chair next to your bed. Tom grabbed his phone with his other hand. He quickly added Harry, Sam, and Paddy to a group text.
T: Hospital. Room 135. Waiting on the results for Y/N. We need to talk.
H: WTF?! Is she okay? Is that where you went. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.
T: Yeah. Had to help mum. Just hurry. She should have everyone here for her.
S: Called into work and got the day off. Will be there soon.
P: Harry and I are on our way too. Be there shortly.
By the time all the brothers arrived, Dom was walking into the room as well. Nikki had already spoken with Dr. Hammon and got the news of why Y/N reacted that way. Nikki decided now was the time to tell everyone the severity of it.
“Okay guys. Y/N wanted to keep this a secret, but I no longer can. She has Hodgkin Lymphoma. Her and I noticed swelling in her neck before she was going to the states so I took her to the doctor. She was diagnosed a couple days later. That’s why she didn’t go with you boys on the trip. She’s been undergoing treatment every week to help kill the cancer.” Nikki said looking at all of her sons. “I just talked with the doctor. The bad news is she doesn’t think the antibody therapy is working. She thinks it would be best to try chemotherapy next so the cancer doesn’t spread. The good news is, the cancer hasn’t spread.”
Dom visibly relaxed at hearing that news. He was thankful you were as okay as you could be. “Did she say why she reacted this way. Why did she almost pass out?” Dom asked.
“She said her body was working in overdrive to kill the cancer cells.  Her fever got too high. Now that her fever is down, she’ll be back to her old self.”
“Old self?” Tom scoffed. “Mum she’s been sick more times than she’s been feeling okay. There’s no old self in that.”
“This is her new normal for a bit. Until she defeats the cancer, this is her old self.” Nikki responded.
You groaned and tried to open your eyes. Nikki and Dom rushed to one side as Tom rushed to your other. Tom ran his hand over your head. You turned and slowly opened your eyes and met Tom’s brown ones.
“What happened? Where am I?” You asked, confused.
“Your fever got too high. Me and mum rushed you here. You’re okay now.” Tom said. You turned to see your mum next to you with your dad.
“They know sweety.” She said. You closed your eyes for a second and turned to look at Tom again.
“I’m sorry for keeping this from you.” You said.
“Don’t be. I’m just glad you’re okay now. And I’ll be here every step of the way to help you fight.” He kissed your forehead. The rest of your brothers came up to you.
“I’m sorry Y/N/N for saying you hated us.” Harry said.
“I’m sorry too.” Sam said.
“I’m sorry as well.” Paddy said.
“It’s okay you guys. I’m sorry for not telling you. Just didn’t want you to worry. You guys have a lot going on in your life. Didn’t need to add this to the list of things you were stressing over.”
“We will always worry about you, healthy or not. You’re my baby sister. I never want you to think you have to go through something like this alone.” Tom said.
“I’ll sit with you at treatments.” Harry said.
“I’ll hangout with you when you don’t feel well at home.” Paddy said.
“I’ll make all of your favorites and I’ll make you soup.” Sam said.
You smiled at your brothers and thanked them. You were glad you had such an amazing support group to back you in this fight.
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calif0rnia-lovers · 3 years
Text
Lover of Mine #5.5 | Angel Reyes.
Series Masterlist | join my gc for updates since tags are acting weird
title: For Better, or For Worse.
rating: 💙 💔
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As long as you're feeling the same, I'll follow you into the flames
sum: angel fears once it's out, his secret will be the final push you need to leave. instead of confessing, he sticks out the couple's retreat to give himself a few more days with you. he makes himself a promise: he'll tell you once you two return to santo padre. but a ghost from his past pushes angel's agenda forward a few days.
words: the standard for this series....long af (that's why I break it into sections so you know where to come back to when you take a break...but seriously, please take breaks on these long ass chapters)
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Ez Reyes is a smart man. There is no denying it. However, Ez never thought he would struggle to tie a tie.
He is currently outside of his father’s truck. Kneeling before his nephew, Ez concentrates as he works through the instructions he Youtube’d earlier. A usually chatty Jeyson has been silent. He slept the entire hour's drive to school. When his Uncle woke him, Jeyson shot Ez a glare that reminded him of you.
Jeyson was fine the entire weekend that you were gone, but the moment he woke up this Monday to find you had not returned his entire mood changed. He has fought Ez tooth and nail the entire morning.
Ez glances up from the tie to Jeyson. “Hey, you sure you wanna go to school today?”
“I have to go to school” Jeyson mumbles.
“Yeah, but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to take a break.” Ez offers Jeyson a smile. “If you’re not having a good day, it’s okay to stay home.”
“I don’t want to stay home with you.”
“That’s okay,” Ez chuckles. “What about Izzy?”
“I don’t want to stay home with her either.” Jeyson releases a huff before glancing down at his now fixed tie. He bends down to pick up his backpack. Slipping it onto his shoulder, Jeyson steps around his Uncle. “I want my mom to come home.”
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Tommy’s gaze remains on the sleeve of his blue Stockton uniform. His fingers tug at the loose string resting against his wrist. He ignores the smirk on his older brother’s face. The passing of time has muddled the bruises on Tommy’s skin. The mixture of black and yellow stood out on the parts of him he's allowed to remain visible. No matter how he sits, the pain in his ribs is inescapable. Sleep has fallen to the way-side, the inability to get comfortable meaning he only gets it once he’s passed out from exhaustion.
“You didn’t tell me she was hot. Now I know why you were sticking up for her the other day--”
“I didn’t notice. I’m more worried about her getting me out of here.”
“Uh-huh.” Leo’s eyes roll as he watches his brother’s eyes pass over the crowded visiting center. “I’m just saying—”
“What’d you find?” Tommy’s fingers massage his temple, the irritation in his voice amplified by his brother’s antics. Lack of sleep and around-the-clock oversight and antics from Rogers has cut his fuse short. “If you didn’t find anything, you could've saved yourself a trip up here—and I could be asleep.”
“She’s not married—unless she has a habit of leaving her rings at home.”
“What? On the table?”
Leo shakes his head. “No. A jewelry box in the bedroom.”
“What about the kid?” “He has to be about eight, or nine? Name’s Jeyson. You were right, he’s definitely Angel’s. Wish I could show you the picture. He couldn’t deny that kid if he tried.”
“Yeah.” Tommy nods impatiently, motioning for him to continue. “What else?”
“Kid goes to some boujee ass prep school up north. Gilman something? Embroidered blazers, ties, the whole nine. His mom’s paying a pretty penny too, apparently, it's the best in the state. He’s into the typical shit kids are into. Star Wars, Spider-Man. Plays the piano, apparently, he’s actually really fucking good. Awards and all. His mom’s got him pretty busy. A lot of after-school activities. Looks like she and Angel rotate transportation...She must not be around right now tho.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Apart from the fact you’re still not transported to a new unit?” Leo scoffs. “The kid was with someone else when I was scouting. A girl and a kid with a prospect patch.”
“Mayans?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe his little brother...last I heard he was hemmed up here. Haven’t seen him around tho.”
“Maybe he got out?”
Tommy dismisses Leo’s suggestion. “Most cop killers don’t walk free. What else?”
“He’s not doing a good job of keeping his nephew safe. I talked to the kid.”
Tommy’s eyes open. “You did what?”
“He walked right off with me.” Leo quietly explains. He mistakes his brother’s silence as a cue to move forward with his story. “His uncle was so into his date he didn’t even notice the kid walk off with me--”
The sight of Tommy’s hand running down his face tapers the rest of Leo’s statement.
His voice comes out low, through his clenched teeth. “I didn’t tell you to touch the kid.”
“I didn’t touch the kid,” Leo’s eyes rolled. “I got him a funnel cake—” “I don’t give a fuck—” the slamming of Tommy’s fist against the table brings the room to a brief silence. The eyes that he has attracted linger on Tommy as his glare nearly burns a hole through his brother. Rogers shrugs off the wall nearby. He takes a step of warning in Tommy’s direction. “—what you did, Leo—it was stupid.”
“How else was I supposed to get him to talk to me?”
Tommy’s response comes out slowly. Each passing word increases his irritation.
“You didn’t need him to talk to you because I didn’t ask you to talk to him. Buying him a funnel cake, or whatever the fuck your grand plan was allowed the kid to see your face. He can open up his mouth and ID you—”
“ID me,” Leo snorts, dismissing Tommy’s claim. “Relax, Tommy. He’s not a state witness, he’s a kid—“
“Yeah, and according to you and his 'boujee ass prep school,' he’s a smart ass fucking kid, Leo.” Tommy lets out a long sigh. “The last thing I need is the kid opening his mouth to his mom about some random guy approaching him.”
“Don’t worry, I played it cool. Told him I was a friend of his dad. Maybe, if you had told me exactly why I went there I wouldn’t—”
It was something Tommy had explained to his brother during their last visit. The less you know, the better.
“I already told you,” Tommy rubs at his temple, the sudden throbbing causing his jaw to clench. “I needed to double-check something.”
“And that’s what I did.” Leo sighs. “What I want to know is, why the fuck you called me all the way down here to check pictures in some house.”
Tommy studies his brother for a moment. He shifts forward, his elbows settling against the table.
“You wanna know why I didn’t tell you? You don’t think, Leo. I ask you to do one thing—one fucking thing—and you almost fuck it up. If I wanted you to think I wouldn’t have told you exactly what to do.” Leo’s jaw tightens as his brother continues. “You trying to think leads to you doing dumb shit like kidnapping her fucking son—”
“I didn’t kidnap him,” Leo mumbles.
Tommy’s fingers massage his clenched fist. “You’re lucky I can’t reach across this fucking table right now.”
Leo’s gaze drops from his brothers. The look that lies in Tommy’s eyes is one he’s seen before—at least not directed at him. It’s the look that accompanied the acts that earned Tommy his nickname. Leo’s gaze nervously shifts towards Rogers who is still watching Tommy from his post.
“What do you want with her? Thinking she’s gonna give you a shot? Criminal is her type, and she’s definitely yours.”
“It’s not her I need. It’s Angel.” Tommy starts, his jaw tightening as his gaze remains on Leo. “And if you want Angel, you need her.”
“If she’s as good as you say, what do you need Angel for? You’ve been talking about her like she might actually get you off.”
Leo steals a brave glance at his brother. He watches as Tommy looks up from his tattooed knuckles.
“No matter how hard you pray, people like me and you don't come out on the right side of the law. No matter how fucking good she is, she can't get me out of this. This shit is stacked too high against me." Tommy’s gaze shifts to the clock overhead. “Did you find the necklace?”
Leo nods as Tommy stands.
“Good, go ahead and do what I asked.” Tommy pauses, his voice lowering as his gaze meets his brothers. “Nothing else, Leonardo. The time I'm looking at right now, I’ll fucking kill you right here if you pull some shit like that again.”
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At some point Monday night, Angel abandoned his spot on the sofa to crawl into bed with you. His intention may have been to take one side of the bed, but to no surprise, he has failed.
You came to this revelation at two o’clock in the morning when you tried to roll over but found it to be impossible. You have been stuck on your back ever since. You attempted to fall back asleep but have not been able to.
Cheek pressed against your chest, arm wrapped around your waist, Angel hasn’t moved. He doesn’t move when your alarm goes off at 7:30 or when the knock comes on the door at 8:00.
The sleep Angel lost, the past two days over Tommy seems to have piled onto him. He only wakes when your fingers brush through his hair, the warmth of your touch lingering against his cheek.
“You have to get up and eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.” Angel mumbles. The sunlight peeking through the curtains prompts him to burrow his face against your neck. “I’m tired.”
“Yeah, I can tell,” you smile softly. “But, I’m hungry, and I can’t get our food with you laying on top of me.”
Your words are met with a huff before Angel rolls over. Resting on his back, he watches the fan spin as you get out of bed.
His first instinct is to check his phone. He pushes himself up, his body protesting with the sudden movement, once he realizes his cellphone is not where he left it.
“Where’s my phone?”
His palms pressed against his eyes as he pushes away the enticing thought of laying back down for a few more hours of sleep.
“It kept going off,” you look up from the plate in your hand. “Ezekiel kept texting you.”
“What did he want?”
Angel watches you shrug. “I don’t know. I put it in the drawer. I tried to wake you up, but you were literally dead.”
Angel releases a sigh of relief before reaching over to open the bedside drawer. Facedown, his phone has several notifications. He ignores the rest, focusing on those from his younger brother.
2:30 a.m. 📲 : You still up?
2:35 a.m. 📲 : Talked to Bishop. Found out what the shipment was
3:00 a.m. 📲 : Pretty sure I found something else
3:02 a.m. 📲 : Don’t know if this is the guy. If it is we might have a problem
3:03 a.m. 📲: Found this in the paper
3:04 a.m. 📲 : Check it out and call me back.
The last incoming message was a photo, the front page of the Daily Imperial Gazette. Angel scans the article as you climb back into bed. A few phrases stick as he reads, “Man charged in Santo Padre murder…” “Thomas Flores, 30, has been charged…” “...obtained representation from Lorente & Rothman…” “...Friday, Flores was denied bond…”
“I have to tell you something.”
Angel instinctively hits the power button on his phone. Glancing up, he realizes you haven’t even bothered to look up at him. Your focus is on the half-eaten croissant in your hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” you explain as you take another bite of your croissant. “The case Samuel gave me—the one Aiden is helping me with—it’s for this guy. His name’s Tommy Flores. He has some pretty...intense charges, so you’re probably going to hear people talking about it soon. We had court Friday, and the judge...he’s pretty tough. He denied any form of a bond, he didn’t even bother trying to set a ridiculously high one.”
You glance up to find Angel’s eyes on you. His unreadable expression causes your brow to furrow. You mistake the look in his eyes as uncertainty.
“I honestly don’t think it’s anything you have to worry about.” Offering him a smile, you lightly roll your eyes. “But I’m going to have to start working late when we get back, so I need to know that what happened Friday won’t happen again.”
You wait for Angel’s response, but it doesn’t come.
“If I take over morning drop-offs, can I count on you to pick Jeyson up after school?” You continue. “Or, do I have to ask Isabela to do it...Angel?”
Angel blinks as your fingers snap.
“Are you listening to me?” The irritation he finds as his focus shifts to you causes him to nod.
Angel nods a second time as he takes in the look of skepticism on your face.
“Yeah, I’m listening.”
“So, you’re good with picking Jeyson up from school?” You clarify. “Every day of the week?”
Angel unlocks his phone, nodding for the third time. “Yeah. I’ll pick him up.”
“And if you can’t,” you reach forward. You catch Angel's chin forcing him to look at you. “You call and let me know the moment you find out?”
Nodding, Angel drops his eyes the second your gaze meets his. “I gotta call Ez.”
Despite his admission, your hand doesn’t drop preventing him from getting up. For a moment, Angel thinks you’ll let it go. For once, you will ignore the feeling you get each time you notice a change in him. It is something no one else in his life can seem to do. It is something you’ve been able to do your entire life. It is something Angel wishes you couldn’t do.
“What’s wrong?”
Angel shakes his head as you release him. He keeps his eyes trained on the plate in your lap avoiding your gaze as your touch brushes through his hair. It's a habit. Angel knows the moment he meets your gaze he’ll tell you whatever is on his mind. It’s impossible not to do when he knows you can read him best that way. He picks up what’s left of your croissant and takes a bite.
You sit your plate aside before closing the distance between the two of you. Angel’s eyes lift to meet yours as you settle on his lap. The warmth of your palms finds his cheeks as you take his face in your hands.
“I’ve known you nearly my entire life, Angel. I know you don’t believe it, but I can tell when you’re lying to me. Just like I can tell when you’re upset and anxious. And when you’re going to annoy me.” The soft smile on your lips brings a weak one to his. “There’s no point in trying to act like I don’t. What’s wrong?”
“You were right about Friday night. I wasn’t with Samuel. I wasn’t even in Santo Padre.” Angel lets out a deep breath. His voice low as your fingers toys with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Ez and I were in Mexico. I left when you were in court. I knew we weren’t going to make it back in time, but I didn’t want to have to tell you because I knew you’d be pissed.”
“What happened to your hand?”
He watches you lift it. Your finger traces the bandage.
“Cut it on a shovel.”
Your gaze lifts to find his focus on the path your finger traces.
“...okay.”
Angel shook his head. “It’s not okay—I fucked up. Forreal this time—“
"What? On Friday?” You let out a deep breath. “Angel, I know I freaked out. Missing the recital—yeah, it was fucked up—but it is not the worse thing you’ve done.”
“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve that.” Your eyes watch him release a tired laugh, his gaze down. "You defend me, even when you shouldn’t.”
It is true. Defending Angel has been second nature your entire life. Often you do it in response to others. But also in response to him. When you were teenagers, you learned a valuable lesson about him. Angel is his worst critic. He’ll talk himself down harsher than anyone, even those who hate him.
“It’s because I love you.” Your arms wrap around his neck pulling him into a hug. “Just because we fight and say stupid things to each other doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, Angel. If I haven’t been able to stop doing that our entire time together, I don’t know why you think a fight in a therapy session is going to be the final straw. Me not talking to you is just the easiest way for me not to say something I’ll regret later.”
Angel’s grip tightens around you as your lips press against his skin.
“At this point, there isn’t anything you can do or say that’s going to make me stop loving you.” The reassurance in your voice lifts his gaze to yours. “Okay?”
Your lips press against his in a soft kiss. You leave a second against his forehead before getting up.
“I have to take a shower,” you announce as Angel’s arm wraps around your waist guiding your body back towards his. Your fingers drift into his hair as his head rests against you. “There’s more food you should eat before we go out.”
The two of you stay that way for nearly a minute. Angel releases you as the sound of your ringing phone fills the air.
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Silence from Angel Reyes is a bad sign. Such a rarity, it wrings your stomach into knots. It has been hours since you woke to find him sleeping against you. Angel has said just as little as he did in the morning. When you stepped out of the shower, you found him fully dressed and brushing his teeth.
You glance over your shoulder to find he’s standing where you last left him. Arms crossed over his chest Angel rests against the wall as far from the line as possible. With his sunglasses on, you can’t tell where he’s looking. The corner of his lips turns up into a small smile as you come to a stop before him.
“Who knew smoothies took forever to make,” he sighs as your arms wrap around his waist.
Resting your cheek against Angel's chest, you tighten your grip. You listen to the steady rhythm of his heart as his lips press against your hair.
“I want you to come somewhere with me tonight.”
“No,” Angel chuckles. You tip your head back, pouting as his gaze drops to yours.
He shakes his head as your weight shifts to your toes.
“Please,” you ask, your lips pressing a kiss against his.
“Last time I did that, you ripped me to shreds,” he laughs. “I haven’t even had time to recover from that.”
“It’ll be fun,” you promise. The second kiss you leave morphs Angel's smile into a grin. You leave a third, this one against his cheek. “I promise.”
Angel releases a long breath as you take a step back, a grin on your face.
“It better be,” he shakes his head as you quickly press a final kiss against his lips before turning to retrieve your order.
As you reach the corner, your cell phone vibrates in your back pocket. You don’t bother checking who it is. Aiden has called you three times. You had sent him a text message in response to his first three calls. Telling him to ask Isabela for help on whatever he needed.
The moment the call goes to voicemail, the vibration picks back up.
You force yourself to take a breath as Angel leads you outside.
“Hi, Aiden--”
“I know this week is supposed to be for you and Angel,” Aiden's voice comes out in a rushed whisper. “But, I need your help.”
“Where are you?” You ask as you take a sip of your smoothie. “And, why are you whispering?”
“I’m at the courthouse,” Aiden sighs. “I’ve been here all morning, and they’re giving me the run-around.”
“About what?”
“The Warden called the office this morning. You weren’t there, so I answered your desk phone. He didn’t give me many details, just that Flores was detained last night. They couldn't get him to say anything—to no surprise—but one of the guards said he was involved in an altercation with another inmate. Apparently, Tommy messed him up pretty bad—like...transported to the local hospital bad.”
Angel glances over at you as you slip out of his grip. You take a seat at the table he stops alongside.
In the short time, you’ve worked with Aiden, you’ve learned one thing. The moment he thinks there is something to panic about, Aiden will panic. So, if you sound stressed it kicks off his panicking.
Resting your face in your hand, you speak quietly. “So, he wasn't transferred on Friday as I'd requested? If he was he couldn't have gotten in a fight.”
“I know. Apparently this isn't the first one he's been in. The Warden said he looks like he’s been roughed up in the past few days. I’ve been here since first thing this morning—”
“Let me guess.” You rest back against your seat. “They told you there’s nothing they can do, with the prison being at full capacity they don’t have a cell for him?”
A brief silence falls over the receiver. Aiden’s brow furrows.
“Yeah—how'd you know?”
“That’s because it’s bullshit,” you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Judge Miller was hoping you’d leave and not press the issue.”
“Shit,” Aiden mumbles. “Shit, should I call Samuel—”
“God no. Aiden, I’ll tell you what to do, and say, just relax.”
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“I lied to you.”
Angel glances down at you as your lips press against his knuckles. “About what?”
“About wanting to wait to get married.”
Your admission leaves Angel quiet. He opens his mouth to speak, but it closes as you place a second kiss against his skin.
You tilt your head back to find his eyes focused on the water.
“I was talking to Izzy the other day—not about getting married—but about you and...I mean...we’re trying to have another kid.” You backtrack as his gaze drifts to you. “That’s not the only reason, but I don’t want to spend another seven years playing house with you, Angel. I have tried so hard to find reasons why we should just leave each other in the past, but it’s impossible. I can’t help thinking that we’ve wasted so much time trying to fight it we should just get married.”
If he is excited by your words, Angel doesn’t show it. If he’s anxious by your words Angel doesn’t show it. The only response he gives is the furrowing of his brow as his pace slows before coming to a complete stop.
“I thought you’d be...a little happier,” you admit. The butterflies in your stomach seem to double in size as Angel's gaze focuses on your interlaced fingers.
“Right now?” Angel gently squeezes your hand, the smile slowly spreading across his lips causing you to shake your head. “A fancy place like this I’m pretty sure we could find someone to do it tonight.”
“Preferably with your son there,” you giggle as his lips press against your forehead.
“Just so you know,” Angel mumbles as he leaves a kiss against your lips. “You can’t take it back.”
“It’d be pointless,” you admit, your eyes focused on the incoming tide. “Regardless of what I say, you’re impossible to escape.”
“Like you said, it must be fate,” he teases as you step back towards the security of the shore.
“I didn’t say fate. I said I was tired of trying to outrun you.”
Angel’s eyes roll. “Okay.”
Pushing against his chest, you cause him to stumble backward making it impossible for him to avoid the incoming tide.
“Fuck—”
Angel’s scream is drowned out by the sound of your laughter. He tries to escape the chilled water but realizes it’s pointless as a second wave rolls through.
“Is it cold?” You ask the grin on your face prompting him to take a step in your direction. “Because it looked like it was cold.” The look on his face causes your laughter to return.
“You’re about to find out how cold it is.” The promise in his voice causes you to take a step back.
You catch sight of Angel’s smile before you take off running.
Between the giggles that leave you breathless and the sand between your feet, you don’t get very far before Angel’s arms wrap around you.
“I’m sorry, okay. Let me go, please?” Angel’s grip loosens as you turn to face him. “I really am sorry.”
A gasp escapes your lips as your feet leave the ground. Blood rushes to your head as Angel tosses you over your shoulder. It only takes a second for you to realize he’s turned and is carrying you back towards the water.
“Angel Ignacio Reyes put me down now!”
“Be careful what you wish for, baby girl,” Angel chuckles as he carries you into the water.
It doesn’t matter that you’re both fully clothed Angel carries you out until the water is waist-deep. He comes to a stop. Shifting you in his arms, he grins as your arms instantly wrap around his neck.
“You think this is far enough?” He asks as you take in your surroundings.
“I hate you,” you giggle as you meet his playful gaze.
“I could go further out,” he takes a step forward.
“Just do it.”
Judging by the mischievous grin on his lips, you expect him to drop you in. For whatever reason, Angel spares you a dunking. Instead, he carefully lowers you to your feet.
The chill of the water causes your grip to tighten around him. He waits until you’re standing to let go of you.
You can’t suppress the smile that finds your lips as he kisses you.
“You’re lucky you buttered me up beforehand,” he chuckles as you step around him.
He follows you back to shore watching as you glance down the beach, back towards the lights of the hotel. Your pace slows as you start in the direction of the hotel.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Despite the nod of reassurance, you force yourself to take another breath. You shake your head slightly, a tiny smile finding your lips. It takes a third breath for the feeling to pass. “I just—got lightheaded for a second.”
“Uh-huh. Funny how you get ‘lightheaded’ the second I take my shirt off. I don’t know why you still try and play this game at this point.”
Your eyes open in time to allow you the moment you need to react. Catching the shirt tossed your way, you watch Angel unzip his jeans.
"Angel put your shirt back on–I’m serious.” The warning in your voice stretches the smile on Angel’s lips. Your eyes leave him, long enough to drift back to the glow of the hotel’s lanterns still visible. The laughter and music cause you to step in his direction. “You are not getting naked on the beach! Are you trying to get us kicked out of here—”
“I wasn’t planning on going in naked,” Angel laughs. It is an admission of truth, but the sight of your panicked gaze causes a mischievous grin to take over his features. “But, I’m down to if you are—“
“No—"
“You know what?” Angel nods as he tugs his foot out of his jeans. “Your plan is better.”
“Angel—“
There’s no point throwing in a protest. Angel has fully stripped down to his briefs.
You step forward as he moves to push them down.
“I am serious, Angel. Do not do it.”
He rolls his neck before letting out a loud, and exaggerated, “fine.”
“But the only way that’s coming back on,” he nods towards the shirt in your hands before taking a step back. “You gotta join me.”
“I’m not doing this.”
Angel shoots you a look of skepticism as he takes another step towards the water.
“You’re already wet,” he chuckles. “Might as well get in.”
You remain where you are as Angel turns and makes his way into the water.
He waits until he’s waist-deep to start swimming out. He disappears out of sight as you drop his shirt to the ground. Stepping out of your flip-flops, you roll your eyes as you watch him resurface under the moonlight.
“Hurry up!” Even with the distance between the two of you, you can see Angel’s grin in your mind perfectly.
Despite your initial protest, you stay in the water for nearly an hour. Angel stands alongside you. His right-hand rests against your spine, his left interlaced with yours as your float. He watches you, his eyes admiring the moonlight against your skin as you focus on the stars above.
“I can’t remember the last time I looked at these,” you admit.
He smiles as your eyes drift shut. “Mom used to freak every time she caught us sneaking onto the roof to look at them.”
“That’s because you fell off one time. Nearly gave her a heart attack.”
“Wouldn’t have been the first time.”
You bite back a smile as Angel’s lips lightly brush against yours. They drift to the bridge of your nose as you release a soft giggle.
“Speaking of mom’s, yours came by last week.” Angel watches as the smile on your face slowly fades. “You were at work. I was taking Jeyson to school. She said she’s been calling you.”
“I wouldn’t know,” you admit. “She’s blocked.”
“I was thinking...since we’re heading back a day early, we should stop by your mom’s on the way back–”
“No.”
Angel releases a deep breath. He wasn’t naive to think you would jump at the idea. But, since seeing her, Angel couldn’t get the thought out of his mind.
“I know ya’ll don’t get along, but my mom’s not here to see Jeyson grow up. I think he should be able to know the grandparents he has left.”
“I get that, but I’m not doing it.”
Your eyes remain closed as you concentrate on the waves gently pushing against your skin.
Angel doesn’t say anything else on the subject. He knows your response will stay the same. It has for the past nine years. He also doesn’t say anything else because he knows he’s the reason you won’t budge.
The hatred your mother has for Angel may be misplaced, but she is too stubborn to admit it. She has always blamed Angel for many of your actions, starting when you were kids. Anytime you didn’t go through with what she had planned for you, Angel was to blame. You missed curfew in high school Angel was to blame. You skipped school on your birthday Angel was to blame. You didn’t attend the college she spent her entire life preparing you for Angel was to blame. You got pregnant out of wedlock Angel was to blame.
It had all came to a head at your baby shower. Angel wasn’t there, but it was the first time he’d ever seen his mother truly angry. Sure, Marisol had gotten mad at Angel countless times. But seeing how mad Marisol was as she recounted the fight she had witnessed between you and your mother, Angel was shocked.
He never asked what words were exchanged, and he didn’t have to. All he knew was that from that moment forward, everyone avoided the subject of your mother.
“I get what you’re saying, Angel,” you sigh. “But, if my mom truly wanted to get to know Jeyson she would apologize. I can’t bring our son around someone that has said the things she’s said about you. If she can say them about you, she can say them about him because Jeyson is your son.”
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“Shit, I really look as bad as I feel?”
The smile on Tommy’s face grows as you look up. The heat covering your skin seems to rise as you start to speak.
“No—” You wince. “I’m sorry for staring—it’s rude.”
“It’s all good,” Tommy chuckles as he watches your eyes leave his.
He watches as you bite your lip. Whatever is on your mind, you don’t share it. Instead, your eyes linger on the bruise beneath his right eye. You’ve seen enough damage on Angel to know how bad it must have looked a few days prior.
“Hey, relax.” Tommy shifts forward in his seat, the sound of his shackles dragging across the table causing your attention to refocus. He meets your gaze. “The Doc cleared me—gave me my two Advil and sent me back to my cell. I think it’s safe to say I’m not gonna die.”
Despite the smile on his face, your head still shakes.
“Yeah, but I still feel bad that it happened. I was supposed to double-check the clearance of your paperwork.”
“Trust me, it’s not your fault,” Tommy chuckles. He watches your eyes drop to his freshly bruised knuckles. “It’s mine. The funny thing about this place is, you always run into people from your past. My mom used to said I never knew when to stop talking. I might have said the wrong thing at the wrong time.”
You watch as Tommy’s eyes briefly drift over your shoulder to where Rogers sits in the corner. His smile returns as his gaze drifts back to you.
“So, I take it you had fun.” He notes your raised brow before backtracking. “The Warden said he called your office and your boyfriend answered, said you were out of town.”
Your eyes roll. “Hey, go easy on my boyfriend. He’s the one who went to the courthouse. From what I hear, he slammed Judge Miller hard because your paperwork has been approved.”
You take in Tommy’s skepticism. You slide the signed form across the table, allowing him a better view.
“Signed by the Warden as well,” you point out. “Thanks to Aiden as soon as we’re done here, you’re being moved out of the unit.”
“No shit?” Tommy chuckles. He nods in approval as he scans the form. “I’ll be sure to thank Aiden when I see him. Guess you were right. He’s got some balls after all...Look, I know I’m not the easiest client….so um….Thanks for pushing for this. Making sure everything was straight. Most people would’ve just left me where I was.”
“Yeah, well I can’t have you die before I get fully paid.”
The laugh Tommy releases brings a smile to your lips. He settles back against his chair as you pick up your pen.
"I need you to understand that this new assignment may not be your favorite," you explain. "You're being moved to a new unit, but I can't get you moved again. That means, you can't do anything else, Tommy. Do you understand me?"
Tommy nods. He looks up as your hand finds his.
"This," your lift his hand forcing him to take in his swollen knuckles. "The shit you pulled. You're lucky they didn't throw you in AdSeg. That's 23 hours in your cell. No phone calls, no visits. Nothing. The only reason they didn't throw you in there is because they messed up, and didn't want Aiden to draw a motion against the judge. I don't care what you have to do, but you better learn to walk away from a fight. Now."
"I know." Tommy sighs as you let him go.
“Then do it. My job is already hard enough as it is. I can't have you trying to kill someone while you're already here for murder. Plus, the judge is pissed because of the paperwork Aiden had to file. That's not good for either of us. So, that means I need your help.”
His brow raises, the corners of his lips turning up into a smirk. “I thought I was supposed to be the one asking for help.”
“True, but help is a two-way street.”
Tommy hesitates for a moment. His eyes drop to his knuckles as he lets off a light shrug.
“What do you need?”
“For you to tell me why you were meeting with Alexander Maddox the night you were arrested.”
Tommy’s smile fades quicker than it came. His jaw tightens as he shakes his head.
You sit forward resting your elbows on the table.
“Tommy, if it’s about the MC.” Tommy’s eyes lift for a brief second. Long enough for you to catch a glimpse of the shock in his eyes. You lower your voice. “I know you’re with the Horsemen—”
Tommy shakes his head. “Look—I get you got a job to do, but—there’s just shit with the MC I can’t talk about—”
“I know how this stuff works—”
“Got a lot of personal experience with an MC?” Tommy asks.
His question causes you to release a deep breath.
“If you don’t want to tell me anything, fine. But when it comes down to it, Tommy. People will cut you off to save themselves.” The irritation in your voice lifts his gaze. “That shipment you were carrying, was not a dime bag. Your brothers will let you go down for this. Hard. They will let you rot in here for the rest of your fucking life if it means avoiding a R.I.C.O. case.”
Tommy’s brow furrows. “What’s a R.I.C.O.?”
His question throws you off. The pure confusion on his face causes you to backtrack.
“You seriously don’t know what that is?”
“I mean—I’ve heard of it...how do you know what it is?”
“It’s what you pay me for,” you remind him.
“Then I guess I’m paying you to explain it to me.”
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The moment you step outside of the elevator, you come face to face with a wide-eyed Isabela.
“Is your phone dead?” She asks the irritation in her voice causing your brow to arch.
“Off—I had a client meeting with Tommy. I thought I told you—”
Isabela ignores your response, her eyes focused in the direction of your office. “Yeah, whatever. I’ve been calling you for the last freaking hour—”
“Sorry—ow.” You wince as Isabela catches your arm. She pulls you to a stop. “What?”
She releases her grip, but she sidesteps. Blocking your path, Isabela places both hands on your shoulders. She ignores the look of confusion on your face, her gaze studying yours.
“How are you?”
Her question causes you to hesitate. “...Fine...why?”
Isabela takes another moment to study your eyes as if she doesn’t fully believe you before nodding.
“Just so you know,” she sighs as she takes a step back. “I did not let her in. Aiden did. He didn’t know any better—bless his heart—”
“What are you talking about?”
“Your mother.” Isabela winces at the look on your face. “She’s in your office. Promise me you won’t make a scene.”
“It’s never me you have to worry about,” you mumble.
When you enter your office, you find your mother is not where Aiden asked her to sit and wait for you.
She is standing behind your desk studying a photo that she holds in her hands.
“Put it back.”
She jumps at the sound of your voice, her body turning so that she faces you.
“Put it back, please.”
Her eyes return to the photo of Angel seated on his bike. A grinning Jeyson is seated in front of him, clinging to the handlebars.
“He looks so much like his father.”
You cross the room. Taking the photo, you place it back in its original resting place before dropping your purse onto your desk.
“What do you want?” You ask as you watch step around your desk.
“Is that a way to greet your mother?”
“According to the last time we spoke, I don’t have one.” You recollect as you take a seat. “It’s been...nearly nine years, so my memory might be a little hazy, but I’m pretty sure that’s what you told me.” Your brow furrows as she moves to take the seat across from you. “There’s no need for you to sit. This conversation won’t last long. I have a meeting in a few minutes. What do you want?”
Your mother’s jaw tightens as she remains standing. Her eyes roll as she speaks. “I take it he didn’t pass along my message.”
“He did pass along your message, actually,” you admit. “Believe it or not, Angel said I should call you and listen to what you had to say. I just chose to do what I’ve done for the past nine years—ignore it. If you’re not going to answer my question, mom, then you can leave.”
“Your father and I want to see our grandson—”
“No.”
She expects more, but your attention has already moved on to the papers you’ve dropped onto your desk.
“See, I told you the conversation wouldn’t last long.”
“Y/N,” your mother objects. “It’s been nearly nine years.”
Your fingers interlaced as you force yourself to take a deep breath. You surprise even yourself as your voice comes out quiet and calm.
“I told you before. I do not want you near my son, and I meant it. I don’t care what excuse you’ve come here to give today. I’m not changing my mind. Your only hope is to speak with his father, and hope he’s more forgiving than I am.”
Aiden stops in the doorway, his eyes widening as he reads the room. He takes a step back but pauses as you give him a warm smile.
“Hi, Aiden! Please tell me you haven’t eaten lunch yet.”
“No,” Aiden clears his throat. His eyes briefly pass to your mother whose gaze remains on you. “I haven’t.”
“Good. Can you order two of whatever you’re having? I’ll pay. We have to go ahead and look over this case.”
Aiden nods as you add, “great. Can you also escort my mother downstairs? She’s ready to leave.”
“I’m sorry for ruining your retreat.”
Aiden’s apology breaks your concentration.
Seated on the floor of your office, Aiden has his back pressed against your desk. His usually polished appearance is disheveled. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, the top buttons of his shirt undone. His tie and jacket are discarded on the back of your chair.
His apology is one he has been working himself up to share for the last three hours. Each time he thought of sharing it, he’s backed out. At this point, he’s run out of pointless conversation and has reached the bottom of your takeout container that he took over.
“What are you talking about?”
Aiden’s eyes remain on the chopsticks in his hand.
“Isabela told me not to call you about Tommy,” he clears his throat. He steals a glance in your direction. “She said it should wait until you got back—but as usual—I panicked and called you. Now you’re back early--”
“Aiden, you didn’t ruin my retreat,” you sigh. Your palms rub against your tired eyes. “It was rocky was to begin with.”
The admission silences the office. Aiden nods before opening his mouth.
“So,” you smile as you lightly bump his shoulder with yours. “Please, don’t worry about it. Angel was probably happy you called so he could leave.”
Your gaze returns to the slow-paced printer. Upon learning you were coming home early, Aiden had sent you a text message.
📲: I have some stuff to show you about Tommy.
And by “some stuff” Aiden meant a board. He had stolen one of Samuel’s whiteboards from the conference room. The entire surface is covered in your notes and information from Tommy’s files.
“I can’t believe you did all this while I was gone,” you stare at the board. “Your girlfriend might think you’re spending too much time on me.”
Aiden’s smile is sheepish. “If I had one, I wouldn’t have had time to do this.”
“Well, remind me to find you one because this is amazing.” The tease causes Aiden’s smile to grow. “I’m serious, Aiden. I can’t believe you thought you couldn’t be any help.”
“I didn’t really do anything,” he shrugs, his gaze focused on the paper in his hand. “They’re all your notes, I just organized them.”
His eyes widen, a grin finding his lips as your arms wrap around his neck.
“Call it whatever you want,” you smile. “But I still get to say thank you.”
“It’s not a big deal,” he rubs the back of his neck before glancing over at you. “We’re a team….speaking of...I found this.”
The picture he lifts is not new. It is one you’ve seen before. Your brow furrows as you take in the pregnant woman on display.
“I already know who that is,” you admit. “It’s the girlfriend of—”
“Alexander Maddox.” Aiden nods. “Right. I kept going back to your notes. You had one question. Why was Tommy meeting with Maddox in the first place?”
Your head shakes the confusion on your face prompting the rolling of Aiden’s eyes.
“How is this the answer?”
“You were asking the wrong question.” A mischievous grin slides onto his face as Aiden realizes you’re still not following his train of thought. “I can’t believe I figured something out before you—”
“Oh my goodness, Aiden—”
“When he was arrested, Tommy was carrying a shipment--”
“Yeah, something he shouldn’t have been doing by himself.”
Aiden’s brow arches. “You got a history of drug trafficking I don’t know about?”
“You’d be surprised what you pick up on this job.”
Aiden shakes his head as you motion for him to continue.
“While I was working, I kept thinking back to our conversation at the courthouse,” Aiden continues. “You said Tommy’s smart—"
“He uses people to get what he wants.”
“Exactly,” Aiden grins. He lifts the picture in his hand. “Why would Maddox meet up with someone from a rival club, in the middle of the night, with his pregnant girlfriend in tow if he was threatened by them?”
Aiden doesn’t bother answering the question. Instead, he waits for you to make the connection. The smile on his face remains as your eyes widen.
“Because he was there to make a deal.”
“Exactly!” Despite the smile on your face, Aiden’s face dampens. “...but that’s as far as I got. I don’t really know what made Tommy kill him—”
“Of course you do, Aiden.” Despite your reassurance and the confidence in your voice, Aiden’s expression hasn’t changed. “Your brain just needs a second to catch up. Maddox didn’t keep up his end of the deal. He probably tried to screw Tommy over. Not realizing that Tommy would kill him, girlfriend in tow.”
"Well, now we know why Tommy's been tight-lipped about that night. Probably doesn't want it to get out that he was skimming from the club's business."
The hug you give him brings the same response as before.
“I should help you out more often.” Aiden chuckles as you give him a squeeze.
“Careful,” you tease. “Angel’s not too fond of sharing.”
“Speaking of Angel…” Aiden’s gaze meets yours. “I know you asked me not to say anything to him about Samuel—”
“It’s okay.”
Aiden nods, but he continues. His rambling brings a soft smile to your lips.
“Yeah, but I just...I didn’t want you to think I was okay with what Samuel did.” His words come out quietly as he shakes his head. “The way he talked to you...it wasn’t right. You work harder than anyone here—including him—and for Samuel to do that was fucked up. I didn’t say anything in the meeting, and I should have. So, I just...I told Angel when he asked about it.”
“He would have found out eventually,” you laugh softly. “Besides, now Angel likes you.”
“For real?” The smile on Aiden’s face stretches into a grin as you nod.
A silence falls over the office as Aiden’s head rests against the desk. His brow furrows as your eyes fall to your hands. There is a final question on his mind. One he’s tried to find a way to raise since he started flipping through your notes on Saturday morning.
“Are you pregnant?”
The question lifts your gaze.
Aiden reaches into the pocket of his shirt. Your eyes widen as you take in the white card he produces. It is a card you spent the entire morning trying to find. The scheduled appointment one you have yet to share with Angel.
“It was in the notebook you turned over for me and Samuel to review,” Aiden explains as he passes the card over. “Don’t worry. I saw it before he did...I figured he was the last person you wanted to know.”
Your eyes focus on the date. A week and a half away. The initial scheduling may have been premature, but you couldn’t shake the feeling Angel was right.
“Uh...no—I mean, it’s too early to tell.” You turn the card over before looking up. “I should know by this date, so can you not tell anyone about this? I haven’t even told Izzy...or Angel for that matter. I don’t want to say anything until I’m a hundred percent sure.”
Aiden nods, a soft smile on his lips. “Of course.”
“Thanks.” You allow your head to rest back against the desk. “I don’t want to get Angel’s hopes up too early.”
It was the only thought you’ve had from the moment you woke up alongside Angel that moment. But as you glance back at the card in your hand, you know the truth has nothing to do with Angel. It’s not his hopes that you’re afraid of letting down.
You place the card aside, pulling your knees to your chest. Your gaze drifts to the board before you. The two of you sit in silence, eyes focused on your work. Silently willing your brains to come up with one more revelation before packing it up for the night.
"Alright," Aiden huffs. "I think we've gotten as far as we can get tonight."
HIs brow furrows, a chuckle filling the air as he fingers brush against your arm.
"Didn't take you for a tattoo person."
You glance over at him, following his gaze to the ink on your arm.
"Yeah, well, you've never been dragged to a tattoo parlor with Angel," you laugh. "Now, I try to avoid them at all cost."
"It's pretty cool," he grins, his eyes lingering on the design. "He has one too? Matching?"
"Yep," your eyes roll lightly. "Please don't tease me about teenage decisions."
"I won't," he chuckles. Aiden sits forward, lightly patting your leg before moving to collect the trash.
“Aiden?”
“Huh?” He glances up from the takeout containers in his hands.
“How long was he in Chino?”
“Tommy...uh, hold on.” Balancing the containers in his left, Aiden quickly rifles through the stacks of papers spread across the floor before him. “Says here...he was in Chino for....30 months.”
“Any way we can figure out where he was housed?”
“I don’t know,” Aiden admits as his eyes scan the wrap sheet. “His charges were nothing compared to now. Petty crime, so he wasn’t housed at maximum. Why?”
Once his question is met with silence, Aiden glances over his shoulder at you.
“What’s wrong?” The concern in his eyes slowly morphs to fear as he takes in your expression. “Did I miss something?”
“No, I did.”
“What do you mean?”
Before he can pose the question, you’re already pushing yourself to your feet.
“Go home, okay? It’s getting late—don’t worry about the mess. I’ll clean it up in the morning.”
Although you’ve managed to mask your expression, the trembling of your hands causes Aiden’s brow to furrow.
“You sure?” He objects. He quickly stands, stopping you from grabbing your keys from your desk. “I can send an email about his placement in Chino—”
“No.” Your response comes out more panicked than you want. You quickly backtrack. The reassuring smile you give Aiden not holding the weight it’s meant to. “I’ll do it in the morning. I have to go see Angel.”
“Okay.” Aiden nods. He passes over the sheet watching as you excuse yourself.
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Jeyson Reyes sits at the table in the center of the clubhouse, his math homework abandoned. His attention is devoted to the bowl of skittles in front of him. He has spent that past minute carefully picking out his least favorite skittles—the yellow.
“Word on the street is you got a birthday coming up,” Angel accepts another yellow skittle before popping it in his mouth. Jeyson’s eyes widen as he briefly pauses the task at hand. Angel’s brow furrows as his eyes study his son’s face. “How old are you turning again? Five—”
“Nine!”
“Nine? Nah--that can’t be right.” Angel shakes his head as he takes in Jeyson’s broad grin. “I don’t believe you—”
“Uh-huh,” Jeyson nods, dropping another skittle into his father’s palm. “I turn nine in seventeen days.”
“Shit—”
“That’s another dollar in the swear jar,” Jeyson reminds him as he passes Angel another skittle.
“I know,” Angel chuckles. He rests back against his seat, his eyes lingering on your son as he quietly admits. “I can’t believe you’re that old.”
Jeyson’s nose scrunches. “I’m not old.”
“Yeah, you are,” Angel laughs, his hand brushing against Jeyson’s hair. “You’re almost an adult.”
“I’m still a kid,” Jeyson giggles as his eyes lift to meet his father’s. “You’re old—”
“Hey—I am not old,” Angel retorts, the feigned look of offense causing your son’s giggles to increase.
Jeyson reaches over pointing towards the beard Angel’s hand passes over. “You have gray hair—lots of it.”
His father’s gaze narrows as Jeyson’s grin stretches as far as his cheeks will allow. As if to soften the blow, Jeyson drops two more skittles into Angel’s palm before eating one of his own.
Angel’s smile remains as he watches Jeyson redirect his attention back to the bowl of skittles on the table.
“Have you thought about what you want for your birthday?"
Jeyson shrugs. “Not really.”
“Not really?” Angel’s brow raises. “You’re counting down to your birthday, but you don’t know what you want?”
Jeyson lets off a second shrug, his concentration on the skittles causing Angel’s brow to furrow.
“You know we’re gonna end up getting whatever it is you want,” Angel smiles as he ruffles Jeyson’s hair. “You’ve been doing everything you’re supposed to in school.”
Despite Angel’s words, Jeyson’s gaze remains down. He chews on the inside of his cheek. The action causes his father to slide the bowl of skittles aside.
“What’s up? You don't think you can get what you want?”
Nearly a minute passes before Jeyson answers Angel’s question. His voice comes out quietly.
“I want you to stay at home.”
Angel’s brow furrows. The response is not what he’s anticipating. “I am staying at home.”
“My home, not yours.” Jeyson clarifies. “Where mom and I live.”
“That is where I’m staying.”
“You didn’t Friday. Is it because you don’t like living with us?” He asks quietly
Angel’s eyes drift shut, the tightening of his throat causing him to shake his head.
“Your mom and I—” Angel’s voice trails off as Jeyson looks up from the table to meet his gaze.
It is a conversation neither of them has breached before. One Jeyson has found himself thinking about more and more. One Angel knew he would eventually have with his son, but he hadn’t anticipated it to be now. He had also hoped you would be around to help him.
“You having two homes has nothing to do with me not wanting to live with you—or your mom. You don’t remember it, you were too little, but your mom and I...we used to fight a lot.” Angel continues. “I wasn’t nice to her, and I made her cry a lot. So I had to leave. I didn’t want to leave you or her, but I also didn’t want to hurt you or your mom. It took me a while to learn how not to do that. Friday...I couldn’t come home because I didn’t want to fight with your mom.”
“You still made her cry.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Leaning over, Angel brushes his hand against Jeyson’s hair. His touch forces Jeyson’s eyes to meet his. “You know how you and your friends get mad at each other? Sometimes we get mad at the people we love because we don’t see things the same way. But your mom being mad at me has nothing to do with you. Okay? Just because your mom and I might fight, it doesn’t mean I’m leaving.”
The soft smile Angel offers him prompts Jeyson to give him one in return.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m staying with you and your mom or at my house. I love you. That’s not ever gonna change. Never has, never will. Got it?”
Jeyson nods, his smile growing as Angel places a kiss against his skin.
As Jeyson's attention returns to the bowl of skittles, Angel reaches into his kutte. He pulls out the white envelope that he found in the mailbox upon your return home.
He studies the unfamiliar handwriting. Printed in block letters are his name and your address. His gaze passes over the generic American Flag stamp and date pressed into the right corner. The lack of a return address causes him to flip the envelope over.
Angel waits until he comes to a stop outside of the clubhouse to give the envelope a second glance. Tearing the side, he reaches inside pulling out a single index card. The handwriting matches that printed on the envelope.
An anniversary gift for the Old Lady.
Angel tips the envelope. His stomach tightens as the chill of a silver chain hits his palm. The buzzing of his phone in his kutte pocket goes ignored. He doesn’t need to unravel the chain to know who the necklace belongs to. He has looked at the necklace nearly every day since he was eighteen.
The continued vibration of his phone forces an irritated “fuck” from Angel’s lip before he pulls his phone out of his pocket.
“What?”
“This is a prepaid call from Thomas Flores, an inmate at the state correctional facility. All phone calls are subject to recording and monitoring. To decline the call, please press nine. To accept the call and all charges that will be incurred, please press one.”
Angel doesn’t remember committing the act of acceptance. A moment later, Tommy’s voice echoes through his receiver. For a man locked inside the walls of Stockton, his voice is calm and lighthearted.
“Damn, it’s been a minute since I’ve heard your voice, Reyes. Can you believe I missed it?”
“The feeling isn’t mutual,” Angel growls, his grip tightening around his phone. “How’d you get this number?”
“Come on, Reyes--give me some credit. I got it the same way I got your address,” Tommy chuckles. “I had to make sure to wish you a happy anniversary. It just passed, right? What is it six—no—seven years? Hopefully, the two of you are doing better these days—”
“Why are you calling?”
“That’s the funny thing,” Tommy sighs, the smile on his face stretches into a grin. “See, I was in my cell a few weeks back, thinking to myself—got a lot of time for that nowadays—and naturally, that led to me thinking of you. And how I missed my old cellmate. Then I remembered...you owe me a favor.”
“A favor? I don’t owe you shit--”
“That’s not how this shit works. I think the person who’s owed a debt gets to decide when it’s paid in full.” Tommy pauses, the silence from Angel’s end allowing him to continue. “Funny thing, I wouldn’t have even thought to call on you for this, but you made a simple mistake all those years ago, Angel. You talked too much...If you don’t want someone to use your Achilles, you don’t share it.” Angel’s brow furrows as Tommy’s words slowly begin to sink in. “Now, you know I’m not a religious man, but I bet you can imagine how good I felt when I realized that God, himself, dropped Y/N into my lap. What are the odds that she and I got brought together? Huh? It’d be a shame to let this God-given opportunity go to waste, don’t you think?”
“What the fuck do you want, Tommy?”
“A lot of things,” Tommy admits. “A turn with your pretty wife for starters. The way you put it, she’d do just about anything for you--”
“She’s not doing anything for you--”
“That’s okay,” Tommy chuckles. “You’ve always had my back when it came down to the wire.”
Angel’s head shakes. “No—Fuck this—I’m hanging up. I told you that night. One and done—”
“I take it you got my gift,” Tommy ignores Angel’s declaration. “And...judging by the unnecessary hostility I’m sensing in your voice, you took a trip down South recently.”
“I want what you took—”
“And you can get it back—scout’s honor.” The sincerity in Tommy’s voice would fool a stranger, but not Angel. “After you help me out one last time. For old times sake.”
“I’m not helping you do shit.”
“Damn,” Tommy sighs. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t say that.”
“And you’re gonna leave her alone. Come up with an excuse, I don’t care. You’re finding a new attorney—”
“No can do, Reyes. See, I don’t benefit by losing her.” Tommy explains. “Unless you wanna consider my proposal. Last time I’m offering. I think you’ll find my way is the easiest—for everybody involved.”
A silence falls over the line. The trembling of his hands tightening Angel’s grip on his cellphone.
“Alright, well, my time is almost up,” Tommy yawns. His eyes pass to the clock overhead. “Plus, I know it was a lot to dump on you, so I'll give you the night to mull it over. Tell your lady I said thanks for visiting me today.”
Angel’s continued silence brings a grin to Tommy’s face. His chuckle fills this receiver.
“You haven’t told her yet….Tell me, what do you think she’s gonna say when your secret gets out? Do you think she’s gonna stick around this time? If that shit gets out, you’ll be facing more than some 18-month stint in Chino, Reyes. You’ll be facing some real-time. Ask your baby brother how that shit sits with you. All it’ll take is some rumors about the location of a missing state’s witness to start swirling...evidence anonymously getting dropped into the hands of the right people...then you and I just might be sharing a cell again.”
“Trust me, you don’t want that shit to happen.”
“Maybe...maybe not...only time will tell.” Tommy sighs. The calmness of his voice is the opposite of the feeling causing Angel to force out an unsteady breath. “Do me a favor, check with your old lady on how to get on my visitation list. I think you owe me a visit, make the shit quick, Reyes. Maybe she can get them to expedite the paperwork. You got a job to do, and your clock is ticking, homie.”
There is no need for additional words to be exchanged. Tommy hangs up, leaving Angel standing at the end of the driveway. No matter how hard Angel tried to resist—or tried to appear that he was—Tommy knew the hook was set the moment the call began.
When you pull into the clubhouse lot, you find Angel standing at the base of the clubhouse steps.
His eyes meet yours as you park, but he makes no move to meet you. The question is out before you can step around the front of your car.
“Do you know Tommy Flores?”
Angel’s eyes may be on you, but his mind is somewhere else.
“What?”
“Thomas Flores. He was serving time in Chino. Longer than you—thirty months—but you were there the exact same time. Did you hear about him while you were there?” Your question is met with silence. Angel blinks. His brow furrows as he watches you cross the lot. “I know it’s a random question, but Angel it’s really important. Okay?”
It’s common for people to cross paths. Chino is not a prison. It’s smaller than Stockton. Inmates flood in and out like clockwork. That's what your mind can produce in the time it takes you to come to a stop before him.
But it’s the look in Angel’s eyes that tightens your stomach.
It’s a look you’ve only seen once in your life.
Nearly two years ago. A night you hadn't revisited in quite some time.
When Angel had shown up unannounced at your house. This was nothing new.
Only this time, the pounding on your front door had woken you, Jeyson, and nearly half the neighborhood.
Your initial assumption was that he was drunk—it wouldn’t have been the first time Angel had shown up after a few beers and a shitty hookup only to find his way back to you. Begging you to let him stay the night, swearing to plead his drunken case, only to pass out against you the moment you were seated on the sofa.
Only this time—the moment you’d gotten the door open you were crushed by his weight. Angel's grip had been tight. The pressure caused you to wince as his face burrowed against your skin.
For once, you couldn't detect alcohol--just sweat and dirt. His grip had tightened as you tried to move back and take a better look at him.
You didn't get much out of him that night. The most you could get him to do was shower. Which was for the best because, by the time you'd helped him dry off, Angel's adrenaline crashed. He’d passed out in your bed a minute later.
In the morning, he didn’t produce much of an explanation.
"Sorry if I scared you last night," he'd mumbled as he headed to the door. "I know you asked me not to show up—unannounced like that but—I just wanted to see you."
“Yeah,” Angel nods. “I knew him.”
You wait for elaboration, but it doesn’t come. Instead, Angel takes a step back. He finds a seat on the steps, his left hand reaching up to rub his eyes.
“Yeah, I knew him? What the hell does that mean? You knew of him, or you kn—”
“No, I knew—I know him.” Angel releases a sigh, his fist crumpling the envelope he holds. “He was my cellmate.”
“No, he wasn't.” The response is automatic. The laugh you release echoes across the parking lot. The meaning behind Angel’s silence doesn’t fully register. Your brain is still reeling, trying to find a rational explanation to deny his statement and what it means. You shake your head. “No, he wasn’t. That is not fucking possible—“
“Cellblock D. That’s where they house all gang-affiliated inmates. They don’t give a shit if you’re an MC or not. It’s all the same.” Angel quietly explains, his eyes watching the realization begin to sink into your features. “They put you together with guys from other places, knowing you might not have a brother to watch your back if you need protection. Tommy’s cellmate had recently been discharged. So, after intake, I took the open space—“
“Angel, stop. I can’t have you telling me this,” you cut him off. The sight of your widened eyes not deferring Angel’s train of thought. “Do you know what this means for my case? Why couldn’t you just lie to me—”
“Because what I need to tell you is worse.”
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For One More Hour or One More Day
Dukeceit Week Day 6: Horror/Comedy
Remus and Janus work in IT, and Remus never fails to make Janus' life a bit more exciting than it should be. Janus wouldn't have it any other way.
AO3 Link: [here]
Word Count: 1416
Warnings: swearing, typical Remus-levels of implied sexual content. 
@dukeceitweek <3
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[06032021 Network Node Down- 172.12.203.1 - Dee Why ]
Janus stared at the next ticket in his queue. He didn't even have to look at which tech wrote it. He just knew. He picked up his phone and dialed. 
“'Sup, DeeDee?" 
"Because they use ancient technology and refuse to upgrade, that's why." 
There was a beat of silence on the line. Janus didn't need to see him to know Remus was grinning like a maniac. 
“Oh, JD, I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," Remus said finally. His voice was laced with barely-contained glee. 
“Uh-huh, sure," Janus replied dryly. He watched on his screen as an incoming call diverted from his in-use line. "Do you want to clarify for me, in excruciating detail, what, exactly, it is that broke this time? After all, if it's something I can fix from here, it would save the company an awful lot of money. And you know how I love saving this company money." 
“You don't feel like taking work calls either, huh?" 
“Ree, I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."
-
[06142021 CRITICAL | Device failed Availability and Latency checks - Dispatch Requested]
Janus sat in his truck for a few minutes, cross-checking the address across his e-mail, Slack, and the ticket itself. And yeah, they all matched. This wasn’t a repeat of that time Remus had changed the address on the ticket from 96th St. to 69th St. as a joke. 
(Janus had almost gotten mugged. He was still a little salty about that one.)
But this time, all the addresses matched. The problem was, he was parked in front of a restaurant instead of the usual office building, and that just didn’t seem right. He opened up Slack on his phone. 
Janus D’lyre: Are you sure the address is right?
Remus Rey: Yeah, it’s right.
Janus D’lyre: It’s a restaurant. 
Remus Rey:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Janus D’lyre: Are you positive it’s right?
Remus Rey: I just write the tickets, Dee, I don’t do a background check. Just go in.
Janus sighed. He got out of his truck, hefted his tech bag over his shoulder, and went inside.
It was a nice restaurant. Very fancy, with a goddamn chandelier hanging over the front lobby. Field engineers weren’t required to dress in a suit and tie, but Janus did by habit- and he was glad he did, because he would feel like a horrible slob standing here in jeans and a polo.
“Can I help you?”
Janus looked over to the host, standing at the counter with a bright smile that only looked 52% faked.
“Yes,” Janus answered. “I’m here about the network issues?”
“Oh!” The host- his name tag read ‘Patton’- brightened up a bit. “Yeah! Remus is waiting for you, this way!”
“Remus is what?”
It was too late. Patton had already darted around the counter and off into the dining area. Janus sighed and, regretting every life choice leading up to this exact moment, followed.
Sure enough, Remus was waiting for him. Patton led him to a quieter area of the restaurant, where Remus was sitting at a table. Well, sitting was a generous way to phrase it, because in reality, he was tipped back on the rear two legs of the chair, combat boot-clad feet up on the table. He jumped up eagerly at the sight of Janus, and somehow managed not to fall backwards and crack his skull open. 
“Hey! You made it! Thanks, Pat!” 
“No problemo!” the host replied with a grin before heading back to the front counter. Janus briefly considered that he might be having a fever dream right now.
“Remus, what the fuck?” 
“Told you it was the right address!”
Janus glared. “That is not what I’m ‘what the fuck’-ing you about.”
“I mean, I’d prefer me fucking you-”
“Remus.”
“Well, you work so hard, DeeDee,” Remus said calmly, as if he wasn’t standing in the middle of the fanciest restaurant on this side of town, dressed in his usual tank-top and leather vest combo and probably mashing dirt into the plush red carpet, and definitely doing something that should get him fired. “I thought you could take a break, and we could have a nice dinner.”
No, he wasn’t doing something that should get him fired. He was doing something that should get them both fired. 
“You’re joking, right?”
“Kinda a lame joke.”
“Remus, you had me dispatched to a random address for a fake problem, to have dinner with you on company time?”
“‘Course not, who do you think I am?”
Janus did not dignify that with an answer. He turned to walk away.
“Jannie, wait!” Remus darted around the table to get in front of him. Janus stopped, and glared. “This is Roman’s restaurant! It’s not a random address, he’s an actual client.”
Janus’ glare lessened. Ok, sure, they did have some smaller commercial clients. And sure, Remus had mentioned his brother’s restaurant was using them as tech support now after a bad experience with a different company. But- “It’s still a fake problem, Remus.”
A shit-eating grin spread across Remus’ face. “Nah. I unplugged the router.”
Janus snorted in a totally dignified manner. “You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“...Well, I suppose… I’d better investigate the issue. Couldn’t be solved remotely, hardware problem and all.”
Remus held out a hand. Janus took it, and let Remus lead him back to the table.
“Great, cause I already ordered!”
-
[06192021 Switch is problematic. Unable to get into the switch || Serial No. 111-0203-2018]
Janus very calmly cleared the ticket, set his work phone to away, pulled out his personal phone, and sent Remus a text. 
Jannie-D: I know you’re upset I didn’t let you fuck me last night. Get over it. 
Remster: i will not 
Virgil Caligo: yo are u and remus like good?
Janus D’lyre: We had a small argument last night. Why?
Virgil Caligo: [image attached]
Janus sighed. Virgil had sent him a screenshot of a ticket update Remus had just posted.
[06292021 Ticket #00679 Update.] ‘The device is not only unresponsive to simple ping requests, but is being kind of a jerk about it. 100% package loss, a tragedy. Device was confirmed to be connected to a working power source, but they all say that, so who can really be sure. Dispatch requested, please confirm maintenance window. Actually showing up would be great, too.’
Janus hastily typed a message to Virgil. 
Janus D’lyre: Did you take that one?
Virgil Caligo: ya. logan didnt see dw
Janus D’lyre: Thanks. You can transfer it to me, I’ll take care of it. 
Janus leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. What a comedy of errors this day had been. It was the last time he’d forget he and Remus had a date night planned, that’s for sure. 
Remus sighed when a priority ticket popped up in his queue. He was having a grand time ignoring his other queues in favor of sculpting a rather elaborate dick out of the green Play-Doh he kept at his desk, but he really did not feel like getting bitched out by Logan for missing a priority ticket. Grumbling to himself, he stuffed the Play-Doh back into its tub and opened the ticket. 
[06292021 Ticket #00679 Update.] ‘Likely a hardware bug. Possible remote fix with reset and reconfigure. Device information missing from online records. Please check file and update record.’ 
Fuck. Remus hated pulling files. What a pain. He trudged his way upstairs to the records room, which was always dark and depressing because nobody ever went there because who the fuck used physical paper in 2021?
But when he unlocked the door and pushed it open, the light was on. And every surface was covered in flowers.
“What the fuck?” Remus asked the flowers. They didn’t answer. But, at the small desk near the door, there was a stack of green boxes from his favorite bakery- and on top of that, he saw an envelope with his name on it. Eagerly, Remus tore open the envelope. 
Inside, he found a single sheet of Janus’ fancy stationery paper, the kind with the little holographic snakes along the edge that he only ever used for special occasions. And on that paper, one single sentence, penned in Janus’ elegant, flourishy handwriting: Ok, you can fuck me tonight.
- - -
[06292021 Ticket #00679 Update.] ‘I take it back, the device is no longer being a jerk, and I love the device very much.’ 
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nicanario · 3 years
Text
this post is a product of its time
tw: discussion of racism, homophobia, misogyny and a short mention of sexual abuse.
ok, this is basically gonna be a very long rambling post about my not fully developed thoughts on the justification many people give to bigotry when talking about the past: "it was a product of its time"
it would be fair to say, with me being a raging SJW socialist scumbag, that I don't think this is a very good argument and is most of the time actually an excuse to not think about the problems inherent to our society, historical or not, and, by extension, the problems with ourselves. but I do think that sometimes, just sometimes, this can be a valid point, or at least one that raises some interesting questions.
I'm going to cite examples from several pieces of media, but fear not, I'll try to make this as accesible as I can.
so, let's take Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS) as our first case study. this show has, correctly, been called progressive by everyone except for clueless people who don't know much about Star Trek's history, Star Trek's crew, Star Trek's cast, or, frankly, Star Trek. because if you ignore the clear, sometimes in-your-face political history and present of the franchise, I don't think you know much about it at all. I do think you can call yourself a fan if you like it, you may have watched every single episode for all I know. but lots of mental gymnastics are needed to ignore the political progressiveness Star Trek has had since its very beginning.
episodes like Let That Be Your Last Battlefield are obviously anti-racist, at least in their intention. but the episode in question really is "a product of its time," and at the very end fails to uphold its ideals. the episode ends with the two aliens (who are LITERALLY. BLACK ON ONE SIDE. AND WHITE ON THE OTHER. BUT IN THE OPPOSITE SIDES.) fighting each other on their devastated planet, and the crew is like, "oh yeah if they both would give up on their hatred that they both share both of them equally" when it has been firmly established that one is the oppressor and the other one is the oppressed.
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and that's a lot of Star Trek, not just TOS. even Discovery, one of the most recent series, has done Bury Your Gays (and Trans) TWICE (though both times literally rectified it, which is cool). there are episodes of the franchise that are overtly racist, or misogynistic, etc. TOS is lauded, mostly justifiably, as very progressive, especially for the standards of the time. they put a woman of colour as one of the senior staff, for fuck's sake. of course, when you analyse that same character, as with most of their intentions at being progressive, you'll see that she was relegated and sometimes even outright mistreated when she had the potential to be much more. but, at that time, it was a lot.
I had a friend (emphasis on "had") who, after I told him about TOS's both progressiveness and constant misogyny, told me something like "imagine feminists trying to complain about a show from the 60s." so, with unearned spite, he was, in some way, trying to make the argument that it was a product of its time.
you could say Star Trek, all of Star Trek, is "a product of its time" in the sense that it's not always perfect. uh, yes, I would agree. but that doesn't mean people have to accept it. well, I mean, the show is kinda over, you have to accept it's that way. but you don't have to accept that it's not wrong just because it was a product of its time.
H. P. Lovecraft, as another example, was a greatly influential writer whose works still shape a lot of people's ideas to this day. I have only ever read like one of his stories, so don't expect me to have an opinion on his works. but I can have an opinion on what I know about him as a person (he did have a life outside his writing, after all). and, yeah, he was a huge asshole. if you want to know more in depth about the subject, please watch Hbomberguy's video on him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8u8wZ0WvxI
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but basically, he was incredibly racist & homophobic. some people might even say, "he was a product of his time." well, there are two possible rebuttals to that. the surface level one, and the one that examines why that argument is wrong to the core.
The Surface Level Response to "it was a product of its time": um, no it wasn't. Lovecraft was more racist than a lot of people even in his time. he wasn't just a guy who carried the racist beliefs of his society like everyone else, he was a reactionary who actively thought and discussed how racist he was, and how right he was for being that way. but that's only applicable to Lovecraft. one can't argue the same for Star Trek: TOS, because TOS did try to be more progressive and more anti-racist than the rest of its society. that leads us to the next response.
The Response that Actually Deals with the Fact that No Matter How Progressive You're Trying to Be, Your Failings Can Still be Criticized: the thing is, trying to excuse Lovecraft's or Star Trek's bigotry because they were "products of their times" misses the fact that racism is still wrong, and some people knew that in those times as well. people from these times weren't all naive or stupid or whatever. they had the capacity for rational thinking. they could stop and think, "hey, maybe what we're doing is wrong." and the fact is, some people did. not perfectly, not to our standars, but they did. everyone could have stopped and think. but most of them didn't, and we can criticize them for it. racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. HURT PEOPLE. horribly. massively.
also, even if you agree with the "it's a product of its time" argument, some people aren't criticising people's or work's bigotry: they're explaining why they don't want to experience it.
The Talons of Weng-Chiang is a 1977 Doctor Who serial, and it's one of the show's more racist stories. almost all the villains are Chinese, every single Chinese person is a villain. there's yellowface, slurs, stereotypes, the Doctor speaking nonsense words instead of actual Chinese, and a general belittling of Chinese culture.
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note that I'm neither Chinese nor of Chinese descent. I have been searching for hours for a few posts I've read a while ago (some by people who are of Asian descent) about this episode and I can't find them. sorry.
suffice it to say, even though I love Jago & Litefoot (the audio series and the characters), it's not an acceptable episode at all. but it's also important to remark that, because of it, some people aren't going to want to watch it. sometimes, people aren't saying "the episode shouldn't be this way," which causes others to answer that it was "a product of its time." sometimes, people are just saying, "this is an episode that attacks real people. I don't want to see it. I don't care if it was common in that era to be racist, i don't want to experience it."
however, there is an interesting point to the "it's a product of its time" argument. after all, everything is influenced by its society, for better or worse. and we can't change it anymore. TOS sometimes didn't quite understand the political themes it wanted to explore. Lovecraft was a horrible bigot. Talons was racist towards Chinese folks. and that's that. I don't think we should change the episodes/stories or anything. edit them in any way. that would be, in a sense, changing history. and we wouldn't learn anything from it, about how we can do better.
I think there are two solutions to this:
1. warnings before starting the text: this was done with The Talons of Weng-Chiang. on Britbox, where you can watch Classic Who, this serial has a content warning before the start. that's good.
2. the removal as a whole of the text from some places: I think before applying this one, there should be a lot of thought put into each case. I don't think removing a whole serial of Doctor Who or Lovecraft's stories from anything would be, well, fair. especially on tv episodes a lot more people worked on those, not just the writers and the directors. Lovecraft's writing influenced thousands. we shouldn't erase them or anything. but sometimes, for some cases, we should.
those in the US might seen a Confederate statue being taken down. that is, in a way, a form of removal of a piece of history.
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but that is a good removal. statues glorify. one sees a statue and probably thinks "this was a person worthy of admiration." they should be taken down, maybe even with a permanent mark of why this was done (a plaque that reads "a statue of X was here, but he didn't deserve it because of Y" could be put in place of the statues, for example).
another example is the removal from DVDs of the short episode A Fix with Sontarans, a Sixth Doctor minisode that featured Jimmy Savile, a presenter who was later found out to be sexually abusing children.
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the removal of that minisode is good, actually. it's not a full episode (it's not even Doctor Who). some might say that's "erasing history" but, like, you can still find it online or information about it if you want. this minisode deserves removal from DVDs and Blu-Rays and whatever more than content warnings. it's not an important part of the show and it prominently features a horrible person who did horrible things during that time.
so, after all that, I have explained why I don't like the "it's a product of its time" argument. it is an interesting point that deserves to be examined, but it's not very good.
I have had this in Drafts for so long I've probably forgot some of the points I was going to make, but eh, what can you do? hope you enjoyed reading this.
bye
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himaboroshi736 · 3 years
Text
IronDad fic recs
Here. I’m a french reader, but I’ve read A LOT (like...a lot) of IronDad, so, eventually, here my fic rec. (I tried to class it by categories, but well...) (it’s gonna be very long, guys)
 Peter Parker has anxiety 
Don’t let me get me, by hopeless_hope 
He picks up his phone and sends a quick text. "hey, happy! i’m not feeling too hot today, so i think i’m gonna have to cancel. tell mr. stark i’m sorry!"
He stares at his phone, waiting for a response. It never comes, and Peter sighs sadly. There was a part of him, a small part, that really hoped he was wrong. His insides burn, and he curls up tighter into a ball and turns off his phone.
(No one’s going to try to contact him anyway.)
or
Anxiety has a way of convincing Peter that everyone hates him. Tony has a way of proving him wrong.
Midnight Oil, by @jolinarjackson
After everything that has happened to Peter over the last year - or five, really - he shouldn’t be worried about something as mundane as the ACT. When he fails it, though it sends him into a spiral of self-doubt, which only gets worse when Peter realizes that he doesn’t seem to be able to fix whatever is broken.
Tony Stark has anxiety 
do you even remember what the world looks like ?, by @iron--spider
Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.
Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.
“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.
Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.
not like megatron, by @iron--spider
“Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”
Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.
He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.
“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.
Hypothermia trope (i really like it so if you have any suggestions...)
i knock the ice from my bones, by hopeless_hope
Peter tries to move his legs through the water, dread filling him when they don’t move, and he just hangs there, doing anything and everything he can not to focus on the feeling of ice clinging to his bones. He feels sluggish, the world blurring around him, and he rests his head on the ice, not even registering the cold anymore.
He’s just so damn tired.
“PETER!” he hears someone yell, but it’s all muffled, and he lazily drags his eyes up to see a figure descending towards him.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thinks, This is not how my vacation was supposed to go.
or
While on what's supposed to be a relaxing vacation with the Starks, things for Peter quickly go south, and he finds himself on thin ice. Literally.
Ice Ice Baby, by @wolfypuppypiles
If Tony, Bucky or pretty much anybody that knew Peter had seen him that morning they would have smacked him upside the head. Helping people was great, everyone should give it a go, but when helping people puts you in danger it’s not so smart anymore.
AKA Peter can't get from Avenger tower to the subway without giving his winter clothes to homeless people and ends up with a severe case of hypothermia
Candle in the Window, by @madasthesea
Finals are over and Peter just wants to go home. The weather has other ideas.
Burn This Out, by @ephemeralstark
It's summer and Peter is free to be Spider-Man all day which is great, but it's summer and Peter is out as Spider-Man on the hottest day of the year which is not great.
Or, Peter gets heat stroke because he can't thermoregulate and things could not go worse for him.
(yeah, it’s not an hypothermia, but it’s linked to the fact that Peter can’t actually thermoregulate)
Post-Endgame (really like this trope too lmao)
the first birthday after, by iron_spider 
(Endgame spoilers. But The Thing doesn't happen.)
The rain falls harder and Tony turns, his neck creaking and cracking, and he sees Peter asleep over by the window. He’s holding a small, flat box, and he’s slowly slipping to the right side of the easy chair he’s in.
Tony thinks about letting him sleep, but he finds himself speaking anyway. “Pete,” he says, his voice rough and raspy.
Peter immediately startles awake. “Happy Birthday,” he says, almost like he’d fallen asleep practicing it, planning to say it as soon as he woke up. He blinks at Tony, shivering a little bit, and then he smiles. “Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday.”
Tony snorts, smiling back. “Thanks, bud,” he says.
Second Best, by Rowan_M
Tony had adjusted to parenthood quickly when Morgan came along, and was always conscious of making sure Peter isn't left out ... Almost always. When Peter gets hurt while taking care of Morgan, Tony obsess over his daughter and takes his anger out on Peter, without even checking to see if he was okay. Steve finds Peter later that night in serious pain and in need of immediate medical attention.
Or, Peter gets hurt while taking care of Morgan and Tony basically ignores him.
when you’re feeling empty keep me in your memory, by JkWriter
after everything with thanos he forgets it's his birthday. he just assumed everyone else did too.
All For You, by @ironxprince
Three weeks after the snap that saved the world, Peter learns he was the reason behind it. He learns that Tony risked death, and now has to live with the ramifications, both physical and mental, all because of him.
This doesn't sit right with him.
you save everybody, but who saves you ?, by @iron--spider
Tony doesn’t sleep, because he can’t, because too many things are plaguing him, most of all where Peter is and what he’s doing. Tony has a good view of the hallway through the windows to his room, and he stares and stares until his eyes cross, until he hallucinates, until he knows he’s going insane.
He sees Peter sneaking into the med bay at about four in the morning.
The kid’s mask is off and he’s got two short, harsh slashes across his cheek, and he’s bleeding from a slice across his neck. His suit is ripped in a few places and he’s holding onto his middle, and Tony can see his hands are shaking.
It’s like something splinters in Tony’s already broken brain, like his world narrows and there are hazy edges, both weakness and strength entwining in his veins when he sees Peter struggle up onto one of the beds in the main atrium, starting to tend his wounds without calling anybody to help.
BAMF Peter Parker 
Pizza, a Movie, and... an Attempted Kidnapping ?, by Pogokitten
“Tony. We’ll be fine,” Peter tells the man for what must be the tenth time in the last half hour.
Peter’s sitting on the couch of his and May’s apartment and building Legos with Morgan as they both watch their father’s methodical, yet anxious, pacing. He’s dressed to impress, as is Pepper who is watching the scene slightly exasperated.
“Are you sure? We can ditch the gala, kid. Just say the word,” Tony offers, halting in front of his kids.
Or: Tony and Pepper leave Peter in charge of Morgan while they go to their first gala since the third snap. Peter is expecting a calm night in with his adopted sister, but some thugs throw a wrench in his plans.
he’s good like that, by @iron--spider
“Get the hell outta here, boy,” the man says. “Or you’re gonna watch your boss die in front of you.” Then he grabs Tony by the shoulders hard, and shoves him down to his knees. The gun is louder now, like it’s filled with words that are eager to be shouted, and Tony winces when he feels the barrel press against the back of his neck. His knees weren’t ready to hit the ground that hard, and he tries to keep the pain from reaching his face.
He must fail, because Peter looks pissed.
“You’re not gonna shoot him, mister,” Peter says, somehow still trying to maintain a respectful tone, despite the clear anger written all over him.
stark robotics and technology conference, by @iron--spider
Peter leans against the wall while Tony chooses their floor, and the doors close. “Do you, uh, want me to do some interning stuff? Like go and get you coffee? Make sure the, uh—programs are all ready? Make sure the paintings are straight in the ballroom? Make sure the chairs are—”
Tony snorts. “Kid, I just thought you’d enjoy this. May told me about when it came through Queens but you two couldn’t make it because she was working and didn’t want you to go alone, and I thought, after all the shit you’ve been through lately, that you deserved something fun. No interning for you. That’s just an excuse.”
Peter remembers that. It was six months after Ben died, and he wasn’t gonna bother May too much about the conference. He didn’t know how much tickets cost anyways, or if kids his age could even go.
He really hung onto the idea of Iron Man after Ben died. Peter held him closer than ever.
Peter and Tony fighting 
dinner and a jailbreak, by killerqueenwrites
“I’m not your kid!” Peter shouts.
“Don’t walk away from me, I’m not done–“
“You’re not my dad!”
Peter fitting in after the Blip isn't as easy as Tony hoped it would be. He wants his kid back, but they can't seem to stop fighting.
and then Peter goes missing.
my old man, by parkrstark 
"I just want to help you. I want to help you understand what's wrong here and how to stop it. I used to be the same way until my father showed me how to be a man." He glanced back at Peter to sneer. "He's old enough to know better by now, but it's not your fault you didn't know how to teach him." "Teach him what?" Tony asked even though he didn't want to know the answer.
"Discipline, of course," Junior said with a wink.
--
Tony takes Peter on a weekend trip to try and change his mind about college and things go wrong. Then, they go even more wrong.
Between how it is and how it should be, by @frostysunflowers
''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''
Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''
Soulmates trope 
presumed dead, by killerqueenwrites 
Tony gets his first soulmark when he’s fifteen, his second when he's thirty. He's forty-six when his third appears, and forty-eight when it fades to grey.
did you see the flares in the sky ?, by justt-ppeachy
‘hi’  
One simple word was displayed proudly on the inside of his right wrist. Tony wasn’t sure when this word showed up or how long it had been there.
A line formed underneath the word and Tony could almost feel the pressure on his arm from the marker his soulmate was using to push one phrase from their skin into his.
‘i loev yu’
The letters were written slowly and messily as they showed up upon his wrist while he watched in disbelief. Not sure if he was hallucinating or just going insane, Tony rubbed at the writing, wondering if they would disappear once he looked again.
The words were barely recognizable, but they were still the best thing Tony had ever seen.
IronDad Fluff (yeah)
peter wearing tony’s hoodie, by killerqueenwrites 
Tony’s used to his clothes going missing. His MIT hoodie doesn’t often leave his closet, though, which is why he notices its absence straight away. There’s a lifetime of safety and comfort in this old hoodie, for both of them, and that’s all Tony could ever wish to give Peter.
Career Day, by @superhusbands4ever
“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Peter’s enhanced senses picked up the familiar voice from outside the door. “I had a meeting this morning and then I got lost looking for the class… anyway, I’m here for Peter? Peter Parker?”
He frowned at hearing his name, still unsure what exactly was going on. He watched as his teacher continued to stand and stare out the door for a minute before seemingly remembering herself and taking a step back.
“Of course! If you could just go sit next to him until your turn, he’s in the back on the right side.”
The man stepped through the door and Peter gaped with the rest of the class as Tony Stark, in his signature suit and goatee, sporting a pair of red sunglasses and carrying a suitcase walked through the door.
Kryptonite, by forensicleaf 
The kid is acting weird.
Tony tries to figure it out.
father’s day, by @iron--spider 
It’s Father’s Day, and Tony never really had a father. Not in the real sense of the word, not in the way that counts.
Peter Parker doesn’t have a father, either. Not anymore, anyway, not since he was little, and the amount of years that have passed since then outweigh the amount of time he got with Richard Parker.
Tony wouldn’t call himself Peter’s dad. He wouldn’t, he doesn’t, he doesn’t think of himself that way, no way, no way.
He stares at himself in the mirror. He pulls down on his cheeks, makes his eyes water. He runs his hands over the roughness of his jaw and sorta hates everything about himself right now, because he’s acting like a goddamn idiot. It’s Father’s Day and he’s not a father. He doesn’t know why the hell he’s pining for something that isn’t his, shouldn’t be his, can never be his. He isn’t a father, he isn’t Peter’s father, so there’s no reason on God’s green earth for Peter and him to do something for Father’s Day.
ain’t no valley low enough, by @iron--spider (yes, again, ‘cuz she’s the best)
Peter snorts. “You know I didn’t apply anywhere in Florida.”
“Please, kid, you know all you have to do is write a beautiful essay with my recommendation attached to it and you’re in. You’ve got the scores.”
Peter has a list. Of all the places he applied to, all the places he got into. A lot of it was encouraged by the adult role models in his life, some of it by Ned daydreaming about places like California and Colorado. Mostly, Peter just applied everywhere he could think of, because he’s known for a long time that Tony was gonna help May pay for it, and he didn’t wanna limit his options. Thinking about college has been strange for him, strange to the extent that he had a full blown panic attack about it in the middle of Avengers taco night last month. He can’t really understand it, doesn’t get why it feels like the end of the world—because he’s experienced the end of the world, and it’s not which campus has a bowling alley and which school has circus classes. But he nearly blacked out all the same, sobbed in Tony’s arms on the balcony until Tony proposed this. The road trip.
and when it’s hard, i’ll place your head into my hands, by hopeless_hope
“Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”
“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”
“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.
or
It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)
Peter likes cuddles (and Tony too, but he always denies it... until he can’t)
my arms will hold you (keep you safe and warm), by parkrstark 
“So, you’re telling me your body...is going through Oxytocin withdrawals?” Tony asked slowly.
“Cuddle withdrawals,” Peter corrected him. “Mr. Stark cuddles.”
TW : Rape/non-cons
make me strong, by parkrstark 
It all started when Tony introduced Peter to Skip Westcott. He just didn't know until it was too late.
(There is a lot more, but I can’t find it rn ;-;)
5+1 
5 times peter clung to tony, by parkrstark 
... and the one time tony clung to him.
You are my Dad, you’re my dad, boogiewoogiewoogie, by Hittinmiss
“Peter? What’s going on kid?” Tony asked, him popping up on the phone’s screen.
“Hey da-” Peter started automatically before immediately noticing his mistake, the look on Ned’s face proved that yes, he almost called Tony Stark dad. He needed to try recover quickly because the look on Tony’s face seemed confused, especially with his slight pause. “-aaaaaamn Mr. Stark I really like your shirt. Where’d you get it?”
Smooth.
---
5 times Peter called Tony Dad and the 1 time Tony called himself Dad
5 Times Tony Took Care of Peter..., by As_Clear_As_Crystal 
“Think if I coded a sign into your suit that says ‘Baby on Board,’ maybe criminals wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about murdering you?” Tony asks airily, poking at the bottom of Peter’s foot.
Peter halfheartedly kicks at Tony with his toe. (“That’s offensive, Mr. Stark.” )
- - -
aka: Five times Tony took care of Peter, and one time Peter took care of Tony.
5 times Peter is stuck with Tony, by @iron--spider
(...and one time he’s stuck alone.)
“I wonder if Pepper’s reported me missing yet,” Tony says, with an exaggerated sigh. “I wonder if this is some kind of scheme to kidnap me or something.”
“I think the ride’s just broken,” Peter says.
“Today of all goddamn days,” Tony says, exasperation clear in his voice and in his eyes. “Ruining our trip—”
“It’s not ruined,” Peter says. “Look, we’re hanging out."
“Real quality time,” Tony huffs. “Us, a few other trapped members of the general public, and a handful of animatronic pirates. Drunk pirates. Repeating themselves.”
5 times tony forgot peter was just a kid, by @parkrstark
...and the 1 time he didn't.
Or the one where it was hard for Tony to remember that the kid fighting next to him was still just a kid.
can i get a good night’s sleep ? can i PLEASE get a good night’s sleep ?, by peterstank 
The doors open and there’s Peter, perched on a gurney with his shirt gone and a whole lot of blood staining his side. He’s bent awkwardly, clearly trying to feel his way around whatever wound he’s got.
“Um,” Tony says, approaching, “What.”
Peter looks up and—yeah, he’s lost a lot more blood than Tony had originally thought. His face is completely fucking drained. “Hey,” he says, offering a jaunty wave before returning his attention to his side. “I got shot.”
“Oh!” Tony nods. “Oh, okay. What the fuck, kiddo?”
or: five times peter doesn’t sleep + the one time he does
Five Times Peter and Tony Had Each Other’s Back, by Sahiya
... and One Time They Needed Help.
Peter is Tony’s Biological Child
I Had the Dream Again, by Skeeter_110
Peter calls Tony in the middle of the night crying.
Congratulations, it’s a Boy, by capiocapi 
"Sir, I have the results.”
“Okay, Jarvis. Hit me.”
“It’s a match. 99.9% chance that he is your biological son, which is the percentage needed to be recognized by law as a biological parent.”
Tony’s stomach did a funny swooping dance. “Great. Congratulations to me then, eh? It’s a boy.”
You Are My Sunshine, by @iamconstantine
Tony Stark had always been a man of science and he always would be. It was his personal and fundamental belief that everything had an explanation. His eventual encounters with Norse gods, alien life, and sorcerers did kind of quake this a little bit, but still.
One thing that had always confounded him as the one thing that had no scientific explanation was fate. Murphy’s law, Finagle’s law, the butterfly effect, the domino effect, the snowball effect, and the wisest of all: “Shit happens.”
So how peculiar was it that one of the greatest things to ever happen to him began with a tray of champagne?
Serie i love you more than anything, by @iron--spider 
The highs and lows of Tony unexpectedly becoming a single dad at 31– from Peter’s early baby years, all the way past the defeat of Thanos
May’s abusive boyfriend trope 
A Peter Parker Problem, by @spagbol99
Peter Parker was back from the dead. At least that is what everybody told him. He'd been snapped out of existence until some sort of time travel and an active death wish by his mentor had saved him and the universe. Just your average sort of life for a 16 year old from Queens.
Peter comes back to find May has a husband and a kid. A new family he has to fit into. But he has done it before, he can do it again.
The only thing that feels solid is Tony: the Blip and fatherhood have mellowed him and Peter loves the bond they have now. He knows Tony would be there for him through anything. But Tony needs to focus on his own recovery - not small time Peter Parker problems. When things at home take a turn for the worse, Peter decides that he'll handle it himself. He is Spider-man. He's been to space and fought aliens. He can get through anything. After all, if May is happy, he is happy, right? Right?
(again, I’ve read a lot more but can’t find it...)
Peter Parker Whump (everyone’s favorite trope)
Danger Pizza, by alice_in_ink
The window was pushed open, and Iron Man’s head popped into his bedroom. “Here’s where I’m confused—why lock the front door but leave the fire-escape-accessible windows unlocked?” He clambered through said window. “Seems like a safety hazard.”
Peter eyed the metal suit as it straightened to a standing position. “Did you break into my window to kill me?”
The face plate lifted, and Tony’s eyes quickly looked over the teen. “Christ, kid. It looks like you’re halfway there.”
...
A wild night on patrol leaves Peter with a broken back, and boy, does he want to be able to move without dying. (So he calls Anthony Stark, obviously.)
If You Can’t Catch A Breath (You Can Take The Oxygen Straight Out Of My Own Chest), by @losingmymindtonight
"And I would hurry. Little Peter is about to be under quite a lot of pressure, and it might get a little hard to breathe.”
I’ve Got You, by @thedumbestavenger
Peter runs into a Copycat Vulture out on patrol, from there, everything escalates.
Meetings and Migraines, by AllThingsGeeky
Peter has another migraine at an unfortunate time and despite his best efforts he can’t ignore it forever.
The Most Important Thing In The World, by S0lstice
Peter’s door creaked and began to bend under the force of the crowbar and for the first time since regaining consciousness, fear began to press into him. Something very bad was happening and it was happening fast - too fast for his sluggish mind to keep up.
He went with his instincts instead, the first one always being, Help Mr. Stark.
Friendly Fire, by @jolinarjackson
Finding a careful truce with the government, the “rogue Avengers” are allowed to return to the Compound where they are put under house arrest. Peter coming to spend one week at the Compound during his summer break couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time as the opportunity to bond a little more with his mentor is overshadowed by a conflict he doesn’t quite understand. When he starts to develop a mysterious medical condition, however, the former team is forced to work together – not just to protect Peter’s identity from the DODC, but also to find the cause for his illness before it’s too late.
“He’s my kid,” Tony said, his voice hoarse. “He’s my kid and I failed him.” He covered his eyes and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. “All I ever do is fail him.” Natasha knelt down in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, waiting for him to meet her eyes before she said, “Right now, he doesn’t need you to fix this. He doesn’t need you down here. He needs you over there, in the medbay, by his side.” She thumbed tears from the corners of his eyes and ignored the ones running down her own face. “You haven’t failed him yet.”
alarm bells and panic levels, by @iron--spider
Tony lands heavy on the dock, the wood splintering hard under the metal suit. He’s having trouble breathing, his nose is bleeding, he most definitely has more than the recommended amount of broken ribs. But none of that fucking matters. The sky is clear, the assholes are down, but there’s one thing missing.
He looks over his shoulder when Rhodey lands too. His suit is dented in a few places but other than that he looks alright. His face mask flips up and Tony lets his mask retract.
“Where’s Peter?” Tony asks, his voice rough with the amount of yelling he’s been doing. Fuck these stupid assholes. They were supposed to go mini-golfing today. The kid had been looking forward to it for weeks.
Rhodey looks around, breathing hard through his mouth. “I thought you knew.”
there’s something wrong, by @iron--spider
“I’m sorry, Pete,” Tony whispers. “We should have checked you for something like this when we were resetting your arm and checking on the concussion. Goddamnit. We didn’t think.”
“He poisoned us both?” Peter asks, trying to open one eye to look at him.
“Yeah,” Tony says, brushing Peter’s hair back from his forehead. “He’s dying. He got the brunt of it, a nice fucking cocktail of bullshit, including mercury and a bunch of other toxic shit—”
“Am I dying?” Peter whispers, voice breaking.
Fitting In (Tiny Spaces), by aloneintherain
Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.
“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”
The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.
“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”
Collections/Series (’cause I could make an inventory of all @iron--spider stories, you know, but you have to read all of her work, if you haven’t yet) (God she doesn’t even know who I am)
iron dad bingo, by @iron--spider
stay at home, by @iron--spider
whumptober, by @iron--spider
Whumptober 2019, by @marvelous-writer
Day in the life of the Iron Family, by @marvelous-writer 
The Tumblr Archives, by @losingmymindtonight
Everything comes back to you, by @losingmymindtonight
Nice work, kid, by @madasthesea
Irondad Bingo 2019, by sahiya 
The Adventures of Spidy-son and Iron-dad, by eva7673
Tony adopts Peter (why everyone kills May, btw ?)
Accepting the Tides, by @emma--anacortes
Tony had dragged Peter from the depths of despair after May's death. It was normal that he'd grown to care a little about him, right?
Yeah, okay. He freaking loved the kid.
So naturally he would feel a little weird when Richard Parker randomly shows up in Peter's life. Naturally he'd feel protective, nervous, and confused because where has Richard been all this time? And why does Tony feel sick every time he sees him around Peter?
All he knows is if Richard hurts his kid, Tony's gonna give him hell.
Series Out of Darkness, by @starryknight09
“Is this Peter Parker?”
“Yes…”
“This is Dr. Nguyen. I’m sorry but your aunt’s been in an accident and we’re going to need you to come to Queens Memorial as soon as you can.”
Peter's life shatters with a phone call. The last person he expects helps him pick up the pieces.
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Text
Float Like A Butterfly... Chapter 5: So Last Season
Summary: Now that Adrien is no longer Chat Noir he doesn't have to get hit all the time. Unfortunately, his luck doesn't seem to have gotten the memo... Or has it?
------------------------------
"So, how're you holding up?"
"Please, Adrien, it's my mother! I'm positively ecstatic!"
"Exactly. It's your mother."
Chloe looked down for a second before her eyes snapped back up, any doubts she had hidden in an instant. "She's finally coming back! I'll finally be able to show her what she's been missing." Chloe tossed her ponytail back to emphasize the unspoken Me. "Now, I've gotta go. Sabrina insisted we do an 'emotional support routine' or whatever beforehand. Ciao!"
Sighing, Adrien stared at his phone for a moment before putting it down. He knew Chloe was grateful for Sabrina's help but it was still a struggle getting her to admit it.
Or getting her to admit how much Audrey had hurt her.
It was one thing to travel halfway around the world for your career and leave your daughter behind. It was something else entirely to completely ignore her. In all the years since Audrey left Chloe hadn't received a single birthday gift, phone call or text message. Adrien would know. Chloe would've bragged about it endlessly if her mother had taken so much as two seconds to acknowledged her existence-
Adrien's foot jerked, striking the vanity table and making the connected mirror tremble. Heart suddenly pounding against his chest as tension built up in his forehead. Distressed expression reflecting back at him.
Breathe, Adrien. Breathe.
Slowly, he inhaled.
Then exhaled.
Again.
Good.
He was okay.
Adrien was okay.
Guilt pricked like a thorn for thinking of his own problems when Chloe needed him. Adrien crushed it with his anger and annoyance but it was still there. Like a splinter that wouldn't come out.
I hate you.
Swiping out of the video chat Adrien tapped on Nino's number. It rang... and rang... and rang...
He's annoyed with me. I did something wrong again and Nino doesn't want to-
Adrien smacked both sides of his face. No, dummy! Nino's just busy or something. Stop that!
It wasn't every day a teenage DJ provided the music for Paris Fashion Week, after all. Nino had to make sure all his equipment was working properly.
The door to his dressing room burst open.
"Adrien, your friend Mlle. Dupain-Cheng will be bringing the last article of the new Gabriel line," Nathalie announced. "Your father expects everything to be perfect for Audrey Bourgeois."
"Doesn't he always?" Adrien deadpanned.
Nathalie stared at his watery eyes before typing something into her tablet. "Your performance on catwalks only has a 99% success rate. He expects you'll do better."
Father thinks you're a failure just like everyone else. He-
Shut up! Adrien felt something heavy settle in his chest.
One of the makeup artists came rushing in and Nathalie gestured her towards Adrien. "Touch up his eyes," she instructed and then left.
Jaw clenching, Adrien sat perfectly still as the makeup artist did her job. He was never entirely sure what the staff thought about him. 'Professional' was a word that was tossed around a lot. That used to fill him with a little pride... Before all of this.
The last person to suggest that a thirteen year old mourning his mother wasn't 'professional' so much as he was 'depressed' had never come back to work... Oh. Adrien had forgotten about that.
Finishing quickly, the makeup artist left too. Leaving Adrien with his thoughts. He didn't want to be with his thoughts at the moment. They were distracting and Nathalie had not been subtle.
I hate-
His phone vibrated as it received someone's text.
Ni-Non: hey dude!
Ni-Non: it's crazy over here man
Ni-Non: break a leg! ;)
Adrien smiled as his unpleasant mood faded to the back of his mind... And if he saw similarities between his family and Chloe's, well, that's why he could empathize with her.
Adrien: That's theater but I guess there's not much difference.
Adrien: Thanks. ^_^
 ---------------
There was a knock at his door. Adrien stopped fidgeting in the awkward suit to go answer it.
"Hello, Marinette." Adrien smiled in greeting.
"Oh, uh, hello!" Marinette gave a small wave as she stepped up the short stairs and-
Adrien braced himself with one foot while his hands went to her shoulders. Steadying Marinette as she quickly removed her weight from him.
"Oh! Uh, sorry." Marinette looked away in embarrassment at having tripped into him.
"... No worries!" Adrien smiled as he shook his head. Marinette seemed... subdued. Reaching down to pick up the hat that had fallen. "Oh, no." The artificial feather Marinette made for his allergies had come loose. "I hope it's not too hard to fix it."
Marinette looked down. "Uh, y'know, it doesn't really matter. This hat is a complete failure anyway."
"What? No, it's not!" Adrien rose to his feet quickly in shock. "Why would you say that?"
"Because... the queen of fashion, Audrey Bourgeois, saw it and hated it!" Marinette's hands covered her face, voice breaking. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I really messed up. I'm a total no talent!" Her arms wrapped around herself in a hug. "Please, don't put it on," she pleaded.
Adrien's heart went out to Marinette as she laid her insecurities bare. "Marinette, everything's going to be fine." He searched for the proper spot to reattach the feather,  fiddling with it as Adrien reassured her. "Your hat looks great. I think it's awesome and so does... my father." Adrien cleared his throat as he managed to fix her hat. "Otherwise he wouldn't have picked it for me. Look!"
Putting Marinette's hat on Adrien walked across the dressing room like he was already performing. Striking a few poses to ease Marinette's anxiety. "See?"
It seemed to work as Marinette gave a small smile. "You got that catwalk down," she complimented.
Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. "Really? Thank you."
"Ah-hem," Nathalie cleared her throat. "We have to go." Without waiting for Marinette she turned on her heel and started walking towards the viewing area.
Adrien rolled his eyes but smiled at Marinette's back as she hurried to catch up. Turning back to look at himself in the mirror Adrien scanned his outfit. The suit may have been generic and a few seams too close to last year's entry but Marinette's hat was fire.
"Okay!" Adrien was gonna go out there and make sure they recognized Marinette's talent!
---------------
Holding Marinette's hat to his chest Adrien stuck his head out in a decidedly 'unprofessional' manner. Spotting Marinette's family and a bunch of his friends in the first row. Adrien's blond head caught Nino's eye from across the catwalk and he gave him a thumbs up.
Adrien waved as he ducked back behind the corner before the photographers could take any pictures of the Agreste heir acting like a kid.
You got this, Adrien. Nino's DJ-ing, your classmates came -even though most of them don't care about fashion- with any luck Alix and Kim will tease you about it for the next month.
That would give Adrien the opportunity to dish out a bunch of jokes he never got the chance to use!
The music started; that was his cue.
You got this!
Adrien posed on the runway. Camera flashes already starting. Strutting down the catwalk Adrien smirked at Marinette. See? Stopping at the platform's end he posed in various angles for the photographers. Nino seemed to be enjoying himself too and that made Adrien's smile come much more naturally.
A small eruption boomed behind him and Adrien turned to see Hawkmoth's latest fashion disaster. Gasping, as his heart started hammering in his chest.
"A fashion show without the Queen of Style!? Glitter-ally unacceptable!" The akuma villain announced. "Where's that ungrateful Gabriel Agreste. I demand that he kneels before me!"
Ugh, what has he done now?
"My father isn't here," Adrien snapped in annoyance. Hearing people running for the exits.
"Well, then. If fashion disaster daddy isn't here I'll just have to settle for Agreste Junior! You're fired!"
Adrien's eyes widened as he stepped back. Golden glitter exploding everywhere as his body became numb and his senses dark-
-Glowing ladybugs swirled around him as Adrien had the disorienting feeling of laying  down when he could've sworn he'd been standing. Glancing around, Adrien realized he was now at the Eiffel Tower.
"Adrik- Adrien!" Chloe tackled him as he stood, throwing her arms around him. "I was so scared!"
Adrien blinked in surprise as Chloe set her head on his shoulder. Not letting him go... Adrien smiled as he hugged her back. Enjoying this genuine display of affection.
"Pound it!"
Head snapping towards the sound Adrien saw another Black Cat, this one a girl with long, reddish hair, fist bump Ladybug. They grinned at each other in post battle relief.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
A chill to rival Frozer's ice covered Adrien from head to toe. It was one thing to see Ladybug working with a different Black Cat on the news. Quite another to have his replacement. Three. Frickin. Meters. In front of him!
Chloe didn't notice... Or rather Adrien didn't notice when she'd let go to help her mother. Who tried to fire her own daughter as thanks.
Adrien jerked his eyes away from the superhero duo-
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
-Away from the Miraculous holders and forced himself to listen to whatever the Bourgeois were saying. Ears ringing as Ladybug and the Black Cat talked about something behind him...
"Oh, mom. If only you knew what a great team we made!" Chloe trailed after her mother as they walked down the tower's stairs; attempting to capture her attention. "We fired a bunch of incompetents. It was awesome. We should really spend more time together! What if I went back to New York with you?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Casserole- Eh, Chloe!" Audrey dismissed. "First I have to get back to Gabriel Agreste's fashion show. And they better..."
Adrien's eyes narrowed as he looked down from the railing, his grip on it tightening. Heat from a growing indignation melting the ice he felt. What did she just call Chloe?
"Adrien Agreste, right? I can give you a lift back if you want."
His tensed body jerked in surprise as Adrien realized Ladybug was standing right behind him. Throat and chest constricting as his thoughts whirled. Spots darkened his vision as he felt lightheaded. Adrien's knuckles becoming white, the metal railing digging into his skin. A single thought rose above the ringing in his ears.
I don't wanna talk to her.
Giving his best model smile, Adrien schooled his features. "Ah, thanks but-" he pointed down, "-I should really check on them."
"O-oh! Of course!"
Ladybug's face was out of focus but Adrien could still feel the melancholy in her voice.
Powering past his queasy stomach Adrien made his way to the stairs. The sound of Ladybug's yo-yo whirring reached his ears; signaling her departure. Adrien took a shuddering gasp as he leaned against a metal pillar for support. Body suddenly limp.
Breath accelerating Adrien tried to calm himself. Why was he up here? Had- Had Audrey's blast mind controlled him? Again!? He couldn't breathe.
Adrien sank to his knees as he felt his skin crawl at the idea of that- that- asshole reaching into his mind and taking away his free will. He hated it! He HATED it!
Gasping as his rage broke him out of the panic, Adrien steadied his breathing... He wanted- no, needed to know what happened... Which meant getting up and moving forward... Forcing himself to his feet Adrien wiped the sweat from his brow and followed the others down.
---------------
"Remind me to tell your father to fire the person in charge of the Eiffel Tower elevators..." Audrie panted. "This is... unacceptable... utterly unacceptable!"
"Of course, mom. Oh!" Chloe glanced down to see what she'd stumbled on.
Adrien looked up as he fanned himself with Marinette's hat.
And dropped it.
He stared open mouthed at the small, black, octagonal box in Chloe's hands. Heartbeat leaping into his throat.
What the hell is THAT doing here!?
"Ooh! What's this?" Chloe turned the box around in her hands but didn't open it.
Adrien suddenly forgot his exhaustion and rushed to her side. The lie coming easily to his lips. "Oh, I recognize that! They sell them at antique shops."
"Ew, it's old! Get it away from me!" Chloe practically hurled it at Adrien.
Catching it easily. A thrill ran up Adrien's arms and down his spine as the box made contact with his skin. The hairs at the back of his neck standing on end.
Chloe dusted her hands and kept walking. Glancing nervously at her mother. Hoping Audrey hadn't seen her with something so outdated.
I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! The voice in his head said.
Shut up, Adrien told it as he stared at the unknown Miraculous in his hand. Heartbeat hammering in his chest. But it wasn't from fear. No, it was... anticipation.
The corners of Adrien's lips curled upwards.
------------------------------
Notes: Oh, would you look at that. I'm back! It only took... eight months!
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bqstqnbruin · 4 years
Text
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind
Tumblr media
We’re going to ignore all typos until I have time to fix them, and also ignore the fact that it’s four am and I have a 9 am class, but this was clearly more important.
Shout out to the anon who sent in the idea for the little blurb that I did that I ended up putting in here!
Prepare for the part all of y’all have been wanting! There’s some smut in this, so be warned that it’s not great leave me be. I still hope you like it!
Read the whole series:  I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair // I hate the way you drive my car // I hate it when you stare // I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind // I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme // I hate the way you’re always right // I hate it when you lie // I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry // I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call // But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all
___________________________
“It doesn’t matter if other people think it’s true or not. What matters is that we know it’s true. I love you.”
“Fuck you.” 
--------------------
“So, is there a reason it looks like a vacuum attacked Matthew’s neck in his latest Insta post? Did those appear last weekend when I was gone?” Evelina comes barging into your room, phone in hand. “Damn, you actually picked that outfit out?” 
You look at yourself in the mirror, your hair and makeup finished, the dress you had on for the charity event that Matthew was supposed to pick you up for any minute now. The black, off the shoulder high-low dress fit you perfectly, accenting every feature of your body in just the right way. But still, you weren’t quite sure if it was right. “It looks ok?” you ask her, going to your closet to find a pair of shoes to wear. 
“If you didn’t fuck each other after destroying each others necks while I was gone, you’re going to tonight.” Wiping around, you can’t help but glare at her. You did not love Matthew. But then, why did you have to keep reminding yourself about that. “Hey, I have until you finish the list to keep this up, let me live.” 
You were about to fire something back at her when you hear Matthew’s voice call from the living room. “We’re in Y/N’s room!” Evelina answers for you.
“You really abuse that key,” you say, not taking your eyes away from your closet as you try to find shoes to wear. You weren’t ready to look at him just yet. “Ev, help me find the right shoes!” 
She gets up as you hear Matthew sitting on your bed, the creak of the frame sending a shiver down your spine. “What about these?” she asks, holding up a pair of heels.
You scrunch up your face, telling her to find another option. “How does he look?” you whisper, just loud enough for her to hear.
She smiles at you, handing you another pair of shoes, “I think you need to look for yourself.” 
You put on the shoes, refusing to turn around until the last minute. You almost didn’t want to see what he looked like, but you turn to him anyway. The second you look at each other, you both stop breathing. He gets up from your bed, slowly, making his way to you while Evelina was watching off to the side. He looked perfect. The suit was fitting him just the right way, the tie in your favorite color to match the necklace you were wearing, his hair in a flawless mess, the curls going everywhere yet looking pristine at the same time. 
He couldn’t find the words to say to you, taking your hands in his as he scanned your entire body. “W-wow,” he stammers out, swallowing hard as he tries to make any sound. “You look,” he starts, not knowing what word could accurately describe how incredible he found you, “Wow.” 
You look down at your hands, intertwining your fingers in his. Everything about holding his hands just felt right. You look up at him, his blue eyes sparkling even in the shitty lighting of your bedroom. “Wow yourself,” you tell him, unable to fight the smile on your face, or control your breathing for that matter. 
You stood there standing for what felt like forever, until you were interrupted by Evelina clearing her throat, a smirk on her face. “Don’t you two need to get going?”
“Uh, yeah,” you say, breaking away, embarrassed that she just saw that. If she thought you loved him before, that would confirm it now. But you didn’t love him. You didn’t even like him. You had a list of things you hated about him, even if there were only four things on it. 
“Are you going to be alright in those shoes tonight?” he asks, looking down at the heels Evelina had picked out for you. 
“It’s not like Ev here would let me wear these,” you say, holding up your black, beat up combat boots. You hear her fake gag behind you, throwing them in her direction and purposefully missing so that you don’t break anything of yours.
“Those would ruin the look,” Matthew says, both of you looking shocked that words like that would even come out of him. “Actually, Ev,” he says, changing the subject and finally tearing his eyes away from you, “Elias wanted me to ask you something, privately?” he lies.
You and Evelina exchange glances before you leave your room. Elias has Evelina’s number, why didn’t he just ask her?
“What’s up?” she asks, sitting down on your bed, Matthew sitting next to her. He lets out a low groan, putting his face in his hands. “Y/N looks flawless,” he says, pain in his voice. 
“So what are you going to do about it?” she asks, pulling him up. “You both love each other. I know you know that. This whole list thing is ridiculous. She looks great, you look great, act,” she instructs him.
“I have tired. I can’t even kiss her on the lips without some sort of interruption. I can’t control that!” he whines, trying not to get too loud incase you were within ear shot. He’s wanted to do more than just kiss you this entire time. He’s flat out told you that and you somehow still missed the message. “How is it she’s so smart, yet so oblivious?” 
Evelina shrugs, pulling him up off the bed, “People who are book smart never have common sense, bub. I’ve been telling her she loves you since you two met. She doesn’t even listen to me.”
“This is hopeless,” he says, practically throwing himself back on your bed. 
“Nope, get up,” Evelina says, pulling him back up. Matthew nearly stumbles over and onto the floor, not expecting her to be as strong as she was. “Look, she only has four things on the list,” she explains, “I told you the first night, if she really hated you, she would have more than that. You still have two and a half weeks.” 
He looks at her, biting his lip and nodding as the two of them go out to find you waiting on the couch. “Ready to go?” he asks, putting his hand out for you. 
You get up, Evelina’s eyes going wide and her mouth falling open. “Wait, you left something in my room, Y/N,” she says, dragging you there. She closes the door behind you, “You’re not wearing underwear!” she tries hard not to scream. 
“It would show under the dress!” you try to protest, heat rushing to your cheeks.
“I have worn a dress much tighter than that and you couldn’t see mine,” she provokes you, her eyes gleaming, knowing that she was right.
“I have to go,” you sing to her, trying to get past her. 
“Admit it!” she yells as you run towards Matthew, taking him by the hand and dragging him out the door. 
“Bye, love you!” “I hate you!” 
You practically run Matthew to his car, praying that Evelina wasn’t following the two of you. “Do you want to talk about what that was just then?”
“I borrowed one of her shirts and haven’t given it back because I got a stain on it and haven’t done laundry yet,” you spit out the lie. There was no way you would tell Matthew that you weren’t wearing anything underneath the dress. Not yet. “So, uh,” you start to change the subject, “What is this event again?”
“Something with the organization and the season ticket holders? It’s fancy and I was told to wear game day clothes, so, here we are.”
You look at him for a moment, your eyes tracing his jawline like when you went to the liquor store. “You clean up really nicely, Rat Man,” you say, “You look really good.” 
He smiles with the left side of his face so you can’t see it. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” he tells you, wishing he could figure out the proper words to say what he really thought. “Excited for tonight?”
“Yeah, it’ll be nice to see the guys not drunk at a bar.”
“Right because seeing them drunk in a ballroom is better.” You both laugh, leaving the two of you in a comfortable silence as your phone buzzes with texts from Evelina.
‘This means you love him!’
‘No it does not. Who says I have to wear underwear under a dress?’
‘You never go without underwear. Admit you love him.’
‘I don’t love him.’
‘Do you like him?’ 
You take a minute to think, looking up from your phone to see Matthew watching the road. Like and love are two different things. You liked Elias, but did you like him in the same way you liked Matthew? Did you like anyone in the way you liked Matthew? ‘Sure.’ You roll your eyes as you hit send when Matthew finally puts the car in park. You didn’t even realize you were at the venue. Matthew gets out of the car, practically running to the passenger side to open the door and help you out. With your arm linked with his, you head inside, “Who would have thought you could be such a gentleman?” you tease. 
“Only for you, babe,” he says, sending a wink your way before dropping your arm to greet some of his teammates. “I’m going to get us some drinks?” he says, leaving you before asking you what you wanted. 
You wander around, finding Elias and making conversation with him while you wait for Matthew to come back. You had wanted a vodka sour, but would he come back with that?
“You look amazing, Y/N,” Elias starts, a smile on his face not unlike the one Matthew normally gives you. 
You feel yourself blushing at his comments, unable to hide the heat that was showing in your cheeks, “You look pretty great, too.” 
“Maybe at some point tonight, you’ll save a dance for me?” he asks, moving closer to you. This was the teammate that you’ve had a slight crush on since you met Matthew, so why didn’t you feel the same way with him as you did with Matthew? His hand reaches for your waist, but you move away from him, giving him an innocent smile before turning to see Matthew standing behind you with a drink in each hand.
He tried to hide the pain he felt watching Elias flirt with you. He knew you liked his teammate, and it was clear that Elias was seeing something in you that he hadn’t seen before. But you smile at Matthew, one very different from the one you had given his teammate. A real, genuine smile that reached your eyes. Matthew knew you felt the same way about him as he did about you from that, he just didn’t know if you knew. “Vodka sour for my girl,” he says, handing you the drink you had wanted.
You feel your knees buckle ever so slightly at the sound of hearing Matthew call him your girl, taking your free hand in his, intertwining your fingers. You immediately felt a warmth rushing through you as he gave you a soft smile, taking a sip of drink before starting a conversation with Elias. You start to look around at everyone surrounding you. The dance floor was crowded, you itching to get out there with Matthew. You both finish your drinks, probably too fast, but who cared? “Hey, can we go dance?” you ask Matthew before turning to Elias, “I don’t think you’ll be able to pry my from my guy tonight, Lindy, but if he lets you, I guess you can try.”
You drag him out to the dancefloor, your hands never losing connection as he looks back and smirks at Elias. The look on his face tells Matthew that this was intentional, whatever plan he had concocted working as a slow song came on. Matthew used his free hand to pull you in by the waist, your other hand on his shoulder as you swayed to the rhythm of the music. 
Your mind starts running free as you think about dance, Matthew chuckling before letting out, “You know something about the history of dance, don’t you?”
“How would you know I know that?” you ask him, shocked that he read your mind for a second time tonight.
He shrugs, spinning you away from him before bringing you close, his front pressed against you back as he whispered, “It just sounds like something you would know.” He spins you back around so you’re facing each other, him beaming down at you. “Go ahead,” he teases you.
“It’s specific towards Canada, is that ok with you?”
He leans down, his curls tickling your face, “Anything you say to me is fine.” 
“The first written record of dance in Canada,” you start, “was by Jacques Cartier in the 1530s. He described a group of Indigenous people dancing in modern day Quebec, but it’s obviously likely that this was going on way before he encountered them.” Matthew pulls you in closer, still moving with the music as you rest your head on his shoulder. He plants a soft, long kiss on your head as you continue. “Because of the idea 'assimilate or exterminate,’ where these Indigenous people had to either change their culture to fit that of the European settlers, or risk their culture being destroyed in its entirety, their practices of dance declined until the late 1990s when groups began investing more time into preserving these sacred dances as part of Aboriginal and Canadian culture.”
You lift your head off his shoulder as he starts kissing your neck, everyone around you disappearing as you felt his lips connect with your bare skin. “Europeans settlers brought their own forms of dance to the country, eventually infusing together to create new forms. Famous dancers like Martha Graham, Anna Pavlova and Ruth St. Denis started touring the United States and Canada, leaving their own imprint on the culture.” 
He lifts his head, his forehead against yours. You could feel him grow hard the more you talked, his dick pressed against you as you stifled a moan. “Modern dance got its start in Canada nearly a decade before ballet,” you say, Matthew kissing your forehead before connecting his back to yours, “In the 1940s, Montreal became the central hub for modern dance, and stayed that way for a while. Ballet came about in a professional manner, companies developing their own identities before performing and going onto the world stage.”
The song changes and you stop moving. Staring at each other, you finish, “All of it comes together into the dance we know today.”
“Y/N,” Matthew starts, obviously staring at your lips. He wanted to kiss you. He didn’t care that his entire team was around him; he didn’t notice anyone there but you. 
You don’t know what to say to him. You take your hands off his shoulders, cupping his face. His grip tightens around your waist, a confused look of his face. 
‘Fuck it,’ you think to yourself, just like you did the other day. Your lips connect with his, everything around you melting away as you moved in sync with each other. His tongue swipes your bottom lip, begging to enter your mouth, you gladly letting him. You can feel him smiling as his hands move up your back, your hands falling down to his chest. You pull away, both of you breathing slightly unevenly. Why did you just do that? You weren’t upset that you did, but why did you just do that?
“Wow,” he whispers to you, kissing you softly again. 
“Wow is right,” you let out. 
“Hey, uh, Matty?” you hear Elias’ voice behind you. You pull away from each other, both of you slightly embarrassed that he, along with everyone else, probably just saw that. “We’re trying to do a team photo,” he says, looking like he was trying to stifle a laugh or something. 
Matthew swallows, nodding and dropping his hands from your body. “I’ll find you later,” he reassures you before leaving. 
You try to catch your breath as you run to find your phone. ‘SOS’ you text Evelina, praying that she was looking at her phone and not already asleep.
‘What?’
Your fingers hover over the screen of your phone. Do you tell her what just happened? You tell her everything, so why would you leave this out? 
‘I have another thing to add to the list’
‘This list needs to be electronic so I don’t have to get out of bed every time you think of something new’
‘Do you want to know or not’
‘Duh’
‘The way he reads my mind’
‘That’s dumb, but fine. Are you at least having fun?’
‘Yeah.’ You put your phone away before you can say anything else to her. If she found out you kissed each other - no, if she found out you kiss him, she would have a field day. You would never hear the end of it, list or not. All you had to do was rejoin the event and hope you could find Matthew.
Staying off the side, watching the event unfold, you couldn’t find him anywhere. There was something fun about seeing all the guys and their wives and girlfriends dressed up like they were, whatever photo they were doing clearly taken. The season ticket holders and management looked good, even though you had no idea who any of them were. 
“Hey,” you hear a man’s voice say to you, taking you out of the trance as you fixated on Johnny and Meridith, admiring the way they looked at each other while they were dancing. If they were back out on the dance floor, Matthew had to be following suit soon, right? “I’m Reggie.” He sticks out his hand, you smiling at him to shake it as you introduce yourself. “So, are you here with someone, or are you a ticket holder?”
“I’m here with one of the guys,” you say, trying to see if you can find him anywhere. Something about this guy wasn’t quite right, and you really prayed for an out from talking with him. 
“Really? Which one?”
“Me,” you hear Matthew’s voice say, his arms wrapping around you as you feel your shoulders relax. “Thanks for keeping my girl company.” Reggie just nods and smiles, walking away and leaving the two of you in the position you were in. Matthew holds you tighter, your hands reaching up to touch his. “You are the most beautiful girl here,” he whispers.
“You’re just saying that,” you tell him, feeling his breath on your neck as he lets out a sigh. “What if I said you were the most handsome guy here?” 
He freezes, swallowing hard and thankful that he was behind you so you couldn’t see the grin covering his face. Calling you his girl was something he said just to get the guy away, but after that comment, after that kiss, there was nothing more he wanted than to call you that and mean it. “What if we get out of here?” he whispers, kissing you between your shoulder blades. 
A chill runs down your shine as he kisses along your back, moving your hair to your shoulder as you can’t help but let out a low moan, “Matthew.” 
He moves his way up your neck, ending at your ear, “Come on. Do you want to go somewhere more private?” he whispers before his teeth connect with your earlobe. You didn’t expect that to do what it did to you. 
When he pulls away, you turn to him, mirroring the smile on his face. “Where did you have in mind?”
“Is it too early to leave?” you ask him, running your hands down his chest. 
“I’m ready if you are, babe,” he says, kissing you softly on your lips yet again. God, he hoped this was the start of something. Knowing what this was like, he could only imagine what more would be. 
He takes your hand, leading you back out to his car. You look back over your shoulder before leaving the building, out of sheer curiosity as to whether or not anyone saw you. You make eye contact with Elias, who winks, raising his glass in the air to you as the two of you disappear through the door. “Your place or mine?” he asks as the two of you practically sprinted to his car. Given what you were both sure was about to happen, he answers his own question, “Mine, got it.” 
You couldn’t concentrate the entire way to his place, thinking about what this was going to be like. You both wanted it and didn’t. You didn’t love him. You couldn’t love him. Evelina was in no way right about you being in love with each other. You just were both horny, right? That’s all it was?
Matthews hands don’t leave your body once you get out of the car. Whatever cameras were around the lobby of his building, the elevator, the hallway leading to his door caught everything. He was kissing you passionately, as if doing this was something that he had been waiting for. His hands gripped your butt, so tight that you had to hold back a scream of pleasure as he sucked away at your neck, something he seemed to like doing more than you expected. 
You were surprised your clothes were even still on by the time you get to his door. You could only imagine how red and bruised your neck was, the handprints that had to be left on your ass from him, your mind going blank as you were sure you would regret anything. 
You practically rip off his suit jacket, both of you impatient to get everything off each other. “Are you sure you’re ok with this?” he stops, his hands on the zipper of your dress as you bounced up and down, dripping with anticipation.
“All you have to do is take off the dress,” you tell him, his eyes going wide.
He swallows hard, “N-nothing underneath?” he asks you. That would mean that you were expecting something to happen tonight, right? Or did it mean nothing? He really hoped it meant the first thing. 
“Yes, take it off, come on,” you whine. 
He does as you ask, his lips connecting with yours, simultaneously taking off your dress and leaving it in the hallway while you unbutton his shirt and leave it there with it. You were down to nothing as he threw you on the bed, him rushing to take his pants off to climb on top of you. You spread your legs for him as he climbs on top off you, kissing you from your hip bone up to your mouth. “You’re really sure?” he asks you, in a quiet voice.
You nod, taking his face in your hands, “I’m sure,” you say before he kisses you again. You give him all the access he wants, the tip of his dick rubbing against your already wet opening, teasing you as you whined for him, “Fuck me, Matty.”
“I will, baby,” he says, pushing his hips against yours as he enters inside you. 
You spend the night, both of you kissing, whining, moaning, begging for each other, everything you had ever imagined with any other guy, you were doing with Matthew. You didn’t want it to be anyone else.
You were so busy, so hungry for everything Matthew had to offer, you didn’t know your phone was buzzing, texts from Evelina flooding your phone.
‘Where are you????’
‘You were supposed to be home by now.’
‘Why isn’t your phone location updating? Elias said you guys left hours ago.’
‘Please tell me you’re ok.’
358 notes · View notes
thesquidkid · 3 years
Text
Lately I've been feeling so alone
Based of this post by @milady-bugg, thank you for letting me use it as inspiration for a fic 😁
This is sadder than intended, and full of Michael Guerin feels, hope you'll enjoy! This is also quite long (5.4k lmao), so you can read it on AO3 if you prefer.
Michael had isolated himself in his bunker, not letting anyone - even Sanders - in. At first, there were a few knocks, the door opening a few times and each time, Michael would slam it shut with his powers. He needed to process. It was one thing, to know that you were the son of a monster, another to face the man as he gave his own son a heart attack. Father of the year, right here!
So Michael had isolated himself between 4 walls, literally underground, where he could let all his anger free without hurting anyone. But the others couldn’t really understand that, and he couldn’t blame them. So everyone went on to live their lives, do what they were good at.
Isobel and Rosa were looking for Max, searching every cave, every abandoned house, turning every stone, using Rosa’s new found ability. Liz was making sure Maria stayed stable and healthy, her state hadn’t really decreased, but it hadn’t improved either. Whatever was going on, she seemed to continue the fight. Because Maria DeLuca was her own saviour, every damn time.
Michael didn’t have any news of Alex, just that he had found Kyle and that he was safe. He had hesitated calling Alex a few times, to compare notes on shitty father, but that wouldn’t have been fair to Alex, the person who tried every damn day to distance himself from his father, to fix what he broke, to be a better man.
So Michael was alone, in his bunker, with Sanders coming in every once in a while to complain that Michael wasn’t working, but both knew it was just an excuse to check up on him, make sure he was doing fine.
And really, he was. After the initial shock of finding out that his father was a copy of his brother (really, all those times Max had played his father, it was just in his DNA), where he completely and utterly lost it, he was now in a much calmer headspace. He had repositioned all the furniture that had been thrown against the walls, had done some extensive cleaning and given back a few tools and random parts he found to Sanders.
Although, he was still feeling empty. Had emptied his entire body, crying, shouting, wanting to break stuff with his powers, but knowing that if he did he would have to replace it somehow. And he was still broke. So he had to figure out another way of letting his emotions free, that didn’t involve breaking the little stuff he owned, and regretting it.
Instead, he focused on what he was good at. Had put all of the alien tech he had on the main workspace, fiddling with it at first, letting his hand move freely on it, feeling the way the tech reacted to him. From then, he realised that he still didn’t completely know what the tech could do, had assumed it was only part of the ship, but the recent events, with Kyle’s radio and Jones’ sword, he was getting curious as to what he could do, with his imagination and mechanical skills.
This is where it all started, with the alien glass and his tools, letting his hands move as they desired, his mind still busy thinking about - well, everything that happened in the last few days, from Jones being his father, to Max maybe still nearly dying, to Maria being in a coma, and to Alex being God knows where doing God knows what.
As he thought about his friends, his family, his people, his fingers were doing something similar. This is how he found himself, after three days in the bunker, barely sleeping, not at all in contact with the outside world - only going out to take a shower, get some food, and use the toilet in the airstream - with a bunch of glass objects, clearly designed for his friends, and not knowing what to do with all of it. Well, he knew, but that meant going out and seeing them, their faces, probably full of pity, no one knowing how to address the elephant in the room - Jones.
He was building up the courage to get out and gift his creations as peace offering, or whatever they wanted them to be, when he was disturbed by a knock on the latch, then it opened, followed by a very familiar voice that he didn’t expect to hear any time soon.
“Look, Guerin, I get that you want to be alone right now, and uh, yeah -” Alex Manes said, passing a hand across the face, fighting the want to jump down that ladder, understanding more than anyone what being the son of a monster felt like, and even then, neither of their experiences were comparable. “I’m just here to tell you that, ah, Maria woke up, and uh, she’ll be staying in the hospital for a little longer, so uh, yeah that’s what I came here to say.” he finished, and stood up from where he was crouching above the opened latch, looking down in the bunker but not seeing more than the ladder and light. He could also slightly distinguish Michael’s shadow, glowing under all the lights he guessed were alien.
Michael thought Alex had left, and nearly closed the latch using his powers, when he heard the last few words, barely a whisper, but clear as day to him. And he knew that Alex knew that he heard them. “I’m here. If you ever want to talk, or whatever. I’m here for you, Michael.” And with that, Alex left, understanding the peace of being alone with your thoughts, and knowing that Michael would come out whenever he was ready to.
And he was ready to come out. Soon after he heard Alex’s car leave the junkyard, he rushed to his airstream to take a shower and change clothes, taking with him the glass object he had made for Maria. When Sanders saw him leave the airstream, showered, dressed in clothes that hadn’t been worn the past three days, smiling, he couldn’t stop the teasing comment, “If I knew getting your boy here would get you out, I’d have done it long ago.” Despite the comment, he was glad that Michael was feeling better, and even more glad to hear the “Not my boy. Maria’s awake,” that came from Michael as he drove away, leaving Sanders in the junkyard, a smile on his face. The kid was starting to realise that family wasn’t the blood coursing through your veins, but the people you choose to surround yourself with. He hoped Ms. Nora would be proud of her boy, wherever she was.
Michael drove to the hospital at a respectable speed, not wanting to get arrested the day Maria woke up - she would never stop making fun of him about it. He nearly ran towards her room, stopping only at the open door, taking in the people in the room. Liz was at the foot of Maria’s bed, holding a board with papers clipped to it - most likely Maria’s health results - talking with her hands, a large smile on her face. Rosa was sitting on the bed, next to Liz, exchanging side smiles with Maria, her entire body more relaxed than she had been since Maria’s coma. Isobel was standing to the side of the room, leaning against the wall, facing the door. She was the first to see Michael, making him smile back, and promising her to talk and hang out, by their psychic bond. Finally, he turned his eyes to the head of Maria’s bed, where the two Manes men who had gone against their father were sitting, Greg leaning against the back of the chair, a hand holding Maria’s and the other going up and down on her arm in a reassuring sign, Alex on the other side sitting with his elbows on his knees, chin resting on one hand, apparently the only one truly listening to what Liz had to say.
He cleared his throat, not knowing how else to announce his presence. “Mikey!” came the synchronised shout from the Orthecho sisters, “what took you so long, dude? We texted you ages ago!” Rosa teasingly asked, Michael not bothering with an answer and simply sticking his tongue out to her, earning him a roll of the eyes from Liz and Isobel, a full on laugh from Rosa and a slight chuckle from Alex.
“How you feeling, DeLuca?” he started to ask, his voice clear with worry, but remembering many of their conversations, he continued with something he knew she would prefer to him worrying too much, “I might check out some other bar if you stay out of the game for too long.”
And he seemed to have been right, as Maria giggled and stood up straighter, “Oh I’m not too worried you’ll be right back at the Pony in no time Guerin,” she said smiling at him, which Michael copied. “And,” she added, pointing her finger in his direction, “you still owe me 15,09 bucks, don’t think I’ve forgotten.”
Michael shook his head, of course she wouldn’t forget the drinks he had during the last year that he hasn’t yet repaid in services. Since it was the pandemic, they both didn’t have much money so they agreed that whatever drinks he ordered would be paid back in free car or bar maintenance, and vice versa. As if they weren’t already cutting deals for each other.
Feeling all eyes on him, especially since he had gone AWOL for the last three days, Michael cleared his throat once more and took a few hesitant steps towards Maria, ignoring everyone in the room but her. “I, uh, made you something?” he said, cursing himself mentally for making it sound like a question, “here,” he put his hand in his jacket pocket and took out four little alien glass hairpins, ‘it’s alien glass, I thought you might like them.”
He looked at her to see some tears in her eyes as she took the hairpins and observed them in her hands. “They’re, Michael, those are amazing ,” she said with so much sincerity that Michael was taken aback by it, “Thank you.” she added with a smile.
In the end Michael sat on the floor against the wall, listening closely to Maria talking about what had happened with Jones. He felt at ease, surrounded by his friends, still feeling the weight of Kyle and Max missing, but everyone enjoying this small light in what had felt like a week of pure darkness.
Being with Maria, giving them his creation, had given him the courage to talk to the others, and hand them their gifts. He went to see Liz, one day, as she was still in Kyle’s office, observing scans of Maria’s brain. He pointedly ignored those pictures, deciding that he wasn’t going to think of what his father could have done to Maria and her brain, knowing the guilt he would feel if he did. Instead he stood in front of Liz and handed her two teardrop earrings made out of alien glass.
She stopped in the middle of her sentence, and stared up at Michael who smiled awkwardly, her mouth agape as she took in the beauty of the jewelry. “Mikey, wow, I - I don’t know what to say.” she said, looking back and forth between the earrings and Michael.
“It’s nothing, Ortecho, really, I had glass laying around and -” he started to say but was interrupted by Liz. “Thank you.” she nearly shouted, standing up and bending him in a tight embrace, which he returned gladly. He then held up Liz’s phone as a mirror as she put them on and admired herself, making both of them laugh, before reality caught up, and they both needed to focus on Max, Kyle, and Maria. Liz kept the earrings the entire day, and wears them on any occasion she can, the alien colorful glass going with a multitude of clothing combinaisons.
The next person Michael gave a present to was Rosa. She was at the junkyard to train her powers when he surprised her with alien windchimes. He quickly used his powers to hang them up while she had her eyes closed and let the wind do the rest of the work. She opened her eyes in admiration of whatever sound she had heard and turned towards the source of it. “Woa,” she said under her breath as she walked slowly towards them, until finally touching them with her hands, letting the windchimes sing under her fingers, the alien glass slightly reacting.
“You made those?” she asked, turning around to Michael. He nodded, smiling, feeling quite proud of his work. “The sound they make,” continued Rosa, turning once again to look at the windchimes, Michael walking closer to her, “it’s - I don’t think I can compare it to anything.” He nodded once more, encouraging Rosa to continue, “It’s like a melody. I can hear the wind, but it’s different, it’s beautiful.”
She leaned against Michael who was now standing slightly behind her, Michael instinctively putting her arm around her shoulders, the two of them standing in the middle of the junkyard, admiring the alien glass windchimes Michael had made for Rosa. She would come buy the junkyard many times, listening at the way the wind circled through the windchimes, admiring their beauty.
After that it all happened really quickly; Rosa and Isobel found Max, Michael and Liz had been called to the rescue (Jones had apparently regained his body and vanished), followed by Kyle waking up, Greg and Maria rushing to some ranch in the middle of nowhere to get Kyle and Alex. Eventually, all this craziness died down for a bit, Max was hiding in Alex’s cabin in the woods, since Jones had used his body to commit crimes, he couldn’t really go grocery shopping without getting arrested, and Kyle had regained his job at the hospital. Michael seriously wondered how he hadn’t been fired yet, but he wasn’t complaining, at least someone in their group seemed to know what he was doing with his life.
He made his way back to the hospital, except this time to see the one person he swore he would never visit as a kid. A doctor. But not just any doctor, a doctor who was quickly becoming a good friend of his, which he obviously wasn’t going to admit. He walked in the corridors, knowing the place quite well by now, and knocked on Kyle’s office door. A tired “Come in” answered and he opened the door.
As soon as Kyle saw who was on the other side of the door, he groaned and nearly snapped, thinking that maybe now would be the time to get a new group of friends that didn’t have alien emergencies every four hours. Michael must’ve sensed what Kyle was about to say (something along the lines “I don’t care that the world is burning because of some alien invasion, I need sleep! And no, a coma doesn’t count.”) because he raised his hands in surrender, a smug smile on his face.
“Relax, no alien life or death situations, or at least not that I know of.” This had the expected effect, Kyle relaxed in his chair, crossed his arms on his chest and raised an eyebrow at Michael, silently asking him why he was here then. Michael closed the door behind him and sat opposite Kyle, on one of the patients chairs. Still smiling, he took out of his pocket two glass paperweights that he delicately put on the desk for Kyle to grab, just as delicately.
Kyle was silent as he turned the paperweights between his hands, admiring all the different angles, reflecting his desk light on the walls and papers he had on his desk. While Kyle was busy, Michael slowly put his hand in his other jacket pocket and took out a glass snow globe with a little cardboard UFO, two little plastic aliens, and pink fake snow. He put it on the desk and waited for Kyle to notice, after having put the paper weights on top of two small piles he had.
When he saw the snow globe, his face lit up with astonishment, and he looked up to Micheal, once again speechless. “I know what it’s like to see a doctor as a kid and being scared,” Michael said, not looking at Kyle but at the little snowball, “and I know it’s not the same, but uh-”
“I’m sure the kids will love it, Michael.” Kyle said, honestly. He took the globe and shook it, chuckling at the way the UFO dangled, the way the little Aliens wiggled and the way the pink snow fell on everything. “Thank you.”
Michael shrugged, “Consider it payback,” he said, with a sincere smile this time, “for all the times you saved our asses.” And with that, he stood up, waved awkwardly at Kyle (who waved back just as awkwardly) and left.
Kyle took care of the paperweights, who in reality weren’t so heavy, but never broke as they fell. All the kids that came by his office would stare at the little snow globe, admiring it, feeling calmer and safer during their appointment.
Isobel called Michael over the next day. She said she wanted to go shopping for Max, since he was stuck away and was getting bored (how he had already read all the books Alex gave him, was a mystery to Michael, but he supposed when there really wasn’t anything else to do…)
Michael ran on her doorbell and let himself in, using his powers to unlock the door. He made his way to the living room and sat on the couch, looking at the decorations of Isobel’s walls. This house felt more homey than the one she had shared with Noah, there were paintings on the walls he knew Rosa had made, a few old and useless metallic pieces he had turned into sculptures and decorations laying around in various places. But what was really different was the huge bookshelf, books varying from science fiction (for Michael), to inspiring novels (for Isobel) to fantasy and romantic (for Max), indicating that this wasn’t just her home for her, but that her brothers were welcomed here too.
Michael put on the table the necklace he had made, the pendant made out of alien glass and the chain from some silver he had laying around the junkyard, and waited for Isobel to come out. When she did, she smiled at Michael and sat next on his left, facing him. “Okay, so I’ve been thinking, and our brother isn’t really the best cook so -”, she started to say, but cut herself as she saw what was on the table.
She grabbed the necklace between her fingers, and looked to Michael, who was leaning against the couch, an arm slung over it, a bright smile on his face. He winked at her, when he saw that Isobel was looking at him, and she leaned against him, her heard on his shoulder, Michael folding his arm around her.
“It’s beautiful, Michael,” Isobel said, emotions strong in her voice, “thank you.” Mihael rubbed his hand on her shoulder, not really knowing what to say, but wanting her to know that he would always be there.
Isobel wiggled the necklace in front of his face, Michael taking it with a chuckle as he attached it around her neck. The two of them stayed like that, leaning their heads against each other, in silence, in peace. Eventually, Isobel stood up, hurrying Michael out the door and into his truck to go shopping for Michael. And if they were a bit later than what they had told Max, arriving with humid eyes, no one made a comment about it, Max glad to have some company and more books to read.
Michael went back to see Max at least once a day, staying for a few hours or a couple of minutes, always checking in. The two had a lot to talk about, especially the elephant in the room - Max being a clone of Michael’s father.
Michael found himself enjoying those little brotherly moments, and more so the one after they had done the whole Jones subject. Michael would make a few comments about Liz staying in Roswell, to which Max would respond with questions about Alex.
“You know,” said Max on the third day Michael came when they were sitting around a fire pit, enjoying a few beers, after Michael had strongly avoided any topic about Alex, while also admitting to having some feelings (which Max knew of already, subtility wasn’t Michael’s - and Alex’s - strong suit), “this is the first time you and I have talked about dumb highschool crushed together.”
Michael chuckled at that, a hint of sadness that Max quickly brushed, “Hey no, the past is the past man, I’m just saying that I’m glad we’re finally talking, you know? Feels like we’re finally not hiding stuff.” And Michael raised his beer bottle at that. It was indeed the first time that they were both completely open, no more secret. They both were at fault on that, but as Max had said, the past was the past, no point reminiscing, when you could focus on making the future better.
With those thoughts in mind, he took out of his pocket an alien glass bolo tie with little turquoise end caps on the ties, and handed it to Max, who took it. They were both hypnotised by the way the flames reflected on the glass, the way the colors seemed to dance in the night.
Max didn’t say anything, didn’t have too. He put his beer on the floor next to him, stood up and motioned to Michael to do the same. Once they were both standing, facing each other, they hugged deeply, strongly. In the end, all the other bolo ties Max owned got mostly replaced by this one, being worn at every occasion he could, always with his brother in mind.
Michael had two more presents to offer, and was sitting in his bunker, not knowing how to approach either of the people they were made for. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to figure one out, as the person in question opened the latch and climbed down the stairs with a grunt. “Kid,” came Sander’s voice as soon as his feet reached the ground, “think you can use that brain of yours to build a lift here? Getting too old for this.”
“Well no one is forcing you to come, old man,” Michael replied, although there was no true bite to it. In fact, he quite enjoyed the old man’s occasional visits, even if all he did was complain. Michael turned around to face him, “Everything all good up there?” he asked, wondering why Sanders had come down. Sanders just nodded at him and took the last steps for him to arrive at Michael’s level, leaning his hands on the workspace. “What you working on, kid?”
“Uhm, actually -” started Michael, now that Sanders was here, might as well give him the present, right? “I got something for you.”
Using his powers, he approached a little metallic sunflower he had made from scrap pieces found here and there in the junkyard, and had made the center out of alien glass. The whole thing was attached to a chain to be held up against the door to Sanders house.
Sanders grabbed the sunflower and looked at it intensely with his good eye, remembering the colors Ms Nora’s creations were, seeing them once again on that little sunflower. Neither said anything, nor made a step forward to hug, neither being used to physical comfort, but they both knew how much that gesture meant.
To Michael, it meant acceptance, family, a sunflower for all the sunflowers they grew at the junkyard over the pandemic. To Sanders, it meant pride, it meant having kept his promise to Ms Nora to take care of his son, it meant family.
The sunflower was attached by Sanders' door, the alien glass glowing under the desert sun, always turning to face it, like all the many sunflowers they had in their field.
Which led Michael to one last gift. And if he was being honest with himself, the one he dreaded the most. Also the one that took him the most time and the most research. A gift for Alex. Taking his courage in both hands, he sent a quick text to Alex before he could have any chance to doubt himself. Free right now? I think I might take you up on your offer.
He didn’t have long to wait, as his phone buzzed almost immediately, On my way. Be there in 30 . He rushed back to his airstream, ignoring once more Sanders’ comment about getting ready for his boy , to get changed and put beers in the fridge. He opened the door of the airstream just as he heard Alex’s car arrive, and sat on one of the chairs, two bears in hand, while he made his way over. Alex sat on a chair next to him, accepting the beer, in silence.
“I heard you were busy while in your underground lair, judging by the gifts I’ve been seeing pop up.” Alex said with a smile, taking a sip of his beer, turning his head to look at Michael.
Michael frowned his eyebrows, “I thought you were busy out of town?” he asked, barely stopping the bite from escaping his lips. Alex looked sheepishly away from Michael at that, “I’ve been trying to not distance myself too much,” she shrugged, his tone lowering, until being a simple whisper at the end, “to not drive myself crazy.” He shivered at whatever thought was going through his mind, then straightened his body and looked up to Michael, “Anyway, you said you’d take me up on my offer, I’m assuming you want to talk?” he asked, forcing a smile that Michael didn’t buy.
“The hell is going on with you, Alex?” Michael asked, with a bit too much force that he immediately took back at Alex’s defeated look, “First you tell me you’d burn down the world for me, then that you don’t want me anywhere you or whatever, and then you end up finding Kyle in some creepy farm, which might I add is the exact same farm you got stabbed in .” He took a breath, and continued, “So yeah, Alex, I want to talk, I want you to tell me what’s going on with you.” He stopped at looked at Alex, who didn’t really seem like he wanted to say anything, so he lowered his voice, taking back all the bite and anger he could, channeling how much he cared and worried about Alex, “You said you were there for me, it’s a two way street you know. I’m here for you too.”
That seemed to do the trick, as Alex’s teary eyes met Michael’s, who wanted nothing more that to wipe his thumb across his cheeks, to take away the fear and the pain he could see in those eyes. But he didn’t, they weren't there yet.
Alex took a deep, shaky breath and told Michael everything, from quitting the Air Force (getting a discharge with full honors, Michael could tell the pride in his voice as the last ten years of Alex’s hadn’t been totally useless), to joining Deep Sky, to the Lockhart machine, to his boss not being who he said he was, to discovering that the Lockhart machine had driven people crazy, to the reason he had been recruited by deep sky. After his explanations, he fell quiet, looking at Michael, not truly knowing what to expect.
What he didn’t expect however, was for Michael to get up hastily, move the airstream and rush to his lair, leaving Alex sitting on his chair, a half empty bottle of beer in one hand, tears in his eyes. But Michael came back, just as fast as he had left, holding some piece of alien tech mixed with metal in his hands. It took a moment for Alex to register what that object was, and once he did, he widened his already teary eyes in surprise, his mouth was slightly agape, his eyebrows were frowned, as he searched for the words to express his confusion, not wanting to get his hopes high. On the other hand, there wasn’t a multitude of people Michael could’ve made an alien prosthetic leg for.
Michael approached slowly with the leg in his hands, handing it to Alex once he was close enough. “I uh- I made you this.” he said, clearing his throat, while Alex was examining the leg, “It’ uh, lighter than the one you have now, but it’s also more resistant and, well, you could really bludgeon someone with it, if uh - if you wanted to.”
Alex kept looking at the leg, not saying anything, which Michael interpreted as him not being interested. “You don’t have to take it, if you don’t like it. I also made you this,” he rushed out, taking a braided leather cuff with a piece of alien glass as a stamp and handing it sheepishly to Alex, who was looking at him, with the same teary look he had for the past few minutes. Michael took a deep breath and sat back down, “Look,” he breathed out, “what I’m trying to say, Alex, is I’ve got your back, okay? I’ll build you whatever you need, I’ll go wherever you want me to, I’ll - I care about you.”
As Alex opened his mouth to say something, Michael raised his hand to interrupt, and continued, “And I’m the son of a literal dictator whose powers I’ve inherited. I can defend myself. And I know that you wanna protect me - I do too - but maybe we could, I don’t know, protect each other by being there?”
Alex, whose tears were now running free on his face, bent down to take his right shoe off, under Michael’s curious gaze, who could also feel tears running down his cheeks. Alex raised his trousers and took off his prosthetic, before grabbing the alien one and putting it on. He knew the size would fit, knew that Michael had worked hard on it, had probably had the idea of making him a new leg from the moment they met again, in front of that same airstream, under completely different circumstances.
They had gone a long way from that day, and they still had some more to do, but Michael was right. Maybe this time, they could be there, together, to take that new road, to protect and take care of each other, together. Before standing up, Alex attached the bracelet Michael had made around his left wrist, admiring the colors of the alien glass under the desert sun.
Alex stayed at the junkyard for some more time, until his alarm rang, informing him that he should head back to the Lockhart machine. Taking a deep breath, he turned to Michael, asking him if he wanted to come with, and together they drove to the farm, down a road they had both taken together once, but this time Alex wasn’t bleeding out.
After that day, Alex still went to the VA in Albuquerque for meds prescriptions and physical therapy once in a while, but all the repairs that needed to be done for his prosthetic, all the improvements, were done by Michael, in his lair, under Alex’s curious gaze, who wanted to know everything about Michael’s ideas.
After all his gifts, Michael found that he still had some alien glass laying around in his bunker. So he decided to turn it all into little rings, wanting to distinguish as much as he could from the weaponizing of the alien glass, like Jones had. Eventually, all of little friend group, all of his people, owned a ring.
And when the day came, when the fight with Jones reached its last stretch, Michael was ready. He didn’t have an alien sword like Jones had, but he had something much more. A group of people, by his side, all sharing his strength through the little alien gifts. His people, his family.
Lately I've been feeling so alone Can someone give the antidote to me so I can Finally understand where I belong
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Bardic Buns
Hello all! I’ve been teasing a collab on discord for a few weeks now and I’m happy to say it’s time to start posting!
This is part one of the Hallmark AU! The subsequent parts will be posted over the next few days and I will link them here when they are!
Part two - Picture Perfect Aiden/Lambert by @jaskierswolf
Part three - Talk of the Town Triss/Eskel by @thecomfortofoldstorries
The AO3 Collection is HERE
Massive shout out to @fontegagrilledcheese for coming up with the brilliant idea and letting us run wild with it, it’s been a ton of fun!
Summary: Jaskier’s super star life wasn’t all he had anticipated but maybe opening a bakery in a small town and flirting with a diner owner will help him find what he’s missing. (Geraskier, Rated E, 5.9k words)
Warning: smut, blow jobs, hair pulling, nothing too out there just your standard smut. And some horny bits leading up to a threesome. Inappropriate behavior in a bakery kitchen. 
-
Jaskier stared up at the brand new sign, a bright smile on his face.
Bardic Buns.
A year ago, if someone had told Jaskier that he would open a bakery in a small middle of nowhere town, he would have laughed. 
And yet, here he was. Standing in front of his own bakery, smiling up at it happily, the thrill of it warming him despite the bitter cold nipping at his nose.
It was strange, thinking about how he had gotten here, everything he had been through. He had finally achieved his dream, his music was on the radio, his name was in lights, he was headlining his own tour, it was everything he had ever wanted. 
But it was too much.
Every day that he woke up, he dreaded getting out of bed a little bit more. The idea of dealing with his band, his manager, his fans, was unappealing. His beloved music had become a chore, something to avoid. 
It had to change.
So, he had finished his tour and cancelled everything else, used his savings to buy a bakery somewhere small and out of the way. A few trusted people knew how to get in contact with him if they needed to but otherwise this would be his fresh start.
-
“Fuck!”
Jaskier grunted as he lifted the oven door off of the floor. It had seemed to be in good condition until he had tried to open the door and it had fallen right off of the hinges. Hopefully, there would be some sort of repair service in town that could get it fixed so he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of buying a new one. 
Every day he seemed to hit another obstacle in his endeavor to open the bakery, first a small electrical fire -that had absolutely nothing to do with him- and then he had found evidence of termites, and now his equipment is falling apart. He sighed deeply, looking at the oven door now laying on the ground. Nothing else had dampened his spirits and this wouldn't either. 
Groaning, Jaskier looked at the clock, realizing he was running late for lunch. “Fuck.”
Jaskier’s first day in town he had met Triss, the owner of the local inn, the Wisteria, and the two had made fast friends. She would be at the diner across town waiting for him now. She was a terrible busy body and would be sure to know someone who could fix his oven.
-
Walking into the small dinner located at the center of town, Jaskier’s eyes flitted around the room until he finally spotted Triss seated at a small table next to a window. He hurried across the room, opening his arms wide as he approached the table. Triss smiled as she noticed him, hopping out of her chair and meeting Jaskier with a hug. 
Finding someone he could be so companionable with so early in town had made a world of difference for Jaskier. As excited as he had been, he had been nervous too, scared he might not like being here, might not make any friends. But Triss had waltzed into his life one day and decided she was there to stay and Jaskier would have it no other way. He hadn’t had many friends he could count on in the last few years, his budding success making him paranoid that people only wanted to be around him for his fame. Thankfully, no one here seemed to recognize who he was, or at least they didn’t care enough to mention it.
Jaskier and Triss settled down and looked over the menu, chatting idly about their day. Triss eventually waved to the young girl behind the counter, catching her attention. The girl hurried over, a pen and small notepad in hand.
“Ciri, sweetie!” Triss greeted warmly, “How is school going?”
The girl, Ciri, smiled back, “It’s going well, Triss. Thanks for asking.”
“I’m glad to hear it! Have you met Jaskier yet?” Jaskier smiled at the girl as she glanced at him.
“No, I haven’t. Hello, I’m Ciri.”
“Hello. Lovely to meet you.” He responded awkwardly, meeting new people had never been Jaskier’s forte.
Triss continued on, “Jaskier just bought the old bakery.”
Ciri’s eyes lit up, “Oh neat! I was so sad when it closed. I’ve really missed being able to get pastries. My dad can’t bake to save his life.”
Triss let out a snort, “Oh that is an understatement.” 
Ciri laughed, “Are you two ready to order?” They rattled off their orders quickly and Ciri headed back to the kitchen.
“She was nice.” Jaskier commented lightly, glancing out of the window to watch the snow fall slowly. 
“She’s a wonderful kid.” Triss agreed. 
“Oh,” Jaskier directed his attention from the window and back to Triss, “before I forget, it turns out that the bakery wasn’t in quite as good condition as it appeared. Is there a good repair service you use at the inn? I need my oven fixed before I can open up.”
“Oh absolutely! Geralt can fix anything.” Triss waved at Ciri again, getting the girl’s attention. “Ciri,” Triss began as the girl got closer, “is Geralt in the back?”
“No, he’s out on a fishing trip with Eskel.”
Triss raised her eyebrows, “Another one?”
Ciri shrugged, “They should be back tonight. Do you want me to have him call you when he gets in?”
“No thank you, sweetie! I’ll just give him a call tomorrow.” Ciri nodded at Triss and walked away, heading back to the counter. 
“Who is Geralt?” Jaskier asked.
“Ciri’s dad, he owns the diner.”
“And does handyman work?”
Triss smiled happily, “There’s no one else I would trust!”
-
Jaskier stared at the text message on his phone, not quite sure what it meant.
“Coming for the oven at 3”
Maybe Triss had contacted the handyman for him? Jaskier dialed her number and let it ring. She picked up quickly, “Hey sweetie!”
“Hey Triss, sorry to bother you. Did you talk to that handyman for me? I got a weird text.”
Triss gasped, “Oh did I forget to mention? Geralt will be there! And I gave him your number. He’ll get you all fixed up in no time!”
“Thank you, Triss. I truly appreciate it!” They hung up after a bit more chatting and Jaskier looked around the kitchen. He let out a sigh and set to tidying up, hoping he had enough time to make the place somewhat presentable before Geralt arrived.
-
Jaskier stared wide eyed at the absolute god of a man standing in front of him. His shoulders were broad, and his waist was trim. His eyes were the most unusual shade of amber and his hair was a striking ashen blond. 
He was beautiful.
He was wearing faded jeans and a flannel shirt, the sleeves rolled up displaying his forearms. Forearms that Jaskier most definitely wanted to lick. 
“Did you have an oven that needed fixing?” 
Jaskier cleared his throat, directing his gaze back to the man’s face, “Yes! Thank you for coming out.” Jaskier turned around and motioned for Geralt to follow him, leading him back to the kitchen. “I had no idea what to do once the door fell off,” Jaskier said, nudging the door where it sat propped up against the oven. “Will you be able to fix it?”
Geralt grunted and picked up the door, flipping it over and examining the hinges. “Yeah.”
“Oh! Good. Well, I’ll leave you to it, I suppose. Just uh… let me know if you need anything. I’ll be out front getting everything set up. I’m trying to open by the end of the week you know?” Geralt had turned around, his back now facing Jaskier and he seemed to be ignoring the other man’s rambling. Jaskier let out a deep breath, “Right, well… thanks again.”
And with that, Jaskier scurried from the kitchen. Why can’t I keep my cool around attractive men instead of turning into a total goob?
-
A couple hours passed and Jaskier had managed to rearrange all the tables and chairs to his liking. His newest dream of owning a bakery was so close. He never would have guessed he would be here but now that he was, he wasn’t sure he could think of anywhere else he should be. Looking around with a proud smile on his face, Jaskier headed back into the kitchen. The first thing he saw was the oven, now in one piece and looking cleaner than before. Frowning, Jaskier looked around the kitchen for Geralt. He quickly spotted Geralt’s flannel shirt, lying on the counter. 
Moving further into the kitchen, Jaskier finally noticed Geralt, lying on the floor, the upper half of his body hidden in the cabinet under the sink. “Uh… hello?” Jaskier said tentatively. 
“You have a leak; I’ll have it fixed in a minute.” 
“Oh… okay.” Unsure of what else to do, Jaskier leaned against the counter and studied the pair of legs in front of him. They were long and clearly well defined, the thighs were thick and muscled and Jaskier wanted to ride them. So caught up in his own head, Jaskier was startled when Geralt suddenly moved, shifting forward and out from under the sink. 
Jaskier felt his brain short circuit. 
Muscles. Shiny, wet muscles.
Jaskier watched as Geralt stood up, his biceps flexing when he pushed up off the ground. Jaskier’s mouth felt dry. Geralt’s undershirt was soaked, sticking to his body in a truly sinful manner. Before he realized what he was doing, he had reached a hand out, primed to touch. It wasn’t until he saw his hand almost make contact with Geralt’s pec that he registered the movement. He pulled his hand back as if it had been burned.
“Uh… sorry.” Jaskier sounded breathless.
Geralt grunted, “Do you have a towel?”
“Towel! Yes. Towel, I can get a towel!” Jaskier rushed out of the room and hurried upstairs. 
Holy shit. Geralt was even more gorgeous without the flannel than he had been with it. Jaskier never would have expected the owner of a diner to be cut like a statue. Jaskier took a steadying breath and headed back downstairs, towel in hand. 
Entering the kitchen, Jaskier found himself to be moving on autopilot, approaching Geralt swiftly and reaching out with the towel, starting to pat at Geralt’s arm, still damp. A large hand came up to cover Jaskier’s, making him freeze. 
Oh shit. What was he doing?
“I’ve got it, thanks.” Jaskier nodded dumbly, releasing his grip on the towel. 
Geralt quickly patted himself dry and ruffled his hair with the towel. Jaskier felt all the air leave his lungs as he watched Geralt grab hold of the wet shirt clinging to him and yank it over his head. Jaskier was certain his jaw hit the ground.
Geralt looked over at where Jaskier was standing, open mouthed, “What?”
“I think I’ve seen this in a porn once.”
Geralt lifted his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side.
Jaskier froze, feeling heat rush to his face as he realized what he just said. “No! I mean... I didn’t mean… I just… It was just that uh…” 
As Jaskier babbled, Geralt slipped on his flannel shirt and slowly did up the buttons, still watching Jaskier blabber on pathetically, “I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear! It’s just not every day that there’s a really hot, wet, shirtless man standing in your kitchen wearing a toolbelt.”
Geralt crossed his arms in front of him, “The oven door is fixed and the pipe under the sink shouldn’t leak anymore. Part of it was shattered, that’s why I’m soaked. Luckily, I had a replacement part on me. There’s still more work that needs to be done in here, though.”
“Uh… okay?”
Geralt slid a piece of paper down the counter toward Jaskier, “I made a list of what needs to be done and you can go from there.”
“Uh… thanks?”
Geralt grunted.
Jaskier’s hands were shaking as he picked up the paper and glanced over it, “So… what do I owe you?”
“Nothing.”
Jaskier looked up sharply, “Nothing?”
Geralt shook his head, “I owed Triss a favor. We can talk pay if you want me to fix the rest of the stuff on the list.”
“Oh… okay. I’ll text you?”
Geralt nodded and picked up his wet shirt and toolbox, walking out of the kitchen. 
Jaskier was unsure how long he stood in the kitchen, staring at the puddle on the floor where Geralt had been standing. 
Holy shit. His brain had completely malfunctioned, he truly had no idea what had happened. Not only had he shoved his foot so thoroughly in his mouth it came out the other end, but Geralt had still offered to come back and keep fixing things. He had even made a list. How odd.
Never one to look a wet, shirtless, probable sex god in the mouth, Jaskier looked over the list again, this time more thoroughly. It all seemed reasonable and any excuse to get Geralt back into his kitchen seemed like a good one to him.
-
Three days. Jaskier had had three days to figure out how to compose himself. And now he was ready, he had a plan for how to deal with seeing Geralt again, how to keep from losing his head this time.
There was a knock on the door.
Jaskier hurried over and swung the door open, ready to remain cool and casual, plan in mind, and promptly forgot everything.
There Geralt was, looking like something straight out of an indecent magazine. His jeans were tight, riding low on his hips, he was wearing another flannel, this time totally unbuttoned and showing off the white undershirt he had on, tucked tightly into the band of the jeans. His hair was pulled back into a low bun, prominently showing off the undercut he was sporting.
After an uncomfortable amount of silence, Geralt finally spoke, “Am I allowed in?”
Jaskier let out a small squeak, realizing that he had frozen again. He backed up, allowing Geralt enough space to enter the bakery.
“So, will you be able to open this week?” Geralt asked, looking around the room. Jaskier had spent a considerable amount of time cleaning in here and making everything shine like new. The display case was empty, but the glass was clean and shiny, ready to show off his sweet treats. 
“Yes! I should be open by Saturday if all goes well.”
“Hmmm…” Geralt glanced around the room one more time before making his way toward the kitchen, Jaskier following close behind. 
“So how much of the work will you be able to get to today?” Jaskier was almost dreading the completion of the list and not having a reason for Geralt to be in his kitchen.
“All of it.” Geralt responded as he unpacked his tools.
Damn. “That’s awfully fast.”
Geralt hummed, “That a problem?”
Jaskier felt flustered and leaned back against the counter to help balance himself, “No! Not a problem at all, I just didn’t expect it.”
Geralt was standing a few feet away, watching Jaskier silently. “Is… something wrong?” Jaskier asked hesitantly, worried he had already managed to ruin things. 
Geralt shook his head, “No. Do you want to go out sometime?”
Jaskier inhaled sharply, choking on air and quickly falling into a coughing fit. He recovered soon and accepted a glass of water from Geralt, taking a small drink and clearing his throat. “Sorry about that, you just surprised me.”
Geralt stared at him silently.
“It uh…” Jaskier hesitated before continuing, “sounded like you were asking me out. Like on a date.”
“I was.”
“Oh.”
Geralt frowned, “You can say no.”
“No!” Jaskier shouted frantically. Geralt’s face closed off.
Oh shit.
“Ahhh fuck that’s not what I meant! I meant no to saying no because I didn’t want to say no.” Jaskier yammered.
Geralt’s brow furrowed.
“I want to!” Jaskier nearly screamed, “To go out with you. On a date.”
Geralt smiled back at Jaskier and in that moment, Jaskier knew he would do anything to bring out that smile as often as he could.
-
They decided on Friday evening for the date. Geralt would have someone that could look after the diner and it would be Jaskier's last night before opening up the bakery. 
They met for a nice dinner at one of the fancier restaurants in town and the evening went quickly, the conversation flowing incredibly well considering Jaskier hadn't been able to string two sentences together the day before. 
"Do you want dessert?" Jaskier finally asked as their night began to wind down. 
Geralt hummed lightly as he looked over the dessert menu, "I want something but none of this sounds great." 
"Well, what do you want?"
"Nothing, I suppose."
Jaskier laughed, "Geralt, I own a bakery. I can make us whatever dessert you want."
And so, it was decided. The two made the quick walk over to Jaskier’s bakery, Jaskier chatting happily the whole time. 
Jaskier quickly ushered them inside and led the way back to the kitchen. Opening the pantry, Jaskier looked inside for inspiration, "So do you have any idea of what you want?" 
Jaskier turned around and let out a small gasp, surprised to see Geralt standing only a couple steps away. "Would it be too forward of me to say I want you for dessert?"
Jaskier sucked in a shaky breath, meeting Geralt's gaze. After a moment, he took a step forward, "No, I think that would be just forward enough."
Geralt's eyes darkened as he closed the distance between the two, settling his hands on Jaskier's hips. Jaskier's hands wrapped around Geralt's neck, the fingers of one hand threading through Geralt's hair. "Jaskier, can I have you for dessert?" Geralt's voice was low and husky, sending a shock wave of want through Jaskier. 
"Please," Jaskier whispered.
Geralt pulled him forward, slotting their bodies against one another just as Jaskier used his grip in Geralt's hair to pull his head closer, pressing their mouths together. The kiss was wanting and desperate, Geralt wasting no time licking his way into Jaskier's mouth. 
Jaskier groaned into Geralt's mouth, rolling his hips against Geralt's, making the other man pull Jaskier against him even tighter.
Jaskier pulled his mouth away from Geralt's, throwing his head back and sucking in a deep breath, suddenly feeling very lightheaded. He tried to catch his breath as Geralt mouthed a trail of hot kisses down his neck, their hips still pressed together tightly. 
Jaskier let out a whimper as Geralt sucked on the spot just behind his ear. "What do you want, Jask?" Geralt asked, his breath tickling Jaskier's ear. Jaskier's hips jerked forward. If he hadn't already been rock hard, that would have done it. 
"Fuck," Jaskier breathed out, groaning again as Geralt laved his tongue against Jaskier's pulse point, "your mouth, I want your mouth." 
Geralt guided Jaskier away from the pantry and backed him up against the counter, his mouth never ceasing the attention on Jaskier's neck. Slowly, Geralt pulled back to look at Jaskier, his eyes were blown black, his lips red and glistening from working over Jaskier's neck.  
Fuck. Jaskier didn't know how he would survive this night. But what a way to go.
Geralt dropped to his knees, his hands coming up to cover Jaskier's, holding them in place around his neck, one still threaded in Geralt's hair. 
"You're so beautiful," Jaskier breathed out, earning a smirk from Geralt. Jaskier gave an experimental tug to Geralt's hair once he had moved his hands back to Jaskier's waist, making Geralt moan loudly. 
It was Jaskier's turn to smirk. Good to know.
Geralt leaned forward, rubbing his nose along the bulge in Jaskier's pants. "Fuck!" Jaskier cried out at the sensation, the visual of Geralt on his knees in front of him nearly overwhelming him. 
Geralt smirked again before dragging his mouth up the length to settle near the button on Jaskier's jeans.
No. He wouldn't. 
Holy shit he would. 
Jaskier stared in astonishment as Geralt tugged the button free with his mouth before dragging the zipper down with his teeth. Geralt wasted no more time after that, using his hands to release Jaskier, giving his length a few strokes, drawing another breathy moan from Jaskier. Finally, Geralt leaned forward and licked a strip up Jaskier's cock from base to tip, circling the crown and paying special attention to where precum was beading at the tip. 
Jaskier whimpered and pulled slightly at Geralt's hair, drawing a low moan from the man. "Are you just going to tease me?"
Suddenly a wet heat wrapped around him, making him throw back his head in ecstasy. Geralt bobbed his head a few times before finally pushing forward, taking Jaskier's entire length and swallowing, his throat contracting around the head of Jaskier's cock. 
"Fuckfuckfuck. Geralt! I'm- fuck!" Jaskier whimpered, frantically pulling Geralt's hair with both hands. He was already so worked up; he wouldn’t last long like this.
Geralt moaned again, Jaskier's cock still down his throat, the vibrations shooting pleasure through Jaskier's body. He pulled at Geralt's hair again as he spilled down the man's throat. 
Geralt pulled off slowly and rested his forehead against Jaskier's hip. Jaskier ran his hands through Geralt's hair gently, "Give me a moment and I'll return the favor."
"No need." Geralt's voice was wrecked, even more gravely than normal. 
"I insist."
Geralt hummed and pressed a kiss to Jaskier's hip before responding, "No I…"
Jaskier looked down, taking in the sheepish expression on Geralt's face and the wet spot on the front of his pants. 
Oh fuck that's hot.
"Well…" Jaskier started, "how about we go upstairs and shower? I think we could both use one."
Geralt's eyes shined as he nodded enthusiastically.
-
The grand opening of Bardic Buns was a big success and by Sunday night Jaskier was thoroughly exhausted.
Just as he was about to close up for the night, he heard the jingle of the bell over the door. Jaskier stuck his head out of the kitchen to see Geralt standing just inside the entrance. Smiling brightly, Jaskier walked out into the shop to greet the man. The two had been texting ever since their night together and they had even scheduled another date for Tuesday night. "Hey you! This is a surprise. I'm about to close up so if you want, we could- Oh! Hello, Ciri!"
The young girl smiled brightly, "Hello Jaskier! I didn't realize you were friends with my dad." Ciri had come in once already that day and once the day before, nearly buying him out of his lemon tarts both times. 
Geralt grunted, "I helped fix some things in the kitchen… we've become friends."
"You should have mentioned!" Ciri exclaimed, walking over to the display case. "Jaskier?" She asked sweetly.
"Yes, dear?"
"Do you have any lemon tarts left?" 
"I do, in fact, have one left," Jaskier said, reaching into the shelf behind the display case, "and it's all yours. On the house." 
Ciri beamed back at him, "Thanks, Jaskier!"
"Now don't go telling others, I don't need them knowing I'm playing favorites."
Ciri giggled, holding out her pinky for Jaskier to lock his with, "Your secret is safe with me."
Ciri spun around to look at Geralt, "Are you ready to go?"
Geralt shook his head, "Go on home, Ciri. I want to take a look at the sink and make sure the pipe I replaced is still good."
"Okay dad, I'll see you later." 
Geralt pressed a kiss to Ciri's temple and she waved to Jaskier before heading out of the door. 
Jaskier smirked, "Need to check out my pipe, huh?" 
Geralt shot him a wry smile, "Just wanted to make sure we were still on for Tuesday." 
Jaskier smiled back, "I am very much looking forward to it."
"I'll pick you up at eight?"
"It's a date." 
Geralt glanced over his shoulder at the door and then moved in quickly, pulling Jaskier in for a kiss. "I'll see you Tuesday."
"See you Tuesday."
-
The date went wonderfully, much to Jaskier's delight, and ended exactly how he had hoped- in his bed. 
Jaskier was laying on his side, pillowing his head in Geralt's pecs, lazily tracing patterns onto the man's chest. "This night went well."
"Hmmm."
Jaskier was more smitten with the man with every grunt, "Would you like to stay the night?" 
"That sounds nice." Geralt began running his hands through Jaskier's hair, massaging the scalp beneath. 
"Hey!" Jaskier said excitedly, remembering a question he'd had earlier in the night but had been too distracted to ask at the time, "where did you learn how to do that thing with your tongue?"
Geralt snorted, closing his eyes and settling more comfortably against the pillow behind him, "Eskel."
"Eskel?" Jaskier asked, trying to place the name. "Wait. Eskel the firefighter?" Jaskier thought back to the small electrical fire he had caused while messing with some wiring in the bakery his first week in town. The fire department had responded quickly and the view Jaskier had been treated to had been truly delightful, certainly worth the embarrassment of starting the small fire. 
"Yeah," Geralt responded lazily, still playing with Jaskier's hair. 
Jaskier sat up so he could look at Geralt, "You dated?"
"No," Geralt opened his eyes to look at Jaskier, "we're friends. We fool around sometimes." 
"You… currently still fool around with him?"
Geralt hesitated, "Not since we went out but before that… yeah." 
"Oh."
"If you uhh… aren't okay with it, I can-"
"No! We never agreed to be exclusive." Jaskier was still trying to reconcile the idea of the beautiful man in front of him with the absolute hunk of a firefighter he had met his first week. 
"Right." Geralt sounded uncomfortable in his response.
"Not that I would mind!" Jaskier reassured.
Geralt was quiet for a moment before responding, "You wouldn't?"
"No. Would you?"
"No."
Jaskier’s heart was racing, the thought of being in an exclusive relationship overwhelming, "Oh… so… can I call you my boyfriend?"
Geralt smiled, "Yeah… that sounds nice. And I'll let Eskel know we're off and-"
"You don't have to." Jaskier interrupted.
"What do you mean?"
"Uhhh…" Jaskier turned bright red as he tried to think of a way to explain, "nothing. Forget I said anything."
"Did you like the idea?" Geralt’s voice had deepened.
Jaskier's breath hitched, "What idea?"
"Of me and Eskel."
"Oh. Well… you're both very attractive men and… I just… I mean…"
Geralt hummed consideringly, "You know, he might be interested."
"Interested in what?"
"Joining us one night." Geralt’s answer was so straightforward, Jaskier could almost pretend like his boyfriend didn’t just suggest a threesome out of nowhere. 
"Oh." Jaskier felt weak.
"I could ask him… if you're interested."
Jaskier licked his lips at the thought… he was more than interested.
-
Jaskier gasped as strong hands gripped his hips from behind and lips pressed to the side of his neck. His eyes slid shut as the lips traced kisses higher, up to his jaw.
"Eyes open, Jask. Look at me." The voice was deep and demanding, making his eyes snap open.
Geralt sat in an armchair in the corner of the room. His shirt was off and his pants undone, resting low on his hips. His hand was rubbing at the growing bulge Jaskier could see through his boxers. 
"Are you going to put on a show for me?" Geralt asked, his eyes trailing over Jaskier's still clothed body.
Right then Eskel nipped at Jaskier's ear, making him whine and roll his hips back into Eskel's, his ass rubbing firmly against Eskel's hardness. 
Fuck he feels big.
The sensation of Eskel's hands and mouth exploring him with the view of Geralt, palming his erection through his clothes, was intense. Jaskier let out a loud whimper, his breathing heavy.
"Geralt, don't tease him," Eskel admonished softly, sliding a hand down to stroke Jaskier's cock through his too tight pants. Jaskier sagged back against Eskel, helpless to the lust thrumming through him. 
Jaskier watched through half closed eyes as Geralt stood, stripping from his remaining clothes, and walked up to Jaskier. He moved his hands to the hem of Jaskier's shirt, "How about we get rid of these clothes?"
Jaskier nodded quickly, nearly losing his balance as Eskel stepped back from him. Two pairs of hands removed his clothes deftly as he gripped Geralt's shoulders to stay steady. As soon as he was naked, Geralt pressed their bodies together and pulled Jaskier in for a filthy kiss. 
Geralt's hands slipped around Jaskier and grabbed his ass just as Eskel slid up behind him once more, now naked, his cock settling between Jaskier's cheeks. Eskel's hands circled Jaskier, thumbing his nipples as his mouth began its path back up Jaskier's neck. 
Geralt broke their kiss, "Are you ready, Jask?"
Jaskier nodded and suddenly found himself lifted and tossed on the bed, the other two men now hovering over him, their expressions predatory.
Oh he's so ready. 
-
That one time with Eskel turned into a second and then a third until one night Jaskier and Eskel were lying in bed, still catching their breath while Geralt went to grab water. 
"Is everything alright, darling? You've seemed a bit distant tonight."
"Yeah, I'm fine, Jask. Just been feeling a bit lonely." Earlier in their arrangement this statement might have made Jaskier anxious, worried that he had stepped in the middle of an unrequited relationship, but he was more confident now that Eskel and Geralt's relationship was strictly platonic, with a side of fantastic sex. 
"Has it been a while since you've been out with someone?"
Eskel paused before answering softly, "Since before I got these," he gestures to the burn scars marring one side of his face. 
Jaskier traced the scars softly, "Maybe it's time to put yourself back out there." 
"Who would want me with this ugly mug?"
Jaskier scoffed, "A ton of people I'm sure. Considering how incredibly handsome this ugly mug is and how wonderful the man wearing it is."
Eskel smiled softly, "I'll think about it, Jask."
Jaskier wouldn't rest until he'd found someone who would love and appreciate Eskel the way he deserved. 
-
A few more weeks passed and Jaskier was getting worried. 
He and Geralt had been together for nearly a month but they had still mostly kept their relationship quiet, Geralt more likely to call Jaskier his friend rather than boyfriend, and Jaskier was positive Geralt hadn't mentioned the true nature of their relationship to his daughter. 
Geralt hadn’t dated in a long time, not since Ciri was much younger, and he wasn’t sure how to go about talking to her about it now. Jaskier understood of course, and supported Geralt’s decision but… it had been a month, and Ciri wasn’t a child anymore.
It was starting to wear on Jaskier, so he decided it was time for them to talk about it. 
Jaskier would be going over to Geralt’s later that night and it would be the perfect time to bring it up.
-
Jaskier wanted to enjoy the date, he really did, Geralt cooking him dinner was a wonderful treat, but all he could think about was how the only reason he had been invited over was because Ciri was staying the night with a friend. He was happy with Geralt, could truly see himself falling in love with the man, but he couldn’t be the dirty little secret. 
The couple made it through dinner, Jaskier quieter than normal.
“Jaskier?” Geralt asked as he picked up their plates to take to the sink.
Jaskier hummed quietly, his eyes focused on the table in front of him, “Yes, dear?”
“What’s wrong?”
Jaskier wanted to talk to him, to tell him his feelings, but the idea of rejection was too much to bear, “Nothing, darling.”
“Jaskier.”
Jaskier huffed, letting his anxieties take over, “Oh fine, I was planning on being a bit more tactful but here, I hate that you don’t take this relationship more seriously. It seems like I don’t even matter.”
Geralt looked stricken, “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean? Geralt you won’t introduce me as your boyfriend even though you claim that’s what we are! You won’t tell Ciri about us. What am I supposed to think, Geralt? It seems like you… you’re ashamed of me or something.”
Geralt seemed shocked, opening and closing his mouth a few times before responding, “I’m not, I swear I’m not. Jaskier I’m happy with you. Happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
Jaskier deflated, “Then why are we a secret?”
“We aren’t… I just… I’m not comfortable with…” Geralt sat down heavily in a chair. “I don’t know how to do this, and I was afraid that if we told everyone… there would be more pressure. We’re happy now and I don’t want to ruin that.”
“But Geralt… I’m not happy,” the look on Geralt’s face at his words made Jaskier ache but he needed Geralt to understand, “darling, I think I love you, but I can’t be a secret, I can’t be hidden from your family and your friends. If we are going to be in a relationship then I want to be able to scream it from the rooftops, not have to hide in a closet if your daughter comes home early.” 
Geralt was staring at his hands, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, “I… think I love you too. And I don’t want you to feel unwanted. I do want you and I want us to work. I was just… scared.” Geralt looked up suddenly, meeting Jaskier’s gaze, “We can tell everyone. Tonight, tomorrow, whenever you want!”
Jaskier laughed lightly, feeling relieved, and stood to walk around the table, stopping just in front of Geralt. Jaskier placed a gentle hand on Geralt’s face, the other man leaning into the touch, “Tonight, darling, I simply want to enjoy you.”
“I think that can be arranged.”
-
Geralt was pinned to the bed under Jaskier’s weight, with Jaskier lavishing his bare chest with attention. Geralt had just let out a filthy moan when they heard the bedroom door swing open.
The pair shot up, staring in horror as they realized Ciri had just walked in. She was standing just inside the door frame, a look of shock on her face. Just as Geralt went to say something, she turned around slowly and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
“Well…” Jaskier was blushing bright red, “I suppose we don’t really need to tell her we’re together anymore.”
Geralt rubbed a hand over his face, “No, I suppose we don’t. I should go apologize to her.”
After making themselves decent, the couple headed out into the living room where Ciri was sitting. Before either could say anything, Ciri spoke up, “I really don’t want to talk about it, if that’s what you’re planning on trying to do.”
They both nodded.
Ciri eyed Jaskier curiously, “Does this mean you’ll be spending Christmas with us?” Jaskier looked at Geralt, unsure of how to answer.
Geralt reached out and wrapped an arm around Jaskier’s waist, “That would be nice. Jaskier, would you like to join us for Christmas?”
Jaskier smiled so large his cheeks ached with it, “I would.”
-
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randomfandomimagine · 3 years
Text
Love’s Worth Running To. Chapter 5: Hero Work
Pairing: Barry Allen x Stephanie Williams (OFC)
Fandom: Justice League / DCEU
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A/N: Another chapter! I think this one as very interesting stuff, and it’s finally starting to move on to my favorite part of the story, I can’t wait to post the few next chapters!
Also, and as always, remember to give this some love! Please reblog and leave feedback if you’re liking it, it would help me out a lot and it’d mean the world to me!! 🙏 Thank you so much to everyone that’s supporting this series 🥰💜
With the excuse that she needs to face it sooner or later, Stephanie starts trying out her powers. She promises herself that it means nothing, only a way to ensure they won’t become something dangerous because she can’t control them. It doesn’t mean she will recklessly go out trying to be Wonder Woman. But the improvised hero outfit still lays on the ground. She hasn’t put it away. Keeps glancing at it.
Meanwhile, as her eyes are fixed on the costume, a light crackle of electricity hovers over her palm. Stephanie sighs and focuses her attention on it, watching how the small force field slowly grows. The semi-transparent sphere, at first as small as marble, has reached the size of a football ball now.
Stephanie tells herself that big progress has been made, as at least she is now in control of it even if the force field isn’t big enough to really protect anyone. Its surface is also irregular and unstable. She grits her teeth, frowning in confusion, but the very best she can do is maintain the current state of the force field.
“Ah!” Stephanie suddenly yelps when her phone buzzes. The force field in her hand crackles, creating a mild disturbance in the air, before completely fading.
Promising to keep working on her newfound abilities after checking her phone, she picks the device up and looks at the screen. Her heart halts in anticipation as she reads the text. It’s from Ben.
While it isn’t the person she was expecting, it still warms her heart that Ben is reaching out and checking on her. For that reason, she proceeds to read the message and a small smile finds its way to her lips when she does.
Good morning, Stephanie! How are you feeling? I hope you’re well and recovered. There is no rush to return to work, but I must insist that you rest and properly look after yourself. I’m your boss, so you have to do as I say.
Best regards, Ben.
Stephanie chuckles, endeared by his thoughtful message and amused by the fact that he signed it like he would a written letter... despite the fact that the phone already showcases the sender. Grinning, she starts typing to reply to him.
You may be the man in charge for the project, but shall I remind you that you’re not my boss?
Best regards, Stephanie.
However, and despite the lighthearted interaction, a void settles in her chest.
For a moment, Stephanie had hoped it was Barry contacting her, only to remember that she had been ignoring his many calls and messages. He has probably given up on talking to her, figuring she will do so when she feels comfortable with it. And she misses him. For that reason, she dials his number while Ben types back.
Barry takes a few rings to answer, but when he does his warm and familiar voice is filled with excitement. It makes Stephanie smile as soon as she hears it.
“Steph?!” He answers. “Oh my gosh, hi! How are you feeling?”
“Hi, Barry” The girl can’t stop smiling now, while at the same time wondering how she had survived so many days without him. “I’m feeling better, thank you”
“That’s great, I’m so glad to hear it!” He sighed from the other end, as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. “Um… did you need anything? Or did you just call to chat?”
“Well…” Stephanie awkwardly chuckles, feeling embarrassed for isolating herself. But now that she has her powers mostly under control after that long week, she feels like she can talk to him again. “Actually, I wanted to apologize… I know I’ve been very distant, but…”
“Hey, no” He gently interrupts her. “Steph, you don’t have to apologize, don’t say a word. I understand that you needed some time, anyone would after what you went through!”
Stephanie pauses for a moment while the nerves suddenly stir in her stomach. In the end, noticing his silence as well, she pipes up once more.
“I’m sorry for worrying you, Barry”
“I’m always gonna worry about you”
She smiles to herself, knowing that he means that in the best way possible. The nerves disappear, replaced with a wave of warmth that fills her. Suddenly, all those negative emotions she has been experiencing for days are gone. All thanks to his magic.
“Listen, I’m in a hurry. I’m so sorry, I really can’t talk more” Barry mumbles. “But, uh... how ‘bout we meet this evening? I’ll take it easy on you, I promise, I just want to hang out with you for a bit”
“Sure” Stephanie chuckles. “I’d love that”
“Cool!” She hears him happily chuckle as well. “Pick you up at 7?”
“Yeah, see you later” And Stephanie hangs up, unable to erase the smile from her face.
_
When Barry arrives to the place of reunion, he heaves a big sigh. The sky suddenly looks bluer, the birds are singing louder and the sun shines brighter. Everything is okay.
“There you are” Clark pats his shoulder, warning him of the team’s presence. They had been waiting for him. “How can a speedster like you be late?”
“Right, sorry about that” Barry grins instead of taking his words as a scolding.
“You look happy…” Diana tells Barry, kindly nudging him a little.
“Yeah, well” The boy suddenly feels slightly flustered by everyone’s gazes on him. “I talked to Steph”
“Your friend?” Bruce pipes up, the hint of a smile peeking in the corner of his lips. “We told you she just needed some time”
“She doing okay?” Arthur asked, frowning slightly in concern.
“Yeah, she’s fine… she’s fine” Barry sighs like that again, feeling lighter. “Phew, it was such a relief”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, Barry” Victor gravely tells him. “But we have work to do”
“You’re right, I know” The boy nods to himself. “I’m ready, let’s go”
The silence settles for a moment. Overlooking the city from their high spot at the top of the skyscraper, the six pensively observe the atmosphere beneath their feet. There is the usual busy sound of traffic, of the crowd’s murmuring and the occasional ambulance or police cars sirens in the distance. Other than that, there are no signs of an imminent threat.
“What are we doing here again?” Arthur pipes up. “Everything seems calm”
“Too calm” Bruce grimly replies, glancing at the rest. “I know something’s wrong”
“I can feel it too” Victor adds. “The electric devices feel erratic, like a virus is slowly poisoning the city”
“What we can do about it?” Diana stares at the cyborg, whose eyes are fixed on the city underneath.
“Can you do something to stop that virus?” Barry suggests to him. “Get into their systems or something?”
“I can’t” Victor gravely says, locking eyes with the speedster. “That’s how I know something’s wrong”
“I can feel it too” Clark admits. There are no traces of his usual smile. “Maybe it’s just an intuition, but-”
Before he can even finish his sentence, a loud ruckus startles them all. Something has changed right under their field of vision. An automated train, moving on its own and filled with thousands of innocent passengers, is violently wavering and making the people inside it scream and panic. It moves at a vertiginous speed. More strange noises ensure that the train isn’t the only electronic device malfunctioning there.
“You wouldn’t be doing that, by any chance?” Barry asks Victor, who slowly shakes his head.
As on cue, everyone moves at his denial. The six seem synchronized as they throw themselves down the rooftop. Diana uses her lasso to soar through the air, Bruce glides with his cape and Barry speeds leaving behind a faint blue tail. Clark flies, followed by Victor with his propellers, and Arthur throws his trident and rides it like a surf board.
In the blink of an eye, the six have landed on top of the train. More panicked screams fill the interior with the loud thud of their landing. They struggle to maintain balance in the speeding train. Moving quickly, Clark tears the metallic top of the train open and so everyone drops to the inside.
“Please stay calm” He kindly says to the terrorized passengers.
“We’re here to help” Bruce assures them with his deep voice.
“We’re saved!” A blond woman exclaims. “It’s Superman!”
“And Wonder Woman!”
“And The Batman!”
Although a warm welcome, the Justice League focuses on the mission ahead: saving those people. They exchange quick glances between them and get to work. There is no time to lose.
“Barry” Bruce lowly tells him. “Get rid of all the electronic devices as soon as possible”
“Before they overheat and explode” Victor urges him, his red eye seeming to recognize the extent of the danger they present. “They’re malfunctioning just like the train”
“Copy that!” And with that, the speedster is gone in the blink of an eye. With shocked gasps, the people find that their phones, tablets and any other electronic devices are taken from them. Some explode as soon as they’re thrown out the window, causing an even further outrage.
“I’ll try to stop the train” Victor closes his eyes, focusing his mind on the electric system.
“I’ll do that too” Clark nods, helping the cyborg by flying to the front of the vehicle. As soon as he disappears, the train produces a strident creaking as it drags along the rails. Carefully. Very slowly, it starts losing speed. He can’t risk harming the people inside with a violent halt.
“We’ll get the people safely off” Diana taps Bruce, who doesn’t lose one second to go with her.
“And I’ll help you out” Arthur throws his trident to the doors, breaking through them to allow them an exit.
Soon after, Barry has returned and instantly goes with Diana, Bruce and Arthur to help them move the passengers out of the speeding train. Clark seems to continue his part of the rescue, because it loses speed by the second. Slow and safely.
While Arthur breaks open all the doors he can to create more exits, the rest gets ahold of as many people as possible. The train hasn’t quite stopped yet. Bruce carries three grown men, using his grappling hook to swing to safety. Diana has picked up a group of four children while Barry puts their parents to safety. Perhaps they can’t quite understand and solve what is happening in the city yet, but in the meantime they can always protect the people.
_
Seven o’clock can’t come soon enough. Time passes slowly, and Stephanie’s eyes keep landing on the discarded outfit on the ground. She bites her lip. Knowing she is meeting Barry later seems to fill her with courage. Hope. Maybe she can be like their heroes, like Wonder Woman and Superman. At the very least, she can try.
“Maybe I’ll just try it on…” She mumbles, trying to get rid of her impatient energy, and as though they outfit would have changed sizes during those few days she hasn’t touched it.
Telling herself that it’s only a way to stay distracted and busy while she waits for Barry to arrive, although that isn’t for two more hours, Stephanie gets changed. The tight leggings slip on easily, like a second skin, like they’re the right thing to wear. After she puts on the tank top as well, she stands before the mirror once more. The same sense of excitement and wonder settle in her stomach, taking the form of butterflies that take flight inside it.
The look is almost complete. Just when she is applying the eye shadow like the other day, a sound interrupts her. Several police cars pass by her apartment at top speed, illuminating the streets with their blue light. A test. A call to adventure. Will she answer?
“I can do it” She whispers to herself. “I want to help, I can do it”
Anxious as the police cars wail in the distance, Stephanie nods in resolution. After such a long time of inactivity, her muscles complain at the sudden energy bursts. Ignoring the light aching of her body, Stephanie runs. She leaves her apartment, leaves behind her building and runs in the direction the police cars took. After days if inactivity, she feels alive again. Her lungs urgently fill with air, her heart begins beating so fast that it throbs in her ears.
Stephanie doesn’t stop running, chasing the call to heroism and smiling widely.
_
She gasps for air as she watches the scene before her in confusion. The streets are total chaos. Even the few policemen that have stayed seem to have lost their minds. All the people, from ordinary bystanders, to service workers that have left their establishments, are running aimlessly and screaming in a panic.
“HEEEELP!!! He will kill us all!!” A shrieking voice gathers her attention upwards. A man is teetering at the very edge of a ledge, at the top of a building. He seems about to jump. Stephanie can’t get there in time to save him. Where is the Justice League when you need it?!
Trying to make herself audible among the shouting of the panicked people around her, she focuses on the man whose life is in immediate danger.
“Stay where you are!” She shouts at him, but he only dedicates her an absent glance.
Stephanie frantically looks around, searching for something that can help her. Nothing of use is in sight. What can she do? An idea suddenly pops up in her brain. Wiggling her fingers, she tries to create a force field around herself. If it’s stable enough, maybe it can lift her off the ground and transport her to him.
But it’s all for naught. It’s too late. Her heart skips a beat.
The man has walked off the ledge.
“NO!” Stephanie screams, so violently that she hurts her throat.
On an instinct, she reaches out in his direction despite the big distance that separates them. Her head fills with uneasy thoughts, all of which are focused on helping him. Saving him! Her first attempt can’t end like that, she needs to do something!
Just as the man is about to step into the air and commence a free fall of several stories high, a bubble creates around him. The man gasps, suspended in the air by a wavering force field.
Realizing it is her doing, Stephanie clenches her jaw and focuses all her might on it. Although it quakes with her effort, the bubble carefully glides downwards until it touches the pavement. As soon as it does, the man looks around in a daze and begins to walk away.
Stephanie finds that such small deed was too great for her. All her energies abandon her and she suddenly falls to the ground. She sits there helplessly. Her heart has recovered that unforgiving pace and she breathes heavily again, even worse than after her dash.
In a daze, feeling how her brain slowly fills with fog, Stephanie watches the scene. Two men are fighting close to her, shouting as they’re convinced the other is a threat. A woman and her baby run aimlessly, wailing as each make more noise than the previous. All around her reigns absolute chaos. Panic. Terror. The reason? She doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand.
A man runs for his life, anxiously looking over his shoulder as though something or someone is chasing him. Stephanie can’t see anything behind the man. Just as he passes her by, she weakly holds on to the leg of his pants.
“Sir, sir!!” She calls out, trying to get through to him. Fighting his panic, he nervously turns to her. “What is happening?!”
“T-The scarecrow!” The man gulps. “We’re all going to die!”
And with that her breaks free from her grasp with one simple jerking motion and continues on his escape from an invisible foe.
Stephanie frowns under her eye mask. There are no signs of any scarecrow, and even if it was… what would a scarecrow be doing in a city? Why would an inanimate object be a threat? These people seem to be frightened of an imaginary foe. The only thing different aside from the panicked people is a strange ambiance. Although slightly similar to the way her force fields change the air, this once it feels heavy. There is a mild odor of something burning, like popcorn that has been on the microwave for too long.
But… there is no fire. Stephanie suddenly gets an urge to leave. She makes to stand up, but she remains too weak to move. Anguish overcomes her. Something is happening in that place, something that she cannot comprehend but that is starting to take over her too.
She doesn’t know what, but something is wrong. Something is about to happen. Something bad. Something terrible. She can’t stop thinking about it. A feeling of dread overpowers any other rational thoughts. Now Stephanie understands how all those people feel. Panicked She does too.
Her eyes frantically travel all around her, expecting hidden enemies in every corner. Her powers are useless, even if she could use them. She can’t protect herself, or anyone else.
Static-like void fills her brain, causing her to push her hands against her ears when it feels like her head is about to explode. Her temples throb. Her heart thumps. Her breathing quickens.
Just as she feels herself about to completely lose control, a figure appears in front of her as though it has fallen from the heavens. Stephanie yelps and whimpers, shielding her face with her hands and leaning backwards to get away.
“Hey” A deep dark voice approaches her. “You okay?”
Stephanie dares to peek through her fingers, only becoming more frightened when she actually sees the person… the… creature? It looks like a man, but her panicked mind can only see an enormous bat standing on two legs with its wings wide open.
“Ah!” She screams, so the figure folds the wings and cautiously approaches her. She still doesn’t trust him. “Please don’t hurt me!”
He can hurt her. He will. Anyone can. Anyone will.
“I’m not going to hurt you” He slowly crouches down to be at eye level with her. She can see his worried brown eyes through the mask that covers his features. “Look at me”
“You’re… you’re…” The world seems to spin around her, and Stephanie is out of breath. “You’re The Batman”
“That’s right, I’m here to help” He reminds her, offering her his hand. “What’s going on?”
Stephanie gulps as he pulls her to her feet. It comes to her attention that he looks her up and down, reminding her of the outfit she’s wearing. A hero… she failed. The reason why she went there on the first place was because she wanted to help those people, but… reality becomes a little more stable as she realizes… not even the police stuck around.
“Can you hear me?” The Batman tries again. “What is happening?”
“I don’t know… I don’t know” All her thoughts are scrambled, too fast to stop as they slip through her lips. “Something… is wrong… I can’t explain it...”
A sudden urge to cry causes her to stare at him, begging for help. Maybe he knows what strange occurrence takes place in that street, or how to stop it, or how to end it. He doesn’t seem to, but his eyes are filled with compassion.
“I assume you wanted to help, but you can go” He tells her, supporting her as she feels herself swaying. “Don’t worry, everything will be alright”
Stephanie slowly nods, taking a deep breath and making an effort to fight through that strange trance of terror. No one has attacked her yet, despite her irrational conviction that they would.
“Go, get to safety” The Batman insists, gently letting go of her. “I’ll take care of this”
She opens her mouth. To warn him. He doesn’t know. Since he has just arrived, he has no idea what he will soon experience. But Stephanie can’t speak up. She barely has the strength to stand.
Stumbling and in a daze, she takes a step. She needs to get away from there, breathe a different air. Clean air, not contaminated with whatever is hurting her so. For that reason, she takes another step. And then another. Little by little, she gets away from there. The safety of her home has never felt so distant.
_
When she wakes up, Stephanie can barely remember how she clumsily plopped on the bed and fell asleep. She had nightmares that are impossible to remember. The fact that she is still wearing her hero outfit is proof that it really happened. She still feels feverish and exhausted from her attempt. Something out of the ordinary was happening there. She can only hope The Batman helped those people, and that he himself was safe after all of that.
Remembering she is supposed to meet Barry when he texts her a quick ‘omw’ that lets her know he will arrive soon, Stephanie gets up. She gets changed and stumbles through her own house as though the ground is shaking under her feet.
Her mind seems to clear up as the minutes pass. When she is done getting ready, she goes to the door where she is supposed to meet Barry. He isn’t there yet. At least, her thoughts feel more coherent and ordered now.
Even after that strange effect has passed, adark feeling stays with Stephanie, like a black cloud that stays with her. At first she assumed it was the rare burst of adrenaline traveling through her veins. Now she’s not so sure. Her heart hasn’t stopped beating erratically ever since then, and although there is no more danger she feels on edge. Frightened. She wonders if she really wasn’t as brave as she though she was, or that she abused her still recovering body too much, or if the experience was too harrowing to easily leave behind. Whatever the case, a sudden presence forces her away from those thoughts.
“Hi!” Barry jumps into place in front of her, bearing a wide grin that seems to brighten up the subtle darkness that has clouded her heart. “I’m here”
“You’re late again” The girl only says, even if she’s already smiling. Barry’s feeling has a healing effect that cures her lingering restlessness.
“I know, I’m so sorry” He dramatically sighs, although he does look a little tired. “Busy day”
“What did you do today?” Stephanie asks, trying to start a conversation while at the same time distract herself from her unease.
“Uh….. you know...” Barry shrugs. “Run around, do some errands, save the world…”
Stephanie laughs out loud at his joke, and he grins widely in return. However, the gesture vanishes from his face immediately after. He is staring at her with his brow knitted in concern.
“Steph, you look pale…” He whispers, rubbing her arm. “You okay?”
“Y-Yeah” She chuckles, internally panicking at the mere thought of him finding out about her powers and her little adventure. “I just… went for a walk to kill time… Guess I’m a little tired”
Barry pauses. She can almost see the wheels turning in his head. He is about to tell her that she should rest and take it easy, but he doesn’t. Instead, he dedicates her his best encouraging smile.
“I’m gonna spoil you today” His hand lingers on her arm. “You’re still recovering and you deserve to be spoiled”
“So it was a trap” Stephanie smirks, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I should have known”
“There’s no escaping now” Barry offers her his arm, which she links with his. He then playfully arches his eyebrows. “Shall we?”
The pair smile at each other as they begin to walk. Barry immediately goes on about what they can do. They can get some snacks and take a little walk. Since she’s been locked inside for so long he wants her to get some air, but he’s stern on letting her rest, so maybe they should sit at a terrace. She doesn’t care what the plan is, she’s just happy to be with him. His presence is reassuring, silently reminding Stephanie that there is nothing to fear.
_
It has returned. That feeling of dread, of imminent danger. It isn’t nearly as strong as before, it merely feels like a shadow of its former self. Nonetheless, it is barely enough to make even breathing exhausting. Stephanie can’t focus.
Night is slowly falling as the sky turns a slightly darker shade of blue. It has orange and purple tinges as the last traces of the sunset erase from the horizon. The early night breeze envelops them, gentle like a caress.
Barry has been talking almost all evening, but Stephanie is no longer answering him. She is absently playing with the paper that the hot dogs they ate came in.
“What do you say?” Barry is saying then, but she’s not listening. “Steph?”
Stephanie is so out of it that she can’t answer. She grits her teeth, trying not to wince, when her temples begin throbbing. Her entire body is giving her signals. All she wants to do is rest. Sleep. Sleep for a really long time.
“Steph” He sternly calls her, taking her free hand when she feebly leans on him. “W-What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…” She gulps, avoiding his gaze as she lowers her head in the hopes that the stillness can level her dizziness. “Just got a bit light-headed”
“You sure you’re okay?” When she doesn’t answer, he continues. His voice carries a hint of panic. “You’re still recovering, maybe you should have stayed-”
“I’m okay” She rushes to say, trying her best to smile at him. “Just a bit tired”
“Steph, you almost died not that long ago” Barry gravely says, subtly sinking his fingers into her arm. “And you don’t look so good”
“Barry” She begins to say, tiredly tilting her head as she peers at him. Her vision blurs, but she tries to fight through her unwell. “I’m just… a bit weak…”
He doesn’t reply, only furrowing his brow and feeling a pang of concern in his chest. He had been scared enough to find her after the accident, it only makes it worse to see her in that state still. He doesn’t think he could take the idea of her not being alright.
“And…” Stephanie gulps, wobbling slightly. “V-Very dizzy…”
Barry wraps an arm around her. His heart is racing in unease. Just as he supports her, Stephanie falters. The breath hitches in his throat as he tightens his hold on her and presses her against his side.
“Steph?!” His voice breaks as the concern completely takes over him.
For a few seconds she doesn’t reply, only limply lying against him. Memories of finding her after the accident return to Barry, and he grimaces at the mental image. Luckily, she reacts in time to pull him out of those dark thoughts.
“I’m… okay…” She tells him in a daze, voice weak.
Still firmly holding on to her, he presses his free hand against her forehead. Stephanie’s skin feels warm, confirming his suspicions that she was still sick.
“I’m taking you home” Barry states. “No buts, you need to rest”
Stephanie babbles, opening and closing her mouth. If only he knew the true reason behind her state. But he can never know. In any case, she doesn’t feel lucid enough to speak. The mere idea that she has a secret identity feels far too surreal at the moment, even to herself.
“Can you walk?” Barry tenderly moves the hair away from her face, trying to take a good look at her. She only shakes her head, frowning as she tiredly puts her head on his shoulder. “Okay, up you go”
Straining a little, he grunts as he sweeps her off the floor and into his arms. Stephanie suddenly feels incredibly safe and comfortable in his embrace, and the deep unwell lessen slightly.
“You’re strong…” She chuckles, and she briefly wonders why she’s tilted to the side even though her head is still resting against his shoulder.
“See? You’re clearly delirious” They peer at each other for a moment.
The slight motion of picking her head off his shoulder sends a wave of vertigo through her. She whimpers, closing her eyes tight and gingerly resting her head on his shoulder again. Then, a sudden change of position startles her. When she opens her eyes, they are already at her place. Baffled, she feebly glances around. A moment ago they were… and now… she must be really delirious...
“We’re here” Barry carries her inside. “Do I need to take you to the hospital?”
“No, I just…” She starts to say, but her voice then becomes urgent. “Put me down”
Confused, Barry does as she says. When she is on her feet again, Stephanie presses her hands over her mouth. The wave of nausea soon passes, much to her relief. However, everything else does too.
Barry exclaims as he throw himself forward to catch her. Stephanie drops down, falling limply to the ground. His arms break her fall and he nervously scoops her into them again.
“Oh my gosh…” He mumbles as he rushes her to the bed. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…”
He shakily sighs to himself as he carefully lies her down. The girl’s arms stay locked around his neck even when he lets go of her. Barry stops to intently watch her. She now looks peaceful, as though she badly needed that rest. She’s resting, he tells himself. Yeah, just resting. Her chest softly moves up and down with her calm breathing.
“She’s okay” Barry assures himself, although he begins pacing up and down her room.
Thousands of terrible thoughts battle in his brain. She’s sick again. She hasn’t recovered. She’s dying. The accident was too much for her, she will never fully recover.
“Okay, calm down, Barry” He takes a deep breath, even if he still paces. “She’s fine, she’s gonna be alright”
He tells himself that all those thoughts are lies. They are just fears, not reality. Interrupting himself, Barry stops and looks at her again. Stephanie lies motionlessly in the bed. She is still pale, but she doesn’t look terribly sick. He sighs and resumes his pacing.
“She’s not as bad as she was in the hospital” Barry whispers, trying not to wake her. “She looked much worse then. Besides, Steph’s strong, she’ll be fine, she’ll be-”
Barry’s phone rings, startling him so much that he yelps and jumps in place.
“H-Hello?”
“Barry?”
The boy finally quits his pacing for good. His hand flies to his forehead. He had totally forgotten he was supposed to return to the Batcave after being with Steph. Things had seemed to gotten worse. After their rescue on the train, panic had seemed to reign on the streets for several hours. There was no explanation, but they knew it had something to do with the rest of strange events. And maybe a villain was behind it all.
But now… Stephanie needs him. She is sick. Now he can’t leave her.
“Bruce! I’m so sorry” Barry rapidly says. “I know I should be there, but Steph got really sick and…”
“Is she alright?”
“Y-Yeah, yeah… I think so…”
“And you?”
“I’m fine, I just got scared…” He sighs, settling his nerves. “Really freaking scared”
“So you can’t make it?” Bruce asks him, but at least Barry is relieved that there is no anger or annoyance in his voice.
“I’m afraid not… I’m really sorry, I just…”
“I understand” The man replies. “But we have to check that out”
“Sure, yeah!” Barry nervously ruffles his own hair. “You guys be careful out there, okay?”
“We will” Bruce gently says. “Take care of your friend”
“Yeah” The boy absently hangs up, turning to her once more. She is now lying over her side, having turned slightly in her sleep.
Barry watches her, wondering how he can contain such an immense amount of fondness for her. Just the sight of her pale face was enough to break his heart. If he could, he would hold her tight and never let go, protect her from everything.
When he slowly walks closer to her, a board of the wooden floor creaks. Barry freezes, but it’s too late. Stephanie groggily turns around, opening her eyes moving her head to look around her.
“Barry?” She mumbles, looking around, disoriented. “What…?”
What is Barry doing there with her? However, she quickly forgets about him when her eyes fall on the window. It’s almost dawn. An alarm blasts in her head as her usual routine occupies all her thoughts. She needs to get ready!
"I gotta go to work!" Stephanie makes to stand from the bed, but Barry is faster. He pushes her by the shoulders and forces her to lie down again.
"What?” He exclaims, feeling that anguish that he had just gotten rid of creeping up again. “Are you… are you serious?"
"Barry, I’m gonna be late! Our investigation is very important, it will help so many-"
“Oh my gosh, Steph!” He exclaims, in a surprisingly loud and exasperated voice that instantly silences her in astonishment. “Can you stop thinking about everyone else and take care of yourself for one minute?! Don’t you remember what happened to you?!”
And suddenly, with his words, Stephanie does remember. The accident, the hospital, the heroic attempt, the inexplicable dread in the air… Everything. She relaxes, forgetting about work. She now remembers she hasn’t gone to the lab in a week. But it’s too late for Barry.
Stephanie gawks at him, having no words to retaliate. His sudden outburst is so unexpected that she is utterly speechless. A second after he finishes his sentence, however, his eyes widen in surprise as well. They silently stare at each other.
“I’m so sorry” He utters, averting his gaze in shame. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I just…”
“You’re right… I just got a little disoriented” Stephanie reaches out to delicately take his hand, which he reluctantly allows. “I’m going to lie down, okay?”
The boy nods his head, and he doesn’t move at first even as she insists. When Stephanie tugs at his fingers, he starts to move slowly. Barry turns, hesitantly facing her. Stephanie only pulls a little harder, inviting to sit with her as she returns to her previous spot. Exhaling all the anguish in a shaky breath, Barry joins her in the bed.
No more words are spoken for several seconds. Stephanie doesn’t let go of Barry’s hand. His eyes are watery. Even as he looks away again, she knows, and that is why she tugs at him until they’re both lying down. Resting on their sides, they’re now facing each other. They just rest there for a moment, letting all the tension in the air to vanish and lingering on their positions until Stephanie’s soft voice breaks the silence.
“Are you okay, Barry?”
“Yeah...” He takes a deep breath in. “Just a little shaky”
“I’m sorry…” She mutters, and her hand is delicately pressing against his cheek before she can stop herself. “I really hate to worry you”
“You can’t scare me like that again, okay? Ever” Barry replies, taking her hand off his face and clutching it between both his palms. “Just when I thought you were out of danger you faint on me like that and…”
“I’m okay, Barry” Stephanie assures, chuckling a little when his eyes fall upon hers in a skeptical manner. “I’m better now, really, I just need some rest”
“I can assure you, you’re getting some rest” Remnants of that exasperated tone linger in his voice. “I’m making sure you get some sleep even if I have to lie all day here with you!”
“Is that a threat?” She tenderly smiles, and the callback causes Barry to chuckle.
He pauses, taking a moment to sigh and calm himself.
“Are you really feeling okay?” He lovingly presses her hand against his chest. His heart is drumming underneath it. “Don’t lie to me, Steph, I’ll know”
“I am, I promise” Stephanie snuggles closer to him, embracing his warmth and comforting presence. “Just a little tired”
“What happened to you?” He whispers in concern, even if his arm automatically falls over her frame. “I thought you had rested a lot, that you were recovered. Did I overdo it today? I really tried to…”
“No, no, it’s not that” The girl locks eyes with him, biting her lip as she wonders if she should tell him. In the end she partially does, thinking that he doesn’t need to know the true reason behind her little adventure. “When I went for that walk earlier I… I don’t know… Something affected me… It was like the air was contaminated… It made me feel scared and horrible”
“What was it?”
“I have no idea… I just know there’s something strange going on in this city”
“Yeah, I know…” Barry somberly mutters. After a brief pause, he feels his shoulders relaxing the closer she is. “Try to get some sleep, okay? I’ll watch over you”
Stephanie breathes in, just at the same time that Barry does, and peacefully exhales with him. She hasn’t been feeling safe ever since that awful experience from before. Now, next to Barry and enveloped by his arms, she feels the safest she’s ever been.
Tag list: @scared-to-be-lonely345​​ / @ocfairygodmother​ // Ask to be added to be notified when I post for this series!!
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