#ughhhhhhhhhh why am I like this
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I wanna draw my girls but I don’t like any ideas that come to my head and I’m sick to death of my WIPs ;-;
#the curse of never being able to finish anything leads to 3/4 of my procreate gallery being wips#also my deep dissatisfaction with the way my art looks makes drawing one hell of a chore#which sucks because I love doing it#but I hate 99% of my pieces#there is something incredibly off about most of them#I think the only one of this year’s pieces I actually like is the maria reynolds portrait#same with writing tbh#I haven’t finished anything in over a year what kind of a writer am I#and I’m not even busy I spend most of my time doing nothing but talking to myself#and reading back my old work makes me want to kill it all with fire#even the stuff I wrote fairly recently#ughhhhhhhhhh why am I like this#okay google how do I actually start liking my work this is getting ridiculous#I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:#I wish my girls were created by someone more competent to tell their story#I always feel like I’m failing them somehow#and they’re not even real ffs#and yeah yeah I’ve improved loads compared to when I was just starting out#but I haven’t improved enough and it’s pissing me off#which makes no sense because I’m taking no steps to improve#I never do exercises or practise stuff I’m bad at or anything like that#I even quit my fucking art classes and abandoned wanting to go to art school#all I ever do is whine#god this is pathetic#I want to yell and scream and vent and burn things and chuck my tablet at the wall at the same time#*deep sigh*#there I go again#making myself upset over nothing#sometimes it feels like I enjoy suffering because I literally go thinking self deprecating things on purpose#who tf does that???
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Sometimes I forget that Flatland is something I can interpret as my own thing so I'ma do that now.
Ik these look very inspired by Flatland 2007, cuz they lowkey are, but I just really like how A. Sphere looks I'm sorry (ik the creator is bad but I can't help the brainworms). I wanted to add quirks tho so it's better imo. My versions of the characters if you will. More fun to draw for me and less ugly (on A. Square's end).
They have actual names and design purposes for each thing. Abel's glove to prevent contamination into himself from Flatland, Anthony's glasses and front hairs being makeshift arms, all that has a reason lol.
More explanations of stuff below cut:
The Flatland parts of Flatland the book stay the same mostly. I'm not changing much there. I do want to flesh out Spaceland tho, so I'ma do that cuz I'm super self-indulgent.
In my version of Flatland, I think it would've been fuunier if out of frustration, Abel Spherious ("A Sphere"), grabbed Anthony Squaur ("A Square") out of Flatland and yoinked him out without thinking about the consequences. He realizes shortly after that he probably shouldn't have done that, and it will probably have horrendous consequences later down the line.
Abel almost kills Anthony on accident, so uh, yikes. But then after bringing him out of Flatland, he decides to work with it, taking him back to his office to do his report on Flatland. He sorta keeps him hidden, but on the last day Anthony gets leaked to the public and the war starts over it rip. However, the span that this is like 3 days, so they get time to chat and develop communication skills n stuff.
Also, since the gravity is so harsh on Anthony's body, he struggles with talking, only emerging little squeaks. Eventually he's able to use a device to get his thoughts across (probably like a telegraph or smth), so the first day or so of being out of Flatland was a terrible time for communication. Especially when you're so entranced with the idea of seeing your "god's" insides.
Also, Abel just kinda finds Anthony gross in general (cuz he looks like a bacteria) and rejects all advances until Anthony learn to properly yap though morse code. When Anthony writes the Flatland novel, Abel translates it for the world of Spaceland to read and not want to obliterate Flatland. However, that is after his misadventures in the fourth dimension (boo a Heightlander's Escape reference tomato tomato).
These are some studies of the two. I really like the hairs on Anthony, it makes him so much more expressive. Also, Abel is a slaying king, I love him sm.
Also, Abel is like the last person who should be in charge of a company. That shit goin down the drain in a week I swear (he came to work high every day his first month of being CEO). I'll probably change the name a lil I just have to cook.
Also, silly joke of how Anthony and Abel met lol.
Have a good one broskies :)))
#why must all the creators i admire end up being shitty people like UGHHHHHHHHHH#oh well ig that means i can adopt their characters and make them mine <3333#this is how ima be drawing my flatland-related content from now on#ig this is a kind of reclaiming? similar to what got me hooked on the movie in the first place lol#and yes this leads into a heightlander's escape whatchu think i am? loyal to the source material?#i mean i kinda am but i like the sphere more than a square in the book anyway so womp womp#i love these designs tho i think i cooked#koy's flatland#flatland#tagging extra stuff for reach lol#flatland au#flatland 2007#flatland the movie#flatland the film#a square#a sphere#abel spherious#anthony squaur#doodles#a heightlander's escape#katiekatdragon27
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in the subject of tgcf x yizhan endorsement overlapping. the original one i made is too long already if i reblog, so making a new one to add to that list. i know collab is the better term for tgcf but you all know hualian are celebrities so endorsement it is!
Swordman Mobile / KFC / Miniso / Zhenguoli / OPPO / Wangbaobao
and now let’s add Cotti Coffee. ☕️
#yizhan#bjyx#my hualian as yizhan agenda is not gonna die EVER#hualian#tgcf#I AM SO JEALOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA OMG WHY WONT THE CC WHERE IM FROM HAVE NO STUFF LIKE THIS UGHHHHHHHHHH
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huh. i'm weirdly... angry? tonight for some reason
#key speaks#tried to articulate myself in the tags and it made me realize#...ah. i'm incredibly frusturated and questioning why i'm even going to university. that's why i'm feeling like this#but like#i am Never just angry like this#i am PMSing but that's still not a thing i do#in hindsight there have been many clues throughout the day#but it's still WEIRD#i really really REALLY want to be DONE with homework for the night#but i CAN'T be and it SUCKS#UGHHHHHHHHHH
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,,
#honestly what is going on with me#i hate being so tired . this shit sucks#and like . logically i know that i did a lot of things today and despite the 2 month holiday i have been generally pretty busy#so why does it feel like i've done nothing at all in the past two weeks !!!!#today i did 2 loads of laundry i went grocery shopping i cooked dinner i went to my piano lesson#and yet my screentime is still at eight hours . im gonna kms#i feel so useless . what am i even doing#i should be applying to jobs but i'm not . i should be preparing for uni starting next week but the thought of opening the course schedule#already fills me with dread#i cannot wait to go back to a scheduled week but i'm already scared of the way uni is gonna fuck me up this time#like . the executive dysfunction is not going to get better ! and my courses are only gonna get more intense !!!!#fuck !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11#its fine im fine . i Will be fine i always am#but god . this sucks#also my body feels like it is constantly deteriorating . so thats fun !!!!!#today it was my knees . why were they suddenly fucking up ?? beats me !#can everything just be normal . for once . thatd be nice#ughhhhhhhhhh#whatever#s.txt#vent
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annoying people love telling you it's your fault if a book is confusing and boring
#this dude goes 'i dont like books where physical actions are unclear' and everyone in his comments is calling him a little bitch 😭#im not gonna take it too personally but i also am having a bad time with this book#the autistic/asexual combo is kicking my ass. what do you MEAN you were describing rape. none of those words you wrote meant that!!#why the fuck can a single character not go 6 minutes without thinking about sex. stop raping cows! i want to hear about the ghost!!#im gonna read something else for a bit then try to come back because it's not the book's fault#that i thought it was a ghost story where the ghost was actually the way america traumatizes but also is a real ghost#and instead is a book about how sex is the universal motivation for every person to ever live (<- what)#ughhhhhhhhhh i should also stop trying to get into my professors' favorite artists#every single author actor director a professor has gushed about Sucked To Me so bad#and thats fine everyone likes different things#says kenna#this is about beloved by toni morrison btw#ive read another of her books that was also fucking confusing as hell but i liked it well enough but it was about topics that didnt need#to be handled as vaguely and delicately as in this book#maybe also i should turn and run if i see a book described as a classic bc ive liked exactly two of the hundreds of classics ive read lol
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My lab partners in physics are literally useless I feel insane. I asked if either of them wanted to stay after class to work on it so I didn’t have to do it all myself and one said she just got a puppy the day before (fine, if that’s true I guess) and the other said … “suuure” and then kept going out of the classroom to call someone and he left halfway through class in a rush. I 100% believe he called his mom and was like “you gotta pick me up NOW”
#he’s a high schooler in a college class and has done… nothing#that class was an exam and I don’t even think he took it#I feel bad but like#it’s so much fucking math I don’t want to do#my post#vent#the group behind me is looks five people who are all participating#and they’re planning meet up times and study sessions and I’m like UGHHHHHHHHHH#I asked my partners if they wanted to do the math separately and compare notes and they said “nah I don’t trust myself to do it’#THATS WHY YOUR IN A CLASS. TO LEARN#I WOULD DO IT AS WELL THATS THE POINT#they just don’t want to fucking do it#am I writing this instead of working on the lab#yea#I half feel like fucking making a copy of it and doing it myself and not letting them have it because!!!! it’s my fukcing work!!!!!!#I won’t but it seems sooooooooooo tempting
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i need a shirt that says "i love hot moms" because i do love moms in general. hot is just a bonus
#i think i am mentally ill#crushing on women 20 years older than me#not serious crushes obviously but like why are bengali women so ughhhhhhhhhh
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ok so i have another tc i guess i mean he’s not really my teacher i mean i guess he is every sunday for sunday school well call him glasses so glasses has been stalking my insta recently so my super innocent christan self ( i hate god an hope i burn in hell ) posted a pic of just me in a bra an under wear to close friends an i purposely put him on there lmao but anyways he just now saw it after all day an i had to double check then i got a text from him i won’t put exactly what he said bc then if he happens to have tumblr yk🧍🏻♀️anyways ima give my version
i can’t give my real name because i don’t want anyone to know who i am so ima address myself at A mainly bc my name starts with a A anyways
Glasses : Hey A, how are you ? I know stuff has been happening an stuff but i wanted to check to see if your ok. We haven’t seen your mom to how you where doing.
Me: Hey:) yeah i’m ok don’t worry lol. My moms been sick an stuff so she hasn’t been able to really get out. I’ve been at my dads recently i’m thinking about moving here.
Glasses : I’m so glad to hear you're doing ok how are you since you know... and when do you think you'll be back I miss seeing you in class.
Me : Im coping the best I can... an im not really sure yet I just need a break to prioritize my grief along with my mental health.
Glasses: I understand ill be praying for you A love ya kiddo
Reading that last text I think I lost my actual Fucken mind I became a damn dog on all fours anyways I had a dream about him last night like the night leading into today well I guess now yesterday bc is midnight an in this dream it was very explicit like I swear he prays to be in my dreams lmaooo but anyways I miss him an our secret moments in a crowded room ( totally stole that from Taylor lmaoo) anyways ughhhh why does he have to be soooo nice like be a dick an be a man of god an only love your pet sprems an women forget about me no man shall lust or give into temptation brought on by the "devil" ye shall love his women an only his women if ye shall not love ye shall be stoned.
^^^^^^
that is my take on the one lesson he actually gave us lmao anyways he wants to come meet me up here to read scripture at the park because ive been " distant " from god as if he hasn't either... anyways another tc to blog about lmao ??
#tc confessions#tc crush#tc vent#teacher crush community#teacher x student#teacher attachment#sexy youth pastor#why is my youth pastor so manipulatively good at his job....#why can't I just like boys my own age....#I love married men#why am i like dis#ughhhhhhhhhh#ughhh fuck#why am i like this#why am i so stupid#why am i posting this#why am i here#i apologise in advance#i apologize#i apologise for this#help me please#help girl im hyperfixating#religion kink#i think about this a lot#i should kms#I hate god lmaoo#ahhhhh#this is kinda dumb
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Why have I been so angry recently. Like violent rage angry. Like scream until I can’t talk rage. Like need to punch a window and watch the glass shatter. Like so fucking angry. I’m not even pmsing. Like what is happening to me????
#looking at rage rooms in Florida and being tempted to go when I get my first pay check#I have so much shit I have to pay for first ugh#I have to pay my mom back for buying funk which is like 600 dollars and I owe her money for a million other things I’m sure bc I should pay#her for even giving birth to me if I’m such a fucking interruption to her life#ugh.#anyways. I need to go break shit and scream and punch shit and scream again and again and again#taking my meds and now instead of being sad depressed I am violently angry at everything#ughhhhhhhhhh why can’t my brain be normal why am I broken forever what the hell#I would bring up a rage room with my mother but I want to go alone and yell shit about my parents kmao#imagine working at a rage room while I’m yelling FUCK YOU FOR DYING AND FUCK MOM FOR FUCKING STRANGERS AND NOT CARING#you’d just be like 😬#I think I need to gif another stuffed animal that will fix me#I had a ponyo stuffed animal that my ex girlfriend gave me and like a year after we broke up I got really mad about it all over again and#cut the stuffed animal open and then cried and threw it away and I felt better#I need to do that with everything in my life
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i truly want to rip my hair out at how difficult it is for me to understand social cues
just tell me if you're mad just tell me i'm being annoying i literally can't do this
#i keep fucking up it's so UGHHHHHHHHHH#rage#i just need to be communicated with#all the time#and it's so annoying#why can't i just understand and not take everything personally#like should i talk or should i match energy#i need to be Told that#if i make the wrong choice i literally don't know#i am so stressed holy shit
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episode 9 --
damn shion is a poet. i also think homie is a sad boy. :( does he need help?
LMFAO AT THEM MAKING A CONTRACT. TO HANG OUT. BRO.
shion: this is not how i expected a relationship to go me: you're not wrong. they never go the way we plan darling.
rei showing up. lmfao. shion: i called him trash. rei: whats good boyfriend?
also calling your bf senpi?! ugh please stop.
oh the moment. rei catching him. LOL SHION IS IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY.
DMAN REI STAKING HIS CLAIM. MY BOY. (alright i am losing some anger) d'aw at the waving. smh.
his roommate is kirito. LOL KIRITO RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS DISASTER RELATIONSHIP.
shion: ARE YOU JEALOUS?! (EYES) rei: no.
lol shion dreaming about the "dirty".
oh shion don't start questioning your worth baby. please dont. you're too young to question your worth.
O-OOH DO I GET TO SEE HISASHI?! NOW? They're headed to the second years. PLZ. oh no it's just ichikawa. OH BUT THERE IS MAO. hi bby love. *waves*
oh no kirito getting upset. shion ugh you should have done that differently. ughhh. damn kirito GOING OFFFFFFFFFFFFF. HURTING HIM WHERE IT HURTS! (did that make sense?!)
how did rei find him? how did rei know he was there?! what is happening????? is rei keeping tabs on him!?
uhoh is rei making a move? why does this feel weird??? i just feel like this is weird. okok lemme pause. i need to get my thoughts straight on this.
ohkay. so idk rei asked him out bc "anyone will do" rei "doesn't care" and maybe that is true, who knows. we'll find out. and shion just wanted a "hot" bf and so on.. and after he finds out how rei is he is like, "i'll change him" but then his thoughts show that he's just gonna stay with him until someone hotter comes along.
idk if he told kirito this or not??? i am not sure. i think there is at least some inkling of shion liking rei, or he wouldn't get so upset over rei ignoring him and so on. but also, im not bad at kirito, guys, i think at some point someone had to say it to this delulu kid. maybe he shouldn't have said, "its not like you even like him" but i mean, he's not wrong about the other stuff. shion is deffo in outter space with this shit. alright hot take over.
i think we're about to learn about rei and, i pray, shion pays attention.
ughhhhhhhhhh why are these two having a moment, and rei is being a supportive bf and then shion... oh shion. starts panicking about being alone with him. shion plz darling i am triyng to give you the benefit of the doubt my guy.
lmfao rei --- I BLUSHED FOR SHION WHEN YOU PULLED YOUR SHIRT UP. GOODNESS GRACIOUS YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN. (no i am not giving up on hisashi, i am just appreciating beauty as it is!)
ah SHION MAKING YOUR FRIENDSHIP BETTER. i am proud of you darling.
OKAY DO I GET A HISASHI MOMENT?! please please please (i am in tears with withdrawal.) alskjfa;;;;;kjfalskjdf THERE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SCREAMED. NOT THE MAO MOMENT. OMG HISASHI ON THE BUILDING. THE WIND. BABY YES OWN IT. AH MAO HELPING HIM UP. DAW I NEEDED THIS MOMENT. (and no i didn't listen to a single thing shion said. i just enjoyed my hisashi and mao. im sorry. sue me. i am not rewatching the scene bc it won't matter.)
#twilight out of focus#the opening song#makes me feel things#also in the preview i saw my baby hisashi and i better see him or im gonna riot#ughhhhhhhhhh#it's been like 6 episodes without that beauty in my life#im crying about this#i need to find out roommates name if im honest#which requires paying attention#and i dont do well at that#hisashi otomo#mao tsuchiya#shion yoshino#rei inaba#i love hiashi i am so glad he got his moment#not rei showing up and at the end there#what is going to happen???#i am watching another. i am a weak bitch right now.#damn it#also i hope kirito and shion make up#also still questioning how rei found him/why he found him#ughhhhhh#i want to understand
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"I watch Bleach for the plot!"
The plot:
UGHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I LIKE THIS😫🥵
#bleach#bleached thoughts#bleach fangirl#bleach fandom#bleach thirst#grimmjow jaegerjaquez#ichigo kurosaki#ulquiorra cifer#chad yasutora#yasutora sado#renji abarai#byakuya kuchiki#kensei muguruma#i swear i do actually watch it for the plot#kubo be making straight up thirst traps tho#again i DO watch it for the plot i promise😭
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I
I want to rip my guts out why did I let myself go. That’s it. I am restricting. Two apples a day max. Two cups of milk a day max. 1/2 bananas max. 30 seedless grapes max. 4 rice cakes max. No protein shakes. No more treats. I don’t deserve shit. Stupid me for thinking I can get away with binge purging. Stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID UGHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY!!!!! I have been pacing for like an hour now. I think my dose is too much for my weight so I am feeling the side effects of Ritalin. But it’s okay because my appetite on this drug is so low I can lose the weight again.
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DCRC PKNA Week 11--Silicon Time!
thankfully our little book club break has meant i've had enough time to rest, get into what is potentially a new hyperfix, and feel motivated to read paperinik! ...and um ducks on the road. at some point that's not now.
you know what. im feeling ultra relaxation for this issue let's go to the cove. nevermind i got distracted and entered the pizza parlor
angus fangus cosplay
starting off and first of all i have to say dear lord. the airport experience is indeed horrendous as someone who has been on an airplane recently the sign "clogged toilets delay flights" baffled me. like i understand why but im also like okay. the toilet is clogged. there are two toilets per plane surely the line woudlnt get that long
im gonna be real i thought big nosed human guy was gonna be exclusive to silicon. like i didnt think he would just. also show up here
the idea that angus fangus hasn't had a day off makes me wonder like. was the new zealand thing last issue technically a work trip despite the fact he was there to save his tribe. because if so that rules
it's nice getting to see scrooge again despite the fact he's probably gonna be written out of the story. i missed him
thought he was wiping his sweat with his money for a second here i'm goign to be so honest. and in the second panel he's sillouetted for no reason it amuses me. i mean i know why hes threatening to ruin donald and uno's situationship but he doesn't know he's doing that
i love you chilling in purple shirt donald
i love their little dumb mirco-bickers. they're so domestic
rip to whatever italian pun was lost in translation here. unless there was no pun and donald is just like ughhhhhhhhhh because he does not care
hi little drink serving robot... these things did exist in the 90s but they were very very basic and mostly for flash. which is why it would absolutely get on the news when the only other news is its hot. donald's pose and uno's response is also so cute im. who would have expected comic silicon would have Uno Content
ohohohohoho... oh no, how tragic! how tragic it would be if a certain robot enjoyer skipped to the next town over for this specific day--nevermind he's on vacation too he's at the supervillain convention in florida (SORRY)
cog these car panels are cool... i am once again praising paperinik action moments
rest in peace all the computers at duckburg technofinancial im glad they at least got a viking funeral
it feels so werid to see angus fangus in a tank top and shorts. he belongs in a trenchcoat. and i just
the way he gazes into the distance makes this panel feel so much more contemplative than it actually is i love it
i love how the evronians have a whole division that's job is just. to deal with xadhoom. who is presumably killing evronians off camera all the time
i hope its a story where its the computer in the tower that did it like we saw in the start but he's just messing around. he's just like hi uno!!! :) remember when ducklair made you i was there when you were born uno and he's like oh BROTHER this guy STINKS !
:// i know the computer literally said the evronians might be useful but like i saw computer wanting to use the spore hatchlings and i was so dissappointed. especially disappointed that he wants to shut uno down. i think. at least i assume its a computer hence the name silicon if it was silicon and it wasnt even a computer there was a guy in front of it i would be SO dissappointed but im pretty sure its the first ducklair sentient technology at this point
i have absolutely zero thoughts about this robot rhyno thing its just an important enough detail i have to bring it up. actualy i do have a thought and its look at him. he's so fucking stupid looking. neutral connotation ITS FUCKING DUE AGAIN? FUCK OFF DUE. i gaslighted myself into thinking we were gonna get a different computer but no. okay. alright
of all the villains to figure out donald's secret identity im so. two. of course. not that he's going to get it i dont know if they'd go that route but
im gonna be so real after his introduction issue i fulyl expected them to never use due again
this panel si so dramtic (i LOVE the rainbow windows) but out of context its just like TWO !!!! im so mad
i know its the 90s but i like how it was confirmed later in ducktales 2017 if due did launch donald like that it wouldn't have done anything as long as he thought about the triplets (or maybe uno in this case) hard enough. our bravest man on two worlds... (yes i know they're different donalds)
IM SO MAD donald just kinda handwaving away the duck avenger's inveolvement. they hate each other so much
im so mad the way he's just. at channel 00 news now. due and the evronians deserve to be fighting each other for a while i think
and that was silicon!! i enjoyed seeing more of uno but i was disappointed the computer turned out to be. due again. but maybe im just a little loser who always wants a new robot OOPS i miss lyla lay hopefulyl we see her next issue considering we're going back to channel 00. hoepfully she had a really good vacation while this was all giong on
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reflecting one OPLA after the initial hype settled down idk how i actually feel abt it. i feel like i might not … be a fan of it omg. its kinda crazy to see what effect hot actors and casting can have on ppl. ppl forgive opla creators for so many fuckups (they butchered my mans sanji’s story so much !! how was he NOT there for the mihawk fight!!!) (and what was up w the whole garp thing?? ) because the actors are hot !! i really think that’s partially why it was so successful it looks good but its so hollow and painfully american 😭
now seeing the possible casting for the second szn and people loosing their shit over it like yeah its awesome to see ur favorite characters in the flesh (i am scared they are gonna whitewash robin and vivi🥲) but its not that hard to cast an attractive person who resembles the character. i’m scared theyre gonna fuck up the rest of the seasons cuz netflix shows go downhill after season 1 usually ughhhhhhhhhh
SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS AM I BEING UNREASONABLE
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