#ugh. take it anyways
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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I kind of don't like how a lot of people forget that despite all the angst and the drama around Dean and Cas they are fundamentaly best friends.
How many times did Dean say it throught the entire show? Bobby in season 6 saying "Well, you just lost the best friend you ever had."
For Bobby to say that, knowing Dean better than even Sam in some regards, how many times had Dean been sitting with Castiel on the couch in his living room?
Cas doesn't sleep, and rarely does Dean, with the Apocalypse looming right behind him.
So all they had left, in those quiet nights were each other. And they were okay with it, because they liked each other's company.
#your honor they are in love#destiel rant#destiel#castiel#cas and dean#dean winchester#spn#supernatural#deancas#castiel novak#dean and castiel's profound bond#they are besties#we could get into detail about how their entire relationship fundamentally changed the second cas took on the leviathans#how castiel believed he could ever become something he was happy with and destroyed himself and murdered most of the other angels#and lost all form of self reflection and actualization in order to hate himself#and yes he magically got better after taking on sams memories but he was never alright ever again#and dean tried to go along with it#refused to see that there was anything wrong#ugh anyway#i digress
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now that I can think semi-coherently again...whooooo's ready for Friday WEEHOO
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i've only had gidel for a day and a half et cetera you know the rest#guidel? gider? ah yes. what's that romanization. my favorite game#i'm gonna go with fellow and gidel until something official comes out i guess#anyway HEY it's spooky carnival time where everybody wears hats and then probably turns into puppets or something! i'm excited!#yuu and grim are probably going to be there also which means it doesn't canonically take place during glorious masquerade#which is unfortunate because that really is the most hilarious possibility#ace and deuce in unison: ugh you won't BELIEVE what happened while you were gone#these boys cannot just have one nice day without someone trying to take over the school or destroy all magic forever or something#such is life in twisted wonderland
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Ew they're flirting again.
#I keep forgetting how to draw hoods. ;-;)#Huh. The colors actually didn't look as choppy as I thought with how fast I've done it. I mean.#It's just flat colors but it still take up time that's why sometimes my doodles are colorless. Anyway#Actually using this to test draw something I'm going to apply on a commission#They're in the autumn clothes I had drawn them in before. 😁 Just that I accidentally made Connie's pants a bit too light 🤷♀️#Okay this time they're not just exchanging puns. He's just probably whispering romantic shiz that's going to cause OP a seizure with how#smaltzy they are#Oh but what if it's actually just casual talk; but he knows it tickles her to talk to her that close. 🤔#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#SU#skedooblea#Steven Universe#Ugh A reference was used for a part and it actually looked wrong? 😕
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I’m sorry but my Mother Mary, Terror of Demons, Queen of Heaven, Star of the Sea, was not “REDUCED to motherhood” by God
#one of my posts broke catholic containment a bit#absolute brain dead take spotted#also like??#what do you think women generally did anyway throughout all of history?#they generally didn’t have a ton of options especially poor women of an oppressed class#you’re acting as if she had some promising aspirations as a CEO or something that God cruelly ripped away for no reason#catholic#ugh
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My hand hurts so fucking bad
#duncan sleeps in his guyliner and its a mess everytime#that being said#i did just remind myself to take off my eyeliner before i sleep because of this#anyways gwens taking the photo#i gave trent a camo monster shirt and a zebra print shirt#he deserves some stupid emo swag#duncan has#so many bracelets#you can track how long him and trent have been dating by how many of duncans bracelets trent has#total drama#jester draws#fanart#duncan total drama#duncan td#trent total drama#trent td#total drama duncan#total drama trent#duntrent#truncan#ugh emos#emo#2000s style
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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Take care.
#my art#I swear nuzleaf's betrayal is my roman empire#I played this game in spanish and I completely missed his accent can you believe#UGH I LOVE THIS DUDE#I knew he was sketchy but I wasn't expecting his betrayal would feel so cruel#TOWARDS A CHILD HE WAS TAKING CARE OF. UNDER HIS OWN ROOF. BASICALLY HIS DAUGHTER????#anyways just for the record psmd is ALWAYS ON MY MIND#psmd#pmd#psmd hero#nuzleaf#pokemon mystery dungeon#pokemon super mystery dungeon#Fiona/Fennekin#Abby/Riolu
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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jealousy really is the driving force of DamiTim as a ship. love that for them. love how Tim has the Robin mantle ripped away from him and he has to suffer the jealousy of watching Dick and Damian bond. how possessive over Dick Tim can be, to have him stolen by Dick.
even more so though, is the jealousy from Damian. how on earth do you cope when you finally get to be Robin, a role you've convinced is your birthright, and no one really likes you? every prefers the Robin who came before you? Dick regularly reminds you that he can always go and call Tim back when you act out? like the complex Damian has over Tim is unreal. Tim, who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him his whole life. he never had to struggle or fight for his place like Damian did. Damian has spent his whole life fighting and proving himself, and yet he can't ever seem to truly claw the mantle of Robin away from Tim. even when Tim lets it go, becomes Red Robin, they seem to share it. Tim can slip back into the role of Robin whenever someone like Dick or Bruce need him to, because *he's* the Robin who they need. he's the Robin who was able to find Bruce. he's the Robin that Ra's wants an heir out of. he's the Robin who even Jason respects. in Damian's eyes, everything Damian has fought tooth and nail for, was handed to Tim.
so of course he's going to react to Tim with violence and aggression, especially after finding out Tim has contingency plans for him. no matter how much Damian proves himself, he's never going to be enough, especially not to Tim. and so his deep refusal to see Tim as family, to acknowledge Tim's legacy is all driven by such an angry jealousy. Tim understands aspects of Bruce's legacy that Damian doesn't, like the need to sweet talk and play nice with the elites of Gotham, even if they're corrupt. they exemplify different aspects of Robin, and the aspects that Tim exemplifies are the aspects that Damian knows he'll never fully understand and therefore holds such a deep contempt for. he wants to fight criminals, not play nice with politicians. Tim understands the side of Gotham that's utterly foreign to Damian. if anything, he represents that side of Gotham, to Damian. a pretty little rich boy who's nothing but a know-it-all and not a real son of Bruce. he can't be a Wayne. he can't be Damian's family.
and all of that angry jealousy leading to unhealthy obsession turned a weird, angry crush from Damian is just my bread and butter. that is how DamiTim should be. to me. Damian obsessed over hating Tim Drake so much he accidentally ends up sort of in love with him and that only makes Damian angrier. because he can't prove everyone right by *also* liking Tim. he can't let Ra's win like that, because frankly why wouldn't Ra's be delighted by Damian and Tim getting together. and it builds and builds with angry passive aggression towards Tim that culminates in angry hate-fucking-that's-not-just-driven-by-hate. love and hate are always viewed as opposites in shipping and i think they're the same intense passion just in different directions. and for the best ships, they're very intertwined. what is DamiTim is not the peak of that. "i put so much of myself into hating you i had no choice but to fall in love with you somewhere along the way" core. love that bleeds into hate and hate that bleeds into love. "you make me so angry i regularly passively try to kill you but not with any real effort because who would i obsess over if you were actually gone" core. murder attempts as a form of courting. contingency plans to take each other out as a love language. they're unwell.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#timdami#tim drake x damian wayne#damian wayne x tim drake#also possibly a hint of dicktim at the beginning there#i have yelled at my partner about them nonstop#so i had to put the thoughts into a tumblr post to give them peace.#i clearly favor tim in my ships we don't need to talk about it#tim drake is so weird he makes everyone else weird about him by proxy.#like sir contain that aura it's making everyone mentally ill.#i'm not a hamilton girlie at all which is why it makes me so mad Wait For It is SUCH good song for damian#like that song just IS his complex over tim#whether canon or shipping#this pulls from a variety of canon btw#like yeah mostly pre-flashpoint#but i do think the fact that in current comics canon tim keeps defaulting back to being robin#must make damian SO mentally unwell#like oh that does not help your jealousy complex does it.#and the thoughts of tim understanding the elite in ways damian doesn't are inspired by the boy wonder (2024)#which GOD is the first modern comic to fucking understand how tim and damian actually feel about each other#in a way that isn't either cartoonishly evil or makes them make up too easily#ugh. juni ba your mind.#anyway the complex damian has over tim. is fucking wild.#bc like everyone uses it to woobify poor tim for being attacked by big mean damian#which first of all stop taking panels out of context#second of all#dude no WONDER damian has a complex. i'd hate tim's ass too!!!#when i was reading batman & robin (2009) and dick casually says he can still call tim when damian acts out#what kind of threat IS that dick. sir.
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Progress
#zutara#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#katara#wip#Haven't drawn his scar yet#And I'm actually debating whether to give Katara's hands scars or not#What do you guys think?#This artwork is taking me ages#Blame college ugh#Also have I ever mentioned how lazy I am when it comes to backgrounds?#I mean it depends on the artwork I guess...#I really enjoyed doing the background for that HalfBlood Katara piece. This comic tho....#It's taking me ages to finish already. Backgrounds too? Not this time#Anyways I'll keep you all updated#Dema out
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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This is not a one sitting task so I have to take a break. It's humanly impossible not to... So here's a...idk? Sneak peak, I guess? Anyways, reprise!
P.S. I'm putting it off 'cause I plan to draw an actual background for once. Complete with twilight lighting. Which is gonna be horrible because a) I've never done it before b) I stand with Mai on the subject: orange is such an awful colour!
This is also what is germinating in my head about Zuko and Mai getting lost in the Spirit World and neither of them respect the spirits enough to get out of there quickly.
#maiko#atla maiko#mai#atla mai#zuko#b1 zuko#avatar the last airbender#atla#ponytail zuko#fancomic#zuko and mai are 15ish here#zuko's dialogue in the last panel reads so stilted#but who am i kidding? im no writer#the urge to take this whole thing down just so i could erase the ‘anyways’ in that first sentence in zuko’s last dialogue box#ugh#nocturnal wip
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Look at my shipmates bro im gonna get cannibalized 😭😭😭
#I’m so so scared posting art on here pls imagine me as a small oupy….#ugh#anyways take it 😭😭😭#the terror#hickeygibson#cornelius hickey#billy gibson#my art#Eva rambles
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box inanimate insanity? more like....uhhh....uhhhhhh
#II spoilers#i think???#i mean she is new so#inanimate insanity spoilers#ii finale spoilers#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity fanart#box inanimate insanity#box ii#I LOVED HEEEER#she's my girl#i see the deleted contestants as lifeless puppets#I'd like to give my take on the other contestants#and ghost knife too :33#anyway UGH this finale was so epic#animationepic you could say
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