#ugh guys i’m so normal about paul
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can we just talk about paul matthews for a moment
a man who thought he was so insignificant, a man who never wanted anything, just a regular guy with a regular life and a crush on the barista at his regular coffee place (the one he goes too even though there’s a starbucks right there because she’s there)
paul matthews, who’s asks how could he, a regular, average guy, could save the world single handedly. Because he knows he can’t, but when given the chance takes it anyways. The guy who didn’t like musicals, who braved a musical to try and save the world, and even though he failed, he never gave up on the people around him
paul matthews, who’s love story is the only constant ever, that no matter in what universe he’ll find emma every time
paul matthews, probably on of the worst protagonists ever, but arguably one of the best hatchedfield characters
#ugh guys i’m so normal about paul#he makes me so emotional#paul matthews#tgwdlm#starkid tgwdlm#starkid#team starkid#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#the guy who didn't like musicals#the hatchetfield series
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SNICKERDOODLEZ TALKS ABOUT BEING A CHRISTIAN, AND “BRO WHAT HAPPENED?? JESUS WAS JESUS AND YALL ARE SO MUCH LESS CHILL THAN HIM. CALM DOWN”
So uhhhh fun fact!! I’m a Christian!! Who hates how so many Christians act nowadays!!
First off: Can we normalize like…asking questions?? Without being seen as disrespectful? Like there’s a difference between “UGH WHYYYY” and “why?” but like….questioning commands we’re given and questioning belief systems.
Like why are we trying to stigmatize questioning authority?? No, normalize questioning authority
As well as this, I feel like it’s a big stereotype that religious people hate when you question their religion, and like- in a disrespect way? Yeah. Fair- but as a Christian like….no!!! Question your belief system!! Question what you’re taught! I’ve had the pleasure of being surrounded by lovely people who are more than eager to answer questions and admit when they don’t know something! Heck, so many times they go research it themselves so that they can come back to me like “HEY that was a good question here’s what I found!!”- like- THEY ENCOURAGE ASKING QUESTIONS
MY BIBLE TEACHERS ARE ALWAYS LIKE “YES THANK YOU QUESTIONS ARE GOOD.” Half of our Bible classes are debates. It’s awesome. My current Bible teacher- first of all, a sarcastic king. We love him. He’s an icon- HE LIKE- TRIES TO DISPROVE EVERYTHING WE PUT FORWARD SO WE QUESTION THINGS.
DO THAT!!! Questioning my faith has only ever made it stronger!
And also just like- generally respect people? Like, yeah, some people are going to have SPICY opinions…but like…I don’t care what your political leaning or religious views are or whether you like pineapple on pizza!!! Respect people!! Respect their opinions!! (AS LONG AS THIS OPINION IS NOT HURTING ANYONE…like, I’m sorry, but we do not condone p3d0phillia in this Good Christian Minecraft Server™)
Like, so many Christians are like “OMG!!! WHY R U WEARING THAT!! UR GOING TO HELL >:C” when like- boy no that’s not what the Bible says at ALL where the frick did you get that from??? Yunno Paul?? Yunno everyone else in the Bible??? Calm down, I know my ankles are sexy but that’s no reason to yell
JESUS SPECIFICALLY SOUGHT OUT PEOPLE THAT SOCIETY HATED, BECAUSE HE LOVES EVERYONE??? BRO “TREAT YOUR NEIGHBOR THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”- I COULD BE WRONG BUT ISNT THAT FROM THE BIBLE?? BRO WHAT ARE YALL DOING smh where are you WWJD bracelets 😔 ALSO HOW DID WE GET TO THE POINT WHERE RACISM IS ASSOCIATED WITH CHRISTIANITY. LIKE BROS WHAT DID YOU DO. WHAT. JESUS LEAVES FOR TEN MINUTES AND NOW WE RACIST??? BROSKIS
Anyways, uh- ask questions! Normalize that! Do your own research! Also like- stop being so judgy, Christians. Jesus was like a chill guy, I think we forget that?? He was super sarcastic sometimes, he answered people’s questions, he was like the most humble guy in history- so Christians, even God is more chill than you. Broskis. My mans.
Can we chill? Let’s chill.
👍
Question authority love your neighbor respect others byeeeeeeeeeee
-sincerely, a fantasy-loving neuro-divergent recovering-from-clinical-depression Christian :]
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ranking downton abbey characters:
edith’s newspaper man- died punching nazis, can’t get more iconic than that
2. rose- flapper icon!! best fashion sense, married a cute jewish man, living my dream life
3. cora’s family- PLAYED BY SHIRLEY MACLAINE AND PAUL GIAMATTI, move over england the twentieth-century is america’s time to shine, it’s just funny that the family acts like they’re so above the americans but they’re the only reason y'all still have a house, like you hate us until you want our money
4. maggie smith- 1900s lucille bluth
5. thomas- often diva a down, i love a good schemer, only one real enough to call out the class divide
6. tom- HE’D BE HIGHER BUT THE WRITERS HAD HIM SELL OUT HIS SOCIALIST, IRISH NATIONALIST IDEAS IN EXCHANGE FOR BECOMING A COG IN THE WHEEL OF BRITISH ARISTOCRACY AND SPOKESPERSON FOR CAPITALISM. why. let my man burn down symbols of imperialism. i was in love with him season 1 and 2 but after? as joyce would say he became a jester at the court of his masters.
7. sybil- feminist icon, she would’ve stopped tom’s whole arc if she’d lived
8. mrs. hughes- she’s the only one keeping these ppl alive, bad bitch, also only servant aware that this is a job in the end and while she respects her employers she doesn’t worship the ground they walk on
9. matthew- he was cool, is the reason the rich people know what a weekend is, mary’s best love interest and I miss him
10. cora- american dollar princess!!
11. bertie- i love that he’s like toby from the office but if toby was the one promoted to corporate (not ryan). like a w for dull, normal people everywhere! (not an insult this is most everyone)
12. matthew’s mom- she could be a bit much at times and a bit of a nancy pelosi kinda progressive! like the family rolled their eyes at her but she was the only one of them actually doing anything useful for society so i’m not a hater. also i love her friendship with queen maggie smith
13. edith- the best scene of the whole show is the one where she finally called mary a bitch.
14. the cook- she’s cool
15. the dad (what actually is his name?)- he’s such a dumbass, walking example of why we shouldn’t give money/land/power because you’re related to someone, i did like the scene where he vomits up blood in the middle of dinner like finally something interesting
16. anna- stand up girl. be your own individual person
17. carson- ugh
18. mary’s second husband (henry?)- the male version of the horse girl: car guy
19. mary- a bitch but she often ate I fear (except the time she was cold/uncaring and MADE JOKES about newspaper man being killed by the nazis… it’s giving melania when she wore that “i don’t care, do you” jacket. like the man died standing up against what will be a fascist regime. what exactly have you done? )
20. daisy- just annoying
21. bates- i hate this man. he is a sanctimonious, sydney carton wannabe who makes his wife’s assault ABOUT HIM. to the point that her main concern after it happens is that he doesn’t find out to avoid him getting angry. and when he does find out, he broods. he thinks he’s better than everyone and i hate him so much. like in the first season when he refuses to say why he was arrested for stealing silver because of virtue or whatever, like who gives a fuck, just tell em it was your wife. that’s how i know this show isn’t about americans. we have no problem throwing someone under the bus to save our job. americans are nothing if not the prioritization of self-interest/individualism in the name of retaining power in the marketplace.
#downton abbey#i enjoy a good period piece i mean it’s no mad men#WHO DO YOU THINK YOURE TALKING TO? MAMMA? YOUR MAID? I KNOW YOU#like the bitch line is rightfully infamous but there’s something so real about this line. like for years mary’s behavior’s been excused#and propped up by the family and the staff as they make excuses but edith just READS her like no one knows you better than a sister
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Small fic about Tord's sibling almost talking him down in the climax of The End until Tom throws the sofa at him and harpoons him. Anfst timw bby.
"Tord..is this really what you wanna do?"
The massive red robot glanced down at you as its blue window became transparent. Its occupant, your one and only maniac of a brother, grinned at you widely.
"Yeah! I mean..this is all I came back for! C'mon søsken, let's leave all of this behind and start anew." Kneeling down, the robot extended its hand to you. "We'll rule the world together and be unstoppable!" Tord laughed like some cliché comic book villain.
But you weren't laughing at all. You didn't want to "rule the world" or cause any mayhem.
You only wanted to meet Tord's friends..that's the only reason you decided to come back into town with him. They seemed like such nice people, too, though you could tell he and Tom did not like each other a bit.
So how did that turn into you standing on the roof of a house, face-to-face with his giant robot, and trying to talk him out of destroying everything?
Part of you regretted coming here. Had you known his true plans...you would've stopped him way sooner.
He frowned as he saw you avert your gaze. "Oh come now..no reason to be sad. How about I make you your own robot? Any color you want! E-Except red, of course..that's-"
"I don't want a damn robot!" You snapped, clenching your fists. "I just...I want a normal life, with a normal brother. If you wanna show off your robot to Paul and Patryk, fine. But don't hurt them."
Edd and Matt perked up as they saw you gesture to them. You noticed their worried gazes and smiled sadly, hoping that they trusted you. You promised them that you'll try to talk sense into Tord.
Right now only you could. The fate of this neighborhood--and possibly the world--was literally in your hands.
"I don't know why you suddenly hate them but...they seem pretty cool." You looked back at your brother. "Whatever grudge you have against them is not worth destroying their lives over. It's never worth it, Tord. So please..let's just leave them alone."
As the robot stood rigidly, Tord looked uncertain now. Of course he noticed how much fun you had with his friends. He may have his own selfish desires but above all else, he wanted you to be happy.
And today you were especially happy to meet them.
Perhaps you were right.
Maybe this wasn't worth it.
"[Y/n]...I-"
"HEY!! SUNSHINE-LOLLIPOPS!"
Startled by the voice, you looked down to see Tom emerge from Edd's house, holding a cube-shaped gadget. "Take a SEAT!!" He threw it towards the robot as it transformed into a large piece of furniture-
Only to bounce harmlessly off its chest.
But something in Tord snapped, forgetting all about your words, as the arm turned into a massive rocket launcher. "Oh, SHUT UP!!!"
"TORD, NO!!" You yelled as he fired a rocket at the house, causing a massive explosion that shook the entire neighborhood. In horror you saw him fire another rocket at Eduardo's house right when the three occupants stepped outside to investigate the commotion.
Although you nearly fell off the roof, you managed to steady yourself as you scowled up at Tord, absolutely livid. "What the hell?!! I thought-!!!"
"Yeaaaah I changed my mind. It's best you forget about him [y/n]. Now let's go."
"You'll have to catch me first, asshole!!"
Racing to the ladder, you avoided his grasp and climbed down. Clearly your refusal to go with him earned his ire. "Ugh, I'm losing my patience with you!! I never should've let you come!!" He chased after you.
But he didn't get too far as the robot abruptly stopped and began punching itself.
"OW!"
You were confused until you noticed Matt pressing random buttons on the control panel, which somehow survived the house's destruction. Edd soon joined in, determined to buy you enough time to get away.
From the cockpit, Tord was being attacked by smaller robot arms, causing the mecha to stumble around. But even though he threatened you, you didn't want to see him get too badly hurt.
So you ran over to Edd and Matt. "Guys, stop. You're gonna kill him!!"
"Sorry [y/n], but I can't forgive him for ruining my face!!" Matt retorted.
"Besides, Tom's dead and we're probably next-" Edd started, only to be interrupted by Eduardo's voice.
"Jon?!"
You three stopped arguing and saw him holding Jon in his arms. But sadly he died a few moments later, succumbing to his injuries.
It was then you all realized..
Tom was still alive.
You then yelped as a laser beam destroyed the control panel, disintegrating it instantly, before noticing the robot retract its arm. "Fine. Stay here for all I care, [y/n]. So long, old friends!" He began to fly away.
With sadness you watched him leave. 'Why didn't you listen?'
For a moment you thought it was all over...
Until Tom emerged from the house rubble, wielding a giant harpoon gun, with tears in his white eyes. "I AM NOT. YOUR. FRIEND!!!!" He screamed as he fired the harpoon at the robot, impaling its head.
You covered your mouth in horror upon seeing it malfunction, soon exploding in a bright flashing light. Off in the distance you could see a figure falling from the sky.
You glanced at Edd and Matt for a moment, nodding to them, before you raced over to wherever your brother fell.
Sure enough, amid all the debris from the robot, you found him laying on a hill. Shockingly enough he was alive, but as you knelt down you realized half his face was scarred; same with his arm.
Paul and Patryk were already there, looking just as horrified. Though they decided to just sift through the wreckage so you could help Tord sit up.
He was a bit dazed, but surprised that you were here. As you reached out to him he flinched, convinced that you were going to slap him for being so stupid and foolish.
He deserved it for basically abandoning you, right?
Instead, however, you..hugged him. "Dumbass, I thought I lost you.."
The waver in your voice broke his heart, though he said nothing as he wrapped his good arm around you, resting his head on your shoulder. His hold on you was tighter than normal.
You were right.
It wasn't worth it.
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Change of Heart - Paul Lahote x Reader
Request: “Hey, since you don't feel comfortable writing about the poly imprinting thing the other anon suggested, I have an idea based on what they said that maybe you could write instead. So instead of the reader imprinting on both, a reaction type of thing for when the reader had a crush on one, but falls in love with the other with time. If it is preference style, you can get to show both situations (crush on Embry, but falls for Paul later and vice versa)”
this is the crush on Embry -> falling in love with Paul version
Having a mother who was obsessed with the beach was the reason that your life turned out the way it did.
That’s where you met your best friend, Embry Call.
His mother worked at the souvenir shop, she frequently brought him to the beach as well. So time after time of running into each other and playing together as kids-- you grew up hanging out all the time.
Despite you living and going to school in Forks, you guys saw each other at minimum three times a week. And as you got older, you only hung out more. Even into young adulthood.
You guys did everything together. School dances when your moms forced you into going, going to see the movies either of you were dying to watch, and simply hanging around doing nothing. It was like you were dating, but if dating meant that you were merely best friends. No kissing, the awkward touching of hands here and there.
But overall, you and Embry connected deeper than anyone else. You would stay up talking all night, picking the brains of one another’s minds. Listening to music together, singing your favorite songs. Sometimes you stared a little too long at his lips, but that was besides the point. You guys were friends.
I had grown quite the crush on Embry, but I knew deep down that it wouldn’t be worth risking the friendship. I could never risk anything awkward between us. I have never felt this comfortable around another person before, and I doubt that I would find it again. So holding Embry close to my heart as a best friend was an idea that I was well acquainted with. I’d grown to accept it.
Though, as time went on, he began to gain some newer friends, which was normal. What high school boy didn’t hang out with other boys? The only issue was, it seemed to tear into your Embry time.
It was fine, really. Embry’s happiness was my top priority. But when he finally introduced me to his friends, I’ll admit I felt pretty excited. To finally meet some new people, to find friendship in those other than Embry.
Embry was always my best friend, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a bigger circle. He spoke so highly of them all, how could I not be thrilled to meet them?
So when I did, I could say that I was both incredibly nervous, yet excited.
“They’re gonna love you.” He reassures me on our way to Jake’s house.
“How do you know that?” I ask, fiddling with the rip in my jeans.
“Because, I love you. You’re the best friend anyone could ask for. They’re gonna think you’re a lot of fun and super cool, because you are.” He smiles that signature Embry Call grin.
Friend. Ugh. Get it together, (Y/N).
“Thank you, Em.” I smile back.
“Of course.”
The drive to Jacob’s was quick from Embry’s considering they both lived in La Push. Pulling up into the house, Embry led me into the garage where they were working on Jacob’s project car, the rabbit. Embry would never shut up about it, his eyes brighter than the sun whenever he talked about how much fun it was, how he enjoyed finally being able to exercise his mechanic skills.
“Hey guys, this is (Y/N). (Y/N), this is Jacob, Jared, Quil, and Paul. We have a few classes together.” He points at them as he says their names.
“Hi.” I wave shyly.
“(Y/N), I know you haven’t been here yet, but don’t worry. I’ll quickly become your favorite. Don’t stress.” Quil walks over, putting his arm around your shoulder and chuckling.
“Oh great, thanks.” I roll my eyes. “You really weren’t kidding, Em. He’s nuts.” I giggle.
“Wow, okay. Thanks for putting in a good word, Embry.” Quil laughs, walking back to where he stood.
I quickly found myself growing comfortable, no wonder why Embry found good company in these guys. They were all so nice, so down to Earth.
One in particular caught my attention, Paul. He was handsome, well built for his age. He seemed to be just as friendly as the rest, too.
I watched as Embry and Jake worked on the engine, peering over the side of the hood.
“Do you know anything about cars?” A charming voice rings out behind me.
I turn over my shoulder and see Paul, I felt a blush begin to rise to my cheeks. Why did he get me so flustered for absolutely no reason?
“Uh, yeah. A little bit. Embry talks my ear off about them, plus I have some cars I like myself. But mechanical wise, they run circles around me.” I smirk.
“Nice. They’re teaching me a lot more, I’m probably at the same level you’re at.” He chuckles, his deep brown eyes piercing into mine.
“No you’re not, (Y/N) still runs circles around you. I’m the best teacher around.” Embry teases.
“Well, you heard it here first. Looks like I know more than you about cars.” I tease.
“Might have to teach me some stuff some time.” He smirks.
I felt the blush creeping onto my cheeks again, so I bent my head down, glancing down at my feet, before returning his gaze.
“Maybe.”
Embry looks between us, discomfort slightly showing on his face, which left me a bit confused.
The drive back to my house was a bit awkward.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“I just... I got the vibe that you and Paul hit it off really well. Which would be fine, but he’s a bit of a... player. I just, I don’t want you to go through that. He’s a great friend, but he’s not a good boyfriend.” Embry gently tells me, looking into my eyes with his chocolate brown ones.
“I see.” I swallow, looking out the window.
I was unsure of what to say. Paul seemed like a nice guy, but Embry wouldn’t steer me wrong.
Over the next few weeks, I began to spend more and more time with them all. I grew to adore them more than I ever thought I would, they were just as important to me as Embry was now, my romantic feelings finally subsiding for him. Quil quickly became the impish friend that Embry told me he’d be, Jared was an absolute clown, Jake was beyond friendly, very caring.
And well Paul... Paul was someone that really left me blushing almost constantly. He hung onto every word that left my mouth, and I did the same for him. He was sweeter than sugar to me, even if he was less of that to the rest of the group and everyone else. He had a certain softness in his voice, in his body language with me. Paul talked to me like I was the only person in the room, but Embry’s warning loomed over me like clouds over the rainy Forks sky.
As time went on, Embry warned me again. He even spoke to Paul about it, apparently. Paul had told me about it one night while we were talking just the two of us. We begun to hang out just the two of us, yet I never let him call it a date as per Embry’s warning.
While he was at first surprised I wouldn’t go on a date with him, he was persistent because he knew how I felt. He knew the connection we had. He was upset that I always reciprocated the flirting, but was always far too hesitant to make any larger moves.
“Embry, I haven’t seen any other girls since you brought her to hang out.”
“I don’t know Paul... I don’t want (Y/N) to be the same as every other girl for you.”
“She’s not, she’s different. You know that. I really like her, I never felt this before. She won’t say yes unless you’re okay with it.”
“Don’t make me regret this, Paul.”
“You won’t.”
Paul would hold my hand when I would get scared during horror movie night. He would pick me up for hangouts for the pure fact that he could drive me home, despite me being able to drive and having my own car. He would give me his hoodies when I would grow cold, whispering about how they looked better on me than him. Paul grew protective over me, always making sure that every adventure we took together, he would be there to make sure I stayed in one piece due to my clumsiness. Paul truly thought I was this fragile piece of glass that could shatter at any moment.
He would surprise me with my favorite drink from Starbucks when I was having a rough day at work. The way he would always have to touch me, whether that be resting an arm around my shoulder, holding my hand, or resting a hand on my thigh or lower back. All of the above sending my nerves in a frenzy. He was protective, slightly jealous. He didn’t like when guys checked me out, so he made it known I was his when he would press a kiss to my lips, then smirking at them, pulling me into him.
I loved the feeling of when he would pull me into his lap, his strong arms wrapping around me. The way he held me at night, like I was the only thing that mattered in the world-- it was a beautiful feeling. It was crazy to hear the stories of the hot-headed boy, because with me he wasn’t like that. He was patient, kind, and loving to no end. Did he have his moments where his temper would flare up? Of course. Everyone does, but I tried to help him get to where he wanted his temper to be. We worked on new ways to cope, we made a lot of progress for him.
He was everything you could ask for in a guy, he was nothing Embry warned me about. Everyone noticed that Paul had softened immensely, he was calmed down. He was “whipped” according to the guys, which I didn’t stop him from kicking Jacob’s ass for that one.
“Damn, Paul. (Y/N) trained you well.” Quil teases, only to be pulled into a headlock.
Our first kiss was sweet, it was gentle. Paul’s large hands held my face like he was holding the most fragile thing in the world. He treated me like a princess.
“Wanna go get lunch before we hang out with everyone? I’m buying.” He offers.
“Sure, but you’re not buying my lunch.” I giggle over the phone.
“Why not? It’ll be a date.” He chimes.
“I don’t know... What’s in it for me?”
“Uh, going on a date with the hottest and sweetest guy in all of La Push.”
“Oh, Jacob’s taking me on a date?” I tease, knowing that would drive him a little nuts.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” He chuckles into the phone.
“I just might be, when’re you picking me up, Lahote?” I giggle.
“I’m actually outside already. Surprise.”
So we went out to lunch, and it was really fun. It always was a fun time with Paul. Going to hang out with the guys was great, though something was off with Jared. He played it off, continuing to tease Paul and I.
Embry grew to support Paul and I, though he told me he was my second pair of eyes. He was watching Paul like a hawk, hoping he wouldn’t break my fragile heart.
But when Jared got sick with mono and stopped coming around, I had to be there for him. He was beyond hurt when he saw Jared hanging out with Sam Uley. Why would he up and leave the group? No explanation, nothing. Jared avoided all of us like the plague.
Paul was devastated. That was his best friend, how could Jared lie to him? How could he ditch him like it was nothing?
The issue was, is that Paul had a hard time expressing his emotions. Even though he was sad about the situation, he grew to be angry. He would huff and puff, pacing the room, yelling about how Jared was being an asshole and how he had no idea what to do.
It was fine, really. You knew that he was going through the ringer and he still treated you like a princess.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t even realize how much I was yelling.” He would apologize, walking over to you sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to calm down after your attempts to do so were futile.
“I understand, you’re going through a rough time right now. But I’m here for you.” I smile, pressing a kiss to his lips.
“I love you.” He presses his forehead against mine.
“I love you, too.”
Chills ran up my spine, I had felt butterflies like never before. Paul gave me feelings I never knew existed.
But soon, he grew feverish. His skin was burning hot and he grew testy. He snapped at everyone, and seemingly for the littlest of things. I thought it was strange, as this was a side of Paul I had never seen. We had to leave Jake’s one night, as he grew incredibly protective over me... almost animalistic. He almost lost it on Quil when he started play fighting with me, I just took him out of there, leaving the guys in the garage. I was met with concerned eyes all around, but I knew Paul wouldn’t hurt me... I just had no idea what had gotten into him.
He held onto me like his life depended on it.
“I’m scared, (Y/N).” He whispered into my neck.
“Why Paul?”
“Jared and Sam... they look like they’re waiting for me. I can’t stand it-- they’re hovering over me all the time. I can’t deal with it.” He huffs.
His feverish skin almost burning mine, just as it had been the last few days.
“I’m sorry Paul, maybe try to avoid them?” I offer up my advice, but it met with a mere sigh from his lips.
“They keep telling me I have to break away from everyone. That I’ll have to leave the friend group, that I’ll have to leave you. They’re lucky I didn’t kick their asses.” He huffs.
His words shocked me, they left me speechless. Why would they be saying that?
“Why would they say that?”
“Hell if I knew. I just ran out of there before I punched someone. I know you don’t like when I hit people.” He chuckles.
“I’d rather you didn’t.” I smirk.
But I couldn’t shake his words, I didn’t understand why they wanted him? Why they wanted him to cut us all off?
He soon fell asleep while I rubbed circles into his back, trying to soothe him once again. I heard my phone go off on the table next to me.
It was Embry asking if I was okay, to which I told him yeah. He didn’t need to know the worries plaguing my brain.
But the next few days, Paul got sicker. He started changing before my eyes, growing insanely fast. His body temperature continued to climb. He told me that Sam and Jared wouldn’t leave him alone, but he was only getting angrier at them and holding onto me tighter.
“They keep saying they don’t want me to hurt you.” He would sigh, his face visibly distressed.
And then told me that I couldn’t see him for a while. He cut off all the guys completely, and I hadn’t heard from him since; he wasn’t even answering my texts.
Embry was worried sick about me, despite everyone being upset at Paul’s sudden change and departure from our lives. He would come and check up on me, absolutely stunned to see the shifting moods I had.
One minute, I was fine and 110% certain that Paul wouldn’t up and leave with no warning, and the next I was a blubbering mess. Embry did his best to make sure that I wasn’t left alone for too long, as he was afraid I would become the next comatose Bella Swan. I mean, kudos to him for caring but that wouldn’t happen. Or maybe just yet, as the longer Paul was gone the less I seemed to care about anything else. It just felt like a part of me was gone, like the puzzle piece fitting my heart together was missing.
So a few days later, I made some of his favorite soup and made my way over to his house.
I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. It was locked so I couldn’t let myself in, but I knew where Paul’s bedroom window was. I peeked through and saw him peacefully sprawled out on his bed, the sight bringing both relief and a smile to my face. But then I heard some whooping noises from the back of his house, causing me to investigate.
I look and see none other than the infamous Sam Uley and Jared Cameron, he looked very different since the last time I had saw him. It felt like forever ago since that night.
“(Y/N), what’re you doing here?” Sam asks with a concerned tone.
“I needed to see Paul.” I demand.
“Go home, (Y/N). He doesn’t want you to come around anymore, he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.” Jared looks deep into my eyes, his words punching me in the gut.
His eyes were hard, as were his features, but I knew he was full of shit. But the words still hurt for just a second. For just a second.
“What the hell are you guys doing to him?” I look at them with eyes set to kill.
“What? What did he tell you?” Jared asks, eyes widening with concern.
“Calm down.” Sam urges, putting a hand out in front of Jared.
“He won’t tell me anything anymore.” I hiss. “But before he stopped answering me he was so afraid of you guys! Always following him around, telling him what to do. Telling him to stay away before he hurts me! Paul would never hurt me, asshole!”
I was fuming now, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop myself. Paul was a tough guy, nothing really broke him like their warnings and constant following did. The sudden changes he was experiencing, he had no idea of what to make of it as he was given no answers.
“I watched him change in front of my very eyes, this is beyond some bullshit about him wanting to leave me, Jared. This is not normal.” I stomp my way over to them.
“(Y/N), stay back.” Sam’s hand gestures up to me. “Jared, calm down.”
“Sam, don’t. I’m done with this, I want my boyfriend back. Jared, what the hell got into you, too?” I raise my voice at him, causing him to flinch.
“Hello? Earth to Jared Cameron? What’s your deal now, asshole?” I yell again, poking his bare chest.
But that’s when rage took over Jared’s body. Something I had never seen before. Jared was always goofy, so nice. I had really only seen Paul so angry, and even then-- this was a different level.
“(Y/N), move back now.” Sam yells.
This time, I listened. I took some hesitant steps back, almost tripping over my own feet.
Jared’s body was almost vibrating at this point, that’s how fast it was shaking. I just stared in awe, Sam’s voice was booming, though.
“(Y/N), move back!” He yells again.
I bring myself to take a few more steps back, but this time I did trip over my feet.
Jared suddenly moved like he was bursting out of his own skin, and in some way he did. Sam pushed him back to create some more distance, but overall in the end-- Jared turned into an enormous wolf. An enormous wolf that snarled at me, but overall didn’t do anything to hurt me.
“What the hell?” I blink my eyes, before running towards Paul house.
That’s when I see Paul running towards the situation.
“Paul, run!” I say, trying to grab a hold onto him, but he gently, but very quickly, shook me off.
He too, burst out of his own skin, turning into a giant wolf.
“What?” I whisper to myself.
I watch as Paul jumps onto Jared, listening to their snarls and growling. I stared astonished, as Sam looks over at me with sympathetic eyes.
After a few moments, Sam orders them to stop. And they did, they walked into the woods and came out with some jean shorts on.
“Come here.” Sam says, helping me off the ground.
“Is this... is this what was going on?” I breathe out.
“Yeah, you’re gonna learn a lot today.” He sighs, clearly unhappy about me knowing.
“I’m sorry.” Jared exhales. “It’s hard to control your anger when this starts, and then I had to lie and everything. I’m just sorry.” He smiles softly.
“All good, understood now.” I smirk.
Though I was still uneasy. What did all this mean?
“Paul?” I merely whisper, looking up at his face.
He had grown a lot, got even more muscular since I had last seen him. But he refused to meet my gaze.
“Paul, please look at me.” I beg, reaching out to grab his forearm.
He hesitates, almost afraid to.
“Paul if you think I’m afraid of you, I’m not. Please look at me.” My pleading voice almost cracking.
I needed to see those deep brown eyes I had loved so much. The ones that brought me endless joy, endless love. But he wouldn’t budge.
“That’s not what I’m afraid of right now.” He chuckles sadly.
He was still looking over my head, refusing to meet my gaze.
“You owe it to the both of you to figure it out, Paul.” Sam nods.
“What? What’re you talking about.” I turn to Sam.
But as I turn my head to look back at Paul, I finally caught his gaze. A small smile crept on his face, until our eyes met.
That’s when his jaw fell slack, his face completely softened. It was like he was stuck in a daze of sorts.
But what I felt was good. I felt like the world had stopped spinning, I felt like Sam and Jared were gone, it was only Paul and I. I couldn’t tear my eyes away as this overwhelmingly great feeling pressurized around my entire body. This was something far more intense than what Paul and I usually had felt, and even before I thought we had intense feelings.
No, this was different.
I had no idea how to even stand anymore, I felt like my knees were going to give out.
“Finally, some good news.” Jared huffs, grabbing both of us out of our trance.
“Okay, please explain things.” I look back to Paul.
“Okay.” He breathes a sigh of relief, before he pulls me into a rib crushing hug, spinning me around.
I felt the air leave my lungs, this actually hurt. He sometimes accidentally hugged me too hard, but this was surreal.
My breath hitched as I whimpered out and “ow” which caused Paul to quickly let go, profusely apologizing.
“Sorry, I forget my own strength. Still not completely used to it.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Okay, so let me get this straight. Vampires run rampant through Forks and the rest of the Olympic Peninsula? Right, so that’s what made you guys phase. And then you can’t be around people for a while because it’s an enormous secret that only the pack and their imprints can know. And Paul imprinted on me, but I still don’t know what that exactly means, but we can go over that. But then, you guys protect everyone from said vampires and destroy them. Now you’re super warm and strong and the rest of the group you expect to join soon? Because you all have it in your blood?” I ask, looking at Sam.
“Well, you seem to really listen. But yes, It’s likely that Quil and Jacob will, we don’t know so much about Embry but it’s possible. Has he been acting strange?” Sam raises an eyebrow.
“He texted me about a fever earlier, but he’s been normal enough.”
“Well, you suddenly disappearing might set him off.” Jared chuckles.
“What? I can’t see him anymore?”
“Not until he phases, any of them. The secret is important.” Sam looks at me with empathetic eyes, Paul’s hand immediately resting on my lower back.
“I have to disappear out of my best friends’ lives? I don’t even phase!”
“It doesn’t matter, it’s too much of a risk right now. Over time, we’ll see what happens.”
My heart sank, how would they forgive me for disappearing indefinitely? For blowing them off? I was growing anxious at the thought.
“They’ll forgive you when they understand, it just takes time.” Sam nods.
“Okay.” I whisper.
“Alright, Paul. Explain imprinting.” Jared smirks, looking over at us.
“Right now?” Paul looks at Sam, but Sam only nods his head, signaling for him to begin explaining.
“Paul? Just talk to me, we always talk about anything and everything.” I lay my hand on his comfortingly.
He seemingly melted at my touch, just as always.
“Well, the thing is, it’s not our choice. And I want you to hear me out before you say anything, please.”
“Of course.” I grew nervous at his words, but I knew that was nervous, too.
“Well, so it happens to some of us, not all of us get so ‘lucky,’ if you will. It happens when you see a certain person for the first time after you phase. When you look into their eyes, it’s just... it’s pure bliss. You just know, you know it’s your soulmate. But, that doesn’t mean romantic, it could be platonic. In reality, it’s up to them. But for us, you’d do anything, be anything for them. A friend, protector, a lover. We just... we need to be near them. I need to be near you, and I always did, even before all of this complicated shit. I was always protective, but I can’t imagine I’ll ease up, it’ll probably get worse so I’m sorry in advance, but overall, I want you to know that you hold the reigns.” He softly smiles, looking into my eyes with a pleading look.
“Oh, I see.” I murmur, looking down at my hand for a second, trying to process the situation.
His face fell, and it looked like someone punched him in the gut, Jared and Sam grew a bit worried.
“Wait, that wasn’t me rejecting you. I’m just... I’m thinking. It’s just a lot to take in. I love you, more than anything. I’m glad it was me and not someone else, I am. As long as you’re happy about that. But I just need to understand it. I feel a physical pull to you, so I feel it, too.” I smile softly, thinking about when he refused to look into my eyes.
“I’m very happy that it was you.” He grabs onto my hand.
“So why didn’t you want to look into my eyes?” I mumble.
“Because I didn’t want to bare the thought of it not happening with you, though I don’t think I could change anything about us, ever. Imprint or not, (Y/N), you’re stuck with me.” He chuckled. “But only if you want me.”
“Of course I want you.” I nudge his shoulder.
After that, it was just playing the waiting game, waiting for my best friends to phase, too. I was left with so many calls and texts I couldn’t answer. Embry showing up to my house, knocking to no avail. Leaving, sadness deep in his eyes. Though, he eventually became angry. I knew he was going to phase soon, I watched from afar how he was growing more hostile, and how he was changing physically. Soon, I’d have my best friend back.
Paul was right, he grew more protective, more worried about my every move. It was clear to us all that he was more protective than Sam and Jared were over Emily and Kim. It was easier to understand everything with Kim and Emily being apart of this all, as they knew where I was coming from.
But, it was the waiting game that was killing me. Thankfully, Paul was around to pick up the pieces after leaving my best friends behind, no notice given. He held me when I grew sad, feeling guilty for having to leave their lives.
Paul was unwavering, loving me endlessly. __________________________________ Word Count: 4796
#paul lahote#paul lahote x reader#paul lahote imagine#embry call#embry call x reader#quil ateara#jared cameron#sam uley#jacob black#leah clearwater#seth clearwater#twilight
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thinking about it follows a normal amount
this movie portrayed the attachment of the deadly entity like an std which is very interesting and a unique take but what i want to talk about is intent... like it started with a guy named jeff taking jay out on a date and then after having sex with her informing her that something will follow her and all she has to do in order to NOT die is pass it along to someone else by having sex with them and btw if she dies it will come after him... and he did this by cloroforming her and saying “sorry” and tying her up to make her believe him and see before dropping her off back home... the sex was consensual but he passed on his death sentence and staved off his own, which we understand is shitty and deplorable. and then there’s paul and greg. paul has had a crush on jay since they were kids and has been visibly jealous of jay going out with other guys since the onset. greg and jay apparently had a history. greg did not believe jay when she said something was following her but seemed to genuinely want to help her and so he agreed to sleep with her. they obviously have some history there and he does perhaps have some latent affection for her but it’s not the same as paul, our jealous weasel, offering himself up as if to take on the burden, but what he’s really been wanting this whole time is jay. like, you could argue that it doesn’t matter because they’re both consenting adults and he understands what’s going to happen and what matters is that she survives. but the intent is not the same as it was... the movie deliberately does not portray his having sex with jay and jay having sex with greg as the same. and then there’s the fucking ending where they... have sex after presumably defeating the entity? which i didn’t understand if it was a pity thing, or a “well i guess you really are a great guy!” even though jay has shown no interest in paul WHATSOEVER in this entire film... and then they are apparently in a relationship? why? WHY? why does it feel like the narrative is... somehow rewarding paul? what did he do that her other friends didn’t? maybe i’m taking the ending too seriously but there was no indication that, like, jay is into him emotionally and it just feels... compensatory in a way. which is why i think the intent matters. but i guess that doesn’t matter because surprise the entity presumably isn’t dead and was following them before it cut to black which presumably means that paul is going to die. which im fine with but like. do you see my point. is this anything. like i get that sex means different things to different people etc etc but like? paul? PAUL? when greg seemed to genuinely care about her even after they had sex so it seemed to me didn’t do it JUST to get into her pants? like. ugh.
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How would the wolf pack react to a reader that’s scared of dogs. Literally they are in love but just have had horrible experiences in the past.They can’t just NOT phase :(
Thank you!
Actually they can, the Cullens just need to beat it. And they aren’t dogs so it’s not really an issue.
Also as much as I love getting request for these guys the answer for this is the same in every situation. No one in the pack phases in front of a human especially their imprint (ugh gross) we saw with Sam and Emily how that ends up going.
Bella of course, as with everything else in these god forsaken books is an exception and Jacob and Paul miraculously don’t hurt when they phase with anger. Whatever. They make it pretty clear that they distance themselves quite a bit before actually trying to phase and even with someone as “hot headed” as Paul he doesn’t phase just whenever he’s upset or he would have when Jacob broke his nose. He literally only phases so Bella figures out that Jacob is a wolf and not forced to be in a cult. Honestly I can’t remember if that part is actually in the books because I really do be blocking stuff out and also I can’t check because I’m writing while my daughter is sleeping next to me. Paul is also around Rachel all the time and as the one with the supposed worst control no one is worried about her being in danger.
The loved one is safe and has nothing to worry about. They would tell you about the tribes legends being true and that’s how you find out. If you’re in danger and you see giant wolves and you start panicking they will take care of the threat and come back to you in their normal form.
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The Trojan War from Above
genre: i have no idea LMAO, oneshot ig?
description: Percy, Thalia and Nico ascend to Olympus to seek help from the gods for Percy's Trojan War project.
notes: hera reconciled with the demigods after TOA so they're cool now, most of the gods are pretty much casual with the saviors of olympus, post-TOA
warnings: none i can see, but lmk if you catch something via asks or dms!
word count: 1,157
"Professor Paulin assigned us a project, and we need your help."
Percy's voice boomed all across the throne room, while the Olympians -- except for Zeus, which was momentarily replaced by the Zeus Rock™ that was sitting on the King of Heaven's throne in the center of the room.
"Um, ok?"
"Son, what kind of help do you mean-"
"Anything to help Sally Jackson the Great's son!"
"It feels rather gratifying that you approach us - and I mean me, of course - rather than my daughter-"
"Well, unless you've come to do a project on agriculture, I'm afraid I can't-"
"Hard pass, Peter Johnson."
"Ugh, is it that puny punk who saved us from being dethroned again? I swear he's here every week for dinner-"
"Oh my, it's the male lead of the most romantic story of all time!"
"You're exaggerating again, Ditey."
"Am not!"
"Well, this should be interesting."
"Oh, it's that kid who set off my alarms in that god-awful amusement park - get it, god-awful? 'Cause we're gods?"
"Hello, hero."
"Hi, Aunt Hera." Percy glanced back at his friends for support. Thalia gave him a thumbs up while Nico simply shrugged. Somehow that simple movement expressed sorry man you're on your own. "Um, so we -- I mean I -- have to retell the Trojan War in my words. Except I don't really have enough concrete evidence to completely retell the story, so I was hoping you could...um...supply the missing and perhaps the blurrier parts?"
"You'd think I blessed Homer enough to accurately narrate that war, but noooo he just had to skip the start. Ugh." Apollo complained, holding the back of his hand to his forehead, then sat up abruptly. "Actually, you'd think the Greeks were living in peace, but noooo you vain goddesses just had to fight over your looks. Double ugh."
"As if you're not vain, Apollo!" Aphrodite protested, her fist clenched on the armrest of her throne.
"Yeah, but that was before I became Lester. And please, if we're not in a formal situation do call me Lester. Now can we make this quick, I have to visit Aeithales later."
"Can we please return to the situation at hand? My son is in dire need of our help!" Poseidon redirected the counsel's attention to Percy, who felt increasingly small as 11 pairs of eyes turned to him once more, 12 if you include the sunglasses his dad had put on the Zeus Rock™.
"Okay, so, uh I've got notebooks here and stuff, if you could just write down what you know-"
"Um, Percy? One teensy little problem?" Thalia tapped her friend and cousin's shoulder lightly. When Percy turned to her, she said, "New Rome U needs you to cite a source. I know NRU is pretty lax about the gods and whatever, but Prof Paul is mortal. He's not just sweep this under the carpet if your paper says 'source: Olympian Gods'."
Everyone's shoulders slumped as they took this in consideration. Even the Zeus Rock™ seemed to slip slightly lower on its throne.
"I have a solution to that." Athena announced, and everyone let out a sigh of relief. From thin air, she summoned a leather-bound book. The cover was branded and gold-leafed with The Trojan War from Above by Athena Chase, PhD, EdD, EngD, DProf, DArch, ThD, DDiv, ScD, LitD. "If everyone here could just lend me their memories about that war -- and no, Apollo, I'm not asking you to give up your memories, I'm asking you to share, which you should be familiar with now." She shot down her brother, who was starting to raise his hand.
For a few beats the entire throne room was silent, which was probably the quietest it had been since the completion of the dodecatheon. Even Bessie the Ophiotaurus kept to himself, though he usually mooed, hence the very rare silence of the Olympian throne room.
"Alright, here it is. Godly knowledge about the Trojan War condensed in a portable book. Pretty hefty, huh?"
"Um, Theney, wouldn't it be...unwise to share such knowledge with mortals? We're revealing secrets here. Doesn't that go against everything you stand for?" Ares huffed. "Besides, I should be the one offering this to you, punk. I'm the god of war, after all."
"I'm a god of war too! And besides, as long as none of you included your personal comments, it should be fine. You didn't include any right? Right?"
Silence. Again.
The three demigod were having a silent conversation using sign language -- a habit they picked up from Hearthstone, one of Annabeth's cousin Magnus's friends. The were huddled closely to each other, so that the gods couldn't see their hands.
Am I seeing right? Is that Chase on the cover? Nico signed, his eyes bewildered.
I think so. I see it too. Thalia replied.
Should we let Annabeth know? Percy asked, his teeth clenched. I mean, she's always wanted this. A complete family. She... Percy faltered. I saw it when we passed by the sirens, years ago. This could either make or break her day, maybe even her life.
Annabeth's not that dumb, Percy. Thalia scoffed as she signed.
Yeah but- Percy's sign was cut short by Athena's voice.
"Normally I would request to redo this, but it's getting late and we all have plans. Here you go, Perseus. I ask you to be careful, this book can very well start another war if it's in the wrong hands." The book flew towards the demigods' general direction, and Percy leaped to catch it.
"Uh, thank you, my lady. I'll uh, make you guys proud and get a good score on this project! Please send my regards to Grammy." Percy bowed along with Thalia and Nico. They were about to leave when Apollo shrank down to human size, simultaneously transforming his toga to jeans and a t-shirt, and patted Percy on the back.
"I'll go with you guys, I'm going to Meg's." He pulled a pair of glasses from his pocket and handed them to Percy. The frames were gold and engraved with literary and solar symbols. "This should help with reading your book. If you're ever in need of help to express yourself in this project, hit me up. God of literature at your service! Just don't call when I'm with Meg, alright?"
Percy hadn't even considered his dyslexia. He accepted the glasses with a thankful smile and said, "Uh, thanks LA." I probably won't need -- or want -- your help anyway, he added inwardly.
"No prob."
"Oh, what's this?" Annabeth picked up a book from Percy's shelf. She had never seen this book before, and it seemed expensive, what with the leather cover and gold embossing.
The Trojan War from Above by Athena Chase, PhD, EdD, EngD, DProf, DArch, ThD, DDiv, ScD, LitD
Annabeth only knew one person -- well, not exactly a person -- with those doctorates.
"Mom," she whispered.
sources: Zeus Rock™ HC, Percy calling Rhea Grammy HC and Trojan War project HC from @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo; i saw an HC where Percy asks how to cite The Olympians as a veritable source but i'm not sure if it's from caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo as well but if you know where it's from please let me know i beg you; pretty yellow dividers from @skylightlantern
#riordanverse#pjoverse#pjo#trials of apollo#the olympians#percy jackson#thalia grace#nico di angelo#annabeth chase#magnus chase#hearthstone#poseidon#hera#hephaestus#hermes#aphrodite#athena#apollo#artemis#ares#dionysus#demeter#zeus rock™#reblog this and guess which god said what after the first paragraph in the caption#pjo oneshot
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Imagine | A Baby? (David)
Imagine David having to raise you.
Requested by @Davidsmate24 on Wattpad.
~
The night started as normal, the boys hanging around the boardwalk until they grew hungry. So, they tracked down a few unsuspecting people and feasted.
Of course, something unexpected happened.
When David was about to attack a woman, she screamed, "No, Y/n! Don't hurt her!"
David, naturally, paid her outburst no mind and drained her of blood.
Then, he heard a cry.
A baby's cry.
This was not good. The Lost Boys never hurt children: it was just an unspoken rule. David frowned as he investigated the noise.
He discovered a babe wrapped in a soft f/c blanket lying by a bunch of bags on the ground. This must be the 'Y/n' that the lady was screaming about.
Paul, Marko, and Dwayne come beside him and stare down at the child.
"What are we gonna do?" Marko asks, tilting his head.
David cusses, "I have no idea."
~
Long story short, they took you in and began raising you as their own.
It wasn't easy for them to get accustomed to you.
~
David stares at the screaming kid with irritation etched into his features. "What the hell is wrong with it?!"
At his tone, she begins to cry out again, louder this time. He runs a gloved hand through his hair and breathes out heavily.
Dwayne speaks up, "Maybe she's hungry?"
"Marko, food," David demands.
Marko frowns, "What do babies eat?"
"I don't know, think of something!" David growls, sending the younger vampire scampering away.
The child watches the curly blond leave before wailing again.
"Ugh, make it stop!" He seethes, glaring at the nuisance.
"Maybe pick it up?" Paul suggests.
David curls his lip, "No way. You hold it."
"Hey, it's not my responsibility."
"Why is it my responsibility?"
"Because you killed its mom."
Dwayne intervenes, "Can you stop calling her an it? She has a name."
"What was it again?"
Dwayne sighs, "Y/n."
"Oh right."
David, having enough of the crying, finally bends down and scoops the child into his arms.
To everyone's surprise, Y/n stops crying.
Marko walks in, holding up a bag, "I found some baby food!"
"Finally," David sighs, and hands the kid over to Marko and Dwayne. Although he'd never admit it, he actually liked holding the baby in his arms.
~
Eventually, you grew into a cute toddler. Marko and Paul loved playing with you and teaching you knew things, like how to speak and walk and draw, while Dwayne was determined to teach you the alphabet and simple math.
David was like the overseer, and somehow your favourite out of all the boys. He would read to you and show you cool 'magic' tricks and tuck you into bed each morning.
The boys all grew attached to you, and loved you as much as they would have their own flesh and blood.
~
When you discovered that the boys were vampires, you were unaffected, having not understood what vampires were in the first place. They told you when you were younger, so that it wouldn't be such a shock.
They told you that you could turn when you were eighteen, which seemed so far away at the time.
Currently, at seventeen years of age, you've become a bit of a rebel. Therefore, it's been harder for the boys to keep you out of trouble.
You sneak out during the middle of the day to explore Santa Carla without the boys watching your every move. You've even been hanging around the comic book shop much to the annoyance of David.
He's become so protective of you, demanding that you stop seeing Edgar and Alan, claiming that they're 'dangerous'.
You can understand where he's coming from, seeing as the Frog brothers are determined self proclaimed vampire hunters. The fact that you're going to turn into a vampire in a few months would make them hate you.
David hates waking up to find you missing, although you always leave notes to tell him where you are.
Paul and Marko usually feed your rebellious side, being the fun uncles of the group. Dwayne is more of the calm, but still cool, uncle.
David, on the other hand, is your father figure, having taken up the mantle when he 'found' you on the beach.
You even call him 'dad' sometimes.
In the best sense, you and the Lost Boys make a tightly knit family, willing to do anything for each other.
~
You enter the comic book shop with a smile, sunlight pouring in after you. Edgar and Alan look up from the books in their hands to return the smile.
"Hey, guys, what's up?"
Alan crosses his arms and leans against the counter, "Not much. It's been quiet lately."
"No vampires?" You tease, a sly smirk forming on your lips. Deep inside, you're terrified that one day they'll find what they've been looking for.
If they did find out the Lost Boys' secret, there's no doubt that they would try something foolish.
You really don't want that to happen.
Edgar glares at you, "Not yet, but we're ready."
"I know that. You and your crosses and garlic."
Alan adds, "Don't forget the holy water."
You roll your eyes, but cringe on the inside. Holy water is the only thing that can actually harm the boys, apart from sunlight.
Relax, they have no clue.
Sitting on the counter next to Alan, you look at the fading sunlight. You snuck out before sunset to throw off the Frog's suspicion, just in case.
"What are you doing tonight, Y/n?"
You turn to Alan and shrug, "No idea. Probably just hang around here, if that's okay?"
"Got nothing better to do?" Edgar questions.
"Jeez, now that I think of it, I've got dinner with the Queen! How could I forget that?" You laugh, "What do you think, Eddie?"
Alan suggests, "We could always go to that concert, close up shop early.
"Ooh, yes! I wanted to catch that concert! It's gonna be awesome!"
You look to Edgar with wide puppy dog eyes, "C'mon, what'd you say?"
He doesn't say anything, simply sighs and nods. You laugh in victory and leap up, "Let's go, losers!"
~
The concert is amazing!
You've been to a bunch of different concerts before, but never with the Frog brothers. They kinda just stand there and maybe nod along, but it's nice to be with friends.
In the distance, you hear motorcycles revving.
Crap. I hope they don't ruin everything.
You nudge Edgar, "We should head back."
"Why?" He frowns in confusion.
"It's nothing, let's just go."
You push through the crowd on your way to the shop. As you break free from the swarm of people, a different group blocks your way.
An angry David leads them.
"Oh, uh, heya Pops," you mumble, looking downwards. "Fancy seeing you here."
"Where were you?" He asks.
"Out."
"I know that, I want to know where you were."
You gulp. Technically, you're not supposed to be hanging around the Frog brothers.
"I was around. I went to the concert."
Just then, two familiar brothers arrive behind you, "These guys bothering you?"
"No-" you start to say, but a glare from David silences you.
"The Frogs," the head vampire growls with a smile.
This is not good
"Why are you hanging around my daughter?" He takes a drag from his cigarette.
Edgar and Alan freeze. They hadn't known about you're fatherly attachment to David.
"Daughter?" Edgar asks disbelievingly.
He nods.
They look to you and you nod, "Yeah, this is my adopted dad, David. David, you know Edgar and Alan."
"You're one of them!" Edgar accuses. He's been suspecting the Lost Boys of being murderous vampires for some time.
"No!" At your outburst, David frowns dangerously. "I mean, kind of. I don't know," you try to explain.
Alan scoffs and starts to walk away, "Don't bother coming back to the shop. You're not welcome."
Your heart breaks as they leave.
Tears fall from your face as Marko wraps you in a warm embrace, "It's okay, kid."
"It's not okay!" You yell, wrenching away from them.
You run to the beach, away from it all. The silence is a welcomed experience. You turn when you sense a presence.
"David, why did you do that?!"
"You have to realize that they don't care about you! You know what they'd do if they knew for a fact that you were raised by vampires?! They'd kill you, Y/n. This is for the best."
You hate to admit it, but he's right. You hate it when he's right.
He hands you a cigarette and lights it for you, "I'm sorry, hun. I know you wanted to be their friend."
"They're the only ones who wanted anything to do with me."
"Not true," David chastises, "Marko, Paul, and Dwayne love hanging with you."
"It's not the same."
He sighs heavily, "You're right. We're your family: we're never gonna run away like that, no matter what."
You hiccup, trying to stop the tears. He draws you close and hugs you, "Love you, sweetie."
"Love you too, dad."
#the lost boys#80s movies#x reader#vampire#David#female reader#reader insert#fanfic#lost boys#frogs#Alan#Edgar
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How would the Lost boys react to having a motherly type of s/o?
OH MY GOD I DIDN'T KNOW TUMBLR POSTED THIS UNFINISHED! UGH STUPID APP! Okay, redo!
Cuuute. The boys could certainly use a motherly touch around, even Max had said that when he wanted to turn Lucy. For this I am gonna be writing a female s/o, if you ever want otherwise always be sure to specify ahead of time otherwise DM me and I’ll be sure to correct it. I love the idea one behind the scenes with the boys, after the late night partying and wild blood orgies. I mean, let's be realistic here- those guys probably smell like cigarettes and ass. That cave is no doubt absolutely filthy as hell, and I don’t think they’ve cleaned up a day of their afterlife.
Lost Boys with a Motherly Fem!S/O
David
Now David isn’t exactly the type to be told what to do in almost any scenario. Well, almost. But even then he still prefers the majority of the control. It’s going to be a challenge to get anything done with him. Any sort of lectures or advice tend to fall on deaf ears simply because he and the boys have taken care of themselves for so long. Your best method of choice? STEALTH
I’m serious, you gotta be sneaky with this boy. He’ll wake up to you cleaning the hotel because you had assumed it was still daylight, or sweeping around when they go on hunts. Don’t fuck with the cobwebs, its an aesthetically pleasing decoration! Frankly, he’s just a brat who doesn’t like change. It’s gotten to the point however, where he can’t exactly stop you so he just decides to be a butt about it. Take-out trash litter the hotel lobby, he’ll even leave out half-full open containers and try to get some real maggots up in there. Not if you have anything to say about it! Sometimes he wonders how you can keep it as clean as you do.
You have no idea how absolutely rank a pack of teenage vampires can be. Especially with unwashed clothes. Seriously, David and Paul’s boots could make rats gag, the stank of unwashed vamp toes is gnarly. That can be a bit of a fight. Well someone has to get all those bloodstains out! What do you think they just vanished the next day? None of the boys want clean clothes, especially David. According to them you can't be badass vampires and have fresh pants. He’ll even hide his jacket from you on laundry day. How is he supposed to instill fear in the hearts of mortals when his jacket smells like FUCKING LAVENDER?
God help you if you try to make him bathe. The only way he’d concede is if you really went all out. Play to his ego, its the best way to get him to cooperate. After all, what man doesn’t want to be a king for a day. Especially one such as David. Once you finally, FINALLY get him in, then it's a fight to get him out. He’ll let off soft grunts when you massage shampoo through his scalp, leaning his head back with low, grumbling moans. Sometimes he’ll have you join him, even if you aren’t undressed. Yeah, he doesn’t care if you have your clothes on, time to get in. It's hotter when he sees your shirt tightly clinging to your bodice, although he'll huff that you had a bra underneath. If you try to peel off the soggy articles he won't let you. After all, if you got to strip him down, he gets to do the same to you. He'll take his time, and keep in mind the water isn't about to be clean for much longer.
Despite his protests, and he’d never admit it to the rest of the pack, but he really does love having someone caring for him. Being spoiled by his lover has some advantages, especially after a stressful day. Just laying back, having you rub his shoulders for a good minute, maybe suggesting he come over to your apartment and let you cook him a real meal for once. Sure you’ll be telling him how he needs to be more careful when he goes on hunts, but he can handle that much. You’re his precious doll, if it means a few lectures from you then he’ll put up with it.
Dwayne
Dwayne is kind of the silent brother bear of the group so it’s a relief when he has someone who wants to take care of him. It makes him chuckle when you fret over him. Honey, he can fly, he’s not going to fall off the roof. Even if he did, it wouldn’t kill him! He’s lost count how many times you subtly, or not so subtly, toss around the subject of a helmet when he rides around. You’ll even try using persuasive ideas such as having it custom painted, maybe adding some spikes- anything just wear a stupid helmet! Again, he reminds you the threat of cracking his head open wasn’t exactly that daunting
When you’re on a cleaning spree he tends to stay out of your way. Granted he tried to help once, but you immediately shooed him out. You got it, just go sit down and quit futzing with stuff. On laundry day he’s a bit stubborn, but as long as you don’t wash his leather jacket, he’ll be fine. Seriously, do not touch his jacket. He cannot stress enough how bad it is to try and use water and soap to clean a leather jacket. NO. No touchy! So he’ll just sit in his underwear (personally I think it’d be boxer briefs) on the couch clinging to his jacket while you go off to the laundromat a few blocks over. Eventually you bought him lounge pajama pants for when you do laundry trips. At first he didn’t want to but… well they have a badass puma on them. It’d be rude to not wear it if you went through all that trouble to get that for him.
Unlike the other three, Dwayne doesn’t need much bribery to get in the tub. DO you have ANY IDEA the last time he had a god damn shower? He misses it, he doesn’t exactly like smelling like parfum de cul (kudos to any of you who know what that means ;) ). Oh just watch him sink into the tub as you massage his luxurious mess of dark hair, you swear sometimes he audibly purrs when you do. Its one of the few times Dwayne will let himself be completely vulnerable. He won’t necessarily force you to join him, but he would certainly love it you have your cute butt nestled between his legs where he could lather you up. But, I mean, that’s entirely up to you to refuse your ripped, completely naked boyfriend eyeing you up.
When he gets injured or sick, which you never expected that he could, you immediately go into hyperdrive. While he’d rather be out riding with the guys, he can’t help but love being pampered by his princess who always treats him like a king. You’ll shove him into Star’s old bed and demand he stay put, wiping his forehead down with a cold cloth. One would assume that someone with no body heat left would get a fever. Actually, it makes it worse. He won’t DIE from any illness, but it sure does suck when he gets them. Usually a few feedings will heal him up within a day, so you’ve started smuggling bags from blood drives and keeping them in a little cooler for him. Granted you only get him A or B blood, but he still appreciates all the effort you go to just for him.
Paul
Paul loves it up until you make him do things he doesn’t want to. Typical guy. He DIED in a freaking bath tub, why the hell would you want to put him back in one?! It would take either a serious amount of strength or bribing to get him into one.
“It doesn't even have holy water Paul, just normal, plain, stupid water! You smell like a rat’s ass, will you please just get in?”
“I’d rather smell like ass!”
Yes, he may even try to bolt out of the room buck naked. Fuck you, try to catch him now! Did you hide his clothes?!
Your best bet is to play to his most vulnerable side: horny. Sure he refuses to get in the bath on his own, but add you naked covered in bubbles and it just became the best place to be. The blonde won’t even sulk when you’re sudsing up his hair because you’re too distracted to notice he’s about to cop a feel. He’ll just laugh like an idiot when you get mad, after all you put him in here in the first place. There will probably be tub sex, because dammit he deserves something for being such a good boy. Surprisingly he actually loves it when you use the hair dryer on him. It feels amazing, he doesn’t exactly get warm anymore so the sensation of heat rushing through freshly cleaned hair is just incredible
Paul is not a fan of laundry day, just like David. Again, you gotta chase him down. He’ll tease you the whole time though.
“Babe if you wanted to just rip my clothes off me all you had to do was ask.”
You only leave him in his underwear because he doesn’t have anything else to change into. You never realized how much of a pain in the ass white pants were until you met him. Why the hell did he even have white pants in the first place? They show every damn stain! Paul will probably come with you to the laundromat. Its three in the morning, who cares if someone sees him in his boxers? Big deal! He’d even offer to go nude. You managed to find a pair of pajama pants and a band t-shirt he could wear on laundry day because this ass refuses to buy any other clothes.
Paul thinks it’s absolutely adorable the way you dote on him. It’s a pain in the butt, but nothing is better than the tiny notes you leave for him when you go out. Or when you surprise the coven with a bunch of tupperware dishes full of real home cooked meals. Yeah being ragged on half the day is never fun but he knows that the only reason you do that is you care so much for him. You almost died when you thought he’d been killed, it was fair you got a bit over protective after. Besides, you were still his ride or die baby who did anything for him. Hell, last Valentine’s day you even went all around Santa Carla until you found someone who made him a mother fuckin Gene Simmons teddy bear, with the tongue out and everything. Paul loves you, nags and all
Marko
Probably one of the only boys to be a bit more cooperative when it comes to mothering him. After all, he’s the one being spoiled. It’s precious when you fret over him on a hunt out, warning him to avoid any hunters, fly safe, please don’t jump off any bridges. He’ll just hug you tight and assure you he’s gonna be fine. Yeah you’ll go one about how he should have a helmet when riding or raising concern when he tries something of questionable origin from the boardwalk vendors. But most of the time he just kind of tunes you out and smiles until you’re done.
He’s a sneaky boy, you oughta know that by now. You want him to take a bath? Only if you join him. You want to brush his hair out? Sure he’ll sit still… for ten kisses. Laundry day? Fine but he gets to come with. It’s hard not to laugh at him crouched up on the top of a dryer with his knees to his chest in only his underwear watching you throw in his pants and socks. He can’t help but grin when you throw him a side eye because of the stains all over his white shirt. Sheesh, him and Paul with the white clothes. Again, please please PLEASE don’t wash his jacket. You will ruin it. He doesn’t care if you bombard it with air freshener until his sorry ass smells like Hawaiian Breeze, but do not ever wash it
It’s adorable the lengths you’ll go to for him. Last year when he told you they were just gonna have some hot wings and beers for Thanksgiving you flipped. Next thing they know you had them come over to your apartment as soon as the sun went down to a full spread. Paul actually ended up hugging you too. It looked like something out of a catalog. Two fatass turkeys filled to the brim with homemade stuffing, easily four pounds of mashed potatoes, gravy, bread rolls, the whole fucking thing! And veggies. Nasty. Sure the corn on the cob was bitchin, but asparagus? NO. Yeah you made Marko put some on his plate and half the time he just kept pushing his peas around until Paul flung one at him. Then it was a silent veggie war. After that they pretty much came over for any holiday. He’d be all over you just gushing over how happy he is that you went through so much hard work for him, for them. Even Max did fuckall besides what he had to, the guy wanted to toot his own horn about dad of the year but sucked ass at it.
They start coming over so often that you bought black out curtains for every window in your house. Even during the day they could sleep in your guest room without fear of the sun. Well, the guys could. You had him tucked into your own room, still sleeping with his feet to the headboard for that upside down sense and his arms tightly pressed to his chest. He absolutely loves how much you care for him, especially after so many decades of being a filthy biker boy who feasted on the living. Even his vampirism didn’t send you away. You’d even keep a mini fridge in your room stocked with blood bags in case he craved a midday snack. Sometimes he’d awaken to you sleeping beside him and just savor those quiet moments with his baby. Maybe for Christmas this year he’d offer you the best gift he could think of. Who needs a wedding ring when you can offer an eternity with your angel instead?
#lost boys 1987#lost boys imagine#the lost boys#lost boys fanfiction#lost boys#fanfic#fanfiction writing#fanfiction#lost boys paul#80s movies#lost boys dwayne#lost boys david#lost boys fluff#vampire fluff#fluff imagine#fluff#cute#motherly#lost boys vampires#vampire boys#vampires#vampire#lost boys marko#answered#answered asks#answear#send asks#send me asks#character asks
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Spring in Hatchetfield (The Guy Who Didn’t like Musicals, Paul Matthews)
It’s been quite a while since I’ve written a snzfic, so here we go!
Paul sniffed uncomfortably as he walked into the office. It was a beautiful late spring day. Nice and warm with a small breeze. Perfect, if you weren't allergic to pollen. And even the less than five minute walk from his car to the office was enough for his allergies to start bothering him.
“Morning Paul!” Melissa beamed at him. Paul returned the smile, rubbing absentmindedly at his nose.
“Morning Melissa!” he said. To his frustration, his nose was already itching quite badly. He hadn’t taken the antihistamine he still had because it made him annoyingly sleepy. He stepped into the elevator and pressed the button to the third floor. As soon as the doors closed he immediately pressed his wrist against his nose, trying to will the now spiking itch in his nose away. It didn’t work though. “H’nxxx! H’xnntc!” two tightly stifled sneezes escaped him. Paul sighed and got out of the elevator. He headed to his cubicle and practically fell into his chair. “He’Xxcn!” he barely managed to stifle the sneeze.
“Bless you!”
Paul jumped, surprised by the sudden voice to his left. He looked over and saw Bill sitting next to him at his own desk.
“Thank you.” he muttered. Looking over to the window on his other side, he saw to his dismay that it was opened widely. On one hand, he knew he should close it. Otherwise this day would not be very fun. On the other hand, the window was in Ted’s cubicle. Which meant he’d have to ask Ted. And there was a good chance Ted would just refuse anyway. So, he resigned himself to a day of suffering.
He wasn’t even an hour into the day when he thoroughly regretted that thought. His breath hitched again and he quickly turned away from Ted, who’d been complaining about one thing or another. “Hu’exxnt! H’nnnx!” he couldn’t help but wince a little as the last sneeze scraped against his throat. “S’cuse me.” he mumbled.
“Ew, gross.” Ted said. Paul rolled his eyes, fighting against the embarrassed flush working it’s way up his face.
“That’s an interesting way to say bless you. It’s because you keep your window open so wide.” he complained. Ted scoffed in response.
“Not my problem, should have taken anti whateverthefuck.” he said.
“Antihistamine.” Paul deadpanned. Ted waved his hand.
“That. Sorry dude but if I close the window I’ll choke because of this goddamn heat.” Ted said a little more apologetically. Paul sighed and was about to respond when he was forced to turn away again.
“Hu’Achhew! H’nXxct!” he didn’t manage to stifle the first sneeze.
“Bless you!” Charlotte said, who’d just entered the room. Paul jumped, not expecting her.
“Thank you.” he responded, rubbing his nose again. He sat down again, grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose for what felt like the tenth time that day (and judging from the glare that Ted gave him he’d been doing it more than enough to be annoying) “He’xXC!” rubbing his eyes, he made up his mind. “I’m going to Beanies. Anyone want anything?” he asked.
“GET ME A CHAI TEA!” Ted yelled.
It was a short walk to the cafe. He’d normally enjoy the weather, but now he was just focussed on getting to the place as soon as he could. When he practically reached the entrance to Beanies the itch in his nose spiked again and he had to steady himself on the doorframe.
“H’nnXc! H’Xxch! X’xxchew!” he groaned.
“Bless!” Emma called from inside. He looked up at her and smiled.
“Hi Emma. Sorry.” he said. Emma shrugged.
“No worries. Don’t sneeze like that.” she said. Paul frowned.
“Why not?” he asked, walking over to the counter.
“You could burst a blood vessel. Or rupture your throat.”
Paul shook his head affectionately, muttering something about biology students. “I will sneeze h-how, fuck, sohh-rry, H’xxchh! h’Achew! However I damn please.” he said.
“Next time you sneeze like that I’ll punch you.” Emma quipped. The joke didn’t quite land with Paul however.
“Please don’t. I’ve been suffering enough already.” he said. As if to punctuate his claim, he immediately turned away from Emma again. “Hu’Achh!” Emma’s face softened.
“How are you holding up?” she asked more gently. Paul shrugged.
“My nose feels like it’s trying to escape my face. Ted won’t close the damn window in the office so I’m not getting any relief inside.” he said, rubbing his nose and blinking. Emma nodded sympathetically.
“Not fun I hear. Order?” she asked. She didn’t want to push him, but she could almost feel the glare of her boss on her back if she chatted too long.
“Oh yeah, uh, He’Atch! H’Uchew! Sorry, one black coffee and a chai tea.” he said.
“Bless. Coming right up.” she said. It was quiet for a bit, the silence only broken by Paul’s occasional sniffles. Then, Emma chuckled. “You know, this could be the universe’s way of revenge for that time you got me those scented candles.” she said. Paul trew his hands up, although he was smiling slightly.
“How was I supposed to know you were sensitive to those? You never t- fuck’sss sake A’chhu! Hu’achew! Told me!” he said. He sighed, pulling a tissue from his pocket and blowing his nose. “Sorry. God I feel gross.” he said. Emma placed the drinks next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“You look miserable Paul. Can’t you just take an antihistamine?” she asked. Paul shook his head.
“Makes me too sleepy to properly work.” he said. Shaking his head again to clear it, he smiled at Emma. “I’ll be alright babe, really. It’s just annoying.” he said. He looked at the clock behind Emma. “Damn, I have to go back. Sorry Em.” he said. Emma leaned forward and kissed him. She couldn’t help herself, and quickly kissed him on the nose as well. Paul practically shoved her off him and buried his face into his elbow.
“H’acchew! Hu’Achh! A’cchhew! He’Ticchew! h-h-Hu”tchhew! Emma!” he whined. Emma chucked.
“Sorry Paul. Didn’t expect it to make you sneeze. Honestly.” she said.
“You’re a menace and I hate you.” he responded. But Emma could see the twinkle in his eye. She smiled wider.
“I’ll see you after work. You coming to pick me up?” she asked. Paul nodded.
“I will. Bye Em!” he said, and quickly exited the cafe.
At 5 pm Emma finally exited the café . She’d been on her feet all day and was exhausted. Just like promised, Paul’s car was in front of the store. She quickly got in and closed the door before looking over at Paul. He smiled at her. His nose was almost bright red and his eyes looked slightly watery. He was about to lean over to give her a kiss when he held up a finger and turned away.
“H’xxch! Sorry, H’tchh!” he sighed.
“Bless you Paul.” she said affectionately. He sniffed and rubbed his nose.
“Thank you. As soon as we’re home I’m taking those antihistamines. Let’s-” he cut himself off. “H’nxxc! Ugh, sorry. Do you want to drive maybe? I don’t want you to feel like I might crash the car.” he continued. Emma nodded. They got up and swapped seats. It was a good idea too, because as soon as Paul sat down he succumbed to another fit. “Hu’achew! H’EChhew! h-h’Achh! A’cchh!” he sighed, leaning back in the car seat. Emma gently ran her hand over his knee.
“Let’s get you home.”
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If you were the emmerdale producer,what would you do?
- End the Malone story once and for all. Let Harriet leave to go find herself or something. Let Charles be the only vicar in town. I’d also have Will leave cause I’m tired and I don’t really see any value to him as a character personally. Dawn can stay but she’d stop having to worry about keeping Lucas and actually get to have some fun with people her age again.
- I’d get rid of Wendy. She can literally just get a new job somewhere and leave in a taxi as long as she goes.
- I’d break up Luke and Vic and bring in this Steven guy for some drama. I’d only keep him around so that the theory people can have their way if Ryan ever decides to come back.
- Ben would kayak away and never return.
- Dan and Amelia would move to Croyden to live with Daz and never return
- With all of these exits, I’d put together a sizable bribe to try and win Ryan around. Haha.
- Barring that, I would probably put Mack and Aaron together but it would be a slow burn where they were friends first. I’d allow the friendship/relationship to help flesh out Mack’s character more and give Aaron new characters to interact with.
- I’d let the twenty somethings/early thirty somethings interact more. Aaron, Vic, Amy, Matty, Ethan, Dawn, Luke, Jamie, Meena etc. Let them have some fun.
- It’s gonna happen anyway but Vinny would have his revelation about Paul and then Paul would never be mentioned again. He’d repair his relationship with Mandy and fix things with Liv.
- I’d let Charity start to make some real progress on putting her life back together. She’d fix things with Noah (and Sarah ugh) once and for all and we’d never have to deal with that again. I’d find her a new job where she could put her business skills to good use. Perhaps put her back at the Haulage to help Jimmy and Nicola after this whole Juliette mess.
- I’d resolve the Juliette mess. Let her lose it and kidnap Carl for real and have some drama and then send her off to prison or something and give Jimmy and Nicola full custody.
- I’d let Aaron buy back into the garage so he can interact with people again.
- Eric and Faith would get back together
- I’d have to find new relationship stories to do and actually put effort into them
- Manpreet would get together with Charles.
- Andrea would leave and never return and Jamie would forget Millie existed.
- Chas would finally actually cheat on Paddy and become her messy relatable self again and actually be friends with Charity again.
- Paddy can really just go back to that vets practice in Germany
- There’s got to be a house I’ve emptied enough to bring in another new family with more members this time that would have absolutely no super secret connections to anyone.
- I’d work on overlapping stories more and trying to get around covid rules until hopefully they lift and filming can return to normal.
- I’d pick up the pace of all of the stories.
- I’d actually let Kim and Lydia become real friends.
- I’d let Jamie pick a personality. Probably the one he came in with more. Like he’d actually decide to be a better person than his mother and stick with that and stop being an asshole to everyone for no reason.
uhhh probably a lot more but I have to go podcast so this is enough for now
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Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:
PYROC VS FATHER PAUL
Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm
SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.
ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.
The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.
That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.
Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?
Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.
Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….
Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.
In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.
HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.
I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family
Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this
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Season 8, Episode 10: Old Love, New Love, Is This True Love
All right, so...like I said, work has picked up and my eyes feel like old marbles from staring at numbers (the woes of working in accounting I guess) so I want to get this written up and tossed into the nether before I lose steam and motivation to do it. The interesting thing about these little write-ups is that as the week goes on they just get harder and harder to write...
I do apologize in advance to those who like the long-winded write-ups. I’m just not up to it at the moment. Still feeling kind of bleh from the episode.
Let’s go back to an old format, shall we?
The Good
We might as well start out with the things about this episode that I enjoyed!
Gossip Hour with the Men was one of the best openers they’ve had on the show in a while. It was genuinely funny without being meanspirited. Nobody looked like the bad guy. Everyone just calmly talked about it alike it was a normal thing to maybe call off the wedding. Bill calling out Carson for giving marriage advice was pretty funny, Mike was a delight. I don’t know what to say. I’d watch a whole episode of The Boys just hanging around spending time together.
--
Florence’s worry that she’s ugly was...not a terrible idea for a storyline, but the actress is too good-looking to pretend to be ugly (I saw her in this pretty yellow dress on Instagram a couple years ago and she was smashing)? Also, it’s not like Ned is a handsomely aged gentleman (like Henry lol) so it makes even less sense for the characters. I think they should have gone with Florence feeling she’s “plain” and that dressing up Super Nice makes her feel uncomfortable because she just doesn’t feel like Herself and worries maybe it’s projecting a false sense of Who She Is or something? I guess overall I still liked that an attempt was made to add some depth to Florence and her difficulties in choosing a dress/hairstyle, so...it goes here.
--
Ned asking Henry to be his best man was nice, too. I can forgive the shoddy pacing and weird placement of this request (like I do with almost everything in the show) but only because the scene was just...so incredibly wholesome.
I like how Henry just casually is like, “Well maybe today’s just not the day.” I think it eased Ned’s mind just a little that he CAN back out if he really wants to.
I think it’s worth thinking about the fact that Ned and Henry would have always worked very closely, since the mercantile would have been a company store before the mine closed down... I like Henry and Ned as pals.
--
I’m glad the “investment” thing with Jesse and Clara’s savings was brought up in a way that...makes sense. And also, glad it wasn’t forgotten.
--
I really liked Molly and Florence in this episode. I’m a little sad Florence married Ned because I AM SORRY BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SHIPPING MOLLY AND FLORENCE TOGETHER UGHGHGHH
But their relationship is so good and maYBE Elizabeth will learn something from them.
Hey Elizabeth...you see that?
YOU SEE THAT?
Just saying.
And then later...
“You are the sister I never had, the mother I forever wanted, the friend I have always needed. From the depths of those dark and terrifying coal mines you’ve walked beside me, picking me up whenever I’ve stumbled along the way.”
AAAAAAAAA IT GOT ME.
--
I’m...really liking Fiona and Mike’s relationship, whatever it is. I kind of think they’re not headed toward anything romantic. Everyone thinks Mike is really into Fiona but at the end of the episode we realize he likes talking to her about business; it’s almost like they have this shared passion for numbers/ideas and he likes infodumping to her (and vice-versa).
I think they’re going to end up being “just friends” and Fiona will end up paired off with the man Elizabeth doesn’t choose. They hinted at Nathan briefly in this episode (with Allie’s hair), but who knows? I’m over trying to speculate on where the triangle is going at this point, but I actually like Fiona’s relationship with Mike so much that I’ll be disappointed if she fades into the background with Nathan or Lucas. Mike deserves more screentime.
--
Ned and Florence sharing their fIRST KISS. My husband got emotional over this. And I admit, it was starting to get to me, too. I can’t NOT root for them.
--
I said it before and I’ll say it again: I WOULD DIE FOR THE CANFIELDS.
--
The wedding was nice. I liked that Bill and Joseph officiated it together; it gives Joseph a li’l trial run of pastoring and finally Bill gets to use some of that power of his to officiate a wedding.
“Please, if you’d like” is such a Bill way to say that they may kiss LOL.
--
Also, I have to admit that I did enjoy Lucas calling Nathan out about Allie. She wouldn’t be caught in the middle if he’d leave Elizabeth alone AND HE IS RIGHT LMAO.
The last good thing: Elizabeth telling Nathan she doesn’t blame him for Jack’s death. Nice. Good. Thank you. He probably needed to hear that.
--
...THE BAD
Carson and Faith. UGH. UGHHHHHHHHHH. BREAK UP ALREADY I HATE YOU BOTH.
I appreciated that Carson had the ring ages ago, and I did like his conversation with Minnie—or more accurately, her advice to him. I felt like she was nudging him toward, “Remember why you became a surgeon in the first place.” If he became a surgeon to help people, then there’s no reason he can’t help people where he is. Sure, he might not be doing state of the art procedures but with Faith working alongside him, he can afford time to learn new things and go to doctor conventions or even take a specialized class now and then. No other doctor could get away for very long but he has that chance!
And he’ll arguably be doing more good in the middle of nowhere than in the city. All the doctors want to live in the city. Nobody wants to barely get paid for their time in the countryside.
We had a whole episode that made it clear that Faith and Carson don’t make a lot of money and do a lot of charity work. They also work for trade goods (mostly food). So it’s like...a pretty big difference in lifestyle?
Half the reason I can’t get invested in these characters is because I really can’t stand Paul Greene. He just...annoys me on every single level imaginable. But he’s a decent actor and I can’t help but feel that his character was a massive waste of space for the past few seasons through no fault of the man himself. Imagine introducing a character like Carson and then leaving him to rot before you try to make him interesting with a romance plot that nobody asked for.
Yes, some people really like Faith and Carson, but as a whole I think the fandom didn’t buy into them as a ship due to the lack of chemistry.
It really is a shame. This episode didn’t do a thing to endear me to either character. Please, Carson. I am begging you to leave town.
--
This one particular line of dialogue almost enraged me.
WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE KNOW WE CAN SEE THAT FOR OURSELVES. WHY DID THEY HAVE ROSEMARY SAY THIS LIKE IT’S AN EPISODE OF A CHILD’S TV SHOW?
--
Elizabeth.........
How could Katie have...looked up to her? She was never in her class? That was? Never part of anything? It was just something they threw in here to force Elizabeth to make 1% more sense in the role she’s in but IT STILL DOESN’T WORK.
I felt like I was back in Season 5 again with Lori and Elizabeth putting their nose in everyone’s business except it’s just Elizabeth!! The whole plot, which was boring and contrived anyway, should have gone to Molly, since she’s Florence’s best friend and another woman from town that Katie would have known as a child.
AND ALSO, MOLLY WOULD HAVE KNOWN KATIE’S MOTHER AND WOULD REMEMBER THE GRIEF THAT NED STRUGGLED WITH.
I know they wanted to make Elizabeth give advice so that she’d Realize that she needs to, I don’t know, make better choices or something, but it was too on the nose for me and I hated it.
GinithePooh on Reddit made a good comparison to Elizabeth in this episode by saying she reminded them of Clippy from Microsoft Word, always popping up and offering to help when nobody really needs or wants advice.
To honor their incredible idea, I opened Photoshop and created this gem, which I will also be posting separately so that people can reblog it if they wish to.
I also don’t think I need to say also filed under The Bad is the fact that Elizabeth didn’t even apologize for being awful to Rosemary and then gave her unsolicited advice to other people for two days straight. I can’t believe they wrote that?
All I can say is that her apology to Rosemary, when it comes, better be good.
--
And I didn’t like this either:
I wish it had been followed up by literally anything: Nathan saying he’s sorry he didn’t tell her sooner or something to make the hand-holding actually be a little more innocent.
As it is, it just seems so deliberate?
Maybe the next episode starts off right in this scene and we’ll get that? If so, this might actually end up being fine. I just don’t think it is if it doesn’t get a little more direct attention.
--
& THE UGLY
I debated on putting anything in here, because I’m not ready to talk about my feelings on this matter, at least not fully. But I’ve been pretty quiet all season so far, and...eh, why not just mention things in advance? What will it hurt?
Let me preface this section by saying I’m biased and I doubt hardly anyone on this site will agree with me, so feel free to just ignore this part if that’s the case.
There are two things that I really didn’t like in this episode.
I hate the slanting toward Bill/Molly.
I like Molly just fine but I don’t like her with Bill. I’m biased as all getout and also worried about the future/potential Season 9 with regards to this. I don’t want to see it. Like at all. Why, you ask? You should know why if you follow me. I’m super transparent.
It’s because I like AJ AND I WANT HER BACK LOL.
John Tinker rewatched the series so we know he wouldn’t have missed that hanging plot thread—especially since he didn’t forget any of the other things that were brought up this season! So why didn’t she appear this season? The love triangle absolutely needed to be a focus or it would have never ended, so that’s part of it, but I’m also pretty sure Josie Bissett wasn’t interested in doing any filming last year during Covid. My only “proof” is that Wedding March 6 wasn’t filmed last year even though it was scheduled to be filmed, but it makes sense. Last year was chaos.
THAT SAID, Jack Wagner posted on his Instagram the other day that they are actually filming Wedding March 6 now, so... I guess AJ’s re-appearance in Season 9 wouldn’t come as too much of a surprise if they wanted to write it.
You’d think I’d be hyped about that, and I kind of am? But it doesn’t come without its share of worries, too. We just had the worst love triangle in the history of love triangles and I really don’t want another one, especially if it makes any of the characters in question look stupid or mean.
I fully admit a well-written love triangle could be a LOT of fun for them* (low stakes because they’re not front and center characters), but I saw how Nathan was written so far this season and I really, REALLY do not want to see that happen to Molly, Bill, or AJ.
Anyway, not a fan of the Molly/Bill stuff. No chemistry. I don’t want it.
*I would totally write a fanfic like this lmao.
--
And finally...the part that everyone will hate me for:
I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ABIGAIL COME BACK. And I specifically do not want her to come back ‘cause I do not wanna see Henry/Abigail happen.
I fully recognize that a lot of you like it and ship the heck out of it, and that’s...good. I’m glad you enjoy it. I loathe it, though, and I worry that all these hints (more like...mentions) are leaning toward...something. Like, either they’re:
1) Sending Abigail off/tying up that loose end with Henry (since nothing was ever clarified either way), or
2) Warming up the audience to receive Abigail back on the show.
I’m pretty into the idea of one-sided Henry/Abigail. Hindsight is 20/20, regrets, that’s all some juicy stuff to give a character like Henry. Some things can’t ever be made right again. He had too direct of a connection to the death of her husband and son for me to ever want to see them together. Forgiveness? Yes. A careful but meaningful friendship? Yes. Romantic relationship? Uh...no thanks.
I liked the Abigail mentions at first because I felt like...the character still mattered (as she should) but I’m at a point where I feel like they’re trying really hard to steer the fandom’s view a certain way and not knowing where it’s going is extremely unsettling to me.
--
I’ll probably talk more about the things that bother me when the season ends, because I’m hoping to have a better idea of where things are going to be headed, but for now just...know that I feel very apprehensive.
And keep in mind that I primarily watch this show for Bill these days, since all my previous faves (AJ, Frank, the old Abigail, Dottie) have exited, stage left. I also always really liked seeing Henry. So as you can imagine, seeing plotlines I hate for the only two characters I’m invested in? Is making me consider dropping the series next year.
My husband told me I should hate-watch it, but I don’t know if my heart can take it. I’ve been following this series for so long...it just...kind of hurts to feel let down like this?
But sometimes an ongoing series ends up going where you...didn’t want it to, and it becomes something that’s no longer right for you. I hope that doesn’t happen, but last night’s episode makes me feel like...it might be happening for real this time.
I guess if that holds true it’ll be back to fanfiction for me. Will that novelization I planned ages ago end up getting written? Will I write the best love triangle fanfic known to man? WHO KNOWS.
For now, we’ll all have to wait and see! Two more episodes left. I’m really curious to see how they resolve some of the open plots right now. :>
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“Natural” - Chapter 9 - Embry Call x Reader
Visions
A/N: Warning -> Implied Adult Themes.
I wake up and look around at my surroundings. I see all my friends knocked out in my living room, except for Quil who was scrolling on his phone.
“What’s up, Quil?” I ask, yawning.
“Hey good morning.” He looks over and smiles at me.
“What time is it?” I ask, sitting up, trying not to disturb either boys next to me.
“A little past ten. Be careful, don’t poke a sleeping bear. Paul gets pissed when you wake him up.” He warns, chuckling.
“Noted. Do you feel like helping me make breakfast?” I ask.
“Why not?” He says, getting up quietly.
I try my best to get off of the couch without waking Embry or Paul.
“Good luck. Embry will be nice but Paul won’t be.” Quil warns once again.
I take Embry’s arm off of my, and begin standing up, tripping over one of Paul’s legs. Embry doesn’t budge but I hear Paul groan.
“Shit.” I whisper as Quil catches me from falling face first on the floor.
“Still a clutz as always.” He jokes.
Paul’s eyes open, giving a Quil a dirty look, before realizing it was me who woke him up.
“Sorry Paul.” I whisper, smiling awkwardly.
“It’s all good, (Y/N). No worries.” He nudges my arm, smiles, and goes back to bed.
Quil looks at me with wide eyes, surprised at the interaction.
“Wow, thanks for scaring me for nothing.” I elbow him in the side.
“I didn’t think he would be so nice, he’s normally so mean about it!” He laughs quietly.
We walk into the kitchen and begin. We decided on pancakes, french toast, and eggs. Thankfully, Quil was a huge help in the kitchen.
“So Quil, you pining after any girl I don’t know about?” I ask, giggling.
“No I am not. I haven’t imprinted and I don’t like anyone right now. Making me the cool guy in our group.” He laughs softly.
“Hey, I’m still pretty cool, even if Embry and I are dating now. Jake, he’s alright.” I joke.
“Yeah, I guess it’s between us who could be the coolest. But I’m not hopelessly devoted to anyone yet, which makes me the coolest in my eyes.”
“Wow, Quil. That’s harsh, don’t ya think?”
“I’m just kidding. I kinda want to meet someone, but now really isn’t the time thanks to Jake constantly involving us in extra vampire drama. Between him, Bella, and the Cullens we don’t get a night off much anymore. There’s always something going after Bella or whatever, I just hope after this we could calm things down, a bit.”
“I understand, I’m sorry. I’m sure things will calm down for a bit after this.” I encourage, giving him a side hug.
“Hopefully. I mean don’t get me wrong-- I love ripping apart leeches just as much as everyone else, but I’d like a day off for once.” He laughs.
“I get it. It’s hard, I’m sure. You guys are doing great, though.” I try to raise his spirits.
“Yeah, I know. We are pretty great.” He smiles cockily.
“Alright, easy there, bud.” I laugh, shoving him playfully.
“It almost feels like you never left, (Y/N). Thank goodness Embry imprinted on you or we wouldn’t be able to tell you about this. That would be insanely hard.” He looks at me with happy eyes.
“I’m really glad, too. I don’t know how miserable I’d be if I couldn’t hang out with everyone like things were, how they are now.” I smirk, flipping the french toast.
“Yeah, thankfully we can torture you forever, without any lies or secrets.”
“I’m so glad, can’t wait to be tortured forever.” I roll my eyes.
“Do you remember when you split your knee open when Jake and I accidentally pushed you on the rocks?” Quil stifles a laugh.
“Yeah, I also remember when you didn’t want me to tell so you guys wouldn’t get in trouble. So you guys took an hour to decide if you should walk me back to Jake’s house to get help.” I laugh.
“Yeah, good times.” Quil laughs to himself.
“Quil, I got stitches! You guys sucked.” I playfully lean into his side.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
I grab folding chairs out of the closet, setting them around the table to fit everyone, Quil eventually helps me with it after a dirty look or two.
“What smells so good?” Paul walks into the kitchen.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Quil smirks.
“Shut up, Quil.” Paul laughs.
“Well, I was actually curious as to why you were so nice to (Y/N) for waking you up this morning. You usually threaten to murder anyone else. Care to explain?” Quil questions him.
“Well, I love (Y/N). She’s cool. She makes breakfast. She’s Embry’s imprint, can’t be a dick to her.” Paul chimes in, smirking as he ruffles Quil’s hair.
“Ah so it’s the imprint thing?” I ask.
“Nah, (Y/N). You know I always liked you.” He then ruffles my hair and brings me into a side hug.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say.” I tease, rolling my eyes.
Paul rolls his eyes and walks over to the table.
“Woah, woah. Wait for me to get everyone up before you devour it all.” I say, running over to him and Quil.
“Alright, you have like two minutes, it smells really good.” Quil smirks.
I walk into the living room and walk around, shaking everyone up.
“Wake up, Quil and Paul are going to eat all the food.” I shake Embry and Jacob. I get Embry up first who moves on over to get Seth and Leah up.
“Paul and Quil are at the table with all of the food. I can only contain them for so long.” I say to Jacob, finally getting him up.
I look at the clock and see that it’s already a little past 11. We would probably have to leave after breakfast.
“Good morning, beautiful.” Embry walks over, snaking his arms around my waist and kissing the top of my head.
“Good morning, Em. Let’s go eat.” I lead him into the kitchen.
I sit down between Leah and Embry, taking some french toast.
I watch in amazement how much they all eat, though understanding exactly why. The breakfast is full of fun memories and playful banter. Time flying by.
I feel Embry’s hand find my leg under the table, the warmth sending waves of electricity through my body, bringing a smile to my face.
“How much longer until we have to leave?” Leah asks.
“Like twenty minutes.” I take a sip of my water.
“Ugh. I’m still so tired.” Jacob groans.
“Thanks for cooking breakfast, (Y/N).” Seth smiles at me.
“Of course. Quil helped, too.” I smile back.
A chorus of thank yous arise from the group. After cleaning it up, it was time to go.
I took Embry, Quil, and Leah in my car while Jacob drove himself, Paul and Seth back to Sam’s in his rabbit.
Upon our arrival, we see Sam and Jared chatting in his yard, waiting for us.
We all get out of the car and meet up. “Good morning everyone. Today’s the last day of training. Let’s be on our A-game for Monday. We’re gonna do great.” Sam encourages.
Everyone except Jacob and I head behind the bushes just like yesterday, as he helped me get onto Embry’s back once again. He phased and stayed behind with Leah, Embry, and I.
We got to the clearing to be me with the Cullens once again.
“Hey there.” Emmett smiles as he walks over to Embry and I.
Embry tenses underneath me once again, but no snarling comes from him nor anyone else. Though, Quil did come over to my other side once again.
“Thank you Emmett. I appreciate your help.” I smile back at him.
“Of course.” His freezing cold hands lifting me once again, as if I was as light as a feather.
Emmett walks back over to his family, resuming the training.
I stayed between Quil and Embry, watching everything going on around me.
I felt eyes on me, so I look around until my eyes were met with a pair of golden ones.
Alice. Why was Alice staring at me like that?
“Alice. What did you see?” Bella asks.
Edward and Alice both look at me, eyes hard and mouth slightly agape.
Leah moves her way over to me, standing defensively, joining Embry and Quil.
“Alice?” I ask.
“(Y/N) needs to be up at the site with Edward and Bella during the fight.” Her eyes don’t leave mine.
That’s when I hear their snarls. Embry growls loudly as he steps in front of me.
“Bella will die if she doesn’t.” Alice says.
“I understand you guys don’t want her involved, but it’s the only way to keep everyone safe.” Edward says.
My heart was about to beat out of my chest. Not only was I afraid now that I was going to be involved, but fearful that Embry would snap at any second.
“Em, please.” I whisper.
He looks down at me, stopping the growling but not moving from the protective stance. Leah and Quil unwavering from my side as well.
“We can’t let Bella die.” Carlisle reinforces.
I see Edward’s face cringe with sadness after reading the thoughts of the pack. I can only imagine what they’re thinking.
I see Jacob and Embry looking at each other, assuming they’re talking through their mind link. That’s when they began snarling at each other, probably disagreeing between letting Bella die and risking my life.
“No, (Y/N) won’t die. Don’t worry, she’ll be perfectly fine.” Edward says, looking at us.
“Well, then I guess I have to be at the camp site.” I say meekly.
All the heads turn to me, Embry looking at me with pleading eyes.
“Thank you, (Y/N).” Bella says to me in a low tone.
I look and see Jacob nodding at me, thanking me in the only way he can.
“You’ll have to camp at the site with us tonight. We’ll have another tent for you and Embry. Then tomorrow morning, Seth and I will stay with you and Bella while the rest fight. Thank you. ” Edward nods at me.
“Well, I can’t let Bella die.” I shrug my shoulders.
I lean my head against Embry’s warm body, trying not to show the fear flowing through my body.
Would I be face-to-face with a vampire?
The rest of the training goes by like a blur. Edward promises he would tell me everything I needed to know at the campsite tonight.
Emmett lifts me up and places me on Embry’s back once more, giving me a pat on the back.
“Thank you, (Y/N).” He says with gratitude.
I nod, unsure of what to say. It wasn’t exactly as if it was no problem, it wasn’t a “no big deal” situation. This was a very troubling position for me to be put in.
The tension in the air was far more intense than the previous day. The run back to Sam’s was more of a trot, everyone was seemingly disappointed.
Embry and Jacob shared a lot of looks throughout the journey back, and they were accompanied by not so very friendly noises. Sam occasionally turned around to look at them.
This time, it was not Jacob who got me off of Embry’s back, in-fact Jacob and Embry were the only two who didn’t phase back. It was actually Paul who got me off of Embry’s back rather quickly. Though Paul didn’t put me down on the ground right away, no he held me. He held me tight. He still put my feet on the ground, but his arms wrapped around my middle tighter than anyone’s ever held me.
“Paul, what’re yo-”
I was cut off by the gnashing of teeth and incredibly loud snarling.
“Oh my god, stop them!” I yell out.
Leah comes over, trying to calm me down and distract me.
“What’s going on?” I ask, tears pricking my eyes.
“They’re fighting. Embry’s pissed that you got dragged into it. He doesn’t think you should be involved in something that Jacob decided for all of us.” Quil says in a somber tone.
“Sam, please. Make them stop!” I look back at him, tears threatening to spill over.
“They need to do this, they have to work it out before tomorrow.” He says, looking at me with pursed lips.
Suddenly I heard a yelp, at first I couldn’t tell who it was. I assumed it to be Embry due to Jake’s large size. Though, I guess Embry’s emotions really got the best of him.
“Paul, please let me go.” I whisper, trying to free myself from his grasp.
He only holds on tighter, whispering an apology in my ear.
“You’ll get killed. You can’t go.” He whispers again.
“(Y/N), they’ll be okay. They’re not gonna kill each other. It’s just how they’re working out their argument.” Leah puts a hand on my shoulder.
“I think it’s time to bring (Y/N) inside.” Quil suggests, earning a nod from Sam.
Paul easily brings me into the house, I gave up on fighting him.
I see a warm and welcoming Emily as we step in the house.
“Here’s water, sweetie.” She places the glass of water in front of me as Paul sits me between him and Leah.
“Are they going to be okay?” I gulp after taking a sip of the water.
“They’re going to be fine.” Sam nods.
Leah rubs comforting circles on my back as Paul and Quil make sure I don’t try to get up again.
“I wish you didn’t have to get dragged into this, I’m sorry.” Leah whispers.
“Well, I’ll be okay. They said so. I’ll have Edward and Seth.” I say, voice cracking at the end.
“(Y/N), I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? You’re my first priority.” Seth says in a promising tone, comforting me instantly.
The growls outside stopped, and I didn’t know if I should feel relieved or worried.
“They’re okay.” Quil tells me.
I nod and wait to see the two boys walk in. Both a bit scratched up but nothing what I imagined.
“(Y/N), I’m really sorry. It wasn’t supposed to work like this.” Jacob says in a sad voice, walking over to me.
“I know, Jake. I know this isn’t what you wanted.” I look up at him.
“Oh who cares Jake? You throw everyone’s life on the line for Bella. She’s not even your imprint. I get that you love her, but we don’t have to do this. You’re bringing (Y/N) into something she doesn’t need to be. She can’t protect herself.” Embry says, emotion raw in his voice.
“I didn’t choose this, Embry. Stop doing this to me. I didn’t want (Y/N) involved at all.” Jacob seethes.
“Please, don’t fight. I can’t handle this right now. I have to figure out how to handle this and what it means for me.” I speak up.
Embry’s sad eyes meet mine.
“Do you want to go back to your house?” He asks, his voice trailing off.
“Yeah, in a few minutes. I just wanna hug everyone goodbye.” I smile softly at him.
“Thank you.” Embry says to Paul before walking outside, everything overwhelming him too much.
Paul nods and claps him on the back on his way out.
I hug Leah for what felt like ten years, though it was only about fifteen seconds, whispering a thank you into her ear.
“Of course. You’ll be okay. Seth will take care of you.” She whispers in my ear, hand on my back.
I hug Quil goodbye, exchanging an “I love you, bud. See ya later.”
Jared hugs me, no words exchanged between us, none were really needed. He too, rubbed my back a bit to show comfort.
By far, Sam and Emily gave me the most paternal hugs, letting me know that I’ll be okay. They made me feel safe.
Seth hugs me, reminding me of what he told me before, also making me feel safe. I thank him and move onto my last goodbye hug.
“I’m so sorry.” Jacob whispers, hugging me tight.
“I know, I’ll see you later tonight.” I pull back.
I wave goodbye to everyone, leaving the heavy atmosphere behind. I walk outside to see a sad Embry waiting for me.
“Hey, you ready to go?” I ask, walking over to my car.
“Yeah.” He murmurs.
We get in my car and the entire drive back to my house was silent. Darkness covered the road, trees, and everything not in my car’s headlights.
“Embry?” I speak up, getting out of the car and beginning the walk to my front door.
“Yeah?”
“Please talk to me.” My throat hitches.
“I’m sorry, bean. I just, I’m so upset. I feel so guilty that you’re involved. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I would never forgive myself.” His voice trails off.
I pull him into my house and lead him upstairs into my room.
“Embry, you didn’t do anything wrong. You did everything you can to protect me, and you still are. I just want to have a nice night tonight.” My voice is small, but he definitely heard me.
“We’ll have a nice night. We’ll go to the site soon. I’m not leaving your side.” He promises.
“Thank you.” I press a kiss to his cheek.
We lay in my bed where I begin to speak again.
“So, you’ll be camping out with me tonight. But then in the morning Seth will come and replace you and Jacob, and you guys will go fight?” I ask, trying to completely understand the plan.
“Precisely. I want to be there with you, but Sam won’t let me.” He looks down at his hands.
“Embry, Seth will keep me safe. He said I’m the first priority for him.” I nudge him.
“But not for the leech. Edward doesn’t care about anything except Bella, just like Jake.” Embry says with an annoyed tone.
“I’ll be okay, Alice said so.” I encourage him.
Though I wasn’t sure if I was merely trying to convince him or if I was trying to convince myself this, too.
“(Y/N), I really love you more than I could ever put into words.” His deep brown eyes staring right into my own.
“I know, Embry. I love you, too. All the same, if not more.”
“You don’t love me more, it’s impossible.” He chuckles.
“I guess we can agree to come to a truce.” I smirk.
“A truce.” He smiles, before pressing his lips onto mine for an electrifying kiss.
The kiss heats up, getting more intense by the second. Both of us hungry for more.
“Embry?” I breathe out. “Yeah?”
“Do you think we could… you know?” I look up into his eyes.
“Is that what you really want?” He asks, eyes widening a smidge.
“Yes. It’s what I want.” I look up to him, smiling softly.
He nods before pressing his lips to mine again, soft but needy.
I grab the condom I got from Quil the other day, for just in case purposes.
“Where did that come from?” He asks, a bit confused.
“Quil gave it to me when he found out we were dating.” I laughed. “Jeez. Remind me to hit him after all of this.” He smirks before kissing me once again.
“I love you, Em.”
“I love you, too. Forever, bean.”
His hungry lips made their way to mine once more, his warm hands roaming gently. I finally got to experience Embry in a new light, one that would tie our souls tighter together in a new way.
_____________________
Word Count: 3295
taglist: @jjpogueprincess
I II III IV V VI VII VIII VIIII X XIR XIE XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIIII
#embry call#embry call x reader#embry call fanfiction#embry call imagine#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#paul lahote#Quil Ateara#jacob black#sam uley#jared cameron#brady fuller#collin littlesea#wolf pack x reader#twilight x reader#twilight#twilight imagine#Twilight FanFic#twilight fanfiction#twilight imagines
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pinky and the brain: s1e7 - tv or not tv
y’all do NOT understand how many times i have tried to post this. tumblr just will not stop eating it. this was supposed to be out last wednesday LMAO i am doing my best.
episode summary: brain engineers a pair of Mouse Dentures that give him a charming smile. anyone hypnotised by these dentures Suddenly Adores Him For No Good Reason. unfortunately, he’s also a bit of a shut in, so nobody is actually going to see his charming smile-- unless he gets himself a sitcom.
....or something.
the rundown:
we open on brain talking about the “weird and magical power” of celebrity. he has defaced several women, and is sticking his ass out. as you do. what is he doing to CINDY! and her ilk?? he must be stopped.
“those who have it weild tremendous influence. few can avoid the enchantment of its’ spell.”
“do you know what gives them this power?”
holy shit. he just stabbed CINDY!.
pinky absolutely does not care for CINDY!’s fate. “haha. narf. hey, paddlefoot, do you know what they call a quarter pounder in france?”
of course, sirius black was not in pulp fiction, and neither, as far as i can tell, was he in france. brain silences him with “enough gay banter”, like he wasn’t just sticking his ass out in his general direction, like, two minutes ago.
(this was the 90s, y’all. gay definitely meant gay back then. this is not the faraway tree.)
“pinky! behold the key to the power of attraction!”
“pushpins!”
“hurraaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“no, pinky.”
apparently the key to attraction is a
“winning smile”, as brain points out, tapping on CINDY!’s poor mutilated face for emphasis.
“and a nice healthy gum!”
“and... a nice healthy gum.”
it turns out that brain has “taken this idea of the influential smile to a new level - a level no less than world domination“, which is bold words for Mr Tumble Dryer. to achieve this, he has invented
teeth.
(okay. so it’s a bit bigger than that. he shows pinky the plans for,
and then a prototype of, a whole machine built specifically to engineer him little mousie dentures. a lot of work went into this one. shame, really.
“when did you have time to build that?”
“while you were engrossed in your mr belvedere reruns.”
“oh, i miss him. ):” )
anyway so. brain puts his teeth in.
there he is.
pinky describes this as
“enchanting (’:”
and brain affirms that it’s supposed to be. apparently the “reflective vibrations” (okay) of his smile stimulates the medula oblongata,
“causing the viewer to adore me for no good reason!”
“zort! i’m adoring you for no good reason!”
(he does point out, while brain is admiring his reflection in a nearby bunsen burner, “what if they’re wearing sunglasses?”
brain’s response is “we’ll work nights.”)
still, brain can’t just sit around in the lab twiddling his thumbs and expect the general public to Adore Him For No Reason. he needs exposure! and as pinky ponders “what would mr belvedere do,” brain asserts that he would “eat some butter”.
“i’m afraid, my friend, that you’ve seen far too much of mr belvede--”
more like mr belvIDEA lol. sorry i’ll see myself out.
“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?”
“i think so, brain, bur it’s a miracle that this one grew back. ):”
.....okay.
thankfully, the plan is not, in fact, to amputate pinky’s leg. again???? instead, brain intends to use a weapon of “great stealth, power, and corruption.”
OUR OWN SITCOM.
✨
meanwhile, at the wb studio, we meet jerry kilmer. mr kilmer is currently being harassed by some dudes who also really, really want their own sitcom. for far less nefarious purposes, presumably.
“so there’s this guy, right?”
“and get this! he designs--”
“BIKINIS.”
“TINY LITTLE BIKINIS. OKAY okay okay okay so here’s the hook.”
“HE’S PRETENDING--”
“TO BE BLIND.”
it does not appear to be what mr kilmer is looking for.
(meanwhile, the mice are spying on the acme labs janitor. he seems like a cool dude! but the mice are not here for friendship.
they sneak into his jacket pocket!
and...... steal his.... car keys? “YES. to the television station!”
✨
this isn’t even the first vehicle he’s stolen. hopefully he’ll have this one back by curfew as well.)
they do get pulled over by the police, but i don’t want to go into that. unless you guys reaaaallly want me to. instead, they park outside the studio and harass some poor receptionist.
“excuse me. we’re here to-- pitch. as they say. a sitcóm. my dear.”
i don’t know why brain says words like that.
“appointment?”
“oh, i’m sure you can--”
“work us in.” says brain. he is sticking his ass out for no reason. all the appeal is in his sparkly dentures, so.... there’s really no need for that, my dude.
✨
“you’re next! for no good reason!”
these dudes are still here. “wait!” yells our budding comedian, “wait! check out this idea. it’s about a guy!”
original.
“who always sticks his foot in his mouth!!”
clever. unfortunately, his demonstration goes wrong, and he ends up kicking mr kilmer in the face.
bonk.
gives him a nasty black eye to boot. ouch.
“ugh. can’t i ever just see someone normal?”
good thing these very normal individuals have just shown up, huh? nothing shady about these guys. “ugh, thank goodness,” says mr kilmer. they introduce themselves politely as jonathan michael charles (left) and jamal spelling (right).
“you guys have quite a look.”
“thank you.”
✨
“alright then. what do you got for me?”
“egad, brain.”
“he’s not adoring you for no good reason!!”
“drat.”
“well. we’re young hip adults--”
“and hijinks ensue!”
“who sit on a big fat couch and whine--”
“with disaaaasterous results!!”
“and have lots of generation x friends who trade zippy, sarcastic banter.”
“and i have a monkey.”
a very original concept.
at least, mr kilmer sems to think so. “hmmm. fresh. but tell me! what really brings you here. what are jamal and jonathan all about.”
“actually, we are two lab mice involved in a broad and sweeping plan to take over the world.”
mr kilmer thinks this is hilarious, apparently.
these guys do not. but they’re not important, for the moment.
the long and short of it, anyway, is that kilmer can’t give them a sitcom because nobody knows who they are, quote unquote. “the day i see your face on the cover of peeple magazine is the day you get a sitcom.”
irritated, jamal and jonathan make their exit.
and mr kilmer laughs so hard at the idea of lab mice trying to take over the world, that he falls out of his chair.
this will become relevant later.
meanwhile -- i just had to screencap this, okay, because of brain’s face. pinky suggests that he get on the cover of peeple by marrying prince charles. and brain thinks this is a horrible idea.
he’s much more interested in princess diana. but no, pinky, the path he must follow is “the same one followed by the leading sitcom stars of the day.”
“i must become a SUCCESSFUL STANDUP COMEDIAN.”
“so hey, how about those mitochondria? do they have enough cilia or what?”
“hey, why don’t you tell a joke you know!”
this may be harder than brain thought. undeterred, though, he presses on.
“do you ever notice how when you’re looking in the mirror of a quadrant electrometre, your forehead seems large?? why is that??”
“i just flew in from cleveland! and boy are my upper extremeties fatigued by a buildup of lactic acid!”
“booooooooooooooo!” says our guy on the left.
“go back to your troll village, squirt!” says his friend on the right. “what do you say to that?”
“i find you repugnant.”
(well. that made them laugh, at least.)
“your stupidity is matched only by the ill-slipped caterpillar, that chews off its’ own wings after emerging from its’ cucoon!!!”
“in fact! all of you! are just a gaggle of pathetically misguided root diggers!!”
“why don’t you all stand under a stalactite and bellow the resonate frequency, causing it to plummet onto your cranium!!”
“you’re all repugnant i say!!! repugnant!!!”
and with that little mousie tantrum out of his system, brain trundles off to sulk.
pinky claps him on the way out.
“egad brain! narf! they love you!”
“yes.”
so then he goes on tv, i guess.
“our comedy challenger is the master of insults! the prince of putdowns! jamal spelling!”
“you’re all a bunch of crevulating nitwits with peat moss for a cortex. repugnant!”
i don’t envy that guy third from the right. he doesn’t look like he’s having a very good time. he’s sensitive about his peat moss cranium, okay? don’t make fun of him.
NEXT ON G, HOWIE TURN HOSTS COMEDIAN JAMAL SPELLING.
“so, uh, jamal spelling. what kind of stupid name is that? cmon? what’s your real name?”
this would be racist if jamal spelling was a human man comedian and not like, a lab mouse. thankfully, this is not the case.
“my real name is the brain.” says brain, helpfully enunciating the “the”. “and you, my unwashed friend, are repugnant.”
HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA.
“oh, you’re hot, baby.”
okay.
but we’re, uh. we’re not going to think about that, and we’re going to go look at the david letterman show instead.
“uh, my next guest-- paul, do you know who our next guest is?”
“daaaaave, i know he’s a beautiful kind of-- nutty cat who just got us all a-wow.”
“here he is, ladies and gentlemen! for your comedy dollar, jamal spelling!!”
jamal spelling appears to be naked.
but he’s funny, so nobody minds.
“somebody here smells like a coagulated agar slant growing in a petri dish. repugnant!”
see! he’s just too comedy for clothes.
(meanwhile, we take a short trip to the office of janet mekko. “welcome, mr kilmer,” she says.
“my... secretary sent me here-- actually, i feel kind of stupid.”
“oh, honey. that’s a good thing! if there weren’t any stupid people, i wouldn’t have any business.”
“now. ya got some paaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.”
(in the distance, dan reynolds - at the tender age of eight - mumbles “you made me a, you made me a believer” in his sleep.)
“yeah.” says mr kilmer, completely unaware of this. “i fell out of my chair.”
“i’m gonna hypnotise you, so relax.”
okay.
“this’ll make you sleepy.”
“what is it?”
“a kenny g album.”
“okay. you’re in a trance. i’m gonna give you a random word. if you feel pain, say that word, you’ll feel good.”
“but careful! cause if you say it when you’re feeling good, the pain will come back! bad.”
spooky.
“and your random word is--”
“repugnant.”
there is, of course, absolutely no way this can go wrong.)
let us turn our view to happier pastures. namely, the mice are watching tv.
TONIGHT ON CIRCUS OF THE STARS
HARRY DEAN ANDERSON GETS SHOT OUT OF A GIANT PASTA MAKER
COMEDIAN JAMAL SPELLING FLIES THE TRAPEZE
AND BOB SAGET GETS TRAMPLED BY A BEAR. we hope.
pinky is elated! “egad, brain! circus of the stars! narf! you’ve really made it!”
pinky wants to be on circus of the stars, don’t you know. unfortunately, as he dutifully informs brain in pretty much the same breath, he hasn’t quite made it into peeple magazine yet.
“hm. it’s time to use plan b, pinky.”
“there was an a?? poit.”
ouch. jesus, pinky.
undeterred, brain marches his merry little ass over to the old timey corded phone.
beep.
“yes, connect me with buckinham palace, please.”
“egad! you did it brain! the cover of peeple!”
rule britannia is playing in the background of this scene. let’s... not think too hard about how this works, and agree that, yes, pauly shore, enough.
no more pauly shore, please.
conclusion:
jerry keeps his word, and, upon learning that jamal spelling is now legally married to princess diana (a fact which would certainly not lead to a warrant for his arrest in a couple of years) he asks him for a demo tape.
for such small hands, jamal sure does have very neat handwriting.
“make me laugh, jamal, and you got yourself a sitcom.”
“why don’t you all stand under a stalactite and bellow the resonate frequency, causing it to plummet onto your cranium!!”
he seems to like it! kilmer makes a little hee hee noise, unprepared for where this is undoubtedly going.
“you’re repungnant!”
“AAUGHGHGHHH.”
there it is.
“repugnant!”
“i say repugnant!”
repugnant repugnant repugnant repugnant
repugnant!
and with that, jerry kilmer falls out of the window.
as he does, he yells “i’ll get you, jamal spelling” which personally i think is unfair. jamal couldn’t have known, surely? don’t be mean to jamal. he’s got a lot on his mind, what with that restraining order against howie turn.
meanwhile, in the lab, the mice debate a good pitch for a pilot (i’ve got it, brain! it’s a show about nothing!) when jamal spelling gets a call.
“hi jamal! this is nina from the tv station. could you come down for a meeting?”
“mm hmmm.”
✨
it’s the WB.
as nina types away, jamal and jonathan enter casually, like this is their house, or something. “are you pleased to see us?” asks jamal, in a cocky, egomaniac labmouse sort of way.”
“yes i am!”
(nina somehow doesn’t notice.)
anyway then these guys find the dentures and pitch the first idea that comes into their heads.
“hey cortex! what do you wanna do tonight?”
don’t ask why mouse dentures fit a human man. we suspend our disbelief here.
(also there was no way this was brain’s fault. he couldn’t have known. outside influence it is. a shame, really.)
brain: 7 pinky: 7 outside influence: 14
thanks for the fun meme, @shuunthenonbeliever !
#patb#pinky and the brain#WHEEZE#if this refuses to post ONE MORE TIME#i am going to go FERAL#i have typed this all out THREE TIMES#I HAVE HAD ENOUGH#some explodey boys for y'all on saturday!#i hope.#if this episode EVER POSTS.
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