#u started this ish

[snekdood]

crazy how i can be ostracized by fems of all varieties but specifically transfems in regards to this post and still not make justifications to make up and call people namecalling ass names that remind them of their assigned gender!

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[nightwonder7]

smiles deviously as you convert to nortalice brainrot

My heckin' brainro- 💥💥💥

Okay, but seriously, this was just as slippery of a slope as when I first entered the IDV fandom hfjdksfd I didn't intend to fall so deep into it as I did 😭 Like??? This is how it started:

And this is how it's going:

Like?? Explain this! How?? I mean, I know how, but how?? Do you see what I mean?? There is no logic or reason, only brainrot 💀 It's all fun though ;w; I'm just equally flabbergasted as I am delighted to be here ghjfhdsjkgfhdjshgd

[shalomniscient]

kjsr w a tengu reader PLEASEE begs at ur feet like how u would beg for feixiao

reader teaches her how to fly and maybe occasionally reader casually js picks her up and carried her in the sky while flying for shitz and giggles

-🇮🇩 anon

??? absolutely unprovoked callout ??? you're right, but like ??? (/j)

anyway, i had a long think about this ask and honestly. i can see sara being somewhat intimidated by a tengu!reader actually. because for all that sara is biologically tengu, for most of her life she was raised by humans. she's always been too tengu to be properly human, though, so when she meets tengu!reader, she's afraid she'll be too human to be tengu. because of this i think she'll keep quite a professional distance from reader at first, and it'll take a lot of effort and work on reader's part to get her to open up.

assuming sara really can't fly, i think her meeting tengu!reader who can will make her feel both an intense longing but also an almost unbearable shame. it's something so natural to a tengu, flight; those wings on her back aren't fake. and yet, the sky has always been out of her reach. when she confesses to reader that she can't fly she'll feel like she's speaking with glass in her mouth. she probably doesn't expect reader to offer to teach her, but her heart stutters in her chest when they do. and if she does learn how to fly thanks to reader's help, it'll be something sara cherishes until the day she dies. when she thinks of the sky she'll think of an endless blue and the sound of your laughter carrying in the wind.

[orange-cheetah]

Makochi Townspeople Profiles

The People Who Give Makochi Town Its Colours!

Yama-jii (山じい)

An elderly man Sakura met at Café Pothos. He was grateful when Sakura let him know he'd forgotten something behind. Kotoha calls him "Yama-jii".

Satou-baachan (さとうのばあちゃん)

Sakura gave her a piggyback ride since her hips were hurting so much she couldn't stand. Jumped off Sakura's back and landed like someone from the Av*ngers.

Liquor store (酒店) - Butcher's (精肉店) - Fruit and vegetable store　(青果店)

Bakery (ベーカリー)

Taiyaki place (たい焼き店)

Monjayaki place (もんじゃ焼き店)

The People of Tonpu Shopping Street (東風商店街の人々)

The people running shops on Tonpu Shopping Street. They give Bofurin gifts from their shops like bread and fruit for protecting the town. There are also people like the owner of the liquor store, who challenges underage Sakura to a drinking match…

Granny of the first aid kit (救急箱のおばあさん)

A kind old woman who brought a first aid kit over to tend to Sakura, who had been stabbed in the leg. This became an opportunity for Sakura to start building relationships with others again.

The girl Nirei helped (楡井が助けた女性)

The girl who asked Sakura for help as Nirei was getting beaten one-sidedly by some delinquents. The reason Nirei got involved with the delinquents was to protect her from them.

Sasaki (笹城)

The junior high school student who found himself caught up with Shishitoren while chasing a shoplifter on the shopping street. Sakura and the others saved him while he was being attacked by Shishitoren.

The female student Kiryu helped (桐生が助けた女子生徒)

The girl Kiryu brought to Muscle Power. She was being harassed by some delinquents but received help from Kiryu.

Granny (おばあちゃん)

Asked Kaji and the others for help when her pet cat Risa-chan went missing. This doesn't seem to be the first time Risa-chan has run away.

Risa-chan (リサちゃん)

A cat with a pink ribbon as its defining trait. Perhaps because it was being chased by Sakura, its momentum caused it to jump into the river, but was saved by Kaji.

土屋 (Tsuchiya)

A childhood friend of Anzai who used to play with him at the park since they were little. Even now that Anzai has entered Furin High, it seems they still meet at the park of their memories.

長門 (Nagato)

Anzai's childhood friend. Mature and kind, he always went along with Anzai and Tsuchiya's recklessness. After that, the three of them went to different high schools and became separated.

[masterlist]

[obsob]

do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc

short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333

[wispscribbles]

hi i just discovered your beautiful art so i obviously needed to scroll down your whole blog to catch up on everything you posted haha

i just wanted to say that i got way too emotional after reading that post of yours regarding mw3 and your mental health… on one hand i’m so sorry that you felt that way, but on the other i feel it with my whole heart

ghoap content especially for me helped me these past few months with my mental health in ways i would never have expected, it was my solace and inspiration, i started working out too and got back into drawing, got a lot better at it as well!

but unfortunately i get way too fixated on fictional stuff and there comes a time that my brain switches up and connects the things i liked and comforted me with things that make me extremely uncomfortable and stressed out, especially if i fall down a fandom rabbit hole that i would never have searched up, beacuse i know myself, i know my limits and triggers but i feel like i’m not a part of the fandom if i don’t like and interact with every single headcanon, art and ship

these past days i was really down because of that, and the things i read (why did i do that???) and now when i think of ghoap i think of that stuff and im scared that i alienated myself from the one thing that made me happy

but discovering your art and with that your post reminded me that im not alone in these feelings, even if it’s not the same exactly, and i wanted to thank you, for sharing your thoughts that time i guess haha <33

((sorry for rambling))

Long reply under 'keep reading' !! CW: talk of triggers and MCD

Always feel free to ramble my way!!! How nice you could find some comfort in my art and ghoap stuff. Especially in my mw3 post. I've been considering deleting it a few times, but hearing it maybe helped to read in some way makes me happy I left it up.

I get where you're coming from - I very much use these fictional characters as a safe space, but ppl view them very differently. There's room for it all, "don't like, don't interact" is very much a policy I agree with. It's important to mute words and be aware of your own triggers as you browse stuff in this fandom, because there's such a wide variety of stuff out there. You do NOT have to interact and agree with every thought people have on this ship, that's impossible and super stressful. There's plenty of stuff and headcanons I don't vibe with. There are no 'requirements' that you have to meet in order to enjoy fiction.

It's part of why I enjoy ghoap - that their dynamic resonates and has sparked so much creativity and outlets for so many - but it also means there's gonna be a lot of stuff u don't necessarily agree with or feel comfortable with. For example, a lot of folks use the MCD in mw3 as a way to explore grief, which I think is really cool, but on a bad day that could potentially get my brain in a bad headspace, so I only check out that art and those fics when I feel okay. There's also a bunch of stuff I'd never want to interact with, and that’s fine !!

I'm personally quite vanilla and a sucker for exploring the softer, more domestic aspects of these characters. It's what brings me joy. I know there are parts of this fandom who don’t vibe with what I make at all, and would call it untrue to the characters. Some creators enjoy exploring the more violent or toxic sides to the source material. That's just how it is, we all need different things from fiction. As long as we're capable of chilling in our respective sandboxes, then all's good.

But if you're like me, and enjoy the softer things, then definitely be aware and careful while exploring this ship and fandom. I've seen takes on these characters that are so far removed from how I view them, that they're basically the complete opposite, and it can leave a very bad taste, especially if you're the type to hinge your safe space on fiction.

Just... be mindful of yourself and your potential triggers, be respectful and don't interact with things that make you uncomfortable to the point of feeling unsafe. Shape your own online experience to your best ability.

Hope you're doing okay and still find joy in ghoap <3

[bet-h]

“Its just a hobby.”

“You won’t get far.”

“Pick another job.”

__________________

“Ok”

“But what else am i good at tho?”

——————————

;(

[cyberpunkaddict]

"Just friends, right?"

"Right..."

[azurecoffin]

saw that requests for x men drawings are open and i would LOVE to see your take on rictor!!!

Sorry this took forever! You got me into Ricstar so I got distracted in reading Ricstar comics & fanfics! It was for research but now I can't stop screaming & crying & throwing up about them!

Casual Rictor

Also it was nice playing around with Green for a change instead of Red!

Prev: Boom-Boom Trinary M Armor Pixie Surge

Requests are open for Casual X-Men (Tho I'll focus on anyone who's a B-Lister or below) I'm gonna try to catch up to my goal of one a day but I have accepted the fact that it will likely bleed into August!

[deus-ex-mona]

scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:

[stealingpotatoes]

Okay but is eli team edward or team jacob

have you SEEN who his boyfriend is???? obviously edward

[atanxdoesstuff]

nejisasu doodle! a universe where the hyuuga's slavery bs doesn't get ignored and Neji and Sasuke are better off for it (and also they're married)

[dnangelic]

like it's just the way that outside of the BATB/POTO 'love what's ugly and ostracized' narrative itself cocteau was gay and everybody hated his gall about it, howard ashman was gay and had to conceal it and died of aids after finishing his work for disney's batb.... rather than have dark be homophobic and spitting in the face of his inspirational roots (the sole canon detail i can't stand) it's much much much more interesting for me to both read and write not someone who's meant to be a pervert (in humor) and an agape lover (in serious contextualization) only to turn and say 'no homo' to the crowd every single time but rather, instead of all that, someone who, simultaneously taking daisuke into account, is both extremely firm yet simultaneously insecure in the struggle to establish their identity not only in regards to themselves but also around others.

that applies to a lot, but i've been considering it especially in regards to dark's gender and daisuke's attractions. dark in my portrayal (while overall 500% nonbinary) is closer to someone bi-gender rather than agender; the feminine aspect to him isn't just theatrics, it's actively also part of his entirety to him, (compared to daisuke's passivity; the ten thousand canonical princess allusions,) and even if nobody ever recognizes it in a cognizant way, it is always, always there, the same way that erik blurs and obscures gender in leroux's novel (my second enormous inspiration, sugisaki's outright admitted primary) and sakurai occasionally discusses his relationship as both a performer and a person as well (my third enormous inspiration and sugisaki's secondary,) (see 1, 2.) simply put, the tragedy of (my!) dark does not ever derive from his being able to choose and sit comfortably and confidently with this sort of identity (in fact, it's one of the few things he can stubbornly, viciously decide for himself [alongside daisuke] as essentially a non-human, autonomous 'angel',) it's instead the way that his personality is so strong and 'anti-feminine' in the eyes of convention that said aspect of himself often gets disregarded for strictly masculine (and regardless, further self-contradictory and therefore isolating,) expectations.

dark himself alone does not care if others do not understand him; this is meant to be one of his far more admirable and impressive traits. he's staunchly independent: he knows who he is, what he's supposed to be, and he knows that if he actively presented himself more femininely (crossdressing to 'pass' essentially,) then people's behaviors WOULD be very likely to change around him, but he doesn't even do that because it goes against his overwhelming sense of pride. he never contorts, he never twists himself, what matters to him is that he and he alone understands himself and knows what he is, what he isn't. but he is, without proper support or acceptance, still alone. even bearing a strong character, the stifling loneliness and inherent, underlying self-sense of broken/wrongness of the 'other,' (god's luciferean problem child, the black sheep, the black-leather wearing punk,) is still inflicted on him. dark exists solely for himself, he exists solely for daisuke, which is simultaneously wherein the inversion and insecurities lie: if dark is canonically the live metaphor for all the aspects of daisuke's self that he attempts to and yet cannot possibly, conceivably repress, from his loves to his faults to his shames and his criminal sins as a thief, then the likes of daisuke's own personal confusions in regards to himself and his attempts at intimacy/socialization with others is the other, hidden side of dark's absolute self-confidence; it's every fear of perpetual isolation, misunderstanding, and abandonment for things outside of daisuke's own control.

queerness in relation to the self (transgender allegory) queerness in relation to others (non-hetero-romanticism) mental illness (depression, anxiety,) etc, etc, dark's thematic basis may at its most general simply be "a secret that feels wrong and that you feel you can't really tell anyone or else you'll get in trouble/won't be as liked as much" but it feels much better to give due respect to each of these primary roots.

[why-the-heck-not]

Bought 2 two cans of monster ultra and an unlawful amount of gummy bears and I’m going to trick my anxiety-riddled brain with a simultaneous sugar and caffeine rush to get these presentation slides done

[moonpastries]

春の嵐呼んだ / 僕は泣いた / 心傷つけられた