#and all the people he lets danzo kidnap and brainwash

[atanxdoesstuff]

nejisasu doodle! a universe where the hyuuga's slavery bs doesn't get ignored and Neji and Sasuke are better off for it (and also they're married)

[panharmonium]

so, just to be clear - here is a sampling of crimes that the third hokage KNEW for a fact that danzo committed, long before we got anywhere near the uchiha massacre: 

asked kakashi to steal confidential documents for him

ordered foundation ninja to assassinate the hokage

is secretly in possession of a wood-style user who sarutobi knows was kidnapped as an infant ten years ago and experimented on by orochimaru 

attempted to have sixteen year-old kakashi murdered

put curse marks on his students

ANY ONE of these things is enough that danzo should have been done-zo, immediately upon the crime’s discovery.  HE TRIED TO HAVE A SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD ASSASSINATED.  WHY THE FUCK DOES THE THIRD HOKAGE KEEP LOOKING AWAY AND SAYING “WE’LL LET IT SLIDE THIS TIME” AND “WE’LL CONSIDER THIS SETTLED AMICABLY”

THE FUCK

i feel like i’m losing my mind.  is there something i’m missing?  my read of this is that it must be intended as another extension of hiruzen’s previously established weakness - aka, even as far back as shonen jump, the show makes it clear that the third hokage’s failure is that he was too soft on orochimaru, to the point where even when orochimaru’s horrific crimes were discovered, hiruzen couldn’t strike him down - he felt too much lingering affection for him to do the right thing and stop him from escaping, and his failure in that moment led to many terrible tragedies later, because it meant orochimaru got away and went on to do more horrible things.  (that’s why during kakashi’s confrontation with sasuke, kakashi thinks back to that story and knows he can’t make the same mistake with his own student, as much as it pains him.)  

the only way i can watch this most recent arc and have things make sense is by assuming that we’re supposed to be reading hiruzen’s approach to danzo the same way - as a FAILURE.  hiruzen is too weak to put his foot down about someone he obviously used to consider a close friend, and his inability to do so is going to lead to later tragedies (itachi’s fate, the uchiha massacre, sai’s backstory, etc).  if it weren’t for the way the show treats hiruzen everywhere else, i wouldn’t feel any uncertainty about this read at all, but i don’t understand why sometimes the show still seems to want me to believe the third hokage was some kind of hero/benevolent grandpa, when his actions are so unquestionably wrong.  

it’s not like he only has vague suspicions that maybe danzo might be up to shady business.  he KNOWS danzo tried to kill him.  he KNOWS danzo ordered foundation ninja to assassinate kakashi (and he doesn’t even know why, because the bit about danzo having a sharingan never got relayed, due to the curse mark yamato was branded with - which, wouldn’t that leave you with more questions????).  how can you excuse a man who tried to assassinate an innocent sixteen year-old for apparently no reason other than a personal grudge and yet still be considered morally righteous?  how can you just let this man continue to remain in power and wield authority over the kid he tried to kill, on top of all the other crimes you have proof that he committed, and still be treated by the show as a shining example of goodness?????????  i’m legitimately at a loss.  i don’t understand it.

that conversation the hokage has with danzo (after danzo tries to assassinate him) where hiruzen’s like “wherever there is light there is shadow, but if you take one away the world is out of balance” made me so unbelievably angry, like - NO!!!!!!!!!!  IT IS IN FACT BETTER NOT TO HAVE PEOPLE OUT THERE TRYING TO MURDER INNOCENT TEENAGERS AND BRAINWASH CHILDREN AND COMMIT GENOCIDE AND STEAL BODY PARTS AND COLLABORATE WITH OROCHIMARU ON HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION THAT KEPT BABIES LIKE YAMATO TRAPPED IN A TEST TUBE FROM INFANCY ACTUALLY, AND THE FACT THAT YOU THINK THESE THINGS ARE SOMEHOW EXCUSABLE OR NECESSARY FOR “BALANCE” IS JUST AS EVIL AS ANYTHING DANZO EVER DID SO FUCK YOU.  FUCK YOU FROM HERE TO ETERNITY.  I’M HAPPY OROCHIMARU KILLED YOU

[spoiler disclaimer: please remember i am watching this for the first time!  don’t send me spoilers or tag your reblogs with even vaguely spoilery stuff, because i have to see tags automatically.  thanks!]

[jacksgreysays]

Hisoka!AU of DOS, Rokudaime(whoever you pick to end up with that job in this verse), A Steady Hand (NOTE: For Hisoka!AU, see Recursive forum pg 489 #14,655 - Snapshots From The Past Of Hisoka by donahermurphy pg 489 #14,665 - A Meeting While Fleeing The Garden & Desert by Tirfarthuan pg 491 #14,716 - A Name & A Gift Passed On by Tirfarthuan)

A/N: Thanks for the biblio [1+2, 3], dona--I did not know who Hisoka was before this, so those helped a lot! I did, also, have to reread the Lone Wolf 'verse since from what I understand Hisoka is an AU of that 'verse specifically? If not, please let me know.

Anyway, on rereading Lone Wolf 'verse, here are the facts that I gleaned:

Danzo is Hokage

Hiruzen died of "natural causes" several years before canon

Kakashi "betrayed the village" somehow and is being called Comrade-Killer more prevalently than canon

Asuma is probably dead

Yuuhi Shinku isn't an entire dick (since Uchiha Uzume can think about him without an automatic insult attached)

Shin is still alive (but very slowly dying)

and Kurenai is helping the Uchiha at the very least cover up a meeting with Kakashi outside of the village.

The facts of the Hisoka!AU are:

Shikako was taken to be ROOT

in order to protect those she cared about she mentally/spiritually maimed herself to the point where she no longer counted as "a Shikako" to Gelel

her partner for the final exam was Sai

she escaped/convinced Sai that the point of the final exam was to fake her death and became a fishmonger on the coast of Wind

when Shikako!Prime leaves via Gelel she "wakes up" from said previous mental/spiritual maiming

Kakashi finds her and they're a lovely wolf and cub pair who aim to kill Danzo (and get rid of their loneliness and maybe heal)

... okay, now that I typed all that out, did you mean Hisoka!AU of canon DoS instead of the Hisoka!AU of the Lone Wolf 'verse? Because those are different things, I think. But I kinda figured Hisoka!AU was intrinsically tied to the Lone Wolf 'verse, so, uh, here's a couple of ideas I had in mind:

1) Akimichi Chouza as Rokudaime.

Because after the absolute worst sort of "warmongering, self-cannibalizing, Konoha first" bullshit that Danzo spewed, the village needs someone who recognizes that being the village leader means making and protecting a home worth living in, not just a harsh taskmaster sending his soldiers out to die.

I considered Shikaku!Rokudaime for a similar sort of reason, but it's not as thematic and, also on a personal level, he can't. In a Hisoka!AU, he has to reconcile the fact that he gave one of his children--willingly or not, even if Danzo wiped his memory later--to a man who he already knew would exploit her horrendously. Maybe he didn't know the full extent of ROOT's training (surely not the final exam) but the fact that he was apprehensive and still went through with it is not a good look.

Even if Hisoka and Kakashi do not return to the village proper (and part of me is like, hey! They shouldn't! And I will go into that more in a little bit) he has to make amends to at least her, if not both of them, and he can't be Hokage and bound to prioritize the village over her if he ever wants to succeed.

Chouza, on the other hand, is the only one of the three who never made that decision (I'm still a little side-eyeing the Yamanaka clan, because surely a clan whose whole deal is KNOWING WHEN MENTAL SHENANIGANS IS GOING ON should have seen that with Fu, especially since he was allowed to keep his name and also, probably, had to have clan training to learn the clan jutsu, but maybe it wasn't Inoichi who made that deal? Maybe it was his predecessor. Either way, still mega sketch. I'm a little hand-wavy with Shibi and the Aburame because I headcanon that the Kyuubi largely wiped out what power they had the most out of any of the clans and they were like. Desperate to survive. And didn't have allied clans to bolster them.) And yes, probably that's because as far as fighting styles are concerned, they rely on their clan jutsu which is very recognizable and thus not great for ANBU (in the same way that I imagine the Inuzuka aren't often recruited into ANBU) but it's still a notable fact. The Akimichi are trustworthy pillars of the village and have been since the beginning.

And it helps that of the Nidaime's team, Akimichi Torifu was one of two of the full six who didn't turn into an old corruptible asshole. Sure, we don't necessarily know what happened to him, but he wasn't specifically seen as an old corruptible asshole so I think he's winning. It reflects well on his clan as a whole. Also, given my headcanon of the Akimichi actively cultivating their ties with civilians and also possibly the Daimyo's family they have, alongside military might, financial and political clout.

Anyway, while a possible Tsunade as Rokudaime would have similar vibes (and does, you know, match canon and have those canon reasons for working) in terms of "healing the village" etc. etc. This is a Tsunade whose most bitter cynicism was proven right? And there's no inspirational Naruto to convince her otherwise. And also, Tsunade shouldn't HAVE to clean up Danzo's mess. Like, the minuscule obligation she had to clean up Hiruzen's mess does not apply to Danzo. (It's a little like... Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru were raised to be the ultimate team to take over for Hiruzen except they didn't know it and were dysfunctional. The fact that Hiruzen's death was by Orochimaru's hand and between her and Jiraiya she is the better choice is the only reason why she has that slight obligation to go back to Konoha. Whereas, with Danzo? FUCK THAT NOISE. That's a mess the village needs to resolve on their own. THEY'RE the ones who let it get so bad. THEY'RE the ones who need to deal with it)

And also, another reason why I don't really want Tsunade as Rokudaime is because I kind of like the idea of Kakashi and Hisoka sort of orbiting/paralleling her and Shizune. Like, there's a not-so-secret society of Konoha expatriates who aren't actually missing-nin and both love and hate the village and Tsunade is exasperatedly fond of those two disasters whereas she is sickened by the village. Maybe one day it will have fixed itself enough that she'll go back and visit and whip their Medic Corps into shape, but that is not any time soon!

Also, also, also, and I don't know if you remember this, dona, but in your In Which Someone Attempts to Kidnap Shikamaru, Instead, Inoichi brings up something called the Regency Protocol with Ino in regards to Danzo kidnapping Shikako and brainwashing Shikaku to forget and originally I thought it was some kind of Ino-Shika-Cho contingency plan where the three clans take over the village BECAUSE DANZO IS KIDNAPPING AND MURDERING CHILDREN AND THE SANDAIME WAS LETTING IT HAPPEN ON HIS WATCH? And of the three clans, the Akimichi really do have the traditional fighting prowess to wear the hat, so that's part of this too.

I just think an Akimichi Hokage would be pretty chill about it. Like. They wear power well and are good at managing people without crushing them in the fist of tyranny.

---

2) Maito Gai as Rokudaime.

This one actually for similar reasons as Chouza. Although, in terms of lineage, Gai could be Shichidaime, not that we're particularly holding to that Hokage teacher-student lineage so much.

In terms of semi-parallels where canon goes Tsunade to Kakashi, that means Gai also is a candidate. And in regards to showing the village/world a new kind of Hokage, he's as far from Danzo as one could get. He's straightforward and kind and draws out the potential from everyone and honestly real great but also wouldn't send someone into a mission he himself wouldn't do. Obviously, being a Hokage would mean delegating and sending shinobi on missions, but he would never send them out to die just because. Yes there are risky missions, but he would send those best suited to succeed with every tool available to them so they can succeed. Whereas Danzo would just throw bodies at a problem and kill the survivors for not doing it good enough.

The main difference between a Rokudaime Gai vs Rokudaime Chouza is that Gai's Konoha would rely less on the clan system. Of his three students, two were not from clans and the third is from the Hyuuga Branch (AND YOU KNOW FOR SURE THAT'S GOING TO BE SOMETHING FINALLY ADDRESSED BY A HOKAGE BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK). Yes, his sensei was Akimichi Chouza, but neither of his teammates were clan either. A Konoha under the rule of Rokudaime Gai is a Konoha that builds up those who don't have the same infrastructure as clans, who strengthens civilian-born and clan-born alike, who make sure that talented civilian-born students aren't only noticed by predatory old men who can sweep there existences under the rug.

Because truly one of the many ways that Danzo's weird self-hating megalomania harmed the village was by draining away the talented civilian-borns of Konoha. He who hated that the Shimura were a near-civilian clan, committed the worst crimes against those who could have proved that bloodline wasn't everything. He was so obsessed with the power of the Sharingan that it became a self fulfilling prophecy. Any talented non-bloodline student who could have proven a challenge were stolen and smothered before they could prove themselves.

Because imagine this: one day some random student with the ubiquitous last name of Satou or Tanaka or Honda beats Uchiha Itachi in a spar. Maybe its an accident. Maybe they got lucky. Maybe Itachi wasn't taking them seriously (after all, what could some no name civilian born do to him?). But those maybes don't matter. Satou or Tanaka or Honda gets in one good hit. Surprises the prodigy of the Uchiha clan. Knocks him out.

The teacher takes a note of it. Talks about it in the teacher's lounge. One of Danzo's spies brings news of that notable spar.

By the next week--maybe even the next day--Satou or Tanaka or Honda is gone. No one beats Uchiha Itachi in a spar anymore. And ROOT adds another nameless, faceless soldier to its ranks.

BUT NONE OF THAT HAPPENS UNDER HOKAGE MAITO GAI. Because it is civilians that make Konoha a village and not just a loose coalition of clans. Because a name and a bloodline are not necessary to make a person great.

3) And here's the angsty/semi-bleak option: Yuuhi Kurenai as Rokudaime.

And I wrote a little bit for it, but I'm a little... mreh... about it because it does revolve a lot around the various men in her life which I'm not exactly proud of, tbh, but aaaaaaaaaagh this is endemic to a lot of Naruto fic. D:<

Yuuhi Kurenai is nobody's first choice.

(She was Asuma's first choice, and he was hers, and that had nothing to do with either of their fathers. Except now Asuma is--)

Her father wanted a son. A proper heir. Someone to elevate the prestige of the Yuuhi clan.

(In another universe, Yuuhi Shinku will think the only way his daughter can benefit the clan is through marriage, not her own merits. In this universe Yuuhi Shinku is a little bit more open minded enough to make do. He's still a dick, but not as much of one as he could've been. This puts Kurenai in an interesting position.)

The Uchiha clan are pursuing another ally with a little more fire power, a little more name recognition, and all the intimidation and influence that entails.

(But look at where that got Kakashi, exiled and with his reputation in tatters. Look at Gai who so eagerly and overtly wants to follow. Look at Asuma who--)

The rest of the village would prefer someone who didn't look so much like the clan of would be traitors. Someone who didn't have black hair and piercing red eyes. Someone who didn't specialize in genjutsu, an art for liars.

(Oh, but they were fine quietly suffering under a man who lied and stole and murdered. A man who manipulated and cheated and framed others for his crimes. A man who ruined everything he touched and Asuma tried to stop him, gods, but then he--)

And the world doesn't quite know what to do with a Hokage like her. Or a Kage that is a her, for that matter.

Yuuhi Kurenai is nobody's first choice.

But that's fine. She can make do.

She can make miracles out of nothing.

So the thought process to get to a Rokudaime Kurenai went kind of like such. Obviously, the Uchiha would prefer an Uchiha Hokage. However that largely depends on whether they succeed in their coup or not. There's the distinct possibility that Kakashi plus Shikako!Prime or Kakashi plus Hisoka will just kill Danzo and then leave, forcing the rest of the village deal with the consequences... AS THEY SHOULD... and thus also sort of cutting the coup off at the knees.

If the coup doesn't succeed (whether out of failure or because Kakashi and a Shikako kills Danzo first before they're prepared to do the rest of the coup) then if the political climate actually matches the one they perceive themselves being in (although, I don't think the Uchiha are as hated as they think they are, but its hard for them to see that isolated as they've been forced to be) then they're unlikely to get an Uchiha Hokage especially if news of them actually seeking an alliance with Comrade-Killer Hatake Kakashi comes out. Much less the aborted/failed coup. 

Anyway, no Uchiha Hokage without a successful coup... although, if there were a successful coup, the three Uchiha I would think would be even feasible would be Fugaku--boring, bland, but that's what they know. Shisui--friendly, well liked by those outside the clan, has an international reputation. Mikoto--this is largely based on fanon/headcanon, but she was ANBU Captain? That's pretty neat.

But, uh, to get back to the no Uchiha Hokage... Kakashi's reputation is still in tatters. Maito Gai could be a good option, but while his lack of clan is a good thing for future Konoha, he doesn't quite have the political backing necessary to get there. (Namikaze Minato was an undisputed war hero. Maito Gai hasn't quite proven himself that level yet)

If its brought up that the Ino-Shika-Cho were compromised (ie, Shikaku would have worked closely with Hokage Danzo as the Jounin Commander and also one of Danzo's top ROOT agents is Yamanaka Fu) then even Chouza's candidacy would be suspect.

The village wants Tsunade. But Tsunade does not want it. I have no fucking idea what Jiraiya has been up to, but if he didn't want the hat after Hiruzen died he sure as fuck won't want it after whatever Danzo's done with it.

The Hokage's Council is suspect. Yuuhi Shinku, for all that he is similarly important to the infrastructure of Konoha while also not being part of Danzo's corruption (in another universe, he very well would have been, desperate for power), isn't actually that strong and is old, besides. (The village has had enough of old men entrenched in positions of power telling them what to do).

But he does have a daughter. Genjutsu specialist, yes, but with potential and room to grow. And Sarutobi Asuma loved her (and, fuck, what a shitty campaign to run on, the would-have-been-widow of the Sandaime's son, but you know Shinku would be ruthless in pushing that. Remember, not as much of a dick in other 'verses, but still a dick) so she has that tether to the old regime, tentative as it is.

No one really has any major objections, but no one is really all that gung-ho about it either (except for maybe Anko who will punch all detractors in the face and may very well be a one woman Hokage's Guard).

Kurenai least of all. Because she doesn't want to be Hokage, but she'd rather step up and do it than watch her village tear itself apart even further. And maybe she doesn't know who she is just yet, and maybe it sucks that she's going to have to discover that while also being Hokage, but gods she's going to try her best because at least she knows what Danzo was doing was wrong and that there's no way she can do worse than him unless she just actively slaughtered children in the street.

...

Hm, yeah, kinda bleak ending. But as I said. The Rokudaime Kurenai one is the angsty-bleak option. I mean, it gets more hopeful, but it is a struggle I think for both her and the village.

I know its not a proper ficlet fill, dona, but hope you enjoyed this brain storm / meta anyway. :D