#u pick bc i suck
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@octeiva ♡'D FOR A STARTER !
❝ do you mind if i sleep here tonight? ❞
#this cute be cute ; this could be sad ; this could be angsty#u pick bc i suck#octeiva#first ic post back and ofc its for u MWAH#𝐢𝐢𝐢. ⠀ ⠀ 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ⠀ 、 ⠀ this is reality. reality sucks .#𝐢. ⠀ ⠀ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 ⠀ 、 ⠀ closed starter .
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#“i'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated you” why can't u say smt unserious back#like “sorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.” or like “ur loss lmao”#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like “hmm i see. that's an interesting way to play it” WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING “INTERESTING” ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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im so sick of reading ooc dabihawks fics make them try and kill each other fr i have a GUN
#always written as lovesick morons. i can handle it better for dabi ironically like he is an emotional little asshole#i can see him obsessing over someone and accidentally falling in cringe gay love about it#but it can't be done in a way where he is anything but the specific brand of pathetic i have in myhead#like ooo make him insecure do u know how juicy it is that touya 'dont ever put me in second place or i'll set us both on fire' todoroki#is shipped with takami 'i am literally always gonna pick my job over you lol' keigo. and yet NO ONE UTILISES ITTTTTT#INCOMPETENT! that's the word im looking for omg. you can make him emotional and pathetic but do NAWT make him incompetent in front of ME#and hawks.. deep breath wtf is his fanon characterisation.... you made him a himbo....#like i complain about dabi characterisation bc that's my best friend and only i understand him but in general fanon is actually fine#BUT HAWKS???? WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO THAT MAN 😭#he needs to be an asshole im afraid. i loveeeeeeeeeeeee dabihawks fics where dabi is the villain for objective shit like murder and crime#but hawks is the one who is just so so much worse from a reader's pov like he needs to be kinda heartless#will always prioritise his duty over himself and certainly over any lover. dabi is just his target at the end of the day#and yeah obvs he needs to love him back AT SOME POINT im not a masochist im a sucker for the unrealistically fluffy ending#but they need to suffer for that shit!!!! and hawks has to betray dabi at least 4 times#and for fuck sake MAKE THEM TRY AND KILL EACH OTHER FR!!! I HAVE A GUN!!#stop depolluting my toxic yaoi. um. pretty baby. dont suck the rot right out of their bloodstream?#dabihawks#mha#this coming from ur local fujo who has beaten the dabihawks ao3 tag for all its worth. can anyone help me… a rec… pls….
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3rd trimester begins + baby shower time!
#i chose the gender reveal cake cuz its cute but we're not doing that here at hauntedtrait we dont believe in gendering babies#anyways im in a shit ton of pain and if u engage with this post u will help me feel better <3333#minimal editing bc my laptop sucks#posting will be sporadic but im excited to post the gameplay i did before i left for brazil#ts4 legacy#s4 legacy#ts4 gameplay#s4 gameplay#nsb2#nsb2: sapphire#gen: sapphire#azure scott#sidney price#morgan fyres#calliope scott#greta laurent#chiara carvalho#savannah price#as usual there were more ppl at the event but i can never get anyone in the same gd shot#but sidney's parents were there and sowas lia#i had azure's outfit picked out for this for ages and it was so cuteeeeee but this bitch had to get pregnant in winter lmao#but i tried to adapt lol#z
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geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)
Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.
But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!
This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards
If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!
P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.
The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.
Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.
But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.
Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!
I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !
As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.
Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.
#chattin#answered#i have mentioned it before but i did NOT romance anyone#u know why? bc i literally didnt know it existed#i maxed out ann and the game was like ‘hey. this next decision is important’#and i was like. huh. u know what. i have not looked up a guide until now. thats scary. i dont want to lose a confidant…#and learned that.#so uh. i really DID go through the game bot realizing i could date anyone. even the adults.#anyway. this was alot. and i tried to keep out alot of my other complaints#bc i have so many. but they are like. either nitpicky things or things that are issues in lots of games too#like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints#and i do like the little animations!! i like akiras little tics#and i like seeing personas do their casting animations; shiki ouji and nekomata are my faves#i distinctly remember that being a thing i wished to see more of.#bc i liked thinking of what joker would look like fighting for Real#and then i remembered him being in smash so i was like COOL. ill look at those#and then i got STRIKERS and it was exactly what I wanted#i think#the game is like.#its bad. but in ways that i wouldnt call another game bad#like back 4 blood is BAD bad. its awful. the gameplay is bad. the story was shit. and the servers shut down within a year or two of launch#risk of rain 2 is bad in the way that it continuously obscures and withholds information to the player. its tedious and frustrating#but unlike b4b i LIKE ror2 and will continue to enjoy it.#bc the gameplay loop FEELS satisfying#and ultimately thats how i feel about p5#for all of its faults; its fun. it has a gameplay loop that is consistent and fun when u get the hang of it#im playing on hard again since merciless is just me making the right instakill builds while i pick up my team over and over again#and theres still a challenge in having the endgame weapons and armor#its satisfying! and i think its satisfying bc I was given the luck of having this be my introduction into the series#maybe i would have a better opinion on the game if i came from p4. or maybe not! who knows !
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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music#which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad#its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading#papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot#i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages#and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc#i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this#works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab#have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier#so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break#myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take#the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me#so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester#i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt#my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just#at the end of the line and it sucks#unrelated
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STARDEW VALLEY -> ALL ABOUT LUCY 🍒
"All the big bugs will be in town! Are you coming?"
i saw @littlebirdofprey do an adorable template for their farmer and just had to do one myself!! lucy's portrait was made using this picrew ♡
less yellow coloring bc i’m indecisive :]
#this is soooooo fun#sdv#edit*#ch: lucy#more fun facts abt luce is she was a serial monogamist like a TOTAL player before moving to stardew#bc working a corporate job sucks the soul of u and u just want to feel alive u know?? eat some coochie and then you'll calm down etc#she also started growing sunflowers just for haley once she realized they're her favorite#and she's rlly close to jodi bc jodi instantly took her in and made her feel welcome and gave her stable ground to stand on#she's also close to robin alex and leah but it was hard to pick which to add to the roster#bc abigail is more of a dungeon partner than a bestie but it's still a significant relationship so i had 2 include her#she doesn’t like sap bc they have a huge orchard and it sticks to her fingers + soda gives her a tummyache + escargot was made by the devil#she also loves her cows soooososososososososososo much......#ANYWAYS. love her.
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UPDATE. HOLYYYY SHIT DUDE THAT INTERLUDE. AMY WAKE UP YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME !!!!!!!!!! HELLO???? WHAT THE FUCK????? DUDE. AMY. OH GOD OH FUCK
I LOVE BONESAW SHES SO SCARY <3 how far did you get into the suckening btw. did you meet the weylin twins. I think bonesaw would be such good friends with the weylin twins.
hey also? what the fuck? bonesaw? bonesaw can we talk. i just want to talk. please. can I pick your brain. oh no. oh wait. aha. bad choice of words.
#TALKING IN THE TAGS. just because i think the bit of just the dallon-pelham torment nexus image here is funny. and also ive had it saved for#fucking forever its where the winters family torment nexus bit came from originally LMFAO.#anyway. ohh god.!!!!! sickos yes haha yes!!!!!!!!!!! everybody sucks here it's so miserable!!! surely this will have no devastating#consequences down the road :)))#i fucking LOVE bonesaw SO MUCH shes everything 2 meeeee. i love u bonesaw she is my favorite. i was half excited for u 2 get to this one bc#of the Amy Horror but also half bc bonesaw.... :]]] she is so good. I HAVEN'T MET THE WEYLIN TWINS YET but i know them#peripherally already + am lowkey obsessed w them from all ive gathered so far they would be SUCH good friends <33#anyway im sure bonesaw would love to pick your brain!!! ^___^ (this is not the last of her talking abt powers though dw)#anyway. AHGHGHGHHH. man. this is the start of like one of the Big Worm Things. amy is worm fandoms vriska!!!!!1#she isnt worms vriska narratively someone else is worms vriska. but she is so fandom vriska. ahaha.#holding ur hand!!!!!!!!!#mac tag!#wormposting
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2 days till my final exam rant in tags sorry i gotta let it spill somewhere 😭
#IM DYINGGGG#there are so many things to memorise#and theyre gonna pick 2 questions from a list of 60?????#and my whole degree relies on this?????#im sorry who the hell thought of this system#id MUCH rather write a 2h long exam than have to orally answer questions for 10mins fr#and if i get a topic i dont fully understand that’s it. it’s over for me#bc u have to answer both to pass#they should at least let us pick 2 out of 3 or something 😭#i also hate my procrastinating ass#i shoulda been doing 15qs a day and ive been doing between 1 and 5#and now i have 50 questions (so probably around 70A4 pages) to memorise by THURSDAY AT 9AM#i swear to god why do i always do this#also turns out that for the thesis presentation it’s forbidden to use notes 😀#I AM NOT GOOD AT SPEAKING I AM NOT GOOD AT THIBKING MY MEMORY SUCKS HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PASS THIS#im so fucking anxious#but funniest thing is IM STILL ACTIVELY PROCRASTINATING#LIKE??? ISNT THE PRESSURE ENOUGH YET??????#i fucking KNOW for a FACT even if i started studying RIGHT NOW i probably wont make it with all the questions by the exam date#and i skipped ALL THE HARDEST ONES FOR NOW#i swear to god guys im gonna go fucking crazy with this#i know it’s nearly over but it’s KILLING MEEEEE#please why cant i skip time to when it’s over#help me manifest not getting a finance/law question pls guys#hela yaps
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guys will you love me even if i get back into assassin's creed. i used to love those games in middle school and i played black flag with a friend today and it was so much fun even though it sucks so bad and it's painful listening to the story and the controls are beyond clunky but i had so much fun and felt nostalgia and also mary :3c i never finished black flag back in the day bc i got stuck in one of the ship missions so bad i never wanted to touch the game again. also i've only played them from brotherhood to unity. i also never finished unity bc it sucked ass so bad and it wasnt fun at all. also brotherhood->unity includes liberations. i miss my beautiful wife aveline. i think i should buy 1 and 2 for ps3 and finally play them too!
#leevi liveblogs#black flag is so up my alley with the pirate stuff and mary read.. did u guys know i had a mary read phase in middle school#it was not caused by assassins creed#but i did pick up black flag bc she was in it#god the gane sucks so bad i wish it didnt have any of thr ship stuff so i could play it#im unwilling to drive a vechile in any adventure game. put that thing back.#which. is funny considering how much i love need for speed and driving mako in mass effect
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who's team r u gonna join for splatfest? moneys been losing so maybe frye has a chance </3
team love i didnt get to join marina's team in 2 so this is like next best thing for me plus love won the last two runs of this fest i want the streak completed 🫶🏾
#like its kind of a sweet sentiment that love has continued to win like *sniffs* love compassion and care for one another <:]#no offense to frye but if i were to pick another team it wouldve been money fame is nothing.#sorry to the 'fame is love and money' crowd but leave me alone the hell. i do not wanna be famous 😭#also. im gonna b annoying. but it isnt inherently true bc there have been broke famous ppl </3 imagine how much that'd suck#oo and fame w no like Real love? ppl who are a famous persons echo chamber or are obsessed w the *idea* of u? no thank you sorry team fame#asks#anon
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🛡⚔️🏰🐎
#long tag rant: open at yr own risk#turns out that a chivalric nature is not a function of vows of celibacy but rather the inverse;#vows of celibacy are a function of a chivalric nature#the noblest thing I could do for my beloved is never tell them or court them or wed them#thus saving them from having my mother for a mother-in-law!! because WOW!!!!!#just had an argument over not my actions but apparently what she thinks my thoughts are#my thoughts??? in my private head??? surely u JEST 🃏#madam I will change my actions if they bother anyone or even my speech. but not my thoughts!!#or what u THINK my thoughts are anyway. incorrectly. jfc#& even if I did...like how am I meant to prove I did. THEY'RE THOUGHTS#'is the problem that I'm not cleaning...enough? well enough? fast enough?' 'no the problem is yr mindset' I- ????¿¿#what pray tell do u think my mindset is#do u actually want me to 'change' it or do u just want someone to yell at bc ur stressed mayhaps#'I'm taking care of everything I'm not expecting u to pick up any slack-' 'I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS'#(despite being at a loss for words‚ she continued to yell at me for the next 10 minutes)#rattling the bars of my dungeon HOUSING CRISIS. CRASH PLEASE. MARKET CRASH WHEN. I NEED TO GET OUT#the median property cost in my state is $1.1 million. it would be easier to slay a dragon#either I move to another country or wait until I'm 60 to start considering relationships. bc I'm not dragging anyone I love into that ☝️#the scene where Darcy tells Lizzie he's into her but her mother is too embarrassing is what I'm anticipating. btw#she is my most relatable Austen heroine 80% for that reason#I anticipate the next 72 hours sucking bc god forbid I ever have anyone over without being yelled at before AND after#this would all be so much easier if I had a sword & a horse. two very visible threats of fight & flight#vignettes de ma vie
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ppl really b acting as if there's only one specific ship that has weird shippers that will complain about ppl not shipping their otp. it's literally always the case you either get fucked over for liking a gay ship or for liking a straight ship or for liking a toxic ship or people just start going "oh there's nothing wrong with the ship but the shippers💀" and you don't fucking know what they're talking about. like can we all just chill. the weird shippers r everywhere it's called some ppl are assholes sometimes. it's not fandom specific
#it's like with the “x ship sent death threats to the author!”#first of all : proof?#second of all: I've heard this for multiple diff ships that is not new that is not exclusive to one fandom or one ship.#sometimes ppl in fandom r too invested and do stupid shit#god#I'm sorry I doomscrolled another Instagram reel comment section#it's just. I'm so tired of ppl talking about mha's fandom as if it's the worst thing of all time?#first of all no its not? fucking chill?#second of all. if the fandom is ruining the show for you then genuienly get off the internet#third. so sorry but half of the time when ppl say the mha fandom is awful they're either calling it cringe (fandom is always cringe get over#it it's ok) they're complaining about everything being gay (so you're a homophobe ok. literally what is wrong with making character queer#ON OUR OWN INTERPRETATIONS OF THE STORY. DUDE.#)#or theyre just.... picking up random shit thats been rumored to have happened or that's just an isolated thing that happens all the time in#every fandom (refer to my earlier points)#genuienly. if the fandom pisses you off that much. get off the internet . block the tags. like for your health.#it's so annoying to try and look at mha stuff or even TALK IRL#WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE MHA#(i am not fucking with you this has happened)#and being told or reading that oh mha is fun but the fandom sucks :///#sorry you don't experience whimsy and are incapable of curating your own experience?#Jesus#(there's also the ppl who r like ugh mha is mid mha sucks in like comments of mha fan but like fuck these guys#you're entitled to your opinion I if you don't like mha that's fine I'm not going to throw eggs at you but like...#why do u feel the need 2 go into a comment section of stuff that is about mha to say that mha sucks actually and the author is bad and the#characters r badly written and blah blah blah. LEAVE ME ALONEEEE)#Anyway maybe one day I will finally leave Instagram but for now I can't bc fukcing. ppl r on there#mumblings//#rant
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every time. every time without fail, that i go on a Dethklok/Brendan's music overall binge as I have been lately. I find myself looking at my guitar like. If only i knew how. if only i could do it right. I could hold her and shred and have fun making music.
alas. my skills are too lacking*
*to clarify, I struggle to read music & learn by ear, but my memory also struggles with remembering chords/finger placements/tabs so even tho i can usually hear how a song should go enough to identify notes & whatnot, and can, with enough time spent noodling, eventually recreate it on guitar. That is not conducive nor useful in actually playing and getting better at it and makes it feel like an Impossible Task lmao.
#text post#tbh it probably is actually impossible bc like#i briefly got a few heavily discounted lessons re: voice guitar and piano w/my old hs choir teacher#and we had some heavy talks abt brains & things and#eventually he was like. u can *technically* play music and sing#ur voice is *unique* like tom waits or bob dylan (read: bad or considered bad by many at least lmao) but u CAN sing#and u can play piano & guitar *in theory* but not with enough understanding to get good at it#his concern kept coming back to my maths learning disability bc he thought that was also fucking up how my brain parses certain music things#and tbh? he's probably right lol#but still. i look to her my shining axe with strings in need of tuning but eager#and then i look away bc it's a nice dream. but im probably never going to be able to achieve any level of skill let alone mastery#I've tried so many times and my brain just can't keep all that info in & parse it all consistently. & it sucks but also it's ok#someday I'll pick her up again and attempt to play and let myself suck at it & b content with that#not today lmao but someday
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peep peep 🐁..
#chattin#waitin to be picked up from my aunts house#dogsitting while she was on a trip w my mom and sister#so im going to sit here and chat about some stuff#SFW this time im going to behave !#thinking of ph#i like writing him as a fucked up lil guy….#got obsessed; mistook possessive behavior for love oopsie !#i think he would be REALLY hurt postgame#he was doing a GOOD job! he was trying to help peppino get rid of his shoddy shop!!!#bc owning a business is sooooo taxing and why do that when u can just work for someone and get paid good money !#and no one has ever like. so blatantly and ANGRILY said NO to him before :( he is experiencing failure AND rejection for the first time#sucks ass#but i want him to be happy so like. eventually he has to deal w that failure#and he sees peppino like. still running a shop. but hes not angry like when they first met hes like#vibin!#hes in the back making food and occassionally he takes front and deals w customers and theyre weird but bearable#people TRAVEL to this little shop at the edge of the forest!#and he doesnt get it its like the food comes out slow and the tvs arent loud enough to hear anything and the prices are higher-#-than ANY fast food joint and yet people still come by…he has REGULARS…how…#hes so inefficient…and yet….#peppino is really angry and dismissive of ph at first; he does NOT want to see his ugly mug and hes tempted to chase him out#but gus is levelheaded (like always peppino notes) and hes like its not worth it ; hes harmless#and over time that anger simmers out into being JUST dismissive and grumpy#but he tolerates him and eventually tolerates his questions#and peppino is like. u know thats why i was so damn pissed at u. thinking there was nothing this owning shit#this shit takes time so i price it that way. u gotta talk to customers like People not Money Giving Machines#like yeah peppino doesnt have the BEST temperment but he most people are just there for Pizza#and some of them are friendly! its tiring but he likes making food and dealing w people#he will not say it but he puts love into this business; this shop is his baby! and ph didnt really get that
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so now im sure she is the one who has been sending me anon hate about me being ugly.... 💀
#she said things like oh i would never send anon hate to anyone!!!#but ig ppl just say anything and then do it anyway 💀#ppl will just lie and pretend to be your friend to then use your insecurities against u#if she acted like a grown up and talked to me i wouldve listened#but that wouldve required her to listen to me tooand not just judge me#and ig she couldnt do that#so she took the easy route#like if i explained to her that yeah i felt abandoned by u bc u just stopped talking to me as soon as u got a bf#and then i kept talking to that guy bc of these reasons where i wanted to see if i could pick up on signs#bc being abused by my bf is one of my biggest fears i have#and she wouldve said iget that but i still feel uncomfortable. then i couldve listened to hger and decided if i wanted to keep making her#uncomfortable and hurt her or just stop. but she didnt say anything or try to communicate or listen#and now to see what a fucking shallow narrow minded view she has#is frustrating bc she hadnt even tried to talk or understand or communicate or explain her side#which is like ok that sucks but whatever i will just let it go#but then she keeps sending me hate abt what i confided to her abt and talk shit abt me and it is like#can u just let it go#just stop everything. lets just pretend we have never known eo or talked at all#anyway ig i dont wanna be friend w a woman who invalidates founded fears#like shes just the kind of woman who would tell her friends that#oh yeah your bf hit u just bc he loves u stop complaining!!#so ig this is good either way but like. ig she just assumes i was flirting behind her back#bc she cant comprehend a woman only being friendly with a guy#and like i didnt keep telling that guy im already in love w someone lmao 💀💀#gosh...disappointing. people are so disappointing#and childish and shallow and narrow minded. yikes
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