#tysm cedar!!!

[thehallstara]

for the lore ask meme: your mike townsend please ?

oughhhhh mike my beloved mike there's a bunch of stuff from my fic i wasn't able to elaborate on lets go

-mentioned that she was ashkenazi/mizrahi– more specifically i think his dad is like. a third gen immigrant from (now) ukraine (would have probably been pale of settlement at the time) and her mom is an iranian jew, probably 2nd gen!!! they met in ny and ended up moving to seattle for work -has rheumatoid arthritis and has since she was a kid! -aroace. v firm on this one lol -is a mediocre bass player but tries his best -is constantly trying new sourdough recipes. has not found the right one yet -was raised what i'd call like. casually religious?? lots of religious observances in the house but not super strict on it as far as like. don't think they were shomer shabbos but did keep shabbat that kinda vibes lol def got disconnected as she got older but got more observant as blaseball went on i think?? -does wrap tefillin now though that's also v important to me -this isn't a fact i just remembered i made this picrew of him like 3 months ago so i had a visual this is a v basic version of my mike ty for coming to my tled talk

[terracottakore]

new hair, who this? (falsie, of course!)

[peterswonderland]

Introduction

By now, we all have our opinions of The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. It has received mixed reviews from critics to fans alike.

In the Gaylor community, many have dubbed it her “straightest album,” which I am inclined to agree with. BUT.

If you do not like Gaylor or Swiftgron content, feel free to block and/or keep scrolling!

I’ve seen and read theories for years. In this post I will be referencing the Swiftgron Masterpost. I’m also an avid listener of the What I Will Say podcast. (No one affiliated with the podcast is involved with this post, and for all I know might disagree with it entirely. However, I will be referencing the masterpost at points, and it is only fair to give credit where credit is due.)

This is celebrity gossip, and everything is alleged. I do not know Taylor or Dianna. This is alleged (don't sue me, tysm!)

Peter is…Dianna?

Halfway through my first listen of “Peter,” I was fully convinced this song was about Dianna. That Peter was Dianna.

First, I will go through the lyrics that most pointedly seem Dianna-coded to me.

Forgive me, Peter My lost fearless leader In closets like cedar Preserved from when we were just kids Is it somethin' I did?

Taylor references closets in “seven” on folklore:

And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted Your dad is always mad and that must be why And I think you should come live with Me and we can be pirates Then you won't have to cry Or hide in the closet

Cedar closets are used as a "safe haven" to put valuable items in. The closet has preserved everything from when Taylor and the muse were "just kids" (likely meaning their early twenties.) Shoutout to Kristin in the WIWS Discord for mentioning this!

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Another interpretation I found on Genius mentioned that the closet line in “Peter” could also be a reference to another fantasy story, The Chronicles of Narnia, wherein stepping into a closet revealed a new fantasy world. This fantasy narrative ties in with “Peter”/Peter Pan and “Wonderland”/Alice in Wonderland, which we’ll get to in a second.

The line “And I think you should come live with/Me and we can be pirates” can also be connected to Peter Pan. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys often have to fight off Captain Hook and his pirates. There are also theories that pirates/Captain Hook are old Lost Boys. TL/DR: Old lost boys are either killed by Peter Pan or can choose to become Lost Boys…at least by these fans’ interpretations. A weak link I know, but still an interesting one. 

“We can be pirates” because you’ve been forced to grow up too quickly…? Hm.

Further connecting “seven” to “Peter” is the idea of being just kids, although in “seven” it seems to be more literal, while in “Peter” she might be referring to when she and Dianna actually met: Taylor was ~20 years old, and Dianna was ~24. 

From “Peter”:

Are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer? I've heard great things, Peter But life was always easier on you Than it was on me

Dianna is stunning, and has often been referred to as a scene stealer.

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“When we cast Dianna as Quinn, she ruined the part for me,” Murphy says. “She was supposed to be the Cybill Shepherd, Last Picture Show cunt, so to speak, but she humanized it. She can cry at the drop of a hat. So now her character has a conscience, a soul and great vulnerability.” Ryan Murphy, Rolling Stone. Credit

Credit (Shoutout to ellie from the WIWS Discord server for bringing the TCA nominations for "Female Scene Stealer" to my attention!)

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More from “Peter”:

And I won't confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn As the men masqueraded, I hoped you'd return

I viewed this through a queer lens upon first listen; the definition of masqueraded (verb) is “to go about disguised/to assume the appearance of something one is not.”

When Taylor sings “as the men masqueraded, I hope you’d return,” the you is implied to not be a man. 

We’ll circle back to lamps burning/lights in Part 2.

And you said you'd come and get me, but you were twenty-five And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired Lost to the "Lost Boys" chapter of your life

Dianna was twenty-five when she and Taylor allegedly began dating.

Dianna, through multiple interviews and her old tumblr blog (that often mentioned children’s fantasies and stories), seems to cherish her inner child and not be in any rush to “grow up.”

From an interview for Galore Magazine in 2014:

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There are also Dianna’s frequent posts on Tumblr about fairytales and children’s stories - this could lend itself to the idea she was living a “Lost Boy’s life.” More on that later.

But the woman who sits by the window Has turned out the light

Again, there is a reference to light, which is a theme (amongst many) we will visit in Part 2 of this analysis.

These lyrics draw natural parallels to Disney’s animated Peter Pan film, wherein Peter Pan visits the Darling children through their window. Wendy is seen sitting by the window, yearning for something more.

In another TTPD track about windows, “I Look in People’s Windows,” there are obvious parallels to “Peter.” These parallels are so strong that I believe these songs are almost certainly about the same person.

Credit | Credit

In “cardigan” from folklore, Taylor seems to categorize herself as Wendy and an unknown muse as Peter.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

More “cardigan” parallels will be drawn in Part 2. Part 1 is focusing on “Peter” itself as well as its tie ins to another TTPD song, “I Look in People’s Windows.”

I Peter Looks in People’s Windows

Connecting “Peter” and “I Look in People’s Windows” is almost too easy, yet I didn’t catch it on my first few listens. Let’s break it down.

The images referenced above show that windows are a central plot point to Peter Pan. Waiting by the window symbolizes yearning for something more, something magical. Wendy is waiting for something more: for Peter’s return. We can draw parallels between Wendy’s window and the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland: a portal to something whimsical and dangerous.

If you’re new here, “Wonderland” from 1989 is known to many as one of Taylor’s most blatant songs about a woman: Dianna Agron. I encourage you to read this portion of the Swiftgron masterpost if you’re new or need a refresher!

Sit and Wait, Sit and Wait

The first theme we’ll discuss is longing/yearning. Both in “Peter” and “I Look in People’s Windows,” Taylor conveys a strong sense of yearning for a person with whom a relationship has permanently died, despite her hopes.

From “Peter”:

The goddess of timing Once found us beguiling She said she was trying Peter, was she lying? My ribs get the feelin' she did And I didn't want to come down I thought it was just goodbye for now

/

Said you were gonna grow up Then you were gonna come find me Words from the mouths of babes Promises oceans deep But never to keep

/

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried To hold onto the days when you were mine (Hold onto the days) But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

The woman (Taylor) who sat by the window has given up hope (turned out the light.)

Also, fun fact about "my ribs get the feeling she did": Dianna Agron removed a Wonderland tattoo after the song "Wonderland" was released. Guess where the tattoo was?

On. Her. RIBS.

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"We're all mad here."

Also, "What will we become? We become ourselves," is a quote from poet Patti Smith. Yes, the same Patti Smith referenced in the title track for The Tortured Poets Department. (Thanks to thea from the WIWS discord for pointing out the Patti Smith connection to me!)

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(Shoutout to reddit user aztraps for pointing out the rib lyric to me!)

The themes of yearning continue on “I Look in People’s Windows” during essentially the entire song, but here are some highlights:

A feather taken by the wind blowing I'm afflicted by the not knowing so

I'd be remiss not to mention that Peter Pan, throughout many adaptations, is known for his feather in his cap. 

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The Paradise of Peter Pan by Edward Mason Eggleston, 1934

You might notice in this painting that Peter looks like...well, a woman (stereotypically and historically!) The character of Peter Pan is normally played by a woman on stage and is often depicted with female features. This makes Dianna being Peter even more...suspicious.

More from “I Look in People’s Windows”:

I look in people's windows In case you're at their table What if your eyes looked up and met mine One more time

This is a love that is ended, yet Taylor can’t help but wonder what might happen if flames rekindled. 

I know what you’re thinking – Taylor Swift isn’t walking around random neighborhoods peering into neighbor’s windows. You’d be right (hopefully.) This song is a metaphor, in my view, for “insta-stalking” or social media “stalking” an ex, constantly checking up on them to see what they’re up to, who they’re with. She checks mutual friends’ pages, looking to see if she sees her love (Dianna) “at their table” (with them.)

The real question is - why use windows as the metaphor for internet stalking your ex? Perhaps to tie it into another song about that same ex?

More "ILIPW" lyrics:

I tried searching faces on streets What are the chances you'd be Downtown, downtown, downtown Does it feel alright to not know me? I'm addicted to the "if only"

Taylor is YEARNING for this person. She also seems to be unable to believe this person has been able to seemingly move on without her (just like Peter has.)

In “Peter,” Taylor’s relationship didn’t turn out as she hoped. She hoped this person would come back, and they didn’t. (“Come Back…Be Here” anyone??? PART TWO)

“I Look in People’s Windows” highlights the fact that Taylor has not completely moved on. As she goes about her daily life, she still “peers in people’s windows” (checks instagram/twitter/etc.) for this person. IT’S THE SAME MUSE!!! (Allegedly.)

In addition, the line: “I'm addicted to the "if only"” is especially interesting given Dianna’s interesting response to rumors of dating Taylor in a May 2023 (!!!) Rolling Stone article:

The theme of waiting is also important to discuss. In “Peter,” Taylor is waiting for someone who said they would grow up and find her; she’s sitting by the window waiting for them. In “ILIPW,” Taylor is looking through windows waiting for this person’s eyes to meet “mine one more time.” Both songs have this sense of sit and wait, sit and wait, sit and wait.

Taylor looking into people's windows and obsessing over gatherings where the muse might be in attendance reflects a sense of longing and yearning, reminiscent of Wendy's yearning in Peter Pan to reconnect with Peter despite being unable to bridge the gap between their realities:

Lyrics from “Peter”:

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon In different galaxies

Eternal Youth

More from “I Look in People’s Windows”:

I look in people's windows Transfixed by rose golden glows

To view something in rose colored glasses is to see something in “favorably disposed opinions : optimistic eyes.” 

One could compare this to the rose colored glasses Wendy takes on when visiting Neverland, or when Alice visits Wonderland. (Again, we will be reviewing Wonderland’s connection amongst many other songs in connection to “Peter”/“ILIPW” in Part 2.) Both of these fairytales cater to the inner child and youth.

The theme of eternal youth in “Peter”, based on the fairytale of Peter Pan, is self explanatory, and I don’t feel the need to go into detail in this already MASSIVE post.

For this example, we’re going with the theory that “Peter” and “ILIPW” are inspired by the same muse/relationship. “ ILIPW’s” theme of yearning can be interpreted through the lens of Wendy's relationship with Peter—a story that encapsulates the longing for eternal youth (which Taylor writes about in “22” on Red, a song that is DEDICATED TO DIANNA, the pain of growing up, and the poignant realization that some connections are meant to remain in the realm of dreams and memories.

Rediscover Your Sense of Wonder

Peter appears unexpectedly and at random to seemingly bring a sense of magic and wonder to those around him, including Wendy and her siblings. Peter visiting the Darling children through their window symbolizes the allure of escapism, especially for someone like Taylor who cannot lead a normal life, and the desire to remain forever young.

“ILIPW,” if you allow the interpretation that it is intrinsically connected to “Peter,” indicates a longing to recapture, if anything, the innocence and adventure embodied by Peter/the muse. Taylor’s fixation on windows is a search for moments of enchantment and wonder that the Peter muse gave her.

If we follow this line of thinking and allow Dianna to be the muse of “Peter” and “I Look in People’s Windows,” it’s very interesting that the song canonically dedicated to Dianna centers around the very idea of youth and wonder: “22” from Red, as seen in the Rolling Stone piece mentioned above.

From “22”:

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time It's miserable and magical / It seems like one of those nights We ditch the whole scene and end up dreaming Instead of sleeping / Everything will be alright If we just keep dancing like we're 22

Tumblr / felldowntherabbithole

Dianna once had a tumblr with the url felldowntherabbithole. While I searched what archives I could find, it was quite overwhelming, and I didn’t get through many of her posts throughout the years she was active. However, I will mention posts I did find that showcased her interest in fairytales, and why Taylor might choose one (or two…“Wonderland,” anyone?) as inspiration for songs she has written about Dianna.

FIRST: This old post was found by Cam from whatiwillsay. She is not affiliated with this post and did not endorse it. However, I was unable to find this screenshot myself on the Wayback Machine, so I want to give her credit for finding this post on Dianna’s blog:

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Now, onto some screenshots I found myself of Dianna’s love of fairytales, all courtesy of the Wayback Machine:

References from bottom to top: Goodnight Moon, Dr. Suess, Alice in Wonderland, Little Red Riding Hood, Underland (a retelling of Alice in Wonderland)

Part Two

PART TWO is here!

If you have any comments, suggestions, or questions, I’m more than ready to hear your thoughts!

Part Two will cover "Peter" and "ILIPW's" connections to other songs associated with Dianna.

Part 3 will cover anything I missed that I didn't feel I could edit into Part 1 or 2, as well as some more reach-y theories that I still feel deserve an honorable mention!

This post will be edited for grammatical and factual errors as necessary, as well as adding more evidence I feel needs to be included in this post.

[hey-color-palettes]

Hello!! May i request a palette based on the name Cedar? For my partner!! ^-^ tysm!!

#f2c9a2 || #d38c68 || #9f5a4b || #48394a || #201e1d

[korcariiwitch]

oc(s) meme. ✨

Tagged by: @laezels! Tysm for the tag! <3

(So uhhhh I decided to fill this out for both my OCs, since I haven't really posted much for Skora and needed to flesh both of them out more, so umm don't mind me 🖤)

name: velwyn melarn name: skora aldisian

nickname(s): vel, v, wynnie (hates the last one though) nickname(s): kora, sko, allie

pronouns: she/her pronouns: she/her

star sign: scorpio star sign: virgo

height: 5' 4" / 162.5cm height: 5' 9" / 175.2cm

orientation: pansexual orientation: pansexual

race: drow (bhaalspawn) race: half-elf (sun elf/human)

romancing: astarion romancing: shadowheart (might be karlach depending on how her playthrough goes 👀)

fave fruit: cherries. fave fruit: dates.

fave season: less so a favorite season and more so she likes whenever there's a storm going on. something about the feeling of the rain/snow on her skin feels invigorating and the catharsis of everything being washed away. fave season: winter, preferably indoors and cooped up next to a hearth.

fave flower: orchids (ones that grow in the dark especially). fave flower: irises and hyacinths.

fave scent: iron, mint, and eucalyptus. fave scent: sea salt and cedar wood.

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee to compensate for the lack of rest most days. prefers it black with a minimal amount of sugar. coffee, tea or hot chocolate: many various types of teas. she's a bit of a snob about it actually (affectionate).

average sleep hours: it would be the standard 4 hours of trance, if not interrupted nightmares or the debilitating migraines brought on by suppressing her bloodthirsty urges. average sleep hours: skora is adept at quieting her mind and can reliably/consistently get six hours of sleep even under the most dire of circumstances.

dogs or cats: quasits, owlbears, intellect devourers. pre-events of the game it wasn't sustainable for durge to have pets, and she finds herself drawn to the more unconventional ones. dogs or cats: skora has a fondness for dogs, having grown up with many hunting dogs in her youth.

dream trip: pre-tadpole there was no point in dreaming of travel for pleasure, outside of her father's vision of a world covered in corpses. post the events of the game i think she'd just like to see more of the world beyond what the underdark/bhaal's temple has to offer her. dream trip: i think she'd like to return home to the isle she is from, she hasn't been there since childhood due to ~certain events~ and i think having a partner/friends in tow might help make that journey palatable.

amount of blankets: it doesn't matter how many you put on her because there's a 98.7% chance she's going to end up kicking them off at some point. secretly, velwyn prefers the compression of her partner acting as weighted blanket. amount of blankets: one, no more than two. barely moves in her sleep and wakes up in the morning with the blankets exactly where she left them the night before.

random fact(s): velwyn ❤️

velwyn is quite the sketch artist, and she keeps a journal (almost like a book of shadows) in the game chronicling her journey. some of the sketches can be a bit disturbing, though, especially if she's a fondness for the subject. (e.g. a rather gruesome sketch of astarion because she didn't know what to do with her feelings towards him)

fluent in common, undercommon, elvish, deep speech and knows some abyssal and infernal as study for a certain heist.

likes to collect weird shit for study and experimentation later. has led to some 'accidents' around camp during the squad's downtime.

knows how to stitch wounds together exceptionally well, will stubbornly insist upon patching herself up half the time until she becomes more comfortable with the concept of other people taking care of her.

enjoys being challenged and called out on her own shit by others, even if she'd never admit that.

random fact(s): skora 💙

fluent in common, gnomish, celestial, primordial, elvish, draconic and also knows common sign language.

knows how to sail from her family's business, but actually gets incredibly sea sick.

while in school, she double majored in abjuration and divination with minors in illusion and necromancy magics.

has an astigmatism but refuses to 'correct it' with magic, so she'll pull out glasses while reading.

she has a natural calming presence and a quiet confidence, she doesn't feel the need to gloat but will put someone in their place if pushed.

No pressure/obligation tagging: @anderwelt, @malewife-mansplain-magus, @topaz-carbuncle, @phasebun, @starryjuicebox, @elminsters, @vspin, @tavsboots @asharaks, @bhaalbaaby and anyone else who sees/wants to do this!

[ohmylcve]

maisie was always a good listener and people that got close to her would always point such a thing. with cedar though... it was different: it wasn't about being a listener and trying to understand the points of what he was saying. it had to do with what she felt while listening to him. whenever he shared something deep within his life story, she would feel pleased and flattered for being the one he chose to share these stories with. maisie never truly understood why the pain was so big when it came to a band breaking up, but now she got it: it had to do not only with the band, but with the connections he had lost. that made her think of how many other connections he had lost so far, to hold so much pain inside. so she listened. she looked at him, allowing her eyes to express how fond she was of him and of how brave he was to admit that he wasn't completely over it all. maisie could recall so many moments she felt safe with friendships that once were her anchor but now were nothing but strangers, so she truly shared this pain with him. by wanting to hug him but not quite sure if she should, the digits carefully went to his arms, slowly making an invisible random drawing. a laugh was heard leaving maisie's mouth by the moment he said he didn't want to be far less appealing to her. "i like it when you talk. you would be less appealing if you didn't." she played, with a soft smile. "how does talking about that makes you feel?" fun thing was the fact that although she really enjoyed listening to other people's feelings about certain situations, she wasn't so fond of talking about her own.

cedar sometimes felt as though nobody cared to hear his story anymore, except perhaps for an indie music magazine hunting for a catchy headline about his disbanded group. that's why, just this once, he decided to voice something he usually kept buried within himself. it was something one of his old bandmates had repeatedly pointed out to him, each time the drummer denying it vehemently. "i don't think i'm completely over it," he admitted, his thoughts drifting back to the past. "maybe it's because we were all childhood friends. or perhaps it's just the nostalgia for the good old days, eagerly anticipating the start of the next tour." as his gaze softened, he noticed her attentive demeanor. his next words mingled with a chuckles of his. "why are you even letting me ramble on about my band's breakup?" he wondered aloud. "i'm almost certain it's making me far less appealing in your eyes, isn't it? it's not something i want." he quickly added. "being far less appealing in your eyes, i mean."

[thehallstara]

🛒⛔🤩?

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Water, drowning, fraught sibling relationships, uhhhh tenderness??

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

so so many lol uhhh there was a ruthless expansion era longfic i'll never do, a gita and roscoe s12 fic, a nerdfamous manifesto... the 20020 college football au has not been scrapped but i'm not working on it either dsdkjfhks

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

generally whoever i'm writing a lot atm LMAO rn it's ruthless but edric and nerd are frequently up there– bright is difficult, i either love writing her or it's like pulling teeth to do lol

[honeyhotteoks]

hey chai!! tysm for the 4 updates I loved it so much,, I hope everything is going well for you because I'm sure your writing is helping a lot of us <33 anyways I'm curious about your thoughts about everyone scents including woosanhwa I don't know if you've stated it and I just missed it but yea I hope you have a great day as always and remember to drink water!! <33

oh thank you so much!!! all of their scents are subtly included, but some are more obvious than others for sure. here's a little break down of all our main characters and their scent notes, but as a note.... scents change a bit depending on who's breathing it in and scents change with emotions or biological shifts. i include some thoughts about that below too! --

reader: chamomile tea, willow sap, & honey; when reader is in heat or aroused, the honey scent is much stronger, and when she's feeling really upbeat, joyful, there's hints of clean lemon zest. the willow is subtle, but a little sharp in it's medicinal almost wintergreen scent, it's one of those smells that you either love or you hate, but mingi and yunho both love.* when she's afraid, her scent turns bitter like over-steeped tea. if reader were to be pregnant, her scent would turn a little milkier, like tea with sweet cream and honey. yunho: rain / wet earth, cedar, & clarysage; when yunho is trying to comfort reader or draw her in with his scent, it's much more of a true petrichor / wet earth scent. when he's aroused or in a rut the cedar is stronger and more masculine, but underneath both of those tones is a bit of a sweeter/herbal tone with the sage. to reader, his scent really pulls like a comforting childhood memory that makes her feel safe and secure. mingi: dark chocolate, cinnamon & pink peppercorn; when mingi is angry, aroused, or in a heightened emotional state the cinnamon really shines for him, but when he's in a calmer or comforting state it's more chocolate and cocoa. the pink peppercorn is something that is only really caught when you're close, something undefinable that enhances the sweetness and the spice, but is undeniably mingi. seonghwa: freshly brewed coffee, jasmine, & pear; seonghwa to me lives in a beautiful space between masculine and feminine energy and his alpha scent is reflective of that. warm and strong coffee is ever present, but jasmine really comes forwards with those he's comfortable with or aroused by. pear is sweeter and more decadent and comes to the front when he's with san especially. san: jasmine, sandalwood, & oakmoss; san and seonghwa's scents are intentionally complimentary, but san's scent undertones are more masculine and 'alpha' like compared to his jasmine top note. he's floral and fresh, bright and energizing, but a scent that deepens in masculine complexity the closer you are to him. when he's comfortable and relaxed, the warmth and natural notes of oakmoss are more present. wooyoung: linen, salt, & green apple; wooyoung's scent is fresh and bright, evoking something clean and summery. when he's in heat, the apple scent turns a bit caramelized and sweet, but normally his scent is more even and calming with the linen and salt being forward in tone. to reader, his scent also calls to mind a memory more than distinct scents, and she and others often associate his unique blend with the last days of summer sun in august.

*note on reader's scent: admittedly, my inspiration for reader's scent was directly taken from one of my favorite books, a discovery of witches by deborah harkness. the full quote is below because i think it's so lovely and this line often gets stuck in my head:

"You smell of willow sap. And chamomile that has been crushed underfoot. There's honeysuckle and fallen oak leaves, too, along with witch hazel blooming and the first narcissus of spring. And ancient things - horehound, frankincense, lady's mantle. Scents I thought I'd forgotten."

[s-aint-elmo]

I love your EAH art sooo much, it's just so eye-appealing and cute 😭 I adore your Cupid headcanon(s)!! I wish they'd utilized the fact that she came from MH instead of just. forgetting

aaa tysm!!! 💖💖💖 i'm a monster high girlie to the core and i wish so bad that that aspect of cupid's origins was like. acknowledged. at all. i need to know how cupid handled the shift from the sickest most liberating place in existence to some narc ass dystopia that goes against everything she believes in. no freak flags are being flown no ghoul kids are ruling this is not freaky nor is it chic or fly and it most certainly is NOT fabulous. cupid had such an important perspective to offer the rebel/royal conflict and they just. made her a lovelorn extra over Literally Some Dude (sorry dexter you're nothing to me). everyday i lament the fact that they never once pointed cedar's revealer rays at cupid and gotten the shock of their lives.

[kheprriverse]

You have to stop making such amazing art. Tumblr is so restricting I can’t possibly reblog it enough /lh But alas. Words also have meaning, right?

Be warned: I may not make any sense because I’m tired <3

Your art is literally so. Inspiring though. Your style is so beautiful and pretty and it’s just somehow— It makes me want to create? Honestly. I’d love to have a style like yours, but also I’m happy with mine! So instead, the inly valid thing to do is EAT YOUR ART AND REBLOG SO MANY TIMES!!! I’m keeping my own style, and building off it: While you and other artists do the same with what you do!

That being said. Your art just makes my day sometimes. Seeing you post gives me such joy and anytime I see the stupid silly (Cedar /Affec) it’s an instant giggling and kicking my feet like a feral child. So much stimming happens, and I literally love every design and thing you come up with. It’s just. Woah <3

My want to eat art is always at a 10/10: Let me consume the heckin heckles out of everything. Like. shredding the entire walls up. Such zoomies from art. Everything about your art most times just feels. Soft and cozy. Makes it feel like home sometimes and probably tastes like. Fluff. (That’s not a taste but whatever. It counts in my brain?) Maybe even like some sweet candy or dish, idek. Tastes aren’t tasting but damn art does arting?

Not only are you a cool and amazing talented artist, you’re also such a cool person beyond that and just so sweet I would just like to hug, yknow? Strangely I feel like I should be like. Somewhat intimidated because COOL PERSON ARTIST WOAH YOU INTERACT WITH ME??!? But also, I’m not… Really that intimidated? I don’t know, feel welcoming, just like the feeling yoir art brings and its just. Comforting?

You and your silly goody personality is so amazing and you’re so talented, I’m gonna flee now back into the ground: Hopefully this made somewhat sense— And that you have a lovely week/day/month— Just time in general!

*descends away*

~ Z

No I won't stop! Only pretty designs and silly guys ✨! (I am also very tired so its all okay. Also apologies if you wanted this answered privately.)

Also I'm gonna cry abkvjadbvjkkdvbad /pos This means so much! I'm very bad with explaining how I feel but I'm gonna try my bets lmao. It makes me so happy to hear that people really like my stuff, AND think I'm a cool person! I want my space to be kinda chill, friendly, etc and I'm very glad that so far I've been doing a pretty good job :'D

tysm again! I'm very glad u like my stuff (and think I'm cool). I woke up a few hours ago with a headache, dizziness, and was just generally feeling kinda bad and couldn't go back to sleep. But seeing this ask has so far made my day 100 times better! I hope the space I provide continues to bring joy (or just general silliness) to you and others <3

(also I'm glad you like my art too. Ive been having weird issues looking @ my own art since December, which I've never had before, so it makes me become a little silly whenever I get a comment on it. Really improves my motivation and lot and helps me continue what I love most: drawing funny guys and beasties :>)

[mothknight42]

hello can i PLEASE have a perspective flip for the end scene of sunday best in the car i require it for sustenance tysm kiss kiss kiss

I went a lil wild with it tbh. Oops! I love clueless Barbara, what can I say. Thank you so, so much for the prompt. Hope you enjoy ^_^

Melissa doesn’t look behind her as she rushes off, and Barbara can only give the unsettled teenagers a small smile before following her best friend across the parking lot. 

It is rare for her to follow behind Melissa. Which, she supposes, has its own sort of humor - Melissa was the hot-headed one between them, acting first and thinking later - and yet, when it came to Barbara, she was always a half step behind, channeling her boundless energy into a buzzing patience reserved exclusively for the kindergarten teacher’s benefit.

During Melissa’s first few weeks at Abbott, she had followed Barbara around relentlessly. She was young and charming and cared little for boundaries, the exact opposite of Barbara herself, only five years older but with self control others might call godly, in a manner half mocking half awe. Barbara couldn’t stand her. Melissa managed to always be behind her, with a thoughtful compliment or sly and clever witticism or some delicious baked treat, and always came off as casual, like she had just happened upon Barbara for the fourth time in the halls that day. Abbott wasn’t a particularly large school, but still. The likelihood? Utterly improbable. 

Every night she had gone home and complained to Gerald about this insufferable woman, who wore shirts cut a bit too low, pants a bit too tight, and smelled like cedar and lavender, and whose hair formed a blazing halo, impossible to ignore, this insufferable woman who had managed to gain the attention and adoration of her class overnight, who might even be a better teacher than Barbara herself, despite the lack of experience and overall respect for any sort of decorum. 

Melissa Schemmenti, who for some reason seemed obsessed with her, despite Barbara’s lackluster responses and polite deflections, and despite not really needing any of the guidance that Barbara was known for. No one bothered her unless they needed something, but what Melissa could possibly need from her was mystery.

Gerald, ever patient and sweet, had suggested sagely that perhaps the younger woman was just looking for a friend. New environment, and all that. 

“Why me?” Barbara had groused. 

“Why not you?” Gerald had replied serenely, hand over hers. “Give her a chance.”

And so Barbara had. 

But now, following behind Melissa, Barbara feels something sticky and sour lodge itself in her throat, because Melissa was upset in a way she’d never seen. 

Terrified, her mind supplies. Melissa had looked terrified, talking to those girls, and seeing such an emotion on her best friend’s face had shaken her to her core. Melissa Ann Schemmenti didn’t get scared. No, no, certainly not.

Or maybe, always half a step behind her, Barbara had never looked over her shoulder long enough to notice.

She unlocks the car as Melissa reaches her hand to pull the handle, perfect timing, and watches her slip into the passenger seat like she has for the past few months they’ve been coming to church together, red hair flicked over her shoulder, bright and beautiful against the dreary rain soaked landscape.

She slides in the driver’s side, buckling her seatbelt on autopilot, hands finding the wheel. 

Why was Melissa scared?

“I’m sorry.”

Barbara’s brow furrows, head snapping to Melissa. Her voice is small, like it had been after her divorce, like she was waiting for someone to raise their voice or hand to her. Barbara feels her heart crack in her chest. She doesn’t understand. She hates not understanding.

“Why?”

And then Melissa is rambling, about her niece, about her youth, and normally she’d intervene, redirect her (though she’d never admit it, the little displays between Zach and Jacob had felt eerily familiar) but there is something else there, something Melissa is saying but isn’t, skirting around the issue. Barbara feels utterly lost. Until she doesn’t.

“Yeah well, queers gotta stick together.”

Oh.

“I didn’t know you were a member of the LGBTQ+ community, Melissa.”

The words are stiff, uncomfortable in her mouth. 

Because they’re a lie, her mind whispers. You’re lying! 

“You don’t gotta be so formal about it, jeez.”

Melissa is queer. Of course. Of course. Barbara knew this, or suspected, at least - Melissa had never talked about it, but Barbara was observant, had noticed how her eyes lingered on the new art teacher in the early aughts, a woman with a streak of grey in the hair above her brow and a crooked smile, noticed the way women at PECSA would gravitate toward her the second Barbara would step away for another drink and the way Melissa would lean in, eyes flashing, tongue tracing the seam of her lips, like she was hungry - Barbara can’t say she didn’t know, because she did, she absolutely did, she just hadn’t thought about it, which is a different thing entirely.

Why hadn’t she thought about it?

“There are things you haven’t gotten a chance to experience yet, Babs. Things you can’t experience with me. I owe you that chance.” 

Gerald’s words, gentle as he slid the divorce papers across the table. 

“Gerald, what-”

“Talk to Melissa about it. She will understand.”

Barbara hadn't talked to Melissa about it, too ashamed, too confused. 

Melissa had smiled like she’d won the lottery when Barbara had greeted her today for church. But, then, Melissa always smiled at her like that, didn’t she? Like Barbara was the sun itself, something good and warm and perfect. 

Your work wife, Gerald used to tease her. You like her more than me, Babs.

Melissa, who was everything Barbara couldn’t allow herself to be, brash and loud and obnoxiously funny and aggressive and sweet and sexy-

She licks her lips, mouth dry. 

Oh. 

Oh.

And then it bubbles up from within her, uncontrollable, and she laughs and laughs and laughs, head pressed to the steering wheel. She’s an utter fool. Oh, Lord forgive her. 

“Barb-”

“I’m sorry,” she giggles, wiping away the tears of mirth in her eyes, “I’m not mocking you, sweetheart, I just realized - well.”

She has loved Melissa for a great many years. 

She knew for sure she loved Melissa back during their third year teaching together, when that huge snowstorm had knocked out half the power in Philly, including her own. Gerald, working nights, hadn’t been home to help, and Gina and Taylor, only 4 and 7, had been overtired and inconsolable. 

She doesn’t remember why she thought to call Melissa, but she had, and the woman had driven through the hellish storm with a portable heater in the back of her rusted old pickup and enough candles to give the Vatican a run for their money without question. She had even stopped and managed to score hot chocolate for Gina and Taylor from some late night gas station, probably the only one still open considering the weather, and then built the greatest pillow fort ever to be seen in the Howard’s living room. 

Barbara had fallen asleep in it with her girls cuddled close to her sides, under Melissa’s protective eye, and had awoken just the same. Had to make sure the heater didn’t bust, she had offered, eyes drooping with sleep, hair messily piled atop her head. There was an extra blanket draped over Barbara that hadn’t been there when she’d fallen asleep. She had stared and stared and stared at this wonder of a woman until the power had clicked back on, the cacophony of every electronic in the house springing to life waking Gina and Taylor, who immediately dragged a poor exhausted Melissa to the kitchen to make the breakfast. She’d made pancakes with smiley faces, and winked when she’d placed one in front of Barbara too.

She has also been in love with Melissa for a great many years, apparently. 

When she turns to look at Melissa, at the woman she loves - and good lord, how had she not realized sooner - she wants so badly to cradle her face in her palms, to smooth gentle thumbs across her soft cheeks, to trace the elegant bridge of her nose, to kiss away the crease in her forehead, to kiss her, properly, the way she had dreamed about once and written off as temporary insanity. 

For now, she settles with giving her a smile, all teeth and warmth and adoration.

“Thank you, for telling me.”

“It’s no biggie,” Melissa chokes out.

Barbara’s hand finds her knee, squeezes.

“It is to me, dear.”

FIN

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

cedar you are so brave for making this blog. i would never be able to handle this. how many asks do you get a day when your open would you guess? one of these days youll have to close your asks when the non evil blog is also closed and someone will have to make an evil-evil-mcytblrconfessions blog

o7 my secret is that i have mcytblrconfessions notifs on and @kuiperchaos dms me every single time they notice that my asks are in the wrong state (tysm for that btw9

as for how many asks... no more than 15 per day honestly. rates are LOWWWW compared to mcytblrconfessions. its rly manageable actually

and LMAOO thatd be rly funny actually. it has actually occurred to me that this might happen ejrjrjfj

anyways, thabk you nonnie <3

[godsforlorn]

cedar hadn’t expected this level of directness, but deep down, he knew he needed it. the man couldn’t take the first step if his life depended on it. his reaction, however, was unmistakable: confusion creased his brow, followed by a slow, dawning realization. " hold up … so you're saying if i asked you out, you'd actually say yes ? " his tone carried a blend of disbelief and relief, as if all this time, he’d been tiptoeing around an answer that had been right in front of him. if he had known that, he probably would’ve asked her out days ago. no, scratch that—many days ago.

                         ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ to. @godsforlorn

                    " are you ever going to ask me out? i see the way you look at me, and i know you see the way i look at you. if not, " she lets out a theatrical sigh, " i'll just wear this dress for the vet tech that asked me out at the bar last night. "

[thejademountaincollective]

How did u find out that u where a System + who was the first alter? :3 (i’m sorry if this is making you uncomfortable Im just genuinely curious + TYSM for following me!! :3)

OMG HI!!!!!!

I think we might have came across a video on TikTok about being a system and it really intrigued us so we went to discord and searched up DID/OSDD and there was soooo much servers for systems! We joined one to learn more about them and did a whole bunch of research about how it was caused and all that sort of stuff. eventually we started learning about alters and how the mind works with DID/OSDD!!! It definitely took like a month to figure it all out completely and then start discovering alters but a lot of research helped!!!!

I’m not completely sure who the first alter was but the first one we discovered was Cedar/Cynthia!!!

Thanks so much for the question!!! :3

[onlyfangz]

tysm @prismbearer ;o; you were too kind for this

i cant choose between ragnar and rose bc theyre both my children so pls excuse me whilst i self-indulge.

ANIMAL - Ragnar: Bison Rose: Peacock

COLORS - Ragnar: Yellows, Greens, and Blues

Rose: Purples, Greens, and Reds

MONTH - Ragnar: November Rose: April

SONGS - Ragnar: Halfway Home by TV on the Radio // My Alcoholic Friends by the Dresden Dolls // Bloody! Bloody! by Junie & TheHutFriends // Where's Your Head At by Basement Jaxx // Experiment on Me by Halsey Rose: A Lady by Tally Hall // Rule #21 - Momento Mori by Fish in a Birdcage // Soul in My Body by Pinc Louds // Lay All Your Love on Me (Arr. C. Davis for Orchestra) by Philharmonia Orchestra

NUMBER - Ragnar: 13 Rose: 77

PLANTS - Ragnar: Thistles, Dandelions, Nettles, Creeping Ivy Rose: ... Well. Roses. Cotoneaster, Cherry Laurels.

SMELLS - Ragnar: Musk, Cedar, and Tobacco Rose: Vanilla, Jasmine, and a little bit of Cinnamon

GEMSTONE - Ragnar: Jade Rose: Amethyst

SEASON - Ragnar: Winter Rose: Spring

TIME OF DAY - Ragnar: 3AM Rose: Noon

PLACES - Ragnar: Taverns filled with nameless strangers, empty roads in grasslands, secret passages Rose: Lively taverns, docks, marketplaces, the middle of a crowd

FOOD - Ragnar: Legs of ham, potatoes, garlic butter Rose: Grapes, scones, pumpkin soup

DRINKS - Ragnar: Water Rose: Wine

ELEMENT - Ragnar: Earth Rose: Air

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN - Ragnar: Aries Rose: Leo

SEASONINGS - Ragnar: Pepper, chives, ginger Rose: Basil, rosemary, thyme

SKY - Ragnar: Golden hour Rose: Pink sky in the morning

WEATHER - Ragnar: Storms Rose: April Showers

MAGICAL POWER - Ragnar: Elemental Bending Rose: Charms (Charm Person, Enthrall, etc.,)

WEAPONS - Ragnar: Ax Rose: Dagger

SOCIAL MEDIA - Ragnar: Pinterest Rose: Twitter

MAKEUP PRODUCT - Ragnar: Kohl Pencil Rose: Lipstick

CANDY - Ragnar: Anything with Malic Acid in it Rose: Chocolate (especially dipped in fruit)

METHOD OF LONG DISTANCE TRAVEL - Ragnar: Walking Rose: Caravan

ART STYLE - Ragnar: Baroque Rose: Rococo

FEAR - Ragnar: Claustrophobia (Fear of Confined SpacesP Rose: Nyctophobia (Fear of the Dark)

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE - Ragnar: Phoenix Rose: Unicorn

PIECE OF STATIONARY - Ragnar: Sticky Notes Rose: Highlighters

THREE EMOJIS - Ragnar: 🐾💣⚡ Rose: 💋🌹🎶

CELESTIAL BODIES - Ragnar: Jupiter Rose: Star

tagging: @transgortash @lord-gortrash @galesleftearring @deerbab @bootheminiaturegiantspacehamster and you, reading this

[royalrebelpropaganda]

Do you have an AO3? I'll gift you my cedar/raven fics when they're done if you do :P

I do !! I'm royalrebelpropaganda on ao3 as well <3 tysm !!