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marengogo · 4 months ago

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Are You Sure?! - #2: The Right Side of the Bed

Interlude: Shadow - by SUGA [Map of The Soul: 7]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello my Bangtan Loving Gurls, Bois & Enbys,

How have you been? Yesterday was a bit shit in Tanniedom, wasn’t it? But fret not! My Spousy @chikooritajjk has us covered. They have written and most likely still writing ARMY-SPIRIT-UPLIFTING posts and for that and many other things I am super grateful, so do check them out if you need a boost of positivity. Hence, I thought I’d venture into giving us also a very little break from all dat and talk about our recent Are You Sure?! VMINKOOK Edition episodes, as there actually is a lot to unpack at the same time I am also working on another post which I actually started before this, like on Monday, about certain type of 431s (for does who don’t know, 431 stands for ARMY) and it is not the most “positive” post so maybe I’ll wait until Mercury Retrograde ends to post it 🤡… which is in 1 day. Ayte then! Let’s start, shall we?

Now, y’all know I’m OT7 right? If it is your first time landing on my page, do not that I am OT7, it is very important to me, and to you as well, trust me bro! Yet, I know many also have biases, which is perfectly fine in my books, as long as you do respect all the other members as well. It is very much impossible, in my not-so-humble opinion, to do any relationship assessment if you hate/dislike/don’t respect to a certain level/don’t understand aspects that are intrinsic parts of the environment of what/whom you are trying to analyse. Already having a bias can affect opinions if not controlled being OT7 is also having a bias by the way, but Hate … child … Hate is The Ultimate Influencer, but so is Love, by the way, which is why The Gray of it All is important during discussions like this one. That being said, let me spell it out so that we have no confusion or misunderstandings.

Tae & JK are very intrinsic parts of JM’s life.

JM & JK are very intrinsic parts of Tae’s life.

JM & Tae are very intrinsic parts of JK’s life.

This is the same and equally important for all 3 of them for all 7 really, however, the degree, intensity and shape they take into each other’s life is different depending on the pairing, and this episode gave us a trivial synopsis taste of all 3 dynamics, which you could only observe and appreciate if you allowed Mx. Gray do their thing and let Hate and Love sit this one out, or comfortably watch the backseat, to each theirs.

Let’s start by setting the scene. Ignoring what Capulets, Montagues and the VPD have to say, with their weird-ass, borderline-offensive and obtuse takes: Are You Sure?! Is a JK and JM show. Does it mean they hate the rest of the members? No. Does it mean they are trying to leave the band? No. Does it mean that they have finally decided to cave in and provide shippers with the ever-sought fanservice they’ve all been waiting for? No. All it ever was meant to be, was a single travel vlog from these two particular members who expressed the desire of wanting to spend some quality time together and share said time with ARMY. Simple as that. Eventually, regardless of JM’s IBM and JK’s cold, they had so much fun that they decided to go on one more trip, and that apparently was such a blast, that they decided to make a whole show out of it.

It is important however to point out, and rationally acknowledge, that both JK and JM have tried their darn, polite and explicit, best to make sure that it was understood that this show was something they wanted to do just the two of them. They loved the time they spent with Tae, no doubt about that. If you ask me, they actually made an exception because it was Tae and would have probably refused the Hyungs y’all vibes don’t really check out like that, for this type of trips, sorry 🤡. Even so, they have Bon Voyage, In The Soop, private time, and they can even create a Makane Line Show if they want, where they can satisfy the desire to travel together. Furthermore, the fact that no other guest was invited to Sapporo, coupled with JK jokingly mentioning that they should hone their vlogger skills and keep going until they turn 50 years in addition to other comments, in my opinion, makes it pretty clear that they just want it to be a JungJi thing now that JungJi is a thing, or JimKook or whatever for reasons they only know, and we may never.

The Guest

Do you know the type of confidence you have to have to, so nonchalantly and publicly, let it be known, that you are aware of the fact of being a guest? HYB3 could have easily marketed this as a subunit show, with mainly JK & JM as units. USA - JK & JM; Jeju - VMINKOOK; Sapporo JK & JM. It wouldn’t MAINLY JK & JM because, as we all should know by now, IT IS A JK AND JM SHOW. Yet, here he is, Tae in all his glory, spending time on an island he seems to care about for his own reasons with people he obviously loves and feels so much at ease with:

Things like sleeping in a bed he knew was supposed to “be JM’s” he could only pull off because he knew that JM wouldn’t care about it, in the same way JK & JM raced for the other available bed like they knew they were okay with sharing it.

In general,Tae is the band’s Englishman in New York. He does thing at his own pace, feels emotions with his own intensity and also understands things at his his own pace which has come to bite him in the ass many a time 🤡 …. He is also a man who quickly adapts in any given situation and isn’t shy about getting what he needs with/around people he is completely at ease with, such as a deep conversation with JM, all kinds of foolery with JK, absolute cosyness with JM and/or tenderness with JK. He is also extremely tactile, and if he is comfortable with you he will promptly ignore any personal space, almost as if physically connecting with you is the one way he can connect with you on all levels, which doesn’t sit well with everyone, and Tae will try his best to understand why on Earth you would reject his embrace, LOL, like when Joonie didn’t want to hug while sleeping during Bon Voyage season 4.

Throughout episode 3 and 4, it felt to me like Tae had things going on and was perhaps past the processing time, and needed some wholesome I-don’t-want-to-think/distraction time, which is why he was with Wooga and JK & JM in this particular period of time. It’s almost as if he was looking for some kind of relief. Like he wanted to know that things wouldn’t change when in the presence of people with whom he needed things not to change. If he had things his way, I’m sure he would have had Hobi be also part of this Jeju trip but as we all know …. Whatever he was trying to process he really didn’t want to think about, so he ventured out into places where people would allow him to just be.

In fact, I’m not sure if people have noticed but, during this Jeju trip, in many an instance Tae has for example allowed himself to slide himself in and out of situation or just do as he pleased, irrespective of what the other two did, for example, he was having a phone-conversation about a gym with an acquaintance of his while they were at the cafe, or stayed alone on one side of the boat, while the other two were fishing right next to each other.

Tae was basically living the type of holiday I would aspire to experience at this time in my life. I had a difficult break up at the start of the year which sometimes I still questions, but I honestly know it was for the best and even though I want to be alone, I have accepted that human beings are not islands, and to that respect, I am lucky enough to be around people who let me just be, they involve me the right amount, I involve myself the right amount, but for the rest I am allowed to just space out when I do, or get lost in my cell phone, or heavily rant, or do whatever other random thing comes to mind of recent. Obviously, I don’t know what most have happened to Tae, but I think that Tae also has this type of relationship with his close friends, be it Wooga or Bangtan. In particular, when it comes to JK, he is able to enjoy comradery, understanding and tenderness, whereas when it comes to JM he can relish in comfort, reassurance and allowance.

The Hosts

JM and JK have been formidable hosts, in my humble opinion, or at least the type of hosts that I would like. If we follow my line of thought where I think something was bothering Tae, they have tried their best to involve Tae in everything they did as a means of distracting him, in the best way they could, while still keeping true to themselves. And even though, on different occasions, they have pointed out that Tae was a guest because my boys had plans with each other, which couldn’t be carried out as a pair, but the fact that a guest is actually present means they are fully on board with it all, BUT they still need to somehow mourn their foiled plans, I am pretty sure it was just part of their usual a maknae-line role-play/banter. Furthermore, for the most part, they also didn’t force Tae to participate in things after they asked him once, and he’d refuse. They really did let him be, but always made sure to try and involve him where they could.

Basically JK and JM came ready to do what they had planned to do and they were comfortable enough to also do it with their guest in such a way that they didn’t feel obliged to change anything, because they knew that they could be themselves in the presence of Tae. For example, I’m not sure why, but I knew that Tae was gonna sleep in JM’s bed, because JM is never averse to Tae’s tactfulness Joonie, we ain’t judging you 🤡, JK we ain’t judging you either! if anything, he embraces it; JM seems to be the type of person that amplifies your traits. So my question, leading to the sleeping scene was: will JM sleep with Tae or would JK sleep on the spare bed as a consequence of JM ending up on the other bed because of seniority?

You should have seen my shocked face when JK & JM came running into the room and were already aiming for “JK’s bed”. There was no shock at the fact that Tae was already occupying JM’s bed, it was like they already knew that there would have been only JK’s bed available, and apparently the mattress wasn’t an option which is ironic for a person who is known for having mattresses scattered around his house. But let’s go deeper. Not only did they immediately aim for JK’s bed, but they both seemed to aim for the right side of the bed. At some point during the night, they both took a shower, after playing in the pool, and JM seems to have taken a shower upstairs as they showed JK entering the downstairs bathroom.

If JM took a shower upstairs, he would have seen Tae in his bed watching TV and most likely would have chatted with him and found out that Tae wasn’t feeling too great, which as we saw he then told JK. Thus, there must have been a moment where JM and JK discussed bed allocations before going upstairs and we are going to ignore, for the time being, that both their luggages are on the ground floor … this eventually turned into a race/game as JK sprinted for the right side of the bed, a side which so far, we’ve only seen JM sleep in, as JK has, thus far, only slept on the left side of any bed.

So now we have a situation where JM is on the left and JK is on the right and they don’t bother changing, but they’ve kinda promised each other not to hit each other, so they are somewhat self-conscious, and stay quite far apart, most likely to assure that they don’t hit each other. Yet, as the night passes you can notice that my Twin-flame subconsciously gets closer to JM. I think he was particularly stressed about not hitting JM at which point he wakes up and decides to go and sleep on the left side of the floor mattress. And me being me thought “If they were cuddled together, they wouldn’t have hit each other…” which made me realise that perhaps JK hit JM in the CT cabin because they were sleeping apart, like on that bed in Jeju, but in opposite positions, because you know … cameras on and all.

Bed arrangement aside, there are little things that seem to be a constant with the two of them, such as JK ordering food for the both of them, or JM making sure to order food for JK. If we want to be super specific, JK making sure to know if JM is having fun, JM asking JK specifically if JK has tweezers but not asking Tae, who quite quickly gets into his personal space and offers to take whatever hair out with his bare fingers. “Let’s shower”, “let’s eat ramyeon”, “let’s go to bed” … almost everything they do, seems like they want to do together, same as all the activities they have chosen, they seem to have chosen to each other's liking, exerting activities for JK, ocean activities for JM, as well as excellent restaurants for the both of them. In addition “JK, are you no longer hungry?”, “JMsshi you are not eating well”, “JK relax your shoulders”, “JM is prettier …” they also seem to be very attentive to each other, constantly. In fact, if I were to summarise their relationship based on these two episodes, I would say that JK and JM relish in longing, consideration and intimacy.

Episode 4 is by far my favourite episode, and the one I’ve admittedly watched the most. It allowed me to explore all these dynamics and the three of them just seemed to live through their personas so nicely, without having to worry too much about having to entertain while being unintentionally entertaining, like taekook hitting their head on the same spot on the boat or JM giving JK “CPR” as a consequence. NGL to you, I am really looking forward to episode 5. It is their last night together and I think our hosts are truly enjoying their time with their guest. As it is their last night, JK and JM will probably try to be entertaining enough for their guest and Tae will probably try to be just as easy-going to his hosts, regardless, their serenity and lightheartedness is quite soothing to me, so I honestly CAN’T WAIT.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

#Are You Sure?! Ep 3-4 #Are You Sure?!

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ninuorimi · 23 days ago

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sooo who told me to go on a panel during mercury retrograde to answer questions about astrology when I’m not an astrologer - NOBODY! & I’ll do it again hehehe, bun imposter syndrome - clearly I’m still on a high! It’s just amazing to me, this life. It’s the first ‘ology I started learning on my journey right, so when I responded to an IG note saying “astrology nerds hit me up” I never thought I’d end up sitting in front of a room full of beautiful people, in such a gorgeous venue, answering questions intuitively, with such cool panelists beside me

…

Anyway, pluto in aqua was brought up and the way I could type for days about this energy (sorry, not sorry, in advance innit) but was stuttering when I wanted to oppose some of the discourse going on

Essentially, pluto will bless you if you stay true to yourself, but honestly that’s with everything in life, regardless of what’s going on up there, stay connected to your Ori

But aqua energy? Lol. Where do I begin?

Can we agree aquas are not easily understood by many, even by themselves sometimes? Can we also agree that aquas tend to go against the grain/flow of things intentionally, refusing to follow the crowd at times, questioning ways that don’t serve them and ultimately others so therefore inspiring change for the collective (this energy starting towards the end of an 8 year is so apt as well, wow!)

If we can agree on this, then if a planet like pluto is taking on such an energy right after cappy, how do we think we, the collective, are going to digest this transformation - it’s giving, “let’s get ready to rumbleeeee” + “delete all that shit I’m not playing with you peggy!” - but if peggy didn’t make all that shit in the first place, how’d we know it needs to be ‘deleted’? & if we can build such structures, why hold onto them so dearly my love if we can just rebuild better ones? Hm

No transit/aspect is bad, which is one reason I slowed down on astrology because the vocabulary started to trigger me, but I digressss

…

Let’s all be guided and let’s all be prepared… I thought I was starting to invoke the spirit of confusion towards the end of the panel, but now I know what that feeling was trying to make me say - in all things, try not to allow the spirit of confusion into your atmosphere - especially right now as this transformative energy is just kicking off

Stay consciously intentional, tunnel visioned for some even, for others, work on your vision, otherwise I do believe your true motive will be questioned, especially by self, causing more confusion.

Hm.

It’ll be hard to be fake, to use others, to be all mememe (shout out thisdystopia on IG) - in fact this energy is giving social to the extent we might actually as a collective finally interact (again??) with aliens …

Also, note that this transition will happen in stages - you’ve got to go to the actual self proclaimed astrologers to dissect them stages tho.

But I’m tapping out now cuz lol, wdym aliens?? & wdym again?? I need sleep but I’ll finish with this, be prepared for the negativity when you release from a space of authenticity, but still, release, we the collective need that - turn off comments, transmute your doubt, do it scared 😅 WE NEED THAT - don’t let low vibrations hold you back!

#astrology #pluto in aquarius #thoughts #ninuorimi #panel #spirituality #pluto talks #age of aquarius #intuitive messages

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geographerdose · 4 months ago

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Celestial Screenshots Destined For Fame, Pt. 14:

Natasha Lyonne

Natasha Lyonne is hands down one of my favorite actresses. I love her authenticity, directness and straightforward, non-bullshit demeanor but like coming from a good place— like you can tell she’s a good person despite the challenges she’s faced or maybe even because of the challenges she’s faced?

She’s been open about her struggles with addiction, childhood trauma/neglect and self-loathing— I AM HERE FOR IT. 🙌🏻

At least partly because I genuinely feel people that have been through the most shit are the most humble, authentic and compassionate people of all time— obviously this can go the other way too and people can become entitled, angry and hostile—

but when these people accept+heal what they’ve been through and take responsibly for their actions, live with humility and forgive others+themselves— you get a compassionate, awesome and self-aware human being like Natasha Lyonne.

Check out the YouTube WTF with Marc Maron-Natasha Lyonne interview, Tumblr won’t let me copy the link and I’m not restarting another post to share but it is SO good. I love Marc Maron— he’s hilarious.

I was actually super surprised to see all the water in her chart because she comes off so fiery/airy

No publicized birth time but I strongly suspect she’s probably a Sag rising or an Aries rising (possibly Libra too)

Aries rising argument

She’s legit so entertaining and such a joy to listen to which leads me to believe Aries rising with Sun in the first. She isn’t afraid to let her true self shine or to admit her mistakes, which would make sense because the Sun isn’t really being maltreated, which to me is less likelihood of a big ego and more aptness toward humility. She does kind of have a Pluto-type vibe though but it’s more in your face than the subtler influence of Sun-Pluto/Mars aspects . She’s hilarious with her dry humor and wit while maintaining an authentic kindness that isn’t sugary sweet.

Natasha’s Sun is unafflicted and exalted in Aries, in addition to having that square from Jupiter and the Moon. Jupiter is a benefic so this is good and the Moon is neutral. But not only that, Jupiter is also exalted in Cancer and she has 29 degrees on it— ⭐️ the Leo/fame degree

I would venture to say she has a day chart because of this. Also Aries rising would make sense because she’d then have a 12th house stellium and that’s a common fame indicator

Also, though, having those planets there can help to explain potentially her struggles with addiction, as the 12th house is considered a less than great house due to its non-aspecting nature to the 1st house.

I don’t think she’s an Aries rising because then her 10th house would be ruled by Saturn, which is placed in the 6th house. Another house that doesn’t aspect the 1st. I just can’t see her having as successful as a career as she has with this placement.

Libra Rising argument

10th house would be in Cancer, with exalted Jupiter still in a day chart and would explain her success as a child actress. Not to mention her IMBD credits, talk about PROLIFIC.

Also though with it being exalted in Cancer and at 29 degrees, this would point to her massive fame and success. Cancer is also at its domicile in the Moon. Very very fortunate tenth house matters. And these are entirely unafflicted by malefics.

The Sun is making a square to Jupiter/Moon (which rule her tenth house of career) so this is where the fame sneaks in, as if the 29 degrees wasn’t enough.

Yeah, she’s a Libra rising. Day chart.

3rd house Sag— she’s pretty brutal actually lol but she’s hilarious. It’s interesting to see how Cancer placements play out for everyone. With a fire degree like 29, she’s def going to be more outgoing than a 28 degree Jupiter Cancer— more likely to say what’s on her mind.

4th house Cap with ruler retrograde Saturn in the 12th would explain her difficult childhood/narcissistic parents. Especially with the opposition from Mars but Venus and Mercury are here to help. She talks about it, and helps others feel not so alone, and has made her own family through friends and I think that’s really beautiful.

A lot of people with Pisces stelliums seem to struggle with addiction— not everyone but a lot do. Escapism is a huge theme with Pisces and to have a true stellium (with 3 personal planets in the same sign) would mean that 3/7 of the traditional planets are in one sign. Nearly half so yeah— they’re gonna tend toward escapism in whichever flavor they prefer.

Verdict: Yeah, she’s 100% a Libra rising.

Also I said it up in Aries rising argument: “Pluto is is more in your face” and Libra rising would put it in her first house. Her overall demeanor would make sense as an air rising too.

Plus, helloooo gorgeous wtf why wouldn’t she have her first house ruled by Venus?! Not to mention Venus being exalted in Pisces on top of it!!!

#Natasha Lyonne #celeb charts #astro observations #astro community #rising sign guess #celeb rising sign guess #celebs no publicized birth time #libra rising #celestial screenshots destined for fame #for entertainment purposes only

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hillarysss · 4 years ago

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Astrology Observations pt.25992962286

No one is safe this time

Will not resonate with everyone. ��🏼‍♀️

I really think Virgo placements tend to be prone to falling into depression. I’ve seen this a lot actually they always have 2+ more virgo placements. Or an afflicted Virgo moon is sometimes enough to be prone to depression.

Venus Opposition Chiron In Natal Chart can make someone give way too much in relationships but can also make them scared of rejection to the point they retreat to ghosting and hiding in a little shell because they’re scared.

Air moons tend to be detached from big scenarios like death or very big major events. But will cry to the thought of being rejected and not validated.

Capricorn moons are beautiful and funny souls they just criticize and try to help their loved ones but they’re seen as annoying and sometimes they are.. but I really feel like they’re very underrated. These individuals are loyal (Unless a hoe phase because they can turn into PLAYERS) They want the best for their loved ones. If a Capricorn Moon loves you and is a little mean sometimes just know they’re just trying to help.

Someone who grew up wealthy most likely has Ceres in Taurus. (Unless afflicted this can make them battle for food and other resources)

Fire moons are very emotional and they express anger. Instead of tears. They are the type to send their best friends voicemails ranting over their ex instead of actually crying.

Taurus sun Cancer Moon is such an amazing combo! These are the BEST FRIENDS ever!!!

If you have a 12th house stellium do you realize when something bad goes in your life like a best friend leaves you something positive comes along soon enough? You gain some and lose some.

VEDIC>> Venus and Ketu together is a sign of a pornstar. Especially on the 7th.

Saturn Opposition Chiron is a sign of someone thinking they’re responsible for all the trauma they’ve been through. They feel like they have to achieve in school so much to the point they become mentally exhausted. Intrusive thoughts as well. Prone to OCD with very intrusive thoughts. They think not doing work threatens their whole life's existence. They burn themselves out. Extremely challenging aspect.

Every Virgo I’ve met was always so slim and tall??

People with their lilith as The same as their venus can make very toxic individuals. But can make them more aware of their toxicness. Which is better than not being aware.

Pisces suns are all always artistic someway. Literally

Air moon in 8th thinks about death a lot

Libras are very very much prone to be liars.. I have so many stories

Mercury in scorpios can peep sneaky shit only cause they doing the same sneaky shit they don’t get caught though

Gemini in big three did you ever have a problem with lying?

Cancer moons why are y’all so cute lol

If a Venus in Leo isn’t posting you their cheating

Water placements tend to like cats or smaller animals in general. (Esp cancer)

Mercury with a hard aspect to Uranus, y’all are so smart?? Like how does anyone debate with them and win?

Taurus Moons, I’m convinced none of you exist.

Mars- Uranus very very bad mood swings..

Sun Hard Aspect To Mars- Random energy losses, prone to ADHD.

Sun Conjunct Mercury- Chef’s kiss lol. All you all are so logical.

Sun Square Moon- Challenging for a lot of personal relationships. I’ve seen most people who have this self sabotage relationships.

It’s so hard to get back a Leo Moon once they say they’re done, they’re done lol

Mercury aspect to ascendant makes someone so reliable and lean. Probably wears glasses?

Sun in 8th has horrible eyesight

Leo Risings are so easy to spot

One Pisces placement is enough to make someone incredibly intuitive. (Besides Uranus)

Mercury in retrograde has a horrible time expressing themselves. They lose friends cause of this they always don’t know what to say. May stutter a lot

Pluto in 10th are obsessed with Social Media. However, they’re either really private about social media or obsessed.

Taurus Moons Never complain about things they have.

Gemini Venus do you all know y’all flirting with us sm or y’all clueless abt it?

Saturn In Virgo are good workers but can make someone very anxious and insecure abt their work.

Moon in 6th tends to struggle with health within the body. Are prone to overly eating when emotional.

Water risings look so delicate and beautiful, I think you can always tell when someone is a water rising.

Jupiter Opposition or Conjuct Moon in a females chart can indicate big breasts or a heavy top body.

Jupiter - Asc makes someone have such a nice mischievous smile. Wider noses.

Water moons even if attracted to air moons it most likely won’t last. Air moons don’t understand their behaviour sometimes.

Aries moon can be people pleasers.

Leo Moons can try wayy too hard sometimes

A Venus in Cancer likes when boundaries are put up in a relationship makes them feel more secure.

Fire Venus + Water Venus can make a good combo, just a little more work needs to be put. But I feel like Fire venuses tend to adapt to any love language, especially Leo.

Mercury in Gemini or/and moon in aquarius tend to not believe in astrology. If not they never take it seriously.

#astrology observations #astrology memes #astrology roast #astrology notes #astrology tips #astro tips #air moons #fire moons #water moons #rising signs #water risings #leo risings #fire risings #earth signs #virgo moon #virgo #chiron #chiron aspects #i am bored

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tropes-and-tales-archives · 2 years ago

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Rafael Barba: Cursed

Word Count: 5269

TW: Minor injury (broken bones); fluff; two idiots in love; mutual pining; smut (PiV, protected). 18+ only.

AN: Part two of a three-part series: Part One, Part Three

Sometimes, things just went horribly, spectacularly wrong.

Some people blamed family curses, while others blamed Mercury being in retrograde. Your older brother – a perennial screw-up in his own right – used to simply and crudely call it “the universe taking a shit on you.”

The thing was – you were remarkably put together most of the time. You had a tough job, but you loved it, and you were good at it. You had a small apartment, but it was cozy. You had family that you loved, but they were far enough away that you could keep a comfortable distance from their drama. You weren’t Type A, exactly, but you were Type A-adjacent, so you managed your chaotic life with to-do lists and deep breaths and perspective. And it usually worked.

But sometimes things went wrong, and when everything was finally over and the dust settled, you would be able to find where it all started for you: a blown fuse.

When you plugged in your phone the night before, it never charged. So, your alarm never went off, and you woke up late to a face full of weak winter sunshine streaming in through your window.

Like a snowball loosed at the top of a very steep hill, it all grew and grew after that.

You showered and dressed hastily, forewent any makeup, let your hair air-dry. You plugged in your phone to charge enough to see the missed calls and texts from your partner, Nick, and your commander, Liv. You replied to both and apologized.

You packed your messenger bag – laptop, notebook, wallet. You grabbed an extra tote bag and filled it with the gifts you had wrapped the night before. Gifts for Liv and Nick and the rest of the SVU detectives. Gifts for Carmen and Barba. A gift for your friend, who you were meeting for lunch that day.

Then you left your apartment, sending up a silent prayer that the day would get better.

-----

Your day did not get better.

In fact, it got much worse. To the point where you’d feel like you’d been cursed.

You just never got your balance. You got into the precinct late, flustered, barely pulled together. You knew it was bad by how sympathetically Nick tilted his head at you, asked if you were okay. Liv came out of her office and asked if you need a half-day. Fin, the snarky jerk, asked if you were going to ask Santa for a hairbrush. Amanda, the resident detective with her mind perpetually in the gutter, insinuated that you’d had a raucous one-night stand.

“I’m fine,” you told Nick and Liv. And you shot Fin and Amanda equally disappointed glares as you settled in at your desk.

“You don’t look fine,” Nick said.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. “And you don’t look like you want your Christmas gift, Nicholas.” You opened your eyes and reached into your bag to pull his present out. You held it out tantalizingly, and when he reached for it, you jerked it out of his grasp.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked.

Your gifts to your teammates were all the same thing: a box of assorted baked goods. You loved to bake, and you always broke out your grandma’s Old World recipes for the holidays. Lebkuchen, pfeffernuse, honey cookies. Simple shortbread that melted in the mouth. Soft gingerbread unlike the cardboard version sold in the U.S. You had gifted similar boxes last year to rave reviews. In fact, you baked all the time and used any excuse to gift your creations.

You pretended to ignore Nick as he apologized and then pleaded with you, and once you finally felt a bit more settled, you gave him his gift. And you passed out everyone else’s too, leaving just three in your bag: one for Carmen, one for Barba, and one for your friend.

-----

By the time lunch rolled around, you felt a little better. Still off-kilter, but better.

You stopped by Hogan Place before meeting your friend for lunch. Barba was in a grand jury, so you rifled through your bag and pulled out Carmen’s gift and handed it to her.

“Is that what I think it is?” Carmen asked, arching an eyebrow.

“It is.” You gestured to Barba’s office. “You mind if I leave his on his desk?”

Carmen nodded, already untying the elaborate ribbons on her own gift. In Barba’s office, you took a moment: it was weirdly intimate being in his inner sanctuary without him there. You could just pick up the faint hint of his cologne, the scent of coffee from the half-full and abandoned cup on his desk. The pad of paper with his slanted handwriting across it. The law review with pages dog-eared for future reading.

Barba was an easy man to admire, and it hadn’t taken long for you to develop a crush on him. You’d never say anything, of course, but you still indulged it in stupid little ways. Like making sure he got the best cookies from each batch you’d baked. Like making sure his ribbon was the fluffiest and curliest. Dumb stuff.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, but your chiming phone startled you out of your reverie. It was your friend, letting you know that she was at the restaurant already.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, and you reached into your bag, barely glancing at the gift you sat on Barba’s desk. Then you turned on your heel and jogged out of his office, already thinking of an excuse and an apology for your friend for being late.

-----

Your mistake didn’t become apparent until after lunch, when both you and your friend Rachel were sipping coffees and handing each other your gifts. You’d gone to college together and settled in the city together, and she was one of your closest friends.

“This is for you,” she said, and she handed you a gift that turned out to be the new, illustrated omnibus edition of Philip Pullman’s “His Dark Materials.” It was your favorite series, and she’d gotten it signed at a book shop while on a work trip to London.

“And this is for you,” you said, handing over her gift with a sly smile. Rachel had been unceremoniously dumped over Thanksgiving by a guy you never thought was worthy of her anyway. You had ordered a replacement boyfriend for her: a deluxe vibrator with twenty settings, able to get her off (unlike her ex) without being a worthless drain on her energy and money (like her ex). You took a sip of your coffee and watched her face expectantly as she unwrapped it.

“Ooooh, cookies,” she said.

And like that, your heart fell into your stomach, your stomach fell into the floor, and time slowed down.

“No,” you whispered as the horror of the situation washed over you. “Oh. God. No.”

“What?” Rachel pulled out a small piece of shortbread, popped it into her mouth. “I love your baking. It’s a great gift.”

You didn’t answer – you reached across the table to pulled the discarded bow and tag from the top of the box. Oh, god. You’d seen the edge of the name tag, mostly hidden under the bow. Just the “To: Ra” visible of the “To: Rachel.”

Like the “To: Ra” was visible on the Rafael box, under his elaborate bow. You had switched them, which meant if Rachel was sitting across the table from you and eating the choicest cookies…then Rafael Barba was unwrapping a fucking vibrator. From you. Wrapped extravagantly, like it was intentional.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I have to go,” you said, tears threatening to fall, and you shot to your feet, knocking over your mostly empty coffee cup. Your mind narrowed down to one goal: get back to Hogan Place before Barba got out of court. You ran out of the restaurant, forgetting to pay, forgetting to say goodbye, forgetting your own gift.

*****

Rafael didn’t return to his office until late afternoon. Carmen stood to greet him, and they did their usual handoff: she passed him his messages, his mail. He passed her a stack of folders that needed copied and filed.

“Did I miss anything?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No visitors. But bad news from SVU. There’s been an accident.”

Rafael’s heart clenched as Carmen buried the lede, as she sometimes did – you’d been hurt. The sudden tightness in his chest didn’t loosen until she said it was just a broken wrist.

“She wiped out right outside the building,” she told him. “She was sprinting down the sidewalk and hit that icy patch near the corner. Judge Barth saw it happen.”

“Why was she running?” Rafael asked. “Is she okay?”

Carmen shook her head. “Not sure. Judge Barth had to fight her to go to the hospital. She was really trying to get into the building, apparently, but I’m not sure why.”

Rafael gave a thoughtful hum at that, and he sent a silent prayer up for your safety. He went into his office and shed his suit coat, noting the gift on his desk. He ignored it for a moment to call Liv. Maybe you were in a rush to get a warrant.

-----

He’d been able to piece it together after the fact, the series of follies that led to this moment: him standing in front of your apartment door, waiting for you to answer.

Liv hadn’t offered any insight into your panicked attempt to get to Hogan Place. She only knew what he knew – you were in the E.R. getting a broken wrist set after a lunch date with a friend. She heaved a sigh and mentioned that she had already put in the paperwork to put you on desk duty while you healed.

Rafael tried to call you next, but your phone rang and rang and then went to voicemail. It didn’t seem like your phone was off. You just weren’t answering it.

It was perplexing. You were so put-together, unlike most of your fellow detectives. Your casework was as impeccable as your outward presentation. He had never seen you flustered, but something had set you off today. What could be so pressing that you’d fight off a judge to avoid medical care for what had to be a painful injury?

Then he turned to the gift on his desk, and a world of understanding came to him.

He could always tell one of your gifts – you gave them for the winter holidays, and Valentine’s Day, and any holiday, really. You were an ace baker, and you seemed to love gifting your cookies and pastries in elaborately wrapped boxes, all curled ribbons and sparkling wrapping paper. It made him smile to see it sitting on his desk, a lovely surprise after his disaster of a grand jury all day.

But it wasn’t baked goods. It was, according to the package after he unwrapped it, a LoveFusion 2000, with twenty various settings for both g-spot and clitoral stimulation with extra battery life.

“Huh,” he said to himself, and he checked the label on the gift box, buried under your massive ribbon display. There was the problem. “To: Rachel,” it said. Ah.

In the solitude of his office, Rafael threw his head back and laughed. And laughed, until tears crept out from the corners of his eyes. As his laughter tapered off, though, he realized the enormity of what had happened. Circumstantial, but he bet that Rachel had unwrapped his gift of baked goods in front of you. He bet that’s why you were sprinting to Hogan Place – you were trying to head off disaster.

The reality was sadder. He had been in his grand jury all day. If you had walked – carefully – you would have been able to make the switch without him being any wiser. Instead, you had probably panicked, uncharacteristically, and broken your wrist, and failed in your mission.

-----

Rafael went to the 16thprecinct before turning to home. He wanted to chat with Liv about an upcoming case anyway, but when he got there, Liv was gone. So was Amaro and Fin. The place seemed deserted, but he heard voices in the break room, and he walked in that direction.

And heard your voice, so he slowed up and cocked his head to listen. You must have come back into work after the E.R. to gather your things.

“I can’t ever face him,” he heard you say. “I have to quit. And move to another borough. Another state.”

Rafael heard a peal of laughter and recognized it as Rollins. “It’s not that bad,” she told you.

“It is that bad!” you cried out. “I put a sex toy on the desk of a sex crimes ADA, an ADA that I like a lot, by the way, and now I can’t even imagine looking at him, let alone – “

Rafael had been frozen in place by your admission that you liked him, so he missed the fact that both you and Rollins were exiting the break room as he stood just outside of it, like a creep, listening in. You brought yourself up short, cut off when you saw him, and the expression on your face was an entire journey: from surprise to despair to full-on resignation.

You looked barely held together: your coat was buttoned wrong, your hair was a wild mess, and your right hand was swaddled in a bright blue plaster cast that you held out awkwardly, like a bird with a broken wing. Your eyes had a panicky sheen to them, and they drifted down to see your gift to him – unwrapped – peeking out from a bag he had repurposed.

“Fuckmylife,” you hissed under your breath, and you ducked around him as you walked – quickly, but carefully – out of the bullpen.

He should chase after you, but he couldn’t seem to move his feet. You liked him? A lot?

Instead, he turned to look at Rollins, cocked an eyebrow at her. She only shrugged in reply, then said, “she’s had a rough day, I think.”

It was an understatement.

-----

He waited around a half hour for Liv, who never turned up, and then he left for home. But as he ordered a car and waited at the curb, surrounded by a light snow shower that made the streetlights sparkle, he thought back to your little coffee date the week prior. Or hot cocoa date, rather. Not a date, but he had still pretended it was in the moment. How you had made him feel that warm coziness, the unique comfort of the winter holidays, when it’s cold outside but you’re warm inside with the people you care about.

And you liked him. A lot, apparently.

As he waited, he scrolled through his phone and pulled up the contact information for SVU’s detectives. And when the car pulled up, he gave your address.

-----

Rafael knew you were inside your apartment. For one, he could hear you pacing around. For another, once he knocked, he heard you mutter, and then your muttered curse, as you saw who it was through the spy-hole. But you didn’t open the door, and you didn’t say anything.

“I know you’re in there,” he called out. “Come on. Open up.” And because you did tease him sometimes, he added, “come on, let me in. I’m practically vibrating from the cold out here.”

That got a reaction. You threw open the door enough for it to bounce on its security chain, and your baleful eye peeked out at him. “Don’t mock me,” you said.

“Let me in.”

You shook your head. “Can’t. Don’t want you to be an accessory to the crime that’s happening in here.”

“Which crime is that?”

You glanced over your shoulder, back into your apartment, like you were conspiring something. “I’m staging the scene to fake my own death. Can’t go on living as me anymore. Thought I’d start over somewhere else.”

Rafael laughed. “All this fuss over an honest mistake?”

You sighed and shut the door in his face, but he heard the slide of the chain, and you opened it up a moment later. You gestured for him to come in, but you refused to meet his gaze. In fact, you hung your head so forlornly that you seemed like a puppy that had been scolded.

But he didn’t say anything at first. He couldn’t – his eyes were taking in your apartment. It was small, like most New York apartments were, but it was decorated beautifully for the season. String lights, fresh pine swags festooned every available surface. A small tree, laden with shiny baubles, was in the corner. The place even smelled like the holidays, probably due to your baking frenzy. It was warm and cinnamony, and Rafael wanted to curl up on that comfortable looking couch of yours, wrap himself in the comfortable looking blanket slung over the back of it, and lay in lazy slumber in your place until spring.

“It was two,” you finally offered in a small voice. You still refused to look at him, and Rafael watched you as you fidgeted with the edge of your cast. You seemed completely unlike yourself. Embarrassed. Cringing.

“What do you mean, ‘two’?”

“Two honest mistakes. The gift, and the….uh…overheard conversation. With Amanda.”

“Ah,” he replied, crestfallen. His face fell a little, though you didn’t see it, and he tried to play it off. “I didn’t really think you liked me. It’s okay.”

Your eyes flew up to look at him, surprised, but then you glanced away again. “No, I…ah, fuck.” You threw your hands up in surrender and then looked him dead in the eye. You took a deep breath.

“I was making hot cocoa,” you told him. “Laced with Bailey’s. You want one?”

-----

And that’s what led to this moment: the two of you sitting on that comfortable couch, sipping delicious Irish cream-laced cocoa. Not saying anything at first, but since you weren’t facing him, you seemed more at ease. You talked to him, but faced your Christmas tree as you did it.

“I do like you,” you confessed. “The honest mistake was you overhearing it. I wasn’t ever going to say anything, since I didn’t want it to be awkward at work.” You glanced over at him, then looked away. “I think we work well together, and I didn’t want to mess that up.”

“I get that.” He had felt the same way, actually. There had been moments he thought you might feel the same way for him, but he wasn’t brave enough to take the chance. And he didn’t want to ruin your casual work friendship on a chance.

“But now it will be awkward anyway.” You shook your head. “My day started out rough and it just got worse. I should have just taken a personal day and rode it out in bed.”

The mention of the word “bed” made his mind wander, reminded him that he was inside your home, your own little haven from the world. He wondered what your bedroom looked like, what you taking a personal day would have been like. He imagined you in cozy flannel pajamas that matched the homey ambiance of your place. Hair loose, makeup free. Maybe watching one of those holiday baking shows, or maybe a cheesy holiday movie where blandly pretty white people worked through tepid problems before finding their obvious love match.

“Can we just pretend none of this ever happened?” you pleaded. You turned a little to face him, and Rafael was alarmed to see that your eyes had that sheen of tears in them again. You were completely discombobulated, and it hurt him a little to see it. You didn’t seem to realize it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to you. But that was the issue with problems – when you were in the middle of one, it always seemed worse.

“I think I’d have a hard time pretending that you don’t like me,” he told you gently. You nodded and hung your head again.

“I don’t want to make it weird,” you said. “I know you’re seeing someone and I – “

“What?” His voice was sharper than he intended, and you cringed at it.

“Aren’t you? Yelina? From the…the case last fall?” you asked.

Of course. The Muñoz case was your second case together, and you had witnessed it all: the dredged up feelings from the case with his former friend and his ex-girlfriend, the attacks in the press. Worse, you had walked in on him and Yelina one evening when Yelina had surprised him to plead for her husband. It probably looked a certain way to an outsider like you, and when the gossip papers detailed the pending divorce in the Muñoz marriage a few months later, you had likely made an assumption. A wrong one.

He shook his head at you. “I am not seeing Yelina.” He emphasized the “not” with a firmer shake of his head.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” he replied. You still didn’t look at him – your gaze was focused on your Christmas tree as you sorted through this new information.

“How’s your wrist?” he finally asked, his voice gentle. All of this new information aside, you’d had a terrible day and had been injured.

“Hurts. I’ve never broken a bone before.” You glanced at him and gave a sheepish smile. “Judge Barth saw me wipe out too. I don’t know how that will help my chances in her courtroom from now on.”

Rafael waved off your concern. “Don’t worry about it. You never give bad testimony.”

“Then why am I always practicing it with you? More than anyone else?”

Here was where some of the oppressive embarrassment shifted to him. He let his eyes fall to his half-empty mug of cocoa, but he could feel you watching him. He wasn’t one to flush easily, but he couldn’t help it now. He felt the heat creep up under his collar, and he knew you saw it.

If the two of you were anywhere else – Forlini’s, his office, some coffee shop – he’d never say anything. He’d change the subject and never bring it up again. Rafael Barba was, in many personal matters, a coward. He let Alex slander him in the press. He let his mother berate him for his reluctant part in bringing down Alex. He let people think what they would about him, personally speaking, and rarely corrected them. Why bother?

But your place was a warm, cozy little refuge, and you had all your cards on the table now. Might as well lay his out too.

“I like you a lot too,” he said simply.

-----

And that’s all what led to this moment: Rafael Barba in your bed. It started, you’d explain much later, with a blown fuse and a missed alarm. It ended with your first time together, that clumsily awkward, painfully sweet way that first times with a new person can be.

Looking back on it, Rafael wouldn’t change a single moment of it.

It started on the couch, of course. You had scoffed at his admission, so he had scoffed back at you until you were both arguing without any real weight, trying to talk each other out of liking the other. But it all made you smile – possibly for the first time that day – and it seemed like progress. From planning on faking your death to smiling a little shyly at him.

He couldn’t resist kissing you after that. And you couldn’t resist kissing him back, and while he never planned on seducing you from the get-go, he was powerless to the force of his attraction to you. You seemed to feel the same, and you eventually broke the kiss to lead him with your good hand to your bedroom.

It was more tender than his usual hook-ups went, few though they were. Rafael knew it was because it wasn’t just a hook-up – it was the start of something. Potentially wonderful, possibly perfect. He teased you a little (“want me to grab that gift you got me?” and that earned him a glare), but mostly he was gentle. He helped you undress because your dominant hand was broken, and then he undressed himself and crawled into bed with you with a pleased sigh. Because you were there, underneath him, and your bed was just as cozy as he had imagined it.

“Is this okay?” he murmured against your lips, swollen now from so much kissing. He felt dazed almost, how quickly it was happening, how unexpected. His solid weight was settled on top of you, his hips slotted between your thighs as the heavy weight of his cock pressed against the soft skin of your leg. Your right arm was raised above your head, resting on the pillow, but your left hand touched him everywhere. Gently, almost reverently, like you couldn’t quite believe it either.

You traced a path from the back of his neck, down across his shoulders and arms, down his back as far as you could reach. Back again, until your fingers threaded through his hair to pull his mouth back to yours.

“This is more than okay,” you whispered before you kissed him, and Rafael groaned into your mouth, sweet with just the barest hint of liqueur from the cocoa. He braced himself on one arm by your head but let the other hand reach down to cup your breasts, molding the firm flesh against his hands, stroking the already-hard nipples until you squirmed underneath him.

He broke the kiss and pulled back to look down at you. Your face was flushed now, but not in embarrassment anymore. It was naked desire for him, and Rafael realized just how much he had missed in not taking his chance with you earlier.

“Do you have protection?” he asked, and you nodded towards your nightstand. He reach into the drawer, fumbling with the box of condoms, pushing aside what looked to be an equally powerful vibrator of your own. He’d comment on it, but the moment was too perfect to ruin with snark. Besides, you’d had a rough day. No need to rub it in.

He sat back, knelt above you to roll the condom onto himself, but when he lowered his body back onto yours, he swore he saw more than just desire on your face. He was out of practice, but he could swear it might be love, too. Or at least the beginning of it.

Rafael lined himself up with your entrance – already slick with arousal – but he didn’t slide into you at first. He couldn’t know exactly what you were thinking, but he wanted you to know that this wasn’t just a casual fling for him. That, if you wanted more, he did too.

“I’m not saying I’m glad you had a bad day,” he murmured as he brushed some of your wild hair out of your face, tucked it behind your ear. “But…”

“But my broken wrist is the price for getting laid?” you finished with a grin.

Rafael shook his head and didn’t return your smile. “But I’m glad that some truth came out,” he corrected you. “I’m glad I overheard you. It gave me the courage to admit the same.”

You reached up and laid your palm along the side of his face. “Rafael Barba, are you a romantic? All this time, and I never knew?”

To answer, he dropped his head to kiss you, slowly and deeply, and the moment you sighed against him, he pushed forward, entered your velvety depths with a movement just as slow and deep. He paused halfway to watch your face for pain, but you only peered into his eyes and gave him the slightest nod to keep going. So he did.

It was there, surrounded by you – your arms around his shoulders, your good hand threaded in his hair, your legs bracketing his hips, his cock buried in you – that Rafael realized that the warmth he felt in his chest wasn’t your cozy apartment at all. The same way it wasn’t the hot cocoa before at the coffee shop, or the baked goods on Valentine’s Day, or the hundred little things that made up your casual working relationship with him up until now. It was you. Only you.

The sudden realization almost spilled out of his mouth, so he just kissed you. He kissed you as he rocked his hips into you, slowly at first, relishing the feeling of you. He kissed you, more urgently, as you spurred him on, his thrusting harder, faster. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to prolong it, but you reached down with your good hand, grasped his ass, pulled him deeper into you while chanting in his ear in a low whisper, “just like that, Rafael. Oh, you’re perfect.”

It was your praise that set him off; being called “perfect” in your bed made the tension low in his belly snap, and he groaned your name and reached down to press on your clit, desperate to make you come with him. You must have been close, because you did – you came together.

Him, shuddering through his final deep, punishing strokes. You, trembling under him as your cunt clenched against him. You moved your hand back to his head, pulled him back to your mouth so that you could kiss him as your orgasm washed through you. When it finally subsided, you released him, pressed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, and gave a pleased, heaving sigh.

“Wow,” was all you said.

Rafael, though? He felt like his heart was going to explode in his chest – too much feeling – so he collapsed as gently as he could on you. He heard your quiet laugh, but then he felt your hand again. Stroking his back lightly, scratching his head.

-----

He hadn’t intended to sleep with you, and he hadn’t intended to stay the night, but he did both.

You found a spare toothbrush for him, and he curled up in your bed naked, warm enough with your naked body beside him, tucked under the down comforter.

“I know this is fast,” he started to say, but he couldn’t think of what to say next. That he liked you, a lot? He’d already told you that. That he had been half in love with you and was fully in love now? That would probably scare you away.

“One day at a time,” you murmured. You were lying on your back, a little uncomfortable from your broken wrist, waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in. Rafael was on his side, facing you, with one arm thrown over your torso under the covers. Your good hand was on his arm, tracing little patterns along it. “Fast, slow. We set the pace however we want.”

You turned your head to smile at him, and he smiled back. He felt himself growing sleepy, but he tried to fight it. He wanted to ask if your bad day had gotten better in your estimation, but his eyes grew heavy as you stoked his arm.

He was reminded, as he nodded off, that the winter holidays are when it’s cold outside but you’re inside with the ones you love. He hadn’t felt that in a very long time, maybe never, but he knew he felt it now.

It was you, after all. Making him feel cozy. Making him feel like he was home.

#rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tropes-and-tales

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virgolife6 · 3 years ago

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nvm i found the ps chart post by toastmyrolls so ima copy and paste it because i can't reblog it

Persona Chart Notes ~

Hello my loves! I hope everyone is doing well and making it through these retrogrades! I’m adding persona chart notes & observations to my blog, I hope everyone finds some joy or entertainment with this new addition to my astrology blog. Therefore, these may or may not resonate with everyone!

If my followers end up liking this, I would love to add more persona chart observations. Please let me know! :) Do not copy or plagiarize my work, thank you! :3

GIF by tinydiphylleia

Cancer ruling the 11th house in a Venus persona chart can indicate someone who is perceived as compassionate and quite the nurturing figure. They may be the type of person that people go to when they need something whether it’s someone to listen, a friend, a helping hand, etc. Basically, they may be perceived as someone that may be protective of themselves, but are very kind individuals. They may be seen as the hopeless romantics as well.

Moon in the 12th house in a Mercury Persona Chart May be individuals who are seen as someone who is secretive with their way of communicating to the external world. People may not know all too much about the native, you never really know where they end up going. It is difficult for people to actually know what the moon person is doing so they may receive tons of assumptions that may not even be true, but that is just an observation.

Mercury Conjunct Uranus in a Mercury persona chart can indicate someone who may say controversial things. Others may perceive the native as someone who isn’t afraid of saying unconditional or controversial things. Their communication style may be seen as sarcastic or unpredictable.

Sagittarius ruling the 12th house in a Moon Persona Chart can tell us that this is someone who simply does what they want. You cannot tell the native what to do because they will do the complete opposite as to what you said to them. They may be perceived as someone who does out of pocket shit, and not in a controversial way (maybe if there’s other planets such as Jupiter or Mars) but in a way that will simply ✨keep you on your toes✨

Jupiter in the 6th house in a Moon persona chart can indicate a native who may have grown up in a nice home or on beautiful land. This could also mean that they may have grown up with a lot of animals or may have many animals in general. For example, They could be known for being that one person who has 10 cats, that kind of thing.

Now let’s discuss some Saturn Persona Chart notes!🪐

Pluto in the 4th house in a Saturn Persona Chart can indicate a native who more than likely grew up in an unstable and shaky family environment. The natives deepest fears may reside within their family and could potentially be the source of pain or trauma to the native since Saturn rules over the father in astrology as well as the Sun. Generational Trauma kind of deal(it may feel that way) If Pluto is in Retrograde within the 4th house, then the native may have issues internalizing their pain or issues within their own family. They may struggle with conflicting perspectives on the idea of family itself.

Uranus in the 6th house in a Saturn persona chart can tell us someone who may have grown up in a different way than compared to the average person. Perhaps they grew up outside of town or lived an unconventional lifestyle that may have not been ideal to others within society. They could have exotic pets or could have a love for many animals of all kinds. These people just simply have a different way of living and do not care about what others feel or think about that.

Juno Persona Chart Notes

Venus Conjunct Juno within a Juno persona chart can indicate a relationship where it may feel as though you’ve know your partner long before the first meeting. It’s an aspect that create fast and instant attraction to each other and people may see the native as someone who goes through many relationships or commitments.

Moon placed in the 10th house in Cancer can tell us that your partner may see you as someone who gives off motherly and nurturing instincts. They may show you off to the world as a way of showing love to you by letting everyone know you are their partner.

Written with so much love!!

~ Em🤍

® toastmyrolls

#astro #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology #astrology notes #astrology advice #aspects #astro advice #astrology facts #fame astrology #astro aspects #astro aspect #astrology aspect #astrology aspects #astro stuff #astrology stuff #stellium #astrology series #astro series

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cosmicfleaux · 2 years ago

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Got any astrology questions?

bored ass, restless ass, chronically depressed astrologer out here with a burning desire to not be as in my head as I currently am. Probably has something to do with the lunar nodes just truly rocking the shit out of my 4H/10H axis and Mars retrograding through my 5H in a cute little opposition to my natal Mars and Venus conjunction. Plus my planet rulers Saturn and Uranus are themselves so🤷🏾‍♀️

Anyways, I’m in the mood to answer questions about general astro stuff, clarification on natal placements, etc. I really like connecting different parts of people’s charts. For example, I like looking at the lunar node position as a thesis statement for the native, and seeing how their sun, moon, and ascendant operate in support or contradiction of the statement. Maybe losing yourself in your Pisces North Node is going to be more difficult when Mercury conjuncts your Ascendant. Maybe you absentmindedly slip into a dogmatic or academically elitist expression of your Sagittarius South Node because your Jupiter is negatively aspected by Saturn.

Or we could take a look at the specific decan in which one’s sun is placed — perhaps you’ve read horoscopes for Libra but haven’t always identified with horoscopes or stereotypes. Your Libra is expression is more Olivia Benson of SVU than Cher Horowitz of Clueless (I also like incorporating pop culture references to bolster one’s understanding of astro concepts) — how cool would it be if we discovered your Libra Sun was positioned in the more austere decan of this constellation, of which Saturn and Uranus share rulership with Venus?

I like breaking misconceptions about astrology or explaining the origin of certain stereotypes. Gemini and Pisces are not necessarily “two-faced” or “flaky.” These mutable signs are simply susceptible to change upon receiving more information in a manner that might be displeasing to fixed signs like Taurus or Aquarius (despite this latter air sign’s association with progression and radical change).

I also like to incorporate the occasional tarot reading into my interpretation of one’s natal chart because why not conjoin the spiritual girlie tools for additional insight?

If any of this sparks your interest, send an ask or message 💖✨🪐

I hate that I even have to type this, but don’t bother interacting if you plan to be disrespectful or demanding of my energy. Don’t have me invoke the Scorpio Sun and Mercury.

#astrology #tarot #astro observation #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #astrology observations #astro asks #12th house

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oliviamillss · 4 years ago

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reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners.

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective.

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say.

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser.

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic.

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others.

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign.

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist.

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms.

uranus:

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same.

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future.

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise.

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf.

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up.

i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

#dream #dreamwastaken #dreamsmp #astrology #chart reading #sun in 7th #famous people chart reading #moon in 7th #mercury in 6th #venus in 7th #mars in 9th #jupiter in 3rd #saturn in 3rd #uranus in 12th #neptune in 12th #lilith in 10th #lilith conjunct pluto #moon square lilith #astrology reading

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neptune-midheaven · 4 years ago

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💓 Astro Notes ! PT. 6 💓

i’m back with these y’all 😄😄 this is a so exciting to publish another set of these as i’ve been collecting these observations for over a week, i hope you enjoy them with a sprinkle of roasts and drags bc i’ve been too nice to y’all 😃😃 take these with a grain of salt and keep in mind these are personal observations as well as perceived patterns that came with these placements exhibited by others!! enjoy 😘😘💓💓

*Virgo risings are soo shy when you first meet them but once they know you they’ll become the most critical person you’ll ever meet.

*As gemini is a double, people who have it for their mercury sign often can speak or speak two different languages. They have the potential to become bilingual in two languages, and often there’s no trouble in switching from one language to the other from a well learned linguistic gemini mercury.

*Venus-neptune fall in love with their dreams. like literally, they can fall in love with the things in their dreams and have this hopeless romantic approach to them as well as reality.

*Mars-saturn, mars in capricorn have a depressed stature which can resort to back problems, problems with the bones. Bones crack sooo easily bahahah.

*Jupiter in 4th natives grew up around art, their childhoods were fill with so much joy and expansion, they likely have artistic parents if jupiter is placed in libra, taurus, cancer or pisces, this works for jupiter venus aspects as well.

*Jupiter-asc, specifically the squares and harsher aspects, are always subconsciously encouraging over excessive and extravagant behaviors, others are OVERLY sweet to them, or to contrast, others can be OVERLY excessive with their needs, pushing what the jupiter asc person can’t really handle, it’s so much for them lmfaoo. People just react jubilantly and dramatically toward these people.

*Moon square midheaven can become too personal with their problems or private matters with the public or with others at work, it’s like an emotional spillover. Work takes an emotional toll on them which is why they switch jobs often.

*Saturn in retrograde are a lot more daring and courageous than those with direct, rather than being crushed with challenges and boundaries, these people face them head on, they’re known as rule breakers and hate rules. They suffer with a never ending search for their responsible identity, counterpart, that’s where the karma comes in...

*Virgo moons organize their emotions even in the manifestation of coordinating certain feelings to playlists, activities, they creat mini “routines” that tie into which type of emotion they’re feeling and how they’ll maintain it.

*If you’re a gemini mercury, LET THE OTHER PEOPLE TALK IN THE CONVERSATION PLEASE. y’all talk way too fucking much you forget that like other people need to say smth, it can be a bit agitating for others, like you say what you gotta say and THAT SHOULD BE IT!!

*Even when you have an introverted rising sign, the energy could become extroverted when the chart ruler is in an extroverted sign or public house.

*This works for the opposite matter, extroverted risings ruled by introverted signs and private houses, you get the deal😁😁

*F.e. i have a taurus rising which is an introverted rising sign however it’s ruler is in aquarius in my 10th house, i am VERYYY extroverted and people perceive me as yes a bit nice and calming but they get the sense that i’m loud and bubbly just like an aqua rising! 😍😍

*Cancer mars men try to act hard because they know they’re likely to get hurt by the pettiest shit... like this really goes for the underdeveloped types but y’all... just lighten up.

*Cancer moons really need to get away from people often. Like i know they already do they don’t really tell anyone but sometimes you guys can carry so much emotional weight and moodiness you need to release it into something healthy and productive maybe art and drawing, depending on your person and hobbies, or hobbies in general that are safe and healing for you.

*Capricorns are such a noticeable sign they carry this flare of authority that isn’t really recognized in the stereotypes holy shit y’all. 😳😳😳

*Virgo venuses are so critical over their appearances and just... goodbye. y’all look hot you can stop with the extended essay on why you can’t go in the store with me because you think you look like shit. 😄😄

#aries #cancer #libra #capricorn #taurus #leo #scorpio #aquarius #gemini #virgo #sagittarius #pisces #astro notes #astrology #astrology observations

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the-path-inside · 2 years ago

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🤦‍♂️

I swear I’m an idiot. There’s a thing that I do because of my social anxiety if I’m stressed/annoyed/upset in a conversation. I will type out the absolute worst/dumbest/meanest response, just to sort of relieve the tension in my head, since then it feels like I can’t write anything worse - and then I’ll fix it and change it to something I actually mean/feel.

The way my brain sees it is if I write the sheer worst possible message I could, then any message I do send after editing it can’t be as bad, so it makes me feel way less self conscious.

.. But THREE times since Mercury retrograde begun I’ve gone to edit the first message and hit send instead and sent someone a really fucked up message. Two of those now were with the same person.

And it’s not like I can be all “I didn’t mean that” even though I literally didn’t because how in the fuck do I explain this. so I’m just over here wishing the earth would swallow me up and wondering why I write that shit in the messaging app itself and not in notes 🙃

#Personal #I’m a dumbass

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joon-ipersgirl · 4 years ago

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O7 - “the promising proposition”

genre: mafia!au, angst, fluff, slow burn, mystery-thriller

pairing: namjoon x reader (f)

word count: 5.1k

warnings: cursing (if i miss any, let me know!)

summary: charismatic. beautiful. fearless without question. the ambitious team of seven young men in charge of spiral, downtown district’s hottest new club go above and beyond to provide 100% satisfaction to their clients.

after an eventful night out, you have no choice but to join the team for property damages greater than your intern salary. challenging a series of events that can no longer be left to coincidence, secrets threaten to burst at the seams as your professional and private life collide, and another - more sinister - debt is added to your total.

how far are you willing to go to pay back your pound of flesh? remember, nothing is ever as it seems...

a/n: it’s been a minute but we’re back! winter break is here and i’m determined to write so here’s part 7 as i still work on my tae halloween fic (whew) and some more holiday related scenarios/oneshots. thank you all for being so patient and i hope you enjoy this next part. i only have one more pre-written part for this story so updates may be even slower lol. as always, send your reactions as they make me super happy lmao. thank you vi for beta-reading this and enjoy everyone!

full masterlist // series masterlist // previous // next

The four of you sit in Manager Kim’s office, tense. Well, three as Paul had ruined his chances during last week’s meeting but you know he can feel the heaviness in the air as you wait for Madeline’s decision. She sits comfortably behind her large desk after calling you in to tell you who’d be assisting her on the Cavallero project. Her large, black fedora is propped on her head at a dangerous angle as she has her feet kicked up on her desk, her signature steel toed boots accentuating her full black outfit. You’d spent the previous days in the breakroom trying to figure out what made this project a higher priority than the rest of the contracts you’d acquired and who would be the lucky winner.

“Lovely of you all to join me, though Paul you were not really needed.” He tries his best to hide behind Laura from Manager Kim’s disappointed stare, but to no avail. “I know you all have been eagerly anticipating which one of you lucky interns will have the privilege of working with me on the first part of the Cavallero contract. You’ll find out shortly as his assistant will be dropping off the final notes on what he expects to see at the event; I’ll send one of you down to fetch him. We’ll have a brief meeting afterwards and then get to work. The rest of you will work under that person, following their orders diligently. Now, I need updates on the rest of our projects. Where are we?”

You barely listen as James rattles off what he was able to accomplish with the Emmerson’s engagement party. You think his design is doable, chic for an event planned in spring, but lacking in some of the finer details you know the future Mrs. Emmerson would appreciate; she’s a woman after your own heart with her love for champagne, meals created by chefs with Michelin stars, and exquisite fine china. Of course Madeline would pit you against each other for this job though. Not that you mind, you’re more than capable of fighting for what you believe is mine. It’s just less work when it’s given to you nicely packaged. Like the gifts you’re sure future Mrs. Emmerson would like to receive from her future husband’s wealthy friends.

“Y/N?” You focus back on Manager Kim who’s waiting expectantly, her glasses slipping down her nose. “The Williams’? What’s going on there? Or have you not made any progress?”

“The Williams have signed off on the zoo theme for their son,” James interjets before you can gather your thoughts. “We’re looking into finding the best face painters in the city and we’ve almost secured a catering contract for the 150 vegan cupcakes Mrs. Williams ordered. The invitations are currently being designed based on the chosen theme and will be ready for client approval next week.”

“Very good, James. Please send me a copy of your notes to be added into the file. Y/N, I expect better from you. That’s everything I have for today. You’re all dismissed,” she finishes with a wave of her hand, her glasses sliding down her nose once again as she searches for one particular document on her desk.

You don’t wait for the rest of them to follow as you make your way back to the tiny cubicle-like room you share. Manager Kim normally never calls you out in front of the rest of them and you’re fuming. Tossing down your legal pad, you whirl around as the three of them enter the room.

“What the fuck, James?!” you hiss as he calmly sits behind his desk and resumes typing on his computer.

“Looks like the Princess is upset,” Paul stage-whispers to Laura as he too sits down. You ignore him. He’s just as irrelevant beforehand as he is now.

“What do you need, Y/N? I have to send the notes from the meeting to Manager Kim,” James responds, not looking up at you. Your face further sours.

“You read my fucking files?! That wasn’t your event to handle and you know that!” you yell.

“Well, you took too long to respond -”

“I had barely opened my mouth -”

“- and Manager Kim needed a response, so I responded,” he finishes, ignoring your outburst.

“Y/N, please calm down. We don’t want to make a scene,” Laura pleads.

“Calm down? Laura, he made me look incompetent,” you argue.

“But you are, Y/N.” You pause and turn to James once again. Disbelief is written across your face as you stare each other down. You were the imcompetent one? “You should be ready to answer any question about any event J&M has going on whether it’s your’s or someone else’s. It’s not my fault that you were never taught the basics of efficiency in a company. The job has to get done and I completed the task. Simple,” he finishes. His incessant typing is all you hear as you stare at him. James had never been this bold before. Especially not with you.

“Watch your mouth, James,” you tell him coolly.

“Furthermore, your failure in that meeting shows that you’re incapable of handling bigger projects. I mean, you couldn’t recall the most straightforward details of a birthday party for a six-year-old child. Why should Manager Kim trust you to work on the coveted Cavallero contract? You’ve given her no reason to. All you’ve done is eliminated yourself from the running, effectively leaving Laura and I. Which is no challenge because - no offense Laura - you’re not really competition. I just hope you guys can maange when my hands are full with this project.”

You laugh as Laura cowers. You weren’t sure whether it was from the sound or James’ particularly harsh words, but the atmosphere in the room was much worse than in the meeting. Biting back the words you really wanted to tell him, you heed Laura’s advice and decide to not cause a scene. This is a professional establishment and you need this job. There are goals you want to accomplish and you wouldn’t let a slimy bastard like James Carter distract you. He’d finally shown his true colors - what he really thought of you - and you’re only grateful the others had been around to witness it.

“Alright, James. It seems like you’ve been holding back on us. Just remember: a word once let out of a cage cannot be whistled back again,” you tell him as you resume your duties at your desk. Flipping open a new page of your legal pad, you write neatly at the top: Emmerson Engagement. If James thought he had bested you, he had another thing coming.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Laura asks as she joins you in the staff room for lunch.

“Never better,” you reply, sipping on your iced coffee as you warm your leftover lasagna in the microwave. Gods bless your sweet, sweet roommate.

“What James said to you this morning was pretty harsh,” she says as she makes herself a steaming cup of green tea. Always the health conscious one that girl.

“James seems to be tired of our shit,” you chuckle. “I’ve heard worse though, Laura. Don’t worry about me. He said some pretty harsh things about you, too.”

She nods. “I didn’t think he could be so mean! And counting me out?! I worked really hard on my designs!” Laura’s voice doesn’t sound too sure, but you nod in agreeance.

“Your bridal party design last spring was very well done,” you tell her around a mouthful of lasagna.

“Exactly!” she says in a huff as she plops down across from you, nearly burning herself in the process. “And your event was really good too! The one you did a few months ago,” she trails off. You laugh.

“Which one was that?”

“You know, the one for the family with that really fancy theme? And lots of people came...”

“Oh, the Winter Wonderland scene on the ice rink?”

“Yes, that one!” she exclaims.

“That was Marie’s project before she got transferred to Jenson’s team,” you say with a laugh. Laura almost chokes on her tea as you wipe your mouth clean. “No need for you to try and make me feel better by pretending to remember something I’ve worked on. I’m honestly fine,” you chuckle again.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry -”

“Y/N?” James stands in the doorway looking quite displeased. You raise your eyebrows at him in response. “Manager Kim would like to see you in her office. Please make it quick as I’m going to get Mr. Cavallero’s assistant soon.” You laugh loudly.

“Of course, James. I’ll be sure to let Manager Kim know you’d like her to rush her meeting for your convenience.”

He scowls as you brush past him, your half-eaten lunch and coffee in hand. Mercury must be in retrograde for James to think that he can make demands of you any type of way. It seems that you need to put him back in his place; he’d gotten too comfortable with the little office jokes you all shared. Grabbing your legal pad and pen, you smooth down the little flyaway hairs and your white button down shirt; you couldn’t receive another lashing looking unkempt. Knocking on the door, you wait for Manager Kim to answer before you enter.

“You asked to see me, Manager Kim?”

“Yes. Please take a seat, Y/N. I’ll be with you in a second,” she replies as she finishes typing on her computer. You sit gingerly in the unoccupied chair as you’d done this morning and wait for her to rip into you. “Right. Let’s get to it. What was that this morning?” You inhale deeply.

“Honestly, I was thinking about James’ event and mentally noting changes I would make as possible suggestions to him when you called on me. I wasn’t dozing off because I was bored,” you answer.

“Hmm. And what changes would you have made?” she asks curiously as she gives you her undivided attention.

“Well, the future Mrs. Emmerson is a woman of prestige. Class. While roses are a classic choice, white tulips are pre-on-trend and I think she would enjoy being a part of that group. He also chose the Dom Perignon champagne, but I thought Veuve Clicquot would be the better option. High price doesn’t always mean high flavor. I do agree with his choice of venue though. The high ceilings will look great in the low afternoon light and the white lights in the evening will make for great photos,” I finished. “But of course, the client is always right and if this is her chosen design, we’ll go with that.”

Manager Kim stares at you until you start to feel slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. You know you hadn’t overstepped and she had asked for your honest opinion, but when sitting in front of one of the best event designers in the game, second guessing yourself is inevitable.

“You didn’t think to say anything earlier in the meeting?” she asks.

“I wasn’t aware that giving opinions on other people’s events was ideal during a regular updates meeting.”

“You should speak up more. Your ideas aren’t as bad as you think they are,” Madeline says as she leans back in her chair. “How else do you expect to lead any major project?”

Just as you’re going to respond, a knock sounds at the door. “Come in!” Manager Kim yells.

“Should I leave? James did say he was going to collect Mr. Cavallero’s assistant,” you trail off, getting ready to stand.

“No. No, you’re fine,” she says with a wave of her hand. “Ah, Mr. Carlisle - oh! And Mr. Cavallero! What a surprise! I didn’t know you would be joining us,” Manager Kim says as she stands and you follow suit.

“I happened to have some free time and decided to tag along as Lewis was dropping off the notes. I hope you don’t mind. I thought it would be helpful to have me here in case you had any questions that needed direct attention,” Mr. Cavallero responds. “And please, call me Jonas.”

Mr. Cavallero, or Jonas as he would like to be referred to, is dressed in his typical big spender suit: a deep navy blue suit with a pristine white buttoned-down shirt and pre-released Versace patent leather monk strap shoes. His aura fills the entire space, though he only stands in the doorway of Madeline’s office. You can practically feel the gel between your fingers as you look at his salt-and-pepper slicked back hair; the sheen is almost as bright as his shoes.

“And Miss Y/L/N, yes? What a pleasure to see you again. Will you be sitting in on this meeting as well? Lewis could only sing your praises after you left,” he asks. You struggle to keep your face neutral as James’ searing gaze washes over you. You know Manager Kim’s ears must be red as her secretive meeting is foiled by her best client.

“Actually, I was just -”

“- going to bring the file for the event as you were previously suggesting. Right, Y/N?” Manager Kim says as she turns to you with a stiff smile. “You are our chosen intern, afterall.” You can barely contain your gasp as she says the words. You had gotten the contract?! James does not try to hide his shock at her statement as his eyes widen and his mouth nearly falls open.

“It’ll be a pleasure working with you again, Miss Y/L/N,” Mr. Carlisle says with a smile.

“Of course,” you reply with a deep head nod. “I look forward to working with you both as well. I’ll be back with your file shortly.”

“Thank you, Y/N. And thank you James for going to get them. You may leave now,” Manager Kim adds as she turns her attention back to her guests, inviting them to sit and make themselves comfortable.

You walk calmly, though you feel anything but that, across the room as James holds the door open for you. Pleading with the gods to be on your side, you race ahead of him to the breakroom for fresh, new bottles of water - a sight to see in a knee length pencil skirt and the infamous 4-inch stilettos that are apparently still required in this day and age. Your office is filled with hushed whispers until you round the corner and enter the small room.

“You got the Cavallero project?!” Paul exclaims. “Holy shit! You’re better than I thought, Y/N!” You laugh as you search your desk for the copy of the previous plans you’d developed from that day’s secret meeting.

“Congratulations, Y/N!” Laura cheers, bouncing up and down. “Your first real major project. Isn’t that exciting, James?”

“Sure. If you can be happy for someone who fucked her way to get the position,” he says biterrly. “Lewis could only sing your praises after you left?” James scoffs. “Sounds like you worked really hard in that meeting.”

“James!” Laura gasps.

“Oh it’s fine, Laura. If you think that James, I can’t stop you,” you say with a shrug. “But I’ll be happy to discuss my scandalous sex life with you after I meet with our coveted client.”

You prance out of the office with a smug smile on your face. Of course James would resort to a low blow because he didn’t get what he wanted; he was worse than the six-year-old child he had reprimanded you about. Tucking the fake file under your arm as the real one is still in Madeline’s office, you carry the bottles of water back to the meeting. After passing the bottles to your clients, you stand diligently behind Manager Kim with your notepad at the ready.

“Please Miss Y/L/N, take my seat,” Jonas says, standing.

“Oh no, I couldn’t.”

“I insist. I do my best thinking standing up.”

“He does this often in his office,” Lewis agrees. Glancing at Manager Kim, you gingerly sit down on the end of the chair after thanking Jonas again.

“You had mentioned that you enjoyed the designs Y/N had developed, but as you know these are drafts and can be changed as you deem fit, Mr. Cavallero. Are there any things that come to mind or can we work on finalizing these details?” Madeline asks. You watch as Jonas strides around the office, seemingly in thought.

“You proposed hosting the event at one of the upscale hotels downtown, but I was wondering if you had any other options. We want the environment to feel lavish, but not over the top,” he replies. “I was actually thinking of something -” he pauses “ - more intimate.”

Writing down his wishes, you rack your brain for places that fit his description. Most clients of his caliber wanted something extravagant, but Jonas was proving to be a very different man. Quite the surprise that you were not expecting. “Would you like something with more modern architecture or classical?” you ask.

“I have always been a fan of French architecture; the European style also seems to be popular among our own clients. Most of them come from European backgrounds,” Jonas answers.

“They might find the interior design reminiscent,” Madeline thinks aloud and jots it down.

“It could be very good for signing contracts, sir,” Lewis adds.

“I may have a suggestion. Chateau’s is a little outside of the city, but the view is magnificent. It’s family owned so that may benefit you with your clients as well. It also has a rooftop that would look great in the afternoon sun as well as the late evening should the event last longer than expected,” you suggest. “I’ve also read great reviews saying that the food is well prepared too.”

“This could lower your costs for your first event and more money can be reserved for the benefit gala you’re also organizing,” Madeline sneaks in. She’s right, of course. A benefit gala planned by Madeline Kim would require much more than what Mr. Cavallero had said he was okay with spending, but he didn’t need to know that right now.

“Hmm,” he ponders turning around. “This sounds doable. I’d like to see what you can come up with for designs for this new place as well as scheduling a visit to see it for myself. All of this can be done before the initial deadline of securing a venue, yes?”

“Absolutely,” Madeline responds and you keep your composure as you review your mental calendar of events knowing this would be difficult to pull off. Brunch is scheduled a month and a half from today’s date meaning you had to somehow convince Chateau’s to take on your client, create an acceptable menu, and allow you to make any decorating changes within two weeks to make the deadline. Madeline is batshit crazy, but it would have to get done to secure the benefit gala - the whole reason for the company even accepting this contract.

“I can have all the details typed and sent to you within the next week. I’ll also keep the downtown hotel as an option if Chateau's is unavailable for your intended date. I’m sure we can use the rooftop of a hotel to create an intimate setting that your guests would enjoy,” you add. “I would also like to request the location of the benefit gala. I understand this is a very important event for your law firm and I would like to begin drafting plans for your approval at the earliest convenience.”

“Yes, of course. We use the Finca Corte as they have the best grand ballroom in the city. Lewis, please send Miss Y/L/N the past itineraries of the event so she may have a better understanding of the atmosphere we wish to create for our guests.” Lewis nods and makes his own notes, before his wrist watch alarms.

“Ah, Mr. Cavallero. Your 4pm meeting is on time this afternoon. We should leave now so you aren’t late,” Lewis warns. Jonas nods and you all stood to say your goodbyes.

“Please, if you need anything, reach out to Lewis and he’ll get in contact with me so I can answer any of your questions,” Jonas says with a smile as he shakes your hands.

“Of course, Mr. Cavallero. Please feel free to do the same,” Madeline replies though you can hear the tightness in her voice and for the third time, you wonder what her relationship is with Jonas. They had to have had some history for her to always seem on edge in his presence.

“Let me walk you both downstairs,” you offer. J&M isn’t as large as Hastings and Lewis, but there are many twists and turns on each floor that guests could get lost in.

You don’t turn your head as you pass your tiny office space and head for the elevator. You wouldn’t give any of those fuckers your attention in the presence of high quality clientele. It’s cramped inside but not uncomfortable as you ride down from the fourth floor. Jonas turns to you once again as you stand in the lobby.

“Again Miss Y/L/N, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. Lewis would be happy to answer any of your questions if you can’t get in contact with me,” he says and hands you his business card.

“I actually did have one question before you go. Well two actually. Finca Corte - it isn’t a chain, is it? Just one location?”

“Right. On 17th and Main near the Grande Theatre, but the next block over,” Jonas replies.

“And there’s no need to call and reserve the date? The notes Lewis had given us hadn’t mentioned anything about the date or a deposit,” you state.

“No, the firm takes care of those details. The benefit gala is always reserved for the third Saturday in May every year,” Lewis responds. Three months from now, you think.

“Oh, wonderful. I know you have to get going so I’ll email you any other questions, Lewis. Thank you again. Please return to the firm safely,” you say cheerly and wave. They return it and you wait for them to get into their sleek town car before you let your face fall into a frown. You’d never been to or heard of Finca Corte before, but why did the location seem so familiar? You try not to dwell on it too much as you head back upstairs. There are more pressing matters at hand, like putting James back into the roach-infested place he’d crawled out of. You grin as you head off the elevator.

Rosalia greets you as you enter the old two-bedroom apartment you share. Slipping off your heels that you’re sure has blood crusted into the toes from excessive wear, you scratch behind her ears as she purrs. She’s one of the better things to happen to you in your life and you’re grateful for her little pieces of affection even though you’re positive she had made some attempts to smother you in your sleep so she could have your bed.

“You’re home?” Amaya calls out from her hidden position on the couch.

“Yeah! Did you make dinner?” you ask as you follow your nose to the kitchen where a large pot stews on the stove.

“Of course I did. We all know you’d starve if I didn’t cook,” she says as she bumps you out of the way to check on the food. You mock her as you sit down at the antique metal table that you rarely ate at, choosing to have your meals in the much more comfortable living room on the sofa.

“I could survive!” you yell, trying to defend yourself, but Amaya isn’t having it.

“You couldn’t. Was the lasagna okay today, though?” she asks, changing the subject.

“The best. You should really consider opening a restaurant and forgetting all this computer engineer stuff,” you tell her seriously.

“Ha! As if that would pay off these loans. Either way, this is an investment. Once I’m done with this degree, I’ll be able to program computers to make these dishes for me and rake in a ton of money to get us out of this place,” she says with determination.

Amaya is a third year computer engineering student at Oberman University. Surprisingly smaller than you, she carries as much kick as you do, the two of you getting into numerous instances of mild misdemeanors. Amaya had actually hacked a few systems after she had found out that you weren’t really registered for classes at the University so you could get some credit; she’s a computer genius. Thanks to her, you technically have an Associates degree, but of course Oberman would never grant it to you unless you actually re-enroll. Amaya doesn’t take anyone’s shit though she looks like she’s 12 with her big green eyes and short blunt bob, the bangs a little too long and falling into her eyes.

“Thank you for including me in your plans for world domination, Aya,” you say while taking your hair out of your bun.

“Of course. You know you’re family to me, even though you leave your fucking dishes in the sink,” she replies while placing a piping bowl of beef stew and white rice in front of you. You thank the gods for her as you tuck in, burning your tongue in the process.

“I love you. So, so, so much.”

“Are you talking to me or the stew?” she asks with a laugh as she blows her food to cool it down. You laugh in response. “How was work? Oh my gosh, did you get the project?!”

You grin and nod. “I did!” She squeals in delight and claps her hands. “Though James was extremely displeased. He actually called me incompetent -”

“Hold on. He called you incompetent? Has he seen his progress report? And wasn’t he the one that forgot to submit his file that made that whole project you did a few months ago late?”

“Right. He was so shocked when Madeline announced it was me, even insinuated that I fucked my way to get the position. Kim was heated that Jonas mentioned our meeting while he was in the room though because it was supposed to be a secret,” you explain.

“Of course he would say something like that.” She rolls her eyes. “There seem to be a lot of secrets happening around you. Speaking of which, when do you head back to Spiral to snoop?” Amaya asks. “Do you think you can find anything in the hallway? Maybe you should break into Suga’s office or something,” she suggests.

“Friday night and I don’t think Suga would leave anything lying around like that for me to see again, not after I’m pretty sure he caught me reading his papers a few weeks ago,” you reply, pushing the rice around the plate. That had been extremely careless and might have killed a lead to your mini investigation before it had even begun.

“The one with all that information right? Gosh, I wish you had my photographic brain, that way you could have written down what you had seen and we could solve this whole mystery,” she groans.

“Oh no, Aya. I don’t want you getting involved with this. It seems way too dangerous and you -”

“- have my whole life ahead of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. But I want to know where this guy went. Like what if he’s still out there and looking for you?” she questions.

“I know, I know. I don’t want you worrying about it though. I can handle it,” you promise. “I feel like I’ve seen the address before though, but I can’t figure out where.” You rub your forehead as if you could magically make the numbers appear in your mind again. Aya’s photographic memory really would have come in handy.

“What about the date?” Amaya asks. “Or the name? You said the name was weird, unusual.” You nod. What had it said?

“There was a date, a location, and a name with an amount of money. Like a contract or something,” you sigh. “It looked really similar to the ones we have at work. Fuck. I don’t know. Between this and planning the benefit gala, my brain feels like it’s going to explode.” Amaya laughs as she finishes her dinner.

“Please don’t hurt yourself. It’ll come to you,” she says, giving your shoulder a squeeze. “Well, I have Calc 3 homework to finish and these theorems won’t do themselves so I’ll see you in the morning. Wash your fucking plate,” she finishes and pointes her finger at you. You hold up your hands in surrender as she leaves hers in the sink for you to clean. It’s the least you can do as she made all your meals.

Grabbing your purse and lugging it behind you after washing the dishes, you head to your room, Rosalia following in tow. Surprisingly, your bed is still intact which means that Amaya had made sure Rosalia hadn’t gotten into your room. Bless her. Not that there was much to get into as you the minimum possessions a person could have: a bed, a few photos, and enough clothes to last you a few weeks without doing laundry. You place your files and notepads onto your bed, eager to go and take a shower before organizing your notes in preparation for the debrief you would no doubt have to give to the rest of your colleagues tomorrow.

“Was your day as long as mine, Rosalia?” You scratch her head as she hops up on your bed and makes herself at home between your papers, a few of them scattering to the floor. “Apparently not as you want to make mine even longer,” you murmur as you bend to pick up the loose sheets of today’s meeting notes from the Cavallero project. You pause.

Jonas. That was the name that was on top of the paper in Suga’s office. What would be the odds that the Jonas on the paper would be the Jonas Cavallero you were working for? If that Jonas was the same Jonas, then was the location on the paper one of the events you were working on? How would Suga have that information? You sit against the side of your bed. Unless -

Yanking your phone out your purse’s side pocket, you google “Hastings & Lewis benefit gala”. Just as you’d suspected, the information is public knowledge: the third Saturday of May at the Finca Corte. There is no way in hell that Spiral is catering that event; they weren’t ritzy enough to be hired by the likes of one of the most expensive hotels in the city for one of the biggest events on the city’s calendar. Something is going on and you just know all of this is connected somehow. You just need proof. Maybe Maya is right. You’d broken into a few places before. How hard could it be to get into Suga’s office?

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