#two years apparently? damn
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Alice (SMT/Persona) stimboard!
x x x x x x x x x
#persona series#shin megami tensei#alice smt#alice persona#stimboard#stim#blue#black#white#red#teddy bear#fire#cards#tv#novi's boards#guess who forgot this blog existed for uhhh#two years apparently? damn#anyways I'm a persona fan now#little murder child Alice my beloved <3
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Every morning Dad got up early and made breakfast for her. If it was the dead of winter he pulled Mom’s car up to the front of the house, cleared off the snow, and turned on the heater for her. Every night after work Dad had a cocktail with Mom and they chatted about the events of the day. We went to family gatherings, where Dad was always well liked and lively. He was a great dad—very loving and attentive. He doted on my mother and was very much in love with her. I never heard him use profanity or witnessed him losing his temper. He never raised a hand to us kids when we didn’t deserve it—and there were plenty of times we did deserve it and didn’t get it.
~ Michael Sobel (Sobel's son)
#We Who Are Alive and Remain: Untold Stories from the Band of Brothers#band of brothers#herbert sobel#two things: first of all i am always so baffled that apparently it's not perfectly obvious/#/perfectly shown in the show that sobel made easy company into what it became. this tightknit more closer than brothers unit#to me the 'sobel got short-end of a stick' and wasn't portrayed how he was complaining has always seemed ludicrous#secondly: everything sobel's family said and complained about - i am kind of side-eyeing#sorry but sobel was for years in VA assisted-living facility. michael himself said that the living conditions there were horrible#yet none of them did anything to move him somewhere better? to be there more often so that they would have known when he died and be there#when he was cremated?#sounds to me that the fuss they made about how sobel was portrayed in the show/book was perhaps to do with their own guilt#anyway. may sobel rest in peace and we all know he is one the greater reasons why the easy company was so damn magnificent
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yknow what. might as well put em all here! >:]
most art pre Viddy Game Hyperfixations was for dA groups! which meant mostly warrior cats until ~2016 and then mostly evolving species groups after that
#damn almost 10 years of this now..#there is still a lot of old art that i really enjoy#like. ngl that tiger from sep '15 still rules#but also a bunch of stuff that isnt on here#also surprisingly it's not even *that* apparent just how big the dragon age brainrot has been fjsdflsdjfklg#like. there are more poe pieces on this year's summary than dragon age pieces on any previous one lmaoo#i can absolutely see though that 2016 was a warriors year; 17 my wyngro year; and 18-20 my whistler crest years haha#was gonna say surprisingly little kh on any of these but then again they were mostly doodles and not finished pieces#and i was still pretty self conscious abt drawing humans at that time#but. yea! lil art throwback :]#my art#in retrospect it does annoy me a little that i used a round format for two years jfsdklfjlsjfkls#(btw ignore that it says 2012 summary; that's 2017 i just forgot to edit the year)#and hm. maybe i should go back and make some for earlier years too.....#might be hard though bc it's gonna be a lot harder to find out the exact date for things
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Looking at my irl bestie's whole profile and seeing eras of my life instead
#was it during the time span of two years?#YES#wait#two years?#i thought i had installed tumblr two years ago#but apparently it was three ;-;#damn T-T#anyways#MY OLD URLS#“@jacksonsdiaryaddicted”#“@heatherdukebutmeaner”#i don't even remember what was my initial url here (my friend wasn't on tumblr when i first joined)#like... cool??? i gues???#but @a-fucking-tornado is too iconic#i might change it one day#but not today#so anyways#love you bro <<3
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Literally can't pay my rent until I get paid for September, which hasn't happened yet. Today is Friday, and Monday is the last day of the month. I'm so tired of being poor.
#i still cringe to call myself 'poor' bc i have my own apartment and can afford groceries#and even fun stuff like museums and cafe visits and public transport sometimes#but the reality of the matter is that after i pay off my student loans every month#i do not have enough money left to pay the following month's rent#and that's the way it's been my whole life#all my groceries and museum visits and coffee come from those few hundred euros left over#my whole life i've been choosing between 'having savings' and 'having even the smallest most humble life' and obviously i choose the latter#i never go to the movies#i buy all my clothes second hand (got some this past month after not having bought any new clothing in almost two years)#i have visited a museum TWICE this year#i go to restaurants like... once a month max#i am living the most frugal life that i possibly can without denying myself all pleasures#i don't even have netflix or anything like that! i only very rarely order delivery! i cook my own damn meals!#you get the picture#and yet still: one single missed paycheck is enough to potentially fuck up my life seriously#i've never missed a rent payment in my life but i'm scared it may happen this time#just wrote to HR of my former employer (who is supposed to still be paying me through october) to politely ask where my paycheck is#it's probably coming today (i sure as hell hope so) but if it doesn't... i legit don't know how i'm going to pay my rent#my rent is 673 euros and i only have 400 in my bank account#i probably have enough food in my pantry to survive for a month if i had to#but i've never missed rent in germany before (or ever) and i have no idea how long they'd wait before evicting me for non-payment#i'm scared. and i'm tired of being apparently the only fucking person in my social groups who is this poor#i am an over-educated 37-year-old professional who typically gets classed with the 'expats'#but one missed salary payment has me thinking about eviction and affording groceries#this is what i mean when i say i'm an immigrant. not an expat.#those people with their apple watches and co-working spaces and spontaneous trips to thailand or brazil are... a world apart from me#how come everyone i meet is so damn rich? where do i find fellow poor friends?#anyway i'm stressed. and i'm so so tired of spending my mental energy worrying about money#cosmo gyres#personal
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me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
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Was someone going to tell me that Barry Keoghan and Sabrina Carpenter are dating, or did i have to find it out from a YT short???
#damn that's two degrees of separation between him and Joshua Bassett#also apparently people online are comparing it to college students dating hsers which is a WILD thing to say#about the relationship between a 24 year old and a 31 year old#anyways get it girl get it for me#sabrina carpenter#barry keoghan
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do people not understand what the fuck the point of a cliffhanger is anymore
#i wouldn't say it's as well done in s2 of squid game but it's not exactly like a part 1 of a season IMO like i see so many people saying#we already knew there was gonna be two more seasons (or idk apparently no one reads or looks things up anymore) so like.#the story is not gonna be a fucking shot for shot repeat of season 1#sorry y'all just don't want to comprehend the show you're watching and get mad at a literary device bc you don't want to wait until next#year for the final season#this one took like three years you can wait a little more#rewatch the damn thing again maybe then you'll understand what's going on#personal.txt#i'm so pissed off lately sorry. the bullshit discourse going on with nosferatu rn is also irking me#when things go mainstream you get people who want everything spoonfed to them and even when it is they'll start#whining about how they didn't want the vegetables and everything they just wanted dessert
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rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses
#every time i rewatch an episode the points where it couldve been better poke me in the eye#maybe probably the exact same thing would happen with any other thing i would get this obsessed about#you stare at something long enough its flaws will become ever more apparent#you love something enough everything it could have been but IS NOT becomes ever more painful#i watched 13x5 tonight.........honestly what the fuck goes on#no these were my responses now 3 years and probably a dozen rewatches in:#1) what the fuck goes on#2) philosophically stilll utterly unintelligible to me i might be stupid#swarm and azures whole thing. like. everything they say about their Schemes is completely......incoherent. i dont understand it.am i stupid#3) feels like most agents in these plots are just doing busywork. but might be my inability to understand plot again#but like diane?? who is she what is she why is she#4) 13s message to yaz 'flux destroys universe so refugees coming take over earth your task' is.....like.....profoundly......wtf#and seemingly easily fixable: flux destroys universe refugees come to earth find a way to welcome them#get unit involved THAT way. right?#unit as the liaison between humanity and alienity. rebrand#but maybe that doesnt work with the snakeman plot idfk im stupid with plot#5) scenes between 13 and tecteun couldve been so much more. mastervoice: i have Notes. first and least: tecteun shouldve called her Child#damn now i want to do 13 era rewrite again#i really should do that one day i think it would be good for my skills#turn it into a good oldfashioned 13 ep series. still one story tho. but to deepen everything out a bit more#actually getting into all the stuff thats only sort of Touched upon#making swarm and azure not only make sense but also emotionally important and if possible even lore-wise interesting#more abt the division past. doesnt need to be shown in detail if the absence is the point. that doesnt mean there cant be more absence#swarm&azure lore + division lore + vinder&bel lore in separate pieces starting to show a horrible puzzle when put together#yaz and dan in 1900s for 3 full eps or so. time to breathe. more yaz&13 stuff. a lot more 13&yaz stuff#i think that might actually be the heart of it. maybe it should be the heart of it#leaning into that 13-tecteun parallel. the frustration and resentment. build up to the 'so why are you SO interested in him!' stuff#more of their life in the tardis just the two of them without buffer#i kinda want to play with like a lot more body language between them which the camera doesnt allow as we have it#like zoom the fuck out pls
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I only watched the first four episodes of season four and have only the vaguest notion of what happens in the rest of it. And I've been told that I misread what was going on and that that's not where the plot was going. But.
I cannot get over the wasted potential of not having Vecna's Curse target, specifically, people who feel guilt over being responsible for another person's death. (Even though they're not, actually, responsible.)
Like. Apparently what was going on with Chrissy was an eating disorder. I misread the coding on that hard in the early episodes, and thought that she'd recently been to Chicago to see Jane. And if she had...apparently Jason was also super religious? If Chrissy had had an abortion, because they'd been having sex, then that makes a whole thematic reinforcement to his hypocrisy and whatever half-baked point the show sort of made gestures at making about the Satanic Panic.
Then there's Fred and his friend. Whatsisface in Pennhurst, the older Creel, and the baby in the house he ordered the bombing on. Max and Billy. Nancy and Barb. (Hell, Steve and Barb if you really want to play to your audience.) You could even use that to tie in the adults' storyline - we haven't heard about Hopper's guilt over Sara in a minute!
And all of that would dovetail nicely into motive. Because apparently "Vecna" is, in fact, Henry Creel, is in fact Experiment 001? Who [something something something] psychic powers [something something] horrific child abuse [something something something] massacre at the Hawkins lab [something something] Always Chaotic Axe-Crazy?
But it would make so much sense for a child who'd been ripped from his family, survived awful mistreatment in the name of the greater good, and been witness to the deaths of other kids just like him due to the actions of people who didn't seem to care, who didn't seem to see it as their fault, to be lashing out at anybody he perceived to be like those people.
It would have made sense. It would have been a reason. It would have drawn a throughline from the Big Bad's motivation through to Our Heroes and their actions. It would have given them so much room to work with consequences of the earlier seasons coming back to bite Our Heroes, and could have gone in some really good directions about exploring survivor's guilt and whether these characters really were responsible for any of the deaths they take as their responsibility. And also about institutional hurt and how sometimes, people who have no other option and no way to reach the people who actually hurt them will just aim their pain at anyone in reach, anyone who looks enough like the person who hurt them if you squint and hold your tongue just right, and how, to make actual change against the systems that hurt people, we all need to keep in mind who the real enemy is. It could have been so good.
#stranger things#i have been working on former heroes and I have. thoughts.#but for any of that to have happened the duffers would need to a) give half a damn about characterisation#and b) stop believing the only categories of person in the world are 'bully' and 'victim'#and that the only way to stop being one is to become the other#i am also still frothing at the mouth about the fact that they apparently. made the Big Bad's weakness music.#put in a new character who is LEAD GUITARIST in a BAND#put him into MOST OF THE EPISODES in an IMPORTANT PLOT-RELEVANT ROLE#and then NEVER. HAD. HIM HAVE TO PLAY SOMEBODY'S SONG. ON THE GUITAR. TO SAVE THEM FROM THE BIG BAD.#WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY *DOING* FOR THOSE TWO YEARS OF MANDATORY SHUTDOWN#BECAUSE IT WASN'T 'SCRIPT REVISION' LIKE THEY CLAIMED#how did fucking SUPERNATURAL handle this better!??!?!?#okay. i'm okay. i'm good.
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no more suffering??????🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 please please please aaaAAaaaaaaaaaa
#so bighit ceo changed? and it’s that woman from t&d team#and i didn’t know her until that one hybe video and after watching the video i was grateful to her because#soobie & namu were also grateful to her🥺 and namu said that she was the one of two ‘guardian angels’ who kept jimin in the group#so i was really grateful to her for that as well#and apparently she was in bighit from the very veryyyy beginning... like when bighit used to have 10 employees. she was one of them#she was there during both bangtan&tubatu’s whole training period. she did support them a lot🥺#and in that one video i remember soobin said he was really grateful to her and he even cried while saying goodbye to her & t&d team🥺#i remember namu also saying good things to her🥺 i don’t know but i assume she is a good person#and the fact that she is one of few people that knows the boys very well since she worked closely with them from the very beginning#and she witnessed their whole growth and journey and all...#i just really hope this marks a great beginning for both of the groups and everything will be better than before#idk after seeing whole 2 years my tubatu never getting the treatment they deserve from that damn company; seeing someone like her becoming#the new ceo gave me a huge hope for better future for them🥺#just.. i just want to see my tubatu being healthyandhappyand together and doing what they love with the great support and care they deserve#pleasepleasetreatthembetterastheydeserve#we’ll see how it goes but i have good feelings and i hope they come true#tu’s moa diaries (tu’batu wari wari) 🌟#no but i was just sulking around and i saw this and my mood immediately changed and lightened up lol#all it takes to make me smile is a good news from tubatu. well this isn't completely good news. news-that-carries-good-possibilities?
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ooh was reading up on that disney case and someone said that the company is stalling for time to rack up lawyer costs so the plaintiff ends up dropping the case which sounds like something theyd do
#apparently sisney itself was like were saying this bc the case should be filed against the restaurant and not disney itself which is somethi#something reasonable that could be argued for and against#but if thats the case just say that?? dont say they cant sue you because they fucking bought tickets and a d+ subscription from you years be#before? thats not how literally any of that works the fuck#bc you bought something and agreed to our terms which included between two different hyperlinks that u waive your right to sue you cant sue#us for this that happened several years after you bought the thing#ghoulish behavior honestly#if didney truly wouldnt be found at fault for the wrongful death or if the lawyers thought they had a fair chance st arguing for that to get#get out of being sued theyd say that from the beginning i feel#but since they went for this crazy ass left hook instead im inclined to believe theyre just draeing things out bc they ARE at fault and they#they know it#god#there are many reasons why i decided law wasnt for me but god damn is this one of them#like i get that lawyers dont necessarily have to agree theyre just being paid to represent someone elses wishes#but fuck if this kind of shit pisses me off#im not sure how determining who is at fault would work bc like#you would think its the restaurant itself for not having safe food handling practices#im not sure abt criminal case idk if u could say they were guilty i dont know enough abt law but in a civil case i think u have a fair chanc#chance at saying the restaurant is at fault#but it was on disney property? so i guess disney would be at fault? idk how this works but that seems wrong to me? unless you say that becau#because disney allowed them to operate their and didnt make proper sure they followed protocol? idk im not a lawyer that part confuses me#but thats not the issue at hand apparently#we need to erase disney feom existence right this second#michi tag
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why are they laughing at him as he gets straight up killed??? he doesn't deserve this! he's a sweet kid at heart! he literally just needs one (1) real friend!!
#jack facts#willow and xander and tara all got that exact type of chance and you could argue the same is true for cordelia and anya!#and why don't we just not even start in on angel#like jonathan went from attempted suicide to so grateful for one moment of attention he created a whole award to give about it#to IN ONE YEAR becoming so powerful a witch he seamlessly altered the perception of the entire population of the world#without any adverse effects to himself and only the one (1) flaw that is inherent to the spell he used#to all but instantly giving up that power when he realized it posed danger (that he understood) to people#to feeling genuine remorse for doing that even tho he needed it explained to him why they were so upset#and making every apparent effort to learn that with humility and offer whatever wisdom he could in return#to... this.#like why tf didn't anybody say hey man are you doing alright after being suicidal?#hey man the spell you did was wrong but that doesn't mean you can't do magic anymore why don't we meet up sometimes and study together#or better yet he could have mcfuckin joined the coven god damn#like they went from witch being a relatively gender neutral combo of innate talent and learned skill in early seasons#to now we're supposed to forget the boy willow and amy did spells with in hs + the fact that giles himself was in an all male coven#and even believe that only Special Girls like willow and tara can do any significant amount of real magic at all#why on earth is willow the biggest witch of ever and started out floating pencils and then having a whole plotline#about learning to use her power ethically and control herself and practice temperance and etc#AND anya gets to be a good guy even though she has to be taught about ethics and consent and compassion and all that too#but jonathan's thing is being soul crushingly lonely and having no self esteem but being incredibly sweet once given the time of day#and is instead relegated to two bit loser villain?#why because he's the Actually Uncool type of unpopular instead of the Too Smart And Nice To Be Popular type of unpopular?#makes me sick he literally just needs a friend. just one genuine friend who cares about him personally. that's all.#and it's not like they're doing a ''this is what happens to vulnerable kids when no one cares about them!'' thing which would be different#no they're just like lol he's unpopular like our protags but he's also short with a nasally voice! which means he's bad!#once again i swearrrrr i'm not doing armchair psych on a creator based on the content of their work#please i swearrrrrrrrrrrr i'm not doing that i prommy i know it doesn't work that wayyy i knowwwww#don't worry about ittt i'm so totally definitely not doing that at allllll#anyway
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Starting to default more to trying to figure out what these sentences are on my own and not have to rely on the machine translator quite so much to check my work. Feels good!
Now if I could start remembering what some of these characters are that I've seen and written out and looked up a billion times by now are, that would be phenomenal
#adventures in japanese#you can't just brute force your way through a language and expect to get it in a day I guess#but damn if you can't bludgeon your way to making more progress in the last two months than you've gotten in the last eight years#apparently you just need something to be Very Normal(tm) about who knew lol
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shaking my fucking cage my grad school app is due friday and the only thing preventing me from submitting it is that everyone i ask for a letter of rec is taking their sweet fucking time
#asked three profs back in the FIRST WEEK OF JANUARY#and only one has submitted#so i asked two of my supervisors from my other job#but apparently they might not be 'permitted' to write letters of rec for employees anymore#WJATEVER THAT MEANS !!!!#so now im boutta go crawling back to my intenrship supervisor from a whole year ago#like hi bestie my internship had nothing to do with what im going to grad school for or what my current job is#but like. im out of options#also sorry i havent talked to you since i graduated. can you wrtie me a whole letter of rec in . checks my calendar. three days#AUGH#AND EVEN THEN I STILL NEED ONE MORE ?!?!?!?#im literaly about to ask my fucking michaels framing manager at this fucking point#these god damn professors im like HI. HELLO. ARE YOU ALIVE?#and its just RADIO SILENCE#like BRO. you told me you would a month ago and now when im like hey. whats going on. you just ghost me?!??!?!#at least tell me hey i actually dont have the time to do it anymore so sorry#like its the fact i have no fucking idea whats going on with these people#and my other job supervisors are totally willing to write these letters for me its just the fucking corporate higher ups#like hi. its not like i need a letter of rec for another job. im applying to an educational program#and one that will actively make me better at this very job#why the fuck would you not permit my supervisors to help me pursue this when it only possibly benefits liteally everyone involved here#brot posts
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#omggg#only srs ex 4+ years#moon cap conj my sag saturn/uranus 8th#the other is my husband#10+ years#moon/mars conj the same two things…but sag <2#never saw that#two different signs never would���ve…damn#karma is my boyfriend 🤣#Im kinda nauseous ngl#gotta have that 8th transformative death intensity or no dice…apparently#proof you don’t have to care about charts to live it out#you gonna hit that north node whether you believe or not
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