#two people who are often having two totally different conversations w each other <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[shivunin]

Danse Macabre

For Day 1 for @veilguard-appreciation-week (The Grand Necropolis/Curiosity), here is a fic about Lenore trying to explain the Necropolis to Lucanis:

(Rook Ingellvar/Lucanis Dellamorte | 2134 Words | No warnings)

“Long, long afterward, in an oak I found the arrow, still unbroke; And the song, from beginning to end, I found again in the heart of a friend.” —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “The Arrow and the Song”

The Grand Necropolis, undying, was so thoroughly choked with memories that Lenore almost felt she might pass a younger version of herself inside. 

Walking through its halls to reach the professor had been an exercise in suppressed heartache: here, she had taken the first of her classes with the Mourn Watch after she had been certified as a mortalitasi. Here, she had hidden under the steps and inside sarcophagi as a small child.

Here, she had walked away from the only home she’d ever known for what she’d thought was the last time. 

Was it better that she’d been allowed to come back, she wondered, or would it only mean a greater pain when she walked away again? She did not know. And so, even though it hurt her a great deal, she looked and looked and gathered memories like lost pages of a treasured manuscript. 

When they descended to the Shrouded Halls at last, it was a relief to find herself in a corner of the complex that’d never mattered much to her. Apprentices were not often allowed down here, for it was one of the oldest sections and thus one of the more dangerous. When she’d joined the order in full, her research and duties had taken her elsewhere more often than not. It was, in short, a place that felt like home without bearing the weight of the regret she’d been dragging behind her since they’d crossed the threshold. 

It was…nice, even considering the Despair demons and restless dead. Reminded her of her childhood, in a vague way: creeping through dusty hallways in the flickering green light with a thrill in her chest and a song in her throat. She had almost forgotten what that secret joy had been like. Not even their enemies could rob her of it now. 

“Are you alright?” Lucanis asked as they rounded another corner. 

The professor had hurried on before them, the hem of his coat swinging behind him as he descended the stairs. Lenore slowed slightly and glanced over her shoulder at the assassin. There was a set of stairs before them and she wasn’t keen on the idea of meeting them at a full sprint.

“I don’t think I’ve taken any wounds yet, unless you can see something I can’t. These dead are restless, but I’ve seen them so before. It doesn’t really bother me now.”

“No,” Lucanis said, and sped up slightly so they walked apace. He turned his head to peer down at her, apparently aware of the stairs without needing to look at them. “You’re humming. I have never heard you hum before.”

“Oh!” she said, because she had been humming without noticing it, and stopped so abruptly that she almost slipped down a step.

 Lucanis stopped a step lower than her and turned, brows raised. Their eyes were almost level with each other like this. What an odd thing it was to see him thus, his dark eyes fixed expectantly on hers. Something about the change in perspective is likely why she did what she did next.

“You can’t hear it too?”

“Hear what?”

Sometimes, she forgot that not everybody perceived this place as she did—as Professor Volkarin likely did, too. This had beenLucanis’s first time within the confines of the Necropolis, and it had been clear that he was far from comfortable with it. How could he be? The rest of Thedas had little experience with…well, all of this. 

Rook blinked at Lucanis, momentarily at a loss. Lucanis had not grown up here; he was neither a musician nor a mage. He would have no way of knowing, would he?

“May I take your hands?” she asked impulsively, tugging off one glove, then the next. “It will be easier to show you that way, I think. This will only take a moment.”

She could still see Emmrich below, though he’d slowed slightly. From the gesture he was making, he was likely casting a spell—perhaps attuning himself to the disturbance they sought. Their task was urgent, she knew, but—he had not explained to Lucanis about the bell, about the currents and the eddies of magical energy. Much of the explanation would probably be oblique to one who did not know this place, who did not know magic, but thinking about this particular sort of resonance had been her singular passion for years. 

A brief lesson will not be amiss, she thought. Perhaps it was even something he’ll need to know when we reach the upper levels. 

Lucanis removed his gloves deftly, though there was a question in his eyes. When he held out his hands, she rested her palms under the back of each and lifted them, as if they were cupping the lower sides of a sphere together.

“This won’t hurt,” she told him, “though it may feel a bit odd for you, Spite. Let me know if you’re uncomfortable and I’ll stop.” 

Gently, she reached out for the slow current of magic in the Necropolis and allowed it to fill her palms. She asked nothing of it, called it to no task. Instead, she let it pool there until it became pinpricks of visible light, swirling in the space above their hands. When she had enough, she stopped reaching and held it instead, the soft motes of moss green hovering in the air between them. 

“What is this?” he asked. 

The light reflected in his eyes, now and again glowing purple instead of green. She had to tear her focus away to remember what she was trying to show him. 

“It’s the Necropolis. A little piece of it. I imagine this as its breath, or its blood. I’ve borrowed only a very small bit of it for the moment. Here—close your eyes. Take a deep breath.”

The movement was subtle at first; a minute stirring of the center, as a ripple in a still pond. The rest of the light was shifted by it, stirring like the soft revolutions of hot water meeting cold, and then all at once it was moving. Movements; not physical ones, but those created by a grand orchestra, dancing to a tune that was not sound. She could feel it against her palms as she felt the vibration in her violin when she drew the bow across the strings. It wasn’t music, not really, and yet she’d always felt strongly that it was. 

Rook caught the rhythm at once and hummed along. It was not quite a waltz, but it was also not quite anything else. Lucanis’s eyes remained lightly closed, the dark lashes fine as cobwebs against his cheek. She could not think of another time she’d looked at him so still, so quiet. Here, in this place of memory, he was something new. 

Focus, she reminded herself firmly. You are explaining a measurable phenomenon, not writing poetry.

“If it’s anything,” she said after a moment, her voice quiet, as if speaking louder would disturb the moment, “it’s this: the Necropolis is often called a house of many mansions. A whole of many parts, which are themselves separate and complete entities. I have always imagined it as music. An orchestra has violins, cellos, clarinets, violas, timpani and so on. Individually, they play their own unique and distinct sounds. Together, they make up something greater than the creation of one.”

Lucanis opened his eyes again and looked at her through the light in her hand. After a moment, he focused on the motion between them instead. Rook cleared her throat and went on. 

“All of this is to say that the magic of this place is…many small movements, many independent pieces of magic, which in their motion create a greater whole. Each wisp and spirit and bone contributes to what you see here, and what they make is not unlike music. Unguarded, they can slip from what they ought to be—demons, off-key versions of what already exists here. When we ring the bell, the reverberations will sound along these lines, mix with this existing current, and…let’s say tune everything up. Drive out the dissonant sounds. When it rings again, there will be no space left for Despair to inhabit. The resonance of the song will not allow it.”

She hummed a few more notes, smiling at the light before her, and recalled what they were about. As easily as she’d gathered it, she let the energy go. The magic flowed back into the Necropolis as rainfall into a river. When it was gone, she was left with the warmth of Lucanis’s hands against her palms. She blinked away the afterimages, wishing they hadn’t obscured his expression, and drew her hands away from his. 

“At least, that’s how I understand it. I hope that made any sort of sense outside my head; I’ve never had to explain it before,” Lenore said, realizing abruptly that Lucanis had said nothing for several minutes. 

Gloves; she should put them back on now. She gathered the pair of them from her belt and slid each of them back on again, glancing past Lucanis to where Emmrich waited at the bottom of the steps. He was discussing something with a wisp now, hands gesturing carefully as he explained something to it. They were too far away to catch any of what he said, but she understood the idea anyway. Wisps were good at scouting ahead if one was very specific about what one was looking for. He’d want a glance at whatever came next. 

“I understand,” Lucanis said, and she returned her attention to him. 

When she shifted to the side and started walking again, he matched her pace. 

“I did not think—” he began, then paused. Lenore tucked her newly-shorn hair behind her ears and tried very hard not to look at him. 

“You said that you have not been here for the last year, yes?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. 

Lucanis did not say anything for a moment. Did not, in fact, continue until they’d descended half the stairway. Emmrich glanced up at them as he passed through the doorway to the next room. Hurry, he was likely saying without directly saying so. Lenore grimaced and sped up slightly, careful to keep an eye on the steps. She’d fallen down stairs just like this more than once when Mischief had decided to play a trick. Death was not so serious a consequence to the wisps.

“I did not think I would ever see Treviso again,” Lucanis said abruptly. 

The stair rail was cold and slightly uneven beneath her hand when she gripped it. 

“When I saw it again that first time—I almost wished that I had not. You understand?”

Lucanis saw too much. Talking to him felt, sometimes, like stepping onto a stage and realizing she was the only one standing in front of the audience. She didn’t have to look hard for an answer, though it all but choked her to say it. 

“I understand perfectly,” she said. 

And she did. She, too, had almost wished she had no reason to come back when they’d faced down the gates. Shutting away the hope for home entirely had been a simpler thing than returning to this place and knowing that it was, in a way, still lost to her. 

“I don’t,” he told her, and they sped up after the last step. Emmrich was in sight now, already lifting his staff to fight something out of their view. Lenore drew her own staff and heard the soft snick of steel clearing leather as Lucanis reacted in kind. “But—I am glad you showed me.”

What could she say to that? Perhaps it was fortunate that they lost themselves in the fight that followed. Perhaps it was better that she did not have to find the words. 

Later, rubbing her eyes over a half-written journal entry, it would occur to her that he had done rather the same thing by showing her Cafe Pietra. Lucanis had guided her past the veins of the city to its heart, had bared to her Treviso’s subterfuge and its sweetness. Likewise, she had cupped the beating heart of the Necropolis in her hands and held it up for him to see. 

Lenore did not understand the Crows, neither their sharpness nor their lies. She supposed he did not understand the spirits or the song. 

She wondered then, pen leaking ink in a messy splotch onto her parchment, what all of that could possibly mean. Though she stared unseeing at the fish in her room for a very long time, she did not find anything resembling an answer.

[k1rameki]

AYANA HC POST 🔻

yes im doing these kinda posts again no i dont regret it. i love ayana so much nobody gets it @alex-dontknow waves .. also bit of fair warning i will be talking in depth about stuff like self harm, suicide and mental illness so pls be cautious when reading this ⚠️⚠️

she comes from a rather large family, comprising of both parents, two older siblings (hiiro and amita), an older twin brother (andy) and four younger siblings (they have names i just cant remember them).. she's very close with them all and she loves them to death

LOVES sweets. has a massive sweet tooth and often forgets to eat proper meals because shes busy eating random candies (she's a hypocrite bc she's ALWAYS on tabi's case about not eating enough... smh girl the call is coming from inside the house)

had a lot of trouble with getting into new relationships ever since being with bf. she's the kinda girl who plans her entire life revolving around the people she dates truly believing it'll last and when it doesn't she's a total wreck. ayana is VERY bad at emotional regulation she sees everything in black/white

when aya first started dating dalia, the former appeared more standoffish and was a bit too prepared for the worst to happen, spoiler alert dalia was (and very much still is) head over heels in love and would literally kill for that teeny woman

works like three different jobs.. full time musician, part time pastry chef at a local bakery chain and a teaching assistant at her old high school (her mum works there as a music teacher) so as you can imagine shes very overworked. girly needs to take a break

her favourite pokemon is steenee :3 silly little mangosteen thing

she is in extensive recovery for a self harm addiction. somehow never got put in the ward but went through a LOT of therapy .. its not easy but her loved ones make it manageable

first realised she was trans when she started high school. her twin brother had already came out at that point but she was so worried about potentially being kicked out that it drove her to actually start cutting herself. it even got to a point where she almost ended her life over it (thankfully her dad found her before her pulse was completely gone wails) (she ended up coming out in the hospital and it was super emotional, both her parents and all her siblings were incredibly supportive, especially amita bc she always wanted a little sister to dress up all pretty with)

loves music! shes in a band (s!otr beloveds.. iykyk) and it helped a bit w her debilitating depressive episodes, and even gave her some newfound confidence emm ceeing some gigs :3 she plays the bass btw teehee

incredibly close w the band (thats code for theyre all secretly in love w her somehow and the same is vice versa. this band is secretly one big polycule /silly) :3c somehow has common ground with everybody in one way or the other, even the passive aggressive grump that is tabi /aff /silly

speaking of tabi. those two actually got hella close bc of how bad their exes messed them up, on one instance of seeing boyfriend and girlfriend in public aya straight up kissed tabi in front of them both.. needless to say they had a. rather long and uncomfortable conversation about their secret deep-rooted feelings for each other lol

the (second) most high maintenance person in the world. she and agoti will legit spend hours getting ready together using some fancy ass skincare products whenever the gang decides to do something nice. it pisses the other three AWF

wears hair extensions because she made a routine of cutting her hair regularly to remind herself that she is constantly changing, and in charge of her own life :,3 leaves two little tail strands long bc its cute

master of wearing heels, has legit ran a solid two miles in them once

DOG MAMA!! she has a rottweiler named chewy and a german shepherd named moony who she loves dearly (she had another dog called matzah who ended up passing due to health complications)

before pursuing music, she wanted to be a professional pastry chef or a photographer like her older sister, eventually she ended up teaching herself how to play the bass and the piano, in case neither thing worked out

very affectionate, she's compensating for the lack of affection she got earlier in life /silly

[jerzwriter]

here's just a couple for casey and tobias :)

how many languages do they know?

do they have allergies?

who would they quote?

do they wear jewelry?

do they speak a certain way? do they use contractions? popular turns of phrase?

asdfdfdj!!! Just a few. Of course, you KNOW I hate delving into them so this is SO HARD lol. Let's see what we got.

From this list

How many languages do they know?

Outside of English, Casey is also nearly fluent in Spanish, nearly because she does struggle with writing, but she can hold a conversation and utilize it for work without issue. She has a little knowledge of Portuguese, but it's not that great. She's wanted to learn more, but she doesn't do well with learning here. So 2 1/3 for her. lol

Tobias went to that fancy prep school, so I imagine he graduated speaking English, Spanish, and French quite well. He still knows all three, but French is his weakest as he doesn't use it as much. Ofc, when he was still single, I can totally see his ass taking dates to French restaurants to show off. Prob still does w/ Casey, but she just rolls her eyes. lol So, 3 for T.

Do they have allergies?

Casey is allergic to bees and highly sensitive to most bug bites. While it's not an allergy, she is sensitive to certain fragrances, and they will give her a migraine if she's exposed too long. This gets worse after she gives birth to her first child, Samantha.

Tobias, outside of seasonal allergies, he's good!

Who would they quote?

One person they both quote frequently (and they found very surprising about the other early on in their relationship) is James Baldwin. I imagine they were on a date, and one quoted him, and the other was like, "Wow... really... you?" and it certainly put their stock up in each other's eyes.

For Casey, most would come from activists she has admired: Bell Hooks and Betty Friedan are two go-tos. From literature, Paolo Coelho, and if she's being a little cheesier, she may throw some Taylor lyrics out there (Bryce would approve! lol)

Tobias doesn't have too many other go-to's, but I can imagine they'd be from various different things he loves in his life - I'm thinking musicians, baseball players, and some academics.

Do they wear jewelry?

Yes, and honestly, Casey is more low-key about it than Tobias is. She ups her game a little after they start dating to keep up. :)

Do they speak a certain way? Do they use contractions? Popular turns of phrase?

They do, and they both absolutely have a "professional voice" and a "personal voice".

Tobias comes from an affluent family, so he can turn that on in an instant - but he doesn't like to. So, even at work, he's much more apt to speak in a fun, flirtatious manner. He's definitely a "gonna" kind of guy (much to his mother's chagrin). But as I said, when he needs to turn on the upper-crust lingo, he can do it in a snap.

Casey's voice, I would define as friendly 90% of the time. She has an affable manner, and that serves her very well personally and professionally. She can be very eloquent and does very well with presentations and such. Everyone knows she can turn on the charm and tell someone off and make them feel good about it (so they often ask her to talk to people when needed). But if she's pissed, look out. Her voice literally changes. She doesn't really use slang of any sort at work, but she does in her personal life. She grew up in Philly, and she's proud of it, and all the swearing that comes along with it. lol

Thanks for the asks, MJ!

[ceaseless-rambler]

hey i saw your cane post, and have some input! disclaimer - i don’t have one yet but i have a plan and think it’s a good one, and figured i’d share, because i have genuinely been thinking about this for nearly 2 years now (i just haven’t gotten around to it because i didn’t know where to get a decent one at a reasonable price until like…last week, then heatwave, and also for a while i considered getting crutches instead or just getting a wheelchair cos i could also do with one of them) (but same logic for making both of those look cool)

all the cane users i’ve seen who make the cane look cool have a cool-looking cane. like it’s a fun colour or has a cool design on it or has a cool handle.

so i am gonna paint mine (when i finally get around to braving the massive shop that sells every household good ever and also canes and furniture for some reason). i haven’t 100% decided on a design yet (i have some ideas tho), this also will work well for me because my outfits don’t get too different from each other. i almost always wear all black and have a total of 3 vibes i cycle between (and often mix together), so i can get away with just the 1 and it should match basically every outfit i could make with my wardrobe. so any design i do settle on will probably work for all my outfits.

if your outfits are more varied than mine - maybe invest in multiple that match each vibe? this is easier if you can get decent cheap ones, and also might be important if you don’t get an adjustable one but wear shoes with a variety of heights (my tallest heels are like 4 inches and my flattest shoes are converse. my default shoes have a platform and my default boots have an even bigger one. i need an adjustable one or like 5 different canes to cover all my shoes)

charity shops and second hand marketplaces might also have some cool looking ones if you’re on a budget, but online might be harder to figure out the height you’d need if you don’t already know that, or you have the same shoe problem as me

TL;DR people have cool designs on canes so i’m gonna be a little acrylic paint gremlin and make it have a cool design, and maybe get extra fancy and use clay to make the handle cooler as well

I have about two vibes and two color schemes. It's either... probably punk but I feel like it Doesn't Count, with an inordinate amount of chains and/or a necktie in my belt loops, or moderately formal with a button up and a waistcoat (suit vest) and the like. Unfortunately these are different enough that I'm not sure a design that'd match them both, but since the color scheme is black and purple or black and red, black cane w/ silver accents would probably be fine. I've got a solid black adjustable cane right now, just need to have an Idea. I like the clay thing, as long as it'd still be comfortable to hold

[liesoverthec]

9-1-1 on FOX Relationship Analysis, season 1 graphics.

- all relationship analysis graphics -

Do not repost my graphics.

More graphics and a discussion/explanation of the data under the cut.

Hi y’all, welcome to the relationship analysis!

The relationship analysis data is a recording of every interaction on the show, who all is in involved in the interaction, and how often that specific combination of people interacted throughout the season. Most of the time, we have more than two characters on screen, so most interactions are between multiple people at once. An important thing to note is that even if the characters aren’t directly and actively contributing to the conversation (eg listening and contributing every once in a while but not doing the bulk of the emotional work), they still get an interaction counted b/c people are ALWAYS building relationships w/ one another, whether or not other people are around. And especially on a show like this, where people are constantly growing and learning (and being traumatized lol), seeing that happen in each other develops their connections and their understandings of one another.

This lends to the data making the most impact when it’s divided into two parts - when two characters are alone together, and when they’re together but other characters are there as well.

Data should be read like - “Bobby and Buck had 15 interactions alone together this season, but another 44 interactions where Hen or Chim or some combination of mains were also there.”

I actually keep detailed notes about where each and every one of these interactions come from, so please feel free to ask me when characters interacted, or just more details about the data collection if you’d like.

Bobby

Alt id: A segmented bar graph showing Bobby’s total interactions in s1 with the other mains. He spent the most time both alone with Buck and overall on the show.

My man Bobbyyyyyyyyyyyyy. The most interesting thing about Bobby is that his  interactions are almost ENTIRELY restricted to the 118. No one else on the entire show is QUITE that isolated. It definitely makes sense given the context of the season - Bobby is extremely closed off, and is not inviting relationships beyond the ones he formed through his team being irresistible, until the end of the season, which is actually where ALL of his alone time with Athena comes from (one interaction in ep 9 and then 3 in ep 10). It also makes sense with his and Buck’s stories this season for Bobby to interact the most with Buck - between the sex addict plot, Buck’s first at-work death, and then the development of Buck’s relationship with Abby and him asking Bobby about it.

Also interesting - while Buck had more interactions this season, Bobby had more screen time. Which means that while Buck talked to a larger combination of people, Bobby spent more time than Buck did actually interacting with those people.

Also Bobby is one of only two mains to interact with every single main one on one.

Here’s a final look at how exactly Bobby’s interactions broke down -

Alt id: A bar graph showing Bobby’s most common interaction groups for s1 - he had the most interactions with Hen, Chim and Buck as a group (20 interactions over the season).

As you can see, his top 3 most common interaction groupings all include Buck, which is why Bobby spent more time w/ him than anyone else.

Athena

Alt id: A segmented bar graph showing Athena’s total interactions in s1 with the other mains. She spent the most time both alone with Buck and overall on the show.

There are two things about Athena’s data that I think are worth pointing out. Number one: Athena has the most varied interactions out of any of the mains on the show. This means that out of everyone, she has the most connections, and her personal life is the most developed of the core 6 (duh 😂 but love when the data proves it - esp when she interacts second most w/ Michael TOTAL, which I’m not sure I would have guessed just based on casual watching.) The other thing worth pointing out is that she almost has more interactions where she’s interacting w/ complete strangers than with the other characters of the show. The nature of her being a solo lieutenant isolates her quite a lot.

She has the same thing going as Bobby in regards to screen time however - she might have the second least amount of interactions for the season, but it just means she spends, on average, more time with the people she does interact with.

Here’s a final look at how her interactions broke down -

Alt id: A bar graph showing Athena’s most common interaction groups for s1 - she spent the most time with Hen alone (12 interactions).

In addition to her being so isolated b/c of work, she spends most of her time alone with other main characters when she’s with them - 4 of her 5 most common interaction pairings are with people alone.

Hen

Alt id: A segmented bar graph showing Hen’s total interactions in s1 with the other mains. She spent the most time alone with Athena, but had the most interactions with Buck overall.

Just as with Bobby, most of Hen’s interactions are with the other members of the 118. While Athena spends the most time with Hen, period, Hen spends the most time with Buck, although she is alone with Athena more than anyone else. The interesting thing to me is that I might not have guessed that she spent so much time with Buck, just based on casual viewing, so that was a really interesting reveal in the data! She also actually has the most “home life” outside of Athena and Abby, despite the fact that only ~10% of her interactions aren’t with the other first responders.

Hen is in the opposite boat from Bobby and Athena - she’s higher up on the interaction chart than she is on the screen time chart, which indicates that she spent less time in each interaction on average than other characters did in theirs.

Here’s a final look at how her interactions broke down - 

Alt id: A bar graph showing Hen’s most common interaction groups for s1 - she spent the most time with Bobby, Chim and Buck (20 interactions).

As you can see, 3 of her top four interaction groupings include Buck, which is why her relationship with him was her top one for the season!

Chim

Alt id: A segmented bar graph showing Chim’s total interactions in s1 with the other mains. He spent the most time alone with Bobby, but had the most interactions with Hen overall.

Honestly the most I can say about this is yet again that Chim was stiffed in s1. The most interesting thing however, is that through Chim you can see the shift in focus to his and Hen’s friendship as the show goes on - in that most of his interactions come from the last five episodes after he comes back from the rebar, and they start to develop Hen and Chim as a paramedic duo who are a little more independent from the station as a whole. The reason Hen didn’t have most of her interactions with him is that she still had interactions while he was gone 😂

It’s also interesting to me that we literally only see him with Tatiana twice but she creates such a huge impact on him.

Here’s a final look at how his interactions broke down -

Alt id: A bar graph showing Chim’s most common interaction groups for s1 - he spent the most time with Bobby, Hen and Buck (20 interactions).

I’ll be curious to see if Chim’s “number of interactions alone w Buck” goes up once Maddie is introduced or not!

Abby

Alt id: A segmented bar graph showing Abby’s total interactions in s1 with the other mains. She spent the most time both alone with Buck and overall.

I’m going to be really honest with y’all - most of the reason I’m interested in Abby’s data is to see how it compares to Maddie’s. 😂 Abby is an interesting contradiction bc she is at once, got some very developed relationships, but she’s also incredibly isolated. For one, she spends more time talking to strangers than she does to any one main character, which is not true for ANY other main, even Athena who also has a solo job. But then at the same time, she has the second most developed “outside of work” life out of any of the mains.

The most interesting thing here though is that her relationship with Buck is the single most common interaction for the entire season. I know we all know this, but it’s crazy to think about when the second most common interaction is the 118 together, and their number of interactions is that high bc they WORK together, so it’s a mix of professional and personal interactions, whereas Buck and Abby’s relationship is purely personal.

Second most interesting thing would definitely be that even though she spends time with Buck both alone and with others around, she still spends more time talking to total strangers than him.

Here’s a final look at how her interactions broke down -

Alt id: A bar graph showing Abby’s most common interaction groups for s1 - she had the most interactions alone with Buck (22 interactions).

As you can see here, they just. Put so much more work into her relationship w/ Buck even than her relationship with her mom. Most likely bc both Abby and her mom were moving on at the end of ep 10 but it’s still interesting!

Buck

Alt id: A segmented bar graph showing Buck’s total interactions in s1 with the other mains. He spent the most time with Abby alone, but had the most interactions with Bobby overall.

Last but not least! The stark difference between the time he spends with Hen/Bobby and everyone else is so interesting to me, and it’s mostly b/c eps 4 and 5 (while Chim is gone) focus VERY heavily on Bobby, which drags Hen and Buck into more interactions since he’s so isolated from the world and they’re really his only connections.

Bobby and Buck are actually the only relationship where they both have the most interactions with each other (although Buck spends more time alone w/ Abby than he does with Bobby, whereas Bobby is still alone with Buck most). It’s a little hilarious to me though, that they work so hard on the Buck&Abby relationship and then Bobby still ends up being more present in his life, and it feels very indicative of where the series goes next.

Buck is in the same boat as Hen - he has the most interactions out of anyone, but not the most screen time, which means that he’s spending less time interacting with the other characters on average.

Here’s a final look at how his interactions broke down -

Alt id: A bar graph showing Buck’s most common interaction groups for s1 - he had the most interactions with Abby alone (22 interactions).

This breakdown shows a little better why Bobby beat out Abby for relationship development this season with Buck - top interactions 2-4 all include Bobby, which adds up over the season.

----

Well, that’s all folks! (If you made it this far, I’m both very impressed and very thankful - I hope it was worth it!)

Please let me know if you have any questions about this, or really anything about the show in general! (Seriously I mean that 😄)

Lots of love, and I’m marginally started on s2 of this, although doing screen time for s5 will probably slow it down, so keep an eye out but not TOO closely! 😂)

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[hoe-doroki]

passing the night stars

banner by @dymphnasprose​

warning: reader has social anxiety

pairing: shinsou x reader (platonic or romantic)

genre: hurt/comfort

wc: 3.2k

summary: The party was neon and you needed darkness.

a/n: this is a gift for my SiL’s birthday today! To any astronomy nerds: I tried and I’m sorry.

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

There was something to be said about distance.

It was a buffer, quieting every voice, external and internal, until the only one left was that of the crickets singing over the lo-fi spilling out of the house behind you. You’d stepped away from the party long enough ago that the playlist had started over many songs back—you had no clue how many anymore. The distance turned the music’s thrumming into a quiet melody, the lyrics just as indistinguishable up close as here in the backyard, sitting on patio furniture that rocked lopsidedly in the grass.

Any filter would do, though. Anything that could soften the world just a little around its loud, coarse edges. The ice in your peach-flavored hurricane melting so that the drink was a little less saccharine. The rum casting a film over your mood, keeping your loneliness from dropping you into total dolor. The slight late-night breeze blowing the smoke from the fire pit away from you so that the acrid smell was stronger on the hood of your black sweatshirt than the air. It all muddled your emotions, numbing the buzzing overwhelm of the party to an anxious hum. The party had been neon, and out here you had a bit more darkness.

Without these buffers absorbing some of the furor, you might have escaped the party hours ago. Snuck out while the thing was still in full thrall, before social anxiety could hiss over your bones. Got out while you were ahead. Instead, you’d lasted as long as you could before out to the backyard with the near-dead fire, wracked with guilt at the prospect of leaving without saying goodbye, while too nervous to actually draw the attention to yourself necessary to actually say goodbye.

That wasn’t to say you hadn’t held up for a good while, though. You’d hung out with your friends when the fire had just gotten started and then when the party had moved indoors for drinking games and edibles. You’d hovered on the border as your friends grew more interested in dancing in drunken delay to the somniferous lo-fi beat than conversation. Then the itching had started in your brain, and before you knew it, you were out here, social battery drained dry, waiting for an indefinite future in which you could find the energy to escape.

You shivered as footsteps swiped through the grass, crickets chirping at the intruder.

“Did I surprise you?” Shinsou asked, his voice deep from booze or smoke or both. Or, maybe he was just tired, you figured, as the harsh light of the fire sharpened the bags under his eyes into dark creases.

“Breeze,” you mumbled, goosebumps rising on your wrists, standing the fine hairs on end. Only a few licks of heat from the pit were touching your knees, leaving the rest of you cold in your threadbare sweatshirt as the fire shrank smaller and smaller.

Shinsou had a blanket in his arms, ratty and certainly stolen from the back of the living room couch. He blinked at you for a second before he asked, “Can I join you?”

His voice was deadpan. Between the two of you, there was no real vocal inflection to speak of. Still, you shrugged one shoulder and said, “Sure.”

You stiffened when, instead of choosing one of the many other patio chairs or foldable camping chairs forming a friendly circle around the fire, he joined you on your bench, tossing a bit of blanket over your knees. You hardly realized you were staring at him until he said, “You’re cold, right?”

“Oh, yeah, a little,” you said, tucking your knees up to your chin and curling the scrap of blanket around your arms.

The blanket was raggedy in your hands, pilled on the hem, but warm from being indoors with all the dancing bodies. Plus, clinging onto it, running your thumb over the uneven texture gave you something to focus on instead of Shinsou’s body so close to yours.

Your senses were tingling, raw at having someone nearby again. It was too soon—you still didn’t have anything to say, no defense for why you’d dropped off from the party without a word.

But, on the other hand, being alone wasn’t fixing you either. Parts of your brain were still coiled taut as compression springs, and while they weren’t getting any tighter, they weren’t quite loosening yet either. It was rest, not recovery.

Abruptly—was it abrupt, or were you that zoned out?—Shinsou touched the back of his hand to yours, nearly making you flinch as he furrowed his brows at you. “How long have you been out here?” he asked, shifting towards you and pushing more of the blanket into your lap.

“Oh, um—” maybe a half an hour, maybe more, “—not that long.”

For that flash of contact, his skin had been hot against yours, so you could only imagine how cold your hands had felt to him. Your icy drink was probably mostly to blame, but you were also suddenly aware of how your shoulders were hunched nearly to your ears, your arms clenched to your sides like your chest might warm them. You piled the blanket a little more over your knees and one shoulder, only the hand holding your drink poking out.

“Hard being on the fringes,” he mused as he took a sip from a can. Possibly seltzer, probably beer.

You mirrored, tasting your own drink. It was really mostly water by now, though you were sure it was still painting your tongue orange.

Shinsou’s situation wasn’t much different than yours. Everyone in that house was old classmates. Shinsou was too, but he’d come late. Not too late to be friends, but late enough that it mattered. You were even later—not a classmate, but a post-high school roommate. You’d both landed on the side of Kaminari’s friend group, but neither of you were the core of it. The heart of it. That, for reasons you couldn’t quite understand, was Bakugou.

For some reason, you and Shinsou had never talked about this before.

“Hard being in a group big enough for there to be a fringe.”

Because, of course, it wasn’t just the Bakusquad here today. The majority of the old 3-A was here, those who weren’t on duty or suffering with early morning duty tomorrow. Enough people to certainly cause a ruckus and maybe a noise complaint that even pro heroes wouldn’t get out of.

“Touché”

The two of you fell into silence, and you couldn’t help but wonder exactly what had drawn Shinsou from the party. Even if he didn’t feel he was the most popular guy in the room, you’d seen the way he had the ability to talk to everyone. You weren’t sure if it was a product of his quirk or what, but he was able to start a conversation with everyone he met. He didn’t seem shy or anxious in the least.

Then again, that was just what he presented. You knew from that what you put forth in public wasn’t necessarily in line with what you were feeling.

It was hard to be the introvert around a group like yours. Worse—it was noticeable. This wasn’t the first time you’d stumbled away from a party, mind half gone not on alcohol or weed but on the sudden assault of attention, loud voices, and talk of hero work. Being one of the only non-heroes in the room was exhausting, and maybe that’s why you’d had to escape. Or maybe there never was a reason, good or otherwise, and you were just here because of your stupid self.

“Clear night,” Shinsou commented, “Don’t get to see much of the stars in the city.”

You looked up, a bright spot in the center of your vision from where you’d been staring into the fire. Almost everyone in your group lived in the city, not too far from each other, depending on your definition of the word. But those with quirks better suited outside the city, like Tsuyu and Koda, had moved out of town post graduation, granting the rest of you access to a night in the suburbs like this.

The truth was, you hardly looked up at the sky in the city. Tourists were always looking up, eyes glinting off the skyscrapers and billboards. But natives were always looking down, too aware of the fact that other natives didn’t always clean up after their dogs and, with so little grass, the sidewalk often needed a close eye kept to it.

But here, it was pretty. Not the smog-stained brown you were used to, but deep blue and twinkling with infinite pinpricks.

“Mm,” you hummed, taking another sip of your watery drink. “You’re right.”

“There’s Cassiopeia,” he said, pointing just over the tree line.

You followed his finger, unsure quite of what you were looking at. The stars hardly looked like clusters to you, especially on a night like this where you could see so many. It was more a broad network of them, either all connected or all individual. All the stars or just a star.

“You know constellations?” you asked, ears latching onto something that finally wasn’t hero related. Truth be told, you probably knew less about stars than you did about hero work but it was less alienating. You could lean into it.

“Some,” he offered. “Cassiopeia is a basic one.”

“Where is it?”

Shinsou glanced at you, leaning in closer so that his finger could match your gaze. You shoulders knocked and you could feel his wild hair against your own. His finger traced down and up, down and up in a cockeyed W. “Cassiopeia, mother of Andromeda.”

“She’s a woman?”

It was any wonder that ancient people had looked into the night sky and seen things like rams and bulls, creating a whole woman out of a few diagonal lines. Still, you listened to Shinsou, his low voice rumbling into your tired bones as he began.

“A beautiful woman,” he answered. “In Greek myth, she thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Her boastfulness made Poseidon angry, so he created a sea monster that Andromeda was sacrificed to. Andromeda was left to await her fate when Perseus, who had just killed Medusa, used Medusa’s head to turn the sea monster to stone. After saving Andromeda, the two of them got married, and when they died, they both became constellations alongside Cassiopeia.”

Shinsou’s voice was husky and even as he told the story. The cadences were easy drops, landing you softly before he started up again with his next thought. It was a voice you could be rocked by, a voice you could be held by.

“Do you know where they are too?”

“Just below,” Shinsou said. “Probably come up just in time for the sun to make them invisible.”

“That’s too bad,” you said, curling deeper into the blanket, curling so that on shoulder leaned more onto the bench than the other. You head was almost resting on Shinsou’s shoulder and you could feel his warmth radiating in the cold night. “How do you know all this?”

Shinsou was quiet for a second and your nerves spiked again. You hadn’t even felt them relax, but suddenly your anxiety was scratching again, wondering if you’d misspoke. Or maybe you’d whispered it and he just hadn’t heard you? Before you could decide whether to say it again or apologize, though, he let out a sigh that jostled the blanket.

“Jack of all trades, master of none,” he said by way of explanation.

You cocked your head. Perhaps it was just a good hobby for an insomniac, but you were unsure about the evasiveness. “Did you have to learn a lot for general studies? Or to get in to U.A.?”

“…Yeah.”

You could only imagine. U.A. was an incredibly competitive school for heroes, but that was a specialized course. For general studies you didn’t need to have the physical prowess or the other particular skills that came with heroics, but you had to be an ace in school. It was no small feat to get into general studies, especially while you were trying to pursue something else. You were satisfied with that, ready to let it go and return to the near silence of the crickets and the fire popping, when Shinsou suddenly continued.

“When it looked like my plans to become a hero wouldn’t pan out,” Shinsou began, his words slow, tired, “my parents encouraged me into any and all other interests. None stuck.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, the personal admission taking you aback.

For all the times you’d seen Shinsou talk effortlessly with people in a room, you weren’t sure how personal or vulnerable you’d ever seen him. He seemed comfortable enough probing other people, but this was new. It made the space between you suddenly seem private—so different from the party you’d escaped from. You could still hear the ambient noises of a couple dozen people in there having a good time, but it was suddenly a world away.

“I’m sorry, Shinsou,” you said, brows furrowing as you glanced his eyes, still gazing up at the stars. His parents had probably thought they were being supportive, but it wasn’t the support he’d desired.

“It is what it is,” he said. “It worked out in the end.”

There was the smallest smile on his face at that, barely betraying what must have been true joy at having a dream slip through his fingers only to fly back to him. And he’d earned every bit of it, even if he wanted to keep it to himself.

“So now,” you began softly, “you just have a lot of little things that you can offer people. The little things you could have been. That’s not so bad, right?”

“No, it’s not so bad,” he agreed. “I always liked that story.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Japanese astronomy varies so much from region to region and is usually about more functional things. Harvest, seasons. But these other myths about people with no chance of being heroes becoming ones anyway…”

He trailed off, but the sentiment was there. Trapped in the things he’d done to try and leave heroism behind were little vestiges. The inescapable fact that he was meant to be a hero and would be one anyway, even if the world told him he was a villain, doomed for failure.

The stories had been true.

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked, surprising you.

“Feeling better?”

“You’d been out here for over an hour,” Shinsou stated. “Your eyes were glassy and distant and you were freezing and you didn’t seem to notice.”

“Oh,” you intoned. You hadn’t realized it had been that long. You were sure it had only been half that time.

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.”

“No, I’m fine,” you said truthfully. “I’m fine now.”

The anxiety from earlier that had been buzzing through you had kept you awake, all while thoroughly draining you. You’d hardly realized just how much until now, with your body not just feeling settled but heavy. The stress had run straight through you, and now you bore the fatigue.

Shinsou glanced down at you out of the corner of his eye. His brows raised and it lifted his whole face, making the dark circles under his eyes just a little less stark. “You look exhausted.”

“You always look exhausted,” you retorted, your first little grin curving along your lips.

In his surprise, Shinsou smiled too. “I know that. Here.”

Shinsou took your forgotten drink from your hand and set it down, then patted his shoulder.

“You should rest for a little while.”

Your eyes met his, searching for anything that looked like obligation or impatience. But there was none. Just a surprising amount of openness and a pretty shade of purple.

“Do you have more myths?”

Shinsou smiled and, once again, his gaze went up to the stars. As he started another tale, you snuggled onto his shoulder, the rest of your body drawing closer to his as well. He didn’t wait long to begin speaking, talking in more detail than he had before. There was no reason to be concerned that he might be boring you, or that you didn’t want to hear it. Really, these stories, these stars that had brought him even the tiniest speck of light were just what you needed too.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, and you weren’t sure when you woke up. But when you blinked your eyes awake, the first thing you noticed was that Cassiopeia hadn’t moved far. The second was the feeling of Shinsou’s head tilted against yours, his breath like gentle waves under you.

You shifted, signaling that you were awake, and Shinsou did too, his head lifting from yours. At some point, his arm had wrapped around you, encasing you in his warmth. He didn’t move it, not yet, as your body creaked and you forced yourself to sit up.

“How long?” you murmured, voice barely raspy with sleep.

“Not that long,” Shinsou answered, echoing your reply from earlier.

He didn’t look at his phone or a watch, and hadn’t since he’d come out, so you wondered if he had any clue. Or if it simply hadn’t felt long. Somehow, the idea that his time spent with you hadn’t felt long was a comfort, a relief.

“How are you feeling?”

You checked in, feeling that grogginess that always came in the wake of an intense mental episode. Your brain struggling to catch up and survey the backlash from its earlier antics. That would go away. It always did. “I’m good.”

Shinsou continued to look at you, switching between each eye, double checking your expression for any lie. But he must not have found any, for he leaned back into the bench and relaxed, that tiny ghost of a smile back on his face.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, gazing out again. “You out here alone before? It had been…well, we were…I wanted to check on you.”

For the first time, Shinsou looked almost a little shy, and you couldn’t help but smile, touched. You put a hand on the shoulder that had just taken your weight and brought his gaze back to you. “Thank you.”

There actually was one thing you knew about stars. You’d heard that every light year a star was away from you was a year into the past you were seeing its light. Looking at the stars was looking millions of years into the past. Despite the fact that these selfsame stars connected you to humans around the world today and those of old, that filter of distance and time rendered them ancient, if not already gone.

But as you looked at Shinsou, their soft, silvery starlight illuminating one side while the last dancing coals of the fire glowed on the other, you were sure that this was the opposite. This wasn’t old or past or known to anyone but the two of you. This wasn’t the stars or even the stories inspired by them.

This was just beginning.

[blossom-hwa]

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO 

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress 

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off 

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

[jayt23]

So, here's my opinion on the people I know irl based on their personality types and stuff

So, since I'm an introvert and it would be boring to just put my friends and family here, I'm just gonna include random people I know, like some trainers of this medical gym I go to for my health(I literally don't know what you call these but whatev)

I'm just gonna start with my favorite, INFP: So the people I know who have this type are: My lil sister, my mother, two of my friends, my crush and probably some other people I'm forgetting. Literally I can just dump my random knowledge on them and they're too shy to complain, so thanks for that Ig.

Next is the same but now it's extroverted 😱 ENFP:

People I know w/ that type: My best friend and also basically half of the YouTubers I watch. So obviously I like their humor, but the one I know personally is like the most pessimistic person I know so like, do your job? I definitely shouldn't be the person spreading positivity in our friend group, I suck at that lol.

I don't really have to say much about the next one, aka INFJ. I have one friend and like five online friends with that type and online stuff was all pleasant and the INFJ I know personally pretty much just sits in a corner and reads fanfic the whole time without talking to anyone. She could literally just lock herself in a room with noone to talk to and would be totally fine, but will talk shit back at you if you insult someone she cares about.

ENFJ: One of my trainers, my big sister, my german teacher. My sister constantly tries to improve my life and tells me inspiring shit I already heard thousands of times. The other two pretty much wanna adopt me? My trainer literally always says my name after every sentence and doesn't do that's with others like what's up with that? The teacher always tries to make me say stuff in class because she knows I'm really good at it and it gets annoying at times but it's also nice in a way.

I'm not really doing these in an order, just wanna get the sensors done. ISFP: I don't think I know any of them personally l, but I've always got a soft spot for them. I know like two ISFP YouTubers and both are really precious and sensitive, y'know?

ESFP: My music teacher and one of my trainers. I don't like the tbh, I'm like his favorite or something, always being like "Was that gonna be your answer too?" When I put my hand up but didn't get picked. It was really weird and I didn't like it. The trainer on the other hand is really nice and made me feel more at ease when I first went there

ISFJ: My dad, but I also wanna talk about them in fiction. Two ISFJ I really hate are Superman and Captain America, the former I can still endure to an extent, but I think if there's no saving the ladder for me. My dad is pretty good, we just don't have much to talk about really, he also really avoids conflict and tries to kinda suck it up.

ESFJ: One of my trainers but we barely talk. I don't even really know what to say about her, I remember this one time when I put back a mat and she said I didn't have to and that she would take care of it and I was like "Yeah, but it's on the way, because I left my shoes there y'know?" And then we just stared at each other for a few seconds, that's basically all interactions I had with her.

ISTP: The best friend of a friend I'm gonna come back later to. Pretty much anything you've heard about ISTPs lives with this guy, he's like just quietly sitting on his phone and makes a sarcastic remark every hour or so. We joke about reading porn, that's pretty much it and if we're left alone it's just awkward silence intensified.

ESTP: A jerk who was probably into me in like fifth grade and a fictional character I could write a full personality analysis on. Although they tend to kinda be jerks I don't like personally, I can appreciate their existence and the chaos they bring.

ISTJ: My ex-therapist. Could be wrong about him, but honestly who cares? I was a patient for like two months then he had to move, so yikes. Therapy with him was fine. He would be like "Here's a few solutions to your problem, pick one and move on to your next problem." And I would be like "Oh these are just shitty advices, I'm just gonna do it my way" so I actually got better, whaddya know?

ESTJ: I don't really know with this one, I don't know any ESTJs personally and they're often just these traditional assholes and I know it's hard to write a healthy one, but I barely know any so... Idk

INTP: My type, if you haven't realized from the 'ENFJs want to adopt me' part. Don't know any in person and I tend to not really like them in fiction, there's like two I like, one of which being healthy and the other is just too relatable to me to hate him.

ENTPs: My other best friend and the best friend of the ISTP, but also the clown of my class and my math teacher. Ironically all of them hate each other. Tbh it's just nice to talk to the ENTP I'm friends with and play videogames together, the only problem is that he doesn't like my ENFP friend, since he is one of the most sarcastic people you could know and she doesn't get sarcasm like at all. In fiction I like them for their chaos, similar to ESTPs, but also because of their humor. The only ENTP I dislike and know of is Iron Man and I don't even know why. The class clown hates me and is pretty much failing in every class but german and English and my math teacher is really sarcastic but also has a soft spot for me because I'm really talented at math.

INTJ: one of my trainers and an online friends. My conversations with the latter so far all have been one of us talking about our favorite of something, mostly naming two things and the other sharing one of the favorites but preferring something else over the other. In short, we have so much in common that we would probably like anything the other also likes, but have enough differences in taste to have stuff to recommend. The trainer on the other hand really just leaves me alone. There was this one time he went to leave but he had told me he'd show me an exercise earlier so I kinda just waited to see and one of the other trainers had to help us communicate while we stared at each other since we both didn't really want to communicate with each other.

ENTJ: Idk, I'd love to meet one but at the same time not? They're like the perfect match for INTPs or whatever and I can see why but I don't know them enough to really say anything about them.

So, this is it and I don't really know why I stayed up until like 3 A.M to finish this but whatev

[writtenbynightlock]

synopsis: college kept your life busy. the miya twins also have a life of their own. with your secretive nature, things became complicated.

genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers

wc: 1.9k

warnings: college au, series, post time-skip spoilers

Part 3 | Part 5

The sun shines brightly through the windows of your apartment, disturbing you from your slumber. You covered your head with a pillow, blocking out the light. As you were getting comfy and falling back to sleep, your doorbell rang, making you groan. You didn’t want to get out of bed as your body felt like it has been trampled. Your muscles were sore and your head was pounding.

Standing up still in your dress from last night, you suddenly felt dizzy, making you sit back down on your bed. You hated being drunk. The things you did from last night were all such a blur memory. It sometimes gets you scared. You could only recall a few events. Scanning your room, it seems normal - just like how you left it yesterday afternoon. You can’t help but feel paranoid. Whenever you were drunk, you often do crazy things that was so not you. The last time you got drunk, you puked on Osamu’s t-shirt as he was trying to get you home. The last time you got drunk, you found your phone in the microwave with melted cheese on top. You can’t even remember putting it in there. You ended up buying a new one and got a lecture from Osamu for you to stop drinking and how you wasted quality cheese and for breaking your phone, while Atsumu just laughed his ass off at the story.

All in all, the twins were always there whenever you go out drinking because if you weren’t accompanied, you probably would have already died in a ditch somewhere. 

You squeal as you heard another ring of the doorbell. With a sigh, you stood up carefully and made your way towards the door. Opening it, you saw Kaori with a bright expression on her face, which was the opposite of you really because you looked like you just came out from hell. 

“Kaori-chan, what brings you here?”

“Good morning love! I brought food to help you with your hangover. May I come in?”

“S-sure”

Stepping aside, you let Kaori enter your apartment. You do remember attending Kaori’s birthday party. You do remember having dinner and talked to her friends but it ends there. You pretty much don’t remember what happened after that. 

“H-how did you know I have a hangover?”

“Sweetie, I think you’re the only person I know who could empty a whole bottle of wine alone.” Your eyes widened at this. 

“What?! A w-whole bottle?!”

Kaori’s eyes widened, shocked at your reaction before letting out a chuckle. “You heard me. Do you not remember last night?” You can’t help but feel baffled. Sitting down, you intensely stared at the table thinking long and hard. This sends another pang in your head, making you hiss.

“Hangovers are real fckers. My head hurts so bad.”

You say as you hold your head, massaging it. Kaori then hands you in some medicine and water. You thanked her and drank it, hoping it would cure the pain as soon as possible. You desperately want to remember what happened last night but you’re afraid to ask.

“Did something happen when you got home last night? You’ve got some pretty interesting marks on your neck, (Y/n)-chan.”

Kaori says with a smirk as she points her chopsticks to your neck. You automatically held your neck, confused to what she meant.

“What are you talking about?”

“Take a look at the mirror love.”

Anxious, you quickly went to the sink of your bathroom and there it was. Multiple hickeys were scattered on your smooth neck. A look of horror morphed on your face. You rubbed your eyes again, in attempts and hoping that you were just seeing things but it was still there. Red marks were scattered on your neck and collarbone. Your heart started to raise in your chest. You tightened your grip on the bathroom sink, thinking intensely.

What the fuck happened to me last night?

Who could even leave those on your neck? You didn’t have a boyfriend and Atsumu- Your heart stopped for a moment. Were you totally wasted last night? The images of you and Atsumu suddenly fills your head. The way he was being gently as he kisses you. The way he hugged your body as you sat on his lap. This made you feel the heat creeping up to your neck and cheek. It doesn’t make sense. Was it just a dream? 

“No. It couldn’t be.” You say with an exasperated laugh before you took another glance in the mirror. You noticed how your make up was neatly removed. Was it Atsumu that brought you home last night? If he did, how did those love bites ended up on your neck? He wouldn’t. You two are just friends. He wouldn’t take advantage of you.

Walking back into the kitchen, you sit down on the seat awkwardly, not looking at Kaori. She giggles at your troubled expression, “I’m glad to hear that your night ended on a good note.”

“Oh god!” You exclaimed, pulling your hair, hoping that this was just a freaking dream. You just want to die right there. The suspense was torturing you. You don’t want to think about it right now. It can’t be your ex boyfriend. You didn’t even remember seeing him last night.

“Kaori-chan. What happened last night?” Kaori glances at you, a sudden worry appeared across her face.

“Please don’t tell me you’re one of those drunkards who doesn’t remember anything.”

“Unfortunately, I am!”

Kaori let out frustrated sigh, rubbing her temple before looking at you. She hesitated but continued. Kaori told you everything, on when you arrived at the venue with Atsumu. On when you and Kaori took pictures and had dinner together with the boys and her girl friends. On how you and the rest of the girls gossiped and how it led to Shioko ended up being with Nakamura, on how your ex cheated on you while you two were still dating. On how you confronted Nakamura but somehow you got slapped in the face by Shioko. On how Atsumu took the initiative in taking you home and that was it. That’s her side of the story. It was so much to take in but somehow you felt a bit relieved knowing that you were no longer have any relation with Nakamura. It did hurt though, on how he was seeing another girl while you two were still dating but it doesn’t matter anymore. You two broke up. You didn’t love him. You were just drawn to his good looks. You made a fool out of yourself. You didn’t take care of yourself. 

“You really don’t remember when you got home last night?”

Silence.

Kaori’s eyes then landed on the couch before a sigh left her mouth.

“I think I have an idea on what happened” says Kaori as she stands up and walked towards the couch, grabbing the grey blazer and giving it to you. You looked at it with a confused expression before it hits you. It was Atsumu’s blazer. You could smell his scent from it, so fresh and zesty, like lemons. You then looked at Kaori again, “So...”

Kaori slapped a palm on her face before she looks at you with a weird expression, taking the blazer away from you and sways it in front of your face.

“Atsumu’s blazer. The hickeys on your neck. Both of you were intoxicated with wine last night. A man and a woman alone. That leads to the possibility of?” Kaori sings, waiting for you to answer but you just stayed at her blankly, making her roll her eyes. 

“You and Atsumu were making out yesterday missy! It’s the only plausible explanation!”

You felt your cheeks heat up and the redness creeping up your neck. You don’t want to believe it. If it was true, then you really messed up big time. You just put you and Atsumu’s friendship at risk. You can’t afford to lose it. You always had fun when you’re with Atsumu but knowing you possibly gobbled up his face last night makes you just want to bang your head against the wall a thousand times.

“B-but why?!”

“I don’t know. That’s for you two to figure out. You need to talk” says Kaori with a knowing smile.

“What? No! I’m not just gonna straight up ask him like ‘hi Atsumu, were you the one who sucked my neck last night?’ Atsumu wouldn’t do that! We’re friends for goodness sake. We don’t have that kind of feelings for each other.”

“I don’t know about that sweetie. Your neck tells a different story” says Kaori, chuckling in amusement. 

“Maybe this is just a rash from the wine-”

“No sweetie. I know a hickey when I see one, or in your case, hickeys.”

With that, you just remained silenced and ate your breakfast or lunch rather since you woke up pretty late. As Kaori keeping a conversation alive as she discusses her new designs for their upcoming fashion show exam, you suddenly recalled something. You remembered how you went to the bathroom to vomit in the middle of your make out session. The mortified look on your face made Kaori stop talking and raise her eyebrows a you. 

“Oh my god! I messed up big time.” 

“Why?”

“I puked in the middle of our kissing.” Kaori gasped and covered her mouth. 

“Oh that’s not good.”

Puking in the middle of a make out session is definitely not a confidence booster. That situation could mean two things - either the thought of kissing that person was making you sick to your stomach or it was just bad. 

You panicked at this. Knowing Atsumu, this would definitely offend him. Atsumu is a confident man. He may not mind other people’s opinions but the people closer to the golden-haired setter affects him. It brought butterflies to your stomach just by the thought of Atsumu’s red and soft lips moving against yours. 

Who knew his lips felt so good on your skin?

Deep down, you were always thankful for the twins but somehow Atsumu has a special place in your heart. With his charms and fun personality, any girl could fall for him. You weren’t too confident with yourself and you had to endure the twins’ popularity in high school. You were always the target of being bullied by other girls. They would often bump your shoulder while passing the hallway and tweet about you, though no name dropping but you know it was you. 

When you entered college, you were still vulnerable about it. All the emotional damage that you’ve been through, Nakamura was more of a comfort person to you at first, the fact that he’s the person who has shown romantic feelings for you, but it all went downhill as months passed by. He worsened you. He brought you more emotional and physical damage. 

You hated yourself for it. You went into a relationship when you were still vulnerable. You didn’t take the time to heal but you wanted help but it was the help that you mistook. Why were you so in a rush? 

Am I really that desperate?

How were you supposed to face Atsumu now? What were you gonna tell him once you two meet? If it’s true, how does this change your relationship with him now?

One thing’s for sure, you are in a mess. 

Taglist: @softiebadbitch​

[hongnanglen-arina]

“You’re mine. Only.” | Kim Mingyu

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Mingyu x fem reader

Warnings: half naked drunken people at a chaotic party, jealous dom!Mingyu, fingering, penetrative sex, oral fem receiving, mentions of exhibitionism, sex without protection (you should always use protection!)

Words: 4.785

A/N: Hi there! It’s finally done and I died several times writing the steamy part. Hope you’ll like it and it makes sense lol. As always, English isn’t my first language so excuse my grammar ♡

—

You inhaled sharply.

Today the guys held a little party where you had a 3 hours long competition with Wonwoo and Minghao over Mario Kart and Tekken - which you didn‘t plan at all. It just happened after Wonwoo excitedly had to tell you about how often he won against Minghao and that ‚literally no one could ever beat him’ which just called for your gamer heart to add a comment, leading you three to the said challenge. Much to your boyfriend’s dismay because he wanted to have a good time with you and with that he meant having you close to him and also having your attention most of the time. Not being absorbed into games, especially with one of his friends that he knew was interested in you in the past - or what he had told him when Mingyu finally confronted Wonwoo. He wouldn’t lay a finger on you he said. You belonged to him now and that he knew he said. That his friendship with Mingyu was more important to him than a girl he just had known for half a year he said. Mingyu knew that Wonwoo didn’t lie but every time he saw his friend look at you there was a suggestive hint. Maybe it wasn’t and it was just Mingyu‘s imagination but for him it always was when it was directed to you or because of you. He let you play Mario Kart and tried to chat with Vernon about a new idea he had for the Hip Hop unit, beer in one hand and nodding whenever he found something good or interesting but every other time his eyes flew back to where you were sitting with his friends, sitting between Minghao and Wonwoo on the floor while Jun, Seokmin and Seungkwan on the couch were cheering loudly for the gamers. For Mingyu’s taste, your leg haven’t had to touch Wonwoo but he tried to keep his cool and pray to himself that you would end it soon and come back into his arms. But you didn’t.

Because after one hour of Mario Kart - important to say that you had won most of the rounds - Minghao mentioned Tekken and you were all in to beat Wonwoo‘s ass there as well. But he was better than you thought since you haven‘t played it for years resulting on having match after match, always different fighters, fighting against Wonwoo in the game and also somehow in the living room without a break. While the other boys were laughing about how competitive you and Wonwoo were, Mingyu found it harder and harder to suppress his jealousy when he watched Wonwoo trying to tear the joystick out of your hands or when you tried to cover his so that he couldn’t attack you. 

‚Too much skin ship‘, Mingyu thought to himself while chewing on his lip, the third beer in front of him already empty. He thought about how he could get your attention without being mean or make you angry. Although he knew you had lots of fun hearing you laugh or let out a playful complaint, he wanted you to look at him but it seemed as if you’ve totally forgotten about him, which was stupid but he couldn’t help himself. Although you lived together, woke up together, had breakfast and lunch together and got ready for today’s party together, he wanted his girlfriend by his side. As selfish as it seemed.

Vernon was in a deep conversation with Woozi so Mingyu got himself a new can of beer and walked over to you, sat down on the floor behind you, pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

“Ah Gyu, tell him who’s better. It’s definitely me, right??” You turn your head slightly to give your boyfriend a short puppy smile, just to playfully glare at Wonwoo the next second. Mingyu tried to smile and didn’t show his annoyance, holding the can in front of you. “Here drink some. It will help you loosen up a bit-“ “Yeah drink it and loosen up so you can finally accept the true master here, hah!” “Never!” You still took a huge gulp from the beer and thanked your boyfriend with a peck on his cheek but then your attention was elsewhere again. Sighting silently, Mingyu tried to get ready for a long night without your loving attention...

...when the apartment door swung open and a very drunken Seungcheol ran into the living room and stopped abruptly in front of the tv. "You're blocking the tv", Jun whined while Joshua finally joined your group and pushed two tipsy boys into view, Dino and Hoshi. Seokmin asked them what they have been doing the whole time and Joshua tried to explain how he actually planned on making Sandwiches but since his two friends ate almost all the stuff instead of helping him, he called their favorite restaurant and asked for a delivery, still complaining, "I thought alcohol wouldn't hit you that quick if you ate something but those two taught me better. Can anyone babysit them for me please?" You looked between the boys when your eyes stopped on the oldest boy in the room. Before you can ask, you hear Minghao. “Hyung, you’re interrupting a very fierce battle. What are yo-“ “Oh my god, what are you doing!?“ Without a warning Seungcheol started to strip in front of everyone, causing you to cover your eyes. Jeonghan angrily yelled at him and tried his best to slap his hands away from opening the zipper of his pants while everyone else laughed, made disgusted sounds or cheered him on to take it all off. Meanwhile you in Mingyu’s strong arms giggled and told him how funny his friends were. He agreed and almost forgot about his previous aching feelings about you and Wonwoo. 

From that point on, the party was a lot better in Mingyu's opinion. You gave him more attention, hushed kisses here and there, your beautiful smile reflecting his whenever you looked at him, your small hands touching his arms or hands to show him that you haven't forgotten about him when you talked to the other boys. And also the fact that Wonwoo wasn't sitting next to his girlfriend anymore added to his relieve. After the food was gone and everyone drank their favorite drinks, the atmosphere loosened up more and more. Some screamed at each other instead of talking normally even though the music wasn't that loud, some started to dance to others singing karaoke and some still tried to change Seungcheol's determination on getting naked.

"Y/N, I totally forgot about that game I got last week. I have it in my room. Come, I'll show it to you." Wonwoo stood in front of you and Mingyu, his eyes smaller than usual since he had alcohol like everyone else. Just when you were about to agree, your boyfriend cleared his throat, his grip around your waist getting stronger. "Well, can't you get it and show it to her here? Or should the both of us follow you to your room?" Wonwoo raised an eyebrow at Mingyu's words and licked his lips in thoughts. Just when Hoshi let out a terrified scream, which could have come straight out of a horror movie, everyone turned to him and saw the disaster. Dino threw up on Hoshi and Seungkwan. Minghao covered his mouth in disgust when Jeonghan rushed to the youngest, half scolding half cleaning him, sending the others next to him death glares because everyone knew that they had to take care of Dino. This was Jeonghan's special plea this morning and all the boys had agreed. But real chaos broke out when no one noticed how Vernon and Seungcheol had a rapping duet just in underwear and the latter was just about to remove the last piece.

That was the perfect time to leave.

So now you just inhaled sharply, being squished between the cold wall and Mingyu in your apartment, his eyes bore into yours. He was quiet the whole walk back to your shared place and you thought you almost sobered up at the time you had arrived but the quick motion when he spun you around and against the wall made you a little dizzy. "Gyu, w-what's wrong?" You dared to ask in a careful tone. It worried you a little when he didn't say a word in the full 47 minutes walk - yes you checked the time since you had nothing else to do. It wasn't a nice silence, it made you anxious. "Did I do something wrong? If yes, please tel-" "Have you ever noticed Wonwoo's look?" You blinked confused. Why was he talking about his friend? "Wonwoo? His look? His clothes or what do you mean??" Confusion written all over your face and Mingyu bit his lip. "The look he gave you the whole time? The smirks? How he licked his lips more often than normally? And when he was sitting next to you.. when he always touched your shoulder or so?" Finally you started to realize what it was about and you slowly lifted your arms to cup his cheeks with your hands. "Don't tell me you're jealous? You know I don't see him that way. Also I am pretty sure it was the alcohol speaking if you thought he gave me different looks or it was the alcohol in his system. Whatever it was-" "You're mine." He cut off your words and you tried to decipher his expression. He didn't seem angry nor disappointed. It was more a dominant one that he showed with his whole body. Your thumbs brushed over his skin in soothing motions, your eyes looking up to his dark orbs. "I'm yours only, forever." His gaze softened a bit at your words, leaning in your touch and closing his eyes. Mingyu hummed approvingly but then a playful smirk danced at the corner of his full lips, his eyes opened again, studying your face. Without realizing, you swallowed thickly, knowing exactly what this specific smirk meant. You felt his leg shift and settle between yours and you automatically looked down, quickly up again to see a wider smirk. 

Mingyu leaned forward, his lips close to your ear when he whispers. "Then show me. Show me that I'm the only one. When my leg is between yours.. what should my girl do, mh?" His breath tickled you, causing the little hairs to stand up and covering your skin with goosebumps. All of a sudden, you felt adventurous and smirked as well, getting on your tiptoes to kiss him. Without deepening it, you let them massage against his for a couple of seconds and pull back, your head tilted to one side. "This?" Mingyu let out a deep chuckle. "... uh uh. Wrong. I'll give you one more chance. Call yourself lucky." You teased him, making a thinking sound and pouted playful at him. "That's too difficult. Maybe I'll need a hint?" Another deep chuckle, he shook his head amused but then his eyes were fixated on yours again, without a warning, his thigh pressed against your core, making you gasp in surprise. Your boyfriend nodded at your reaction, seemingly satisfied. "Still difficult, baby?" 

Biting down on your lower lip, you started to grind against his leg. You’ve been together for long enough that he knew what you liked. And one of those things was to ride his thighs. They were muscular and strong. Just like his arms. You held onto his biceps while moving your hips, looking him in the eyes. Mingyu was watching your every move. A smug grin plastered on his handsome face. “First I wasn’t too happy with your choice of clothes for the night. Don’t get me wrong, love. Seeing you in my clothes, how you almost drown in them, I love it. The problem was more your leggings. Whenever I saw how Wonwoo looked at your legs.. I couldn’t help but to think of pulling you away and claim what’s mine. Even if I had to do it in front of him.” “And the others?” “I couldn’t care less.” “Mingyu-“ “He liked you.”

Your motions came to a halt while you looked up at your boyfriend with your mouth slightly hanging open. Before you could ask anything, he continued. “After we got together, he confessed. Promised me his feelings were gone for the sake of us but whenever I see his glance at you, it tells me differently. I know you would never do anything but seeing this.. wants me to show everyone what we have.. maybe it’s a guy thing, I don’t know..” His voice changed to a confused and apologetic one while he talked and tried to explain himself and somehow you understood. The tall boy rubbed his neck and looked to the side, avoiding your gaze. You didn’t know about his best friend and his feelings for you, only seen it as a friendly gesture towards you. Mingyu cleared his throat and murmured, “I’m sorry y/n, I’m an idiot to think like that, right?” Finally looking at you again, he pressed his lips to a thin line, a way to deal with his nervousness, his eye brows lifting a bit while he waited for your answer. He was cute. “Yes, you’re an idiot.” Immediately his shoulders dropped, a pout forming on his face. “But only for telling me all that while I’m squished between my boyfriend and the wall and trying to get off on his thigh, that I oh so love! Because I’m horny!” Mingyu blinked taken aback and you quickly covered your mouth with your hands when you realized what you just said. Were you so desperate that the fact your boyfriend just told you about didn’t worry you? Somehow it worried you but you wanted to deal with it later. You two have solved other stuff before. You were more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. You could overcome everything, together. But.. just not now. You giggled sheepishly and after a short while, he joined. Gently taking your face in his big hands and whispering a hushed ‘you’re unbelievable’ against your lips before kissing you passionately. 

It made you breathless and needy for more. Your hands fumbled with his shirt, hoping he would understand and he did. Pulling back a little just to get rid of it, his hands grab your ass and place you back on his thigh, pushing you down so that you could feel his muscle against your core once more. You bit down on his lower lip while your hips moved against his leg. Mingyu groaned in your mouth, one of his hands roamed over your body until it disappeared underneath your hoodie, finding your breast and kneading it over your bra. “Mingyu..” You whined between kisses. It felt so good even through the layers of clothes but slowly you grew impatient. You wanted more. Of course your boyfriend noticed it. Smirking, he easily lifted you up and without saying anything, your legs wrapped around him, your hands holding onto his broad shoulders. He made his way over to the black leather couch in the living room and let you down carefully so that you were laying on your back. For a second, you adored Mingyu’s handsome features in the dim light. How he was looking down at you through his wavy bangs, his tongue poking against the side of his cheek before he placed his hands on your body. Pushing your hoodie up a little to be able to hook his pointer fingers under your leggings, pulling your leggings off of you in one swift motion. You gulped impatiently when his weight met you on the couch. He instantly crawled between your legs, wasting no time to leave open mouthed kisses at your inner thighs, biting here and there to tease you. He enjoyed hearing your surprised gasps and hushed whines. Smiling against your hot skin, he pulled you closer to him and breathed in your sweet scent. “Before meeting you, I’ve never thought a smell would turn me on so much. Wow, I was so wrong.”

You couldn’t help but to blush at his words and the moment he pressed a kiss on your clothed core, you gasped. His tongue licked over the spot he knew your clit was hiding underneath the soft fabrics. Flicking and poking until you started to lift your hips in hopes to feel more. Your silent plea reached Mingyu as he circled his middle finger over the now wet spot while watching your hips move. “You’re so beautiful, babe.” Your eyes met his when he removed your panties, throwing them behind him and lowering his head between your spread legs. The excitement caused your breathing to speed up, the conversation from earlier long forgotten when his tongue met you once again but now without the distracting fabrics, making you yelp. With two fingers, he carefully spread the skin near your clit to get better access, knowing exactly that it would intensify the feeling if he stimulates you like that. “Ahh god, Gyu. Don’t stop!” Your hips met his mouth with every attention he gave you. With every suck on your sensitive nub, you gave him the sounds he loved hearing so much.  

He didn’t warn you when he circled your entrance with his other hand and slowly inserted a long finger. You arched your back, your whole body shuddering. While your walls adjusted to his digit, he continued his assault on your clit, letting the tip of his tongue flick faster over it until he started thrusting his finger in and out after knowing you were okay.

Your hands grab the couch over your head while you tried to grind against your boyfriend, slowly noticing the familiar feeling deep inside of you build up. “M-more please..” You whined, causing Mingyu to smugly smirk at you but you didn’t notice it until he made you look at him with his next words. ”I bet, Wonwoo could never make you feel this good.” Your eyes widen, the blush on your cheeks grew when you met his dark gaze. Even in your dark living room, you could see him good. The dim light showed his well built upper body better than ever through his tight dark grey shirt, rising your anticipation. A second and third finger entered you and you moaned out his name. Your walls clenched around him, showing him how talented he is. In the first months after you started dating, he teased you a lot. Only because he wanted to get to know your body better. Where your sweet spots were. What you disliked. And that time really payed off. His middle finger found the rough patch within you and you gasped surprised, your legs tried to close but Mingyu is faster, keeping them spread enough with his elbows. “Prepare yourself of not closing them anytime soon, babe.” He speed up the pace, watching you from between your legs, enjoying the way your body shook, how you tried to grind your hips against him to finally reach your orgasm and you succeeded. There was no time to warn him nor to ask him for permission. It just happened too fast all of a sudden. After your high pitched cry, he helped you ride out the strong waves of pleasure, still moving his fingers and kitten licking your clit until you started to whine and tried to get away from his touch.

A low chuckle ran through your spine when his lips were still touching your core. “I love the sound you make when you cum. And… the juice you produce.. for me. You know how delicious you are, don’t you?” His words made you feel warm. You wiped off some sweat from your forehead when you lowered your gaze to get a better look at him, noticing his devilish grin. Mingyu was proud that he could make his girl feel this good. He was sure, no one could do it better than him. The memories from the party returned to his mind, how his friend asked you to follow him to his room. How he licked his lips while asking you that. On purpose or not, it didn’t matter to Mingyu. Wonwoo knew exactly how he could seduce people without trying too hard and even though Mingyu trusted you, he always had those pictures in his head especially when he had alcohol in his system.

Pulling out his fingers from your core and sitting up on his heels, he ignored how you flinched at the loss and even whined his name. Something else was clouding his mind. Pictures of what could have happened in Wonwoo’s room were flying around in his head as his tongue poked at the inside of his cheek, discarding his pants and boxers in one swift motion and wiping off your juice from his chin. All the while you watched him carefully but still with adoration. You still felt his dominant aura and you knew he wasn’t done with you. Wondering what he was thinking because he had mentioned Wonwoo before, you slowly moved to a sitting position, causing him to stop pulling his shirt over his head. “Baby, let me help you with it.” You said in a sweet voice and took the cotton out of his hands, not breaking eye contact. He seemed hypnotized when his shirt slowly brushed over his head and you placed it beside the couch on the floor. For a while you two just looked at each other but his gaze was more like a predator watching its prey. You swallow.

“Baby.. you’re the only one I need. You know that right?” You begin, careful with the choice of words. “I would… never do the things we do with someone else.” For a second, his expression softened but it quickly changed again. “Get rid of the last pieces of clothes.” You were about to each out for him but let your hand drop after hearing his words. Following, you grab the hem of your shirt and removed it from your body, just as your bra until you were finally naked like him. You saw him lick his lips while his eyes wander over your bare chest and up to your flushed face again. “Only I can see you like this. Not Wonwoo, Not anyone else.” He said, inching closer and pushing you back onto the couch again, just to crawl on top of you, his legs spreading yours again. “He can’t have you like I do.” You were about to say something when he kissed you harshly, showing how much he means his words. Wondering if he was still under the influence of his drinks, you can’t help but to moan against his lips, which he used to slip his tongue through your teeth, swirling it around yours. All whine his hips grind down into your core, smearing your juice over his length. You tasted yourself on his tongue and let your fingers brush through his wavy hair, pulling him even closer. “I’m your girlfriend, not his.” Is the only thing you could say before he bit down on your lip and pushed his cock into you without a warning.

“Ahh fuck!” You cried out, trying to make him slow down in grabbing his hip but he just pushed further, filling you completely. At first it burned, the stretch was so intense, you couldn’t help but to clench around him, your nails digging in his flesh. “You’re always so tight for me, only for me.” His low voice made goosebumps to form on your bare skin. Mingyu changed his position a little, resting his arms beside your head when he pulled out almost completely to push back inside. A shuddered moan left your lips. You needed time to adjust. Although you had come a while ago, his fingers were not the same size as his length. You always needed time to relax around him but he seemed so lost in his dom state that he wasn’t as sweet as usual. His face was buried in the crook of your neck as his hot breath tickled you, hips still moving back and forth. “Tell me, babe. Would you like to be fucked in Wonwoo’s room? We could sneak in and I would make you scream my name. His bed would hit the wall with every thrust. We would be so damn loud. And he would notice at some point and come to his room, seeing us on his bed. And he would hear how you praise me. How you ask for more… and how we say that we love each other.” 

You didn’t know that you had a thing for exhibitionism until now. Between hisses and groans, your boyfriend told you those sinful fantasies that you automatically clenched around his cock. Would you really enjoy being watched by his best friend? Also knowing that he used to like you? “I.. would show him what we have.” His hips snapped forth with such a force that the whole couch moved an inch and you gasped for air. “G-gyu!” “I’m going to show the whole world what we have.” Your eyes flew open when he sat back up, his warmth on you suddenly gone. But you had no time to complain when his big hands secured your hips in front of him to take you hard and fast. Turning your head to the side, high pitched whines left your lips while you felt his cock push in and out of you with such force and speed, you saw white dots in front of your closed eyes. You tried to find anything to hold onto until one of your hands grabbed a pillow above your head, the other on his thigh, digging your nails into his flesh as your legs began to shake. Mingyu changed the angle a little, now thrusting up into you so that he could hit that specific spot over and over again, making you scream his name followed by incoherent words that should actually be praises but thanks to his hard thrusts, you weren’t able to speak properly. The leather couch below you squeaked and you were sure that your neighbors heard it but strangely you didn’t mind. It turned you on even more. 

Through gritted teeth, Mingyu pushed inside you, stood still while grinding against you before pulling back to repeat the procedure again and again. Your knuckles turned white when you tried to endure the intensity. You loved slow and sensual sex with him but once in a while you two would ravage each other like wild animals and you loved both. It was a perfect balance no matter who was in charge. And it seemed like thinking of his friend as an opponent turned Mingyu on as well. Because deep down he knew that you were his and his only. 

“G-gyu… I….”

“I.. allow you to cum all over your boyfriend…. but tell me first… who’s making you feel so fucking good?”

“Y-you! You, Mingyu! Only y-you!” You had difficulties to speak, the orgasm so close that your thighs were pressing against Mingyu’s sides, his grip tightened on you.

“F-fuck, cum with me, y/n!”

Before he finished saying your name, your second orgasm washed over you with such an intensity that you heard your own blood in your ears combined with Mingyu’s growls as he shot his load deep into you, his body shaking between your legs. He was mumbling things that you couldn’t understand. After a while, he slowed down until he stopped completely, carefully flopping onto you, your sweaty bodies rubbing against each other while you tried to catch your breaths. With your last strength, you lifted your arms and let your slender fingers massage his scalp, tugging at his soft strands here and there. You felt him smile against your neck, tired from your act just as much as you were. “If Wonwoo is the reason for good sex with you, I should look at him more often, don’t you think?” You halfway joked but when his body stiffened, you wished you had never spoken those words.

With a heavy groan, he propped himself up on his arms to look at you. You weren’t able to read his expression. Suddenly nervous you said something wrong, you started to chew on your lip. “I’m… I didn’t mean it like that-“

“So you’re up for a session in his room?”

“W-what?”

You noticed the infamous devious smirk spreading across his face and you knew you were screwed.

[angeltrapz]

oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V

djhfjdks thank u sm <3

okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?

(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)

personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)

nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).

plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.

like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.

-

+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This

+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”

and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????

n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)

-

ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)

I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.

the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!

+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.

the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.

+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.

[hippychick006]

Misha Panel 

I’ve done this summary as it helps to have what Misha actually says to hand as more often than not, his stans misquote him. It’s also useful as Misha often changes things - as he appears to have done between his last virtual panel and this one. Note, I’m only focusing on the key parts where he talks about the show/Jared/Jensen.  It is not free of anti castiel/misha comments where I disagree, though those are few and far between for a change. It’s long so putting under a cut... 

- Misha confirms his filming finished in March prior to Covid [this comes up later in more detail].  Watching the last epiosode was an emotional experience for him.  For him, it represents the end of a chapter of his life. 

- Misha says fandoms not going anywhere [*hisses]

- Misha’s future work/projects?: working on senate race in georgia, publishing a book of poetry, couple of film projects he’s trying to get off the ground, one he’s not acting/directing in, the other he may act and/or direct 

- Jack brought Cass back but we didn’t get to see it, what happened?: different ending originally that Covid restrictions made impossible to produce. Cool ending involved bringing back lots of cast members over the years.  In the original ending, Castiel hadn’t gone to rebuild heaven, there was a different conclusion for him.  Misha purposely did not read the last two episodes before they aired as he wanted to be an audience member. He knew a little about Castiel/Jack’s fate in the abstract, but because he wasn’t in it, he doesn’t know what the answer was. He thinks them rebuilding heaven was less boots on the ground and more at a spiritual level [so he’s talking at the metaphysical/spiritual plane level and not corporeal) so they are everywhere (e.g. in drops of rain as per Jack’s speech to Sam in 19). That’s what I’m understanding at least.  He says that’s pure speculation though.]

- what qualities does castiel have similar to Misha?: there are a lot of similar qualities [backstabber comes immediately to my mind tbh]. Over time he and the character melded. Over time he evolved into something that didn’t quite fit in with either angels or humanity, he felt like an outsider which Misha has felt for much of his life. He became softer, more sensitive, he tried to do the right thing and be a good person. Oh wow, he says that in order to write to play to Misha’s strengths, the character had to “morph a bit”.  I loved bad!ass Castiel, he’s my favourite Castiel!

- What one thing will he take with him from playing Castiel?: on a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. He discussed with J2 recently that the characters really became part of them. He doesn’t think that will happen again, just due to length of time the played them. On watching Jensen’s death scene, he cried but it was more “That’s Cass’ friend Dean dying”  It was weird to have a blurring of lines between yourself and your character but he thinks that’s what happened with all of them. He’ll take the character away, which will be a part of him forever. 

- Misha made fortune cookes and put inside lewd and inappropriate fortunes

[I don’t get this next bit as earlier in the panel he says he didn’t read the last two episodes so didn’t know what was going to happen and gave the answer I documented above and now we have this next question where his answer seems to contradict that]:

- Is there anything more he can say about the originally planned finale?:  He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal these state secrets, but what are they going to do, fire him?  He feels someone might have said to him, please don’t reveal what was going to happen, but can’t remember for sure if it’s true. He says there was a version of Sam and Dean’s heaven that was populated with all of the people that were from their past that they have come to love.  They could not do that because of Covid restrictions. 

- Favourite behind the scenes memory of “The boys”: He doesn’t have a favourite memory, they were close friends for 12 years. They had laughing fits and fights and got pissed off at each other. Some of his fondest memories of being at work anywhere were working on Supernatural.  He’s never going to be on a set again where there is so much mirth so he’s going to miss that for sure.

- he’s talking about Castiel’s wardrobe which is actually funny - e.g. original suit 3 sizes to big, sometimes showing blood and holes, sometimes being magically fixed, not wearing a tie, going back to wearing a tie... “Nobody complained about that too much...” [uh because some of us were watching other things and your own stans were looking at the background.]  He stole some trenchcoats and has them in his closet.

- How do you prepare for emotional scenes?: it’s hard for him to get into that emotional state. To prepare for the Castiel’s declaration of love scene and taken by the empty, Misha needs to be off by himself and not chatting with people, so for that scene he sat on his own in a dark corner of the stage and ruminated on his own.  Rob Hayter, stunt coordinator, noticed and stood sentinel and made sure no one disturbed him which Misha said was really sweet.  Everyone stopped fucking around for that scene to allow them to do what they needed to do.

-  How did you feel when you read the script when Castiel dies?: Misha knew for a long time that ending was coming, he’d been speaking to Rob Berens about it, he was really happy with it.  It was the ending he’d wanted for Cass so when he read the script, he was really happy it had made it to the page [i bet it was Misha, how are those destiel sales going through your Stands company?]. It felt it was a little “risky and a little brave” for the show to do [on a fucking network that is number one in Glaad reviews?  Are you being fucking serious right now?] He was happy to be a part of that [again sales] and have that character express love like that so he was happy with it. 

[Okay, so notice in his last virtual panel 2 weeks ago, he was very happy, he’s now starting to do exactly what he did with Karla movie as he goes on to say...]

He’s seen “some people” [you mean lgbtq+ people?!]  “complaining” about this is playing into the “bury the gays” trope which is an insidious and real trope in film and television storytelling in h/w over the years. Misha doesn’t think that’s what was happening with Castiel’s [he died second after the confession MIsha!] First of all Castiel isn’t dead, he’s in heaven working to rebuild it... [you didn’t know this 2 weeks ago, as far as you knew Castiel died and went to the empty].  So much good came from that declaration, because Cass was able to save Dean, which was essential to saving the world, so this declaration wasn’t so then fate strikes you down and you’re done forever. The declaration literally ended up saving the world. It was of Cass’ own volition, he wasn’t forced to do it, it was his choice, and he thinks that’s important, so maybe he’s naieve and doesn’t feel they are playing into that trope. 

[You were absolutely playing into that trope Misha and you didn’t give a shit as you did no research on playing an lgbtq+ character so sincerely fuck off]

He’s glad that Castiel got to express that and have that ending. He thinks thats kind of important and he’s proud the show did that. [again fuck off, this was done for you and it showed]  He thinks its a conversation they will continue to have as they continue to dissect it going forward [nope, consigned to the dumpster fire I’ve put the majority of the rest of Drabbernatural in]

- Do you think you will ever get an SPN tattoo?:  He doesn’t have any but he’s thinking about getting tattoos relating to his children.  Is that a sign of desperation that a true hasbeen will do? Should he get a tattoo of Jared and Jensen’s face.  He could get a tattoo of Castiel’s face on his abdomen.  He’s saying probably not. If they want to get one, totally supportive of that

-  what is his favourite moment of the finale?: Dean’s death scene, masterfully executed, excellent performances from both Jared and Jensen in that scene and made him cry

- best memory of your last day on the supernatural set?: everyone being really sweet, lot of tears from cast and crew. The last scene he shot as Castiel was the last scene of the day on a Friday. Him, Alex, Richard S and Jensen all had to get to Las Vegas for a fan convention the next morning. They shot late and finished at 1.30, it was Cass goodbye and Misha’s goodbye to the show.  He said they had to get a chartered flight because of the early flight [not sure why he’s saying this as I thought it was Jared’s plane they all travelled in?] He’s talking about going back - because of the issue with the plane - and they are all texting family, saying they love them, so it was such a strange night, he’d said goodbye to Supernatural, he said goodbye to Castiel and later on said goodbye to his kids because they thought they were going to die that night. :(

[Going to add that this puts to rest that Misha was due back for 19 and 20 even before covid, it confirms he was not going to be in either episode, though I maintain, they may have shot an extra scene while they had him to slot into 19 or 20]

- do you think Cass and the other angels got their wings back?: Yes, probably, they have Jack who is the new god. What a long and miserable experience that was of not having wings. Cass was so powerful when he started, he could snap his fingers and teleport and time travel and lost that with his broken wings and they didn’t come back. He doesn’t know why they didn’t fix him as Castiel would have been a much more powerful ally if he didn’t have to drive around in the pimp mobile [uh, for the same reason Sam lost his powers, deus ex machina]. He tells the story of Jared pressing buttons in the car causing the hydraulics to fail costing $10000 of repair.

- in your opinion, what colour are Castiels wings?: shit, I don’t know, I always thought they were black, but now that you’ve said that, they are rainbow coloured, how about that?

- What is the worst joke Jared and Jensen did to you?: [*cough fans looking for things to complain about or hate Jared on]: Jared and Jensen, as you know, they are not good people.  He talks about directing an episode and they got excited in the week before, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture, they had all kinds of nefarious plans, the crew tipped him off and told him to watch his home and car keys. They put a fish under the seat in his car and one of the crew told him.  Jared removed the canvas on the director’s chair and laid it across so it looked like it was still the chair. Misha fell for that at least 5 times. That was pretty frustrating. Jared kept messing up his lines (which Misha said Jared never does) and Misha was directing in another room, Misha eventually went to see what the problem was and that’s when Jared pied him in the face. Everyone in the crew was complicit in the “assault”. Jensen brought him another shirt, said, “I’m sorry man, that’s sucks, that was too much.”  Jensen then pied him in the face.

- What is the real story behind the handprint in the finale?: Um I don't know, but I think it was a nice touch, that was a really lovely callback that worked well. I can’t remember how we came up with that, or was it in the script, I can’t remember. Wasn’t it a good callback to the very beginning. [Again, this appears to differ from what was being reported two weeks ago so might need to go back to that panel if I can get access to it]

-What’s your favourite memory from offline/online panels?: It’s much more fun to be live and in person. I don’t know, I have had some really fun... [PANDERING ALERT COMING UP] Jensen and I have some really fun panels together in Rome.  I don’t know why but we always just seem to have a real hoot there, talks about the resume off, they really enjoyed that. He had pizza delivered to a creation panel once.  He talks about the Saturday night special and he can’t wait till they can get back to that. 

[NOTE CYNICAL PART OF THIS IS FOR HIS FANBASE TO ONCE AGAIN CLAMOUR FOR MORE JENMISH PANELS. I DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN AT ALL]

- What was your favourite version of Castiel to play?: he had the most fun playing Lucifer because Mark P had left a great template to play Lucifer [you took the worst parts imo but Mark fucked his character up too]. He enjoyed playing the human parts of Castiel because it was fun to explore how to be human for the first time. Overall, just regular Cass. He wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Castiel for other iterations. [A great question would be badass Castiel v late season wooby castiel preference]

[purple-ktj]

Asks Compilation Pt. 3

1. I was wondering if you were getting a lot of questions about other Tae/Jin ships. Especially since your account got reported. If they are Taejinnies having doubt, I wish they would step back and look at the moments in a different perspective. Most likely you'll find that the other half of said ship behaves the same with the other 6 members. Or wouldn't find significant difference. I feel like many Taejinnies love the idea of Taejin they have in their head rather than a real love for their bond.

I do, occasionally. And I answered a few before so I stopped answering repetitive ones. Some are Taejinnies, some are not, and I agree with you. Taejin is something I personally can’t unsee, conversely I have problems doubting them. So if someone is having extensive doubts about them I would suggest taking a step back too. Also, I don’t quite see Taejin as a ship but rather two individuals in an actual romantic relationship. I ship the other members for fun and because they’re undeniably cute. Your last statement holds true for Taejinnies who drop them the moment other ships get loud, and there’s really nothing wrong with that, it’s totally fine to ship them casually, for fun. I sort of understand why people drop them, just shipping Taejin without seeing their bond isn’t exactly fun, it’s a whole headache because Taejin doesn’t behave like normal ships do. The only problem is receiving asks like the next one.

-

2. I wonder how long it will take u to start doubting tj,even a bit. And I’m saying this w/o any ill intention,cuz I used to be a taejinnie back in 17-18. Slowly,my mind started“defogging”and I understood that there are different types of friendship. Tj grew up tgthr,got as close as Namgi did,but just because 2 men confess their love for eo doesnt mean they are in a rel. The proof we think we have is just our mind as shippers confusing us. But you will understand this at your own pace,I'm certain.

There’s nothing to understand from your ask, and I’m not confused at all. If you thoroughly read my entire blog and understood what I’ve written, I’m very sure you will not have submitted this ask at all. You sound like the confused one instead, having been a Taejinnie in 2017-2018 and coming to the conclusion that they’re just friends. I’m not sure you will ever understand but that’s fine as well. If you’re not a Taejinnie any longer I honestly don’t know why you’re here. I’m sure you have better things to do? Move along?

-

3. Tae stroking Jin's chin because he finds him adorable. And he is doing it all the time now. It's just interesting how he babies Jin who is three years older. All the manhandling, protectiveness, and teasing. It's just funny how often Tae slips us using informal speech with Jin but then calls out other members when they don't use formal speech with Jin. Tae considers himself as an equal to Jin. The age hierarchy was thrown out of the window I guess. 😆

Oh yes. He manhandles Jin A LOT. And he gets away with it every single time. Far from minding, Jin actually loves it, he’s pretty obvious about it too. They love to be babied by each other in different ways. I was just discussing this via DM with another Taejinnie previously, in Korean standards it would probably be considered rude but they’re totally fine because like you said, their intimacy throws the age hierarchy out the window. Even with Jin’s lax standards being the eldest hyung, there are still certain things the other members don’t do to him. Except Tae of course.

-

4. Hiyaa! Since there is a limit imma just get straight to it lol. So i was never one to believe theories about members being secretly together during vlive but ive seen a lot of taejinnies speculate that seokjin is the one filming taehyung’s vlive where he introduces tannie and i was rlly curious and would love to know ur opinion on this? i recently rewatched it and i didnt rlly notice anything out of the ordinary :) thanks in advance!

Hmmm I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary either. I only suspect Tae was the one filming Jin’s vlives during his birthday and the time he played maple story, but besides that I don’t see anything off with the one you mentioned? Not that I’d know for sure, but it doesn’t seem suspicious for me.

-

5. After reading your new post, I believe I have a better understanding of Taejin's dynamics now! Thank you! No wonder Jin likes to tease Tae so much. Tae has matured a lot. And he doesn't show his shy, wide eyed reactions as much as before. Jin clearly knows the effect he has on Tae before and now. I like to believe that he teases Tae to catch a glimpse of that expression on him. Might be missing it too. Maybe I'm reading too into it, but just a thought! 😆

Thank you for reading! Tae has indeed matured a lot, exponentially in end 2019 if I may add. His obvious crush transition was very interesting to watch. I don’t doubt it, he loves it when Tae goes feral with him, teasing him to get a reaction out of him. And interestingly enough, Tae never fails to react whenever he finds Jin being cute or extra hot, whether it's something as simple as an uncontrollable grin, or tackling him to the ground. More often than not he’s always holding himself back. It’s really adorable.

-

6. The way today's Bangtan bomb perfectly showed Taejin's dynamics. Jin was smooth with that pick up line. The way his voice changed. Phew. And of course Tae knows Jin. He completely enjoyed teasing his hyung. Seriously tho, Jin's voice changes quite often when is speaking something like this to Tae. It will be in his loud, joking tone first. But then it comes down to a soft, tender tone. I have noticed it so many times and I can't get enough of it.

That voice change is one thing, the other thing I can’t get over is how Tae froze for a second when Jin touched his chin with that feather light touch. He wouldn’t react that way if it was any other members doing it to him. But yes I agree his voice gets super tender with Tae alone I got all soft watching it.

-

7.You must be getting quite a no of asks about other Tae/Jin ships. It must be hard to deal with it. Plus Taejinnies who are still very doubtful about their relationship. It must be tiring for you. But thank you for giving us beautiful posts about Taejin. I really appreciate it.

I do, and thank you, I really do appreciate people who take the time to read the whole load of stuff I wrote too, it makes doing this worthwhile.

-

8. You did such a great job on compiling this post! May I also add Jin's request for I love you when Tae msgd him asking to borrow the dryer? It happened in 2014. And Tae didn't reply on the chat. Instead he posted '.... I love you' on Twitter. Which ARMY thought was for them. The post didn't have anything indicating that it's Tae. But he tweeted at the same time Jin asked for it. Which is why I believe Jin later on posted the screenshot. They were flirting in front of everyone.

Thank you :) yes I remember that! It probably was them flirting in front of everyone. Thanks for reminding me about that moment, there’s simply too many I couldn’t archive everything and include in the post.

-

9. Thank you working so hard for this absolutely wonderful post. I knew about all these moments. But to see it put into a timeline, gave me a whole new perspective. Their relationship is indeed reminiscent of one we see in real life. The beginning of feelings, figuring it out and taking the courage to start a relationship in their country and in the limelight, under the microscopic eyes of millions of fans. The ups and downs. Their unrivaled chemistry during interactions. This is what attracted me to Taejin and subsequently made me a believer. Honestly though the number of selcas. :( Hear we are, wishing for once every year. Sigh. Almost all their selcas scream boyfriends! Giving themselves the name 'bwin'. No wonder they were the first ship. Let me just rant about a few moments here. I hope you don't mind.Blanket Kiss. I know many shippers comfort themselves saying it's just camera angle. Yeah. They didn't kiss on the lips. But do they not see how close that was? And Jin puckered his lips and closed his eyes leaning in? Tae bringing him in and turning his head towards Jin's cheeks? The snoopy shirt incident is a dead giveaway. Jin really asked that. Phew. Fetus Jin was so confident. No wonder Tae was getting so flustered around him. The half naked photo. And Jin's crimson red ears. It's soooo red. I was so surprised when I saw that pic. Jin actually allowed to post that pic? But like you said, the hashtag doesn't seem to match. Confused me too. It's what Jin would say to Tae? Plus the 'come here' and 'dont get too excited because it's your birthday'. Excited for what??? 😭 Soo many questionable moments. And this is not even 10% of it.

Agreed, I myself learned quite a few new things while assembling the timeline, we knew all those moments but to be put in chronological order does hit differently. Like that moment in the Gayo episode which was filmed and aired at different timings- it made a lot more sense to me when organized in the right period of time. No problem, I’m up for discussing Taejin’s dynamics anytime. I wondered about how different it would feel to be a Taejinnie back in 2014, and watch their relationship grow. It isn’t just blanket kick, Taejin is the pair most associated with “angle of rotation” 😂 For Taejin to trust each other to come that close in the first place says a lot, it doesn’t matter whether they kissed or not (something which no one can tell honestly). Jin was more liberal with his flirting back then, and I think flirty Jin is kind of back? He flirts more frequently now although it’s much more subtle and mature type of flirting! When you put it that way, 2014 Taejin had so many more questionable moments and they weren’t even an item yet (probably), fascinating.

-

10. Your recent post was the best I have ever read. Such an amazing read! I agree with everything. You touched up on all the important milestones in their relationship. No wonder this took you so long. But I'm ever so grateful you did. Thank you. IMO, old Taejinnies thought there was a drought because of the drastic difference in their interactions rather than complete lack of interactions..? Totally going to recommend this post to my fellow Taejinnies. I'm sure they would love it!

It gave me a super huge headache so I’m really glad it turned out well. Again, thanks for reading (because I know there’s a lot of people who don’t, based on their asks) I really really appreciate it. Yes! You summarized it really nicely. Also back then older Taejinnies can see that Tae had a huge crush on Jin but it hadn’t developed yet, plus they probably wouldn’t have known it’d actually become something more I guess. It must have been really confusing, seeing confident flirty Jin become more reserved with his affections while Tae was the opposite. Aha I hope they had a good read too.

-

11. The dimple TaeJin moment, Jin jerked back late. Jerking back due to sudden proximity with something or someone is a reflex, one which would happen immediately. However, Jin jerked back late, almost like he was used to the proximity. I think he realized that they were on stage, performing in front of an audience with the cameras rolling and Tae just pulled a stunt so now he had to act all surprised. That, or I am just delusional. Love you, bye~

It’s quite obvious that his reaction was really as you mentioned. He’s probably used to being held by Tae, it takes a moment for him to react and fake his surprise- either for fun or simply for the sake of reacting.

-

12. What do things to you co-relate to TaeJin? The relationship aesthetic, I mean. Is it sweet and cuddly things or bolder things? Some would say hugs, some would movies, some would say other things and so on. What things do you relate to them? I would like to know your thoughts.

What a tricky and unique question lol. Thrilling? It’s really thrilling to watch them, they never behave the way people expect. They strike boldest at the moment you least expect it. When they build up the suspense but then do nothing and frustrate Taejinnies. But they’re also so sweet, romantic, subtle and cuddly. They behave like a couple but sometimes act like they’re not close. And more often than not crazy flirty. BUT a lot of people don’t notice it. Can I say Taejin is a whole K-drama?

-

13. hey i love your blog! i just wanted to know what are yur views on the jinkook selfie? yes, i know he was shirtless... but aren't friends/brothers allowed to be shirtless around each other? because of this one pic everyone is assuming that jinkook is real😂i have even seen some taejinnies post things like omg jinkook is real do they have that less faith is taejin? because i know for a fact that if it was tae who jin had taken that picture with... he wouldnt of posted it.... what do you think? 

14. have you seen the pics jin uploaded on twt? so many taejinnies are freaking out saying they're not real. i think it's important to remember that taejin are very personal and we will NEVER get pictures like that for obvious reasons. just my thoughts. wanted to know yours on this situation!

Answering for 13 & 14. We don’t even get a regular Taejin selca anymore… to hope for a naked Taejin selca would be asking for snow at the equator. I don’t have any thoughts or views on it, I love that Jinkook selca, Jin and JK are pretty much blood brothers, they love and tease each other and their bond is so cute and precious. It’s got no link to Taejin at all. Like you said, they’ve all probably seen each other naked before. If we could see his face I bet he was giggling while Jin took the photo.

-

15. The Puma fansign in 2018 had a lot of moments no? When Jin asked what borahae means and Tae's reaction. The same day, Tae saying he wants fans to say I love you. And Jin saying Taehyung-ah, I love you in response. Tae getting shy and not saying anything back. Also Hobi's reaction to the whole thing. Ah. It was a good day.

Yes, that was a great fansign event. J-Hope was super pale when Taejin started flirting out of nowhere lol. Just to keep this blog running I may consider compiling their interactions by year and see how it transformed, just for fun. No promises though.

-

16. Don't you think it's funny that Tae got called so many names by solo stans, for joking that diamond is brighter than Jin? I mean we are talking about the same person who asked the fans if their cameras can even catch Jin's beauty properly. 😆

This is why we can’t have nice things. What will we have if the boys can’t even tease and joke around?

-

17. hey... i wanted to ask... what do you think about the "call me by your name" reference to taejin? do you believe that tae was really enacting those scenes in reality to show hes love for jin?.... or did we over analyze that?i have also noticed that alot of people are saying that taekook also has similarities to the movie.... so please tell me... what should i believe and what do you think?

Believe in what you think is right. I’ve already covered Taejin x CMBYN under this post, please read: https://purple-ktj.tumblr.com/post/613490131202129920/cmbyn-parallels

-

18. We need a TaeJin unit song with scandalous and sultry but sincere and sweet lyrics right now. A lethal combination, indeed. We might not make it till the end of the track but we need it. How ironic, I tell you.

We’d take anything Taejin throw at us to be honest. Lol At this point I’m afraid asking for a subunit would be too much, but no harm hoping for one. I don’t mind, it’ll be a sweet, fast and painless death for us.

-

19. TaeJin wilding on stage is a whole mood, an entire cultural reset and you cannot tell me otherwise. Sorry.

I have no intentions of telling you otherwise, though. Please shout this out to the whole world.

-

20. That one time when Tae just stopped talking mid-sentence and short circuited because Jin's translucent mesh shirt was drooping too low, almost exposing his nipples. Yoongi had to shoo Tae away as an excuse to take off his black cloak because Tae's jaw was about to hit the floor on stage. Tae's baby-angel broke him. The way Jin got all flustered. Tae loves to see his baby flustered, doesn't he? [This isn't the only time. They both have short circuited due to each other on multiple occasions.]

I believe that was Hobi! And I don’t remember nipples but his mesh showed skin and Jin was super embarrassed about it. Tae gets flustered all the time, it’s only fair he flusters his Jinnie as well.

-

21. I absolutely love Taejin hand kiss from ARMY zip. Tae's shyness. The kiss. Tae's wide smile. Cradling that hand. No one laughed. Tae looking to the side Jin went to even when Joon is speaking. Everyone following it up with a kiss of their own. Loud and jovial mood. Tae offering his other hand to Joon. I believe that the videos were taken acc to age but uploaded differently. Jin started the kiss sequence without anyone telling him to. Other shippers have different theories but what do you think?

Actually I’ve been wanting to talk about this for the longest time. So great chance, thanks for asking. The thing I think about most from this moment is when Tae wiped his hand after Jin kissed it (and he purposely kissed loudly so you could hear the lip smacking sound). So naturally I’d wonder why? Was he self-conscious? Embarrassed? Maybe. He’s usually so whipped and he was no different there, so I was wondering if Jin’s lips were wet and left some saliva on Tae’s hand which he maybe didn’t want people to see so he subconsciously wiped it? Sounds possible, no? Also, the other thing that stood out to me was how all the members were giggling when they kissed Tae and took turns teasing each other but it was drop dead silent when Jin kissed his hand. I think that was pretty telling. That’s my POV. Oh, and Joon didn’t kiss his hand, he bumped his nose on Tae’s hand.

-

22. The first moment that made me question Taejin's bond was this one where Tae and Jin were backstage, about to go up. Tae was wearing a red beret, kept looking at Jin with a small secret smile. Jin turns to him and they bump fists. But after that Tae still kept looking. His expression throughout made me go '??' That was the start of my Taejin journey. 😆

Lovely moment! Great start to th eir journey, can never go wrong with their subtle moments. Tae has always looked at Jin and pays a lot of attention to him. He loves taking care of his favourite hyung.

-

23. I want a TaeJin unit song with them harmonizing and just being them. The song should be like their relationship - bold, dark, sexy, sincere. All of that with an underlying hint of sweetness and assurance. The lyrics could be calm, sexy and sincere. Let the song be naughty. Let the song be nice. Let the song be them, just as is. Tae can be naughty. Jin can be nice. That suits them. What do you think their song should be like? I don't mean what they will put out, but what will suit them best.

Everything you said, bold, dark, sexy and seducing. I’m not sure why you sent me this lol I wished I was Bang PD and could give what you asked for.

-

24. What do you think was the lowest and highest point in their relationship up until now?

Hmmm hard to say. I don’t know. My guess is around 2018, there was A LOT happening then. Look at the Fake Love era, some of the best jealousy moments were in this year, also the year they started LY tour. If I have time I’ll slowly compile their 2018 moments, just to show the ups and downs. As for their highest point, maybe now? End 2019 till present? I know many people think Tae is depressed and disconnected from the members after Festa and his lyric snippets, but I personally think otherwise. During this whole period he’s glowing and his happiness is really showing. It far outweighs the moments he looked down or upset. Second close is 2017, their honeymoon year. They had that lust filled dazed look most of the time.

- 

25. For all we know, we might all be clowns and TaeJin's relation is nothing but platonic, but I do not mind that. What they have is beautiful as is, be it romantic or platonic. They are going to have my support regardless, All of them are going to have my support regardless.

Hahaha I’ll gladly be a clown then. Yes, all I wish is to see them happy, regardless.

-

26. It's interesting to see how Tae goes pliant and kind of dazed under Jin's attention. And Jin uses this tactic to disarm Tae in challenges. Just taking Tae's hand out of nowhere to do a high five challenge during Tae comeback live. Calling 'My Taehyung' and hugging Tae to place stickers on his back etc. Jin knows the effect he has on Tae and he uses it to tease Tae and get reactions out of him. But in other times, Tae calls him out on his BS because he knows Jin too well. So domestic.. 😌😌

Agreed. So domestic. I’ll never forget how in that Run episode Jin hugged him and he was calm enough to stand still, not knowing Jin really put stickers on his back. When he realised it he was a little pissy lol, he was all “Aish hyung, you seriously…” and then left. Tae calls him out on his BS and manhandles him. Of course, Jin loves it all.

-

27. Is it only me or do Tae and Jin tend to gravitate towards each other when they are walking parallelly at a distance? They are walking side by side with quite some distance in between but just steadily shift to walk side by side closely.

They gravitate towards each other like magnets. They also heavily mirror each other.

-

28. TaeJin's might just be the most beautiful love story I have ever witnessed. Beautiful. No fancy words. Just simply beautiful.

Accurate. Zero arguments.

-

29. Many people I know don't take Jin's national TV confession seriously. I can try to understand them if he only said the words (even though it was on NATIONAL TV). But he kissed a heart piece. Got all wide eyed with a small shy smile like he couldn't believe he did that. Then looked down with the most beautiful smile when he couldn't control it. On top of that, he did it regardless of Tae saying not to. And suga saying most handsome face in the world is indeed different. How are people so blind?

I didn’t publish it but I had a non-Taejinnie angrily tell me “Don’t be delulu and learn Korean first, Jin was just telling him happy birthday, the love confession was scripted and Jin was told to say it.” So yeah, blind is an understatement? I don’t know what that angry anon was thinking but they really thought BH would force Jin to do something crazy like confess “I love you” on National TV where the whole SK is watching. Complete with kissing his paper hearts. It makes more sense that he himself wanted to do it and got permission from BH, and executed it because he wanted a special birthday event for Tae, but I suppose that’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s similar to the heart events he did for Army during their concerts because he himself wanted to. And the camera didn’t even capture the footage of him kissing the paper hearts, if it wasn’t caught by fancams we wouldn’t even know about it, his shy smile when he looked down because he got embarrassed as if he couldn’t believe he really did it. But continue being blind, I guess. Doesn’t change the fact it happened.

Since we’re on this topic, many people don’t take Taejin’s matching brown hoodies at the airport seriously either, even after learning about the Burn The Stage fight. It’s cute yes, but the significance is greatly diminished by people thinking it’s just cute. That moment was loud and clear as day and I want to emphasize, all of BTS has matching clothes at one point or another, but none of them matches as frequently and extensively as Taejin willingly does, consistently throughout the years till now. And the other moment being Taehyung’s confession where he said “I like Jin hyung the most.” He expressed it clearly and was very straightforward.

-

30. His hand briskly crept up across the expanse of his chest. His breath hitched. Regardless of the cameras and crowd, he titled his head to the side, letting the other do as he pleased. Before things escalated, the dreaded look on their dear leader's face brought them back to reality. It was a slip, he reasoned with himself. They are humans; humans with reflexes and urges. They slip, too. [This really happened but is it only me or does it seem like it was pulled straight out of a fan fiction?]

LOL thanks for the fanfiction of my favourite ABO moment.

-

31. We all are familiar with the infamous TaeJin bathtub photo. The one with Jin in the tub and Tae on the edge of it. My question is if the photo is an edit. It does not seem like one, but TaeJin, two people who almost never post individual or together photos of each other, suddenly post such an intimate photo? Be it platonic or romantic, the photo is pretty intimate. How do you have two people who never post pictures together or of each other individually post that? Unless, they were feeling bold.

I don’t know either. I don’t know if it was self taken, or it was by another member. I only know it's not an edit and it’s from JP fancafe. Besides that too little is known about that photo. Maybe they were really feeling bold? They love to surprise and do as they like after all.

-

32. Honestly I think there's only a handful of people who know about taejin, meaning their closest families and bts, ofc. At times I wonder if their manager knows as well. Maybe he does, and some of the editors? At times I think they do need someone who is informed about this, to take out some of the moments when editing bv, or run. And the bngtn bomb noona. At the same time, if all these people know, how come no one talks? I'm surprised no one ever said anything. Maybe they're under some vow?

Everyone who comes into contact with BTS would have to sign an NDA. The boys are national treasures and are protected as such. They live in quite a homophobic and judgemental society, and with such a huge international fanbase, I really doubt people would believe their ex-staff or staff over the boys especially when they’ve done stuff like leak information before. Also BH is too big now, no one’s going to go around and talk carelessly.

-

33. I feel upset that some new Taejinnies skipped the ship because of trivial reasons. But I also understand because Taejin is not easy to ship. They are not one dimensional. They have ups and downs. You need a lot of patience and a keen eye. People often gravitate towards ships who has 'loud' moments. Which is why we had an increase in number last year. They never step back and think about it. I personally believe that if Taejin is not real, I don't think any other ship in BTS has a chance.

My answer is the same as the one for question 1. I don't see Taejin as a ship, and it's not something people should or need to force themselves to see. If they can't, they should feel free to ship other ships instead. I think it's fine to casually ship, Taejin or not. They are very loud this year, a domestic kind of loud. People want So What and Pied Piper loud, not ‘Seokjin-ah I love you so much’ kind of loud.

-

34. After seeing some Taejinnies' reaction when other ships have moments, I'm not sure I want a VLive. That's when they will be most candid. And if they don't behave the same way these people wants, I'm sure they're going to discredit their relationship even more. TJ is probably the only ship where even non shippers believe they're not as close. So if they behave oddly in some small way, people will talk about it again. And I don't want that.

I still want one, even knowing the chances are near zero. I want one just to see the drama unfold but I don’t want one because it’s their special brand, just like how secretive Taejin is with their photos of each other. (Selfish, I know) As much as it's annoying, I'd suggest just focusing on Taejin themselves instead of the shippers. Shippers come and go, their talk is irrelevant. But, regardless of what we wish for, Taejin themselves will do as they like instead of bending to people's wants. Taejin is taejin no matter who tries to discredit them, they love each other no matter what. It's what I love about them in the first place.

-

35. Hello... I don’t want to sound selfish but sometimes I am glad that the Taejin community is small, because we get so many moments that I feel like the minute they have millions of eyes on them, they quiet down. Btw love your blog!

Thank you, I love the small community too! Less drama around.

-

36. In the Festa unit interview, Taehyung stated that the aftermath of the dumpling incident inspired him to compose 4 o'clock. As a TaeJinnie, what's your take one this? Has it in anyway altered your perception of the song as a track directed towards TaeJin, alongside Jimin? We did speculate that it addressed both Jimin and Seokjin. Has your understanding of it changed after finding out that one bit of new information. Love your posts. Take care and stay happy!

Nope, it hasn't. My view remains the same. It is a fact that the song was inspired by Jimin, it doesn't mean the Jin bit is no longer relevant. Just like the dumpling incident, it is also a fact that Jin was the one who made 4 o'clock 'jokes' and 4 o'clock still does point to his birthday. All in all the song meaning and 2016 events do match up.

-

37. Can you explain more about the taejin sightings on Pepero day, white day and the beach house? I've never heard of the first two!

K-army spotted Tae out on a date with Jin on Pepero day 2017. It’s similar to valentine's day. Here's a link: https://twitter.com/jiminitized/status/929251399052926981?s=19 Within that same week they were spotted on a movie date and a dinner date. Unsurprisingly, 2017 was their famed honeymoon year. BTS had a photoshoot taken by Dispatch on White Day: https://twitter.com/TaeJinpix/status/1106092955046010881?s=19 Tae had that photo of Jin as his wallpaper at one point of time and it was seen on Vhope's vlive. Secluded beach house was in 2018, here: https://twitter.com/seokjinffect_/status/987193157786972160?s=19 At the start of 2018, during their GDA interview, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9Scmxtn9EA&t=237s) Taehyung expressed his desire to go on a vacation with Jin, although he got embarrassed and roped the other members in as well. I’m not sure if this is the trip that resulted.

-

38. you know how most taejinnies are seokjin biased right? I was wondering if you think its the other way around too? are most jin biased taejinnies? cause i personally think they are mostly either taejinnies or yoonjinists (or just like all jin ships) but i was curious to hear other opinions

Not necessarily. There are plenty of Namjinists, Jinkookers on the rise and Jin haremists. I’m not sure about the statistics though.

-

39. Bon Voyage 4 was really something. It gave us an insight on TaeJin's domestic life. From the jelly bicker to the car ride with everybody but them asleep, it felt so raw and real. Certain parts felt like they were all just friends on a reunion trip but most of them were now couples. They were all so comfortable with each other, not just TaeJin. I know that I am stating the obvious. It was beautiful. They are beautiful. What they have is beautiful. I just want them to be happy.

Yes you’re stating the obvious but I do not mind at all and agree with everything you said. They’re just too beautiful together and I wish they’re happy forever.

-

40. TaeJin discreetly checking each other out : A never-ending saga. That being one of the many things they do. That is not it. There is so much more to it. Honestly, though, it is a whole K-Drama. From the members reactions to them being questionable, a K-Drama is what it is.

Yes it’s a K-drama with all sorts of plot twists and unexpected bursts of affection that I keep coming back for more. It’s never dull with Taejin. They know how to keep Taejinnies and BH on their tippy toes.

-

41. I read your post religiously!!! The first thing I do when I wake up is to see if you posted!! I just want your opinion on this! To me it seems like many taejinnies are more older fans. I encountered many taejinnies who are the same age as me and I am 22, so I think that’s why we can see past fan service. This is just my inference based on small polls that I’ve collected

If I didn’t have a full time job and got paid to run this blog I’d totally churn out posts everyday! Thank you for reading the content here, I’m flattered by your comments. My closest Taejinnie friends are sensible adults well within the age group of late twenties and above. Though I’m not fond of the age stereotypes that say older means wiser, especially since I have encountered plenty of … ‘strange’ adult Taejinnies as well.

-

42. Hello! I am kind of a new taejinnie, but I am a bit torn, because I see you and many others take ships very seriously. I usually ship casually, because I feel that most of their moments lack that certainty to make us see them as real, if I explain myself well. Could most of the fandom be so blind to taejin? Or are we just biased? I can see Jin being super fond of Tae, but Tae is mostly touchy with everyone. He's touchy with Jin alot because Jin allows him alot of stuff, I think. I think Jin has a soft spot for V, there's no need denying it, but the latest Festa has shown us how none of them are truly that close anymore, V is closer to j-hope now. I think we view taejin through the eyes of a shipper, because if we were to see them as friends, nothing would really stand out. I keep thinking that different friendships look different, no two are the same. Taejin are more prone to skinship in real life, I feel, yet they don't really show on camera. Maybe I am wrong lol.

You are very confused. I suggest you watch their content to get a deeper understanding of their dynamics and if you’re still a Taejinnie after that, read through my posts again thoroughly. There's no law that says you have to ship someone; if you've read my posts, you would know why I am here. Why are you here?

-

43. MAMA 2016. They were being all touchy on camera, whispering to each other and what not. They disappeared when BTS went up to collect their award. Both dash-run-run their way back to stage from the same directing two minutes into the speech, the older one among the two looking visibly flustered. The members gave them the infamous you-know-what looks. Not to forget, they had that infamous you-know-which moment at the end of their performance. Saw the clip again, can't stop thinking about it now.

They dashi run run run back to the stage indeed lol. What could have happened, makes us wonder doesn't it?

-

44. Come to think of it, TaeJin might just be the most unproblematic ship in terms of almost anything and everything.

I'm not quite sure I understand but I think I have no problems with Taejin either.

-

45. I disagree with the anon who sent you the ask about jin's message to tae and may I say that your speculations are on point on this one; jin didn't want to reveal something private and personal about tae. I remember this one time where tae cried and no one knew atm why he cried and later we found out that only jimin and jin knew the reason behind that, but then again they didn't reveal the reason, so it could be like that. (I'm not good at explaining, hope you understand the mess I've written♡)

Could you be referring to BV letters that they wrote to each other? Yes they would most definitely protect him and keep all his secrets. Jin would know better than to reveal anything personal about his members.

-

46. Hi, love your blog! Kind of unusual ask- do you know if there are more taejinnies blogs like yours? im really into all the analysis things and i was trying to find more povs and failed miserably, it looks like you are the only one, still a win since youre probably my favorite either way- but i was wondering if you know any other blogs? (Since theres no such thing as too much taejin..)

I think I'm the only active one? Lol I couldn't find any others too so I decided to create my own. If any more pops up I'd be happy to read their analyses too.

-

47. omg the jin-jk pictures ask reminded me of how funny it was to me that everyone were losing it over taehyung calling jk pretty maknae (which is indeed very cute) while completely ignoring the "seokjin-ah, i love you so much" which is the most intimate message taehyung wrote. or the way they were freaking out over "taehyung is the one i share common interests with" but didnt talk about "taehyung is my comrade".. i just find it amusing, its their loss i guess, i get to enjoy all the interactions

Being selective? I see it a lot. Let me join you because I find it amusing as well. I still feel all warm and tingly whenever I read that message, “Seokjin-ah I love you so much.” If that doesn’t scream in love…

I shall end this post with the reminder that Taehyung chose to reveal Tannie on Jin’s birthday. 

Till the next post. 

[metellastella]

Mao Mao Pride Week Prompts, Part 3

A continuation of the prompts put out by @maomaosmother Part 1 https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621726687992872960/hello-everyone-happy-pride-month-to-all-of-you Part 2 https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621834183114932224/mao-mao-pride-week-prompts

7. Marriage

“But first,” Mao’s sister clapped her hands together, “I wanna talk weddings some more!”

“Right on!” the badger agreed. He whooped. 

“Oh good grief,” Mao rolled his eyes. “Fine. You two can chat with the king about the possibility. And I reiterate. Possibility. When you’re ready to make good on your promise, come find me.” 

She clucked her tongue in disapproval. “Fine. Be the usual stick in the mud. Don’t know why I’m surprised.” 

He grabbed a few more things off his plate and left. 

“So,” she sat back down, “I guess if you favor men, the animals here didn’t have to petition for marriage laws to be amended, huh?” 

”Correct.” the lion replied. 

“Though some thought I was … ironically … being ‘biased.’ Oh well. Can’t help that. Royal power is absolute, for better or worse. I’ve traveled to other nations and, during debates, have suggested that they not use the term ‘marriage’ as I have. Law is, at least in some peoples’ opinions, supposed to be ‘secular,’ and not ‘religious,’ anyway, so why cling to a specific term that isn’t? Simply afford all the exact same rights to civil unions or domestic partnerships. Or make up a third designation. Much easier to get it passed that way. Bypasses a whole lot of entrenched resistance. People can hash out in their own communities what to do with the non-legal angles and rituals and what to call it. But for a ‘marriage’ certificate? What, after all, is a rhetorical difference, in the end?” the diplomat and statesman snapped his fingers. “And like that, less angst for absolutely everyone involved. It’s not always that easy to reconcile or find middle ground. I can’t think of practically any other issues where simply altering one single word could have that effect. Despite a couple of decades worth of rhetorical experience under my belt.”

He sat back, and interlaced his paws contentedly. “Some countries insisted they were still going to adjust tax breaks because of the very unlikely event of children. Unless surrogates are involved, and properly registered as such, to try to avoid wrangling over child custody. That’s a whole other kettle of fish to get into, obviously.” 

She nodded. “Well like Mao said, I’m not here to talk politics. Let’s hear your fantasies about the most important day of your life!”

The badger shook his head. “Well it’s not like that for everyone, but don’t get me wrong, I wanna hear, too!” he said excitedly. 

“Erm … “ the lion looked down. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“It’s just … I’m more enthusiastic about the idea than Mao, but I’m still a long way off from that myself. So, I don’t want to insult you by making you think I’m further along, just because I have envisioned a marriage … regardless of who the groom is.”

She frowned a little, thinking. “All right then.”

“But I would love to hear about some of your customs, in that event.”

Her face fell some more. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”

“Oh?”

“The homeland, though the majority is plenty accepting of pairing in general, has not approved marriage between men,” she said, “so any customs you applied to each other or one of you … might be seen as disrespectful. For example. Would Mao dress as the woman, since he’s chosen to sub? Not only do I think he would never, ever do that …” she looked at the badger for confirmation.

He shook his head, “Oh most definitely not.” He thought for a second. “Maybe that’s why he got up out of here, for that matter. He thought we were gonna suggest doing that. We’ve been to weddings like that. Again, a little like misgendering, no? Even in the rare cases where he gets a mind for it, he’s not at all like a typical sub.”

The badger paused. 

“He doesn’t really fit in when I would hang out with other subs. One panda I met just could not wrap his mind around Mao. It was kinda funny. Irritating for him, though. I would be totally down for dressing like the female counterpart in a wedding, if it were me. I’ve pictured it both ways. Maybe even a costume change in the middle?” he waggled his eyebrows. “Or whatever my partner wanted? If a polar bear gave me any direction I’d melt under his strong paw,” his gaze unfocused, and he hummed appreciatively. “Tuxedo? Coming right up. What color? What style? White wool tunic and stole, as is customary for you big guy? I’ll match you! Usus? My Ursus. My dear ursine. Coemptio? Confarreati? Gown? Dress? You got it, my bae bear. I’m male, sure, but a lot more loosey-goosey in that way. But. It’s not me.”

He sighed romantically. 

“If I understand Mao,” the lion said slowly, “in general, he’s less sentimental, at the very least in expression, so maybe it’s simply that he doesn’t get as wrapped up in it as you or I would.” 

The badger shrugged. 

“Also, women tend to get more excited about wedding planning. Not a hard and fast rule of course, but I think we’ve established that you and I have a lot more in common with women, so it makes sense we’d be more enamored, even if it didn’t necessarily need to be that way.”

The badger slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah, wow. How could I not think of that!” He put his paw down and gestured towards her. “I mean this whole conversation we've had a vibe and Mao has seemed the odd one out, gender wise, but I didn’t consider that.”

The badger went on, “Even without a wedding on the table, which is usually headed up by women in this part of the world, it’s often awkward in the first place for a typical guy to be in a room with all women and vice versa … so this visit has kinda been like that for him, I think. I mean, Mao’s always eager enough to go to a wedding, excited about hitting on and dancing with some ladies, and all, but that doesn’t mean he’d necessarily enjoy planning one. He might even leave it all up to you even if he was totally ready for it!” 

The three femme animals spent the next few hours discussing flower arrangements, color palettes, the band of tolerant aristocracy he would invite, and who among the clan would approve enough to come. That was hard for the sister to get through, as she thought of those she loved who would refuse to give their blessing and ‘miss all the fun.’

8. Self-Acceptance

Mao threw up his hands in exasperation. “This was different than anything anybody knew of. Other clans’ elders who had wielders hurt badly were brought in to consult. We wielders can be slammed around by dragons, can be thrown into the ground and make craters, and walk away. With lesser wielders, bruises could be shrugged off and healed. But SOMEHOW, the universe had, like a homing pigeon bent on mouse’s blood, found one little chink in our armor. . . . Delicate tails aren’t resistant enough to damage to withstand direct crush force. Some of the visiting canine elders spoke of a time when groups of semi-sapient non-magical hunting dogs had their flowing, floppy ears or long tails surgically cropped to keep them from injuring themselves on hunts. To potentially avoid something like this happening again … by cave-ins, like mine, by boulders hurled by some types of dragons, even just being stepped on by a dragon big enough …  Should all wielder animals, intending to fight these beasts … should every species with long tails start doing this removal with our children, they asked? With consent, of course. Like removing tonsils or primates removing the appendix? Lizards probably couldn’t do it, because their slanted gait was too dependent and their tails too heavy. So maybe just the tips? Surely the thicker parts of their tails withstand something like this? They asked. The elders of felines and canines and rodents and otters … the later they waited to dock tails in a trainee’s life, the more they would have to adjust to the missing counterbalance just as I was. They swarmed me and questioned me about it relentlessly. They were asking among themselves … What age would this terrible offered choice be appropriate?”

His green eyes widened in horror at these questions. As if he needed any more psychological stress after being temporarily crippled, he seemed to have altered the entire course of history with the way clans viewed preparation for wielder heroes.

“Inwardly, I felt like …” he once again tried to force the words out he had started before. “I felt like I was causing an implosion of the whole clan. The tranquil meditation spaces were overrun with visitors. Children still hid from me. Our elders argued over whether they should move me for the duration of my recovery, from the clan’s circle. They argued over what to do about the little ones. But didn’t I deserve to feel safe, too? Of course I was ripping everyone apart! It was what always happened when I was around! When we were all younger, and my sisters occasionally came to my defense from one another or dad, I felt it was somehow my fault they argued, too.”

Even if the elders made these new procedures for children voluntary, he would still be virtually ‘responsible’ for possibly unneeded selective surgical alteration of innocents.

“Blue says that’s common, for bullied children to feel like it’s their fault.”

He looked towards the door, probably thinking of the dog’s unruffled voice of reason.

“I try to listen to him. I try to like myself. B-but I … it seemed l-like my family w-was disintegrating because of m-m-me. And my stupid ‘mistake.’ The whole world of wielders, even! Sometimes it still does, when they visit …! Arguing over father’s treatment of me. Remember when my sister said she wasn’t sure starting arguments over lesser wielders was worth unsettling future heroes? Now imagine what I was thinking when the little ones didn’t feel safe in the circle of the clan because of me. I was drowning in self-blame and the only way I felt I could escape it was to work harder, push myself more, and get away from there.” 

Could Blue even help him out of this? The lion pictured him like a seeing eye dog this time, trying for all the world to lead the black cat out of such darkness. 

Bonus:

From my second story, Outnumbered. Tanya sashayed around the red-caped cat. “Hello Mittens.” “Tanya I swear if you do not stop calling me that, I’m going to use the wrong pronouns for you,” the cat threatened. “Touchy, touchy,” the tanuki tutted teasingly, but her normally chipper attitude got a dent in it. “As if that’s an even trade, anyway.” The masculine magic cat said gruffly, “Maybe not. But I’m tired of you mocking me without consequences. Just because that’s the only thing that ever gets under your skin is no fault of mine. Perky little miss.” She rolled her eyes. “So, you try to make gendering me correctly even sound derogatory. No wonder I broke up with you.” The cat’s fists tightened, but he spoke cooly. “If you can’t handle all this. I’ll just find someone who can.” 

“Like the king you’re serving as a bodyguard to?” the fox-like animal said in a silken tone. “The only kind of lion with no birth mane. Are you a chaser, you dog?” “First off. No. How dare you. Targeting gender non-conforming animals may not be officially dishonorable, but as a concept, it is,” the samurai bristled, “We’re not involved, and we’re never going to be. We’re not attracted to each other, as my nose could clearly tell if he was. Second of all. Since when do you have something against dogs?” “It’s an expression.” “An expression that’s derogatory towards dogs,” the cat sneered. “I can’t imagine the blue therapist dog could be less like that. It’s like ‘sexist pig.’ The yellow pig back in Pure Heart would be crushed if he ever heard someone utter it. Yet outside that nice little paradise, it’s a common saying. King Snugglemagne is having to adjust mightily to the outside world. You may be used to it, steeped in it, but for magic’s sake, stop teasing him about it.” “Oh, a king can’t take a little hardship?” she said lazily. “Of course not, he’s been ensconced in his fancy-pants palace. Now that he has an idea of how it is for everyone else, he crumples at the slightest trouble. Sorry I can’t muster up enough energy to care.” “You should care. Given that he has the same problems you do.” “With pronouns? Puh. Since I’m a roaming outlaw,” the orange animal said flouncily, “I don’t expect either other crooks or enforcers I encounter to respect that my gender doesn’t match my body’s smell. The former doesn’t even respect the law, so why should I take that personally? And the latter are more focused on getting me behind bars. So, no, not my problem. Too much of a bother.” “If you settled down, and got a respectable job,” the cat pointed out, “Established yourself as a constant presence, people would probably collectively accept you.” She laughed derisively. “Oh no, I value my freedom far more than that, Mi-” she swallowed back the nickname. He laughed just as derisively. “I see you do value my word on the matter, though,” he said suggestively. “Are you just not as tough as you make out, or do you still harbor some feelings for me, my sweet little illusionist?” 

She opened her mouth, but then shut it again. 

“You slippery mirage master,” he said “you do, don’t you?”

He paused. “Hm. ‘Master,’ maybe I should say ‘Mistress’?” he amended. “There’s . . . really no good choice there,” she chuckled hesitantly. “There are ‘Head Mistresses’ at some schools in Snugglemagne’s kingdom,” the cat pointed out. 

“Yes but . . . still has connotations. I don’t break the law that way,” she said, normally carefree attitude wobbling. “Even I have standards.”

“Hasn't stopped you from dangling the offer to get what you want,” he said. 

She blushed.

“Yeah, word gets around,” he went on blithely as she uncomfortably gripped one of her arms. “Don't know why I should be surprised that playing with hearts isn't beneath you. But more to the point. I know you’re ultimately reasonably principled in that arena, if really flirty. You ever want to get back together, babe, the invitation is open,” he winked. 

“And endure your jealous behavior again? I think not. I’ll file that away with other useless knowledge,” she said icily. 

“Oh that’s not like you,” he said in a low baritone. “You’re sweet to everyone, even if they can’t catch the mocking tone sometimes.” “Not everyone’s as smart as you, cupcake.” He looked caught off guard by the compliment. “She brushed her fingers under his chin. “I guess you’ll just have to miss me.”

She somersaulted away from him, waving goodbye and blowing a kiss.  He said under his breath, “As if I’d ever misgender you. You may play a lot of mind games, love, but you didn’t catch that bluff.”

Comic page: https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/621837213819437056/mao-maos-specific-trigger-should-not-be First chapter of Piercing the Swordsman https://metellastella.tumblr.com/post/617045879413719040/piercing-the-swordsman-chapter-1

@beesechurguer @king-himbo

[sharkfish]

ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too: 

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post) 

A Change of Scene by SurlyCat

When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isn't expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.

ooooomg fuck me up with that sex to lovers thing featuring bdsm. yessssss 

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria)

Dean took a deep breath and reassessed the situation. He was in bed with a guy, sure, and technically they were snuggling, but it was Cas. The guy had absolutely no reference on what was appropriate physical contact between two dudes sharing a bed in the... normal, completely unsexy, no-funny-business, way.

cas is fallen, dean is confused (what else is new), A+ cuddling. that’s the fic. 

Boys On Film by LoversAntiquities @tragidean​ 

But maybe that’s what it is—maybe Castiel’s finally realized something Dean is too chicken to admit, despite the fact he’s been jerking off to the idea of Castiel fucking him for the past few weeks. The idea warms him as much as it pains him to think about, his friend not being able to talk to him about something like that. That has to be it—it’s the only explanation. Castiel likes him.

“Or maybe he knows you do cam shows.”

Dean chokes on his burger.

idk what to say, i love a good sex worker fic and here you go. @tragidean​ is always here with that first-class content. 

Castiel's Angel by Valinde (Valyria) @valinde​

The angel took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. He was fidgeting Cas noticed. Usually he was so bizarrely at ease in his human form, lounging around and tossing winks and smirks at anyone with a pulse. That more than anything had Cas straightening on his stool and wishing he was a little less tipsy.

“Ineedyoutogroommywings,” Dean muttered in one long, almost unintelligible, string. He was blushing.

all my fellow wing hos should flock* to this fic. i also love me a good switcharoo with angel dean (and hunter cas, as this is an alternate canon universe). and dean gets all claim-y, which is also my jam. 

*this was unintentional but a pretty funny joke 

For Science! by pm_lo 

Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchester’s seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.

i believe this was the first abo fic i added to my bookmarks. story time: many, many moons ago, i kept track of my reading list. i was doing that “50 books a year” thing so it was mostly for tracking that, but i had another tab for fics, because i read few enough that i could track them. i rated things and sometimes left notes, and by all the abo ones i was like “don’t tell anyone i read this.” yes, i shamed myself for liking abo. it was a dark time in my life.

anyway, then i read this, and was like, all right i can see what’s going on here.

this is a great fic for multiple reasons, and the format is one. it’s written as dialogue-only transcripts from their experiment. it’s hard to make that kind of format work, but pm_lo ain’t fucking around. 

Just a Stranger On the Bus by Amelia_Clark 

December 31 9:32 PM When Castiel boards the bus in KC, they think it’s empty at first—but when they toss their backpack onto an aisle seat and climb in after it, there’s a muffled yelp from the dimness at the back of the bus. They turn in time to see a man in a faded Carharrt jacket, sitting up and yawning as he rubs sleep out of his eyes. The man’s hair is greasy and matted down on one side, and there’s drool on the side of his face; nonetheless, he’s ridiculously good-looking.

“Hey man,” he says. Castiel does not correct him. “This can’t be Chicago.”

the non-binary tag, just like the trans tags in general, are a house half-built and left to rot in the rain. even if that wasn’t true, this series is goddamn amazing. also there’s rimming. also there’s a line in there that said something like “they don’t dislike their body, it just never felt like theirs” and i had a lightbulb moment irt my own experience. did dean ever wear carharrt in the actual series? if not, mistakes have been made. 

Just Turn Around and Go by PorcupineGirl @porcupine-girl​

Dean should be happy. His best friend and housemate of five years, Castiel, is moving out to live with his boyfriend, Balthazar. Dean's career is going great, so he can easily afford the house on his own now. This is just growing up, moving forward to the next phase of their lives.

It would be awesome, if he weren't in love with Cas.

Well, here we go, he thinks as he opens the refrigerator and digs around for sandwich supplies. First day of the rest of your life. Time to move the fuck on. As he slams his meat and mayo and pickles down on the counter, he considers adding the bottle of whiskey he knows is hiding in the cabinet, but decides that he has enough self-respect to wait 'til five. Then he'll get fucking blackout drunk. Yep. Awesome.

y’all, do i even have to say anything about this? roommates to friends to a pathetic amount of pining without saying shit to disgustingly in love. also i think i cried, but i’ve been in tears so many times in the last week, who’s to say. 

Plus One by ceeainthereforthat @ceeainthereforthat​ 

Castiel Novak might have to attend three weddings in two months, but he’s not about to let his brother play matchmaker. His family’s Internet streaming company is too important to let a relationship steal his time, but he knows exactly what to do–hire someone to pretend to be his boyfriend.

Dean Winchester has worked five-star hospitality long enough to know how to fit in with Castiel’s crowd, and this job could score him the connections to make his acting career take off. It’s a business deal, no matter how they’re drawn to each other. When the lines of their contract start to blur into real feelings, can they withstand Castiel’s family and jealous fans working to split them up?

there are a lot of great fake dating stories out there, but this one takes the cake (or, at least, a slice of it). also, i cried a lot rereading this, both “ohhh god i love their love” tears and also “ohhhh god this hurts so bad” tears. 

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche) 

Despite their age gap and differing social circles, Castiel has struck up a warm friendship with Mary Winchester, a wealthy widowed socialite. When Castiel needs a place to stay, Mary invites him into her house, where there’s loads of spare room. Castiel’s aware that they make an odd pair, but he doesn’t fully realize how things look to outsiders, especially to Mary’s eldest son. All Dean Winchester sees is that his mom has apparently hooked up with a hot young guy (who is totally Dean’s type) and that makes things… weird.

they’re both oblivious idiots in love, cas is grey-ace, dean’s a total dork, it’s all just very lovely (and frustrating in the way oblivious idiots can be!!!). 

PS - annie d is writing marvel fic lately and i’m sure it’s fantastic if you’re into that kind of thing. 

Support Your Local Gay Beekeeper by Powerfulweak

It’s not like Dean goes on Grindr very often, just when he’s bored and alone. The blue-eyed guy's profile reads "Beekeeper, 29, 5'10, Single, I watch the bees." Dean is intrigued. He has to send a message.

this is a series that starts with some great phone sex and then goes on to very, very awkward sex injuries. a goddamn cringefest that had me in complete horror imagining it. but it’s fun! they persevere! people so rarely write about Sex Going Wrong and i love @powerfulweak​ for taking the bullet for us on that one. 

Take Me Home Tonight by Persephoneshadow @persephoneshadow​

“Come on, we’re finding you someone to…engage with sexually or whatever,” Dean explains, chancing another swig of beer before going on. “Anyone in this bar, no limits, who would you would be your top choice to bang?” “Well, you, ideally.” Dean spits out some beer before collapsing in on himself, legitimately choking this time. “Excuse me?!” ---- Or the one where Cas wants to have sex and Dean is there to help.

your classic denialist “i’ll be your wingman” turning to “actually imagining someone else touching you makes me want to punch someone.” which is dumb, because cas actually wanted dean all along. 

Words with Friends by betts

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood.

Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak."

***

Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

look i think you’re always in good hands with @bettsfic​. but this one has some good sexting and phone sex right at the start, which i’m totally into, and then it gets even better. cas is a lil bossy, by which i meant to say he’s the kind of bdsm geek who has equipment installed in his bedroom for sex purposes. 

You're The Only Stranger I Need by lyndsie_l

When Castiel receives a text from a stranger, he finds himself engaging in conversations daily. He's drawn to the outgoing college student and longs to interact with the other man as often as he can. Slowly, he finds himself falling in love with the other and can't imagine ever meeting a more beautiful person.

The only problem?

He's never actually met this other man.

be still my heart! a long distance/texting/phone sex thing! i want to read it again right this second. cas is such a cool nerd, dean is a brat, it’s a good time all around. 

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3 

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :) 

[act-addict-actors-matchups]

Hi 💖😳 I LOVE THESE SM I’m a libra, ENFP, 5’7, thin, dark brown eyes and hair w alternating style/colors. I like fashion and makeup and p materialistic, so that shows in my appearance + big tall shoes!! quiet at first, but i adapt to/talk w anyone and been told I’m funny. Has RBF and been called intimidating :( but more so the opposite. Im light hearted but u can’t push me around! a loud, flighty, lazy, hopeless romantic goofball w a competitive streak and I WILL call out bs. (💕cont.)

I’d match you with: Banri Settsu

➻ one; you and Banri would be that couple who are always at each other’s throats but lovey-dovey at the same time. neither of you are shy so it wouldn’t be too much of a problem for you two to strike up a conversation and get to know each other. since Banri needs to be constantly challenged because he gets bored too easily, you would intrigue him. honestly, this boy would never be bored of you.

➻ two; Banri would be surprised when you start to talk more and more, because the girl he thought was shy and quiet was gone now. instead, he was with someone who still has traces of kindness and tenderness but can beat his ass at the same time. he really likes how you stand up for yourself and don’t let somebody push you around. that also means you will bite back whenever he starts teasing you. you are probably the only person who can get mr. i’m-so-good-at-everything-i-do Settsu to blush every once in a while. oh, but he will totally get you back twice as hard whenever you successfully get him to blush. “Oi oi, what is it? Do you want my attention? Try saying it honestly?” also did you say you were competitive? well, so is Banri. can you imagine all the stupid things you will challenge to each other. i bet you two would agree that the loser has to grant a wish of the winner or something like that. you’re flirty? oh, please. try and impress him. he knows he is a smooth talker himself so you two will constantly flirt out on the open where everyone can probably hear you. do you mind though? haha, no. winning is more important after all. also, Banri might not seem like it but i headcanon him as a romantic person deep down. i mean have you seen his ssr backstage story?? this boy got me swooning. so he might even surprise you with sudden attitude changes. please, feel free to shower him with your affection because this delinquent loves getting attention from you. he would rather die than admit it though. in short, he is the type of boyfriend who deserves to be kissed and get beaten up at the same time.

➻ three; you two also basically have the same hobbies so it really isn’t that hard for you to get together to do something. be it shopping, playing games, watching movies. Banri is known for being a fashionista in the company, it’s canon. so he wouldn’t have any problems accompanying you to the mall. he would even buy you some clothes himself. seriously though, this boy knows what he is doing when it comes to putting together outfits. also, being the gentleman he is, no i don’t take criticism on this one, he can be quite the gentleman whenever he wants to be, he will also carry your bags. he might want to go shopping for himself as well and, wait for it, he would even let you put an outfit together for him. as for games, be ready to get dragged in whenever Itaru and Banri are playing because you are now their number 3. the more the merrier, right? also going on random adventures is something Banri needs as well since he is claiming to live his life in super-ultra easy mode and wants to seek some thrill out of life. so at random times he would just grab and drag you to somewhere. he might not give you a straight compliment in the first date territory because when he starts to build up a friendship and a connection to someone, he often has trouble to express himself and his feelings but once he gets used to it, he will compliment you when you least expect it. so get your heart ready. honestly, Banri relates to you when you say you know lots of people but don’t consider most of them your friends. he also said it himself in his portrait that he has a group of people he hangs out with at school but isn’t too buddy-buddy with them.

➻ four; Banri’s birthday is on september 9th which makes him a virgo. when virgo and libra join together in a love match, it can be like puting two puzzle pieces together. each locks into the other and sits comfortably in place. both signs seek security in partnership, and they share a love of beauty and culture. they can work together efficiently and smoothly because they desire similar rewards. the virgo-libra relationship may trickle along in the beginning, but it will rev up once both partners grow to respect one another. virgo and libra both appreciate superficial pleasures, and they often enjoy collecting bone china, art or photographs. they also enjoy the theater and all forms of art. practicality and pleasure are important to both signs, and they compliment one another in many ways. virgo appreciates libra’s charm and diplomacy, and libra can even things out when virgo doesn’t get their way. libra appreciates the virgo love of order and the tangible rewards that come with it. additionally, libra and virgo are willing and able to see the different sides of an argument, and together they make decisions only after examining the facts. aesthetics are important to both partners, and they share a love of the finer things in life. their similar tastes and loves make theirs a relationship of great balance.