#twice the dad jokes lol

[diabloku]

the two cakes meme but make it about

✨ DADS✨

Bonus, she wants them to get along:

[mycological-mariner]

The terrible thing about being into Cornish history is that your historical blorbos don’t even have so much as an etching of what they looked like and also just are not well known At All. I’m just here with Cpt. James Quick’s letters like I’m gonna get emotional reading these again HUH

But also it sucks because his wife’s maiden name is an excellent pun and their first child was born prematurely (side note: while it’s very possible the kid was conceived out of wedlock because the dates are INSANE it doesn’t really matter in any event since they appear to have lived pretty happy lives after the fact), James himself joked about their combined names and the premature baby. Harriet Quick’s maiden name was Dunn. They’re son was Dunn-Quick.

[dragon-cookies]

30-something Link with a baby that wakes up at 5am every day: ah I get it now

[nomaishuttle]

i think maybe my streak system is a bitttt op...

[dinogoofymutated]

First born Headcannons! Multi/Fem!Afab! Reader - Angel, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Gambit OKAY FUCK I don't know what came over me it just happened okay??? This whole thing started thinkin about colossus and a lil baby and then I was thinking about Warren taking the nightshift with his own baby and I spiraled from there. Warren's is like twice as long as everyone elses my bad yall. If there are any typos don't make fun of me ill fix them tomorrow I'm so tired lol TWs: Childbirth mentioned (Not described tho), Babies, wholesome shit. I know that some of these characters have had kids in the comics and that these hcs may be ooc, but I do not care lol. Little bit of anxiety and panic, but everything is okay.

Warren Worthington

Warren is such a dad. I don't even know how to describe it. Like, he's not as effortlessly fatherly like Piotr is, but once he has a kid he's devoted to making sure this kid gets all the emotional, physical, and financial support they would ever need.

He had such a rocky childhood with his own dad, so he hates the idea of his child ever going through the same sort of thing.

He might be a little clueless with the actual baby things, like when to feed, how to dress, and what to feed his little one, but he does take diaper duty as his sole purpose in life. He does adjust for the things he lacks though, and gradually adjusts to be better at them!

He's strangely good with babies, even before he had his own! There's just something about him that makes them stop crying. He's also an expert at nap times.

    It’s an early weekday afternoon. The sun is shining through the blinds in warm golden rays, the sink clean and the dishwasher running. There’s a click once the message on the answering machine stops playing, and you have an uncertain frown on your face as you take it all in.

    The house is silent, brightly decorated with pictures of your close friends lining the walls of the hallway. The sounds of your husband quietly shushing your infant son gradually become easier to hear when you reach the cracked door of the nursery, pushing it open as quietly as you can.

    Warren’s back is facing you, fluffy wings almost glowing where the sunrays touch his feathers. Your newborn is sleeping in his arms, napping after a lunchtime bottle. He’s bouncing the baby just slightly, and you swear you can see his smile without ever having to see his face. It’s a sweet moment you want to crystalize in your memories. You lean against the doorway, smiling just as bright as you’re sure he is.

    "Hi~" You say sweetly after a moment. You were right. Warren’s happy smile is bright and blinding when he turns to look at you.

    "Hey," He says quickly, lifting your sleeping son so that you can see him better. "Hi Mama, say hi Mama!" Warren whispers as he lifts the baby’s pudgy little hand to wave at you. You can’t help but giggle, walking forward to kiss both of them on their cheeks- your little one not stirring from his nap. You take a breath afterward, leaning against his side as you debate telling him.

    “Something wrong?” Warren asks, one of his wings stretching out to wrap around your side and pull you closer to him. Normally you giggle, but today you bite your lip, unsure.

    "Your dad called." Your words are soft when you say it, and Warren immediately laughs in a way that sounds more like a scoff.

    “His secretary, you mean.” Warren attempts to correct, and his joking tone makes you frown a little, rubbing his upper arm in an attempt to be soothing.

    “No, not her, honey.” Warren stays silent after you say it, his brow furrowing as his face turns into a reflection of confusion and sadness. You can see the conflict as he turns the words over in his head, cooing and shushing your son back to sleep when he starts to stir a little, feeling the atmosphere shift. 

    “...what did he want?” He asks, voice low and quiet.

    “He left a message on the answering machine if you want to listen to it.” You tell him. “He, well… He wants to meet his grandson.” Warren scoffs at that, shaking his head as he starts to pace the room a little. You stand there, grounded as you watch him process the sudden contact.

    “He really said that? After all he’s put me through, he wants to meet our son… What a joke.” You grimace when Warren starts to laugh. He finally stops pacing to gently lay your son back in his crib. He leans against the side with one hand as the other rubs his eyes before it slides up to run through his hair.

    “Do you want him to?” You ask after a moment, stepping over to his side. He leans into your touch when you reach out to hold his cheek.

    “I-” Warren stops himself, taking a deep breath as he takes your hand in his own. “What do you want to do?” He asks instead. You shake your head at him, taking hold of his hand in both of yours, tracing the wedding band on his finger.

    “He’s your dad, love. It’s your choice.” You say softly. Warren is still frowning, and he lets out a long breath, deflating a little bit. He turns around to face you, pressing a kiss to your temple and holding you there for a long moment. You wish you had even a fraction of Jean’s or the Professor’s power, if only you could see what was going on in that head of his. He pulls you into a side hug, and the two of you spend a long while looking at your infant in the crib. The perfect mixture of the both of you. Certain to be a mutant in his own right. You can tell Warren spends every second thinking about it.

    When he steps away from you, He’s silent.

    “Warren?” You call out for him as he leaves the room. You’re about to follow when you hear the distinct sound of your son about to wake up, the little whine catching your attention as you coo him back to sleep instead. The door to the nursery is open, and just faintly down the hall, you hear the sound of the landline starting to ring.

    “Hey, Dad, it’s Warren. Is Saturday okay?”

Piotr Rasputin

GOD this man is so good with kids. I mean, have you seen those comic panels with him and his sister??

This man was made, built, forged to be a dad. He's protective but encouraging, and although he may be blunt, he knows when his kiddo needs some comfort.

He takes all the classes with you during the pregnancy, and he knows he'd never hurt his baby, but there's always a lil bit of worry in the back of his mind. He's a little too strong, and he hates the thought of slipping up and accidentally harming this fragile little soul the two of you brought into this world.

He gains confidence with time, and when the baby arrives he's always carrying them securely on one thick arm, belly down as they sleep soundly against him.

    His baby is so small when they hand her to him in the hospital. She's tiny. Smaller than the width of his arm. He looks like a giant as he holds her, sat next to your bedside as you recover from her delivery. He's in awe as he looks at her, a tiny little life, the greatest gift you've ever given him besides your hand in marriage. 

    You and others had always joked that his baby would be huge, big-headed, 99th percentile, and he never minded it. It was no secret that he was a big man, and he didn't mind what size the baby was as long as it was healthy, and looking at the little bundle of joy in his arms, he decides he wouldn't have it any other way.

    It's almost comical, how small she is. Hell, even you might have doubted the paternity of the baby girl if it hadn't been for her head of pitch-black hair, and pretty blue eyes. Almost a carbon copy of himself.

    “She has your eyes.” You say once her cries quiet down, and she begins to fall asleep in her father's arms.

    “No.” Piotr hums, gingerly touching his daughter's face. “They look much more like Illyana's.” You hadn't thought about that before, but now that he mentions it, the resemblance is undeniable. You giggle at that, Scooting closer so that you can lean on his shoulder.

    “The nurse said that she's waiting outside, when you're ready. I'm sure she's beyond excited to meet her niece.” You mumble. Piotr has placed a finger in the palm of your baby's hand, both of you smiling when the little fingers do their best to try and close around his fingertip. Piotr cannot wait to see the face of his sister when she sees your baby, but he'll be the first to admit, he'd like it if this moment could just last a little while longer.

Kurt wagner

Kurt is such a good dad oh my god.

He's always talking about you and the kids, bragging about literally everything you do ever. He's the kind of dad that has endless photos of his kiddos in his wallet, car, locker, everywhere.

And he's so devoted, too. He'll do anything you ask him to do during the newborn stage (and after) and is beyond supportive. His goals are happy Spouse, Happy kids, Happy life.

He's also very sentimental :) he thanks god every day for you and the blessing that is your baby.

    Kurt’s side of the bed was empty when you woke up this morning, and despite the normal amount of anxiety you normally feel when that happens, you feel peaceful. You’re smiling at the empty mattress, rolling over to his side to push your face into his pillow, taking a deep breath. Used to, you would be worried. You would wonder where he was, or if he was safe. If he had gone off on some x-men mission without telling you (which he never did). But today, you know exactly where he is. You’re smiling now as you think about it, pressing a kiss to his pillow before standing up.

    There’s a soft humming in the house, quiet and soothing. It’s not hard to figure out where it’s coming from, the path to the spare room having become second nature to you- although, it really wasn’t much of a spare room anymore. You try not to be too loud when you enter the room through the cracked door.

   Kurt is humming sweetly, your son laid out on the changing table as Kurt finishes worming his pudgy little legs through a new onesie. The baby whines a little, squirming around as Kurt attempts to change his clothes. 

    “Patience, Mein kleiner Schatz. This won’t take long.” Kurt says sweetly. Your son isn’t really having this whole changing business, and it makes Kurt chuckle. His tail is wrapped around a bottle of milk, and he sets it to the side right before he snakes his tail over the crib. He brushes the spaded end lovingly over your baby’s cheek as a distraction, and the infant coos as he finishes getting his arms through the sleeves. His tail takes over from there, buttoning the onesie's clasps as he turns to grab the bottle of milk instead- stopping for a split second when he sees you in the doorway. Kurt smiles.

    “How are my boys?” You ask, voice a little rough from sleep.

    “Gut! And lively, it seems.” He tells you. He passes the bottle off to his tail again when you walk over, taking you into his arms as he shakes the formula up a little more. Kurt kisses you sweetly on the lips, pressing his forehead against your own when you separate. 

    “Guten Morgen, Schatz. How are you feeling?” You swear you fall in love with him all over again each day when he greets you like that. You shrug your shoulders in response, smile dropping just a little bit.

    “I’m okay. Still tired, and definitely still bloated, but I’m okay.” You admit. Kurt frowns a little, brushing some hair from your face.

    “Did you see the medicine I left for you on the nightstand?” Kurt asks, and you immediately make a bit of a silly face, remembering that you didn’t exactly get up on your own side of the bed today. Kurt knows what that looks means and begins to laugh, just as your son begins to whimper and whine to be held and fed. You try to go pick him up, but Kurt stops you as he picks your baby up instead, bottle at the ready.

   “Go take your meds, I’ve got him, Liebchen.”

Remy LeBeau

Remy is a little nervous to be a dad.

Not in a flight way!! He's just a little worried that he'll be a bad influence on the kiddo. and well, I mean sure. If you're worried about the kiddo being a little rager and being into a few to many wild hobbies I guess (usually comes with the cajun territory)- but overall, Gambit is such a sweetheart, and if anything his kiddos would be so respectful and loving towards their parents.

Remy's very protective over your baby. The protectiveness is at it's height around 0-3yrs of age, but it never, ever goes away completely.

He might talk some smack about how a little bit of dirt/germs never hurt anyone, but He's actually the kind of dad that makes everyone put germex on before even thinking about holding the baby.

He's on top of feedings, and never fears a blowout when it comes to changing diapers (no matter how much he might gag). He might not have the diaper back stocked and loaded 24/7, but he's doing the best he can.

    When you wake up, It’s about 3am. Your eyes blink oper wearily, and the light from the alarm clock is practically burning into your eyes. You want nothing more to curl up and go back to sleep, and you almost do, until the time actually registers.

    3am. Its 3am, and you went to bed at 10pm. This is the first time you’ve woken up since then. Your veins feel like ice when you realize that you haven't heard the baby cry once. You rip the cover off of you, breaking out in a panicked run across the hall to check on your newborn. You don’t even realize that Remy isn’t even in bed until you slam the door open and see him standing there, your daughter in his arms as he rocks her to sleep in the rocking chair You breathe a sigh of relief as he looks at you with a tired smile, but your anxiety still remains.

    “Remy? Is she okay?” You whisper, practically leaping over to his side to take the little one out of his arms.

    “She’s Okay, Cher.” Remy replies softly. He stands from the chair, wrapping his hands around your back, the infant snug in between your bodies. You sigh again, taking a moment to look at your daughter carefully, eyeing her chest as it rises and falls, and straining your ears to hear her breathing. Remy gives you a second to get situated, yawning just a bit as he sways the three of you as you stand there. You relax as he holds you both, resting your head against his shoulder.

    “Why don’ you go back to bed.” Remy says after a long minute. “That was the longest I’ve seen you sleep in a while.” You frown. He’s not wrong. Your newborn has been a bit colicky lately, crying for nights on end since you brought her home with very few things to keep her comfortable. She has started to grow out of it, but the effects still remained. She cries a lot at nighttime, and it makes you wonder if that’s why you had slept so long, because of Remy staying up to keep her quiet.

    “And leave you here? Remy, how long have you been awake?” You ask, looking up at his face. He shrugs, smiling still as the three of you sway.

    “I’m fine. I can stay up all night if I need to, as long as you get to catch up on some sleep.” If it were any other circumstance, you might have swooned at the words. As sweet is he is, you can’t let him do that! He begins to step away to place your daughter in her crib, and you hold yourself back from trying to take her from him and commanding him to just go to bed.

    “Remy-”

    “Ah ah ah, Cher, don’t wake ma petit, now.” Remy cuts you off with a whisper, turning around to place a finger against his lips in a shushing motion. He almost makes you giggle, but instead, you simply shake your head at him. He pulls you into a loving kiss when he’s close enough, running his hand through your hair. You know he’s waiting for you to pull back, to retreat into the bedroom to sleep like he asked you to, but you’re still hesitant. He knows your stubbornness firsthand and chuckles when he pulls back a little.

    “Do I need to tuck you in, too?”

[celandeline]

I'm thinking about Carl being insecure about his eye. y/n found a way to comfort him. Imagine what comic Lydia did, LOL. But just write whatever you like

i got a little carried away with this one, so it's going to be a two-parter (sorry)

also- comic Lydia sticking her tongue in his eye socket haunts me like the plague because i can't decide if it's disgusting, or i too, would do that given the opportunity

Believe Me

Carl Grimes X Reader [part two]

You always make a point to see Aaron off when he’s about to leave to go recruiting. You know that he can handle himself, that he’s done this a million times before, that Daryl would never leave him behind, even if things got sticky - but you never know. Coming back alive is never guaranteed. 

You hold his bag for him while he fumbles with the car keys until it unlocks. “You’re sure you don’t want to take anything else? Another water bottle? More protein bars?”

He turns around to take his pack from you with a smile. “We’re only going to be gone for two days, I think I’ll be alright with just this.”

The rumble of Daryls bike announces his presence before he rolls up beside the car, stopping. “Y’ready?” He gruffs. 

“Almost.” He tosses his bag into the passenger seat before turning to back to you with open arms. “Give me a hug.”

You squish yourself into his chest, and squeeze him as tight as you can. “Bye Dad. Be safe.” 

You feel him swallow, and hold you a little tighter. Calling him Dad is still a little new, and it makes him tear up a little more often than not. He’s not your biological father - no, your biological parents died years ago at this point - but he has become a father to you, ever since you started living with him and Eric. 

“You too.” He says, pulling back to look you in the eye. “And make sure Eric doesn’t try the stairs alone again please. He’s not as good at maneuvering in that boot as he thinks he is.”

You grin, and jokingly salute. “Yes sir.”

He slips into the driver's seat, and then he and Daryl are pulling away, heading towards the gates. You watch them go until they round the corner, and try to put your nerves to rest. The sound of plastic wheels on the sidewalk is a welcome distraction, and you turn around to see Carl pushing Judith along in the stroller.

He smiles when you turn around, and you return the gesture. “They’re going out again?” He asks, nodding in the direction your dad and Daryl went. 

“Yeah.” You say. “Only for a couple days this time, but you know.” You never really know when you’re coming back. If you’re coming back. 

He nods, and Judith gurgles happily in her stroller, reaching for the hem of your shirt. “You wanna join?” He asks. “M’ just taking her around the cul de sac before I bring her home for her nap.”

“Sure.” You say, welcoming the distraction from worrying about if this is the time that Aaron doesn’t come back. You fall into step beside Carl as he pushes the stroller along, following the sidewalk, passing by the houses of friends and neighbors. It’s quiet, the middle of the day with most of the adults at work - whatever that may be. It almost feels like you, Carl, and Judith are the only people in this whole town. 

“You think you’re gonna do that?” Carl asks. “Go recruiting with Aaron when they decide we’re old enough for real jobs?”

“I don’t know.” You say, honestly. “I mean, I guess I wouldn’t worry so much if I was with him, but then Eric would worry twice as much. And I don’t have a whole lot of experience out there - I was only on my own for a couple of months before Aaron found me and brought me here. You’d be good though,” You glance over at him. “I mean, you’ve got loads of experience out in the real world.”

He shakes his head. “Nah- I mean, yeah I’m experienced, but I don’t think they want the kid with the mangled face being the one to go make first impressions on new people.” He grins, halfheartedly joking, “Don’t want to scare ‘em off.”

“Huh?” You laugh, looking over at him. “What’re you talking about?”

He rolls his eye. “C’mon.” He says. “I know what I look like. Sending the ugly guy out there to try and recruit people probably isn’t the best image for our group.”

“Carl.” You say, brow furrowing. “Do you know what you look like?” You’re so confused - sure, he’s missing an eye, but he’s still the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen. The eye that he still has is the kind of blue that makes you think of the sky on a sunny day, and you’d kill for hair like his - long and silky and a dark brown that makes his blue eye stand out even more. He looks like a fairy tale prince. 

He glances at you. “You’re looking at me like I’m stupid.”

You laugh. “I mean how could you not be, when-” 

“Wow, thanks.” He snarks, cutting you off. 

“Shut up.” You say, knocking your shoulder into his. “I was trying to say that you’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen, before you interrupted me.”

You words hang in the air, and he looks steadfastly ahead. The only sounds are the plastic stroller wheels rolling on the sidewalk, and Judith’s occasional little noises. You can see a blush rising to his cheeks, and bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling, lest he think you’re making fun of him. 

“You’re just saying that ‘cause we’re friends, and you’re trying to be nice.” He says. 

“‘M not.” You insist. “It’s true - you’re really pretty, Carl.”

He still won’t look at you. “Half my face is just a hole.”

“Which just makes you look cool and badass.” You say, trying to peer around his curtain of hair to get him to look at you. He still won’t look at you, and the redness on his face has only gotten worse. “You still don’t believe me.”

He shakes his head, slowing as you reach the steps up to the porch of his house. He walks around to the front of the stroller to unbuckle Judith and lift her out of the seat. She slumps against his shoulder, obviously ready for her nap. “Um.” Carl looks down at the stroller. “Could you-?”

“Gotcha.” You say, folding up the stroller and carrying it up the porch steps after Carl. He opens the door and you follow him inside, gently kicking it shut behind you. “Where-?”

“Uh, we usually just leave it by the door.” He says over his shoulder as he starts up the stairs. “Let me just put her down-” He disappears around the bend in the landing, and you prop the folded stroller against the wall next to the door. You loiter at the bottom of the stairs until Carl appears at the top again, still a little pink. 

He comes down the steps and leads the way into the living room, towards the couch. You plop down onto the sofa, turned to face him next to you. “So-”

“Can we talk about something else?”

“No.” You grin. “Not until you believe me.”

He rolls his eye. “Fine. I believe you.”

“I mean really believe me.” You say. “What’s it going to take?”

“I don’t know.”

“Fine.” You say. “Where’s the nearest mirror?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

He pauses for a moment before responding. “I have one in my room.”

You get up from the couch and creep upstairs, careful to keep quiet so as to not wake Judith, Carl a reluctant half step behind you. He points you in the direction of his room, and you slip inside, holding the door open for him before shutting it quietly. The mirror isn’t anything special, just a rectangle of glass hanging above the dresser, but you grin at the sight of it anyway. 

Grabbing him by the shoulders, you steer him in front of the mirror, watching over his shoulder. “See?”

“Yup.” He says, unenthused. “I see this every day, actually.”

“Apparently not.” You say, moving a hand from his shoulder to gently play with his hair. “I mean, look at this.” You hold the lock up in front of his gaze. “Your hair is gorgeous. And-” You drop his hair in favor of softly holding his jaw, turning his head so that his jawline is more prominent. “This.” You run a finger along the line of his jaw. “This too.” You turn his head again so that you can sweep your touch over the bridge of his nose. “And of course,” You thumb over his cheek, tapping each of his freckles. Your hand still on his cheek, you grin at him in the mirror. “You’re blushing.”

“What are you doing?” He asks, soft. 

“Showing you.” You say. 

“Why?”

“Because you should know.” You say. “And it’s personally offensive when you say you’re ugly, because that means you think the guy I’ve been flirting with is a total dud.”

It takes him a minute to process it, and you can see it in his eye when he puts it together. “You’ve been flirting with me?”

“Maybe you are stupid.” You muse. 

You didn’t think it was possible, but he turns even more red. “I don’t- really? Me? Why?”

“Jesus Christ Carl, how far am I going to have to go before you believe that I like you.” You laugh. 

He makes eye contact with you through the mirror. “As far as you want.”

[sansaorgana]

Hello love! I've just found your Buck fics and I love them!! Please can you write one where Buck comes home from the war but he has nightmares from being in the POW camp and he always manages to wake himself up before he wakes the reader up but one night you wake up first and then the reader wakes him up and tries to calm him down and reassure him that he's safe. Just Buck clinging onto his girl to remind himself that he's home? Thank you!

hi love! 🌺 thank you for this request! I love writing Buck fics no matter what but tbh I was growing a bit tired of the stories happening on the base etc. and I'm in love with some domestic Buck back at home! the next story I am going to write is about dad!Buck and I can't wait to write that one, too 😻 btw I mentioned Meatball here as usual because I love this dog and I miss him and I know Buck is technically not his owner but I love to imagine him adopting Meatball after the war lol

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

You were lucky – not only was your husband back home, but he was back home normal. Except for a few scars on his face and a few on his body, Buck seemed to be completely alright. It was almost alarming how normal he was.

He was the same man he had been before the war. Not that you had known him for long before – you had gotten married pretty fast, knowing that he could not come back from Europe. But to you he seemed to be the same man. He was soft for you, always trying to give you a smile, calm and stoic most of the time but also could make a good joke or tease a little. He seemed to act the same and you always wondered about it. You knew that he had to live through unimaginable horrors up in the air and when he was in the German camp. But he would never talk about it and you didn’t want to push him to talk.

You were a member of the local society for military wives and widows. You had meetings twice a week in the evening in a room given to you for that purpose by the local church. This community had helped you a lot mentally when Buck was in Europe, especially when he was in Germany. There were women with stories like yours… but worse. Some husbands were lucky enough to come back like your Buck – nearly scratched on the surface. But all those wives would eventually come back with some depressive story. One husband started to drink, the other started to be abusive, a few were constantly shell-shocked. Or traumatised as it was called now.

But not your Buck.

Sometimes you felt stupid for even speaking during those meetings. You felt as if you had no right to be there. Everything was fine with your Buck. He had never been a drinker and he was not now either. Even the war couldn’t change that. He didn’t start to gamble or sleep around either. There were many stories of infidelity. But once again, not from your Buck.

You even asked him about it one day. You just couldn’t believe – after listening to all these women’s stories – that he had been such a good and loyal husband to you. But he only looked at you as if you were crazy.

No, your Buck was not a cheater either.

“Recently I feel like these other women there don’t like me,” you told your friend when you were walking back home after one of the meetings in the evening. It was dark already but you lived in a safe neighbourhood and on the same street. You had become friends because both of you had husbands in Europe. But hers hadn’t come back.

“I’m not going to lie, (Y/N),” she sighed as you stood in front of her house. All the lights inside were off. Poor thing lived all alone now. “It’s difficult not to envy you.”

“It’s not like Buck had it easy!” You got defensive. “He went through hell!”

“I know,” she smiled sadly. “But he doesn’t show it.”

“I’m lucky, I know,” you took a deep breath in.

“Yes, you are. But I feel like all of them are lucky. Even the ones with drinking and cheating husbands. I wish mine was like that, too… At least he’d be back with me,” her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, darling…” You leaned in to give her a hug and kissed her cheeks. “Go, make yourself a tea, watch something on TV and go to sleep. I have to go now, it’s late. I’ll visit you tomorrow for coffee,” you promised her and she nodded her head.

You waved at each other goodbye and you crossed the street to go back home, too.

Surprisingly, Buck wasn’t waiting for you on the porch. He would usually do that because he wanted to make sure you’d come back home safely from the meetings.

Not only was he not on the porch but also all the lights inside your house were off, too. And when you wanted to enter the house, you noticed the doors were locked. You sighed and reached for the key inside your purse.

When you entered the house, you were greeted with silence. You locked the door behind you and took a walk around all the rooms on the ground floor. Meatball was sleeping on the carpet in the living room and you scratched him behind his ear before going upstairs.

Buck was in bed already, asleep. You smiled to yourself as you approached him to fix his duvet and put a kiss on his forehead. He had been struggling with a headache for the whole afternoon so you just wanted to leave him in peace, glad that he was finally resting. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, just like a little boy.

Quietly, you went to the bathroom to prepare yourself to go to bed, too. It was still quite early but you didn’t want to wake him up with the sound of TV or a radio.

When you were in your nightgown already, you turned the light in the bathroom off and you joined Buck in bed. You weren’t very sleepy so you just laid on your side and watched his side profile. You smiled to yourself and caressed one of the scars on his cheek gently.

After a while, when you were starting to drift off to sleep, you got startled by Buck’s sudden movement. He tossed around as his face winced a little. You furrowed your brows and rested on your elbow. He moved once again and trembled as incoherent words were leaving his half-parted lips.

You realised he was having a nightmare and it was painful to watch. He no longer reminded you of a peaceful boy. He was scared. You had never seen your husband scared.

“Buck, baby,” you whispered softly as you grabbed his arm, trying to shake him out of his dream. “Buck, come back to me, hey…”

His eyes opened as he sat up rapidly, taking deep breaths and wiping the fresh sweat off of his face.

“Buck…” You asked quietly and he turned around like he was surprised to see you there.

“(Y/N)... You’re back already?” He furrowed his brows as his lower lip trembled.

“Yes. What’s going on?” You asked him and tried to move closer but he flinched. You remained still, feeling a little hurt at his rejection. “Buck, what’s going on? You had a nightmare?”

“Yes, it’s fine,” he lied.

“It happens sometimes. Why don’t you want me to touch you?” You asked, carefully.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he confessed and hid his face in the palm of his hands.

“What?” You shook your head awkwardly. “You couldn’t know, come on, Gale, we all get bad dreams sometimes…” You caressed his back. His white shirt was wet from the sweat. You sighed and moved closer. He didn’t flinch this time and you tugged on the fabric of his shirt. “Come on, baby, let me help you change. You need a new pair of pyjamas.”

“It’s not sometimes,” he mumbled and you stopped pulling his shirt.

“Hm?” You asked and gently moved his hands away from his face. Your heart sank in your chest at the sight of the tears in the corners of your husband’s eyes. You had seen him cry only on special occasions like your wedding day or when he was back home. He hadn’t even cried when he was leaving because he didn’t want to make it even sadder and more difficult for you.

“I said…” Buck’s voice trembled, “that it’s not sometimes. I have them all the time, those dreams,” he explained.

You went silent for a while and then you left the bed to turn the small light on and sit back on the edge of the bed, holding his hands.

“Why haven’t you told me?” You asked, worryingly.

“I didn’t want you to worry and…” Buck took a deep breath in as he looked down. “...I didn’t want to spoil your life. I wanted to be the same as I was before. I didn’t want to come back only to ruin everything, to be weaker. It would be a disappointment for you.”

“Buck, stop,” you cupped his face and made him look at you again. His cheeks were damp already and it was breaking your heart. “I can’t listen to this, stop,” you shook your head and leaned in to press your forehead to his. “Baby, you can’t hide such things from me. You’re in pain and I’m your wife. I’m here to help you with the burden.”

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You are not one, you will never be. But you are carrying it and I want to help you. Oh, Buck, baby…” You hugged him and caressed the back of his head.

After a while of hesitation, he clinged to you and hid his face in the crook of your neck. You started to shush him and caress his back as you rocked him softly in your arms.

“Now, get out of that wet shirt,” you moved away slightly and helped him to take off his pyjamas.

You took them to the bathroom to put them in the laundry bin and you got him a fresh pair out of the closet.

“Do you want something to drink?” You asked and he shook his head as he was putting on his new pair of pyjamas. You waited for him to finish and you turned the light off before joining him in bed again.

“Gale, baby, come here,” you opened your arms and he laid his head down on your chest. You hugged him tight and placed a kiss upon his forehead. “What are your nightmares about?” You dared to ask.

“I’m back in Germany and they’re shooting us like dogs and I just… I just want to go back home to you,” he whispered as his voice broke. You felt tears forming in your eyes. “It’s so cold and I’m hungry and I realise that I won’t see you again. And it’s killing me to know that… That you’re here and you won’t ever see me again, too. And how heartbroken you will be when they tell you I’m dead. Even facing death I’m more scared and worried about you,” he continued. After opening up finally, he wanted to let it all out and you were listening to it while caressing his back gently. “I remember that song playing while we were dancing at our wedding. I remember you in that white dress, I remember your smile. And I think that’s when they kill me.”

“Gale…” you couldn’t stand to listen to it anymore. You didn’t want to shut him up but it was painful for you, too. “You’re home with me, love. You’re home with me, everything is alright now. You’re safe,” you assured him and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. “I won’t let anyone… anything, harm you,” you added.

Usually it was him telling you such things.

“Next time you have a nightmare, wake me up, please, baby,” you pleaded and he nodded but you knew he wouldn’t do that. He was too proud for that. You sighed and squeezed him tighter in your arms. “I love you, Gale.”

But he didn’t answer. He was already back asleep, tugging on your nightgown like a little boy. However, you were glad to see him so peaceful again.

It turned out that no man came back the same.

Not even your Buck.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[death---dealer]

I genuinely feel like caesar would freak a bit with his mate ended up having twins like my man's is like "how?-, magic dick? What?". I would probably be rare for apes to have more then one kid at a time so like twins? He's definitely confused lol.

Who sent this and how do you know I'm a twin.

Caesar would be the least surprised, I think out of all of them given he's probably heard about humans having twins so the association is there. Now, actually seeing you pregnant with twins? Terrifying, probably was shell shocked for a few days when the Ape Midwives told him.

Normal pregnancy was terrifying as is, given humans carry much larger than Female Apes do but Caesar finds it absolutely astonishing at how your body is even able to do that. Two babies in such a small space, he's marveled at it and finds himself almost always touching your stomach to keep the cargo safe ( rekcon he'd do it if you were just carrying one lol ). Hands on you at all times.

Oh my god his fear turns to subdued pride when he talks to Rocket about him and Rocket gives him minor praise for being able to not only do the impossible, but to do it twice at one time and Caesar's like in his mind 'I am the Ape King for a reason.'

And then actually having two babies once you give birth? Lord help the Ape King, carrying both of them to his council meetings while you were resting, their tiny faces pressing into his chest and making noises.

He'll definitely enlist the help of Blue Eyes though, if he feels unable to care for both at the same time. Caesar does know his weaknesses like that and it's a very, very good tactic to have Blue Eyes bond with each baby individually.

The council meetings where Blue Eyes is holding one and Caesar is holding the other and in the middle of talking about a human camp that was encroaching near the border of the Colony, they switch so each of them get to know Caesar and Blue Eyes affectionately.

GIRL/GIRL DUO LET CEASAR BE A GIRL DAD. That's it that's the thought could you imagine how protective he'd be of them? How worried he'd be knowing that they're half of you, half human and more fragile. Caesar goes straight into dad mode.

ACK THE APES OF THE COLONY FINDING YOU MATCHING CLOTHES IF THEY EVER RUMMAGE THROUGH LIKE A DEPARTMENT STORE? KILL ME NOW. Like, they throw you a little baby shower sort of thing and give you gifts and things they've found for the babies. Toys, clothing, blankets. They're all so excited for Caesar to be blessed with not one more, but two.

Caesar gets them confused, especially when they're young don't @ me. The Ape has good eye sight, but they do look remarkably similiar, their features almost carbon copies of your own and it's absolutely funny to watch him stumble when someone asks if they can hold a certain one and he offers them the wrong baby.

Oh my god him watching you breastfeed. sure, females Apes do it, he had seen Cornelia do it with Blues Eyes but this?? You talking to them while doing it? Brushing your fingers through their tiny fur lined body? Caesar is slow to approach, plucking one of them gently into his arms and relishes the feeling of their fingers grasping his fur. He holds one while you feed the other and is one of his favorite bonding activities.

Noa has no idea until you actually give birth that there were even two of them inside of you. Mind you, he's probably never seen an Echo pregnant before so your size, the jutting out nature of your stomach is definitely a sight to behold as is. Acutely protective of you at that stage, probably won't even let you up into the Eagle Enclosure because there are open walls and the walk up there is deemed spiraling and dangerous.

You're absolutely beautiful though, there's no denying that as Noa rests his face against your stomach once you're further along and feels the tiny fluttering kicks against his cheeks. Less prominent with a Female Ape, but the movement against your stretching skin is powerful and he definitely makes the joke that it's his child you're carrying as he cradles the bottom of it and tenderly gives it a stroke. You just roll your eyes but have to agree with him. Definitely his as they come around and kick at your ribs.

NOW LISTEN. Once you give birth to one, I think it would come as a complete shock to EVERYONE helping you at the time that there was another. That Dar, in her happy craze of having a grand-child, realizes you're crowning again. Chaos, there's chattering as you're suddenly pushing again and the Apes there, Noa included are scrambling as he holds the one that was already out in his arm protectively. Noa is snapping at his Mother, asking what is happening and she has no clue as another baby is taken from between your legs. Noa is in absolute shock as you're handed the other, crying and kissing their bloodied forehead. "There's... two...." He utters quietly, looking down at the one in his grasp. "two?"

Even a week later once you're in your nest of comfort, the two small bundles next to you he is absolutely shell-shocked look at them and then at you. "TWO?"

Boy/Girl Duo. ( I'm not biased you'RE BIASED. ) Best of both worlds, NOA DESERVES IT.

Surprising Soona and Anaya. Probably panicked Soona when Noa told her that there was news regarding the baby. ( presuming it to be bad ). And was shocked beyond her life when Noa showcased the first baby, and you came rolling around from Noa's back with another. The slow realization. Very slow. Soona gasps and is literally bursting at the seams as she makes her way forward, leaving Anaya who is on the ground, on his back having fainted. THERE'S TWO OF THEM?

Anaya and Soona watching over them as they're a bit older to give you and Noa some time to yourselVES. Anaya showing the baby boy his scavenged teddy bear collection, Soona is rolling her eyes holding the baby girl and tells him that they're just babies and they don't understand. Anaya knows. Anaya just likes to talk to them because they look so much like a mixture of Noa and yourself and he himself can't believe there's literally two of them???

SOONA MAKING YOU A HOLDER SO YOU CAN CARRY BOTH OF THEM? Both against your chest, both close to each other like they were in the womb. ACHHHHHH.

Do not get my STARTED ON WHAT A DOTING GRANDMOTHER DAR WOULD BE. You know she would be, with how much she loves Noa and how proud she is of him. And she's proud of you for having to deal with his antics ( at times. ) She'd give you advice because they are a hybrid ape/human and there are some aspects you're unsure of.

Blue Eyes will take it with stride, the man loves to breed, you don't think that two at one time wouldn't be an absolute TREAT? Like the confidence that would hit him when he's looking at you pregnant anyway, but the midwive Apes telling the two of you that they were able to detect two inside? He's amazed. Flabbergasted and it probably does keep him up at night occasionally if he thinks too hard about it and how statistically, it was improbable. Reality doesn't hit him until he's got two of his offspring in his hands for the first time, his gaze looking at each one individually and marveling to you how incredible it was that you managed to do this. Softly, you'll smile at him as you take one of the babies into your arms and feel your mate shifting so he could sit in front of you rather than beside you and you whisper gently, "We did this together, you know." 'Does it have a phrase? A... word. For... two?' Blue Eyes is signing with his free hand, the other caressing the tiny baby close to his chest to keep them wrapped in his warmth. You knew what he was alluding to and nodded, "Twins. That's what they're called. Two babies, one time." Blue Eyes then gets quiet as he looks at the tiny nature of the being in his arms and then sweeps his gaze towards the one you're holding as a thought rockets through him and he feels a bit of fear tingling the back of his mind as he asks you verbally, "Will... Happen... again?" You stutter a bit and look down at the two you already have. "Y-You want to have four?" 'Maybe more.'

Boy/Boy DUO BABY. It's what Blue Eyes deserves oh my god i'm sobbing.

Imagine him talking to his babies when he thinks you're asleep, both of them staring up at him in wonder as he's chattering in a very, very low tone of voice about things like hunting and how excited Blue Eyes was to take them with him some day.

OH YM GOD THE pridE FROM CAESAR when Blue Eyes finally breaks away from you and he's praising his son for doing such a good job, telling him that it was rare with humans as is and he managed to do it with you?? My god??? Blue Eyes is just beaming at himself. The Prince knows he did a good job but to hear it from his Father? MY HEART?

NAMING THEM AFTER OTHER ROMAN EMPERORS? HELLO? Marcus and Antonius ( Anton affectionately )?? The names are in honor of Caesar himself and Blue Eyes loves that your Human knowledge led him to such strong names for his sons.

Anaya faints.

That's it. That's all. Just kidding. Much like Noa, he has no idea that you're carrying two of them for much of the same reason. Has never seen an Echo pregnant before but he is adversely at your beck and call. Any cravings you want, he is on it? Want a ripe mango from the top of the tree? Anaya's got you two of them, knowing you're going to want a second when you had only asked for one. Obsessed with holding and cradling your bump, especially when you're laying on your side in the nest taking a mid day nap and he comes in, looking for something that he had left behind that he needed and he always takes a moment to place his hand on you and feel the gentle pull of the movement.

Once you're giving birth though, I have a feeling he's a bit tethered to looking at the wall rather than looking at what was happening, though Anaya is by your side the entire time, your hand digging into his palm as you give a push and the first cry hits his ears. He's a crying mess at that point, the baby being displayed by Dar who hands it up to you, Anaya pressing his hand against their head so so gently. Dar is gentle to help you ease your legs shut so you can get some comfort but?? Uh. THERE'S ANOTHER RIGHT BEHIND THE FIRST. Immediate, Anaya going soft panic launched as he's instructed to hold the one that was given to the two of you seconds ago and things are repeating themselves. From the screams, Anaya looking down in shock at the baby he was cradling, their tiny features not able to be clearly seen as they were not cleaned off yet. And within moments, there's another cry to harmonize with the one he was tendering cradling. There's... He's seeing two, handing off the one that he was holding back to you so they could join the other and tangle themselves against your chest before he is FLAT on the FLOOR and Dar is trying to get him to wake him up, calling for Noa to come help.

Boy/Boy Duo, could you imagine having tiny little Anaya's trying to STEAL FRUIT FROM THE ELDERS? They get scolded to by Noa for being little pests but it's done with lovE?

Noa and Soona finding out there's two of them? Two little Anaya's? Kill me now.

Noa had a vague idea, having to help Anaya off the floor after he fainted, and he swore he saw two little bodies then but he was not sure until he's finally invited along with Soona to the nest Anaya and you share and you're each holding one?

Soona is shocked before she smiles and nudges Noa who is way more shocked than she is, having fallen completely silent. "Said Anaya could never," He said joking towards his friends and raised the one in his arms up a bit, "Did it and ended up with two!!"

Soona and Noa weaving them tiny little bracelets so they could tell them apart and the bracelets become arm bands as they grow older, one blue and one orange. Someone sedate me.

THEM BEING RAISED WITH SOONA AND NOA'S CHILD? ANOTHER SUNSET TRIO DON'T TOUCH ME. They'd become inseparable, causing chaos throughout the village with their little antics.

Koba.

Oh my god don't look at me seriously i'm about to go FERAL.

You cannot tell me that he would not be ARROGANTLY PROUD TO KNOW that he got you pregnant with twins? Two at once baby? Of course he did, he's the best bonobo to exist and you should consider yourself lucky to even be carrying his offspring, let alone TWO of them at once.

He is an absolute legend as he's discussing with Caesar one day, your back turned to him as you were shuffling to pick something up, unable to see past your large bump and Koba was refusing to come help you ( don't worry, he just wants to let you suffer just enough before he comes to help ) and Koba is gloating, telling his closest friend that it's definitely two boys. There's no way otherwise.

TWO GIRLS FOR KOBA. He feels a bit of envy that you had gotten what you wanted, you selfish little human and he ought to rip your entire face off until he finally... finally sees them with his golden and green eyes for the first time. This, he thinks to himself, this is going to be fun.

Tearing into anyone who even looks at them. NO THEY ARE HIS YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE IN THEIR BODIES.

Tearing into anyone who even talks about them. NO THEY ARE HIS AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN TALK ABOUT THEM.

Adverse protectiveness over the things that are his as innate fear might hit Koba that he could lose it all ( considering what happened to his own mother. )

Asdfajkf taking them to a council meeting though because you had pestered to him that you were tired and Koba begrudgingly heading up to the perch, both of them wrapped securely for warmth and splattered against his chest as they made small noises. He's bi-pedal, Caesar raising his brow ridge upon Koba's entrance and seeing both of the babies. In silence, Koba hands Caesar one and grunts before sitting in his spot to take in the meetings, snarling at Blue Eyes next to him who was watching with too much curiosity. Koba probably getting aggressive with his hands once or twice causing the baby to cry out and he has to tone it down before rocking the tiny baby against his chest, their little fingers tucking into his thinned fur.

oh MY GOD YOU PUT LITTLE TWINE BOWS INTO THE FUR ON THEIR HEAD? One dyed red and the other dyed purple, naturally from crushed up flower petals. Koba goes ballistic on you because he ( actually doesn't but it's such a stupid vain human thing ?? ) thinks they look foolish. Scoffing, you just cross your arms and push your chest up ( good tactic for a bonobo who likes boobies, them bad boys are full of milk gulp gulp ) and he just huffs and paces back and forth.

[jedipoodoo]

The Other Woman (Sergeant Hunter x Reader)

Notes: miscommunication Trope, Hunter is a Girl Dad™, single fatherhood is hot, how can you hate Omega?? Tbh this is kinda goofy lol.

"Ah, kriff."

Hunter glanced at the glow of his comm and leaped off the couch, running around your house to grab his jacket and his shoes.

"Hunter?" you paused the holo film as he put his shoe on the wrong foot, and quickly had to change it.

"What's wrong?"

He glanced between you and the glow of the holo screen, with his hands held out as if to placate you.

"I am so sorry, I gotta go, my girl's expecting me."

You blinked once. Twice. Then there was a rushing in your ears as your entire world crumpled around you.

"Your...girl?" you asked, fists digging into the cushions of your couch. You had spent months flirting with Hunter, agonizing over whether of not he might like you back. When he asked you if you'd like a date, your heart soared to the moons and beyond. For reasons beyond you, you had invited him into your house, cooked him dinner, only to crash back down to the ground and find out he had someone else.

Hunter was completely oblivious to your sudden moral panic as he started talking about "his girl".

"She's brilliant, kinder than anyone I've ever met, and smart as a whip."

"Glad she's such a catch," You snapped, getting up and marching over to the door.

Hunter finally recognized the anger, radiating off you in waves.

"Is everything alright?"

You barked a humorless laugh.

"Is everything alright? You tell me, Mr. Dark-and-broody! Being in a relationship with multiple people at the same time may have been simple enough during the war, but not here! Not with me!"

His face fell.

"Oh right! I forgot, they didn't teach you any of that on Kamino." It was a particularly cruel barb, but you didn't care. You wanted Hunter to feel as utterly humiliated as you did right now.

"I... I don't understand..." Hunter mumbled, wringing his jacket in his hands.

"Let me spell it out for you then, Sergeant," You slammed the release on your front door and it hissed open, "Get out. Your girl may be okay with this, but I won't play second fiddle to anyone, not in this kind of relationship."

The only sound was the chittering of the sea crickets, a mournful melody that echoed the crestfallen look on Hunter's face. When he didn't move, you pointed him emphatically out the door. The moment he crossed the threshold, you shut and locked the door.

Then you collapsed into a ball and cried.

Did it amuse the force to play with your love life like this? You'd never had the courage to say yes to a date before. You were the kind of kid that got asked out only for it to turn out to be a joke.

Hunter was different. Hunter was supposed to be different. Everyone in the marketplace would talk him up all the time, from his heroics during the war, to the hard work he put in to help rebuild the island. You couldn't believe your good fortune at last when he asked you out.

Of course it was too good to be true.

You cried, curled up at the edge of the doorway until your spine began to protest. Even with all the energy drained out of you so furiously, you knew your bed would be a much more comfortable place to cry on. And there was still ice cream left in the fridge.

You ended up sleeping in the next morning. You didn't mean to. You woke up with your alarm first, but every part of you was just so sore and you were so exhausted, you just had to close your eyes for a few minutes.

A few minutes turned into a few hours.

It was noon when you finally made it to your noodle stall in the Archium, right next to Pilate's ice cone stand.

"You're late," The older man chuckled good naturedly as you started a fresh batch of pasta, "Your gentleman friend was here early this morning, waiting for you."

You tried not to grimace at the mention of Hunter. Your eyes were still red, but a wide rimmed hat hid that fact from your neighbors.

"Is he still here?"

"No, he left about an hour ago, said something about meeting an Omega."

Ah, so that was her name. You dped the hot water into your drain, not caring that it splashed everywhere.

"Everything alright?" Pilate asked.

"Peachy."

When you refused to elaborate, Pilate stopped pushing. It was lunch hour, so you soon had a line of customers stretching out around the Archium. You plastered on your customer service face and thanked all of them for their patronage, despite the anger that you held in your chest. It was shockingly easy to pretend you were perfectly fine when you had so many emotions bubbling beneath the surface.

For starting your day late, you were making a pretty decent profit. After the first couple of hours, business slowed down, but it would be just as busy during the dinner hour, and you had a few regulars that would pop in for an afternoon snack from time to time.

Lyanna Hazard was one such regular. She skipped up to your stall hand-in-hand with a new friend you hadn't met before.

"Hello girls! How can I help you today?" you asked.

"Four shrimp dumplings, please!" Lyanna placed her pocket money on the counter.

"Coming right up!" You ladled the dumplings from fry pit into two bowls, and set them in front of the girls. As you reached for the chopsticks so that they could eat, Lyanna's friend grabbed one with her bare hand

"It's hot!" she yelped, tossing the dumpling from one hand to the other in surprise.

Lyanna giggled, "That's why you use chopsticks, silly!"

Lyanna demonstrated, and her friend watched her, fascinated. With the dumpling balanced precariously on her chopsticks, she tentativelytook a tiny bite.

"Mmm!" she declared. She ravenously finished her dumplings while you laughed, rolling out pasta dough to make more dumplings.

"It's always a pleasure to see someone enjoy my food," You told her.

"It's amazing! My brother told me you were a good cook, but this is even better than I could've imagined!" she said.

"Oh really, who's your brother?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but the universe answered for her.

"Omega!"

You couldn't help the glare that involuntarily tugged on your face when you heard his voice. You spotted the offender halfway across the Archium, looking around, but to your absolute horror, Lyanna's new friend began to wave him over.

"Over here, Hunter!" She called, one hand cupped around her mouth.

You saw his shoulders relax for a moment, and then tense up again. It was the same spooked, father-in-headlights look that he gave you last night when you kicked him out. You wanted to shrivel up and die.

Lyanna and Omega missed this completely, however, and kept waving at Hunter. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here, but he begrudgingly trudged across the marketplace to your stall.

"Heya kids," He said, not quite looking at you.

"Hunter, you gotta try the dumplings!" Omega said, showing him her empty bowl.

"I have," Hunter said. It was part of the meal you'd made for him the night before. You thought you saw him glance at you, but you couldn't be sure. You were determined to stay angry at him, but those gorgeous brown eyes of his were going to be the death of you.

"Well, I'll see you all around then."

You turned your back on them, going back to the filling for the dumplings. You heard Lyanna talking excitedly to Omega about a few more stalls where they could get more food, and when you heard their voices fade away you assumed that all three of them had left.

There were a few moments of blessed silence, but Hunter cleared his throat, and you jumped in surprise.

"I need to talk to you."

You glared at him.

"I have nothing to say to you." you snapped.

"Then don't say anything but just listen-"

"You're a glutton for punishment, aren't-"

"I don't have another partner!" He said quickly.

You blinked, surprised.

"Omega's my little sister. She's my girl. She's who I had to get back to that night." to prove it, he pulled up his comm, sliding it across the table towards you.

You stared at him, suspicious. But you looked at the screen anyway.

Omega: Hunter, when is your date done?

Hunter: we're finishing a movie, kid.

Omega: I can't fall asleep. And Wrecker doesn't sing the Purrgill song as good as you do :(

Hunter: I told you I'd be gone tonight. I'll come say goodnight when I get back.

Omega: :(

You sighed. Omega was very sweet, and you couldn't imagine trying to say no to her on a daily basis.

"I am... So sorry..." You couldn't look at him, sliding his comm back across the countertop.

Hunter said nothing, but placed a hand over yours, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. That should've been one of the first things I told you.

He sighed, "I guess... I'm just not used to sharing everything, especially with new people."

"You're not obligated to share everything with me, you have a right to your privacy."

"I've been a soldier my entire life, and now, I'm trying to figure out how to be anything but. I was talking with Phee and she gave me an earful about how if I'm trying to date or get close to someone, I gotta make my priorities clear."

Hunter looked over his shoulder at Omega. She and Lyanna were at Pilate's stall now, trying to see how many scoops of flavored ice they could stack in one bowl.

"Omega's a good kid, but she hasn't had much of an opportunity to be one. My brothers and I aren't exactly model parents, but we're trying our best to give her the life she deserves."

You nodded, "That's admirable of you."

If you felt humiliated last night, it was nothing compared to the embarrassment you felt now. You'd insulted Hunter when all he was trying to do was take care of his little sister, which, if you thought about it, made him even more attractive than the tattoo and the eyes already did.

"All this to say, your reaction is completely justified with the information you had, and if you're willing, I'd like to try again."

He held out a hand to you, "Let me take you out on a proper date, to make up for all this."

You felt heat rising in your cheeks, "I should be asking how I can make this up for you," You insisted.

"Nonsense, you cooked and cleaned and everything and I tried to cut it short. Let me sweep you off your feet."

You raised one eyebrow. That sounded almost nothing like what he'd usually say.

He winced, "Yeah, I realized it the moment I said it. Phee told me that's what I should do, though I have no idea how to."

You giggled, "That's okay, I'd like that, though."

Hunter's eyes went wide, and you could almost melt into the cobblestones. "That's a yes? You're saying yes?"

"Yes," You giggled some more, and stepped out of your stall to speak face to face.

"I'd love to be swept off my feet by you, so long as it means you forgive me for being a poodoo-head."

"You are not a poodoo-head." Hunter said, placing his hand on your cheek, "You're a brilliant person, and I'd like to get to know you much better than I do now."

You flushed, from his words or his touch, you weren't sure, but you didn't entirely mind it.

You coughed to clear your throat. "So, Mr. Hunter, when should I plan on you picking me up?"

Hunter glanced at your stall, and back to you, "How soon can you close up shop?"

You grinned. You might have gotten a late start, but he didn't need to know that. He could make up for it in his own way.

"For you, Hunter? Right away."

[smiley-babe]

Best Dealer on Campus

warnings: drug use, mutual pining, unprotected sex, slight dubcon (sex while on drugs), aftercare, praise, squirting, overstimulation, fingering, (Megumi has green eyes in this idc, fight me lol).

notes: this has been heavy on my mind and I needed to get this out. 

weed dealer Megumi who is nonchalant as hell, not easily approachable at all but got the best nugs on the university campus. he’s a well known guy, his dad making their last name famous but apparently gives his son nothing. resulting in him making his own monopoly on the school drugs.

weed dealer Megumi charges everyone full price. no matter how much a pretty girl flirts with him or someone offers to do his homework. but you. you always get a discount of some kind.

weed dealer Megumi who offers to smoke with you one day. you had made a joke that he looks stressed out all the time and asked if he partook in his own supply. he didn’t want to look like a complete stick in the mud so he throws it out there. but in truth he’d seen you before. you’re a regular. always joking or teasing him. he can’t even tell if you’re flirting or being goofy but he likes your energy.

weed dealer Megumi who rolls the perfect blunts, packed tight and pretty. you watch his fingers as he does it and your mind wanders. megumi catches you staring at him and smirks a bit. “trying to learn from the master?,” he asks with a raised brow. “master? yeah okay Megumi.” and even after you tease him about the name he still shows you how he gets the perfect wrap.

weed dealer Megumi gets so high with you that his eyes are low, the whites of them reddening slightly. you’re just as bad, giggling at cheesy jokes on some sitcom you put on. he studies you during this time. he feels ashamed to, not wanting to get caught up in his stupid little feelings. but when you meet his low green eyes all of that restraint goes out the window.

weed dealer Megumi who finds himself leaning into you, nose brushing yours as his eyes flit to your lips. your hands thread through his hair as you look back at him. fuck it. the kiss is slow at first, feeling each other out. as soon as you let out a small moan from how his teeth grazed your bottom lip his hands all over you.

weed dealer Megumi who is quick to have you sprawled out and naked on your couch. his long skinny fingers toy with you, flicking over you clit and watching your cute reactions. “please Megumi. just fuck me…” he has to clench his jaw and keep himself composed because of how needy you sound. instead he focuses on pushing two fingers deep into you, reaching spots that made you see stars.

weed dealer Megumi doesn’t stop the rhythm of his fingers even after you got off twice and you try to squirm away. leaves a light swat on your cunt when you try to move. “megumi i want you. please,” you beg him incessantly. has him ditching his clothes and lining his aching cock at your entrance. “you sure?” you nod and pull him down for a kiss.

weed dealer Megumi who, when he finally pushes into your pretty pussy, swears he could live there. he starts with a slow roll of his hips, reveling in how your walls convulse around him. when you look up at him it makes you squeeze him even tighter. a light blush coating his cheeks and the way he clenches his jaw, small pants escaping his lips already. his silver chain dangles over you as you hold your legs open for him, hands on the backs of your thighs. 

weed dealer Megumi can’t stop kissing you while he fucks you deep. likes feeling you moan and whine into his mouth. when he pulls from your lips, obscene curses fly out of him. every time he sinks deeper he feels his head fill with nothing but you. the soft pants and whiney moans leaving your body. “so pretty,” he whispers. “so. fucking. pretty. just like this.” he punctuates his words with hard thrusts. 

 weed dealer Megumi who praises you when you cum around his cock, a strangled cry leaving your mouth and tears spilling from your eyes. “just let it out baby. there you go,” he coos, slowing his pace and wiping your tears with the pad of his thumb. who makes you cum again. the third time he makes you squirt. by this time you’re pushing him away weakly and crying out.

weed dealer Megumi pulls out when he cums, spilling it all over your tummy and panting hard. leaves kisses on your face as you both calm down. “you good?,” he asks. your reply is a weak yes as you a smooth a hand through his wild hair. 

weed dealer Megumi who doesn’t make that time the last and eventually builds up the courage to ask you on a date. he definitely never makes you pay for a gram ever again. 

[gothcsz]

ya know, I always feel like everybody sees Javi as this huge horn dog that would absolutely agree to any threesome stuff and all that.

Buuuut listen. If you were dating that man, he would be possessive as shit. Like if you even dare to think about another guy, like popular one would be Steve. And you even just make a tiny joke about Steve like that, you know Javi would be fucking you so god damn hard that you would forget any other name on the planet except his. He would be so damn possessive, telling you that you know nobody but him could fuck you like this, that you don’t need anybody but him. That man would destroy your 🐱 and make you so cock dumb to make you forget even thinking about another guy.

And he would definitely glare are Steve for a while after and Steve just has no idea what’s going on 😂

possessive/jealous javi is my fucking favoriteeeeee sorry not sorry a bitch just loves a slightly toxic man! and his possessiveness doesn’t even stem from a place of insecurity, lbr, this man is self assured if anything— a cocky POS but he’s our cocky POS.

pobre steve unknowingly in the middle of you and javi’s sex mind games lmfao i def feel like it started as a fleeting comment…

“Yeah, I guess Steve’s kinda cute. His eyes are so pretty.”

and you didn’t even think twice about it. it was just a simple compliment but it still left a weird taste on javi’s tongue.

and then you really start to notice it, the shift in his demeanor when you stop by to visit him at work. you probably chat with steve for a brief moment before walking over to your man and that pisses him off. how are you here to see him but instead are laughing at one of steve’s not funny at all dad jokes?! i dunno he probably starts to make petty comments of his own here and there that tip you off to his jealousy and honestly?

it turns you on. javi is always walking around like he’s got the biggest dick in town (he might actually….) so seeing him this worked up over seemingly nothing… well you’re going to have your fun with it because you’re a fucking brat sometimes.

i’m picturing some bullshit office party where you’ve had one too many to drink so you decide to scratch that itch and lightly flirt with steve (sorry connie we’re being horny over here) in the same way you did with javi when you two first started dating.

and boy does that set him off 😫 he waits until you’re coming back from the restroom before he pulls you into a dark and empty office, absolutely degrading you; calling you a slut and attention whore before harshly pushing you down onto your knees and bruising your throat with the way he’s fucking it.

“Nena esa boquita sucia es mía y de nadie más.”

once you’re a slobbering, sobbing mess, he roughly bends you over whoever’s desk, not even bothering to undress you as he hikes your skirt up and pushes your panties to the side, fucking into you in one stroke and you scream his name out.

the bastard has giant ass smirk on his face through it all, setting a brutal pace as his hips crash into yours repeatedly, his heavy balls slapping against your clit and you’re reduced to being a babbling, fucked out woman as he keeps spilling filth into your ear.

“Who do you belong to?”

“Whose pussy is this?”

“That’s right baby it’s fucking mine. You’re mine.”

and, well, who are you to disagree with that? you cum so hard, your vision is dotted with spots and you genuinely feel like you’re going to pass out with how rough he’s just taken you.

your cunt swollen and so sensitive but you don’t give a damn— squeezing around his cock as he paints your walls with his spend; marking you as his.

your brain is filled with him just as much as your pussy is. as he intended. and it’s a great feeling, really. even if you know you’re going to be sore as hell for the days to come.

let me stop before i go on a tangent (as if i haven’t already lol) but yes…. he’d rock your world that smug asshole!!

[poppykreslina]

Robert Hawkins info Post :

He was a big music fan, here’s a list of artists Rob liked.

1. MushroomHead

2. HIM band

3. BlackStreet

4. Misfits

5. Dr Dre

6. DMX

7. Lil wyte

8. Judas Priest

9. Dope

10.Wall

Anything besides country music

His close Friend he was living with at the time told me about the time when he seen Rob return to school after being sent away. He said “ So a couple years go by and l'm in computer class and he's just like heyyyy what's up man and I go holy shit Robby what's up like where have you been. And I remember him telling me he was like man I got sent away like I tried to kill my step mom because she was being a bitch I sprayed raid on her food. And to me at the time I was like kind of laughing like are you serious and just it sounded so stupid it was kind of funny and l'm just like wth hell but we started talking again just immediately picked up right where we left off we were laughing like hyenas never laughed so hard in my life”

“ We would tell jokes and stories and make fun of people and this time it was like we were best friends I'd see him in the halls and say hi but we never hung out out side of class”

His friend also told me about Kaci. The girl he cheated on like twice

“ I knew Kaci and we were talking and they met then rob asked me if Kaci could come over and yeah they hooked up in my basement lol

I could hear it and it was the funniest thing ever”

“ I remember when he got her too like I was jealous because I had a crush on her for the longest and she was hot she liked me but as soon as she met Rob she was just like omg he's the sexiest person I ever seen and I'm like who rob and you look at him and he's all feeble and like ohhh h-h-heyyyy”

“ My friends were there too and yeah... He put the work in on that poor girl

She was screaming his name and you just heard this smacking noise we were like damn rob”

The girl Rob threatened

“ So the girl that he threatened or whatever was his ex girlfriend and I don't know what they were arguing about but I think it was because he wanted to go back to his girlfriend Kaci he cheated on her with that girl and then he apologized to Kacie said he loved her and didn't want to be with the other girl and she flipped out or something and he just said like leave me alone or l'm gonna k*ll you

He”

About Robs mom Molly

“ That's what really pissed him off too is his mom didn't want anything to do with him at all until she found out he was living with us and he even told me like man my mom's being all nice I think his mom was just jealous or she thought we had money or something but she tricked him into letting her back in his life and she let him borrow that jeep and he was so happy he's like man I finally got wheels my mom is talking to me then she did what she always did she turned in him told him how pathetic he was and that she wanted all her stuff back and that what did it. He couldn't handle it anymore and he snapped

Idk what that lady's problem is but shes evil”

Friend telling me what it was like when living with him

“ I just remembered like sitting down at the dinner table with him and my parents and we would be eating steak like regularly my dad always got good beef and grilled all the time he would always say how good everything was

And he like our dogs was always petting them”

Fake Fight Scene Vids

“We did like fake fight scenes and off roading four-wheeling we go to gun range film us shooting stuff we made a manikin and threw at people from inside the woods

I had this crappy purple truck but I cut the exhaust off it and put mud tires on it and we like tricked it out we put big huge stereo speakers in the back and black lights“

1. He was 5’7 (I asked a family member so don’t question it 😐)

2. He taught his sisters how to do the “blood” sign

3. His friends grandma made him a blanket and Rob said it was the best thing ever given to him. When the grandma passed away he even cried.

4. He had a stonery type voice lol

5. He would smoke a pack of cigarettes in one day

6. He worked at McDonald’s and Runza

7. Day before the shooting his friend tested out his gun while Rob was at work because he thought they were going to the shooting range the next day . When Rob found out about it he was furious telling his friend “you’re not supposed to touch that” going off on him.

Concerts Rob Went to

MushroomHead (2004)

Kottonmouth (2006-7??) Rob and His friend got kicked out of the venue because they were both caught smoking pot

All info found out by me

[vodika-vibes]

i know i just requested something (so sorry abt this😭😭) but i just thought of this!!

a modern AU meet cute with fives!! like a romantic little thing with a gn reader please!! maybe in a cafe or restaurant bc i love food lol

Coffee Cake

Summary: You are a busy person, always running hither and thither, running errands for your boss, your coworkers, and your family. And, every morning, you stop at the same cafe for coffee and a piece of coffee cake and hope that the cute barista will finally notice you.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1440

Prompts: Modern AU

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: So this is less meet cute and more they already had their meet cute and are now friends who want more. I hope you don't mind! I also wrote this in under an hour, without any coffee because I have bloodwork this morning, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes. And I'm, like, 90% sure that I kept this GN, but if I didn't just let me know!

The cafe smells like fresh coffee and fresh pastries. It’s probably the most comforting scent that you know, comforting enough that the moment you step through the doors, stress just falls off your shoulders. 

Stress is a regular part of your life.

Well, okay.

Stress is a regular part of everyone’s lives, but you seem to have twice as much stress compared to everyone you’ve ever spoken to.

“Babe,” They say, “Babe, you’re doing too much. You need to slow down.” And then they dump three weeks' worth of needs on you, and your stress levels just skyrocket.

At this time of day, though, so early that the birds are still waking up and the sun is just barely creeping over the horizon, there are not many people in the cafe. So you’re able to move over to your favorite table and drop all of your stuff on the table.

Technically, your work day doesn’t start for another hour, but you have some emails you need to send, and a speech you need to read over and correct for your friend. Not to mention, Mom needs you to make reservations for her, Dad, and your older sister and brother-in-law at a 5-star resort on the other side of the country.

And then your workday will properly start.

Yay.

You think it’s kind of telling that you’re not invited to the resort for the vacation that you’re scheduling for your family, but you’re not going to call them out on it.

This time.

You jump when someone raps their knuckles on your table, and then turn your head to look at the man standing just to your left.

Tall and broad, with curly hair, a neatly trimmed goatee, and a 5 tattooed on his temple, Fives is probably the biggest reason that you regularly visit this cafe rather than one of the dozens of other cafes in the city.

A small smile crosses your face when you see him standing there, “Good morning, Fives,”

“Morning yourself, early bird,” He teases as he reaches out a tugs on one of your curls, “The coffee cake isn’t done yet, but I do have your coffee.” He sets the paper cup on the table next to your laptop, “Peppermint cream and two sugars, just how you like it.”

You sigh, “You’re an angel among men, Fives.”

He smirks at you, “Oh, I know.”

You laugh quietly and sink into a chair, resting your chin on your knuckles as you look up at him, “Busy morning?”

“Never,” Fives replies as he leans his hip against the table, “You know we have some regulars, but the majority of our clientele is made up of my brothers.”

“Well, you do have a lot of them,” You joke as you pick up the cup and take a sip of the cafe and then pull it back to look at it in surprise, “Did you put—?”

“Whipped cream? Yes, I did. With some chocolate shavings.” Fives replies smugly.

You set the cup back on the table and look up at him, “Marry me?”

“You only want me for my coffee.” He counters with a grin, “I wanted to try something new, if you like it enough I’m going to add it to the menu.”

“Ah, and here I thought you just wanted to spoil me, not that I was playing taste-tester.”

“It can be both,” He says with a shrug, “Anyway, what mess are you cleaning up this morning?”

“Mm…I have some emails I need to send for work. My friend in the governor's office needs me to read over a speech she prepared for the Governer. Oh, and my parents and sister need me to book them a stay in a 5-star resort when they go on vacation.”

“You’re going on vacation?”

“Well, I wasn’t invited.”

“Wait, you weren’t invited but you still have to do all of the work?”

“Yup.”

“Don’t do it.”

“If I don’t then it won’t get done,” You reply.

“Then it doesn’t get done, it’s not your problem.”

You sigh softly, “Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t have time for a vacation anyway.”

Fives stares at you for a moment and then drops into the seat next to you. He smells like coffee and pastries, and there’s a smudge of powdered sugar on his cheek, and it’s all very distracting. 

“You,” Fives says as he takes your laptop and shoves it back into your bag, “do too much. When was the last time you took a vacation?”

“Uh…I dunno, five years ago, maybe? My sister’s wedding.”

“And was that an actual vacation, or did she make you play wedding planner?” Fives asks.

“...I’m feeling very attacked right now.”

“Good, you should.” He takes your hands in his so you aren’t able to grab your laptop, “You deserve better.”

“They’re my family and my friends,”

“Them being family only excuses so much,” Fives counters, “And you need better friends.”

“It’s not that easy, Fives. Can I have my laptop back?”

“No. This is rest time.”

You sigh, “Fives—”

“The bags under your eyes are so deep that they can probably carry all of my clothes with room to spare,”

You pull back and shoot him an offended look, “That’s mean,”

“I’m worried about you.” He releases one of your hands so he’s able to pull your chair closer, and you can feel his warmth radiating off him, “There’s more to life than…this.” He gestures to the pile of work stuff.

“I know that! I do. I’m just…busy, that’s all.”

Fives watches you for a moment, and then he smiles, “Do you dance?”

“I…what?”

“Dance? Do you dance?”

“Not well,” You reply slowly, “I’m not very coordinated.”

“Well, I’m going clubbing tonight with my brothers,” Fives says, “Come with me.”

“To the club?”

“Yeah.”

“And do what? Sit there and watch other people dance and drink?” You ask.

“Don’t be obtuse,” He rolls his eyes, “You’ll dance with me. I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

You stare at him, bemused, “You want to dance with me?”

“I want a lot of things. But I’ll settle for dancing for now.” He grins at you and continues before you’re able to ask him about his comment, “Anyway, are you in? It’ll be fun~”

You sigh softly, “Yeah, okay. I’ll go dancing with you tonight.”

The broad grin that crosses his face surprises you, though you’re not sure why you’re so surprised. Fives always gets excited when you say that you’re trying something new.

“That’s great! The dress code is whatever you can move in, I’m sure you’ll look amazing,” Fives says, his voice very excited, “But, I have to get back to work. I’ll bring you your coffee cake as soon as it’s done.”

You smile at him fondly, “Fives,”

He pauses before he stands, “Yeah?”

“You have sugar on your cheek,” He blinks at you and wipes his cheek, only to miss the sugar, and you laugh softly, “Hold on, I got it.” You reach out and lightly brush the sugar off of his cheek and onto the floor, “There. Perfect,”

You start to pull your hand back only for him to grab your wrist and, in one smooth motion, he pulls you towards him and crashes his lips against yours. 

You release a surprised noise, and then you melt into him, your free hand coming up to rest against his chest.

In your experience, first kisses are supposed to be soft and gentle. But this one isn’t. It’s deep and probing as if Fives is trying to determine what makes you tick with every press of his lips against yours.

You could lose yourself in him if you had the chance, so it’s probably a good thing that Hevy yells at Fives from behind the counter, “Oi!” He shouts as he flings a ball of paper at his younger brother, “Stop making out with your girl and get back behind the counter.”

Fives flips his brother off without looking away from you, and there’s a small smile on his face as his hand lingers against your cheek. He leans in as if he’s going to kiss you again, only for his twin to jerk him out of the seat.

“I’m happy for you, Fives. But you need to get back to work. Now.” Echo hisses as he drags Fives away from the table.

You lightly press your fingers against your lips, they’re tingling a little bit. And, for the first time in your life, you’re looking forward to going out tonight. 

And, judging by the goofy grin on Fives’ face, tonight can’t happen fast enough.

[qveenpoppy]

things i noticed in my pilot rewatch:

wolf almost immediately grabs a glass of champagne when he walks into the wedding with his first patient. i know the show's hinted at him having drug issues, but maybe he has some alcohol ones too? (unless that idea was abandoned since the pilot was written/filmed.)

"except now we're prescribing drugs instead of taking them." "speak for yourself." yeah he's definitely still dealing with those drug issues. i feel like the show's mostly implied for that to be a past thing (we've only seen him take anything twice, to my memory? not counting 1x09's upcoming flashback sequence) but i wonder if/when that'll become an issue again (maybe another patient loss that hurts wolf harder than roman's did? like a father figure, that'll bring back his feelings of guilt over his dad's death?)

it's tiny but i feel like van's crush is hinted at here, with him offering ericka an extra pair of scrubs (while jacob cockily jokes about his being too big for her) and the way he sneaks a glance at her while she changes (not in a creepy way, it's like a nervous/shy kinda way).

he also smiles at her when she yells at jacob while they're searching for hannah's childhood home, after jacob un-empathetically says the kids would be better off with their dad (guess van likes strong women; girlboss/malewife vibes? lol)

"do i ever have to talk to him again?" (wolf talking about nichols.) lmao, you're gonna be in love with him in about 6 episodes from now. also someone write me some pilot era wolfnichols hate sex.

"name one person you like who's not a patient." "you, i like you!" he's so autism-coded ❤️

wolf still uses cassette tapes in his car (which is also quite old, since it still plays tapes), what a grandpa

carol has a picture with michelle obama in her office (not really an important thing to notice, but i thought it was cool)

there's a line in one of the flashbacks (apologies for not quoting it verbatim) from muriel about "keeping our differences to ourselves", which probably explains why wolf isn't super open about his facial blindness. (and probably applies to all of his other traits that make him "different", like his sexuality, or popularly headcanon'd autism. i mean, i know he's open about his sexuality now as an adult, perhaps as a way of rebelling against his mom, but, as we may see in more flashbacks, he probably kept it to himself for quite a while.)

van is completely frozen when hannah has her seizure, he even backs up a little when she falls out of her chair. probably didn't wanna touch her and experience a phantom seizure.

whoever directed the ep made zach & teddy look like they're the same height when nichols confronts wolf and kicks him off the case. i guess it keeps them, literally and figuratively, on the same level in the dispute. but now we all know that wolf's actually shorter, and it's funny how that's been primarily highlighted when they're fooling around with each other. (i know it's an intentional directing tactic, though, bc a similar thing was done in the batman v superman movie when bruce and clark stand eye to eye - henry cavill is also 3 inches shorter than ben affleck. emphasizing the height difference would imply a power imbalance, which you don't want in these sort of gray zone conflicts!)

"the only way this will work is if we open up to each other." [nichols walks by and catches wolf's eye] foreshadowing

(i don't mean just like foreshadowing their romance, but maybe also the impact that nichols will have on wolf, getting him to open up about his past and whatnot. same, perhaps, for nichols, since we still hardly know anything about his background, besides his military experience and implied own closeting.)

(could also quite easily and literally refer to their work relationship, as we learned from that interview with teddy that, despite their romantic connection, they're still going to have some disputes about patient treatments in future episodes/cases.)

[rewritingcanon]

hmmm do you perhaps have any rose and/or granger-weasley family headcanons that you're willing to share with the audience 🎤 🎤🎤

bless you nkem for dragging me back to my roots as a headcanoning account and YES I INFACT DOOOO

rose:

sometimes i forget that white rose is also canon, but to me she's black. and also ginger. don't ask how both can be true, just is.

literally is her mother 2.0, but has her dad's sass. and she got ron and hermione’s combined anger so like,,, jesus.

was extremely tall as a child and would bully people for being small but then stopped growing when she was fourteen and everyone caught up to her and surpassed her (karma)

had braces when she was an adult

out of all the wotters she had the most pride and arrogance. to the point where she can be clumsy and nerdy as shit and if someone laughs at her she throws the biggest hissy fit

this is why albus and her got along so well. because he also doesn’t like getting teased and the whole family would act as if rose and albus were crazy for getting upset at harmless jokes

looks very young. like a teenager even until shes thirty

biggest most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen like literally

she’s either the most stylish with 110% effort or she’s coming in mismatched pyjamas with no bra, not even 0% effort its in the negatives

her room is always always always filthy

gryffindor chaser until she graduates. never was quidditch captain cuz she was too scary, but was vice captain cuz shes great at ordering people around (she doesn’t even have to try that much, they just listen to her)

similarly she’s just such a leader. people gravitate to her or purposefully avoid her for this reason

like this is the reason why hugo is so damn uncontrollable because he grew up with rose as an older sister and hermione as a mum. no one compares to them.

even ron defers to rose 💀 granger-weasley family is a straight matriarchy

suchhhh a menace as a child lol would cry about being teased and then turn around and call albus’ best friend ugly to his face (she doesn’t actually think she’s teasing, because she’s not joking. she’s being deadass. she’s saying this all very matter-of-factly. “scorpius has very big teeth. not a bad thing it just puts his whole face off balance and makes him look uncanny. not a bad thing just very unnatural. not a bad thing just your friend is visually unappealing.” it’s actually so much worse).

then she learns what ✨inside voices✨ are. but she still struggles. bless.

annoying feminist valedictorian that half the schools hates just because shes a successful black girl that has twice the IQ as them. literally hermione all over.

has personal beef with veggies

started joining in on wotter banter when her frontal lobe developed because it was always a pride thing for her, and that grew into steel. shes not gonna bother cracking the shits when roxanne calls her an unc but she won’t hesitate to rip a new ass into somebody if they overstep with her

look. i keep forgetting this is not canon because she acts so much like it in text but this girl HATES boys. og misandrist. never got the hype about men (*cough* lesbian *cough).

both her and polly got into kpop as a joke but now she genuinely really likes it (newjeans fan number one… which.. rest in peace for that 😭)

links up with polly in the most random of places. like they hang out during polly’s church on sunday mornings whilst she’s praying and rose is sitting next to her on the pew like 🙂 or just in one of those underpasses underneath the train thats filthy with moss and stuff

idolises her mum so much likes shes such a mama’s girl despite the mummy issues she may have. hermione and her are locked in fr. twinnem.

doesn’t date whilst shes in hogwarts cuz she believes shes better than 90% of the people there. but maybe she’d experiment in her last year just to check shit off her before-grad bucket list

granger-weasley family:

matriarchy next question

idk if this is actually canon or just heavily implied but ron definitely quit being an auror to be a dad when hermione was pregnant with rose

rose was going to be named aurora but ron had this dream of this little curly haired toddler girl and him calling her rose, so he made the dream a reality 🥹 (rose is so pissed when she finds out she couldve been AURORA. hugo is more pissed when he finds out he would’ve been named aurora too if he had been a girl).

ron’s known as the chess master supreme and im sorry but rose and hugo are absolutely shit compared to him so at every weasley hang out, rose would make all her cousins queue up to see if anyone could beat ron and she facilitates this with a list so no one sneaks back into line after ron inevitably beats them. hugo commentates and hermione refs 😭

hermione refs everything in the granger-weasley household actually even when ron is arguing with one of the kids, they will all turn to her for a final verdict (she’s usually on the “apologise to your father” side but bless)

rose and hugo have cousins on the granger side but theyre not so super close to them cuz theyre like,,, second cousins yk.

back when rose and hugo were super young and hermione was really busy with ministry work, it would just be him and the two kids lots of the time and he’d try to do cute things like taking them to picnics or to the beach. but then he’d forget to do simple shit like putting a cooling charm on the sandwiches or packing towels and he would get soooo upset hugo and rose would try to cheer him up 😭 hugo would probs pick weed flowers for ron or give him broken shells or some shit

also ron is definitely that one dad who is ALWAYS surrounded by mums who volunteer at their kids’ schools or help out at their daughters dance recitals. like he is literally the only man there its hilarious

all the single mums clearly Want him too and every time hermione pulls up and she’s hit with one of the “youre sooooo lucky your husband helps out whilst youre soooo busy with work 😗” she gets premonitions of sending The BirdsTM after them too

when hugo goes to hogwarts rose forces him to have wednesday meals with her so they can have time to catch up. so i dont think rose and hugo ever really drift apart even there is a bit of an age gap. plus i imagine theyre both gryffindors so theyre always chilling in the common room too.

ron is super love dovey with hermione in front of their kids its the most disgusting thing to them. like get away from our mother you freak.

hermione and ron take baby rose and hugo to the cinema for kids movies and hermione is the one who manspreads and sleeps through 80% of it and ron is always trying not to be so moved into tears by the end

ron taught hugo how to crop dust

rose and hugo are somewhat used to people shit talking their mother because she’s literally the president, so they get pissed off but theyre kind of used to it. but do NAWTTT disrespect their father without expecting to catch a stray

hermione yaps about her kids and husband allllll the time to her colleagues in the office. shes so proud of them for just like,, existing. she will build them up as the gods amongst all children. they all know everything about rose and hugo but rose and hugo no jackshit about them.

ron keeps all of his kids’ pieces of art and school projects and baby teeth and shoes and friendship bracelets. if hermione even thinks of throwing some away (she likes a clean house) she will have to fistfight ron and suffer his days-long silent treatment (hugo and rose dont care half the time, its literally just ron who wants to keep everything).

ron does the mum thing where he pees in the dark with the door open and everyone just has to ignore it

hermione runs every parent volunteer bake sale like the military. one of the kids tried to haggle her and they were at the stalk for like 40 minutes before they mutually agreed to lower the price by 40 cents. rose was soooo embarrassed.

hugo would offer to massage hermione’s shoulders when she got back from work so he can be a good little son but he was absolutely shit at it and would get his skinny fingers and jab them into her joints to get out ‘the knot.’ it hurt her more often than not but hermione would always agree to it and say hes amazing through tears of agony

rose wanted matching hair with ron as a kid

when ron got the joke shop and hermione had rose it was literally just a shop for making babies life for the next few years until hugo grew up and george duelled him to return the shop back to its old glory

ok thats all ive yapped sm it took me like months to make this post im so sorry.

[doublel27]

I think I started following you for TK and Carlos, but you're now one of my main sources of Buck and Eddie as well (because despite having never watched 911 I know who they are lol). And I honestly have become increasingly confused as to whether Buck and Eddie are actually together?? I know one of them is bisexual... but like... are they cannon? It is just a ship? What's their deal???

Oh my dear sweet summer child. You have opened a can of worms. Also, if you’re getting OG info from me then you’re getting a very narrow view.

BUT

Short answer: Buck and Eddie are not canon in terms of being in a romantic or sexual relationship.

However…what’s their deal? I’m glad you asked.

So it all started in season one, when 25 year old Evan Buckley was a hot mess express stealing fire trucks for hook ups with girls.

He then met a dispatcher almost twice his age named Abby who stalked him a little bit and he nearly died choking on a piece of bread but since our sweet summer child has both mommy and daddy issues he imprinted on her hard like a baby duckling

Her mom, who she had been taking care, of died and she went to Europe and promised she’d be back and left Buck staying in her house. (She would not be back gentle reader. But don’t worry it will come back around why this is important)

Season two starts up with a pining Buck and the entry of Eddie Diaz

This is literally our intro to him. Also What a Man is canonically playing as the soundtrack as Buck first lays eyes on him.

They speedrun enemies (onsided) to besties in a single episode.

Eddie has a son, Christoper.

Chris has CP and Eddie moved him to LA because this is where Chris’s mom ran away to when she left them.

Buck also imprints on Eddie and Chris, immediately helping them and getting Chris a home health aid. His sister jokes that he has a man crush and will finally maybe get over Abby. Eddie tries to get back with his ex-wife but she both neither wants to be a wife or a mom and is going to leave them again but gets hit by a car and dies.

And Buck and Eddie and Chris become increasingly more codependent.

Buck nearly gets crushed under a fire truck and can’t come back to work and babysits Chris during shifts and they almost die in a Tsunami and Buck thinks he did a bad job taking care if Chris but Eddie says there’s no one he would trust with his son more.

Buck tries to come back to work but he’s got blood clotting issues from nearly getting crushed by a fire truck and is bared from returning and therefore sues the department for wrongful termination (even though he wasn’t actually terminated he just couldn’t return to active duty). Then he couldn’t speak to anyone from the firehouse which led to the divorced dads era.

Angry, bitter fight in a grocery store with their coworkers ensues. Don’t worry it all works out and we go back to coparenting like normal.

Our boys are both unsuccessfully dating women and the queerbaiting accusations get tossed around. They are unfounded because 1. The show is written by queer people and 2. There have always been gay characters as main and recurring characters. They just all happen to be black. (See racism, lesbian erasure, and 911)

Things are going great until Eddie gets shot at work by a sniper right in Buck’s face.

[Gif redacted for trauma reasons]

It was highly traumatizing. Buck saves Eddie and Eddie is in a coma and Buck has to tell Chris and take care of him, you know, like a dad. Everyone points out he’s basically Chris’s other dad, not Eddie’s girlfriend who is also around sort of.

Buck confesses to Eddie when Eddie wakes from the coma that he wishes it was him that had gotten shot and died which is when Eddie reveals that would be really fucking dumb because Buck is who Eddie wants to take Chris if he dies.

Anywho. Everyone keeps dating women. Buck almost dies a few more times, and gets struck by lighting has an interesting coma carol and is obsessed with death. They remain co-parents of an adorable son.

Enter season seven and Tommy comes back into our lives. In the beginning it’s hard to see who he’s for, Buck or Eddie or just as a device. But he’s for Buck! There was rejoicing. Bi!Buck was no longer headcanon!

Buck comes out as bi, because you know, he thought it was normal for the first 32 years of his life that men were hot. Everyone knew that. Buck has a boyfriend now. People are mad it’s not Eddie. Fandom wars ensue and those of us that like both try our best to avoid the abuse to middling to terrible success.

Eddie has a girlfriend and then finds out that there is an exact doppelgänger of his dead ex-wife (told you she’d come back around) and begins having an affair with her on his current girlfriend. Everything blows up when he and doppelgänger wife are processing his ex-wife’s stuff and his girlfriend and son came home.

Chris leaves his dads and goes to live with his grandparents in Texas, and neither of them can convince him to stay. Eddie grows a terrible mustache. Buck continues dating Tommy. Interviews and canon keep calling Eddie straight but

We then find out that Tommy is the ex-fiancé of Buck’s season one obsession, Abby. Buck tries to process this with Tommy but Tommy has the most projecting ass low-self-esteem meltdown and breaks up with Buck.

Which brings us to now, two sad bestie coparents whose son is living in Texas.

And that’s what you missed on glee 911!

Did that clarify anything or just as confusing?

Canonically, IMO, they’re in a queerplatonic coparenting situationship with no sex, thus far.

What will happen next, gentle reader, who can say?