#twice as much as usual for just 1/3 concert days?? if it was 2/3 then yeah sure but wow just 1 I was so done

[baekdaedream]

So TDS2 never worked out for me at all 😔 let’s hope TDS3 goes much better~ hoping before the end of 2024 to have seen EXO, Dream, and WayV in concert I hope that’s. Not too much to hope for 😣

[osbornenthusiast]

octogoblin headcanons under the cut because I love them so much

(Very minor cw for nosebleeds on this first one)

Otto gets nosebleeds all the time. Like, once or twice a week. Norman has woken up to Otto just sitting on the bed with a paper towel on his nose like a thousand times.

Additionally, Norman is a BIG TIME GERMAPHOBE and he always has been. Tying that back to Ottos nosebleeds, Norman refuses to get anywhere near Otto while his nose is bleeding. If Otto’s nose started bleeding in bed, the entire bedspread is getting washed. Norman doesn’t care if there isn’t a single drop of blood on the bed, he will be deep cleaning it.

These two have complete opposite sleep schedules. Otto usually doesn’t fall asleep until around 2-3 AM and, if he’s not working in the morning, won’t wake up until about 12 PM.

Norman on the other hand, has the sleep schedule of a goddamn military soldier. This man is always asleep by 9:30 PM and never wakes up past 6AM. (That’s on a bad day, he’s usually awake by 5:30 AM). Otto can expect a daily lecture about getting enough sleep and how unhealthy his sleep schedule is, but Otto can’t help it. He can’t remember the last time he fell asleep before midnight, that’s just how his body works🤷‍♂️.

Norman refuses to let Otto kiss him on the mouth in the morning. He doesn’t want Otto kissing him before he’s brushed his teeth, it grosses him out. Mornings for these two have become a daily battle of Otto (jokingly) trying to sneak a kiss on the lips before Norman can swiftly turn his head away.

Norman absolutely loves Frank Sinatra (duh) but Otto cannot STAND Frank Sinatra. Otto doesn’t really have a genuine reason as to why he doesn’t like Sinatra, he just.. hates him.

Norman figured out his husband hated Frank Sinatra during a car ride home from a dinner date. Norman started playing “The Nearness of You” when Otto turned the volume down and half-jokingly asked if Norman could play some “real music”.

Skip to 25 minutes later, Norman and Otto are at home and Norman has been going on a constant rant about how Frank Sinatra is the “definition of real music!” and Otto is absolutely baffled that someone could rant about something so minuscule for so long.

Staying on the topic of music, Otto collects vinyls like you would not believe. Norman collects them too, but not nearly as much as Otto.

Otto has multiple boxes full of vinyl records that he’s been keeping since he was around 13. Some of them are first editions that he’s held on to over the years.

Ottos favorite vinyls are:

1- Brahms: Cello Sonatas Nos 1 & 2 / Bruch. This man is a sucker for classical music. He especially loves it when he and Norman are alone together in their living room, intimately slow dancing to the sounds of violins and cellos and the like. He just finds it so beautiful.

2- Verities and Balderdash. Norman introduced Otto to Harry Chapin back in the early 70s when Chapin was alive and still making music. Otto very quickly fell in love with this album specifically, loving the numerous emotions it delivered, the use of orchestras in some of the songs, and mostly Chapin’s unique yet beautiful voice. Otto and Norman actually got to see Chapin in concert in 1974, and it was one of the best concerts Ottos ever seen.

3- Desire. Otto adores Bob Dylan’s writing, but he only listens to certain albums. He likes bits and pieces of Blood On The Tracks, or even Street-Legal, but he’s not too keen on the sound of Dylan’s other work. This album though, Otto adores. Once again, Otto was instantly drawn to the dramatics and overall feeling of this album. His favorite song on Desire is One More Cup of Coffee, mainly because of the violins and melancholic feeling of the song.

[slightlystupidhun]

Niente

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

A band AU I’m writing! Sorry if it’s bad! There is no magic in this universe, just music! @puffin-smoke did an amazing Redacted Band AU that you should check out too!

CW: Grooming, use of drugs,drug abuse, Kody, Blake, Quinn

Niente; To nothing; indicating a diminuendo which fades completely away…

Tanks Eyes lit up as they saw the message from Quinn. They were so enthralled to be in contact with him. They quickly thumbed open the message and silently read it to themself.

QUINN: Hey Precious, you didn't stick around the other night? Was it that you wanted to stand me up, or your brootish brother was hiding you away?

Tank smiled to themself and bit their lip. They slightly laughed at Quinns descriptor of David

TANK: We had to leave pretty quickly unfortunately… T-T

QUINN: Well, I have another gig tonight if you wanted to show… But if you don't, I'll just assume you hate me ;)

TANK: I don’t have band practice tonight so I could… but I don’t have a ride and I’d have to sneak out… seems like too much trouble…

QUINN: What are you afraid of a little trouble?

TANK: No…

QUINN: I’ll come pick you up… Text me your address and I’ll be there by 7:30 precious.

Tank smiled to themself as they sent him their address. This was their chance to get close to him, to get to know the singer they had been such a fan of since they were fifteen. They quickly got dressed and ready to go, taking a little more care than usual into what they looked like. Opening their window they scanned their room once more before crawling out. Lights beamed directly at them, flickering on and off twice, just as they told Quinn to do. They walked over to the all black Rolls Royce and quickly got in.

“Hello Precious.” Quinn smiled at them. “Have a fun time crawling through your window?”

“Oh, it was thrilling.” They spoke sarcastically as they fastened their seatbelt. Quinn drove off shortly after that.

“So, how long have you been playing?” Quinn asked as he peeked over at them through the corner of his eyes.

“I’ve only been playing electric guitar for about a year and a half… but I’ve been playing acoustic for about six years…” They spoke using their hands to add emphasis to their words.

“Ahh so you’re pretty fresh to the scene then? Want some advice?” Quinn smiles over at them.

They look at him for a moment, their eyes turning bright, THE Quinn Fox was offering them advice. “Sure.” they nodded trying to play it cool.

“If a devilishly handsome musician from a pretty famous band asks you to go somewhere, you say no. Unless of course that man is me.” He smiled at them cheekily. “Some men out there want the wrong things and use their fans. Not me though. I see your true talent…. You are truly remarkable, Tank.”

They felt their face flush as they nodded at his words. Their bright orbs staring into his oddly dark ones. “Okay…”

The concert went on as usual and Quinn performed with such charisma that anyone would fall for him. “Temptation eyes, Looking through my, my, my soul.” Quinn sung out and glanced over at Tank smirking at them, as if he was singing to them. After the show they waited backstage in his dressing room for him.

They looked around at the posters and costumes set up in the room. They heard the familiar turning of the door knob and sat up properly, waiting for the band to enter. Once they did, Quinn took the liberty of introducing everyone.

“Alright everyone this is Tanker from that group that opened for us a few days ago, DxW… And Tank This is Kody, our Drummer.” He said pointing over to Kody, a man with Tan skin and dark blue hair, his eyes were an icy blue and he looked at Tank with an off putting smile. “This is Blake, our Electric Guitarist.” He pointed at a rather plain looking man, he had brown hair and a piercing on his lip, however, his dark brown eyes sent a shiver down Tank's spine, their instincts telling them to run. “And this ray of sunshine is our bass guitarist Vega.” He looked over his shoulder at the man with magenta locks and hazel eyes. The man was sat up in the corner taking a long drag of his cigarette, already separating himself from the group. He didn't seem as scary as the others.

“Ever had a cig?” Quinn asked Tank as he sat down next to them on the couch and put his arm around them.

“No… I don’t smoke really…” Uncertainty rang out in their tone as Quinn handed them the lit cigarette.

“Well we can't have that now can we? How about you give it a go?” He nudged them on the shoulder as they took the cigarette. “It's easy…just suck and blow.” He spoke in a flirty tone as he leaned closer to them, “You can do that can’t you?” His lips ghosted across their ear, sending chills down their spine.

They nodded, taking the cigarette into their mouth, they inhaled the smoke and fell into a coughing fit, their cheeks turning red. The group around them laughed and their faces heated up with embarrassment. They quickly handed the cigar back to Quinn.

“Aww can’t handle a little puff pup.” Kody spoke in a gross intoxicating voice.

“Don’t you fucking call me that.” Tank spoke firmly, their tone low.

“Ooh a feisty little rat you brought along Quinn.” Kody huffed out a laugh. “I bet they’d be fun to play with.” Kody moved over to and reached a hand out for them before it was whacked away.

“Have some fucking tact, asshat.” A smooth voice spoke. Tank looked up to meet Vega, his cigarette hanging loosely from his lips as he glared at Kody. “This kid is like half your age, don’t play with them like that…”

“Ever the protector of justice is our Vega,” Quinn spoke patronizingly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Relax Vega, their nineteen. They’re an adult, old enough to make their own choices.”

“Barely…” Vega mumbles under his breath.

After Quinn dropped them back home Tank tried to sneak through their window as quickly and as quietly as possible.They slid up the window and swung their leg over the ledge, pulling themself through. They made it in, safely, and presumably unsuspected. They quickly turned around and shut the window, making sure to latch it shut. That's when their bedroom light flicked on. They didn't dare turn around to face who caught them.

“Have fun Kiddo?” Gabes voice echoed through their room. His tone indicated that he was not genuinely asking and he was actually quite upset.

“Gabe, Uhm Hi…?” Tank asked, sweating bullets. They finally turned around to face him to see him leaning in their doorway.

“Hi.” He spoke out as he moved two steps into their room, shutting the door behind him.

“What's up?” Tank said folding their arms and biting their lip, a dead giveaway that they were nervous.

“What's up is that when I knocked on my child's door at eight, they didn't answer, so I walked in the room to make sure they were okay, and they weren't there. Crazy Right?” He folded his arms, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “So naturally I go to David to ask if he knew of any plans they had, and guess what? He Didn't. But he did let me know that they were possibly out with a famous rockstar almost double their age. So I waited in their room until.” He paused to check his watch. “Around 4:33am when they tried sneaking back into their bedroom. That's what's up, Tanker.”

“I’m Sorry, I should've told you, I just didn't want you to freak out, or say no.” They said sitting on their bed.

“And I would've said no. You should not be hanging out ALONE with four fully grown men.” He said, giving them a stern look.

“Dad, I’m nineteen years old. I’m an adult.” They said huffing and rolling their eyes..

“Okay First, drop the attitude. And Second, even IF you think you qualify as an ‘Adult’ you will always be my kid.” He moved closer to them, sitting on their bed. “I don’t approve of you hanging out with them alone. I have a bad feeling about it. But since you are an adult I can’t physically stop you. Please be smart. I know you can be.”

“Dad, I’m literally just hangin. I’m smart enough to think for myself! I’m not an idiot.”

“I know you aren't an idiot, I just want you to use your brain here! I don’t want you to get hurt.” He said in a slightly exhausted tone.

“Well, I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself. They wouldn't hurt me dad. Besides, David is probably much too scary for them to even think about hurting me.” They joked.

“Kid, I’m serious, I don't trust them.” He stands up and moves to the door.

“I’m literally fine. It's whatever, I’m just gonna go to bed.” They roll their eyes and lay down.

“We’ll talk about this later.” He says as he closes their door. They knew they were already infatuated with Mr.Fox and wanted to spend as much time with him as they could. Something about him made them feel special.

Tank only fell deeper in with Quinn after Gabes passing. The whole Band was on the way back from a concert, Gabe deciding to drive the truck, leaving the Band in the bus. As they were passing a light, a Drunk driver failed to stop and crashed head on into his truck. Tank remembers running out of the bus, alongside David and rushing over to Gabe. By the time they got to him he was already too far gone. He couldn't speak, couldn't move, he only smiled at them, tears rushing down his cheeks, as he drifted off to sleep for the last time. Tank stopped including themself in the group outside of concerts and band practice. Milo ended up bringing in his partner as the band's new manager to help the transition from Gabe running everything.

Things continued like this for the next few months, Tank would sneak out and meet up with Quinn and his band. Fortunately, DxW was also growing in popularity, so they played more gigs which allowed Tank to slip away easier since everyone was so tired. Slowly the group introduced Tank to a whole new attitude and way of life, As well as a few substances to kickstart their addiction both to the band and to the drugs.

Quinn also began getting more physically intimate with Tank. He would find himself being close to them, and even kissing them often before it would branch out into full on makeout sessions. The first time Quinn kissed Tank they were both sitting on the couch. He slowly leaned over and let his lips touch theirs. His lips were dry and hot and it never felt right but again, Tank was addicted to Quinn. Addicted to finding out his deepest darkest secrets. Addicted to the attention. Addicted to knowing someone who seemed to want them.

—————

A/N: song credit- Temptation Eyes- The Grass Roots

[universe-requests]

Got any college tips?

Ps make it lengthy

Yeah! Note that a lot of this will be based on my own experiences as someone w ADHD at a large public university, and may not apply necessarily to you!

Academic Stuff:

even if textbook readings aren't mandatory, if there are associated sections/readings w your classes, you should read the textbook. there is a ton of stuff in there that's not gonna be covered well by your lectures, and you'll benefit from the additional context and examples you get from reading

make calendars and to-do lists weeks in advance. if your classes have syllabi with schedules, put all their deadlines onto your calendar. from the calendar, write down what you want to get done each day. i usually try to do 1-2 assignments every day. i do this usually a few weeks to a month into the future, so that i know what i need to get done each day. if you need to push an assignment, you'll know what you have to do for the coming days and can balance where best to put stuff you couldn't complete.

go to office hours! if you start an assignment and do what you can on it b4 going to office hours, you'll be able to better ask questions on what you're confused abt. for some of my harder classes, i went to office hours sometimes twice a week.

you may need to change your major! that's okay. i changed mine like 2 or 3 years in and had to do an extra year to make up for the change. i was afraid to "give up" on my first major (biomedical engineering), but if i'd switched sooner, i would've avoided needing to take extra time. if you do end up switching a bit later like i did, it's not the end of the world tho! it's more money obv, but this major has been much easier for me n i've made way more friends in informatics than i ever made in engineering

apply for disabilities if you think you'll need accommodations! i originally tried to go without them n realized that i was depriving myself of resources for no reason. having extra time on assignments n exams improved my grades bc i could take the time i needed!

Friendship Stuff:

compliment ppl on things like their fashion, hair, phone cases, pins, or backpacks! this is a great way to start a conversation and get a conversation flowing and i have had multiple friendships start just by giving a compliment and then continuing to chat from there

start/join campus discord servers! it's a great way to meet ppl in your classes or your building. i've made multiple friends thru discord servers for my classes, and you also get to work thru assignments or clarify things together

hang-outs don't have to be big plans. you can just msg ppl if they wanna get food at the dining hall n sometimes that'll evolve into a bigger hang-out if you end up wanting to go do smth after!

Mental Health Stuff:

if you're living in the dorms, you'll probably feel rlly scared/sad on your first night or even first few nights abt being on your own n such. both myself and my therapist sobbed our first nights in the dorms! but it'll get better n you'll feel more confident doing things by yourself/being away from home as you go

the first year can be rlly tough to adjust to. i was so depressed i was sometimes peeing in my trashcan bc i couldn't get myself out of bed. now, i'm doing much much better! as you go, you'll get better at your time management skills and knowing your limits and coping w frustration/anxieties

as much as possible, go to events on campus. go to plays, movie nights, clubs, concerts, craft nights, game nights etc. n don't feel afraid to do it by yourself! it's fun to have things to look forward to and get yourself out of the dorm and making sure that you're eating meals (bc if you're already out, you might as well eat)

[etherealnoir]

Saw Black Panther in Concert with my mom and almost cried again. Twice.

I reiterate three things I’ve always said every time I watch it

1. I love how much a damn weeb MBJ/Erik is. Over there doing Anime Villain monologues.

2. I’m not usually super attracted to MBJ, but there’s something about his swagger as Erik that made him insanely hot to me.

3. If T’Chaka hadn’t died, he would have to count his damn days. Because how do you leave a child (your own nephew) to find their parent’s (your brother’s) dead body on their apartment floor, and just waltz through life like nothing happened?

Side note: I only just noticed during the first challenge fight with Erik that T’Challa was working really hard to not actually hurt/kill Erik. He kept blocking and navigating away from him/pushing him back. On some level he probably felt like he deserved that ass beating, even though it was T’Chaka’s sin that he never even faced the consequences for.

[punkrockmixtapes]

Music Nerd Stuff

I really should be working but I have no motivation today so I'm wasting my time doing this instead. If you feel like doing this please do. I don't know who to tag but I'll tag some folks at the bottom.

1. First Concert: officially? I'm pretty sure the first one I went to all by myself was Soundgarden/Rev Horton Heat at Max Bell. There were a few at that same time that I had gone to so I'm not sure but I'll stick with that answer. I know I bought Rev Horton Heat shirt with a Devil girl on it and it got me into a lot of trouble at school the first time I wore it. This probably ages me a little bit.

2. Last Concert: I think the last show I went to was Hot Water Music and Sincere Engineer. I've been super weird about doing anything since Covid. I mean weirder than I normally am. But I'm trying to force myself to go to more shows again. Sincere Engineer were amazing. I can't wait to see another show at a better venue.

3. Most Surprising Show: Hmm...this is tough. I've seen some pretty cool shows especially when I worked at the record store and would just get free tickets to anything. Seeing RVIVR on a whim at a bike shop in town. The show wasn't advertised or promoted at all. I just happened to stumble upon a random instagram post. I had never even seen this shop and it was like 10 blocks from my old house. So I went. It was so amazing. It felt like when I went to shows in high school. It really rejuvenated my love for punk rock.

4. Worst show: Oh I have seen a lot of those...as I mentioned I had a free ticket to almost anything that came through town and I would take full advantage of it. Like I went to see Styx with Gowen singing just because I could. Plus all the basement/all ages shows. I mean you gotta sift through some mud to get some gems. But, maybe the most disappointing was Arcade Fire. It was on their first "big" tour. To be fair I wasn't that into the album yet. But all I had heard was how amazing this band was live and how it was going to blow my mind. I legit fell asleep during the show on a couch. Like not related to booze or being tired. I might as well have been in a boring lecture at school.

or maybe Ozzy the last time I saw him. I saw him in like 96 and he was rad and energetic. Then I saw him later on pre the Sabbath reunion. We were lucky (or so I thought) to be side stage. But Ozzy was decrepit and couldn't move. He was reading off a teleprompter and it was sad seeing the regression. I have heard he ruled on the Sabbath shows but I didn't buy tickets for that based on this experience.

5. Loudest: Hmm...I assume all the basement shows were loud and probably were not good for any future hearing loss but the loudest show with an actual PA had to be the Misfits when they came through on the first run with Graves singing. I don't think my ears were ever the same. I also learned that wearing plugs at a show is probably a smart idea. Alas it was too late.

6. Band I’ve Seen The Most: I'd say Chixdiggit because they played all the time when I was a teenager. I'm sure there are other local bands that I saw just as much.

7. Best Show: Too many contenders. I have been fortunate to see so many good shows. I am a sucker for small venues and I really hate stadium or festival shows. I guess that's the punk rock snob in me. But the first one that came to mind was The Weakerthans at the multi cultural centre. It was an all ages show, on a Sunday , in the middle of summer which usually meant a giant failure at the time. I hadn't been a fan. I was too young to get that kind of music. But the show made me one. Plus I still get butterflies because that whole day was fantastic like some sort of scene in a movie when the main character looks back and reflects on something formative or romantic.

8. Happiest I Got To See: The Menzingers. They had canceled twice here and I finally got to see them. It was probably the first time I was up front at a stage in like 10 years.

9. Wish I Could’ve Seen: There are 3 for me

a) The Murder City Devils - They only played here once as far as I know. I wasn't 18 and I couldn't get into the show. My friend said he would get me in. I was too much of a chicken and I figured they would be back again soon. Much like Mr T at the mall it never happened.

b) Samiam - Same deal as above, same venue, I wish I wasn't such a chicken at the time.

c.) At the Drive In - I didn't get an actual chance to see them but fuck do I wish I could have seen them before they blew up and then hated being a band.

10. Seeing Next: I don't know. I always say I'll go to this show or that show. I'm old, I'm slightly afraid of large crowds now ...but I do have tickets to the Chuck Ragan, The Interrupters and Frank Turner in April. And I really want to see 1876 when they play here for Sled Island. That will rule.

if you feel like doing this @sugartownunderground , @honey-drudgers @capsandbottles97 @serend-p-ty @another-brick-inthewall

[udon-udon]

haven’t had the time to sit down and kinda recap the mamamoo concert trip so here we go, i’ll try to keep it short!

Landed in SF and had a friend take me around San Jose for a lil bit! Went to Trader Joe’s for the first time ever LOL and then got to the place I was staying at. Unpacked and got ready for the next day which was concert #1 day. Went to a really cute cafe that had some local artist stuff for sale, I bought some stickers hehe. We then headed to a mall to kill some time before heading to In N Out with our other friends. Had my first In N Out experience and laksjdflskjd im in love. We headed to the concert at about 5pm ish and the merch line was long af alksjdflaksjdf but managed to snag a sweatshirt, and 2 tshirts, i really splurged. The concert was amazing, I’m still shellshocked, cause I’m so used to seeing them via a video or something buT THEY WERE THERE IN PERSON!!! Anyway I’m still shook. I also lost my hat that I’ve only ever worn once so I’m sad about that... Got home at around 12am ish and we ate in n out yet again cause it was the only thing opened around LOL. In N Out twice in a day? Would do again honestly. That night my travel friend and I only had like 2 hours of sleep though cause we had to get up at 5am for our Lyft to the airport alskdjsalskdf We made it on time though! 

Our flight to LA was 7am to 9am, and once we landed, we got picked up by another friend who showed us around Little Tokyo and Koreatown! I loved Little Tokyo so much aaah. Bought Mamamoo’s Purple album (blue vers.) and Mamamoo+’s Act 1 Scene 1 at a kpop store. Got dropped off at our airbnb at around 3pm and met up with the airbnb gang in which i didn’t know half of, but they were chill people! Always nice to meet more fellow moomoos. We went to a well known gopchang restaurant for dinner that night, and apparently a ton of kpop artists went there too cause they had their autographs etc. Good stuff. First time trying gopchang and it’s definitely an acquired taste. I’ve heard it doesn’t all taste the same so maybe I should try some more if i ever go to korea again. That night we slept very well haha

The next day was concert #2 day! Travel friend and I managed to sleep in while the others went to do their own things. 3/8 of us regrouped at the airbnb and walked to the restaurant that we wanted to eat at (which was kinda full so we ended up going to another nearby restaurant). We ate coco curry and then headed to the concert venue! lasklaskd A friend of ours made a poster that for some reason wasn’t allowed in so she snuck it through and I had to be the one receiving it LKJASLDKJF mission impossible shit right there. The concert was just as amazing and aaaahhhhhhh I have no words to describe IT STILL FEELS SURREAL. We tried waiting after the concert for Mamamoo’s cars to come out and THEY DID. but they didn’t roll down their windows like they usually do and they went the other way we were standing LMAOOO twas a good effort i guess. At least their car passed by us HAHA. I got a video of it. We then got home at like 12-1am and then ordered tacos and drank til 5am cause they bought way too much alcohol;;; 

Next day was our last day here, in which I split with the airbnb gang to hang with some other friends. I heard that the airbnb gang’s adventure was very stressful and i wish i was there to witness the chaos but thankful i didn’t have to experience it LOL. hung around another area of Little Tokyo I didn’t go last time, and then went to Nucleus, a local artist gallery BUT IT WAS CLOSED AND I WAS SAD. It looked super cool too which makes it even sadder :( Oh well. Then got dropped off at the airport at about 3pm (which was really early), but my airbnb gang were there shortly after cause some of them had their flight at 5:30pm. My flight buddies just sat there and chatted til 8pm, our flight aaaand on the flight we went. Got home at about 11:30pm ish and the end : ) 

[molsons112000]

I never went to restaurants in slouch back in the seat and disrespectful. I set up properly truly.... they disrespect the environment they're in, they disrespect the people they're around, they're garbage...

Let's see how many times did I eat out high school hardly ever Shirley. I hardly ever ate out ever eat out...

My freshman year in college, Benedictine. How many times did I eat out there? Well let me think actually none... I never ate out at all. I did go like once or twice to the local. Snack shop we had I never ate out at all. I did go like once or twice to the local. Snack shop we had, but what ever was on the meal plan? That's all I ate. I didn't eat anywhere else. And I only bought a beer and shot pool when I went to the bar. So I bought one beer or when I was with somebody else. I might have bought a second beer. But I just had one beer usually and played pool multiple games of pull and yes, 1 of the guys I played against was a black guy. He was good. I was better, but we would win and lose, and there was these locals that I played pull with on a consistent basis... But I didn't go grinding around anywhere. I just ate on the meal plan and Friday. Every so often was steak and potato night, and that was a big deal... But I never ate out and then I had to leave college, come back here and go to community college and I worked 2 to 3 jobs simultaneously, and I didn't hang out truly, I didn't hang out and go places. I was working all the time and the same with Baja. I didn't hang out around the City of Chicago. I was working seven days a week a lot of times I work months on end with no days off so I wasn't hanging out anywhere going out and I had all kinds of perks, I never used one of them....

So I didn't actually eat out Intel. I went back transferred to the university of Arizona, and that was that summer of 1988 2 years after graduating from high school did I eat out? I was working multiple jobs, the wildcat house. I work security, I did Events, I did all kinds of jobs, so not a lot of partying around a lot of working and going to school.

So I don't understand these kids, they can slash back, make a mess on the counter, you know, kick their feet up.What the f*** is that!!!!!

So I don't get this s*** anymore...

These earn nothing little f****** punks live larger than I do. They kick back with their friends, they hang out. I didn't go to any concerts. My first concert was with Scott gertz for his birthday and that was my last concert. I didn't go to another concert. Intel much older in my twenties...

Talk about f****** privileged. It's unbelievable, these kids sit back like they own everything they own the world God. Owns the world God owns everything. You you little f****** piece of white trash, f****** s***, own nothing, and you are insignificant ..

I don't get it anymore. I don't get it at all. These kids act like they own everything. And if they have that kind of wealth that is f***** app, because I taught kids to put in retirement accounts where they can't touch a f****** penny inside an I. RA inside an investment account, not a retail account where they have any access to the money and if they touch that f****** money. They get whacked with penalties, so I was teaching them to put it in retirement accounts where they can't get to the money.It wasn't for them to go out and live like f****** kings...

[purplesurveys]

1776

1. If you had to choose, whiskey or tequila? Why?:  I can think of very few things worse than the taste of whiskey, so I'll have to go with tequila even though I hardly take shots of those anymore.

2. While doing school work, do you take your time or do you try to get it done as quickly as possible?: I'm not in school anymore, but for work it depends on how much bandwidth I've got left. Sometimes I'll really strong bursts of energy while also being able to accomplish stuff quickly; but there are also days where I can't bring myself to give a fuck and I'm a little kinder.

3. When did you last wear a scrunchie?: It may have been last year. I got a scrunchie from my salon during one of the times I had my hair dyed – I was able to use it a few times but I lost it after like a couple of months.

4. If you were a writer, what would you write about most?: Essays and articles about stuff I'm into.

5. Do you sometimes yell to get your point across?:  Not really. I just try to rephrase what I say or explain the most detailed way I can in hopes that my point will be understood the second time around.

6. If you’re a girl, what symptoms do you get when you PMS?:  My emotional stability dipping is the biggest symptom, like I immediately know my period is coming when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders for no reason. My stomach and upper legs freeze up and hurt too but that's for when the actual period starts.

7. Is there anyone at your school with a cool accent? What kind of accent is it?: I wouldn't use the word 'cool' for it tbh but my ex's accent actually particularly stood out – not just for me, but I'm guessing around the school as a whole because she had been raised to have an extremely strong American accent. I actually credit our friendship for how I talk today because before meeting her I only ever talked in Filipino.

8. What is stressing you out most right now?: Don't count on the answer changing, because it's still work. My life is perfect otherwise.

9. Are you more smart and thoughtful or understanding and kind?:  I want to say smart and thoughtful as I can be stubborn and am sometimes not able to be good at being understanding.

10. Who last asked you for a favor? What was it?:  ContinuEd from yesterday afternoon. My Grab driver last night asked if I could pay the toll fees in cash, which fortunately I had some left.

11. If you had to decide, what do you think people envy about you?:  The fact that my money goes to savings and luxuries, and that I'm not required to pay bills (but despite that fact, I still do).

12. If you want to get your crush’s attention, what do you do?: I don't have a crush but I imagine I'd try to learn more about their interests so that we'd have something to talk about. Like if they're into cars, I'd look up future expos and invite them to go with me.

13. How long have you been single or in a relationship for?:  I have been single for a little over three years.

14. Are you closer to your friends or family?:  Friends.

15. Do you know what you’re going to wear tomorrow?:  Not yet, actually. I'll think about it tomorrow.

16. Do you use white strips or anything else to whiten your teeth? No. I just brush my teeth twice a day and get my them professionally cleaned once a month and pray that they help, hahaha.

17. Are there any special events coming up? What are they?:  My friends and I might finally meet up again on Monday for our usual every-few-months Bangtan shenanigans. Next week it'll be watching the YTC concert on Prime and I hope we're also mutually set on dropping by BTS x James Jean hahaha.

18. When it comes to strangers, how trusting are you?: [TRIGGER WARNING: Violence, death] Well 3 days ago I made the wrong decision of watching dashcam footage of two people getting shot point black in the head, multiple times because apparently one shot isn't enough JESUS CHRIST; and yesterday I got catcalled by a man so I'm not gonna lie to you I'm finding people kind of shitty these days!

19. If someone insults/makes fun of you, what do you do?:  I would retaliate, but it can also always be different every time. When I got catcalled yesterday I thought I would have the inner strength to spit back, but I just reverted to my old self and felt small and froze up. And kept walking until it sank that I just got objectified.

20. What color do you think represents your personality?:  Maybe pastel purple or pink.

21. Would you rather drive on a long straight highway or windy backroads?:  A long straight highway because we have none of those here unless you're on an expressway.

23. What is the fastest you’ve ever gone in a car?: Just a little over 100 kph. I never go past 110...I feel like that is just asking for death...

24. Have you ever seen someone break their bone in real life?:  Only through video footage and very fortunately it's never been something I've had to watch through in real life.

25. If you got to choose an animal to disappear forever, what would it be? Why?:  Ants or cockroaches.

26. What are the keys of your heart?: A new job offer :3 LOL

27. Are you sometimes a control freak?: Yes I am a big one. I try to relinquish control whenever I can because I'm very self-aware of my need to calm the fuck down and because there are bigger problems in the world.

28. If you’re online right now, do you have an away message up? What does it say?: We don't do that anymore lol.

29. Do you know what your GPA is?: We don't have that.

30. If you got to pick any winter sport to excel at, what would it be?:  I'm not familiar with winter sports.

[rimouskis]

10 Observations: in which I break a curse, fail to evade arena employees, and see Geno play his 1000th NHL game

how are you all? are you well? are you in a general state of good health? please tell me you are, because I decided to subject myself to the frigid chicago weather, the stresses of an away arena, and shepherding my hockey-uneducated family through a game in a desperate bid to see geno's 1000th game.

I succeeded. I survived. barely. this is my story:

1 - United Center is Nice and Much Too Large

this place is massive. just... untenably large. upsettingly large, one might say. I've been there only twice before—for concerts, never a sporting event—and I remember being struck by the size even then, when huge swaths of the arena were blocked off for the stage. seeing the whole place actually in use was alarming and further put PPG Paints Arena into context for me.

this arena-contextualizing started with me going to Climate Pledge Arena in Seattle and marveling at THEIR size (and beauty, and functionality, and Fun Arena Kitsch), and comparing that to PPG Paints Arena, which is rinky-dink in comparison. I don't know why I expected United Center to be... rustier? older? meh-er? than PPG Paints, but I had attributed C.P.A.'s beauty to its newness and assumed that United Center, being older than me, would be less nice than PPG Paints.

I was wrong. deeply, lol. if we're looking for "shiny new arena beauty," United Center has it. it's a slick arena! the jumbotron is FEARSOME and MOVES(????) and has WAY TOO MANY STATS ON IT. I was very lost on where to look. kind of to the point of overstimulation. (especially after the opening jersey retirement ceremony). the concourse is very glossy and new-looking. chicago! you do sports venues well!

that being said: all of the concessions areas directly impede passersby. walking around the arena was, overall, unpleasant. I usually try to make a point to explore a new arena a little, but after venturing out for warmups and fighting MASSIVE lines and crowds everywhere, I stayed planted in my seat for the rest of the game. honestly there were TOO MANY people for my taste. I applaud United Center for their huge turnout for the ceremony, but...

there's something to be said for rinky dink arenas. I'm fond of PPG Paints Arena. it's my arena, you know? I know it really well, I know how to function in it, and it's a little (maybe a lot) outdated, but it's ours. and, god bless it, it's humbly-sized. manageable.

2 - Jersey/Number Retirement Ceremonies Are Neat And I Almost Cried

I do not know Hossa. at all. I maybe saw him play a game or two against the pens, but that's the extent of it. despite that, I'm a sucker for a good ceremony, and I thought they did a really nice job with it... even if it was REALLY long, haha. the crowd REALLY liked him and supported him and it was pretty neat to watch.

that being said... I almost started crying when my mind inevitably went to what Sid, and Geno, and Tanger's jersey retirements are going to look like. like, I was tearing up at this very heartfelt ceremony for a guy I didn't know and an organization I have animosity towards. I've always known I'd cry at a SidGenoTanger ceremony, but it struck me very concretely at this moment that I will be bawling when that happens. I'm talking full-on ugly crying. I'm going to be sobbing in the penguins' arena on those fateful days and personally I hope that is far, far in the future.

3 - The United Center Employees Were Conspiring To Foil Me

the customer service was, ah, not ideal. I dealt with a really condescending parking lot attendant who had no interest in answering apparently really stupid questions from someone who has never been to a sporting event at this arena, which made me roll my eyes but, like, whatever, we got parked and survived it, so hey, that's cool.

but oh, warmups. ohoho, warmups.

for the uninitiated: in Pittsburgh, at PPG Paints Arena, you can go down to the glass and stand there during warmups, no matter if you're seated in that section or not. provided you're not in someone's seat and they come kick you out, you're allowed to be there to observe.

the only time I've ever had an issue there was when this curmudgeonly usher manning the section used to get on people's cases for standing in the aisles. I haven't seen him since 2018 or so, so I hope he's retired from his career of hassling young families and random 20somethings.

in Seattle, jes and I had noooo problem at all going down for warmups. none at all. foolish me, I assumed all arenas were as accommodating. United Center was here to prove me wrong!

at the first aisle I tried to go down, an employee asked to see my ticket. I asked if I was allowed to just go down and observe warmups; he said no. I was not ready to give up, so I turned around and walked a bit further to another entrance point. this time I got down to the glass unencumbered! a man sitting in that section told me I wasn't allowed to go past the second step (??) and actually reach the glass, but hey, that's cool.

then ✨our guys✨ came out! there they were! glorious in their white kits! lookin' great! it never escapes me that PPG Paints Arena has waaaay worse lighting than other arenas, because there is an appreciable difference in brightness at our home rink and both Seattle/Chicago.

and then an employee came down and kicked me out :) once again asking for proof of tickets, and when I asked about just watching warmups, I got another "no, not allowed." damn, United Center! take pity on those of us who can't afford your lower bowl! I actually went to talk to local hockey fans after the game to inquire about the whole thing: is that policy? the answer I got was: security was very tight because of the ceremony that happened earlier :/ apparently watching warmups might have been permissible on another night, but the arena was very full and the employees were pretty clamped-down on the rules.

sigh! I get it, but I'm a little 🤨🙄 about it too. not that I'm going to make a habit out of going to games in Chicago—we suck in that arena, and also it's expensive!—but I think watching the pens in this city is gonna be a one-and-done for me.

I hilariously and sadly missed the geno-prank-stretching situation during all this, but with it being so well-documented online, I am just accepting what happened and being grateful I was there at all. accept that which you cannot change, etc. etc.

I will say, this did sour my opinion of the arena, which makes my official hockey-viewing-arena ranking list as follows:

Climate Pledge Arena: slick, gorgeous, new, it's like you're trapped in an amazon original, consistent branding makes it kind of magical? great, youthful energy and a really fun atmosphere.

PPG Paints Arena: it's home and it's ours and I love it very much. it's your homely wife you return to after your long voyage at sea. her stew is middling at best and the house is a little rough around the edges, but she's kept it tidy and familiar for you. what more could you ask for?

United Center: the fans are passionate, loud, and so very into it. honestly it felt more barn-like than PPG Paints. I see why we have the "corporate" feeling arena; the hawks fans just have a general passion that we lack, I think :/ however: your multilayered state-of-the-art jumbotron overwhelmed me, your concourse design is horrible to navigate, and your employees were kinda rude. sorry <3

Lincoln Financial Field (2019 Stadium Series): 0/10 horrible experience would not recommend on any level

I perhaps should rank United Center higher, because I have officially BROKEN MY CURSE of seeing my team lose at away arenas, but... listen. my decisions must be made by vibes and not wins.

4 - Meet The Rimouskis Family: Hockey Novices

I've been into hockey for over 6 years now, and I have never been to an NHL game with my family before! I was able to take my sister to a college game once, but that's all. this was a brand new experience for all of them, and I'm so appreciative that they were game. we learned a lot about ourselves... namely:

my middle sister is very easy to rope into sports, lol. she's not a Sports Girl by any means, but as she put it to me: "give [her] a team to root for and [she's] in". and in she was! when I offered to pack an extra jersey for her, she took it and repped Sid, which was sweet.

my family doesn't really get my interest in hockey but they are really sweet and accepting of it and game to go. it was funny, though, when the penguins would score and I would LAUNCH out of my seat screaming and fist-pumping and my family would just be sitting there ahahaha.

they were also not as adept in the art of worming-one's-way-through-hockey-crowds as I, but I'll admit that I'm impatient and short. they had a good time and honestly knew more than I gave them credit for. I did have to explain the concept of a power play to my sister, but my dad honestly held his own for the whole game. he'll watch pens games if they're on national broadcasts and text me about the results, which I find sweet. he's not a hockey guy, but he's finding it more palatable now that I'm into it and that fighting isn't as much of a thing as it was when he was a kid.

5 - The Arena Did Right By Geno

They really did. My parents were asking me ahead of the game if I thought Geno would get any recognition from the home team because of Hossa's retirement ceremony. I told them that I was hoping for a commercial-break titlecard, and sure enough, that's what we got!

the fans in the building were REALLY good about it, too. lots of applause and cheering. I know I touched on it earlier but: the fans in this arena are loud. it's impressive. geno wasn't lying when he said it's a loud, intimidating arena to play in!

6 - Experience Penguins Hockey, Baby!

I regret to inform you that I Began Experiencing Hope as soon as he had a great start. my greatest folly was doing as the team did and thinking, wow, a three goal lead! we have this in the bag!

aha. wow. who would have guessed what was about to happen next!

Jumping around and cheering as the only person in your immediate vicinity doing said jumping and cheering is a weird experience! not sure if I recommend, but it helped I wasn't truly alone with my family there. I have a mixed experience about them all seeing how viciously into it I get, but... I can't help it, alas.

speaking of:

7 - Anxiety And You And The Pittsburgh Penguins: A Shitty Guide

I started getting nauseous after the 2nd hawks goal... and when we hit the last 10 minutes in the third period, I started bargaining with a god I do not believe in and mercifully asking him to, if the hawks were going to even it up, make it so that they scored THEN and not with less than five minutes to go. there are few things I hate more than an opponent evening up the game with POCKET CHANGE left on the clock. it's horrid.

so NATURALLY that's exactly what happened. I sat there and told myself it was fine :) it was fine I was used to this it was fine :) I've never seen them play in chicago before because we always suck in chicago it's fine :) nothing can hurt me hockey isn't real :)

8 - Sidney Crosby Said You Aren't Going To Ruin His Tall Beautiful Wife's Big Night

I can't express how animalistically I screamed when sid scored that goal. I can't. I launched out of my seat and was just RIOTING, an army of one, down at the ice. I might've alarmed my dad a bit. it's okay.

seeing him do that fuck you celly was An Experience unto itself. I literally commented to my dad that you DON'T see sid celly like that anymore.

well, you don't see him celly like that anymore unless he's winning the game for his brother-bestie-soulmate in a city he's never scored in. you know. all casual-like. nbd.

as @yabagofmalk said, love is real and it was invented in pittsburgh.

also BIIIIIIIG big thank you to the hawks fan who shouted "KILL SID" from behind me at the game. I know in my heart of hearts sid heard him and decided he was winning this game. in true form, the crowd booed loudly after he scored and also when his goal was announced over the speaker. it fueled him. and me. because I'm nice but sometimes playing villain is fun.

9 - FOMO, But, Like, From NOT Being Not-There?

I had a good time. I want to start this section by saying: this was fun and I'm so glad my family came and I got to show them ✨hockey✨ and MY TEAM WINNING.

however:

I actually feel liked I missed out on... a lot? by not being online and with you all and the twitter folks? it's weird, because while I was busy interacting IRL with my family and, like, the hawks fans I guess, I was missing out on EVERYTHING that was happening online with friends and other fandom members.

I can compare it to sid's 1000th, which we were ALL online for because of the pandemic. that sucked, and I would have given up a lot to have been there, but I very much felt PART of something by participating in online fandom spaces and experiencing that with me peers online.

and, weirdly, when you're there, it's like... sure you're experiencing it with ONE group of peers, but not the usual one? and perhaps not the ones who will most directly relate to your experience? it was an interesting feeling to have.

I guess this is all to say: these online spaces we share are so incredibly important and powerful and joyous, and I am (as always) so grateful to be a part of them. I love you guys!

10 - Evgeni Malkin ✨❤️

Geno is so colossally important to me. I was reflecting, as we left the arena, the trials and tribulations he's been through to get here. I was able to explain his ~escape~ story to my parents and it's one of those things where I've read and heard and talked so much about it that having a fresh set of ears listen to the story really drives home WHAT, exactly, he did to achieve his dream, and how nuts it was.

he's special, and I think the way the organization reacts to any mention of him—with wry, fond smiles and delighted laughs and ever-amused anecdotes—speaks more than any stat from the ice could.

how lucky we all are! how fortunate that we are all here, at this time, at this moment, to experience and appreciate this! no matter if you started watching penguins hockey 20 years ago or 2 months ago, you get to experience evgeni malkin. what a treat that is for all of us. how cool for things to line up in that way. what a night. what a player.

and kris... you're up next. break out the cat ears, buddy.

[dari-ede]

In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 15

Chapter 15: "꿈처럼 뛰어들 때"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Rating: M (sexual/adult themes, mention of sexual assault in other chapters)

Progress: COMPLETE

NOTE: Their first date. Sadly, no smut again. Damn Namjoon wouldn't let me. 😒 However, there's a nice amount of fluff.

Appearances: Jackson Wang

~~~~~~

-September-

“I am so sorry. I feel shitty doing this to you again,” Namjoon said on the other end of the phone. He had just told me date night had to be postponed again.

Namjoon and the rest of the guys had packed schedules. Not only were they preparing for their online concert, but there were numerous projects they were working on, such as the AMAs and Jingle Ball performances.

When Namjoon shared the Jingle Ball news, I had been thrilled for them. Their recognition and popularity in the US were expanding and they very much deserved it. However, there was one small drawback to this celebration: our date night kept getting postponed. Not to mention our usual hangouts were almost nonexistent.

However, it wasn’t only Namjoon’s busy schedule that kept pushing back our date. My schedule was also a contributing factor. Music had made its way back to me like it hadn’t in years. I couldn’t stop the tunes and harmonies and lyrics from forming in my head. Every day, I was creating music for hours on end. And nothing I was writing felt like I could give away. Every song was meant to be mine.

There were a couple of songs I had become so passionate about, I rented out a studio at HYBE to record them. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, seeing that there were spies everywhere in the building. The only time I used a studio at HYBE was when I was working on a company project. But my excitement for my new music made me dismiss my worries. It didn’t take too long for the staff to figure out I was in the studio for myself rather than another artist.

Word got to Sihyuk, who called my manager to ask if I was working on another album, who in turn called me with the same question. And because I never lied to Kyung when it came to my music, I admitted to the songs I was working on. This excited Kyung. He started spreading the word to music labels to find me a new home. He was certain he could get me the perfect contract. And for the first time in a long time, I felt the hunger and drive to make an album again.

My days were now full of phone calls from Kyung about who I could work with. And because of the large time difference between Korea and California, my nights consisted of being on the phone—not being able to visit Namjoon. Namjoon might have postponed our date twice, but I had postponed it three times.

If I was being completely honest, I didn’t care about missing out on the date. I was mostly saddened at not spending time with my best friend. We typically had lunch together a few times a week, but since our time back from the soop, we were lucky to eat together twice a week. Sure, we talked on the phone and messaged each other throughout the day, but it wasn’t the same.

His news of having to postpone the date was disappointing, but I didn’t want to make him feel more guilty than he already sounded. “It’s ok,” I tried to sound sincere. “What came up?”

“More filming of the new merch—some photoshoots as well. And then Sihyuk scheduled a personal meeting with me. But it has nothing to do with Bangtan. The meeting is about another artist,” he said. His voice turned serious.

This was concerning. Sihyuk knew Namjoon had his hands full with an endless number of Bangtan projects, why would he be adding to Namjoon’s plate? The only reason why Namjoon was ever involved with other artists in the company was for songwriting. “Namjoon, you don’t have enough time to write for another artist. You barely have time to eat.”

“It’s not for songwriting,” he assured.

“Then why does he want to meet with you?” I asked, confused.

“Sihyuk really wants to sign an artist to the company. And he thinks I can help persuade this person.” He was being very careful with his words, I could tell.

It sank in who he was referring to. Me. I immediately felt concerned. Was Sihyuk reaching out to Namjoon because he was a friend of mine, or had he learned Namjoon was something more? “Does he know about us?”

“No. And I don’t think he suspects anything. We’re friends, which is why he’s come to me. Hoseok said Sihyuk cornered him the other day too. Asked him about your new music.”

I let out a groan as I let my body fall onto the couch behind me. I was at home and Namjoon had caught me in the middle of working on another song.

After Sihyuk had reached out to Kyung, I started to avoid going to headquarters. I didn’t want to be cornered by him. However, it appeared he had decided to corner my friends.

“I wanted to give you a heads up and wanted to know from you what—if anything—is alright for me to share with him.” There was some hesitation in his voice, almost as if he was a little scared of asking the question.

I knew why he felt this way. The topic of me and my music had been a sensitive subject for the last couple of years. But that was when I wasn’t sure of my music, things were different now—more certain, even if it had only been a few weeks. “I’m ok with him knowing I’m working on a new album. No specific details, though. I’m talking to labels about possible contracts. Those two things are ok to say. I’d rather him talk to either Ky or myself, though. I don’t like that he’s bugging you guys.”

Sihyuk was a good guy. Sometimes, he stepped over the line when it came to business, but he did it with the best of intentions. He was seeking me out for multiple reasons: I was an international artist, I had a good image—for the most part—free of controversies, I had a good standing reputation with HYBE, I had a devoted fanbase, and most importantly, I had the talent to back up my success. I was going to have to face him sooner rather than later.

“Ok. If it wasn’t Sihyuk—if it was anyone else—I would have just dismissed him and not agreed to a meeting. But I think Sihyuk is genuine when he takes an interest in an artist’s music and career,” Namjoon said with confidence. “I think he came to Hobi and me with sincerity.”

I knew this. Sihyuk had made his mistakes in how he handled the guys when they were younger, but the dynamics and relationships had changed in the last few years. The energy of the company was overall a positive one. And if I was being completely honest, a part of me wanted to sign with HYBE—particularly with Big Hit because of Sihyuk. However, I knew that was wishful thinking. Business-wise, an American label made more sense for me to sign with.

“So, still no theme or muse for your music?” he asked, slightly changing the subject.

I was more than willing to change it. “No. I think I want to take each song at a time and try not to overthink it. Maybe that’s what was causing my writer’s block. Too much thinking. Not enough feeling.”

I could practically feel him smiling on the other side of the phone. “I told you it would come to you. There was just no way you were going to continue without making another album. You're too talented to go without making music.”

He was sweet, but the compliments still made me uneasy. I was trying my best to not let them affect me. Namjoon had been right that we both had problems we needed to individually work on. And I wanted to try my best. “Thank you,” I made myself say. But then my natural instincts came in and changed the topic, “So when are you free next for the date?”

He let out a groan. “Not until after the concert. I’m free for a few hours tomorrow before I meet up with some friends. It’s been weeks that we’ve been planning a guy’s night.”

I suddenly remembered something. “We can do it tomorrow before you go out.”

“You have your weekly call with your parents,” he said as if I had forgotten.

“It’s getting pushed back. They got back from Mexico earlier this week and are now in LA, so I’m calling them later. And I have nothing planned for the morning after, so I’ll be able to sleep in.”

“Yeah, but that would still only give us four hours,” he said. “The date takes at least half a day. Minimum.”

“What could you possibly have planned that would take that long?” I asked with skepticism.

He really didn’t want to tell me his plans, but he gave in a little. “Our first activity is done outside which will take a minimum of two hours. Then there’s the dinner, which is at least an hour. Then there’s doing another outside activity that will take another hour. And then there’s us finally spending the entire night together because one of us leaving immediately after sex would feel cheap.”

I knew he wanted to make our first date perfect, but we kept pushing it back so many times already. Our availability was only going to get worse. “Namjoon, perfection doesn’t exist. I just….” I usually held back voicing my emotions to my partner, a trait I learned from my parents. Or, at least, that’s what Dr. Rob analyzed. I needed to start being more honest, however uncomfortable it might make me feel. “I want to see you. I want to hang out, even if it’s for an hour. I really could give two shits if we have sex or not.” Through my voice, I hoped he could hear my longing—my craving to be close to him. Fuck, I missed him. And it wasn’t just sexual.

He was quiet for a moment. “Really? No need for sex?”

I rolled my eyes. Did he think I was some sex fiend or something? “No, I just want to be with you.” I could feel my palms feeling a little clammy at admitting this to him. I didn't want to sound desperate. Or pathetic.

His voice turned lighter. “Ok. Tomorrow it is then. Let’s meet here at HYBE. I won’t be here; I have a personal meeting that’s going to last most of the day. But I can meet you a little before 7. Bring a jacket just in case it gets chilly.”

My heart fluttered. My palms now sweating for a different reason. “Ok.”

“Alright. Well, I gotta go. The guys are waiting. I’ll message you once I’m outta here.”

“Have fun.”

“Bye.”

As soon as I hung up, my body automatically did a weird and exciting dance. Whatever. I was alone. I gave in to my dance.

“Shit, what am I going to wear?” The sudden question made me stop and think. And I ran to my closet to figure out my outfit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day when I arrived at HYBE, I knew I was very early. But I was too excited not to be.

I figured out my outfit quickly. I remembered Jimin telling me Namjoon liked me in purple or yellow; it was easier to narrow down the clothes with that information.

I went with my favorite jeans—the ones that tended to wrap hugged my curves just right—a simple top that showed the right amount of cleavage, a purple cardigan that made my warm pigment glow, and some booties that elongated my legs and height more. With Namjoon's height, I needed help.

Making my way through security, I took the elevator to the guys’ floor. I was certain Yoongi was in the building—he always was. I could use him as entertainment before my date with Namjoon officially started. Once outside Genius Lab, I knocked. I stared down at the carpet below me, a grumpy cat looked back at me while giving me a middle finger. He'd had this thing for years, he needed a new one. After a few seconds, I knocked again. Still no response. Odd. Had he gone to the restroom?

I got my phone out and called him.

He picked up after a few rings. “Hello.”

“Where are you?”

“Huh? Why?” He sounded guarded.

“I’m outside your studio.”

“Why?” I heard a crash in the background. Yoongi let out a heavy sigh.

What was up with him? “I’m bored and need something to do for the next hour. And I’m not sure if any of the other guys are here.”

“Taehyungi should be there. And Jungkook. Go bug them.”

I made a mental note to give him a peck on the cheek the next time I saw him. “Fine. But, seriously, where are you?”

“Ahhh. Why are you so nosy?” I heard a low voice in the background, but I couldn’t work out what was said.

“Tell me or I’ll kiss you next time I see you,” I warned.

He let out another sigh. “I’ll tell you later.” Click.

I stared down at my phone and contemplated calling him back. However, I knew I wouldn’t get anywhere. I decided to dial Taehyung’s number.

He answered within three things. “Hi, noona.”

“Hey, cutie. Are you at HYBE?”

“Yes, I’m in one of the working studios. Are you here?”

I started walking toward his location; he tended to use the same room whenever he worked. “Yes. Are you busy?”

“Yes, but I can use a small break. Want to get a snack?”

“No, I don’t want to ruin my dinner. But you can get a snack while I get coffee,” I suggested, getting closer to his room.

“Ok. Are you close?”

“I’m a few doors down.” I could see the door from where I was.

“I’ll be right out.”

He opened the door just as I was about to knock on it. He did a once over on me, a wide smile appearing. “Very nice,” he said in English. “Sexy.”

I did a small twirl. “Thank you.”

The two producers in the room tried to get a peek at who Taehyung was speaking with. I didn’t want to be rude, so I stepped forward and we exchanged quick pleasantries with Tae’s team before Tae and I headed to the café.

It didn’t take longer than a few minutes before we were sitting in a private corner of the café with my coffee and Tae’s sandwich.

“Are you nervous about tonight?” he asked in a low voice, looking around to make sure no one was within earshot.

Due to COVID, the number of employees in the building was still limited. And the few people present kept a great amount of distance from one another. “A little,” I admitted to him.

He gave me a small smile. “You’re going to have fun. He really thought it all the way through,” he assured me. I noticed he was omitting Namjoon’s name entirely, taking extra precautions.

“He told you his plans?” I asked curiously.

“Yes, but don’t ask me what they are because I won’t tell.” He looked like he meant it.

“Can you at least tell me if I’m dressed ok for it?” I sat all the way back in my chair to give him a look at my outfit just in case he had forgotten.

Of course, I didn’t have to. Taehyung had an eye for fashion and remembered what I was wearing. “You look good. But…” He gave me a slight look of uncertainty when he looked down at my shoes. “Did you bring something else, just in case?”

“Oh, I have a skirt and heels in my bag,” I assured him. I had backup items in my big purse just in case.

"Let me see," he requested, bending towards the purse.

"I actually took a picture of it. If I take it out, it'll look suspicious," I said as I looked through my phone and searched for the photo I had taken earlier.

Once I found it, I showed it to him. Tae leaned in, took the phone from me, and looked pleased. "Perfect. Put this on right before dinner. This skirt and heels will show off your legs to him. We caught him plenty of times staring at them," he said, giving me back my phone.

What guy wasn’t into legs? I had caught him openly gawking at them several times. And if I was being completely honest, it felt good to know he had a physical attraction toward me.

“You know, if he didn’t have something else to do tonight, I would have canceled my weekly call with my parents and just stayed over his house all night. Or have him over.”

Taehyung shook his head. “He’s canceled so many times with his friends. I think Jackson was slightly serious when he said if he didn’t make it for this hangout, he was considering breaking up the friendship.”

It was funny because I knew Jackson didn’t mean it.

For a moment it was quiet. I took another sip of my coffee, trying to cool down my nerves. My eyes turned towards Tae and found him looking at me with an adoring smile. “What?”

“I like that you guys are together,” he said sweetly.

I really didn’t know how to respond to that. I just smiled, gave a short nod, and took another drink of my coffee.

“After so many years, it’s good to see that it has finally happened,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. “Seven is a lucky number.”

I was a little thrown back. “I haven’t liked him for that long.”

“No, I meant the friendship,” Taehyung clarified. “But you have liked him for a while.”

I shook my head, still shocked how I had gone so long without realizing my feelings for Namjoon had developed deeper without me realizing it. “I don’t know why it took so long to figure out I liked him this way. I mean, I’ve had a small crush on him every now and then but it would always be brief. It always went away when he was in a relationship or if I was.”

He nodded. “You both are very loyal, so allowing yourselves to like one another when in another relationship was never going to happen. Plus, you hadn’t gotten to know each other the way you do now. It’s very…difficult to tear down his walls.” He began to lower his voice. “Living with him for as long as we have, it was even hard for some of us. I don’t think he does it on purpose, it’s just his personality. He's very reserved, takes on many responsibilities, and feels like he has to take on a lot of burdens himself.” His eyes looked a little sad as he said this.

I understood the sadness personally. It had taken me years to finally be let into his world. While we had been "friends" for seven years, it wasn't until the last two that I felt we truly were. There didn't seem to be many walls between us.

Right then, my phone went off. I looked down to see Namjoon calling.

Taehyung frowned as he looked at the caller ID. “You still have him under ‘Moni’?”

I picked up the phone and answered, ignoring Tae’s question.

“How romantic,” he muttered sarcastically.

“Who’s romantic?” Namjoon asked on the other end of the line.

“Ignore Tae,” I said simply as I stuck out my tongue at the young man across the table from me. “Are you here?” I asked, feeling hopeful.

“Yeah. I’m in the parking lot. Are you ready?” His voice sounded upbeat.

“Yups. I’ll meet you there.” I hung up and gathered my things, Taehyung doing the same.

“You know that he’s starting to put that word into his vocabulary?” Tae asked as he got up from his chair.

I got up with him, pushing in my chair. “What word?”

“Yups. It’s your word and now he says it,” he explained as he waited for me.

“Well, I’ve picked up a few of his own habits,” I countered. “I cycle now.”

“Can you at least change the name to ‘Babe’ or ‘BF’. Why keep him as ‘Moni’?” Tae changed the subject as we walked together towards the elevator. “I haven’t heard you call him that in years.”

“Well, I can’t exactly save him under his real name or other nicknames,” I explained as we waited for the elevator to open. “If the wrong person were to look over my shoulder at the wrong time, they would be able to decipher who he is.”

“What do you have me under?” he asked curiously. The doors opened and we both went in, hitting the buttons for our destinations.

“Weirdo,” I answer lovingly, giving him a smile.

He didn’t look like he believed me. “Really?”

I nodded. I got my phone out, opened Contacts, and showed him.

“You’re so mean,” he said with a smile. “What about Jimin?”

“Lovely,” I responded.

Tae gave me an incredulous look. “And I get ‘weirdo’?”

“Well, that was more his own doing. I originally had him under ‘dummy’ but he found out and managed to get ahold of my phone to change it,” I explained.

He extended his hand. “Give.”

The elevator dinged and doors opened. We had arrived at Tae’s floor. I swatted his hand away. “Next time. Out.”

He leaned over to give me a hug. “Have fun. And remember to switch your outfit.”

“I will,” I said as he stepped out.

We waved goodbye as the doors closed.

A few moments later, I arrived at the parking lot several floors down. I made my way towards where the company cars usually were. Due to his height, I found Namjoon quickly.

As I made my way to him, I allowed myself to savor how good he looked. He was sporting nice, light blue jeans, a black shirt, and a brown jacket. He had on a pair of timberlands and a dark blue baseball cap. I could eat him up, he looked so good. The only thing I disliked about his outfit was his sunglasses and that was only because they were hiding his gorgeous browns.

He gave me a small but deep dimple smile. “Hey,” he said in his low, timbre voice.

“Hey, handsome,” I greeted as I openly let my eyes rake over him.

An embarrassed chuckle came out of him as he turned and gestured towards the open door of the vehicle. The driver was right next to the door, bowing.

I bowed back and entered the vehicle. If the driver wasn’t present, I would have jumped on Namjoon and planted one on him, but I made sure to keep my distance.

We spoke a bit in the car as we drove off, keeping things light.

The car came to a stop about twenty minutes later. I looked around and didn’t recognize where we were at first. I was sure we were in Dongdaemun but wasn’t sure of the exact location. In the two years I had been living here, it was an area I was unfamiliar with.

We were parked in an off alley away from most of the public. Very few people were around, so I wasn’t too worried about being recognized when I stepped out of the car. Namjoon was right behind me with big, empty bags in his hands. We were both sporting masks and thanks to our very casual wear, we easily blended in.

Namjoon turned to the driver and they communicated about where we would meet next. The driver nodded and got back into his car. Namjoon led the way into the streets.

“What’s with the bags?” I asked curiously as I eyed them.

“You’ll see. Come on, we don’t have much time. I promise next time we’ll come earlier,” he said in a low voice so only I could hear.

I knew he was doing this due to people easily recognizing him off his voice. He already stood out due to his height, if he were to speak, he would be at the center of attention.

I followed him closely but kept at a decent distance.

He looked down at me and gave me one of his eye smiles. “You look great, by the way.”

I wanted nothing more than to lean into him, but I restrained myself. “Back at ya. You know, my favorite look on you is anything in a hat—preferably a baseball cap.”

“Well, it’s going to be easy to please you. I’m not even gonna have to try,” he joked.

I sent him a flirtatious smile. He couldn’t see it because of the mask, but I was sure he could sense it. “You really don’t have to try. You exude self-confidence and I don’t think there’s a thing in the world sexier than that.”

I could see his cheeks glowing red, but he didn’t say anything.

We turned a couple of more streets until I finally saw it. Right in front of me was one of the most beautiful sceneries imaginable. It felt as if I had walked into a fantasy—a location I could only dream of.

My feet stopped walking so I could fully capture the sight. I knew where we were. A place I had been wanting to visit for a long time but just never got around to.

Next to me, Namjoon let out a small laugh. “Incredible, isn’t it? I remember being taken aback the first time I came here.”

In front of us was an endless view of street vendors and small shops with a plethora of books. The stacks of texts were so high and many that it almost felt like the scene from Aladdin in the Cave of Wonders. Except for the abundance of jewels and gold that Aladdin was presented with, I was staring into an abundance of hardcovers and paperbacks. We were in Cheonggyecheon Second Hand Book Street. A place where a plethora of books (used and new) from all over the world were sold at decent prices. Namjoon had spoken a few times about coming to this place, but we had always put it off.

“I could stay here for days,” I said breathlessly.

“Unfortunately, we have thirty minutes,” Namjoon said regrettably.

“Let's hurry,” I said as I rushed over to the first shop closest to me.

The next thirty minutes flew by quickly but were so incredibly satisfying. My eyes and brain could not keep up with all the different treasures surrounding me. I focused mostly on the books that looked the rarest and most interesting. I selected a few that were at least 100 years old and a few that were leather bound and in languages I was not familiar with. My hands carried a heavy bag in each. If I hadn’t been as excited as I was, I would have fought Namjoon harder when he paid for all the books. I was far too happy to try and argue.

He bought a couple books for himself, but mostly assisted me in picking for my selection.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to travel far to reach the driver. Namjoon had him park fairly close. We dropped off the bags at the vehicle, freeing our backs and arms of the heavy burden. After leaving the books, Namjoon informed me we weren’t set to leave yet. We were going to be taking a small stroll before leaving for our next destination. He communicated to the driver the next location to meet us in and the two of us headed over to walk along the Cheonggyecheaon stream.

We walked side by side, but still with distance between us. “Thank you,” I said enthusiastically. “I could have looked through those books for hours.”

He looked absolutely delighted. “I knew you would like it. Which are you most excited about?”

I thought for a moment. “That very old, rustic hardback about Greek mythology. The small, brown one. It’s so old and smells a little funky. That’ll be interesting to read through.”

“Lucky it was in English,” he said.

We walked along the stream, passed the market, and did a little bit of window shopping. It was our first date, but there wasn't too much awkwardness. Tonight didn’t feel any different than when we would hang out as friends. Was that a good thing or a bad thing, I wondered? I tried to push the thought away as I noticed we were getting close to our vehicle. It was a good thing it was the middle of a workweek and evening. Not many people were out and about, allowing us to have a pleasant time without disturbance.

We got into the vehicle and started our drive. For the next thirty minutes, we mostly talked about the books we had bought and looked through them. Namjoon had bought another art book that caused him to go into a song he was working on. The conversation then turned to their next album and the songs I was helping them write.

We made a turn on Namjoon’s complex. After passing the first set of security, we got out of the vehicle. We each took two book bags.

Namjoon gave a quick thanks to the driver and began to lead the way.

I gave the driver my thanks as well while I noticed Namjoon getting on his phone. It appeared he was sending a text to someone.

“Who are you messaging?” I asked, trying to get a peek at his phone. It was all for fun, though. He was way too damn tall for me to see anything. Even with the booties.

He knew I was teasing but still dodged me. “Stop being nosy,” he said with a smile.

As we went through another round of security, we made small talk. I wasn’t too worried about the guards noticing us together. I had come here enough to meet Namjoon for our biweekly bike rides or hikes that the security recognized me immediately.

A few minutes later, I was proven right as we arrived at the front of his door.

I let out a dramatic gasp. “What are your neighbors going to think about me coming over?” I asked in a dramatic whisper. There was no one around us.

He let out a smile as he unlocked the door and held it open for me. “We have four bags full of books and we’re wearing casual clothing. I doubt they’ll think too much into it.”

I walked inside. “And here I thought these books were to please me, but in reality, you’re just using them as a cover up.”

The door closed softly behind him. “It’s multi-purpose: I get to spend time with two of my favorite things: books and you. It throws the scent off of us—they’ll think we’re just working.” He set our bags down and took off his shoes, not bothering to set them to the side.

He had said it so casually and swiftly that I wondered if he had realized what he said. But I had caught it: two of my favorite things: books and you. The confession made my heart rate speed up and I could feel a smile forming that I couldn’t control.

I placed my shoes neatly next to the door as I tried to control my heart rate. I moved his as well, not wanting any accidents.

When I turned towards him, he had his attention on me, a smile lingering on his face. “What?” I asked, taken aback by the look on his face.

He took a few steps towards me, closing the gap between us.

I felt his hands come to my waist and pull me close. The scent of his smoky leather fragrance filled my senses. He smelled so good, I wanted to bury my nose in him. I looked up at the gorgeous man in front of me.

He leaned down, pressing his lips lightly against mine.

We hadn’t seen each other in a couple days, but my lips felt as if it had been an eternity. It felt like I was taking a much-needed breath.

He pulled away slightly, smiling down at me. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the parking lot,” he said in a husky voice.

I clung to his forearms, wanting him to bring his lips to me again. “Why didn’t you?”

“I’m an idiot,” he mumbled and leaned down again, giving me what I wanted.

I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss, but suddenly a loud and odd sound went off.

We pulled away from each other and looked around, wondering where such noise had come from. The noise was heard again. And at the same time, I felt my stomach move. The sound was coming from something closer than I thought: my stomach.

“You’re starving,” Namjoon said, his eyes set on my stomach. “Sorry.” And then he began to move. “Give me five to ten minutes,” he said hurriedly as he fled into the kitchen.

I suppressed a laugh as I walked into the clean and pristine household. Namjoon wasn’t incredibly messy, but he wasn’t neat either. I could tell he had gotten help to make the house look as spotless as it did now.

As I made my way down the hall, I noticed the dining room had been set up nicely. The last time I had been here, the table had been stacked with books and notes. He usually used it as a working desk. Now, the table looked like I had walked into a restaurant.

I smiled and made my way to the table, admiring the work and thought that was put into the design. The plates selected were gorgeous and assembled nicely across from one another. The glass candles were simple yet elegant. The yellow flower petals placed throughout the table added a romantic touch. And the small and short flower arrangement which contained a couple of sunflowers was incredibly sweet.

It looked as if this was a real restaurant, where a fancy dinner was about to be served.

At the thought of this, I remembered I was dressed too casual. Grabbing my bag, I headed to the restroom. “I’m going to use the restroom,” I announced.

“Ok,” Namjoon called back to me.

It didn’t take long to change. I debated for a while if I wanted to put on my heels or leave them off since we were indoors. But I remembered Taehyung’s words about Namjoon loving my legs and opted to put them on. Thankfully, I had cleaned them recently and hadn’t worn them since.

After doing a touch-up on my makeup and hair, I made my way to the dining room. Waiting there were two wine glasses and a bottle of Merlot.

I was about to walk over to it when a crashing noise came from the kitchen, followed by a grunt. Acting instinctively, I hurried over. “Is everything ok?”

“Yes,” Namjoon assured me just as I stepped inside the kitchen. His back was towards me and was crouching over a couple of plates. The source of the noise was immediately discovered: several utensils were scattered throughout the counter. Namjoon was mumbling something to himself.

Immediately, a whiff of pork and parmesan filled the room. “That smells good.”

Namjoon’s head snapped toward me. “Why are you in here? Wait at the table.”

I didn’t listen and took a few steps closer. “What do you expect me to do when I hear a crashing noise?”

“Ignore it. I’m constantly dropping things, so it should be of no surprise,” he mumbled as he went back to what he had been working on.

My curiosity kept bringing me closer.

He caught me. “Hey!” He tried to block me from looking.

I ducked and peeked under his arm, noticing what he was working on. It was spaghetti with what looked to be bacon. However, I had a pretty good nose, so I knew the bacon was actually guanciale. It was carbonara—one of my favorite foods! But it didn’t look professionally made.

“Did you cook this yourself?” I asked in astonishment.

He let out a sigh and moved aside, allowing me to get a full view. “Yeah. I made it right before getting to you. And I was just reheating it in the pan. I was putting in some cheese to add a finishing touch. How does it look?” he asked timidly.

I looked down at the pasta dish. The sauce was a bit curdled, meaning he had cooked the sauce with too high a heat. The bacon also looked a little too dark than it should have been, but it couldn’t have looked more perfect. I turned to him excitedly, “It looks really good!”

His face turned lighter at my reaction and he let out a sigh. “Really?”

I looked back down at the plates and stared at them for a good moment. Namjoon was immensely talented in many areas, but it was no secret that things that tended to be simple for the average person—such as cooking and driving—were a struggle for him. For years, he had tried his hand in the kitchen, only to flop most of the time. So, seeing that he had tried his hand at making something himself for our first date made my heart squeeze.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was low and gentle as his eyes roamed over my face.

I didn’t understand his concern. “What do you mean?” I asked, turning to him.

He frowned but there was a small smile on his face. “You look—” he stopped himself as if finally realizing something.

“I look like what?” I asked, taken aback. Had he finally noticed I was in a skirt and heels? I looked down at myself, just checking to see if there was something I was missing. Did he not approve of shoes in the house? “Should I take off my shoes?”

“Whoa,” he said suddenly as he looked down. He took a step back, getting a better view of me. His eyes were so wide and his mouth was hanging open that it was easy to tell he very much approved of the look. A feeling of satisfaction overwhelmed me, but that didn’t stop a blush from creeping its way through my cheeks.

“You look h—great.” His eyes roamed around my legs.

I could only handle being ogled by him for so long. I gave him a slight shove on the shoulder, snapping him out of it. “Come on, I’m starving.” I made a grab for both dishes.

He immediately reacted. “No, let me.”

“You cooked, it’s the least I can do,” I insisted.

He shook his head as he took the dishes from me. “I have all this planned. Go.”

I pouted a little but followed instructions. He got ahead of me the closer I got to the table, however. He put down the plates so he could pull out a chair for me, which I appreciated.

After pouring each of us some wine, Namjoon made his way to his chair. He smiled sweetly and gestured to the dish. “You want me to try it first to see if it’s poisonous?”

I rolled my eyes. I picked up my fork and went for it. I wasn’t worried at all. Due to the way I grew up, I wasn’t a picky eater. While I may have been raised well off, my parents ensured we weren't picky eaters. Only on very seldom occasions did we have fancy meals. I always ate whatever was presented to me and never complained about it. I doubted there was anything Namjoon could make that would make it inedible for me.

Making sure I made full eye contact with Namjoon, I placed the first bite into my mouth and chewed. His face looked a little scared for me. The first thing I tasted was the saltiness of the pasta. It wasn’t intolerable, but just a bit too much for my taste. The guanciale tasted a little charred—it had slightly burned. And the sauce felt a little off—pretty sure it was because the egg had curdled. The dish was decent, though. I would even say, near tasty.

I gave him a nod and went for seconds. “It’s good.”

His eyes popped a little in surprise. “Are you serious?”

I nodded and motioned for him to taste his creation.

He picked up his fork and did so. He made a funny face immediately. “That’s salty.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Just a bit. But it’s still good.”

Namjoon didn’t look convinced. He reached for his wine and took a sip. His face looked a little more pleased. “The wine downs it pretty good. Try it.”

I did and had to admit he was right. “It makes the dish extra tasty.”

“It’s a fine bottle, it’ll make even the worst dish seem edible,” he said, bashing himself.

He was doing it a little too much for my liking. “Stop,” I said, going in for my third bite. I didn’t like him putting himself down too much, even if he was only joking. “So, how was your day?”

He took another sip of wine and let out a sigh. “Alright, I guess.”

We weren’t around anyone else, so I was able to fully focus on his face. His eyes looked a little heavy and his shoulders were sagging slightly. “Tough day?” I asked, feeling concerned.

“Not really. Just long.” He scratched his head and leaned back in his chair, trying to relax. “I was with my financial adviser for most of the day. Dealing with my company shares.”

“Did you decide how much you’re going to sell?” I asked, remembering he had mentioned this before. He wanted to invest in art so as to open his own exhibit sometime in the near future.

He nodded and went on to explain how much he sold. It was a good amount.

“It should be enough to get you a nice quantity of art pieces,” I said enthusiastically.

He gave a small smile, but he seemed to be holding it back.

I had a good guess as to why. “Is it stressing you because it’s a lot of money?” Namjoon was very conservative with his spending and savings. This had been a big step for him.

“A little,” he admitted. “I don’t regret it, but I can’t help but worry.”

“It’s for a great reason, though. Your own collection! How exciting!” I was very pumped for him. “Can you just imagine it—opening up the doors to a display of your own collection?”

A genuine smile came across his face. He was happy again. And then he made a comment that he was going to have to be careful with the rest of his shares, feeling a bit concerned if he sold too many too fast.

I had the instinct of asking him how much his shares were but I didn’t want to pry.

It was one of the few topics I never talked to Namjoon about: finances. While we knew much about each other, one of the things that were still a mystery to me was his true net worth and the amount of money he had in the bank. And it was the same about me to him. I never told him in full detail my worth. In fact, I had never told any of my former boyfriends about my money. It was something I never felt comfortable sharing.

For a moment, I wondered if this would become an issue in the future for us. But that was for another time. We hadn’t even been together a month. We were supposed to be taking things slow.

“How’s the recording coming along?” he asked, reading my mind and changing the topic.

I was grateful. “My vocals are shot. I was trying to hit this one note and I couldn’t. It was embarrassing. I’m going to have to go back to vocal lessons,” I said, taking a sip of my wine.

“You mean with a vocal coach?” he asked, taking a bite from his food. He made another face after eating it. He must have forgotten he was eating his own food. It was cute.

I laughed at his expressions. “I scheduled a few sessions with my vocal coach. It’s going to suck having to do them virtually, but,” I shrugged my shoulders in defeat, “What are you going to do?”

We went on to talk about the latest updates I had received from my family. He then told me of his own family and how they were going to be joining him for the concert in the States. Apparently, some of the guys were going to be taking their families so they could have a vacation with them in the States. After two years, they wanted to take advantage of the opportunity.

I managed to finish my carbonara and wine without realizing it. We continued into the night talking and laughing as Namjoon explained the other projects the group was involved in. We finally had the time to share full stories with one another since we hadn’t been able to.

He was telling me how one of his favorite shirts had gotten a stain on it due to one of Jimin’s pranks gone wrong when his house phone went off. Very few people had his house number and even less called it rather than his cellphone. Whenever the house phone went off at the guys’ dorms, it was usually the front desk or security.

Namjoon checked his watch and then his phone. “Shit.” He hurried over to the phone and took his cell phone out. “I bet it’s Jackson. He called my phone several times, but I have it on silent.” He answered the landline.

I could hear the loud male voice on the other end. Namjoon had been right. It was Jackson.

“I’ll be right down. Give me 15.” He hung up the phone and turned to me, a disappointed look on his face.

I got up and started gathering the dishes. “Well, at least we got a few hours.”

Namjoon hurried over to take whatever I hadn’t been able to grab.

Together, we walked over to the kitchen and placed the dishes in the dishwasher. Once they were put away, Namjoon turned to me and pulled me close. “I’m sorry this date wasn’t longer.”

I smiled up at him. “Are you kidding? It was the best. You hit all the right spots. You bought me books, we took a nice walk—”

“A very short walk. I wanted to go on a nice bike ride with you,” he said with a slight pout.

“We can save that for another date. Bike riding is more of a morning date anyways. I like rides while the sun is coming up. We can do that on a Sunday. Very few people would be out, and we would both have it off,” I suggested.

He placed his large palm around my neck as his thumb rested on my cheek. “You always have solutions for everything, don’t you?”

I linked my hands around his large back. “I really enjoyed today. It was perfect.”

He leaned down and took my lips into his. For the umpteenth time tonight, I turned to liquid. I wanted nothing more than to continue staying here with him, but a stupid voice that came in form of a Hong Kong male reminded me that Namjoon had friends who were waiting for him.

I forced myself to pull away. “Ok, go. Before Jackson storms into this house.”

“Just one more minute,” he said, pulling my face to his.

I gave in for a few seconds, giving in to bliss for at least a few seconds. However, just as the kiss began to get a little more heated, the house phone began to ring again.

Namjoon let out a groan but pulled back. “I’ll call you a cab,” he said as we headed to the front door. He took out his phone and began to make a call, not bothering to answer the house call.

I took off my heels and put on my booties. I didn’t want Jackson to catch me in heels. Unlike everyone else we had encountered, Jackson would read into every single detail and figure out what Namjoon and I were really up to.

Once I had my shoes on, I took my personal bag and one of the book bags. “Is it fine if I leave the rest here? They’re far too heavy,” I said as I stared at the other two bags on the floor.

Namjoon nodded. “Sure. Are you free for lunch tomorrow? I can bring one to you.”

I nodded, already feeling excited for tomorrow.

He pushed open the door and allowed me to go first. We made our way down the hall and through security before reaching our very needy friend.

Jackson looked slightly irritated. “Finally,” he huffed. But then he eyed me up and down, a suspicious look in his eye.

I put up my defenses. “What?”

“What were you two doing? It’s late.” Jackson's eyes went to Namjoon next.

“Work,” I said in a tone that let him know I thought it was a dumb question. I turned to Namjoon. “Be sure he pees regularly; otherwise, he’s gonna have another accident,” I sent Jackson a teasing look.

Jackson turned a little flustered. “For the last time, I didn’t pee on myself. Jinyoung spilled something on my pa—”

I loved getting him worked up, which was why I brought up a recent incident that involved a drunken him with wet pants and everyone accusing him of wetting himself. I cut him off. “Jinyoung doesn’t back up your lame-ass story. No one believes it, sweetie.”

Jackson was about to further defend himself, but Namjoon patted his friend on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s go. We’re already late.” He was holding back his laughter.

“Remember to take sips of water in between drinks,” I called out as I left.

“I didn’t pee on myself!” Jackson called out, but then he noticed he had said that a little too loud. Some of the staff were now looking at him.

Namjoon began to laugh.

I waved at them, Jackson narrowing his eyes at me in a comical way. I made my way to the entrance door of the building. As I was about to walk out, I turned one last time.

Jackson was looking down at his phone as he ranted about something and Namjoon locked eyes with me from across the building. He showed me his deep dimples and gave me a small wave.

I made sure Jackson wasn’t looking before I sent him a wink. There were still plenty of people around us. I didn’t want to raise suspicion.

He responded with a sweet wink back as I walked out.

--------------------------

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

[seventeenlovesthree]

“Shall we go together?” (12/24) | A Taishirou Christmas drabble countdown

Just a little Taishirou-centric Christmas fic I’ve been meaning to write all year long, so here we are. The plan was to post 12-24 drabbles to complete telling the story and the Christmas spirit succeeded in the end.

🧡💜

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24]

Characters: Taichi Yagami, Koushirou Izumi, Sora Takenouchi, Yamato Ishida, Agumon, Tentomon, Piyomon, Gabumon (mentions of other Chosen Children)

Main POV: Taichi Yagami

Genre: Friendship (& romance), a hint of action

Rating: K

Wordcount: 890

December 24th, 04:51 PM

 ~

 Koushirou’s prediction had become true in the end. They had arrived with a short delay, but thanks to Sora’s ‘I-brought-all-the-winter-proof-flowers-to-the-hall-yesterday-special-VIP-pass’, they had no issues getting into the concert hall.

 With blankets, coats and scarfs thrown over their Digimon partners – as per usual – and accompanied by Gabumon, they actually had managed to get a few decent seats.

 Ever since Yamato had founded ‘Knive of Day’, formerly known as ‘The Teenage Wolves’, they had ended up at this place every single year on Christmas Eve. Getting together, joking about how overly sappy Yamato’s songs still were – besides obviously enjoying the music as well –, having a drink or two afterwards, exchanging presents… It was one of the few staples neither of them would have wanted to miss out on.

 Taichi’s eyes – as much as he could gather in the dimmed light – had wandered around the hall to spot Sora’s Christmas arrangements during the performance. Of course she hadn’t done and applied everything herself, but she and Yamato had made a deal with the owners of the hall last year, which would require the Takenouchi school to provide arrangements every year in exchange for special usage privileges. And it really turned out nicely, Taichi had thought to himself, admiring the tints of red and green getting illuminated by the stage lights every so often.

 Whether or not Sora really wanted to make flower arrangements in the future – even if he could tell she wasn’t fully satisfied with her work yet –, they would have her back.

 His glance had also switched to Koushirou next to him occasionally, who, in his opinion, also looked nice in this light...

 ‘If that’s not romantic, I don’t know what is’, had been stuck in Taichi’s head all the way through and it absolutely hadn’t helped that he could have felt Sora staring at him constantly from his other side as well.

 “Don’t”, he hissed quietly without returning her stare.

 “What? I haven’t said anything”, she whispered back and he just knew she was grinning.

 “I know you’re thinking something and that’s enough.”

 “Taichi, I’m listening to Yamato giving thousands of people a reason to use this song and confess to their crushes on Christmas Eve, I am not thinking anything.” She couldn’t suppress a laugh, so he eventually turned his gaze towards her again, making her expression soften a bit. “What are you so afraid of?”

 Without even thinking twice about it, he just sighed deeply and muttered: “I’m not like you.”

 “I couldn’t have done it without you back then”, Sora said, simultaneously patting his thigh without digging any deeper than necessary, but even by just hearing those words, he was assured that she’d have his back too.

 “That–“

 He had wanted to respond something, but never managed to finish, as, all of the sudden, the room turned completely dark and silent.

 “What?!”, Sora shrieked, jumping off of her seat and the boys and Digimon followed.

 Instinctively looking back to his other side, Taichi already saw Koushirou checking both his tablet and digivice, as the former’s clock had gone completely haywire.

 “Tentomon, can you feel anything now?”

 “Do you really think it’s a Digimon?”, Taichi tried to keep his voice low and for a reason, as their eyes were growing more and more accustomed to the darkness around them and they could spot people starting to get nervous, mumbling and rustling.

 “We should try to get everyone to calm down, so there won’t be a panic”, Sora suggested and Piyomon, Agumon and Taichi nodded towards her.

 “Good idea.”

 With that, she and her partner left the row to tell their surroundings to remain seated. Yamato was also shouting from the stage to soothe the crowd, telling them that it was just a little blackout caused by technical difficulties in the back.

 “There is something…”, Tentomon eventually exclaimed. “But I’m not sure whether it’s a Digimon.”

 “I can sense it too”, Agumon agreed and Gabumon raised his nose into the air as if he was sniffing.

 “Me too. It’s like… Warm waves in the atmosphere. I have felt it a few times this month…”

 Taichi’s eyes found Koushirou’s in the dark – but he looked just as puzzled as himself, which was never a good sign. His tablet also had troubles to remain on with the current disturbances, so he kneeled down to investigate further by talking to Gabumon.

 “Only this month, Gabumon?”

 “If you’re telling me this is some kind of Christmas-virus, I’m gonna–“, Taichi began, hoping that this wasn’t the kind of Christmas spirit Hikari was referring to, but was once again disrupted – this time by Yamato, who had jumped up the stairs towards them.

 “Guys, are you okay?! Where’s Sora?!”

 “Don’t worry, she’s up there talking sense into people, we’re all fine”, Taichi comforted him, but had no time to even look for Sora in the upper rows, when he heard Agumon aggressively growling his name.

 “Taichi!”

 He had jumped in front of them, pupils narrowed, fangs bared and Tentomon and Gabumon followed him immediately.

 “It may not be a Digimon in the traditional sense…”, Tentomon hissed, sensors straightened.

 “But it’s definitely something with vile intentions”, Gabumon added, all of them ready to jump and protect their partners from a giant pile of data materializing on the stage…

[annetteblog]

I got a very long ask and wrote even longer reply, and now Tumblr for some reason doesn't want to publish it through asks. So I'm making a separate post, because what else can I do? 😀 I hope Anon wouldn't mind

Hi!

Thank you for such a long ask! I really enjoy replying those, although it may take some time to actually write whatever I have on my mind 🙂 However, I feel like for every question that you posed, it's possible to write its own big reply or even an essay, so this piece of mine probably won’t give them justice (but I’ll try my best.)

As usual, one big IMO.

1) Ethics, “gueer coding” and discussions

I believe I’ve already partly touched this subject here. Shortly, I think that everything the boys did (and still do) had its own purpose. They decided to put these "undertones" (or whatever one may call them) in their art. They made some statements with a very small room for interpretation. And it didn't happen once or twice. More like, it's been a consistent behaviour throughout years.

I don't buy this excuse some fans write - "oh, he just didn't know about this/didn't understand how it looked like/didn't..." So apparently, JK wasn't able to figure out shit about Troye, didn't give a damn about his GCF, didn't think how his tattoo looked like; JM didn't realize to what conclusions could lead his quite bold words about 4am or waking up and seeing JK; both of them didn't have second thoughts about the Black Swan dance; Bang PD is just a CEO who pays zero attention to BTS in general and KM actions in particular (which sometimes actually backlash, e.g. that stop gay fanservice thing after the Seoul concerts), because he clearly just doesn't care AT ALL; whatever PR service they have in BH is just asleep all the time... Etc etc etc, you got the idea

Well, if one wants to perceive JM, JK and BigHit as a group of complete morons with no brains, this "oh, they just didn't know" explanation may work. But if all of them were idiots, how would BTS become the biggest group on a planet? They are smart enough, deal with this.

And YET. KM still do what they do. It's their choice, so apparently they have their motives. You wrote it yourself too - "Jikook and BH put out all that stuff for a reason."

Keeping this in mind, I truly think it's fair to discuss queer undertones or KM's bond. It's meant to be discussed and speculated. They made it public, and they continue to make it public (and quite obvious, to be honest). Why? Well, I guess they want us to speculate.

From here comes the second point

2) Art and its interpretations

In general, I believe that any good art should allow various interpretations. That's what a good piece of art is supposed to do - provoke a thought. As well as it's quite customary to analyze and (sometimes) overanalyze art. Thousands of universities worldwide have programs which are focused on fine art, literature, theater, music, film, etc.

And why is it okay to write about Avengers or Madonna or whatever weird art you're able to find in the closest Contemporary museum (like a banana taped to a wall), but not okay to interpret BTS' songs and/or performances? Again, I strongly believe that art is meant to be discussed. Especially as cool as theirs 🙂

Actually, some popular fandom theories turned out to be true here. Since Spring Day release on Feb 2017, fans speculated about its connection to the Sewol ferry tragedy based on the song's lyrics, MV and choreo. We got this confirmation like when, December 2020? But before it was also just an interpretation.

Coming back to KM. Combining these with the idea that JM/JK/BH clearly know what they're doing and how it may look like, I don't see a problem in having various interpretation of their art. Including queer ones.

3) Escapism

Isn't all art targeted to escaping in a sense? We want to take a break from reality and/or mundane life or just gain some new experience. In this sense what's the radical difference between staring at pictures or sculptures in a museum, watching a movie, reading a book or scrolling through Tumblr reading BTS/KM centric posts? All of these are means to escape and entertain ourselves.

As for this "if they are a queer couple, is it okay to derive pleasure and 'what a beautiful love story' feelings from two members of systematically oppressed minority?" - and you would prefer doing what - ignoring them? pretending that they don't exist? 🙃 In case if they are a queer couple, I guess showing support and benevolence is even more important. Exactly because, as you mentioned, they are a part of the oppressed minority. And the hatred is/would be definitely in place.

4) Fanfiction

Oh my, what a controversial theme these days.

Firstly, some forget it was not invented in the 21st century. Even slash fanfiction (cough Star cough Trek). As for incorporating real people, it's been a part of literature for like what.. always? There are millions of different writings about emperors, nobles, military figures, lives of saints, etc. And it's not like personal opinion of people in question bothered those, who write or wrote about them. I clearly remember a scene in Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, where Alexander I [Russian emperor 1801-25] after losing a battle against Napoleon, hits a birch tree with his sword while crying hard and just being kinda hysterical. Would real Alexander be satisfied with such image if he read the book? Idk 😄

About having "the right to comment on such [different from your own] experience". I suppose, if authors wrote only about what they had experienced, our literature would be 95% poorer than it is. How can one write books in historic settings if they didn't live there? How do books about future and space travel exist, if we live in 2021? Is it needed to be a part of mafia to write about mafia? What about other cultures? Should an American author write only about American people and American lifestyle or it's fine to have characters from other countries?

Writing is not about experiencing something and then making a fanfic or a book, it's more about research and compassion. If you have reliable info on your theme and are able to look at the world using different lenses, why not?

I don't perceive fanfiction as a worldwide evil. Sure, there are creepy examples as well as authors, who write fetishizing weird shit. But it doesn't mean that all fanfiction=bad and all slash fanfiction=objectification of male homosexuality. Fanfiction is just one form of fiction, it can be good or bad based on how it's written. But the label itself doesn't define anything, as well as reading it should not be a reason to accusations.

5) Jikook, shipping and politics

I'm among those, who perceive pretty much everything as a part of politics. We all exist within some political conventions and have certain political laws over our heads. And yes, it includes art. Even if an artist says something like "oh, I decided to stay away from politics, my work is beyond it". The decision to stay away from politics is also political, because apparently there was something within the political structure what made this artist say that and forced them to make this distinction between them and some institutional conventions.

And that makes me believe that shipping/supporting KM is also political. But I don't think it's necessarily bad? Basically, you decided to support potentially queer people from a country, which doesn't really approve LGBTQ+. It puts you in the opposition towards a particular government. You made a choice. You could google some SK stuff, read all that you mentioned in the beginning of your ask, and say something like "oh, that's not okay there? well, fair enough, I guess their government knows better"🤠 and forget that this KM thing even exists. But apparently you didn't

Imo, is it politics? Yes

Is it bad that it's politics? Well, no? 🙃

|

P.S. I hope I was clear enough with my ideas. Thank you again for the thought provoking ask, and I hope I'll hear from you again 🙂

And honestly, I don't think that you're problematic in any way :)

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Camren Timeline (Tittle edited)

Hello, dear Anon.

I’m gonna answer your questions in order.

1) 2012-2016. This is the timeline that I’m gonna explain just because so you can go check based on the concerts, interviews, etc. Compared to the first years, the timeline from 2017 to today is much simpler because they’ve broken up very few times. This one here that I’m gonna explain (2012-2016), is based on what I know and also my theories. You can, as usual, disagree with me.

In January 2017, Camila talked about the evolution of her music during Lena Dunham’s Women of the Hour podcast, by explaining how she created her life story through the songs she wrote. Starting precisely from the age of 15, when she had her first kiss. She practically and inadvertently exposed the lie she has always been forced to tell regarding the famous first kiss she had when she was ‘17’. [The entire podcast has been removed, unfortunately. But you can go listen to the audio posted by 5HxCC News on Youtube, called ‘CAMILA CABELLO TALK FIRST KISS ON PODCAST’.]

According to the calculations, the kiss must have occurred between December 20, 2012, that is when X-Factor ended, and January 17, 2013, that is when they signed the contract with Syco/Epic in Los Angeles. My guess? It happened that same New Year’s Eve when the Cabellos spent it over at the Jaureguis.

Throughout 2013 until the beginning of April 2014, L and C had a strange relationship. They were friends, but they behaved and did things you wouldn’t do with a friend. Doesn’t that ring a bell? Oh, hello ‘Like Friends Do’!

2014: Become official in early April and broke up in late November. Small parenthesis. They were both 17 years old in April 2014. Oh, hello to you too ‘Used to This’!

2015: From the end of December 2014/the very first days of January 2015, to the beginning of April. From mid-July to mid-October. From the beginning of November to almost mid-December, they did a continuous on-again, off-again that lasted throughout 2016.

2016: from almost mid-January to mid-February. From early March to early April. From mid-May to early June. This makes me laugh. Only the first few days of August, then from mid-August to the end of August, and again, in hops the first days of September, and from after those hops, until almost the end of September. From early October to almost mid-October (broke up only for a few days), and then until mid-November. And lastly, only a few days in mid-December.

2) Camila suffers from one of the variants of OCD since she was 8, and despite seeing a therapist since 2013, her OCD was diagnosed at the end of 2015. C also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks, mood disorders, and depression (all linked to her OCD). These are things that we’ve been able to witness with our own eyes on more than one occasion. She’s always tried to bottle everything up and not show herself ‘weak’ in front of people, in front of us fans. The last thing she wanted was to let people know how much she was really struggling, and therefore, she always tried to disguise it as best she could. Many times, even using her humor as a shield. Picture certain events like a time bomb. Picture her depression as a progression ready to explode:

March 2015, mild. October, November, December 2015, and January 2016, medium. From June to August 2016, high, + explosion in early September, which consequently led to the permanent presence of mama Sinu.

Everything has been derived and therefore worsened by: 1) The rhythms that have always been crazy. 2) Having to deal with many people every day. 3) Having grown up in the spotlight and being constantly observed. 4) Labels that told them what to do (through management) even when they just had to breathe. 5) The expectations and the pressure they’d put on her for being chosen as the chosen one. 6) Having her relationship secretly because they’d rather pass her off as a killer rather than queer/bisexual/gay or in any case associate her romantically with a girl. 7) All the hatred constantly received.

And the list goes on… Anxiety consumed her life for a long time. Now comes and goes.

3) Yes, of course Laurinah were there for her. As were Ashlee, Normani, Ally, Hoko, Michel'Le, Lauren (Fuller), Roger, and a few other crew members who were with them on the tour. As were her family, Jenny, Sandra, Marielle, Mariana, Brooke, Megan, Tica, Rebecca, Guido, Steven, Javi, and her other Miami friends.

Guys, Camila is a private person. The fact that she’s private, however, doesn’t mean that at the time or now, she doesn’t have other friends. It wasn’t just Lauren, Dinah, and Ashlee. And as for 5H, of course Mani and Ally were there for her too, contrary to what they want us to believe. Just think about it. And don’t think that only Dinah was their captain. Who was the one who went to Taylor’s ‘1989 Tour’ concert with Camila? Who was the one who went with them to the famous 1975 concert in Los Angeles on April 16, 2014? Who was the one who tried to protect them from the paparazzi in London in 2015? And instead, who was the one who always helped them lie during interviews? Who was the one who could never manage to control her expressions at first glance in questions that caught them off guard?

Ally and Mani were captains as much as Dinah. There are billions of interviews that prove it. In their own way, they always helped and teased them. Think of the video where Ally fakes a laugh as Lauren loudly slaps C’s ass, who screams “Lauren!” Think about the performances of specific songs. One, for example, is ‘They Don’t Know About Us’, and Norminah always teased them especially during that song. Think about when fans asked Ally if Camren was real and she ran away, laughing and not answering. Think of Mani during the ‘BOSS or TOSS’ game. There are millions of other examples.

4) 3 times. But, as we saw with Dinah in that 2017 video, they may have given her intravenous therapies when she needed it. It’s common, especially for overworked artists.

Oh and, guys. I saw that the audio of the uncut interview with Hitz FM station that the girls did in Malaysia on July 6, 2016, which was released on August 5, has returned to spread. I don’t know why it’s back to spreading now since I heard it already, if I’m not mistaken, in 2017, and saved it a couple of years ago. But anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, I saw that they wrote what Camila says, and it’s wrong. Listen to the audio even at full volume if you want, but C doesn’t say ‘False’. This is what happens:

I (Interviewer): “This one an interesting one. Are Camila and Lauren dating?”

L: “No”

C: “Ugh, Jesus Christ”

I: “Yeah, I know” at the same time as what he says, C laughs awkwardly as a result of her comment “It comes down on Google 'cause people are googling it!”

L: “No! It’s amazing how people continue to do that”

I don’t know if whoever wrote that heard wrong or what. If it’s one of those “which name do you hear, Yanny or Laurel?” cases, you know? But I just wanted to point this out to you. That’s all.

Okay. Love u, guys. Stay safe, please. With love, Faby.

___

I decided to post this twice because I want to add this to a masterpost (Once I figure out how to do that)

But for real, this timeline is insane. I knew about a lot of those stuff except the last one about that interview. insane.

[winterscaptain]

i loved hotch’s top 3 parent moments, but what are his top 3 most defeated moments & how do the kids/mom help him cope/feel better

ooooh these got REALLY long so they’re going under a cut (they’re basically three drabbles so i included the ajf tag list (whoops))

a joyful future masterlist

1.

aaron comes back home from very long day full of infuriating people and politics, and isaac has left everything all over the living room floor. he trips on something (probably shoes) and breaks. he doesn’t get mean or anything, but his bark is definitely harsher than he intended. isaac is so so upset, and he holes himself up in his room. aaron feels awful, instantly. mom runs interference, and spends some time in the dark with isaac so he can calm down with minimal stimulus. when isaac is ready, mom goes back into the living room and finds aaron distraught, his head in his hands. 

“i promised myself i wasn’t going to become my father.” 

mom just wraps around him like a koala and is like “you’re not. you just had a bad day. for god’s sake, jack snapped at me over something ridiculous yesterday, and isaac and soph got into a knock-down drag-out fight last week about a puzzle while caro was simultaneously throwing a tantrum about fruit snacks. we’re all allowed to have bad days, and you can make it right. he’s a smart kid - just tell him what’s going on and remind him that you’re not upset with him and that you love him.” 

aaron goes to isaac’s door, knocks, and waits for isaac to tell him he can come in. aaron sits at the foot of his bed, waiting. they sit in the dark for a long time, and isaac eventually crawls into aaron’s lap. his dad tells him everything that happened in his day at work, and rounded it all off with “it was wrong of me to get upset with you, little man. it wasn’t your fault, and i love you more than anything, all the time, no matter what. i’m so sorry, and i hope you can forgive me.”

“i can.” 

mom walks in later to find them asleep, aaron propped against the headboard with his ankles crossed, isaac sprawled across his chest. 

2.

when the girls are older, maybe 14 or 15, he puts his foot down about an out-of-town concert with a friend and their older brother. the concert is a few days away, and sophia mentions it over dinner. 

without really meaning to, he goes into full drill sergeant mode and gets a little too specific about all the things that could go wrong. it was very clear in the moment that the topic was not up for discussion, that he was not under any circumstances going to allow the girls to go to a concert a couple hours away with only a nineteen year-old college sophomore as a supervisor. 

it turns into one of those “i hate you you never let me do anything” teenager moments. sophia gets up and shuts herself in the garage with the treadmill and runs until she’s tired, showering and going straight into her room without a word or glance in his direction. caroline really quietly sets her napkin on the table, and leaves out the back door, headed for the porch swing that faces the back of the property. she, too, goes to bed without saying goodnight. 

mom doesn’t say anything in the moment, and they finish dinner with the boys (isaac, now 16 or 17, and elliot, now 10 or 11) and get them ready to wind down for the night. when they settle into bed, he starts to doubt himself. 

“i was too hard on them, wasnt i?” 

before mom can answer, aaron gets a call from jack (now 26 or 27) on his cell. he tells him that sophia tattled to him about the concert, and he didnt mention this to them, but he’d be okay taking the day off work to take them and their friends, and even find a spot to stay overnight so they aren’t out driving late.

mom eavesdrops. aaron tells jack to hold on a second, and mutes him. mom says that would be a good compromise and reminds him that they aren’t little anymore, and they can mostly fend for themselves (thanks to a few weeks’ worth of self-defense with derek over the summer). “i know it’s hard, honey. i can’t say i’m wild about it either, but if jack goes, i’d feel a lot better about that than the alternatives.”

he sighs, kisses her, and tells jack that would be alright. “i’ll go down the hall and tell them.”

“have some sucking up to do, old man?”

aaron just rolls his eyes and hangs up before walking down the hall. he knocks on the door, and two flat “what”s come from the other side of the door. he opens it, and finds caroline and sophia facing each other from their beds on either side of the room. he could tell they were talking shit, the set of their mouths giving them away. 

they’re looking at him like he’s goddamn war criminal. he pulls caro’s desk chair and sits backward on it in between the ends of their beds. “your brother has very graciously offered to take friday off of work to take you and your friends to the concert and spend the night in norfolk with you.” 

“so, you’re letting us go?” 

he tries not to let the biting resentment in sophia’s tone get to him. “i am. i’m sorry for coming down hard on you at dinner. it was wrong of me, and i understand that it could feel like i don’t trust your judgement. i do.” he looks at them each in turn. “it just freaks me out a little that you’re getting older a lot faster than i thought you would.” 

caro’s lip wobbles, and she throws her covers back and crosses to him, giving him a hug. “thank you. we’ll be good, i promise.” 

“i know, my little love.” 

it takes him a little while to get back into sophia’s good graces, but when he picks them up from jack’s apartment at the end of the weekend, she can’t stop talking about how much fun she had. he’s pretty sure he’s forgiven. 

3. 

its when he first starts dating mom that jack starts to act out. he’s usually a really well-tempered kid, but sometimes he’d snap at her or withdraw and it made her feel awful. there were definitely a couple of nights were he’d snap at her over something small and she would retreat to the back bedroom to take a minute. it wore on aaron to tell her that she wasn’t an imposition, that she wasn’t replacing haley, that she isn’t his second choice or ‘the backup’

they both have this moment of total defeat - they’ve known each other for so long, and jack has known her most of his life, but the change in relationship status really brought up a lot of stuff for the kiddo. 

mom comes around faster, learning to understand that jack is just adjusting and having trouble with the idea that there’s a semi-permanent female figure in his life, and that his dad’s attention is divided. thus, when aaron inevitably breaks down about it, she’s there. 

“i feel selfish. maybe i shouldn’t have -”

“aaron. we are doing everything we can to make this an easy adjustment for him, but it’s difficult.”

“but nothing’s changed! you’ve been here for five years.” 

“love, everything’s changed, and we’ve only been dating for a couple of months. that’s a lot for someone who’s barely seven. you’re not selfish, you’re not a bad parent. you haven’t made a bad judgement call. he’s just really young and is having trouble handling these very big changes in his home landscape.” 

so aaron finds a therapist for jack to see twice a week, figuring it was a good idea anyway with all the trauma he may or may not remember. it’s still sucky for a while, but as jack starts implementing the coping mechanisms he learns and mom takes on a role closer to a peer or friend than a parent, things get a lot easier. 

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @emmice9 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @songbird400 @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @a-dorky-book-keeper @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst  @lcvischmitt 

[sparkly-angell]

20 first lines ficmeme

rules: list the first lines of your last 20 works (if u have less than 20 just list em all). see if there are any patterns, choose your fav, and tag other authors

@herogrant again and @onyxmoonstone, thank you loves, i love doing these so much!! <3

Aaaaand im tagging my bebes again: @swisstae and @full-fledged-cumberbitch my writing buddies <3

so Shit's below the cut!!

1. A bang went off. from Surrender my body to the flames

2. The flames from the floating candles were glistening against every lustrous object in the room. from Entropy

3. Eddie Diaz wasn’t nervous. from Gotta give into the feeling

4. “Seriously, Buck, you’re nervous now?” from I'm dedicating everyday to you

5. James Kirk could barely hold back the excitement from his steps as he left from his first day at the Starfleet Academy. from (Don't) Take It Slow

6. The park was bustling with life when James Barnes exited his carriage in the middle of one of London’s finest streets. from A Pirate's Tale

7. What was wrong with him? from The silent meaning of your secret touches

8. Tony should have known something incredibly wrong was about to go down the moment Clint called him for backup. from True Love's Cure

9. “... As one of my classmates keeps reminding me, I’m king of nothing. [...]" from I'm My Own Hero

10. Tony Stark should have listened more to his father. from Twice As Many Stars

11. Andrew sighed, enjoying the softness of his pillow before becoming fully awake. from The Future That We Will Plan

12. The Master puffed out his lungs. from The Silurians Are To Blame

13. “Hey, mm, Stevie. Hey-- just, mmm” Bucky stopped Steve’s horny ass from kissing him again while he was trying to have a conversation by covering Steve’s mouth with his hand. from Love Run

14. Frankly, Illya should have seen it coming. from Happy Birthday, My Favorite Russian Lover

15. The Forest is a dangerous place to be on your own, particularly during a full moon night, and especially in human form. from From Eden

16. The concert had been going great, in Geralt’s opinion. from Five Times Geralt Saved Jaskier From His Thirsty Fans And One He Didn't

17. Steve could do this, he knew he could. from Who I Was Meant To Be

18. Wales Millennium Centre had a different aspect at night. from No Grave Can Hold My Body Down

19. Jaskier closes his eyes, humming softly as he shifts deeper between Geralt’s arms until his nose came in contact with his neck. from Lazy Autumn Afternoon

20. “No way.” from There's No Plan

First thing I noticed while doing this is that I use Hozier titles a lot ahHAAHHAHAHA

Also that I tend to start in two ways: usually with some action or with the character secondguessing hiw life choices.

This was real fun to do tbh, I enjoyed seeing where I came from and where im gonig as a writer, it was really cool.