#tw;grooming mention

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Excited for tonight's episode?

I'm sort of excited, sort of not.

I'm interested in Dr. Cristie's (I am really going to try to find ways to avoid calling him Max, because having Max Walker and Max McGerry is already confusing enough 😂) arrival, especially his history with Dylan (I probably wouldn't be interested if he didn't have history with Dylan lol). I'm interested in Stevie's stuff, as always.

I'm not interested in Robyn and Paul. They still bore me. And I am really not interested in the storyline where Faith thinks her patient might be being groomed by a football coach. I really hope it's one of those situations where Faith has majorly gotten the wrong end of the stick and ends up looking ridiculous - like when she accused that one patient's husband of rape ages ago when it was actually all completely consensual - and that the coach is just innocently mentoring the girl, because I really, really don't want yet another "look at Faith going up against the big meanie male abusers, what a hero she is!" storyline ignoring the fact that Faith is an abuser herself and literally tried to rape her husband. We've had more than enough of those storylines. I'm in full support of raising awareness for female victims of male abusers, of course, but if Casualty want to do that, they should have other staff members be involved, not Faith.

[charlie-artlie]

this is so stupid i’m sorry

[a-heart-of-kyber]

*slaps table*

Listen!

There is something super sweet and healing and hopeful about Gale, "I was groomed and still don't realize it and had 'sex' with the Goddess of Magic via mental/spiritual/astral projection regularly. Also, I'm kind of addicted to magic." Deciding to approach you first to flirt with "You being all sweaty after battle is so fucking hot."

Because it's Real. It's physical. Yeah, it's horny, but it's the realization that the mortal realm can be equal to the godly one, if not superior, despite it being different. Like, he's not Losing something by not being with a God and he can heal.

[ghxst-system]

"The future is plural" movement from endos is CONCERNING

regardless of the fact they do not believe you require trauma to be a system (medically impossible) this proves they want to groom kids into identifying as endo and spread their medical misinformation further.

as well as causing real systems to believe they dont have it bad enough to be "traumagenic" (the only "genic you can be. this language is bullshit im just using these terms to explain their shit), preventing them from getting real help. they are WIDELY anti-recovery.

their misinformation has ALREADY endangered real systems medically as they have made professionals skeptical of a medically proven disorder, a disorder that is already very stigmatised.

outside of just endogenic misinformation, this statement leads to the idea that they want to traumatise kids to make more systems.

ENDOS ARE FUCKING DANGEROUS

[proshrimp]

"Look at this anti who hates proshippers cuz one groomed them!!! What an idiot, its their fault"

I'm revoking your proship title, I don't care if you have every single proship belief needed to qualify as proship, you should not represent proshippers even slightly, even on a microscropic level, I'm revoking your proship title you lil victim blaimin shitface.

(I have no DNI other then that if I fit your DNI, don't interact with me.)

[profic-ient]

"You're reliving your trauma by shipping this!" Idk dude, i think two hot anime guys are not at all similar to my ugly decaying groomer 🤷

[to-coyly-go]

Animator SAD-ist, best known for her DSMP animations such as Hog Hunt, and their admin JayGrahamsNS, have been involved in exposing minors to NSFW content for over 3 years. This was brought to people's attention by former admin zennip.ede, who was directly affected, and admin Skye.

Edit 30 Nov 2024: SAD-ist and JayGrahamNS have also made a response.

Zen's Google Doc:

Zen's tweet:

Google Drive containing all screenshots from the Google Doc:

Moderator Checkers has also decided to come forward with their story.

Checkers' Google Doc:

Checkers' tweet:

[lichenbug]

they drink together often

[lonelier-version-of-you]

It happened with Ruby! The fandom was realllyyyyy odd about her being young and stuff so she couldn’t be in a relationship - but all her male colleagues were shipped. I can’t remember if anyone said it was because she was autistic but I definitely got the vibe at the time that people were acting like she wasn’t mentally mature enough to have romantic or sexual relationships even though she was. A whole paramedic.

Yeah, I had Ruby in mind when I wrote that bit. I suppose I was thinking that the sort of infantilisation she got was a bit different to the kind Henrik gets, but it's definitely a similar sort of thing. (With Henrik it's more about painting him as ever-logical and Morally Pure, and on any occasion he acts in any other way, someone else gets the blame for it - the victim-blaming of Sahira and belief she was somehow driving Henrik to treat her the way he did, the idea he was somehow manipulated or fooled into going along with John's actions, etc. The "He can't have relationships, he's too innocent and pure, he's being groomed into it, he can't know what he's doing!" mentality, which more closely echoes how Ruby was treated, only really comes up when talking about his relationships with men - whether John or Russ. No one reacted like that when he had his will-they-won't-they with Carole, for example.)

(And lol "even though she was. A whole paramedic." Literally!!)

[feelingemotjons]

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS RICH ASSHOLES

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS LOUD AND "ANNOYING"

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS GROOMERS/PEDOPHILES

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS STALKERS/CREEPS

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS "DISGUSTING" AND "UNLOVEABLE"

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS "ANNOYING" THIRDWHEELS

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS BIGOTS

STOP DEPICTING FAT PEOPLE AS SELFISH AND RUDE

STOP DEPICTING CONFIDENT FAT PEOPLE AS "PICK MES" OR "WEIRDOS"

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP MAKING YOUR FAT CHARACTERS LOSE WEIGHT FOR THEM TO HAVE A "HAPPY ENDING"

[begaydocrimebutnotlikethat]

antis and ex-rqs: the radqueer community is a toxic cult!! they're disgusting and gr00m people into being pa3doph1les!!

most rqs: i saw a silly bug today it reminded me of my favorite character

[shentheauthor]

PSA for kids on the internet:

I know a lot of y’all look at nsfw content. It’s not good to be in those spaces (because you’re intruding on adult spaces made for adults, by adults, and it’s uncomfortable), but that’s just how kids are sometimes (source: I did that as a kid). It’s inevitable.

The thing is, you should NOT be talking to adults about it. If you break the clear 18+ boundaries people set, that’s YOUR business, and you should NEVER be comfortable discussing sexual topics with adults. I’m being so serious.

It’s never, ever your fault if you’re groomed. The thing is, gross adults will take advantage of you if you make it clear that you are a minor exploring nsfw topics. They see that, and they think you’re an easy target.

As for adults who are uncomfortable with kids seeing their nsfw work, the best we can do is block ageless accounts and minors who announce that they are minors. That’s not enough. You need to keep yourself safe as much as we need to keep you safe.

I care about this stuff a lot. I narrowly dodged a lot of horrible experiences, and it still took me years to deconstruct the harmful things I started internalizing because I was unrestricted on the internet. I got lucky. I can’t say the same for a lot of other people.

Statistically, you will not get lucky if you are a child on the internet. Stay safe.

Also, grooming isn’t strictly for pedophiles. Grooming is when people foster an environment where a vulnerable party (ie children) gets comfortable with an inappropriate relationship. The exploitation doesn’t have to be sexual. It can be an ego thing, or for money, or any number of things. It’s hard to accept that the person you care about is a groomer, and it’s even harder when people fundamentally misunderstand the definition of grooming.

A child can groom another child. An adult can groom another adult. It’s about exploitation, not necessarily age.

Stay safe out there, guys. They don’t teach internet safety like they used to.

[tetric-electric]

tbh I think that the way Ashley Graves is so mischaracterized by the fandom says a lot about how people view grooming (or any type of manipulation) survivors (and autistic people). Let me explain:

Obviously, huge spoilers for Chapters 1 and 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. This is just a psychoanalysis of Ashley, however to do so involves a LOT of lore.

To start off, I'm just gonna put a trigger warning right here for LOTS of talk about psychological manipulation, as well as neglect and ableism. If you feel uncomfortable reading about these subjects you are more than welcome to click off. Please stay safe.

What made me decide to do this rant:

A few months ago, I got a text from someone who was upset about me having Ashley as my PFP. I was initially like "okay, they don't like TCOAAL, so what", and then immediately after I got a text from them responding to an Instagram story I had basically saying that Ashley was "so me fr fr".

"Let me guess, you also kin Valentino"

Valentino, from Hazbin Hotel, as in the blatant physically + verbally + sexually abusive piece of shit who is in no way redeemable.

I had brushed this off as "maybe they just don't like Ashley", until they listed why.

...all of the reasons they gave fell under the main categories of "she's clingy, she's flirtatious with Andrew, and her sprites are made for the male gaze."

The male gaze thing was because she didn't appear to be wearing a bra. Which like... sexualizing much? For fuck's sake, she's locked in an apartment about to die, do you think wearing a bra would be a priority?

Secondly, her behaviour.

Admittedly, she's not a great person. But that's because she never learnt how to be.

In-game there is so so so SO much emphasis on how she acts childish, and how literally no one gives two shits about her. It doesn't take a professional psychologist to figure out that she never was able to develop properly. That's why she's so clingy, because Andrew is the one person who at least pretends to care about her. And then there's her flirtatiousness.

It's revealed in several flashbacks that the only way she could ever get Andrew's attention is to do something fucked up, as seen by her as a child killing Nina. Andrew then gives her attention for this, which establishes the connection that homicide -> attention, and attention = care and love and affection.

Due to the fact that she never had any friends, she never was able to have any type of love (whether that be platonic, romantic, etc.) reciprocated. Except for Andrew.

Andrew, throughout the game, proceeds to subtly encourage Ashley's flirtatiousness. She has no reference of this type of stuff not being okay, and thus her social isolation made her the perfect target.

Social isolation, gaslighting, coercion, threatening to hurt the person if they don't do the desired behaviour. You know what those are?

Textbook signs of manipulation.

I realized that people hate Ashley so much because since she's not aware of her situation being bad, she's unable to come to that realization. She's not perfect, let alone a 'good victim'. She only sexualizes herself because that's how she learned she can get affection and care.

So... where does the whole "Ashley is autistic" theory come from, then?

As stated by Renee Graves, Ashley was "a lot of work" as compared to Andrew (guess what, kids take work). Now, this alone wouldn't be any indicator. However...

It's shown that she was unable to make friends because she was "weird" and clearly didn't have an understanding of social cues and rules (which honestly hit close to home for me). It's also shown that she problem-solves differently (or at least differently than Andrew, who is seen as the "logical sane one") and also seems to be more of a hands-on learner (I forget if there's any actual proof of this, however upon analysis she is an ESFP, and ESFPs tend to be more hands-on (yes I'm aware that MBTI types are the psychology equivalent of horoscopes, but there is some truth to them)).

Not to mention how she's shown to have extreme emotions, and tends to have meltdowns (I apologize if this isn't the right word, I'm not sure what the term would be). The extreme emotions part can be part of how blatantly of a pwBPD she is, but BPD also tends to have a higher frequency of showing up in autistic people, especially autistic women.

In conclusion, people hate Ashley Graves because of how well-integrated ableism is in society, as well as the concept of a 'perfect victim'.

**Revision (30/12/2024): While I don't think Andrew is a full-on groomer, I do think that he was manipulative towards Ashley. I changed the wording to be more clear of that. Sorry for the confusion, everyone!

[ciderjacks]

The SA metaphors in dunmeshi make me sick because when I think about them for so long it's like... man maybe I relate to Marcille more than I thought, she counts as SA rep to me.

Because during the dungeon lord meeting, seeing all those people talk about how they loved the demon after everything it did, and having Marcille being like "man and all I lost was my desire to braid my hair..." Like Honey, Darling, you shouldn't have lost anything at all. I relate to that mindset so heavily, because I was like that at one point. Sorry if this is a bit much I just wanted to give my two cents

OUGH YEAH. Like especially with how the demon grooming her wasn’t even really allegorical it was just straight up doing that, and it was doing that with the eventual goal of eating her alive… (which is shown to be very much an allegory for SA)

[pastelalleycat]

If allegations of sexual assault come out against somebody:

I don't care if the person seems nice. I don't care if you have a personal bond with them. I don't care if it's something you never thought they'd ever do.

These kinds of allegations always, always, always have to be taken seriously and with the utmost regard for the alleged victim's safety. It's possible that the supposed assaulter may have been falsely accused, but sadly, most of the time, reports of SA are true.

I need you to promise me that you will believe victims when they tell you they've been abused. I need you to use your critical thinking and realize that human beings are capable of causing as much harm as they are of causing good. Please don't turn a blind eye to victims.

[ikamigami]

I am not a groomer

This post is in response to the terrible accusations @Alexandraisyes has made against me. Any criticism or evidence you see, that can be used to support or agree to Alex, anyone can freely say below or send me an ask, I am willing to answer and refute anything provided.

These are the three main points I want to discuss and cover in my post:

1. Evidence against Alex's accusations that I am a groomer.

2. Explaining why I am still friends with Mothy, the one everyone is calling a child groomer.

3. An announcement that I will do everything I can to take this matter to court if I am not given a satisfactory explanation and apology. The bottom line is that I demand removal of my name and any mentions of me in the doc made by Alex. Pedophilia is the worst and most terrible crime one can commit to another human being. I’ve been carelessly and thoughtlessly accused of this crime with no proof. Someone actually has the audacity to accuse me of harming another in such a disgusting way despite me being, very close, friends with people who have been sexually abused.

Here's a link to the document:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1geLNDVU5YU3PZtpbG5ZfYLHoTkMTx0ab_sh3Lqgh0P4/edit?usp=drivesdk

I got permission from Mothy to post information about them and screenshots from them. I also got permission from the other friend mentioned here but I'm not sharing their name by their request. Rest of the informations and screenshots are public.