#tw; traumatic memory

[uyunto]

childhood

[bpdmaxxer]

“But he was just a child”

So was I

And I’m suffering and he’s not

[alice-the-demon]

(CW: panic attack, self-hate thoughts)

"Your fault."

[a-a-a-anon]

absolutely fascinated by young dee who is criminally under-discussed so here is my dissertation on what happened in her college years (ft. dr. gainer, setting her roommate on fire, being institutionalized)/my idea for a fic that I will almost certainly never write/my way too serious take on a few throwaway dee lore lines

timeline background: we know that dee majored in psychology ('charlie got molested') and got "three fourths" of the way in (meanwhile dennis finished his psych minor.) assuming this was a four year program, I'm gonna guess that in her third year she got institutionalized and most likely had to drop out ('gun fever too: still hot'.) we also know that she had her back brace until she was twenty ('underage drinking'), so I'm guessing that means she got her back brace off in her third year.

we know that dennis fancied himself a psychologist since he was young, but I think dee did too. in particular I think she was wary and interested in her brother's psychology; she seems very aware of his psychopathy and bpd in 'making dennis reynolds a murderer' and 'psycho pete returns.' in my head she's been interested in dennis' psychology since they were kids and she saw him snapping crows necks. so instead of forcing her way into acting school, she studied psychology to better understand her brother (and also deep down, herself, who is very much the other side of the same fucked up coin.) it also meant she could tell herself she could study her characters even better when she became an actress.

i think she put in (her version of) genuine academic effort to get in, fuelled kind of by spite (remember the way she studied that thick medical book in 'hero or hate crime' or her very quick math in 'boggs: ladies reboot'). she studies books and gets cricket to quiz her and she still fails to get into penn. but frank always pitied her (i think she was his favorite of the twins-remember "let your sister into the gang", "that's my girl!", "i'm sorry the grift didn't work out, sweetie") so he shells out cash to get her in, but also to get her away from home so he has to deal with her even less.

dennis wants to do anything dee does but better and he wants to keep her close by (to watch her crash and burn, and also because he's weirdly possessive-see 'the gang broke dee' "i'm your select!"). and obviously he's barbara's favorite. so barbara gives him money to get in too. she also gets him into a frat and pays for his classes and his rent and everything he needs. dee has to live in a dumpy dorm with a female roommate.

but college presents dee a chance to moult her previous place in life where she was known as a monster (remember how insistent she was that "people can change!" in 'franks pretty woman'. I think dees always wanted to believe she can shed that feeling she's inferior, but she never has). in my head her female roommate is basically normal-has real friends of her own, mentally stable, attractive-which is exactly what dee craves. dee wants to be popular and well liked and she wants to infiltrate her roommates life, imitate her, be in the Cool group. and she places all her hopes on a friendship with the roommate but dee has never navigated real female friendships before, not with someone like her. deep down she also wishes she found what dennis found in mac, whatever it was, because ever since dennis met mac he's never been as close to her. and i do think dee is some flavor of queer. and the roommate is well liked in the way that dee admires and envies. so there is that blurriness between wanting to be her and wanting to be with her. in my head her roommate looks like the woman from dee's fantasy in 'the gang saves the day' (and they both represent that promise of escape from dee's shitty life).

dee is so desperate for the roommates approval and her love and her life that she goes insane, copying and flattering and competing with her. ever the shitty actress, she tries to emulate her, but comes off as manic and creepy. and maybe her roommate is nice enough to not completely shun her, recognizing that she's struggling. maybe in dees mind they actually are becoming friends when her roommate asks things like "are you okay?"

and dee has to talk about her plan with dennis because he's the only person who would Get It. and she makes it sound like it's almost working. dennis feels jealous and worried and threatened that maybe dee might actually be seen as normal, especially when she gets her back brace off in the third year. so dennis fucks her roommate, more of a show that he owns and controls each and every pathetic part of dee’s life than anything else. and so that dee knows she'll never be as good as him, she'll never as easily charm people as dennis does. (or at least he tells her he does).

to prove that To Someone dee is Good Enough, and so desperate for attention, dee (who's been groomed all this time) enters a sexual relationship with her professor dr. gainer. she tells herself she has the power in it, that she seduced him ("he didn't molest me. i had sex with him 'cause i wanted to.") and she has a mental break, because the thing she told herself held her back from being loved (her back brace) is finally gone by now and yet she still feels like a monster, and the only scrap of "love" she can get is from her professor.

and then she can't take the fact that she can steal her roommates clothes, can emulate her sexual prowess (in dee's own fucked up, delusional way), and still neither be well liked like her nor be loved by her. so maybe dee will always be a monster. so dee tried to burn her roommate in her bed, because she represented the promise of change and popularity, and that promise was a lie and dee's effort was for nothing. and she's institutionalized.

and i think there was kind of a falling out between the twins and their parents, because barbara wants to abandon dee but dennis can't help but visit her. and frank doesn't even step foot in a place that reminds him of his traumatic childhood, and avoids dee even more than he used to because she is his childhood mirror image. so the family becomes even more fractured and estranged.

and maybe dee becomes medicated and slowly crawls her way halfway to normal by the first season (her acting classes are so well-adjusted, taking part in healthy hobbies of her!). until her father comes back into her life and everything falls apart <3

side note, even though dee is crushingly lonely-"I just got a cat 'cause I wanted something to hang out with. I don't have, you know, a roommate or anything, and I don't really have anyone to talk to..."-AND she struggles to pay rent whenever frank cuts her off, i hc that she refused to ever get a roommate in particular female roommate again after this because both her internalized misogyny got worse and she was afraid of what would happen (what she would do) again.

[0vergrowngraveyard]

Mayhaps u can help a newcomer like me and explain your villain au? With a little summary? 🥹

one info dump coming right up! (below the cut because i accidentally made it really long)

starting with everyone’s favorite blue hedgehog: sonic was taken in by dr robotnik when he was around seven and stayed with him for several years. now, eggman was not a good father figure at all (i’m not really a fan of wholesome eggdad stories lmao). he only took sonic in because of his super speed and the energy he generated with it. little sonic was none the wiser that eggman was just using him to power his machines and run tests to study his power. he was honestly just having a blast running on treadmills and hanging out with the guy who gave him a place to stay.

however, when sonic was ten, disaster struck.

when sonic was powering up a larger bot, he accidentally overloaded it and the thing exploded. he lost both of his legs and his right arm, all of which received robotic replacements. he lost his natural super speed, but the legs eggman made him were capable of letting him reach those speeds, they just had to be charged (he doesn’t run with them. it’s more like a shadow situation where he skates/kinda hovers? idk how to describe it).

after the accident, sonic was no longer powering the weapons, he became the weapon. eggman would put him through rigorous training and different kinds of tests to try and make the kid unstoppable. it was when this all started that sonic began to realize why eggman kept him around. it wasn’t because the doctor actually gave a shit about it, it was because sonic was useful.

sonic started acting out, making robotnik’s life as much as a living hell as he possibly could. he’d fight him, hide from him, break things, he wouldn’t corporate. he’d rebel in anyway way he could think of, even going as far as refusing to eat.

eventually, he started getting gaps in his memory. one second he’d be hiding in his room and the next he was in the testing chamber with eggman talking about how much he’s improved. the gaps became more and more frequent and it became to drive him crazy.

when sonic turned thirteen, he ran away. he ran as far as his half powered legs would take him; and when they ran out of juice, he just kept jogging and walking as far as he could. he knew that the doctor probably installed a tracker on him, but he didn’t care. he just wanted out, he wanted his freedom.

his aimlessly wandering led him to a richer looking neighborhood near a city. and it was there that he met a certain fox kit.

———

miles wasn’t abandoned by his parents when he was a baby. the prowers were a somewhat wealthy family. they mostly kept the kit around to gain sympathy from their friends and the media, playing the part of the kind parents who loved their youngest son despite his deformities and disabilities. miles was paraded around at parties and social events to garner sympathy, then ignored and neglected when the camera weren’t around.

he had two older brothers. a pair of twins who bullied him relentlessly. miles’s parents would turn a blind eye to the cruelty he suffered at the hands of them. they’d pull his fur, threaten to cut off his extra tail, lock him in closets for hours, etc.

because if everything around him, something was brewing inside of miles, but his biological family wouldn’t be the ones who suffered from it.

one day, miles had been kicked out of the house for several hours after accidentally breaking a plate. the six year old sat on the doorstep, heavy raining pelting him as he waited for his parents to let him back inside, if they even remembered to.

suddenly, someone was in front of him, asking if he was okay. looking up, a blue hedgehog with robotic limbs was staring down at him.

———

anyway there are the backstories! they make me so sad!

little facts about them

- sonic did just kidnap tails the night they met. king of impulsive decisions right here

- the brothers started commiting crimes in desperation for money and food, but they ended up having a lot of fun with it so they just decided to become criminals

- tails painted sonic’s limbs blue (they were red before) when sonic was upset one day to cheer him up (it worked)

- those gaps in memory sonic used to get with robotnik make a come back with tails (hmm i wonder what that’s about…)

- tails eventually becomes eggman 2.0 in terms of how he treats sonic (the only difference being that tails does care for and love sonic, he’s just the actual worst at showing it)

- sonic doesn’t know that tails is manipulating him the same way eggman did. tails can do nothing wrong in his eyes

- their bond actually started out as sonic being kinda mean to tails. the hedgehog deals with rapid mood swings and he’d snap over the smallest things. eventually, tails started taking advantage of his unstable behavior. they both suck

- sonic fully believes he’s the leader of their operations. he is not but tails plays along with it

- tails is terrified of sonic leaving him behind so he makes it so the hedgehog is dependent on him (he also does it because it gives him control). the kit is the only one other than eggman who knows how to power his limbs. if he doesn’t want to go back to the doctor, he better stick with tails

aaaaand i think that pretty much everything. at least the main points. i hate them both so much my stupid ass sons

[justdoingmythingasalways]

So here's something:

Turns out it was DID and CPTSD all along.

...doesn't make it better but now everything makes sense. More below the cut, if you care.

Anxiety and depression alone made no sense with my memory issues, with the acute episode of psychosis I know I entered at some point during the height of my issues and stress after what I know now was a lot of workplace trauma.

It was always suspect when I was diagnosed with bipolar because it never seemed to fit.

But now I have answers and with them, a can of worms and horrifying realizations about my childhood.

It was only ever trauma, it was only ever DID and CPTSD, and my parents, in fact, are pieces of shit who added emotional neglect among other things to a trauma pile that I know now started with CSA from an older male cousin of mine.

And I don't know how to reconcile that with the fact that despite what's happened, despite their shortcomings I still love and care about my parents. I love them and care about them, and it will kill me if I let it.

No wonder I never felt loveable. No wonder I always had issues around sex—either hypersexual or avoidant. No wonder my memory was always full of holes, no wonder none of the treatments ever worked.

I feel found, but simultaneously extremely lost. I have a feeling that's just the experience though.

Anyways, go stream the Post-Traumatic Manifesto by weevildoing, it helps me most days to remember to be kind to my system and be patient with all of us as we try to heal from everything that's happened, remembered or not.

[duchessbian]

feeling emotional bc my friends have done so much to help me heal in the past year and they have no idea

[lunar-years]

.

[fandomsoda]

I have seen hundreds of cycles of suffering and demise, I have been destroyed so many times my nerves are fried to smithereens and no self-proclaimed god can do pain unto me as He once did, not even Himself.

within the mindspace I am forever covered in my own crystalline blood, that fact shall never change. My nicknamesakes left in taters, my limb forever lost, my eyes forever blurry, the only hope I have for a better form is to adjust my current one to amount to some concept of beauty.

The body has fallen horridly ill as we cough up our everything and our voice withers, body trembling in cold and weakness and pain

our primary communication system with all our loved ones has been severed beyond repair and has been so for far longer than any other event.

I stand here and writhe in exhausted agony as our companions call upon us to strain ourselves to speak with them, when it already feels as if we are on our last legs.

I am filled with a weak rage and weariness that none of my kind have ever before known. /❤️‍🩹

[bpdmaxxer]

I hate getting flashbacks so much I don’t wanna remember. I wanna repress my brain repressed stuff for a reason why am I remembering it I wanna forget

I wanna forget so bad.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

how might finn be doing on this fine evening?

CW: Unreliable narrator, memory issues as a result of trauma, emotional manipulation, gaslighting (or is it?) referenced captivity (or implied captivity of a different kind, depending on how you read it)...

Death Valley

-

North Carolina, Present Day

Wind blew with a knife edge around the rest area, and Finn hunched his shoulders against its bite as he sat, watching Little Mother stalking with single minded precision across the grass. What she was hunting, he had no idea, but she was intent on its capture.

"Take care, Mütterchen," He called out. "Do not go too far."

One of her rabbit-soft ears flicked, the only sign she heard him. Her tail shifted sinuous through the grass, back and forth, back and forth, as she moved with her belly nearly to the ground. Her kittens gamboled around beside him, staying where Finn's body and the bulk of his truck hid them from the worst of the cold. Little Mother trusted him to keep them safe for her while she wandered, and Finn did his best to be worthy of that trust. He dragged a little string along the ground, coaxing the kittens into stalking it, batting at it with paws that had more enthusiasm than aim.

Overhead, heavy gray clouds threatened to finally unleash the sleet the radio had been promising was coming. They hung so low the wisps of them seemed to hover just above the ancient rounded mountains that stretched all around him. If he stood, he could reach up and nearly touch them, feel wisps of damp chill around his fingertips. The rest stop was perched on the top of a mountain itself, the highest point in the state supposedly. There'd been a plaque over by the building.

Finn remembered, in a vague and foggy way, that he had hiked up younger mountains once, with jagged peaks that seemed sharp enough to slice apart the stars at night. He'd gone with friends of his, and a girl he sometimes fooled around with.

Then he'd left for his American holiday, just after, promising he'd show her photos when he got back.

He never came back.

His mother had gotten the film from his little disposable cameras, developed the photos. He'd seen his own smiling face in a photo another tourist had taken of him standing, framed by the Badwater Basin salt flats. Schneider's last photo on the camera found in the wreckage of his vehicle.

Even if he hadn't made it back home to show her, he supposed Anja would have seen all the photos that were released to the public by now. Had she married? Had Anja found herself a husband, had children, built herself the normal life she'd dreamed of? Had she forgotten all about some silly, enthusiastic boy in her class who had once kissed her breathless in a tent with their noses both frozen from the outside chill?

He put his fingers to his lips, but he couldn't remember how kissing her had felt, not anymore. Robert had painted over it all with this slime-slick touch, the smell of decay and lemon-scented cleaner fighting for dominance.

Any passing attraction Finn felt for anyone anymore was only a brief flash of something warm before the memory of Robert froze over him, shattered him all over again.

Children giggled somewhere nearby, a family ushering distracted little ones with too much energy for their tiny size into the building. Would those children know who to run from, if they needed to? Would they know not to trust the friendly smile of a stranger, not to take their own water bottle if he had touched it?

Would they-

"You didn't tell me you got a cat," Noah said from off to the side, and Finn dropped his hand, muscles tensing. He stopped pulling the string, and the kittens set up a chorus of meows, angry that their game had come to such a sudden end. One of them hissed in Noah's direction, tiny fangs bared. "Or...multiple cats."

"Mütterchen," Finn answered, gruffly, gesturing to where Little Mother had gone a few feet away. "She came to stay with me and had the kittens." He didn't look up, even as his heart began to beat faster, heavy inside his chest. "It is nice to have company, driving."

"No doubt." Noah, without asking, dropped to sit right next to him, nearly brushing Finn's left arm with his right. Finn tensed, shifting just enough to put a little space between them again. "Mütterchen, that's cute. What's it mean? Mother-... mother-hen?"

"Little Mother." Finn hated that Noah knew it now, that it felt like simply explaining it to him ruined the fragile love he had for her name. "Why are you here?"

"You turned your phone back on." Noah was looking at him - Finn could feel the weight of his eyes, even though he refused to give him anything in return. His voice was low, outwardly worried. "I told you to stay here, and I came to you. Do you... not remember that conversation?"

Sometimes Finn forgot things. Whole days, entire conversations, events... his memory came and went as it pleased, and only his time with Robert remained clearly etched into his mind, as much as the scars were carved eternally into his skin. Noah sounded concerned for him, but... Finn bristled, anyway. Something felt false in the tone, like he was acting.

Of course he was acting.

He was just upset the Mouse had been hiding in the walls, on the road, where he couldn't find him.

Finn cleared his throat. "No, this I know. I know we spoke, Noah, I did not forget, but. Why did you want to meet me?"

"Why? Finn-" Noah groaned, exasperated. "Come on. You up and vanished, man. Why was your phone off for a week, huh? Your phone, laptop... everything. The GPS in your truck, even. You could have been hurt, or dead, or in a cage somewhere again-"

Finn had to swallow the rising spike of panic at the idea. He could have been, couldn't he? And no one would know, once again no one would know. Just like before.

Noah leaned forward, his voice soft and sweet and sad. "What happened to you? What have you been doing?"

Finn had spent days bundled in the tent, watching the kittens and feeling warm down to his bones even with the icy chill outside. Inside the tent, they kept warm, he, Little Mother, and her kittens. He cooked ready-to-eat meals on a campfire in a pot that he washed using water from a stream. He'd felt entirely, perfectly alone. It had been wonderful.

Had Noah been worried that he was dead?

Guilt gnawed, even as half of him was sure it hadn't been worry but anger that Finn wasn't under his thumb, if he couldn't reach him and follow him and track him and-

And keep him-

"I wanted some time to myself," He muttered, hardly able to get the volume up to be heard. "That is all."

"Right." Noah sighed. "Yeah, no, take whatever time off you want, you know you're helping me out with transporting the, uh, the cargo to be sure, but... Finn." Noah paused. Finally, Finn cut a glance to the side, barely meeting those falsely warm, kind, soft eyes and that slight smile with his own solid closed-off nothingness. "Finn, look at me."

When his gaze didn't stick, Noah reached out and took him by the chin with his gloved hands, forcing him to make eye contact. Finn's muscles locked in a sudden burst of fear but he didn't move. He didn't dare move.

He always froze, for Robert.

"You can't turn that shit off," Noah said, voice low and soft. Poison underneath the velvet, Finn knew all about it. Fury under the false worry. Robert could speak so sweet and kind like that, and then beat him until he broke a rib and feel nothing. "I get worried when I don't know where you've gone off to. You get lost, Finn, and you and I both know it. You get lost in your head, you forget where you are or what you've been doing. You forget how to call for help. You forget everything."

Finn found himself trembling, fighting to stay still. The kittens pushed against his fingers and he pet them with numb hands, a little too roughly, staring at Noah because the other man hadn't yet let go and he didn't dare pull away. "I, I don't-... so much anymore-"

"You do." Noah's voice dipped, became firmer. "You still do. Don't lie to me." He let go, patting Finn's face briefly, and then looked down at one little kitten who had pushed against his leg, letting his fingers dangle so the little one could bat at them. "Remember when the, uh-" He glanced sidelong to see if anyone was paying attention to them, but no one was. "Remember when the runaways had to call me because you forgot how to use a phone? Just sat in the truck's cab talking to yourself for hours? When you kept trying to dial German phone numbers?"

Finn kept his eyes on the ground, feeling a blush heat his face even as he hunched his shoulders to hide it. "... I remember that they took the phone away and called you."

"And you spent months in the little house I rented for you barely able to even remember to brush your own teeth-"

"That was many years ago, Noah, when I first was sold to you-"

"Ssshhh! Even aside from that, what about just a few months ago, when you kept watching crime docs on Netflix and had nightmares for weeks on end and stopped answering to anything but Mouse?"

Finn stiffened, and his hands went up to hold his head as he dropped it, fingers digging into his short hair, eyes closed against heat he refused to acknowledge was tears. His head began to ache, a low pounding throb behind his temples. "Stop," He whispered, but Noah wasn't done.

Noah never stopped.

No one ever stopped because Finn asked them to, or begged, or pleaded...

"If you don't want to work, then stop working," Noah continued, putting a hand up to rub at Noah's back, circling and circling his palm, sending shudders of discomfort down Finn's spine. "Do whatever you want. I don't care, it's fine, you can even keep using the truck. But I'm not drowning in money, and I can't keep giving you cash if you're not doing your job, if you just stop contacting me and I can't even see where you are. I'm not rich, Finn. This isn't a lucrative business, saving people. You're a huge help to me, and I'm grateful for that. But... you can't keep making me worry about you and then acting like I don't have the right, after everything I've done for you. It's cruel, don't you think? You're like a brother to me, and when you just go off the grid for a week, I get so worried, and I don't deserve that. Not after the years I've taken care of you."

Finn watched Little Mother pounce, but she must not have caught her prey. Her tail twitched in dismayed annoyance, and she turned to look at him. He watched her eyes go to Noah. Back to him. Finn swallowed, barely daring to breathe, to move, not even daring to speak. His heart hammered inside of him, sweat stuck his sweater to his back beneath his coat.

"I don't have any identification that's real here," Finn muttered, voice weak. "I can't get a job that is not cash under tables. I-I have no passport, even-... Robert-"

"He took your passport, I know. And if you keep working for me, that's not a problem, I'll take care of you," Noah said, shifting to soothing. He patted Finn on the back and then dropped his hand, leaving crawling goosebumps like ripples in a pond, rolling out disgust over Finn's body. "If you don't want to do this anymore, that's fine. Strike out on your own, go with God, have my blessings, whatever. But I can't just... pay for you for everything forever. Everyone has to earn their keep, around here."

Robert used to say that all the time. Earn your keep. Finn earned his keep, as Robert's Mouse, on his knees or his back or his stomach or listening to the screams from the basement with the muzzle locking his jaw tightly closed, he couldn't even scream with them-

He shivered, shaking his head. "I do not want to stop," He whispered, lips barely moving. "I-I have nowhere to go, no one... I took a week off, Noah, that is all. Just a week-"

"You can take a week off whenever you want." Noah stood, brushing his hands down his thighs as if getting rid of some invisible dust. "Let me know first, and I'll make sure you have no work to do. But if you turn off your phone and your GPS again, I'm going to assume that means you quit, and I'll cancel your phone line and your debit card. So make sure I know where you are. Got it?"

Finn didn't look up. He held Little Mother's gaze as she moved closer to him, her tail a question mark, rubbing her face against his leg and giving a soft, curious meow.

"Hey." Noah nudged his other leg with his boot, and Finn flinched as if he'd been struck. "Oh, man. Hey, don't be like that." Noah softened once more - or his voice did. Finn didn't look up to see his expression. "I just want to know you hear me. I can't spend all my time worrying about you. Make sure I know where you are, from here on out. No exceptions. None. Understood?"

Finn swallowed. His throat felt like it had closed, like his heart had filled it with too much fear to speak. But he managed to whisper, "I understand, Noah."

"Good. I have a job to do here, a couple people to pick up and take to Vermont. You take a couple days to think about our conversation. I expect a call at 8 pm on Thursday, no later than that. If you don't call, I'll assume you quit and act accordingly. Stay safe."

He walked away, and Finn let him go, sitting in the smallest ball he could make of himself, listening to the happy people laughing and chatting around him as they took in the mountain views on every side.

Noah had Finn's passport.

He was sure of it - he was sure he remembered Robert handed it over when he sold Finn to him, when Robert's little Mouse was handed from one man's care to the next, silent and shivering through the experience.

But by the time he'd found the courage to ask, Noah had said there hadn't been any passport, just the title to the truck changing hands.

But Finn remembered it.

Then again, Finn remembered things that hadn't happened all the time, now. He forgot things that had happened, or that would happen. Noah was right, he barely remembered anything, really. Maybe that was something that hadn't happened, too.

Maybe...

But he was so sure, and the memory was so clear...

"Komme, Mütterchen," He said, pushing himself to his feet on wobbling legs. Little Mother and her kittens reluctantly allowed him to put them back into the truck, one by one. He made sure his phone was on and charging, his laptop, checked the GPS that was installed. Just as Noah told him to.

Good little Mouse, closing the door to his own cage.

At least, Finn thought, Noah's cage was so much larger than Robert's had been.

Even if it still wasn't freedom.

[altered-records-system]

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

Whump Prompt #1223

Submitted by @uniwolfcorn - thanks!

Whumpee has a brain operation or head injury that makes them lose their memories and/or change their personality

[something-existing-somewhere]

I remember sitting in my room as a kid at night making suicide notes and making funeral charts, losing my mind and hoping someone would take me away from everything. Back then, I felt like existing made me lose my mind. With a religious family, i prayed to God so many times to save me, i would've been sent to a loving house that night if he really did exist and cared about my pain that much. All my friends eventually left me because they either pretended or got tired of me. I wrote poems all the time about how alone I felt and yet I wanted people to be my friends so bad but I always ended up alone. Now I don't even try really. Nobody cares and that's the truth

[rottenn-angel]

mom (about a beating I got as a child): “you remember that???”

I know your gaslighting benefits from me not remembering 90% of my childhood due to Bad Memory Disorder, but believe it or not I do have some memories of the bullshit you put me through. strange how traumatic situations tend to stick with you.

[bpdmaxxer]

I cant look down at my legs in the shower anymore ever since I saw the blood dripping out of my bruised vag