#tw; sucide
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what if penelope was in love in paradise
#tw sucidal ideation#i’m really tired sorry chat#but yeah#i dont know if this one is that good bc the colors aren’t as bright as i want them to be#if this does worse than the wip i posted of it i may die#my artwork#art#sketch#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#odysseus#penelope#odypen
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I hate when people say suicide is the easy way out, they have no idea the pain you must be in to want to end your own life
#tw sucidal ideation#tw selfhate#mentally drained#sorry for being depressing#anxitey#i hate me so much#tw depressing thoughts#tw sui ideation#depressing shit#mental health#tw depressing stuff#please let me die#please let me kms#let me go#you’re losing me#you’re on your own kid#mental problems#i wanna die#i want to disappear#i wish i was dead#i’ll never recover#what is wrong with my brain#tw sui vent#tw self h4rm#mentally fucked#so fucking exhausted#tw sui talk#very unstable#im going to kms#what is wrong with me
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sorry for the inactivity again
#tw depressing thoughts#depressing life#depressing shit#self destruction#this is depressing#kinda depressing#sorry for being depressing#i wanna die#depressiv#tw depressing stuff#tw depression#tw sucidal ideation#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied
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By @hel7l7
#sadnees#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#i'm sad#tw depressing stuff#depressing life#childhood trauma#quotes#poetic#childhood#childhood ptsd#childhood truama#child abuse#truamacore#tw self destruction#tw selfhate#wound tw#tw: sucidal thoughts#self h@rm#self h@te#sucicide#sucidial#tw abuse#generational truama#tw ptsd#complex ptsd#kill my thoughts#kill my life#this is a cry for help#i am in pain
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BY INSERTING ODYSSEUS’S MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND HIS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS JAY HAS ACTUALLY MADE LOVE IN PARADISE SO MUCH MORE ANGSTY OMG???
The dissociation—Odysseus was in no shape to carry on. Jay didn’t even need to bring up anything abt s.a. that happened on the island—just a simple comparison between the behaviors of Odysseus when he arrived and that of Odysseus seven years later: just look what happened on this island that caused him to breakdown so thoroughly. This is so perfectly done.
#odysseus#greek mythology#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#jorge rivera herrans#epic odysseus#epic calypso#the odyssey#tagamemnon#love in paradise#tw: sucidal thoughts#tw: sa#edit: welp guess my rambling has been targeted by winion mania lol#anyways my first time getting 1k notes huh#why is it on the top pages of those tw tags—#1k#2k#huh
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[Tw: Suicidal Reader]
Femboy Assassin Yan: This can't be accurate... You ordered a hit on yourself??
Suicidal Darling: I'm too scared to do it myself, but... I'm even more afraid of being alive when I'm all alone and have been that way my whole life..
Femboy Assassin: ...
-
Femboy Housewife Yan: How are you feeling today, Sweetie?
Darling, wrapped in a blanket: Bad, but.. a little better that I was.. Is that okay?
Femboy Housewife Yan, kissing their forehead: It's a start, and that's all that matters.
#tw: sucidal thoughts#Aspen my oc#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere insert#yandere scenarios#yandere headcanons#male yandere#yandere blurb#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere oc#femboy yan#yandere assassin#yandere text
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Nobody talks about how suecidal thoughts are sometimes comforting. Like you think to yourself that no matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets. Thats the one thing that will always be there. It feels releaving knowing that theres just a way out, of everything. That you can skip all the steps and just quit. That can be calming. And thats dangerous. Really fucking dangerous.
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For your adoptive son au all I can think about is the media storm that’s about to destroy these two 😭
Like when the news comes out everyone’s gonna bash Danny, saying things like “always knew he was shady” or “figures, rich people are all bad” and then praising Dick for going undercover and revealing the monster
And then BAM the accusations are false! All the kids that were on his file of “trafficked” kids all came to testify in Danny’s defense!
Then because the media needs someone to hate all eyes turn to Dick. Because “these are serious accusations he’s practically ruined Danny’s career!”
Tbh when all the court stuff is done I totally imagine Danny severing any and all ties to Wayne company, not because he’s petty but because it genuinely hurts to be connected to a company that belongs to his exes family
Like this is gonna destroy Danny and Dick but the media is gonna make it so much worse for them
The batfam is gonna kick themselves for honestly not digging a little deeper and interviewing a few of the kids on file before straight up turning him in, they probably think they ruined Danny’s life with these accusations
Danny probably doesn’t care that much about the company at this point, he’s just sad that the man he thought he was having a genuine relationship with turned out to be a fake and probably never loved him at all 💔
Despite the pain, Dick keeps an eye on the news, waiting for the announcement of Crowne's arrest to be announced. He went back to bed after taking some photos of the journals. He laid next to the man one that was profiting off of children.
He stared at the ceiling, feeling a sick sort of numb. Unwillingly he thought back to all the times he had had the stray thought that Crowne wasn't evil.
That the bats had it wrong. How could a man as kind and dear as he does something so horrid? Dick had allowed himself to be relived with each failed month of searching for evdidnce.
He can admit it now. He had prayed that Crowne was innocent and had conducted his investigation not nearly as through as he should have.
He had.
Crowne even keeps a record of who and where the children were sold to. The man he fallen in love with was bookkeeping his crimes as easily as he did for his company.
The following day, Crowne- he had been Danny only a few hours ago.- had made him breakfast. The same way his mother used to make for Dick, admitting with a blush that he contacted Harley Cirius to ask for the recipe.
He made his heart swell and then break in the same bite. Dick played his role through the breakfast. His face felt like plastic, the smile he sent Crowne slimly, and he all but ran out of that house.
The house that, in another life, they would have likely raise a family in.
Don't think about it. Dick hissed at himself, tears filling his eyes as he drove away. Bruce had edited out the evidence and would break in while Crowne was working to capture the record books. They would meet in Commissioner Gordon's office, where Dick would turn in his lover. Not my lover. It was never real.
If he tells himself that, maybe he will believe it.
The commissioner had been grim faced as Dick broke down in his office, speaking through wrenched sobs and broken words of the journals he had found. He didn't even need to pretend to be a sobbing mess.
Dick doesn't think he's felt this terrible in a long time. It felt worse than when he and Bruce had their fights. At least then he could also feel anger. Now, he only feels pain, grief, betyal and shattered hope. Bruce- playing the part of a worried father- rubbed his back and anchored him through the moment.
The story they went with was that a few weeks ago, Dick started to suspect that Crowne was cheating on him. After learning about his work schedule, he noticed his boyfriend was always busy with non-work business.
He brought it up with Crowne, but the other man would often dance around the subject. After a while of this, Dick had been unable to help snoop around, where he stumbled across the journals.
At first, he assumed the books were for the many children-based charities that Crowne ran and didn't think they were too important. He continues to date Crowne after not finding any cheating evidence. But Dick could not help about those strange journals or Crowne's cagey behavior about his wearabouts.
Dick had searched the children's names, only to find them all matching missing children notices. He realized what Crowne was doing and had gone straight to Bruce, freaking out.
Bruce had taken them to Gordon since the man was such a close family friend, and they were worried what Crowne would do to Dick if he learned what Dick had discovered.
Gordon had assured them that they would remain anonymous until the trial,getting the warrants and taking the necessary steps to arrest Crowne. Feeling numb, Dick had been taken back to the Wayne Manor.
Bruce fretted around him, unsure what to do with his son, who had obviously fallen for a monster. Jason and Damian tried in their own way too help too, but Dick could not feel up to any of it.
He climbs into his room, muffling his sobs into his pillow, feeling sick and wrong to his stomach. He tossed and turneduntil Crowne's voice whispered I think I love you, Dick and he as if his world was ending.
A few seconds later, he's racing into the bathroom, hurling the breakfast Crowne had made him. It swirled around in the toilet as Dick gagged and gasped, mourning what he had lost for this mission.
The sweet kind man he fell in love with was dead to him.
"The worst part," Dick thinks he confessed to Bruce between tears and throwing up. His father had come racing when Jason reported the noises coming from Dick's bathroom. "Is that I was the one who killed him."
It's been three days.
He had texted Crowne lying about going on a trip and barely responded to the messages he received in return. He hadn't gone out on patrol in days and had barely ventured out of his room.
Sleep evaded because all he dreamed about was Crowne's sweet smiles, gentle hugs, and laughing eyes. His nightmares were filled with Crowne's smug smirk, surrounded by screaming children in cages. The worst nights were when Crowne would kiss him, pushing him against the cages as children cling to Dick's legs screaming and crying in haunting tones. why? why? why? Why do you love him? Look what he's done to us! Why!? Save us!
Dick woke with his own scream trapped in his throat and his arms reaching for a man who he shouldn't want anymore.
Now he, in the present, he sat before his tv watching the News. The lights were all off, the curtains drawn tightly closed. His family worried about him, but they all agree to watch the moment by himself, if only to spare his diginty.
Gordon had sent the message that the warrents were approve and proof had been dropped off by Batman after bringing it to the hero's attention.
They would be arresting Crowne.
Dick would watch it live. See with his own eyes, and his own ears what his lies had exposed.
"Breaking news," The anchor suddenly says, staring intently into the camera. Besides her, a small window shows the familiar front entrance of Crowne's company offices. Dick clenches his fist into the blankets he has wrapped around himself. "Danny Crowne, Owner, CEO and head developer for his family company, Crowne Co. has just been arrested on accusations of human trafficking. We go live to Crowne Co Admin bulding"
The window expands to the entire screen, and Dick feels his stomach turn into horrific mini-whirl pools as various camera crew scramble for a clear view. There is a crowd of unhappy citizens being held back by the police.
Someone had leaked what crimes Crowne had done. The news had spread fast enough that he was deeply hated by the people who had once cheered onhis name.
Crowne is led out in handcuffs by two scowling police officers. His suit is rumpled, and three large bruises are forming on his face- probably due to Officer Black, whose sister was sold to human traffickers when he was a kid-but it means nothing to his expression of devastation.
He looks to be in shock, staring down at his bound hands with dead seat eyes as if he was unsure of what he was seeing. The crowd starts screaming the moment they catch sight of him. Loud curses and swears are all aimed at the man who stumbles his way into the police car.
The doors of Crowne headquarters burst open by a screaming child. Timothy Drake is held back by officers as he desperately screams for his older brother. He starts fighting with all his tiny might as a woman from CPS drags him away.
The reporting journalist for the News outlet doesn't stop speaking as Crowne is led away, looking to be sobbing into his hands as the Police drive away. Drake is thrown into another car, banging on the windows and screaming so much his voice is raw.
The two would likely never see each other again.
Dick's vision blurs with more tears.
He wishes this would have made him angry. He's good with anger. He knows his rage. This grief is consumingly painful.
She outlines the accusations against Crowne, explaining that Gotham's finest had gotten a tip from an unknown source about the possible missing children. Dick slumps into his bed ice racing down his arms and legs, leaving each limb in pins and needles.
He can't stop picturing Crowne's form hunched over in tears, glowing in those red and blue lights.
"There is a gag order on the investigation, " the woman says, mic close to her face and looking grim. "We will keep the people updated with any new information released as we wait for Crowne's trail. Back to you Susan."
The screen flashes back to the old news member, who makes one single comment of disgust for Crowne before moving on to a string of cyber attackes by a unknown hacker.
Dick stops listening due to the rining that build up in his ears. It's done. Crowne was arrested. He will be go through his trail, be found guilty and locked up for the rest of his life.
Batman, Robin, and Sparrow would be hunting down the people involved in the ring, rescuing the missing children. The story was over. The villian defeated and the heros had won.
Yet, Dick felt that he could never live to see a happily ever after. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to feel happy.
______________________________________________________
Days blend into each other. Dick isn't sure how much time passes with him lying in his room, too exhausted to get upand go about his day. His family crowds around him, speaking in low, worried tones.
Jason tries to read to him. In bursts of awareness, he discusses the plot but most days, Dick can only find the energy to only stare at him.
Damian, still trying to find his footing in the manor, brings his cat- Alfred- to cuddle against Dick's chest. He doesn't speak much but the purring of his pe helps some sensations return.
Bruce spent most of his time petting Dick's hair and whispering apologies. For the fighting. For the war, he brought him into. For making him due something that had broken Dick's heart. Dick tells him between sobs that he forgives him and that he's sorry too.
Alfred just provids support, tea and stories of his own lost broken heart.
Dick can feel himself rot around in his room but can't bring himself to care. Not even when Bruce finally panics enough to invite the Teen Titians to speak to him. His friends arrive between waves of consciousness, forcing food down his throat and pushing him into the shower.
He isn't aware of how Crowne's trial is going. Walley doesn't think it is a good idea to keep up with it, blocking it from all his outlets. He's the only one he would be allowed to do that.
It leaves Dick in the dark, and suddenly the world looks so much colder. It is hard to remember the world is still spinning outside of the Manor.
Dick closes his eyes, sinking into his mattress, drifting away among the worried chattered of his friends. Thankfully, the nightmares have stopped. The memoriess too.
All that greets him is the blissful nothing of darkness.
____________________________________________________________
"You did this." A voice hisses, snapping Dick from his blank stare at the wall. Raven and Kori had just stepped out after magically him clean and had gone to go get him food.
How many days has it been since he left his room? Dick can't remember. It's been a while; his body feels weak. His friends' and family's eyes have grown increasingly frantic in worry.
He twists his head to find a small figure in his doorway. It's not any of his younger brothers but someone dressed in all black. The bottom half of their face is covered by a black cloth, leaving their burning blue eyes alight with hatred in plain sight.
A intruder.
Dick should be worried about that, shouldn't he? He can't find the energy to be.
"He trusted you. He loved you. And you did this to him," The figure spats, striding forward, hatred dripping from his words. "They're investigating my parents too. The police think they helped Danny and took me away from them. My life is ruined because of you."
He stands over his figure now, holding a needle. Dick wonders if he's going to kill him. He can't find it in himself to care. Is that not an alarming thought?
But he doesn't feel fear. In fact, Dick can't feel anything at all. He makes no sound as the needle breaks the skin of his neck, nor when the figure leans in to whisper. "It's only fair I ruin yours in turn, right?"
Dick slowly gives into the blissful darkness as more figures enter the room, surrounding his body and lifting it off the bed. The last thing he sees is the thrown picture frame, one of the intruders throwing onto the sheets.
It holds the smiling faces of Dick and Crowne on their last date.
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#the adoptive son#Part 6#tw: depression#tw: sucidal thoughts#tw: human trafficking#Dick is going through it#THe Heros can't figure out how to help him#Danny is in sitting in Jail#angst#Two more parts left#Can you guess who kidnapped Dick?
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I don’t think suicidal thoughts actually ever go away.
#self h@rm#tw s3lf harm#tw sui ideation#sewer slide#tw sucidal ideation#su!cidal#tw self destruction#tw disordered eating#anarecja#ed not ed sheeran#tw sh implied#tw self destructive thoughts#self mutilator
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I want someone to notice, but on the other hand, i don’t.
#depressing shit#depressiv#tw depressing stuff#cvtaddict#cvutting#kinda depressing#mental illness#sad thoughts#self h@rm#self h@te#i want to cvt#baby cvts#tw depressing thoughts#tw self destructive behavior#tw selfhate#tw self destruction#tw sucidal ideation#tw self destructive thoughts#su
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I’m so tired of not being what everyone wants me to be why isn’t just me good enough why can’t people love just me why am I only ever actually wanted when I’m anything but myself
#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bpd stuff#tw sucidal ideation#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressing shit#depressing life
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sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal
#desiblr#txt post#txt#dark academia#writers on tumblr#desi tumblr#tw: sucidal thoughts#life quotes#chronic pain#spilled thoughts#art#artists on tumblr
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I walk into a room and immediately think of all the potential ways to kill myself that exist there
#mentally drained#mental health#anxitey#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#i hate me so much#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#tw sui ideation#mental problems#tw sucidal ideation#tw selfhate#please let me kms#i wanna cvt#let me go#you’re losing me#i wish i could disappear#you’re on your own kid#mental illness#mentally exhausted#i wanna die#ready to kms#let me disappear#please end my suffering#please let me die#why am i this way#please help#i cant do this#i’ll never recover#why can’t i just be okay
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BOBBY NASH and AMIR CASEY | 9-1-1 → 7x08 Step Nine
#911#911 spoilers#911edit#bobby nash#amir casey#bobbynashedit#7x08#911verse#tvedit#cinematv#sophgifs#tw: grief#tw: flashing gif#tw: sucidal thoughts#tw: suidice#tw: blood
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I’m not sure I deserve it ..
#sadnees#tw depressing thoughts#depressing shit#i'm sad#depressing life#tw depressing stuff#childhood trauma#quotes#poetic#childhood#tw self destruction#tw selfhate#wound tw#tw: sucidal thoughts#tw abuse#tw ptsd#self h@rm#self h@te#truamacore#truama mention#childhood ptsd#childhood truama#this is a cry for help#i hate everything#kill my thoughts#kill my feelings#kill my life#mentally fucked#mentally drained#mentally exhausted
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"Why would you do that to yourself" I'm trying my best to soothe the pain, trying to cradle it so that maybe just maybe it will stop crying out
#self h@rm#depressing shit#tw self h4rm#hitting styro#tw self destruction#cvtaddict#i want to cvt#styroblr#slef harm#tw depressing thoughts#tw s/h#tw depressing stuff#tw sucidal ideation#tw depression#self destructor#su1c1dal#self mutilator#self mutalition#selfharrrm#sorry for being depressing#tw ed but not sheeran#ed relapse#eating disoder trigger warning#tw eating issues#tw self sabotage#tw self destructive behavior#tw selfhate#tw death#tw s3lf harm#disordered eating mention
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