#tw: self negativity
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The Fall of Fair City - Chapter 1
Dr. Two Brains yawned as he sat through another dull meeting for the Evil Villains Association or EVA, at the hotel outside of town. It wasn't that he found every villain meeting dull. Most of the time these meetings were helpful such as keeping villain crimes organized with schedules so two or more villains won't end up robbing the same place at the same time. It was also nice to know when an annual BBQ or Beach Day for villains is coming up, just to have a time to relax from the stressful work of planning, stealing, and fighting the local hero. What Dr. Two Brains found annoying and tedious were how the meetings were delivered sometimes, some villains got to the point which he was grateful for, but others seemed to droll on and on. Just wrap it up already, People can hold attention for a twenty minute time limit then its snooze city. Dr. Two Brains gave a quiet huff as Lady Redundant Woman was finishing up. He didn't mind this villain, he actually admired her as a person and her skills as a villain. It was just irritating for the mad scientist when she had to repeat certain words thrice in different ways, all with the same meaning. Two Brains knew well the different ways to use words thank you very much. He has an alien daughter with off the grid vocabulary skills. "And finally, winding up, and in conclusion." Lady Redundant Woman, the EVA's president, spoke aloud, "after you rob a valuable place like the jewelry store or the pawn shop, even if you get caught by Wordgirl, leave the place a bit better than you found it. Other villains who rob those areas have complained about broken glass and lack of values to steal when they try to rob the place as well." The EVA members just grumbled but nodded in confirmation. A few side glanced at Chuck who was looking sheepish. LRW nodded, pleased with the response. "One final thing." She announced, halting the villains from being dismissed. "In about a month and a half from now is our annual villain's anniversary potluck. Attendance is not required, needed, nor necessary but all villains should want to attend for good food and sharing exciting stories about your crimes. This event is a celebration for every villain's first time appearance and crime in Fair City as well as their first face off with Wordgirl." All of the villains cheered, excited for the anniversary, well all except for one mad scientist. Dr. Two Brains looked down at his feet while LRW and the other villains began discussing plans for the event. The anniversary of him becoming a villain was one of the best, but also worse moments of his life, for both him and Becky. On one hand, it was sort of a liberating experience. He could finally create what he wanted, do what he want. At the same time, his identity and mind became shot and warped. He was forced into this life by a careless mistake, succumbed to pleasing the obsession of a crazed mouse brain. It wasn't fair sometimes that all these villains had a choice on this path, while he had to begin rolling with the punches. He had lost friends and loved ones. Two Brains felt extremely lucky to remember his own child and her monkey as well as the close family members who still talked to him. He was also grateful for tenure and that villainy didn't affect it. The mouse man sighed in self anger. He hated how weak he was to Squeaky's will. He was proud to see how much his daughter could resist the mouse the last time they were brain swapped. 'Look at me, I couldn't do something an 11 year old girl could.' Dr. Two Brains berated himself in thought. He enjoyed villainy now, he just wish he could take control of it more to his liking. Two Brains looked back up at LRW when she silenced the elated villains. "You are may go now, leave, skedaddle." She finally said, shooing the others away and back to their daily lives. All the villains got up. Some stayed behind to talk to some fellow cohorts or waiting for a ride. Others began to leave for home. @melodythebunny @drtwobrainsstuff
#wordgirl#wordgirl au#dr two brains#angst#wordgirl villains#lady redundant woman#chuck the evil sandwich making guy#the fall of fair city#chapter 1#tw: self negativity
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Quick warning at the start here because this is going to get a little personal and there will be some vague trauma/mental health talk (potential tw are tagged)
I wanna talk about Marc.
I really didn't like him when I first watched Moon Knight. When he was first 'introduced' so to say.
I think maybe people aren't supposed to like him at the start. Of course once you get into his backstory, the trauma and everything it gets easy to sympathize with him but when we first meet Marc?
God I thought he was such a jerk.
It grated on my nerves that this adult man couldn't fucking communicate with the people in his life that he loved. That he refused to tell Steven what was going on until he was forced to do so. That he just left Layla with divorce papers he didn't even have the balls to sign himself.
All for their 'protection'.
I had such a visceral reaction to his behavior that I haven't had to the actions of a fictional character in a long time.
Why wouldn't he just tell them? Why wouldn't he open up? Why was he so defensive? Why doesn't he let people help? Why doesn't he-
Now wait a minute.
I knew there was trauma. I know living with trauma and mental illness and fucking life sucks. Why did Marc make me feel so bad when every other character, every other person, didn't?
And then it hit me.
Because I do the same.
I am neurodivergent and I certainly didn't like myself a lot of the time growing up.
I had to deal with a lot of shit when I was younger. Childhood could have been a fuckton worse but it wasn't a joyride either. So how did I deal with that at a very young age?
I didn't.
Duh.
The way I coped with my issues was taking care of other people's issues. Because if I worry about other people I don't have to worry about myself.
Makes sense right?
So I didn't tell people my problems because on the very few times I did I got shut down.
'Everyone feels that way.'
'It'll be better. Just think positively.'
'Other people have it worse.'
So I just stopped talking to people about my issues and focused on their issues.
Which worked for a while. And then it didn't. It started to knaw on me. I got defensive. I got down right mean sometimes.
I was not always a fun person to be around. (I still doubt I am now tbh)
I realized in my late teens/early twenties that that is not the way to cope. So I worked on that. I found people that actually cared and that I could talk to. I learned to even fucking like myself (most of the time).
Enter Marc Spector.
And once it clicked I saw the parallels only adding up more and more. He was this stark reminder of all my past issues, those I figured out how to handle and those I didn't (yet).
And it fucking hurt.
I have seen a lot of people talk about how Steven helped them love themselves. People with autism for example that saw themselves represented. People that saw themselves in him and seeing other people love Steven made them realized that they too can be and are loved.
And I do too! Steven was my immediate favorite. I loved that he was passionate about his special interests, I loved how much he cared and just how sweet he was in general.
But Marc hit me like a fucking train.
Marc doesn't know how to really ask for help. In his mind he needs to take all the issues and burden on himself. He cares so much for Layla and for Steven and wants to help and protect them more than he does for himself.
And fuck did I feel seen. Uncomfortably so.
I love Marc and I love Steven. First of all because they are just great characters but also because of what they represent.
They show that when you are struggling and feeling helpless that even if you don't feel like it: you deserve to be loved. Even when shit gets ugly.
I really don't know how to end this tbh. This is more rambling and trauma dumping than anything else but.
I suppose I just needed to get this off of my chest like a year after the show aired.
And idk maybe people can relate to that too.
#Marc Spector#Moon Knight#moon knight show#tw: mental health#tw: mental illness#tw: self loathing#tw: self negativity#tw: self deprecation#tw: self esteem issues
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What bad habits do they have?
Elaine has a LOT of bad habits.
She regularly doesn't eat, worsening her health overall.
She wanders into places she REALLY should not go- Even when people have warned her about it.
She talks to strangers.
She approaches dangerous people and things of her own free will.
The list goes on, but you get the point I'm sure. Elaine has a lot of very self destructive habits because she has no love for herself and doesn't particularly think her life is one protecting because she is dying anyway.
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It starts with one bad thought.
Unkind and jagged
It drops into my mind,
like a rock into water.
Gradually, the thoughts expand.
Rippling outward,
Bending, breaking the surface
Until they reach the shore.
I am left grasping, gasping, reeling.
Until it stops.
I try to enjoy the stillness,
But I know it's only a matter of time until the next wave.
#katie writes things#poetry#tbd#thorny brain post#tw: self negativity#self negativity#please don't click if that upsets you :) thank you
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【𝟐:𝟏𝟕 𝑨𝑴】
Tw: negative thoughts
Toge was patiently waiting for you to come home, it was 2 am and you weren't even picking your phone. It made him worried sick about you. Meanwhile you just weren't in your right thought, you wished that someone actually loved. You looked at yourself in the mirror in the store and you realised you weren't that pretty as you thought about it. They were right.. Everyone who pointed out your flaws was right.. You looked at toge's name on your phone and couldn't help but think how bad you are. You were ignoring your husband..
The only one who cared about you.
He was worried sick about you. Sitting alone on the edge of the window with a cup of coffee with his hands waiting for your car to appear in the road, he wanted to hold you closer and comfort you if anything was wrong.. You just were letting your negative thoughts come and get you. You were sitting in the car crying your eyes out remembering how everyone looks at you...
You wished to be accepted by your loved ones...
#tw: negative thoughts#tw: self negativity#i wish i was pretty#Honestly#I want toge to comfort me..#inumaki#inumaki to/ge#jjk inumaki#inumaki fluff#inumaki toge#jjk#toge inumaki#jujutsu kaisen inumaki#anime#jujutsu kaisen#Just saying#I'm writing this at 2am#& crying my eyes out#i want to be pretty#like why
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‘m really sorry for being such a nuisance…
You didn’t have to look for me or anything, really…
I really am a problem, huh…?
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I am doing so bad mentally and emotionally. For various reasons out of my control, but. I want to destroy myself. Not in a violent or harmful way, but in a social self destructive way. I was to ruin every relationship that isn’t incredibly important. I want to cut my hair. I want to change who I am in some way in hopes that it’ll fulfill me, even for a moment. Even for a second. Because I am so miserable right now and I don’t see anything else to improve it. I’m tired of living my life. I’m tired of pretending for other people’s sake. I’m tired of ME.
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+ ( one of these days i’ll stop trying to fool myself that people like me instead of accepting they are just tolerating me. )
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💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — my muse's personality (teddy)
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my fat fucking calves won’t let me fit these damn skinny jeans anymore
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urgh what is wrong with me??? did my parents drop me too much as a child or something????
#random stuff on my account like usual#self depreciation#tw: self negativity#i hate myself so much#why can't i do anything#what is wrong with me#i'm so sad and so depressed#omg i don't know what to do
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#( gonna bury myself in drafts tonight. )#( feel very much like an afterthought )#( I’ve vented too much on here and MJ lately so I need to just start shutting up and writing )#out of character talk ( ooc )#( mobile )#tw: self negativity
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she hated this, of all people Josie's brother was the closest near by to help. She had heard the rumors, the whispers. There was no reason not to believe it. She sighed trying to calm her breathing but it was hard. This was her fault, like it always was. She was always causing problems. There was a reason no one stayed, why everyone eventually would leave her. Why she was bound to be alone.
"I just-" god she didn't want to admit it. She felt so stupid and embarrassed "I told him I loved him and he said he needed some air next thing I know he went down...I-" She covered and face with her hand. "This is all my fault....just tell me he's going to be okay..." She couldn't believe it. She killed her boyfriend and her Best friend. A murderer, like one of those documentaries that would play all the time on the TV when she was younger.
Benjamin had been in the middle of finishing a dance with Allegra when he heard a small commotion from the entrance of the hall. Honestly, he would've continued to mind his own business if it weren't for Amber Ryan calling out his name. He gave her a look that felt like a 10-page apology and ran over, finding Naomi's younger brother, Noah on the ground.
"Woah, woah, woah, hey--" He said, gently resting his hand on Amber's back as he got down to the ground. "I'm right here, don't panic." He noticed his chest rising and falling, so at least the kid was breathing. "Deep breaths, what happened? Can you tell me?" He asked, already moving to lift his legs. Pale raise the tail. Simple. Hopefully.
#Thread (Amber and Benjamin)#ft. Noah on the Floor#thread (Amber and Noah)#tw: panic attack#tw: self negativity#Tw: Abandonment issues#tw: murder mention
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lil hater Leo thinkin thoughts
Lil Hater Masterpost
#rottmnt#art#fanart#digital art#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#comic#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt comic#rottmnt art#lil hater au#leosagi#tw negative self talk#tw negative thoughts#negative tw
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💦 You're worried that friendball-irl won't accept you.
Hhaha…
You aren’t wrong…
My father and mother thought I was a monster, even before I lost my soul and started to spiral, so why would someone as nice as Gray want me?
I mean, I guess I have powerful Pokémon, and can be a scapegoat if anything happens…
Still, even if they don’t truly love me, that doesn’t mean I can’t pretend, right…?
It’s fine! I mean, I’ve been abandoned so many times before, why would this be different?!
What if they only want me because I’m entertaining, and when I stop being entertaining they’ll drop me like everyone else!
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Jesus why haven't you killed yourself
there is something deeply wrong with you if you can say this to another human being.
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