#tw: self negativity

[ninjastormhawkkat]

The Fall of Fair City - Chapter 1

Dr. Two Brains yawned as he sat through another dull meeting for the Evil Villains Association or EVA, at the hotel outside of town. It wasn't that he found every villain meeting dull. Most of the time these meetings were helpful such as keeping villain crimes organized with schedules so two or more villains won't end up robbing the same place at the same time. It was also nice to know when an annual BBQ or Beach Day for villains is coming up, just to have a time to relax from the stressful work of planning, stealing, and fighting the local hero. What Dr. Two Brains found annoying and tedious were how the meetings were delivered sometimes, some villains got to the point which he was grateful for, but others seemed to droll on and on. Just wrap it up already, People can hold attention for a twenty minute time limit then its snooze city. Dr. Two Brains gave a quiet huff as Lady Redundant Woman was finishing up. He didn't mind this villain, he actually admired her as a person and her skills as a villain. It was just irritating for the mad scientist when she had to repeat certain words thrice in different ways, all with the same meaning. Two Brains knew well the different ways to use words thank you very much. He has an alien daughter with off the grid vocabulary skills. "And finally, winding up, and in conclusion." Lady Redundant Woman, the EVA's president, spoke aloud, "after you rob a valuable place like the jewelry store or the pawn shop, even if you get caught by Wordgirl, leave the place a bit better than you found it. Other villains who rob those areas have complained about broken glass and lack of values to steal when they try to rob the place as well." The EVA members just grumbled but nodded in confirmation. A few side glanced at Chuck who was looking sheepish. LRW nodded, pleased with the response. "One final thing." She announced, halting the villains from being dismissed. "In about a month and a half from now is our annual villain's anniversary potluck. Attendance is not required, needed, nor necessary but all villains should want to attend for good food and sharing exciting stories about your crimes. This event is a celebration for every villain's first time appearance and crime in Fair City as well as their first face off with Wordgirl." All of the villains cheered, excited for the anniversary, well all except for one mad scientist. Dr. Two Brains looked down at his feet while LRW and the other villains began discussing plans for the event. The anniversary of him becoming a villain was one of the best, but also worse moments of his life, for both him and Becky. On one hand, it was sort of a liberating experience. He could finally create what he wanted, do what he want. At the same time, his identity and mind became shot and warped. He was forced into this life by a careless mistake, succumbed to pleasing the obsession of a crazed mouse brain. It wasn't fair sometimes that all these villains had a choice on this path, while he had to begin rolling with the punches. He had lost friends and loved ones. Two Brains felt extremely lucky to remember his own child and her monkey as well as the close family members who still talked to him. He was also grateful for tenure and that villainy didn't affect it. The mouse man sighed in self anger. He hated how weak he was to Squeaky's will. He was proud to see how much his daughter could resist the mouse the last time they were brain swapped. 'Look at me, I couldn't do something an 11 year old girl could.' Dr. Two Brains berated himself in thought. He enjoyed villainy now, he just wish he could take control of it more to his liking. Two Brains looked back up at LRW when she silenced the elated villains. "You are may go now, leave, skedaddle." She finally said, shooing the others away and back to their daily lives. All the villains got up. Some stayed behind to talk to some fellow cohorts or waiting for a ride. Others began to leave for home. @melodythebunny @drtwobrainsstuff

[sxlemnity]

What bad habits do they have?

Elaine has a LOT of bad habits.

She regularly doesn't eat, worsening her health overall.

She wanders into places she REALLY should not go- Even when people have warned her about it.

She talks to strangers.

She approaches dangerous people and things of her own free will.

The list goes on, but you get the point I'm sure. Elaine has a lot of very self destructive habits because she has no love for herself and doesn't particularly think her life is one protecting because she is dying anyway.

[whisperingwinters]

‘m really sorry for being such a nuisance…

You didn’t have to look for me or anything, really…

I really am a problem, huh…?

[gunnhilda]

I am doing so bad mentally and emotionally. For various reasons out of my control, but. I want to destroy myself. Not in a violent or harmful way, but in a social self destructive way. I was to ruin every relationship that isn’t incredibly important. I want to cut my hair. I want to change who I am in some way in hopes that it’ll fulfill me, even for a moment. Even for a second. Because I am so miserable right now and I don’t see anything else to improve it.  I’m tired of living my life. I’m tired of pretending for other people’s sake. I’m tired of ME.

[dangerstxrlet]

+ ( one of these days i’ll stop trying to fool myself that people like me instead of accepting they are just tolerating me. )

[lxvenderhxzehv]

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — my muse's personality (teddy)

[thetwistedfaun]

my fat fucking calves won’t let me fit these damn skinny jeans anymore

[saebaragi]

urgh what is wrong with me??? did my parents drop me too much as a child or something????

[arxchnoverturea]

-

[lxvenderhxzehv]

she hated this, of all people Josie's brother was the closest near by to help. She had heard the rumors, the whispers. There was no reason not to believe it. She sighed trying to calm her breathing but it was hard. This was her fault, like it always was. She was always causing problems. There was a reason no one stayed, why everyone eventually would leave her. Why she was bound to be alone.

"I just-" god she didn't want to admit it. She felt so stupid and embarrassed "I told him I loved him and he said he needed some air next thing I know he went down...I-" She covered and face with her hand. "This is all my fault....just tell me he's going to be okay..." She couldn't believe it. She killed her boyfriend and her Best friend. A murderer, like one of those documentaries that would play all the time on the TV when she was younger.

Benjamin had been in the middle of finishing a dance with Allegra when he heard a small commotion from the entrance of the hall. Honestly, he would've continued to mind his own business if it weren't for Amber Ryan calling out his name. He gave her a look that felt like a 10-page apology and ran over, finding Naomi's younger brother, Noah on the ground.

"Woah, woah, woah, hey--" He said, gently resting his hand on Amber's back as he got down to the ground. "I'm right here, don't panic." He noticed his chest rising and falling, so at least the kid was breathing. "Deep breaths, what happened? Can you tell me?" He asked, already moving to lift his legs. Pale raise the tail. Simple. Hopefully.

[angelpuns]

lil hater Leo thinkin thoughts

Lil Hater Masterpost

[whisperingwinters]

💦 You're worried that friendball-irl won't accept you.

Hhaha…

You aren’t wrong…

My father and mother thought I was a monster, even before I lost my soul and started to spiral, so why would someone as nice as Gray want me?

I mean, I guess I have powerful Pokémon, and can be a scapegoat if anything happens…

Still, even if they don’t truly love me, that doesn’t mean I can’t pretend, right…?

It’s fine! I mean, I’ve been abandoned so many times before, why would this be different?!

What if they only want me because I’m entertaining, and when I stop being entertaining they’ll drop me like everyone else!

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

Jesus why haven't you killed yourself

there is something deeply wrong with you if you can say this to another human being.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

it seems impossible

[lxvenderhxzehv]

Amber felt it all rush forward into her chest "I am...I am fine I'm-" and there they were. The tears, his hands in his pockets she was pushing him and away he was shutting her out "I don't care what Louis dose....I don't care about them right now" she took a step forward and looked up at him "I'm not enough for you, I never will be. That's fine you need your sister I get It I understand that....but please don't stop me from numbing that pain...please Noah I can't-" her lip was trembling "I can't stand that fact that I'm a failure."

Noah let out a breath, his heart sinking in his chest with how she just snapped away from him. There wasn’t anything more sobering than this. “You’re not fine. You’re not fine at all,” he said, stuffing his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t try to touch her again. “You get another drink and I’m telling your brother and walking away.” He didn’t have that, the ability to have some family come and look after him but in her case— having her brother come seemed like the best option if she was pissed at him. “I mean it, Amber.”

[phleb0tomist]

people love telling me not to isolate myself when I’m having a crisis- reach out, don’t hide, etc- and while that’s a lovely sentiment, a lot of people don’t seem to understand what it entails in practice? like they truly don’t seem to have considered that me being open during my mental health crisis will mean them actually Seeing and Hearing small parts of that crisis.

“don’t hide yourself” seems to come with a secret caveat of “but don’t be unpalatable either”. often my openness leads not to support but to an ethics debate about whether it was condemnable of me to let my struggle be slightly visible. interesting. when i wear short sleeves or make casual mention of the long-term aftermath of my self injury, it’s somehow perceived as me saying “self injury is awesome! i think the whole world should do it!” instead of being perceived as me living exactly as i always have, just hiding a little less, bringing you into my world a tiny bit, like you asked. healed scars are the only ones i allow to be seen, i cover up healing injuries and i don’t talk about methods or anything overly specific or sensational. i openly discuss harm reduction measures & therapeutic strategies. but somehow ppl still disapprove of the snippets they see when i reach out.

if you want people to reach out during crisis you have to accept that theres no way for a person to make themselves palatable while theyre showing you their severe mental illness lmao. they’re not going to provide you constant caveats while sharing their feelings like “ive been having trouble coping so i fell back on self injury. but i don’t condone it! YOU shouldn’t do it and I condemn myself for having done it btw! I will never forgive myself for this expression of mental illness, i’m so sorry I revealed it to you.”

this post might be a vent I can’t rly tell. open to conversation if anyone has any similar experiences 👍