#tw: sa mention?

[cerealbishh]

"The only thing I want my daughter to have to put up with is extreme professionalism! Yes, I could've chosen a different client. I could have chosen a more perfect client. But I want this win on the books because Alex is messy. And I want my daughter to be able to be messy."

[fellshish]

The different and sometimes tiring types of reactions to the neil gaiman allegations

- ‘neil didn’t write good omens’ (he did and we simply have to learn to separate art from artist)

- ‘how dare you think about anything else but the victims’ (people can care about multiple things at once + these allegations have been known for months and months?? some of us have processed this)

- ‘how do david/michael/etc feel about this’ (it’s none of our business)

- ‘donate to victims of sa’ (sure if you can)

- ‘bdsm is fine WITH consent’ (it is)

- ‘everyone is innocent until proven guilty and i refuse to condemn him’ (go read the article / enjoy being blocked by me)

- ‘his writing was always Problematic’ (learn to separate art from real life victims of sexual abuse please)

- ‘his writing can still mean a lot to you without you being a bad person’ (yes. just try to avoid giving him money maybe)

- ‘it’s just terf propaganda’ (it really really isn’t. and fuck terfs)

- ‘reminder to prioritise your own mental health, step away from online spaces if you need to, and: you have no obligation to read the entire article if it’s too triggering’ (true. you’re still a good person i promise)

[drunkwithmouthwash]

Did you notice Jim went quiet for a second when Daisuke said that? Motherfucker saw his life flash before his eyes.

[anendtopursuit]

not to gush too much abt neil newbon's performance as astarion (and stephen rooney's writing for him) but like. he's discussed on streams before how conscious the decision to make him feel like he's constantly performing is (regardless of outcome; theatrical spawn astarion & operatic ascended astarion), and how stephen rooney leaned more into the whimsy and fun of the character based on things he saw in his portrayal (hence astarion progressively getting funnier and more charismatic through game development). but the thing that drives me absolutely mad tbh is the moments where all of it drops and he's suddenly so sincere, because it hits you like a truck to the face.

his voice going all soft and quiet and brittle when he describes cazador instructing his spawn to torture themselves. his mannerisms shifting from seductive and playful to a little more nervous. but the one that always gets me is in the graveyard romance scene, talking about what cazador has taken from him, how it was taken by force; "but he did take it," in this voice that's so full of sorrow that it almost sounds hollow, muffled by none of his usual pomp and theatricality, when even in cazador's palace his admissions of upset were sandwiched between attempts to brush it all off. dear god.

[cupcakeslushie]

Recovering your autonomy vs Completely cutting yourself off from your support system. FIGHT!

This happens sometime after the ongoing Kendra reunion comic, but not far enough along that the brothers have figured out how to navigate certain landmines.

Donnie is still re-adjusting to communicating his needs in a confident manner. Sometimes he gets a little too worked up, and lets the panic take over. He regrets the yelling later.

…The next morning

[usercelestial]

"omg he would never" "no he's a good guy though" "why haven't these women come forward before" "well she's known for being a liar so" "yeah but have you seen the things she used to tweet"

∆ trans women are women, trans men are men, and if you are transphobic, you are not a feminist, this post is not about "Male Violence" or how men are "inherently violent" this post is about people who do not truly have feminist beliefs and people who will do anything to protect cis white men from criticism while attacking any woman who comes out against him. at the core of this instinct is the automatic disgust + hatred people have towards women, even other women themselves. your favorite man is not protected from being a perpetrator of violence against women, your least favorite woman does not deserve said violence ∆

[threewaywithdelusion]

I wish more people liked Canon Nicky. Like yeah, he sucks a little bit, but that’s the point.

All the Foxes suck a little bit. They’re not perfect victims, they use slurs, they do bad things to each other. Seth’s a selfish homophobic asshole, but he saves Allison. Kevin’s a one-track-minded alcoholic who hears his teammate died and wonders how the team will keep playing, but he also gives Andrew a chance before anyone else does. Wymack’s lucky they didn’t have cancel culture in 2006, because some of the things he says are horrifically not PC. But he’s not some perfect savior of a coach. He’s a guy with a terrible past who decided to make it his life’s mission to help troubled kids. And if he gets it wrong sometime, it’s because absolutely no one in these books is 100% mentally well and they’re definitely not coming across mental health tips on TikTok or reading books about how to do better.

Nicky is terrible at boundaries and consent. It’s probably a trauma response to his upbringing and conversion therapy, but that doesn’t make it okay. He makes creepy comments all the time and he assaults Neil in Columbia.

I’m not excusing any of that. But Nicky isn’t only that, and that’s why he’s interesting.

He’s the one who texts Neil a million times a day, until Neil stops looking frightened every time his phone beeps. He gave up Erik and Germany to raise two angry teenagers who never reciprocated his affection. He had a relatively normal upbringing (religious trauma aside) and then got thrown into dealing with the twins and having to navigate 1) Andrew locking Aaron in the bathroom to get clean (is he being a good or bad guardian by letting that happen?) 2) working two jobs to pay for the house 3) Andrew being arrested 4) Andrew being put on meds that made him manic and unreliable 5) Aaron’s homophobia 6) Andrew’s violent threats and so much more.

When exactly did he find out Andrew had killed Tilda? Which of the twins told him? And did he ever wonder if Andrew would kill his newest guardian if Nicky messed up?

Nicky is incredibly selfless, brave, and patient. And he’s also pushy, kinda creepy, and incapable of understanding boundaries. He’s both. And I wish the fandom wouldn’t sanitise him, because I think that’s part of the point.

[a-heart-of-kyber]

*slaps table*

Listen!

There is something super sweet and healing and hopeful about Gale, "I was groomed and still don't realize it and had 'sex' with the Goddess of Magic via mental/spiritual/astral projection regularly. Also, I'm kind of addicted to magic." Deciding to approach you first to flirt with "You being all sweaty after battle is so fucking hot."

Because it's Real. It's physical. Yeah, it's horny, but it's the realization that the mortal realm can be equal to the godly one, if not superior, despite it being different. Like, he's not Losing something by not being with a God and he can heal.

[goodluckdetective]

If you’re reaction to this Neil Gaiman stuff is to crow how “I always hated his work” or “I knew he had bad vibes” I want you to stop, and understand what I hear, which is “they deserved it”

“But no” you say! That wasn’t what you meant. You just wanted to-

What? Talk about how you always knew better? That you were above falling for the act? That you always knew something was off? You are good enough to know evil when you see it?

Cool. So they were too stupid to know better? That they fell for the act? That they should have known something was off like you? That they weren’t good enough to spot this coming?

“That’s not what I meant! I meant his fans!”

Some of his fans were his victims. So only they deserved it?

“Not his fans who were his victims but his annoying fans-“

That’s what you’re getting from this? That you can finally brag to those annoying fans about how stupid they were for liking his work because…. a monstrous level of abuse happened. Glad you’re enjoying putting those fans in their place with….a bunch of horrific sex crimes.

Anyway, people who are making this about Gaiman’s work or his characters have lost the plot, I agree there. But people making this about how smart they were, how they knew better?

Think about what you’re actually saying and maybe shut the fuck up.

[wolfertinger666]

fuck it, my black trans guy experience has been:

other trans people(especially fellow trans men) invalidating my identity because I don't conform to gender norms or whatever bullshit cope they can think of

being fetishized constantly cuz I present fem. even in conversations that aren't even sex related. been told I'm "an easy cheat for straight people" or a heavy fixation on my breast

seeing queers who are white benefit from including black queers in their talking points but in some ways excluding us or tokenizing us.

oh yeah and the extreme transphobes misgendering me and threatening me with corrective SA

but I've also had positive experiences such as inspiring other trans and even cis folks to stay true to themselves and basically express themselves however they want. i like being myself but it sure is scary sometimes.

[abyssal-ilk]

playing as a tabris warden and especially playing as a fem tabris warden is just a constant over and over gut punch. you're getting married but then you, your cousin, and several other women from your alienage are kidnapped during your wedding by the arl's son. you slaughter your way out of it to save your cousin and the other women, but there isn't a victory in it— you know there will be retribution for killing a palace full of guards and several nobles even though you were defending yourself and your kin. you're forced to leave your home and join the grey wardens without being given even a single night to recover. you know there will be a purge. you don't know if you'll ever see your family again.

you're taken to ostagar where you are the only woman amongst the grey wardens, and not only that, you are the only elf among them. you remember nessa, the girl in your alienage who was afraid of leaving because she feared what the soldiers would do to her after going so long without seeing a woman. your status as an elf and a woman are constantly remarked upon. you have no choice but to stay. you are fed darkspawn blood by duncan; the blood kills one man while he slaughters the other in front of you. you are supposed to feel grateful to have survived this.

and even later when you seek help from the dalish, what do you learn from zathrian? the same injustices that were inflicted upon you have been repeated over and over for centuries. what do you learn when you seek help from the mages? templars lurk in every corner, always watching, driving mages to the same violence you yourself committed. what do you learn in orzammar? to be a castless woman is to be not considered a person, who's only worth is the children she can bear for the same nobles who keep the castless subjugated. to be chosen by a noble is supposed to be an honor. why does this feel familiar?

AND THEN. what do you learn from the deep roads? darkspawn in all of their corruption are no different; you learn of the broodmothers. it is the same everywhere, no matter where you look. nothing changes. even your other party members, leliana and zevran, have their own stories. and you don't have another choice but to keep pushing on.

[quasi-normalcy]

Just struck by the fact that, in 2018, climate scientists posted a dire warning that the Earth had just twelve years to cut greenhouse gas emissions to avoid catastrophic global heating. There were protests; demonstrations. We have now breezed through more than half of that time, with nothing to show for it but millions of more tonnes of CO2 wasted on crypto mining and AI scams. The world nears the sixth mass extinction in its entire geological history and oil production is near record highs.

Struck also by the fact that, in 2020, there were mass protests against police murders of Black people; like, mass mass protests. "Defund the police" they said. "Abolish the police." Police budgets are up. Black people still get murdered by the cops en masse.

And then, this past year, there were massive protests against the genocide in Gaza. There were occupations of university campuses, there were protests outside of the institutions that enabled the mass murder in Palestine. Macklemore did a song about it, a good one. And the genocide continues apace.

On issue after issue, you can see the same pattern. Surely the massacre of children at Sandy Hook would drive sensible gun laws! Nope. Surely outrage over the Rana Plaza collapse in Bangladesh would drive changes in labour practices! Nope. Surely the #Occupy protests in 2011 would drive wealth redistribution! Nope. Surely the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico would drive better environmental regulations. Nope. Surely the 2008 financial crash would drive regulation of the stock market. Nope. Surely the record protests against the US Invasion of Iraq would move the needle, even a little bit. Nope. Over and over and over again, we see the capitalist elite (let us be frank) raping the world, over and over and over again, we see mass outpourings of rage and disgust in the streets, and over and over and over again, we see them shrug it off, fuck their mistresses, and go golfing.

And then, some guy who may or may not be named Luigi goes and shoots an insurance CEO to death. And suddenly they can't shrug this off. Some companies back down on their plans to make health insurance in the USA even worse; we're treated to panicked editorials in elite publications talking about how celebration of the murder showcases our culture of moral decay (as if this isn't a society that has been either denying or actively celebrating the most well documented genocide in history for the last 15 months; as if there aren't near daily shootings in American schools, occurring so often that they barely even make the news anymore; as if the dead CEO hadn't presided over a company that spread misery and death for the millions as a matter of business as usual); companies beef up security, hide the names of their CEOs. There is, in short, an actual response (though it remains to be seen how it will play out in the long run, but still an actual response). Decades of mass, peaceful protest, and they just ignore it. One guy with a gun, and suddenly it's the end of the fucking world.

What lesson are we supposed to draw from this?

[fellshish]

i can’t help but notice that a lot of the people who are trying to tell us what to do and what to feel clearly weren’t here when the neil gaiman allegations actually came out (spring last year). a lot of them aren’t even in our fandom. like is this just a moral outrage competition? purity posting for notes?

a lot of us have already processed the allegations (we’ve had months) and are in full support of the victims. and yes, we are also still in fandom. we’ve tried to get him fired, we’ve lived through near-cancellation, we’ve donated to victims of sa. we’ve also been sharing our fics and art and gifs and headcanons.

if you don’t think you can be in a fandom with a cancelled creator as ethically as possible (making sure not to support the creator financially) then don’t be in one.

to all the others: i’ll still be here as long as it’s my hyperfixation. sharing your fics and art and gifs and headcanons. 🤝

[ahotpeaceofshit]

[shamebats]

If you only ever mention trans mascs & men in relation to misogyny when you want to talk about how we're capable of being misogynistic (which wow you've discovered that afab people can be sexist? good job, I learned that at like 11 probably but I'm glad you got there eventually) and never in terms of how we're affected & harmed by it, how it puts us at risk of being sexually abused & exploited by family members, partners & in workplaces, forcefully detransitioned, forced into unwanted pregnancies, murdered etc, then I don't trust you and don't consider you an ally to trans people btw

[omgitskangel]

“but male creatives shoving sexual assault into everything they touch is good bc-“

grabbing you by the shoulders so hard rn

They don’t do it bc they care about us! They do it bc they jerk off to it! That’s how they see us and what happened to us, as jerk off fuel!

I do not feel seen when I watch/play through that shit! I feel like a toy, an object! and no amount of speaking over me and fellow survivors will change that!