#tw: possible assault

[babygirl-diaz]

Buck: *kisses Eddie's forehead* Buck: *freezes* Hen: Did you just... kiss his forehead? Buck: *nervously* Yeah, it's a new thing I am trying where I kiss everyone's foreheads when they do a good job. Buck: *grabs Chim and plants a kiss on his forehead* Great job cleaning the engines, Chim! Buck: *grabs Hen's face before she can react and plants a kiss on her forehead* Great job organizing the supply closets, Hen! Hen: *Swats at him* Get away from me! Buck: *makes a move on Bobby* Bobby: You even try to kiss me and I will fire you! Buck: Noted

[dykedvonte]

Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.

Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.

They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.

I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.

[musical-chick-13]

The thing is, when OCD Brain™ goes "morality is complicated" it's not exactly from the standpoint of "I have no idea what the concepts of Good and Bad are." It's more, "I know what my values are, what I consider the concept of 'Good' to be, but I perceive so many things as being antithetical to that concept of 'Good', and I don't know how to sort the Actually Antithetical ones from the Stuff My Brain Worries About Unnecessarily ones, so I spend my life trying to atone both for mistakes I HAVE actually made and for things that no one other than me would consider a 'mistake' in the first place."

Because it's better to be sure, right? If there's anything that could be interpreted as malicious or harmful or selfish or Not Doing Enough (regardless of how much you would have to stretch the definitions of those words to make that actually be true), then better counteract and avoid and whatever-else all of those potential things.

An example of this I usually use when trying to explain all this is the discussion regarding alcohol and consent. All of the people I've met who have this illness (including me), understand that, if someone is under the influence, they cannot actually consent to something--an agreement, a contract, a sexual encounter. If someone is drunk and, therefore, does not actually have full possession of themselves and their mental faculties, something they say or do that might seem like an expression of consent cannot be taken as one. Because, due to those outside circumstances (i.e. the aforementioned "Not Truly Having Self-Possession" and "Something directly interfering with someone's ability to make decisions") consent cannot be considered freely given. Very few people are going to dispute this.

Where OCD might (and frequently does) come in is that many other, not-OCD-having people will, for example, mention going out to a bar and sharing a drink with someone before hooking up with them. Or discussing things during a business dinner where there might be a glass of wine involved. True, these people may not be drunk, but the way alcohol affects the human body is going to be different for every person. Some people might be affected by a little amount of alcohol, even if they don't realize it. Some people have a very low tolerance for it, and there's not really any way for you to know for sure. This is further complicated by the fact that alcohol might stay in your system for a little while. How long does it take for the effects to wear off and you aren't in that state of vulnerability anymore? Again, that will be different for every person, and you have no way of knowing this.

For someone with OCD, the way around these questions might become, "Don't accept any kind of agreement at all (to a contract, to a business arrangement, to sex) from someone if any alcohol has been involved in any way during the hours leading up to that agreement." But if someone lives their life by this particular rule, plenty of people (if not most of them) are going to say they're being over-worried or ridiculous or silly or stupid. Some form of "you're overreacting" (or, in particularly unfortunate cases, "you're crazy/inhuman/authoritarian") will usually be the response from people who don't suffer from this illness. And you don't know why that's the response. You don't know why people don't agree with you. (And in this particular case, I still don't. It's been 30 years, and I still genuinely do not understand why this is the reaction I get.)

And it can be like this in every case. We know germs are bad and that you should be cautious in how you handle them, so people don't get sick. Better make sure to clean everything [a specific overly-complicated way, an inordinate number of times, for a really long amount of time]. You should take responsibility when you hurt people, so why not apologize for everything you do, just to make sure.

Children are a particularly vulnerable and disenfranchised group of people, so why not go out of your way to avoid them, to make absolutely sure you don't make their struggles worse? (<-I'm actually wondering if the recent uptick in "There's no reason for an adult to talk to a child/teenager they aren't related to or teaching" discussion is coming from.)

Obviously abuse is bad, so to make sure you don't do that, you need to punish yourself/do compulsions to atone if you ever so much snap at someone out of irritation or have an argument with them. After all, one mistake could pave the way for more. The only way to be absolutely sure you don't turn into a bad person is to never do anything bad, or erase the times when you do make mistakes. Wishing violence on someone and actively wanting to hurt them is bad, so if you get intrusive thoughts about that (even if you. you know. don't want those thoughts. because they're intrusive.), then you need to do everything you can at all times to make sure that doesn't somehow develop into actually hurting someone. Bad patterns of thought can inspire bad patterns of actions!

(And plenty of people don't even understand the nuances of that last one because we are living in a time where so many people genuinely believe that thoughtcrime is a real thing.)

It's not that OCD erodes your moral code or makes it impossible to have one. It's that it tells you all of these things, many of which you cannot possibly sustain, are necessary actions to uphold that moral code. It's that you know what "bad" is, but you interpret most or all of the things you could ever do as contributing to the "bad." And if this illness is convinced that every single action you take is "bad," then that means there is no realistic way to actually be "good."

[uncanny-tranny]

Do you think that terfs will calm down with hating on trans women once womb transplants are a thing? Because their whole argument is that "trans women aren't women because no womb uwu"

No, because that frankly isn't their whole argument. They don't argue against trans women solely because "no womb," and if womb transplants were a viable and safe measure, that would absolutely not be a good argument to calm their grievances - a transphobe doesn't deal in a genuine care for others, it a disgust response.

Transphobes already have issues with trans women getting FFS, vaginas, and hell, they even have issues with trans women being fem (or masc), even if they say, "we're okay with gender nonconformity!" as a cover. Because, again, it is a disgust response that blooms in response to their own transohobia, it isn't about being able to debate them, really.

Additionally, with my experience of dealing with that kind of extreme reactionary transphobe, they don't fucking care if they're wrong. Like, do you know how many times I've talked to a TERF who tells me I only transition because of misogyny, only to then talk in circles once I say, "misogyny against me had only increased since I have transitioned to male, plus, I never faced misogyny before I transitioned," because again, it isn't about the trans people themselves per se, it's about this viseral disgust response. It is them trying to reason with their discomfort with hatred. That isn't going to go away when trans care expands or becomes even more advanced.

I really want to stress how important it is to not whittle their whole argument down to "[trans women*] don't have wombs," because you will end up missing a lot of trans people who are affected by this type of extreme reactionary transphobia.

[undead-supernova]

Love to see someone use my comfort characters to live out their rape fantasies and then cry the “anti-queer censorship” wolf.

News flash? Rape isn’t hot.

[bobby-singers-daughter]

This is a Trigger Warning for anyone wanting to read Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon.

In the first chapter of this book there is a very graphic rape scene... Idk exactly how long it was because I was listening to the audiobook and ended up completely frozen and wasn't in my body anymore until it was over.

I decided to give this book a try because it was all over booktok and everyone said it was amazing... Not one person gave a warning for what I perceived as a violent and exceptionally long sexual assault so I'm giving one.

Don't get me wrong, I read a lot of spicy books and fanfiction and I'd like to see what the rest of this book is like but I'm too scared to run into another scene like that so if anyone who has read it could tell me if there are anymore dubcon or noncon scenes in it, I'd really appreciate it.

[battling-my-demons]

I love and hate watching/ listening to stories about r*pe and sexual assault. I love them for getting justice and closure for the victims. For the victims to get their voices heard and being seen. I hate them for bringing up memories and feeling everything just like I felt when it happened to me. It's like a time machine that transported me right back there. Being frozen in time and thawed again. Only that when I'm back there, I am frozen in place and trembling. I hate that I never got to tell my story. I hate that my assaulter is roaming around and is happy and free. I hate that I never got to call myself a victim because for many years after it happened, I didn't even know it was an assault. I hate that I wasn't protected. I hate that I never got my closure. I hate that he made me feel special and then made me feel even worse about myself after.. for years after. Made my already hellish life more hellish. Made school even more torturous. I hate most of all that he took my already damaged trust and made it impossible to trust any look. I can't even trust a touch. Most of all, I can't trust any intentions. I hate that he laughed in my face and told me straight up no one would believe me. I knew he was right. I hate how I'm stuck and he's free and probably out there doing the same to another innocent girl. Why did no one protect me?!

[gayanimebitches]

somehow i always manage to catch up on ongoing manga series when its currently at the worst possible spot to pause on and have to wait for a new chapter

[kingproteus]

Excerpt from the article—

[image ID: text saying “ “his wife was outside the room with the children,” freed hostage Mia Schem said during a newly released interview on Israeli TV. “That’s the only reason he didn’t rape me,” End Image ID]

Clickbait article type headline. The reason he did not rape her, according to the escaped hostage, is social pressure from his family.

She also alleges she was tortured, starved and beaten so the article’s focus on that one point raised warning flags for people. It is widely reported that assault was committed by many assumed-Palestinian, assumed-Hamas affiliated individuals on October 7th. According to the NYT, video evidence exists. Which seems pretty foolproof to me.

It is also true, though, that some instances of sexual assault alleged have been proven false or misleading. (This reuters article comes to mind) But many women have came forward to speak about the rape they suffered on Oct 7th.

Many believe the Israeli Government is using those crimes to further racism towards Palestinians, and to justify their many many war crimes against the Palestinian people. An idea follows that there would be existing social pressure within the far-right portion of Israeli society to allege assault where there was none.

From what I’ve seen, pro-Israeli people argue an idea like “IF we can accept there was sexual assault committed on Oct 7th, THEN the crimes committed against the Palestinian people, Israeli captives, and American citizens, just to name a few, would be acceptable. “

I argue that sticking to the idea that all alleged assaults were false is accepting the logic of pro-Israeli individuals.

It’s not right or important to go after individual Israeli women who allege victimhood. All allegations could be true. All of them could be fake. It wouldn’t change the facts.

No amount of rape of Israeli people would justify their government’s crimes. It would not justify the murder of Hind Rajab. The carpet bombings, the use of white phosphorus. The targeting of medical centers, ambulances. The kidnappings, the murders, the 28,000 dead. The 2.3 million hungry.

(Also, to head things off at the pass,

I am forever and always pro Palestine. Forever and always. )

They are clinging so desperately to their disproven atrocity propaganda.

Keep shaming and exposing these genocidal lairs.

[musical-chick-13]

Wow, area woman complains about Weird Cultural Judgment Around How People Approach Sex In Fiction again. I'm sure everyone is tired of this! Not least of all me!! But here we are anyway!!!!!

Minors do not interact with this post, I mean it.

I am BEGGING y'all to just let the rest of us live. Lmao.

(I mean, maybe these people would tell me my kink negotiation dialogue sounds natural, and not BDSM-manual-esque, but I doubt it. Most people who say things like this think it's bad if you include any sort of discussion or safe sex practices at all.)

How many times do I have to reiterate that it is fun for some people to figure out what individual characters' boundaries are and how characters would communicate in a given situation. How many times do I have to reiterate that the point is not always to be "hot."

No offense, but I'm here to examine a fictional relationship I find interesting, I do not fucking care whether you find my writing "hot" or not. The kink directly interacts with trauma--notably not a very appealing topic! It's also a way of digging into one of the character's guilt in a heightened way that I might not have been able to otherwise. This kink negotiation is not supposed to be hot, that is so incredibly far from the intention here. I actually, no joke, considered not even making this story explicit and skipping the sex scene. That is how significant the other moving parts in this thing are.

Also, I think we just need to get used to the fact that sex is not always going to be an Amazing Experience™. Sometimes it just...is. It exists. Sometimes it's awkward or silly or weird or unsatisfying or underwhelming or unexpectedly overwhelming or any number of things that aren't an idealized version of this. Not that there's anything wrong with writing idealized sex!! But we hardly have. Any examples. Of a sex scene being mediocre or unsatisfying or strange/off-the-wall without those things being seen as some kind of moral or personal judgment. We need ways to make that evident. Again, we are still putting sex on a pedestal, even if the reasons for doing it are different than the usual purity-obsession fare. And I think that elevation is unhelpful at best.

I'm sorry to break it to y'all (I'm not), but being "good at sex" is not the holy grail of skills or the sole universal key to happiness. There's no way to universally be "good at sex" anyway because every person is different. And different people have. Different preferences. And you know how you discover those preferences so everyone involved has a good time?

You fucking communicate.

Yes, I know that people get caught up in presenting the sex in their stories as The Good Kind That's Acceptable and Right™ (and thus sometimes awkwardly shoehorning in things that haven't been set up by the story or beating you over the head with the fact that I'm Not Problematic I Swear), but for the love of our collective remaining braincells, use some nuance here. Not everything is meant to be titillating! Characters talking about shit is usually meant to tell you something about who they are!!! If you aren't interested in that, there's plenty of erotica out there for you to read, you really can just go find something else.

Also, lmao, the idea of an After School Special about. CNC. A hard kink that's an offshoot of BDSM. Please do not make After School Specials about this.

And, absolutely, yeah, it's nice if someone finds your explicit material appealing, I'm not going to say that those comments are meaningless or give no kind of affirmation at all, or that they're not really nice surprises to find in my inbox. But JESUS FUCKING CHRIST am I tired of this idea that something is meaningless if it's not ✨sexy.✨ You get told you're worthless and inherently unlikable because you're not conventionally attractive, you get told you'll be alone for the rest of your life with no support if you can't "offer" some sort of physical prettiness, you get told (if you were in the entertainment industry like I used to be) that you'll never get a stable job if you don't meet some standard of societally-approved "hotness", like we really do not need to be putting this much stock in how ✨sexy✨ or titillating something is.

With all due respect. If you can't find an example of niche erotica that you like. You are not going to die. That's a relatively minor (if frustrating) inconvenience. Use your imagination. Or write something yourself. If you don't find a story "hot" then just. Get over it? It'll be okay, you won't disintegrate.

If it's not the creator's job to reflect reality (which I agree, it's not), then it's not the creator's job to cater to what you or anybody else or general society (or any subsection of it) wants. I don't know what it's going to take to get it through everyone's heads that artists making general art for public viewing don't actually owe you anything!

I'm also thinking about that one post I saw that said, "If characters are literally in the middle of sex, don't ever have one of them ask for consent clarification again, it's a mood-killer." But, again, this axiom assumes that the point of a sex scene is always to be "hot." Randomly asking for consent at a "non-sexy" point can in and of itself be a characterization choice. For example, if one of the people involved was at some point an assault victim, they might be oversensitive to the other person's boundaries and want to make sure (at inopportune times, because surprise, surprise, people do things that aren't perfect sometimes) that they aren't somehow doing to someone else what was done to them. There are certain types of OCD that fixate specifically on being a predator or other kind of danger in a sexual context, and I could absolutely see a character with this type of OCD doing this extra clarification of consent as a compulsion. If someone is unlearning shame from an unhealthy church background, it could come out as a nervous outburst. All of these are things I came up with off the top of my head that might justify a character acting this way, I just don't think absolutes in writing advice are helpful!!!

Genuinely what are you hoping to accomplish here!!!!!!!!!

Idk. Not reading things you don't like is free. Being nice to people and giving them a minuscule degree of grace is also free. I'm tired.

[sisterjaniswilde]

warm reminder to people who have been assaulted / experienced sa trauma in any way: it's okay if you still want to have sex. it's okay if you're not sex repulsed after the fact. it's okay if you still feel attracted to people like your abuser. it's okay if you develop a fetish around something related to the event. it's actually a pretty normal reaction. it's okay to get back up, dust yourself off, and try again for a healthy, fulfilling experience. you aren't broken. the love / experience you're seeking is real and it's out there. you aren't crazy or over reacting. you don't have to give up. resilience and healing is an option. please please please take care and be kind to yourself.

[abysmalklown]

hey guys just told my mom abt the dude who sexually harassed me.

not doin well