#tw: birth trauma

[rosiehoney]

I was happy in January of 2020

And we got a home to move to

And I got pregnant

And I got HG and was trapped in bed, and afraid

And I got PGP and couldn’t walk much at all

And the birth was 30+ hours labour

It was an emergency assisted delivery

And my son wasn’t breathing when he was born

And I haemorrhaged

And we spent a week in hospital

And I developed PTSD

And post partum everything

And my body wouldn’t heal

And the flashbacks wouldn’t stop

And I stopped working to raise a baby

And I started again while still being a full time stay at home parent

And my mother in law became a huge support

But then she got sicker and she died

And then I grieved harder than I expected

And my husband and I stopped talking much

And work kept drying up

And no one seemed to hear it

And no friends came knocking

And everyone seemed to disappear

And the loneliness and the fear became the entire thing

Every waking moment

And when I write it in a list like this I can forgive myself the unhealthy habits and the crying

Because of course I am tired and lonely and scared

[deliver-the-light]

Oh my goddddddddddd 😭 somebody sedate me

tw: discussion of infertility/child loss

Doing some timeline stuff and trying to figure out everyone’s ages made me realize how odd it is that Henry/Nerissa are so much older than Luxa.

Which lead me to think about courting/marriage/childbearing customs in Regalian culture, especially in regards to the royal family. Which made me realize that Luxa’s parents probably were married and trying for heirs before the kings younger brother (Henry’s father) would be starting his family.

So why are Luxa’s cousins years older than her? It also doesn’t make sense that her parents would have only had one heir. It’s very common to make a few spares (even in peace times). They didn’t die until AFTER Gregor’s father fell. Luxa would have been somewhere between 9-10 years old. The fact that she doesn’t have siblings is very telling.

Luxa’s parents struggled with fertility issues for at least 5 years before her birth and for about 10 after. That’s why Luxa’s name doesn’t match her family’s tradition of naming children after Shakespearean references. She IS their Lux, their light.

I am not okay.

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

No but is anyone else thinking about how Anthony feels when Kate gets pregnant?

Because he's elated, of course he is, he's been participating in heir-making activities quite enthusiastically, and of course he loves that baby from the moment he learns of its existence because it's theirs, his and Kate's

But, the last time he saw a woman give birth, it was when Hyacinth was born and his mother nearly died from complications during the birth and a surgeon was asking him to choose whether he wanted to save his mother or the baby all the while he was still shrouded in a haze of grief after losing his father in front of his eyes and having the responsibility of the entire viscountcy thrust upon him

Because it's all I can think about, especially when I think about his utter terror when Kate was stung by a bee and how he blamed himself for Kate falling of her horse when that wasn't even on him?

Can you imagine how utterly terrified he must be about things going wrong?

[mingot-studios]

Am I the only who gets kinda triggered when Ginny, Bonney, and Kuma get portrayed as a happy loving family?

Not that I don't WANT them to be happy, but the problem I have is that it completely ignores the fact that Bonney is a RAPE BABY.

It reduces Ginny to just being a mother to Bonney, and wife to Kuma. WHile ignoring the fact that Bonney was FORCED UPON HER AGAINST HER WILL. No one wants to address the trauma that would have on Ginny because they don't want to acknowledge the grim reality of the situation in favor of they so-called "nothing-bad-happens-au". (Which is ironic, considering that Ginny HAS to be captured and RAPED in order for Bonney to exist at all)

RAPE IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE BRUSHED UNDER THE FUCKING RUG. IF YOU DO ANY AU WHERE GINNY SURVIVES YOU BETTER FUCKING ADDRESS, YOU SICK FUCKS!!

[compassionatereminders]

opinion—when someone says that they don’t want kids, people should shut the fuck up instead of bringing in the “you’ll change your mind when you’re married” bullshit. I’m sick of it and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s actually been traumatized by the whole conversation to the point of constant nightmares about forced pregnancy and childbirth. I don’t care if I wrote that I wanted kids in an essay when I was fourteen, that was seven years ago. Let people decide if they want children or not and then keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

Also, second opinion—raising your children to be baby machines and telling them they’re not allowed to use headaches as an excuse for something because they’ve “overused” that excuse, and that they’re not allowed to say “please, don’t “ is fucking weird and setting your kids up for shitty relationships.

excuse the swearing, i just needed to get that out. Thank you for your time and for what you do. I hope you have a lovely day.

Yes, pressuring people to have sex and then children regardless of whether they actually want to is horrible and needs to end now!

[choices-binglebonkus]

Trauma is only ever really portrayed in horror books. ILITW, ILB, BB, even NB to an extent all portray trauma in a relatively realistic and consistent manner.

Noah in MTFL was nearly murdered by a policeman yet still readily goes on a vacation with the man who sent the police after him in the first place.

The Endless Summer gang have experienced countless atrocities. Their families and friends all burned alive in lava. Quinn went into a coma and nearly died. Raj, Grace, and Diego were taken hostage by the Vaanti. The group was hunted down and nearly killed by the Arachnid. So much happened to them that just…didn’t traumatize them at all, apparently.

I honestly think Riley’s situation is the most ridiculous though, and I’ve posted about it before. She was assaulted by a known murderer who escaped and was on the loose in the palace, which then forced her into labor in the middle of a ball full of nobles and royalty alike. She was then stuck in labor for HOURS without ANY medical attention or an epidural, and then suffered from eclampsia which literally could have killed her. And then when the doctor finally got there, she had to give birth after hours of pain and high blood pressure STILL without any form of pain relief. And then (presumably after dealing with the afterbirth, which isn’t actually shown in the story) after she nearly DIED, she learns that her newborn infant’s future has just been signed away to save her life. And somehow she just…goes about her merry way without any trauma or complications or whatever.

Pixelberry probably didn’t portray any lasting trauma or complications because society doesn’t like talking about trauma surrounding birth and pregnancy. In the eyes of society, birth is always a beautiful, joyous miracle where all the bad, unhappy, icky stuff goes away once the baby is born. Because actually being realistic and informing people with uteri of all the trauma and complications they can face might force them into…*gasp* making an informed decision about deciding to have a child and how they’ll do it!

My biggest criticism with choices is that they have this mc go through something super traumatic and then they move on so fast!

How did Riley from the royal heir not have postpartum or any postpartum complications? She almost died giving birth!

Mc in open heart watched people and her friend almost die and she almost died and she had one chapter to deal with it and then moved on!

Like where’s the time to deal with a traumatic incident, instead everyone’s like oh no that’s so sad.. anyway!

[uncanny-tranny]

I would give up my immortal soul if it meant that journalists, publishers, writers, family, friends - just everybody - would stop with the whole trans person's chosen name followed by "formerly known as [unused or dead name]"

[homoquartz]

horror movie birth/rebirth was a touching story of lesbian motherhood tbqh

[goreyskeleton]

genuinely makes me sick to my stomach how she pretends to care about me but if I told her I self harm she wouldn’t be cornered in the slightest. She’d tell me it’s a sin and I’ll go to hell and I’m fucking crazy and overall she’ll just scream at me. Wanna know how I know this? Cuz it’s happened 3 years ago.

[pinkinsect]

do you think that ness could get a Little bit self conscious when reading fantasy novels in front of people. do you think that some people who know ness incorrectly clock him as Bearer Of Religious Trauma from that

[lilitophidian]

GET IT OUT OF ME.

GET IT THE F U C K OUT.

The banshee cries with dread.

In pain.

Rupture the link of sharing a body with a PARASITE.

FEASTING ON THE INSIDE.

A shrieking leech ripped open her canal. Tearing flesh separated portions in certain locations.

THEY'D BE ONE UNTIL REGENERATION.

A GAPING FUCKING HOLE.

She would scream in anguish as her own hands ripped at her pristine body. Tears contain poisonous acids and essential fluids.

Nobody was permitted to see her in such a state, including her beloved, who had placed this INSIDE OF HER.

SHE WANTED TO WRAP HER HANDS AROUND HIS THROAT AND STRANGLE HIM UNTIL HIS FACE WENT PURPLE.

CASTRATE THE DEVIL.

Growling, groaning upon the satin sheets as they were drenched in her disgusting grime. She experienced a sense of violation.

This was not beauty.

Beautiful life to be ripped from her as it wailed for the first time. Lungs full of breath, pleading for comfort.

Lilith could only conceal her face. Weeping will resonate across Hell's dominion. She curled into a fetal posture, similar to the wiggling newborn, and closed her eyes to catch her breath.

Sigil would emerge, her eyes glowing crimson as she debated devouring her infant. The crunch of exquisite tiny bones and the snap of the neck just cease the AWFUL NOISE.

No... No...Maintain your composure. This child was important to you.

Her hair is crimson, much more so than the liquid flowing forth between her legs. A remembrance of your past.

Soon, she would carefully prop herself up with twisted gestures to glance over her infant.

RAGE WILL CONSUME YOU.

The act of turning against oneself in order to protect the child. She would gradually separate her legs as they shook, making a powerful fist inside herself as her razor-sharp claws sank in to take control.

More cries followed as she moaned in misery. The fledging shrieked alongside her, determined never to remember such terror.

As the hand tugged lower, blood gushed out, covering everything. She would howl demonically and animalistically as she bared her teeth.

A moment of pause.

Let us not drown the kid in gore, even though it surged against her like floodgates. The spray soiled everything it came into contact with, even that small face that so closely resembled THAT FUCKER WHO IMPREGNATED HER.

As she wrenched the uterus away from its anatomy, she felt freedom in her palm. She would hold it aloft while a mild, dizzy feeling overtook her. One she had not felt in years since her back slammed cement on the Pentagram-painted ground.

Her snake-like eyes would look down upon fresh innocence, and she would snarl quietly... She stuffed her bits and pieces into her lips without hesitation. The meat was to be consumed mercilessly, as if a starving beast had not eaten in days, notwithstanding minor moans.

After such, she would be swallowed and linger down her throat. She would push her fingers back in to scratch and DIG INTO WHAT WAS LEFT.

I F E E L F U C K I N G R O T T E N

Least... She did not injure her baby, right?

[scarfacemarston]

Hey there! How’s your trip going? I have a question for you. What do you know about c-section procedures in the late 1800’s?

In my fanfic, my reader character is a doctor and I have an idea where she has to help a difficult baby delivery.

I was doing some research but someone closed all the windows I had open that I was reading. I know you bring a historical aspect to the fandom and I’m curious on your thoughts.

So, as you know by now, my trip is over. It went alright! It could have been so much worse. So, I actually studied pregnancy, childbirth and maternal and infant mortality extensively last year for the national park service. They wanted to know how to tell stories about the women who endured the process, so I'm a bit confident in my answer. C-Sections have actually been around since the Ancient Roman times, but were exceedingly rare to perform. They were seldomly used in the medieval times, but it almost always ended in the death of the mother, the baby or both. There were a few lucky instances in the 1700s of doctors able to perform the surgery successfully, but again, this was rare. It isn't until the late 19th century that C-sections were becoming more widely studied. However, your doctor oc will not be able to do a c-section. It is literally impossible at this point by "yourself" (meaning the reader.) C-sections were not the norm at this point because it was near guaranteed death for the mother. You only did it if you were fairly confident that the baby would survive and the mother gave her blessing - knowing she would die. The shock and blood loss were the main reasons if infection didn't take her later and too many doctors at the time did not know about hygienic practices. I have a doctor OC as well and he wouldn't be able to do it, either, so don't feel bad. Now, since this is fanfiction, you're of course free to do as you please, but your oc and my oc would not be able to perform a c-section. They would need advanced equipment and staff to assist as well as a reason to do so. By this I mean that not everyone was "allowed" a C-section. They were reserved for certain women. Strangely, it was mostly upper class women, but upper class women were also difficult in that if a doctor failed, there would be strong consequences. C-sections were not often taught in medical schools until late 1800s and even then, the uptake was slow because of the risks involved. By the early 1900s, this was becoming a more common practice. If your oc is a woman, she is not likely to receive this education. There were female doctors then, but the medical world was hesitant in educating women surgeons. (I have a pair of siblings, female and male that are doctors and that's something I've written about.) That doesn't mean she couldn't do it "back alley" style, though. So unless your OC has a team of doctors, lots of the latest tools and equipment and the advanced know-how, your OC is not going to be able to save the life of the mother and the baby. Perhaps the baby, but not both. I have sources if you'd like them, but it's heavy reading.

[nutcoffin]

Cow OC

Her name is LoveDeposit, a cow with parasites who dreams of having children.

Living oc since 2023 August 8

[pro-birth]

A great resource to share with grieving families, patients who want to inform themselves, or just as a general education tool when discussing healthcare.

[distractedpebble]

Turns out I can't take any birth control with estrogen because I got a migraine with aura so bad I couldn't see out of my left eye. I don't want to take Depo anymore because of the side effects. I tried an IUD but the insertion was one of the most painful things I've ever felt and my body rejected it. I don't want to try Nexplanon because I don't want an implant that I can't remove myself (another reason that I don't want Depo anymore).

I'm not on birth control for that reason, I'm on it because I possibly have endometriosis. And when I talked to my OB about getting diagnosed, she basically hand-waved it away and mentioned that we can go forward assuming I have it but fighting with insurance is tough. That was about 6 months ago. The nurse I talked to last week looked at me like she was confused when I said that because she said there's no reason with all my symptoms that insurance should deny letting me have the procedure to diagnose it.

My next appointment isn't for over a month, but now I need to deal with all the other stuff they didn't tell me about, including all the horrendous side effects of coming off the Depo shot. Not once did they tell me that I could get violently nauseous, have more migraines than usual, have hot flashes, feel weak, mood swings, and more.

And on top of that, I don't know when my periods will start again. It could be over a year from now but it could be this month, or in 6 months. And I don't know if I'm mentally prepared enough to deal with that physical pain again. The whole reason I tried the Depo shot to begin with was because in June of 2022 I almost had a mental breakdown because I was in so much pain so I figured it was time to try something.

I don't know, I guess I'm just pissed at the fact that I was never told side effects, I'm basically out of options, and I just feel like this is going to be an uphill battle to get any kind of help at all.

Oh and to add to all of this, I also just found out that endometriosis doesn't even meet the requirements to be a "disability," despite the fact that if that is what I have, it's literally debilitating for me, not only when I don't have my period but in between those times as well.

[fitzfunnymoments]

Okay it's official. I NEED to see a gynecologist but. The trauma™️