#tw: birth trauma

[rosiehoney]

I was happy in January of 2020

And we got a home to move to

And I got pregnant

And I got HG and was trapped in bed, and afraid

And I got PGP and couldn’t walk much at all

And the birth was 30+ hours labour

It was an emergency assisted delivery

And my son wasn’t breathing when he was born

And I haemorrhaged

And we spent a week in hospital

And I developed PTSD

And post partum everything

And my body wouldn’t heal

And the flashbacks wouldn’t stop

And I stopped working to raise a baby

And I started again while still being a full time stay at home parent

And my mother in law became a huge support

But then she got sicker and she died

And then I grieved harder than I expected

And my husband and I stopped talking much

And work kept drying up

And no one seemed to hear it

And no friends came knocking

And everyone seemed to disappear

And the loneliness and the fear became the entire thing

Every waking moment

And when I write it in a list like this I can forgive myself the unhealthy habits and the crying

Because of course I am tired and lonely and scared

[deliver-the-light]

Oh my goddddddddddd 😭 somebody sedate me

tw: discussion of infertility/child loss

Doing some timeline stuff and trying to figure out everyone’s ages made me realize how odd it is that Henry/Nerissa are so much older than Luxa.

Which lead me to think about courting/marriage/childbearing customs in Regalian culture, especially in regards to the royal family. Which made me realize that Luxa’s parents probably were married and trying for heirs before the kings younger brother (Henry’s father) would be starting his family.

So why are Luxa’s cousins years older than her? It also doesn’t make sense that her parents would have only had one heir. It’s very common to make a few spares (even in peace times). They didn’t die until AFTER Gregor’s father fell. Luxa would have been somewhere between 9-10 years old. The fact that she doesn’t have siblings is very telling.

Luxa’s parents struggled with fertility issues for at least 5 years before her birth and for about 10 after. That’s why Luxa’s name doesn’t match her family’s tradition of naming children after Shakespearean references. She IS their Lux, their light.

I am not okay.

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

No but is anyone else thinking about how Anthony feels when Kate gets pregnant?

Because he's elated, of course he is, he's been participating in heir-making activities quite enthusiastically, and of course he loves that baby from the moment he learns of its existence because it's theirs, his and Kate's

But, the last time he saw a woman give birth, it was when Hyacinth was born and his mother nearly died from complications during the birth and a surgeon was asking him to choose whether he wanted to save his mother or the baby all the while he was still shrouded in a haze of grief after losing his father in front of his eyes and having the responsibility of the entire viscountcy thrust upon him

Because it's all I can think about, especially when I think about his utter terror when Kate was stung by a bee and how he blamed himself for Kate falling of her horse when that wasn't even on him?

Can you imagine how utterly terrified he must be about things going wrong?

[truths33k3r4]

(Warnings for this chapter are at the bottom of the page to keep from giving away spoilers.)

CHAPTER 8 - Deceptive Answers

Don cringed as he thoroughly sprayed down the empty trash bin, acting as if the fragrant, lavender scent would banish the acrid stench back to the pits of hades from whence it came. After the third round of air freshener, he slowly backed away from the bin with a cautious frown.

He proceeded to spray it down four more times.

Why did it have to be vomit…

As he walked to the kitchen sink he gently pulled off his latex gloves, neatly folding and placing them on the counter as he began to run the tap. After years of learning about germs and how to abolish them, he knew well that it didn’t matter if you washed them with hot or cold water. But even with this knowledge, it still brought him a slight ping of delusional comfort envisioning the hot temp burning the germs right off his hands.

That’s definitely normal.

He didn’t care all that much for the gooey sensation of the soap when it first puddles in his palms, but with a few quick scrubs, the sticky texture expanded into soft peaks of foam. The warm water mixed with the luscious suds did wonders for his dry hands. Thanks to the colder weather beginning to creep into the city, his home’s air had been stripped of its moisture. As a result, the skin of his hands and ankles cracked like the barren grounds of a scalding desert.

In other words ew.

With the last stage of washing his hands complete, drying them and folding the washcloth over the railing near the sink, Don began the trek back to his office. As he neared the doorway of the brothers’ bedroom, he paused.

Just move quickly. No big deal. Just ‘ninja’ your way around. Get to your office without attracting any unnecessary attention. Orrrr getting involved in any more emotional drama… Easy.

With a quick inhale, and his face tightened with concentration, he slowly took one silent step after the next, continuing his way down the hall past the bedroom. As he crept, little pieces of whispered conversation fluttered past his ears.

“...Lotus, what are you talking about?” 

Don instantly recognized the soothing tones of his oldest brother.

��“You are free. You made it out. We saved you. Shhhh, it’s alright.”

Don’s brows creased together as he paused to figure out what had happened to spark such concerned words from Leo. Going by what he said, the eldest wasn’t referring to Lotus being sick. The word “free” especially intrigued him. He continued to stand frozen as he leaned closer to the doorway, his curiosity now overriding the mission to get to his office.

“N-no… No, They…They’ll never go away…” A small voice cried in muffled whimpers.

Don’s mind began to process Lotus’ words one at a time; Every vowel and every fluctuation were filed into neat shelves in his brain.

Who’s “they”? Going by how we found her, she must be referring to the scientists at the lab, right? But what does that have to do with her being sick? Did those physician abominations give her something to make her ill? 

“Who, Lotus? Who won’t go away?” Leo gently whispered over Lotus’ smothered sniffles.

Don leaned closer. No verbal answer was given to Leo’s question, the silence only being filled by the frantic shuffles of sheets being pulled back and forth. 

“I.. I don’t… I don’t want to talk about it. I c-can’t.” Lotus pleaded as her voice continued to crack and splinter under the weight of whatever was haunting her mind. “I just c-can’t.”

Don’s posture physically slumped as he listened to the fear-stricken shivers of Lotus’ voice. The way her words jittered and broke in shards sounded all too familiar to him. She was so scared, but there wasn’t anything physically present that would make her react that way.

That left whatever was plaguing her to be something lurking deeper. Don couldn’t help the defensive snarl that escaped his teeth.

It has to be nightmares… That’s the most reasonable explanation for such behavior.

He knew that well, being reminded every night of the horrors he and his twin were forced through. Even though they were home. Even though they were safe. Even though it made no sense that the past has such power over the present.

And now he sees he’s not the only one.

How long was she there?...  How long did she live under the microscope of Specter’s prying eyes?

Don failed to suppress a shudder through his body as he was forcefully pushed into his own memories of the nightmare laboratory. His hands instinctively rose to cling to his shoulders, rubbing them down in an attempt at comfort. He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, willing his mind to forget all those horrific memories that plagued him, but it was all for naught.

His twin’s screams echoed in a terrible chorus that consumed all his thoughts. 

A sickly, neon green glowed through the barrel of a syringe.

His chained wrists ached and burned from being yanked through long corridors.

His terrified face looked back at him through the reflective surface of dark-tinted lenses.

His body shook violently as an electrode was pressed into the left side of his head.

His vision erupted in white static when the nurse pressed the button.

NO! STOP IT- NOW!

IT’S OVER. STOP LETTING THIS GET TO YOU.

IT’S OVER.

Don gulped down the dread and anxiety clogging his throat, burying it deeper into the places of his heart he dared never to go. The chill of his memories forced another shudder to claw its way up his spine, leaving him gripping tightly to his arms and shaking his head. His legs shivered and buckled underneath him as if the weight of his memories added to his physical mass.

It’s over. That’s enough.

Don leaned and used the wall to stabilize himself, relying on the firm surface to steady his rampant thoughts as well as his shuddering body.

Just move. One foot in front of the other. 

With a withered sigh, he pushed off the wall and continued walking, blocking out the rest of the hushed conversations escaping the bedroom.

 I can’t deal with that right now. I just can’t.

Leo’s got it. He can handle it.

With his mind completely focused on simply reaching his office, he didn’t even attempt to sneak past the bedroom. It didn’t matter if they saw him, anyway. This was one of those pesky things that he just… couldn’t fix. 

So why try when it’s a waste of time? When there are others who are far more equipped for such a task?

Soon after, he finally reached his office, carefully closing the door behind him as he walked toward his desk. With a sigh, Don flopped onto his computer chair, causing a quiet squeak to fill the compact room. He leaned into the firm cushion of his chair as the whispered hum of the computer filled his ears. For a moment, just a small moment, Don took the second of mental silence to look around his room.

His gaze immediately rose to the high school certificate hung proudly on the wall closest to his desk. He remembered how excited he was to have such an accomplishment under his belt at the young age of sixteen, rubbing it in Raph’s face with a smug grin. His twin nearly shattered the frame before Leo and Splinter intervened. 

So much has changed.

As his eyes began to wander again, he suddenly caught sight of a small, blue sticky note left underneath the frame of his certificate. Don leaned and squinted his eyes as he read,“Please remember to drink! -Leo”. 

A cozy warmth filled Don looking at the note left there by his brother. It embraced his heart and settled his mind, leaving the faint feeling of a grin growing on his face. Don turned to his desk and took a good swig from the glass of water left there since that afternoon.

His eyes continued to wander, soon catching sight of his calendar and notes posted on the wall near his door. He again squinted his eyes, and even fixed and cleaned his glasses, but that all proved to be useless. He still couldn’t read very well, and it was beginning to drive him crazy.

With an annoyed growl, Don scooted and rolled his chair closer to the wall. He would have to figure out his sight problem some other time, no matter how many sparks of dread began to pop in his stomach at the thought of his vision once again failing him.

Shaking his head to repel any more worthless memories from entering, he once again gazed at the notes neatly stacked on the wall. Most of them were just phone numbers of the “co-workers” from his job. 

But then he finally saw his calendar. And the warmth that once thrived inside him vanished instantaneously. 

Leo’s words echoed back to him as he began looking over the wrong amount of days crossed out, reminding him just how much time he had lost.

“Eighteen days.”

For eighteen days he didn’t help his family.

For eighteen days he didn’t keep up with the repairs of his home.

For eighteen days he didn’t show up to work.

For eighteen days his family tirelessly searched for him.

For eighteen days you failed them. Weeks of worry, dread, and longing plagued your family all because of your absence. Did they even have fresh food this whole time? Did they have to resort to drastic measures? Did they have heat? Did any of them sleep? 

Don crushed his head under the clutches of his tightening fingers. 

How much pain did he inflict on his family all because of his carelessness?

Don hunched over in his chair, pulling his legs up to his plastron and pressed his head onto his knee caps. He squeezed tighter and tighter until it hurt.

How could I let this happen?

Why did You put me in this family if You knew I would FAIL THEM?

He pressed his head further into his knees. His arms clung tighter around his legs. His lungs begged for oxygen that he couldn’t supply. 

“Why?...” He whispered brokenly.

Just at the moment he felt his head would burst from the pent up energy and pressure, a soft *ding* sounded from his monitor. He couldn’t recall what he had been processing on his desktop, so he slowly lifted his head from his knees, gazing over to his computer as he dropped his feet back to the floor.

Then it clicked in his brain, and he shot his legs out to propel himself off the wall to his desk. After slamming his hands against the ridge to keep from crashing into the small table, he took a millisecond to gather his completely shattered mental state so he could focus on the task at hand. 

This was something he could fix.

His fingers comfortably found their rhythm clacking on the keyboard as he finally opened the files coded into Lotus’ implant. He was surprised to see so many, at least a hundred or so lined up in neat rows. Each one was labeled similarly, with the title “SUBJECT 19- PROCEDURE #”. 

As curious as he was to begin looking deeper into those files, one in particular caught his eye, labeled two simple words:

“SUBJECT INFO”

That should be promising.~

With his mind made up, Don swerved his mouse and clicked. The file opened to reveal many different types of documents: Blood types, heartbeat readings, and many more medical related data.

If Don weren’t so disgusted by what these felons had done, he would actually be quite impressed with how well organized all the information was. 

He pushed that feeling aside as he continued scrolling.

“MEDICAL HISTORY”...

“DIAGNOSES”...

“TREATMENT PLANS”...

Holy French Toast there’s SO MUCH… I’m gonna need weeks just to go through this all!

“MEDICATIONS”...

“TEST RESULTS”...

“PROGRESS NOTES”...

Down, down, he continued searching through them, just trying to find the end of the treasure trove of knowledge about his family’s new guest.

“IMAGING AND DIAGNOSTIC REPORTS”...

“IMMUNIZATION RECORDS”...

And then his cursor finally stopped. And at the very bottom of the list lied what he was searching for:

“VITAL RECORDS”

There you are.

Don clicked the file as he hunched closer to his monitor, the feelings of anticipation and dread filling him as he wondered what he was going to find. Lotus would finally get some semblance of answers about her past now. And from what he’d seen of the wounded girl, he knew she needed some good news.

The first document to pop up on his screen was a newspaper clipping.

What? 

The article showcased some kind of vehicle, flipped over and ablaze on the side of a dirt-paved road. All the dates on the paper were crossed out, as well as the last names of anyone involved. The cover read in bold letters,

“FAMILY OF FIVE KILLED IN UNFORTUNATE CRASH”

Don’s head cocked in utter confusion as he began reading through the article. He began clicking his tongue as all his concentration zeroed in on every word of the story before him. 

Somehow this connected to Lotus. And he was going to find out how.

The article stated that during a particularly rainy, spring night, a family of five, (husband, wife, and three children), slid off the road and flipped their car over. When help finally arrived, as well as the Press, the car was being swallowed by unrelenting flames. Only two bodies were retrieved, that of the husband and wife. Their names were Frederick and Jess, but their last name was crossed out. 

All that was left of their two toddlers and baby were scorched car seats. 

Don backed away from his monitor in horror, covering his eyes with his hand and sliding it down to his chin. The images of the husband and wife’s bodies hidden under sheets made his stomach tighten with sorrow. He squirmed in his seat, both guilty and grateful that he had never seen or heard anything about this tragedy.

All it took… was one thing to go wrong.

… And then… everything was gone. Everything. That poor family…

The rest of the article continued on to review the woe of their family’s relatives, as well as the following funeral that would occur at a later date. (A later date that was meticulously scratched out to be indecipherable.) 

Why is this in her records?...

After finishing reading through the article, he moved on to the next document in the file:

A birth certificate.

Don muttered an annoyed growl as he noticed that this document had been thoroughly crossed out too, with the only things left reading:

Alexis?... Is that Lotus’ birth name?... But… this is an official document by the State of New York- 

A human certificate.

Don’s brain whirled all this new information around his mind like an indecisive tornado. Nothing was making sense. No puzzle pieces were lining up. How could he be given so much information and none of it is useful?!? Here he thought those psychos with medical degrees were organized and thorough in their research- Here he thought he was finally given a buffet of answers ready to be feasted upon at a moment’s notice. How wrong he was to think this would be easy.

If he’s learned anything in his sixteen years of being a teenage mutant ninja turtle, it was the fact that easy never seemed to be an option.

His shoulders fell as he let out a sigh filled with disappointment. None of this would make Lotus feel better… If anything, it could make things worse. 

If these documents are true… 

Don pushed away from his desk, dropping his head onto the rim of his chair as the weight of the answers given to him pressed further into his mind. His chest ached and his head spun with the implications of the documents.

Was Lotus born as an actual human? 

Did she truly once have a family? 

And how did the newspaper article connect to this?

Was she in that crash? Did she escape the fire? 

Instead of clicking into place and revealing the steadfast truth, all that these answers had done was scatter the pieces of this mystery further apart, deepening the chasm that remained of Lotus’ past.

That's it for this chapter!! And now all of you get to really see the base mystery of my story. :) Hopefully these small pieces of the past will help you theorize what you think happened to Lotus and who you think she is. :) I was ECSTATIC to show you all this chapter. I'm honestly quite proud of how it came out, and I am so excited to delve deeper into the mystery of Lotus' past.

Feel free to reblog and share this!

BIG THANK YOU to @poetique823 for helping me and encouraging me through this chapter! Also apologies for uh... breaking you. XD

@writer-in-wonder, @allyheart707, @oddartistl3, @risebabyx2, @joyjoygorl, @carrots-bear, @howtotrainyourdragonprince, @jasminegazer, @indieyuugure

If you want to be tagged in the next chapter, please comment down below! :)

To God be the glory!

~ Melissa

(CW- Implied past deaths, trauma, mention of medical trauma!)

MASTERPOST <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[mingot-studios]

Am I the only who gets kinda triggered when Ginny, Bonney, and Kuma get portrayed as a happy loving family?

Not that I don't WANT them to be happy, but the problem I have is that it completely ignores the fact that Bonney is a RAPE BABY.

It reduces Ginny to just being a mother to Bonney, and wife to Kuma. WHile ignoring the fact that Bonney was FORCED UPON HER AGAINST HER WILL. No one wants to address the trauma that would have on Ginny because they don't want to acknowledge the grim reality of the situation in favor of they so-called "nothing-bad-happens-au". (Which is ironic, considering that Ginny HAS to be captured and RAPED in order for Bonney to exist at all)

RAPE IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE BRUSHED UNDER THE FUCKING RUG. IF YOU DO ANY AU WHERE GINNY SURVIVES YOU BETTER FUCKING ADDRESS, YOU SICK FUCKS!!

[choices-binglebonkus]

Trauma is only ever really portrayed in horror books. ILITW, ILB, BB, even NB to an extent all portray trauma in a relatively realistic and consistent manner.

Noah in MTFL was nearly murdered by a policeman yet still readily goes on a vacation with the man who sent the police after him in the first place.

The Endless Summer gang have experienced countless atrocities. Their families and friends all burned alive in lava. Quinn went into a coma and nearly died. Raj, Grace, and Diego were taken hostage by the Vaanti. The group was hunted down and nearly killed by the Arachnid. So much happened to them that just…didn’t traumatize them at all, apparently.

I honestly think Riley’s situation is the most ridiculous though, and I’ve posted about it before. She was assaulted by a known murderer who escaped and was on the loose in the palace, which then forced her into labor in the middle of a ball full of nobles and royalty alike. She was then stuck in labor for HOURS without ANY medical attention or an epidural, and then suffered from eclampsia which literally could have killed her. And then when the doctor finally got there, she had to give birth after hours of pain and high blood pressure STILL without any form of pain relief. And then (presumably after dealing with the afterbirth, which isn’t actually shown in the story) after she nearly DIED, she learns that her newborn infant’s future has just been signed away to save her life. And somehow she just…goes about her merry way without any trauma or complications or whatever.

Pixelberry probably didn’t portray any lasting trauma or complications because society doesn’t like talking about trauma surrounding birth and pregnancy. In the eyes of society, birth is always a beautiful, joyous miracle where all the bad, unhappy, icky stuff goes away once the baby is born. Because actually being realistic and informing people with uteri of all the trauma and complications they can face might force them into…*gasp* making an informed decision about deciding to have a child and how they’ll do it!

My biggest criticism with choices is that they have this mc go through something super traumatic and then they move on so fast!

How did Riley from the royal heir not have postpartum or any postpartum complications? She almost died giving birth!

Mc in open heart watched people and her friend almost die and she almost died and she had one chapter to deal with it and then moved on!

Like where’s the time to deal with a traumatic incident, instead everyone’s like oh no that’s so sad.. anyway!

[compassionatereminders]

opinion—when someone says that they don’t want kids, people should shut the fuck up instead of bringing in the “you’ll change your mind when you’re married” bullshit. I’m sick of it and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s actually been traumatized by the whole conversation to the point of constant nightmares about forced pregnancy and childbirth. I don’t care if I wrote that I wanted kids in an essay when I was fourteen, that was seven years ago. Let people decide if they want children or not and then keep your fucking opinions to yourself.

Also, second opinion—raising your children to be baby machines and telling them they’re not allowed to use headaches as an excuse for something because they’ve “overused” that excuse, and that they’re not allowed to say “please, don’t “ is fucking weird and setting your kids up for shitty relationships.

excuse the swearing, i just needed to get that out. Thank you for your time and for what you do. I hope you have a lovely day.

Yes, pressuring people to have sex and then children regardless of whether they actually want to is horrible and needs to end now!

[uncanny-tranny]

I would give up my immortal soul if it meant that journalists, publishers, writers, family, friends - just everybody - would stop with the whole trans person's chosen name followed by "formerly known as [unused or dead name]"

[homoquartz]

horror movie birth/rebirth was a touching story of lesbian motherhood tbqh

[goreyskeleton]

genuinely makes me sick to my stomach how she pretends to care about me but if I told her I self harm she wouldn’t be cornered in the slightest. She’d tell me it’s a sin and I’ll go to hell and I’m fucking crazy and overall she’ll just scream at me. Wanna know how I know this? Cuz it’s happened 3 years ago.

[pinkinsect]

do you think that ness could get a Little bit self conscious when reading fantasy novels in front of people. do you think that some people who know ness incorrectly clock him as Bearer Of Religious Trauma from that

[lilitophidian]

GET IT OUT OF ME.

GET IT THE F U C K OUT.

The banshee cries with dread.

In pain.

Rupture the link of sharing a body with a PARASITE.

FEASTING ON THE INSIDE.

A shrieking leech ripped open her canal. Tearing flesh separated portions in certain locations.

THEY'D BE ONE UNTIL REGENERATION.

A GAPING FUCKING HOLE.

She would scream in anguish as her own hands ripped at her pristine body. Tears contain poisonous acids and essential fluids.

Nobody was permitted to see her in such a state, including her beloved, who had placed this INSIDE OF HER.

SHE WANTED TO WRAP HER HANDS AROUND HIS THROAT AND STRANGLE HIM UNTIL HIS FACE WENT PURPLE.

CASTRATE THE DEVIL.

Growling, groaning upon the satin sheets as they were drenched in her disgusting grime. She experienced a sense of violation.

This was not beauty.

Beautiful life to be ripped from her as it wailed for the first time. Lungs full of breath, pleading for comfort.

Lilith could only conceal her face. Weeping will resonate across Hell's dominion. She curled into a fetal posture, similar to the wiggling newborn, and closed her eyes to catch her breath.

Sigil would emerge, her eyes glowing crimson as she debated devouring her infant. The crunch of exquisite tiny bones and the snap of the neck just cease the AWFUL NOISE.

No... No...Maintain your composure. This child was important to you.

Her hair is crimson, much more so than the liquid flowing forth between her legs. A remembrance of your past.

Soon, she would carefully prop herself up with twisted gestures to glance over her infant.

RAGE WILL CONSUME YOU.

The act of turning against oneself in order to protect the child. She would gradually separate her legs as they shook, making a powerful fist inside herself as her razor-sharp claws sank in to take control.

More cries followed as she moaned in misery. The fledging shrieked alongside her, determined never to remember such terror.

As the hand tugged lower, blood gushed out, covering everything. She would howl demonically and animalistically as she bared her teeth.

A moment of pause.

Let us not drown the kid in gore, even though it surged against her like floodgates. The spray soiled everything it came into contact with, even that small face that so closely resembled THAT FUCKER WHO IMPREGNATED HER.

As she wrenched the uterus away from its anatomy, she felt freedom in her palm. She would hold it aloft while a mild, dizzy feeling overtook her. One she had not felt in years since her back slammed cement on the Pentagram-painted ground.

Her snake-like eyes would look down upon fresh innocence, and she would snarl quietly... She stuffed her bits and pieces into her lips without hesitation. The meat was to be consumed mercilessly, as if a starving beast had not eaten in days, notwithstanding minor moans.

After such, she would be swallowed and linger down her throat. She would push her fingers back in to scratch and DIG INTO WHAT WAS LEFT.

I F E E L F U C K I N G R O T T E N

Least... She did not injure her baby, right?

[scarfacemarston]

Hey there! How’s your trip going? I have a question for you. What do you know about c-section procedures in the late 1800’s?

In my fanfic, my reader character is a doctor and I have an idea where she has to help a difficult baby delivery.

I was doing some research but someone closed all the windows I had open that I was reading. I know you bring a historical aspect to the fandom and I’m curious on your thoughts.

So, as you know by now, my trip is over. It went alright! It could have been so much worse. So, I actually studied pregnancy, childbirth and maternal and infant mortality extensively last year for the national park service. They wanted to know how to tell stories about the women who endured the process, so I'm a bit confident in my answer. C-Sections have actually been around since the Ancient Roman times, but were exceedingly rare to perform. They were seldomly used in the medieval times, but it almost always ended in the death of the mother, the baby or both. There were a few lucky instances in the 1700s of doctors able to perform the surgery successfully, but again, this was rare. It isn't until the late 19th century that C-sections were becoming more widely studied. However, your doctor oc will not be able to do a c-section. It is literally impossible at this point by "yourself" (meaning the reader.) C-sections were not the norm at this point because it was near guaranteed death for the mother. You only did it if you were fairly confident that the baby would survive and the mother gave her blessing - knowing she would die. The shock and blood loss were the main reasons if infection didn't take her later and too many doctors at the time did not know about hygienic practices. I have a doctor OC as well and he wouldn't be able to do it, either, so don't feel bad. Now, since this is fanfiction, you're of course free to do as you please, but your oc and my oc would not be able to perform a c-section. They would need advanced equipment and staff to assist as well as a reason to do so. By this I mean that not everyone was "allowed" a C-section. They were reserved for certain women. Strangely, it was mostly upper class women, but upper class women were also difficult in that if a doctor failed, there would be strong consequences. C-sections were not often taught in medical schools until late 1800s and even then, the uptake was slow because of the risks involved. By the early 1900s, this was becoming a more common practice. If your oc is a woman, she is not likely to receive this education. There were female doctors then, but the medical world was hesitant in educating women surgeons. (I have a pair of siblings, female and male that are doctors and that's something I've written about.) That doesn't mean she couldn't do it "back alley" style, though. So unless your OC has a team of doctors, lots of the latest tools and equipment and the advanced know-how, your OC is not going to be able to save the life of the mother and the baby. Perhaps the baby, but not both. I have sources if you'd like them, but it's heavy reading.

[maryschepherd]

I know this is very early in the Perverts saga, so I may be way off, however, my interpretation of the lyrics and video is that the woman in white with the black veil (who repeatedly touches her stomach) is Ethel's mother and the women in black is proto-Ethel.

As a pregnant woman, Ms. Cain is undergoing the Genesis "curse" that all mothers must labor as a result of the biblical fall of humanity. As baby Ethel grows, it causes Ms. Cain more physical and emotional pain. Fully grown Ethel walking through the doorway and hallway reminds me of the door of Guf in Kabbalah where all souls leave to be put into new bodies during pregnancy. The hallway is the birth cannel/womb. The circumstances of Ethel's birth may be sordid, which leads to Ms. Cain getting shunned by "them" despite her doing no wrong (like in the Scarlet Letter). Even if there isn't any controversy with the pregnancy, there is the extreme view of pregnancy being a punishment for (especially women) partaking in any sexual pleasure.

Furthering punishment to Ms. Cains could also be the old wives tail that if a women has a daughter the baby steals both the youth and beauty of the mother. In past posts and interviews Hayden has said that both she and Ethel are trans but so far we have not seen how that has effected Ethel. Ethel being depicted as an adult foreshadows her true self despite societal expectations on people's sex and perceived gender. Before Ethel's birth, she is just herself without outside opinions. The black dress Ethel is wearing may also foreshadow Ethel's short life (like Nativity images that have crucifixion symbols hidden in the otherwise joyful scene).

The ring overlaying the footage looks like an ultrasound to me. Ms. Cain is punished both by the labor curse and by the rejection of "them" who leave her and baby Ethel.

These are the themes and images that came to my mind after watching the video. It's entirely possible that the album Perverts may only be thematically related to Ethel Cain's story but I know at some point Hayden wants to tell the story both of Ethel's mother and Ethel's grandmother. I would love to hear other theories and interpretations.

[nutcoffin]

Cow OC

Her name is LoveDeposit, a cow with parasites who dreams of having children.

Living oc since 2023 August 8

[pro-birth]

A great resource to share with grieving families, patients who want to inform themselves, or just as a general education tool when discussing healthcare.