#tw slurs against lesbians

[thetardisisnotourdivision]

FUCKING NOBODY:

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOBODY EVER:

MY MOTHER TELLING ME TO STOP TALKING ABOUT MY TRANS FRIENDS, STOP TALKING ABOUT BEING GAY, STOP PULLING MY BROTHER UP ON BEING RACIST, AND GENERALLY "STOP DOING THINGS TO AGGRAVATE" MY LITERAL SELF PRONOUNCED NAZI BROTHER BECAUSE "IT JUST MAKES HIM MORE DETERMINED":

I WISH I WAS FUCKING JOKING

[planetveensz]

RETRIBUTION — vi (arcane)

— you are pitfighter!vi’s newest devistating lesbian situationship. tw: fem!r, angst, sapphic longing, sapphic heartbreak, mentions of drinking/alcohol/being drunk, mentions of sex (mdni 18+), lowercase intended i'm a sadboy rn, wk 1.4k, art cred an: act two hurt me bad guys, had to take a breath and sit down to write out my feelings. please send any trauma response ideas or otherwise if you have them, i needa write this pain out fr. (i listened to vampire empire by big theif while writing this)

you’re jerked from sleep by a loud pounding behind your door.

blood turning to ice, a trickle of fear runs down your spine as your heartbeat picks up. the banging begins again, a loud rapping so violent you imagine the wood of your door bending from its force. you slide out of bed as quietly as you can; avoiding the weak, creaking spots on your floor.

you pick up the bat placed next to the threshold of your front door, fingers sliding up the handle as you inch towards the door knob. there are another three booming knocks that make you jump back with a small ‘eep!’ before gaining up the courage to rip the door open. other hand reaching to grip the bat handle, you raise it above your head, prepared to strike.

you don’t.

violet wobbles in your doorframe, a sly smile creeping on her lips when she sees your vicious state. “hey, sweetheart,” she croons, stumbling to the side and barely catching herself on the trim of your entryway.

great. she’s belligerent.

“vi,” you say her name like a statement, “what are you doing here?”

you met vi months ago, amidst the beginning of her winning streak in the pit. she spotted you on the dancefloor adjacent to the bar she frequented after her fights. she’d approached you with one thing in mind. the sex was amazing, passionate and fiery, it would have been perfect if she didn’t keep calling you by someone else's name.

“‘cmon, sweetie, don’ be like that,” she slurs, “i missed you.” you roll your eyes, but can’t help the fond smile that responds to her words. you'd kept seeing her after that first night despite every red flag, showing up at her matches just so that she could find you again. you cherished every drunken night with her.

you knew what you were doing was going to get you hurt in the end, but you supposed you just didn't care. and it wasn’t just the sex, there was something else about her that you couldn’t ignore.

among the moments of intense lust, you saw her for what she truly was. lonely. broken, sad. kind.

rubbing at your forehead, you sigh, then step aside so that she can make her way into your apartment. “i thought you said we couldn’t see each other anymore.” you tell her, manipulating your voice into a teasing lilt, but silently begging her to say what you wanted to hear. she slips past you and inside your home like she has dozens of times before.

“you know that was bullshit,” she laughs drunkenly, “i can’t stay away from you.” she says it matter-a-factly, like it is something well-known and studied. you scoff, disbelief sinking into your gut.

some nights when you ended up together, long after you first entangled, instead of sex, you would listen to her drunken rambling. while you attempted to feed her grilled cheese sandwiches and water to soak up the alcohol in her stomach, she would reveal things to you that stunned you into silence.

her father, her sister, mylo and claggor. silco, the lanes, her time in stillwater, she told you all of it. when her name — caitlyn’s name — first tumbled out of her mouth, you nearly vomited. that is what she had been calling you the first few times you hooked up. “caitlyn,” she’d whisper it into your collarbone, murmur it against your breast.

you couldn’t see her for a couple weeks after that revelation, avoiding the bar, the pit, wallowing in your self-pity. it didn’t last long. she’d shown up, much like this, begging for you to tell her what she’d done wrong. tears streaming down her cheeks as she sunk to her knees in front of you.

you just couldn’t abandon her after that night, no matter what she did. it didn’t matter anymore what she’d call you or what she wanted from you, the empathy you had for this suffering person overtook any self-preserving thoughts you had.

she was going to break your heart. you accepted it.

vi flops onto your beaten couch, laying her arms along the cushions and tipping her head back until she’s staring at your ceiling. the last time she was here it was more than three weeks ago, the longest you’d gone without her since you met her. she’d told you that she couldn’t see you any longer; your time with her was up.

you guessed it had something to do with how close you two had gotten, emotionally. not only were you discovering every way to make each other shiver in bed, you were also exploring each other's deepest thoughts and highest dreams.

your heart races in your chest as you settle yourself next to her on the couch. she lazily turns her head to set her eyes on you, the glimmering gray of her irises makes every emotion for her you’ve tried to dissolve come flooding back. “you’re so pretty,” she whispers.

you immediately feel sick, wondering if she’s having another hallucination of caitlyn. how had you gotten into this mess, fallen so deeply into the chasm that is violet’s grasp? you turn your head away from her, resting your cheek on your shoulder while you contemplate your next move.

she says your name, your name, with such clarity it shocks you. you whip your head back around to see her leaning forward, looking at you with a sobriety you haven’t seen from her before. then she kisses you.

you melt into it, allowing her to pull you against her, on top of her lap and into her arms. you sigh, it feels like coming home. she’s gentle with you, cradling and stroking your neck and arms. you sag into her.

her pouty lips are soft and warm, her tongue swipes along your bottom lip and a shudder runs down your back. when you open your mouth for her, it’s heaven.

it’s retribution.

you pull back, stumbling over your feet as you remove yourself from her lap. her chest is heaving, and you catch yourself watching her ab muscles clench with every breath. you scrub your forehead.

“this is wrong,” you say.

“what?” she scoffs a laugh, “baby—”

“this is wrong and you know it.” your voice cracks, the emotion you’ve been shoving down all these months finally coming back to suffocate you. “you’re in love with her.”

violet flinches.

“you’re in love with her, not me, and i—” a sob leaves your throat, “i’m falling in love with you and i can’t keep sacrificing myself for-for this.” you gesture between the two of you. “it’s not enough.”

“you—” vi starts, standing to meet you, “you—i can’t lose you, too.” you can see her own tears forming in her eyes. “please. i can’t.” the desperation in her voice is unparalleled, you've never heard her so emotional.

the dam breaks. you fall into her arms, wrapping yourself around her neck as you cry into each other’s shoulders. you both crumple to the floor, she is gripping you like you’re her salvation. neither of you say anything.

time passes and she falls asleep in your hold; you eventually heave her onto the couch. tucking her in with a spare pillow and blanket, you watch for a few silent moments as she peacefully breathes in her sleep.

a thought crosses your mind, maybe you could lay down next to her for the night, but you shake it away with surprising willpower. leaning above her, you press a longing kiss against her temple and squeeze your eyes shut. a murmur leaves her lips, it sounds a lot like your name.

when violet wakes her head is pounding in retaliation for how much she drank the previous night. a groan leaves her lips and her eyes flutter open as memories come streaming back to her. she gasps, sitting up too quickly. ignoring the way her stomach turns, she glances around your empty apartment.

she finds you sleeping in your room, curled up in bed, snoozing quietly. her heart clenches. she knows that you deserve better than what she's been giving you, she knows how much damage your heart has taken the last few months. she’s like a parasite, draining you of all the affection she needs and in return inflicting you with the illness that comes with caring for her.

but she can’t make herself stay away.

she knows why, too. she just doesn't have the strength to admit it.

instead, she leans above you, pressing a longing kiss against your temple and taking a shuddering breath. she pulls away and watches as a murmur leaves your lips, her name.

she wipes the crippling onslaught of tears off her cheeks as she approaches your front door. muffling the sounds of her cries with a tight hand over her mouth, she leaves, gently shutting the door behind her.

© planetveensz 2024

[rubra-wav]

Hi! I’m autistic and a lesbian and my current hyper fixation/ comfort show is Hazbin Hotel and my favorite/comfort character is Angel Dust. I was wondering if you could write a platonic Angel x gn/fem reader that is angsty and involves the reader comforting and taking care of Angel after a really bad night with Valentino. With cuddling, and handholding and Angel dealing with addiction/ self harm and the reader just being there and supporting him or something. I totally understand if not I just thought I would ask. Also I’m a huge fan of your work!!

Safe and Sound If Only For Now (Angel Dust x Reader fic)

A/N Absolutely can, and 100% understand the vision. THE BOY NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF. 🗣

Also, thank you sm im glad my writing is being enjoyed 🙏

CW: marking it as NSFW due to the themes within but theres not any actual smut, hurt/comfort, angst, gn!reader, written as platonic but could be seen as romantic as well, Angel throws up at one point(dk if I need to tw that), themes of s/h and addiction, reference to trauma responses and mentions of physical and sexual abuse

When you were called downstairs by a very concerned Charlie at the wee hours of the morning, you knew that the night Angel Dust had was hell without having to even see him.

He'd apparently stumbled loudly through the door about 10 minutes ago, clearly not sober but still demanding a drink looking absolutely trashed. Husk had attempted to touch his shoulder, and the bartender was promptly smacked away with a yell to 'not touch him!'

Your footsteps had pattered loudly on the creaky floorboards down the hall of your hotel room as you quickly made your way to the bar where you knew he was.

And there you found him.

The hunched over, trembling figure of your friend with two of his arms folded around his head, a glass of alcohol you know tasted like utter shit clutched in another shaky hand.

Husk looked at you tiredly from behind the bar with clear relief on his features as he gestured to Angel with a look that asked you to take care of him - do what he couldn't in this moment.

It had taken a lot of verbal coaxing to get Angel to put down the drink and come with you to your room, but he eventually allowed you to gently grip his hand and tug him up the stairs and back down the hall to your room.

The second the door had shut behind the two of you, he'd completely fallen apart as you told him he was safe now.

That's how you were in this situation now, slumped on the floor next to the bed with Angel's face buried into the front of your shirt, your arms pulling his face closer and running your fingers through his messed up fur, carefully avoiding touching his neck and shoulders as you whispered to him softly to let it out.

Seconds ticked into minutes as his previously loud crying had slowly turned into broken, shaking sobs that were barely audible as you sat there with him slumped against you.

It was rather uncomfortable, your knees digging into the coarse rug on the floor of your room, but at the moment, that didn't much matter.

"'ank you. 'Ank you 'o much." He slurred out finally, voice cracking with emotion.

You hummed in response, relieved to hear his voice finally.

You removed your hands from where they were combing through his fur and instead cupped his cheeks, pulling his face away from your chest carefully.

Sympathy and anger stabbed through you painfully as you observed the darkening bruise on his puffy under-eye that had now been exposed with his tears. That asshole.

You brushed a thumb over the bruise with a furrowed brow, your frown deepening at the way he winced despite you barely even grazing it. You quickly moved your thumb away.

Angel's unfocused, bloodshot eyes watched you react to it with clear guilt. He swallowed thickly as he forced a grin onto his face. "'T's nothin' I'm not used to, toots." He mumbled. He could tell you didn't believe it for a second, and his heart sank despite all the alcohol knocking through him. Shit, he didn't want to sober up.

He could feel the pain he was trying to numb already creeping back into his body, though, and he 'tsk'd' with a hissing breath.

You shook your head slowly and got a better look at him as his eyes shut with a wince.

His jacket was a mess, a bite mark that was still bleeding soaking into his collar peaked out at you, and you grit your teeth as you looked down to see more droplets soaking into other places as well on his sides and hips.

Christ.

"I'm going to go get some things to help fix you up. Are you okay with taking a shower on your own?" You murmured softly but very seriously.

Angel forced his eyes open and nodded despite moving being the last thing he wanted to do right now, having you leave being even lower on that list.

"Yeah.. 'ut get me a change of clothes while you're out. That is unless you wanna see me in nothing more than a towel." He joked with a humour that was obviously not present, voice still very much hoarse.

You smiled at the comment half-heartedly and nodded. "I'll be right back, I swear." You gently patted his cheek before gripping his hands to help him stand up. With the tremendous height difference, it didn't do too much, but you could see he was appreciative of it nonetheless.

-

After a couple of minutes, you came back into the room with a change of clothes, a first aid kit, and a water bottle in one hand, a cup of hot chocolate in the other made just how liked it.

Angel was sitting on your bed awkwardly with a white towel draped over his lap. As he stood up and turned the other way to slip on the pair of shorts you'd bought him, you could fully see some of the multiple bite marks that were seeping into Angel's fur, matting it.

Your fists clenched and unclenched but you still didn't voice the silent fury coursing through you at what had clearly happened to him.

You placed the hot chocolate in Angel's hands as he sat back down, receiving a barely audible thanks, and then set into disinfecting the various marks and patching them up.

Each time he tensed up and hissed due to the disinfectant, you apologised profusely but didn't stop as you wanted to get it over as soon as possible for his sake.

Angel dug his teeth into the mug in his hands to avoid biting his tongue or cheek as he winced in pain, the hot drink on your part both a crutch and a grounding tool so he didn't dissociate away from everything completely.

If that happened, he knew he'd most likely pass out and that was the last thing he needed to do right now while you were making sure he didn't get some horrific infection from the wounds he'd sustained.

He was so incredibly tired of so much.

He didn't want to keep seeing the blurred images of the afternoon and night that made him want to start sobbing again.

He couldn't even remember properly, it was all a blur; hungry hands on him, faces and bodies he couldn't quite remember, and Valentino's red eyes looking down on him as his fist closed around his neck. All his memories were out of place, like a ripped up photograph rearranged wrongly.

Angel didn't even know what he'd done to get punished by him today.

He'd come to realise there was no real reason though due to you telling him as much, and that searching for it would just make spiral. It wasn't his fault that that moth-winged cunt had decided to break him today.

Or at least, that was the logical answer.

He still remembered the words that plagued him through the mess of memories and painful sensations staring at back at him like a hall of mirrors, though. 'You brought this upon yourself, Angelcakes.' Said through a cruel, patronising grin right before those same teeth dug into him again, and again, and again.

Angel grit his teeth as the memory made his head hurt before gagging as horrific nausea suddenly hit him all at once.

You cursed, having just finished up patching his wounds and pulled him towards the bathroom sink in your ensuite.

You took the hot chocolate from his hands before using the other to sweep his fur out of the way just in time as he started wretching loudly into the sink.

You patted his back awkwardly as he threw up all of what he'd been binging for the night in rapid succession, looking at a crack near the door frame of your bathroom to try give him some semblance of privacy.

After a couple of seconds, Angel panted with a horrified expression on his face at the taste in his mouth, shuddering.

"That was fuckin nasty, 'm sorry." Angel cringed, trembling with exertion as he washed out the sink and his mouth.

"If you're sick, you're sick, Angie." You continued rubbing his back gently as Angel straightened up, sighing in relief as he felt more steady now that everything had all been purged from his system.

One part of himself wanted to go bother Husk for more to drink, but he pushed it away, instead opting for the now lukewarm cup of hot chocolate that was sitting neglected on the edge of the bathroom sink.

He gripped the mug and threw it back, chugging it in the hope of washing out the horrific taste that still stuck around.

"Wait a second, I'll give you the painkillers with that." You called over you shoulder as you went to rummage through the first aid kit.

Angel slowly walked out of the bathroom after you, hunched over to be about your height as he waited for the pills. He tiredly spaced out as he looked at your hands going through the pile of stuff you'd brought.

You pressed the meds into his palm, and watched as he quickly downed it. "Do you wanna stay in my room tonight?" You asked as you cleared the stuff off of your bed.

You didn't really need the verbal confirmation as Angel flopped down onto your bed with a loud groan as he finally relaxed, exhaustion passing over every part of him.

You chuckled softly, and crawled up next to him, gently wrapping your arms loosely around his lower back as you pulled his face into your chest again.

He wrapped his arms around you in turn, another one of his hands creeping towards yours in silent request. You understood, lacing your fingers with his and gently nuzzled affectionately into the top of his head.

You could feel him start shaking softly again, once again tearing up despite everything. You tightened your embrace as you felt wet tears sink into your shirt again.

"It's okay, honey. It's okay. You're safe here with me." You repeated.

"Thank you 'o much." Angel whispered, tightening his grip on you in an attempt to bring you and your warmth to the bottomless pit of despair he constantly tried to forget.

"No problem. I love you, Angie. I really hope you know that." You gently kissed the top of his head, squeezing your hand laced with his reassuringly. "Now come on, try to get some sleep, you must be exhausted."

Angel's crying slowly stopped as the feeling of the security you provided swept over him like a warm blanket, creeping into every last crack in himself and filling it. The rhythmic beat of your heart under his cheek lulled him to complete calmness.

He didn't want it to end, but he still slipped into the warm embrace of sleep.

If only for a small while, the lock on his prison cell wasn't as cold, and the bars were not visible through your arms.

All that shit could wait until tomorrow.

I've read over it multiple times, but if there are errors y'all can see reading this one pls lmk - my brains been on wrong a bit today.

Bruh I just want Angel to be happy and cared for istg, he deserves it. 😭

[tiredistic]

Sulky Janis and her two (or one if you prefer) girlfriend(s) comforting her?? I think it'd be a cute fic but feel free to ignore this!

"Just hold me close"

Pairing: Regina x Cady x Janis

TW: Heavy Homophobia, Bullies, F slur, mentions of toxic relationships, Really shitty girls, language (lemme know if I missed any)

Summary: Janis has some classes to go to where she gets picked on. That plus the lousy day she ends up having makes her yearn for comfort from her two girlfriends.

A/n: Yes I agree this is such a cute request! I enjoyed writing it ty for the askk!! <3

Today had to be the worst day ever. It was muggy and foggy and it had been raining on and off all day.

Regina and Cady were at the house since they didn't have any classes, but Janis was on campus because she had 3 classes. Three long.. boring.. aggravating classes without her girlfriends.

It would have been such a good day, for instance, in her painting class they were to have a live model. She was looking forward to it all week.

She was so excited to finally be going but the light left her eyes as she saw three girls walk into the art building.

Chloe, Kayla, and Ava, three girls who definitely paid their way into the advanced art classes just to be with the artistic hot guys.

Chloe, a brunette with a grown out bob and a black eye every other day from various toxic relationships. Kayla had black short bangs to match her long silky hair, however her bangs were scary short and not in a cute way. Meanwhile Ava was the tallest, she had the horrible side part.

They hated Janis. They hated what she had, what she was capable of- Especially that she was a lesbian who was in a poly relationship.

Everything they did was to sabotage or poke at Janis.

They copied everything she did (horribly might I add), they even tried passing up her art as their own, to which they failed (miserably might I add).

So when Janis walked into the room, it was hard not to show her disappointment.

Sliding into her seat across the room, she tried to minimize any eye contact with them as possible, but they definitely noticed her.

With a sly grin Ava stood up, her height already surpassing all the boys, Chloe and Kayla following her.

their gum chewing got louder and louder as they got closer. their cheap small tops rubbing uncomfortably against their arms. Their jeans were pulled up so high it just had to be suffocating.

Janis tried to ignore them as she set up her supplies for the painting lesson today, but they loomed over her waiting for any bit of recognition, which she folded to buy giving them a slight look.

"Guys look!" Ava laughed with a unnatural high voice, her gum threatening to fly out her mouth, "It's the two-time art freak!"

"Bitch can't even chose one partner." Ava chimed in.

They all synchronized in fake laughter, a high pitch that made everyone's ears bleed. Much like seagulls if you ask me.

"Art freak and a lesbian? Pick your poison gosh!" Kayla laughed slyly.

"Hey Josh! Joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, isn't she pathetic~~" Chloe sticked her non-existent ass in the air as if it was going to attract Josh.

"sure." Josh replied, he was so obviously gay Janis just had to sigh.

The period started, and everyone was instructed to come to the front of the class to grab supplies for their project.

Janis got up making her way up to the front when they cut infront of her, making her stumble slightly.

"Watch where you're going fag, your going to step on my shoes" Kayla rolled her eyes, eyeing down Janis's attire.

Janis was wearing Cady's flannel shirt and Regina's sweats, covered by her own hoodie that she made.

She got nervous, she was just trying to be comfortable, and she genuinely thought it was a good outfit. She was carrying her girlfriends where she went while she was away, it meant something to her.

They stood directly in front of her in line as they shit talked her.

She tried to tune them out as best as she could, occasionally insults like "whore," "girl pig," found its way to her ears.

She wanted to say something, she wanted to cuss them out but she decided to just try and calm down by fidgeting with a toy she brought in her pocket.

"You know I heard her girlfriends date her out of pity, since she made such a huge deal!"

"Gosh I dunno why such pretty girls would date down, they could bag anyone they want yet they chose a ugly hoe."

"i'm surprised such pretty girls are lesbos." Chloe sighed, "wasting their lives, such pretty children they could have had,.."

Janis exhaled heavily just 30 more minutes of this she had to remind herself.

"They're pretty yeah but they're so messed up. Like the blonde one, she's kinda big.. I heard her back is fucked up too." Ava gossiped.

"So I heard, the redhead is a egotistical nerd no?"

"You guys have no idea what your talking about."

"sorry what was that?" they tied their conversation to turn to Janis.

One thing Janis wasn't about to do was stand there as they spread rumors about her girlfriends.

"My girlfriends aren't messed up, they're perfectly fine and I love them for who they are!"

They stayed silent for a second before breaking into a fit of laughter.

"Oh my gosh what in the- that was soooo corny"

Their laughs synchronized again, making everyone in the room cover their ears.

"Don't talk to us again do you hear me? fucking slut." They strolled out of line after grabbing what they needed.

Janis was trying her hardest to not let it get to her, but her mind pondered on their words. How they just took it lightly, it made her blood boil.

The whole time the model came all that she could think about was how other people saw her relationship, the art freak, the egotistical nerd and 'the big girl with the messed up back.'

It hurt.

The day passed faster than ever, she was now in her last class before heading home and everything was looking up for her. She was trying to take her mind off of the events from earlier with her pottery class.

She was making a pot for Cady. It was so she could cook her signature Mac-n-cheese. It was exceptionally huge, as requested from Regina, (she loved the mac).

Janis made it in a special way, making sure to include the handles where Cady could rest the spoon on the side without too much trouble.

She was listening to her favorite band as she worked, the clay sliding through her hands effortlessly, adding to her amazing work.

She was so enamored by her music that she didn't notice Quill standing next to her.

He was a nobody. Literally, he had no special talent and he claimed to play football on some random international team. The only good thing about him was his toned arms and height, his personality was ass.

He was convinced that Janis liked him and was just playing hard to get. Even though Janis had been saying to him that she's a lesbian, he still persisted. Even though Janis said she was in a relationship with amazing girlfriends, he said it's okay because they could be his girlfriends too.

Quill pissed Janis off to say the least, and she definitely didn't need his bullshit today.

Quill pulled Janis's wired earphones out from her ears, already ticking her off.

"hey Janice! whuch' you doin?" His voice was already annoying her, he purposely tried to make his voice way deeper than it was which just made it sound unnatural. He also butchered her name (horribly might I add).

"Janis. It's Janis. I'm working on my project, or was before you interrupted me." She sighed moving her earphones from the piece as carefully as possible.

"Well I was wondering if I could take you to homecoming-"

"For the upteenth time, NO!" Janis sighed angrily, "I'm already going with my beautiful girlfriends!"

"can't they go together?"

"No they can't now fuck off."

"Whatever, your not as pretty anyway, I might just ask them." he threw his hand up, clumsily knocking Janis's project to the floor.

"fuck!" She hissed trying to catch it, but it slipped though her hands, falling to the floor with a splat.

"awh shitt, my bad my bad." He mumbled before walking away.

Janis started to freak out her breathing increased.

Her pot was on the floor. Cady's pot was on the floor. Couldn't she do anything right? It wasn't her fault it was Quills, but it still felt like she should have saved it. The promises she made about the pot all gone in a instance. Maybe her girlfriends were dating down, how could they love a clumsy girl like her?

Her mind spiraled as she quickly tried to do her calming exercises.

After a minute the sound of rain mixed with her figure taps really helped her calm down. She decided to take a much more calm, and safe approach.

Her hands ran through her hair as she thought of ways to fix it. It fell in such a way that if she picked it up with precision and caution she could possibly save what's left, making major changes to the sides and revising the handles.

She was finally at peace with her plan before a strike of lightning and thunder broke her out of it, making her jump, slipping on her two feet landing directly in her mushy pot.

Given, she didn't fall on her ass, her hands braced her fall. ..You wanna know what else braced her fall? It was the pot.

All she wanted to do was scream, but she didn't, she was in a more than public setting and everyone definitely saw her fall. All she could do was clean up and leave. Since it wasn't quite the end of the school day, she had to take the public transportation rather than the schools private property.

She waited for the bus, her backpack getting wet- everything getting wet. She just wanted to be home in her girlfriends arms.

After what seemed like forever, the bus came and it was jam packed. Janis made it on, squeezing into a corner by what seemed to be a sweet old man.

He smiled at Janis but it quickly faded as he noticed the pins on her bag.

One was the lesbian flag and the other was the polygamous flag. Accompanied by various other pins, the rainbow pride flag stuck out to the man the most (he didn't recognize the specific flags she had)

"Your one of them.. queer folk." He mused, his breath lingering in the air.

"what.."

"all that queer shit- its- its not natural. You just didn't find the right man!" Janis could tell his bones were just itching to say that.

Janis just sighed, his voice was low and grainy enough to tune him out for the rest of the ride, but the fact he had the nerve to say something like that to her was astonishing, even in the year 2024.

Just 2 more minutes she had to remind herself.

When it was time for her stop, she got off with speed not trying to listen to that man a second longer. She walked up the block to where they were staying, the rain picking up with every step.

Janis slugged though the door throwing her backpack wherever as she passed by Cady and Regina without a word. She went to go change out of her outfit which was stained in a mix of paint, clay, and rain.

They gave each other confused glances before deciding to wait on Janis's timing to come and talk to them. They waited for approximately 30 minutes before Janis came in covered in their clothes.

She was drowned in Regina's fluffy pajama pants and snuggled up by Cady's Mathleet sweater. She had put her hair into a hair clip, her freshly washed face was slightly layered with water.

Wordlessly she sat in the middle of them, implying she wanted some loving which they complied to without hesitation.

Regina played with Janis's hair as Cady held her as close as she allowed.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened baby?" Cady softly said she could see the tears threatening to form in Janis's eyes already.

Janis just borrowed her face further into the sweater, "no" she mumbled from our the pillows, not quite ready to come out with a explanation.

Cady glanced at Regina and they knew what to do next. Regina got up getting Janis's favorite things, first her favorite blanket, her favorite plush, and her favorite fidget too.

"Look Janis.." Regina smiled and chuckled wearily trying to coax the girl to look at her.

Janis finally turned from the pillows smiling once she saw what Regina was hauling.

They all stayed silent for a few minutes before Janis spoke up.

"everything was so annoying today.." They sat back and listened to Janis's explanation. waiting patiently for her to continue.

"These.. stupid girls, theyre so mean. They made fun of me." her breath hitching, "They made fun of my outfit, i dont think I'll ever wear it again."

"Those bitches, I bet they wouldn't know good fashion even if Alex Consani was standing right Infront of them." Regina mumbles.

"Awh baby.. don't listen to them. They obviously have zero sense of style," Cady kissed janiss forehead softly, "We loved your outfit its like you took us to school with you."

Janis smiled at their comments but it quickly faded when she remembered what else those girls did.

"Then they went on to say how we were a weird couple"

"What do they care about our relationship?" Regina asked genuinely confused.

"They're all up in my business." Janis closed her eyes trying not to get mad, "they called us things I will not dare to repeat."

Janis took a breather irritation creeping up her neck. "I really hate them." She looked at her hands, "every time I try to enjoy myself in that class they always fuck it up."

"Oh baby.." Cady coo'd pulling Janis deeper in her arms, "I'm so sorry, I wish I was there with you."

"What were their names?" Regina asked trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Chloe Borrow, Kayla Everson, and Ava Seamack"

"They're nobodies, and you shouldn't take their words to heart alright baby?"

Janis nodded she played with the figet as she calmed down.

She felt better that she got that out, everything in her brain felt clearer.

"It just was a really shitty day." Janis mumbled.

"What can we do to make it better baby?"

"can we just.. cuddle for a while?"

"Of course we can."

Regina and Cady snuggled up real close against Janis, holding her as if she was going to disappear. They hugged her as if she was a precious doll that needed hours of care to manufacture.

Janis fell asleep not too long after, the rest of the horrible events fading away, problems for another day.

"We love you Janis" Regina whispered, planting a kiss on her forehead.

-

Later, when Cady and Janis were off to bed, Regina went off to the porch. She called the school managers, since her father was practically funding the art programs she had a really big say in what happened down there.

She was completely pissed off on how three students who have been banned from the main building and were bullies were allowed in such an establishment as such.

Her tone was hot as she blew up their phone, threatening to no longer fund them if those girls weren't thrown out.

Regina smiled to herself. If those girls were going to fuck with Janis they were going to fuck with her too, and that's one thing you wouldn't want to do.

[willalove75]

Can I have protective Rebecca welton x reader where perhaps the reader and Rebecca are together and maybe they r at the bar and some creepy guy is harassing the reader and Rebecca gets rlly protective and punches the guy and maybe the reader gets rlly annoyed because Rebecca makes a scene so she storms outside and they have a fight and then they go home and go to bed angry and the next morning the reader apologies bc she/they realise Rebecca was just trying to protect her and they make up. Tysm !!!! ❤️🤍

Yes!! I love this! Thanks so much for the request!💕

TW: Handsy, creepy, drunk middle aged dude, lesbian slur.

You and your girlfriend Rebecca walk hand-in-hand down the street, you laugh and chat about the double date you just went on with Keeley and Roy. You head towards your flat when you pass one of the bars you frequent.

"Hey," you say stopping in front of it "what about a nightcap?"

"Yeah, why not. Is this place any good?"

"Well no one compares to Mae, but it's pretty good. Some of the guys that come in here are, shitty, but overall I like it here."

Rebecca raises an eyebrow at you.

"Shitty how?"

"You know, the usual middle-aged man that's out drinking by himself and is a little, creepy" Rebecca gives you a look "It's only happened once! Come on." As you pull her into the bar.

You both take a seat at the bar and order drinks. The bar is a little loud so you both lean in to each other to hear one another while you sip on your drinks. You chat and laugh as the second round comes out.

"I gotta pee, I'll be right back." You say as you get up.

You walk towards the bathroom; before you turn down the hall you feel someone grab your ass. You spin around and see a balding, middle-aged man. He sits back against the bar with a smirk on his face and a beer in his hands.

"Oi the things I'd do to that ass if you'd let me take you home." He says, just barely slurring his words.

"EW?" You say to him and go to turn around.

Out of the corner of your eye you see his hand reaching for you again, you spin around and grab him by the wrists and dig your nails into his arm.

"OW OW OW" He yells.

"I swear to god if you ever touch me again it will be the last thing you ever do. Got it?"

The man tries to get out of your grip but you dig your nails harder into his skin and draw a little blood.

"Got it?" You say, looking straight into his eyes with daggers in yours.

"Yeah I got it I got it let go of me!!"

You throw his wrist away and walk into the bathroom. You didn't notice but Rebecca saw a little of the interaction and looks concerned when you walk back.

"What was that? Are you okay?" She says with concern in her eyes.

"I'm fine baby," you say as you bring your hand to the back of her neck and stroke her cheek with your thumb to comfort her. "It was nothing, just some creepy drunk dude, being a creepy drunk dude. It's fine I handled it."

She looks over at the guy with a little fear, but mostly anger in her eyes.

"Hey," you say as you pull her back to your attention. "It's fine, I said I handled it, don't worry love."

She cups your face in her hand.

"Are you sure?" She says with worry in her eyes.

"Yes baby, I promise." You lean in and kiss her and you feel her relax. You pull away and look into her eyes "Okay?"

"Okay." She says softly.

You give her another quick kiss and you go back to your drinks and conversation. You both have another drink and you accidentally knock your jacket onto the floor. You hop off of the barstool and bend down to pick it back up. You turn to put it back on the hook under the bar and you feel another grab. You turn around and see the man again, just as pleased with himself as he was before.

"What did I fucking tell you-" You begin to say

"Are you FUCKING kidding me?!" You hear Rebecca yell. You look over and see her face, you don't think she's ever been this angry before. If looks could kill, this man would be dead where he stood.

"Baby-" You try to calm her down and you pull her face towards you "just ignore him" you say with pleading eyes.

She rips her face out of your hand and goes to yell at the man again.

"Oi would ya look at that, a couple of dykes, what I'd give to take the both of ya home. I'd set you straight right quick!" He laughs at his drunk buddies that laugh along with him.

You look over at Rebecca and you see something snap inside of her, the room slows down, Rebecca gets off of her stool and your try to grab her arm but she rips it away from you.

"Baby!" You yell at her.

Rebecca stands up, towering over the man, and starts screaming at him. You feel like everything is in slow motion, you notice the bar fall silent as she rips him a new one, shoving her finger in his face. She continues to yell at him, he's a little frightened, but the liquid courage flowing in his veins keeps him there, yelling back at her. You turn your head to see people looking at the three of you, watching the commotion. You look back at Rebecca and she's still screaming at him. Suddenly the slow motion ends and you hear her yelling at him.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TOUCH HER. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU TWAT. YOU COULDN'T GET A WOMAN TO SLEEP WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU PAID HER. YOU BETTER FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO HER RIGHT NOW" She yells and points at you.

You feel everyone's eyes shift to you and the room slows down again.

"Rebecca please!!!" You yell as tears start to fall from your eyes.

The man gets up into Rebecca's face. "No wonder your husband cheated on you so much, he didn't want to deal with your fucking crazy ass."

He spits down onto her shoes and goes to turn around, you look at Rebecca's face, suddenly calm, but in a terrifying way. You look down and see Rebecca's fist in a ball. You go to reach for her and the slow motion ends. Before the man is able to turn around Rebecca's arm goes flying, her fist making contact with his jaw, he falls to the ground.

"NO!" You yell

The bar erupts into chaos as people try to separate the two of them. The man tries to get up and fight back when a group of guys grab him and throw him out of the bar. Your eyes darting across the bar, everyone is yelling, either at the man or at Rebecca. You feel a panic build up in your chest as you look around the room.

You feel hands on your shoulders and look up, you see Rebecca looking down at you.

"Honey are you okay?"

"I told you to leave it alone!!!!" You yell at her. You quickly grab your stuff and run out of the bar.

Rebecca stands there in shock and confusion. She quickly pulls out cash and throws it on the bar and runs out after you.

"y/n!!!" She yells as you hear her heels on the pavement heading towards you.

Your run slows to a walk and you stop to catch your breath, the panic still in your chest and your head is spinning.

"Y/n!" Rebecca says as she catches up "What the fuck?!"

"I told you to ignore him!!!" You yell as you walk towards your flat.

"Are you kidding me? How was I supposed to ignore that?!"

You pull your keys out and unlock the door. You walk in and try to slam the door but Rebecca stops it.

"What's wrong with you?!" She yells as she walks in and closes the door behind her. "I defend you and you get mad at me?!"

"I didn't need you to defend me!!" You yell back "I told you to leave it alone and you didn't!! You fucking punched him!!"

Rebecca looks at you with hurt and confusion on her face.

"I shouldn't have hit him." She says looking down at her hand, her knuckles still red. "But I couldn't let him get away with harassing you!!"

"You should have!!" You yell, your breathing labored, the panic still in your chest.

Rebecca looks at you, her eyes shift from hurt to concern.

"Love," She says as she takes a step towards you.

"NO!" You yell and take a step back. You stand there for a second and head into the bedroom and slam the door.

"Honey," She says and walks to the door and goes to grab the handle. You hear her walking towards the door and you lock it before she's able to open it.

She hears the door lock and gently tries the handle.

"Y/n," she says through the door. "Love please open the door."

She stands there for a minute before walking away. You rip off your dress and throw on pajamas. Frustrated, you pull out a makeup wipe and drag it across your face and crawl into bed. Your heartbeat slows as your breathing returns to normal. The panic in your chest subsides and you can finally breathe again. You try to see if you can hear Rebecca in the house and without even realizing it, you're asleep.

You wake up the next morning to the sun shining into your window, you hear birds chirping, and you're greeted with a wicked headache. You think back on the events of the night, things seem fuzzy even though you didn't drink that much. You remember the guy at the bar and you remember Rebecca decking him. You remember feeling like you were drowning during the chaos and you remember what happened when you got home. Guilt fills your stomach as tears start to form in your eyes. You were horrible to her, but she was just protecting you.

You get out of bed and go to open the door and realize you locked it, you unlock it and walk out into your flat. You look around, afraid that she left and desperately hoping she's still here. You see her shoes tossed aside on the floor and you sigh a breath of relief. You walk into the kitchen and see her sitting at the table with a cup of tea in her hands. There's a little bit of makeup under her eyes, her hair is in a messy ponytail and she's still wearing the same dress from last night.

"Hey" you say sheepishly as you walk into the kitchen.

She looks up at you as you walk towards her "Good morning"

"You're still in the same outfit?" You ask as you sit down at the table with her.

"Well the door was locked so I didn't have much of a choice" she replies flatly.

You close your eyes and furrow your brows, you forgot, again, that you locked her out. You slowly open your eyes and look up to meet hers.

"I'm sorry." You say as your eyes start to glimmer as tears form on your waterline. You look down and see her hand holding the tea cup, her knuckles still a little red with a small bruises where her rings laid when she decked him.

You look down, ashamed of how you treated her, she protected you from some creep and in return, you were a raging bitch to her. You look back up and meet her eyes, you're surprised that she doesn't have anger in her eyes, she should by the way you treated her. Instead, you see hurt and concern.

"I am so sorry babe" you say as you rest your hand on her arm. "All you did was protect me and I-" you look down and start to cry "I was fucking horrible to you. And I don't know why. I'm so, so sorry."

She puts her tea cup down and grabs one of your hands and wipes away your tears with the other.

"What happened?" She asks, leaning into you.

"I don't know, the whole bar went into slow motion and I had this like, horrific feeling in my chest and everyone was looking at us and I wanted it to stop but I couldn't make it stop and-" you break down and cry more. "I don't know, I just fucking freaked out. And I took it out on you and I don't know why because you didn't deserve it and-"

You're interrupted by Rebecca as she gets up out of her chair and wraps her arms around you and pulls your head into her chest.

"Shhhh, it's okay." She says lovingly as she strokes your hair and kisses the top of your head. You begin to sob into her, she guides you up and into the living room. You both sit on the couch, her arms still wrapped tightly around you. She gently rocks you back and fourth as you cry. She continues to kiss your head and stoke your hair. "It's okay love, you're okay." She whispers to you.

You're able to collect yourself a little and look up at her, she places a kiss on your forehead and hugs you tighter. You wipe the tears from your eyes and sit up facing her. You look into her loving eyes, not a hint of anger or frustration behind them, you're amazed given how shitty you were to her last night. If the roles were reversed, you'd be pissed right now.

"Why aren't you mad at me? I was so shitty to you, you should be pissed at me right now!"

She gently brushes your hair out of your face. "Oh I was, if that's any consolation." she chuckles "but I get it now, baby, you were having a panic attack." She holds your face and looks into your eyes. You look back into hers, a little confused.

"Is that what that was?" You ask.

"I think so, you said you had a bad feeling in your chest, right?" You nod to confirm. "The whole room slowed down, you felt completely out of control?" You nod again, tears filling back up in your eyes. "That sounds like a panic attack to me. But it's okay, what happened was insane and I'm sure me punching that twat in the jaw probably didn't help - even though he did deserve it." She says with a smirk. You chuckle a little and hold her hand. You turn her hand over to look at her knuckles, you can see the bruises from her rings more clearly and you put your other hand over hers.

"Hey," she says and she lifts your chin up towards her "it's okay love, I'm fine. I'm not hurt and I'm not mad at you, I promise."

You wipe more tears from you eyes and look back down at her hand.

"Have you iced this yet?"

"Yes, I actually meant to tell you, I fell asleep with a bag of frozen vegetables on my hand so I had to throw them in the bin when I woke up." She says with a small chuckle. "I'll buy you more, I promise."

You laugh "No it's okay, they've been in there forever anyway. I don't even know why I bought them." You take a deep breath and look into her eyes. "Thank you." You lean into her and bury your face into her neck as you wrap your arms around each other. "Is there anything I can do to make up for me being shitty to you?" You ask as you pull back and look at her.

"Well you could let me wash up, I feel foul."

You both chuckle as you grab her hand.

"Okay, come on."

You lead her through your bedroom into the master bathroom. You close the door and turn the shower on and let it run for a minute. Rebecca grabs a makeup wipe and removes what's left of her makeup from last night. She goes to reach for the zipper on the back of her dress and you gently reach up and pull it down as she looks on over her shoulder. Her dress slides off her shoulders and down her waist, she pulls it over her hips and it falls to the floor. You reach up and unclip her bra, the straps slip down and she pulls it off. You put your hands on her hips and place gentle kisses across her back. You stand up on your tip toes to get as close to her neck as you can. She grabs your hand and pulls you in front of her with your back to the countertop. You go back to kissing across her collarbones and up her neck as she leans into you. She pulls your pajama shirt over your head and you pull your hair down. She slides her hand to the back of your head and pulls you in for a passionate kiss. Her soft skin pressed against yours, she places her other hand on your waist and holds you close. The steam starts to build from the hot shower as you part, she pulls off her underwear as you pull off the rest of your clothes and she leads you into the shower.

The hot water cascades down her body as she steps underneath it. She runs her hands through her hair, getting it properly soaked. You can't help but stare at her, she looks like an angel, her perfect hour glass figure, the water running over her breasts, down her belly to her feet. She opens her eyes and sees you looking at her and smirks.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just- you're amazing. Everything about you is amazing."

She smiles and takes a step towards you, her wet hands hold your face as she looks down at you, water droplets run down her face, her green eyes look so beautiful as she looks into yours. She pulls you into a kiss, her wet lips meeting yours. You put your hands on her hips as you lean back against the wall. She pulls away and gently bites her lip and smiles at you. You switch place and get your hair wet, Rebecca grabs her puff and gets it soapy, she brushes it across her body, lathering herself. She drags it across her shoulders and you take it from her hands and gently wash her back. She sighs and her head leans back. You drag the puff down her shoulders to her lower back in small circles, you bring it further and rub it across her perfect ass and giggle.

"Hey" she says with a laugh as she looks back at you.

You switch spots as she rinses off and you lather yourself up and wash. She shampoos and conditions her hair when you rinse and you grab your shampoo. You squirt the shampoo into your palm, rub your hands together and scrub it into your scalp. You feel a second set of hands massaging the shampoo into your head and you let out a sigh. You drop your hands as Rebecca gently runs her fingers through your hair, thoroughly washing it . Once she's satisfied, she takes the shower head and rinses the soap out of your hair. She grabs your conditioner, puts some into her hands and gently runs her fingers through your hair. She picks up your brush and gently brushes the conditioner through your hair, softly detangling any knots she comes across. She rinses your hair once more and you turn to face her, you pull her close and place your lips against hers. You come up on your tip toes and wrap your arms around her neck as she wraps her strong arms around your waist. You slowly kiss her as the water runs over and between your bodies, pressed up against each other. The hot water soothes the both of you as you feel the stress from last night wash away down the drain. The kiss ends and you stare into each others eyes for a moment.

"You ready?" She asks

"Yeah, I guess." You say reluctantly, not wanting to leave the warmth.

Rebecca turns off the taps and you step out and dry yourself off, wrap your towel around yourself and plop your hair up with your hair towel. Rebecca gets out, dries herself off and pulls her bathrobe over her shoulders and fastens it around her waist.

You walk out of the bathroom into the bedroom, you climb into the bed and pat the spot next to you for her to lay next to you. She walks over and lays next to you. You run your fingers through her wet hair, looking into her beautiful eyes. Even without makeup, she's the prettiest woman you've ever seen. She kisses you softly and pulls you into her. You rest your head on her chest and listen to her heartbeat. You both peacefully drift off to sleep in each others arms.

[ravi-is-my-beloved]

TW/CW: Death Threats, Homophobia, Toxic Fans

Funny how BT fans who wish violence on real life people are always like "Actual gay people see homophobes joking about shooting a gay character" and "being a lesbian doesn't excuse you from being homophobic" when that's no longer the problem.

The problem isn't whether or not someone's homophobic for wishing death on a fictional character, the problem is y'all talking about how y'all get uncomfortable with seeing it while you forget to think about how lesbians must feel when seeing you wish death upon them. Y'all love to preach about how "real life gay men see this and feel unsafe" and then go on to make another marginalized group (who also are killed regularly) feel unsafe in this fandom.

Do they not deserve to feel safe in this fandom too? Do the queer women who don't joke about Tommy dying deserve to see you tell someone with the same identity as them to die?

And don't come at me with the argument that the lesbians you're wishing death are homophobic and homophobes deserve it, because then where does the line get drawn in the sand?

If a lesbian who gets slurs and death threats thrown their way by BT fans get the right to wish death upon those fans? Do they get to tell you that they hope you choke and they'd punch you in the face? And what about the fans who are racist, do the people they're racist against get to say those racist fans should die?

I've seen BT fans say that people who joke about killing a gay character should seek help, but those are the same people who should also seek help. Because thinking you can wish death on people (fictional or real) isn't something that you can just excuse away by bringing up others' actions.

You're no better and you should stop acting like you have a moral high ground when you do the same disgusting behavior you call out.

[charlies-palace]

If you care about queer people then please understand not all of us WANT to be called queer. It isn't an insult to you!

It's not an insult to me. It's an insult to tag posts of queer users with "tw q slur". And I'm honestly so fucking done pretending this is a reasonable debate.

Do you know how many times I've been called gay as an insult? Did you know I don't like hearing the word gay because it genuinely spikes my anxiety due to how much it's been used as an insult? Do you know how often I have to pretend "that's so gay" wasn't said in my presence?

"if you care about queer people" I am queer, if you couldn't see the lesbian flag in my pfp. I am queer and I care much more about my community than anyone arguing against the use of the word queer does.

Hope this helps!

[ch-4-eri]

I think I die a little on the inside whenever I see men shipped with Claire or Jill, and even more so when the fandom (mostly men tbh) harass people over a HEADCANON ffs like (Tw for like sadly standard homophobia 💀) I made a joke about Jill being lesbian replying to someone (that person ended up agreeing w me but whatever) but when I tell u for like 2 days my phone notifications where j “capcom never confirmed it” “she gets married to Chris” “*slur against lesbian women* just say shes gay to make themselves feel better” like can yall get a grip and go outside 💀

they’re the same ones who also ship chris and wesker or chris and leon and no one says anything, lesbians are so demonized, being called a lesbian is an insult nowadays to so many people as if male validation is all that, mlm is okay but wlw isn’t apparently 😞

[the-bad-advice-blog-3]

That bad advice blog!!!

anyone from any background or problem is allowed here!

(be mindful if it's related to your sex-life and or sex we cannot help we have minus 200 experience in that field as also a vast majority of religions and beliefs. we are not an infinite chasm of knowledge we are a bunch of stupid people trying to help with awful awful advice.)

yes this means

therians

systems (any type)

queer people of all types (yes, bi-lesbians/bi-gays, xenogendered people, and mspec lesbians and fspec gays. you are welcome!)

aroaces

mentally ill people

disabled people

neurodivergent people

vegans

carnists

atheists

theists

and more!

below are people who we would love if they didn't interact!

unless they are seeking advice to turn their lives around then?? okay! just be kind and courteous I will report you into the shadow realm if you are not!!!

DNI

Nazi's, neonazi's, transnazi's, xenonazi's/antisemtites

terf's/radfems

radqueers/transID people (fuck off)

saneists (the people who discriminate against the mentally ill)

ableists

transphobes/homophobes

nonbinary exclusionaries

anti-xenogender

normal DNI people (racists and such)

and more to be added

this is a blog to give advice! if it takes us a good 10+ days to get back whoops sorry!

DISCLAIMER!

we are not registered anythings, we are horrible at advice take it with a huge grain of salt and I mean a spoon full!

if you think we are using wrong information feel free to correct us! we are trash at some things

we will act emotionally and also stoically it depends on who's answering

RULES FOR ASKS!

always add trigger warnings for your topics (eg, tw sa, tw animal death, tw death, tw transphobia, ect.) (just if it's incredibly dark, if it isn't you don't have to worry!)

try not to use slurs (it's okay to use them to describe your experiences or what someone said that's fine! just don't use slurs you can't reclaim.)

more to be added.

[rose-grimm-spirit-does-dumb-shit]

https://www.tumblr.com/rose-grimm-spirit-does-dumb-shit/715689037962280960?source=share all of them for alton towers/theme parks in general but I'm especially curious to hear 25

Oh fuck I forgot to respond for almost a year. Warning, a lot of the "god I hate the fandom" moments will mostly be directed at the wider community {e.g. this includes the old toxic nemesis fanboy 40 year old men and such}. The tumblr side of theme parks most of the time have semi-good takes. Anyways uh first on the docket 25: I fucking hate how for some god awful reason there's a consistent hate for the Dockyard Trio at thorpe, I'm talking The Walking Dead: The Ride, Ghost Train, and the late Black Mirror Labyrinth. Like come the fuck on man, give them a chance. They're great, especially if the circumstances align, what you want is a live actor tw day, a dead queue bml run {the high guest throughput is unfortunately what made her seem more shit than she is}, and to just let Ghost Train do her thing as her acting squad are honestly a lovely bunch who wanna give you the best they can.

24: I think right now it's who the world record for fastest accelerration on a rollercoaster is, it rightfully belongs to my bbygirl Stealth of course but if you try to talk about this to Americans, especially Six Flags Americans they will be inherently pissed because it's not Max Force.

23: There is none that I've come around to, but then again there is none I'm inherently against either.

22: The fact that the Marmaliser is it's own sentient being, it's creature but not crreature it's creature inn like how humanns are creature.

21: The 2019 Blair witch scaremaze at Fright Nights, because I'm sorry but it was genuinely dogshit. The finale was a shed that you can't see shit in, and there was supposed to be an actor there.

20: Do I need to bring up Blair Witch 2019, again.

19: I'm a Dead Creek Woods lover, and so many people would shit upon me for that take.

18: LYCANS V AMITY, SO MANY OF YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THAT AND BIRTHDAY BASH TO THE POINT THAT IT'S SAD. THEY'RE AMAZING, SHSUT UP.

17: Can we get Saw/Hyperia actually, they seem incredibly enemies to lovers/besties lesbian. That and general interactions between them in general, like Hyp kept cutting Saw's power over the summer I want people to expand upon that.

16: The idea of Th13teen being a child, like c'mon man just because the adverts had a child and the countdown audio iis a child doesn't mean your oc has to be a child too?

Branch out, be adventureous. Maybe your th13teen is a raceway-membeer who went missing.

15: The Smiler being a silly guy, like silly guy is fun and I admit I commiit to osilly guy too. But the thingi is, Smiler is more than that. Yes Marmal is a silly guy but she alsoo has issues and traumas and witnesses some cracked shit in the moj.

14: See above.

13: S E E A B O V E.

12: Everyone from Thorpe Carnival, especially the Junkyarders. Please they're so cool and fun and the actors who play them are legends, we drew mimes and they thought it was fucking amazing.

If they come back next year, please giive them the world.

11: I have none, tho I did learn that there was a point when we considered General Public as a slur fsr?

10: How whenever you look up Thorpe maps, you wilil be guaranteed to see someone's map mockups where it has planet snoopy and shit like that. The existence of them is annoying bc it clogs up search when you're looking for a specific map only to find 20 fan mockups instead.

9: The Asylum, I am so glad we've moved from that but god... Not the mental institution maze...

8: Holds up the Dockyard Trio, again.

7: I don't think there's anyone.

6: Whenever Stealth or Rita are in a straight ship it fucking irks me out of raw "broooo...", tho I think the only exception is RetrowaveRacer's bc that one doesn't bollock the vibes of Rita.

5: I've only been in 2 ddsicords, both were/are lovely. But I have heard so much bollocks about the others :)

4: Conocerningly, a lot of the time it's either pedophiliia, racisim, or ableism.

3: Gonna name drop this one as ironcially it's someone who was blocked because of the above. ANYONE REMEMBER MTCHIKA'S DOGSHIT THORPE TAKES ABOUT INFERNO "NOT DESERVING TO BE A NEMESIS" AND TWD BEING AND I QUOTE "boring ip boring ride".

2: I don't think about it nor do I have an opinioni on it.

1: Fuckin' Nemesis, entirerly because there are people who forget the fact that she's cannonically a woman.

Happy now?

[the-crystalized-cosmos]

Welcome to The Crystalized Cosmos

[PT: Welcome to The Crystalized Cosmos /end PT]

This is a place for us to coin terms, share our wordmojis, as well as just kinda do our own thing. Everything will be tagged, so if you don't want to see one of those, feel free to block that tag. Most of the terms we use are easily found upon googling, but feel free to ask what something means! General Heads up that we are not consistent! We may post several things at once, then nothing for a week. Energy varies, we'll be back soon enough.

There's a lot more under the cut, including a general "About Us" section, BYF/DNI, how we handle various accessibility features, and a general overview of our tagging system. Fair Warning it is long, but sectioned to help against some of the visual overwhelmingness.

Pronouns and general info can be found on our pronouns.cc (pronouns.cc link). All terms and flags are free to use by anyone. Anyone can make an alt flag/synonym for our term. Please just give us credit for the original coining.

[ID: A thin light red line. /End ID]

About Us

[PT: About us /End PT]

We're a system primarily made up of 2 side systems and a large sparsystem, and a second sparsystem. We're a mediple mixed origin specutien system, however specifics differ between sisasystems. Our overall host (and main blog keeper) is Zev, who has been frontstuck most of our life. Overall we're trans nonbinary genderfluid, aspec omni, and polyamorous, though obviously this differs by headmate. We're also intersex.

We are both neurodivergent and physically disabled in several ways. This includes Autism and ADHD, Multiple Personality Disorders, RSD, a Tic Disorder, Breathing Problems, and more. We are currently a nearly full time cane user (full time when not home, part time at home), and are a part time AAC user due to speech and typing ability loss episodes.

More info on individual blog keepers can be found at on our pronouns.cc (pronouns.cc link) but it is a huge wip currently, so be warned.

[ID: A thin light yellow line. /End ID]

BYF: (Before You Follow)

[PT: BYF: (Before You Follow) /End PT]

Our "Before You Follow" list is a list of our identities/beliefs that may make you want to not interact with us, however we have no rules around any interactions revolving things on this list.

We are bodily an adult

We are not comfortable using Tulpa for our created headmates in any way, however do not care if someone else uses it.

There will probably be cussing on this page. It will be tagged, but you've been warned.

We reclaim slurs, a lot. We, collectively and as individuals, find them important to our identity. They will be tagged, but not TW or CW.

[ID: A thin light green line. /End ID]

DNI/DNF: (Do Not Interact/Do Not Follow)

[PT: DNI/DNF: (Do Not Interact/Do Not Follow) /End PT]

Anti Endos, Sysmeds

Anyone fine with sharing anti-endo rhetoric/post into spaces that are supposed to be safe spaces for endos. We're fine if you interact (comment, reblog, etc), but don't want you following. An exception is wikis and archive blogs. This rule is loose, and we are more lenient on it, but trust our personal moderation for us best.

Anti Mspec Monos (bi lesbian, omni turian, etc)

Anti Lesboys, Turigirls, etc

Don't believe being any form of Aspec or Intersex is inherently queer on its own.

Anti Xeno- or otherwise Neo- genders, Anti Neopronouns or other form of Pronoun Nonconformity (She/Her Gays, He/Him Nonbinary, etc)

Believe non-physical disabilities belong in cripple punk (I will not debate what counts as physically disabled. If you use the label physically disabled, you can be a part of cripple punk, if you do not, you are not a part of it).

Radqueer/TransID (TransID in the Radqueer way specifically, not from the communities they stole terms from)

Generally a bigot (Homophobic, Transphobic, Racist, Ableist, you get the point)

We reserve the right to block whoever we want for any reason we want (and do), and encourage you to do the same.

[ID: A thin light blue line. /End ID]

Accessibility

[PT: Accessibility /End PT]

Plain Text:

Plain text is text that a screen reader can read without breaking, and in Tumblr is needed for everything that is not regular text (like this), a list format, and indented text.

We add plain text in the following format you've seen throughout this post which is [PT: example /End PT]. We also make it indented for easier visual separation.

"Why do you bother using formats if you have to write plain text?"

We mostly use plain text for Header formats. This is because headers help us not get visually overwhelmed when reading our posts, and make it easier for us to read.

Image Descriptions:

An Image Description is a text describing what an image looks like. We will primarily do these for flags, emojis, and dividers as we don't plan to post any other pictures (but will describe all images we post).

Image Descriptions follow the format you've seen in this post, and look like the following [ID: example /End ID], and are indented for easy visual separation.

"Why don't you use alt text?"

We don't use alt text for a few reasons! 1: it commonly breaks on tumblr, while in-post IDs don't. 2: we actually find them inaccessible! While we don't need them for most posts, images with a lot of words are inaccessible to us, as we cannot highlight to keep track of words, and cannot read it otherwise. Alt text is not highlightable! So it is just as inaccessible to us as the image itself for us.

Dividers and Headers:

As mentioned, and as you have likely noticed, we use both dividers and headers a lot in our posts. While we understand this isn't the most accessible to screen readers, we tend to get very visually overwhelmed when looking at long posts without separation. Headers and Dividers make finding parts of a post fast, easy, and mean we can read back our own posts. But as stated we always transcribe these for screen readers, and keep it simple too avoid overwhelming everyone.

TQs:

This is a section we will add to, once we've decided how we plan to handle this.

However, some of us do have involuntary TQs, and it causes us the same pain to translate in the moment as it does trying to force a not scribal headmate to type. It doesn't work.

They are allowed to make posts here. This is not debatable. We are currently trying to figure out the best accessibility option on posts, that doesn't require completely erasing their TQs, as that is a part of them and deserves as much recognition as a member not being able to talk or type.

These posts will be tagged, and we understand sometimes access needs are incompatible. However, if you will be pissy about this, get out. We will not debate the validity of what you think members "can" do, or "should" do.

[ID: A thin light purple line. /End ID]

Tagging Format

[PT: Tagging Format /End PT]

This is not a comprehensive list of common tags on post, but just general guide to how we tag stuff.

Poster:

Each post will be signed by who posted it with a dash (-) after the hashtag and before the name (ex: #-Zev). If multiple folks post together, each name will be separate (ex: #-Scribs #-Adrian). You may also see roles if it's from just most or all of the folks who have that role (ex: #-NPD Holders).

Along with this, you may see #-Translator for some folks who cannot type on their own. We wont put who the translator was as to keep the focus on who created the post, whether they typed it or not.

We also tag reblogs as #-Reblog and add the member who reposted it (so if Zev reblogs something, you'll see both #-Reblog and #-Zev)

Accessibility Tags:

We tag posts as either #Has PT or #Needs PT if they have or need plain text respectively. Same with #Has ID or #Needs ID.

We will tag any posts we suspect of being eyestrain-y as #Eyestrain. This helps us immensely, and helps a lot of others too. However despite being heavily affected, we may miss something. If you find something eyestrain-y that we do not tag, please either send us an ask or message us! Preferably with the link.

We also plan to tag any posts with a non screen reader safe Typing Quirk as #TQ and #No PT.

We will not be posting any videos with jump scares or flashing lights, and therefore do not have tags for them.

Please let us know if we need to tag anything else for accessibility!

Slurs and Cussing:

We will not tag usage of slurs with a TW or CW. We will instead tag them as #Reclaimed Slur as well as the slur itself like #Cripple.

We do not tag individual cuss words, nor do we tag these as a TW or CW, but just tag them in general as #Cussing.

Creations:

We plan on coining terms (as well as flags to go with most if not all the flags), as well as wordmojis (emojis of words) that we use for communication. While we don't actively advertise requests, we are willing to at least contemplate requests (and very likely to do it for wordmojis, terms take more energy).

We will tag terms as #Terms, flags as #Flags, wordmojis as #Wordmojis and #Custom Emoji. They will also be tagged as other things related to it (so queer centered wordmojis will be tagged as #queer wordmojis and what the actual words are such as #lesbian wordmojis).

However #Terms, #Flags, and #Wordmojis are good things to search if you're looking for something here!

Bonus Tags!

#Hazrds Hoard - Hazards identities #I refuse to be silent - Blade's (mostly punk) stuff

Other Things To Look Out For:

This blog will likely have bug talk, and bug pics, tagged as #Bugs #TW Bugs #Bug Talk and #Bugs #TW Bugs #Bug Pics respectively.

We are also likely to posts Vents (#Venting), and Complaints (#Complaining) so feel free to block that if you want. (Vent is more heavy than complaints, complaints tend to be little things that annoy us).

We also tag especially system/plurality focused posts as #Pro Endo and #Endo Safe.

Again, this is not an exhaustive list, but might help some folks better filter content.

[mystic-ocs]

Spin the Bottle

Word Count: 1,039

TW: Underage drinking and kissing, slight misgendering as Zane hadn't come out yet and Yashira refers to them and Atticus as "her boys".

I was working on OC Kiss 2024 when I realized this didn't quite fit the prompt, so I decided to finish it and post it here. Takes place when Yashira was in high school (so ~8 years ago).

Yashira leans against the wall as she sips at the cup of vodka someone had offered her. This party was turning out to be kind of lame, and she almost envies Atticus for skipping it to hang out with Zane instead. She wishes she’d done the same. She considers leaving and doing just that, maybe after sobering up a little since alcohol was a trigger for Zane, but then Rose bounds up to her.

“Shira! Come join us!”

Yashira pulls her arm back. “Join us in what?”

“Spin the bottle.”

She considers going with her initial though of just leaving, but the idea of kissing leading to getting laid makes her second guess that decision. “I guess I could do one round.”

Rose cheers as she leads her over to a circle of people sitting around an empty bottle of alcohol (she isn’t knowledgeable enough yet to tell what kind given the lack of label). “Got one more.”

She can’t help but feel a little resentful when the boys around her cheer, likely expecting an easy lay if they get her. Then again, she’d been thinking about the exact same thing just moments before so can she really judge them all that harshly?

She takes a seat between Rose and a guy she vaguely recognizes as being in the grade below her but can’t remember his name.

At first the game proceeds normally, but after a couple spins and even more alcohol, the kisses start getting more intense. Then it happens.

Yashira reaches out to spin the bottle, looking bored as it spins past the boys to land on… Rose.

Somehow that was the first same sex kiss that had come up, and Yashira’s only mildly surprised that it would happen to her. “Well. Uh…”

Rose shrugs despite the cheering around them. “You can spin again if you like.”

“Nooo,” someone slurs. “No one else got a respin.” This naturally leads into people cheering “Kiss her. Kiss her.”

Yashira shrugs. “I guess I can try anything once.” She crawls closer to Rose. “If you’re okay with it, I mean.” She knew Rose was an out lesbian, but she wasn’t sure how the other girl would feel about being used as an experiment.

“Shira, baby, you’re too hot to say no to.”

Yasihra laughs. “Fair enough.”

She cups Rose’s neck and pulls her closer, ignoring the drunken cheers that erupt around her as she kisses her.

To her surprise, the kiss isn’t as unpleasant as she would’ve imagined. It was warm and dry (unlike some of the guys she’d kissed) and Rose’s lips were softer than anyone she’d ever kissed before. It was… interesting.

She feels Rose’s tongue trail along her lower lip and opens her mouth, eager for more. She can’t remember the last time kissing a guy had felt this good. If it ever had. Did this make her a lesbian?

She eventually pulls away when the need to breathe gets too great. Rose beams at her. “Now, I get to say I’ve kissed the hottest girl at school,” she jokes.

Yashira laughs. “That’s not as big of an honor as you seem to think it is.” She’d kissed a lot of boys before, after all.

“Ah, but how many girls can say they’ve had the honor?”

Yashira tilts her head. “Fair enough.”

A few minutes later, Rose gets up to get more to drink and Yashira follows her. “Sooo… about that kiss before.”

Rose grabs a beer from the fridge. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I might’ve gotten a little carried away. I just… you’re so-”

Yashira interrupts her, “I wasn’t uncomfortable. I actually, uh,” she looks around anxiously. “It was… nice. I was… I was kinda wondering if you’d like to do it again.”

Rose blinks. “Excuse a what now?”

“Would you like to do it again?” Yashira asks, now feeling self-conscious.

Rose continues to stare. “I’m dreaming, right?”

Yashira reaches out to pinch her, chuckling when Rose yelps. “Nope.”

“Then hell yes.” Yashira would later find out that Rose had had a crush on her since the moment Atticus introduced them. 

“Are you sure it’s okay though? This… I’m not sure I’m gay. I just-”

“Want to experiment?” Rose finishes for her. Yashira nods. “Yeah. I… I normally wouldn’t be, but it’s you. And we’re friends. I think?”

“Of course.” She wasn’t as close to Rose as she was to Atticus and Zane, but there were very few people she liked as much as she liked as much as her boys.

“Then yeah. It’s cool.”

“Cool.”

Yashira grabs Rose’s wrist and leads her up to one of the empty rooms around the house where the party was being held. “So I don’t know how lesbian sex works, so I’d rather just stick to making out.”

Rose chuckles. If she can tell Yashira is nervous, she doesn’t comment. “Fine by me.”

Yashira nods. “Right.”

Rose settles on the bed and pats the space beside her. “Come sit.” Yashira obeys. “You were so confident about kissing me earlier,” she teases.

Yashira snorts. “Earlier I wasn’t questioning my sexuality.”

“I imagine it’s not much different from kissing a boy,” Rose comments. “Just with more boobs.”

Rose nestles up against Yashira, putting an arm around her waist as they lay down. “Just relax. I’d say pretend you’re kissing a boy, but that might defeat the purpose.”

Before Yashira has a chance to answer, Rose leans in and kisses her again, immediately working to deepen the kiss, which Yashira allows. 

At first, it continues to have that weird feeling that she’d gotten earlier, but as time goes by, it becomes easier. After a couple kisses, it becomes clear what part of the problem is. She’s never been the submissive in a role before, and she’s not about to start now.

She hooks a leg over Rose’s and flips them so she’s on top. Rose gasps, bucking against her in her surprise. “S-sorry,” Rose stammers. “I-you-that… fuck, that was hot.”

Yashira chuckles. “It’s fine. No sex, but everything else is fine.”

Rose nods. “Right. Yes. Good. More kissing?”

“Yes, please.”

Rose entwines her fingers in Yashira’s hair, tugging her down back to her level and kissing her once more.

[cripplecore]

hi there! call me parker, my pronouns are he/they, it/its and basically any neos, so feel free to try out any you want if you'd like :) (sideways smile)

this is a sideblog for disability talk and activism surrounding it— my main blog is @fear-ze-queer if you want to check that out!

i have:

- pots (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome)

- cfs/me (chronic fatigue syndrome)

- hypermobility

- unnamed joint pain, likely related to my other disabilities

- probably more that i'm missing

i am a cane user! its name is ingram :) (sideways smile). i hope to get a rollator in the near future as well.

i have several neurodivergencies and mental illnesses as well; i use tone indicators and i ask that you do the same when talking to me, as i have trouble interpreting tone

i am plural & host of an endogenic system— i don't know how much i'll talk about that here, but i've ran across a lot of anti-endo blogs, so i want to make that known

i'm queer and reclaim most of the slurs that i can use (f slur, t slur, c slur, etc) so if that bothers you, this blog is for you

i tag triggers with "tw ___", feel free to ask me to tag things you need/i may have missed! ask box is always open

i am new to image descriptions, so please be patient with me! i'm doing my best to be as accessible as i can. if anybody has tips on how to do that better, PLEASE let me know!!!

important posts:

disability tools/resources masterpost

PSA on ableism+writing disabled characters

no-prep food tray hack

disney's 'gay days'

list of sign language resources

dni below the cut

dni if: racist, misogynistic, queerphobic (including if you're against aros and aces, enbies, xenogenders, microlabels, contradictory labels, mspec gays/lesbians/etc), against reclaiming slurs, plural/sysphobic including sysmeds/anti-endogenic, ableist towards ANY sort of disability, a terf/swerf/fart or w/e, support jkr/still like HP, a p*do/MAP, against any sort of good faith identities, a dsmp blog (nothing against y'all, but i see it all the time and it's getting annoying), 18+/NSFW blog or anything of the sort (i'm a minor and asexual), conservative/republican, a hateful christian/ christian adjacent, a n*zi/fascist; i may be missing some stuff & will add later

[vintage-bentley]

Hi! I need to inform you that I decided to watch GO after stumbling upon your blog, and now I'm OBSESSED. What have you done? The show has completely consumed me. YOU CAN'T IMAGINE. And it's so nice to see that there is an unapologetically gender-critical side of the fandom. It makes my fandom experience much more enjoyable. So I wanted to thank you for basically making me watch this show❤ And please could you recommend some other shows or movies that you like? (I've already added First Kill to my list) Please please please

Have a nice day😊❤😘

YESSSSSS ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US O

I’m so happy to hear you enjoyed the show and that you were able to find the gender critical side of the fandom! 💖 It really does make the fandom experience more enjoyable to know you won’t have to deal with a ridiculous amount of unchecked sexism and homophobia. Funnily enough, it was that aspect of the fandom that led me to peaking!

First I’d recommend that you read the book if you haven’t already. It does have homophobic slurs, but it’s still a very good book and it’s interesting to see the differences between it and the show, especially in the characterisation of Aziraphale and Crowley!

As for shows other than First Kill…

First is of course, Our Flag Means Death. It’s a lightheaded comedy about pirates, specifically Stede Bonnet, the Gentleman Pirate. Who is eerily similar to Aziraphale. The way they wrote Blackbeard is also very similar to Crowley in certain ways, and there’s lots of similarities between OFMD and GO in general that I won’t go into much for the sake of not spoiling it. If you like GO and you like pirates, you’ll probably like OFMD. It’s second season just came out at the beginning of the month, and it’s fairly easy to get through because there’s only 18 episodes of the show in total, each around 25 minutes. Unlike GO I would say the second season ends on a satisfying note.

What We Do in the Shadows is one of my favourites, the basic premise is “what if vampires were idiots”. It’s a mockumentary following a house of vampires and their human familiar (voluntary slave) who is the only competent one in the entire house. It’s hilarious in my opinion, and all the characters are really interesting. Nadja is a very well written female character I think, because she’s allowed to be stupid and doesn’t fall into the trope of “woman is the only one with a brain cell and is constantly exhausted by taking care of idiot men”. It seems like they were going to go in that direction in season 1, but quickly flipped it around. There’s also a movie about different characters which is hilarious. The actor who plays Blackbeard in OFMD is in it.

(I should mention that GO, OFMD, and WWDITS seem to have a huge crossover in fans, and are often considered to be a “big three” similar to SuperWhoLock despite not being as insane lol. Personally, I think First Kill deserves the third spot so much more than WWDITS, because I think it’s main plot with the characters is closer to GO and OFMD than WWDITS. But it’s an F/F show so I guess it’s to be expected that it’s overlooked).

I’d also highly recommend Lucifer on Netflix. It’s based on a Neil Gaiman comic, and I feel like it’s similar enough to GO that GO fans would enjoy it? The premise is that the Devil takes a vacation to Earth, finds he really enjoys it and decides to stay permanently against the wishes of Heaven. He becomes a civilian consultant for a detective named Chloe, so each episode involves a case they have to crack which I find really interesting. Lucifer always manages to make the case about himself and often uses it to work through his religious trauma. Also he goes to therapy. TW: heterosexuality, but there’s an F/F relationship in later seasons that I love.

Derry Girls is one of my favourites, it’s about teens growing up during the Troubles in Ireland. It’s mostly a cast of women save for one guy, and there’s a very well written lesbian character. It’s a rare instance of teens, specifically teen girls, being written and acted realistically, as there’s no glamorisation or sexualisation. They’re all just awkward idiots. I highly recommend it. It’s really lighthearted and funny but given the setting it has some really emotional moments that are so good. The ending of season one always makes me cry.

Some honourable mentions that I love but don’t have as much to say about, in rough order of how much I like them:

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer and by extension it’s spin-off Angel (this is actually one of my favourites, I just don’t have much to say because it’s fairly self-explanatory!)

-Shadow and Bone (based on a book series I haven’t gotten around to reading yet)

-Prodigal Son (has Michael Sheen and a female character who’s likely sociopathic and I love her)

-Cunk on Earth (parody of history documentaries, representation for stupid women)

-Inside Man (seems to be really unpopular, but I loved it. David Tennant is the lead)

-Warrior Nun (SUPER boring at first, but gets interesting)

That’s all I can think of right now! Thank you for your kind words and I hope you find something out of these shows that you enjoy! 💖

[boreal-sea]

Thoughs on this? www.tumblr.com/xxanon-drama/724549082383826944/

TW for the link: The Anon is a radfem who goes on a fascist rant and uses a huge number of slurs including racist, antisemtic, islamophobic, sexist, and transphobic slurs. She also uses dehumanizing language.

She's a fascist. Her being a "black latino lesbian" doesn't change her fascism. She is antisemitic and islamophobic, she is racist against PoC - including against her fellow latinos - and she is quite frankly a horrific human being. She thinks all amab people are subhuman, she literally says so, "they're below animals as "Inteligent" creatures" and "Only women are people".

She is a seriously fucked up person and I hope she manages to find some healing or something.

[elliebirdwrites]

On Fannish Nostalgia

(Crossposted from Dreamwidth)

@snowflakechallenge Challenge Day 3: In your own space, Scream Into the Void. Get it all out.

Maybe not so much screaming as waxing nostalgic for a time when young people weren’t going around screaming “pedophile” at authors. Nostalgic for a time when Tumblr tags weren’t filled with “r*pe tw” and stupid words like “unalive,” when we didn’t have to bite our tongue and watch what we say so we aren’t dragged through mud because we dare to have an opinion that goes against whatever the morality police are hissing about at the moment. Nostalgic for writing underage (or RPF or a dozen other things) without having to lock down the fic, moderate comments and disclaim any bashing will be deleted. I have found a new fandom and for the first time in years, I’m having fun writing and commenting, and engaging. But every time I sit down to write, I censor myself. I want to write loving, sexy porn between a fictional seventeen-year-old and his twenty-one-year-old boyfriend. And it’s exhausting. I hate that the loudest part of fandom are these kids who come into my space and the spaces of others to tell me – a 41-year-old lesbian who lived in the Castro at 8 years old and watched her mom nurse dying men – that queer is a slur. I am nostalgic for the early 2000s when fandom was on LJ and my friendslist was (mostly) queer folks 5-10 years older than me, writing beautiful fic and meta and allowing me to learn from them, make mistakes and grow. I’m a better person because of what being in fandom in those safe places taught me and I hate that it’s so much harder to find those places now. I wish so much that things were different with regard to fandom. I suppose that’s why I’m trying, once again, to make this a place where I can share my thoughts and not have to worry that the only interaction will be 3 anons calling me a terrible person. I don’t make a habit of “screaming into the void” because I try to be optimistic, for no other reason than my life is easier when I am. I don’t think LJ was perfect. But I miss being able to explore my own identity, my own likes and dislikes, fantasies and kinks through fic and posts and interactions with others, without having it turned into judgment about the kind of person I am.