#tw self harm marks

[triple-pupil]

Felt a tad bit weird today.

So have my boy feeling weird too.

[butchhamlet]

just saw a hamlet and god someone please let me play hamlet someday please god every time i watch hamlet i start thinking about how i would play hamlet. the answer to which btw is extremely frantic and personal with the audience. no shakespeare voice on this bitch. neurotic wired compulsion doer who won't stop making uncomfortable "you seeing this shit?" eye contact with people in the front row. can't stop getting misgendered by his uncle. hasn't slept in days. coming in from backstage bleeding randomly down his sleeves. compulsively put hand sanitizer on after claudius talked to him and then tasted it off his finger and gagged. do you get what im saying. i could be such a good weird little freak

[eraserheadbabies]

i have no mouth and i must scream by harlan ellison / severance (2022-) dir. ben stiller and aoife mcardle

[wolfmanritch]

some random saw stuffs

[dixxiemaegraphics]

The majority of my art trade pieces with @avocadoraisin !!! This was so fun (and I still have more I need to finish and add). A little more Hoffman in suspenders, but also him bein’ nice to Amanda and Perez, and a fun little Hoffstrahm coffee shop au!

Thanks for doin’ a little trade with me! 😊

[astraltoxinart]

It’s calling to you…

Don’t Go To Sleep.

[ch3rr13zk1n]

I don't think its even subtle

[loonybun]

fun trauma t-shirts with vian and koi

[swampbrick]

“And I'm too clever; and then I'm too fucking dumb.”

song: messy by lola young

edit by: me! (tiktok posting)

[fishypapp]

hangin on by a threaaadddd

first detailed ego drawing in a whilleeeee lol

came up w an actor mark idea but in didn’t go the way i wanted it to so i kept the drawing and did something else w it and here we isss

i’m not good at lighting i just do what looks cool don’t judge 💔

[missfortuneisblue]

Miss Fortune a.k.a. Allison “Alice” Morrigan: [28] Born into a traveling circus and carnival, Alice was the life of her beloved parents, who were aerobatic performers who often did amazing feats on the tightrope suspended above the audience. The famous duo, “Lewy & Suzy” (Lewis and Susan Morrigan) an Irish and Japanese couple, husband and wife respectively. At the age of ten, tragedy struck in Alice’s life when her parents were brutally murdered by an “unsatisfied” patron after a show. She was the first to find their bodies on the floor in their trailer. After that, her life was a spiral downhill.

Even after improving on her knife throwing, sword swallowing, and acrobatics, and showing her excellent grades from her online courses, the ringleader and the circus management forced her to become one of the clowns in fear that she might become a hazard to others. And despite her attempts to prove that she wouldn’t be a problem, she ended up proving their point when she was on the tightrope wire trying a new act when she saw her parents performing in front of her, causing her to go into shock and falling backwards. Thankfully there was a net placed to catch her. She permanently became a clown afterwards.

Taking on the stage name “Mad Alice” for her clown persona at age 16, Alice became one of the most beloved characters at the circus due to her expressive and wild personality. All the young children would come up to her to get a hug or autograph, telling her she reminded them of Alice from “Alice in Wonderland”. The rest of the clowns absolutely despised the attention Alice was receiving, despite her being the one that brings more and more people every show. It also didn’t help that her mental state was becoming more deteriorated after being diagnosed with schizophrenia, pseudobulbar affect (PBA), PTSD, Anosognosia, and Atypical depression.

At 17, Alice started sneaking into the lion and tiger cages to feed them their daily meals, slowly befriending them. Every day, Alice would speak to them as if they are having a conversation—and they were, in her head. The lions and tigers would tell her about all of the abuse they endured during their time in captivity, and how much they wish to rip into the animal tamers’ guts to show them a lesson.

During aftershows, Alice would display creepy behavior such as staring and smiling at others for a long period of time, random fits of laughter, walking into the kitchen to steal a knife, talking to herself, and spontaneously bursting into dance whenever hearing music. But one of the clowns, a 40 year old woman named Ruby, who lost her son in a car accident, always looked after Alice and had her best interests in heart. She doted on Alice as if she was her own baby girl, ever since the troubled girl was little. Ruby was the reality anchor Alice needed and the grandmother she never had.

Before one of the grand shows, Ruby took Alice to a tattoo parlor to grant the girl her wish: blue roses on her shoulders and left ribs in memory of her mother’s affectionate nickname given to Alice, “my little blue rose”.

By the age of 28, Alice was a fully grown psychopath under the guise of being the overworked star of the circus, dedicated to her craft and career as a clown. She is now more dangerous than before, almost killing her co-workers by throwing knives near their heads, leaving disturbing gifts in their trailers (after somehow breaking in), would create crazy and nightmarish paintings and drawings, would be found singing grimly lullabies and songs, spend hours listening to her mother’s music box that was an anniversary gift from her father, and most concerning of all, using razors and knives to cut herself and watch blood drip down her skin, reveling in the pleasure from the pain.

After a night show spoiled by a scheming Joker dressed in the former ringleader’s uniform, Alice was used as a hostage by the laughing clown and dragged down into a secret escape latch. She didn’t realize she was a hostage after they entered the sewers and struck up a conversation. Joker led her to another one of his hidden hideouts, an abandoned novelty factory. After a bit of more talking, Joker decided to make Alice his new henchwoman and gave her variety of outfits and gadgets to choose. After some “fooling around”—and learning more things about Alice that Joker wasn’t ready for—he had her join his goons. He gave her a variety of outfits to choose from, and she settled on what is now her iconic look.

Theme song: “It’s Bad Luck, Babe!”

Playlist :)

[thatnormalcrazygirl]

24-03-30

[atticbugg]

Scars , stretch marks ,, n all that beautiful stuff that makes u a livin’ creature . 🧡 Idk what abt these could be triggerin’ but just in case ,,, proceed with caution .

To help , them in order is :

Burn scar , stretch marks on leg , self harm on leg , burn on leg , friction rash on arm , stretch marks on stomach , self harm on arm , burn on arm , burn scar on arm .

[httphimbo]

hiii I just read the first chapter of Put Me Back In It (Darlin' I'd Do It Again)

(i literally read the first work all night and I'm continuing in the morning and I'm not ashamed) And like, the fic where Neil dies the worst death and comes back, and remembers everything and is forced to relive all this all again??? and after everything they had with Andrew before, they're here again???? do you want to kill me? is it any wonder that this kid started hurting himself… by the way it’s a thing to talk about? i mean fucking ouch? there was no question planned here I just wanted to vent a little since ao3 isn't working properly and I can't post a comment?? but… like will Andrew see _those_ scars Neil? like, they started talking about "you're hurting yourself”, but Andrew meant other things, although he was very very right(

this got so long lemme put it under the cut nonnie dear

so glad you’re enjoying it, so sorry i ruined your sleep schedule. one of the main appeals of time travel like this for me is all the unresolved effects of things that happened before. it would’ve been so easy to have him come back from like twenty years in the future where he’s already made peace with (some) of the things that happened to him, but one of the things that hooks me with neil is that he has this kind of ability to compartmentalise that isn’t necessarily healthy. we know he’s an unreliable narrator but to a point i think that continues even to himself, he glosses over pieces of his own history and keeps moving forward and so with both fics i really wanted to explore what would happen if he couldn’t, if he had to take a step back and think about the things that have happened to him in order to fix it. it’s very much breaking a bone that has set wrong to make sure it heals right this time. the only way neil can create a better future is to confront the trauma of being both neil josten and nathaniel.

with that, however, comes the issue of actually dealing with it. we know in canon that neil tends to deal with these things alone and he does that by running. he’s rarely had to let it all catch up to him and considering the time travel aspect there’s no real way for him to get support in that. the self harm is a bigger extension of a self destructive repression quality and one that horrifies neil as much as he uses it as a crutch. he is all about survival, and has never really had to grapple with the things that he does to survive.

he is quite noticeably spiralling, though it’s taken longer for others to notice it as in the foxes’ pov this is simply the way neil has been the entire time they’ve known him, they’re steadily learning that this is not neil’s normal. his mental health will be addressed even with neil’s reluctance and andrew is, unsurprisingly, going to be a big advocate of this. anyone who’s read put me back in it knows that he’s already trying to help neil with the behaviours that he’s noticed in his own andrew way, but a big part of both their arcs ( for the first part of the story anyway ) is neil opening himself up to help, and andrew having to confront that there are some things he can’t protect neil and kevin from — at all, or alone.

tldr; there’s is more angst coming, but yes, andrew will eventually know and neil will lean on both him and the foxes to get through it < 3

[schizosamwincester]

I've read a fic where when Dean sees Sam naked after Stanford, he finds lines upon lines on his hips and is all aghast that Sam used to self harm and makes him promise to talk to him and stuff.

Anyway that fic, except when Dean is all sad and asks Sam why he'd do that to himself, Sam is like "oh, uh, no, actually Jessica and I did a lot of knifeplay"

[aftgficrec]

Thanks for the rec, friend! - S

Sunrise, Abram, Death by bloodofkingsonmytrousers [Rated T, 1016 words, complete, 2024]

The name had been on his wrist for as long as he could remember. Well, maybe that wasn’t the right way to put it. A name had been on his wrist for as long as he could remember. Nathaniel. Or, everybody with a soulmate is born with their soulmate's name on the inside of their wrist, and Andrew is no different—other than the fact that the name on his wrist keeps changing.

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm