#tw neurodivergent reader

[gremlinmodetweeker]

König aka The Human Weighted Blanket pt 1

Let it be known by anyone and everyone that, based on my stupid quick google searches, only less 4% of US men are taller than König. Less than 1% of women in the US are taller than König. So, if I'm guessing that the majority of english speaking fans are in North America or Europe (and this is a very uneducated rough guess), which are two places with very tall people, then I am going to make the uneducated guess that König has probably met only at most 5 people in his entire life that are taller than him. The likelihoods of you being in that 5 are slim, so bear with me when I choose to write a YN shorter than König. Again, forgive me for being a bit discriminatory when writing here, but if you'd like a post for taller YNs, please tell me.

Okay, so, König is big, we just covered this in the above paragraph. But the thing is, height is one thing. Weight is another. To keep a man like König fit, he eats a lot of food, and I think he builds to be a broad man as well as a tall man. This is someone who makes a door frame look small when he ducks through it (which btw, average standard door height is 6'8). So with such a big body, such immense strength, he has learned to be a very gentle man.

König is the type of person who really makes an effort to control himself. He has extraordinary self discipline that he makes an effort to exert every day. He's not the kind of guy to be caught slacking in this department. He's not gentle to an effeminate state, he's still a big gruff man, but if he wanted to he could crush a watermelon with his hands. He is quite careful when opening bags of chips. As a teenager, his mother would have him vacuum up his messes, which is probably what drilled this principle into his head.

So this is where you come in.

König is always gentle and careful with the amount of force he puts on other people. When you tell him to lay on you, he's a bit confused.

It doesn't matter if you're 4'8 or 6'9, he's going to be worried about you. Obviously more if you're a pipsqueak (like me, hehe), but even if you're tall and strong like him he'll still be nervous. He really isn't used to this sort of request. Who the heck asks for this? Who tells him to do this?

If you're asking just because you want him to, he's much more hesitant. Why would you want to be crushed? He's never really heard of such a thing. He can't understand why. Sure, he'll do it, but you probably won't get his full weight (not until he realizes that you're serious about this, at least). He doesn't lay on you for long, and he doesn't push you in any way, and instead is constantly asking if you're alright because he's worried he'll break you. He is so confused.

If you're neurodivergent or something, then he'll understand a bit more, but he'll still be nervous. It'll take less convincing to get him to relax, but still he'll worry. After all, you're a human being and he doesn't want to hurt you. He especially doesn't want to hurt you because you asked for him to do something nice for you. That would devastate him.

Now, the thing that will crush him. If you're having an anxiety attack, you needn't tell him twice. He'll do anything to help. Genuinely. He knows what anxiety attacks are like himself. He'd never wish that pain on anyone else. So if you manage to string the words together to ask for help (and I am so proud of you for being so strong), he'll do it for you without a second of hesitation. Well, somewhat. He'll lay on you, yes, but he'll hold back a bit. It might take you telling him you'll be alright for him to fully relax himself. So yes, you will need to remind him you're okay, but only once. Then he'll do it for you. And the next time you have a panic attack, he'll do it again without you having to ask again. He'll do it for you whenever he can.

[novelcain]

When Worlds Collide

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FANDOM: Jujutsu Kaisen

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PAIRING: Gojo x reader

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PLATFORM: AO3

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SYNOPSIS:

After attempting to commit suicide, you inexplicably find yourself in the world of Jujutsu Kaisen with none other than Gojo Satoru himself. Will you be able to change the future, or are you destined to be nothing more than a spectator to the pain that lies ahead?

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Masterlist

Chapter 1: Fallen Angel

Chapter 2

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[vampiresawakenedmycravings]

CHAPTER 1

Choices in the shadows

Mention of:  suicidal thoughts, self-harm

This is my first ever fandom

I hope you enjoy

1,200 ish words

And yes the characters mentioned from the other vampire clan are different from the ones you're gonna be thinking about I just had picked a name and that ended up being what it was don't judge

~

[Y/n] wakes up in the hospital, her heart starts to race pounding loudly as she tries to figure out where she was. At that moment a handsome doctor walks into her room and smiles when he sees she's awake

"Hello [y/n] I'm Carlisle Cullen I'll be you're doctor for the duration of you're stay here"

"Where is here?" [y/n] asks looking around

"You are at forks hospital, you're parents found you in you're room passed out" he looks at [y/n], then takes a step forward toward her slowly

"Now you'll have to answer a few questions ok?" Y/n nods

"Ok" she whispers wondering what the questions will be

"How long have you had suicidal thoughts?" He asks her, sitting in a chair near her bed. Y/n looks away and ignored the question.

"Y/n I need to know so I can treat you

"I don't know awhile I guess" she mutters and looks back at him seeing him jot notes down on his notepad.

Carlisle looks back up at y/n and asks "was this you're first attempt at you're life?"

Y/n rolls her eyes "I'm here now aren't I?

Carlisle looks into her eyes "some attempts like the one you tried earlier aren't successful," he looks down at his notes for a second before looking back up at her "so was this you're first attempt"

"Yes" y/n says knowing she's lying remembering last summer when she tried to OD on ibuprofen and allergy meds, how it was failed and her parents never even found out.

Carlisle notes that and continues on with the questions,

"How long have you-" he motions to the deep wounds on her legs and upper arms.

"I've cut myself for years" she says and he notes that

"Why?" He looks back up at her with caring eyes. The simple question stumped y/n she didn't know how to answer no one had ever asked her that before.

"I-" she stutters as starts to talk "I was- I felt" she stumbles for words before giving up.

"I don't know," she mumbled

As Carlisle continued to ask Y/n questions about her struggles, a sense of trust began to form between them. His empathetic demeanor and genuine concern made Y/n feel like she could finally open up.

Carlisle, still maintaining his gentle tone, asked, "Y/n, have you ever talked to anyone about your feelings or sought help before this?"

Y/n hesitated for a moment, recalling the times she had wanted to reach out but tried and failed to find the courage. She finally admitted, "No, I've always kept it to myself. I didn't think anyone would understand."

Carlisle nodded understandingly. "I'm glad you're opening up now. It's an important so I can try to help you get better." He leaned in a bit closer, lowering his voice. "I want you to know that there are people who care about you and want to help. We can work through this together."Y/n felt a sense of relief wash over her as Carlisle's words sank in.

Y/n felt a sense of relief wash over her as Carlisle's words sank in. For the first time in a long while, she didn't feel completely alone in her struggle.

Over the next few weeks, Y/n's bond with Carlisle deepened. He became more than just her doctor; he was a confidant and a source of support. together they worked on strategies to cope with her emotions.

As Y/n's physical wounds began to heal, so did the emotional ones. She started attending support groups at the hospital, where she met others who had faced similar challenges. Their shared experiences helped her realize she wasn't alone in her battle.

One day, Carlisle asked her if she wanted to go on a walk in the forest. Y/n nodded and got dressed in normal clothes out of her hospital gown quickly excited to finally get out of the hospital

Carlisle took her took her hiking through the woods to a view over the river.

On there way back to car after they looked out at the river for awhile,Y/n turned to Carlisle and said with a faint smile, "Thank you for saving my life, not just physically, but emotionally too."

Carlisle returned her smile warmly. "You're the one who chose to fight, Y/n. I was just here to lend a helping hand. Remember, you have the strength to overcome anything."

One evening, as Y/n and Carlisle continued their walks in the forest, they stumbled upon an unusual sight. A group of people, unlike anyone Y/n had ever seen, emerged from the shadows. They had strikingly pale skin, almost like marble, and their eyes gleamed with an otherworldly light.

They looked like Carlisle except different, instead of a beautiful golden color like Carlisle they had bright red eyes, that looked almost thirsty.

Carlisle's expression tightened, and he moved protectively in front of Y/n. "Stay behind me," he whispered, his voice tense.

The group of strangers approached, and their leader, a charismatic and enigmatic woman, stepped forward. "My name is Aro," she said, her tone as smooth as silk. "We've been watching your progress, Y/n."

Y/n exchanged a confused glance with Carlisle. "Who are you, and what do you want?"

Aro's lips curled into a sly smile. "We have a unique proposition for you, Y/n. You see, we share a secret, a gift that could change your life forever."

Carlisle's grip on Y/n tightened as he stared at Aro warily. "What are you talking about?"

Aro's eyes never left Y/n's, and she continued, "We offer you the chance to join us, to become part of our family. You would have a new life, new abilities, and eternal youth. In return, you must leave behind your human life and become one of us."

Y/n's heart raced, as she shook her head no. She wasn't losing Carlisle and the trust she had placed in him and the progress she had made.

Y/n clung to Carlisle's reassuring presence, her mind swirling with disbelief at Aro's proposition. She had come so far in her journey to recovery, and the thought of leaving it all behind for this mysterious offer was daunting.

Carlisle spoke firmly, his voice unwavering. "We appreciate the offer, Aro, but Y/n's path to healing is here, with me, and the support she's found. We won't be making any rash decisions."

Aro's smile remained, but there was a glint of disappointment in her eyes. "Very well, Carlisle. The offer stands should you change your mind."

As Aro and her group retreated into the shadows, Y/n let out a shaky breath. "What was that all about?"

Carlisle's expression was grave. "Those were vampires, Y/n. Creatures of legend. They're offering you immortality, but it comes at a great cost. I'm glad you chose to stay."

Y/n interrupts Carlisle "they looked exactly like you except with red eyes," she blurts out

"Are you a vampire?"

Carlisle's expression remains composed as he replies, "Yes, I am a vampire, but I'm different from the ones you encountered. We don't drink human blood, and we try to live in harmony with humans. It's a long story, would you like to hear more?"

Y/n doesn't know what to say she stared at Carlisle with her mouth hanging open. She thinks of all the weird things like how he doesn't eat or drink and he's super strong and pale and HOT.

She shrugs, nonchalantly which surprised Carlisle.

"You're not scared?" He asks y/n

Y/n looks at Carlisle with a newfound curiosity and hints of admiration in her eyes. "Scared? Maybe a little surprised, but after everything we've been through, I've learned not to judge based on appearances. You've been there for me when I needed it most."

Carlisle smiles warmly, relieved by her understanding. "Thank you, Y/n. I promise, I'll always be here to support you, no matter what." Their bond deepens further as they continue their walk through the forest, navigating the complexities of their unique connection and the challenges that lie ahead.

After Carlisle takes her home she watches him leave and after about ten minutes she walks into the forest near her house,

"Aro!! Are you here!! I have a question for you!!" She whisper shouts into the dark tripping over a branch and falling to the forest floor. She cry's out in pain but gets up intent on finding the vampire she had seen earlier and her family

In the dim forest, Y/n's voice echoed softly, and the shadows seemed to whisper back. Suddenly, Aro materialized before her, her red eyes gleaming like rubies in the darkness.

"What question do you have, Y/n?" Aro asked, her voice carrying a hint of curiosity.

Y/n, undeterred by her fall and the eerie surroundings, took a deep breath. "I want to understand why you chose me to become part of you're clan why not anyone else why am I special?"

Aro regarded Y/n with a contemplative expression, her lips curling into a mysterious smile. "You have a unique resilience, Y/n. We've been watching you, and your ability to endure and find strength within yourself is exceptional. We believe you have untapped potential, the kind that could thrive in our world."

Y/n's mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions, uncertainty mixed with curiosity. "But what about Carlisle? He's been helping me so much. I can't just leave him."

Aro nodded, acknowledging the dilemma. "Carlisle is an admirable man, and his compassion is rare among our kind. It's a decision only you can make, Y/n. Whether you choose to stay with him or embrace a new life with us, your path is yours to decide."

Y/n took a moment to absorb Aro's words. The forest seemed to hold its breath, waiting for her response. With newfound determination, she spoke, "I appreciate the offer, Aro, but I've already found a family in the people who care about me. I'm not ready to leave them behind."

Aro's smile remained enigmatic, but she nodded gracefully. "Very well, Y/n. Should you ever change your mind or seek answers, you know where to find us." With that, she and the shadows enveloped her, leaving Y/n alone in the quiet forest.

As Y/n made her way back home, she couldn't help but feel a sense of closure. The encounter with the vampires had been surreal, but her heart was firmly rooted in the world she had come to know and the people who had supported her on her journey.

She thought of Carlisle and the unwavering bond they had forged. Y/n knew that her path to healing and self-discovery would continue with him by her side, and together, they would face whatever challenges lay ahead.

[theinsomniacindian]

As a person who struggles with this specific intrusive thought to the point of having panic attacks, I needed this.

here's a little reminder that no one can read your mind or see your "weird" or "bad" thoughts and daydreams! mind readers are not real, and your inner world is entirely private. your thoughts and daydreams are not embarrassing or bad, and they do not define your morality!

everyone who keeps saying shit like "sounds like something a mind reader would say" or "mind readers are real actually" i will eat you to death and enjoy every minute of it. not the time or place

[taelophone]

Friends Don't⋆˙⟡. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Luigi Mangione x Reader TWs: Baby Trapping . Friends With Benefits . Dry Humping . Luigi doesn’t take his boxers off like once LOL . Gross imagery cuz I’m nasty . Penetration . Luigi is implied neurodivergent, specifically autism . Daddy Kink . Glasses Luigi . A/N: ngl this is v depraved as well🙂‍↕️

“No, hush, you don’t get it. It was like, a look…see, this is why I don’t tell y’all stuff!”

The sounds of crinkled and crunchy chip bags rustled, accompanied by the aggressive slam of Kota’s heavy hand placing down his cold bottle of beer on the coffee table.

Bubbles of carbonation fizzed, alcoholic foam bubbling to the neck before retreating into the amber glass. Bodies shuffled, voices murmured, television buzzed, and pages flipped as Luigi, your dearest friend, flipped through the pages of his planner.

“But like…” Lindsay began, popping a few primary-colored M&M’s in her mouth with a throw of her head. “You guys weren’t there, he was literally soul-searching me!”

“Lindsay, please stop being delusional,” Kota sighed, a pitying glint in his eyes to pair perfectly with his cynical smirk.

“I’ll hop up there and shove my foot down your throat, please don’t, Rykler” she sighed, a half-amused pout on her lips as she reached over the coffee table from her crisscrossed position on the floor to drop some popcorn in her mouth.

“Last name is crazy…” He chuckled.

“So wait, when are we all leaving? Next Saturday?” You asked, cutting through the pair’s banter with a subtle reminder to focus.

You crawled off of the floor, the cotton lycra of your leggings dragging against the ivory carpet. Your hands came to rest on the side of Luigi’s thigh, raising your head to peer over at the planner in his hands as he mapped out an itinerary for your trip to Athens, Greece.

You felt it for a moment— his quad muscles tensed under your hands for a moment, quick enough to go unnoticed, but slow enough to raise a flag of shock or fluster.

“Should be,” Luigi began, his middle finger adjusting the bridge of his reading glasses. “The flight should be like…eleven hours. So Lindsay, don't sit by me because I wanna get some sleep.”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” she chuckled, a sarcastic roll of her eyes and a surprisingly elegant flash of her middle finger.

“I know, it’s a curse” he fired back, quick with his tongue. It was like watching siblings go back and forth with each other, each little nitpicking jab aiming to push the other to call a truce or sink the pair into a vicious cycle of verbal blows. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna drive Kota home. I can see the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at his keys” Lindsay murmured, side-eying him with both care and annoyance before slowly sliding the black and silver fob into her coat pocket.

“Somebody get this man his keys,” Luigi joked, a boyish grin painting his face while he watched his frat-brother stand up and stretch. A few loud pops, cracks of age, and ease echoing from the tall boy's spine before he shakes himself free of insomnia.

“A’ight, we out. Text me when you get home, Pep. Oh, and,” he paused, picking up his beer from the table with a surprisingly sweet and genuine chuckle. “Don’t fuck it up. You got this bro, ALPHA!” He barked, enunciating his proclamation of Luigi’s leadership with a few hits to his chest.

Whatever that meant.

“I won’t, I promise,” Luigi chuckled, waving at the pair of them as they made their way out of your cozy apartment.

With the pair of them gone, the only company between you and Luigi transitioned into silence. His eyes scanned over the small book, filling the empty boxes of next weekend with blue-inked notes and E.T.A’s.

You watched his hands, now slowly bringing your chin to rest atop his thigh. His concentration was so heavy he almost didn’t notice the way you rested your head and arms on his much larger leg, your head tilted innocently to the side like a little doe, discovering man for the first time.

Almost.

“Why are you still on the floor?” He asked with a tiny smile, not once removing his gaze from the journal in front of him.

“It’s comfy” you shrugged, flicking your eyes up to his. The black frames of his browline glasses glimmered until the pale yellow light of the overhead lamp, little white highlights flashing every once in a while with a slight tilt of his head.

He hummed, dropping his pen in the inner hinge of his planner before closing it entirely. He sat it down on the table in front of him, stretching out his arms with a barely audible groan. 

“Come up here, I don’t want you to hurt your knees. You’ll get carpet burn…” he sighed, crossing his arms over his stomach as he peered into your eyes.

“But I’m comfortable” you sighed, propping your elbows up on his thigh.

“C’mon, your knees are gonna feel terrible,” he sighed, reaching over to scoop you up from under your shoulders just to set you next to him on the couch.

“I was comfortable on the floor, c’mon man…” you sighed, glaring at him through your peripheral. Your faux annoyance soon melted, bringing your temple to rest against his sturdy shoulder while he fidgeted with the silver chain around his neck.

“But you’ll be the first one to complain about knee pain later” he stated, shooting you an amused side-eye that mirrored your own.

“Yeah well I don’t get knee pain from sitting on the carpet—“ you teased, a bright and tongued smile on your face.

“Aht-! Behave yourself,” He mused, his brows shooting up as high as the muscles in his face would allow, a pinkish tint on the tip of his nose. Luigi was the last man to ever speak on the subject of behavior— after all, he was almost as ill-mannered and impatient as you.

You weren’t really sure where you stood with Luigi. The lines had long since blurred and distorted into a muddy and grotesque portrait— platonic wires plugging themselves into outlets of intimacy that deviated from the standard friendship.

You knew what his hair felt like between your interdigitals, the soft curls of cocoa brown finding their way into your palms every other night. It wasn’t a question of how it would happen next, it was only when.

It always started in similar ways. Two friends left alone for too long, searing seduction and sexual tension filling the empty space between the both of you.

It was almost pathetic the way you managed to tangle your limbs together every time you laid eyes on each other for too long. Hands gripping and grabbing at anything they could, like frustrated virgins relieving themselves of chastity.

“I’m so well-behaved,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes at him with a lopsided smile. Your head fell to the side, its refuge found on the blade of his shoulder.

“Stop it” he giggled, low and steady in his chest before he shifted to pick up his planner once more. “You guys are evil…making me plan the trip alone.”

“We’re not evil, we just suck at planning. Isn’t organizing and planning your thing?” You joked, your top row of teeth pulling in your bottom lip in sarcastic banter.

“Oh, okay,” he laughed, the silver bridge of his readers slipping down the slope of his nose slightly with the sudden movement of his head being thrown back. 

“It’s okay, we’re just keeping the nerd well-fed,” you said, watching him fill in the last few notes and details in the tiny black lines.

He paused, his brows pinching together with a slightly stretched smirk on his lips. He was confused, of course, but deeply amused by your words.

“I don’t think I’m a nerd,” he said, readjusting his glasses with the knuckle of his pointer finger.

You stared at him, looking him up and down in silent protest. The glasses, the annotated planner in his hand, his monochrome Adidas hoodie, and his dorky black basketball shorts as he faced you with a boyish smile.

“Okay, Luigi…whatever you say!” You nodded, a clear tone of disbelief dripping from your words.

He paused, a small pout on his lips as he leaned back further onto the couch. 

“Am I actually that nerdy…?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“But it’s ok you’re sexy, so you’re a hot nerd,” you said, fluffing the curls at the back of his head briefly.

“Wow. Thanks. I feel so much better. My heart is just overwhelmed with gratitude” he deadpanned, a subtle nod of his head really solidifying his joy.

 He nodded with an unenthusiastic smile, fiddling with the bow-tied drawstring on his black shorts, the cheap polyester bunching up slightly with his gentle tug on the knot.

You watched his hands, curiosity killing you slowly as you succumbed to the strange sensory captivation.

“You shouldn’t look at people’s dicks, it’s not polite” He murmured, letting a teasing chortle slip as his hands ceased their relentless stimming.

“Oh shut up,” you gasped, immediately lifting your head from his shoulder to land a playful blow on his chest. “I was watching you be an idiot with your shorts, actually.”

“Wow,” he drawled, carrying out the w sound for as long as he could while shaking his head slowly. “So you make me plan cuz I’m ’good at it’, AND make fun of me stimming? You’re two for two right now!”

“Oh my god I hate you” you sighed, scooting away from him.

“No, you love me,” he said, pulling you back towards him by the hem of your pink sweatpants. “My dick too, apparently.”

“Ew don’t be gross, Luigi,” you said, raising your eyebrows at his sudden forward attitude. He wasn’t normally handsy or forward, but this was a welcome change.

“We can do something gross,” he joked, a shy and almost childish giggle marking the end of his sentence as a reddish blush crept up to his cheeks.

“Luigi!” You scolded, sporting a shocked smile as he abandoned your gaze.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s the beer,” he sighed, throwing his hands up in faux defense.

You giggled, crossing your arms and sinking further into the couch, letting the tension melt away from your spine and shoulders.

“Imagine not being able to handle your liquor…” you teased, poking his chest with the manicured tip of your finger before spaying your hand over his chest, gently pushing him.

“I can handle my alcohol just fine,” he said, raising a brow at your hand as it slowly began to feel around his slightly firmed pec muscles.

“You know what else you can handle?” You mused, not even bothering the way you squished his pecs with giddy giggles.

“Oh, but I’m gross,” he laughed, his opposite eyebrow joining its twin in its raised shock. 

“Your boobs are big” you murmured, giving one final squish to both of his muscles before withdrawing your hands. To your surprise, Luigi grabbed your wrists, situating them on either of his shoulders as he pulled you into his lap by the dip of both of your hips.

“Actually, they’re called pectorals…not boobs,” he began, slowly diving into a lengthy rant on anatomy and how the male body differs from the female body. 

Your eyes began to glaze over, his hands holding the top of your hips with a firm, but docile grasp on your delicate skin. His deep and suave voice felt like fluttering feathers brushing across your soul, plucking your heartstrings with arousal.

“You have boobs, I don’t have boobs…I don’t think I do anyway, but I have been in the gym a lot more—“

He paused, a sudden wave of pleasure washing over him, a quiet and muffled grunt sounding from the depths of his throat as he was torn from his absent-minded rant. His eyes shot open, his pupils dilating and locking on your form.

Your head tilted forward, eyes gently closed in bliss, and tiny gusts of wind left your lips as you rocked your hips back and forth against his. His bottom lip curled over his bottom row of teeth, his tongue jetting out to brush against it.

“Oh wow…” he murmured, as quiet as distant waves on the salty shores— a reminder that good times were ahead the further along you rode. “That’s new.”

You smiled, your bottom lip coming between your teeth in lustful seduction. He held on to your hip bones, his breathing slowing down with the weight of each breath as he guided you back and forth.

“You’re rude, you weren’t even listening to my important anatomy lesson…I plan, cook, entertain you, organize for you, and help you get your rocks off and this is how you treat me?” He rasped, the front of his canines coming into view as he smiled while his tongue poked out between his teeth.

You whined breathily, his hands pressing you further against the large bulge in his shorts, angry and twitchy underneath the cheap synthetic fabric. He was big— intimidatingly girthy underneath you as it begged to be set free.

You wanted to go faster, your hips stuttering as you attempted to pick up the pace, but Luigi’s firm hold on your hips prevented you from grinding at your own pace. You huffed, glancing up at him with an annoyed glint in your eyes.

“Mmmh, not yet…you did this, not me. Finish what you started,” he mumbled, dragging your hips along his painfully slow. His head tilted back, the wall behind him smashing the top of his curls down as his eyes fluttered shut to concentrate on the feeling.

“Lu, c’mon, don’t be cruel…” you sighed, your face twisting in disappointment and arousal. The push and pull was enough to keep you tingly, the cotton on your panties soaking with each passing second, but not enough to really get you anywhere in under twenty minutes.

“Hm, am I? What have you been to me this whole time…” he chuckled, watching your expressions closely as annoyance and arousal fought for dominance on your face.

His hands were heavy, kneading the flesh at the back of your upper thighs possessively. Hot with fever— itching with lust, it was disgustingly intimate.

His hands traveled your body like it was normal, each depraved and desperate squeeze of his hands fueled by the hunger of a man starved. Your poor puffy and practically pulsing clot ached for action, anything to push you over the edge he kept you so far away from.

“Luigi…come on…” you whined, frantically rutting your hips against his. Much to your surprise, his hands didn’t restrict you from your fervent rocking, letting you capsize against him again and again like a creaky old boat seeking land in a storm.

Deep and sharp breaths filled his lungs, providing the necessary oxygen he needed to survive until his next ragged breath. He liked watching you lose your self-control on top of him— it was so beautiful.

He always had a habit of attempting to fix things, broken or not, and rebuilding them into something…better. What would look better to him, is if you were a babbling twitching mess on his lap.

“Is this too gross for you? Hmm?” He purred, his hands falling to his sides as he left you to do all the work yourself. He watched as you huffed and whined, rolling your hips against his painfully hard bulge again and again.

“Shut…shut up, please—“ you panted, hot and heavy breaths drying up your mouth as you focused your dwindling amounts of energy on riding each wave to euphoria.

“Aht, don’t be a brat,” he warned, popping you on the side of your thigh with a slight scrunch of his nose. “Say you’re sorry.”

By now your eyes burned with the same fire that nipped at your thighs; salty, sinful, seductive tears glossing your waterline better than Maybelline could ever hope to shine. Pulsing above him with quiet whines, your nails clawing into the muscles on his shoulders while his large hand rubbed the spot he slapped to soothe the sting.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, Daddy…” you winced, the simple motion enough to humble yourself. You’d never expect him to be a rough man at all, but Luigi was a man full of surprises.

He chuckled briefly, his face twitching with building pleasure as he watched you work your legs and hips to keep your rhythm. He listened to your whines grow louder, the way your rhythm began to falter sent almost sadistic sparks of giddy excitement coursing through his veins.

“Aw, it’s not enough for you? Do you need my help?” He teased, his large palms coming up to rest on your hips in a taunting manner.

“Yes…yes, please, my legs hurt—! Need help,” you panted, leaning forward to press wet and open-mouthed kisses to his neck and jaw in hopes of convincing him to give you some mercy.

“Poor baby,” he huffed, pulling your sweatpants down your hips. “You need me for everything…planning, company, an orgasm…”

He sighed, pulling his shorts down just enough to expose his boxers, not even bothering to take them off as he pulled his dick out of the fly of his boxers. He slid your cotton panties to the side, the pads of his fingers pressing into the supple flesh of your sides, skewering you down onto him.

You cried out, the stretch just as unfamiliar as it was every single time. He was big; massive even as he took sharp advantage of the slick that had glossed up and decorated your folds from failing to bring yourself to an orgasm moments prior.

“I can’t say no to you…it’s a fucking problem…” he whined, using your smaller body like his own toy as he pistoned you up and down his girthy dick.

You moshed, tears of pleasure and painful sensitivity dribbling down your face as fast as you could blink. Mascara coursed from your lashes, violating the pristine, crystal-like water that once held nothing but emotion.

Dirty like muddy water, tainted with a reminder of how your very own friend makes you feel almost daily. Never mind the years of careful boundary building and shared experiences— you’d always find yourself tangled within each other.

Again. 

And again.

And again.

Paff! Paff! Paff! Paff!

It was disgusting—, your mingled moans and sounds of sticky and hot fabric meeting in the space between you repeatedly. Soaked panties sticking to your lips, boxers caving in with the weight of dribbled precum and sticking to his lower abdomen.

He was a freak for not bothering to take his boxers off, fully aware of the consequences if he chose to keep them on. Luigi didn’t seem to care, however, he was overjoyed with the aspect of you ruining his perfectly new Calvin Kleins.

No amount of money could replace the memory of you dripping down his length and onto the soft material with a loud, helpless shout of his name.

“Close…” you shrieked, using up the last of your breath to warn him of your rapidly approaching climax.

But he already knew that. He knew from the moment you began to flutter and convulse around him that you were nearing your edge.

“I know, I know…” he purred, using your hazy, pleasure-driven state to suck on the side of your neck.

He left blue and purple bruises in his wake, high enough to be annoying to attempt to hide later. If you could give him attitude and mouth, he could give you hickeys.

You stilled, a loud cry leaving your lips as your hands clawed and scratched at his back and shoulders. Warm white flashed beyond your eyelids, your poor twitchy cunt convulsing around Luigi’s dick and painting him pearly.

He watched in awe, his eyes honed in on the scene before him as you shuddered against his chest. At that moment, only one thought crossed his mind as he pistoned you up and down on him.

“Sorry…!” He whined, your slow eyes widening in realization as his thrusts became more and more erratic.

Heavy and milky ropes of cum shot directly through you, pollinating the flowers of your cervix with a loud grunt. His hands slammed your hips down, holding you in place while giving him a loud whimper.

“Luigi, what the fuck!” You moaned, slowly regaining your consciousness as he lazily continued to pump up into you.

“Moment of weakness…” He murmured, the devilish smirk glued to his fanged features like the cat that ate the canary. Purring with pride, and stained with the sweet sweet nectar of his reward.

His grey boxers were now a deep, charcoal grey, fucking every drop of his load back into you slowly.

“It’s fine. I'll buy you a plan B…”

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

the tortured poets department

a story told in multiple parts

vi x reader

Info Post

Moodboards

Next Part

Contains: college au, dark/light academia, writer reader, singer reader, neurodivergent/autistic reader (i’m autistic so i’m writing from my own experiences), sporty vi, hockey player vi, big sister caitlyn, best friend ellie williams, roommate ellie williams, will contain other familiar characters you know and love as well as some potential ocs. no use of y/n, reader does have a name because it’s just easier for me to write that way 🖤 ALSO- Jayce is aged down because I want him to be 😌

WC: 4.5k

TW: talk of severe mental illness and brief mention of psychiatric facilities

A/N: chapter one is officially live! if you’re just stumbling across this and haven’t checked the main info post yet please do for more info! hope you enjoy! 🖤

part I

you’re on your own, kid

Whenever most people got acceptance letters to Oxford they were ecstatic, elated, overjoyed. Somehow whenever I got mine all I felt was a sense that I had failed. It was a juxtaposition of course, it was always expected from my family that I attend the same university they had and every other generation before them had. So in a way I had done the opposite, just maybe not in the right order, and a hefty amount of rejection letters in my midst. Including the one currently being held in my shaky hand right now.

Ms. Kiramman,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript to our publication house. Unfortunately right now we are unable to offer you an opportunity for further publication.

“Please, they wouldn’t know good literature if it hit them in the face.” Caitlyn scoffed from her spot next to me as the student shuttle jostled us in our row of seats.

“Is every other publication house that denied me unable to recognize good literature as well?” I whispered from where my cheek stayed pressed to her shoulder.

I know what a lot of you were probably thinking at first glance, but Caitlyn was a good big sister. She was harsh, severely left brained, exactly everything our parents wanted in a child, and quite possibly the polar opposite of me. But in all honesty she was my best friend. My biggest supporter whenever my parents weren’t. It was her who had harassed all of those literary agents to even get me the chance to submit my works to publication houses in the first place because I was too scared to do it. And it was I who failed every single time.

“Yeah actually, they are. Honestly Mills, there’s so much trash in modern day poetry right now you might be better off.” She sighed, reaching a hand over to click my phone off slowly as the shuttle rumbled to a stop. “This is you!” She tried to plaster on a fake cheery voice with a pat on my back as if to get me to finally lift my head where my cheek was already an irritated red for being hid in her sweater.

“I still don’t get why you couldn’t just let Ellie and I take the extra room in that big student house you just moved into.” I huffed, lifting a hand to readjust my glasses before rising up to my feet and reaching for one of the suitcases carelessly tossed on one of the adjacent rows of seats.

“Because lovey, you need to make some of your own friends. This is uni, Millie, we’re both in completely different colleges and I just- I don’t want you to get too lonely.” She frowned, glancing back at me as she rolled the other suitcase behind her. “You guys don’t wanna room with a bunch of upperclassmen anyways.”

“I do have my own friends, I have Ellie.”

“As much as she is a great roommate, friends besides Ellie, it’s good to have more than just two whole people on campus to talk to.” Caitlyn pressed on just before striding towards the entrance, leaving me feeling like I needed to speed walk just to keep up given the fact she was nearly a foot taller as well.

The student apartments were definitely nicer than the usual underclassman dorms. In all honesty I really should’ve been grateful, it was just another luxury of being a Kiramman. Whenever your parents paid for half of the buildings on campus you usually got better accommodations. Not that either of them originally liked the idea of me even rooming with Ellie. A loudmouthed foreign exchange student from America I met during another one of those incredibly expensive wellness retreats my parents sent me on to see if they could find a ‘cure’ for what was actually just a heavy amount of autism and severe ADHD.

The only person who really seemed to understand that there wasn’t one and it was just simply who I was was Caitlyn. To a degree as much as she could at least. Sometimes though I could tell she forgot.

“I think Ellie said she beat us a while ago.” She chimed in as we approached the door decorated with a slightly chipped gold number.

“She got here early because of hockey stuff.” I answered, already bouncing on the balls of my feet to see how she had managed to make the flat into a sea of chaos already. She wasn’t exactly the cleanest person, luckily her energy seemed to mesh with mine easily enough though.

“Oh! You never mentioned she made the hockey team! I know a few girls on the team you could probably talk to.” She shot a hopeful smile back at me before lifting a fist to knock on the door.

It swung open before she could even make a second tap to reveal a frazzled looking Ellie haphazardly clutching a hockey stick. “Thank God you’re here! I was trying to practice my swing and- fuck, we are so not getting that deposit back, Millie.”

“Oh dear god.” Caitlyn cursed, already wincing in dread before stepping through the door into the messy flat. “I’m sure our dad can- do something. What did you manage to break and why on earth did you decide practicing your swing indoors was a good idea?”

“For your information I didn’t break anything! There’s just a- tiny dent in the wall.”

I hummed a bit to myself as I stepped over the plethora of unpacked bags currently covering the floor. “It’s definitely more than tiny.” I chimed in as I poked at the noticeable dent in the drywall.

Caitlyn released a long and heavy breath and shook her head, as if to try and keep herself from making her own dent in the wall. “It’s totally fine. I’ll just- say that it was there whenever you guys moved in!” She shrugged with another anxious clear of her throat as she pulled my luggage in behind her. “Which room is free, Els?”

“Oh, I gave her the room in the front. I know she likes it dark and the lighting in there sucks.” Ellie answered as she shuffled off behind us. “There is one window in there that can get pretty killer in the mornings.”

I tensed a bit at the sight of the double window facing towards the bed. Yet another one of the aggravating little quirks that came with my neurodivergency, light sensitivity. As far as I could remember I always preferred the darkest of places. And now Caitlyn was cursing again, rushing towards me to take my hands into her own as if I was already on the verge of panic.

“It’s okay- I can get you a pair of a blackout curtains asap and you know how dreary it is in Oxford anyways-“

“Caity- it’s fine. I’m not going to have a meltdown over a window.” I interrupted her ramble with a shake of my head. Sometimes I felt like she still thought I was that same teenage girl that didn’t have a handle on her emotions. Not that I was far from it exactly. Now I was just an almost 20 year old girl who had a slight hold on her emotions. That’s what the writing was for.

Her eyes still held the same amount of concern though, getting that same little crinkle in between her brows as she nodded. “Okay, I’m still getting you blackout curtains though.”

“They’ll definitely be appreciated.” I said with a forced tiny smile.

“Well, I really wish I could stay and help you unpack but I have a meeting with the Brooks Society and everything but… I really do hope I’ll see you both tonight at the pub for fresher’s week?” She grinned hopefully once more as she squeezed the life out of my hands.

“Oh, I-I don’t know. We’ve barely settled in and-”

“I’m down.” Ellie chimed in from behind me as she trotted back into the door frame. “I’m gonna be relishing in the fact I finally don’t need a fake.”

“Ellie…” I groaned as I shot her a glare over my shoulder.

“What? Mills, it’s the first day of fresher’s week, we might as well be committing a crime by not going out tonight!” She exclaimed with a dramatic throw of her hands in the air.

“It’s true, and as much as I would love to keep you away from my degenerate friends, well, it might be good for you.” Caitlyn agreed with another casual shrug.

“You’re not gonna give me a choice, are you?” I questioned causing her to shoot a knowing look towards Ellie over my shoulder.

“Probably not.” She answered before stealing a look down at the expensive watch wrapped around her wrist. “Well, I’ve gotta go but… you’ll text me if you need anything, right? I don’t want you to feel like you can’t because of what I said earlier because you always can I just-“

“Caity- it’s fine. I’m fine, I promise. I- I’ll see you tonight.” I stammered in hesitation, and I’d definitely be hearing about it later. But luckily right now she seemed willing to just let things go.

“Okay, good… great. Now- get in here, pipsqueak!” She exclaimed, the familiar nickname she had been calling me since she hit her growth spurt and I yet to do so making me roll my eyes as she pulled me into a tight hug. One of those sisterly hugs I always clung onto a bit longer. Ever since I was younger no place had felt safer than Caitlyn. And in so many ways sometimes I looked at her as being more than a mom than our actual mom. I knew I needed to find other safe places though. “I love you, you know that right? I promise. This is going to be a good thing.”

“I love you too, Caity.” I sighed softly as I felt her lips press to the top of my head before the two of us pulled away.

“Els, take care of my baby sister or else I’ll have your head on a stick? Got it?”

“Crystal?” Ellie finally spoke up again with wide eyes as her hand made the ‘okay’ symbol.

“Good.” Caitlyn spoke before trotting back off towards the front door, “I’ll see you both tonight and send you the details.” And with a charming smile she was headed out.

Ellie instantly let out a shiver the moment the door closed. “Has anyone ever told you that your sister’s scary as fuck?”

“Many times.” I answered simply just in time to see Ellie’s face fall ever so slightly.

“So, I’m guessing it was a no from the latest publication house?”

“How could you guess?” I frowned as I slumped against the wall like I was going to resign myself to the floor.

“You had that aire of discouraged defeatism whenever you walked in.” She explained as she sidled up to me. “Cheer up, Mills, modern poetry is so cringeworthy nowadays you might be better off going for songwriting anyways.” She added as she gently rubbed at my clothed arms.

“If I can’t even get a publication house to take me seriously then what makes you think I can actually get a songwriting deal?” I spoke as I finally pushed myself off of the wall.

“One of the most popular songs out right now literally has the lyrics, ‘that’s that me, espresso’ in it.” She rolled her eyes a bit to herself as she finally knelt down to grab the bags she had still yet to unpack.

“No Sabrina Carpenter slander in this apartment, Williams. You know I’m an OG. And I can relate to desperation.” I frowned in embarrassment as I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Yeah yeah yeah, come and help me unpack, will you? Maybe we can find you something to wear tonight.”

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” I exclaimed almost in mild offense as I gestured towards the outfit that definitely had been hastily picked out. But it wasn’t like it wasn’t cute- ish at least.

“Nothing, but care bear sweaters and leggings seems more like a comfy day outfit than a ‘going out to the pub’ outfit.”

“I thought it was going to be a comfy day until you completely blew my cover!”

“Sorry babe, but I agree with your scary as fuck sister on this one. You need to get out more. Experience the pleasures of fresher’s week and you can take that in any way you want!” She shot a wink over her shoulder as she made her way down the skinny hallway to kick open her own door where a brutal floor to ceiling window already angrily cast its light on the room causing me to flinch.

“We could always pretend to be girlfriends again if you want people to leave you alone in a, you know, romantic way.” Ellie added as she rushed across the room to pull the curtains shut and pat the empty space on her bed. Probably the only time it’d actually be made all semester.

“Nah, if we do that too many times people will know we’re lying so best not to even start.” I answered as I took a seat on the side of her bed.

“Well if that’s the case, how does this shirt look with… this flannel? What do you think? Chick magnet?” She grinned before whipping out a red and black checkered flannel from the mostly empty closet and pulling it on over the basic black band tee she already wore with a flourish.

“Maybe if they’re emo?” I said with a little shrug as I scanned the band logo on her t-shirt causing her to groan in defeat.

“Still… somehow… always chronically bitchless.” She voiced before plopping down on the squeaky university issued beds. Though we were at least lucky enough to have double beds, it definitely wouldn’t leave anything to the imagination if either of us decided to do any nsfw activities in them. Somehow I didn’t feel like we’d have that problem though.

“Shush, you’re not chronically bitchless. You have me!” I teased as I gave her shoulder a playful shove where she dramatically flopped onto her back.

“So bitchless then?” She reiterated with a lifted brow as she glanced over at me.

“At least you’ve actually managed to kiss a girl once or twice.” I scowled as I inched over onto my side. Already catching myself pulling closer towards her.

“Just so we’re clear, I did offer.”

“Yeah, only to get your first kiss out of the way.” I scoffed, though I curled up to her either way. Closing my eyes as I placed my head on her chest I hadn’t realized how tired I had felt in the past 24 hours. They had been rough, a sea of anxiety and those exact meltdowns that Caitlyn was afraid of me having and her not being there to talk me down from.

“And? The offer never stopped standing.” She spoke just before I could feel her arms wrapping around me.

“Good to know, Els, I’ll let you know if I ever need to get a pity kiss from my best friend.”

“Oh shut up, it’s not a pity kiss. It’s me doing you a solid.” She remarked, as she nudged my foot with her leg. “You manage to get any sleep last night?” She wondered just before letting her hands trace soothing circles on my back. I only shook my head as I felt the sting behind my eyes before I could even take any steps to stop it. The way you felt whenever you were already on the verge all day and someone finally asks if you’re okay. Curling my fingers into her flannel the annoying tears already soaked into the fabric of her shirt. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

A shake of my head only followed, I didn’t know how to put anything into words really. How to explain to people that just wouldn’t understand no matter how much they meant well and wanted to. How was someone even supposed to explain the fact that you were one of the most celebrated families of the most prestigious university in England yet somehow you still felt like the only person who didn’t belong here sat on top of a mountain of rejection letters? Perhaps you could rather easily. But to actually say the words ‘I’m pretty sure I only got in because I’m a Kiramman’ were a whole different story. It’s why I took all those years off in the first place. I wanted to delay the inevitable of my dad paying off the admissions directors again while staring at me with the level of disappointment he never had to with Caitlyn.

I hadn’t even realized the simple tears had turned into full out sobs until I heard Ellie’s gentle shush from above me and her arms holding me even tighter to her chest as she did so. “You’re gonna be okay, Mills. I promise. We’re gonna be just fine.”

~

I hadn’t even noticed I had dozed off until my eyes cracked open again, noticeably faced away from the window and tucked underneath Ellie’s covers. My glasses sat propped up on her bedside dresser already casting a noticeable blur of the world around me. Meanwhile hushed voices seemed to speak from out in the hallway, walls much too thin to hide the noise.

Fighting back a yawn I shoved myself up onto my elbow to wipe at my dysfunctional eyes before stretching a hand out to pluck my glasses from the nearby table. Though I only jumped as the door was pushed open and Caitlyn’s tall figure popped up into view. “Hey pipsqueak, Ellie told me you weren’t feeling the best after I left.” She said carefully as she grabbed my glasses to hand them over.

“I wished she wouldn’t have.” I grumbled as I slid them onto my face only to hug my knees to my chest and glue my eyes to the bedsheets below.

“Why not? Isn’t that exactly what I told you to do? Mills, I would’ve stayed-”

“But- I-I don’t wanna keep you from your responsibilities anymore, Caity!” I exclaimed with a frustrated groan, already digging at my eyes again while my head only throbbed from the aftermath. “I don’t want you to have to tell this really important college society that you can’t be there for your obligations because your mentally ill sister needs you to rescue her again!”

“You are my responsibility, Amelia!” She snapped, the use of my rarely spoken full name making me wince as she pointed a stern finger at me. “You will always be my number one priority because I’m your big sister and it’s my job to protect you, no matter what. And I don’t care what kind of deep shit I get into with the criminology department, okay? Because you come first, always!”

I tried to gulp back the same pathetic tears, but it turns out after you cry yourself to sleep for the millionth time maybe there really is a limit. “I didn’t miss anything, did I?” I spoke up after a moment of silence, feeling Caitlyn’s arm stretch around my shoulder as she took the spot next to me.

“No, but I did do some thinking and if you really don’t wanna go then I don’t wanna pressure you.” She frowned, almost looking down in mild guilt until I leaned my head against her shoulder.

“No… I do. I wanna go and make friends and new experiences and- t-try to be normal.”

“Lovey, you are normal. It’s the world that isn’t.” Caitlyn frowned as she leaned her head against mine. Thankfully she only hesitated a moment though before she cleared her throat and spoke again, “If you wanna go though we should probably start getting ready. If you want me to help you?”

“Maybe you can help me figure out what to wear? And do my hair in those little braids with the clips? And help me with my eyeliner?”

Caitlyn snickered a bit as I lifted my head from her shoulder. “The eyeliner might be a little tricky but I can certainly try. Are you forgetting the prom incident where I quite literally gave you an eye infection?”

“That was definitely just because of the glitter.” I shrugged before swinging my legs over the side of the bed and finally pushing myself up to my feet.

“The eyeliner pen straight to the cornea certainly didn’t help.” She reiterated.

Despite the various complications of having two not at all femme lesbians help me get ready though, I don’t think I looked too terrible afterwards. I had settled on a simple black dress that fell just above the knee with little bows sat atop the straps. English autumns could either be comfortable or frigid though and the current temperature definitely wasn’t comfortable so Ellie tossed me one of her blue flannels to wear over top. Of course claiming it’d be a calling card for all of the hot lesbians, if they didn’t assume we were together first.

Calling the pub a ‘pub’ in an of itself was definitely generous. Besides the one or two older people having their relaxing evening out ruined by the loudmouthed 18+ filling the joint it felt more like a club than anything. Music blasted from the speakers as we stepped inside, Caitlyn on one side with a protective arm around my shoulders and Ellie on the other who looked more and more like she was never returning to America by the second.

Caitlyn immediately dragged us downstairs where most of the students had taken over. It wasn’t hard to figure out which group of friends were hers. It was the largest one, who had currently swallowed the entire center of the room it seemed filling up leather stools and couches with red decorative pillows. “Oi! Cait! Over here!” A familiar voice echoed from the large group, popping his head over everyone and waving the lot of us over.

“Jayce? I thought he finished his masters last year.” I tried to speak over the noise where Caitlyn wrinkled her nose in response.

“He did, guess the old man just can’t get enough of us.” She answered, giving my arm a comforting squeeze as she pulled me along beside her.

The group was probably the most eccentric lot I had ever seen as we approached the cluttered table. Covered in empty and full beer bottles and other fruity drinks along with half burnt out cigarettes. A spread of tarot cards belonging to a skinny girl with the longest and brightest blue hair I had ever seen was currently being scooped up as well causing my eyes to widen in curiosity. A chorus of Caitlyn’s name followed as usual, the usual life of the party whenever I wasn’t there and she didn’t have to babysit. I had almost managed to successfully tune most of the chaotic noise out though until I heard my name followed by the tightening of Caitlyn’s arm around my shoulders once more.

“Lads, this is my baby sister, Amelia. Treat her well or else I’ll kill you slowly and painfully.” She said with a little grin just as a stool was pulled out from where a pink haired individual sat manspreading on the plush couch.

“Have a seat, cupcake, we don’t bite.” The girl smirked as she sat forward almost curiously. Also an American.

“I especially mean that towards you, Vi.” Caitlyn’s expression morphed into a glare as she watched me cautiously lower myself onto the seat like it was going to give out below me any second. “Oh, and this is Ellie- Ellie Williams. Also a fresher. Ellie, Mills, this is… Jinx, Ekko, Jesse, Dina, you obviously know Jayce, Abby-”

“Bitch.” Ellie mumbled underneath her breath causing my eyes to widen for the thousandth time as she took the open seat next to me. “She totally knocked my lights out during practice today.”

“You have to have at least one light on to have them knocked out, Williams.” The muscular woman stated as she brought a glass of amber liquid up towards her mouth.

“Wow, didn’t realize hockey rivalries on the same team were a thing.” Caitlyn fought back a laugh as she went to take an empty seat of her own.

“Oh you have no idea.” Ellie grumbled a bit to herself as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Williams? She yours?” Vi cleared her throat as she nodded in my direction.

“Who? Amelia? I-I mean I wouldn’t complain but we’re just friends.” She answered immediately causing Vi’s eyebrows to lift.

“So- no intense feelings you guys are harboring or anything?” She questioned again as she stole glances between the two of us.

“Unless there’s something she’s not telling me?” Ellie wondered with a lifted brow as she looked towards me as if in confirmation. And it was then I realized how tightly I was clutching onto her hand below the table.

It wasn’t as if the two of us hadn’t thought about it. It wasn’t as if I had spent a solid number of nights in her bed whenever things got really tough. Ultimately though we had decided what we had as best friends was far too intense or precious to fuck up over a relationship. And also just the sheer fact that dating somebody you met in a psychiatric facility disguised as a ‘wellness retreat’ was probably a bad idea.

“No, just best friends.” I answered in a small voice with a simple shrug.

“Okay, so you won’t mind if I buy her a drink then?”

“Careful Vi.” Caitlyn growled from her spot on the couch across from her.

“Ummm, can you buy me a song on the jukebox instead?” I asked, and to my surprise a series of impressed sentiments filled the table. My eyes only furrowed in confusion however as I peered towards Ellie or Caitlyn for help, “What?”

“Because Millie, that was smooth as fuck.“ Ellie answered almost drawing a little laugh from my end.

“Lucky for you, doll, I can buy you both.” Vi spoke as she held a bruised hand out for me to take.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel any butterflies blooming in my chest at her words. The feeling of my heart kickstarting as I placed my hand in hers and let her lead me towards the bar. Her hand was warm and rough in my own, calloused but not in the way Ellie’s were from the constant plucking on her guitar. They were calloused in a far more aggressive way. I should’ve known I was heading towards my own demise in that moment. Falling down a hole I’d lose myself entirely in. An electric pull on my heartstrings that kept me close to her.

Fuck, I should’ve known it was only the start.

A/N: I AM SOOOOO EXCITED TO GET THIS UP!!!! I wanna know all your thoughts!! Tell me everything!! I’m so so SO beyond excited to write more of this I’m screaming!!

Also- psa I know a ton of characters don’t talk/aren’t really in this one. I promise they will be further on! Just need to get an establishing shot first! 🖤

-> Next Part

[jooba]

wolfman x reader

"Imagine getting the great news that you're one of a million civilians chosen to go to a distant planet, to intermingle with the local aliens. Unfortunately, your online friend doesn't exactly seem to like that idea."

TW: MDNI, reader referred to as 'girl', sexual desires, anxiety, neurodivergent reader, reader big dumb, licking, 'virgin' reader, hand appreciation

wordcount: 2,388

Three words: Civilian Space Program. The most incredible opportunity of a lifetime (for an average Joe like you).

One word: Congratulations! The letter you held in your shaking hands almost didn’t seem real. It was glossy, professional, and signed by someone so important that it was a 100% probability that you would never breathe the same air as them. Congratulations! But it was real, and your life would never be the same. You were going to space. To meet aliens. Your poor little heart almost couldn’t take it. Breath labored, you quickly snapped a picture of the letter before posting it to all of your socials. Quickly, friends and family bombarded you with questions and excitement, just as in disbelief as you are. Several phone calls later, and plenty of assurances to those with concerns, you fell back onto your couch, still clutching the letter. In just a month, you would be boarding a vessel with 14 other civilians, shipped off to the planet Geron 6GI, and left there for 3 years to “create relations” and “cultivate a human lifestyle”. Whatever that means. All you knew was that you… were a monsterfucker… and… well… aliens are sort of like monsters too. 

In your elation, you nearly missed the newest comment on your Instagram post. It was Peter, an online friend whom you had known for years. It simply said, “call me.” Peter knew about the program and how badly you wanted to be in it, but he was pretty adamant that your chances were too low. Smiling, you dialed his number. He answered on the first ring, speaking before you had a chance to.

“This is serious? You’re serious?” 

“Of course! I’m freaking out, Peter. I’m going to SPACE. I’m going to fuck so many aliens, you don't even know. Well, you do know, but-”

“You’re leaving in a month?” He asked. You kicked your legs in glee, squealing. 

“Yep! 3 years in space and depending on how the program goes it might go on for longer. God, should I bring my toys? Do you think they’ll even be allowed on the flight? But what if the aliens have toys that I can buy…” Your breath hitched just at the thought. There was silence on his end for a few moments.

“You’re a virgin.” Cheeks turning red, you scoffed into your phone.

“So what?” 

“So you’re giving yourself away to some random alien?” He hissed the word lowly, talking in a manner you had never heard from him before. You take a second to collect your thoughts, not understanding where his aggression is coming from.

“Peter… we live in the 21st century. Virginity is a stupid construct. Besides, I uh... I’m not really a virgin, you know.” 

“What?” 

“Ugh, can we not talk about this? So embarrassing…” You mumble, turning to a more comfortable position on the couch. There was silence as both of you struggled with what to say next. It wasn’t like you were actually embarrassed talking about sexual things, but Peter had a way of making your stomach flutter. It was awful having a mini crush on someone online, and even worse when he insisted on hearing all the details of your life. All the details. 

“I’m going to come see you.” He said, sighing into the phone. You froze, blinking in surprise. The two of you had never met in real life before, you’ve never even seen a picture of him! Sometimes, you would discuss meeting, but he lived a long flight away and schedules never seemed to work out. Over time, the thought of seeing him in person became too daunting, and you always shot him down. What if he thought you were too ugly to be friends with? What if the two of you couldn’t get along in person, and he lost interest? 

“A-are you sure, Peter?” You could hear the smile in his voice as he responded. 

“Of course.”

You stood nervously in the airport, shifting back and forth. People kept glancing at you, giving you curious glances. Avoiding eyes with an old troll whose beard desperately needed maintenance, you wiped the sweat from your face with your sleeve. Maybe you’d be less nervous if you had brought a friend with you to pick up Peter… Your phone buzzed with a text. 

landing now

You watch as the terminal quickly fills up with tired travelers. Eyes swiping back and forth from person to person, you attempt to pick out a man to match Peter’s description of himself. But his description was so vague, all you really knew was that apparently he was tall and had brown hair. 

Someone bumps into you, and your phone clatters to the ground. They quickly apologize but scurry away too quickly for you to get a good look at them. Grumbling, you bend down to pick up your phone, dusting it off and checking for cracks. When your eyes lift, your heart explodes in surprise at the wolfman standing before you. Hot! Inner you squeals. Standing nearly two heads taller than you, he’s lean and dressed very cleanly. Chestnut-colored fur streaks around his cheeks and neck, speckled with darker colors around his hairline and dipping underneath his shirt. Black eyes peer at you, squinting slightly.

“Oh, um. Hi!” You laugh nervously, tugging at your hair. “Just dropped my phone.” You wave your phone in front of you, but then quickly tuck it away when you realize how dumb you probably looked. The wolfman’s mouth slowly curls up into a predatory smile, top lip slightly gaped to allow for pointy fangs to peek through. 

“You’re cute,” he says quietly, eyes appraising your figure. You have to desperately ignore the urge to cover yourself from his evaluating gaze. You laugh weakly.

“T-thanks.” You give him a small smile. The two of you stare at each other for a moment. He hikes his backpack up over his shoulders, raising one eyebrow at you. Does he want something from you…? Oh god. Despite his good looks, it’s not the best time to be flirting with someone: not when you’re waiting for Peter. 

“I’m sorry. I’m.. uh… picking up a friend. Sorry.” You glance away from him, pretending to search the crowd for Peter. Why is he taking so long?

The wolfman grumbles with quiet laughter, almost a mixture of a purr and low-pitched whine. It's a rather charming sound. Suddenly, his clawed hand is on your scalp, rubbing against your hair to mess it up. He tugs certain strands this way and that, causing an absolute mess. You gasp, pulling away, quickly attempting to fix the mess he just made. 

“You’re even denser in person than I thought you would be,” he says, looking extremely satisfied at your misery. His ears twitch slightly. You pause, squinting up at him in irritation.

“Well, that’s rude. And please don’t touch my hair, I don’t know you.” You take a step back away from him in caution just to be safe. 

The wolfman huffs, rolling his eyes slowly. “That’s the thing. You do know me.” He pulls his phone out, and types onto it quickly, before looking at you expectantly. Your phone buzzes. A message from Peter. 

right in front of you. so dense.

You can’t quiet the gasp that leaves your mouth in time. You gape up at him, astonished.

“You never told me you were a wolfman!?!” 

Heart racing, you bring your knuckle up to your mouth and light chew on a finger. All these years, all the calls and long talks and he never thought to mention his species?! Oh god, you have said so many embarrassing things to him: things you would never say to a non-human. Things about giant monster cocks and clawed hands and fluffy sensitive ears and oh my GOD. You swear heat is steaming out of your ears with how embarrassed you are. 

“Didn’t think it mattered,” he shrugs. He reaches up to lightly scratch at one fluffy ear, maintaining eye contact with you. It twitches at his touch, apparently sensitive. You want to coo and squeal at how cute it is, but you restrain, just barely. Gnawing on your finger, you avert your eyes. You must not look at the handsome wolfman. Must resist. Must get Peter home without drowning in your drool…

One car ride home, hours of gentle ribbing and teasing, a desperate call to the nearest fast food joint, and a change into pajamas later, you find yourself sitting on your couch, a bowl of popcorn in hand, waiting patiently for Peter to join you. He’s taking a long time in the bathroom, but you’re not too worried. It seemed your apartment was a bit too small for him, and he was constantly ducking his head and squeezing past your furniture. Admittedly, it was really charming. You can’t help but shovel popcorn into your face as you wait. You can’t wait too long, otherwise the popcorn will get stale! In the middle of licking your fingers free from butter and salt, Peter plops down next to you. You slide down the couch and end up sitting right against you. He wraps an arm around you on the couch, hands already playing with your hair. He’s dressed in loose pajama pants and a t-shirt that says ‘You are fang-tastic!’ in faded letters.

“Really couldn’t wait for me, huh.” You smile in embarrassment, pulling your fingers out of your mouth. His dark eyes quickly zero in on your glistening fingers. Grimacing, you go to wipe them on your pants, but his hand wraps around your wrist before you can. You immediately notice how much bigger his hand is than yours, and how fur wraps around his knuckles but his fingers and palm are bare. 

“Let me,” he purrs, eyes drooping into half lids. He opens his mouth and a long, pink tongue rolls out. It’s rounded at the end and fades into a slight purple the further back it gets. You’re instantly drawn to it and watch in stunned silence as he brings your fingers up to his mouth. He licks a long stripe up your fingers before twisting and turning them to lap at every inch. Quickly, your fingers become drenched in hot saliva. You clench your thighs, wishing he would put that tongue somewhere else… A soft noise leaves you, and he meets your eyes again. You mentally berate yourself for having dirty thoughts about your friend. He nips gently at your pointer finger. You squeak and pull your hand away, face certainly red. You hold your hand to your chest limply, now drenched in saliva. You blink at him, words caught in your throat.

“Mmm… tastes good.” Right. Good popcorn. Ha ha… ha… The TV blares and the two of you startle at the noise. Peter is quick to grab the remote and mute it. He watches the quiet television for a moment, throat bobbing.

“Let’s talk for a moment, space girl.” His voice is almost... uncertain. You grin unabashedly at the nickname, pleased. It immediately calms you down and you find yourself relaxing.

“Sure!” You place the popcorn down and turn on the couch, facing him directly. He turns to face you as well, one leg crossing over the other. The arm around the back of the couch begins to tap on the cushion.

“Just let me talk for a moment, no interruptions, okay?” He raises an eyebrow when you open your mouth to respond, and you huff, but stay quiet.

“Honestly, I thought I was being pretty straightforward with you all this time, but with this space fiasco, I knew you weren’t exactly getting the message. Had to talk to you face-to-face. I’ll make this short and sweet, easy to understand. I don’t want you going to space.” He raises one hand when you look like you are about to object. Breathing deeply, he continues.

“Don’t go to space. Stay here. I’ll give you all the monster cock you want, promise… I’m not usually one to wait so long, but I knew during our first call I would have to take it slow with you. I’ve been biding my time all these years, slowly getting to know you, waiting for my chance. And then I saw your post. When I saw that, it left me ‘peterified’.” He chuffs at his joke, pleased. 

“So yeah, I’ve got feelings for you. And a lot of them revolve around ramming my cock down your throat. Or god, knotting you,” he sighs wistfully as he speaks. He looks like he wants to say more, but stops himself. 

.

.

.

Ho….ly…. SHIT! You’re frozen on the spot, mind racing with a thousand dirty thoughts. You’ve dreamt of this moment, dreamt of a monster desiring you. And now…now you’re presented with an opportunity. 

“F-forget space! Oh my god. Peter? Peter!” You’re squealing now, your body shaking with excitement. You stand up and begin pacing, not even really aware of what you’re doing. Peter relaxes on the couch, mouth tilted up in a sly smile.

“This is crazy. Are you serious? He’s serious. I-I need to shave! And prep! Oh god, I don’t know if I’m ready for this…” You bite at your finger nervously, the beginnings of nausea twisting your stomach. Who knew that aching and wanting something for so long would have you feeling so sick?

Peter tugs at your hand, slowing your pacing. 

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, you nut. Just breathe.” He breathes in deeply, and you copy him instinctually. He guides your breath into something much slower, much more manageable. You smile at him gratefully, falling onto the couch. 

“Sorry, this is just… a lot,” you sigh out. He shakes his head. 

“Not at all. Just take it easy.” He nudges your knee with his. “Just think about it, yeah?” You nudge him back, eyes twinkling.

“So, all this time you’ve…” you question. He simply nods his head.

“But you didn’t even know what I looked like?” You're surprised when his face starts to turn a gentle shade of red. He coughs into his fist, looking away. He speaks, in a cool tone that doesn’t match his cheeks, “Yeah, I knew right from the start. Your looks are just a plus.” 

Aaand now you’re looking away, embarrassed. 

“Oh, okay,” you mumble. 

[urauntiefaye]

I really appreciate you metioning neurodivergent readers in the daddy kink maki post. could you go more into detail with maki x autistic!reader? I find it hard in the kpop/jpop space to find people who even bring up being autistic, let alone write about it.

Maki x Autistic!Reader 🌸

WC: 1008 

TW: Talks of Autism, Autistic!Reader, Gender Neutral reader, Neurodivergent reader, Autism is a spectrum and it’s not the same for everybody so if you experience it differently than this that’s okay! Let me know if I forgot anything!

A/N: It’s never a problem! As someone who is neurodivergent I also find it hard to find anything jpop/kpop related things in regards to the neurodivergent space. Or honestly just anything to do with mental health, I personally love writing where the reader is neurodivergent or has other mental disorders like Bipolar, BPD, Major Depressive Disorder, literally ANYTHING like that because it kind of heals me a little if that makes any sense. But shout out to my bestie for helping me with this, even though a lot of my symptoms add up with Autism I have not been diagnosed with it (I have ADHD even though my doc wants to get me tested for Autism) And my bestie has been diagnosed with Autism so they helped me a lot with writing this. I hope you do enjoy this and if you see any errors hit me up! I’m always looking forward to educating myself on things like this. 

Maki is a very attentive person, he notices a lot of small things and is very considerate of others. Now I did say that Maki would be the perfect boyfriend to have for someone who is neurodivergent. But not in the sense that he knows exactly what to do right away. Mostly because that’s honestly unrealistic, even if he knows about Autism. He doesn’t know exactly what having Autism is for you since it’s a spectrum and everyone with Autism experiences it differently.

What I mean by this is that he will take the time to learn and try to understand you to the best of his abilities. Even though he doesn’t know what it’s like, he still goes out of his way to educate himself and ask his partner questions about it.  But he will struggle and might in the best of terms I can think of is “fails”(not the best word I know) in the beginning. For example: Maki is a very physically affectionate person, it’s one of his major love languages(got this from when Maki was crying because Harua didn’t like physical contact with him and he thought Harua didn’t like him at first). But sometimes his partner might get overstimulated or just in a mood where they just can’t stand physical contact at the moment. It’s not that they don’t love him, it’s just in that moment being touched literally irritates the fuck out of them or they just simply don’t want to be touched. At first he wouldn’t understand that, and would keep trying to maybe hold their hand or hug them. 

But because of the stimulation of it they may lash out because of it. If they do he wouldn’t get it and might get insecure about it, but once they explain to him why his negative emotions would fly out the window. He would then move on from that moment and ask them if it’s okay to touch them, sometimes he still does without asking but he at least makes an effort to make sure their not getting overstimulated by it. Another thing is loud noises or just too much noise. It’s no secret that Maki is a very loud individual, especially when he’s with his friends and members. Now even though his partner can be loud too, and bursts of moments of talking a lot. It’s usually only when they’re completely comfortable. But if they start getting overstimulated and the noises are getting too much he would try to find a way to help them. Like taking them to a quieter place, or giving them his headphones to help dial the noises down. He would try to pick up on the signs for when they’re starting to get overstimulated too. He’s always attentive to his partner and will learn the signs very quickly. He also learned fast not to mess with them when they’re stimming. At first he thought they were just anxious but learned that it was a way to regulate their emotions or help the overstimulation. 

When it comes to tone he always helps his partner, like if they take something literally or just didn’t pick up on the tone of someone's voice he will essentially take time to explain it to his partner. And he doesn’t get tired of it either, because he understands that they sometimes take everything literally or have a hard time reading people's expressions and moods. Doesn’t mind that his partner is considered “blunt” either, he actually prefers it. He hates when people sugarcoat things, and acts fake. That’s why he prefers to have a partner who speaks their mind even if it does come off rude sometimes, he gets that his partner isn’t trying to be rude. 

When it comes to food he’s super understanding about it, like if they can’t eat certain foods because of the texture he won’t make them eat it. If he’s trying something new and it’s in a flavor or texture they don’t like he will tell them so they don’t eat it. 

USES TONE TAGS WHEN TEXTING OMG, the start of the relationship when it came to texting it always led to misunderstanding which led to fights. So when he found out about tone tags he was on that shit and it’s become a habit for him now that he even uses it when he’s texting other people. He actually finds this just super helpful and thinks people should use them more often.

Is a huge supporter of his partners hyperfixations too! He will sit there and watch all episodes of his partner's favorite show. And will let them go on for hours telling him about this cool thing, even if it is just info dumping about the topic. Always shows interest in it too, whenever he sees an object in correlation to their hyper fixation in the store he buys it immediately. He honestly just loves and can’t get enough of the way his partner just feels so comfortable to talk about it and how they literally just sparkle up about it too. 

When his partner goes nonverbal he does get really concerned over it, but finds a way to communicate with them in alternative ways. Gets extra protective over them when they do go nonverbal, doesn’t force them to talk and doesn’t get angry. If someone says anything to them about it he will stand up and say something. 

Stays on their schedule, he understands that they like to have things a certain way and if it’s not they get pretty upset. Which is fine! He’ll work on it with them, but still works to make sure they have a set structure. 

Gets sad when his partner feels like they have to mask who they are just because society doesn’t deem them “acceptable”. Gets frustrated because things are only designed for neurotypicals. But he feels loved, and happy when his partner doesn’t mask around them because that means that they’re comfortable enough and trust him to not feel like they have too. 

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

A Critique of Riordan's: Neurodivergency

tldr: Rick made ADHD and dyslexia superpowers in the books which fit the time he wrote the books, but it's not accepted now cause it diminishes neurodivergent struggle. At the same time he made autism coded characters the 'annoying' ones and had a very racist thing of having the only neurotypical be Frank.

He tried to fix it in the show. It worked for about 3 seconds.

TW: Ableism, Autism speaks mention, r slur, anti-schizo stuff.

This paragraph is useless so don't read if you don't want to: Sitting in my drafts are 3 different 'A critique of Riordan's' posts i made as i tried to redo my full critique of the Riordanverse with a little more positive feedback and a little less Rick Riordan is the devil spawn. I have decided to not do it in order because because i watched the show and i noticed some things which were iffy and others which were great. So yeah neurodivergency first. Enjoy and think Critically.

Books

Research and Diversity

The books were written in the early 2000s for Rick's son who has ADHD and dyslexia

As a result, it takes on a very "your ADHD and dyslexia is a superpower" message which were popular during the time, but we recognise now has delegitimised neurodivergent struggles

Also as a result, the books were very focused on his son's symptoms, and represented ADHD as a monolith which quickly turned into stereotypes (e.g jumpy, impatient and fast reflexes becoming the connecting feature of half-bloods)

It got so unresearched that at one point he said:

He also talks about coffee in a similar way, despite sugar and coffee not making us more hyperactive and instead making us sleepy. Unless all the scientists and people with ADHD are wrong i really don't know this works.

and also said this: "Leo was extremely ADHD even by demigod standards" Like what

But the worst part about the PJO books was that the neurodivergency was limited to the first book. Percy's ADHD and dyslexia magically vanish and honestly it's only really brought back up in HOO every now and then (not very well might i add)

Ways he could have improved:

He could have given other characters, like Annabeth, more diverse symptoms of ADHD. It wasn't that hard, For Annabeth recognise that she as a 'gifted kid' is more likely to have undiagnosed and so have to face the issues related to being undiagnosed and/or being both a gifted kid and having ADHD, and then also give her more symptoms common to girls like being really chatty or frequently daydreaming.

Continuing having ADHD (and dyslexia) as constant parts of the novels rather than throwaway lines. Build it into the characters actions and persona rather than add it on like an accessory

Research. Never stop researching. Always reach out to people with the disorders and ask them to help. Writing is nothing without research.

Get sensitivity readers

Grammar

This is really minor, but he keeps say ____ was ADHD, and like gramattically that's a no. I am not a disorder i am a person with a disorder . Note for autism, the prefered grammer is Autistic person (aka turn into adjective and describe, something we can't do with ADHD)

Nico and Leo

Making Leo and Nico the 2 characters who were annoying and unlikeable (to everyone else not to fans) was really weird cause these 2 characters were the autistic coded ones.

NOTE: I did see a post explaining it better in the past, and i will link it when/if i find it again.

Tyson and the R Slur

I genuinely think he tried to make the r-slur scene show that it was bad, but the way Percy reacted to it wasn't quite right. Especially for childrens books these things need to be really clear. So it was good to make a bad bully character who was hated say it, but he could have made it better by skipping Percy saying "He’s not r*tarded" and go straight to "I had to try really, really hard not to punch Sloan the face."

The scene was ok, it could have been better, but again these were written in the 2000s, we have to acknowledge that.

Percy and School

Now this is interesting because this is more recent. Percy tried really hard in school and was smart, it was part of his characterisation. But he never did well in school, because that's how his disability affected him (especially since it was the American school system which we all know is shit and even more shit for people with learning disabilities).

The problem stems from TSATS, where Percy is made out to skip school, and not try at all (feeds into people with ADHD do bad cause they don't try/are lazy)

credits to @aroaceleovaldez

Racism: Frank Zhang

Frank Zhang the only Asian member of the 7 has no form of neurodivergency, despite the rest of them all having. It must be a just coincidence that there's a stereotype that asians are really smart and good at maths and the fact that the rest of the Romans have dyscalculia/s.

It's not weird at all that the character instead has lactose intolerance, which is really common in East Asia unlike dyslexia, ADHD or dyscalculia, which has such a low rate of diagnosis because there is a large stigma behind the disorders and because white people don't think Asians can have learning disabilities/s. No not weird at all that the dude is described with symptoms of dyspraxia but Rick refuses to recognise he is not neurotypical/s

I'm stepping out of sarcasm speak to remind you that Asians with learning disabilities are significantly less likely to get diagnosed with anything because:

because their parents won't let them until they have no other choice (glares at my parents) because there's a massive stigma behind intellectual/learning/development disorders in these communities

When we do try to get diagnosed our claims are diminished because of racist stereotypes and the belief that booksmarts/giftedness = no learning disability. It means most psychologists and psychiatrists (who are usually white) think that all Asians are smart so they don't ever have any form of neurodivergency and we're left to struggle.

Schizo Rep

Octavian. Villain. Schizo. Again.

Do i even need to explain this?

Show

Not actually a specific disorder - Percy just has a learning disability

Interestly Percy's dyslexia is just never talked about, And even his ADHD is never mentioned by name. He's got a random learning disorder which isn't specified. At first i assumed it was still ADHD cause the books, but watching more, you realise they aren't actually focusing on what learning disorder he has and what he has to deal with as a result of that. It's just a generic learning disorder.

Which is weird because learning disorders are all different and we all face different things, even with the same disorder. So placing all learning disorders in the same group? not good. Don't know what i expected from disney, but it wasn't this.

Autism Speaks

So the show tried to acknowledge that Percy was constantly told he was special and heroic when he really wanted to have help for his issues and for people to recognise that he has problems and those are bad. It also represented less stereotypical adhd symptoms (though whether that's because the disorder is no longer adhd or whether they wanted more inattentive symptoms to be present, we'll never know)

but then it went ahead and used a broken puzzle metaphor for his neurodivergency?

Puzzle piece metaphors when talking about any form of neurodivergency are a no go because the creators of the metaphor literally want Autistic people dead.

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE AUTISM, WE ARE NOT ALLIES TO THE AUTISM COMMUNITY IF WE USE THE LANGUAGE AUTISM SPEAKS CREATED

Not only that but a broken puzzle is not a good way to represent us anyways because NEURODIVERGENTS AREN'T BROKEN.

[thecoolnauta]

GENSHIN WITH A TEEN!CREATOR WHO IS LIKE LUZ NOCEDA

So yeah, just some brainrot I though while (crying) doing homework

TW: gn reader, teenager reader (ALL IS PLATONIC), some mentions of bullying but not that many, maybe sm angst and a lot of spoilers abut the archons missions

ALSO VERY BAD ENGLISH, IT'S NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE PLEASE DON'T MIND IT (also I have this feeling that this is gonna be long so maybe it would be part two)

So yeah, you are just some neurodivergent kid, trying to vibe with your especial interest but classmates are being mean like they got pay for it and not very friendly stuff

your dearest tutor (I didn't know If put mother or anything else) decided without telling you first to put you on a weird camp were IN TEXTUAL WORDS: "they will make you think inside the box"

And yeah you weren't doing that shit

Luckly you! some weird... random- CREATURE stole your (insert product of your special interest here) and ran away to a very old wood house you never notice before.

... SCREW THAT YOU ARE GETTING BACK THAT THING

You enter no the house without actually looking back, not minding at all the fact after you cross the old door you ended up in a wild life forest.

When you tried to get back to your city you found out that the door was gone, all the freaking house was gone.

"Don't panic, don't panic, QUENOCUNDAELPANICO, maybe the house had some uhhh… halogenous spores that are making me hallucinate hehe" you said before shouting your lungs out when you bite your arm and hurt... and bleed gold.

You weren't hallucinating, you were in a real place and your blood looked like liquid stars..

"carajo"

Trying to find someone to help you probably run all over the forest you went trap, finding that the animals really liked you and the flowers pratically flourished faster when you were around.

"Heh, this place is kinda nice, maybe I could stay a little longer"

It was night you rested your head over a wild boar who very cheerfully offered to be your pillow, some bunnies cuddle you and a little mockingbird started to sing for you to sleep.

You actually can get used to this, felling so warm, so loved by an unkown earth who seems to let you know all it's secrets...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEIR PRESENCE IS GONE?!"

"IT'S GONE"

All Teyvat (except for you) heard the cries of the Traveler and their rare pixie

After finding out the secrets of the Hydro archon of Fontaine, they decided to get a little walk before doing missions all over again.

BUT when Aether was resting their head and body on a tree, he felt the divine power and the warm scaping of his body like an armour being destroyed after a very rough battle.

You were gone, you abandoned him.

He almost fall into the sea, if It wasn't for Paimon that grab thim of the braid with all her little strength.

After that he just started to panic and cry all loud and to attack everyting that moves a bit to close to him.

(Paimon had to kick him into his face to stop him but shhhhh)

When he managed to splain himself, It was the turn of Paimon to get panic, only after Ather giving her a berry he had on his pocket she calmed down.

"...So what we do now, Do we tell the others?" the Traveler asked

"Paimon doesn't know, maybe we could them the Archons to-"

"Paimon, look at my eyes and repeat that again"

"Maybe we could..." she stayed quite a long time "yeah maybe they won't fully help us"

"What If we tell Albedo? He knows a lot of things about the Creator!"

"You're right! But we still have some missions to do here..."

"We do them as soon we can, also, we can wrote a letter to him so he would have time to investigate this more" he decided.

"Paimon needs to know now, let's do the request now!"

The flying girl disapeard and the yound boy stayed with a frown.

He could fell Teyvat, It felt different than before, even before he got trapped by the unkown godness.

It feel completed.

Aether just hope that nothing bad happends to all the persons he had the chance to meet. He hoped nothing bad happend to you.

I WOULD DEFINETLY NEED MORE FOR FINISH THIS

[ur-sick-and-married]

TROUBLES WILL BE OUT OF SIGHT (Christmas special)

(Bella Ramsey x reader)

TW: reader is neurodivergent, overstimulation, use of Y/N

SUMMARY: your partner is there for you when a Christmas party gets to be too much.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: we’re gonna pretend that Bella has a drivers license for this :p

------------------------------------------------

The house was chaotic, at least to you. Chatter came from every room, and new scents filled the hot air. You were at your girlfriend’s family’s Christmas party. At first, you were so excited. It felt like the family was accepting your relationship, so you were grateful for the invite. After hours of being there…you were ready to scream. Overstimulation was hitting you hard. You felt trapped.

Even though you had those feelings, you didn’t want to be rude. When lunch time rolled around, you sat and spoke politely, while internally breaking down.

The meal made things worse. The food was unfamiliar, the volume had somehow increased.

The second you could, you excused yourself. Instead of going to the bathroom like you claimed you would, you escaped to Bella’s bedroom.

Only a few minutes later, she found you in there, sitting on the edge of her bed, your head in your hands.

“Babe?” Bella said, standing in the doorway.

You lifted your head to look at her, your leg bouncing rapidly.

“I’ll be back in a sec.” You told her shakily.

“I’m not worried about that.” She closed the door behind her. “I’m worried about you.”

Your head returned to your hands. It was hard to hide this stuff from her.

They stood in front of you, a hand on your head. “Talk to me…”

“I…needed a break.” You muttered.

“Why?” He pried. Bella always had a way of making you open up.

You sighed. “I like your family, really. Everything is…I don’t know, just-“

A loud bang of some sort and the following laughter from downstairs interrupted you. It made you jump, and tense up enough to shake slightly. Bella immediately realized what was going on.

Silently, they grabbed something from their desk, and returned to you. She knelt down in front of you and offered a small fidget toy. You accepted it, grateful. They took your face in their hands, their thumbs caressing your cheeks.

“Breathe, okay?” She murmured.

So you started taking deep breaths. Bella gently moved their hands, enough to massage your ears, which muffled the commotion while you calmed down.

Once your breathing evened out, and your tension faded, she placed her hands on your arms, squeezing a little.

“You wanna know how I get through the holidays?” He said softly.

You nodded, curious. She tucked her hair behind her ears, revealing small earplugs. They weren’t heavy duty, just enough to keep things at a good volume.

“Really?” You asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” She smiled. “Feels a bit rebellious, doesn’t it? Being able to tune people out…but it helps.”

They held up a hand, showing their rings. “Plus, my jewelry is my fidget toy.”

You smiled a little. She was so smart with these things.

“Those are good ideas.” You commented, your voice small.

“I like to think so.” She teased.

You laughed quietly, which made them grin.

“You know,” She murmured. “You seem to be doing better, but a break could be nice. There’s this great little place that sells hot chocolate down the street. You up for a drive?”

“That would be great.” You sighed.

“Okay, babe,” She nodded. “Let’s leave quickly. I don’t want you getting overwhelmed again.”

Bella took your hand, and led you downstairs. While you slipped on shoes and coats, Bella called to her mother, “Mum, Y/N and I are running out for a hot chocolate! Don’t wait on us for dessert!”

Bella pulled you outside, and you two got in the car, her driving. She put on some holiday music. You were starting to relax. She always knew how to make you feel better.

They drove to a small cafe, and ran in to get the drinks. You waited in the car. It would be too much to go inside.

“Alright!” Bella said when they got back. “Order up! Two hot chocolates! Be careful, love, it’s very hot.”

“Thanks, Bella,” You whispered. “For everything.”

“Don’t thank me.” She took your hand. “I’m your girlfriend. I’m doing my job.”

“Yeah, I know,” You smiled. “But you could be doing a really shitty job, and you’re not. You’re just…amazing.”

“I try to be.” She shrugged.

“Would you take the compliment?” You groaned.

“Fine! I’m a lovely person!” She laughed.

Once the drinks cooled down, you both enjoyed them. After a while, Bella drove home. You were feeling good, more regulated, but you were nervous to return to the loud house.

“Alright, babe,” Bella said, the car parked.”You ready?”

You sighed, looking at the house. “I guess.”

You went to open the door, but she stopped you. She dug around in her pocket, and pulled out a tiny case. When she popped it open, earplugs were inside.

“You can borrow these, if you’d like.” He said quietly. “They’re my spares, so they’re not dirty. I think they could help you.

You took the case, looking at the contents.

“I’ll still be able to, like…hear people talking to me, right?” You asked.

“Yes, babe,” She smiled. “I’ve been talking to you all day, haven’t I?”

You put the earplugs in. You could still hear, but unnecessary background sounds were muffled. It was nice.

“One more thing…” Bella said. She slipped one of her rings off, then took your hand. She put the ring on you, giving you something to discreetly fidget with.

You gave her a kiss, before braving the chaos and heading back inside.

[tragicxensemble]

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One More Chance (At Love) (Pt.1/?)

Slowburn Mark Sloan x Reader x George O'Malley

TW/CW: Mentions of medical terms and just overall Grey's anatomy gore, social anxiety/ anxiousness, Christina being passive-aggressive to the reader of you squint, Love triangle, jump cuts

Disclaimer/Summary:

‼️ SEASON 2 SPOILERS!! ‼️

AJ's a new intern at Seattle Grace Hospital and the niece of Miranda Bailey. She has an average reputation and never heard of 'McSteamy' a.k.a Mark Sloan upon moving to Seattle and working at Seattle Grace. Not understanding the hype around him nor falling for his charm, he ends up falling first and hard because he thinks she's "hard to get". He tries his best to flirt with her but to no avail, because she never picks up on any of those social cues to realize that he has been flirting with her the entire time because of her being neurodivergent (specifically AuDHD). Besides Mark, there's also someone else who has been eyeing AJ since they met.

Ps: This is mostly a self-insert but you can still read and enjoy this!! It's been a while since I've made a fic and I think it's time for a fresh start :). This takes place in mid-season 2 (specifically episode 9, a month before the Thanksgiving part of the episode starts then jumpcuts to the events of the Thanksgiving episode) to around the end of season 3. There are a lot of jump cuts in this fic and rhe reader is black

Wc: 3.4k

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@spexialvixtimxunit @verytalented

Seattle Grace Hospital. A hospital filled with opportunities and so much drama that it could be a full-course meal. That is, of course, if you're interested in having surgeries and nonstop sleepless nights on the menu. If so, then sign me up. Having the opportunity to work in the same hospital as my Aunt was a blessing and a curse. She knew that I was studying to become a surgeon, but what she didn't know was that I would be working in the same hospital as her. The other interns around me called her 'The Nazi' but I simply called her Auntie Mandy.

No one knew that she was my aunt so they had no room to treat me differently because of my association with her. I deserved to be in that surgical program just as much as they did. I worked my ass off to become a well-respected doctor, not a punching bag for bottomless insults. So, my strategy to survive the internship came in 3 easy rules. A guide that I follow every day.

1. Befriend the Nurses.

This step was relatively easy. I'm always kind to everyone I meet unless they give me a reason to be mean. Plus, I would hate to get stuck on doing rectal exams or sutures for hours on end just because I pissed a nurse off. They're human beings just like me and deserve equal respect because it took them years of med school to get to where they are.

2. Keep to myself and only speak when spoken to (a.k.a practically become invisible to almost everyone unless I'm given instructions to complete a task.)

Now, this step is a relatively difficult one to follow. I have no clue who I will encounter upon being on Auntie Mandy's service and they would make my experience at SG unpredictable. I won't let them get to know me upon surface-level things about me. It's too risky for them to find out even the smallest incriminating detail about me. I'll just have to wait for the right moment to tell anyone that Bailey is my Aunt.

And lastly, my most hated rule.

3. NEVER unmask, unless necessary.

Masking in itself is extremely difficult. If I show any sign of my neurodivergence to neurotypicals who don't understand what it's like to hide parts of yourself every day 24/7, I'm looking at weeks of being a laughing stock and judged by everyone. Even though this is a possibility, the road to being a surgeon is never easy for anyone.

So, with that being said you would say that I have 3 impossible rules to follow. I would have to try my absolute hardest to not expose myself but also to be on top of my game in this program if I want to make it in the real surgical world.

-------

My alarm rings at the ripe time of 5 am. I had to be at the hospital by 7:00 am before 7:30 am rounds started and before I could officially be assigned to my resident. I knew before today that I was going to be assigned to Auntie Mandy because of the letter in the mail a few weeks ago declaring my official internship and transfer to Seattle Grace. As well as what day I would start working. Transferring hospitals is like transferring schools, you have to start all over again in a new place. New environment. With completely new people. People who are already used to each other and probably friends with each other. Whereas I'm the new kid, the outcast. The kid that sits alone during lunch while everyone has already created their cliques.

I took a few deep breaths before getting out of bed to stop myself from becoming anxious at the thought of all the wrong outcomes that could happen. I made sure to pack comfort snacks the night before and an emergency meltdown/overstimulation bag that consisted of earplugs, a few small but effective fidget toys, compactable noise-canceling headphones, and an mp3 player that has my comfort songs on speed dial. I made my bed, as I usually do to start my morning. Following up on that, I meditated and did yoga for an hour and a half. It's a way to calm and ground myself before I tackle whatever the day brings me.

I did my morning routine and skin care before heading back to my room, to change into my outfit.

By this time it was already 6:40 am. I had enough time to spare to moisturize my locs and bring a scrunchie with me so that I could put my hair up when needed at work. I made sure to grab my messenger bag and my snacks for the long shift and promptly left my apartment at 6:50 am. The drive to work was roughly 15 minutes but ended up being 20 minutes with traffic. I didn't live far away from the hospital, which was alright in my opinion. I arrived there at 7:05 am and began to park. After I parked and got out of the car, a motorcyclist drove up loud and parked 2 spots away from me.

Right in the middle of my car and the motorcycle came another car with 2 women and a guy who I'd assume knew the female motorcyclist because the group of 4 joined each other and I began walking into the building behind them. Mid-walk, another guy joins the group after what I'd assume was his morning jog. He was huffing and saying something I couldn't make out because of me keeping my distance from them so that they wouldn't assume that I was following them even though I was. I had no freaking clue on where anything in this ginormous hospital was. Sure I had a tour of the hospital but it's so easy to forget the layout when I've only been in it once.

While we waited for the elevator I quietly said, "Excuse me," as I tapped the shoulder of a brown-haired guy with cute doe eyes. He stopped talking with the blonde-haired woman and turned to face me. "I'm sorry, but could you help direct me to the surgical locker room? I'm not entirely sure where it is." As I was speaking the rest of the group turned to look at me, which was not intimidating in any way. (Yes it was.) "Yeah sure, We're actually on our way there." says the doe-eyed guy. "I'm George O'Malley by the way, that's Izzie Stevens, Alex Karev, Meredith Grey, and Christina Yang. We're all surgical interns." George introduced the names to the faces of everyone and I hoped for the best that I could remember their names.

"Oh, I'm AJ. AJ Brown. I'm also an intern here. It's my first day." I spoke. "What! That's cool, we could show you around sometime!" Izzie said as the elevator dinged. I nodded and followed their lead and got on the elevator with them, standing near the back of it. I listened as they talked about how their mornings went. The elevator stopped at the second floor. After making a few turns into the corridors, we finally made it to the locker room.

"What's your locker number?" Meredith asked as she began to walk to her locker. "Uh, it's G - 23," I responded as I looked around at my surroundings. Everyone was already getting changed. "Oh, nice you have a locker next to me!" Izzie smiled. The digital clock on the wall read 7:15 am, there was enough time to change into my scrubs and have my pager and stethoscope ready. As I was putting my shoes on Meredith spoke to me, "So, AJ, where are you from?" She asked as she closed her locker door. "Oh, I'm from a small town in Illinois," I answered. "What's a city girl like you doing all the way here in rainy ol' Seattle? Besides to work here?" Alex chimed in, "Family, stuff." I spoke shortly, in hopes of ending the conversation.

"That's nice that you can be near family here. Also, who's service are you on?" Izzie asked. "I have Dr. Bailey," I spoke as I stood up while closing my locker. "Awesome, she has the Nazi too." Christina deadpanned as they all began to finish up. "Christina, be nice!" Meredith nudged Christina's arm and tried her best to whisper that to her but failed. "We can show you where she is today." The group leaves the locker room and I trail behind them to find my Aunt.

We head to the elevator and we make it to the third floor, where we come to a spacious waiting area and a front desk that I'd assume contained charts and other important patient information. Among the crowd of people walking around stood Auntie Mandy, writing in a chart binder at the front desk. "Good morning Dr. Bailey." They all said one by one, before George spoke, "I think we have a new intern with us that's on your service." That sparked her to look up from the chart. "New intern? What new intern?" She said almost with an attitude. They all miraculously parted like the Red Sea to reveal my presence to her.

"Well, I'll be damned! If it isn't AJ!" Bailey replied with a smile before running up to hug me, which shocked the group as if they had never seen her act sweet towards anyone. She released me from her grasp and said, "I had no idea they were assigning you to my service! How's your mom? I know everyone must miss me back there in Illinois." Bailey chirped. I hesitated and replied shortly, "Everyone's fine and they do." I laughed awkwardly. "Wait? How do you know Dr. Bailey and how does she know you?" Christina asked, answering the burning question that was floating around in everyone's head.

"She's-" Before Dr. Bailey could finish her sentence our pagers went off. Talk about being saved by the bell. Or beep in this case. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in as we all began to follow Bailey's orders on where to be assigned. George ended up being the one to be my guide for the day as I helped him with patients and got used to doing checkups and filling out charts for a few hours. After that, Bailey assigned George to teach me how to run labs and work on sutures in the pit, as well as prescribing actual medicine to the patients. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime.

"Hey, would you like to have lunch with me? I'm usually with everyone because we all eat together sometimes." George asked softly as we headed to the cafeteria I assumed. "Uh, sure." I agreed. I brought a simple lunch with me, a turkey sandwich, apple slices, and carrots. While George offered to buy me apple juice. As I began to sit down next to George, Christina let out a loud groan and said lowly to herself, "Why did George invite someone we barely know to lunch, it's like she's his pet or something." This time Merideth kicked Christina's leg under the table, which caused her to verbally say 'ow' in response.

Upon hearing that comment, before I could start eating I got up and excused myself by saying, "I think left my pager in my locker. I'm gonna go get it." I grabbed all of my things and left immediately, what did I expect from a bunch of strangers? I found an empty hallway with abandoned beds and I ate in silence.

George's POV

AJ grabbed her things and speed walked away. Christina scoffed and spoke, "Looks like she ran off to go find her mommy, Dr. Bailey," Everyone let out laughs at Christina's 'joke' if you even call it that. "Enough!" I yelled as I slammed my hands on the table, "She has been nothing but nice to you guys and this is how you treat her on her first day? People deserve chances and you guys never even gave her that option to one." I grabbed the rest of my lunch and stormed off in hopes of finding AJ, before hearing out what everyone was going to say to my brief speech.

AJ's POV

I was almost done eating my lunch when I heard a familiar voice say, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" It was George. What a relief. "You have?" I said as I finished the last of my apple slices before I threw away the remaining trash. "Look, I'm sorry that they were mean to you, they don't like new people coming into their space." George apologized before he sat somewhat next to me. "You don't have to apologize for them George, it's not your place to apologize for them." I feigned a smile to try to reassure him.

"Sometimes they make fun of me too. And I wonder if they're my friends or if I'm convincing myself that they are," George confessed. "Well, can you be yourself when you're around them?" I questioned. George didn't answer. "If you have to think about it for a long time then maybe you should reconsider if they are your friends. Real friends don't make fun of you for being you. They appreciate your uniqueness and don't judge you." I declared. "It seems like you're a friend expert." I laughed a little at his comment. "I've had a lot of friends but never kept any of them so I know what it's like." I spoke truthfully, "Thanks for the lunch, George." I thanked him before I walked away once again.

-----

By that evening, my hands and feet were tired from walking and constantly talking to all the people. I desperately needed time to recharge my social battery because I could feel myself starting to get overstimulated. The lights were starting to get too bright and the bustling noise could make anyone go insane. I had a few minutes to myself in the on-call room so I spent it playing with my Tangle fidget toy and listening to a playlist of my favorite Michael Jackson songs in the dark while lying down on one of the beds on the bottom bunk. Needless to say, I ended up falling asleep for a good hour before I faintly heard the door open.

"AJ, wake up, Dr. Bailey needed me to find you," George said as he tapped my shoulder in an attempt to wake me. I groaned before sitting up on my elbows and glaring at him for waking me up, "I'm sorry to wake you but she needs more hands in the pit." He confessed which caused me to roll my eyes. I nodded before shoving my MP3 player and fidget toy down in my lab coat pocket. I put my shoes back on while George watched and we both headed out to the pit together.

Only a few more hours to go.

------

My first 12-hour shift was finally over. The aching in my feet was beyond compare even though I had comfortable shoes on made for walking. I went back to the locker room to change and I found myself left with a few people and George changing near me. "Are you autistic? I mean, if you are that's okay with me. I won't tell the others if you don't want to tell them so that they don't make fun of you. I'm not saying that they will but they can be mean sometimes. Well, not Izzie. Wait no, Izzie can be mean sometimes but not in-" I just stared at him until he finished rambling.

"Sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to assume or anything. It's just that I-" George began again before I stopped him. This must have been on his mind all day. "Yes, I'm autistic and I have Adhd as well. And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone because I don't want any attention on me about it. People will treat me differently." I shrugged it off to George as I grabbed my bag. "Can I ask why?" George said as he sat down on the bench. "Why what?" I replied, not looking at him. "Why don't you want to tell anyone?" I let out a huff and closed the locker before I faced him.

"This is breaking my rules," I mumbled, "Rules? What do you mean?" There was confusion in his voice but I could hear that he wanted to understand. "Ever since I was a kid, I always knew that I was different. I never had a lot of friends growing up and I never was invited to birthday parties because of how people treated me for being different. I don't normally spill my life to people I just met but I feel like I can trust you. I've been judged about my diagnosis of AuDHD. There's no point in trying to be myself when I can be what people expect me to be."

"But doesn't that get tiring? Having to mask all the time?" He asked and I nodded quickly. "It's hard to get a break and for people to not stare at me when I stim and fidget," I said disappointingly, "But what do I expect?" I shrugged it off and began to make my way to the door. "It's hard being myself in a room full of people who don't get you, but thanks anyway for trying to understand George, have a good night."

And with that, I once again walked away. It's becoming a habit now.

------

(A month later, at the start of episode 9)

------

Izzie had invited me over to help cook and decorate the house for Thanksgiving. I wore a simple outfit, a black long sleeve with denim jeans and black Converse. My favorite brand of shoes.

When I arrived I was greeted by Izzie rushing to get me inside. "I need you to get George for me, he's upstairs and he's supposed to be helping me cook but he hasn't left his room yet," Izzie said frantically. "Oh, okay. Um. Where exactly is his room? I've never been here before." I said while taking off my leather jacket and Izzie hanging it up for me.

"It's up the stairs, down the hall, and to the right." I listened to her directions and I reached George's room. I gently knocked on the door and waited for a reply. "Come in!" George said from the other side. I carefully opened it and saw him fully clothed on his bed with his eyes shut. "Why are you just lying on your bed?" I spoke as I closed his door behind me. He quickly opened his eyes, not knowing it was me.

"AJ! I- when did you get here?" He hurried and sat up to look at me. "I got here just now, not too long ago. You know Izzie wants you downstairs to help right?" I sat down on the end of his bed before he plopped back down with a huff. "I know but I'm afraid to go out there." I quirked a brow, "Afraid? Why would you be afraid?" As I said that he held his hands up and began counting down from 10. A thunderous noise arose from downstairs, and just when he reached zero, 3 men barged into his and screamed, "O'Malley!!"

Startled by the sudden noise, I looked at George for an answer. "Because of that." George huffed again. "Georgie, since when did you have a girlfriend? And she's hot too." I was taken aback at the man's comment. "C'mon, you know Georgie never gets laid," George rolled his eyes before getting up, trying to hide his embarrassment from me. "Please ignore my idiotic brothers," He began to go to his closet and grab camo wear. "Where are you going? Aren't you going to help Izzie?" There was desperation in those chocolate-brown eyes of his, and just when he was about to explain himself the older man chimed in and said, "Our Georgie is gonna kill his first turkey this year, I can feel it!"

"Dad you know Georgie isn't gonna kill a turkey, he never does." His eldest brother spoke, "No, he's gonna chicken out like how he usually does-" "Shut up!" George says while his brothers laugh, his face turning as red as a tomato now. "I'll be back as soon as I can to help. I promise I won't miss dinner." George tells me as he puts on his beanie and I thought he couldn't look any cuter. "Well, you better tell Izzie that," I scoffed as his family began to drag him out of the room chanting 'O'Malley' over and over again until they were down the stairs and out of the door.

"I don't think they're coming back any time soon." Izzie whined, "I hope he doesn't actually kill a bird."

---

[camillesblogsposts]

Protective Ellie

Request by anonymous!! Summary: You’re injured by a perv. Ellie loses her shit. Also?? Neurodivergent reader?? I am autistic and I kinda struggle to write from a perspective that isn’t U^ェ^U tw!! Kinda super duper crazy Ellie!!

You had recently stopped working on patrols altogether following an ‘incident.’ You weren’t paying attention to your surroundings and were tackled by an infected; to you, this was simply a mishap. To Ellie, it was a near death experience to be taken seriously. Ellie rescued you. It had became a too frequent occurrence. Honestly, you weren’t entirely capable for patrols. You were antsy, nervous and skittish. You weren’t physically nor emotionally capable. But, you got to be with Ellie. Now, you didn’t. You were stuck working at home making herbal remedies and soaps and such to trade at the markets during the day and working at the pub during the evenings.

“Ells, can I please not just join patrols again? It’s horrible being in that bar.” You whined, shoving your head into her chest dramatically. “No, sorry baby, you’re safer this way.” She was mildly irritated but she hid it well, stroking your hair and tucking it behind your ear. “What if I get super strong like you?” You giggle, looking up at her with big doe eyes. She smirked, “You wanna get muscly like me?”

“Well, no, but if I was then would I be able to be on patrols again?” You pouted. “You’re done with patrols, kay? Just forget about it, it’s for your own good silly.” Ellie was obsessed with keeping you sheltered lately. She had been growing paranoid again. She wasn’t sleeping. She’d stay awake at night watching you, stroking and kissing your face gently. Even as she stood speaking to you, the thought of you being possibly endangered made her nauseous. “Well, I don’t wanna be at the bar anymore.” You huffed, shoving her away gently in defiance. She had enough, this argument having spanned a week now. She ignored you and walked to grab her patrol bag.

Ellie walked to the door and opened it, turning back to speak before she left. “Be good, okay?” It was a rhetoric. “I don’t wanna go there, it’s loud and noisy and there’s so many people.” You threw yourself back onto the bed. She didn’t say anything else and left before you could confront her on her neglect. You had no other real choice than to get ready for the bar. Ellie contributed so much, you had to too. You needed to prove to her that you too were worth something. That you were just as useful as her. Begrudgingly, you got dressed into a black dress and apron. You made a small effort with makeup; homemade. A little blush and lip stain from berries. You knew it would excite her when she’d see you.

You walked to the bar and got to work; scrubbing tables, pouring pints, talking to the random middle aged men. Joel’s crowd. You were hugely popular already, people bringing you small presents as tokens of their appreciation for your service. A little bracelet, pin and book about birds were what you had collected on this evening. A girl around your age brought you an iced tea she had made at home for you. It was too fruity for your taste but you thanked her profusely and got her a little platter of snacks to take to her table with her friends. She seemed excited by this, keeping coming back to talk to you even though she didn’t need anything. It confused you. The pub was an overwhelming environment and not exactly knowing what a customer wanted from you intensified this. Regardless, you worked hard to keep up with every order made and conversation started.

A few hours into your shift people started to flood in, it was around 7pm and most people were finishing the work day. At this point, you were feeling overworked. Your body got a little shaky, you felt warm. When it got like this you kind of felt like you weren’t there any more. It was almost as if your consciousness had left your body and moved just a few inches forwards. You wanted Ellie and caught you whining to yourself as you thought about her. She would be here soon, you reminded yourself. Only an hour or so to go.

The girl came back up to the counter. She was pretty much wasted at this point. She was wearing a denim jacket, you noticed. She had a bad hair cut. “Hey again darling” She spoke, hand reaching across the counter to land on your forearm. “Hey, can I help?” You felt mildly uncomfortable at the nickname but it wasn’t uncommon in this environment. “What’s your name again?” She asked, looking you directly in the eyes. It was unnervingly direct. “Y/N.” You suddenly grew concerned she has been dissatisfied with your service. “Mine is Kaia, are you busy after this?” She still hadn’t removed her hand from your arm and you awkwardly stepped back to separate yourself. You were genuinely confused, now it became obvious why she had been so persistent, but you couldn’t wrap your head around why she would be so bold with you. Was she new here?

“Um, yeah I am actually.”

“Oh really? Well, I’m sure you could use some company.” She turned, and for a moment you thought she was just abruptly leaving, but then she walked left and behind the counter to stand beside you. You were started to shake a little more. She grabbed your arm with her hands, she smelt of alcohol. Nobody in the pub seemed to notice. Her friends had left.

“So? Where you live?” She almost burped as she spoke. You wanted Ellie a lot more, now. “You’re hurting me,” You spoke, breathily and much more quiet than you had intended. You noticed how tight your throat felt. You were going lightheaded. Her grip on your arm tightened.

“Ye? You like that, eh?”

“My girlfriend is going to be here soon.” You realised that maybe she just didn’t know it was you, Ellie’s girlfriend. She didn’t back off whatsoever. She obviously had no idea who Ellie was at all. Definitely a new resident.

“Oh yeah? Who’s your girlfriend, darl?” She whispered this through a hiccup, her face drawing in close to you as her hands gripped onto both of your arms.

Then, she was thrown back over onto the open cabinets, clattering into the glasses. They smashed, she fell to the floor in a slump. It happened so quickly that you couldn’t quite comprehend what had happened. You stood for a moment in a daze, just looking down at her. Blood was splattered on her denim jacket from the broken glass. You couldn’t hear, your eyes grew blurry.

You felt hands on you and you yelped, jumping forwards and shoving your head into your hands in defence. It was Dina, pulling you back. Her face was soft with concern. It calmed you down instantly and your vision returned to you. Ellie was stood over Kaia, relentlessly striking her face with her fist- “I’m her fucking girlfriend.” She was screaming, “Fucking scum, I’m gonna fucking kill you.” It was abnormal. You stumbled forwards, wanting to hold Ellie, wanting her to hold you. Dina held you tightly to stop you from going over. The pub was in chaos. People were screaming for Ellie to stop.

Ellie took a glass from the floor that hadn’t shattered and smashed it into the girls face before punching her a final time before being dragged off by Joel. The girl was covered head to toe in blood, unconscious on the floor. You worried that Ellie had actually killed her, and then she twitched on the ground. Maria pulled her up alongside her friends that had earlier left but must’ve returned upon hearing the commotion, Joel pulled Ellie the opposite direction towards you. You ran to her.

“Ellie, Ellie oh my god, are you okay?” You only just realised that you had been crying, your face was soaked. Your body was vibrating. “Joel get the fuck off me-” Ellie was still screaming, thrashing. She almost didn’t notice you standing there. He didn’t let her go until Maria had left with Kaia and the pub doors had been shut closed, everybody having been hurried out.

“I’m gonna fucking kill her” She was furious, her voice sounding animalistic. You grabbed onto her. You didn’t know what else to do. You wrapped your arms around her torso and put your face into her chest, pushing as hard as you could. You just wanted her to hold you, so so so badly.

She wrapped her arms around you too for a moment, and then quickly kneeled down on the floor before you. She wrapped an arm around your back and looked up at you, eyes glossy. “Fuck, are you okay?” She sounded so incredibly pained. You could tell she was already blaming herself. You nodded, still crying. She stood up again to kiss you, she kissed your forehead and cheek. “Who is she? I’ve never seen the fucking freak before.” You shrugged. You knew what Ellie would do if she knew her name.

“Joel, who the fuck was that?”

Joel looked antsy and irritated. “Ellie, it’s over now, you need to make sure that Y/N is okay.” Dina nodded, looking back at you. Her eyes were glossed over with tears.

“It wasn’t that bad, all she did was grab my arms.” You felt horrendous. You caused all this. Ellie scoffed loudly, “She was about to kiss you.” Her voice went high pitched with irritation, dramatically throwing her hands out as she spoke. You felt like you were going to cry again.

“I’m sorry.” You hiccuped, arms crossed defensively around your body. Ellie was neglecting you, she paced angrily, occasionally hitting her head into her hands. Joel was trying his best to calm her down but he was just growing equally frustrated, dwelling on what happened. Dina stroked your arms, kissing the top of your head to comfort you. She told you about her day. She’d seen wild horses. It was like this for around ten minutes before Joel finally let Ellie leave to take you home.

The walk home was a blur. You were shivering like crazy and you and Ellie didn’t exchange a single word. She had draped her coat over your shoulders and walked with her arm wrapped around you, pulling you into her chest with each step. Once inside, Ellie took her coat from you and led you to the bed. You sat perched and she removed your shoes for you.

“Can I take off these clothes?” She asked, voice cracking. You nodded and held out your hands to cup her face tentatively. “Wanna see your face.” You spoke, teary eyed. Ellie melted. She tried her very hardest not to cry, her whole body aching like she had been doused in boiling hot water when she’d walked into that pub and seen that girl gripping onto you. Her skin was left sizzling. She came and sat beside you on the bed, keeping her eyes on your face as she undressed you gently and quickly.

“Bath or shower?” She asked, she was trying to distract the both of you. You noticed the dried blood on her hands and shirt.

“Can we bath together?” You asked as she wrapped a blanket from the bed around you. “Yeah, course, c’mon then.” She made you stand in the bathroom with her whilst she ran it.

“Are you scared of me?” She asked, quietly. You shook your head immediately, “Of course not Ellie, I could never be scared of you.” You hushed her, leaning your head into the crook of her shoulder. She picked you up, trying to play and make you feel a little better, and dropped you off in the bath. You giggled a little, forgetting what had happened in the moment. She stood before you and undressed. Seeing her there made you feel so safe and warm. How could you ever be scared of her?

She got inside, sitting opposite you. She opened her legs, “C’mon, sit here.” She beckoned you with a finger. You did quickly, glad to feel her skin on yours. “Ellie, when she was scaring me all I could think of was how I knew you’d protect me.” That sort of put your thoughts into context for her. You both knew she went too far. But, secretly, you were grateful for it. Ellie would kill for you. She’d kill someone for leaving a bruise on your skin, the way her finger tips did on your arms. It gave you a deep sense of satisfaction that you couldn’t understand. Ellie loved you so deeply that it couldn’t just be understood.

Ellie wrapped her arms around you and cuddled you tightly into her chest. “I’m so so sorry that I didn’t stop her before she could touch you.” She mumbled into your back, you could feel how tense she was. “You couldn’t have known, it’s not your fault Ells,” your voice was quiet. You were hurting so badly seeing her like this. “You’re never going back to that fucking bar again.” She grumbled, kissing your shoulders.

“Do I get to be on patrols again?” You chirped up, fluttering your eyelashes at her over your shoulder. “For now, not letting you out my fucking sight.” She kept kissing you, stroking your arms and hair. You smiled a little. Ellie washed your hair and body for you so so gently, so careful to not hurt you. She looked broken when it came to your arms, scrubbing away whatever remnants of that girl remained. She got you wrapped up in a towel and took you into the bedroom. She quickly got dressed into her ‘pyjamas’ (a t shirt and boxers) and waited for you to dry off until you felt comfortable enough to get dressed. You hated damp skin on cloth.

She plaited your hair, kissed your forehead and pulled you into bed, spooning you.

“Will you tell me a story?”

“Course baby, what type?”

“A princess one.”

“Well, once upon a time there was a super cool princess called Y/N, she was into flowers and plants and knitting. She met a knight that equally liked dinosaurs and space, well basically, they fell in love and got married and cuddled just like this every single night. And the knight killed allll the dragons that ever came close to the princess.” Ellie’s rambling was so funny to you, you giggled the whole time, her fingers wrapping around your hips to tickle you lightly.

“What a lovely knight.” You joked, kissing the tip of her nose. “You’re the worlds most beautiful princess.” She kissed you, and again and again. She was being so careful with you. It made your stomach feel so warm.

You fell asleep like that, waking up hours later. Ellie was gone. She’d left her jumper bundled up beside you and your two teddies in your arms. You knew what she was doing. You went back to sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, Ellie was showering. You walked in the bathroom, sneaking up and surprising her. She didn’t jump, smirking down at you. “C’mere, my little dipshit.” She grabbed your face and kissed you hard. You went about your day like normal aside from the occasional gentle pulling in of Ellie and a little whisper asking if you’re okay. You were, you knew you were safe again. Ellie was with you and nobody would ever be seeing Kaia again.

[stardusthuntress]

Concealed in a Touch

Tech x gn!reader (I’m trying to learn how to write this! Let me know if it’s bad or needs fixing!) 

Word Count: ~1k, ~3 pgs 

TW/Summary: reader is sorta depressed/anxious and reader’s love language is touch, and they are, as the title implies, touch starved! I guess you could call it a hurt-comfort fic? 

dividers by: @/saradika

You seemed off again. Tech wished he knew what to do. 

His mind suddenly raced backwards, dragging him back to all those moments when you comforted him with a touch on his arm or a hug or holding his hand. When it returned him to the present it suddenly it hit him. Your love language is touch. His is gift-giving and simply being there together, parallel play as it’s called in the neurodivergent world! But you needed physical contact. It wasn’t his forte, but he’d gladly do it for you, because you needed it. 

Tech snapped back into the moment and into motion. His datapad that had been in his hand was tossed haphazardly onto the workbench in front of him and with one hand he spun you towards him. Then, he used his hands on your arms and back to propel you into his chest. 

For a moment you cling to him tightly and he wished he’d realized this sooner. 

But then you startled and pulled back looking at him with concern in your eyes, “But… you don’t like touch,” you mumbled. 

“Were you going to go without something you need because you thought it bothered me?” He asked, genuinely concerned. 

“I don’t want to ask for something you don’t like. That’s not very nice. I can’t ask you to change for me, then I’m making you into something you’re not.” Your voice was barely more than a self-conscious mumble when it came out. 

“I am not changing into something that I am not, I am learning you.” He whispered and hugged tighter. “I love you.” 

He could tell you were holding back. “It is ok to need something. And it is ok to ask for it even if you are not sure if I will like it. I will always strive to find a way to make us both happy.” 

There was no holding back anymore, you burst into tears on his shoulder. He could hear her mumbling ‘thank you’ into his shoulder over and over again. Until it was replaced by sobs as you just cried. 

“I did not know you needed it this much,” his voice was muffled by your hair. 

“Neither did I. I’m sorry,” you sputtered between gasps, trying to calm down. 

“Do not be sorry. Let us find a way to make this work for both of us. Yes?” 

You nodded, still sniffling. 

“You have always liked it when I put you in my lap when I need your hands on a project, yes?” 

You shyly nodded. 

“From now on, I shall do that more often. I shall also sit in contact with you at mealtimes, and perhaps when we are simply working in the same room I can bring you into my lap then too.” 

“I wouldn’t want to get in your way!” Your nerves returned when you spoke up on this one, he noted. 

“Having you in my lap is not in my way. You are important to me.” He watched you shyly smile at the floor, his mind still whirring to find more things. “And if you need contact and I have not given it, please do not hesitate to… umm… snuggle into me, shall we say?” 

He felt you smile against his blacks and nod, but your calming patterns were still interspersed with gasping breaths. So he just held you for a while. 

He saw you dissociating again and gently, but quickly tugged you into his lap. Wrapping his arms around you to prove that he could indeed continue to work with you in his lap. As though it was he who needed you there, instead of the other way around. 

For a moment you both worked in a peaceful silence. 

You felt surges of gratefulness threatening to make you cry again, never having thought this was an option, you were so grateful for the love Tech found ways to show you. The grateful feelings wanted to spill from you again, trying to run down your cheeks. But you wanted to focus on the warmth of Tech instead. So you curled into him. 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see your legs shifting nervously, searching for something to wind around to ground you. So he took a moment to encourage you to loosen them enough to let them dangle over his knee and wrap around his own. Then, returning to work, just like he’s promised he would. 

As you calmed down, the tightness with which your legs wrapped around his loosened. 

Tech smiled, this was working out better than he expected. He had not anticipated being able to use the way in which you touched him to allow him additional insights into how you are feeling. Perhaps touch was more important to him than he realized. There was so much information concealed in a single touch from you, it made him smile.

Hunter still needed that thing fixed. Tech was usually done with small, almost menial tasks like this by now. Hunter went to find him to see how it was going. 

But what he found was not what he expected to find, but it washed all his concerns away. 

Tech was sitting in his pilots seat. Project spilling from Gonky onto the dash and still occupying space in his hands. But his lap, the usual space for projects, was otherwise occupied. Tech’s love sat curled in his lap, head on his shoulder. By the slow, methodical breaths Hunter could tell they were asleep. 

It appeared that Tech was still successfully working around his partner in his arms, content to keep them there and prove they were not in his way. 

But at the moment, Tech was clearly deep in thought, focused on the quiet sleeper. 

As Hunter watched from the shadows, Tech shifted his project to one hand and placed it atop Gonky. Slowly, doing his best not to wake them, Tech’s hands moved to the hip and hair of the loving partner curled into him, and he pressed a long kiss on their forehead. 

Maybe Hunter didn’t need that fixed right away. It could wait. Tech was working on something far more important right now anyway. 

Please don’t steal my work! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it! And NO dropping it into an AI to finish it for me! That’s stealing my work and feeding it to an AI without my consent. It is not okay to give an AI something you didn’t write yourself! 

taglist: @bambambunny @cw80831

[kneelingshadowsalome]

This is my third time in your inbox, I'm so sorry 💀💀

Can we get more insight on Konigs childhood? You mentioned abuse from his father. What exactly did he do to Konig and his mother? Why did he cut his face up? Why did his mother not leave him? Where are his parents now? Was his childhood the reason he joined the military? Will he fully open up to the reader abt it?

Ty for tolerating me 😭🙏🏾

Please. My inbox is always, always open and I love these questions! (Like... someone wants to hear my ramblings about mentally unstable, fictional men?? You are godsend, my friend 💖)

Thoughts on König's childhood:

CW/TW: emotional, verbal & physical abuse, talk of personality disorders (by someone who is not a psychologist lmao), aggravated assault/murder, self-hate

So, I wrote König as a sociopath (otherwise known as antisocial personality disorder) with borderline pd. He's also neurodivergent (prob. ADHD). Now I don't know shit about these things but I tried my best to do some research on different pds and neurodiversity and thought this potpourri might fit well in König's character profile.

Unlike psychopaths, sociopaths are made, not born. So his dad had a definite hand in creating one out of König. He thought his only son (K is an only child in my canon) was a freak because he was bigger than "normal" kids, tall and lithe and on top of everything else, behaved oddly. König was bullied at school which made him even more asocial and anxious, which in turn made his dad project his own insecurities onto König even more. He needed to imprint it on König that he's a freak by cutting him.

There was a strict routine and order in his childhood home: dinner was to be served at 6'o clock sharp, every piece of clothing had to be pedantically ironed, no tv past seven, etc. Any misstep on these rules and there would be violence, mainly verbal and emotional but at times, physical too. König's mother was never enough, nothing she did was ever enough. König for sure did everything wrong by simply existing. For a boy of his size, he learned to become surprisingly invisible at a very young age.

Sometime during his teenage years, he started to have enough. He started to rebel, learned how to walk tall and straight, started to jog and train inside his room, do 100 pushups every morning. The idea of joining the army was born during these times as well, and becoming a sniper was soon König's biggest dream.

He enjoyed when his schoolmates, even some of the teachers, began to fear him (if you cannot be loved, better be feared than ridiculed). He was the odd, silent, big freak who was only getting odder, bigger and more silent every day. People at school literally feared the day König would arrive at class with a gun.

His father started to cut him even more when he began to show signs of independence and grit. At some point König realized he could easily beat his own dad if he wanted to. At 15 he started to go to the gym, and a year after, when he saw his father yell at his mom about something utterly insignificant, he finally snapped, took a simple kitchen knife and drove it to daddy's ribs (16 times).

His mother had a tiny mental breakdown after that. She didn't want her child to get into trouble, but seeing such a violent murder was the last straw for a woman who had tried to keep the peace by playing by this crazy tyrant's rules. The reason she hadn't left was because she feared he might kill them both. (Also the breakdown was far more severe than the one reader had after the break room incident, and it def. brought back some not so fond memories)

König got the minimum penalty for the crime because he was a juvenile offender. His mother forgave her child quite soon and deemed that her husband was evil and that König did the right thing for freeing them from such a man.

Things got better after that, but his mother was forever damaged from everything that had happened. She began to blame herself for not divorcing her husband sooner, for then he would still be alive and König wouldn't have suffered so much in his hands. One of the reasons König started to wear the hood was because he didn't want to remind his mother of what had been done to him. Instead, the mask only caused her only more pain. She started to avoid her own child, even fear him, feeding into König's insecurities and anxiety even more.

When König finally joined the army at the age of 17, it was to get away from home and pursue his dreams to become a sniper. He thought it might be best for his mother, too, if he wasn't around the house to remind her what had gone down and how her only child was not only a monster, but a murderer, too.

König's childhood is so filled with trauma that he has pretty much distanced himself from it. The geographical distance helps too, and he's not keen on taking reader on a vacation to Austria, for example. But he will open up about his past if and when he sees it's safe to do so. Sadly enough, the thing that bugs him the most about it is he fears he might look weak in reader's eyes. He's been in a survival mode for so long that he doesn't quite understand that he was a child at the time, and should've received love and care.

Btw I totally got inspired by @random-thot-generator 's gospel truth on how König's first kill was his own father! Also the Conan t-shirt as his (first) mask is my canon now

[evilfrogcereal29]

Introduction + Rules + Taglist

Finally getting around to this since I'm starting to post more and more content under certain tags.

Hi! My name Is Lex/FrogCereal, I'm an 18 year old neurodivergent COD fan from California, USA, and this is my writing + art account, there WILL be nsfw themes on here so minors please be gone. My shitposting/main account is @frogcereal29. Be warned there is a mix of sfw and nsfw content reblogged on there!! TWs are added before every fic, if there's something i missed on a piece that you think should be tw-ed lmk right away. Some of my fics are completely sfw, and some are very VERY nsfw, so I always want u to know what ur getting into :)!!

I will write for/draw Nikto, Krueger, Nikodim, Yegor, Gromsko, König, as well as Pyramid head who isn't in cod but is my bbg nonetheless. My drawing skills are also very low-intermediate! I'm still learning so my anatomy/art may not be top notch quality, hope you can still enjoy!

First and foremost my rules are: MDNI. Do not request anything with incest, ageplay, feeding kink, raceplay, piss/scat, politics, or underage. I only write for GN and Fem! Reader. Do not ask me to write for characters outside of my list above, I love TF 141 and others but they just aren't my absolute favorites, so I just don't feel confident writing for them! Apologies💔 i may sometimes lightly write for characters outside my list, but thats at my discretion. Please also be respectful and kind, to both me and others who interact with my content. I'm always open to critique, especially if It comes to writing in other languages or about cultures I'm outside of (ie: russia, austria, litteraly most places outside the US..) but please be kind!! Thank you <3

!!Also I work a full-time job so this gets in the way of regularly posting, I try to get out at least 1 thing per week!!

Requests are: CLOSED (Dealing with immense writers block and feelings of being a fraud or unskilled enough in my craft, until I finish the 3 big things in my drafts, including pizza guy nikto au part 2, I'm not taking anything else sorry..)

Full taglist below the cut, as to make it easier for people to navigate my content, will be updated as I post!:

All my writing can be found under lexwrites

All of my art can be found under lexdraws

All my cosplay can be found under lexcosplays

For character specific tags, Here's a list that I'll add as I write for more characters and write more sub-catagories for them as well:

König

- for König x reader go here

Nikto

- for Nikto x reader go here

- for werewolf!Nikto AU go here

- For NiktoKrueger go here

Krueger:

- I also use the tag Sebastian Krueger but it means the same thing

- for NiktoKrueger go here

Gromsko:

- for Gromsko x reader go here

Nikodim

- for nikodim x reader go here

Yegor

Non cod characters:

Pyramid Head

Thats all, please leave a reblog and a like if you enjoy the content! it means the world!!