#tw medical analysis

[knavestrolls]

Liston After A Ship Change

There are few things worse than failing his empress. One of them is, of course, betraying her. That’s unlikely to happen but it’s thought about in whispers after they change ships. His Pet Project- his life’s work of interchangeability between similar but different species is out there. Patient 369,610 is out there. She’s bleeding lime green that will slowly be overtaken with violet if not carefully monitored. She’s speaking of the science that HE mastered. Something about it burns deeply in his soul. So he puts the severed head of the one who distracted him in a specimen jar just big enough to preserve it and leaves it on his desk. A simple reminder of what’s at stake should he ever choose to protect the Empress’ pet psychopath over his work again.

Speaking of that psychopath, she currently lies in his only cot at sick bay. This ship isn’t as grandiose as the head of the fleet they’d been on, but anything can be made into a lab with the right temperament. Unfortunately for him, Nixxie Ceanki is anything but the right temperament as she lays there having her fourth mental breakdown of the night alone. He honestly doesn’t care whether or not The Empress keeps this particular pet of hers, but he knows that funding must always come from somewhere and the higher up your backer- the better pickings you get of ignored ‘rules’. So Liston plays along. He scans her eyes for the fifth time this week.

There’s no change in her eyes. The eyeballs themselves have exploded leaving empty sockets. The only truly remarkable thing is that the sockets have not begun to collapse. It’s as if the ghost of her eyes remain, keeping the shape of the removed gore. It’s absolutely fascinating to him. He prods at the area with the blunt end of a scalpel, watching as the woman squirms in discomfort. Good. Let her squirm. It’s her fault they’re set up as they are.

“No change. Patient still feels within left orbital socket. Right orbital socket continues to be numb. Nasal cavity between appears to be afflicted-” He’s quickly cut off, adding needless chatter to his recordings.

“Could you at least turn the damn head around you creep?” Nixxie shudders.

“..Explain.”

“I can tell it’s looking at me.”

“How?”

“Does it matter? Turn the dead thing around!”

“It definitely matters. Is there some vision remaining? Describe what you are experiencing.”

“It’s not vision, fool. It’s…Spirit? There’s a strong aura attached to that…” She gestures politely, knowing there’s no good way to say what that is. “Now please. Finish what you’re doing to my face and let me go. She needs me.”

“You are of no use to her now.”

“You’ll regret those words.”

“I don’t believe I will, if you are hallucinating already. Now leave my medbay.” He waits until she leaves before Liston finds himself in front of a perfectly preserved head of a rebel red blood in a jar. “...How do you think a hundreds of sweeps old violet would take to a blood change she can’t see?”

Liston’s question is to no one in particular, but there’s an unhinged grin on his face as he picks up the specimen container. 

“Let’s hope you have enough blood to be interesting enough to tide me until I can find my beautiful neon sign.”

[insomniamademedothis]

I take it all back torchwood is batshit insane Jack saves a man from suicide but the guy immediately says I’ll do it again btw so Jack says oh ok and sits with him while he kills himself?????????????

~200 years old and never had any mental health awareness training????

[risingscorchingsuns]

okay so i have the bit where i reblog the post about genya having MALS every time mine flares up, but i realize nobody likely knows what the hell MALS is because it’s pretty rare and massively underdiagnosed. so because this is a thing that Hurts Me A Lot, and also because i genuinely do think it makes canonical sense for genya to have it, so im gonna infodump about it! obvious tw for medical shit and mentions of vascular problems. please do note I am not a professional- just a patient with too much time and having to do my own research because doctors won’t listen to me <3 I write from my own experience and very surface-level research; this is in no way an academic paper.

okay! MALS! what is it? MALS stands for Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome. The median arcuate ligament is a vascular ligament in the lower part of your chest, and MALS is a kind of chronic vascular compression condition where this ligament sits lower than it should. This puts pressure on the celiac artery, which supplies blood to the stomach, liver, and all the other organs and stuff in the lower abdomen.

The symptoms vary, but from the limited research out there as well as my own experience, the primary symptom of MALS is agonizing chronic stomach pain, which has a risk of flaring up after eating or exercise. In my own experience, it’s both, but it’s mostly food. I’ve had days where I barely eat, or eat much less because i really don’t want to have to deal with a flareup. There’s no foods that trigger it specifically as far as I know, but I’ve noticed that things with high fat or oil contents make the flareups happen faster. For example, sushi- I love tuna nigiri, but the fat in the raw tuna always leaves me in agony 😔 I’ve also had to leave the gym early sometimes, because exercise triggers it. This is less common in my experience, though.

The pain is normally manageable- it feels like a stabbing cramp in my lower abdomen, typically about a 4-5/10 on the pain scale. It sucks, but normally i just have to sit down for about 20 minutes and it passes. But the worst ones have had me completely immobilized, sometimes for hours at a time. The worst one I ever had actually had me hospitalized; I was on the floor curled up, in so much pain I could barely even breathe. It was like someone was twisting knives in my insides- I thought I was dying. I run the risk of pain like this every time I eat. Pain like that is rare for me, and I’ve never met anyone else with my condition, but if they feel pain like that more often than I do, it’s all the more reason to raise awareness for MALS.

As far as I know, there’s nothing to be done for pain management. Ibuprofen and things like that either don’t touch it, or the pain simply passes before it takes effect. Regardless, the only thing I’ve found to do is wait it out, and don’t strain myself. There is a surgical cure, an open vascular surgery to relieve the pressure on the artery. But MALS is very rare, mostly because it is massively, massively underdiagnosed. It took ten years for doctors to stop telling me I was just lactose intolerant/experiencing menstrual cramps and actually run a CT scan on me. I believe the diagnoses rate is two out of every hundred thousand patients. MALS is mistaken for all sorts of things; lactose intolerance, IBS, Crohn’s, pretty much any Tummyache Disorder can get confused for MALS. Additionally, I’ve found mentions of patients saying doctors just straight up don’t believe their pain because there’s no obvious cause. In my experience, finding treatment has been nothing short of a nightmare; because MALS is only debilitating and not technically dangerous, I’ve had countless doctors dismiss my case and tell me to just deal with it. (I could go on a whole rant about sure, yeah, just deal with a coin flip’s chance of agony if I want to sustain myself by literally eating, but whatever thank you fuck you every doctor.) Regardless, MALS is really underdiagnosed, and it’s fairly under-researched as well.

Anyway, onto Genya Shinazugawa. From a surface level, I headcanon him to have MALS because he’s my blorbo and I love projecting onto fictional characters, but if I do a bit of analysis it actually makes a lot of sense. The most obvious symptom is his demon-eating; his ‘stronger’ digestive organs could be some fictional result of MALS. Something or other less blood flow tolerates demon magic something something fantasy. The important thing is, it’s mentioned in the manga that Genya has frequent checkups at the Butterfly Mansion due to his demon eating. I can’t remember exactly where, but im pretty sure it’s mentioned that this ability is harmful to his health/causes him pain. Therefore it’s not unreasonable to assume that eating demons can trigger Genya’s MALS, just as tuna triggers mine. Additionally, it was mentioned in the anime (I believe it was a Taisho Era Secret in the Swordsmith Village arc?) that Genya often refuses food, going long periods without eating. This is a common mental side effect of MALS- a lot of patients, myself included, develop a hesitance or even fear of eating due to the likelihood of it triggering a flareup. It’s likely that Genya is doing the same thing.

Anyway!! If you have any questions, or feel that I’ve missed something, please let me know!! As per usual for me I’ve written this mostly past 3am, so it’s possible I could have my lore crossed!! Regardless id be interested to hear everyone’s thoughts on this headcanon, because it’s not one that I’ve heard before. Thanks for reading! 💜🪲

[tacticalhimbo]

YALE PSYCHIATRIC - THE TRAGIC CASE OF FATHER JOHN WARD (FAITH: THE UNHOLY TRINITY)

With the new drop of development notes into the GOODIES folder of the game, I wanted to revisit an old analysis I did way back during the era of the Chapter 2 demo.

The long story made short is this: John has an interesting psychology that is backed by the in-game letters and allusions to his hospitalization at Yale Psychiatric. That being said, it isn't really expanded upon because it's not a core element to the plot.

Which, to an extent, can be disagreed with because it is entirely possible that the events of The Unholy Trinity are told through the perspective of an unreliable narrator (John), which then means that some (if not all) events that take place are exaggerated and intensified by John's mental state.

If you ask me, I see the series of events as a blend of details. Demons exist and the cult is very much up to something, but certain things are manipulated to fit a narrative (think, the Martin twins. Amy's mother miscarried, yet John was manipulated into believing the cult had kidnapped the born children for their rituals). I might expand on that another time, but for now, here is my perspective on the characterization of John Ward, and how mental illness plays a significant role throughout the series.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a psychiatric professional. I do have a degree and spent years studying the intersection between the mental health and correctional systems, but I am not a clinician or an individual with a lot of clinical knowledge. I'm just a guy with too much time on their hands and a tendency to let the autism win (/lh /j). Also, if there are any grammar issues… I know. It was, like, 3 AM when I wrote this, and I don't care to tidy it up more than I have tried to.

With this out of the way, let's dive into it. Below the cut will be spoilers for the game and discussions regarding psychiatric abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

In-game dialog and other citations will be highlighted using small text, as I cannot for the life of me get the indent/blockquote feature to work on desktop.

As of writing this post (January 2023), there are five notes regarding John's admission to Yale Psychiatric after the failed exorcism of Amy Martin. I'm going to transcribe them in order of events, and not in the order they are found. The first note we would see examining John's case file, if he were an actual patient, would be the intake assessment form:

Yale Psychiatric Institute NEW PATIENT INTAKE FORM

Patient Name: Ward, John Thomas

Age: 33 Sex: M Ethnicity: White/Caucasian

Assigned Counselor: Spinel, James, PhD

Health Examination Results: Height: 6 feet 2 inches Weight: 185 lbs HR: 92 bpm Blood Pressure: 135/81

Current Status: Minor cuts and bruises, sprain in left ankle.

Patient is in a state of psychologic shock.

Existing Conditions:

Asthma (dormant) Diminished mobility from childhood injury to right knee.

Notice the little note there about psychologic shock. We do get elaboration on the comment made by whoever conducted the intake process, which come from Yale Psychiatric Notes 1 & 2:

Notes - new patient initial consultation

Subject: John Thomas Ward

Present: Dr. James Spinel, PhD, and two orderlies

Subject non-responsive for first half-hour, followed by fragmented 'exorcism' narrative

Subject unable to maintain consistency in story (for example, stating that Amy was in the basement and then saying she was in the attic)

Subject insists incident was the result of demonic possession

Cannot declare subject of sound mind; will require several more sessions to fully understand subject's mental state. Will advise Martin Family attorneys.

—

Subject is suffering from delusion. In John's mind, he plays the role of the hero sent by God to protect the innocent. In order to escape the consequences of his actions, he has created his own reality. In order for everything to make sense, he needs to believe in the evil spirits and paranormal occurrences. I recommend an in-vivo approach until we can get John to accept the truth.

And for the love of God, please have Ms. Martin transferred to another facility. Somehow, John knows that she is in here with him.

Then there's the newer documentation and references to In Vivo, found in the GOODIES folder of the game. See the text around bullet point 3.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: An image of development notes for Faith: The Unholy Trinity Chapter 3, which were taken in an non-lined notebook. There are several roughly drawn images of the page, consisting of level mapping for puzzles in what the developer has called, in previous notes, GaryLand. The text beside bullet point 3 reads "Mini-environments to collect keys. Re-contextualized once you grab key (lost In Vivo). Placement of plagas cultists is 'contested space'. Keys? Sigils? Body parts? Notes alluding that John was there". Beside the last note is a doodle of the eyes emoji, with two stylized eyes looking to the left toward the text. END DESCRIPTION.]

Here's the thing about psychiatric institutions: They suck.

The mental health system in modern day America is better than it was in the 80s, naturally, but not by much. It is important to note that the deinstitutionalization of the mental health system was the right call to make. However, I must note that the lack of funding and resource allocation (mostly due to greed among politicians and public perception of those with mental illness) made it so that individuals are still institutionalized. As of the modern era, individuals with mental illness are disproportionately incarcerated.

The Prison Policy Initiative has a wonderful online research library with up-to-date and reflective research on the rates and treatment of individuals incarcerated, as well as how current carceral practices only work to exacerbate these issues through intensive focus on punishment:

But traveling back in time, before the tides shifted, we have to understand what the environment was like within psychiatric wards/asylums.

The deinstitutionalization of mental health emerged in the 50s following World War II. To make a very long story short, the human rights abuses were put into the spotlight. Several factors, such as inhumane living conditions, harmful treatment practices (which we will elaborate on later), and the rising costs and demand for psychiatric treatment, all contributed to the call for deinstitutionalization. The goal was to improve the quality of life for people with mental illness, and to really just… allow them to exist as humans within society. Though the movement began in the 50s, it didn't gain much popularity among advocate groups until the 60s and 70s (e.g., the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and Project Release), where the movement truly took off.

However, large-scale closures of institutions didn't actually happen until the 80s, at least in the States. This means that, come 1986/1987, there were still institutions actively running. If you'd like to read more about how psychiatric institutions were run in this era, then I highly recommend reading Dr. David Laing Dawson's personal testimonies as a clinician during the era of asylums and advocacy:

But what were popular treatment modalities for patients like John? Firstly, and mentioned in the in-game notes, we have In Vivo Exposure Therapy, or more simply put: Exposure Therapy.

The American Psychiatric Association, in their Clinical Practice Guideline(s) for the Treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (2023), define In Vivo Exposure as:

Directly facing a feared object, situation or activity in real life. For example, someone with a fear of snakes might be instructed to handle a snake, or someone with social anxiety might be instructed to give a speech in front of an audience.

This intervention is not limited to PTSD, though, and is often used for other clinical concerns such as phobias, panic and anxiety, and (in some cases) Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The ultimate goal is to break the pattern of avoidance while confronting the fear in a safe environment. Which is great… for patients who are ready to confront these things. If there's one lesson to take away from this post, it's that treatment cannot be forced. Treatment is ineffective if the person requiring it is non-consenting or otherwise unwilling/unable to go through the modality.

So when you look at a patient like John, who is in an active state of crisis, and decide the best treatment intervention is to (effectively) tell him to "Suck it up" and induce anxiety and fear? It's disgusting and it would, in a realistic scenario, only exacerbate his symptoms even further. Which it seems to do, if the line about John having a reaction to Amy's presence in Yale Psychiatric is anything to go by. The man believes she is possessed by a demon (or knows she is), and has intense dread and anxiety around trying to save her (to the point where it's already a fixation). Exposing him to Amy's presence, or even the possibility of it, is not going to do him well until he is guided down from a crisis state and able to understand what is going on (as well as process the events that took place in the Martin home, because Amy would be a psychological trigger of recollection for said events).

John's official diagnoses are, ultimately, mild anxiety and acute coulrophobia (aka: fear of clowns). This much is clarified in the release form:

RELEASE FORM

SUBJECT: John Thomas Ward

DOR: 31 Oct 1986

This form certifies that the subject is hereby released from my care after having completed their required counseling and treatment to my satisfaction, with confidence that they are ready to resume their normal daily activities as a mentally stable member of society.

Dr. James Spinel, PhD

EXISTING CONDITION:

Mild anxiety

Acute coulrophobia

As an aside, can we just point out how John was only admitted for a month, give or take some days? Even if we take the events at face value (aka: demons are real; Hell is real; Lucifer is planning an invasion of Earth to reclaim what God has taken from him-), this feels… entirely too short to state that John is fully recovered.

At least from my interpretation of the intent behind "a mentally stable member of society", as the stigmatization of mental illness would place the burden of showing minimal, if any, signs of distress within day to day life… unless you were a hard-working husband who drank off most of his time at home while beating his wife, lest we forget the nuclear family values and toxic masculinity that still run rampant in American society. But I digress...

And immediately bring your attention to a bit of a continuity issue that, effectively, renders my last point moot: John's letter to Dr. McGlashan, who we can assume is a director of sorts within Yale Psychiatric.

This note is dated for December 30th, 1986:

Dear Dr. McGlashan,

It has been thirty days since the beginning of my treatment here at Yale Psychiatric Institute. Dr. Spinel, who has been so patient with me, has helped me understand my afflictions and has helped me fund a way to move forward and accept the truth.

With Dr. Spinel's help, I have come to accept what really happened in September at the Martin family residence. I accept that what happened was not the result of any supernatural phenomenon, but rather the desperate actions of a young girl driven to violence by her dogmatic parents and old church rituals that are thought to drive out evil.

I am happy to report that, since accepting the truth, my nightmares have ceased and I now enjoy peace of mind that I have not felt since the incident. Given my progress since first coming here, I respectfully request my release from Yale Psychiatric Institute, contingent upon follow-up appointments with Dr. Spinel in the future.

Sincerely,

John Ward

And raises several questions, such as:

If the failed exorcism took place in September, does this mean that John was within Yale Psychiatric from September to December?

Why was there a release form authorized in October 1986 by Dr. Spinel?

John states, "It has been thirty days since the beginning of my treatment […]". Does this mean that there was a second admission period between October and December?

If there was, when did that occur? Was he brought back in during the last weeks of October? In November?

My personal belief is that John was institutionalized twice. Once immediately following the failed exorcism, and once more after due to a relapse (hence the specification "[…] contingent upon follow-up appointments with Dr. Spinel in the future."). John, by this point, is aware of his mental health concerns and acknowledges that he needs more in regard to his treatment. Here, he's showing a clear capacity to establish and (hopefully) follow a community treatment regiment.

And this is where a bibically-accurate, canonical analysis, would end. A bit of insight into what happened, why it happened, and the ramifications (albeit brief). But here's the thing:

I believe there's more to John's case, since I believe in the blending of two prominent theories (everything is real versus everything is imagined). Personally, based on these notes and a few key dialogs within Chapter 3, I believe that John (in addition to the Anxiety) experiences Psychosis brought on by Paranoid Schizophrenia. In context of the game's plot, he experiences Persecutory and Grandiose Religious Delusions.

Let me explain.

There are several types of delusions, and the severity of these delusions can vary from individual to individual. More on the specifics (as well as recommended treatment modalities) can be found in this PDF.

Generally speaking, though, the types of delusions I mentioned are described as follows:

Grandiose: An individual experiences an exaggerated sense of importance, power, knowledge, or identity, that may have some type of theme.

Persecutory: An individual is fixated on the prospect of being attacked, harassed, persecuted, or conspired against.

Sounds familiar, yeah? Let's break it down:

Grandiose: Exhibited in all chapters. John is of the belief that he is a destined savior to Amy Martin. That he is the only one who can save her from the demon(s) plaguing her because he is the only one with the power and ability to do so. He, in the Super Miriam boss fight, also claims to have God's power directly within him. That he, in a way, is God (at least, in that moment).

Persecutory: Exhibited in all chapters, prominent in Chapter 3. In Chapter 1, there's "The Offering" Ending. John is (or perceives to be) stopped in the middle of the road home by Gary and his cult. Then, in Chapter 3, the entire arc around Gary's cult centers around the idea of John being persecuted (targeted by the cult for his attempts to save Amy).

But I feel like this expansion on John's psyche is supported within the canon itself, even if not explicit. Let's look more at the dialog cues from other characters.

One thing that slates me toward this conclusion is the brief mention of John's mother, Meredith. Amy's demon taunts John by asking him "What about Meredith? Did she get better?" and says how he couldn't save her. And based on the delivery of this line, it's clear that some sort of illness was what killed Meredith. Given that Schizophrenia in of itself typically doesn't cause death (though symptoms can contribute to other factors, such as poor physical health, risk-taking behaviors, higher risks of suicide), we have to look beyond the mental health aspect for a brief moment.

According to fairly recent research, there have been connections made between an individual's Schizophrenia diagnosis and their likelihood for developing Alzheimer's Disease. Kochunov et al. (2020) state:

"Schizophrenia (SZ) is a severe psychiatric illness associated with an elevated risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease (AD). Both SZ and AD have white matter abnormalities and cognitive deficits as core disease features. […] SZ and AD have diverse etiologies and clinical courses; our findings suggest that white matter deficits may represent a key intersecting point for these 2 otherwise distinct diseases. Identifying mechanisms underlying this white matter deficit pattern may yield preventative and treatment targets for cognitive deficits in both SZ and AD patients."

Now, as a personal note, I have seen and experienced what Alzheimer's can do to people and how long of a process it is. My maternal grandfather, tragically, passed due to the illness in 2020. I still cannot discuss the symptomatology and progression in full as a result of the grief, but I can direct attention to the Alzheimer's Association and their article on the stages of progression:

Returning to the psychoanalytical aspect, mental illness can be hereditary and passed down, in addition to being individually developed (through whatever means, which are often referred to as the biopsychosocial factors of development). Such is true with the case of Schizophrenia.

Additionally, there does seem to be evidence suggesting that John's perception of events is questionable. Of course, I must note here that every character in this story is an unreliable narrator. Every character has their motives in the information they share and how they share it. This is in no way, shape, or form, me saying that other characters are objectively right in their perceptions. Especially Gary.

Gary is a cult leader. Even if the cult is not as dramatized as they appear to be (e.g., they are not, in fact, kidnapping babies and sacrificing people)… he is still running a cult. He is still capable of being manipulative regardless. I can absolutely delve into the psychology and structure of cults, but this post is long enough as is.

So instead, let's look at what it is Gary says to contradict John's point of view. The primary dialog that I believe points us to a faulty perception is Gary's recollection of the Martin twins:

"Oh, John… deep down, you always knew the twins were an illusion. But you could not resist chasing after lost (hurt) souls. I suppose you wished they were real, just like the late Mrs. Martin. That is how I knew you would come to me."

The popular analysis among the fandom is that Mrs. Martin miscarried the twins, and experienced a rough patch of grief surrounding the event. Again, I have seen similar experiences in my personal life, so I can sympathize with and affirm how rough this process can be. This is why Mrs. Martin had put effort into the belief that they were still expected/born, with the room being set up for them and the crib being discarded in the Martin's basement (as well as the birthday party and clown aspect).

John knew this at the time of exorcising Amy, but his own mental break altered his perception of events and made him believe in the same narrative that Mrs. Martin presented: The twins were alive. The difference here is that John tied the twins into his perception of the game's events, and came to the conclusion that Gary (and his cult) kidnapped them for ritualistic reasons.

Likewise, a lot of Gary's dialog has key words switched out. A list of these words is as follows, with their substitutions in parentheses:

enter (abuse)

lost (hurt) souls

Vessel (Victim)

journey (despair)

Again, this could be a simple nod to Gary's capacity for manipulation as a cult leader. But that doesn't exclude it from also pointing out John's perception of the series' events. In fact, this could be John's psyche interjecting and affirming itself.

So, if John does have this diagnosis, what would a thorough treatment modality look like if they'd pinpointed it back then? If he was institutionalized a third time, after stopping the Profane Sabbath?

The answer to that is either Insulin Shock Therapy (IST)/Insulin Coma Therapy (ICT), or Chlorpromazine (a strong antipsychotic medication).

It's important to note here that IST/ICT fell out of favor in the 1960s, like most shock therapies (with the exception of electroconvulsive therapy). Jones (2000) details the history and modality of ICT, stating:

"Comas were induced on five or six mornings a week. Typically, the third dose of insulin was 10±15 units with a daily increase of 5±10 units until the patient showed severe hypoglycemia. Treatment continued until there was a satisfactory psychiatric response or until 50±60 comas had been induced. Experienced therapists let patients spend up to 15 minutes in 'deep coma' with hypotonia and absent corneal and pupillary reflexes. Clinicians noted gross variation between individuals in response to a given dose of insulin. Also, in the course of treatment a patient could show day-to-day variation in his reaction. Further there was an uncertain relationship between clinical signs and the blood glucose level. The hypoglycemia made patients extremely restless and liable to major convulsions. Comas were terminated by administration of glucose via a nasal tube or intravenously."

If any of this sounds vaguely familiar, it's because the treatment modality was highlighted in the story of John Nash, a fundamental American mathematician with Schizophrenia.

The 2001 film A Beautiful Mind showcases Nash's story, including the usage of ICT. Attached is a video clip from the film, which contains content that may be triggering/disturbing. Watching it is not vital to this analysis, as it's to illustrate the paragraph above:

Ultimately, the takeaway is this:

Mental illness plays a huge role in the game's overarching narrative, even if not considered a major plot element in of itself. The Satanic Panic was a moral panic used by fundamentalist Christians to excuse abuse within their churches, excuse the discrimination of BIPOC and queer folk, and dismiss rising concerns regarding mental health advocacy. This, alongside simply targeting youth subcultures to preserve the nuclear family imagery that arose during the previous generations.

John Ward is easily one of the most fascinating characters to exist, in my opinion, because of how his character is linked to this idea. John Ward is a beacon (for a lack of better term) for this message within the game. He exhibits mental health issues canonically (re: the official diagnoses) and can be analyzed as having a deeper, more expansive diagnosis.

Everything I have said is interpretation, and is not entirely canon in the bibically-accurate sense. This is just a topic that's been in my mind since the release of Chapter 2's demo. You can feel free to agree or disagree with literally anything I have said, and I love hearing others' interpretations as well! The theories scattered around the fandom, whether posted on the Fandom Wiki or hidden in the tags on Tumblr, are just… so good. So I wanted to help contribute in some way!

And for those that read this far... Thank you <3

[beanghostprincess]

Just thinking about the fact Sora died because of the poison she drink to save her kids, because she is gentle and kind. And her only son who the desesperate act work is as kind as her.

But the StrawHats don't know she did that, this is something he don't have the courage to tell. And they know even less that Sanji is ready to do the same.

He isn't pround of that, but he ends up discovering the poison she drink and even have the recipe of how to do it. Because the germa soldiers teached them this and others poisons.

And this little fact is like a silent threat, a thing that if the crew discovers this, would be attentive about anything he drinks until they're certainly he's not gonna do the same thing his mother did.

And when the StrawHats learn about this fact, the exactly thing he expected happens, he notice Chopper and Robin always near the kitchen with the excuse of how's there was calmer, Nami and Usopp start to do his drinks for him or always are looking him while he's doing it, the others does things too. And Sanji notices all of this.

It's needed months to calm the crew, but still after they stop, all of them always have this fear in the back of they're minds (Luffy even goes as far as asking Law to do a check up on Sanji the next time they meet), that he will do this, but they want to believe he will not. They really want to.

(Just a thought that come to my mind yesterday, and I wanted to share, y'know? Based on some headcanons)

Oh, damn. This honestly hits close to home and it's really interesting so I wanna talk about it. But, you know, it's a serious topic so:

TW // Suicide, poison, self-harm, depression, etc etc you know the drill about Sanji and his issues. I don't go deep, tho, so It's not THAT explicit but could be triggering.

I think that after WCI and Wano, they'd all be worried. Sanji has always been pretty self-sacrificing with everyone and he doesn't value his life in the slightest. He doesn't show signs at first of being actively suicidal but the way he treats his own life makes it clear that he gets into self-sabotaging situations to the point of it being considered self-harm or even passive suicidal behavior. He just- Doesn't care about dying because he puts others first all the time. He has been doing that forever and Skypiea is just one of the times he does that. But, y'know, they never notice that. At least not everyone. I think Zoro is the first to know because of Thriller Bark, honestly. That's one of the biggest signs imo. But then they're separated and it's not like they can talk about it. Then two years happen and uh, shit goes downhill after that because WCI is just utterly traumatizing for Sanji and Wano makes everything worse to the point of asking Zoro to kill him if he loses himself. And we always say that's really gay (because it is) but we ignore the whole point of Sanji genuinely asking somebody to kill him without any fucking hesitation. And he spends all of Wano having the biggest crisis of his life wondering if he's human enough or worthy of being in the crew and???? What the actual fuck. Anyway, I think the crew ends up finding out about everything and I don't believe Sanji is well mentally after all of this. I know they don't write it like this because things are happening and they have to go to Egghead, but I think Sanji would end up really fucked up after WCI and Wano to the point of being worrisome.

If they do find out about the poison thing and Sanj's suicidal thoughts (honestly, I don't know how they would even find out about it unless Reiju tells them or Sanji snaps and yells about that, but, y'know. The point is that they know and Sanji is getting worse) I think you're completely right and they'd be all over him. Because that's exactly what happens when somebody acts this way. They look after him to a suffocating extent and watch his steps. They take turns to watch him. They prepare his drinks. They even make up something so he doesn't have to be on night watch so he can sleep, because he's probably not sleeping either. Or eating well, for that matter, which is what makes them all worry even more in the first place.

And hear me out, because I think he would try to do it. Like- Commit, I mean. Not gonna get into the topic too deep but I think he'd try and I think it wouldn't work because somebody would help him right away and I think he'd try to play it off as a mistake and a misunderstanding, but everyone would know. And he'd just try to ignore their pep talks and interventions.

This is projecting from personal experience and everyone goes through these things differently, but God, I think he'd fucking hate it if they looked after him. Because he knows he won't do it again. At least he doesn't want to do it again. But everybody keeps looking after him like he's about to break at any moment and it's so damn annoying to not have any type of privacy because they think he's gonna off himself the second he's alone. And he gets why they're doing it and appreciates their efforts to look after him, but acting this way is not the answer to his problems. It's just asphyxiating and it isn't helping him get better. You know how the crew is, they're NOT subtle and careful with anything and they're just-- They have good intentions but it's suffocating and he can't handle it anymore.

And I think he'd snap. I actually want to write a fic about this if you let me use your idea (I will credit you, ofc) because I think it'd be great to make him snap at Nami, specifically, and then regret it completely.

Long story short because this is getting long: I think Brook and Robin would end up talking things out with him because they're the ones who understand him the most in this situation. He'd apologize to Nami but also everyone else would apologize too for acting this way, they were just worried and wanted to look after him. I think, after this, the only ones watching Sanji would be Brook and Robin and they'd do it carefully, supporting him and helping him get better. And the whole crew would be next to him along the way but doing it with less assertiveness and just gentler.

I think the concept of Sanji thinking about death so often is great because it adds depth to his character and it's not a crazy thought. I think it's pretty damn canon, actually. At least him being careless about his own life.

[jinxed-sinner]

Analyzing Niffty Receiving A Lobotomy Because This Is Actually A Lot More Interesting Than People Realize

Alright so I've seen a lot of people theorize that Niffty suffered a lobotomy before she died and I'm here to add onto it because this is actually really interesting to analyze, to the point I hope Niffty canonically had a lobotomy because it just makes everything about Niffty make a hell of a lot more sense.

First of all, some trigger warnings.

Obviously, we're talking about lobotomies. If medical malpractice and abuse bother you, I would not recommend reading this post. Additionally, Rosemary Kennedy is used as an example of the effects lobotomies have; if you don't know Rosemary's story, it's frankly horrific and the details of her lobotomy is not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution.

Now let's do some analysis. (putting the rest of this under a read more cut because lobotomies are absolutely horrific)

First of all, what is a lobotomy?

A lobotomy is a medical procedure that was introduced in the United States in 1935. It involves severing connections in the prefrontal cortex, usually by drilling a hole in the skull (although a technique that involved going underneath the eyelid, known as a transorbital lobotomy, was introduced in 1946). Multiple techniques existed. Lobotomies were used to treat violent tendencies, psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations, and depression, among other things.

When lobotomies weren't fatal (and it's worth noting that in the 1940s, the mortality rate of a lobotomy was 5%; the average mortality rate* for modern brain tumor removal is approximately 2.3% for comparison), a person who received one usually had their emotions and cognitive and intellectual abilities stunted to that of a young child.

*Average because it depends on the type of tumor you're having removed, as well as how bad the tumor is

Rosemary Kennedy

The most well-known lobotomy victim is probably Rosemary Kennedy, who experienced seizures and violent mood swings. She received a lobotomy at the age of 23 in 1941 in response to these problems, which left her unable to take care of herself, and permanently at the mental capacity of a 2-year-old. Her lobotomy is described as follows:

After Rosemary was mildly sedated, "We went through the top of the head," Dr. Watts recalled. "I think she was awake. She had a mild tranquilizer. I made a surgical incision in the brain through the skull. It was near the front. It was on both sides. We just made a small incision, no more than an inch." The instrument Dr. Watts used looked like a butter knife. He swung it up and down to cut brain tissue. "We put an instrument inside", he said. As Dr. Watts cut, Dr. Freeman asked Rosemary, for example, to recite the Lord's Prayer or sing "God Bless America" or count backwards;... "We tried to estimate thus, how far to further cut, based on how Rosemary responded." When she began incoherent, they ceased cutting.

I want to point out that even in modern neurosurgery, keeping someone conscious during the surgery isn't uncommon. The brain doesn't have pain receptors, and therefore you don't feel pain on your brain. Keeping someone conscious, as suggested above, is an important part of making sure you're making the right incisions and not cutting into something you shouldn't.

What happened to Rosemary Kennedy is disgusting. I need to emphasize that. I'm not bringing up Rosemary Kennedy in my Hazbin analysis post just because; I'm bringing her up because she's the most notable case of what can happen when you survive a lobotomy (in my mind at least), and I think if you're going to discuss the theory that Niffty was lobotomized in depth, it's important to know what you're talking about.

Now let's discuss Niffty's behaviors.

Niffty

In my opinion, Niffty's most clear trait is her violent tendencies. Additionally, a lot her behavior is reminiscent of OCD. Niffty's behavior is also very childlike, which brings me to an interesting conclusion: as a demon, Niffty's personality and behavior are a combination of her pre-lobotomy self and her post-lobotomy self (violent tendencies and OCD that led to her lobotomy combined with the post-lobotomy personality of being more child-like and socially unaware). In addition to both of these, when I see her design I think of a transorbital lobotomy gone wrong.

Like her behavior feels like someone who got a lobotomy but eventually gained a form where they weren't as affected by that lobotomy. It's really interesting to me and it makes me kinda sad that I haven't seen anyone really analyze the theory that Niffty was a lobotomy victim beyond just "Niffty got a lobotomy when she was alive" because it just explains too much for that to not be the intention. Like I don't think it's a coincidence that she died when lobotomies were happening left and right and her personality fits a combination of pre- and post-lobotomy personalities.

Makes me excited to learn more about her honestly.

[my-neurodivergent-education]

"...In a number of cases, conventional autism research describes ways in which autistic people outperform nonautistic people in scientific tasks yet interpret those achievements as somehow revealing a problem. That is, data that in fact reveal strengths in autistic people are paradoxically - and bizarrely - interpreted in a negative way, as a consequence of a 'deficit' or 'impairment' (Dawson & Mottron, 2011; Dinishak, 2016; Gernsbacher, Dawson, & Mottron, 2006; Robertson, 2010).... ...This tendency to interpret autistic performance negatively is seen further in the research literature on autistic intelligence, which demonstrates that it is often the research design itself that is the cause of the issue... ...Such negative interpretations and the research design that reinforces them have consequences beyond research itself. Autistic scientist, Michelle Dawson, has long argued that the habit of casting autistic people as 'less than' has resulted in autistic people being subjected to medical and other interventions that are not as fully supported by evidence as they should be. This is particularly the case with one dominant intervention, Applied Behavioural Analysis (Dawson, 2004). Even as recently as 2019, autistic people have been subjected to 'aversive' treatments in behavioural intervention research (Verriden & Roscoe, 2019), including electric shock as punishment at the highly controversial Judge Rotenberg Educational Center of Canton Massachusetts, which is still open for business despite having been condemned for torture by the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Torture (Neumeier & Brown, 2020). The persistent focus on deficits serves to support these dehumansing attitudes; seeing autistic people as 'less than human' (Goffman, 1990; see also Cage, di Monaco, & Newell, 2019) legitimises the use of electric shock in this instance."

-- Pellicano, E. and den Houting, J. (2022), Annual Research Review: Shifting from ‘normal science’ to neurodiversity in autism science. J Child Psychol Psychiatr, 63: 381-396. https://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.13534

[nomsfaultau]

This one's just for me y'all imma be real

This is a pointless character analysis essay of chapter 33 of Fault bc I realized I had a lot of thoughts that would be difficult to fully explore via the limited pov of the characters. Because frankly Tubbo lacks the emotional maturity to take a step back and see the fullness of the picture, especially as it’s their warped mental health that I wish to examine. 

The angle I’ll be exploring is this: Tubbo neglects their injuries as an act of punitive self-harm born from guilt. 

Cw: physical/emotional self-harm via neglect, examination of guilt, ableist logic, religious mention. Pure angst bby. 

A few important details so this isn’t 100% incomprehensible:

Tubbo is a staunch pacifist.

Tubbo technically murdered an OC named Rosalind by adding her to their hive mind.

Tubbo lost their legs thanks to The Blade and is in massive amounts of pain that they cope with by ignoring it. 

Tubbo is a flawed character and obviously has a lot of incorrect ideas that should not be conflated with the author’s. I'd particularly like to stress this on the 'disability as punishment' angle, as significant time will be spent dismantling that but not within this essay as this is strictly an identification of Tubbos' flawed mindset and not a discussion on fixing it.

The basis for chapter 33 is essentially a microcosm of Tubbos’ increasingly maladaptive responses to pain. Chiefly, repressing pain and verbally lashing out at Philza with arguable justification, culminating in contemplating destroying their hand (forcing Rhodes to stop them) before the group realizes their broken legs have healed incorrectly in an irreversible fashion. When writing, the original question was ‘why is Tubbo acting like this?’ with a succinct answer of ‘pain’. But when reviewing it I came to another question: why did Tubbo choose to cope with the pain by ignoring it? The original answer was in their history of dissociation and fear of being weak around dangerous people. But I think that’s only the part Tubbo is aware of because on re-examination I found it ran far deeper. 

It all comes back to guilt. Surprise surprise a fic named Fault deals heavily with guilt. Essentially, Tubbo subconsciously views their legs being ripped apart as justice for Tubbo ripping Rosalind apart. The pain then is deserved. They choose to accept the pain and try to push past it even as it grows worse due to neglect. This results in Tubbo not taking the proper steps to heal, creating extreme medical complications. 

A large contributing factor comes from the backgrounds of hive members in Tubbos’ system. Rhodes, a lawyer, acted for decades as the hand of the punitive system, which emphasizes punishment as the correct treatment to deter future crimes. And then with Rosalind’s Catholic upbringing (which is mostly implied, but that’s my authorial intent), there’s that good old religious guilt, particularly with the concept of misfortune being a divine retribution for sin. Combined, The Blade disabling Tubbo becomes an act of (the blood) god to punish Tubbo for their crime, which they must accept in order to ensure they don’t ever do it again. To properly take care of themselves would get in the way of their deserved damnation. 

Which…obviously big yikes on many levels that hopefully I don't need to explain.

In the sense of a DID system which the hive mind resembles (in certain aspects), Tubbo takes on the role of the persecutor as a way to punish themselves for (arguably) murdering someone. They blame their self-loathing on Rosalind because on some level they recognize it to be a bad thing, but regard it as deserved if it’s from her, further fueling their guilt and justification of their self-harm. In actuality, their ‘penance’ is actively hurting the victim as well as themselves.

Additionally, commenter MossyWizard brought up dsmp!Tubbo’s self dehumanization. And I think there could very easily be a reading for that here. Fault!Tubbo has a problem of dehumanizing people. This can be partly attributed to the Foundation training that Rosalind had. Tubbo doesn’t have generalized dehumanization of anomalies, since they are one and that would include people they like (ie Tommy). Instead, it combines with their sense of morality and results in them dehumanizing people they deem ‘evil’ such as Philza or The Blade. Part of chapter 33 deals heavily with Tubbo refusing to acknowledge Philza’s personhood under the claim that he doesn’t experience empathy (abundantly untrue, and also empathy is not the marker of someone’s humanity nor their capacity for kindness). 

An excerpt that I believe highlights a compounding issue in Tubbos’ philosophies: [“You’re filled with a lot of anger, Tubbo,” [Philza] said quietly. / “No. We’re not angry; we’re a nice person.” / …“Please don’t misunderstand me, I do not condemn anger.” / “Maybe you should.”]

Tubbo shies away from emotions deemed negative (anger, fear), twisting them into something they view as positive (righteousness). It’s possible Tubbo is terrified of acknowledging their anger because they heavily associate anger with Phil, given he’s a god of wrath. The logic line is thus 1. bad emotions = bad person and 2. bad person = not a person. Tubbo is then terrified of being a bad person while having to exist under their current morality framework. 

Notably, Guilt is exempt from being deemed as a ‘bad’ emotion due to it being an aspect of empathy, which falls in line with Tubbos’ concept of empathy being a component of humanity. Tubbo (incorrectly) assumes that Philza and The Blade do not feel guilt, and so feeding their guilt becomes almost proof of them being good and thus still a person. 

In conclusion, Tubbo has a lot to unpack before they can begin to heal. Motto of Fault really. Tldr; Tubbo neglects their health due to perceiving their injuries as deserved and wallows in guilt as a desperate response to maintain their perceived status as a good person (and thus a person at all). This gels rather nicely with Tommy’s perception of punishment, and it is this foil that will eventually pull Tubbo out of their spiral and have a healthier relationship with guilt, beginning their shift away from punitive to restorative justice. Thus concludes my TED talk. As you can tell the autism won today.

[cienie-isengardu]

The Funeral Rites of the Clone Troopers - What happens to the body of dead clone, part II

<The psychological and spiritual preparations for death pre-war>☾❖☽  <What happens to the body of dead clone trooper [part 1] [part2] ☾❖☽ <Conclusion>

NOTE: Please keep in mind that the following text may include disturbing to some readers source material. Especially quotes about how triage points works with selection of which wounded have a chance to survive and who doesn’t and the general medical care (or lack of therefor) provided by Republic is a sensitive topic. Everything comes from published sources so I count it as “canon typical violence” but I also understand that some people may find the subject of this part uncomfortable and if so, I advise to skip reading quotes (marked in orange color)  

What happens to the body of a dead clone? PART II 

The previously presented sources focused mainly on troopers killed directly in widely understood action, when the survivors had time and possibility to perform funeral rites. However clones didn’t die only on battlefronts or during quick missions. Some were injured and died at one of medical triage points, Republic Mobile Surgical Units (for short RMSUs or "Rimsoos“), medical ships and Medcentres or died on the way to one of those places.

TRIAGE POINTS were a very important part of the Republic medical procedures. Here the wounded were segregated according to the person’s type of injuries and chance of survival by medical staff. Sadly, getting wounded men to established triage area didn’t guarantee survival, as was mentioned in:

[NOVEL] MedStar: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves & Steve Perry

This run was a bad one. There were four full lifters, which meant sixteen wounded troopers. Three had died en route, and one was too far gone to attempt resuscitation - one of the nurses administered euthanasia while Jos, Zan, Barriss, and three other surgeons scrubbed up.

    One of the clones was covered with third-degree burns; they had to cut his armor free. He had literally been cooked by a flame projector. Fortunately, one of the three working bacta tanks they had was empty, and the trooper was quickly immersed in a nutrient bath.

    The condition of the remaining eleven ranged from critical to guarded, and were triaged accordingly. [Chapter 6]

or 

The multiple-repulsor drone of incoming medlifters filtered into Barriss's sleep, and the siren that sounded almost immediately afterward meant that everybody within earshot needed to get to the OT. Now.

    She dressed hurriedly and headed for the triage area. It was only twenty meters from her cubicle, but the humidity was so high today, she felt that she was wading through a pool of heated fleek oil.

    When she got to the building, she stopped, momentarily unable to believe her eyes. Thirty-five or forty wounded troopers lay on stretchers, on gurneys, on the floor itself, being tended by doctors, nurses, droids, techs - anybody, in short, who could help. Most of the troops were bloody, and many were burned, with weeping red blisters and scorched black patches. Some were missing arms and legs.

    Some were all of those things, and more.

    Still more injured were incoming. She could barely hear the whine of the lifters' repulsor fields over the cries and groans of the wounded. Barriss swallowed, nauseated. Even doctors could be overwhelmed by too much gore. Nothing she had ever seen in her wartime experience so far had been anything close to this.

    Tolk was calling triage, and it was short and to the point. Barriss watched her for a moment. To anybody outside the medical field and the battlefield, triage would seem remarkably cruel, but she knew it was the most efficient way to save the most patients.

    "This one won't make it," Tolk said, rising from the side of a sergeant whose legs had been blown off above the knees. His skin was chalk white, and from the red, ragged stumps the last of his life's blood was dripping slowly. Following behind Tolk was a droid, which attached a pulse-sticker to the dying clone's shoulder. A large, red x glowed rhythmically.

    Tolk moved quickly to the next patient, examined him briefly. "Shrapnel wounds to the belly and groin. Surgery, category three."

    The droid put a sticker on the man's shoulder. The number 3 throbbed on it.

    Barriss bent to examine the trooper closest to her - a lieutenant. He was awake and alert; his only injury seemed to be that his left arm was gone, blown off in a ragged stump just above the elbow. A constrictor around the stump had stopped the bleeding. His gaze met hers.

    "I'm good," he said through clenched teeth. "Take care of my men."

    "He can wait," Barriss said to Tolk. "Five."

    Tolk nodded at the droid, who affixed a number 5 pulse-sticker to the man's good shoulder.

When there were fewer doctors than patients, one had to rank the injured as to survivability and the time necessary to keep them alive. Rimsoo category numbers ran from 1 through 6; category X was reserved for injuries that appeared mortal or very time-consuming to treat. The rating system was more complex than it appeared. The injury, survival chances, and need for immediate treatment all had to be taken into account. A severed artery might bleed out in a minute and all it would take to save the patient would be a simple staple or suture tie, so it would be best to treat him first, whereas a man with his leg blown off but heat-cauterized from a blaster bolt could be left until more life-threatening injuries had been dealt with. Making these decisions, the Padawan knew, was often as much intuition as science.

    A 6 meant a patient might survive if treated, but indicated treatment could consume a lot of time and effort, and there were no guarantees he would make it. But 6 could also mean that the injury was not likely to be fatal if not treated right away. Either way, a 6 waited. A 5 meant survival chances were higher and treatment less time-intensive, and so on down the count. The triage caller had to use experience to make the decisions, and thus had to be knowledgeable in treating the kinds of injuries coming in. A droid stepped up to Barriss. "I am to assist you, Padawan," it said. In one hand it held a pad of pulse-stickers.

    Barriss nodded, turned to the next stretcher, and gasped. Before her was a terrible sight: a trooper with all four limbs burned down to stumps, and nothing but red, suppurating tissue where his face had been. On Coruscant, or Corellia, or any of the other hundreds of civilized worlds, technology could attach cybernetic limbs and reconstruct his face-he would be a strange hybrid of machine and man, but at least he would be alive and relatively functional. But here on Drongar, they had no facilities even remotely capable of such things. She bit her lip and turned to the droid assigned to her. "Category X," she said.

    The droid applied the sticker, then looked at her. "A purgation of fire," it said. Barriss thought it was an odd comment for a droid to make, but she had no time to wonder about it. The wounded were being brought in so fast that she had to keep moving or be overrun.

    She had damped down on her connection to the Force as much as she could; extrasensory experience of this much agony at this close range carried a real possibility of synaptic overload. Even closed down as she was, she could still feel the pain, the fear, the horror of it all pounding and scrabbling at her mind. She swallowed dryly and kept moving. There were some here she knew she could heal with the Jedi arts she had learned, but it would take too long. Not even the Force could mitigate the cold and brutal equations of triage.

    Ahead of her, Tolk continued moving through the maze of dead and dying, followed by her droid, desig-nating who would live and who would almost certainly die. The fact that they were clones, all identical in ap-pearance, in no way lessened the horror; in fact, in a strange way it increased it-at least that was so for Bar-riss. Seeing the same body wounded and traumatized in a thousand different ways gave the whole scene a sur-real aspect, as if it had no beginning and no end, a per-petual loop of pain and death.

    She knew she had to focus, had to utilize the resources at hand wisely.

    Tolk moved to the next patient, slipped in a patch of blood, recovered her balance. She veered toward Barriss, who was looking at another wounded trooper. The Jedi shook her head.

    Another x, its red glow waxing and waning like the flow of lives all about them, was applied by the droid.

    They were dying like wingstingers hitting a zap field, and nothing Jos did seemed to matter. A repaired artery held without leaking, but the patient was too far into shock to come back, even with his blood volume pumped to the max. Another patient, without a mark on him, was smiling one second and dead the next. A scanner showed that a sliver of metal, thinner than a needle, had pierced the corner of his eye and gone deep into his brain.

    Despite the floor-level pressor fields, those working in the OT were at times up to their ankles in blood, urine, feces, lymph and spinal fluid. The air coolers and dehumidifiers were still not working, and the stench, combined with oppressive wet heat, overwhelmed the scents of antiseptics and astringents. The surgeons cut and re-sected and transplanted with practiced efficiency, their nurses and what few droids they had at their sides, and yet the patients still didn't make it. Commands, both shouted and whispered, filled the reeking air: "-need twenty cc's coagulin, stat-"

    "-rotate the bacta tanks, no one gets more than ten minutes-"

    "-keep that field going, even if you have to hand-crank it-"

    After two hours' work Jos was five for five-none of them had lived. He was beginning to reel with exhaustion - it was taking nearly all he had just to keep his hands steady. [Chapter 13]

[NOVEL] Jedi Trial by David Sherman and Dan Cragg

But before they could get out of the aid station, casualties from the ongoing assault started coming in and all the pair could do was step aside and wait for the flow of injured to stop. It didn't, and what they saw on the litters bearing the wounded was horrible. [...]

The surgeons established a triage. One had the job of examining each litter case as it came in and, depending on whether he thought the victim could be saved or not, determining where to put the soldier; these decisions were made in a matter of seconds. The unsaved far outnumbered the saved.

The worst were the burn cases, clones stripped of their armor, so badly incinerated that their limbs had been reduced to charred sticks, their faces to blackened skulls, uniform fragments fused to their flesh. Yet somehow they lived. None of these were put into the saved category. Others lay in pools of their own blood, limbs missing, internal organs exposed. Still others had obviously died before they were brought to the field hospital. They lay still on their litters, bodies bouncing as the litter bearers jounced them along. Over all was a dreadful silence; hardly any of the wounded screamed or moaned - they were all in shock, an orderly informed Erk as he brushed by.

[NOVEL] Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth by Karen Miller

Threading a path between hurrying medics and clone troopers and scattered bits of Grievous's destroyed army, Anakin let the Force guide him to where he needed to be.

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka sat side-by-side on crates in a hastily setup triage area, just outside an entrance into the spynet building. [...]

Ahsoka's pain-pinched face lit up. "Master! You're all right!"

"Of course I am, Padawan," he said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

His bored tone was designed to reassure her, but it wasn't working, as the answer to his flip question was lying all around them: triaged clone troopers, most stoically silent, waiting for the next medevac flight to arrive. Beyond them, decently shrouded, lay the bodies of those men who hadn't been so fortunate. And then, of course, there were the men who'd died going up against Grievous and his droid starfighters.

The examples fit well with the source material mentioned in the previous part. Thus we can assume that clones who died at triage points suited straight on or really close to battlefront will join the bodies of troopers directly killed in fight and be buried when the remaining GAR will have time and opportunity to do so. Sadly there is no explanation how the Republic procedures work, especially since the battle of Kothlis (TCW: Gambit - Stealth) was fought in the middle of the city and the advanced(?) urban space is not exactly the most suited place to bury anyone.

Medstar: Battle Surgeons and its sequel, Medstar: Jedi Healer (both written by the same authors) provides additional information about what happens to the dead bodies of clone troopers. For one, the sequel mentioned that Rimsoo has morgue to where droids headed with patients that died during operation:

Jos glanced at Uli, and then at Tolk, who said, "Uli seems to be doing okay. The orderly droids just wheeled his first patient out and they weren't heading toward the morgue. He's a cute kid." Tos shook his head. "Yeah. Cute." 

Logically thinking, the Republic Mobile Surgical Units had an intended place to keep corpses for a certain period of time but the space wasn’t boundless and its contents had to be emptied at some point. Especially when the hospital was overrun with patients that couldn’t be saved - and as sources mentioned, there were days when “the unsaved far outnumbered the saved”.

Morgues in general are a good place to store bodies that were meant to be identified, examined or claimed by authority or family. Star Wars’s advanced technology allows to preserve and transport the remains of people in a very good conditions and from the various sources it seems Republic provided such courtesy, either for 

political reasons like for example returning the body of Tofen Vane [The Clone Wars: Hero of the Confederacy, part 3]

practical, like during investigation the massacre on the planet of Devaron, in which Delta Squad brought back the bodies of killed there Jedi

Mysterious deaths! Unknown to the Jedi, a new threat has unleashed on the galaxy: Savage Opress, a pawn in the dangerous game between Count Dooku and his former assassin, Ventress. The victims of his brutal massacre on the planet of Devaron are being returned to the Jedi Temple for evaluation. It's up to the Jedi Council to find this mysterious killer, and eradicate him.... - the opening of The Clone Wars, s03e14: Witches of the Mist

or due to moral (sentimental) duty, like collecting and returning bodies of killed in action Jedi on Geonosis

Weary and heart-sore, Yoda stood in silence with his fellow Master and friend Mace Windu, watching as efficient clone troopers swiftly, methodically, and not unkindly loaded the last of the slain Jedi onto repulsorlift pallets, then pushed them one-handed out of Poggle the Lesser's brutal arena to the Republic transport ships waiting beyond its high walls. They were supervised by those few Jedi who had survived the slaughter and the military engagement that followed it...and who were not as serenely detached as Temple philosophy might dictate. [...]

He watched as Talia Moonseeker withdrew to a discreet distance, so the body of her slain former Master might be decently carried from the arena by the tireless clones who had fought this day, and died this day, so utterly single-minded and fearless that he thought of droids, not men-droids of flesh and blood, bred and drilled to be perfectly disciplined, perfectly lethal. [The Clone Wars: Wild Space by Karen Miller]

or Obi-Wan’s wish to give a proper burial to supposedly dead Asajj Ventress [Star Wars Obsession #5].

Take her to Coruscant for a proper funeral. Her whole life has been lived on battlefield. She shouldn't be buried on one too...

Even the Medstar sequel points out that personal items of the killed surgeon, Zan Yant, were sent back to his family.

When Zan had died, it had fallen to Jos to clean out his friend's belongings. He had packed up most of the stuff-the quetarra, clothes, book readers, and the like - and had it shipped to Zan's family, back on Talus. But hidden away under Zan's cot had been something he hadn't included in the personal effects package: Zan's supply of processed bota.

The difference between mentioned examples and the situation of clone troopers is that clones did not have any “legal” family to which their bodies could be returned to. They had brothers but their comrades at arms weren’t considered the citizens of the Republic, thus did not have any real civil rights to actually exert any pressure in regard to how clone remains were treated. 

This leads us to another information provided by Medstar duology - in medical places, organs of deceased clones could be transplanted into another injured soldier, as was mentioned by:

Star Wars: The Essential Guide to Warfare Author’s Cut, Part 7 — The Grand Army of the Republic (III) by Jason Fry (published on starwars.com in 2014)

“Replacement organs and body parts, either made of cloned tissue or taken from dead clones, were close at hand in nutrient tanks. (The surgical ward where dead clones “donated” usable organs for the tanks had the macabre nickname of the discard pile.)

After surgery, soldiers would be taken to a recovery ward or, for more severe cases, a bacta tank. Those who needed more than a few days to recover were transferred to a MedStar– or Pelta-class medical frigate, and often brought to one of the Republic medical stations. Aboard these spoked space stations, medics cared for tens of thousands of soldiers at a time, working diligently to repair bodies and minds so units could return to the battlefield.

and

Medstar: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves and Steve Perry:

She stepped closer. The naked body lay on the table, intubated and dotted with sensor lines and drips. He did not appear wounded or injured, but the skin was a mottled purplish color - it looked like one gigantic bruise.

"He's been hit with a disruptor field," Zan said. "Bioscan shows his central nervous system's been fried. I thought we could do something, but he's past that. Autonomic functions are stable on life sustain right now, but they won't last. And even if we could reestablish consciousness, he'd be nothing but meat."

"What can be done?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. We can harvest his organs, use 'em to patch up the next one who needs a kidney or a heart." He started to gesture to the droid, but Barriss stopped him.

and

At GB7 he was directed to a tiny 4.5-square-meter billet, barely large enough for the bunk-and-locker combination that constituted CT-914's home away from-actually, Jos realized, it was just his home. Unless one counted the vat from which the clone had been decanted in Tipoca City on the waterworld Kamino, CT-914 had no place else he could call his own.

The bed had been made to military precision, the blankets as smooth as the surface of a neutron star. The locker was ajar, and closer inspection proved it to be empty.

What was puzzling, however, was the spot over the head of the bed, where the trooper's designation should have been. Instead of reading ct-914, the frame was empty.

Jos spied a Dressellian corporal nearby and hailed him. The Dressellian, surly like most of his species, saluted somewhat resentfully upon recognizing a superior officer. Jos asked him where Nine-one-four was.

"In the recycling vats, most likely," was the shocking reply. "Along with most of his platoon. They were ambushed by a Separatist guerrilla attack two days ago."

The Dressellian waited a moment, then, seeing that the human captain was not likely to be asking any more questions immediately, saluted again and continued about his business.

Jos slowly left the garrison, stunned. In the last hour or so he had come to think of Nine-one-four as exem-plifying all of his newfound knowledge of the clones' essential humanity, and to suddenly learn that he was dead was almost as big a shock as hearing of the death of an old friend or a loved one. He had felt compelled to seek the clone out and apologize to him, hoping that, somehow, such an expiation would simplify some of the challenges of an awareness that now included respect toward more than organic life alone. But instead he'd found that CT-914 had joined his vat-brother, CT-915, in death. And Jos knew that it would be a long time, if ever, before their deaths, and all the others perpetrated by this war, would seem to be anything but senseless and despicable.

None of the presented sources provided a clear answer what happens with bodies of the dead, especially after taking out the needed organs. Who buried them and where? Or were the bodies cremated as a way of fast utilizing? The Rimsoss operated close to frontlines - close enough to save the wounded as fast as possible, not close enough to be in the middle of battle (though Separatists liked to target those mobile hospitals) so in theory, they could have cemetery of sort and for safety of other patience, the dead couldn’t stay forever in morgues or just lay around and take space intended for wounded. Sadly, the Republic procedures for such a scenario weren't explained in much detail.

There is however an interesting potential for “religious” aspect and/or psychological comfort in the transplantation of organs that keeps seriously wounded soldiers alive. A clone carrying a part of their fallen brother, in a metaphysical and literal sense, could be seen as “keeping the dead one alive” too albeit sadly, this subject is barely touched on as far as my research showed.

The above source material was focused on frontline reality of triage points and Rimsoos which provided the first medical aid for wounded. The injured clones were also transported to more advanced medical stations and here the situation of burials may complicate. For one, some hospitals were stationed on the surface of the planets (e.g. New Holstice) while others were literal space stations.

[Source: TCW:S01E03 - Shadow of Malevolence)

In the case of the latter, there is no access to solid ground to perform skeleton burial that seems to be preferred by GAR frontline procedures. This is of course just speculation on my part, but I do think that cremating bodies in space medcenters could be a real possibility if we take into account the limited space and lack of resources. Interestingly, shorty after Clone Wars there was at least one crematorium on Coruscant, as was mentioned in comics Darth Vader and the Ghost Prison:

A few weeks after the end of the Clone Wars, I attended a military council on Imperial Center. Between meaningless meetings and briefings, I wandered outside to escape the drone of Moffs. And saw that. The Imperial Crematorium. Each transport carries twenty dead imperials. In the time we’ve been here, nearly one hundred officers and troopers have been reduced to ash. 

Though the source is about Imperial times, the crematorium could exist much earlier and frankly, in the few weeks after the end of the Clone Wars, clones were still the majority of soldiers serving the Empire. Which suggests that some dead clone troopers presumbly killed in action were sent to crematorium instead of buried in the ground. 

Additionally, some medcenters were run by Kaminoan doctors and scientists and Kaminoans in general considered clones to be just property. Which is why cremating - as the more pragmatic and relatively easy way to “get rid of unwanted remains” - fits the Kaminoan mindset about clones in my opinion. 

Another thing to consider about medical stations run by Kaminoans is how other people have a little control over what is happening there. For one, the safety of medcenters were an important matter for the Republic, thus the applicable precautions such as limited access to communication with the outside world, as was pointed out in the book The Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth by Karen Miller:

With her fractured ribs swiftly and neatly healed and her other scrapes and burns and bruises consigned to memory-the Kaminoans even fixed the slight defect in her central montral, which was good of them, she grudgingly allowed - she was free to wander the unrestricted areas of the uncomfortably white and high-ceilinged medcenter, or keep up with her lightsaber drills along any handily empty circular corridor she could find.

What she wasn't allowed to do was contact Anakin with an update, or sit with Captain Rex and Sergeant Coric while they were in their bacta chambers, or visit with any other Torrent Company clones who'd been consigned here. And she hadn't been permitted to bid farewell to those who'd died in this sterile place despite the Kaminoans' best efforts to save them.

And that wasn't fair.

and

“Ahsoka!” Anakin’s hologram jittered and warped, the signal struggling to punch through the nebula’s interference. “What took you so long?”

“Sorry,” she said. “I was right up in the…”

“Never mind. What’s going on? You were supposed to give me regular updates!”

Was it the poor transmission quality or was his face practically black with oil? “I tried, Master, only…” She looked around, but the two Kaminoans sharing the comm center were busy with their own conversations. Still, to be on the safe side she hunched over the holotransmitter and lowered her voice. “They wouldn’t let me, Skyguy. They took my comlink and they won’t give it back!”

“It’s probably procedure,” said Anakin. “How’s Rex? How’s Carie? Have you seen them? When will they be discharged?”

“I don’t know!” She was practically wailing, and she didn’t care. “All I know is that Rex was hurt a lot worse than I realized. The last time I saw him he was talking, he didn’t look like he was…” She couldn’t say it. “But they won’t let me see him, or the sergeant, and they won’t tell me anything except they’re not dead.”

Anakin sighed. “That’s probably procedure, too. But if they’re not dead-that’s something. That’s good, Ahsoka.”

He sounded so relieved. It made her feel better, knowing he was as sick with worry on Coruscant as she was here. It made him seem less far away.”

If a Jedi commander staying at Medcenter or Jedi General worrying about his men weren’t told what was happening to the injured troopers in any great detail - or were not told at all - then logically thinking clones have an even lesser chance to learn about the fate of their injured or dying brothers (beside that they died at some point). Ahsoka even mentions that she wasn’t allowed to pay a visit to hospitalized there clones that served under her and General Skywalker nor to bid farewell to those who'd died.

Similarly to the Kaminoans, the medical droids like the one serving in Medbay on Republic assault ship Leveler also usually bar clones worrying about their comrades from the treatment areas. It didn’t work on Omega Squad though since the machine couldn’t order the commandos to go away. And only because Niner, Atin and Darman were so stubborn to stay and wait for injured Fi to wake up, they managed to save their brother once the droid declared him brain dead and actually disconnected from the life-support machinery.

  The senior med droid repositioned the sensors, checked the readout, and then stood back in processing mode for a few moments, the panel on its chest flickering through a sequence.

    Then it unhooked the filaments from the breather mask and removed the tube from Fi's throat. Darman couldn't work out what was going on at first. But Fi's chest wasn't moving, no rise and fall of steady breaths, and that was the point at which Darman started to think in terms of going in there and resuscitating like he'd been taught. The droid seemed to be watching Fi intently. Then it turned away to the trolley full of instruments, slipping items into the steribag for autoclaving.

    "That's it, I'm going to..."

    And then Fi took a long gasping breath and coughed. The droid spun around as if it hadn't been expecting that at all. Fi was breathing on his own again, but he certainly wasn't conscious.

    Darman was a stride from the doors when Niner stepped in his way and pushed through ahead of him.

    "Droid," he said, "you want to tell me what's going on? What happened there? Is he okay?"

    The med droid placed more sensors on Fi, this time on his chest and throat. "He's breathing unaided, and I wasn't anticipating that outcome."

    "So why did you take the shabla tube out of him, then?" Darman snapped. He got the picture now, all right. They thought Fi was dead. "What's that about?"

    The droid just followed its protocols. It dealt with a steady stream of wounded and dying men every day, and Fi was no more special to it than the next trooper. It was nothing personal at all. "His brain scan showed insufficient activity."

    "You mean you pulled the plug on him?"

    "I assessed him as brain-dead. That's still my professional opinion. The medical protocol is that we don't continue life support if a patient is still showing isoelectric scans after forty-eight hours." The droid paused. "Flatlining, I believe you call it."

    The words hit Darman like a punch in the gut. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Republic medical care was the best there was: prosthetic limbs, bacta, microsurgery, nanophar-maceuticals, you name it, the stuff of which miraculous recoveries were made. Fi couldn't end up like this. Darman refused to accept it.

   [...]

    "Clones can be very disruptive to the orderly running of this unit," it said. "I tire of explaining our protocols to you, which is why I usually bar your kind from the treatment areas." So this wasn't the first argument the droid had had with a man's comrades, then. "But I have no authorization to transfer a patient in this state to any facility, so what happens to RC-eight-zero-one-five when we transfer the wounded is outside my authority."

    Niner stood back to let Darman and Atin steer the gurney across to the treatment bays. They now had an audience of droids and walking wounded. "You mean you don't know what to do with him."

    "That's what I said, isn't it?"

    The droid let them take Fi. It was a busy droid that didn't have time to argue with RCs who weren't going to take no for an answer, and Darman felt brief guilt for tying up resources when there were wounded vode with less clout in dire need. But Fi was his brother, and if Darman didn't look out for him then the whole fabric of his tight-knit world, the small circle of people who were his life, meant nothing.

    Niner pulled the bay shutters across to give Fi some privacy, and the three men crowded in as best they could, shoulder plates scraping one another. They had no idea what to do with Fi, either, except lay him in a coma position, make sure his saline line was clear - Sergeant Gilamar's combat medic course back in Tipoca was ingrained in them - and get on the comlink to someone who'd be able to sweep aside the bureaucracy and osik back on Coruscant: Kal Skirata.

(And even putting Fi into hospital on Coruscant didn’t solve the problem, as he was once again almost terminated by medical droids. This time it was a befriended citizen (Besanny)’s interference that saved the clone commando). 

In contrast, in Medstar: Battle Surgeons there was a clone trooper who waited outside the operation room to learn what happened to his wounded batch-mate. Jedi Barris Offee was curious why he was standing in the medical ward if he was healthy as she recognized him as her former patient while the doctor Jos Vondar (surgeon who operated on the wounded) did not withhold information from the soldier nor rebuke for being there in the first place. 

Barriss was on her way to the medical ward when she passed a trooper standing in the hall outside the main operating theater. He didn't seem to be doing anything other than simply standing there, staring at a blank wall.

    To the unaided eye, they all looked alike, but to one who was connected to the Force, this was not the case. She knew this one. He had been her patient.

    She stopped. "CT-Nine-one-four," she said.

    He looked at her. "Yes?"

    She could feel his question roiling in his mind, and she smiled. "You might all look alike, but you aren't all the same. Your experiences shape you as much as your her-itage. The Force can recognize this."

    He nodded. She regarded him. "You have no problems with your blood pressure," she said, and it was not a question - she knew it was true.

    "No. I feel fine-physically."

    "Why, then, are you here?"

    She felt rather than saw Jos Vondar emerge from the OT behind her, was aware of him listening.

    "I helped transport another trooper here yesterday. CT-Nine-one-five."

    "Ah. And how does he fare?"

"I don't know. He's still in surgery."

    Jos drifted over. "Nine-one-five? He, ah, didn't make it."

    The wave of grief that broke from CT-914 and washed over Barriss was sudden and strong. To look at his face, however, it was hardly apparent that he felt this deep emotional chord. He said, "Unfortunate. He was" - he hesitated, just a heartbeat or two, - "a good soldier. The loss of someone so well trained is... regrettable."

    Barriss could see that, even without the Force, Jos picked up on something either in CT-914's tone of voice or his body language, as subtle as both were. He said, "You knew him?"

    "He was decanted just after me. We trained together, were posted here together, we were part of the same cohort." CT-914 hesitated again. "He... I thought of him as my brother."

    Jos frowned. "But you're all brothers, in a sense."

    "True." The clone trooper straightened. "Thank you for your efforts to save him, Doctor. I'm going back to my unit now."

    He turned and strode away. Barriss and Jos watched him go. [...] - Medstar: Battle Surgeons

The CT-Nine-one-four did not ask to see the body of his batch-mate nor what will happen to the remains, which can be interpreted in various ways. Either he wasn’t ready to see his brother due to overwhelming emotional pain or he thought the doctors wouldn’t allow for that (as Kaminoans wouldn’t most likely) or he knew the procedures and assumed the body was already taken to the hospital morgue and there he could say his goodbye to lost comrade - something that if happened, was simply not mentioned to the readers. 

Those examples lead me to believe that the more advanced the medcenter was (as in, run by Kaminoans) or administrated by med droids alone, the less control clones have over the fate of their brothers’ wellbeing and in the case of death, their remains. On the frontline, the troopers - if there is time and possibility to do so - may bury them in the way they feel appropriate (e.g. leaving weapons and helmets as a way to mark the graves). In widely understood medcentres however there are a number of procedures that have not been detailed much in source material and for all we know, the clone deceased may be mass cremated, as it seems to be the case in the early imperial era.    

Next part: Conclusions

[stxrryclusterthinks]

I'm suffering from writers block, so I decided this was a better time than ever to use a saved prompt in the draft section to try and free me.

Coughing, the blonde clutches his side, leaning forwards to spit out whatever comes up. He had been hidden in the forrest, back resting against the same tree for the past, hour? He wasn't sure, but the sun was starting to set, which instilled a large panic residing within him.

Grunting, he pulls his hand away from his side, suddenly wishing he hadn't when he sees just how stained with blood it was. A newfound sickness rolls through him upon discovery of just how much he had lost.

Quietly, he's frustrated with himself. Why hadn't he brought his communicator along? He had left it back at the docks, thinking it would be what the elders called a "quick run." What had happened was that a small group of soldiers would leave the village they were stationed at for communications, food, the sorts.

Of course, living in a war zone, they would have to be careful, but it wasn't often that something would arise and send things askew. That led to now, a blonde sat bleeding out, bullet likely still lodged into his side. They had been jumped.

Attempting to stand, he uses the tree as a brace, moving to lean his uninjured sides shoulder against it. Huffing, he pushes himself off and almost instantly regrets it, stumbling while swaying and growing lightheaded instantly.

Through the fog that was his mind, the sudden recollection that night was coming spurred him on. He stumbles the way he thinks he initially came from. Adrenaline had already crashed long ago.

Eventually, he doesn't know when he hears shouts or cries from a near distance. Subconsciously, he knows that voice, so he can't help but wonder towards it. The swaying had nearly worsened as a headache settled within his temples, clawing all the way back and through his skull.

The crunching of leaves, the snap of a stick, a stuttered cry, and a hold.

Wait, he was being held?

The blonde just relaxes into the embrace, finally giving way and closing his eyes. A new, different yet welcoming kind of warmth filled him, even as he hears the familiar voice tell him almost panickedly to stay awake, instantly calling for help.

Had something bad happened? He only bled a bit.

The headache slowly lightened, complete darkness consuming him without a peep of light.

Was it night already? Okay, he can sleep for a bit, his brother always told him sleep was important anyway.

Just a little bit wouldn't hurt.

Yet, just like that, he gasps awake, newfound fear from a dream he can't quite remember grasping him. Trying to sit up, pain floods his body, and he finds it isn't worth it. He lays, sweaty and stripped down to messy and ugly brown shorts, white socks, and a gross tank top with tares and blood stains in it.

Looking around the room, he knows instinctively where he is just by the sheer number of beds. There were tables with wooden bowls, herbs, potions, and tools in them.

He gags slightly and moves his aching arm up to cover his mouth. Nausea settled in as a headache with vengeance attacks him. Somewhere to the side, he hears a door open yet not close, two different pairs of footsteps walking in.

"Tommy!" And the familiar voice near sprints (he jogs, knowing infirmary rules), to the bedside and is in an instant on his knees beside the blanket less beded boy. "What were you thinking?! Doing that! You didn't even warn me you were going on a petrol." The voice scolds, worry slipping through the firm tone.

"Mate, calm down. The boy just woke, he needs a chance to register everything. Let me give him his herbs." The by far to familiar herbalist nurse speaks, grabbing something from a nearby basket and a cup with already brewed bland tea from nearby. Sprinkling something into it, he slowly moves closer and motions to the brunette beside the blonde.

Tommy, the blonde, slowly sits up with the help. His hand is moved to hold onto the cup, shaking ever so slightly. Patiently, both stay quiet and let the boy sip on the tea. The elder in green robes took the empty cup after it was fully consumed.

"It will work, give it but a moment." He instructs before motioning to the brunette. "You may continue." He says, a hint of a smile on his face has Tommy groans, laying back down on the uncomfortable cot of a bed.

"You should have said something, first, Tommy." He scolds as the nurse moves to situate things in his own area, letting the two have a serious talk.

After some time, it goes from talking to light banter about other things. From how the Tubbo boy had proclaimed his (platonic) love for another kid named Ranboo, both of the two from different sections, to how trash every bed in the district's village was.

"It was horrible, Will! It was like a war, we were jumped and everything!" Tommy complains after his brother, Wilbur, made a snide comment about the fighting side.

The elder, Phil, pauses movement. He had been reorganizing herbs that weren't where they were meant to be. He sets them down gently, not wanting to cause damage to them.

"War?" He asks, turning to look at the two as a dark, unsettling look falls upon him. A discomfort ran throughout the infirmary. "You do not yet know war. You are a child who has tasted their first autumn frost and called it winter." He snaps at the boy, watching as silence bestows upon all three.

"Do not, speak of things you know not about." He turns just momentarily towards the herbs, ignoring the discomforting silence followed with their confused appearances. "I will be in the study if you need me." He settles with, moving hastily to leave, not wanting to stand there much longer with the unbearing feeling.

"What did he mean?" Tommy asks soon as the door is near forcibly slammed shut, his brother wincing at it.

"I'm not, entirely sure. But rumors have it, he's old as time. Why he speaks all funky." Wilbur tries to lighten the atmosphere, Tommy instantly following along.

Both ignoring the discomfort that lingers even with the familiar conversation and banter.

In the study, Phil sits, familiar bucket hat stored away in a case not to be worn. Sword decorated with another language few could decipher placed sideways in a case below it. Both along the left wall, his desk sat in the center of the room, papers all along it. A singular large window along the furthest wall.

He sighs, standing in front of the windows. Waiting, like he does any other day. Pondering, like any other day.

But this time, not about who's to be treated or where something was.

This time, it was about a man he'd been waiting to hear from for a long, long time now.

And yet, like clockwork, he turns his attention to a familiar "tap, tap, tap," against that very window.

It's time.

He opens the window and wastes no time in grabbing the bucket hat, deciding to let the sword rest for just a bit longer.

But now, at least, if he is to be dragged into yet another war, at least the opposing side will know who he's fighting for.

And it wasn't the one he stood with.

"War? You do not yet know war. You are a child who has tasted their first autumn frost and called it winter."

[anthonys237thfreckle]

i need need need headcanons for anthony with a gf who’s like got a career in STEM and she’s super smart and as an actor he’s amazed by her lmao.

this is so cute! thanks anon

I’m looking for a woman in STEM - Anthony Ramos x F! Reader

prompt: headcanons for Anthony who’s girlfriend is in STEM - i’ve picked biomed for a degree since my mom wanted me to do biomed in high school

TW: mentions of academic stress and panic attacks, mention of drugs used in medicine, mention of mental illness

🔬 when you both first met, and he first asked for where you graduated from, let me tell you - mans did NOT expect you to say ‘Cambridge’

🔬 ‘Oh, so like Cambridge College in Massachusetts?’

🔬 This man omg

🔬 When you said ‘No, England’ he felt goosebumps cause like ‘geez louise CAMBRIDGE?’ and when you casually said you did biomed he was like ‘wait what-’

🔬 ‘Me? Oh, I did Musical Theatre’ he says matter of factly, and you’d add ‘Oh, I played piano when I was in elementary-’

🔬 You’d be the definition of a perfect golden child. He knows that couldn’t have been easy

🔬 When you two do start dating, he’s always bragging ‘Oh my girlfriend does lab research for this new supplement for this drug for schizophrenia in children-’ HE’S A PRO YAPPER. Especially in interviews.

🔬 He’s so proud of everything you’ve done - doing medicinal research at NYMC (New York Medical College)

🔬 Maybe in the winter as you two are baking (you always make sure the measurements are perfect, never letting him measure anything out lol) he always says baking is an ‘art’

🔬 ‘Actually babe, it’s chemistry’ you’d chuckle, taking a bite out of some gingerbread cookies, and ever since, he’s jokingly kept a lab coat and goggles and chides you for ‘not tying your hair in the lab’.

🔬 You’d tell him about how hard high school and college was for you, having to get a scholarship, going to British private schools because the medicine industry is mad competitive and honestly, you need to show something off in your application.

🔬 You’d tell him how even though you did Cambridge IGCSE and A level courses all throughout high school, it was no match for what England had in store for you - panic attacks became a weekly thing.

🔬 I mean, you did Pure Math, Biology, Chemistry and Psychology A and AS levels for gods sake - its an absolute mindfuck.

🔬 He’s always there to reassure her how smart she is and that she’s human no matter what - that college is over, and the drug trials will end up great, and a bunch of kids will get some damn good medication.

🔬 He LOVES it when you come watch his shows and movies. It means the absolute world to him.

🔬 Soon, he kind of drifted away from theatre after Hamilton, and started in film, and would always get super excited whenever he’d get some remotely science-y role.

🔬 Like in In Treatment, he’d come to you for help for some advice on his role, on some deeper level analysis (not as deep as an actual therapist guys, just a psych student level) and you’d be squealing with pride when you see him on TV.

🔬 And when he got into the more Sci-Fi movies like Transformers, he’d tell you ‘it’s not that deep, baby.’ whenever he’d catch your brows furrow in confusion at the misuse of a niche scientific term

🔬 He’d be so happy when he landed Twisters, even though you weren’t a meteorology student, your use of organic chemistry would def have some revelations when watching Kate use some form of polycarbonate.

🔬 ‘they’re right! they use silver iodide for cloud seeding!” you’d giggle.

🔬 affectionately calls you ‘nerd’ all the time.

— for anyone not british, igcse is from grades 9-10 and a levels are a bit like AP! but like they have a lot of depth. you’re not expected to do more than three.

[bonefall]

Honestly? Warriors could use more types of illness besides The Color Coughs to keep things interesting. So, based on a small amount of cursory research--

There are three common causes of feral kitten eye infections:

1. Bacterial infections (staphylococcus spp. or streptococcus spp.) 2. Viral infection (Calcivirus and feline herpesvirus) 3. Physical issues like third eyelid inflammation, allergies, and debris

 For the bacterial infection, honey reigns supreme. It’s THE best possible antibiotic you can find in nature.

For the viral infection, both of these are also packaged with respiratory infections. There is nothing you can take to cure it directly-- the cat goes on medicine so that it doesn’t pick up a secondary infection while fighting it off. This actually sounds like the canonical Color Coughs to me, like Greencough is just what they call it if it advances to Bronchitis.

Lysine is a supplement often prescribed to cats with FEV, it’s a simple amino acid present in basically all proteins, especially in milk... so I’m not sure if it’s feasible for the cats to collect it. Even if they had an animal to milk like a cow, cats are lactose intolerant and can’t digest it.

With physical issues, now we’re talking about real varied treatments.

For allergies, butterbur and processed stinging nettle are herbs Warriors can access that act as natural antihistamines.

For dry eyes, there’s no shortage of herbs said to help with it... though, these are boiled and used as eye drops and compresses, keep in mind. Fennel, eyebright, and chamomile have all been used historically. (Avoid spearmint for your OCs though, all mints are toxic to cats)

For ALL of these though, the medic will want to make sure the eye stays clean, and the den is as humid as possible. If your cats can use fire to boil water then let it cool down before use, that’s VERY helpful. Dirty water (like that collected from a river or pond) is more likely to cause infection.

There should be some sort of herbal remedy to eye infections in kits

Its pretty common for feral kittens to get eye infections so I think it could be neat for med cats to have some sort of remedy or something that stops it from happening to explain why thats never really a problem in warriors!

[jermer10]

Yandere Scout with a civilian reader?

TF2 yandere scout x civilian reader

18+ only, gn reader | yandere scout my beloved

tw: yandere themes, stalking, graphic depictions of violence, non-consensual sexual activity

drabbles under the cut :P

Being the 10th class, 'The Civilian', you’re someone different, special in a way that the others aren't

You work behind the scenes, cleaning up the battlefield after each fight, being escorted from point A to B with sensitive information by whichever team had you for that week

Thus, Scout quickly becomes fixated, convinced that he’s the only one who can understand and protect you

His mind is always on you. During missions, downtime, and even in the middle of conversations with the team, you occupy his every thought

He imagines every scenario where he’s the one protecting you, keeping you safe, and, most importantly, keeping you his

Scout makes it a point to always know where you are, even when you think you’re alone he's there, watching from the shadows

You might think you hear footsteps behind you or feel eyes on you, but every time you look, no one's there, you start to spiral into a paranoid mess

Scout steps in as your personal confidant, gaslighting you into believing you're having some sort of stress related psychotic episode

His stalking becomes more brazen over time, but he always plays it off like it’s no big deal

Scout’s obsession with you knows no boundaries - most nights he sneaks into your room and watches you sleep (and yes, he touches himself to you)

He’s careful not to wake you, his eyes scanning every detail, convinced that no one else could ever appreciate you the way he does

Escalated from jerking off behind you, to rubbing his cock on your lips, to using your thighs as a fleshlight

He intentionally cums on pieces of clothing from your closet, he doesn't care if you notice, if you take them to Medic for analysis - the samples always seem to go missing anyway

Some nights he drugs you with the intention of actually fucking you, but he can never work up the courage, wanting to save your first time together for when you're officially his

His biggest fantasy is having you beg for him, he wants you to obsess over him in the way he does to you

He hates when anyone else talks to you, especially if you seem to enjoy their company

If another mercenary spends too much time around you, Scout gets jealous and finds ways to interrupt - whether it’s a poorly timed joke, pretending to need something urgently, or picking a fight with them, he won’t stop until they leave you alone

Scout likes to take little items as trophies or souvenirs, something to remind him of you when you’re not around (often repeatedly cumming on the items - marking his territory)

He feels entitled to your personal space and has no qualms about going through your things when you’re not there, sitting so close to you he's basically on top of you, hugging you and touching you without asking

If you ask for space or mention feeling uncomfortable he stops talking to you for days, making threatening and suicidal comments when you're in earshot

Eventually you apologize to him, and he makes sure you know how happy he is that you've "come to your senses"

"I dunno why you'd even think somethin' as stupid as that in the first place, I don't make ya uncomfortable, you're probably just feelin' totally flattered, babe! It's okay, sometimes I can't tell the difference either."

His obsession escalates into paranoia - he becomes convinced that everyone around you is trying to take you away from him

Even innocent interactions are blown out of proportion in his mind, and he’ll go to great lengths to ensure no one gets too close

He will sabotage others’ efforts to spend time with you, spreading rumors or even manipulating situations so that they’re pushed out of your life

It seems like everyone has picked up on his irrational behaviour except you, and god help the soul who tries to warn you, so they stay away and hope that his "crush" passes

If he feels like you’re pulling away or that someone else is threatening his claim on you, he might snap

In a worst-case scenario, he could take matters into his own hands, kidnapping you and isolating you somewhere he believes no one can hurt you

To Scout, everything he’s doing is out of love - his intense possessiveness, his constant stalking, and even the lengths he’s willing to go to keep you close are all justified in his mind

[multifandomthoughts]

GN Reader

Tw: Canon typical shenanigans, grave robbing, mentions of death and corpses

“Medic, we can’t be doing this! It’s not ethical or legal!” Your voice trembles as you follow the doctor down a secluded dirt path. “And when has that ever stopped me? Those qualms aside, I am in the pursuit of scientific advancement, you know that. You can’t believe you’re actually going along with one of his schemes.

There was a tendency you had to stay up late, but you had been methodical in your efforts to stay away from medic during these periods. His mind was the most unstable, most creative. And often was in need of companionship in order to carry out whatever experiments or other activities he had going on in the dark of the night.

He had caught you red handed. Sneaking a drink out of the shared fridge, the door creaking open alerted him to your presence. “Oh, there you are…” He growls.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You can tell by the tone of his voice that he has some sort of shit-eating grin on his face, and that only means one thing. He was going to persuade force you to help him with whatever dastardly plot he has going on.

Before you can even respond to his comment, you drop your drink and try to sprint past him. He grips your shirt and with that same devilish smile, he shakes his head. “Now now…you’re going to help me with my experiment whether you like it or not.”

An hour later, all you’d managed to do was grow increasingly hoarse as you kept futilely protesting the whole way to your dark, unknown destination. You stumble, tripping multiple times over what seem to be tree roots and rocks. But, not knowing where you are, and the fact that fog has begun to set, distorts your vision heavily.

“Yes, yes! We are almost there, Schatz.” Medic says, his grin spreading ear to ear and his voice sounding like a giddy school boy. “Medic, where exactly are we going?” You question timidly. “Why, we’re going to the cemetery of course! I needed new specimens for my studies, and Miss Pauling refused to give me the bodies of the people we killed, so I had to resort to….drastic measures.”

Your stomach is now in your throat and your skin goes pale. You knew you were doing something unethical, but you didn’t know how unethical. Your footsteps slow, but don’t stop as you have nowhere to go, Medic was the one who drove you here.

As if he had eyes on the back of his head, he mumbled: “We’re not using fresh corpses you know…” Upon hearing that you spat “How does that make it any better?” “Well, I’m trying to run some tissue decomposition analysis so I can see how long it takes, and how I can potentially speed up the process.”

The gears turn in your head as you realize what he’s getting at. Your jaw drops as you look over at him. “Medic! That makes things worse!” Looking back at you, Medic gives you a sheepish grin. Or what could be described as a sheepish grin if he wasn’t absolutely unashamed of what he’s doing.

You continue to follow him as you have no way to get out of there, he did drive you there. Sighing, you know that no matter what you do, you can’t dissuade him from what he’s doing. He practically has no morals, so any way to change this would be moot. “Ah, here we are.” He comments, arriving at a relatively old grave.

It wasn’t by much, but it made you feel a little bit better that you weren’t disturbing a freshly dug grave. You can’t help but feel a bit on edge as you begin to dig, not wanting to destroy the remains. For what seems like forever, you uncover dirt and remove it from the grave. Finally, you come upon something as the shovel makes a “thunk.” noise, causing you to jump a bit. Beginning to panic, you remove the rest of the dirt, trying to see what you hit. The noise you had caused turned out to be a coffin, which relieves you greatly.

“Oh, what do we have here, hmm?” Medic mutters as he stops his digging, wandering over to you. He eyes the coffin devilishly, eager to open it up and see what’s inside. With a subtle nod, you both kneel down and open up the body’s final resting place. To your relief, it was only bones. Even though it was a relatively old grave, you weren’t quite sure what you were going to see.

With a rather giddy sound, Medic begins to appraise the skeleton, seeing if the specimen is up to his specifications. Gleefully, he decides that he can use the bones, and begins to pocket them. Within the next few hours, the cycle rinses and repeats. Sometimes you didn’t find anything, sometimes the body wasn’t up to his standards and sometimes it was perfect.

“Now that we have all the specimens we need…” Medic states calmly “You won’t ever have to do this again. I’m quite aware that this frightens and disturbs others, but I figured that since you were around when I needed you, you would comply like a good little assistant.”

Fidgeting with your hands, you begin to speak up. “No, I.…I actually loved it. At first it terrified me, as it would anyone, but as I got into the swing of things, it felt nice to actually spend time with you, get to know you better, even crack jokes with you. But next time, I’d prefer a heads up of what you’re going to be doing instead of forcefully dragging me along.”

And in that moment, you saw something incredibly rare from Medic: a genuine heartfelt smile. “My friend, that pleases me to no end to hear you say that…some people don’t exactly enjoy my company due to the reasons you stated before…but to hear you say you enjoyed it, makes my heart soar. And I promise that next time I will ask for your consent for these little excursions, alright?” Medic states, holding out his hand for a shake.

Taking his hand, you give it a firm shake before letting it linger a little longer that normal. And with that, you follow Medic into the night, ready for the next new adventure.

[freezingmcxn]

Jeff the Killer: A deep “analysis” of his appearance.

Tw: heavy discussion of gore and grotesque imagery

I'm not a medical professional, these insights are based on research from books, medical websites, and basic biology I learned in school.

Jeff the Killer is a character known for his appearance, shaped by bleach, fire, and his Glasgow smile.

However, I want to consider his look from a realistic perspective.

His Skin

Ac:shatteredankles

Jeff would likely exhibit various types of burns with different colors and textures. Pale skin alone wouldn't define his appearance:

Immediately After Being Burned

His wounds might appear red, bumpy, and extremely swollen.

Blisters, ranging from a few centimeters to a few inches (depending on severity), could form across the affected areas, giving his skin a “glossy sheen”.

In the most affected parts, the external layer of skin could “split open” and separate from the layers beneath, revealing raw, shiny, and splotchy skin.

The area that dealt with the most intense flames could become blackened, bloody and flaky wounds.

The parts of his skin that burned for the longest might have left his skin looking leathery rather than freshly burned, skin cooks (think of beef jerky).

Healing Process

If Jeff had received skin grafts in a hospital, the scars might show a fishnet pattern due to the stretching of the grafts. However, it’s unlikely that Jeff’s body would have fully healed without extensive treatment(he decided to murder his whole family before getting it..so y’know).

Therefore, his burns might be severely infected:

Swelling and fluid buildup under the skin and around wounds would start to happen.

This fluid could be yellow, green, brown, or black, accompanied by a foul odor like “ammonia or spoiled fruit”

Fourth-degree burns could have caused significant nerve damage, leaving him in constant pain and with a high risk of septic shock.

Demeanour

Burning bleach can release toxic fumes, including chlorine gas, leading to severe respiratory issues, lung damage, and potential poisoning:

Jeff might have a chronic cough, difficulty speaking, and breathing issues, resulting in a raspy voice.

Burns are extremely itchy, especially first-degree burns, leading to relentless scratching.

Jeff would likely be in excruciating pain constantly, possibly resulting in substance abuse, such as morphine and painkillers, due to his inability to access medical care as a fugitive.

His skin might be peeling or falling off, necessitating the use of bandages to hold it together and attempt to heal.

Jeff could suffer from PTSD (btw adding this depth to his character is amazing to see rather than the usual edgy teen)

His Smile

Jeff’s cheeks are cut from the corners of his mouth up towards his ears, creating an exaggerated "smile."

The Initial Injury

The cuts would be deep, extending through multiple layers of skin and possibly affecting the muscles around the mouth.

This specific type injury would cause so much bleeding, and without immediate medical intervention, it would be difficult to manage on his own, he would’ve been gushing blood for a long time, enough to make him pass out.

The initial pain from such an injury would be excruciating obviously , this will most definitely contribute to Jeff's psychological state.

Healing and Scarring

As the wounds attempt to heal, they would form thick, rigid scar tissue. The scars might be red/purple initially, fading to a lighter color over time but remaining highly visible (look up pictures of a healed Glasgow smile).

The scars would be rough and raised, with a “puckered apperance due to the tension in the skin as it heals.” The skin around the scars might appear uneven and bumpy.

The scarring could cause stiffness and limit the movement of his mouth, making most facial expressions very difficult.

Eating, drinking, and speaking could be significantly impaired due to the weird structure and function of his mouth.

Given Jeff’s lack of proper medical care, the cuts could become infected, like his burns.

Infected scars might appear swollen, red, and could exude pus (gross).

The deep cuts could damage facial nerves, leading to areas of numbness or chronic pain and hypersensitivity around the scars.

The scars would be a constant reminder of his trauma and might show signs of repeated irritation or reopening due to scratching his burns and all around poor healing environment.

I have no motivation to answer asks on my au rn, I’m trying my best, I made this for y’all :)

[venusvity]

i need like an in depth analysis on jinhwa and chloe's relationship bc i am so intrigued. he doesn't screw around with her like he does with yoonah but he seems to care for her way more?? it's kinda fascinating

A STUDY ON THE RELATIONSHIP OF SON JINHWA & CHLOE LEE. TW // MENTIONS OF RAPE.

Chloe Lee is not only a great investment for Son Jinhwa but also one of the few women he respects. Son Jinhwa is one of the few men that Chloe Lee respects.

Chloe Lee would file a police report to report a sexual assault in October of 2022, with Son Jinhwa acting as her witness. Despite medical reports confirming she was sexually assaulted, and multiple males' DNA was found, Chloe Lee refused to name her attackers despite Son Jinhwa insisting she knew them. Charges were never filed after her assailants failed to be identified.

Chloe and Jinhwa have what some would call a “trauma bond,” but the trauma is solely placed on Chloe. Jinhwa is attached to Chloe out of guilt for facilitating an environment that allowed her rape to happen. Chloe is connected to Jinhwa because he was there for her in her weakest moments and was the only person who knew what had happened to her for a long time.

Though this is not a healthy reason to be attached to someone, Chloe is easily the healthiest relationship Jinhwa has had with a woman and vice versa for Chloe. They are friends, much to the dismay of the others in their lives.

(insp)