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LIKE AN OLEANDER
Summary: Bill Cipher needs a footstool and a thoroughly Stockholmed Ford is happy to oblige.
Relationships: Bill Cipher & Ford Pines, Pyronica is there too
Content Warnings: Abuse, Master/Pet, Psychological Torture/Horror/Trauma, Stockholm Syndrome, Victim Blaming, Sensory Deprivation
Tags: Triangle Bill, Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, Bill Cipher Wins, Collars, Chains, Whump, Hurt No Comfort, Bill Cipher is a Jerk
Word Count: 1,306
Link to AO3: Here
A/N: Based on @jellyskink’s immaculate Domesticated Ford AU, in which Bill mentally breaks Ford in the 1980s and brainwashes him into an obedient and fawning pet. Weirdmageddon started early, and over time the weirdness bubble surrounding Gravity Falls naturally expanded to contain both California and Oregon. If you want to learn more, there’s a lot more tidbits on their blog, though fair warning it’s a pretty dark and sad AU.
Thank you, jellyskink, for giving me the green light to write a fic for this!
I saw someone say this au is “all pain, no sex” which is really at the heart of what I look for in fics, but is so painstakingly absent in most fandoms, so this is a godsend •⩊•
If you haven’t listened to “Oleander” by Mother Mother what are you even doing with your life /lh
Bill Cipher is in a particularly good mood today. He and Pyronica probably broke a record for largest bonfire in California, even counting all their previous antics over the years. Not the dream demon’s most creative endeavor by a long shot, but hey, sometimes you just gotta start a blazing inferno to let off some steam. Nothing wrong with a bit of simple, straightforward arson now and then.
It’s only when he returns to the Fearamid, practically glowing, buzzing and high off the screams of the innocent, that he remembers the state he left Sixer in.
The man is in a kneeling position, collared by the neck. His hair, fluffy and disheveled, feathers down to around his shoulders, brushing against the cruel blue metal. His twelve fingers twitch and grasp at nothing, futilely, as though groping for purchase on a rugged cliffside. His purple sweater is rumpled in places, like he had pulled and grabbed at that too, to no evident avail. He’s whimpering to himself, words that are at first indiscernible as Bill enters the massive chamber.
The scientist is tethered to a ring near the base of the Throne of Frozen Human Agony, staring vacantly into the middle space, unseeing. It’s not his fault. Bill severed all input from his optic nerves, so he literally can’t see. Or hear. Or feel. Yeah, he cut off those nerves too. It was supposed to be a punishment that lasted a few hours. And then Bill had left and gotten carried away with his fun, and well, it had been an entire day.
Whoops.
Make no mistake, he doesn’t feel bad about it. If anything, it’s kind of funny, like forgetting to feed your dog! Wait. Humans don’t find that funny. Well, who can expect them to understand the emotions of an all-powerful chaos god? He draws closer, and the previously indiscernible words sharpen into clarity.
“I love you, my muse. I love you.”
Repeated ad nauseam to the uncaring void.
“Aww,” Bill clasps his hands together and brings them closer to his eye. “He’s so pathetic!” Pyronica, who came in with him, nods her agreement and laughs along. This must be what it’s like to catch your puppy mid-dream, its little tongue lolling and leg kicking at nothing.
He can’t remember whether he instructed his pet to repeat those words or not. Honestly, it’s anyone’s guess. Bill’s will and Ford’s are so inextricable at this point that Ford often does things without needing to be told. Of course, they’re not entirely on the same wavelength, or else punishment wouldn’t be required in the first place.
“Eh, remind me to snap him out of it in another half an hour,” Bill says, settling himself on the throne. With a wave of an arm he summons a martini glass. “I’m gonna have myself a drink.”
“Sure thing, boss.” He summons a glass for her too, and hipshot, she accepts. “Hey, you think we should’ve put the fire out before we left?”
They both share a hearty chuckle over that. “Would be a shame if it all burned down!” Bill sighs as the laughter dies down. “Nah, but seriously. California will still be there for us to play with tomorrow. And if it isn’t, we can always just rebuild it! In my image! Ha!”
“Yeah. Technically the fires are my image though.”
“Touché!”
They talk for a while, maybe 20 minutes or so in this fashion, casually sipping time punch and discussing unnatural disasters like they’re music festivals. Ford goes completely untouched and unnoticed, until suddenly Bill returns his attention to the human, and a light bulb goes off next to his hat.
“Wait. Do you wanna see something hysterical? I have the best idea.”
Every sensation returns to Ford at once in a flood of color, touch and sound. Sometimes, when Bill is feeling merciful, he eases him back into it, but his merciful moods are few and far between. More commonly, he likes to toss the scientist in the deep end and watch him flounder, tears quickly beading at the corners of Ford’s eyes and spilling fatly over his cheeks. His body convulses in a singular, broken sob, and before he can finish another apologetic, “I love you,” Bill hits him with a hard command.
“Stanford! I need a footstool!” The demon extends his legs and wiggles his feet a little. He whistles as though beckoning a dog. “Come ‘ere!”
Despite his disorientation, Ford rushes to obey, lurching in the direction of Bill’s voice and falling flat on his face. Shakenly, he picks himself off the ground, letting loose a singular groan.
“I’m still waiting!” Bill sings, swinging his legs a little for effect. Pyronica snickers. Ford tries again, following the sound of his muse’s voice, although he is quickly dismayed to find that he’s already reached the end of his chain. He falls just short of Bill’s feet, and no matter how he chokes himself, no matter how hard he tugs at the collar or the chain attached, he can’t go any further than this. His distress is evident in the way he keens.
“What are you doing?” Bill demands, rolling his eye. “All I asked for was a simple footstool and you can’t even do that? Bad! Bad dog!” Ford sobs.
“I-I’m sorry, my muse!” he rasps, the cold metal of the collar pressing in on his windpipe as he strains to obey. “I’m so sorry!”
Pyronica is practically in stitches at this point, and Bill is a showman, a class clown ever chasing the next laugh. “Are you really though?” His eye wanes to an amused crescent. “Do you even love me, if you can’t even follow a command as simple as this?”
“Yes!” Ford insists with a cry. “Yes, my muse, I love you! I’m sorry that I’m so useless… Please, please forgive me…”
“Why should I? Do you think you deserve forgiveness?”
“N- No,” Ford sniffs, “but—”
“Alright, alright. Since I’m in such a good mood, I’ll give you a hand.” Bill waves his hand in a circle and the chain elongates, allowing just enough slack for Ford to crawl under his waiting feet. Bill settles them heavily on top of Ford’s back and sighs. “Ahh, that’s better.” The man shakes under the weight.
“Thank you, my muse,” he says. Normally, he would be a lot happier about serving Bill like this, but he’s clearly still torn up over his recent punishment and failures. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t mention it, kid!” Bill rests his hands behind his ‘head,’ or rather, the tip of his topmost vertex. “Maybe after this, if you’re good, you can have a treat.”
“R- Really? Oh, thank you so much, my muse. I promise I’ll be good.” His voice is still wavery from the earlier-shed tears, but his cheer seems to be returning. It’s not difficult to keep the man happy when he’s so thoroughly and hopelessly smitten with his muse. Bill could have Pyronica drop-kick Ford off the top of the Fearamid right now and when he reached the bottom he would find a way to smile and thank Bill, no matter how many broken pieces he was in.
“Yeah. Now shut up while I get some reading in. Hasn’t anyone ever told you footstools don’t talk? Sheesh.” With a sigh, Bill summons an extradimensional magazine and floats it in front of his eye, every so often flipping through the pages. Pyronica says she’s off to see what Teeth and Keyhole are up to, and Bill acknowledges her departure with a little grunt and wave. Ford stifles a whimper. His back has already been giving him issues lately, and this definitely isn’t helping matters, but he soldiers through it for his muse. He’s determined not to mess up again. He’s determined to be a good footstool.
A/N: This is my first time writing from Bill’s perspective! I don’t usually write him this cruel, so it was a fun change of pace to lean full force into that side of him. Thanks again, jellyskink, I hope you liked this little installment!
#Domesticated Ford AU#gravity falls#gravity falls au#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#fanfic#fanfiction#archive of our own#ao3#tw abuse#toxic relationship#stockholm syndrome#image description in alt#cross posted on ao3#matcha-milkies ♡♡
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i rlly like ur posts abt how steves rough time with his dad as a little kid affects him later in life. i was wondering do u think the other avengers notice? and if they do what do you think they think/do about it?
also tbh i rlly like ur posts in general lol. i hope you have a good day!
I think the other Avengers notice after some time, considering most of them have similar experiences. I imagine it's sort of an unspoken thing, but it's almost... more notable on Steve, because he's so goddamn young and because when he wakes up from the ice, he's so goddamn stretched thin, that the reserves he usually has to shove all those old habits into a box are low. He's jumpy, the others notice. A raised voice-- especially male-- makes him flinch before he smooths out his face. Making requests is hard for him, and mistakes-- even small ones-- are met with scrambling apologies and frantic attempts to fix the problems.
No one says anything, because they know what it's like, and they don't want him to feel cornered. But there's a hard mission, and he and Natasha are alone in a motel room, and Steve is so clearly low. Kids had been involved. And Natasha had seen the way Steve had shut down to see the marks and bruises on the little boy and girl they'd gotten out of a trafficking situation, and she understood. Albeit for different reasons, but at the core, the pain was the same. They'd both just been kids when they were hurt. Young and lost and wondering what they'd done to deserve the grown ups around them squashing them down and making them feel no better than the dirt.
He doesn't say anything, so she doesn't either. But that night, she can't sleep, and neither can he, and when she hears him shift, roll over. Curl onto his side as the silent tears start, she can't stand it anymore.
Her bed creaks as she slides out, ignoring the rough crunch of the carpet as she pads over to Steve's bed and climbs in behind him.
She crawls onto the bed behind him, stretching out. "Can I hold you?" she whispers. Steve shrugs. He doesn't care. He doesn't understand why she would want to be the big spoon to his hulking frame, but if she wants to, he won't stop her. He's too tired to. He feels her wiggle close and slides an arm over his chest, hugging him flush against her. Her palm rests over his heart and she rubs, soothing.
It eases some of the weight. Some of the ache. He breathes, shaky. She kisses the back of his neck. It's quiet for a long time.
Natasha's voice is soft and private when she speaks. "It hurts, what they did to us, doesn't it?"
Steve freezes, listening. Natasha holds on. He doesn't move her.
"Why would anyone treat children that way? Hurt them that way?"
Steve clenched his jaw, resignation in his gut. "How could you tell?"
Natasha sighs. "I put it together, more or less."
Steve nods and doesn't say anything. It's quiet here, outside the city. The world dark and lacking that telltale bustle. Steve hates it.
"It's alright that you're hurting still," Natasha continues, and Steve wants to beg her to stop, but he's too curious, too desperate for someone to see him that he doesn't. "It's okay that you're still scared. You're safe, darling... you don't have to believe that yet."
He starts to tremble.
"Shh, baby, hey," she soothes and her voice is easy to stomach. Easy to understand. "Breathe for me."
He sucks in a deep breath.
"Did they hit you in the Red Room?" he asks.
"Sometimes," Natasha says. "It was calculated, though. Discipline."
Discipline. Steve doesn't think his father meant for his hits to be discipline. They were just... correction. To get him to shut up. Or maybe so he could get his anger out.
"Breathe," Natasha reminds again. Steve takes another measured breath. "You don't have to tell me anything. But you can. I won't get it all, but I might understand."
Steve considers that. "How old were you? When it started?"
"I don't remember," Natasha said. "Very young. Four, maybe? You?"
"I don't remember either," Steve whispers, and he's furious. Suddenly, he wants to set the world on fire. For the little girl who just wanted a chance to see the sunshine, and for the little boy who just wanted to play. "Maybe the same."
They fall back into silence. Steve can feel his teeth chattering. Natasha starts humming a song, simple and soothing under her breath. He knows he doesn't have to say anything else; she understands. He lets his eyes fall shut again.
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Making you fall in love with me at knife point is my love language ♡
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since this post gained over 1k notes people have been finding increasingly ridiculous ways to misinterpret it, which is honestly as impressive as it is frustrating.
this is a JEDI POSITIVE post. this is a post in praise of their culture, and a desire to see it represented and respected rather than being watered down to fit our standards of interpersonal relationships.
this is not about the jedi lacking something, or them raising their children incorrectly.
this is not about the jedi (specifically obi-wan) "rejecting" anakin in any way.
this is not about the jedi being "cult-like" or "alien" – of course they know what a parent-child relationship looks like, but they have no firsthand experience to inform their knowledge or their frame of reference beyond that.
this is a post about my love for jedi culture and the complexity of the master-padawan relationship, and how i myself, as a child of abuse, wish i could have experienced being chosen and guided by a master throughout the formative years of my adolescence.
if you're "jedi critical" or similarly-flavored, this post was not for you.
tired of jedi characters comparing their relationship to their master with a parent-child dynamic. they dont KNOW that dynamic!
give me more jedi comparing a non-jedi's familial relationship to that of an apprentice and a master - at least that would make sense!
jedi going "yeah, an adult who guides and protects you and you're supposed to listen to them? yeah thats a master- oh, your mom is like that too? neat :)"
more jedi not really understanding non-jedi family dynamics. more jedi being horrified at the concept of someone being rejected or mistreated by their parent, because "why did they choose to have you then???"
there's a lot of interesting parallels between master-padawan dynamics and parental/familial dynamics. i just want to see more of the comparison going the other way.
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the amount of times sam is just like. yeah ok dean hit me to get it out of your system. it's ok i can take it. i really want you to.
that is true love right there. ❤️
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read @qoldenskies ‘s Caged Lungs and now I need to die.
accurate live reaction of me reading this fic below. okay goodnight. I’m. yeah.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fic recs#rise fic#fic recommendation#caged lungs#quoldenskies#quolden#canary continuity#the canary continuity#tw abuse#good lord.
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here's the thing: if the writers wanted to show catra being defensive or avoidant about the portal reality, they could have done so without making her gaslight adora.
i mean, it's bad enough that catra doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions but they just made it worse by making her gaslight adora. there was no reason for catra to try and convince adora that she was imagining things or going crazy. that's just a whole another level of abusive.
if catra just pretended to not be aware that the portal reality was fake, sure it would still be shitty, but i would have been able to sympathize with her a bit more. i would have at least half-accepted the idea that she just wanted to believe that things were going well even when they weren't.
but by gaslighting adora, catra crosses a huge boundary and suddenly, it all seems more intentional than ever. and we're supposed to believe that this was when catra was emotionally unstable. i don't buy it. she was so calm and intentional in her actions, i refuse to believe that this was all some "lashing out in a moment of hurt".
#spop critical#spop salt#spop#spop discourse#spop criticism#she ra#anti spop#anti catradora#anti c//a#anti catra#tw gaslighting#tw abuse
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@what-is-my-aesthetic
ATHENA P!!!
DROP A CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS + DOG MAN DEEP DIVE VIDEO FOR 2025 AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!
#I must warn you Athena that Petey’s dad is abusive to him and his mom. I know how you feel about your own father so please tread carefully#tw abuse
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El-Max parallels implying Billy's physical abuse of Max
quick mostly-gif analysis. we're told that Billy "takes his anger out on Max" and that he "made her life living hell." was he physically abusive to Max all along? nobody ever says that.
we see Billy physically abuse Lucas and Steve. but if we're talking strictly about Max, those phrasings leave room for people to argue that Billy might've been emotionally abusive, but didn't actually hit her or anything. that that arm-grab in the car is just sibling behavior and not necessarily indicative of abuse.
and, hey man, look, you're right that they never say. but there's lots of things this show never explicitly says.
note that we only see Billy hurt Max twice, and both of those are parallels to ways we also see him hurt El.
the Billy-Max arm grab is suspiciously similar to the Billy-El arm grab. surprise grab, struggle/yanking, and then a rough release. he makes the same face.
(I've seen the argument that Max's daring snark before, and surprise at, the grab suggests he's never hurt her before. but I think both could just as well be explained by the fact that they're in public, where she thought she was safer from this than at home.)
we also see El and Max take facial injuries from flayed Billy at Starcourt. these close ups of their injuries are in consecutive scenes:
and we see him hurt El lots more times than we do Max.
so if the only two we know about are parallels, it makes me wonder about all the other times:
Billy strangling El
the way Billy pauses to look pointedly at Max as he starts strangling El, like he's getting something out of her, in particular, watching this. and then the way Max later looks guilty about the bruise it leaves on El's throat. (I will be discussing this at length soon)
Billy throwing the weights at El
that scene where he's lifting weights and yelling at Max (who's duct taping the skateboard he's heavily implied to have broken as punishment about Lucas)... hmmmm.
hey it's almost like the skateboard is a symbol of / scapegoat for Billy's abuse, because remember:
baby Max with the broken arm
maybe she broke it skateboarding. she did tell Nancy and Jonathan that skateboarding is why she knows first aid, but they don't look like they're buying it.
however, we just so happen to have seen another flashback of baby Max before, which makes it clear that she already knew Billy around this age. (Runaway Max says Billy broke her friend's arm btw.)
Billy repeatedly leaning over El at Starcourt
the "stay still" shit and the way he's repeatedly, unnecessarily, on top of El in that scene, using his body to trap her in. (like. if he wants her to quit struggling, it'd be easier to kick her when he's already standing than to get back on all fours and headbutt her. why does he actively get in the way of the MF to keep Doing That.) we've seen Billy block Max in before with the silent threat of his physicality. a subtle taste of a commonly overlooked form of abuse.
those all leave me wondering about the ones I can't think of Max screenshots to pair with.
Billy slamming El by the face... throwing her into the wall to knock her out... dragging El by the foot as she tries to crawl away from him (only to get back on top of her once again)...
but hey. no worries. they never said any of that.
#givehimthemedicine analysis#billy hargrove#max mayfield#eleven#tw abuse#some of these gifs are 💩 but I'm not doing it again#very much hoping the sa flavors are purely vecna and not really a billy thing (not that I'm happy about it being anyone's thing)#but the rest...
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CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase
An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer
If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.
"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"
We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.
Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.
Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.
But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?
I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.
So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!
Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT
This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.
But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.
Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .
But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.
If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.
You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.
He sees things which aren't truly there.
It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.
It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?
It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.
As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.
I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!
Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!
And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .
So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?
Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.
Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.
Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.
Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.
Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.
Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.
And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.
This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.
Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.
Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.
And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.
The fear of letting everyone down. Again.
And the fear of abandonment. Again.
All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.
So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?
First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.
Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.
Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!
With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.
Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.
So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?
It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.
The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.
The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.
The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.
And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?
No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.
The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.
To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:
Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.
The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.
The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.
So there's that.
But what helped then?
We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.
Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.
Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.
While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.
Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?
And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.
What all of this is about?
Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.
They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.
Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?
And here it comes full circle.
Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?
As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"
I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.
What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.
And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.
#I'm ashamed to admit how many times I did a complete rewrite of this thing#and how long did I put off this meta#but hey#now it's out of my system#also this fucking tumblr and its 30 images limit#forced me to delete some nice screenshots#but oh well#akira's whimpery metas#tw self-hatred#tw trauma#tw ptsd#tw abuse#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss ghostfuckers#helluva boss meta#blitzø#millie#stolitz#stolas#stolas x blitz#stolas goetia#blitz x stolas#blitz
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ive ruined my brain so much that when im bored/ have free time the first thing i do is stick my hand down my pants, sometimes without even noticing. when i open google my first insist is searching up porn. sometime if i forget what i wanted to search, i just watch porn. im so far lost ill forever be nothing more than a depraved sex toy.
#forced detrans#ftm detrans kink#ftm detransition#detrans#ftmtf#ftmtf kink#detrans me#ftm girl#ftm breeding#ftm#ftm chaser#free palestine#ftt#transphobes please interact#ftm t4t#tw abuse#fakeboy#chasers please interact#detrans kink#detrans female#detrans ftm#cnc k!nk#cnc free use#rough cnc#rough daddy#bd/sm kink#bd/sm slave
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this might be either the hottest or coldest take known to mankind, i have no idea, but i personally. hate the narrative that curly was abused by jimmy before the crash
nothing in the game suggests that jimmy was ever abusive to curly beforehand. maybe he got mad at him and unfairly blamed curly when he found out they were all gonna get fired, but that doesnt suggest abuse, that just suggests that he was a dick who blamed all his problems on the wrong people. not every instance of an abuser yelling at someone means that they were abusive to that particular person.
the POINT of the message is that they are friends, and that theyre good friends, and that THATS the reason why curly didnt do anything when anya told him. the POINT is the sa culture that real life men perpetuate, where they protect eachother and their friends when stuff like this comes out
"ive known him for a long time, ill talk to him" and letting him roam the ship free when hes been proven to abuse anya. he didnt have to do that, maybe he didnt know what to do but thats not an excuse ultimately.
saying that curly was abused by jimmy, that he was forced into not taking action, completely misses the entire point of curlys character, of "how come it always seems like youre standing on the edge of a bridge with your feet in cement?"
curly wasnt abused, he didnt have a reason not to do anything. he just didnt because jimmy was his friend
(for the record i dont hate curly. i think hes a good character and there were parts of a good person in him, but i hate his mischaracterization. he wasnt the villain that needed to take responsibility for jimmys actions like jimmy thought of him, nor was he this innocent person that didnt do anything wrong)
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#tw sa implied#tw abuse
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Plural culture is having a headmate who is completely obsessed with your& former abuser and has the most violent justice complex; who will stay up until 4 in the morning trying to get new information on them [i.e. their active social media accounts so we can block them and feel safe posting on non-anonymous platforms].
They aren't successful, and you wake up disoriented and blurry as hell because of the long ass search process they went through that you can't quite remember.
.
#endos dni#osdd#did#pdid#did system#osddid#pdid system#actually did#traumagenic#actually dissociative#plural culture is#syspunk#tw abuse#cw abuse
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Cult leader Whitney!?
He's so awful but so good at charming people and getting them to live at the compound. It doesn't take long for the abuse to start. It's all in the name of god of course, he is speaking through him.
OR maybe he is actually some kind of entity with godly powers. He's still an abusive asshole though, just with powers
#Cult leader Whitney#tw cult#tw abuse#dol#dol whitney#whitney dol#whitney the bully#degrees of lewdity
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Dear diary,
Daddy got me a new stuffie!!!! It’s a lamb! He said I’ll always be his little lamb and he will always be my wolf. I’m not sure what daddy means, but I love it. Daddy has been sneaking in my room at night when he thinks I’m sleeping. He lifts my night gown and just stares at my naked body. I got scared one time and jumped so now daddy give me sleepy gummies. They taste good, and daddy says I can have as many as I want. But I think something’s wrong with them every morning when I wake up I’m sore an I cant walk it hurts down there. I told daddy but he said I’m just going through growing pains.
- little lamb
#dolly#innocence#angel#lambs#daddy's good girl#daddy’s babygirl#dubious consent#dumb bunny#daddy’s brat#dumb wh0re#little lamb#little red riding hood#daddy’s little girl#daddy's little princess#daddy’s bunny#dadda#daddy’s wh0re#daddy issues#tw abuse#attention wh0r3#1cky daughter#bunny#subby bunny#daddy's bunny#1cky princess#bunny girl#dollette#dumb slvt#needy princess
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baby talk × bruising and cutting
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