#turned to her mother and pointed at me
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illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.
and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.
#<- guy who's only seen succession: this is just like shiv and logan#last point is kind of meta and hcish. idk how much caterina cared about her children and lucanis' mother. grain of salt everyone#but it would make sense to me. woman projecting her grief so hard it fucks up the next generation#at the end of the day realistically the best person to lead this criminal organisation is the sweet talker with no morals#who can rally their assassins and negotiate his way out of anything#not lucanis 'this crow has a heart' dellamorte. who i think would also be a fairer leader but#well. his leadership style would take a decidedly different turn. is that something he can afford as first talon??? like you know.#THE ASSASSIN GUILD? WITH THE VERY BLEAK HISTORY? 'WE'RE NOT HEROES ANYWHERE COUSIN' ?????#LED BY LUCANIS 'would rather endanger the mission than kill innocents' DELLAMORTE !!!!?#i would be less weird about it if the game acknowledged he's a 'kind' crow more explicitly and like#how this would change the crows. but realistically. and biasedly. i think illario makes a better (more morally grey too) talon#and also zevran should be here#anyways. im normal.#illario dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#dav#edit: NOTE I AM SAYING ILLARIO MAKES. A BETTER TALON AND NOT A GOOD ONE#his number one dickriding glazer but i would not go that far. sorry babe.
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as much as I love batgirl 2024, I have to admit the lack of Barbara Gordon mentions in the whole series so far, especially with the first arc having such a big theme of motherhood/daughterhood and the things that comes with it, makes me soo sad. Barbara was the first person Cass actually considered as a mother! Barbara, although she wasn’t the best at it at first, truly did try to understand and love Cass unconditionally even when she was separated from the Bat mantle! And that panel where Cass overhears Barbara tell Dick that she doesn’t know how to really care for Cass could’ve been the perfect parallel to the whole “is a Mother just being connected by blood? No, Something more is owed/Being a daughter is more than being connected by blood” lines that Cass says in the last (current) issue because Barbara, though she did not physically bring Cass into this world, has sacrificed SO much for her, and in return Cass gave so much back.
#don’t get me wrong I love Cass and Shiva’s dynamic and how it is being explored.#however I DO think you can make an excellent story about the two and their dynamic without Shiva taking a traditional ‘caring’ mother role-#-she realistically did not want or care for at least since after Caroline-and essentially Shiva’s old life and softness-died#although I guess you could say that since Shiva is both reminded of her lost softness and Caroline through Cass-#-Cass symbolizes Shiva’s softness and Caroline reborn especially considering Shiva literally points this out.#I think Shiva and even Cass certainly ‘sacrificed’ for each other and Shiva does care for Cass-#-but it’s not really in motherhood hence Shiva is not ‘soft’ enough for that. And it is not sisterhood-#-because Shiva sees way too much of herself in Cass (i.e “im an open wound” line) so that Shiva cannot fully project Caroline onto Cass.#I would say it is something between those lines. But care and fondness/longing for something lost long ago does not equal motherhood to me.#anyways sorry!! back to babs and cass <3#mainly referring to that issue where Barbara says to Cass “People will forget about me [as batgirl] and that’s ok”-#while essentially handing Cass the title as Batgirl.#Barbara sacrificed the mantle she so loved-the mantle she was angry and devastated and overjoyed and is/was a part of her-#because Barbara believed in Cass and her spirit more than hers. more than anyone’s.#Barbara gave Cass giant leather wings to take to the sky with. SHE LOVES HER SO SO MUCH SHSHDHSKSMSN#Barbara wanted Cass to experience the same joy and freedom she got out of being Batgirl. and in response Cass states-#-“I will never be as good as you” because Barbara IS batgirl still in spirit. And as far as Cass was concerned she will never be as good-#-she will never be as self sacrificing as Barbara no matter how many bullets Cass takes for people.#AND THIS IS SUCH A BIG AREA OF CONFLICT BECAUSE BABS WANTS CASS TO BE HER OWN PERSON SO BAD#SHE WANTS TO LEARN WHAT CASS LOVES AND WHAT CASS SMILES AT SO SHE CAN MAKE CASS SMILE ALL THE TIME#SHE WANTS CASS TO BE MORE THAN BATGIRL BUT ALL CASS WANTS IS TO BE BATGIRL#WHICH IN TURN MAKES CASS WANT TO BE MORE LIKE BARBARA-OR ESSENTIALLY MORE UNLIKE HERSELF-#WHICH MAKES BABS INCREASINGLY MORE DESPERATE TO LEARN ABOUT AND LOVE AND SEPERATE HERSELF FROM CASS-#WHICH THEN MAKES CASS SO DEVASTATED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE THE PERSON WHO ESSENTIALLY BIRTHED HER. AUAGHSHSJSBDN#yes. you understand.#anyways….idk being connected by mutual sacrifice and mutual love. THAT is the mother and daughter relationship that BG24 was getting at!!!!#this is where I shamelessly endorse CassCainMainly and their meta posts on Babs and Cass btw <333#cassandra cain#barbara gordon#lady shiva
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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wiress with cats.
#that’s it that’s the post#im kidding i’m going to rant in the tags now#wiress had a cat before her games who was a descendant of the cat her mother had. basically there’s a whole family tree for these cats.#and when her cat dies after she wins the cat already had three kittens.#beetee has beef with these cats. like i’m not kidding. the first time he came over and met them the original one scratched him#and he never got over it#wiress realizes that her cats literally hate him after a while and sits them down (the cats and beetee) for her version of an intervention#on one side are the cats and on the other is a grown man. they are both glaring at each other.#then wiress just leaves them there. like straight up just walks out.#beetee is very skeptical he doesn't think him staring at three cats who are glaring at him is going to solve their rivalry#and wiress is just like trust me on this and honestly beetee is just curious at this point. skeptical but curious.#(it works. beetee never questions wiress’ problem solving techniques again.)#the cats stop scratching him which in itself is a miracle. now it’s only when wiress turns away and they go back to glaring at each other.#idk something abt a guy who’s usually practical having beef with cats is really funny to me#also once they start dating and wiress starts spending the night at beetee’s house i feel the cats are like#“stop stealing mom” “where did mom go” “what did you do to her” and so now the cats hate beetee again.#it’s a vicious cycle#atlas (the first victor from three) also has cats but. he has like twenty. there’s so many cats. beetee is surrounded.#(he’s a dog person. he has never told wiress this. he’s kind of scared to.)#anyway i’m done#i promise i can be normal#sometimes#wiress#wiress thg#the hunger games#thg#district 3#beetee latier#dayne’s wiress thoughts (TM)#dayne’s beetee tag
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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3
Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao
Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???
Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE
My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me
please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4
#yeyarants#thousand autumns#qian qiu#shen qiao#yan wushi#yanshen#WHY IS HE SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND#i have been extremely freaked out over how Shen Qiao and I had the same thoughts regarding Yan Wushi#we basically on the same wavelength regarding him#I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL#I felt very neutral towards him when I finished volume 1#then extreme hatred and betrayal towards him in volume 2#and now I feel sad and hopeful that he’s ok because he literally turned himself in help me idk what to feel#YAN WUSHI IS IN LOVE FUCK#I wanted to get volume 5 of erha and volume 3 of yuwu#…but now I need volume 4 of qian qiu#I LOVE SHEN QIAO BUT OMG THE TURMOIL I FEEL REGARDING YAN WUSHI IS SO CONFUSING#DO I LIKE HIM OR NOT IDK#BUT I WANT TO KNOW IF HES OK#*point at Yan Wushi* you sir are a complicated enigma#and I need to know wtf is going inside your brain#I’m so confused I would have been fine hating him but now I feel like a concerned mother wondering where her child is#yan wushi the man that you are#meng xi shi#I can’t read erha or yuwu because I have become invested in this shit HELP ME#I NEED TO KNOW#YAN WUSHI ARE YOU OK???#im gonna reblog shit after once I’m done because I did not want to know any sorts of spoilers
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conundrum.
#mine#told mum I'd be switching over to a new apartment w roomie and she said she would not come over ever for any reason#bc roomie makes her uncomfortable#and I was like ''ok''#which made her angrier ofc so she started going on abt how I should be considerate abt other ppl's feelings#so I brought up the time I told her a pastor made me uncomfortable and how every future instance I had w that man turned into#public entertainment for the entire church to laugh at#so like. .. I think she can just deal w it#unlike child me.. she has the agency to just. . not be around the cause of discomfort#and her not coming over would be a useful practice run for me to figure out how I'd get around on my own bc#as I've told her many times#I do not plan on staying here forever#the conundrum is that mum has the emotional regulation of a highly reactive guarddog and multiple stress-induced disabilities#so her heart could actually give out (again) or she could suffer amnesia (again)#grandma says it's no big deal if we had separate apartments and that's technically true but I Don't Want That#mum says I'm choosing roomie over her then switched to I'm choosing roomie over myself#she said that I need to be alone and do things myself in order to cure my depression#but she also begged me to just choose a different roommate so I'm not sure what she truly believes#the simple fix would be to just move out alone but I rly rly rly just don't want to#I like my alone time but I also like roomie being there#plus what's the point of paying rent for my own space if I'm still subjected to my mother's wants
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Maybe the truth at the heart of Shadowstruck is the importance of family. Because the most compelling stories in this universe are about what happens when you tell parents that some of their children have no right to their love, care, and protection. It destroys what should be the strongest and most natural bonds of love, and that simple horrible thing leads to all the complicated problems in their oppressive society.
#adventures in writing#shadowstruck#got to thinking about this yesterday while reading something talking about the family's importance to society#maybe something about how a child is under a family's loving care until they can take care of themself#and it made me think about how both of the main story ideas that have sprung from this universe#are about someone who suffers when a father deems them unworthy of love#and that got me thinking about how 'uncle tom's cabin' turned people against slavery#largely because victorians valued the family and the book showed how slavery tore families apart#so maybe i should read 'uncle tom's cabin' just as background#but anyway if i decide to do something with the original version of 'shadowstruck'#the compelling thing is not whatever political intrigue was going to happen (which I never defined)#but the possibility that rinna would cross paths with the family that sold her into slavery#meet the younger sister who was given her name#literally her replacement#meet the father who made the decision not to kill her#but also sold her away from the house to avoid the shame that would have come#from people recognizing her as his child#i can't decide if he'd meet her in a slavery context#and have to live with seeing the life he condemned her to#or if she'd be involved with activists at this point#in a position of at least some level of freedom and safety#and he would see her as a woman with thoughts and feelings#(who looks so much like her mother)#and on some level recognize that he did a horrible thing to her#but how do you begin to go about apologizing or helping her#or in any way mending this horrible unforgivable thing that tore you apart?#the trouble about this universe (like so many of my other ones)#is that there's the potential for so many little stories and characters#that don't necessarily want to resolve themselves into full coherent novels#it gives me so many thoughts that it's hard to settle on a complete story
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Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Sydney Song: Spiracle by Flower Face Content warnings: Blood, death, violence, spiders, insects, flashing lights
#aliasedit#alias#sydney bristow#julian sark#sark x sydney#ssplus#fanvid#myedit#s/s dares to ask a question#what if your mother created a killing machine and that machine was obsessed with you BECAUSE it's your mother who made him.#like it's a part of his code your mother designed. or not code - but because he learned everything about the world by watching her.#like the only kind of humanity your mother allowed him - the only kind of humanity left after she was done with him - was this.#because it's the only kind of humanity she allowed to herself.#to not ever be completely sure if your mother ever loved you and then learn something like this?#what if your mother's killing machine grew up hearing stories about you.#what if your mother's killing machine looked up to you as a child and wanted to make your mother proud just like you did.#what if your mother's killing machine learned about your existence a full decade before the two of you met.#what if your mother's killing machine was conditioned to love you.#what if your mother on purpose designed her killing machine to be flawed. to have a weakness that shouldn't be there.#from her words all to protect you. and what if one day her plan backfired.#what if one day your mother's killing machine turned against your mother for you. turned against his creator for you.#what if your mother's secret plan worked A LITTLE BIT TOO WELL and she lost control over you both. what then. literally what then!!!!!!!#also i don't think we talk enough about that scene in conscious where in sydney's dream jack turns into sark's father.#what if i dreamed my father was your father. what if you said my mother was like your mother. what exactly does that make us.#and what if we also shared a name. what if a part of me - the part i feared the most - had your name.#while working on this realized also that i want a fic where every day for months sydney sees a ghost of someone sark killed.#it's always someone different. and at some point it starts to feel like it's never going to end.#the ghosts will be right there with her for the rest of her life. as always i just want#some sydney introspection and sydney grappling with the idea that her own mother turned a human being into THIS.#which goes along with facing the fact that it could have been her on his place.
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♟️🐈⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot
#♟️ 🖇️ 🐈⬛#🐈⬛ 🖇️ 🐈⬛#grim 'i'm not a kid! i'm basically the same age as the other guys!' of w.akanda#its ok grim i fall victim to kids tv to 😔#anyways#i think. when they get older (maybe way prior to when they get married) elvira presents grim to her Mother and is like 'look at him! you've#accepted him as your son for over fifty years! he has been my son for longer. you should totally let me and leona skip having kids since we#both only agreed on one'#and then her Mother is like 'lmao i love both of you but i am a fertility goddess for a reason so :)'#and boom the twins and then they're done#i dont think they get married until after their kids are grown though#there's def some pressure from his family but hers really dgaf lmao#besides i think after a certain point it gets to where hes spending 85% of his time in the multiverse and its somewhat better over there#(ignoring that it is. in fact. a m.arvel universe.)#he goes back to t.wst one day n gets hit with the 'well well well look what the monkey dragged in' and he immediately responds with 'i dont#want to be here. my gf and her family forced me to leave for my own safety or wtv'#anyways.#🐅 🖇️ 🌬️ 🖇️ 🐍 🖇️ 🐈⬛#i love the idea of the lesbians (aave-l) including leona in their relationship despite him being a Man#i think the transition into him being apart of the relationship was as seamless as it was for him n elvira to finally get together#in terms of accepting him i think it was elvira -> aimil -> valentine -> ainya -> leilani (after some time)#(leilani tried to kill him multiple times i just know)#they all go back to t.wst with him one day and someone turns to leona and is like 'wow. you sure have been collecting some lovers'#'actually i haven't. we're more like their (elvira and aimil's) lovers. they've been collecting us like strays' because is he wrong?#i think the only thing that sets them apart is that while aave-l are married in the eyes of the gods. he's not#bc. yh. while his lifespan is extended greatly. its because of radiation exposure#he hasnt died or been reborn/resusitated by any of them and i think they'd rather keep it that way lmao#they also def keep his phantom around for funsies lmao#elvira 'yeah i kinda kept some of their phantoms cause they looked so sad they were gonna disappear :( they've been living with me on#ramshackle grounds n helping out so maybe they could help out here' of w.akanda
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i gave you a life
#TAKING NOTES#in contrast to the hollstein story which is fairly complete theres MUCH to dive into here#'you used to worship me'#im definitely mentally comparing to the early travelling years of tecteun and the child#i dont think it's said or even implied in the show -maybe the book contradicts it- but i do think mother was involved in carmillas murder#like i think she goes around and when she finds someone suitable she turns them and recruits them#basically what happened with danny right?#and she was murdered by the zetas im not sure if they were already working for the dean at that point#but i wouldnt be surprised if that was and still sometimes is her mo#see someone she likes. someone malleable someone useful someone young and pretty who would be good at seducing sacrifices#and have them killed so she can swoop in the saviour#wait oh my god it was her BIRTHDAY?? thats so sad oh my god#in the movie it sounds a bit like thats the first rebirthday they celebrate but im just gonna headcanon laura did that from the first year#and that that just becomes her birthday bc her actual birthday was also her death day and kind of depressing#and then when carmilla turns vampire again they probably keep that one#carmillaposting
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Syrax roaring when rhaenyra finds her son's remains omg......
#fucking criston saying rhaenyra got him and alicent in her web..... ajdksjsk we know what he means by himself so alicent....#also alicent lightning a candle for lucerys.... and his funeral... omg#god.... also joffrey burning his toy..... enough#what got me was jace talking to rhaenyra about the war stats before breaking down... god....#aemond is a psycho for reals also#like otto seems well measured in comparison#uh he is maleficent. comparing him to his brother bc he knows he wants to feel superior akdhakaj#and like aemond is enduring all these inpulses talk when he knows it was a mistake beyond his control at that point#but he wont admit it bc thay makes him incompetent then. crazy#also poor helaena.... she just keeps having visions of terrible things but can't stop them....#she hesitated if he should go to aegon or aemond but went to her mother (which not the best moment but well)#i knew she wouldnt lie bc if the boy turns out like aegon well....#oof what an episode#and fuck daemon goddamn#talking tag#watching hotd#god now we just have to see everything go down........... what a tragedy#and only the women suffer!!! (and the bastard sons)
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im so fucking mad at myself and my stupid fucking coping mechanisms and that it took me this fucking long to realise im a people pleaser and not only that but the most pathetic kind - the kind that doesnt *actually* manage to please anyone lol
#im so pissed today for no reason#it is toxic it is manipulative and none of it is actually what i want but oh well. guess mom was right lol#or maybe it IS the direct effect of her regularly telling me im evil and a monster (which are NOT words people use in real day to day life#like please lol and lmao but that's what you get when your mother's a stage actress)#so maybe my whole modus operandi now is trying desperately to prove to people that i am nice and kind and understanding#and that you can trust me and turn to me for help and i will do my silly little terminator like psychoanalysis of what you need the most#and try to give it to you until it exhausts me to the point where i completely withdraw and alienate myself#but at that point its already too late for either of us :)#see i can do it myself i dont need a therapist to tell me that. have fun on your vacation babygirl.#ill still be the worst person ever when you come back <33333#anyway. huh. what a day huh (its 2pm)#anyway as cartoonish edgy emo dementia raven way as it sounds. i really need to stop letting people get close to me.#surface level fun casual 'friendship' or dont bother.
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Literally every piece of cookware/dish that has ever been devised in the history of mankind: You can wash me with soap and water!
Cast iron skillet: tehe 🤭 soap and water? I guess that's fine if you like your steak rusty haha 🙈 I can only be washed with salt and oil and lemon and spit or I will immediately die haha so just spit on me okay spit on me and make me clean, mommy 🤗🥵😏💦👅👅👅
Me:
#original#and that is why (despite red meat being the only food i really excel at when cooking) i will never own another cast iron skillet#trick cookware that's what it is!#tryin to trick The Old Jack at his own game!!! the game of LIFE!!!! 😤😤😤#cast iron skillet#cooking#if it can't be put in the dishwasher then it's not meant for food or for this family#I don't agree with a lot of things my mother taught me growing up but I agreed with that as a child and I stand by it more than ever XD#I don't care at all if other people have them. I don't have to wash those.#mom has also always insisted on never owning dishes that can't go in the microwave#and with the exception of her fine china this was pretty much always the case. I don't have china i have no exceptions#the day i buy china is the day i am rich and out of things to spend money on it is just not a thing that i care for personally#do other places call all expensive sets of dishware china? as far as i can tell that is how my fam uses it#china plates are like. the special occasion fancy plates.#I just looked it up and it turns out china plates are made of something called bone china which is made using bones#or sometimes it's just porcelain#anyway my point is all my fuckin plates are paper or plastic cause i got no class and even less coordination!#i think that was my point lol. it doesn't matter#shitpost
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Hello, Peregrine 4 for the WIP Wednesday ask game please!
Also, what's this about a dnd character's Inigo Montoya speech? That sounds awesome, you should work on that too.
3 minutes of editing done! Here's the first three sentences of Snorri's Inigo Montoya speech!
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You don't know me. But you know my mother. Or rather, you knew my mother.
#auburnlaughter#my writing#WIP Wednesdays#thank you!!#dnd#context is that Snorri is a dragonborn bard following in the footsteps of her mother who was the founding member and inspiration for a grou#of adventurers who made it big - but only after an accident had made her lose her voice and they just kinda...left her by the wayside#so my character's motivation to start adventuring was in part to show up the Golden Company#once he found out they were still alive...well. Also I should say there's apparently only one of them still alive.#The lich told us so. and I think we can trust him on that#the lich is terrified of them btw#like turned everyone into an undead army levels of terrified#and tbf the company just got...up/downgraded from 'careless assholes who cause problems on accident as high-level parties are wont to do'#to 'malicious egomaniacs who were probably making a grab for total control of the island'#and at least one of them - the one who is still alive(?) - was working with the evil god who's been causing problems#also! there's like a 50% chance he's Snorri's father! because my DM asked me 'hey what's Snorri's relationship with her dad?'#'uh not much of one he wasn't really around most of the time.'#'Cool! Snorri never knew their dad. Don't worry about it.'#so naturally I (not Snorri) have been VERY WORRIED ABOUT IT ever since#it's great. he's only just gotten to the point where she *might* not stab him on sight (or try to. we're only level 3)#and him turning out to be her dad wouldn't change anything. It's going to be great#he might not be though! who knows what steve is planning! certainly not me!!
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#replaying legends arceus really makes me look in disdain at what the fandom did to some of the characters....#u guys turned kamado into the Worst Guy Ever and the villain in like. every fic. meanwhile everyone writes cyllene as protags mother figure#while in game shes reminding u every five seconds that u take one wrong move and she will throw u to ur death#one of her lines literally boils down to if you get incapacitated by a wild Pokémon we'll revoke ur food and shelter lol#and thus far in my replay kamado hasbt threatened me with death at all#yes i know he banishes u but up until that point he is much less on ur case than cyllene lmao#we don't even have to speak about volo u all know what u did to him
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