#turned to her mother and pointed at me

[stupid-elf]

To be totally clear, I'm cis. I do not have a trans perspective (aside from fully 40+% of my friend group being trans. Idk how this happened).

However, I am very neurodivergent and don't have an intuitive understanding of fashion, so I very deliberately went about sussing out the rules. This is helpful when people ask questions like this. I'm no fashion student, but every fashion student I've met annoyed the fuck out of me.

Anyway. Point is. Any aesthetic can pass (short of, like, Clearly Femme Aesthetics). Punk, emo, for lack of a better term Hallmark Primary Love Interest, academia, softcore, goth, Greek life, generic, perpetual office casual, wizard.

I don't know their real names in the fashion world. I just know how people wear them.

Also. There is always a danger of being coded as butch. Idk how to escape it. Hell, I'm literally cis amab and have been mistaken for a butch lesbian back when I had long hair. The most passing way to respond to that is to laugh like it's a funny mistake nobody who actually knows you would make (like guys with BDE hearing a small dick joke)

Anyway here's the tips and tricks that come to mind

Avoid visibly afab things (duh, but it needs to be said). The inventor of hoodies was a fucking genius. Now we just need to bring back the cloak.

So fucking much of passing is vocal. A close friend who would need a fucking industrial vice to hide his chest passes 100% of the time because T made him sound like Optimus Prime. I have a stupidly wide natural vocal register, it's basically whatever pitch I last tried to match/approximating the last voice I heard (neurodivergent). When my voice is high I, again cis amab, get mistaken for a woman. There's tons of handy voice training tricks for this. I know several simple ones if you'd like, but this reblog is long asf already and there's professional tutorials out there

All the fashion modes have a way that gender exists within them. It's usually about where their signature features are clustered. Spikes, lace, flannel, yk? Guys tend to accentuate shoulders and knees, gals tend to accentuate wrists, mid-arms, and torso. Some fashions are built around challenging that so there's a level of caution necessary there.

Honestly learn from women-coded men and men-coded women. What are they doing? Facial expressions, body language, and vocal qualities, mostly. Short of wearing a dress clothing is pretty androgynous on its own these days. Collars are still pretty masc coded. Love me a good flannel with a collar.

Oh, this one's sneaky and just occurred to me. Look like you shop in the men's section. Men's clothing tends to be better constructed. Thicker fabrics, longer-lasting/heavier-duty seams. It should look like it makes a noise when you drop it on a table. There's a cost component here though :/

Fuck it we ball, I hope something in here helps. Take what you like, leave the rest. Cheers brother 🍻

obviously most of you lot have never seen my face (nor will u) so im taking any responses w a grain of salt.

but how the Fuck do i dress as a trans guy whos 5'2 bc i can pass (if i dress like a fratboy) but i dont love dressing like a fratboy. how do i do it. passing is of key importance. gosh. i hate it here

[mohntilyet]

illario as the grandchild that is most like caterina is something i'm loving to chew on. the grandson that took her lessons to heart the most. kill anyone who sees your face and knows your name, "we are not revolutionaries", the first out of the two to prioritise the contract. power at any cost, and the only one to lean into the unnecessary abuse that their grandmother told them was tradition. why is anyone surprised he allied with the venatori? and then there's illario's considerable skill in infiltration and manipulating any mark, he has always had the charisma that lucanis lacked. illario isn't attached, he has/can/will use someone and immediately drop them; "that does free me from promises i don't intend to keep". he can lie about how much he cares so well that he fools a magister into believing he loves her. he kills zara without hesitation to cover his own tracks, meanwhile lucanis blindly promises a young girl in the middle of a siege that he will help her find her father. even the lessons about family stick with him, and in this entire messy power struggle, he never actually orders anyone to directly kill caterina or lucanis, not until he's backed into a corner.

and even after all that. despite even lucanis believing illario should be first talon, lucanis is still the better killer. illario is not strong enough to be the brutal assassin caterina needs him to be. so when lucanis seems to fill the role his mother left, grief and love for her dead heir apparent remains, and any of the other qualities caterina needs in her next talon doesn't matter. whatever his mother was, lucanis has to be. what illario does doesn't matter, because he will always be second best to caterina's memory of her favored daughter.

[crittertalez]

berryheart getting a comparatively happy end where sunbeam is satisfied to know berryheart despite being a horrible fascist loved her (and not any other family member) and all of berryhearts remaining family come together to bury here as sunbeam thinks about wishing berryheart was still alive while curlfeather is reduced to just stubborn and power hungry and unwilling to even apologize to frostpaw/dawn is just so. so

erin hunters' vc i can excuse fascism but i draw the line at atheism

[skibasyndrome]

.

[vigilskeep]

I know you went into this briefly before. But truly. HOW INSANE adding a child into the Isabelamance arranged marriage Hawke.

Is the child expected to inherit? Does it remove potential matches Hawke could have had, potentially making the fiance lower on the social ladder than Hawke?? The implications?? Does Isabela even LIKE the kid??? What if the kid gets seasick. What then. How does no attachments no complications Isabela allow herself to fall in love with THE most attached man in Thedas.

AND THE KID WOULD BE OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE AGENCY AND OPINIONS AND AND SHIT IN ACT 3 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAJHHH

making this woman the not-stepmother to a kid growing up in a hightown estate just to feel something

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[faaun]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

[yeyayeya]

Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3

Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao

Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???

Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE

My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me

please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4

[bookshelf-in-progress]

Maybe the truth at the heart of Shadowstruck is the importance of family. Because the most compelling stories in this universe are about what happens when you tell parents that some of their children have no right to their love, care, and protection. It destroys what should be the strongest and most natural bonds of love, and that simple horrible thing leads to all the complicated problems in their oppressive society.

[thefloatingwriter]

wiress with cats.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Hawke: You knew my grandparents? Elthina: I dedicated your mother into the Chantry. She was a beautiful baby. Your grandmother was a very proper lady, but she was beside herself that day. And your mother put a fist in my eye.

Suddenly I like Leandra a little bit more. I mean, who hasn't wanted to put a fist in Elthina's eye at some point during da2?

"Excuse me, Grand Cleric Elthina, a templar used your official seal to get away with kidnapping and murdering qunari." "Ah, well, the Maker will figure it out. The Chantry is a gentle mother who knows her children learn best when allowed to learn themselves."

"Hey, Elthina, the templars are abusing mages. They're forcing tranquility onto them for minor things, which is against the law, and it's only getting worse. Can't you do something?" "It's not my place to decide who is right, but the Maker will eventually."

"Damn it, Elthina, my mother and several other women were murdered by an actually dangerous blood mage because the templars and city guard couldn't be bothered to do their jobs!" "Ah, I'm sorry, that's so unfortunate. May your mother find a place at the Maker's side."

"ELTHINA the qunari beheaded the Viscount and now Meredith has taken complete control over Kirkwall and is looking for any excuse to annul the entire Circle with her Andraste complex, will you PLEASE do something to stop her before more people die??" "Hmmm, I see, but no. The Maker's time isn't man's time, we have no need to rush."

"Listen, you useless moron, you need to leave Kirkwall because shit's about to go down." "No, I will not leave. Who would hurt me? I'm Grand Cleric."

Even as a baby, Leandra knew this lady was an awful person. This is why you got blown up, Elthina.

[lovelornnobodyknows]

.

[itshomobirb]

> cat's urinary episode probably caused by stress

> both my parents left for a vacation earlier this week

> the implication that my cat got stressed out from my parents leaving

> which includes my mother, who has [redacted] me and is abusive and just Not a Nice Person

> my mother, who finds fault in litcherally everything i do for the cats. and even if i give in and do what she wants... several months later, she's complaining again

> swapped their litter several months ago to pine pellets. they've adapted nicely. their litter is fine. also doesn't track everywhere (something my mother complained about for MONTHS with their previous litter)

> my mother, unprompted: did the vet say that maybe this could be caused by their new litter?

i fucking hate her.

[hyrulesfav]

♟️🐈‍⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot

[bmpmp3]

its important to watch a new movie or read a new book sometimes. largely because 1) its nice to experience all the art this world has to offer but also 2) you might be able to find new scenarios to imagine your OCs in

[juliareed]

Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Sydney Song: Spiracle by Flower Face Content warnings: Blood, death, violence, spiders, insects, flashing lights