#turkey claus
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In preparation of the first day of Winter, I finally got to jump in on the holiday trend. You know, just for the birds at least!
Turkey Claus (right) and his loyal penguin elf companion (left) are waving at the viewer (That's you!) while feeling extremely excited to deliver all the carefully requested gifts for every good boy and good girl on Christmas morning. Just as long it isn't bird eggs, then they'll have a really big problem.
#Procreate#Turkey#Penguin#Anthropomorphic#Bird#Turkey Claus#Penguin Elf#Santa Claus#Elf#Snowman#Snow#First day of Winter
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Bro what’s going on in Spain and the Netherlands
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Christmas/Father's Day/Birthday artwork made for our dad
#christmas#santa claus#robot#giant robot#superhero#superpowers#christmas trees#sci-fi#cartoon#my art#mashed potatoes#gravy#food#turkey#gingerbread#gingerbread man#cookie#christmas cookies#peppermint#candy cane
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Pages 10 & 11 of a 11 page advertising Christmas time cookbook bound in the Reader's Digest December 1972
#vintage ad#vintage ads#advertising#advertisment#recipes#recipe pamphlet#santa claus#christmas#turkey#dessert#ephemera
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🎄📯🎄‘Santa Claus ‘with Christmas toys on a sled drawn by white turkeys. 📯🎄📯
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Seam ripper; noun; A tool used for picking or ripping out sewing stitches.
Ewe; noun; A female sheep.
#my art#mother 3#claus mother 3#azura fe#smash family#smash bros au#all they ever wanted to do together was hunt a turkey#yes i forgot what a sheep looks like. no i’m not redrawing it#doodles
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Books I've Read in 2024
Number 48
Mrs. Claus and the Trouble With Turkeys by Liz Ireland
#books2024#mrs claus and the trouble with turkeys#mrs claus#trouble with turkeys#santaland mystery#liz ireland#4 stars
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The story of Santa Claus | St. Nicholas
The story of Santa Claus begins with a man named Nicholas, who was born in the village of Patara in Asia Minor during the third century. The area was Greek at the time, but now it is on the southern coast of Turkey. His wealthy parents raised Nicholas to be a devout Christian, but they died in an epidemic while he was still young. Following Jesus’ words to “sell what you own and give the money to…
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#christian#christmas#culture#gifts#greece#history#legend#myra#nicholas#saint#santa#santa claus#story#travel#turkey
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#chirstmas#st nicholas#santa claus#mithras#winter solstice#st boniface#turkey#goose#capon#bethlehem#henry viii#mince pies#christmas trees#mistletoe#holly#queen charlotte#prince albert#st lucia#bishop of myra#3rd century#cromwell#Bandcamp
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Stuart the Red-Beaked turkey Had a very shiny beak And when the people saw him They killed him and ate him with stuffing and cranberry sauce
1920′s Santa’s sleigh pulled by two turkeys in Three Oaks, Michigan. From Images of Yore, FB.
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Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
Summary: Thanksgiving brings back memories of happier times, and all you want is to recreate the past. But when those plans go awry, Eddie--and Harris, of course--are there to help you look forward to the future.
Warnings: mentions of Eddie's parents, brief familial conflict, Reader's grandma has dementia, most of this chapter is fluffy tbh
WC: 6.8k
Chapter 8/20
Scruffy!Eddie edit credit to @vexed-n-hexed Divider credit to @saradika
Thanksgiving, 1975
The sound of the kitchen timer beeping draws nine-year-old Eddie Munson’s attention from the television set. The local news network had been replaying the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on a loop. It was now the third time that Eddie had watched Santa Claus make his way into Herald Square in a comically oversized sleigh, but he couldn’t get enough of it. The colorful balloons that hovered over the crowd, the marching bands playing in perfect unison, the feeling of excitement in the air—it was palpable all the way from his new home in Hawkins, Indiana.
“Dinner’s ready,” Wayne announces, grabbing the worn mitt off of the counter and pulling two TV dinners from the oven. “‘S not much, but at least we got turkey and mashed potatoes,” he bashfully adds.
Eddie nods, trying to walk without taking his eyes off of the screen.
Wayne’s bushy brows pinch together as he watches his nephew. “You always get this into the parade?” he asks.
“Never seen it before,” Eddie says softly. His parents had had a TV for a couple of years until they’d pawned it, but he doesn’t recall ever watching a parade. “Pretty cool.”
“We can keep it on while we eat, if ya want,” Wayne tells him, smiling when he sees the boy’s face light up. He places the plastic trays on the snack table and heads back to grab forks. “Ya got a favorite balloon? I’m partial to Snoopy, if y’ask me.”
Eddie nods, still transfixed on the TV. “Yeah, Snoopy’s good. I like him.” He takes the utensil from Wayne’s outstretched hand, absentmindedly dipping it in the congealed mashed potatoes. He pauses for a beat before bringing it to his lips. “Do I have to go back?”
“Hm?” Wayne mumbles, too focused on his own food to fully hear him.
“Do I have to go back with them when they get out?” Eddie repeats, keeping his voice low and training his gaze on the floor. “‘Cause I like it better here. With you. ‘S nice and quiet.”
There’s a lurch in Wayne’s chest at Eddie’s request. “Technically, I only have ya till your folks are sprung,” he admits, scratching a nail against the table, “but I can talk to a lawyer or somethin’ about keeping you here longer. Only if you want,” he adds.
“I wanna stay here,” Eddie confirms, spearing a pale turkey slice and popping it in his mouth without any attempt to cut it. “If it’s okay with you. I can sleep on the cot an’ you can take your bed back.”
Wayne shakes his head. “Room’s yours, Ed.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t wanna promise you that the courts will agree to it, but I’m gonna try my damndest to keep you safe.” And it’s true. He’ll work double overtime at the plant if it’ll cover legal fees. When the social worker dropped Eddie off last week, Wayne had no idea how either of them would adjust. But aside from a few growing pains—like having to shave his nephew’s head when they’d discovered he’d had lice—things seemed to be alright.
“I, um, I wrote something at school yesterday,” Eddie pipes up, traipsing to his backpack and pulling out a sheet of paper. In his sloppy, boyish handwriting is written:
I am thankful for my Uncle Wayne because he takes care of me. He’s really nice and he works hard and he doesn’t mind that I listen to loud music. He also lets me feed my dinner scraps to the stray dogs in his trailer park. My Uncle Wayne is the best. I hope he’s thankful for me, too.
Wayne feels his throat constrict, and he clears it before Eddie can catch on. “‘Course I’m thankful for ya, Ed,” he manages. He reaches out to put his hand on his nephew’s back, flinching when the boy jerks away nervously. Eddie’s reflex to defend himself rather than embrace touch stirs up a reserved anger Wayne didn’t know he had, and he wills himself to simmer down before his nephew can sense it, lest he think he’s angry at him.
He slowly brings his hand to the couch cushion, careful not to make too much noise. We’ll get there, he thinks as the parade starts up for a fourth time. We’ll get there.
Thanksgiving, 1978
Ten years old is a strange age.
Too old to play with the little kids, but too young to hang around the teenagers or adults. You’re just kind of…there, like a piece of furniture that everyone absently walks around. This hiss of beer cans opening is barely audible over the men shouting at the football game on TV. You don’t know who’s playing, and you don’t really care, but it’s the only place you feel like you’ll be out of the way. Taking a seat on the floor, you remain there generally unnoticed until one of your uncles calls out your name.
“Couldja get me a refill?” Uncle Tim slurs, shaking his empty can of Bud Light to emphasize his request. Before you can respond, he throws a, “thanks, kid” and goes back to yelling at the football players.
It’s not like they can hear you through the screen, you snidely think, but you keep your comment to yourself as you pad into the kitchen. A collection of spices tickles your nose, the mixture of cloves and garlic and thyme and rosemary warming the room. You rummage through the refrigerator until you feel someone bump up against you.
“What are you doing in there?” Your aunt asks, disapproval carving her already sharp features. Her gaze drops to the can in your hand. “Seriously? Trying to sneak beer right in front of us?” she scoffs.
Grandma quickly becomes aware of the commotion, and she wipes her hand on her sunny yellow apron as she assesses the situation. “Everything okay?” Her soft eyes are concerned, not accusing, and you feel your anxiety slowly dissipating.
“I caught her trying to steal some beer,” your aunt reports proudly, as though she’s caught some serial offender, and you have to fight the urge to roll your eyes. “Not even a teenager yet and already getting into this kind of trouble.” She shakes her head with a tsk.
“No, I wasn’t,” you insist, setting your jaw in defiance. “Uncle Tim asked me to get some more for him. That’s all.”
“Tim!” Grandma calls out, tone thick with irritation. “Get over here!”
Uncle Tim trudges out to the kitchen, head already hung low in anticipation of the tongue-lashing he’s about to receive. He may be a grown man, but his mother can easily put him in his place.
Grandma folds her arms across her chest. “Why are you having your niece fetch your drinks like a barmaid? Your legs broken or something?”
“No,” he mumbles, taking the beer from your hand and haphazardly tossing a “sorry” in your direction before returning to the game.
“C’mere,” Grandma beckons you, crooking her finger to join her at the counter. She’s got a bowl of Granny Smith apples, half of them peeled, their green skins piling on the cutting board in front of her. She hands you the peeler, picking up a sharp knife and cutting a peeled apple lengthwise and cubing each slice. “Help me out. It goes a lot faster when there’s two of us. And it’ll keep you out of trouble,” she adds with a wink.
You grab an unpeeled apple from the pile and drag the tool down its curve, repeating the motion until the inner fruit is exposed before starting on the next one. You and Grandma work in tandem; you peel and she chops in a comfortable silence. As you’re finishing up the last of the bunch, she leans over and whispers in your ear, “Don’t tell anyone, but you’re the best helper I’ve ever had.” She starts placing the cubed pieces into a pot, shaking the cinnamon container over it until she takes a satisfied step back, no measuring spoon required. “Mix it together for me?”
You nod eagerly and pluck the wooden spoon from the canister behind the sink, dunking it into the pot and stirring until the apples are fully coated in cinnamon. “That good?” you ask, giving another stir for good measure.
“Perfect.” Grandma smiles, covering the mixture with water and setting it on an empty burner, twisting the knob until the coil turns red. “Once it softens up, you can mash it. Give these old arms a break,” she teases gently.
“You’re not old!” you protest, and she smacks a kiss to the top of your head.
“I love you, kiddo,” she murmurs, voice muffled against your scalp. “To the moon and back.”
You wrap your arms around her waist and squeeze her tight. “I love you, too. To the moon and back.”
Thanksgiving, 1996
“Daddy, look! It’s Santa!” Harris points at the TV excitedly, bouncing up and down on the couch. He kicks his feet and squeals. “He’s gonna come to our house, right? An’ bring me presents?”
Eddie chuckles as he spreads mayonnaise on white bread, layering thin turkey slices on top. Three sandwiches for three Munsons. “I dunno, Har-Bear; have you been good this year?”
Harris scrunches up his face in contemplation. “Um, I think so,” he answers honestly. “I can’t remember.”
“Hey, Wayne?” Eddie calls out as his uncle walks out of the bathroom. “Has Harris been good this year? I feel like he’s been a bit…mischievous.”
Wayne shakes his head. “My angel of a grandson? He’s never caused mischief a day in his little life!” He sits down next to Harris, letting out a small grunt as his bottom hits the sofa cushion.
“Yeah! I never cause mischief a day in my little life!” Harris echoes confidently. He turns to his grandfather. “Grampa, what is Santa gonna bring you for Christmas?”
“A toupée,” Eddie says from the tiny kitchen, piling their plates with potato chips. Normally, he’d make sure there was a fruit or vegetable on there, but it’s a holiday.
Wayne has to hold his tongue in front of the impressionable young boy, though he shoots Eddie an inconspicuous middle finger when he’s setting the plates on the coffee table.
The three Munsons tuck into their sandwiches and crunch on the chips. This is how Thanksgiving has been since Eddie moved back with Harris: watching the parade followed by an early lunch so Wayne could pick up a shift at the plant. He always insisted on it, saying that the holiday pay helps offset the cost of Christmas presents. It was quiet, but nice, and Eddie couldn’t ask for anything else.
“Y’know,” Wayne says to Harris with a mouthful of sandwich, “the first time your Daddy watched the parade was with me. And now, we got to watch it with you.” He bumps his arm against Harris’s, making the boy giggle.
“Oh, yeah,” Eddie muses, chomping on a potato chip thoughtfully as the memories flood back in. “Forgot about that. Is Snoopy still your favorite, Old Man?”
Wayne considers this. “Hmm. Who’s our favorite balloon this year, Har?”
“Clifford!” Harris answers without missing a beat, kicking his little legs in excitement. Eddie should’ve known; the boy was damn near obsessed with dogs.
Once we can afford a house with a yard, I’m getting you that puppy, Har-Bear, he thinks, though he doesn’t dare make the promise aloud.
“Then that’s mine, too.” Wayne brushes the crumbs off of his lap, calloused hands scratching the worn denim of his jeans. There’s a twinkle in his eye as he adds, “I wonder what Ms. Sweetheart’s favorite balloon is.” He acts like he’s speaking to Harris, but Eddie knows it was aimed at him.
Harris claps his hands together gleefully. “I know! Let’s call her!” He turns to Eddie with the sweetest puppy-dog eyes the man has ever seen, lower lip jutted out exaggeratedly in the most precious pout. “Please, Daddy? Pleasepleasepleaseplease–”
“Okay, okay,” Eddie says with a laugh, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “Once you finish up lunch, we can call her.” Harris opens his mouth to protest that he wants to call right now, but Eddie cuts him off before he can start. “Ah ah; no whining, or we won’t call.”
Harris harrumphs but ultimately complies, taking another bite of his food. Wayne gives Eddie a small thumbs-up, and he preens slightly at the acknowledgment of his parenting win. They didn’t happen very often, and they rarely happened when someone was around to witness them. He takes a long gulp of water; as soon as he does, his son lifts his own cup to his lips and takes a sip. Another reminder that he’s watching, even subconsciously, wanting to be just like his dad.
For a split second, Eddie allows himself to believe that that might not be a bad thing.
“‘M done!” Harris chirps; sure enough, his plate is clean, save for the bread crusts. He squirms a bit in his seat, a gesture that Eddie has come to learn means only one thing.
“Go pee while I find her number,” Eddie tells him, purposely omitting the fact that he’s already committed those seven digits to memory. In case of an emergency, he thinks, and I don’t have the slip of paper on me.
Wayne can sense that his nephew isn’t being completely truthful; as soon as Harris closes the bathroom door behind him, he starts in with a shit-eating grin.
“Y’don’t need to find her number, do ya?”
Eddie flicks off an imaginary speck of dust on his shirts. “Knock it off, Wayne.” But he doesn’t move from his spot on the couch, further affirming his uncle’s point.
“Look, Ed,” Wayne exhales, adopting a more serious tone. “You clearly like this girl. I mean, all Harris did was say her name and you smiled–don’t give me that look,” he chastises lightly when Eddie rolls his eyes. “I know you two didn’t exactly get off on the right foot, but all that seems to be in the past now, right?”
“Guess so,” Eddie mumbles. “But not hating me doesn’t mean she’s into me. Maybe she’s only being nice to me because of Harris.”
The older Munson pauses, scratching at the stubble on his cheeks; his reflex when he’s deep in thought. “One date,” he challenges, holding up his forefinger to emphasize his point. “Ask her on one date, and see where it goes.”
“Fine,” Eddie relents, the nerves already churning in his stomach. You’d just found this good rhythm together, and he was going to risk messing it up. Again. “I’ll ask her. But on one condition.”
“Whas’ that?”
“Don’t say anything to Harris.” He crosses his arms over his chest when Wayne chuckles. “‘M serious, Wayne. I don’t want him getting his hopes up. For Chrissakes, I gave her a tape and the kid had us getting married.”
“Fair enough,” Wayne agrees, clamping his mouth shut when he sees the little boy enter the room. “You wash your hands?”
“Yep!”
“With soap?” he presses, narrowing his eyes.
Harris heaves an impatient sigh. “Yes! Can we call now?”
Both Wayne and Harris keep their eyes glued to Eddie as he punches in the numbers. When it starts ringing, he holds out the receiver to his son. “Say hi and your name when she picks up,” he reminds him, grateful for the opportunity to collect himself before asking you on a date. He takes a deep breath, shoving his hands in his pockets and gnawing on his lower lip so forcefully that he swears it might bleed.
You got this, Munson. The worst she can say is no.
But that’s not quite true, is it? The worst you can do is laugh in his face, leaving him a rejected mess. Scratch that–the worst you could do is accept the date, have him fall head over heels in love with you, then leave him in the dust to pick up the pieces while you move on with someone better.
Maybe you won’t pick up the phone. Maybe he’ll have more time to–
“Hi, Ms. Sweetheart! It’s me, Harris!”
It was a small thing. Miniscule, even. Just your meager attempt at reclaiming part of the past that had been lost to time and disease. A simple family recipe, apples boiled and mashed into a sauce that you’d hoped even vaguely resembled the way Grandma made it. A tiny cut on your fingertip serves as a battle wound from peeling, the sweet aroma of cinnamon still lingering in the kitchen.
You try to convince yourself that it isn’t a big deal. It’s just applesauce. But the thought falls flat as you stare into the trash can. You can still see all of your work literally tossed away through the tears that blur your vision.
You’d left the room for two minutes, two goddamn minutes, and when you came back, the plastic pink bowl that held the applesauce was nowhere to be found. You could’ve sworn you left it on the counter, but maybe you’d already put it away? A quick scan of the refrigerator gave you nothing but a chill. Where the hell did it go? Were you losing your mind?
A rogue apple peel had fallen to the floor, and you scooped it up, flustered at how you could have misplaced an entire bowl of applesauce. Sure, it wasn’t as much as when you and Grandma made it for the whole family, but it was still a decent amount. Your foot presses the pedal that lifts the bin’s lid, and that’s when you see it.
“Grandma?” you choke out, looking over to where she’s sitting on the couch. She doesn’t respond, and you raise your voice a bit to grab her attention. “Grandma, why did you throw out the applesauce?”
Her empty gaze briefly flits over to where you’re standing, not even registering the burgeoning frustration and sadness coursing through your veins. “Wasn’t me,” she says flatly, scratching at the side of her nose with a jagged nail. Before dementia, her nails were always painted bright hues of red or blue; now, it was difficult enough to get her to leave the house for essential doctor’s appointments. You weren’t going to put up a fight trying to get her to the salon.
You know you should just close the lid and walk away instead of torturing yourself by continuing to look, but your feet are glued to the linoleum floor. A cold drop of something lands on your toes, and that’s when you realize that you’re crying. Crying over goddamn applesauce.
All you wanted was some semblance of normalcy, something reminiscent of life before Grandma got sick and your family still felt whole. But what you got was a thickening realization that you can’t relive the past, no matter how hard you try.
The ringing phone startles you from your wallowing. You have half a mind to ignore it, but you know that Grandma will just grumble about how she hates the sound of it, so you pick up the receiver and answer with a shaky, “H-Hello?”
“Hi, Ms. Sweetheart! It’s me, Harris!” A little voice chirps through the other end. You can hear Eddie mumbling something, though you can’t quite make out what he’s saying. “Happy Thanksgiving! What’s your favorite balloon?” There’s more hushed speaking from Eddie, and Harris huffs out, “Daddy, stop! I know what to say!”
“My favorite balloon from the parade?” you ask, biting back a giggle.
“Mhm! I like Clifford,” he tells you.
You’d kept the parade on in the background, catching glimpses of it every now and again. Shit, what balloons did you see? “Clifford’s a good one,” you agree, “but I think the Rocky and Bullwinkle one was my favorite.”
Harris laughs so loudly that you have to pull the phone from your ear. “The squirrel and the moose?” he guffaws. “Ms. Sweetheart, that’s so silly!” You’re about to ask him how his holiday is going when he says, “Hold on, my daddy wants to talk to you.”
Your heart skips a beat at the prospect of talking to Eddie, and you wipe the tears from your wet cheeks as though he’ll be able to see them through the phone.
“Hey, Happy Thanksgiving!” he says. Something resembling trepidation tinges his tone, though you’re not sure why. Could he still be anxious to approach you after he confided in you at the parent-teacher conference? After he’d watched you panic when Grandma locked herself in her room?
You swallow, trying to choke down the sadness rising within you. “Yeah, y-you, too.” Despite your best efforts, your voice breaks on the last word, and you hope Eddie doesn’t catch it.
But of course he does.
“You okay?” he asks with a nervous chuckle. “‘Cause it kinda sounds like you’re crying.”
“‘M fine. Just, um, chopping onions,” you lie, hoping you’ve done a convincing job.
“For the…applesauce you’re making?” Eddie sees right through you; you’d forgotten that you’d told him and Harris about your plan during your weekly post-tutoring dinner last night. “Not gonna lie, that sounds even nastier than olives on pizza.”
You manage a laugh, but it’s disfigured by the catch in your throat. “The applesauce was a bust, unfortunately,” you admit. “I left the kitchen for a second and Grandma chucked it in the trash.”
“All of it?” he asks incredulously, letting out a deep exhale when you confirm that she did, in fact, throw out the entire bowl. “Jesus H. I’m so sorry. Is that what’s got you upset?”
“Mhm. I know it’s stupid, ‘s just applesauce, but–”
“‘S not stupid,” Eddie interrupts softly, and you twist the phone cord around your pointer finger with the sudden drop of his tone. “I know you were really looking forward to it.” He pauses, and you wonder for a moment if the line’s gone dead before he says, “We’re coming over. Me and Harris. Be there in twenty; fifteen, if I don’t have to argue with him about wearing a jacket.”
Before you can protest, he really does hang up. You look down at the baggy sweats and college t-shirt you’re wearing; you weren’t expecting any guests today, let alone the Munson boys. You should probably throw on some actual pants, and a bit of mascara couldn’t hurt, either.
You find a pair of jeans that aren’t buried under a mountain of laundry and tug them over your thighs before quickly swiping some makeup on your face. It’s enough to mask your exhaustion while still looking natural.
It dawns on you that you’re not quite sure why you suddenly care so much about your appearance. Harris couldn’t care less, and Eddie…well, even if Eddie did care, why would that matter to you? He’s your tutee’s parent; a new friend at most. On more than one occasion, you’ve answered the door to Jess with a wicked case of bedhead. Why does Eddie Munson of all people make you feel the need to look halfway decent?
When the buzzer sounds, you nearly jump out of your own skin. “It’s us,” Eddie says into the speaker; the smoothness of his voice has your stomach in knots. “And we come bearing gifts. Well, one gift, I guess.”
“Fuck off,” Grandma mumbles from the couch, cranking up the TV volume to an ungodly loud level. One of the Law & Order detectives says–no, screams–something about a murder, and you quickly reach for the remote and click the power button.
“We have company,” you tell her, and she just grunts in response. Hopefully her mood will change in the minute it will take Eddie and Harris to get to your apartment. You can hear them down the hallway, so you open the door just as they’re about to knock.
Eddie takes a step back in surprise. “You psychic or somethin’?” he laughs, looking down at his son and giving him a small nudge. “Go ahead, you can give it to her.”
Your gaze drops to the curly-haired boy standing by his father’s side. He’s holding a brightly colored package of off-brand Oreos, which he brings closer to his chest, pressing it tightly against his zippered sweatshirt. “It’s s’posed to be a surprise,” he reminds Eddie, wide-eyed with genuine concern.
“Only until we got here,” Eddie says gently, soft brown eyes encouraging Harris to hand you the cookies. He brings his attention back to you. “I know it’s not the same as making applesauce with your grandma, but I’ve never been sad eating an Oreo. An oatmeal raisin cookie, maybe. But not an Oreo.”
Now it’s your turn to smile. “You may be onto something here, Munson.” You take the package from Harris and guide the two of them to the kitchen, calling out to Grandma as you pass by. “Grandma, Eddie and Harris are here, and they brought cookies, if you wanna join us.” Her non-response is familiar at this point; the sting is much easier to brush off than it was a few short months ago. But you still feel it.
Even though Grandma isn’t at the table, Harris still climbs onto his dad’s lap. “Daddy, can I have one?” he asks, resting his dimpled chin on his palms as he glances upwards.
“Gotta ask Ms. Sweetheart,” Eddie shrugs, tickling Harris’s ribs and loudly whispering, “and ask her if your poor, hungry dad can have one, too. She can’t say no to you.”
You open the package and shake your head at his antics, sliding out the flimsy tray and offering it to them. “Of course you can have one, Harris,” you say, tone saccharine sweet. His chubby fingers darting out and snatching up a cookie before you even finish your sentence. “But I don’t know about your dad. Do you think he should get one?”
“C’mon, Har,” Eddie urges him, “us men gotta stick together. All for one and one for all, right?” He flexes his bicep; it’s an attempt to emphasize the manliness that supposedly bonds him and Harris, but the gesture has your breath catching in your throat. You sputter and cough embarrassingly, excusing yourself to pour a glass of water.
“Anyone else want?” you manage once you can speak again, holding up the ceramic pitcher.
Eddie nods, lifting Harris from his lap and placing him on the nearest empty chair. “Here, let me help you.” He stands up and calls out over his shoulder, “Grandma, how about some water?”
You’re about to tell him not to worry about it, but to your surprise, she nods. “Ya.”
“So, four waters,” Eddie reports, taking the pitcher and refilling your glass.
You grab another just like it from the cabinet before taking two blue disposable ones, plopping a bendy straw in each. “Grandma, um, she needs stuff that isn’t breakable,” you explain lamely. “And the other plastic one is for Harris.”
Eddie grins. “Thought it was for me. Y’know, always making a mess.”
“Ah, but only of your life,” you tease. “You’re pretty good with basic human functions.” Your face burns at what you’ve potentially implied, but Eddie isn’t fazed.
“Y’know what? I’m gonna take my cookies back!” he pouts, crossing his arms over his chest in mock-indignance. A piece of curly hair sticks to his lower lip with his sudden movement, and you brush it away with your thumb before you can stop yourself.
The crinkling of the fake-Oreo package draws both of your gazes, with Eddie poised to tell Harris that he’s only allowed one more. But to your surprise—and perhaps Eddie’s, too—Harris isn’t the one rifling through the tray. Grandma’s taken a seat next to the boy, handing him a cookie before taking her own. She just nibbles on it in silence, but it’s the most present she’s been in days.
“Y’like Oreos, Grandma?” Eddie asks, pouring water into the two plastic glasses and carrying one in each ringed hand. He places them on the table, and Grandma brings the straw to her lips as she nods again. He pauses for a moment, lips tucked into his mouth as he ponders something. “What kind of music does she listen to?” he asks you.
“She has a record collection over in the living room,” you tell him, pointing to the low bookshelf near the door, “but we haven’t played any in awhile. She’s kinda…weird with noises.”
He considers this, walking over to the records and thumbing through them until he finds one that he recognizes. “Could I put this one on?” He holds up the battered copy of Frank Sinatra’s It Might As Well Be Swing. “I’ll take it off if she gets upset. I just wanna try something.” He carefully slides the record from its sleeve, lifting the player’s needle and placing it on the space for the first track.
There’s a soft static as the record starts to spin, and Ol’ Blue Eyes croons:
Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
Eddie joins in with the next part. His voice still carries its signature rasp, but it’s noticeably smoother, warmer than the night he’d dedicated the Def Leppard song to you.
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me
His eyes remain trained on the record player, but you swear you can feel the lyrics drifting towards you. The melody wraps around you like a hug, and you momentarily lose yourself in a musical embrace.
Another voice, low and timid, chimes in. You have to stifle a gasp when you realize that it’s Grandma, her lips curling into the smallest of smiles–the most joy she’s shown in a long while–as she half-sings the words.
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
“Holy shit,” you breathe out, and before you can exhale the third syllable, the world shifts back to normal. Grandma goes back to mindlessly munching on her cookie as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. You turn to Eddie. “What was that?”
He shrugs, suddenly feeling shy. “I read somewhere that music can, like, bring back some memories. Not permanently or anything, but I figured it was worth a shot.”
You can’t stop yourself from flinging your arms around Eddie’s neck, nearly knocking him over in the process. He pauses before he returns the gesture, pulling you tightly into him. One hand is on the small of your back; the other gently rests on the back of your head, allowing you to rest your forehead on his chest. Your tears flow freely, leaving tiny wet spots on his shirt. He doesn’t let go until you start to pull back.
“Thank you,” you whisper; when he pinches his brows in confusion, you elaborate. “You gave me back a little piece of who she was before…” you trail off, swiping at your cheeks messily. “Just…thank you.”
Eddie nods, swallowing the lump in his throat. His eyes are practically glued to your lips; this time, when his fingers brush against your palm, he hooks his pinky with yours. “‘Course,” he murmurs.
You’re not sure how long the two of you remain linked like this, joined hands swaying ever-so-slightly as Fly Me to the Moon fades out to I Wish You Love. It’s somewhere between ten seconds and ten years, because time seemingly slows to a halt.
You might stay with pinkies hooked forever if Harris doesn’t bolt from his chair, hugging your waist and looking up at you with concern.
“Ms. Sweetheart?” he asks. His wide, misty eyes indicate that he’s absorbed some of the emotion in the room, though he may not even be aware of this. “Why are you sad?” His chubby fingers grab onto the fabric of your pants.
You choke out a tearful laugh as you crouch down to meet him at his level. “I’m not sad…well, I’m sad and happy at the same time,” you try to explain, shaking your head when you realize you’re only adding to his puzzlement. “Grown-up feelings are weird sometimes, Har. But your hugs definitely help.”
With that, he squeezes you tighter, and you glance at Eddie with a full heart. He takes a step forward, scooping up Harris. You worry that you’ve crossed a line, that you’ve shown too much of your vulnerability to a four-year-old, but your fears are subdued when Eddie extends one arm and brings you back to both him and his son. Something brushes against your scalp, and you realize that he’s pressing a light kiss to the top of your head.
Harris squirms, and when Eddie puts him down, he runs over to the TV set. “Can I watch something?” It’s clear that the moment has passed, and Eddie throws you an apologetic shrug as he waits for your response.
“Sure,” you say, trying to pepper cheerfulness into your voice. It’s easier now that the wave of loneliness has passed, taking with it some of the mourning you’d clung to earlier today. You click on the TV and flip through channels until a familiar cartoon appears on the screen. “I think we’re just in time to watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving!” you exclaim, and Harris mirrors your enthusiasm by flinging himself onto the couch, making his dad cringe.
“Careful, little dude,” Eddie says, clicking off the record player and gently placing the vinyl back in its sleeve. “You just got that cast off a few days ago. Don’t need you to break another bone.” Certainly don’t need another hospital bill, he thinks bitterly. He takes the spot next to Harris, silently begging you to join them.
You turn to the kitchen table and put a hand on Grandma’s shoulder. “You wanna watch Charlie Brown with us?” But she rejects your invitation with a simple shake of her head, mumbling something about being tired and padding into her room.
You take the empty space to Harris’s left so that the boy is sandwiched between you and his father. He’s a small kid, but it seems like there’s an entire ocean separating you and Eddie.
“Why’s Lucy so mean?” Harris asks no one in particular. “She’s always yelling. Like Ms. Marion.” You have to stifle a giggle at that observation, and when you allow yourself a glance, you see that Eddie’s doing the same.
The first half of the movie is filled with Harris’s constant commentary; he speaks more than all of the cartoon characters combined. But he tires out eventually, though in typical four-year-old fashion, he denies his sleepiness even as he’s yawning. He fights it pretty well, you’ve got to give him credit where it’s due, but eventually, the exhaustion takes over and he lays his head on your arm. His curls tickle your elbow, and you gingerly reposition him so he’s tucked up against your side.
“You can move him over, if you get uncomfortable or somethin’. Kid sleeps like a rock. Except, y’know, when I need him to sleep.” Eddie snickers as Harris lets out the softest, tiniest snore.
You return the laughter and shake your head. “Nah, I’m good,” you reassure him, smiling at the ruddy cheek pressed against you. “Don’t tell my other students, but Harris is the cutest kid ever.”
Eddie shrugs, but you can tell that the compliment tickles him. “Well, it makes sense, since his dad is a total stud.” He waggles his eyebrows before turning his attention back to Charlie and Lucy. You’re not quite sure how to respond to that; if you play it off as a joke, you risk hurting his feelings. If you tell him the truth–
“D’you like coffee?”
His sudden, seemingly arbitrary question snaps you from your indecision. “I teach four-year-olds,” you reply lightheartedly, hoping he can’t sense your mind continuing to linger on his stud comment. “I practically have coffee running through my veins. What about you?”
“I have a four-year-old, so, same.” He clears his throat, seemingly double-checking that his son is still sound asleep. His leg is bouncing up and down, and he nearly has to press on his knee to get it to stop. “Um, Harris is going to a birthday party next Saturday morning if you wanted to get some with me? Get some coffee, I mean.” He silently chastises himself, wondering if he’d ever been suave around women or if it had just been the unearned confidence of a young man in his early twenties convincing him that he had.
“Like...like a date?” Fuck, do you sound too eager? “Because if you feel like you owe me a date after…after our night at the bar, you don’t have to. I forgave you after you gave me those M&Ms, remember?”
“Yeah…wait, no. Hold on.” Eddie holds up his pointer finger as he collects his thoughts. He could deny that it’s a date altogether and throw out some bullshit lie about it just being something between friends. But he promised Wayne, promised himself that he’d give this a shot. “Yes, I’m asking you on a date. No, it’s not because I feel like I owe you one–although I definitely do,” he adds with a goofy grin that sends flutters to your stomach. “It’s because, fuck, I can’t stop thinking about you, and how happy you make me–and Harris, too–and how I get kinda nervous around you, which makes no sense because you’re, like, the nicest fuckin’ person ever. Oh my God, why can’t I stop talking?”
“Eddie.” The way you say his name is like a song he could replay forever. “I’d really like to get coffee with you. I just need to see if someone can watch Grandma…maybe Jess,” you surmise, biting back the fact that you’ll have to withhold your date’s name, lest she subject you to a lecture about sleeping with the enemy.
Eddie nods, swiping the tip of his tongue over his lower lip and smiling. “I can pick you up at noon? If Jess can watch Grandma, of course.”
“Noon works.” You want to kiss him right then and there; if Harris wasn’t nestled in the middle of you both, you might not hold back. “I can let you know on Wednesday when we have dinner together.”
Eddie’s not sure he can wait that long for an answer. What if you’re just buying time to get out of it? What if you’re only being nice to him because you’re afraid that he’ll get angry again and reignite the bitter feud you’d been locked in just a month ago? He swallows the insecurities, gaze flickering to your eyes.
And maybe it’s because you can sense his unease and self-doubt, or maybe it’s because you genuinely want to–Eddie doesn’t know for sure–but he feels you lace your fingers with his, resting your joined hands on his thigh. He shifts his grasp to weave them tighter together, learning back into the couch and allowing his body to relax. His shoulders let go of tension he hadn’t realized he was holding on to, and a contented sigh slips from his lips.
It’s you, him, and Harris. Sitting on the sofa and watching a holiday movie. An unconventional little family, but a family all the same. Eddie swears that he could stay like this forever, a thought that almost has him bursting out in laughter. The same man who had concocted an elaborate method to keep women around without actually committing to them was now reveling in domestic bliss.
When the movie ends and Harris begins to rouse, Eddie begrudgingly stands with an exaggerated groan. “These old bones, y’know,” he laments with a mischievous click of his tongue. “Everything starts fallin’ apart when you turn thirty.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Yeah,” he chuckles, lifting Harris onto his hip and rubbing his back to help him fall back to sleep. “I know.” He grabs his keys from the shelf near the door as you walk them out. And before he can wimp out, he leans in and presses his lips to your forehead in a gentle kiss, stubble scratching against your skin. His hands are trembling when he pulls away.
“You’re the best,” he repeats the same statement he’d made on parent-teacher conference night. It’s even more true now than it was then. “We’ll see you on Wednesday for pizza?” And an answer, hopefully a ‘yes.’ “Wednesday,” you echo, still processing the fact that, for the second time today, Eddie Munson’s lips have been on you.
--
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Bernard x Human!Reader - Chapter 1 - The Strangest Dream
A/N: Alrighttt I crawled out of my hiatus to write this because I’ve been thinking about this for a year!!! So, this fic was heavily inspired by another Bernard fic writer on Tumblr who wrote reader as Scott’s daughter and wrote it SO WELL might I add!! I can’t find their account now which makes me so so sad but if I do I will edit this to give credit. 🙏 Anyways, I won’t write it exactly like how they wrote it, of course, as I want to give my own spin on the idea.
Christmas Eve was not going as planned. You had come down from your dorm at the nearby community college to visit your dad and younger brother Charlie. You had offered to help prepare Christmas dinner, but your dad insisted that he had everything under control. You loved your dad, but you also know when to ignore his word, so you brought some mashed potatoes and gravy along with some cheesy Pillsbury crescent rolls and mac n cheese that you had made in your dorm kitchens. You entrusted the turkey to your dad... but also secretly brought some chicken tenders and a bottle of Martinelli's apple cider in case plans went south. You would've made your own turkey for Christmas if you could, but you had roommates who also needed the kitchen.
Sure enough, when you arrived, the house was filled with smoke, and your dad was using a fire extinguisher on the very burnt turkey when you walked into the kitchen. You held as much food as you could carry in one trip in your arms. Your eyes traveled around the house, and landed on Charlie's disappointed face as he watched your dad put out the rising flames in the oven. You then looked at all of the burnt food on the table and sighed. Charlie saw you, and all the food in your arms, and his face instantly lit up. Your dad spotted you next, and a look of both guilt and relief washed over him simultaneously. "Look at you, always prepared." He spoke with a smile. "I'm sorry, I really though I had dinner covered. Must be something wrong with the oven.." He said, giving the oven an accusatory glance before walking over to help you set all the food down. You helped clear the table of all the badly burnt food, and then Charlie eagerly ran out to your car to help carry the rest of the food in.
Once all the food you brought was set out on the table, you dished Charlie up first, then your dad, and finally you sat down with your own plate. Charlie was looking much more chipper now, and you knew this was going to be a jolly Christmas. Everyone had enjoyed their food and apple cider, and now you could all get ready for bed with full stomachs.
You watched as your father read Charlie a Christmas bedtime story, and when it looked like he had fallen asleep, you began to sneak out the room. Just as your father was about to leave the room behind you, Charlie's soft voice broke the silence.
"What's that?"
"What's what?" Your dad questioned in return.
"A Rose Suchak ladder?"
You chuckled at this question, and watched as your father tried to explain what 'Arose such a clatter' meant.
Then, Charlie began to ask critical questions about the logistics of Santa Clause and how he gets around. Your dad struggled to come up with answers on the spot, and you found all of Charlie's questions to be adorable, and all of your dad's answers amusing.
Charlie eventually stopped asking his brilliant questions, and decided you and your dad should leave cookies and milk out just in case. You opted to make the cookies to save your dad the trouble of nearly burning down the kitchen a second time in one night.
Before you could even begin making the cookie dough, you heard loud thumping on the roof. You were just as alert as the rest of your family, and soon you all poured out of the house in a panic, one after the other, checking to see what the commotion was. You stared in shock at a man who appeared to be dressed up as Santa Claus on the roof, and then thought for a moment that maybe he was Santa after all, considering the sleigh and reindeer behind him. Charlie ran out last, just in time to see Santa take a tumble into the fluffy pad of snow below. Your dad and Charlie ran up to the man as you stood back in shock. Your dad checked the man for Identification, and all he found was a card that told him to put on the suit. Then the strangest night of your lives ensued.
You weren’t sure how this was physically possible, but you watched as your dad fit down chimney after chimney, lowered down by a floating bag of gifts into each house. Charlie was fascinated, but you were having trouble believing what you were seeing. You watched as your dad magically fit down every chimney and pipe until he had absolutely no gifts left. The next thing you knew, the reindeer were soaring thousands of miles in the air and traveling what seemed to be at the speed of light, and yet the ride was as comfortable as being on an airplane.
The reindeer began lowering the sleigh down onto soft white snow, and you realized suddenly that snow was all you could see for miles. Your dad’s irritation was increasing at the sight of this location, and your face felt like it was going to freeze off. A small child, who seemed to be around Charlie’s age, appeared out of nowhere, and with him, a tall red and white pole. “Look, dad, It’s the North Pole!” Your little brother exclaimed, as excited as ever.
“That’s the North Pole?” Your dad questioned, displeased. You just quietly waited to see what the child was going to do next. He walked to a keypad in the pole, typed out a code, and the sleigh began to lower into the ground. Surrounding you now was a sight you couldn’t believe. You knew right away that this was the North Pole. You stared in awe as your inner child squealed with delight. You and Charlie were swept up in the beauty of the workshop, and you found all the elves to be absolutely adorable.
The second the sleigh landed, your dad was off to find “who’s in charge,” and you and Charlie just walked around in awe. “Charlie, I think you might have to pinch me now, I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not.” You whisper to your younger brother, and without a second thought, he pinches your arm as hard as he can. “Ow!” You exclaim, not expecting the pinch to be so painful, “...thanks.” You mutter as Charlie walks towards your dad, who seems to be talking to an elf, who is possibly the only one in the workshop who appears to be around your age. At the moment, he was very annoyed with your father being in severe denial of the situation. You were only having slight trouble believing what you were seeing, but Charlie’s sharp pinch helped with that.
You didn’t catch up until after the elf had introduced him, so when your dad forgot his name and he had to repeat it, you were a bit relieved. He introduced himself as Bernard, you couldn’t help but chuckle. It was childish to laugh at, but you couldn’t help it. “That’s the most elvish name I’ve ever heard,” You remarked. Bernard gave you an irritated blank stare, before turning his attention to your brother. You introduced Bernard to Charlie, and he gave him a beautiful snow globe, and when he shook it, you both could see a sleigh fly above the houses inside. It was fascinating, and Charlie made sure to thank him for the gift. After that, Bernard sent him with an elf named Larry to get something to drink, and you followed, wanting to keep track of your brother, and figuring your father could handle himself.
The tour of the workshop was everything you’d dreamed of as a kid, and the experience was something you never thought you’d get to check off your bucket list, yet here you were, struggling to catch up to Charlie as he quickly darted from place to place. You checked out the toys, then the candy room, and finally Larry grabbed Charlie a glass of hot cocoa, and you a nice mug of spiced apple cider. After you finished your drinks, Charlie quickly made his way back to your dad, with you trailing behind him.
It didn’t take long to catch on to the verdict being that your dad was now Santa Claus. It was a strange thing to try and grasp, but Charlie had no questions, only excitement at the idea.
Bernard had finally gotten Charlie and your dad to go to sleep in the room set up for them, and you had your own room as well, but you couldn't sleep. You had been longing for this kind of comfort for a long time. Ever since you moved out, Christmas hadn't felt the same. It was still wonderful, and merry indeed, but it no longer invoked the excitement it used to, the kind you saw in Charlie's eyes. But this... something that had only been cast off as a childhood fantasy in your mind, the fact that it was real, you could feel that child-like wonder bubbling inside you. You had to explore further.
You quietly snuck out of your room, and were relieved to see that no one was awake. You treaded carefully through the halls, your fingertips gently gracing the railing beside you as you gazed around at the dulled impressions of vibrant colors you saw earlier that day. You stared out the front windows of the workshop and considered going out into the snow, but figured you'd likely freeze to death in your flimsy winter attire that may be fine for where you live, but not here.
A few minutes into wandering through the empty shop, you heard quick and purposeful footsteps storming through the halls, shuffling through all of the items in the shop, section by section. Your eyes tracked the source of these sounds back to a shrouded figure in the dark as they began to descend the stairs, near where you stood. As they got closer, you could hear them muttering angrily to themselves as they continued to sort through the Christmas toys. Soon enough, they noticed you.
"What are you doing awake?" The familiar voice hissed. You took a moment to respond, trying to figure out why the voice sounded familiar, and who it belonged to.
"Bernard?" You whispered back finally, once your night vision adjusted to barely make out his features. "What are you doing?"
"I should be asking you that question, you should be asleep." The elf retorted disdainfully.
"I tried to, but I couldn't." You admitted as you silently wondered why it was so bad that you were awake.
"Why's that?" He questioned with growing impatience. Clearly, Bernard preferred everything to be in order, and you being awake messed with that order.
"I guess I just... I wanted to see this place as it slept. It was so magical earlier today, but I really enjoy the peace and quiet as my inner child settles with the idea that a concept I deemed mythical for so long is actually.. real.. I mean, my dad is Santa, and the workshop is real, you, and the other elves, you're all very real. It's something I dreamt about happening as a kid, but I eventually gave up thinking would ever come true." You explain, and as you do, you watch the majority of frustration dissipate from Bernard's expression. He hadn't expected such a thorough response.
"That... makes sense." He responded, his tone softening. "Sorry for being short tempered with you, it's not even you I'm actually upset with, I just- Your father- Santa's denial of the fact that he is Santa, it worries me. The entire North Pole is at stake if he decides not to take the job-"
"He'll take the job, don't worry. My dad's always been like this, with everything. He takes longer than most to accept changes in his reality. He'll eventually get it, and then face it. You'll have your Santa, so let that be one less thing to worry about." You assure the anxious elf, and he calms even more after that.
He takes a deep breath, "Thank you for that." He whispers appreciatively. Then there's a moment where silence settles comfortably in the air, the moment of tension has passed. The cold wind from outside is beating gently against the windows, and then he speaks up again. "You said you wanted to explore while it was quiet... well what if I give you a tour of the North Pole tonight? I can give you winter gear that's guaranteed to keep you warm outside." He offers kindly, and you smile.
"I would love that." You agree, and soon he brings you a warm jacket, scarf, gloves, snow pants, and snow boots. You're fully equipped and ready to go, and he just remains in his regular wear. The blistering cold doesn't seem to affect him as much, which you suppose makes sense, because he is an elf from the North Pole after all.
He shows you all the back ways to the shop, all the areas you hadn't seen yet. Then, you got to see the town where all the elves live, and all of them lived in small quarters, amongst the snowy hills of the North Pole. It was the best town you'd ever visited, even if it was late at night and no lights were on. Bernard invited you to see his own cottage, and while it was slightly bigger than the others, it was still small. It was a cozy festive cottage. He had a fire going, and it smelled like cookies and peppermint inside. He made you both some hot cocoa, his own impression of Judy's recipe.
As the fire crackled, the snow flakes melted against the window, and the cocoa warmed your belly, you began to finally feel tired, and Bernard very thoughtfully wrapped a blanket around you.
The next thing you knew, you woke up in your own bed, dazed and confused. You very slowly rose in your bed, rubbing your eyes and trying to get a grip, and soon Charlie came rushing into your rooming yelling, "Merry Christmas Y/n!"
You looked at him, half asleep, and quietly muttered, "I just had the strangest dream."
#x reader#fem reader#y/n#fanfic#fanfiction#bernard the elf#the santa clause 2#bernard x reader#bernard the elf x reader#the santa clause
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