#tumblr why you keep messing up my follows/notifications???

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 18, Unread - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, betrayal, mentions of sex, mentions of violence, threats.

Word Count: 1.9k

Previously On...: You saw something on Bucky's phone that changed everything.

A/N: Here it is-- the final betrayal. I'm sorry. It can only go up from here, right? LOL no.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

“Care to tell me why we’re meeting in an unused guest suite on a floor that’s mostly under construction?” Nat asked when you opened the door of your borrowed new room to let her in. You didn’t utter a word, just thrust a copy of the text screenshots into her hands and sat down at the edge of the unfamiliar bed, waiting for her to read them.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Just read it,” you told her, voice devoid of any emotion.

Natasha scanned through the messages, her eyes widening in shock and disgust as she made her way through them. “This has got to be some sort of sick trick, right?” she asked you when she’d finished. “Like, Carthage found some program online to make up fake text messages and sent them to mess with you. Barnes would nev–”

“I screenshotted them off of Bucky’s phone, myself, Nat,” you informed her. 

There was a knock on the door and Nat opened it to reveal Wanda. “I came as soon as I could,” the other redhead said. “Why are we having a secret meeting?” Nat handed Wanda the screenshots and came to sit next to you on the bed while she read them.

Wanda’s hand flew to her mouth. “No,” she whispered, looking back up at you. “How could he? There must be some kind of mistake.”

“No mistake, Wands,” you said, standing up to take the pages from her. “It’s all right there, typed out by the man himself.” And then, as if to punish yourself further, you began to read out loud the text between Bucky and Jade:

Vix <3: Hey there, handsome xoxo

Vix <3: Bucky?

Vix <3: You just going to ignore me after everything?

>> How are you texting me? You're supposed to be blocked.

Vix <3: You should keep better track of your phone, then ;) 

Vix <3: Or, at the very least, choose a better passcode.

>> What do you want?

Vix <3: I want to talk about what happened the other night.

>> Nothing happened.

Vix <3: Come on now, we both know that's not true ;)

>> It was a mistake. I should have never done it.

Vix <3: You don't make a mistake two separate times, Barnes.

>> Well, I did. And I regret it.

Vix <3: You didn't seem to regret it when you were blowing loads of cum inside of me.

>> Jesus Christ, Jade. You don't have to be so fucking crass about it.

Vix <3: I thought you liked girls with dirty mouths.

>> Jade, I have a girlfriend. She’s the only one whose mouth I like dirty. Or at all.

Vix <3: That's right, your Perfect, Precious Pocket.

>> Do not talk about her.

Vix <3: Oh please. Don't pretend you care about her now.

>> I love her.

Vix <3: You have a funny way of showing it, sleeping with me just a day and a half ago.

>> She is EVERYTHING to me.

Vix <3: Obviously not.

>> I thought she slept with Steve.

>> I was a fucking idiot.

>> It was a misunderstanding.

Vix <3: Orly? That how she's going to see it?

>> She's not gonna find out.

Vix <3: You think you can hide the truth from her? Please.

>> The last thing I want to do is hurt her.

Vix <3: Should have thought of that before you fucked me. Twice.

Vix <3: If you don't tell her, I will.

>> She'd never believe you. She fucking hates you.

Vix <3: I don't need her to believe me. I just need her to see these texts.

>> You wouldn't.

Vix <3: Try me. You don't want to fuck with me, Bucky.

Vix <3: Tell her the truth or I will.

>> I swear to god, Carthage, you breathe a word of this to her and I *will* fucking kill you.

>> That is not an idle threat.

>> Ending your life would be as easy for me as breathing.

Vix <3: You wouldn't.

>> Do you want to try me?

>> Because I promise you, she is the most important thing in this world to me, and if you threaten that, I will end you without losing a wink of sleep.

>> You know what I'm capable of. Don't test me.

>> Do you understand me?

>> I said, do you understand me?

Vix <3: Christ, yes, Barnes. I understand.

Vix <3: I'll keep my mouth shut.

Vix <3: But you're a real piece of shit, you know that?

>> You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

Vix <3: I'd be so fucking good to you if you just gave me a chance.

>> Not happening. And if I find out you even insinuate to Pocket, or to anyone, what happened in Russia, it will be the absolute last thing you ever do, and no one will ever find your body.

Vix <3: I already told you, I won't tell your Precious Pocket. I'm not a liar.

>> Good. We're done. I'll speak to Steve about having someone else take over your training.

Vix <3: WHAT?! You don't have to do that!

>> I can't be around you anymore. I don't want to be around you anymore.

Vix <3: Temptation too strong? Afraid you'll make another 'mistake'?

>> Fuck you.

Vix <3: You already did, baby xoxo

���Jesus fucking Christ,” Wanda whispered when you’d finished reading. “Pocket, honey, are you alright?” She looked at you as if she were terrified you were going to break. And maybe the old you would have. This new you, the one that was forged under rage and ice, was made of harder, crueler stuff.

“I’ll live,” you said. Nat and Wanda exchanged a glance that didn’t escape your notice. “What?” you snapped at them.

“Hey,” Nat said, “Don’t get mad at us; we’re just worried about you. The last time he pulled something like this, you were a mess. This,” she indicated the sheets of paper you still held, “is way worse, so forgive us for expecting you to not be okay.”

You sighed and slumped down into a nearby chair. “I’m sorry, guys,” you said. “Obviously I’m not okay, and it’s not fair of me to take out my frustrations on you. But this time is different. Before, I was devastated, I was sad. But now? Now I’m fucking pissed. It’s like every ounce of love I felt for him has been turned into pure, unadulterated hatred, and all I want is for him to fucking suffer. I want him to hurt the way he hurt me.” Wanda opened her mouth to speak, but you interrupted her before she could. “And I know that’s not healthy, Wands. Trust me, I know that. I’ve just never been this angry before in my entire fucking life. God, not even at fucking Darren.”

“Who’s Darren?” Wanda asked, but Nat shook her head at her.

“Not now,” she said.

“I don’t even want him dead,” you continued, voice rising, as though Wanda hadn’t spoken at all. “Death would be too good for him! I want him to feel pain, pain like he has never experienced before in his long, utterly useless life!”

“Pocket,” Nat warned. She knew you were dangerously close to saying something you might eventually come to regret.

You sighed, the rage fleeting and leaving you feeling hollow and broken. “I know,” you said. “I don’t really mean it. I’m just so goddamned hurt!”

“I know it’s difficult to believe this right now,” Wanda said, taking a step closer to put a hand on your shoulder, “but he does still love you– he said he—”

“No,” you interrupted, sounding every bit as defeated as you felt. “You don’t do that to someone you love. You just don’t. This morning, he talked about getting our own place, getting married, starting a fucking family.” You choked back your emotions, but your voice still cracked. “I thought he was ready to take things to the next step, to prove how much I meant to him, but he was just trying to distract me, trying to get me out of the Tower because he couldn’t risk me running into her, couldn’t risk her telling me the fucking truth he was too much of a coward to admit.”

Nat and Wanda looked from you to each other, lost in their sense of helplessness, of not knowing how to care for you in your time of need.

“You know,” you went on, “I probably would have forgiven him, if he had just straight up told me the truth. I mean, we weren’t even technically together, so it wasn’t cheating. If he’d said ‘I’m sorry, Pocket. I saw those articles and I went fucking crazy with jealousy. All I could think about was getting back at you because I thought you betrayed me.’ Yeah, I’d have been pissed, and it might have taken a while, but I could have forgiven him if he had just been fucking honest with me. That’s all I ever asked of him. That he just be fucking honest. But he’s lied to me, again and again and again.

“He took away my right to make an informed choice about my own fucking life,” you said, and this time, the emotions couldn’t be held back. “He of all fucking people should know what that feels like,” you sobbed. “He should know how valuable that choice is! How valuable it is to me!” And there it was, really, the crux of the matter. He knew how much you valued the freedom you now had over your own life, after so many years of not having any choices in what happened to your own body, and he’d stolen your ability to make a choice for yourself. He’d had sex with you, knowing you never would have consented if you knew he’d been with Carthage less than 24 hours prior. He’d violated so much more than your trust this time.

Nat stood up and raced over to you, throwing her arms around you. Wanda looked on for a moment, confused, before joining Nat in embracing you.

The entire time you’d been speaking to your friends, your phone had been silently vibrating. You’d turned the ringer off as soon as you texted Nat and Wanda, asking them to meet you. You didn’t need to look at the screen to know that it was Bucky who was trying to get ahold of you. If you’d been in a better frame of mind, you’d have laughed at the irony– here you had spent all day yesterday waiting on a text or call from him that never came, and now he was blowing up your phone and you couldn’t stand the thought of  speaking to or hearing from him. Life was sure funny sometimes.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), Ms. Romanoff, Ms. Maximoff,” FRIDAY’s voice rang through your borrowed room. “Mr. Stark is requesting everyone’s presence in Conference Room C for a mandatory pre-mission briefing to begin in ten minutes.”

“Fucking Tony,” you moaned. A mandatory meeting meant a mandatory encounter with Bucky, and you were so not ready for that yet.

“Don’t worry,” Wanda said, squeezing your hands. “Natasha and I won’t leave your side. He won’t be able to get near you. I’ll put a forcefield up around you if I have to.”

You managed to sniff out a laugh and wiped your nose. “Thanks, Wands. I really appreciate it.” Steeling yourself, you stood up from your chair. “Let’s go see what Tony wants.”

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[chloeangelic]

addressing the drama (with receipts)

I wanted to have my ducks in a row before speaking out instead of just responding; I’m not doing this to change anyone’s opinions - it’s really not possible change someone’s perception of me even if it’s based on falsehoods - but I need to do this so I know I’ve said and shown what needs to be shown, and people can do with it what they please. 

To the readers and writers who have blocked me, unfollowed me, and mutuals who have stopped talking to me over this - I’m really, really sad you didn’t come to me first and give me the opportunity to explain what was going on. I understand if you wanted to distance yourself from drama but I also need you to understand that this was not discourse-drama I willingly got myself into. This was a month of frequent harassment and slander that eventually turned into bullying by a group of people using false info, hiding behind side blogs and anons, and I hoped it would blow over but it never seemed to stop. With anons turned off for most of the last two months, people have gone to my friends’ inboxes instead to harass them about me (and insult them in the process), and I can’t do this anymore.

I feel so alienated and disliked in this community that I can’t go on the dash without feeling like I shouldn’t interact with anyone out of fear that they’ll get uncomfortable seeing me in their notifs. People keep saying they want the community to get better and then they jump on the bandwagon of vague posting and RBing without taking a second to verify the claims, clearly not realizing how much hurt it causes to perpetuate it. If you’re reading this, I  hope your name isn't the next one they pull out of the hat when they want someone new to push off the platform. 

Explanations, timelines and receipts below. 

-

For anyone waiting for an explanation regarding the posts and anons about me that have circulated for weeks, or waiting for receipts proving or disproving that I’m a mean girl who spends my time talking shit, here you go. I am so beyond hurt, I don’t even know what to say. I’m floored, I’m so disappointed in this community and I’m so sad. In the last two weeks, I stayed up until 4am one night receiving screenshots of posts and anons about me, I cried, I tried to understand why this has happened to me, and I have sat here day after day with no answers. 

If you think I’m being melodramatic, try losing a quarter of your mutuals and having a bunch of people block you when you’ve had either no interaction with them or they’ve all been positive, and see how that feels, on top of constant rumors about you being a terrible person when you know you’ve barely had any negative interactions with anyone on the platform. I can’t be on tumblr any longer without exonerating myself and putting it out there that all of this has been one gigantic mess based on lies about me, seemingly compounded by grievances people have against Gracie (some one whose personal conversations have nothing to do with me). Either I do this, or I log out forever and only post on ao3, cause I feel like the fucking grim reaper here. Posts about me being an awful person are still circulating, despite the original post being deleted and the follow up stating that the OP has talked to me and they have apologized.

I’m not naming names in this. I will be using person A/B/C/D to make it less confusing. I’ve removed identifying information from the screenshots because even though I’m hurt by these people, I know that they will get dogpiled and harassed if I identify them, and I want it all to stop. Several have apologized to me and I have accepted. 

Sometime in December, rumors started circulating that there was a “big/elite writers discord” where they talked shit about small writers (I’m not in any discords specifically for writers and I have never heard of such a server). At about the same time, person A - someone who was very active in my own, now-deleted discord server, started frequently vagueposting about me, calling me a mean girl and, intentionally or not, made it seem like I was part of this “elite group of writers”. This is someone who I have never had a negative interaction with and who seemingly out of nowhere decided that I call myself elite and I’m a terrible person. 

Person B had some grievances with myself, Iris, and Gracie it seemed, so they went to person C and accused us of talking shit in our voice chats. I assume person A and B have talked about me at some point and validated each other’s claims, but I can't know that for sure. Person B messaged me from a burner account and apologized, then seemingly deleted the account after I responded.

Gracie frequently posted about us three chatting, and although I understand this might have felt alienating to some, many writers are open about having group chats with each other. All we did was write, edit, and Gracie sometimes made memes. We talked about non-fic stuff often, and when Gracie had an issue with other writers and she was upset, we talked about it. That’s what friends do. She knows that I believe those situations were handled poorly. One of those situations came to light recently - I had a very pleasant conversation with the writer involved, and we are still in touch.

I have spoken to person C, who posted the most “popular” smear post about me and some of my friends. They retracted their statements and profusely apologized to us, admitting it was based on stuff they heard from person B, showing me screenshots of the conversation. However, their original posts are still circulating through reblogs despite being deleted from their account. 

Person D also posted about me and my friends, however their post was sort of ridiculous, accusing me of spending more time replying to anons than writing. I found this funny, but the way they slut shamed my friend was absolutely not humorous, and dragging a random writer in to criticize them was a strange attempt at adding fuel to the fire. 

-

And for the receipts, 

I blocked person A after seeing a handful of vague posts clearly about me, and after they interacted with every single rude anon posted about me that I saw. I think that’s reasonable, no? I’m not gonna post screenshots of their posts cause I honestly just don’t want to look at them again, they make me feel kind of sick if I'm honest, but if anyone doesn’t believe me, they are welcome to DM me and I will send. 

Person B messaged me, admitted to partaking in this mess, and apologized. This is part of a LONG message:

Person C apologized over message and called me on discord. We had a conversation clearing things up, they deleted their posts and wrote a public apology. 

If you need any proof that person B’s claims were, in fact, baseless, look at this exchange between person B and person C after person C had cleared things up with me.

Person D honestly just creeps me out, cause what the fuck is this? Fine if you don’t like me based on my writing or my persona on here but… Why the witch hunt? 

ETA: Person C asked person D to take down their post and they never responded. This was sent prior to that, I know the full context, I just thought this specific part was worth sharing to show how vile some people allow themselves to be behind burner accounts.

What kind of behavior is this? This was from a sideblog, and I don't know what their main account is. It creeps me the fuck out knowing this person is lurking somewhere in the community.

I have hated every moment of this. None of this has been fun for me. This has completely fucked up my motivation to write and my enjoyment of it, it has made me anxious, it has messed with my self esteem, and it has made me want to log out of Tumblr and not come back. 

Please, I beg, if you have an issue with me, just come to me and I promise I will have a conversation with you. You can’t tell people’s tone over anon and I don’t think that’s a good way to have a conversation, especially one about something that should be solved in private, so they remain off, but my DM’s are open. 

I'm so sick of seeing vagueposts and trying to decipher if they're about me. Having to do that a bunch of times messes with your head.

I'm not sure what to do moving forward, but I needed to say my piece. I don't want to talk about this again, I want to put this behind me. I seriously hope this doesn't wreck my last remaining want to share my writing on here.

Thanks again to everywhere who has supported me in my DMs and comments, you mean the world to me 🤍🤍🤍 And if you found yourself duped by all this but change your opinion on me now or eventually, I won't hold a grudge, and I'm happy to speak again and pick up where we left off.

[lia404]

Get to know me better game—2 in 1 because I'm 6 months late

Tagged by: @baratrongirl and @missmewachu

Thanks for being so patient while I was figuring out how Tumblr works again and why I had a blue dot beside "Activity" (as in, notifications about tag games I've been sent 6 months ago. Better late than never 🤦‍♀️) Thankfully the tag games you sent my way are very similar so it won't be hard to do 2 in 1!

Last song I listened to: Chipzel - Courtesy - YouTube

The 1st track of Super Hexagon, composed by Chipzel. Chipzel's music has been a pick-me-up since 201...4 I think? And since I fell back into Super Hexagon around a week ago, the music has also found its way back into my work playlist.

Currently reading: Trick question! There is what I am MEANT to read, and what I am ACTUALLY reading.

What I am MEANT to read is To Shape a Dragon's Breath, by Moniquill Blackgoose, which has absolutely all the elements I need to love a book. The problem is that my brain absolutely refuses moving further than Chapter 1, and I've been stuck for MONTHS. The good news is that when it happens, I usually struggle until the moment my brain finally snaps and I read the whole book in an afternoon. Wait for me, Moniquill Blackgoose, I'll soon be raving about your book.

What I am ACTUALLY reading is... well, it's more re-reading, but I'm going through Happy Hour by Inkflavored and Keep the Light Shining by Clydeside, two Yu-Gi-Oh AUs that have been incredibly healing for me in the past months, for very different reasons. I wanted to re-experience them to see if I could turn them into fanbinding projects (if the authors give me the authorisation of course, but I haven't reached this level of confidence yet, let's give it time.)

Currently watching: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS.

Do you believe me if I tell you that it was an accident? It kinda was though! I wasn't the one who played the first episodes I just kept going afterwards. That said, I have fully adopted Yusaku. I kind of wish he could meet Philip from Kamen Rider W. Things would go so well.

Currently writing: this one is plain cruel, because after a drought spell of almost 2 years, I finally feel like getting back into writing (thank you, current obsession.)

I have 3 WIPs, one PWP because I like a challenge, one backstory of a character that has basically become my OC, and one AU that @wisyhana created and that I'm using as a wonderful sandbox. I am between 2k and 5k into each, nothing is complete, I'm losing my mind. But at least I'm writing again, right?

Spicy/sweet/savoury: Okay yes no it's cruel again and you will not make me pick just one.

If you've followed me these past years you know that I have completely lost my sense of taste between 2020 and 2023. I was lucky enough, and honestly even the specialised doctor said it was a miracle, to have most of it come back to me abruptly in March 2023, after 3 years unable to enjoy a bit of chocolate or a nice gratin. Some tastes are lost forever, but so few compared to what came back that I just can only be very very grateful and very confident in saying SPICY SWEET SAVOURY I'LL TAKE THEM ALL. I LOVE TASTES. ALL OF THEM.

Relationship status: I have been told polyamory looks good on me.

And I am lucky to have the most patient and tolerant lovers ever. EVER. I love them so much and I'm so bad at showing it because I am a mess. There isn't a day where my heart doesn't overflow with gratitude that they are in my life and agree to putting up with my bullshit.

Current obsession: Listen, Mew put it SO ELOQUENTLY I can help but quote:

mentally ill traumatised japanese teenagers and their ancient egyptian guys who hang out in their jewellery all playing card games.

So, yeah, current obsession is Yu-Gi-Oh!, and with it Duel Links, and everything children-card-game-adjacent. I am currently trying to figure out why everyone in this kid's show is so hot and delightfully traumatised. Characters after my own heart, all ready to be projected on and used for cathartic writing purposes. Other obsession is MEW'S FAULT TOO ACTUALLY since it's my newly founded Clan in Flight Rising. Ask me about my dragon Atem.

Favourite colour: I like my colour like my wine—burgundy. (I actually like all sort of shades of purple, violet and red, but I don't know how to list them.)

Tagging: Wow uh who do I know around here who is still active?

@twilightknight17 for sure (although I'm sure you already did it), @wingsonghalo maybe? Uuuh, I think @the-wanderer-of-thoughts and @istadris? You know, considering how inactive I am here, I think it's already a lot, but if you're not in the list and want to do it too, be my guest!

[unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men]

18+ no minors please this is an NSFW blog with mature topics discussed,any ageless,blank blogs will be blocked.Sorry not sorry!

Mun is 40, she/her

Asks and DM's are always open, feel free to ask me anything 

I have 5 muses right now that I can currently RP with (Bio for them will follow) so when sending asks or dms please specify who you're interested in rp'ing with.

I do work (I hate it there) and will try and respond appropriately, so if it seems like it's taking a while for me to reply or answer and ask just feel free to let me know (sometimes notifications get buried too) Do not get mad and or angry

SFW and NSFW are fine and depending on what it is either send it in an ask, or I can be tagged in it. Try to keep the spicer stuff for asks.

No hate, rudeness, homophobia,racism, transphobia or misogyny I will block you and not feel bad about it, again sorry not sorry

If you want to plot something, have an idea for a story line? Send me a DM and we can come up with something

If you want to remain an anon please assign yourself and emoji

Dark/violent story lines can be done just discuss them in DM's first, and both parties have to agree on things.

Limits: scat, watersports,feet, age play and pet play (if you're unsure if something is a limit of mine please ask first)

Story lines will be separate unless both parties agree on it

Do not bring drama,hate,trash talking,ultimatums. No jealousy towards role play partners, not lying and no spamming. Just be smart about things, I do have a life outside of Tumblr but I will try my hardest to reply and answer asks I just ask that everyone be courteous and decent. I will not tolerate any of this and you will be blocked.

Muse list after read more

Dean Winchester

“I’m Dean Winchester, I’m an Aquarius, like long walks on the beach and frisky women. Me and my brother Sammy hunt the things that go bump in the night, yeah that’s right we’re hunters. Family business and all. There isn’t anything I won’t do to protect my brother, even if it means sacrificing myself. My car Baby is the best Sammy and I  have a lot of memories in it and it's been in some tough situations but it’s always dependable unlike most people, oh and I love pie and classic rock. Remember driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cake hole. So if you think you have a ghost problem or maybe some ghoul stuff give me a call”

Lloyd Hansen

“Hello Sunshine! I don’t know why I need to say anything about myself. I should be pretty well known by now, but sure let me tell you about my favorite subject…me. I used to work for the CIA but then I decided why not freelance and be my own boss, which means my own rules. I’m sure everyone wants to know why I left the CIA, well it’s simple. I like doing things in lets say non ethical, non legal ways and that ruffled some feathers I guess, too bad for them I guess. Sent me to do a job to get some flash drive and had the biggest thorn in my ass….Court Gentry, dickhead messed up my hand and well that was my torture and shooting hand. Need something dealt with Sunshine you know how to find me”

Ransom Drysdale

“I don’t like you and I can guarantee you won’t like me,but you’ll probably love my money, well my family's money. I’ve been called many names, some of my favorite Trust Fund prick, asshole, jerk and many more, but what’s funny is everyone once you find out you have money everyone has their grubby hands out. I’m probably the most interesting, fascinating person you will ever meet and I will make your dull little life exciting. The only person I care about is me, myself and I, and when I found out my grandfather was cutting me out of his will, well I couldn’t let that happen could I did what I had too. And what was that you ask, you didn’t ask? Well too bad I’m telling you anyway, nothing short of murder (twice, wow I know) and I tried to frame the help. Just a normal day when you have money, so if I’m bored I might want to talk depends on my mood.

Rebecca Allen

Rebecca Allen was a woman with a bright future, that all changed the day she became Pandora Celestia. The day was ordinary until it wasn’t, the explosion should have killed her but instead it turned her into something more. As she lay close to death the terrigen mist enveloped her,keeping death away and giving her powers beyond her knowledge. Visions, terrible and horrible, are always destined to come true. She was able to peer inside of people’s minds and sway them to her will, and after enough practice could hone her powers into a physical weapon.

And thus Pandora Celestia was born, the powers she wielded terrified her and every time she feared she would lose control and either she would be destroyed or the power would over take her. Eventually she learned to hide her powers hoping that one day she could learn to control them and use them for good. Trying to help those she can, she's always vigilant to not over use her powers but to do everything she can to help anyone who needs it.

(art from Pinterest)

Cassandra Pendragon “Cassie”

Age: 200+ (long life from powerful witchcraft and being a shifter)

Cassandra Pendragon or Cassie as was called by friends, came from a long line of witches going all the way back to King Authur. She was rather proud of that aspect of her family tree, it gave her some credibility in case her skills were ever questioned. And it wasn’t often that her skills were questioned, but mistakes could be made. Speaking of mistakes, the other half of her family was what most people in the witch/magic community deemed “Undesirable” ; it was always thought that being a shifter made magic weak. Cassie on the other hand found that to not be the case, in fact she felt her magic was stronger for it. When she shifted her magic complimented her form, she became what she called a mystic wolf.

Abilities: Powerful spells and hexes, the ability to turn into a wolf or cat

Once witches and shifters alike found out about her she was shunned by both groups, witches feared the amount of power she had, and shifters didn’t normally trust witches so this made them even more wary. After taking various odd jobs, one went south and a witch and shifter were killed.Cassie received the blame and was hunted, always on the run she did what she had to in order to survive. She wasn’t against killing but it was only done if there was no other option. While on the run she realized she could turn into a simple house cat. Being a house cat was great to gather information and hide. Deciding she needs to set her name right she sets out to find the real killers so she can go back to her “normal life”

Ophelia Deathholme

Age: 40

Abilities: Can resurrect the dead, can communicate with the dead and has the abilities of the dead she encounters.

(dividers made by @saradika-graphics) (art from Pinterest)

Necromancy the practice of communicating with the dead in order to predict the future, that was at least the actual definition of the word.To Ophelia Deathholme it was more than just the plot to a book or movie it was part of her job, she used her talents to raise the dead working as a coroner for the police. The dead needed a voice, someone to get them justice, to help their families move on, to help the departed to move on. Initially she was met with skepticism. People thought she was taking advantage of the families by giving them “false” hope, that changed when she brought back a young woman who had been brutally murdered.

The family and officers were in the room and Ophelia kept trying to tell them all that her story wasn’t over, after being told numerous times to just do her job she took matters into her own hands. Normally the bigger the sacrifice the bigger the return, since all Ophelia needed was the young woman to speak she just used a small amount of her own blood. Speaking the words she knew too well the young woman sat up staring at Ophelia, the family was shocked and one of the cops passed out. Ophelia looked at the woman, her voice soft “Who killed you?” The young woman swallowed hard and paused as if trying to figure out the answer. 

Everyone watched as the woman began to point, suddenly the lights went out and movement could be heard. Suddenly screaming broke out, then nothing, Ophelia backed up until she was touching the dead woman. She felt a whisper in her ear “He will find you little necromancy he wants your power by any means necessary.” Swallowing hard Ophelia the lights turned on and she was shocked at what she saw, everyone in the room was dead and arranged to spell her first name.

The young woman looks at her family sadly before turning back to Ophelia “He has been watching you, watching your power grow until the time is right. He will come for you and try and tempt you, do not allow him to. He will destroy the world and you will be his tool” The young woman coughs hard and smiles “Thank you for giving me justice, my father killed me in a fit of anger and now I can rest” The young woman motions Ophelia to move closer “We the dead wish to help you, we shall lend you our gifts for you will need them.” The air changes and Ophelia gasps as she feels power flowing into her, falling to the floor she passes out.

Waking hours later she feels strangely refreshed,standing she cries out in pain. Finally standing she makes her way to a sink and looks in the mirror at a large jagged wound across her face.

“Great just great” “I recommend cleansing the wound and then applying butterfly bandages to the wound” Looking Ophelia sees a young nurse, quickly realizing that she was a ghost. The ghost smiles and bows and walks over to Ophelia and walks into her, her eyes roll back into her head as she begins taking care of her wounds. Once finished the ghost leaves Ophelia’s body and bows again before leaving, gasping as she sits on the floor, realizing that now not only can she raise the dead  but they can use their skills to help her. Realizing she has this power she uses it to still help the dead but now must figure out who has been watching her and why.

[zmyaro]

Experimental Twitter (And Mastodon) “Collections”

(If you only follow me on Tumblr and don't care about experiments with other social media platforms, you can ignore this.)

In 2015, Google+ added Collections, which let you group your posts by topic.  A collection could be public or limited, and people could choose to follow specific collections from you instead of all or nothing.  I post and reshare posts about a lot of different topics—just in recent weeks, they included accessibility, the Barbie movie, bail reform, LLMs, game dev, mental health care, Mario Kart, Mastodon, Metroid, police accountability, Portal, public transit, SongZ, Star Trek: Picard, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Tears Of The Kingdom, trans rights, Twitter, and various web development topics.  Obviously Google+ is gone, and none of the big 3 social media platforms has added collections since, but there are still people who are not interested in seeing all of those topics, so I am trying a new experiment.

You can now follow @ZMYaroFandom, @ZMYaroPolitics, and @ZMYaroWork on Twitter (or @ZMYaroFandom, @ZMYaroPolitics, and @ZMYaroWork on Mastodon (@mastodon.social)) to get just the posts in those “collections”.  I will probably never post from those accounts, just RT things from @ZMYaro that are relevant to them, so if you want to keep following my main, you don't need to do anything.  For people who don't know me who came more for police accountability or web development and less for my Metroid and Star Trek ramblings, though, this may be preferable.

This is not a perfect system, but I want to try it for a few months, at least, and see how it goes.  With multi-account support in Elk, Twitter for Android, and TweetDeck, I am not too worried about the effort on my end.  My biggest worry is potentially annoying people with double-retweets*.  I would be more concerned about how this might mess with my reach in the Twitter algorithm, but the algorithm has been, shall we say, a bit less reliable lately regardless of my shenanigans.

I also want to push myself to keep those 3 accounts authentic facets of myself.  It would be easy, for instance, to keep @ZMYaroWork a sterile, corporate-algorithm-optimized space, but that wouldn't be me, and I don't think many other people who work in the same fields as me would care for it either.  It might lean more serious than @ZMYaroFandom, but it should still have jokes, quips, and unpolished opinions.  Part of why I went through and backfilled each account was to try to find that line for each one.

As with all my social media experiments, I appreciate constructive feedback, and I certainly intend to adjust how I handle these “collection” accounts over the coming days, weeks, and months, where problems arise or I see opportunities to improve.

(*Huge apology to people I RT a lot who got hit with a ton of notifications when I was setting up these new accounts!!)

[ficclings]

hiiii, i hope u'r doing well!^^ i saw ur post abt tumblr messing up your ability to tag ppl for "lost"? i like that fic a lot & i wanna follow the story & up untill now u've been tagging me in the new chapters when they come out & thank u very muuuuch! i'm quite busy & having the notification pop up helps keeping track of the ch i gotta catch up w/ & read when i can❤ so only if u can & if u want, i would still appreciate being tagged 4 new chapters!

srry if i misunderstood what u meant in ur post & srry 4 sending it as an ask, tumblr is freaking out rn & doesn't let me comment(it was a struggle just to get it to open ur blog tbh but it is what it is w/ this website😅)

Hello! It's a fault on Tumblrs side haha I meant people who have left comments saying they want to be tagged have somewhat just disappeared for some reason; I'm not sure why so I wanted to make a separate post so I could keep the list of people (including your lovely self ^_^) to tag for future chapters!

And don't worry, I'll make sure to keep tagging you! Thank you so much for reading my fic, it honestly means a lot :)

It sucks that so many people on this site are having problems right now ^^; I can't even answer this privately lol I literally cannot click the button, well, I can, but it doesn't do anything :/

Anyways, I hope you're doing well and stay safe! x

[vividlostghost]

Oh oh that's why I'm getting really confused

tumblr defaults to the 'for you' page when you refresh or hit the t not the following page?

Why am I even following people then @staff if I'm not even going to see them naturally and have to go off to find them?? what?? why isn't there a setting to change this if you're going to have it an option I can't find one if there is

this site feels like a confused mess something just came up with on the fly how is this place as old as it is

plus because it keeps defaulting to the for you I keep thinking my posts didn't actually post because I don't see any notification saying it went and it doesn't show up in front of me

this is such bad design shit

edit: i guess there is a notification that the post posted but I swear it doesn't always show up for me. even if it's true when I did see it it was this tiny thing at the bottom of the page so far away from where my eyes are looking if the post is small and easily can be hidden depending on what's on my dash at the time

still more bad design

[bunny-hoodlum]

I have more people I wanna give this award to and tumblr is being a butt. 🥺 💔

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

@risemaclay-blog , @chloelapomme , @mysummerchoi , @ivedora , @katarinahime , @angi1993 , @peppercornpresses , @gabzilla-z , @perlmuttt , @pamiart , @kokodrawings , @shinobisdelombre ... 🥰

[masterjedilenawrites]

It's been a little over a week since I started this "thing" and wanted to share some insights from my experience thus far...

✨ I've been able to read and reblog 11 fics so far, one shots or chapters of a longfic. I have 70 more to go 😅 A couple peeps were going through and liking my whole masterlist so the tallies racked up quick.

✨ From the 6 reblogs/comments I received, I got 3hr 15min of writing time queued up. I've written for about half that time so far.

✨ The hardest part has been finding fics to read. My dash was filled with art and NSFW fics (which are both fine and dandy, but not what I was interested in). Tumblr's search function is a mess. Clicking on random blogs hoping they were writers was hit-and-miss. Rec lists usually only had the same dozen or so writers on there with super popular fics.

✨ In the mood for a specific character, pairing, or scenario? Want to find a hidden gem or an underrated writer? Good luck. If your mutuals don't reblog it, you likely won't see it without a concerted effort on your part.

✨ My solution to find writers was to make this post. I now have a list of 221 writers to choose from, and it's ever-growing!

✨ It's actually been super easy to come up with a lot of solutions to the common excuses for not reading or reblogging. There really aren't a lot of valid excuses.

✨ An unintended outcome was a shift in mood in my notifications. Instead of feeling bummed about receiving a mere like, I now chuckle... Haha sucker, you thought you could get away with a half-ass display of appreciation? Well joke's on you, I'm gonna make somebody else's day now and show what real fandom interaction looks like.

✨ On that note, the best part: supporting other writers. All 11 fics I reblogged then got additional likes and reblogs from my followers. In fact, I tallied it up: 52, about 4-5 per fic on average. Most were likes of course, but still plenty of reblogs. And I think all of the writers of those fics responded as well, and I could feel how happy they were to get activity on their stories. Which then made me feel happy and want to find more to reblog!

I know a lot of this is anecdotal evidence, but I think it's telling. One reblog could lead to a really positive thing happening in the fandom, whether it's brightening a writer's day by acknowledging their talent and hard work, or whether it's helping your followers find new things to read on a platform with terrible search functions. I highly encourage other writers who feel down about lack of interaction on their work to first consider how often you interact with others yourself. How can you ask for something you are unwilling to give? And when you do get interaction, why not reciprocate?

I'm excited to keep going with this and hope to see others inspired to interact more and be the change they want to see. 🤗 Peace, love, and pina coladas my friends! 🍹

Oh also... I may start compiling what I read onto a list? Like a rec list I guess, if that's of interest to anyone?

Okay, I’m going to try a thing.

Partially inspired by @clonethirstingisreal and her post about writers taking the initiative to read more to boost engagement in the fandom… and partially a random idea I had a couple weeks ago to push myself to carve out time to write more since I’ve been slacking.

For every interaction I receive on my writing (fics, headcanons, etc, not random posts like this), I will meaningfully interact with someone else’s writing as well as schedule time for myself to work on one of my WIPs. Specifically, I’m going to break it down as…

🩷 A like = I will read and reblog a fic from another (random) writer

💞 A reblog (empty or with generic tags) = I will read and reblog a fic from another (random) writer + schedule 15 min to work on a WIP

💓 A comment (here or AO3) = I will read and reblog a fic from that writer + schedule 30 min to work on a WIP

💝 A reblog (with substantial content and/or tags) = I will read and reblog a fic from that writer + schedule 60 min to work on a WIP

If the person commenting or reblogging is not a writer themselves, then I’ll pick someone else at random (or art for any artists out there). And I’ll try to schedule any WIP time same-week just to keep myself motivated there.

But yeah… thought I’d share this little idea in case others may be interested in trying something similar! Though we may not always expect it, I think it’s appreciated when engagement is reciprocated. You read my thing, I’ll read your thing. You share my stuff with your followers, I’ll share your stuff with mine. And then maybe somewhere along the way we get enough people sharing and engaging to where the fandom is that happy, active space we all talk about wanting? ✨Be the change you want to see✨

[tittyblade]

tumblr etiquette 101

a list that is nowhere near exhaustive, from yours truly.

First off, welcome! Whether you’re a twitter veteran looking for anything but whatever twitter is, or a new user just done signing up, glad to see you in our ranks beloveds! Welcome home. Refer to this quick tour to make sure your fandom experience (or tumblr experience in general) is a positive one!

Disclaimer: I know it’s long, but please try to read or skim through til the end if you’re new here! This is by no means meant to be a rule book (for the most part lol), only a guide to help you get settled easier!

1) Your blog

This is where people will see and interact with you, so put some effort into it!

Try to choose a name (url) that’s simple. You can see it as your brand, it’s how people will perceive you and remember you. If you’d like to interact with other users here (and not use the site just for the content) it’s better to have something short and sweet, preferably without spaces. (Of course, these are only suggestions.) Rest assured, you can change it literally any time you want.

Have a theme. Utilize the tool that lets you edit your blog’s color or the font of your bio! You can make it match your profile picture, or your blog if it has a theme of its own. Make it feel homey :]

Fill in your bio. People will be checking out your profile probably more often than you think. Don’t leave it empty! Put in any information you’re comfortable with sharing and isn’t too personal (like your age if you’re a minor, or other TMI that can be found on other people’s carrds). It’s always better to add a name/nickname people can use to refer to you by, but feel free to use your blog description to shitpost still.

You can have an intro post. More often than not, you’ll see a blog have a pinned post, a post permanently appearing at the top of a blog until you pin another post or unpin it. You can make one of those, if you’d like to introduce yourself in more length, link any other socials or a carrd, and show others visiting your blog how you tag things so it’ll be easy for them to navigate. Not an obligation.

Keep your anonymity and your safety. It should go without saying, but there’s no harm in repeating it just in case. Your comfort, privacy and safety has the utmost importance. Don’t share any information you don’t want to. Don’t share your age if you’re a minor, or any other incredibly personal info. I’d encourage you to go by a nickname that’s not your real name, (blog name, your brand, remember?) since there’s safety in anonymity, and that’s lowkey one of the big deals of tumblr, but that’s up to you still.

Choose what you want to be visible. Your liked posts and who you follow are all things you can set to keep to yourself and hide from the publics eye, how handy! You should go through all the setting while you’re at it, set it to your comfort.

Side blogs are a thing. You can have multiple blogs that you can use for different things (see: different fandoms, art blog, etc) to keep them organized or away from your followers. Just remember that the replies and off-anon asks you send will be from your main blog, as well as where you follow other blogs from.

2) Interacting with others

You’ve set up your account, now comes the fun part!

Follow to your heart’s desire. If you care about others seeing who you follow, fear not! In tumblr, usually only two types of blogs keep their following visible to others: newbies, and big blogs using it to point people on other good blogs’ direction. Just turn it off, and go ham following people.

Customize your dashboard. Gonna mention just two things here: this is another reason why it’s really important that you follow blogs without sparing, your dash will collect dust otherwise; and you should turn off “best stuff first” in your dashboard settings, to have a better community here and all.

Follow tags. You can set it in your settings that posts with your followed tags appear on your dashboard.

You can check the og post for edits and context. When you see a reblogged post you don’t understand the context of (or don’t recognize the character in case of fanarts), click on the profile so it will take you to the original post. From there you can check the original poster’s tags to get the context, or see if there have been any edits made to the post, since when you edit a post it doesn’t update any past reblogs.

Send people asks... This is how you make mutuals, people! Do it off-anon if you’d like them to know your blog, or anon if you’d rather not! (You can still end your messages with a signature to show you’re the same person, -[name] is one example.) Send them nice messages, ask their opinion on something, discuss things, or just straight up shitpost lol. Go wild. The sky’s your limit and it’s definitely more than 280 characters.

...and let them ask you! You can set your preference in the settings, do it on desktop tumblr to access more settings tho! What you can customize on mobile is limited (like letting people ask you things anonymously, that’s only on desktop settings). In my personal opinion, it’s always better to tag their username (or a nickname you give them, if they’re a friend) on that post, since you wouldn’t want your interactions with your friends to get buried in your blog forever.

Comment on posts. If you have something to say but don’t want the post to appear on your blog you can add a comment. The owner of the post will get a notif for it, but for anyone else you need to tag them.

For the love of god, reblog. People will only see your liked posts if you have it visible to public and they specifically go on your blog to look at them. You like something? You reblog. It’s already hard for posts to circulate properly, if you don’t reblog them literally no one will see them. If not for anything do it for the artists. Just hold and drag on mobile to fast rb.

3) Your Posts

Finally here! Don’t be a lurker, post and engage!

Make use of “read more”. If your post is long, add it. That’s what you clicked on earlier to expand this post. On desktop leave an empty line and you’ll see three dots appear, and on mobile type :readmore: on that empty line.

Draft a post to come back to it later. Pretty self explanatory.

Queue your post. Whether it’s your own post or you’re reblogging, make use of the queue feature to a) not spam reblog and fill up the dashboard of people following you and b) keep your blog active while you’re gone. Mess around in the settings, it’s fairly easy to set up.

Schedule your post. Same as queueing, the only difference is you get to choose the exact time your post will go up. Handy if you want to schedule a post for certain dates like april fools, or 5 years in the future for some reason. 

Format your texts. You can do all kinds of fancy stuff here (that’s a link, try pressing on it). Twitter doesn’t have this, make use of it. Changes depending on whether you’re on mobile or desktop. (Desktop has less features.)

Check your stats. If you’re trying to understand the algorithm better or want to look at some pretty graphs you can get your data on that on desktop tumblr.

@ people in comments. You’ll get all the notifs when people comment on your posts but they won’t see your reply unless you tag them in your message.

4) Tags, and tagging a post

This is where my earlier statement “this isn’t a rule book” stops being applicable. It’s not a war crime to go against these, I won’t come chasing you (don’t take my word for this) but you’ll work up a bad rep. Just saying lol.

Do NOT crosstag posts. It’s really tempting to add unrelated tags to increase your posts’ interaction, I know, but that’s not what tumblr is about. Don’t be a dick and make other communities’ experience worse for them.

Always tag your posts with “crit/critical/discourse/etc” if it calls for it. There’s no exceptions to it. This is the reason you see people migrating to tumblr. Let people enjoy things.

Don’t main tag a critical/negative post. If your crit post is about “Thing”, you add the “Thing critical” tag, but not the “Thing” tag. People block crit tags if they don’t want to see it, don’t shove it in their faces by main tagging it. 

If you don’t want to see something, just block it. Another reason why people are able to survive on tumblr. You don’t start discourse, you don’t make call-outs, you block. You can find something for every community you can think of if you go looking for it. The worst of the worst probably won’t ever appear on your dash, but if you’re worried or feel the need for it, you know where the block button is.

Feel free to shitpost or ramble. More often than not you’ll see people rb a post with a comment, and their elaboration will be in the tags. The tags are only visible on your profile and the notifications of the owner of the og blog. Just a thing people do.

Reblog artists’ posts with nice comments in the tags! Commenting on a drawing is usually done through the tags (Not an obligation, again, just a thing people do. Feel free to add your comment on the rb itself if you’d want other people to see it tho!) and leave nice messages for the artists! It’s a win-win for everyone involved. 

If you have more than a single follower, always use the common tw warning tags. You don’t need to tw everything, but tw’ing some common things is the bare minimum human decency. Keep it safe for others. 

Tag a post “long post” if it’s really long. Pretty self explanatory. Don’t make people scroll through all that please lol. 

You can use them to organize your blog. This is more of a pro tip, if you’d like to not miss a post in your blog, cause they will start pilin’ up soon enough.

#Liveblogging is pretty fun. If you’d like to talk to people during streams, don’t forget to add the relevant tags still! Again, you won’t show up on people’s dash otherwise.

Whew! That got out of hand. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much. Check out blogs like @heritageposts and @hellsite-hall-of-fame to honor our past o7. @mcytblr-hall-of-fame too maybe :eyes:. Anyways, don’t forget the most important rule of them all:

Enjoy your stay! You’re meant to have fun on here while also making friends (if that’s your thing). Just be kind and respectful of others, you’ll get the hang of the rest! <3

[spnfanficpond]

Hi! I have a question regarding feedback and writing that may be difficult to answer. If you don't have any advice it's totally okay to ignore! Basically my problem is I'm losing confidence in my writing. Logically I know I'm still a good writer but it hurts that confidence when I struggle for notes when I once got them with far less followers. I've tried the whole write for me thing and it helps but even so it's become a battle of I'm not going to write this well or even decent so why bother? I must be writing poorly if no one likes/interacts/etc. anymore is where my head jumps. This has been going on for months and months now. It got bad towards the end of SPN but it's only gotten worse. I've taken breaks, reduced the amount of content I put out, changed it, etc. But nothing changes. I can't even get myself to write for me anymore because I think it's not worth it. I know other writers struggle with this too but I'm starting to feel like it's impacting my enjoyment of writing. Do you have any advice for getting your writing confidence back?

Michelle here!

What you're talking about here is SO COMMON, lately. Seriously. I don't know a writer around here that hasn't expressed frustration about this at some point in the past few years. I chatted with Mel a bit, and I hope we've come up with something more than just "write for yourself" since you mentioned that's no longer working for you.

I'm going to attack this question like it's actually three questions.

Why is my audience dwindling?

How do I deal with the lack of feedback from my dwindling audience?

How do I rebuild my own confidence in my writing?

First, why is my audience dwindling?

The SPN Fan Fiction Audience is Shrinking

I put that in big, bold, red letters because I absolutely believe it's true. Especially here on Tumblr, the number of readers of specifically SPN fan fiction is shrinking. There are a few factors for this:

The "Best Stuff First" Tumblr Algorithm Disaster - This was the first time in my memory (I've only been here since 2015, so it's possible there might be earlier events I don't know about) that I started hearing about the number of notes on fics dropping dramatically. Everyone was urged to turn off the "Best Stuff First" option on their dashboard, but that didn't seem to help. Like all social media platforms, there are recommendations made when you're looking for something, and those recommendations are made up of posts that are already most popular. This leaves new posts by new writers in the dust to wither. (It didn't do anything great for even the most popular writers, either.) Only die-hard loyal fans and those the writer tagged could keep up with new content.

The Great Tumblr Porn Purge Suckfest - When the Purge happened, we lost a portion of readers who left Tumblr full stop. Whether they enjoyed the porn and missed it or got caught up in the mess of accounts that got deleted or shadowbanned or became nothing but pixels and couldn't deal with the fight for redemption, it doesn't matter. They left.

The Less Great Sucky Searching Snafu - Even before the porn ban, search functions just didn't work right on Tumblr as Staff tried to find quiet ways to keep porn from appearing on screens. The latest Apple App Apocalypse is just an extension of that. This means that even if you do everything right, your post still won't show up when someone searches for it for any number of reasons.

The Tumblr Tagging Malfunction Cluster - The fact that tagging people on Tumblr just doesn't work SO OFTEN just sucks balls. I don't know if anyone else is seeing this lately, but I've been getting a rash of notifications recently for posts from 2017! I obviously didn't get the notification at the time, so WTF Tumblr? FIVE YEARS??? It's terrible. Writers get tired of doing the work of tagging (though with the new post editor it's LOADS easier) and then readers still not seeing the posts. Library blogs and app push notifications have helped, but it's an adjustment.

The Show Ending Debacle - I think a lot of us knew that we would lose casual readers after the show ended, but we didn't expect the fandom-dividing ending that sucked a lot of loyal fans out of the fandom, too. (Personally, I'm not a fan of the last two episodes, but I love the other 325 --except maybe Bugs-- and the people behind the show, so I'm here for life.) I know of a few writers who lost the desire to write for SPN after the show ended, so I imagine the same is true for some readers. Even some of those that loved the ending may have left because it's just over. They're moving on to new shows and new fandoms and they just aren't interested in SPN stuff anymore.

The General Balls-Up Car Wreck That Is The World '20's Style - Some folks dove into fandom as an escape. Some folks didn't have that luxury. Life got hard, y'all. People dying everywhere can make fan fiction seem silly and inconsequential. We lost folks who suddenly didn't have time because they have kids who needed to be home schooled or grandparents who needed home care. Working from home on your laptop all day makes you really not want to spend more time on your laptop, even for fun stuff.

Did you notice what's NOT on this list? Your writing. Most likely, your loss of audience has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of your writing. There is a huge list of things you could be doing to lose followers (yelling at them, being rude, and stuff like that, but if you were, you wouldn't have ever had a following), and at the very bottom of the list would be anything to do with your actual writing.

Putting the rest of this under a cut since this is getting pretty long.

B. How do I deal with the lack of feedback from my dwindling audience?

There are a couple of options for you here: Work to expand your audience and focus on only a small portion of your audience.

Expanding your audience on Tumblr is near to impossible, but not completely impossible. There are still a couple of things you can do. (Side note: We are working on a series of posts coming soon that will go into some of this in more detail.)

Interact positively with your audience - Say thank you when someone reblogs your work. Go to their blog and reblog some of their work. Take requests. Something I haven't seen in years is to do a blog takeover by a character. (You take asks on your blog as an SPN character for a certain period of time. RP, in a way.)

Submit your stories to blogs that reblog for you like we do, or @dirtysupernaturalimagines. (Know of any other blogs that reblog fics? Let us know and we'll add them here!)

Join bangs and writing challenges - The admins who run these things will reblog the stories involved on their blog and you will get more exposure that way.

If you've already done all of that, then consider expanding to other platforms. Get an AO3 account. Set up a handle on Twitter for just your writing and interact with readers there. Find an artist to team up with (you can do this easily by joining a bang) and have them hype you on their Instagram or Twitter in exchange for you doing the same for them.

While you're working hard to expand your audience you can also narrow your focus to just a handful of people. Instead of looking for quantity in your feedback, look for quality. Find people who will honestly tell you whether they like your writing and make them your alpha, beta, or omega readers. Focus on what this core group of people say and consider anyone else who gives you kudos as icing on the cake.

3. How do I rebuild my own confidence in my writing?

So far, everything mentioned has nothing to do with your writing. That's because the loss of notes and followers and feedback probably has nothing to do with your writing. I doubt even Robbie Thompson could get notes in this fandom's current climate.

Most importantly, I'm going to repeat what I said above. Instead of looking at quantity of feedback, look for quality. Find people you like and respect, whose work you admire, and focus on them. Instead of judging your writing on numbers, which can have little to no relation to your writing skills, judge your writing based on how a handful of honest reviewers feel about it.

Also, consider writing for a newer fandom or in any other way switching things up. The Tumblr SPN fan fiction audience is dwindling, so find an audience that's growing and write for them. Getting feedback from a whole new set of people might reenergize you and get you back to your keyboard again.

I hope this has helped you out! If anyone else has some tips or advice, please reblog or reply with your comments! Sharing is how we all learn!

[castiel-left-his-mark-on-me]

Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

[pyrten]

Post about Tumblr etiquette and basic stuff that I'm trying to make as entertaining and colourful as possible because I have the attention span of a stick and if I saw long paragraphs like this too, i would go " I will scroll ".

Part 2: here you go. it’s very short, i think. 

CW! Twitter discourse (indicated, Techno's boundaries being broken. sleepytwt disbanding??, it's short, don't worry).

Hi hi hello to you all coming from Twitter after whatever the fuck happened. Sit down have a drink, take a sip, have a cookie (...cept for chocolate chip, those are mine). It's pretty safe here as long as nobody drags in the cousin we all dislike.

Tags, hashtags, not shopping tags.

We use the tags as a filtering system, basically. Like stuff about:

Tubbo in general? #tubbo .

Stuff about character Tubbo? #c!tubbo / #c!Tubbo .

Stuff about content creator Tubbo? #cc!Tubbo / #cc!tubbo.

etc. etc.

We try to keep positive stuff in the main tags (in general tags), occasionally there will be stuff about Twitter or negativity about them but generally, as far as I've seen, they aren't heavy, or they are but they're pretty solid arguments that aren't like, loud, yelling, or gives off that vibe, I suppose.

#cw!__ / #tw!__ / #neg!__ / #__ crit+ more can be tagged if needed or requested (as in, if the tag isn't already there). Depends on who runs the blog. Whether you need to send in a ask, or just reply to the post, or DM. Up to the person to runs the blog.

-- if there's more I'll add, when I think of them later --

Reblog button my beloved

I'm not : hey I study the algorithm I know shit!

But IG and Twitter runs on likes / retweets. Tumblr runs on reblogs. yeah, yeah, that small button that's like, circular next to the heart.

Looks like recycling, something the government failed to incorporate well. Looks like the recycling symbol doesn't it? yeah it just lacks one arrow and it's not a triangle.

Liking posts? Great that's nice buddy, thank you (not /s)

Reblogging? Mmmmmmm THATS THE SHIT. SEEING THAT IN MY NOTIFS? serotonin. absolutely.

please, it's like the one thing that's keeping this platform afloat and information / works spreading. also it helps spreads the post. Liking doesn't do much, most it does is be a bookmark just so you can look for that post later.

"but I don't want my blog to be flooded with stuff I reblog!" No, no, dude (gender neutral), that's how you get people to follow and find your stuff. You really worried about people being annoyed, can't find what you actually post? Refer to part 1, tags as a filtering system. Make a reference post or whatever, pin it to your profile or make a Carrd, link that stuff. If people are really that lazy to go to the hashtag, doom scrolling works for them.

Filtering, yes great mechanic.

Filtering, now, this isn't for other people to find your stuff and save them time of scrolling. It's somewhat related to the tagging system of Tumblr but it's for yourself this time, very cool.

- Gear icon. Top right corner of your profile.

- Account settings.

- Filtering.

Two options : tag filter and content filter.

Tags filter is self-explanatory. You enter the tag you don't wanna see, and done. You'll never see that tag, or any posts that have that tag again.

Content filter filters posts with certain text content. Certain- as in the text you've entered, and decided you never wanna see em.

Congratulations, your eyes didn't lose HP today.

Bruh when was this posted.

Haven't used Tumblr on a laptop for a while, but I'm pretty sure it says, uh somewhere.

But on phone:

Three dots. Top right of the post.

There it is, like, rightttt there, above that rectangle pop up thing, there's the date. Have fun seeing how dead some blogs are.

My post is getting drowned :(

Uh, reblog your own post or pin it to your own profile. That works.

So does the post drowning and disappearing into oblivion. Tapping a button requires a lot of work and if ya don't want to, shruggie.

Ayo, if you're gonna justify something about someone or any situation, be specific and as clear as you possibly could, if you mess up a little with your argument, that's fine. Edit button is a pencil on the post, you can make another post or reblog the OG post to clarify.

Use tone indicators. There are neurodivergent people on this platform, like, every platform basically. Save us some worrying and head scratching.

Use the tone indicators, and don't use them as a joke (unless it's between like close moots, and your uh following gets it then yeah I suppose that's fine, but clarify in the tags would be great).

Typing out /insert_acronym_here isn't a time consuming thing. ( A simple Google search of Reddit tone indicators can give you a list if you need it ).

Last thing I can really think of is: the hashtags is where all the short hot takes, that good shit, is.

Not just in general, in posts too ;) .

also why are people on Twitter spreading the #kick____ with saying that you shouldn't do that. Your intentions are great m8, but uh, ಠ◡ಠ that's a... It's a method.

k welcome to tumblr. Each app has their like etiquette, this is Tumblr's or the most I can think of. no you can't have my chocolate chip cookies, have a good stay.

I'm going to bed like man, I'm sleepy. (Also since people is coming in because of like, the stuff related to SBI going on twitter, gonna mainly tag that. Hope that's chill)

Also, it's Ramadan. claps, Ramadan Mubarak, have a good one y'all. (whispers hey, hey send some love to fellow Muslims, hope you're doing well.)

Edit:

15/4/2021 , 6.42 PM --- Filtering (new section)

[lokifantasies]

Father and Daughter PART 2

Jade and Loki talk.

Follow Jade here!

Follow Loki here!

Read the Mischievous Life series here!

"Don't at me," Jade orders sadly as the Tumblr notification pops up on her phone – letting her know that her father is still desperately trying to get her to let him in.

"I'm sorry," Loki says – looking at the picture of his gorgeous daughter. "I just...I wish you'd let me in so I can look you in the eyes."

Jade scoffs. "Why? So you can see my heart crack even more? Wanna watch the tears you cause glisten in my eyes before they fall?"

Loki gives himself a fond smile. "Do you have any idea how absolutely petrified I was when your mother told me she was actually pregnant with you?" Jade remains quiet – wanting to try to believe in what the God of Mischief is telling her. "When I first saw you – the first ultrasound – I cried in the doctor's office – without caring who saw – my pride was in the small being on the screen. You were merely the size of a peanut, but I already loved you more than I've ever loved anything in my long life. To be honest, I secretly wished you would've been a son – I knew that if you were a daughter – I'd never stop worrying. I knew I'd mess up like this, and I still did it. The moment I held you in my arms for the very first time, I swore to every God and Fate to do anything it took to protect you from harm – to keep your heart whole and happy – your view of the world untarnished and pure."

"Great job on that," Jade tearfully scoffs – wiping her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie. "Really...fan-fucking-tastic."

Loki's head falls back to the door – making a small thumping sound. "You're growing up too fast, and I don't know how to deal with it," he finally confesses. "I know I can't stop you from becoming an adult. You'll be driving in a few months – going off to college in a couple of years..."

"Can we get to the part where you lie to me?" Jade asks impatiently – wanting to get this over with so she can be alone.

Loki sighs. "I need you to know how much I love you, Jade," he repeats through the door. "You're my first-born daughter and my best friend." Jade keeps quiet – signaling Loki to keep going. "When Evan attacked you that night...I began wondering and panicking over the what-ifs...What if you hadn't trusted me enough to call for me? What if he had forced you into something? What if he ended up getting his way with you?"

"The what-ifs don't matter," Jade argues softly. "He didn't."

"I know," Loki clears his throat. "But my mind wandered even further. What if he had forced himself on you – stealing your virginity away?"

Jade chuckles in annoyance. "Then I'd hope you would've actually murdered him!" she exclaims. "Get to the point already."

Loki closes his eyes – wishing he didn't have to do this, but he knows he has to. "If he had, then you would've realized that I lied to you when I told you the spell I used on your mother...also applies to you." Jade scoffs and leans her head against the door – reaching her hand up and unlocking the door. Loki hears the door unlock, and he stands up to slowly turn the nob – to his joy, the door opens, and Jade is sitting on her bed with her legs crossed – her stuffed giraffe hugged tightly. Slowly, Loki makes his way to the bed, sitting on the edge and looking down to the floor – the sight of her tears hurting too much. "I'm sorry, my love," he apologizes again. "I tried to stop you from growing up...I know it was wrong. I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness again, but please understand how terrifying it is to watch you grow up, become an independent adult, and move on with your life...never needing me anymore."

Tears fall from Jade's blue eyes as her father talks – hating herself right now more than anyone else. To Loki's surprise, Jade throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly – sobbing into his long hair. Feeling relieved yet heartbroken over hearing Jade cry, Loki wraps his arms around her torso and gently rubs her back – not saying anything as she breaks completely.

"I'm so sorry," Loki whispers once more as he kisses Jade's head.

"Thank you," Jade finally manages to say through her shaky breaths.

Loki raises an eyebrow. "For what?"

"Lying," Jade says – pulling back from the embrace to look at her father. Loki's confused expression results in her explaining herself. "I believed you," Jade starts, "if I hadn't believed you...I would've hated myself."

Loki wraps her back in his arms, and Jade lets him. "My love, you are by far the most indecisive person I've ever known," he chuckles.

"No, dad," Jade corrects. "I'm angry that you lied to me, but I'm grateful for the lie. Can I tell you a secret?"

Loki smiles and lets go of Jade. "You can always tell me a secret."

"Just between us?"

"Pinky-swear," Loki promises, holding out his pinky and waiting for Jade to hook hers.

"If I hadn't believed you, then I would hate myself because I almost had sex with Evan the night before he tried to...you know," Jade confesses – her dad's eyes widening. "I wanted to...so bad, but he refused to wear a condom, and I kept thinking about what you said, so I made up an excuse to leave." Loki lips curve into a smile. "Now, after what he did, or tried to do...I know he wasn't the one to give my hetero-virginity to."

Loki smiles proudly and holds his daughter once more. "Has anyone ever told you how smart you are?"

"I'm sorry, dad," Jade apologizes – her tone turning sorrowful.

Loki smiles warmly and continues to rub her back. "You're forgiven, my love bug."

"No," Jade cries onto his shoulder. "I said such horrible things to you – about you – don't forgive me."

"Too bad," Loki says softly. "We were both in the wrong," he admits. "I should've never lied to you, and I swear from here on out to be completely and totally open and honest with you...about anything."

Jade takes a deep breath in – trying to calm her breathing and trust her father. "But, dad...if you hadn't lied to me about that..."

"I know, sweetheart," Loki interrupts. "Perhaps...perhaps the Fates influenced the decision I made when I spoke that lie – knowing it was going to protect you in the end from making a huge mistake. Jade, I never would have lied to you for the sake of hurting you."

Jade tightens her grip around her father – wishing she could hold on forever. "I ate the apple," she confesses. Loki pulls back and holds Jade's face in his hands – trying and failing to hide the teary smile of happiness. "So, as afraid as you are of me growing up – getting older – whatever...you can forget that now – because I'll literally always be your little girl." Once again, Loki pulls the fifteen-year-old into his arms. "I love you, daddy."

"Oh, my perfect Jade," Loki sniffs. "I love you – and always will – more than you can ever know. You, my love, are the source of my joy and the center of my universe. Because of you, I know what unconditional love truly is. Please believe me when I say that I love you right now – for who you are, and I'll love you for who you decide to become in the future. I only hope that you can come to forgive yourself – knowing that I forgive you. All I want is for you to be able to believe in and trust me."

"I do," Jade says – her voice muffled in Loki's hair.

Loki smiles and holds out his hand. A green flash appears and then quickly goes away. "I think you forgot these."

Jade turns to look and chuckles at the box of chicken nuggets she had left in the living room now in her father's hand. "I did," she smiles – taking the box and opening it up – seeing the two barbeque sauces – crying and hugging her dad once more. "Do you maybe wanna share them?"

"I would be honored," Loki agrees – taking a chicken nugget and holding it up – waiting for Jade to follow. "To us...and our unbreakable bond."

Jade giggles and they touch the two nuggets together. "Cheers," she says – the two of them taking a bite and Jade resting her head on her dad's shoulder.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added!)

@radicallyred @holdmytesseract @vicmc624 @mm2305 @nms224 @clockblobber @missdforever @winchestersgirl222 @sallymagnoliaposts @darkacademictrash @yellowballoon

[zonie-az]

Tumblr.... I didn't approve of you putting my art as a gif you can search for.

I

What!?!?

So it's is the Ohio flag just using nature images. For all the colors.

I wasn't sure how to export from Photoshop to Tumblr that would keep the background blank cause Ohio's flag isn't a rectangle or anything. I wanted it background less so it could be used anywhere.

I thought it in a few different forms in my blog that I use to save posts or to throw things up and see how it look like this.

I guess one of those ways I did it made it into a gif..... And someone actually used that gif a while ago. And I got a notification saying so???? I didn't see the notification until now when I was looking for something and accidentally liked a post I already put in there. Then looked aty notifications. And saw someone used this as a gif

I don't understand. Tumblr you just take gifs that people post and just throw them in the mess of a gif finder you have.

I

I have to go look I don't think I tag it as anything. Or even wrote what it was cause I was just testing it. No one follows or looks at that blog but me.....

Am sure the Photoshop file said Ohio in it so I guess that's why it pops up for Ohio flag.

It doesn't even more of anything...

Am so confused.

[gutmeats]

[FIC] Earthquake Prank (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) (I DIED???????!!!!!!1???) | Part Two

AO3 Link | Previous Chapter (AO3 / Tumblr) | Next Chapter (currently not available

Fandom: Hollywood U

Pairing: Thomas Hunt x Avalon Hammond (M!MC)

Length: 5,643 words

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Teacher-Student Relationship, Fake Death, Canon Atypical Cursing

Summary: How do you apologize to your boyfriend after faking your death for a prank? Whatever your answer is, it's incorrect.

A/N: special thanks to my beta readers, @lame-kid-on-couch and @spacepumpkins ily smooch <3 they also beta read chapter one

Thomas Hunt watches in horror as Avalon falls through the open skylight and vanishes in the fog. “AVALON!” He screams, rushing to the edge. “Avalon! Avalon! Quickly, Ethan, downstairs! We have to--”

Ethan puts a hand on Thomas’ shoulder. “Professor… It’s too late..”

Lisa shakes her head sadly. “There’s no way Avalon survived that fall…”

“No…” Thomas stares into the smoke, kneading Avalon’s cardigan into a ball with his hands and pressing it to his chest. “I- I-” his voice breaks as he tries to speak. “I never told Avalon… how much I-- why didn’t I ever say…”

“Say what, Professor?”

Thomas whips around to see Avalon leaving the library, followed by Spencer and a few other students. “Avalon!” Relief floods his face. “You’re-! How?”

Ethan grins. “Do my eyes deceive me, or did Avalon successfully prank the Thomas Hunt?”

Lisa bounces excitedly. “We! Pranked! Hunt! We! Pranked! Hunt!”

“Is this the proudest moment of my life?” Ethan grabs Lisa’s arms and bounces with her. “Yeah! Yes, it is.”

Thomas looks in disbelief at the two bouncing happily, then at Avalon, who’s smiling- albeit somewhat sadly, and can’t meet his eyes. Slowly, he scowls. “No! You did not prank me! I never actually thought-”

Avalon tips his head to the side. “Come on, Professor. Accept defeat with a little dignity.” But even his gloating is a little flat.

Thomas stews silently for a moment, then throws Avalon’s cardigan back at him. “You may have won the day... but mark my words, I always have the last word.” And with that he turns and storms off.

Avalon reaches out to Hunt. “T-” He sighs and shakes his head, dropping his arm. After a moment, he pulls his cardigan back on and looks at his friends. “You guys owe me, big time.”

“That’s fair.” Ethan shrugs and pats Avalon’s back.

The five of them stand silently around the open skylight for a few seconds.

“So…” Lisa looks at the others. “What now?”

“I think we should clean up the screening room. We made that mess after all.” Avalon catches Bianca’s arm as she tries to slip away. “Nope. You too.”

Bianca huffs and frowns. “Isn’t that what the custodial staff is for? Why should we have to clean it up?”

“No. I’ll let the custodial staff know there’s a broken skylight out here so they can do something about the hole, but we’re cleaning it ourselves.” Avalon turns to the main building on campus. “You guys get started with the shelves and reels. I’ll be back with brooms for the broken glass. Crash, keep an eye on Bianca so she doesn’t try to get out of it.”

An hour and a half later, the five students lean against the walls and lie on the floor of the screening room. With the exception of the broken skylight, the room seems to be pretty much back in order.

“Ugh, is that it? Are we done?” Bianca moans. “Can we go home now?”

Avalon sighs and looks around the room, running a hand through his hair. “I think so… I mean, unless y'all wanna help me reinstall the skylight.”

The other four groan in response.

Avalon nods. “I thought you might say that.” Stretching, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and turns it off airplane mode. Instantly, he gets flooded with notifications. “What the hell-” He unlocks his phone and turns twitter notifications off before scrolling through them.

“What do they say?” Ethan looks over his shoulder.

“Well… it looks like a few are congratulating us for pranking Hunt…” He clicks his tongue. “...And the rest are condolences for my loss?” He squints, confused, and scrolls faster. “...Oh. Jenni tweeted that I died.”

“Oh my god!” Bianca laughs. “What did she say?”

Avalon finds the original tweet and reads it out loud. “‘OMG, just saw ‘@avasham’ fall through a skylight! Don’t think he survived. Sad days, he’s one of my close friends-’ with a frowny face, and the hashtags ‘RIP Avalon’ and ‘you will be missed’... since when was I one of her close friends?”

“Since tweeting about your death would get her a bunch of sympathy likes. Look.” Ethan points at Avalon’s phone.

Avalon rolls his eyes and types out a reply to her tweet. “‘Thanks for the condolences. Stop tweeting that I’m dead.’” He hits send and slips his phone back into his pocket. “Whatever. Since we’re done here, I’m gonna go talk to Hunt and apologize for all of us.”

“What, apologize?” Lisa jumps up. “What for?! Pranking him?”

“Yes,” Avalon says flatly. “Honestly, I think we took it way too far.”

“Well, you’re the one who jumped through the skylight!”

“Exactly. That’s why I’m going to apologize.” Avalon waves his hand and starts heading out of the room. “Y’all do whatever you want, I’m doing this.” He leaves before anyone can say anything else.

Crash watches him go, then looks at the other three. “Hey… do you guys think the professor will notice if some of his dried fruit goes missing?”

Avalon knocks gently on the door to Hunt’s office, then lets himself in without waiting for an answer. He locks the door behind him. “Hey…”

Hunt scowls. “What do you want, Avalon?”

Avalon sighs and takes a seat across from him, not meeting his gaze. “To apologize. We took our prank way too far, and that was even before I let them convince me to fall through the skylight. What we did in the basement was dangerous and stupid, and what I did after was even moreso.” He shakes his head sadly. “Most importantly, I’m sorry for putting you through that, Thomas. I was devastated when I thought you were knocked out, I can’t imagine what thinking I was dead must have been like for you.”

Hunt doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then he slowly stands up, putting his palms flat on his desk. “Don’t you ever-” he growls, but his voice quavers in a way that betrays his emotions- “scare me like that, ever again.”

Avalon looks away, ashamed, biting his lip. “I won’t. I promise.”

Hunt pulls the blinds on the window closed, then slips around his desk to grab Avalon’s hands and pull him out of the chair. He wraps his arms around Avalon, holding him close. He presses his face into the juncture between Avalon’s neck and shoulder. After a moment, he whispers, “Stay at my house. For the rest of the week. I don’t think I can let you out of my sight again after that.”

Avalon nods, turning to kiss the side of his head. “I will. I am so, so sorry.”

Hunt lifts his head, pressing a tender kiss against Avalon’s lips, and the two men stay like that for a while, holding each other in their arms.

Eventually, Hunt breaks away from the kiss and places his forehead back against Avalon’s neck with a sigh. “How am I supposed to get you home? You didn’t drive today, did you?”

“Fuck, no. I fucking hate LA traffic; Ethan gave me a ride so we could finish setting up…” Avalon gently strokes Hunt’s hair. He hums quietly in thought. “I do have an idea, but unfortunately for you, it does involve us spending about an hour with my friends.”

“Great.” Hunt grimaces and looks up at Avalon. “But I don’t think that’ll help to keep our relationship private.”

“It will if we play our cards right, but leave that to me. You should just think of it as getting to know your partner’s friends.” Avalon kisses the side of Hunt’s head, just above his ear. “Like the Spice Girls.”

Hunt sighs. “...Like the Spice Girls.”

Avalon leads Hunt to the common area of Lisa’s dorm where she, Crash, and Ethan are recounting the events of the day to Addison.

“--and that’s when Avalon fell through the skylight!” To emphasize what he was saying, Crash tosses himself over the back of a couch.

“I thought you said he didn’t die!” Addi exclaims, dismayed.

“He did, but he’s fine now.” Crash pops back up, leaning over the couch. He points to where Avalon is standing with Hunt, at the edge of the room behind the other three. “He’s right there, actually.”

“Oh! Ava!” Addi lets out a squeak, somewhere between surprise and relief, and rushes over to wrap Avalon in a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re not dead!”

“I’m also glad I’m not dead!” Avalon responds cheerfully, returning her hug. “That’s a whole thing I would prefer to keep y’all from experiencing!”

“Hey, quick question,” Lisa interjects, “what the fuck is the professor doing here?”

Hunt frowns. “Language, Miss Valentine. I know classes are over for the day, but I still expect a certain professionalism from my students while on campus.”

“Oh, sorry.” Lisa rolls her eyes. “What the fuck are you doing here, sir?”

Avalon lets go of Addi, but keeps his arm slung casually across her shoulders. “I’ve invited him to get dinner with us. As an apology.”

The other students look at each other, then at Hunt- who seems slightly startled himself- and then at Avalon.

Lisa speaks up first. “Why?”

Avalon tips his head to the side, eyebrows raised and eyes wide. “...As an apology. I just said that. Apology dinner!” He wiggles his fingers. “It’s the least we can do.”

Ethan stares at Avalon for a few seconds, then shrugs and stands up. “Well, we were planning on getting dinner already so I don’t see why not.”

“Well for one thing, he locked us in a basement,” Lisa retorts.

Avalon snorts. “We locked us in the basement, Lisa. He just took the key.”

“I just don’t see why we have to apologize at all! Especially since you already did a few minutes ago!”

“You saw his reaction. I don’t think a single, verbal apology is good enough.”

Lisa frowns and crosses her arms. “Wednesdays are supposed to be the nights where we hang out and pretend we don’t have unstarted homework due. How are we supposed to do that with one of our professors sitting with us?”

“Lisa… are you not doing your homework?” Avalon asks, concerned. “I can help you if you need it.”

Lisa’s face flushes and she scoffs. “Uh- of course I am, dad! I was just saying, you know, hypothetically if we didn’t have our work started…” She shakes her head and storms for the door. “Whatever! Let’s just go get this stupid apology dinner over with!”

“Right, well, we should get going before the dinner rush hits.” Ethan glances at Hunt and Avalon. “Crash and Lisa, you’re with me. Addi too, if you’re going to join us.”

“I’d love to!” Addison winks at Avalon and shoots him a thumbs up before following Lisa, Ethan, and Crash out.

“Wait- Ava didn’t drive, how’s he going to get there if he’s not coming with us?” Crash asks as Ethan herds him toward the door.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ethan looks back at Avalon one last time before leaving the building.

After a moment of silence, Avalon turns to Hunt. “Ta-dah!” He jazz hands. “An alibi.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It’s better than nothing!”

Avalon sits in the passenger seat of Hunt’s sports car as they speed through LA, following Ethan in his porsche.

“Just as a heads up,” Avalon begins, gripping the inside of the door frame as Hunt zips through traffic. “This place we’re going, it ain’t exactly Michelin rated. It’s nice, yeah, but it’s one of them somewhat-cheap-but-high-end-feeling type places. Outta the way enough that we don’t gotta worry about paparazzi swarming us when Lisa is around, but still nice enough that TMZ or Dirty Hollywood ain’t gonna say anything stupid about us being there if someone does get a picture.”

“Thank you for the warning.” Hunt glances at Avalon while they’re paused at a red light.

“Mhm,” Avalon hums in response and turns to look out the tinted side window. They sit in silence for a moment before Avalon speaks up again. “By the way. Addison knows about our relationship. I think Ethan does too, but I haven’t told him.”

“What?” Hunt brakes a little too hard.

Avalon grips the doorframe tighter. “That first night we spent together, Addi and I had brunch planned for the next morning.” He shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t really think we were gonna see each other again so soon, much less because you’d turn out to be our teacher, so when she asked how the evening before went, I told her I went home with a cute guy named Thomas, and after that first day of classes she was able to put two and two together.”

“She hasn’t told anyone?”

“Of course not! Don’tcha think there woulda been tabloids and… I don’t know, weirdly invasive slash fiction on Tumblr by now if she’d told someone? Word travels fast, and gossip even faster.”

“I suppose…” Hunt sighs. “And Ethan?”

Avalon shrugs again. “Like I said, I haven’t told him, but he’s a smart guy so I’d be more surprised if he didn’t know. I mean, he figured out Janey and I have been each other’s beards since highschool without me saying anything about it. Besides-” he pokes Hunt’s shoulder- “You told Chris.”

Hunt waves Avalon’s hand away. “I was drunk! He didn’t even know I was talking about you until you told him your side.”

“Well how was I supposed to know you were also fucking him? You didn’t talk to me outside of class for, like, two months!”

“Because you’re my student, Avalon!” Hunt makes an exasperated noise and shakes his head. After a moment, he quietly says, “Do you know how hard those two months were for me? Having you so close, but just out of reach?”

“I know,” Avalon sighs. He gently places a hand on Hunt’s thigh. “It was hard for me, too.”

Hunt tightens his grip on the steering wheel and keeps his eyes locked on Ethan’s car ahead of them. Slowly, he lowers his right hand and places it on top of Avalon’s, lacing their fingers together.

He keeps Avalon’s hand firmly in his grip until they turn off the road and into a small parking lot, next to a smaller restaurant tucked away between the city and the suburbs. He puts his hand back on the steering wheel as Avalon moves his own back to his lap.

“It’s… quaint. I didn’t know this was here,” he says, quickly finding a parking spot.

“That’s the point.” Avalon smiles and taps the side of his head. “Not many people do.”

“Right…” Hunt sighs and looks at Avalon. “Let’s get this over with, then. I’d like to take you home as soon as possible.”

Avalon snorts and laughs, touching Hunt’s arm. “Dirty old man,” he says, fondly.

Hunt’s face flushes. “I didn’t mean it like that-” He frowns. “And we’re the same age.”

“I’m just teasing you, darlin’. I gotta get it all out of my system before I slip up and say something in front of my friends.” He begins to lean in to kiss Hunt on the cheek, but stops a few inches away and pulls back. Instead, he hooks his pointer finger around Hunt’s and gives it a gentle squeeze before letting go and exiting the car.

The two men walk toward the restaurant, where Avalon’s four friends are already waiting by the door.

“Took you long enough,” Lisa says hotly.

Ethan lets out a small laugh and opens the door, holding it for the others. “They were right behind us the entire time.”

“Whatever,” Lisa grumbles, following Crash and Addison inside.

Avalon laughs and shakes his head, stepping up onto the curb. For the second time that day- only this time by complete accident- he puts too much weight on his twisted ankle and begins to fall. For just a second, his body goes into panic mode. Instead of just catching himself, he braces for impact.

Which never comes.

At least, not in the way he expected.

Hunt pulls him upright, arms wrapped securely around his waist and concern in his eyes. “Are you alright?” He asks quietly.

Avalon’s face flushes. “Yeah,” he breathes. “I just tripped, that’s all. I could’ve caught myself.”

“It didn’t look like you were going to…” Hunt tucks some of Avalon’s hair behind his ear.

“Then I’m glad that you did…” Avalon gently places a hand on Hunt’s chest.

The two men lean towards each other, lips parted slightly.

Ethan clears his throat, still holding the door open while pointedly looking away from them.

“Hm.” With that, Hunt lets go of Avalon and enters the restaurant.

Avalon stands there, dazed for a second before shaking his head and following Hunt inside.

As he passes Ethan, Ethan grabs him by the elbow and says quietly, “Hey. Be careful.”

“I am being careful.”

“Ava, that wasn’t careful in the slightest. This is the kind of scandal that could ruin your entire career if it got out. As your agent-- more importantly, as your friend, I can’t let that happen to you.”

“Gah-- I know, it’s just...” Avalon takes a deep breath and sighs. He runs a hand through his hair. “It’s hard to be careful around him sometimes. I have to spend so much time around him every weekday pretending that I don’t-- that I’m not in a relationship with him. When he gets too close, all of me goes a little bit crazy.”

“I can’t say I know what you feel. But at the very least, please try to keep your hands to yourself in public.” He starts to enter the restaurant, but pauses and turns back to Avalon. “And maybe stop screwing around in his office. That’s a guarantee you’ll get caught.”

“Huh- wh- uh-! We weren’t--! We don’t--!”

Ethan laughs and shakes his head, and the two of them enter the restaurant together.

Try as he might, there was no way for Thomas to see the dinner as a way to get to know Avalon’s friends, not in whatever way Avalon had meant. They were his students, first and foremost, and the only things he could think to ask them about were class related. So, instead he opted to sit quietly and sip his water.

As did everyone else at the table.

Thomas couldn’t exactly place it, but something felt off. He’d had enough one on one time with Avalon that he felt rather comfortable in figuring out how Avalon felt most of the time, but the same could not be said about his friends. Conversation died out as quickly as it started, Avalon’s friends glancing oddly at Thomas every time. It was easier before the waitress took their orders, he just pretended to be as invested in the menu as everyone else seemed to be.

He did find that a little odd, considering he was sure Avalon had said they’d all been there multiple times.

“So,” Ethan says, finally breaking the silence that had fallen over the table since the waitress left. “Ava. How on earth did you get $30,000 in property damage?”

Thomas nearly drops his glass of water. “You… what?” He stares at Avalon in disbelief.

“Like I said the other day, prank went awry.” Avalon shrugs nonchalantly and sips his margarita. He was the only person at the table who had ordered an alcoholic beverage; Thomas realizes with a start he had no idea if Avalon’s friends were over the legal drinking age or not. He knew Avalon was, but he typically didn’t care to know the exact ages of any of his students.

“But how?” Spencer- Crash, Thomas reminds himself- presses, leaning across the table. “And how come we haven’t heard anything about this?”

“Because it was forever ago- literally, not like last week or something- and also in Texas. It happened when I was in high school. Senior prank gone wrong.” He takes another sip of his drink.

And doesn’t say anything else.

Thomas glances around the table, trying to gauge the reactions of Avalon’s friends, before clearing his throat and speaking up. “Yes, but how exactly?”

“I’d tell you, but we took a blood oath never to speak the details.”

There was a pause.

Then Lisa started laughing. “Good one, Ava.”

“I’m serious. Look.” Avalon sits up and holds his right hand out, palm up. He points out a thin white scar that ran across it, barely there anymore. “It hurt like a bitch and I couldn’t use it for a while. It still hurts sometimes, honestly. They don’t ever bring that up when characters do it in movies.”

More silence.

Ethan took a deep breath, rubbing a hand across his face. “Wwwhyyyyyyyyyy. Why would you do that.”

“To make sure we don’t talk about it, obviously.”

“Yes, but why?” Addison asks.

“Why do teens do anything, ever? Edgy bullshit is usually the answer.” Avalon shrugs again and waves his hand. He picks his margarita back up and goes to take a sip, but stops. “Hey. T-- Professor, you said you were a production assistant on Battlefield Earth?”

Thomas frowns. “Are you really using that to change the subject?”

“Yup. That must have been interesting, huh? That movie was made by some… interesting people, wasn’t it?” Avalon leans a bit closer to him, eyes wide.

Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes.

Thomas clenches his fist under the table, digging his fingernails into his palms to keep himself from reaching out and tucking that strand of hair back away. “If you’re talking about John Trevolta, I don’t know if he’s homosexual. It was 1999 and I barely interacted with him.”

Avalon let out a laugh- loud and beautiful- and that weird offness around the table seemed to dissipate, at least a little. “No! I didn’t mean John Trevolta-- well, I guess I kind of did? But not for that reason!” He suddenly turns serious and slaps his hand down on the table, staring intensely at Thomas in a way that makes him feel… something. Something enjoyable. “Scientology. That’s the reason.”

Thomas blinks, chasing away those lingering thoughts. “Oh.” He scrunches his face and shakes his head. “Why do you want to know about that?”

“Honestly, I wanted to know if you believed that cr--” Avalon cuts himself off, looking like a deer caught in headlights for a second before shaking his head and returning to normal. “But your expression kind of answered that.”

Thomas scoffs. “The only way I would be in a cult is if I was the head of one, and I already deal with enough people who can’t think for themselves.”

Avalon’s friends share a look, and Avalon himself takes a particularly big sip of his margarita.

Thomas furrows his brow, confused for a second, and then realizes what he just said. “Oh, not-” He frowns and glances over his shoulder. “This doesn’t leave this table at all, but you five are the least intolerable of my students this year.”

“Wow,” Lisa says, flatly, “That was almost a compliment.”

“Don’t let it go to your heads.”

“I mean, we can try, but we're bound to end up with inflated egos if you keep sucking us silly like this.”

Avalon chokes on his margarita.

“Anyway, Professor,” Ethan says, leaning forward to put himself between Lisa and Hunt.“I wanted to know how you found out about the prank if Avalon didn’t tell you. I spent four years working on it!”

“Perhaps you should have taken another four years,” Thomas responds.

Avalon gives him a look.

Thomas sighs. “As much as this… pains me to say, you did put a previously unseen amount of effort into your prank.”

Lisa scoffs and begins to say something, but Avalon reaches across the table and shoves a complimentary breadstick into her mouth. “Quiet, child.” She glares at him, but eats the breadstick, slumping back into the booth seat with her arms crossed.

“If you must know,” Thomas continues, ignoring them, “there was a variety of things that tipped me off. Did you really think transporting a machine big enough to simulate an earthquake of that size onto campus would go unnoticed?”

Ethan frowns at Avalon. “I thought you were distracting him during that.”

“I was,” Avalon states. “In some ways.” Then he chugs the rest of his margarita to avoid elaborating.

“Your second mistake,” Thomas says, “Was allowing Miss Stone to, ah, help. Not only am I well aware that none of you like each other, but she tells her friends everything she does, and in turn Miss Whitman tweets everything she says.”

“Hey, why did you invite her?” Addison asks. “I could have helped.”

“Because she overheard us talking about it,” Ethan answers, “and I got the feeling that if I didn’t let her join, she would do everything she could to ruin my plans.”

“She did that anyway.”

“Yes, but not as bad as she could have.”

Lisa scrunches her nose. “I liked it better when we were talking about anything but Bianca.”

“Well, the good news is, we don’t have to talk about anything now,” Avalon says, gesturing at the approaching waitress.

Although the conversation had all but died down again, Avalon was glad to note that the silence was considerably more comfortable than it had been when they first arrived. On one hand, Crash and Lisa still seemed a bit uneasy to be sitting with their professor, but on the other Ethan and Addison had quickly realized that this was a perfect opportunity to grill their friend’s boyfriend-- nothing too invasive or inappropriate for students to be asking their teacher, of course.

During a lull in the questioning as they ate, Avalon discreetly- unconsciously, almost- shifts his leg to press it against Hunt’s. When he notices Hunt looking at him, he smiles innocently. The corner of Hunt’s mouth twitches upward slightly for not even a half of a second before he presses it back into a line.

Once the food is eaten and the bill is paid, the group quietly files out, no one really wanting to extend this apology dinner for longer than necessary.

“So,” Lisa begins, hopping once in place and turning to her friends when they reach the parking lot. “Apology dinner is over, we don’t have to spend anymore time with the professor, I think we should go clubbing! Just the five of us. No offense, but I don’t want some old jackass tagging along.” She pauses. “Actually, no. Full offense.”

“Avalon is the same age as I am,” Hunt mutters under his breath.

“Yeah, um, actually-” Avalon stifles a yawn. “I’m kinda tired. Y’all go clubbing without me if you want to go. I think I’ll head home.”

“Aw, what? I wanted to celebrate our prank. We couldn’t have done it without you!”

Avalon sighs and rubs his face. “Lisa, it’s Wednesday. We have class tomorrow.”

“So?”

“So we’ll take Avalon home and then we can go clubbing,” Ethan states, cutting in.

“But it’s not as fun without him!” Lisa whines. “Plus, I’m 100% sure Ava is going to love this club.”

“I’m sure I will, on a day that I don’t need to work on a three page essay for one of the harshest professors I have a class with. Honestly, I think you should go home and get started on your assignments as well.” Avalon gives Lisa a pointed look.

“Ew, no, I’m still going clubbing. We’re just going to have to party extra hard this weekend.”

“We’ll see. If that's it, I’m going to call myself a cab and head home.” He glances quickly at Hunt.

“Don’t bother,” Hunt says. “I’ll take you home.”

Lisa raises an eyebrow. “Really? You seemed like you wanted nothing more than to get the fuck out of here and away from us. I’m surprised you haven’t left already.”

“Forgive me if I want to make sure the student I watched fall two stories into a basement gets home safe, Miss Valentine.”

Lisa turns back to Avalon, scrunching her face. “You’re not going to go with him, are you? I’d hate it if he knew where I lived.”

Avalon shrugs. “Hey, a free ride is a free ride. If he’s offering, I’m not going to turn him down.”

“Alright, but it’s on you if he eventually decides to break into your place to murder you in your sleep.”

“Yeah... something tells me he’s not going to do that. You don’t have to worry, I’ll be fine!”

Lisa pouts. “...okay. Fine. But you should check if he keeps any test answers in his car.”

“I won’t. And I’m sure he doesn’t.”

“Check anyway!”

“I will if you study tonight!”

Lisa scoffs and sulks off.

Avalon hugs the rest of his friends, then climbs into the passenger seat of Hunt’s car. As Hunt starts the car up, Avalon turns to him. “Hey, can we actually stop by my place? I know I’ve got enough at yours that I can stay there for the rest of the week, I just…” He sighs and lightly touches the spot on his neck where a gold band usually hangs from a chain. “I left my necklace at home because I didn’t want to lose it, and you know I hate not wearing it.”

Hunt nods briskly and begins the drive to Avalon’s neighborhood.

While Avalon changes into his pajamas, he can’t help sneaking glances over at Thomas, who has turned away. His partner was attractive, he couldn’t deny it, but currently he was focused more on how unusually quiet Thomas had been on the drive back from his house. The guilt from earlier that day had come back and was beginning to gnaw at him again.

He peels off his T-shirt, tossing it into the hamper and grabbing his sleep shirt from the nightstand. He slips the new shirt on, leaving it unbuttoned as he crosses the room to wrap his arms around Thomas's waist, pulling him close.

He gently kisses up Thomas’s bare shoulder and neck. “Hey, you…” He says quietly.

Thomas puts his hands on Avalon’s arms, leaning into his embrace with a soft sigh.

Avalon strokes Thomas’s hip lightly with his fingertips. “I know that it won’t make up for today at all, but…” Avalon kisses Hunt’s jaw. “Let me take care of you tonight?”

Thomas closes his eyes, sinking farther into Avalon’s arms just for a second. Then he stands up straight and shakes his head. “Go to bed, Ava.” He pulls away.

“...Okay.” Avalon lets his arms drop to his sides as he watches Thomas leave the room, turning the light off as he goes. “Okay.” He buttons up his shirt and crawls into bed, lying so he faces the door. He grips the gold band on his necklace for comfort, grateful for its reestablished presence.

A few minutes pass before Thomas returns. He barely glances at Avalon as he makes his way across the room to the other side of the bed. He settles down under the covers, his back to Avalon.

Avalon shifts, turning slightly. “Would you like me to-”

“No. Not tonight, Ava.”

He nods, swallowing hard. “Right. Okay.” He lies back down, hugging his pillow. He takes a few deep, steady breaths. “Toma, I… I’m sorry.”

There's a pause.

“I know, Ava.”

Normally, it didn’t take long for Avalon to fall asleep.

Normally, he could just shut his brain off as soon as he got comfortable.

Normally, he wasn’t fighting with Thomas.

That’s what this was, wasn’t it? He had upset Thomas, and now he was mad and they were fighting. He just wished he knew what to do to let Thomas know exactly how sorry he was and how much he regretted what he did. He sifts through idea after idea trying to figure out something- anything- that would work.

And then Thomas rolls over and presses against Avalon’s back. He puts a hand on Avalon’s waist and rests his forehead between Avalon’s shoulder blades.

Avalon freezes, unsure of what to do as Thomas’ shoulders start gently shaking. He squeezes his pillow, and for a few minutes just lets Thomas cry quietly.

It isn’t until Thomas lets out a strangled half-sob that Avalon rolls over and wraps his arms around him, holding him close and stroking his hair.

Thomas hurriedly wipes his eyes, trying to even out his breath. “You’re--” He takes a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t wake me, I wasn’t asleep…” Avalon kisses Thomas’ forehead. “I couldn’t sleep. Not after today.”

“If I had known you were awake, I wouldn’t have…” Thomas trails off and shakes his head. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

Avalon frowns. “Don’t be. I understand why, Thomas. You don’t need to be sorry.” He strokes Thomas’ cheek lightly. “I’m just glad you’re not keeping it all bottled up.”

Thomas nods, turning his head and kissing Avalon’s palm. “I thought-” His voice breaks and Avalon can feel tears beginning to slip down his face again. “I thought I lost you, Ava.”

“I know.” Avalon kisses his cheeks before resting his forehead against Thomas’. “I know. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that…”

“I know we haven’t been together for that long, but I--” Thomas cuts himself off and takes a shuddering breath. “I care so much about you, Ava. I don’t know what I would have done if you had-”

“But I didn’t. I’m right here with you. I’m not going anywhere, Toma.”

Thomas nods and kisses Avalon before burying his face in Avalon’s shoulder. Avalon rubs Thomas’ back and runs his fingers through his hair, not unlike how he had earlier in the day.

And the two men hold each other.

Until they both fall asleep.