#tumblr just lost its spark for me idk

[mangomode]

[Authors note - I found this in my drafts and decided to publish it cos I'm never gonna finish it. I'd appreciate any sort of feedback! Seriously, Tumblr notifications fill me with unbridled joy.]

Camping!!

Rise Raphael X GN!Reader

(Self-deprecation, teasing, implied romantic feelings, the very slightest bit of suggestiveness at the end <- does it even count? Idk)

Raphael sits next to you at the campfire, impaling a marshmallow with a roasting stick as he distractedly sings along to the music coming from Leo's speaker. The night is serene. A slight breeze ruffles the green grass and leaves around you all, and the stars and moon bathe everything in a silver light. The fire sparks and crackles. 

Raph had pulled up a chair to sit next to you, even though he could have sat anywhere. Is that a sign? You glance at him nervously and look away just as quick. He doesn't notice, doesn't look at you with those big kind eyes of his. Hopeful expectancy, that's how he always looks at you. Like you're about to do a backflip or solve world hunger. You wonder if he finds himself disappointed when you're nothing special.

"Y/N? You good? You don't seem to be having fun." He snaps you out of your thoughts. His eyes look good in the firelight, and the corners of his mouth turns down in a worried frown that almost catches you off guard, or it would, if he wasn't so much of a sweetheart. It's been a while since he spoke. You can't just keep admiring him. You need to reply. 

"Oh, um, no, I'm fine. Just lost in thought, zoning out. I tend to just stare into the fire and lose track of everything, you know?" You laugh, ha-ha, convincing, right? 

He hands you a s'more, the marshmallow exactly how you like it, and you manage a small genuine smile that he returns. "Thanks, Raph..." 

"It's no problem." He grins. "Man, it's nice that we get to be out in the open like this, without being too worried about being seen." 

"I hope Splinter's ok." You say between bites of the delicious treat. 

Donnie answers. "He'll be fine, I have S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. catering to his every desire." 

"He's probably passed out on the couch as usual." Leo chuckles, his usual smirk accentuated in the firelight. Everyone laughs a little. "Not to change the subject, but where's your tent, Raph? It's not exactly where you left it, you know..."

Leonardo gives the most shit-eating grin, and Raphael looks so distressed that you look to where his tent used to be, and, low and behold, it wasn't there anymore. Raph is very audible, although he doesn't say anything at all, it's mostly stuttering and struggling to respond. His brothers laugh. 

"How is that funny?" You almost laugh. It sounds like such a ridiculous think to laugh at. You look at Raph curiously.

"I-its just, um... y-you know... it could be dangerous out here! W-wolves and stuff! So I just, uh, just thought that maybe you shouldn't be all by yourself! Is... is all..." Raph makes out, visible sweating, causing his brothers to laugh. You can't tell if it's the orange firelight or his blush, and you hope it's the same for you, because you can faintly see his tent in the distant darkness; a few feet from yours. "You could get ramshackle-d!" He finishes.

"I do not think you even know what ramshackle means." Donnie looks at Raph with an expression of annoyance, and Mikey responds. 

"Y/N seems like the kinda guy that would get ramshackle-d!"

"Man, I'll ramshackle your face!" You laugh, very grateful for the relief of awkwardness and glance at Raph, who looks absolutely anxious. You stare at him for a second. "It's getting late, I think I'll turn in now. Night, guys." 

You walk into the dark, the chorus of "good nights" following you before the only sound you can hear is the crunching of rocks under your feet and Leo's annoying voice faintly saying, "I think your girlfriend wants you to go to bed now, Raph." 

You blush and shake your head. Leo is a jerk, that much is certain. As for the rest of it...

[avvail-whumps]

Hi!

I loved your latest chps of guns of hire. Can you write something in Roy's Pov? Especially what happened between chp 21 and 22. Kind of like what was his reaction and what his did/say to others. Even if it's in Joey's Pov or omniscient . I just want to know what was going on when Leo passed out.

Also I'm comparatively new to tumblr so idk much stuff. If any mistake happened from my side. I truly apologize. 🙂

When Leo sagged unceremoniously in his embrace, Roy felt a twinge of something, akin to annoyance, worm it’s way into his chest. He could feel his blood soaking into his gloved hand, trembling body losing all of its strength, and got to work lowering him down onto the ground.

Leo went down like a rag doll, his legs curled awkwardly under him and his body twisted into Roy’s chest.

The mercenary hummed, keeping him close as he stared at the matted blond hair under his chin, having almost lost the golden colour it had when he’d first saw him. He brushed it back, eyeing the damp sweat on his clammy forehead, breathing thin and ragged.

He was skin and bones now.

The contract had been a slow five week tale that Roy wasn’t pleased with at all. He’d wanted to put a bullet between his clients eyes simply for his arrogant attitude, and the fact that he’d attempted to weasel his way out of the initial fifty now, fifty after agreement.

Roy didn’t have it in him to deal with people like that. He didn’t think he’d ever had it in him to deal with people to begin with. Most were just money to him anyway. Maybe that was the nature of being a contract killer, but he didn’t care.

His little lion, on the other hand.

That had woven into a completely different story before he could even realise. The distinctive urge to have something, someone, all to himself for his gain and pleasure. The notion that people were little money bags with value by their head didn’t seem to resonate for Leo.

Roy hadn’t intended to keep him alive to begin with.

What had been the point? The secretary was never meant to be in that building to begin with — his client had wanted Jacob dead, and Roy planned efficiently to make that happen. His contracts weren’t meant to go awry, but the unpredictability always got his adrenaline going.

That terrified, tear filled look on his face when he’d walked out of the office had burned itself into his mind. His little pleading voice and the way he’d hesitantly obey when he was asked. Some people were a pretty picture when they had a gun to their head. The secretary had been no exception.

He knew it would have been easy to extract any information he needed out of him when he was securing him tightly to the chair in the basement. It frustrated him a little to have to put in some extra work that was above what he was payed, but he finished his contract regardless. Leo was a loose end he just needed to tie up, and he’d been wanting to use his brass knuckles for a while.

Blow off some steam, maybe.

It was a little surprising that Leo had actually been innocent. A bonified “wrong place wrong time”. Roy had shrugged and stored the information away without a second thought.

Oh well. The secretary had seen his face.

The gun was looped securely in his belt as he assured him his story checked out, deciding that he could at least give him a merciful death. Tell him to close his eyes, watch him shiver in anticipation when he pressed the barrel in between his eyes. He might have made a little desperate noise when he realised, but Roy would have been ready to pull the trigger before it could get any further than that.

But then Leo had looked up at him with something like hope in his eyes. Glimmering through the surface, just barely, like a dim fire ready to chew on more fuel. What was it he’d said again?—will you let me go?

It was then he got this thrill. A thrill straight down his spine, adrenaline sparking in his very veins. So he decided to keep him.

There was something about Leo that kept that distinctive thrill going; maybe it was truly because he was pretty when he was in pain, or maybe it was because Roy liked the idea of having something belong to him. Something that was his, and his alone, to make and break. He wanted Leo to know that too. He wanted him to believe it.

The door creaking open jolted him out of his thoughts. He craned his head round to see Joey standing in the doorway. For a man who barely reacted emotionally on his face, he could see the way his eyes widened slightly at the sight of Rafi’s mangled corpse on the ground, and Leo’s rapidly deteriorating condition.

Joey looked almost stunned into silence. “Roy, he’s...” Shuffling of feet became more apparent as the other two joined the scene. Roy ignored them, only interested in his lion. He gently scooped him up, setting him down on the bed.

“What the fuck?” Bran snapped, his jaw clenched and his eyes wide in shock. He was staring at Rafi’s body. Sean, the bearded man, looked distant, but his eyes had hardened inexplicably. “What the fuck, Roy? You fucking killed him.”

The mercenary scoffed lightly under his breath. “He deserved it.”

“He de—” Bran stopped abruptly, raking his hands through his hair. He laughed bitterly, but Roy simply got to work stripping Leo of his shirt, and tossing a silent glance to Joey and Sean. Joey was less hesitant to help than Sean, but regardless, the message was clear.

He dies, and you’re next.

“You psychotic piece of shit,” Bran snarled, anger bubbling over. “Do you think you fucking own us like you do that pathetic thing? That we have to bend to your every will?”

Roy raised a brow. He didn’t bother turning around to face him when he spoke.

“Rafi broke the one rule I gave you all,” he muttered, unable to fight the urge to stroke his finger in the crease of Leo’s brow. He was frowning hard in his state of unconsciousness, grimacing, chest rising and falling with little wheezing puffs of air.

“He ain’t fucking dead, is he?” Bran shouted angrily, hand waving through the air. Joey was fixing up an IV for him, and Sean was standing between them, eyes flickering over to Roy in discontent.

“He’s right,” he grumbled. “Rafi might have taken things too far, but he didn’t kill him.”

Bran was fuming. Practically steaming from the nose. When Roy ignored the comment and continued to admire the pained face on his lion’s features, he blew up.

“For years, we stuck our fuckin’ necks out for you,” Bran snarled, his voice spitting venom. His eyes had flared in a fiery rage. “Rafi too. And that’s how you’re gonna fucking repay us? Repay him? You’re a fucking joke.”

Roy hummed, his lips curving into a small smile. Seeing Rafi ontop of Leo upon entering the room had made him act somewhat irrationally. It had been a split second, a moment of seeing the dying struggles and convulsing body (the one that belonged to him, and only to him), and the gun was in his hand before he had a chance to stop and think.

Even if he had, the conclusion would have been the same. Rafi with a bullet in his head. Maybe it was the possessive urge to keep other people’s hand off of him. Because he’d kept Leo for himself, and no one else.

Roy gave Leo one last glance over, before rising to his feet. He turned and met Bran’s fuming gaze with a cold one of his own.

“Do you want to be next?”

Bran bristled venomously. “Fuck you.”

“Do you think that means anything?” He cut off, his eyes narrowed. “The fact that you took pity on me when I was sixteen? Do you think that makes us friends, Bran? Because I couldn’t care.”

“Of course you fucking don’t,” Bran scoffed. He was shaking his head, fists clenching and shaking. Roy’s gaze didn’t let up. “I’m out of here by the end of the week. I’m done.”

The big man surged out of the door, and with a darkened glare, Roy settled his gaze on the remaining two. “Anyone else?”

Joey looked away, and Sean had his hardened eyes pinned elsewhere. Roy made a huffing sound, and shook his head from side to side in disbelief. He ran a hand through his hair, and decided to go get some fresh air to clear his thoughts.

The violin he had brought with him was still standing against the wall by the front door. It brought a small smile to his face.

. . .

When he returned back to Leo’s room, he noticed that Rafi’s body was gone. The blood had been mopped and cleaned away, including the beer can and spillage that must have happened during his struggles.

His eyes instantly darted to the bed, where Leo was sleeping away soundly, covers tucked up to his chest. Joey and Sean had treated all his wounds as much as they could, wrapping his ribs and changing old bandages for newer ones.

His hair was still slightly damp, but all the dirt and grime had been washed out.

Roy sat on the edge of the bed, gently tangling his fingers through it. He looked calmer like this. No crease in his brow, no grimace on his face. Roy had missed his little lion while he was away.

A soft keening sound hummed in Leo’s throat, and Roy watched as his eyes dazily flickered open. They were unfocused and hazy, barely able to pry themselves open. Roy felt him stir, and his hand gently carded through his hair.

Leo clumsily looked around for him. “Roy?”

His lips twitched. “I’m here, lion.”

Weak fingers fumbled for his shirt. He shifted a little closer, watching wordlessly as the secretary’s breath quickened, and he weakly tried drawing himself closer.

“Roy...” He whimpered, choking on a tearless sob. “Please, please. Please, don’t go.”

He hummed, his eyes shimmering. He had missed this. As much as he enjoyed when Leo would have a little bit of fire lit up inside of him, the thrill always intensified when he was like this. Clinging onto him, refusing to let go. Begging for him to stay; the way he was so eager to obey him sometimes. Roy was confident that Leo didn’t even realise just how adorable he was at times.

He always reacted so nicely to his touch, leaning into it keenly without even realising, knowing he would only ever get this from him. The thrill surged.

Roy leaned down, gently cradling him into his chest. His lion kept mumbling and murmuring in that soft, broken voice of his, shaking and trembling like a leaf in the wind. He was hardly conscious, but maybe that was what made it so exciting.

“Please don’t leave me...” He whispered, his voice cracking. “Please...”

Roy’s lip twitched into a smirk. “I’m here, lion.”

Leo whined softly. “Don’t go...”

He was dragged back into unconsciousness not a moment later, and Roy gently eased him onto his back once more. He tugged the blanket and duvet over him, stroking the hair from his face with feather light touches.

As his thumb softly stroked the scarred initial on the inside of his wrist, Roy quietly thought to himself, yeah, I’m glad I didn’t kill him.

[deepseacityunderground]

i did a pokeymon tierlist that took me three hours to do ;-;

i put it and explainations under a cut because its so big lmao. if you want it to not be blurry then open it seperately in desktop idk

lesbian tier: self explainatory (ill explain why i like them so much later)

my babies: good designs, sentimental, AND i like fighting with them

sentimental tier: various favs across the years, theyre more individuals than species to me because of my memories with these guys.

i wish pokemon were real: for pokemon that make me say "i wish pokemon were real"

ebic: i like them lots and i like to have them on my team

the funny little creatures: i smile when i see them and i like them

intriguing: hmm there is something here... but i'm not quite getting it maybe?

not rlly interested: this one is self explainatory... if ur fav is here im sorry :( im sure these guys are cool i just dont rlly think about them ever

fucked up: i dont like seeing them they make me uncomfortable

scyther was my first partner in my first pokemon game :) it was diamond. i overtrained scyther way too much and he (because it was a boy scyther) would do that thing where he doesnt listen in battle so i build his entire moveset around it. he was lost when i transferred him to heartgold and then dropped heartgold in some water. rip scyther always in my heart

togekiss was my friend alongside scyther. she was the first pokemon i ever trained up to lv.100. she was also a victim of the heartgold incident. rip togekiss always in my heart.

absol was the only one from my initial gamebeating diamond team to survive the incident. she was transferred over to my copy of platinum and after i ended up losing diamond, remained there happily. i dont want to transfer her to bank or home because i think itd be like moving an old cat to a new house. i dont want to upset her at her old age. also absol's design fucks. emo fringe lynx. absol is what sparked my emotions about dark types. also i played pmd1 as a kid.

gengar is gengar. also i played pmd1 as a kid and read a copious amount of fanfic focused around pmd1 gengar (everyone go read pmd victory fire now it doesnt even matter that its on forever hiatus and ended with a cliffhanger go read it)

the tentacool variations are here purely out of sentimentality. when i was much younger, id let my little sister borrow my copies of the gen 4 pokemon games. she was really young and didnt really care about rpgs in general at the time, so shed always just explore and catch random pokemon instead of actually playing the games. one time, after i got the games back from her, i looked in my pc and saw like. two full boxes of tentacool and tentacruel that shed caught. and they've all got nose themed nicknames like "nosey" or "nosenose" and other stuff like that. so apparently she was surfing about and saw a tentacool for the first time and was just. obsessed with how they looked and thought they looked like big noses (with the red spots being like nostrils i think) and just decided to catch loads and loads of them because she liked them so much. so it became an inside joke between us. i dont really have much in common with my sister anymore and our relationship is pretty cold rn but pokemon is the one thing we still hold in common. and ill always associate tentacool with her.

we all know why grovyle is where he is. same with dusknoir. theyre also good designs.

i really dont like enamourus because its fucked up how they designed three big buff genie men and then made one that was pink and skinny. awful. makes me angry. if they were buff theyd be one of my favs tho.

i really dont like the pla designs for dialga and palkia... theyve already both got very busy designs and i think these forms are Too Busy. i really wanted to like them but well... i look at giratinas two forms and cry over what could have been.

i dont like the tumblr sexyman lizard.

a lot of pokemon are in higher tiers cus theyre based on animals i like... i like a lot of cat pokemon for this reason. also i like the litten line cus it fucks. and my litten in sumo was a female and i like the idea of big buff wrester catgirl :3 incineroar is a really good design and shes big and strong... whats not to love.

also, i generally like a lot of designs which other pokemon fans dislike... i especially love more humanoid/furry "feminine" designs like primarina, lilligant, gardevoir, lopunny, tsareena, etc etc... i really dislike how a lot of these designs are just seen as like sexygirl designs by the community... sadly porn will exist of everything but these pokemon are also creatures. theyre animals. they may look a bit like a girl but they are still magic animals. like one time in moon i had a whole team of grass girlies and it was just fun to hang out with my funny grass lady creatures.

i like giratina because theyre a big ass antimatter caterpillar. drawing giratina helped me draw antropomorphic caterpillars actually. i like their big ass legs.

all eeveelutions are CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the lunar duo are my ultimate fav pokemon forever as a team for a big mix of all the other reasons. partly its sentimentality, cus i really liked them as a kid and i would always chill on fullmoon island in my copy of platinum and just listen to the music, i also always tried to do the void glitch to get darkrai but i always fucked up and never quite saw her! (i couldnt do the event cus living in shitty rural region reasons) i also liked battling with them in oras :3 i think their designs are very well done. they remind me of the "swan" series by hilma af klimt specifically, which is a series i really liked on its own. i dont think that was intentional, but i was looking at the work about a year or so ago for an essay and i sorta realized how well the overall color palette of that series matches the pair and cresselia specifically, because shes based on a swan ofc. and ofc darkrai is also birdlike but in a more abstract way. she actually reminds me a bit of the skeletons of one of those really fucked up breed pigeons with the receeded necks and huge fantails and tiny beaks and weird spindly legs. i also really like how unabashedly edgy darkrai's design is... i feel a lot of nostalgia for edgy character designs from the mid 2000s which were edgy in a very un-selfaware way (another reason why i like absol specifically and also like. so many ghost and dark types) and as an angsty kid i always used to gravitate towards those designs lol. i also think its kinda romantic, the idea of a creature which kills others simply by being around them, a typhoid mary type creature, which isolates itself due to that, with its only friend also being the only creature that negates its negative affects. and also that creature killed a kid in america (fucked up). thats how i interpret their relationship. anyway ive been having lots of thoughts about them for like over 15 years.

this is unrelated but its kinda annoying when ppl use gendered pronouns for genderless pokemon... its not gonna ruin my days its just. funny lol (ignore that i have used she/her for darkrai throughout this entire comment... when i do it, its ok <3) one of the sad flaws of the pmd series imo bcus the mainline games dont do that at all.

in general i think my likes and dislikes are more dictated by character design/sentimentality as opposed to ability in battle or fanservice or competitive meta ... this is just part of being a longtime fan who doesnt rlly keep up with the community anymore methinks. im kinda beating myself up for not putting more complex thought into this buuut also i wanna be true to myself yknow... but then again this community sucks so i feel like im gonna be attacked for putting idk wingull too low or something lol

[quasonn]

for anyone willing to read, i have a little personal note. its not sad just a little bit in the beginning .

I lost well actually i ghosted and quit my job as a lawyer in 2022 after a bad string of events resulting in my complete mental breakdown, i was dead depressed and hallucinating visually and hearing stuff too, did the whole therapy thing till i could no longer afford and eventually left the city to move back home, in my tiny hill-station. I have accepted I am a people pleaser and regardless of what people say i like it, just trying to find a balance between wrecking myself and pleasing people, however with the breakdown i lost a lot of good friends which made me feel even shittier and even those that left behind are the finest people i know but even they couldnt really figure how to deal with the things i am going through, parents included, though i had suicidal feelings, i am a positive golden retriever and look forward to life, the polar opposite nature of my issues and myself is prolly why the doctor slapped bpd on my forehead as soon as i started talking to him. however this is not a sad post guys, as the months have gone by, I have accepted that it is not easy to live like this nor will people will truly understand you or your problems, maybe you will be fortunate enough to find them in your problems and i hope you do but its not going to happen for me, but I am fine with it now. I cannot return working as a lawyer, i cant explain this to my friends and family but i cannot be in a profession where someones dignity as a person is literally based on the efforts i put and i no longer have the confidence to hold such a position any longer when a random flip in the switch will leave me fetal position under the bed for hours trying to shut off the world. so i am good with it, i still dont have a job but im working to learn new skills, i even have some new goals, the first one being getting a job, and travelling....but really why i wanted to share this note with you guys is because i met a girl yesterday, and i didnt know it was possible to have the stomach squishy squishy feelings at 28, but it fell great, she was great, pretty, adorable, funny....i might need to learn more adjectives to describe, i have been single for so long because i thought i cant be in a relationship when i hold such a dumbass mental condition but i dont know guys, i mean i dont have a job yet and there is the brain being a fuzz bucket, but i am not sad nor am i thinking pessimistic thoughts at all, in fact i am thinking, shit i could make things work, idk i feel rather optimistic. I feel in love. God I am gushing as i am writing this. okay 'in love' is a stretch but i was making up nicholas spark worthy monologues in my head when i returned home yesterday lol. I was very drunk though yesterday, it was a friendly outing, and a friend of mine brought her along. I wanted to share this with my best friends really cause you know this boii hasnt been like this since like 2016, but one had a recent breakup and the other best friend is the partner she broke up with, so i cant even send her a 'sup' before it goes into a full blown, "how can he do this?" "How did she do that?" its been 5 months already and i find myself third wheeling their trauma too post break up. so here i am in tumblr, hungover and sharing with a bunch of strangers how i met a girl yesterday and since then i have been cartwheeling around town cause the giddy wont stop. lol thenkz for the listen!! this has been fun.

[darkprincecait]

I posted 6,100 times in 2022

That's 2,002 more posts than 2021!

28 posts created (0%)

6,072 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@strangeauthor

@twinklecupcake

@cest-la-venus

@spellinwaiting

@miameirohara

I tagged 584 of my posts in 2022

#pokemon - 87 posts

#cats - 44 posts

#revolutionary girl utena - 36 posts

#precure - 25 posts

#delicious party precure - 25 posts

#precure fanseries - 22 posts

#dracula daily - 20 posts

#pokemon scarlet and violet - 17 posts

#pretty cure mirai spark - 16 posts

#sailor moon - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#beldum because i didn't know about its dogshit catch rate and ended up tearing my hair out trying to catch one in pearl

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sorry for writing fight scenes like a ten-year-old smashing action figures together. It will happen again.

4 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#4

People who consume nothing but children's media while hating children and insisting they're too stupid to appreciate stuff aimed at them are something else. Nobody says you have to like being around kids or whatever. I mostly enjoy my nephews in small doses, and I also watch a lot of shows aimed at kids and play a game that is primarily marketed at kids. But come on.

Like. I don't know! Little Cait liked a lot of things Present Cait can't stand, things that were loud and silly and yes, juvenile, but they could still notice bad writing! And I think they'd be just as hurt by "you're too stupid to enjoy this cartoon, unlike me" as they were by "everything you like is stupid and I don't care about it" which I did a ton of damage as it was.

I don't want to be that adult! I want to share Pokemon with my nephew instead of turning my nose up and going "this franchise is too good for you, and it owes me." I'm happy kids today have quality cartoons and the kind of protagonists Little Cait could only dream about! I love seeing kids getting into things I've enjoyed for years! I don't want to tear the next generation down, just because I'm bummed out about growing up.

4 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#3

I imagine my interaction with the greater Precure fanseries fandom is like. They’re enjoying themselves in their nice little clubhouse and every two weeks I kick down the door, announce my fanfic updated, and then leave.

5 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#2

It's time for another Mirai Spark update!

Pretty Cure's mission to recover the Umbra Carillon goes sideways. When things look grim, a miracle occurs, and the long-lost power of the Shade Pretty Cures is awakened.

And with that, we are now done with Act 2! I might be a bit slow with updates for a while, as we move into the holidays, but we are officially into the final arc, and I hope to see this through to the end!

Also! I'm happy to report that I will be working on one more fanseries after this - please look forward to it!

As always, I hope it's an enjoyable read! Thank you for your support!

7 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"Villains should be sympathetic!" "Villains should be irredeemable!" Or idk just do both? I like writing people who are capable of doing better and can be saved but I also like writing bastards whose job is being The Worst. I like contrasting the former with the latter in-story, maybe playing them off each other. It's fun.

35 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[iluskatastroof-blog]

hey yall im mostly active at my instagram account @/alexpressso now so check it out if ya want and ill see you there ;)!

[crystaldwightsworld]

I know its been like 2 years since you updated Nerve so sorry if this is annoying!! But i just finished reading chapter 2 yesterday and today i accidentally found your tumblr account?!?! I'm so shocked, I think it was fate haha ����

So anyway, I found myself thinking about your story for the whole day. I really love your writing style. I couldn't look away from the screen. You perfectly captured Ashley's emotions, I could feel her pain and her hesitancy towards Leon. And Leon... he's so gentle and tactful. He instantly makes you feel safe.

I just wanted to thank you for writing this, I noticed that you seem a bit unsure if your stories are good (you mentioned rewriting it a lot of times 😅) and I just want to tell you that THEY ARE AMAZING!!! You are very talented and I hope you have lots of motivation and inspiration to write more great stories in the future. ❤

No need to apologise, it's far from annoying. Maybe fate, maybe not, I did link to my tumblr on some of the chapters in my fics (actually went back and linked to it on all of them since I realized I hadn't been doing it lol).

It still baffles me that I get so many comments on the story and messages here on tumblr. You're not the first person to message me about it lol. Baffled because... you're right, I don't think it's that good xD. I know Leon x Ashley is far from the popular pairing but that's exactly why I started the story/ies. Not a lot of ppl write for them specifically and not a lot of ppl like Ashley to begin with.

I'm glad you like the story. I took a BIG gamble on that second chapter, speaking from Ashley's POV for most of it and sprinkling in a little bit of Leon's as well. I'm doing my best to keep them in what is in my mind, in character. Is a lot of it made up and merely speculation? Of course it is, we only know so much from lore and the games. I had thought ppl were going to hate it though, POV chatter from a character tends to piss ppl off for some reason...

2 years... yikes lol. Trust me, I'm just as disappointed as the fans of the fic are. The inspiration is there, stories that I'd like to write, one offs, au's, things that I already have started sitting in Docs, it's just finding the motivation. I've kind of lost my flow recently, IDK why. Nerve has some deep and dark subjects present in the story as well so it's a little difficult for me to write about something I've never experienced or have no experience in. It's a miracle if I can go back to the third chapter and manage to whip out a few sentences. Chapter three has been sitting in my Google Docs for quite some time, along with the other chapters or drabbles that I want included in the story. I've said it before but Leon and Ashley is always in the back of my mind, always on my mind in some form or another. Always reminded that I need to get the next chapter out. The new RE4 remake coming has really rekindled my interest, I'm really looking forward to seeing Leon and Ashley again. I'm hoping for more bonding moments, more banter, idle chatter and conversation. I about damn near cried at the second trailer reveal and game play footage. That spark is back, that nervous excitement you get in your tummy that burns (in a good way) with fluttering butterflies... I cannot wait to see them again lol.

I'm not going to guarantee when the next chapter will come out. I really have no idea. I can't write unless I'm feeling it and forcing myself to do it any other time just leaves me sitting there staring dumbfoundedly at the draft, knowing exactly what I want to say but unable to get it out into words on the screen. I guess... we'll see. I'm not giving up on it though, I refuse.

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I'm very doubtful of myself and the stories so finding messages or comments from peeps that really enjoy the stories really reminds me that I'm too hard on myself.

To keep spirits up, I will reveal something from the fic but as always, it's always subject to change. I try to give out mini drabbles of things I'm for certain I want in the story.

Chapter 3

“Ashley?” He voices his greeting gently from above, hoping that it wouldn’t startle her. Her eyes peel open, finding Agent Kennedy standing over her in the dimly lit room. She acknowledges his being with a forced tiny smile followed by a pained whimper, the cramps from her period giving her hell. The headache had lessened but her head still throbbed, her pelvic region felt heavy with pressure and she kept sweating due to the frequent hot flashes. 

“You’re up early, graham cracker.” He says, the silly nickname making her grin as her tired eyes fall to the wall behind him. “Dumb question but you okay?”

Her throat is dry, feeling as if it would almost cave in on itself. She forces her gaze back up to his but only for a moment to shake her head no, reverting her stare back. 

“No? Do I need to get a hold of Marc?” Leon offers. Again, she shakes her head.

“No talking kind of day, huh?” 

Ashley had had a few of them and Leon had grown used to them. He knew better to bother anyone when all they wanted was to be left alone. He had experienced many days like that himself. She makes a pained expression, teetering on the edges of wince and bothered before shaking her head no again.

She sits up slightly, keeping the hot pack in place as she moves to the middle of the bed. She doesn’t ask and she doesn’t tell but only reaches her hand out for Leon’s, her fingers folding easily into his palm. She pulls for him, motioning for him to take the spot next to her. He smirks but doesn’t take it right away, the caution and hesitancy hard in his gaze. Her tired gaze grants him permission, tugging his arm forward again. He relents, taking the open spot next to her, leaving one leg to hang off the edge.

“Lay.” She mutters in her sleepy drawl and the request takes Leon by surprise.

“You’re being brave today, Ash.” He comments, watching her pat against the sheets to gesture for him to join her. Against his better judgment, he obliges and takes his spot, turning to lay back comfortably, the warmth from where she was radiating through his blazer jacket. 

Was it a good idea? Probably not. She doesn’t say anything though and neither does he, sharing their quiet moment together, the warmth of her beside him and the dim light of the room pulling at sleep strings he much longed to fall back into. He stared up at the ceiling, nothing but the sound of commercials and her breath meeting his ears. It was… nice. Peaceful.

<3

[redwyverndht]

Ghost Game, or how I stopped worrying and love the mystery box

Incoherent ramble incoming!

my brain is rotating gulusgammamon and what in the Kentucky Fried Fuck will happen next and/or why

gulus

hokuto

my man Hiro is taking the loss of his dad like a champ lol

blacktailmon uver

blackagumon

blackgargomon

what are all these black digimon doing

no one notices any digimon ever

how long is ghost game gonna be even because if they have only 52 episodes it's been one hell of a setup and the payoff is nowhere in sight

The thing is, despite these numerous loose threads and no answer in sight, I still can't help but love this dang show. Its characters, the horror ambiance, the animation, and the individual episodes are dripping with emotion and I love it

And my love of the episodic nature of it has made me keep watching it! And idk, if the expectations get in the way, it's better for me but to not expect anything like we've seen before

depicted: me going feral over digimon and the state of the entertainment industry for my poor, unfortunate mutuals

The mystery box and its problems

There's a concept that gets thrown around when talking about JJ Abrams and his work on Lost, Star Wars, and Game of Thrones: the Mystery Box.

It's a way to create engagement for your audience, setting up and building up expectations to get resolved later, making the audience wonder and ponder what the result will be

That, the horror, and the charming characters are Ghost Game's greatest strengths. But the thing with the Mystery Box is that it's really difficult to get resolved satisfyingly (re: game of thrones season 8)

This episode made me realize that I have absolutely no idea where all of this is going. And normally that would be a bad thing, but there's one small problem with the problem:

Ghost Game is actually competent,,,,,,,,

It's not that simple

There are lots of instances where I've been legitimately enjoying watching it way more than any previous digimon season. Ghost Game (imho) thrashes every single digimon series in individual episodes quality, especially lately (this is a contentious take and you don't have to agree with it don't worry) The horror buildup, the tension, even when they're not resolved 100% satisfyingly, are golden on their own

Considering the shoes Ghost Game has to fill:

A friggin digimon season

One after the weird success of Adventure:

Helping boost the VB

Being televised before the anime adaptation of the MOST IMPORTANT SHONEN OF THE DECADE THAT'S 1000+ EPISODES LONG

Most people watching it aren't 100% familiar with digimon; they probably just saw adventure (1999/2020) and stayed

The real reason of its episodic nature really comes through

I'm all for plot, but we in the streaming era have forgotten how catastrophic it is for a show's odds of survival it is to have your audience not know what's going on. TV is (surprisingly) still huge in Japan, so that's probably why the show is how it is.

You will never watch Adventure again, and why that's ok

It's not 1999 anymore, though. The era of big networks and monolithic media consumption is over here, where everything is more niche and fandom-ized. That's why western digimon fans have this reaction that might differ from the real target audience: the Japanese (for now) mainstream audience (I'm firm that there's a decent chance Ghost Game crosses the pond with a dub at some point, given the abundance of text in English in the actual anime)

Tumblr is really good at this, since there's not that much elitism here, but it sometimes seems like the fanbase is just desperate to see Adventure/Tamers again, and revive that spark they felt when they were young. But, despite sharing some similarities, Ghost Game isn't Tamers. It's not Adventure. It's also not Hunters nor Appmon. But, since episode 13, it's become increasingly clear that it's also not just Scooby-Doo digimon. Then, what is it?

Every digimon series has reinvented the wheel radically, and there's little to no consistency between them, but that just means that they can adapt, shift, and never stagnate. They're not perfect by any means, and you can complain about lots of things. But you can't complain about stagnation.

Despite how nearly every big media franchise had pivoted to nostalgia (See: Disney remakes) or settled to appeal to the majority, Digimon still experiments and reinvents itself.

Even with the relentless prioritization of Adventure since the start of Tri, they still made a wildly different, yet same in spirit, season. One that had probably the second most passionate and protective fanbase, second only to Adventure itself. In the middle of "the Adventure Nostalgia" era, they made Appmon. It wasn't 100% successful, and it has its flaws, but there is greatness under the surface, and I love it

I definitely don't want to say all complaints about Ghost Game, or Appmon for that matter, are only because everyone has too much nostalgia, but it does have an effect on the perception most people have.

Fast forward to today. Even when they literally remade Adventure with the same characters of the same age, after all of this, they still managed to make a great original digimon season that stands all on its own!

Conclusion

I have no idea of how Ghost Game will end. But I am certain that the staff at Toei have some degree of competence that gives me hope. Case in point: despite being completely unexpected, last episode kicked ass!!!!!!! *fangirl time*

Vamdemon was very imposing and disgusting (in the best way possible). And the final Canoweissmon reveal, unexpected as it was, was awesome (especially that little gulug teasing we got). Even though I wanted to see more of Dracmon and the other villains, it feels like it's not the last time we'll see them...

All the loose threads, as unresolved as they are, make my matpat-loving gremlin really happy to speculate, and it's still really fun to see the main 6's shenanigans every week!

There's a lot to be enjoyed in Ghost Game, and it really is starting to take shape. But where? I have no idea, and yet I love it for what it is.

anyways stan gammamon

[fa-headhoncho]

Untitled TFATWS Fic: Part 1

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Prompt/Background: After turning yourself in to the government following the events of CA:TWS, they lock you up for the crimes you committed during your time at Hydra. Spending years there until Captain America got you on parole during the blip to help fight Thanos. Now, after doing community service acts and helping the broken society, when they give the new Captain America the shield, you’re thrown back into a life you didn’t want.

Word Count: 1871 (ahaha, yea)

Reader: Female

Warning: parole officers might be triggering??? idk

Author’s Note: I’ve decided to end my 141 part Wattpad Sebastian Stan imagine book and post on Tumblr instead :’), a happy day. Also, I’M SORRY THAT I LIKE SLOW BURN SERIES OK? Schedule for this series is every Thursday. ALSO IF YOU HAVE TITLE IDEAS FOR THIS SERIES, LMK! PLEASE

Masterlist

Part 2  Part 3  Part 4

=====

The sound of your heels echoed throughout the dimly lit room as you make your way through the exhibit. The walls take you back in time, reading how Captain America came to be and all his past accomplishments. They even updated from the last time you were here, documenting the events on the Blip.

You didn’t even know where you were going, absently letting your emotions and feet lead to where it felt you needed to be.

“For a former spy, you’re not really good at sneaking up on someone.” Rhodes’ voice greets you once you open up the curtain to a different area. A small smile sneaks its way across your face seeing the two men in front of you.

“Bit out of practice.” You spit back, walking towards them. “It’s nice to see you again, Rhodie.” You open your arms out to him and he gladly takes the hug. “Hopefully life’s been treatin’ you well.”

“For the most part,” He chuckles out while pulling away from the embrace. You move on to the other man, him happily wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrap yours around his shoulders.

Sam lets out a breath into the crook of your neck before pulling back. “You doing okay?” You ask, looking at his face for any sign of emotion. He nods but there was something in his eye that told otherwise.

You open your mouth to push him for the real answer but Rhodes cuts you off, “Well, I have to get going. It was good seeing you, (Y/L/N), hopefully, we work together soon. Remember what I said, Sam.” With that, he leaves the room to leave you and Sam alone.

The room fills with silence as the two of you turn to the iconic suit and shield in front of you. You try to watch Sam from the corner of your eye but he just stands with his back straight and his eyes forward.

“You know, I’m sure Steve would understand.” You decide to say, clasping your hands in front of you. “I didn’t become as close as you did, but from my time with him during the Blip, he tried his best to help everyone. He had a lot of responsibilities and issues of his own along with having a whole country looking up to him... 

“It was a lot… he opened to me about it one night before… you know.” You admit which makes him finally look at you. “He told me what he was going to do and all I could do is support him… I asked him what he was going to do with the mantle and he said give it to you.” Turning your head, you make eye contact with him. “I asked him if he was sure.”

He lets out a snort at that, shaking his head at you. “Really gotta do me like that?” He wipes his hand across his face then stuffs his hand in his pockets as he turns to face you. “I thought we were having a nice bonding moment and then you had to drop me like that?”

You can’t help the giggle that escapes your lips at his whining. “I’m being serious, Sam, stop.” You hit him on the shoulder. “He said there was no doubt in his mind that you do what needed to be done with the shield. He trusted you and your judgment, Falcon.” You emphasize his hero name which he just rolls his eyes at you.

“Yea, I’m sure he did.” He smiles and then changes the subject, “How’s parole treatin’ ya, still got the collar on?” He gestures to your ankle causing you to lift your dress pant leg, flashing the electric bracelet around your ankle. He lets out a hearty chuckle at it. “Still can’t believe that they have you on a leash.”

“Price you gotta pay for freedom.” You shrug and drop the cloth. There’s a beat of silence between the two of you, both of you taking a glance back at the exhibit and the shield.

“Have you talked with Bucky recently?”

“No, I was going to ask you.” Your heart sinks at the realization. “We’ve been texting a bit but I haven’t seen him since I spent the weekend with him a couple of weeks ago.” You shyly admit and look down at your feet.

“Weekend, huh?”

“Shut it, Sam.” You knock your foot against his. “We didn’t do anything, he doesn’t like me like that. Plus, he wouldn’t even let me spend the night. I had to go to a hotel, he sleeps on the floor, Sam! I’m worried about him.” It took weeks for you to convince him to let you come over and you finally knew why when you step into his apartment. It made your heart sink, it looked like if a Hydra cell got a remodel. “He has two chairs and a tv.”

“Living modestly I see.” He snorts out, covering up whatever he was actually thinking. It’s now your turn to roll your eyes at him, frustrated that he isn’t willing to talk about this. “Hey, he’s still figuring stuff out, okay? He just got all his memories back and he’s still working on living with his past. You should know better than I do to give him time.” His tone is soft as he lightly scolds you. You hang your head at his words, knowing he’s right.

It took some time for you to come to terms with your past when you turned yourself in after Hydra and SHIELD fell. You took accountability for your actions during your years at Hydra and spent a few years in jail before Steve took action to help you get on parole. That didn’t mean you weren’t fully recovered.

“When are you joining me on the field, anyway?” Sam changes the topic noticing how you went silent and your eyes looked past him. “I could use you on some of my recon missions.” 

A large smile forms on your face at the mention of your parole. “A couple more check-ins and I’m good, I think.” You excitedly inform, “They actually want to talk to me about something, and then it’s the last three months. Saving the world made my good behavior skyrocket.”

“I’m sure it did.” He smiles, “Well, let me know what happens. I’m heading down to Louisiana soon and my sisters want to meet you. She heard about your work with the soup kitchens in New York and she wanted some insight.”

“Really? Give her my number, you know I’d be happy to talk with her. I’ve been thinking about trying to get my officer to convince the big guys to expand my tracking radar so I reach out more.” You start to ramble about the ideas you’ve been having for more community service actions. During the blip, Steve got you into volunteer work and it sparked something inside of you. He said it might give you a new purpose and he couldn’t have been more right.

The two of you spend the rest of the day together, catching up on everything that’s been going on. You didn’t realize how much you missed his snarky comments and banter until he smothered you in it, “making up for lost time”, he said. He continues the bullying by texting back and forth for the next few days.

It was nice to have a friend after everything that happened over the last few years. Steve and Nat were gone so the friendships you built up during the blip were just a memory now. Yea, Bucky and you were friends but it was a bit more complicated than that.

It’s a few weeks after that and they’ve already named some prick the new Captain America. You were frustrated at Sam but you realized that he couldn’t have known that this was going to happen. Especially since when you reached out to him and he was more furious than you were. Bucky was a whole other story. When the press conference aired, he immediately called you and went off about Sam. You couldn’t offer answers so you just told him to talk to him about it. This didn’t involve you.

Now, you were sat at some random government office in DC. You were beyond nervous, leg bouncing and fingers tapping. Kevin, your sweet parole officer, had called you in for an emergency meeting. He didn’t mention anything about the content of it but he assured you not to worry. It didn’t help, though, your mind was scrambling trying to think of anything you could’ve done to break your parole or anywhere you could’ve gone that went outside your tracking radar.

“(Y/L/N)?” The familiar voice echoes through the lobby makes your head snap up. Kevin, your knight in a cashmere sweater, stands there with his hands in his pants pockets. He nods his head, gesturing for you to follow him.

He leads you down a long hallway, stopping at the end of it and holding the door open for you. You send him a grateful smile before entering the office. It was very different from his usual office. The tall windows lined the wall from floor to ceiling, making the already large room feel even more spacious. It was a bit unsettling compared to his close-knit office space located in an old house on the outskirts of DC.

Kevin moves you two to the large conference table on the other side of the room, having you sit before he does. He takes the chair at the head of the table, sighing as he opens the folder and takes a few papers out.

“Sign these.” He slides them over to you but you furrow your eyebrows in response.

“What’s going on?”

“You’re being released.” He announces, leaning back in his chair with a tight-lipped smile on his face. Your jaw drops and your heart picks up but you can’t help but question it. You quickly compose yourself and look down at the papers.

“Isn’t it a bit too early?” You ask while briefly scanning the papers. “I still have two months left, not that I’m not grateful but where is this coming from?” This was happening too suddenly, Kevin was good with warning you about the activities that go on behind the scenes of your parole and he didn’t even mention the thought of an early release.

The brunette man lets out a sigh, running his hair through his long hair. He then leans his elbows on the table with his head propped up on his palms, he opens his mouth to answer but is cut off by the office door opening.

The new Captain America and his sidekick come waltzing in, a few of his goons following as well. He didn’t need the uniform or shield for you to recognize him since his face has been plastered on every channel since they came forward with him. He’s all everyone could talk about.

“He released you.” You barely hear Kevin as your mind goes into spirals. What the hell did this guy want? Why is he even here? What the hell did he want with you?

[jung-koook]

omg i stalked the hell out of you just now (sorry for that) and i am in shock. you've been here for the longest time??? you have posts from june, 2013. that's insane. i really want to ask you how does it feel, being part of this for more than half a decade. they've changed so much and it's hard to process as someone new, can't imagine seeing that happen real time. they used to be so dark and now they're not, plus they're heading the industry by far. it's so mind-blowing. what was what sparkled your interest in the first place? they look/sound nothing like they did during debut, it's like two different groups. omg. anyway this a weird ask ik, sorry again. and thank you for all your edits/gifs! thank you for still creating stuff for the fandom ♡

first of all i already want to apologize for the bad english ♡

every time someone says they stalked my old posts i want the floor to swallow me LMAO there are so many cringe posts there. please dont do that to your eyes laksaksk ok, lets start by answering what sparkled my interest in this amazing group. ive been listening to kpop practically since i was born and ive always been interested in new groups. there was a forum that talks about rumors of new groups and stuff, there i learned about namjoon and the group he would be part of. at that time there was rumored to have other rappers who would be part of bangtan, before their debut time, bangtan already ~sounded~ different from what they were when they debuted. then after that i learned more about namjoon, the group and listened to some of namjoon predebut songs and started to like him. the one who sparked my interest in bangtan was namjoon but the one who made me stay until they debuted was jeongguk. before they even debuted i was crazy about jeongguk laksakls. i lost count how many times i watch their predebut logs and videos. before they debuted i met other people who liked them and these people wanted to make a gif bfor bangtan, then this blog happened. before it was supposed to be a blog with 4 people but they didnt have time to make gifs :/ so it was just me who made gifs here. me, who never had a tumblr and never made gifs in my life ALSKASK. so thats why this is a sideblog ); being in this fandom since the beginning is something really special and important for me. i have experienced many things and emotions here. i had a lot of friends who also started to like bangtan since their debut time but they stopped liking them for those reasons that you are talking about. these friends talk about feeling distant, feeling that bangtan has changed. it is obvious that these changes happen and were not expected but i never saw these changes as negative. i still dont feel this distance feeling. in fact, i feel more and more close to them and at the same time far away. i know its confunsing but its not bad feeling. its just, bangtan and their songs helped me a lot in my life. i always say that id be a totally different sky if i didnt meet them. but i put bangtan in a dangerous place in my life. i depend a lot on bangtan emotionally and physically. and for me that feeling did not do well. and that feeling didnt do me any good. i'm the same age as jeongguk, so i feel like i grew up with them. i was a kid who was 10 years old diagnosed with depression and saw no reason to smile. when i found bangtan they transformed my life. when i was sad i just watched their videos and listen to their song i forgot my personal life. many times that i thought that there was no reason for me to exist in this world but in bangtan i found a ~cover~ for my empty feeling. before i wanted to look for real help, bangtan was that help for me. bangtan still makes a huge difference in my life, just thinking about being without them i feel like crying! i'm not even exaggerating here. i think it was for these reasons that i didnt care much about their changes like my friends did, even though some made me wonder "why is bangtan doing this". like, boy with luv LAKSAKSK i dont hate this song but i never imagined this boy with luv bangtan 😆. so this was my short story of how i'm still here all this time and i know i'll never leave it here. one of the things that is so special about stan bangtan that many fans have a very similar story of how they became a fan. there are many fans who met bangtan at a time in their lives that they really needed them. and it makes me so emotional! i know a lot of the new armys wanted to be here from the beginning but the most important thing is that they came into your life when you really needed it. i dont like to be too personal here so i'm sorry. and idk why but my dyslexia seems to have gotten worse these days so maybe my text looks more confusing than it used to be. i feel we are very lucky to be an army, and to love this group that has an incredible history and that has done and does things that no one ever imagined they were capable of. i will love it if you tell me your story and how your interest in bangtan started. pleaseeeeee~ and please, you dont need to thank me sweetheart ok 😭

[a-tomb-with-a-view]

Full fic rec list, because people have asked

Be warned: chaos and lots of swearing ahead.

Everything by @on-irratia but also I made a specific list of the shit of hers that I adore which you can find here. Here is my list of Bobby fic recs and also my list of Alex fic recs, if there’s anything specific you’re looking for lemme know and I’ll make a smaller list for you :))

Genuinely I love so many fics so obviously not everything is here and this is super tiring so I’m not doing another big, non-specific one for a while, so please feel free to add on or tag authors I don’t have the @ of, there is so much I know I haven’t gotten in here

Sea Shanties Have Nothing On You

Starting in hot with some ralex, its soft, its sweet, I just want a bf/gf to watch me fondly as I lose my fucking mind over a washed in ship wreck at the arse crack of dawn pls & thank. It’s the first of a series, they’re all soft and make me missed being hugged, there’s some boggie, some willex, it’s so soft

Author’s @ unknown

I’ll Bend And I’ll Break But That’s Just The Way I’m Made

The juke? Impeccable. The willex? Sublime. The soft boggie? Amazing. The Reggie-with-an-invisible-disability? So fucking far up my my street. I got to learn something, I got to feel something, loved it

@sweetheartreggie idk why this won’t link

Maybe You Find It Stuck In Your Molars

Genuinely this author slaps and I love all their boggie but this one made me incredibly soft, I loved it, Luke being oblivious, Bobby being mr no feelings until his bf or his best friend needs assurance or love bc he found three needy bitches and said these are mine 💜 and I love him for it

@sunsetcurvecuddles

BOBBY’S SEXUALITY CRISIS SUMMER

Okay I love Agnes and everything she’s done, obviously, but this is just so bloody fun, and so fucking soft, and it had insights into Bobby’s relationship with everyone and I just thought it was neat yk

@the-anxious-gay-drummer

Maybe We’re Meant To Be

I genuinely don’t know what it is about this fic, but I just started crying halfway through it. I don’t even mean like my eyes got glassy and my shoulders shook a little bit, which is usually the extent of my feelings, I mean I literally sat there and fucking cried for ten minutes, it’s got some phantoms ot3 and some bobby&willie qpr and I love it sm

I don’t know if the author currently has a tumblr

(You Know) The Rest By Heart

This is some good ole phantoms ot3, we have their friendship with Bobby, their friendship with each other, their relationship developing from three ridiculously codependent friends to three ridiculously corrodent more-than-friends which is incredibly true to form and it just gives the good ole warm and fuzzies

Idk the authors @

I’ve Been So Good (Where The Hell Is The Karma)

I’m a sucker for some good ghost Bobby shit, anf this is the good ghost Bobby shit. We got different times of death, some emotional processing, some boggie, it’s fuckin awesome

@itsthebooks

Relight The Spark

Ray!!! Adopts!!!! Some!!!!! Motherfucking!!!!! Ghosts!!!!!! That’s literally all I have to say on this one it made me so fuckin soft and ugh just go read some ray&reggie y’all it’s chicken soup for the soul

Idk the author’s @

Breathe These City Lights

Just. Willex being fucking adorable, man. Just willex being the softest bastards to grace the face of the planet. I got literally nothing else to say, it’s soft, it’s sweet, and willex

@sunsetsandcurves

Dude, Where Are My Keys?

God this makes me so fucking soft, it’s Ray!! Adopting!!!! Reggie!!! Except more like Reggie adopting Ray but Idgaf this is just the actual height of adorable

@thedeathdeelers

I’ll Keep Us Together (Whatever It Takes)

God man. I just reread this because I’m literally just going through my comments to find things I’ve commented on to see if I wanna put them in here and good god. It fucking wrecked me again it’s incredible. The willex, the longing, the slight angst? Incredible

@sunsetcurbed

Family Matters

Ray!!! Adopts!!!!! Some!!!!!! Mcfuckin!!!!! Ghosts!!!!!!!! Like. God this is so soft and sweet and I would like to be hugged by a father pls and thank you <3

Idk the author’s @

You’re Pulling Down My Walls Like You’re My Only Sun

This fic is just. It’s so fucking beautiful, and it goes into different types of love and different expressions of love, and there’s Alex and the guys and willex and it’s just. It’s rly good kiddos it’s rly fucking good

Call My Bluff/Call Me Babe

*screeches in fake dating and yearning and pining and holymotherfuckingsonofabitch this is so soft*

Idk the author’s @

But I Think I’m Lost Without You

Would recommmend reading the sequel immediately after for the sake of not wanting to cry, but honestly this and the sequel are so so good and I loved the insight into the boys and Bobby and the dumbassery of them not knowing they’re all in love and I really loved the storytelling of this with the photos and the little anecdotes

Idk the author’s @

Umm, I Never Went To Oovoo Javer

This is just fucking funny ngl. It’s funny, it’s sweet, you’ll have a great time, what more could you possibly want? Willex? Well this bad boy has that too

@sunnylemonss

There are many that I’ve undoubtedly missed because I’m not smart enough to keep a note of fics I’ve enjoyed, but I’ll prolly do this again at some point, so enjoy these kids

[canadian-riddler]

idk if tumblr ate my ask but. if it did, 30 (obsession) for the riddler or scriddler?

Tumblr says, ‘your other ask was delicious, nom nom nom’

I says, ‘even if it hadn’t this is taking me a really long time because the music I’m listening to has made me too hype to write with any speed at all’

AO3 :D

‘Obsession’

Characters: Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma [Scriddler]

The first time Jonathan saw him was on the front page of the newspaper.  He could say with absolute certainty that was the day it started. 

Before that day Jonathan would have been first in line to declare there was no such thing as a human being that was so attractive that one could not control themselves.  It was poppycock, he insisted.  Anyone who allowed something as primal as hormones to waylay their every thought was a weakling and a fool.  Jonathan had looked upon a lifetime of people and had never so much as done a single double-take.

The newspaper was in a browbeaten metal box next to a bus stop.  It was locked and the only access was either by key, vandalism, or coin.  Jonathan obviously did not have a key, the location made it difficult to vandalise, and he was loath to pay for absolutely anything.  But one of those three he needed choose, and he justified the third by telling himself it was a small price to pay to get the newspaper into his hands and thus have physical evidence that the man pictured there really was not so beautiful as his memory was bound to recall him.  He tucked it under his arm and did not look at it until he was safely home, and he discovered he was correct: he was not so beautiful as he recalled.  He was even moreso.

Jonathan put the newspaper into his desk drawer and failed not thinking about it.  Every single minute of every single day was haunted by the image of the beautiful man printed upon its face.  He could not sleep for the thought of it.  His lectures at the university, already marred with his general disinterest with being there, were now riddled with pauses and repetition as his thoughts unravelled even while he was speaking them.  He was well-known to the staff as a solitary and unpleasant creature, so his constant inquiries as to the man in the newspaper were met mostly with confusion and dismissal.  He was disgusted in himself for the asking but he could not stop.

Until the night he no longer had to, for he entered his apartment to find Edward there within it.  He stood in the doorway to his bedroom motionless and thoughtless and directionless.

“Well,” Edward said, his voice beautiful and direct from his lips to Jonathan’s ears, “you wanted me.  Here I am.”

Jonathan had never put a single neuron into concluding what Edward must have smelled like, but all of the ones available were thinking about it now.  He had no name to put to the man’s subtle scent other than ‘perfect’.  And he was draped casually across Jonathan’s desk, which would doubtlessly cause it to sink into the wood and remain there long after he left as an olfactory spectre which Jonathan would find himself unable to escape.

His hair was in that god-awful tousled style that Jonathan would now never be able to see on another man without thinking of him.  It was that certain colour that was achieved only by maple leaves only on one day of the year and some of it was visible from the top of the shirt of which he had not done up the top few buttons.  Jonathan had a nearly visceral need to see the rest of it, and whereupon it ran down his torso, down towards his artfully concealed genitals.  Jonathan’s own were filling with a steady heat it was already too late to hide.  Not even the rare shame threatening to wash through him was enough to convince his barely used equipment to settle back where it belonged.  For all his former conviction, it turned out he shared this carnal similarity with all those he had debased after all.

Edward laughed.  It was condescending, and Jonathan hated that he deserved it.  Edward swung himself to sitting with his knees spread and Jonathan hated that he had done it.  “Surely you haven’t been stalking me all this time just so you could stare at me,” Edward said.  “What was your aim, hm?  Did you mean to lock me up in your basement, perhaps?”

Jonathan had indeed fantasized many times about that very thing.  About restraining him, naked, to the wall with manacles which would chafe and bruise and ruin his beautiful skin.  He would leave him down there until he was emaciated and weak and then this would all end for he would have been made ugly as all of humanity was.

Edward shook his head and twitched his wrist up to eye level.  “I’m out of time, I’m afraid.  Good talk.”  And he simply stood and left as Jonathan stared after him, his entire body rigid and unmoving.

The obsession somehow escalated from there.

His room was soon plastered with every newspaper page which contained any mention of Edward.  Any and all news stories about him were preserved on video tape.  He dreamed and he dreamed and he dreamed of Edward, and he had never before been one for masturbation, but it did not matter how often or in what way he did it for the intense sexual desire Jonathan had for him never ceased.  In the dreams Edward was always beautiful, always enticing Jonathan to come to him, but when he did his hands could not feel the shape of him nor could his mind conjure up any image of what he may have looked like beneath his clothes and he knew it was because whatever he managed to think up would be so far inferior to the real thing that it was not worth the effort to visualise.  He lost hours sitting at his desk, the scent Edward had left behind erasing all notion of time or purpose.

Then Edward began to turn up in Jonathan’s daily life.

Jonathan did not ever have to look for him.  He would simply appear at places where Jonathan was already fated to be.  Some of these places were common sense and some of them were not, but Edward appeared in all of them nonetheless.  Jonathan could not leave his apartment without scanning every person he passed for Edward.  He could not remain inside of his apartment without scanning every person who passed the window for Edward.  Night was the only time he could continue his work, and continue his work he did for he had concluded it was his only way out of this.  Edward had stolen his body and so Jonathan would steal his mind.

When next Jonathan saw him the toxin was ready.  He approached, which he had never done before.  Edward’s smile implied he had anticipated such a thing and Jonathan hated the thrill it sparked in his stomach. 

“You have something in mind today, I take it?” Edward said.  His words were the lyrics to a song no one had the skill to write.  Jonathan nodded. 

“I have a truck parked out back.”

Edward hummed in satisfaction and followed him.  Jonathan did not want to take his eyes away when he lifted himself into the bed and leaned back in it as though it were his own and not Jonathan’s, but he had to.  He had to stop this now.  He removed the needle from the glovebox and concealed it behind his back.

“What have you got there?” Edward asked.  Jonathan did not answer.  He instead climbed onto the bed and straddled Edward and pressed his left wrist above his head, at which time he -

They were so close together.  And he knew.  Jonathan could tell that he knew, but he had come anyway.  All of this together stole Jonathan’s breath and his thoughts and replaced it with the violent need to grind his body against Edward’s until the ever-present ache between his legs was relieved at last.  He glanced downward to find that Edward’s bulge was no more present than it had been before, but his was firm beneath Edward’s knowing fingers.  He turned his head aside, into his right arm, in an attempt to dissipate the ensuing moan into his sleeve, but he knew the moment he did so it had not worked.

“Something tells me,” Edward said with accursed playfulness, “that drug isn’t going to be one of the ones I like.”

Jonathan could not answer because his ability to form words had been lost with a motion of Edward’s free hand.

“You know, if I wasn’t certain that was a lethal dose of your little fear experiment, I would have gone for it.  But as it is I’ll have to refuse.  No hard feelings.”

Jonathan bent down and pressed the point of the needle against the side of Edward’s neck.  Edward did not flinch.  Sweat was beading along Jonathan’s hairline and underneath his arms and the place where Edward’s hand was still bewitching him.  “If I kill you,” Jonathan murmured into his ear, “then this will end.”

“Why would you want it to?” Edward whispered.  His breath seemed to caress Jonathan’s skin.  “Tell me, Jonathan.  When was the last time you felt this much excitement?  This alive?  You never have, have you?  That’s why you’ve fallen into this so hard and so deep.  Your work gives you purpose, but it does not give you life.  Not like I do.”

Jonathan prayed that his grip upon Edward’s wrist would not weaken and that his thumb on the plunger would not falter.

“If you kill me,” Edward went on, the sound of his voice making Jonathan helpless, “you will never know the part of yourself that I have awoken.  And you can’t have that.  Can you.”

Jonathan’s breath stalled.  Edward’s eyes glittered knowingly in the dark and Jonathan could not stop looking at them.

“Drop the needle and do what you should have done when I laid myself out so nicely for you on your desk.”

Jonathan’s body obeyed against the panicked protestations of his mind.  He was kissing him at long last, hard and desperate.  His hand had released the needle and was clenching as much of Edward’s buttock as it could grasp, and Edward was laughing but Jonathan did not realise it until he ran out of breath.  He lowered his head to the breast of the man who had broken him and left it there.  Edward’s free hand was in Jonathan’s hair, at once reassuring and condescending, and he did not want for him to ever move it.

“Oh, Jonathan,” Edward fairly hummed into his ear, “you have been fun.”  And his hand, still holding Jonathan’s crotch, clenched and twisted it with sudden violence.  Jonathan saw white and that was all he was able to perceive for a good few moments.  His resumed awareness told him he was curled against the side of the truck, and once he had regained enough of his breath he scrabbled his hand up the bed until he could push himself to sitting.  He looked over his shoulder to see Edward sitting atop the other side, and as soon as their eyes met Edward smiled and swept his legs over the side and disappeared.  Jonathan could not get up fast enough to chase him and he noticed with a start that the syringe was gone.

Days went by.  Days, and then weeks, and then months.  Edward had gone.  He had vanished.  Jonathan tore through newspapers for mention of him in between glances at the ever-on television for a hint towards his whereabouts.  He scoured the Internet to the best of his limited ability and glowered at the publicly viewable footage and photographs and words describing the man who should have been his and only his.  He fantasized about storming into the places who thought they had the right to publish anything about him, inflicting upon them their worst fears and watching as the building burned to the ground before him.  He did not purposely sleep, and the occasions he found himself doing so he woke with clothes both sticky and sweat-soaked, driven by dreams of all the things he could have done when Edward had been beneath him but had not.

It was seven months and twenty-five days later when Jonathan received the postcard.  The photograph upon the front contained nothing he recognised, but the words upon the back froze his very blood:

You want me.  Here I am.

Jonathan learned then there was something worse than lust.  The rage that rose up in him was blinding and numbing and deafening, and a scream of fury tore a strip into the back of his throat that would echo for days.  His hands, divorced from any thought at all, tore the postcard asunder into a hundred jagged pieces and his eyes did not watch himself do it.  When vision returned to them his breath shuddered and his legs weakened.  He found himself kneeling on the floor amidst the fragments, and after a moment he began to gather them together in a panic.  “No,” he whispered to himself with a horror he would never learn how to inflict upon another.  “No!” 

He tried for hours to reassemble the card, but to no avail.  The pieces were too small and too many.  He held the scrap which contained the most of the words Edward had written and clenched it tightly within both hands.  And then Jonathan knew something which was nearly as horrible as the rage had been, and that was sorrow.  His body was a rigid inward curl and he cried hot and bitter tears into his own knees, his forehead pressed into his clasped hands.  Edward’s laugh was echoing in his ears.  Even now Jonathan could not find it ugly.

The sleep that came to Jonathan then was of a sort he had not known in years, deep and black and dreamless, and when he awoke and looked upon the evidence of what he had spent months upon months buried inside of he felt nothing.  He felt nothing at all.  Edward was still beautiful, but whatever part of him had cared was no longer there.  His eyes fell to the paper scattered upon the floor. 

“No,” he said to it.  “No, I think I will wait until it is you who wants me.”

And he rose to his feet and laughed and began to think of what he would do when finally that day came. 

[xserpx]

As a Dresden Files fan who's drifted during the hiatus, I wonder if the fandom will return to its heyday? What are your thoughts?

I don't know. It really depends what you consider the 'fandom', because as far as I know the subreddit is still thriving and Dresden is still super popular with fans across the Internet. It's only here on tumblr where the fandom's taken a nose dive, with @captaindibbzy no longer running @unseelieaccords and many long-standing fans having given up on the series, plus my own dissatisfaction with PT/BG. It's not necessarily the quality of the books that are to wholly blame, either. The hiatus was a long time, and many people have simply lost interest and moved on to other things.

I really think the ship might have sailed for the fandom on tumblr. Love of Murph and criticism of the persistent sexism was kind of the glue binding us together (or at least sparking interesting conversations!), but now Murph and Thomas aren't around I just don't feel inclined to support it with as much vigour as I did before. Also Tumblr is a place where we enjoy shipping, and almost all the canon ships in the series atm are either bad or sunk. It's funny seeing more Butters/Harry fans, but even the Marcone/Harry fans seems to have gone quiet recently. I feel similar about the direction PT&BG has taken as I do about the Avengers: I wanted more shawarma kebabs at Avengers tower, but JB is actually rescinding the incredible found family aspect he's built up over however many books in favour of a much darker, less humorous story with more focus in Dresden himself. Works for some, but in general tumblr fans prefer the shawarma.

I'd be interested to hear anyone else's thoughts on this. I do feel some mild regret about being so very negative about Battle Ground, and I definitely wish Murph meant less to me so that I could see past her loss, but to have Justine and Thomas on top of that, plus the weirdness with Marcone... idk, man. I didn't just lose one character, I lost a bunch. And I feel like PT & BG raised so many more questions than they answered, even though we're now in the last quarter of the series, and atm with the shit end of Game of Thrones and everything, I think the culture as a whole is getting really antsy about authors who can't promise an ending.

[alias-b]

The Shape.

Summary: It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare. Being blind, Marnie McClane considers herself scared of very little. Few things worse than the polite pity she gets from the neighborhood. A misunderstanding leads to a conversation she’ll never forget while she recalls an old friend.

A/N: I’m not back, I might return Monday but idk I guess when I’m down, I write things for slashers that interest very few in my circle. Posting anyways :( I made this in 2 hrs lol

Hope this is enjoyed either way, just trying to get my drive back. Thanks all!! ((TW: Shockingly none!!! Light threats of danger maybe?? No smut sorry)) Let me know what you think and I promise to reply when I return to tumblr for good. xoxo

Halloween, 1963

   “Trick-or-treat!”

   Always followed with shy giggles and little, outstretched hands.

  “Take as many as you like.” A bowl was pushed forward with a colorful selection. Marnie McClane tilted her head to hear the rustling. Parents chided so ‘thank yous’ followed.

   “You’re all very welcome.”

  “Richie, don’t take that many!” A voice sparked. 

  “Ah, mom, she said to take a bunch. She can’t see me!”

  “Richie!”

  “It’s alright, we bought too much this year.” Marnie listened to footsteps across cobblestone.

  “Richie, don’t run too far, young man!”

  “I won’t!” 

  “Sorry about him. Just at that age. You know?” Mrs. Castle approached the porch Marnie had seated herself on.

  “Kids.” A light shrug followed.

  “Who did your decorating?”

  “Dad and I before they left for my Aunt’s.” Eerie blue eyes shifted a few directions. No focused on any impossible blur in the black.

  “And...you’re alright here by yourself?”

  Marnie tried not to sour. The nosy neighbors meant well.

  “Yes. Get around fine same as always.” She plucked up a cane next to her and tapped the ground.

  “Oh, well, that’s good. Pretty costume.”

  “Mom said Red Riding Hood was in this year so I let her dress me. Honestly, I think she just wanted me to stand out in the bright red cape if I decided to wander.” Marnie paused to greet another small round of kids. Smiling to offer the packed bowl.

  “My, ah, nephew is visiting. He’s smart. So handsome. Studying to be a lawyer. You’ll like him. I’ll send him by. Just some good company.”

  Marnie twitched a smile. Story of her life. Everyone trying to set her up with nice, young men. Pity dates for the blind girl.

  “Great.” She replied flatter. “So nice.”

  “You two will hit it off, I just know it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an impatient boy gesturing- I’m coming, Richie! ...Enjoy your Halloween dear.”

  “You too, Mrs. Castle.” Marnie heard the wind rustling.

  Chatter and footsteps. Distantly, birds flapped overhead. It was easier to greet trick-or-treaters from the porch steps. Cold didn’t bug her during long autumn days. Always nice to feel wind on her face.

  Not like she could watch much on television. 

  The night lingered and candy ran low.

   Marnie picked up her thin cane and tapped around. Heard some animal rustle violently in the bushes. Probably a raccoon, they loved to eat the pumpkins. She moved back up the steps so she could put the bowl inside and shut the porch light off after feeling for the switch. When her parents weren’t home, she kept the house pitch black.

  She didn’t need the lights.

  Shifting back to the porch stairs, Marnie crouched down and reached about for the pumpkin sitting there. Lifting it poised to blow out the candle. The flicker of warmth touched her expression

  A ragged breath cut into the space. Near the open gate. Made her perk. Dark hair fell over her shoulders and she exhaled. Leaving the candle on to bathe her face.

  “Hello?” Feet shifted over concrete, making a slow scrape. She pressed her lips together. “I suppose you’re here to tell me it’s against the rules to snuff the lights in a pumpkin before Halloween ends.”

  No reply.

  “Well, I suppose I can leave them on just this once. Can’t upset the Halloween spirits.”

  Nothingness.

  “Are you Mrs. Castle’s lawyer nephew? Forgive me, she didn’t tell me your name.” Marnie sat there on the porch. Heard the steps get closer. “Silent type.”

  The Shape stood over her in darkness. Figured the nephew was the man he’d left in the bushes a few moments ago. The street around them hushed as more houses turned off their porch lights. Marnie stood with the pumpkin under one arm. Face glowing.

  “Name’s Margaret. McClane. Marnie for short. How do you do?” She extended one hand out into the wind. Felt the cool breeze kiss it. A broad palm lifted, decided against it, and dropped. 

  All she heard was the tapered breathing. Even like a heartbeat.

  “Shy sort.” She tucked hair away and sat down to put the carved face aside. “Well, you walked all this way. I didn’t hear a car. You can sit if you like.” Bright eyes stared ahead into nothingness. The Shape moved finally. Sat upon the creaking porch steps. “Studying to be a lawyer. I thought you’d talk my ear off. It’s okay, I can talk enough for both of us. Like a guessing game, I like those. Probably my condition. Most of my life is a guessing game.”

  She tilted her head to laugh softer. A too sweet sound. 

  “It’s alright to laugh with me.” She clutched her cane in one hand and placed the other on her knee. “Good sense of humor makes the day a little easier.”

  He might of grunted but she couldn’t quite tell.

  “You’re already thinking I talk too much. I get it a lot.” Marnie swallowed. Sounded a little harder. “We can get one thing straight. I’m blind. I’m not shy. Not helpless. If I need help, I have a perfectly good voice and I use it. I know it annoys people, but they’re too polite. So, if you’re the polite, pitying type, I think it’s best you continue on elsewhere.”

  He didn’t move. She inhaled the air. Metal. Grass. Dirt. Earthy-like.

  “Very well.” Marnie’s lips lifted again. They sat there together. A dark fall night with a glow from the moon and stars twinkling.

  Marnie could imagine them. Although she figured the stars were multi-colored like Christmas lights and the moon was a blob of a shape. Moving as a lava lamp would.

  “I lost it when I was young. My eyesight. I have these memories like maybe I saw what a cat looked like or my mother’s face. But, it’s probably all wrong now.” She leaned back like she was admiring the moon. Basking in its light. Thoughtfully, she recalled something else. “You remind me of a friend I had. He was quiet too. We fit together. He spoke very little and I too much. He didn’t seem to mind. Like you.”

  A head turned finally to study her behind a rubber mask.

  “You know, that old stereotype, that all blind people wanna do is touch faces...it’s all wrong. Everyone thinks I want to, I hate it when they force my hand up without asking.”

  He puffed.

  “Exactly, it’s so rude. I don’t often touch faces. I don’t like to.” She placed her cane’s handle under her chin to hum. “But, this boy I knew...I asked to touch his face. Everyone used to call him angelic-like. Said he had the face of an angel. I wanted to know what an angel’s face felt like.”

  Marnie laughed again like it was silly.

  “Though, I suppose I had nothing to compare it to.” She paused and he felt for a moment that she was looking through him. Burning into the chill of stone and black. Slowly, Marnie scooted closer. Not enough to touch him, but enough to feel body heat vibrate. Her chest shuddered.

  He didn’t move. Hard and rigid like marble.

  “Can I touch your face?” She lifted one hand. “I just want to know if you’re smiling or frowning. Trying to figure out if I should shut my damn mouth.” Extending as steady as she could. A slash cut through the air.

  Marnie gasped out.

  Fingers curled firm around her wrist. Another shaky breath. One they shared.

  “Sorry, if I offended you.” Softening, she stayed there. Heard his lungs vibrate. 

  A rustle followed. Knuckles twitched as he closed the distance. Let her draw lines up his jaw that was smooth and angled carefully. Face sculpture just so. Maybe by angels.

  When he couldn’t handle more. He pushed up from Marnie. Pulled his mask down. Felt the warmth of her touch trapped under it.

  “Leaving?” She jumped up, dropping her cane aside. A hand went out and missed it. The footsteps stopped at her gate. Returned before her cane was pushed aimlessly at her palms. She paused. “Thank you.”

  A glint of a blade met the moonlight. He pointed it at her heart while she stood oblivious. One plunge, it would have eased into her like butter. A stray, dark lock shifted over her eye. 

  “Maybe you’ll tell me your name next time we meet. I hope.” Marnie hushed. Unaware. Unafraid. One finger awkwardly shifted the hair from her face, tracing the line of her cheekbone in the process. She leaned into it and remembered something else. “Michael.”

  He froze. Blade still poised. Tremoring, he pulled back from her face.

  “That was my friend’s name.” She sounded out the syllables mournfully. “He changed. Went away. That’s what they told me. I always wished he grew comfortable enough to speak his thoughts. That’s why I’m not shy. No use hiding behind masks. Except on Halloween, I suppose. I’ve never touched an angel before, but maybe you’re close. It can be another guessing game.”

  Marnie smiled kindly down the blade, chest sinking.

  “If not, that’s fine too.” She said, catching his hand when it came down. Both their palms were chilled. He thought to slash forward. To crush her. Whatever was left of the boy with a face of an angel turned him back to marble. Delicately, Marnie placed one careful kiss upon his knuckles. Burned it there for the rest of his life.

  There was a pause while he slipped away.

  Before she heard the steps retreating.

  “Will I see you again?” She chuckled at herself. Touching her lips. “Sorry, the phrase always makes me laugh.” Marnie went up her porch, cane clicking as she felt for the doorknob. Michael Myers stopped at the gate. Saw her shifting in shadows to open the door. “Will you come back?

  Lips opened to sound out a single word against the cool, night air. Neither of them heard what is was. Just the breath that cast with it. Marnie’s lips pressed simply. 

  She bid The Shape a lovely goodnight and went inside. Left him there. Taking what lingered of the past with her. Leaving him the burn of a kiss he would never forget.

[harristops]

Ok so…your famous theory that the pride play better when Ash is not in goal … explain last nights game then .. they played Gotham not that long ago and won no goals conceived and last night against the same team with Ash in goal again they played shit and lost .. so pls pls explain that with your Erin in goal better pride theory … cause your theory makes no sense. No Offenes tho.

I mean the Gotham win wasn't a whole team effort tbh. They still didn't play well that game even though they won they just got lucky that Gotham didn't have its full fledged attacking power like they did tonight. And my theory isn't about wins or losses its about how they play in general. In general, aside from those weird ass subs last night, the Pride don't play with the same fire or kick as they do with another keeper in net, or if they do find their fire, it's in the dying minutes of the game and it means nothing. Not only that, they can't manage to score more than 2 goals with Ash when they've had two games where they have scored 3 goals with Erin (teams that, when played with Ash, again only resulted in one goal both games - not to mention it was a draw against Louisville and Ash had to be the one to make the assist).

Idk what the real problem is aside from the inconsistency of the midfield and the offense. I don't get why they suddenly get how to play soccer when Ash isn't in net. And I'll bold it here, it is a really small sample size because Erin has only played a handful of games. I just don't get why the same spark isn't there with a keeper as good as Ash. The defense wasn't the biggest problem last night, but they were and have been steadily been a problem. A lot of the wins Orlando has had or even some of the draws, haven't been because of a stellar defense but because of Ash holding down the goal and Syd holding down the entire field. For example, the CC game against Washington wasn't a win for the Pride even though it ended 1-0. The defense was awful that game and so was the midfield. It was thanks to Ash and her 10 saves and Syd and her goal that we won that game. It was not a stellar performance by the entire team, for real. With Erin, the entire team comes to play and it looks like we have ten field players playing.

Let me be clear: this is not about Erin being better than Ash. On paper Erin has more experience, but the Pride is Ash's baby and she does a phenomenal job and if she has two bad nights I don't blame her when she's carried this team on her back through this season. Erin is amazing at her supporting role that she plays and I'm sure Ash values having someone like her in her corner. Ash should always get the start but her team is the one that needs to step up for her.

I don't take offense, don't worry. It's an unpopular and rather weird theory. But it's the theory I have and the reason why I believe in it is because whenever this team plays with Ash the energy shifts. Idk if it's because of that thing one anon said, where Ash's mood or energy sets the tone and if she's off the rest of the teams off (but that can't explain the CC Washington game or when we played NCC and lost 2-0 and she still had a fantastic night at home - both these games she was on fire but her team was nowhere to be found to help out).

I think the fundamental problem lies with the inconsistency in how the Pride play overall, regardless of who's in net. It might be completely circumstantial that Ash's presence has any effect on how they play, thus I may be totally wrong, but that's okay. I still believe in my theory, but the only way to test it further is throw Erin or Britt in net and there's no way to do that now since we have 3 crucial games to win and we can't be making changes to GKs unless for injury. It's an experiment for next season if the Pride are willing to test this absurd theory (which they won't bc I'm a tiny little tumblr blogger in the ass end of nowhere and my opinion or theories don't matter in the grand scheme).

Anyways idk if that makes any sense but to sum it up, the reasons why I believe in my theory that the Pride play differently (not better or worse just differently) when Ash is in net vs any other keeper is: 1) they manage to have dominant wins and play as a team, 2) the whole team energy shifts and passes/distributions/set pieces are more effective, 3) AK leads with authority and the backline is much stronger and stingy, and 4) every game where Ash hasn't played so far has resulted in being a draw or a win for this regular season. Again, it's a super small sample size comparing these 4 games to the 17 that Ash has played in but if you review even our wins, you will see they were not so much dominant Pride performances (excluding Chicago and the first Portland game), but rather getting a goal or two and then sitting back and defending, or getting a last minute goal to draw. It's frustrating to watch because Ash deserves better and her team is so inconsistent that you can hardly tell what you're gonna get each game they do play.

Anyways this was a long one but hope it makes sense and you can definitely disagree and says it makes no sense, but it would be interesting to see why you think the Pride play better with Ash in net with your evidence or reasoning (since I've provided mine). Then maybe we can compare notes and see if there are things maybe I missed that I should've taken account, or even with what I've said here, things you've missed and should've taken account into. Always open!

[lumiereandcogsworth]

rules: tag people u wanna know better

tagged by @brian-zeller thank you my bro

your name and what you would have named yourself: lydia, and when i was like five i wanted to change it to jessie! true story! i did not like my name as a kid. but i’m glad i’m lydia i think i’ve grown into it.

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): sagittarius and i do not know the other stuff

when did you join tumblr and why: january of 2019 because jess said lyd how do you not have a tumblr and i said i have no idea! i ran a successful superwholock instagram and pinterest for several years and just never made the jump i could not tell you why but i’m glad to be here now!

top five fandoms: beauty and the beast consumes most of my mind but... watcher entertainment, schitt’s creek, coco, and poldark

top five films: beauty and the beast 2017, forrest gump, coco, big fish, back to the future, pride & prejudice yes i know that’s six too bad

go-to song when you wanna Feel something: multipled by needtobreathe, even if by mercyme, annie’s song by john denver, fireworks by first aid kit, alive in you by jesus culture, idk, really depends on the mood.

what’s your religion or faith if you have one: christian! lutheran, specifically. but yeah

a song that makes you feel seen: eh i don’t relate to songs like that. annie’s song by john denver and multipled by needtobreathe hit me the most.

if you could have any career: a successful author or screenwriter or director or something

do you have a type? dev patel. lmao but idk, nice smile, nice eyes, nice hair?? respectful?? FUNNY????

what does your heart/soul yearn for? a soulmate and a love to last years

if you had to describe yourself in five words to someone who doesn’t know you: i’m kind and also sarcastic <3

favorite subjects in school: in high school i liked my electives most. creative writing, ceramics, painting, nutrition and wellness, life skills. i promise it was a normal shitty american public high school i just didn’t care much for the regular classes. although i did like a lot of my senior year classes, english, environmental science, government/economics— but i think that was cuz i was friends with everyone and we all had senioritis and were fuckin around the whole time lmao. anyway. i’m a comparative ethnic studies major now!

where does your soul feel most at home? surrounded by my family (both actual family and my close good friends <3)

top 5 fictional characters: adam, belle, morwenna, rafael barba, ben wyatt

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: bro literally every finale of any show i’ve finished??? especially schitt’s creek, friends, the office, poldark... finales get me every time. only specific scene i can think of right now was in poldark when dwight and caroline’s daughter died and dwight just went to ross and burst into tears and hugged ross sobbing. did some real ugly crying there.

the earth, the sun, the moon, or the stars: the stars!!!!!!!!!!

favorite kind of weather: sunny enough that i don’t have to wear a jacket but i’m not going to catch on fire standing still.

top 3 characters you kin with: uhh what did we say. ben wyatt, nick miller, and cogsworth. incredible combination.

favorite medium of art: to admire? i don’t know, paintings, maybe. movies? music? dance? it’s all good and i’m always amazed by people’s abilities and talents!!! to perform for myself, however? writing

introvert/extrovert/ambivert? what is the last one?? is that like something in the middle? root word: ambivalent? maybe i’m that. i usually say introvert, though.

a favorite literary quote: “music saved something inside them that might otherwise have been lost. imagination, power, a glowing spark in their chests that always reminded them: “don’t let the bastards tell you what to be, go your own way, dance badly and sing loudly and become the best!”” from Fredrik Backman’s Us Against You

some of your favorite books: well! anything Fredrik Backman has written. he’s my favorite author. particularly though: beartown and its sequel, mentioned above. I also like the first fifteen lives of harry august, the goldfinch, sam, and uhh... to kill a mockingbird.

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? i’ve no idea! i’ve been so few places!! i’ll go anywhere!!

if you could live in any time in history when would it be? dream aesthetic, i’m an 18th century noble’s daughter. though i wouldn’t really want to be a woman at any point except present day. but also gotta love that 1970s aesthetic babey!!

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: guitar or drums or both

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: i do not have one!

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: here have a very random but accurate aesthetic board of me instead!

tagging: @ilikebigassbuttsandicannotlie @enchanted-keys @joenicky @eccleston @hiddenblood @queenamidalas @ceasarslegion + anyone who wants to :-)