#tumblr is just fucking up like always
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.
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Tell me your opinions on the stuff. Any stuff.
Grins. Smiles, even
I'm using you as an excuse to infodump my theory about the Island because I've had no in to do that, and my theory is pure opinion. Anyways:
THE ISLAND IS STUCK IN THE FUCKING FUTURE
(SCARE CHORD)
Hi so you might ask me. What the fuck do you mean by that. Well. Let's start with what we know about the Island, the King, and Wish Craft. (long ass post under cut. sorry)
The Island was redacted from the perception of outside world, via Wish Craft.
Wish Craft has the power to enable Time Craft. We see this primarily through Siffrin's timeloops, but also through the King's powers.
One of the King's powers is to show the saviors a "vision of the future."
...And this same attack is deflected back at the King by Mirabelle in ACT 5, in which the King is able to see the Island before being frozen in time.
...So. The King's "vision of the future." We're never told explicitly what this vision is. All we know is that it's apparently powerful enough to wipe the party in one hit, hearing it from a distance hurts your head, and that whatever Siffrin (and Loop) saw, they don't seem to actually be able to describe it. Even the King himself doesn't know what his vision entails.
We don't know whether the party all sees the same thing when struck by the vision, and Adrienne's answer to the question about it in the Reddit AMA is. vague? It's not a "no," and the specific wording makes me think the answer might be yes. But that's me reading into it.
Now. What do we know about the Island's redaction? The Island was affected by the wish recently, as in "like a decade ago" recently. We know that nobody in Vaugarde or the rest of the world is capable of thinking about the Island, anything closely tied to the Island's culture, or people on the Island for very long. When they do recall these things, they slip right out of reach. Particularly, the consequence for trying to think about the Island (or, more specifically, break the wish that forces the Island out of perception) is significant pain, localized in the head.
And that said pain is enough to become lethal, if pressed hard enough.
From here forward I'm running with the assumption that the King's "vision of the future" is not personalized to any individual, and is unchanging throughout the course of the whole story. Now. Remember the end of ACT 5, where the King gets hit with the deflected "vision of the future", and instead of dying, he recalls the Island and gets frozen in time? Very odd, yeah? Why wouldn't the King just die like everyone else does? He even does take 9999 damage when trying to say its name, like Siffrin does, and like the party does when they're hit by the attack.
Well. We know that he has a "true wish" that the ability to freeze Vaugarde in time grants. I don't think it's at all a stretch to guess that the King's "true wish" is to be able to remember the Island. My personal guess is that the King (and Siffrin) brought this "true wish" into effect via the "SAY ITS NAME" sequence- he even tries three times, a significant number in wishing.
The King (and Siffrin's) wish breaks, because it can't be fulfilled in this moment without breaking the wish to prevent the Island from being thought about. However. Consider the conditions at the end of ACT 5- the King sees the vision of the future reflected back to him, and what he sees is the Island. He remembers the Island, fulfilling his own wish, and is frozen in time. I consider this a compromise between his wish and the one binding the Island- the King gets to remember the Island, but nobody alive is able to think about it, because he's frozen in time; it's like the Universe is correcting itself (I WILL GET BACK TO THIS). The wish of all of Vaugarde to defeat the King is fulfilled, since he is no longer a threat, and Siffrin's wish wraps itself up soon after.
MY POINT BEING. The King's attack is a vision of the future. This "future" is of the Island, in some uncorrupted state. The saviors see it when he attacks them, and he sees it when it is deflected back to him.
The logical next question is "okay, so the Island exists in the future, but how do you know time shenanigans are even related to the Island?"
Recall a very odd series of interactions throughout the game, in which you try to interact with a piece of equipment that you already own.
The game rewinds slightly, before the item disappears, as the Universe corrects itself.
This is awfully similar to two particular events: looping back without seeing the death screen, and talking to the Daydreaming One about her sister. The latter is more interesting to me for the purposes of this theory.
youtube
In both instances, something is misaligned within the Universe (an item existing in two places, someone remembering something they're not supposed to) and it is corrected through some sort of rewind. Also compare the dialogue above to when you try to give Mirabelle the Stylish Bow when you already own it.
The world glitches, but Siffrin defuses the situation before the Universe has to intervene. Omitted from the screenshot is the fact that Mirabelle's portraits switch to happy from "catastrophically anxious" with no transition after Siffrin shows her where the bow is. Important to note is that when Mirabelle tries to recall receiving the bow, her head hurts, much like how trying to break the Island wish causes a headache.
The Universe leads you away from perception, and you can only follow.
My theory that I keep circling around is that through Wish Craft, the Island has been displaced temporally. The denizens of the Island, as well as the Island itself, still exist, but they are in the future. The Island is still loaded into the world, like how equipment is before you try to interact with it, and the Island cannot leave this quantum state, because it never actually went anywhere. The magnitude of the redaction event is so severe with the Island, because it is so much larger as an entity than a sword or a bow. There are of course things I don't really have pieced together, like why somebody would wish the Island into the future, how far into the future it is, or why equipment behaves this way. But it's the only Island theory I've seen that I have some level of confidence in, so I might as well lay out my cards for it.
#asks#this counts as an opinion right? idk#isat meta#isat theory#isat spoilers#isat#sorry i fucking love talking at people but im terrible at coming up with things without a hook so im just saying Any Words#also i cant have opinions without citing my sources.#i'm literally not even the first person to come up with this theory but it has been slowly eating away at my mind for months#and since that one person in isatcord who is smarter than me brought it up i havent really seen this theory in circulation#so i've been wanting to make a post compiling evidence for it for like. fucking forever#sorry to dunk you guys in images hell but like. I need you to See It. See my vision. of the futu- (is shot)#thank you feli as per always your website is so sexy andawesome and cool and it's the best forever.#(SORRY FOR THE YT EMBED BTW. TUMBLR HATES MEEEE)#this is not the most cohesive theory in the world via both my terrible explaining abilities as well as the holes i mentioned#but i think it's an interesting theory and i want to share it. sorry anon
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holy moly
#epic the musical#hermes#hermes epic the musical#wouldn’t you like#my art#artists on tumblr#I never know how to fucking caption my art so its always something extremely simple and or boring#can you notice that i gave up on rendering halfway through?#ANYWAYS VENGEANCE SAGA ON THURSDAY IM VIBRATING ON THE FREQUENCY OF DANGEROUS#nonrelated to epic:#just bit my lips by accident but like.... not actually biting just a small pinch#and now I have a small blood blister on my lower lip and somehow looks so cool#kinda wanna keep it forever#it's so small but very visible#because its so small it kinda looks like a tiny mole on the lips
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I'm thinking abt that pretty fall leaves embroidery pattern post and about how like... it is categorically a repost, it's a reupload. right? a thing that is generally disliked. but because it's credited, it's genuinely boosting the artist in question. and it could ALWAYS be like this. reposting content could ALWAYS be a symbiotic relationship, but because sourcing back to the original creator of something is so uncommon, it's just easier to ask people not to repost it at all. and people still don't understand the difference. or they'll go to the effort of cropping out usernames/signatures to repost something, which is More Effort than literally crediting the creator of something you liked enough to want to repost. Like. I literally don't actually care if my own shit gets reposted, you have to understand. I just don't want it STOLEN. But "do not repost" is easier to write on my art than "you can repost this, but don't alter the image/remove my signature, don't you dare write 'credit goes to the artist' because that is not credit, please link back to my original post or someplace that you can actually find me. please use an actual link/url instead of writing a non-clickable link of my username, because making it text instead of a clickable link cuts the number of people who will go to the effort of visiting my own page in Half." All those aggregate themed accounts, those fuckin annoying as hell instagrams and facebook groups that are like "body positive art we love wamen 💕 hashtag feminism" and then MASS-STEAL plus sized art created by women, if pages like these that always go and steal my older self-portraits and other works... If they just put a link to my prints of those pieces in the text of those posts, or, fuck, my commission info page? I would literally be living on the moon right now. I would have a house on the moon
#there is actually nothing morally wrong with running an account that just reuploads ppl's artwork or their jokes or their cosplays#if you just put a VISIBLE LINK in the description of your post with proper credit then it would be beneficial for everyone#because you can get your little clout or whatever it is you want by putting a bunch of same-category content on a page#but nobody's getting fucked over because if your post blows up then people just get FUNNELED to the source#because it's placed so plainly where everyone can see it#and yeah it's better to retweet or reblog but#on the rare occasion that I see my shit reuploaded on tumblr WHICH IS WEIRD BC I MAKE MY OWN POSTS HERE but anyway#someone making their own post where they upload my stuff. and it's always the floral self portraits so let's say it's a post with all those#if I scroll to the bottom and it says like. Artwork by Serglesinner on Twitter <-- clickable link [Sergle's Prints] <-- clickable link#to my etsy#I'm like oh okay and all the anger leaves my body and I'm like ah I see. and I toss the rock aside#like oh okay so you actually care that a person made these pieces. Instead of posting the caption ''women <3'' or smth#like you've GOTTA die if you do that. but if you just link back#or if you go to the effort of writing like a description with a BLURB? like it's a damn museum. like a light paragraph of info#about what the art is and who made it and their links#I am literally sucking you in a strange and peculiar manner. that is extremely helpful#and maybe other artists don't want this AT ALL and they'd rather people not reupload even if it is credited#but I feeeeeeeeel. like 99% of the time this would solve the issue#reposters could genuinely be helping ppl. sometimes the repost gets more traction than the real thing#as long as it credits the creator then that's an okay thing to happen!#that can land somebody a sale! a commission order! a new fan! A JOB#A JOB!!!!!!!!!!#sergle.txt#I didn't write this eloquently AT ALL what the fuck ever barkbarkbarkbark
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I think it would be really funny if rin was the more helpful one around his house. Like u would think rin would be the disrespectful one who always bails on housework or mass but its actually yukio who would always have an excuse not to go or forget about chores to the point that rin just does them instinctively now
#this post lagged my phone so bad i had to save it as a draft and switch it to my computer#god is trying to stop me from spreading my 'yukio is an atheist' ideals#anyway this extends to when they live together and when they are adults to the point that rin comes over and does all the chores for yukio#cuz this created an oroboros since rin always did them as a kid now yukio doesnt have them in his brain#he tries his best tho he would neveradmit (at least in highschool) that hes kind of a boyfailure at housework#rin is a homemaker this is my truth#rin is like kinda resentful but not enough to act on it and its so deep down he doesnt even realize its there#like yeah its kinda fucked up that he would ask yukio for help setting things up for mass or doing the laundry but yukio has a busy scedule#and hes wayy smarter than rin so obviously he shouldnt waste his time on stuff like that but rin would never voice those in a negative way#rin doesnt hate helping his brother tho if yukio asked him to come over and clean his house everyday forever he would probably do it#its just the principal of yukio being a perfect angel and rin not getting any credit cuz hes doing 'thankless jobs'#and yukio kinda feels bad even tho he really did have things to do he just couldnt tell rin cuz it was exorcist work#im just writing fanfiction now#accept my okumura twin fanfiction headcanons#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura#'blue exorcist' 'ao no exorcist' yukio okumura' 'rin okumura' are my most used tags on tumblr#am i in your hearts yet blue exorcist tumbr?🥺
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AAAAAAAAA
#me as a dog btw can u guess what kind of dog i am can yo#the second one I dont thinkive even said the first oc’s name anywhere ever she just kind of exists#her name is#my sona for a longtime was just a canine but i don’t use him anymore ever#only fuck#drawings of things i like using refernecing but i always get really caught up with like#oo now i need to make a Moodboard and spend ten hours on flickr and aesthetic tumblr pages ooo and then i don’t do the study#SHUT UP#GET ON WITH IT#my art#digital art#oc art#sona art#doodlings#anthro art#in bath#that angle kicked my ass can you tell#god bless KATHERINE GAINES on flickr for#taking an insane crotch pic of jared louche#i wanna be him#that motion blur really carries the#belt render
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how do some people just go about their day without crippling anxiety?? that lifestyle is so beyond me i cannot even conceptualize it. i have to hype myself up to do even the simplest shit
#had a meeting w a prof today and was actively hyping myself up while walking to his office LMAO#side note but bc of tumblr’s demographic & the general vibes here I assume everyone around me irl struggles w the same underlying anxiety#(which is not true)#but it’s wild whenever I meet people who don’t give a fuck#or I should say simply don’t have anxiety bc anxiety is not always a choice/mindset#it’s just like. how do u exist?? without affirmations I’d be NOTHING#p
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@steddie-week day 1: Hunger | 1.1k words cw: light angst in that Steve is a little sad/dealing with some mental stuff but like hurt/comfort (not EDs which mental stuff combined with the prompt word might make it seem like, hunger is used as a metaphor)
Sometimes Steve doesn’t talk to anyone for days. He just shuts himself in his room and hides, barely leaves his bed. Pretends he doesn’t exist, or that time has stopped and he’s the only thing that exists.
Sometimes, he’ll go back too soon, feel bad for the ignored calls and drag himself out of bed to see the people who matter most to him. But it won’t feel warm and soft those times. He’ll be too raw and It’ll feel like they’re grabbing his insides and eating them. Pulling his heart and brain out of his body and devouring them without letting him eat theirs in return.
Usually, he’s okay with that. He knows his place, he knows that’s what he’s for. For other people to get fed. And he’s happy to feed, to do that for them.
He loves them, of course he’s gonna give himself over. It’s just that sometimes they take too much. They don’t know they do he thinks, they don’t know they’re eating him alive. That he’s presenting himself on a silver platter and letting them take take take, and that sometimes they take too much.
That’s why he disappears, so he can grow back. So he can give more. Because if he stops giving he's afraid they’ll get tired. He won’t be useful, he can’t give when he’s like that. He starts craving, he starts wanting. He feels starved and wants to take and feed too, and that’s not part of the deal. He’s not supposed to eat, he’s supposed to be eaten. So when he turns hungry and ravenous he hides, he isolates.
Robin is the only one who truly gets this about him, who doesn’t take and demand. She gently accepts the things he gives and never without giving too, forcing him to stay whole. It’s overwhelming and sometimes he has to hide from that too, he doesn’t know how to deal with the force of it. He’s so used to the constant hunger it’s a shock when it’s gone but he’s gotten better. And anyway, he and Robin are part of one whole so whatever is given or taken between them is never really gone. It stays with both of them.
Robin is the only one, or she was the only one he should say. Because now there’s Eddie. Eddie who gives and gives and gives, almost as much as he does. But who doesn’t seem to dwindle and dim like Steve does. Who doesn’t seem to starve or hunger. Eddie who notices when Steve does, when he stumbles and gets greedy. Who holds him up and makes him whole with a look, a touch, a word.
Eddie who breaks in through his window when he shuts himself in his big empty house and lays with him in his bed, softly telling Steve stories and running his fingers through his hair.
It’s wonderful.
It's the worst.
“I’m afraid you’re gonna end up as empty as me,” Steve tells him, whispers it into the dark. “That you’re here now and you’re giving and I’m taking and you’re gonna be the one left with nothing.”
Eddie doesn’t respond immediately but hums in acknowledgment, lets him know he heard and is thinking.
“This is good for me too,” he says eventually, “being with you and resting. Getting to be here for you when you never used to let anyone but Robin be. It’s good for me too.”
“It can be good and still drain you.” Says Steve, knows it to be true. He doesn’t resent giving the way he does, he loves it, it’s good. It drains him.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “this doesn’t drain me, you’re comforting me too. It’s balanced.”
Balanced. That’s what Robin tells him too. That’s what Nancy sometimes asked him for when they dated and he couldn’t let her see the cracks. That’s what he wonders about with his other friends.
He doesn’t usually know how to do that. He doesn’t know where the lines are. He doesn’t understand how Eddie knows.
“You let me give, and I let you give, so it’s balanced. We don’t take from each other, we gift and we receive. It’s balanced. You have to let other people give sometimes too, Steve.”
It hits something deep in him, the last words. He knows this, he doesn’t want to know it.
“I’m afraid they won’t. if I open myself up to it. If I ask, I’m afraid they won’t.” He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible but Eddie hears.
His hands still in Steve’s hair for a moment before moving again, gently scratching his scalp.
“I know baby. But that’s not fair, they want to give too. If they knew how much they took without giving back they’d be heartbroken. It’s not fair to you or them.”
Steve lets Eddies words wash over him, he knows he’s right. They’d be nauseous with it. His sweet wonderful friends and family would be crushed.
“Sometimes it will happen, maybe,” Eddie continues when Steve doesn’t respond beyond a sharp breath in. “Sometimes people won’t know how to give after only getting but you gotta let them try. Sometimes they’ll learn and adjust, sometimes they won’t and you’ll have to deal with that. But you can’t starve yourself like this because you won’t let them try.”
"What if I take too much?"
"Then they talk to you, like you should talk to them."
“When did you get so wise,” Steve snorts, his voice is tight but he makes the effort, tries to lighten the mood. Deflects, like he always does.
Eddie lets him, a little, knows Steve has to. But he’s still serious when he answers.
“Wayne is like a never-ending well of insight and digging around in everything, never lets me get away with shit.”
The opposite of Steve’s parents who were the first to take from him and never give, never look into his eyes and tell him to eat.
“He’s a good guy,” Steve tells Eddie instead of weighing him down more than he already has. Instead of acknowledging and relieving the hunger pang that strikes him at the thought. Even now, here, he doesn’t know how.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “I’m here to relay his wisdom, like playing telephone with whatever stuff he teaches me. The things your parents took away from you.”
Eddie still knows, of course, he does. He always knows.
“And what do you get?” Steve has to ask.
“I get you. I get everything.”
Steve smiles, turns around to kiss Eddie. He doesn’t feel empty when Eddie kisses him back, hungry. When he takes and devours.
#i didn't think i was gonna be able to do steddie week becuase it crept up on me and i haven't kept up#and i wasn't gonna post this but like i wrote this in like 40 minutes in a haze and then went on tumblr and saw one of the#prompts for day 1 was hunger and i had literally just written this thing where i used hunger as a metaphor so i went back and reread it#and did some edits and now im posting it#which well i usually stick to humor in my writing so this is always scary but here we are#this is so different from what i usually post but this is also representative of like 70% of my notes app i just dont share#this kind of writing but fuck it i guess#my writing#dels steddie thoughts#steddieweek2023#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#stranger things#steddie fic#steddie week
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i’m so used to how you draw zelda that whenever i see someone else draw her it’s literally like. skinny person jumpscare.
literally being a fat zelda truther is so hard bc why do people insist on drawing the girl like she's never had a meal in her life. put some meat on her bones please god she is starving
#yeah botw zelda fanart is always like. woe. skinny girl be upon ye#and people on instagram get SOOOO pissed about the way i draw her its so funny. the comments are always so formulaic#like its always 'uhmmm im skinny and ur taking away MY representation my body type is beautiful too!!'#or 'um i just dont think you should be promoting an unhealthy body type' SHUT THE FUCK UP. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD#OR if its a man theyll be like 'um you made her look fat :/' like its an insult. like yeah babe that was on purpose. lmfao#and its not like i dont notice that people ONLY EVER get pissed about how i stylize ZELDA'S body. because i change link's body type too.#but i make HIM noticably SKINNIER. like gee i wonder why we have a problem with one of these but not the other one guys. lmao#anyway. im glad tumblr has so many fat zelda appreciators because things are fucking bleak on instagram lmao#and i do also occasionally get jumpscared by skinny zelda. like i KNOW she looks like that but also She Would Not Fucking Look Like That#asks
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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gushing etc
#i wanna say im always incredibly touched whenever people like and interact with my fic at all#but honestly the thing that's got me the hardest is that after i posted my death note your name au#and then made that extra tumblr post where i just rambled about it for a bit#that post ended up getting more interaction than even the fic post#which absolutely shocked me because i wrote that post like#for myself or for the i thought maybe 2 or 3 people who might be interested in reading it#i really thought it would get like 1 interaction.#it's absolutely crazy to me that anyone let alone that many people were interested enough not only in reading the fic#but in reading what i had to say about it. like idk how to express this without just turning into a fruit gusher#but it really is just fucking humbling#not to fucking whinge but im quite used to being talked over and interrupted in my real life#so thank you very much for caring what i have to say.#it is hard to express what that means.#rookposting#man shut up @ myself
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.
#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
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Lady Ysabella Theer
Based on the portrait of Bianca Maria Sforza, by Giovanni Ambrogio de Predis
#the golden rose#ysabella#my art#fanart#I've wanted to do this one for a while#Ysabella's profile is really wel suited to early renaissance betrothal portraits that are always in profile#not that Ysabella is betrothed as far as I know#but I maintain that based on the technology the golden rose has to be early renaissance at the earliest#and i will continue to use the fashions of the 1400s as my inspo#please tell me tumblr fucked up the image quality as much as it currently appears#the whole point of this one was to try to enjoy doing lots of detail work#it mostly didn't work#i found doing all those pearls absolutely painful#but i like how it turned out so tumblr better not have ruined it#ramble ramble#complain complain#etc etc#also don't ask what the deal is with the ... artichoke? towers? on her dress?#idk what that's about its just what's on the dress in the original painting
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Guess what I watched again recently…
This is super old from when I was just redrawing a screenshots but still… I miss her…
#I think about her too often you guys#art#digital art#digital drawing#artists on tumblr#fanart#procreate#marya zaleska#dracula’s daughter#gloria holden#my art#mya draws sometimes#I’m just always absolutely in love with her- even if she pisses me off and is a little stupid sometimes in that movie#like why is she the one to bring up vampires to Garth first- he wasn’t suspecting you and you just put that idea in his head girl😭😭#also the ending… oh boy the ending… I hate what they did to my girl#(also fuck sandor we hate sandor in this house he’s a hater)#sorry mya rant over
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the house md fandom would be fixed by more femlash
#rant below#house md#house md fandom#i gotta figure out my ao3 acciunt before i start writing again but i will be attempting to provide#i seem to have this growing problem with fandoms with the lack of femlash and in general being male-centered#and it makes sense in show like supernatural with very few female characters to ship and that fandom has a lot of issues#but with house md the femslash is severely lacking for the female characters in it#my fandom history is like toh thg she-ra fucking fnaf so there wasn’t a problem there but when i joined to the house fandom its much m#more male focused and i feel like. weird for not being crazy for wilson and like yeah i enjoy hilson but sometimes i feel like im amping up#my interest for notes bc notes give me crazy dopamine and then it stopped being fun. and then i stopped making posts like that and got less#notes and on tumblr in the corners im on its just. male character hot mlm ship mlm ship like wheres the women!!#im not resigning from house md fandom but im gonna focus on fandoms n ships that are fun for me because i prefer femslash id rather go ins#insane about lesbians and women and yeah ill still enjoy mslash and hilson etc but i have been observing a pattern in this fandom abou#about issues that are much too big for us to fix and probably wont be fixed ever#misogyny and male-centricity in general is always gonna be a thing. but as a woman liker im gonna reset my priorities#but ill still like hilson!!! im just also gonna like camcuddy (do they have a ship name?) and camteen and amberteen or whatever the fuck#also retracting more from dps because there’s really only chris and ginny and also i have my personal gripes with that fandom#still ❤️ you dps mutuals#sorry#fuck sorry#fandom problems#fandom rant#asclexeposting
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i feel like almost everything in utena has sort of already been extensively discussed in the last two (almost three) decades of utena's existence (not that there aren't new interpretations to be made, there always are) besides black rose arc (mikage+mamiya+tokiko). which is why they're so much fun to think about. i think the need to read between the lines makes it unfortunately easy to misunderstand or look past obvious stuff if you don't pay attention, but to me it's always been really obvious that mikage's arc is a literal representation of the erasure of queerness in ohtori (society?) by akio/everything he represents. and that's so fucking tragic! nemuro was never able to find a name for his desires. he lived and died as a puppet in the shadows.
#rgu#i think sadly that trigger warning list that people always passed around kind of stunted discussion bc of the assumptions it made#like. i think its okay to say that mikage/nemuro was always in love with mamiya and not tokiko#not that its impossible to interpret him as bisexual (similar to how people see utena as bisexual)#but his love for mamiya is what changed his life (same for utena/her meeting anthy)#one scene i never see people bring up is how#at one point mikage says that attaining eternity wouldn't even make 'her' happy#and then akio questions '''her'' you say?'#the only reason mikage thinks attaining eternity wouldnt even make 'her' i.e 'tokiko' happy is because he just had a conversation#with mamiya where he admitted the whole endeavor was making him unhappy#if anything it would have made tokiko happy to attain eternity and forever preserve her brother like a dead flower#which is what akio does with anthy! so fucked!#ALSO another thing#is that mikage sees utena as tokiko returned#just like how utena meets 'dios' - returned as akio#he claims he will finally beat tokiko - in this place (the dueling arena) - which is kind of foreshadowing utena fighting akio?????#anthy!mamiya says to mikage in the black rose musical:#“You can’t win against her. You will eternally lose to my sister who dwells in your memories.”#or “You will never beat my sister; who dwells in your memories.” in the nozomient translation#which makes so much sense because anthy couldn't believe utena could win against akio either#god i could literally keep going#by read between the lines i mean like how akio actively tries to lie to the audience by saying things like#'mamiya was created for you out of your lingering attachment to tokiko'#of course nemuro/mikage being gay isn't all there is to him bc like always everything in utena has 1000 layers#really love the general theme of becoming static and unchanged forever bc of our attachment to nostalgia/memories/eternity#(re: can't grow up)#tho in mikages case he is literally just a ghost summoned by akio. which the utena sega saturn vn confirms#also definitely people talk about black rose arc (i.e me right now) but i feel like the majority of the fandom kind of side steps it#on tumblr specifically at least?? im not on the fansite forums or discord#rgu meta
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