#tumblr falsely flagging something again who is shocked..

[gaydexvocaloid]

Look at him go

i wish i could see what this is but it’s just not loading at all bc it says it’s inappropriate ? BQHGDH i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t send me smth like that tho so i’m left here wondering what tf is this LOL

[queerlennon]

Lesley-Ann Jones Is Untrustworthy

So I’ve seen some people in the fandom reading and citing Lesley-Ann Jones’ biography The Search For John Lennon recently and to be honest it’s concerning to me. Lesley Ann Jones has proved in the past to be an extremely untrustworthy source for info about the people she writes about. I understand that it’s exciting to have a book about John that’s not written by the typical “Lennon biographer” type (aka an ageing straight man) and for said book to also promise to shed light and focus on his bisexuality but, if we’re going to analyse John respectfully and accurately, it’s important to identify sources that are biased and untrustworthy, even if they’re technically within our favour. Especially when it relates to his queerness. And seeing as LAJ doesn’t have the best record when it comes to writing about rockstars’ sexualities in a respectful manner, it’s best to treat her words with caution.

Info about exactly how she’s a bad source is under the cut

Firstly, it's key to talk about LAJ's journalistic background when discussing what sort of writer she is: she's worked for papers such as The Sun, The Daily Mail, and The Mail On Sunday. Essentially, the bulk of her work has been for tabloids and traditionally the writing style for those kinds of publications place an emphasis on sensationalism and gossip. Now obviously that doesn’t discredit her work immediately, authors are usually able to write in more than one style so it doesn’t necessarily mean the tabloid style is going to carry over to her biographies; but it’s good to keep in mind when discussing and analysing the legitimacy of the narratives she creates and the stories she recounts in her work. 

LAJ has received criticism in the past, particularly from the queen fandom of often overexaggerating, or just straight presenting false information in her bios about Freddie Mercury. She is the champion of the claim that Freddie was bisexual and not gay. Her evidence for this is over-exaggerating and (seemingly intentionally) misinterpreting the nature of the relationship between Freddie and his friend, Barbara Valentin. LAJ claimed that the two had a relationship and even lived together:

“Barbara was very open with me about the sexual relationship she had with Freddie.”

(x)

(x)

However, no-one in Freddie’s life has ever corroborated that Freddie and Barbara were anything but friends. As for the claim they lived together, according to Peter Freestone, an extremely close friend of Freddie’s:

In the event, Freddie never actually lived there although Barbara fulfilled a huge role in Freddie’s life at that time... Freddie became very disillusioned when with more and more frequency articles were appearing in the German press’s gossip columns... about the relationship between him and Barbara... After one article claiming to have knowledge of him and Barbara getting married, Freddie... concluded that it could only be Barbara who was providing the information.

(x)

This exaggeration of their relationship and the insistence LAJ has on presenting Freddie as bi because of it has attracted criticism from queen fans for obvious reasons. For one, it’s borderline homophobic to essentially lie about a gay man having a relationship with a woman while downplaying his relationships with men. No, she’s not portraying him as a straight man, however it’s still erasure of the specific struggles Freddie would’ve faced being a gay man in his time, therefore those who want to analyse him would be missing some of the picture when trying to understand him and his life

LAJ’s research methods are also... questionable. This is a post from Crystal Taylor (one of Roger Taylor’s roadies) about her methods for her David Bowie bio which, if to be believed is particularly concerning.

(x)

LAJ is also known to greatly exaggerate her own relationships with her subjects. She often claims to have been friends with the people she writes bios about (coincidently the people she does this with are dead.) Back in the day she would meet with artists while on tour so the idea is convincing enough. However besides her word there’s nothing to suggest that she had close friendships with Freddie or Bowie, two people she claimed to be good friends with. There’s also this comment from Brian May which actually goes against the idea that she was close with Freddie:

(x)

So with all of this in mind, let’s look at the quote from The Search For John Lennon that’s been circulating around Beatles tumblr:

That Bowie worshipped Lennon is no secret. He'd banged on about it often enough. The ex-Beatle had gone to his hedonism. They'd met in Los Angeles, during John's Lost Weekend. I lunched from time to time with David in New York while working there as a music journalist, before he married Iman. He lent me his house in Mustique, to write the first draft of my first biography on Freddie Mercury.

The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko. They genderbender-ed about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his. What larks.

They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends'.

I’m suspicious of this story for several reasons but first I want to make it clear that none of them have to do with John having sex with men or being bisexual. I’m a very firm believer of John’s bisexuality (my username is literally queerlennon lmao) but once again I think it’s good to examine the legitimacy of sources, even when they favour our position.

Firstly, LAJ’s source for this story is the claim that David told her, which considering I can’t find any info about them being friends besides her word, combined with the fact that she’s lied about having close relationships in the past raises a lot of flags.

But even if we assume LAJ isn’t lying and did know Bowie, the quote is still suspect, particularly the line “John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko.” According to May in her book Loving John, her and John had only one break from their relationship (the phrase “yet another break” implies multiple) that lasted a week, and for the entirety of that week, John was with Yoko. (x)

Finally, the language LAJ uses to describe John and David’s sexualities not only puts me on edge but very much makes me question her intention. Phrases like “the genderbender-ed about,” “indulged his ‘inner fag,’” and “ambisextrous,” all come across to me as fetishisation. Bisexuality is already very highly fetishised and sexualised and LAJ is most definitely not concerned with deviating from that representation. That phrasing combined with the way she also discusses Freddie’s sexuality, where she’s alleged highly sexualised claims about him having threesomes:

And quite often that involved other people as well. Other men, other women. There would be a number of them in the bedroom at any given time. In fact they were raided by the police once and the police stormed in and they found more people than they were expecting to find in the bed that morning.

(x)

— leads me to believe that LAJ is an author less concerned with exploring John’s sexuality as apart of his life, something that made him who he was, and more concerned with including details about “bisexual threesomes” as shock value, as a sensational point she can use to to promote her book in press tours and interviews. Like a tabloid writer. And this sort disrespect representation of John’s queerness, imo isn’t that much better than the biographers who dismiss or underplay it. I totally understand that for a lot of us, finding out new info about John’s queer identity is exciting, especially for those of us who are queer and identify with a lot with John for that reason, myself included. But we shouldn’t be giving credence and legitimacy to someone who firstly, isn’t trustworthy and secondly who’s reason for talking about it is gross and exploitative at best and biphobic at worst.

tl;dr, LAJ is an incredibly untrustworthy source of info and in her own over exaggerations, treats discussions of queerness in an extremely problematic and exploitive way so please take anything you read from her with a massive grain of salt.

[onychaos]

Observing Tumblr bugs

So I did some more work digging and observing around on tumblr wondering why posts are missing in on dashboard search tags, since you know? You have the power to search for terms in a post or tags on the dashboard. I also noticed that some posts don’t show up at all..

UPDATE 2/13/2020: Gonna update this post. As a warning, retweets of the post don’t have updated info

So, for WordPress when post don’t show up, you would change the date the post was made (The current time and date) and it would be added back to WordPress search where everyone can see it.

With WordPress, It’s a very easy fix to deal with. Not really a problem when you think about it.

Now with Tumblr, Dear lord. I can kinda see why Tumblr is seen as a hellsite.. Mainly for the issue, the site breaking search engine. It’s a mess..

So, for tumblr, it’s very different. Things I noticed.

A notice: Should go without saying but if your blog and posts are adult themed and not meant for anyone but adults, your posts will never show up. You can show a like of things but porn is a no go here.

1. There are some tags on Tumblr that will show your post for 10 mins+ before removing the post from the tags recent tab. If your post is popular (I.E. 3 notes or more) It will still show up there.

The tags I know where this happens is the tags “Twitter”, “WordPress” Let me know if you know of any other tags that act like this.

1.2 There are times when your post has 5 main tags but they won’t or don’t show up in search or tags. Retagging works in some cases but most of the time, it does not work.

2. Sometimes when you have 5 tags you want your post to be found in dashboard search, they just don’t show up. Sometimes if they showup, they show up on a new post (i.e. Re-upload) with the same tags will fix the problem.

2.1 Please remember this, as it may be another reason. If you have links in your post that are blacklisted, remove them. I can not say if having blacklisted links after the URL ban dropped may affect your post in the future or not.

Tags make it easier for readers to find posts about a specific topic on your blog. For instance, you could tag your landscape photographs with #landscape or posts about your butler with #butler. Tagging your posts is as easy as you’d expect. When you create a post, enter the tags in the field at the bottom of the post form.

Tips:

You don't need to put a tag in quotes or start with a hash symbol (#).

Hit enter to separate each tag.

Only the first 20 tags on a post will show up in searches. After that, you’re just tagging for show.

Tags on Tumblr can have spaces in them. They are the most legible tags on the internet. Hooray! - Tagging your posts

3 It also seems the URL ban + being able to search posts for terms in the post or tags has had a weird effect on posts. Reblogs don’t count, as they only show up on your blog and not searchable

I was looking in a part of tumblr called “tags not working” and I’m not the only one with this issue. Some post seems to suggest the election day and/or tumblr tag system is broken (No shock about it being broken)

Search for multiple tags or terms

To search for multiple tags or terms, all you have to do is use the right syntax. For example:

picnic lunch - returns posts with the terms “picnic” and “lunch” anywhere (e.g., #picnic basket, or #lunch break, or a post using the word picnic).

#picnic lunch - returns posts with the #picnic lunch tag.

#picnic #lunch - returns posts with both #picnic AND #lunch tags.

There is a 4th option that a user or bot may have reported your post for spam or  mass Automation by a user/bot. (If you post too much) If you use tags that someone thinks is not fitting for a post of yours or if you used any import tools to upload posts from one site to Tumblr. You may fall under this rule..

What I can assume is that Tumblr system for keeping spam like post out of search + the URL ban + being able to search posts by terms / any tags has hit a great number of posts made by users..

If that is the case, you have to re-upload the post to see in search or find it by terms.

I will talk about this later..

And there is a 5th option which I can’t prove to be true or false.. I have heard the porn bots that like or retweet your posts is another reason to why your posts may not show up in search / tags but can not prove this but something to keep in mind..

If you have a secondary blog account on your main that posts or reblogs adult things, be careful, I can’t say how much this may or may not affect you since there no way to test this but keep that in mind

I don’t know if adult blogs that like / reblog your posts will affect you or not.

There is one last option.. And this is a very extreme case.. but..

If your posts aren't appearing on Tumblr-wide tag pages, it might be because your blog is pretty new and we need to make sure you’re not a robot or a spammer.

Make sure you’ve verified your account via the email we sent when you joined Tumblr. Once you’ve used your account for a while (and done normal, human things with it like follow other blogs and like or reblog posts), your posts will start appearing on tag pages.

If you are a robot or a spammer, you should visit our article about account deletion.

On the help center page for Troubleshooting tags. The post I quoted worries me. There could be a chance your account is marked as a robot or a spammer. If, at that point happens.

You have 2 options. 1. Contact Tumblr support and tell them your problems and pray to god that they do something to help out, and hope they don’t send a automatic response which can amount to “we will try to do something but won’t“

2. Backup your blog, make a new account and re-post everything there by hand, and let your followers know of the new account. Your current account may be marked as a spammer account or a robot.

So… How do you get your post to show back up on Tumblr Dashboard search with the power to search for terms and any tag on your post, and tags that are after the 5th tag on posts?

ANSWER: Re-upload the post or posts that is not showing up in tags or is no longer searchable on Tumblr Dashboard. It’s the only current fix to the problem for why posts are no longer showing up in tags / searched by terms

Update:  

treygocray said: onychaos HEY! I got it to work. Delete all your tags on the photo and re-tag it. Mine worked so I thought I’d share! :D

This does work but if the post didn’t have a banned link. This is worth a shot but be warned that your post may fall under the 5 tag or less rule.

end update

For users who only reblog or like, this will not affect you. But those who don’t reblog and make posts, this affects us greatly. When our posts can’t be seen by other users besides followers.. I don’t man, not feeling it since most followers may / are no longer active.

Since the dashboard search engine is awful and tumblr @staff don’t seem to want to fix this issue or know how to fix the issue. This is the only way from what I tested.

If you have this issue but don’t want to re-upload posts to fix it. You have to go by the 5 tags can be searched, and you can’t term and your posts may or may not show up in tags. I could be wrong but I know there are people who don’t want to use a wrong around for this bug if you got more then 50 posts.

You can test to see if your posts are searchable by making an empty tag that has never been used, ever. Then go to mass post editor and add the empty tag as the 6th tag to 30 or 20 posts at a time and search the said tag.  If your posts that you tagged with the empty tag show up in that tag under the “most recent” search and not tagged.

A empty tag (Your username) seems to be able to hold 40 or 20 of your posts at a time. That’s why it is best to do 20 or 10 to test them. You may need to wait a bit as there is delay for posts to show up. Or you can add the empty tag to 3 of your post as the 6th tag or anything after the 5th tag works.

However, if the tag being used is brand new or barely used it can affect some post from what I tested.

Brand new tags (Never used aka no posts in the tag) Can hold 40 of your posts.. Sometimes it can hold more?

non-empty tags (Tags that get used once in a while) Can hold 3 posts and there is a post delay

Very active tags can hold 3 post but if you post a lot, your older posts in a tag will be hidden after a fourth post is made but will show back up after a week or so. Sometimes Tumblr may break and the post might not show back up if hidden and you probably have to reupload it or re-tag?

If you see the post in most recent or popular search, your posts can be found by terms / any tag but this is me just observing and testing about 20 posts

Now should say this. New tags that never been used can hold 40 of your posts sometimes more? But this is if you are trying to search by term and not tags

This means users can search for your posts by tags and tags after the 5th tag as well or terms in your posts on tumblr dashboard. (That is good, very good)

Because I tried to bring my posts from WordPress to Tumblr via a defunct import tool named wp2tumblr and as a result of my post falling under these  rules of spam here what I took note of.

Posts that don't show up or can not be seen working well in tags or at all and not coming up in the search terms. Out of 147 posts.  only 113* of my posts do not show up right in tags or search nor can they be searched by terms or tags (Some tags do not show these post after 2 weeks. You have to wait a week to see them but nothing happens..)

So only 34+ posts can be searched by tag / terms / seen in tags or searched by terms

113 posts have bugged / shadow flagged for spam / search from the effects of using wp2tumblr to import my wordpress posts to tumblr..

Only way to fix this is by re-uploading the post to allow it to be found in tumblr tags and search terms.

Again, if you don’t see your post show up in search or tags, you will need to re-upload the posts in question.

And for me, I hate having to re-upload posts to have them be seen again but I will have to do it if I want my posts to be seen. Even if that means re-uploading my rants, vents, talking about users, and other things. So you will be seeing me upload some posts that may be 2017 or 2018 related.

Your followers may or may not be annoyed with you as a heads up if you re-upload posts to fix this issue.

And even if you do this, there is no 100 % plan yet or there is a chance someone may see you re-upload a post as spam.. Or the post may not show up later

But I thought I share what I have been observing how things been working on tumblr. If anyone has a better way of dealing with this, let me know.

Because when you make a new post, it is seen in tags / search. And it is searchable be terms or tags after the 5th tag

Again, if your post is not showing up in tags, re-upload the post in question and it will be back in search to be seen by everyone

However, another issue came to me. If you reupload the post it can be found in search and by terms.. now however If you edit/delete the tags when having more then 5 tags on the post and go down to 5 or less. 

Your post may fall under the 5 tags or less rule and may also lose the right to search for that post by terms but something to look out for.

Update: It seems some of my new posts are not searchable by terms anymore.

I contacted Tumblr Support but got a fast reply but it was a copy and paste. I don’t know what Tumblr Staff is doing but it’s anything but helpful.

Here a list of my posts that got hit or don’t show up.. I added clear to the post name meaning it works / shows up. I need to look at all of them. I have since deleted some old posts so this list is outdated and this is not all of the posts yet..

Some post below don’t have the right name but keep that in mind

Nothing important below. :3

my plans for 2017 - clear 12:20 AM 12/11/2019

a new discord server archive it - 11:16 PM 12/10/2019

Twitch channel updates - archive it 11:16 PM 12/10/2019

Sonikchan update archive it - 8:08 PM 12/10/2019

Updates for Sonikmage twitch archive it - 8:08 PM 12/10/2019

Sonik muffins - clear 7:34 PM 12/10/2019

Future Update archive - 4:13 AM 12/11/2019

Shutting down Sonikmage twitter archive - 12:21 AM 12/11/2019

My little guide to streaming archive - 4:13 AM 12/11/2019

New twitch streams archive - 4:14 AM 12/11/2019

Twitch rant

mini twitch rant

one trick pony archive - 4:14 AM 12/11/2019

Sonic adventure SX 2018 clear - 12:02 AM 12/11/2019

how I been feeling

game progress

sonic speed R 2018

update log 6

The Tumblr purge

game dev update 2

game overhaul

kyle and lucy

Tumblr purge 2

Done with Pangya

Tumblr purge AM

Last speedrun to do

Twitch and youtube let's play

srb2 teleport

Sonic beta clear - 3:35 PM 12/11/2019

twitter rant

facebook update

srb2 update

Speedruns I plan to do clear - 10:03 AM 12/15/2019

Second Discord channel update

how to use twitter

Thoughts on SXSW

Thoughts on Sonic Speed 2017

What's next for me?

Thoughts on Pangya celebrity

Thoughts on Pangya celebrity big ann clear - 8:58 PM 12/17/2019

Thoughts on speedrunners

Why do you stream?

New personal discord channel update 3

Sonic adventure 2 livestream

New thoughts on Pangya c

A side project

Mini server update +

sonik rp story clear - 10:05 AM 12/15/2019

another twitch rant

birthday livestream

my thoughts on spinball

The future for sonic 1 hell

Zelda shine hunting

Sonic Forces custom character

Revio shutting down

new personal discord server clear - 9:32 AM 12/15/2019

SRB2 forfeit rules clear - 9:30 AM 12/15/2019

my forum

moving out update

duel link replays

Mario Maker 2 experience

My Tumblr experience

Gave Pangya debug one last shot

Frozen Snowman Land - clear 9:30 AM 12/15/2019

Images of my fan game

venting about video games

changes and moving forward

sadx question

Playing duel links on twitch

Hyper's quest 2

video of srb2 kart

srb2kart rainbow road

mini update about my posts clear - 9:31 AM 12/15/2019

levels i forgot

srb2kart darkvile garden

tumblr theme bugs clear - 9:32 AM 12/15/2019

SRB2Kart final fall

Beaten nep

Zelda BOTW master mode stream

My review sonic spinball

streams this weekend

Why I dislike twitch fight streams

Thanks for watching

A long vent / rant

A message to a friend

Cyberscore review

What I done in 2 months

Youtube planned let's plays

My goals for 2018

Final post on speedrunning

Clicker heroes 2 thoughts

final Pangya c post

Chaos realm race nights

My CyberScore Ideas

New Start

Sonic Gather Battle

Pantufa the cat dx review

SRB2 review

Dungeon Souls revisit

Sonic R review

update log

my new server updates

Sonic World R8 review

Pangya C tea time

Sonic and Shantae 2017 demo

Sonic ages 2017

Update on Sonic hell

Sonic Forces review clear - 3:51 AM 12/12/2019

Battle for the internet act 3

game mode ideas

New changes for this year arc - 2:57 AM 12/12/2019

Sonic Mania delay archive second account -

rant: twitter archive

2 rants for the price of one

Twitch bits

Sonic Mania stream today archive - 4:44 PM 12/11/2019

SRB2 testing clear - 9:29 AM 12/15/2019

Sonic Grand Adventure clear - 10:03 AM 12/15/2019

[anonymuseing]

Do Your Research, Karen

Reading a chain email that is signed off as "Dr. Capellini, Ph.D" or whatever is not 'doing [your] research', Karen. Anyone can type 'Dr.' in front of their name followed by the PhD letters or whatever. I could sign off on this post as 'Dr. Tumblr' but that doesn't mean I am an actual doctor or that I have a PhD or whatever.

Watching the news is not 'doing [your] research', Karen. Watching the news is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to doing your due diligence.

If you want to do your research, start by checking out "Dr. Capellini"--where did they get their Ph.D? Not just where they say they got it ('cuz lying on the internet is easy), but go to the post-secondary institution that they're citing and check if their name is anywhere on the alumni list. Ask around, see if there's proof from the institution that a "Dr. Capellini" got their degree there. Even better--what was their degree in? If their degree was in Computer Science and the chain email is talking about Covid-19 then that should be a red flag. Computer Science deals with viruses--of the technological kind. Their area of expertise has very little to do with Covid-19 and human health. Turning it off and then back on again is a good strategy for computers--but going to sleep and waking up again is not going to save you from Covid-19 (though, getting more rest and reducing your stress levels and panic over everything is probably good for your health overall). Use your common-sense, Karen. You wouldn't go to a Doctor for a trojan virus on your computer (from reading up on too much click-bait, potentially)--don't go to a self-proclaimed Computer Scientist for your health concerns.

Where has "Dr. Capellini" published their work? Most Ph.D people have their work published in academic journals. You are trying to look into whether or not you can trust this "Dr. Capellini"--so see what research they have done, where it's been published, and look into whether or not the journals their work has been published in are proper sources. A twitter post is not a scholarly source--anyone can make crap up and post on twitter. If "Dr. Capellini's" only 'published work' is through twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or emails or whatever, then they have 0 credentials and I'd be more inclined to say they're a liar or a scammer, and most definitely a troll than I would be so inclined to call them "Doctor" unironically.

'Research' means fact-checking. It doesn't just mean "look at all the institutions (magazines, internet followers, etc.) that have this plastered on them". Fact-checking means taking what someone says and doing your best to find out whether or not it's likely to be true. Having a few thousand subscribers doesn't mean a few thousand people stand by the statement as true--and even if they do, it's possible for a few thousand random internet people (and bots/dummy accounts) to be tricked into believing a lie. Look into the institutions that are standing behind the statement or "Dr. Capellini"--do they have a reputation for truth-telling? Do they have a history of sensationalism and retracted/redacted statements and publications? It's possible for a majority of humanity to believe in something not very correct (via not having the knowledge, or willfully rejecting proof to the contrary)--look up geocentrism and flat-earth-theory if you want examples (and to brush up on your 'researching', Karen).

Good High Schools will be teaching this, and it's basically a requirement in post-secondary--learning what 'research' entails. Proper research means looking into as many different viewpoints on a topic as possible and figuring out as best you can what can be believed. Doing research even at the undergrad level means including a "limitations" section in your paper where you mention some theories/articles/opinions/findings or whatever that are contrary to what you've set out to prove or to persuade people on. Good research is usually written in a "If A and B are true, then C. BUT...(and here's the limitations)...C is dependent on whether A or B are true. If A or B or both are false, then my entire paper/argument goes out the window. And there are some theories that suggest A or B are false...BUT I decided to write with the belief that A and B are true because...[good, solid, reasons--even 'there was more evidence/papers written proving A and B as true', or even just 'in the ideal scenario that I wish to address, A and B are true--so for the purposes of my paper I, as the researcher, am choosing to write with the belief that A and B are true]". A scholarly, persuasive piece worth it's salt is usually written in a passive tone--even if the research knows their theory is 100% correct, they'll probably still write passively and include a "but there are somet that believe the contrary". Good research isn't written in a tone that pisses people off--save that angry ALL CAPS soap-boxing for Twitter. If you want people to listen to what you have to say without rolling their eyes and closing their ears/minds to your message, speak politely and with respect. People that have done their research do not need to rely on ALL CAPS for shock value or to get people to listen to them.

Karen if what you do is 'research' then post-secondary education is even more of a monumental waste of time, energy, resources, funds, blood, sweat, tears, and heartbreak than it already feels like to those that have gone through it. Yes, it's a human social construction. Yes, there are people that graduate and regret everything they put into it. If 'doing research' was as simple as reading a chain email or clicking on every sensational headline to come across our dashboard and yelling our opinion on the truth at anyone and everyone--refusing to listen to beliefs/theories/opinions to the contrary...then why are people paying many thousands of dollars for a post-secondary education? Why do you insist that your children graduate from post-secondary education and yet you reject their idea that 'research' is so much more than scrolling through social media and believing every 'Doctor' that comes across your screen? Clearly, you're willing to buy into the idea that "Dr." and "PhD" mean something--even if you clearly don't know what those prefixes and suffixes mean. Clearly those two things have some sort of authority to you. Your adult-child may not be a Doctor and may not have a PhD...but neither do you, Karen. Believing every self-stylized 'Dr.' isn't doing your research and arguing with your Bachelor's Degree child on this matter is proving that you're willing to believe an anonymous internet troll over your own child. It means you're writing off all of the time and money (probably some of your money) and effort that your child went through to get their education. It means that the word (coughLIESough) of internet strangers means more to you than the words of your own child, whom you know and have watched grow up. And, from the perspective of anybody who knows how to do proper research, it means you are more than just a part of the 'uneducated masses'--it means that you are part of the problem. Misinformation is just as dangerous as Covid-19. People that believe the whole "inject yourself with bleach to kill the virus" thing that started, or people that believe that every Asian is a carrier of Covid-19--they are just as dangerous as Covid-19. People have been hurt and died because of the proliferation of misinformation. Covid-19 has many unknowns and it's scary and does result in the death of a heck of a lot of people--but it is survivable. Stupidity, prejudice, and the rejection of truth and facts probably hurts and kills almost as many people, proportionally, as the virus itself. Humanity may eventually find a cure for Covid-19; but there's no cure for stupidity.

[maxineswritingcenter]

Take it on the Run -Dean Winchester x Reader part 6 finale

Read part 5 here!

Summary: After a month long, whirl-wind romance with the new guy in town (Dean), he ghosts, as if he never existed. You are devastated, eating plenty of ice cream, your friend decides to take you out for drinks and karaoke. Maybe something happens who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A/N: this is my second time writing this because Tumblr ate the first one so here we go!

Warnings: Fighting, you're still kidnapped

-------------------------------------------------

(Y/N)-

"He's not coming back..." I whispered. The situation I was in couldn't be far from the worse possible. In the clutches of a mad man or thing and the only person that could save me was gone, never to be seen again.

"Oh sweetheart," I cringed away at the voice. Hearing Dean's voice coming out of this monster did nothing but pull me into a false sense of security.

"You obviously don't know the Winchesters. Those psychos have a hero complex. They're not going to leave the damsel in distress. Besides, through my psychic connection I have with your boyfriend I can tell he's driving plenty over the speed limit and will be here any time now." He said, dropping the covering he had over himself.

Anger bubbled in my chest. If I was going to die here, then so be it. But not Dean, not Sam.

"If you kill me, there's no way they'll let you live." I spat.

He only chuckled, "Oh don't worry. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Or should I say your sleeve." He lifted his hands to his face and I turned away. I would puke whatever bile I had left in my stomach before I would watch that thing take on a a new body. After the wet flop landed on the floor I looked up and saw... Myself. I watched myself smirk and walk over to a dufflebag in the corner, pulling out some of my clothes.

"After you're dead and I get rid of those Winchesters I'm going to update your closet. It looks like a step dad trying to relive his glory days died in there." My eyes began to get sore. Whatever tears that would have left my eyes weren't coming, I was way too dehydrated. My throat ached to scream and cry. But I couldn't. I was too weak. I was going to die here, dirty and weak and alone and no one would know. That thing was going to take over my life and who knows how far it would go. Would he go after (Y/F/N) next?

My figure bent down in front of me, "Don't worry. It'll all be over soon." He grabbed a discarded piece of metal from the floor and looked over it before slamming it down onto my temple.

-

Dean-

We went back to the sewers, knowing that this thing was trying to lure us here and sewers are prime territory for shifters. They connected to the entire city. I looked at the necklace in my hand, thinking of the worse possible scenario was in my head. (Y/N) could already be dead. Left to rot down there while that thing disappeared. Kind of like how I disappeared and let this happen in the first place.

I shoved the necklace in my pocket when I heard the trunk of the Impala close. Sam came up behind me and offered me a large silver knife. I took it, gripping the leather handle. Sam loaded his gun with silver bullets.

"So what's the necklace?" He asked. I rolled my shoulders, continuing to look down into the man hole in the abandoned parking lot.

"It's (Y/N)'s. After a tornado hit town a bunch of people got trapped in their basements. (Y/N) saw this in some debris and picked it up. Then heard some people calling for help. Rescuers found a whole family trapped. If (Y/N) didn't see this, that family would be dead. It gave (Y/N) hope."

"Well, we'll need it." He put a hand on my shoulder, "Listen, if-"

"No 'ifs', Sammy. Only me and that son of a bitch."

"HELP!! ANYBODY! PLEASE!" The distant shouting made us jump into action, quickly descending into the dark hole. We landed. The scentch was foul. The shouting stopped, the only sound was the river of sewage besides us and the echos of water dripping.

I headed forward, Sam close behind. I held my hand up. Footsteps up ahead, someone was in a hurry. The unknown person turned a corner and my heart leapt in my chest.

"Dean!" (Y/N) grinned, running into my arms and squeezing me tight, "you're here, you're really here. You came back for me!" There were small little sobs in-between words.

I held back tight, rubbing (Y/N)'s back, "That's right, sweetheart. I came back for ya. You're safe."

"Wait," Sam's voice broke us apart, "How did you escape?"

(Y/N) smiled sadly, "I waited... I waited until it fell asleep. Then I hit it with a silver pot lying around and it knocked it out. I tied it up and tried to find a way out. But then you found me." A thought came to the back of my mind. (Y/N) wouldn't know about the weakness to silver for shifters.

"Lead the way, sweetheart. We'll gank that bastard." I said and motioned forward. (Y/N) smiled and started back down the tunnel.

"Something's not right." Sam said when (Y/N) was out of earshot. I nodded and motioned behind my back to stay on his toes.

-

(Y/N) brought us to a boiler room just off the main tunnel. Sitting in a chair, tied with rope was a figure matching (Y/N) but very different. This (Y/N) was covered in blood and grime, eyes sunken in and lips chapped. Just one look told me that that was my (Y/N).

(Y/N) stirred in the chair, head lifting up to face us. Eyes widening in shock as she took me in.

"You came..." (Y/N) whispered.

The shifter grabbed the knife from my hand and walked towards (Y/N), "Don't try to trick them! I told them all about you and you're going to get what you deserve!" They raised the knife and was read to strike.

"Wait!" I said, holding out my hand. The shifter stopped and turned towards me, pleading, "Please, Dean. I just want this to be over. I want to make sure (Y/F/N) and Fuzzybunches are alright."

"Fuzzybritches." Sam corrected it.

"That's what I said." It said. I motioned for Sam to start moving towards (Y/N) and walked closer to the shifter.

"I just figured you would want your necklace back. Said you didn't feel safe without it." I reached into my pocket and pulled it out, holding it out. The shifter went to grab it, but as soon as it touched their hand, they pulled it back, hissing in pain.

"What's wrong? Can't handle a silver locket?" I asked smugly.

The shifter, realizing it's plan was ruined, glared, "No. But I can still do this." It turned and brought the knife down hard towards (Y/N)'s chest.

(Y/N)-

The next few moments seemed to go from slow motion to the fastest things I had ever experienced. Sam grabbed the back of the chair I was tied to and pulled me away, the blade of the knife barely missing my chest. He quickly untied my ropes as Dean made a grab for the knife, but was practically thrown like a rag doll by the creature.

It turned back to us, marching towards me. Sam stood in its way and tried to draw his gun, but the shifter kicked him hard in the chest, sending him flying into the wall behind us. Attention back on me, he raised the knife again, then screamed in pain as the metal pipe Dean had grabbed slammed into it's wrist, knocking the knife away.

The creature turned and grabbed the pipe-mid swing, head butting Dean away. I scrambled around, trying to find something anything. My entire body felt like it was about explode from the rate that my heart was pumping. The shifter and Dean were desperately trying to get the knife. I finally found Sam's gun, my hands shaking as I tried to cock it. I turned, seeing that Dean and the creature we on the floor, the tip of the knife was pressed into Dean's chest. Dean was struggling to keep it away from failing.

"This is what you get, Winchester. This is what you deser-" I cut it off by shooting a bullet through its head, knocking it off Dean.

"Shut up." I sighed, exhausted. I dropped the gun and grabbed my ears. The loud blast still ringing in my ears. Dean gasped for air and sat up, quickly grabbing the knife and sticking it in the monster's heart.

Dean scrambled to his feet and walked cautiously to where I stood, his fingers ghosting over my face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice was shaking a little.

"I'm okay, if anyone's wondering." Sam groaned as he stood up, rubbing the back of his head.

"Sam-" Dean began but I cut him off by holding up my hand.

"I'm okay. Dehydrated and hungry? Yes. Sore as hell? Yes. But I'm okay." I said, my throat become more and more sore the more I talked. Sam came up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Let's get you out of here." He said.

Dean had looked away from me, but looked back when I grabbed his hand tightly in mine. Gripping onto his fingers with all the strength I had left.

"Yeah, let's."

-

"So what you're telling me is this." (Y/F/N) said, holding a steaming cup of coffee in her hand, "You got kidnapped. Dean and Sam rescued you, your welcome by the by," I rolled my eyes, carefully holding my coffee mug with my bandaged fingers.

"And now you're going to just drop everything in your life and go on the road with them?" I leaned back on (Y/F/N)'s couch, Fuzzybritches was purring loudly on my lap. 

“Yeah, that’s about right.” I said, taking a sip. I absently touched the stitches on the side of my head, making sure they were partially hidden by hair.

(Y/F/N) shook there head, "I still haven't made my final judgement on Mr. Winchester. I mean, he's a brute and his brother is a moose and you want to live with that?"

"Uh yeah, that's the plan." I said, setting the empty mug on the counter.

"Have you talked to your parents about this?" They asked, leaning forward in their seat.

"Nah... I'll bring it up eventually." (Y/F/N) huffed and picked up a red flag from a cup on their desk and began waving it.

"Did you specifically make that for this conversation?" I chuckled, giving Fuzzy some ear scratches.

"Perhaps." They sighed, "Okay fine! But only because you're doing it anyway. Don't forget to text me so I don't track down your boyfriend again."

I got up, grabbing my duffle bag from the besides the door, "How did you do that anyway?" I asked.

"For me to know and you to find out." They crossed their arms over their chest.

-

After an emotional goodbye, I left (Y/F/N) little apartment and made my way towards the Impala parked in the parking lot. Dean was leaning against the hood, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked up and saw me, grinning. His whole face seemed to light up when he smiled.

"How'd it go?" He asked, taking my bag from me.

"You're still on their shit list but I'm sure you're on a lot of people's shit list." I smirked. He pulled his usual grumpy face that melted away when I pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Chill out, Dean-Bean." I smiled, making my way towards the back seat.

"Hey.." He grabbed my wrist and brought me back to his chest, holding me close. I prayed he couldn't feel my heart beating rapidly.

"You can still turn back. You don't have to do this." He said, but his voice didn't match the look in his eyes.

-

After Dean and Sam salted and burned the body of the shifter, Dean's full and undivided attention was on me. He brought me to the hospital so I could get stitches and fluids from the literal days without it. He was sitting in a chair besides the bed, head in his hands. I was lying back in the hospital bed, bandages on my hands and head, looking and feeling like crap. But the smallest beep made him shoot to his feet, looking me over to make sure I was alright.

"I'm okay, Dean." I whispered, my voice still wasn't what it used to be.

"This is my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone." He said, "You didn't deserve this. All of this happened because of me. I should have been there. You would be safe. Hell you shouldn't have even met me." His voice shook as he spoke, his hands were gripping the rails on the side of the bed. I reached out and took his hand, squeezing it all I could.

"Dean, I love you. And I always will. It was a freak incident. And now that we know what to look for and how to be safe. We're safe with each other. And that's why I'm going with you." I said the last part nonchalantly.

"Wait what?" He asked, scrunching his eyebrows together.

"You heard. I'm going with you." I said, sitting up.

"Sweetheart, that's not-"

"Safe? Yeah well I wasn't safe after you left either. You're going to give me the whole run down on anything that goes bump in the night and you're going to teach me to fight." I said, each word I said make his lips tug up higher and higher.

"This isn't the life for the weary." He said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I grabbed him by his collar, "I'll be the judge of that." I whispered against his lips before he closed the gap between us. He smiled into the kiss, humming happily.

-

"Dean-Bean?" Sam asked from the front, cause Dean to glare.

"Hey, shut up, bitch."

"Jerk." Sam responded. Once Dean tossed what was left of my stuff in the backseat we started down the road, driving farther and farther away from the town I called home. I played with the locket around my neck, holding it in my hands and unlocking the newly fixed clasp. Inside with a teeny tiny picture of Dean and on the other side was Fuzzybritches, the cat that had inadvertently saved my life. Suddenly a soft mewing came from the bag, causing Dean to slam on the breaks. The brothers turned to the back. I slowly opened the bag and saw Fuzzybritches looking at me mildly annoyed.

"We got a stowaway." Sam said, reaching backs and scratching her under her chin which Fuzzy was all about. I reach inside and found a note:

"Fuzzy said she wanted to go with you. She's keeping an eye on those boys of yours. Love (Y/F/N)." I read aloud.

Dean grumbled and started moving again, "Damn thing better not piss on the seats." I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, pressing a hard kiss to his cheek.

"Alright, boys, where we going?" I asked, looking over Sam's shoulder.

"Looks like some activity in North Colorado. Could be interesting." He said, looking over a few news clippings on his tablet. I reached forward, turning up the volume of the stereo, a very familiar song playing.

"Well, what we waiting for?" Dean grinned, pressing the gas harder so we flew down the old country road.

-------------------------------------------------

Yay! We did it! We have reached the end of Take it on the Run! I have a new fic planned that should be in the works soon!

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[owlways-and-forever]

Summary: Lily Evans thought her life would be normal. Well, as normal as it can be for a muggle-born witch in England. But when her boyfriend turns out to be the prince of the wizarding world, and tensions begin to rise among factions of wizarding society, Lily must find her way in situations she never anticipated, and try not to lose sight of her identity. Word Count: 4,239 (41,766) Links: ao3 | FFnet | Tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9

A/N: Welcome back! This chapter went in a completely different direction than I initially thought it would, but it just kind of seemed to want to write itself this way. It's a little emotional and I think I should give you all a head's up that this chapter does deal with sexual assault. If you're not comfortable reading that, I'll include a summary of important points from this chapter in the AN of the next one so you can keep reading without missing anything. With that, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 10

In the weeks since Whitefire Palace had made it's announcement, Lily's situation had improved somewhat. Articles still came out every now and then, but they had less fodder to them than they had before. At most, it was commentary on her outfits, or stories that were so blatantly false they were almost laughable. She was able to put it all aside and continue with her life as usual. James had taken the liberty of having her added to the Come and Go list at the Palace, so they had taken to spending their nights together in James' apartments instead of at Lily's shared home. She had been so traumatized by the article that she found it hard to relax in her own apartment, but they both felt more secure at the Palace.

But work was becoming more intense for both of them, and between that and their Order missions, their time together was quickly becoming limited to catching a few hours of sleep between late nights and early mornings. Often James would crawl into bed long after Lily had gone to sleep, and she would have to rise with the sun. They seemed to keep missing each other, and it was rapidly becoming frustrating for both of them.

"I've got to go away for a little bit," James said, stroking her hair lightly. It was Lily's first day off in weeks, and they were enjoying a little bit of time cuddling together before James had to get ready to attend some stuffy lunch.

"Away? Where?" Lily asked, twisting a little to look at him.

"To Italy, for a diplomatic visit with Sirius," he answered. "And then I think Remus and Peter are going to meet us after to have a bit of a lads' weekend on one of the islands."

"Really?" she pressed, skeptical. She knew all too well the kinds of things Sirius had gotten up to in school, and she could only imagine what he would do with an unsupervised weekend thousands of miles away.

"Don't worry, Lily, you know I'm yours," James soothed, pressing a kiss to the worry lines between her brows. Though they dissipated slightly, her anxieties were still there, twisting into tight knots in her gut.

"It's not really that," she said, frowning. "It's just…" She shook her head and bit back her words, not wanting to start a fight.

"Lily, what?" he encouraged. "You can tell me anything."

"It's just that, well, we haven't had much time together lately, and I just feel a bit…" She struggled to find the right words, and restarted her thoughts. "You don't have any time to spend with me, but you can clear an entire weekend to party with Sirius, Remus, and Peter."

"Lily it's not like that," he insisted, clearly upset by her words.

"No?"

"No," James stated defiantly. He was starting to feel very defensive. "Any why shouldn't I have fun with my friends? You don't have a monopoly over me, Lily."

"That's not what I meant," Lily backtracked, taken aback by his statement.

"You don't get first dibs on my time," he barrelled on, riled up at that point. "My friends aren't just some random people who get me whenever you've cast me off or when you've decided you're too busy. We've been friends for a long time, and they deserve some of my attention too."

"I never said they didn't," Lily replied, her face warming as she felt tears starting to form. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong, and his words should have been making her angry, but she simply couldn't find it in her. She just felt sad. It felt like they were diving off a cliff, the beginning of the end.

"Besides, I'm only nineteen," he continued without any sign that he'd heard her. "I should be allowed to party and have fun still. Just because I'm in a relationship, doesn't mean I've died."

"That's not all you want," Lily hissed, finally finding the anger. "Because if you really just wanted to party, then we could go out in London, or you could've asked me to go with you. I like a party as much as anyone, and you know it would've been fun with me too. But you don't want to party with your girlfriend, because then you wouldn't have girls fawning over you and offering you anything you want and sucking up to you. You want the attention, you want everyone in the world hitting on you, and if I'm there, I'll spoil that, but Sirius will probably be trying to convince you that you should shag some random girl because it's not cheating if it's a different country or because we fought or if you only go so far, or maybe he'll just say that none of it matters because you're royalty and everybody knows that comes with the lifestyle."

"Lily, I would never -" James tried to interrupt, suddenly looking stricken, but Lily was already on the verge of tears and she didn't want him to see her cry this time, not when she couldn't stand the sight of him.

"Whatever, have fun on your trip," she said, with a final huff, striding from the apartment and slamming the door shut behind her.

She almost wished he would come running after her, tell her he wouldn't go, that clearly it bothered her and he cared about that more than some stupid lads' weekend. But he didn't, and it felt like a slap across her face.

o . o . o

James had several reasons for his trip to Italy. He was on a diplomatic mission on behalf of the crown, it was true, but it was all but a secret that he had volunteered to go on the trip instead of his parents. On Corsica, there was a renowned jewelry-maker, who was able to create little galaxies inside his gemstones. The lad's weekend was really just a cover to give him reason to be on the little island, should he be spotted. And it was true that he hadn't spent much time with his friends lately, so he really would enjoy it.

Of course, once Dumbledore had gotten wind of his trip, he'd tacked on another mission of his own. James was tasked with sniffing out possible international recruits and allies. Dumbledore was worried that Voldemort was beginning to extend his influence outside of Great Britain. It was going to add a few extra days onto his trip, he would be away for a little over a week in total.

James hated leaving Lily, especially after the fight they'd had. He wished that he could clear the air with her before he left at the very least, but their schedules just didn't sync up. He looked around wistfully before stepping into the spacious limo, half hoping Lily would show up to say goodbye. But she didn't, so he simply sighed and climbed into the vehicle to prepare for his flight.

The limo was the pride and joy of the Royal Family's fleet. It had started out with the idea of a flying carpet, being outfitted and upgraded over time. Now, it was completely state of the art, with all the most advanced magical enchantments on it. Inside, the limo was as spacious as a private jet, with a stocked kitchenette, a full closet, and even a small bedroom for particularly long (or late) flights. From the outside, it had an array of concealment charms. When driving on the ground, it would appear as any ordinary limo to onlookers, little British flags flying from the front to identify it as a diplomatic envoy. But when flying, the vehicle would take on the guise of an owl, perfect for flying anywhere needed without arousing suspicion. It was a really magnificent little vehicle.

The trip itself was short and uneventful, but the moment they landed on the ground, their schedule was packed. James and Sirius stepped out of the limo to cheers from the gathered onlookers, and were greeted by the Italian Foreign Minister. They did a quick walk about, saying hello to the fans who had waited to see them, before being ushered inside to begin their day of meetings.

Five full days of meetings and engagements at charitable institutions. Touring hospitals and orphanages and schools all around the country. It was dull, especially since James only understood half of what was being said - honestly, it was shocking that they couldn't find better translators - and Sirius was getting restless. At night, they took a few surreptitious meetings on behalf of Dumbledore, but they weren't making as much progress and he had hoped. They spent another two days speaking with prominent members of the wizarding families, and though they were diplomatic in their responses, James wasn't feeling optimistic that it would come to anything. The Italian wizards seemed to think that the situation couldn't possibly be as dire as they were making it sound, and offered little support. The Minister himself, James was sure, was a lost cause, and he barely even bothered with any of his recruitment arguments.

And throughout the whole thing, James kept thinking about Lily. He felt awful about the way they'd parted, and he wanted so desperately to be able to talk to her. He made a mental note to give her something along the lines of his and Sirius' two way mirrors, so that they wouldn't be in this situation again. Although she probably would've smashed it after that fight. He just wanted to be with her again, and apologize for the way this was done. And ideally hear her apologize for snapping at him. Only two more days.

o . o . o

James wished he could say that he'd been careful, that he'd been mindful of Lily's words and her feelings and he'd kept the drinking to a minimum and made sure he didn't do anything that could possibly be misconstrued. He wished he could say even one of those things. But James was an absolute idiot, so he couldn't.

He had known, when Sirius said that he found a party on a private yacht and scored invites for all of them, that it was a bad idea. Yacht parties meant too much fancy alcohol and girls in bikinis and paparazzi taking blurry pictures that made it look like anything was happening - especially things that were most definitely not happening.

He had known, when he saw the girl staring at him from across the boat with eyes like a lioness hunting her prey, that he should be careful. He knew what that look meant, and he knew he should stop drinking so he could stay alert. And yet somehow he still accepted the next drink Sirius thrust at him, and the one after that, and then another still.

Everything became a fog, and the rocking of the boat did nothing to help his balance. He needed to find somewhere to sit down, or lie down, but he couldn't for the life of him think where that might be. And then she was there, standing right in front of him in the doorway, with her amber eyes fixed on him boldly. She was pretty, but her eyes were the wrong color, and so was her hair. She was all wheat-coloured, not shades of Christmas. He needed to find green eyes.

"Dove stai andando?" she asked, a question that James did not even begin to comprehend, but her voice had a buttery quality to it, like silk sheets over smooth skin.

James frowned at her, but she simply smiled, leaning her shoulders back against the frame of the door so that her hips were still angled toward him. She curled her fingers around the waistband of his swim trunks, but James stepped away quickly.

"I… I need to sit down," he said, excusing himself and staggering backward. He wanted to get away from her, and he definitely did not want to walk past her to the bedroom he knew was hidden away somewhere.

He turned and walked across the deck as well as his legs could carry him, fulling aware that he was teetering and careening with each hasty step. Finally, he found an empty pool chair, and he collapsed into it. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Merlin it felt good to sit. Now that his eyes were closed, he couldn't seem to open them. He must have fallen asleep because he was having a great dream.

In his dream, he must not have fought with Lily, he must have asked her to come with them. Or maybe she simply decided to surprise him. But she wasn't mad at him. She was straddling his hips, grinding down on him, her breasts tantalizingly close to his face, he could feel it. If they weren't at a party, her bikini top would be off so that his lips could find every inch of skin unimpeded. His hands found her backside, a bare expanse of smooth skin. If he was quick, he could probably move aside the little scrap of fabric that was between them and nobody would be any the wiser.

Except Dream Lily didn't smell right. His Lily always smelled like flowers and vanilla and a little bit like antiseptic, even when they were at the beach. But Dream Lily smelled like sun tan lotion and alcohol and something like licorice, which was just all wrong. And then she was disappearing, being yanked away from him, and James could hear shouting and he tried to open his eyes. They felt so heavy.

"Get the hell away from him," he heard Remus snarl, and he knew that it wasn't a Dream Remus because his mind could never nail the feral nature Remus' voice took on when he was furious. "C'mon James, we're leaving now."

Remus's hands were around James' ribs, yanking him up to a standing position, and he felt someone smaller slip underneath his shoulder on the other side. Peter, probably. With a pop and a quick jerk, they were moving, squeezing through space, and then they hit the floor in their hotel hard. James vomited where he stood, heaving. Alcohol and Apparition were not a good combination.

"Let's get to bed, mate," Remus sighed, and he and Peter helped James to the bedroom, and then he was well and truly asleep.

o . o . o

James awoke with his head pounding and a vague memory of what happened the night before. He felt swamped in regret - he'd but such an idiot. He scrambled from the bed and emerged into the little common area of their shared suite, Remus sitting at the table sipping on coffee while Peter scrambled what looked like at least two dozen eggs.

"Morning," James groaned, sinking into the seat next to Remus. His friend slid the coffee pot across the table, allowing James to fill the empty mug in front of him.

"Eggs, beans and toast are all on the way," Peter announced loudly, and James winced at the volume. "Sorry. In a bit of pain?"

"Not as much as you deserve I reckon," Remus snorted, tossing a set of newspapers across the table at James.

The text winked and flickered for a moment as the papers tried to find the right language for James, before finally settling on English. He wished they'd remained unintelligible though. In reality, the titles weren't even relevant, it was the pictures that were damning. That blasted girl with a seductive grin and her hand sneaking under his trunks. Her sitting on top of him, her fingers in his hair as his hands caressed her backside. James felt like vomiting again as he looked at them, and he threw them aside.

"She's gonna see those, you know," Remus admonished. "You're a right ass."

"I know," James answered sullenly. "She's going to leave me for this."

"Frankly, I think she's going to murder you for it, but yeah, either way, I don't think you'll be together anymore," Remus said. He clearly had little sympathy for his friend.

"You know that it wasn't… that I didn't want to…?" James struggled to find the right words for what had happened to him the night before.

"Of course I know that not of it was bloody consensual!" he exclaimed, frustrated. "Why do you think I got you out of there so damn fast? But James, you put yourself in this situation, and that is what is hard to forgive."

"I -" James began, a little bit outraged by his friend's stance.

"Oh not the position to be assaulted, nobody ever gets themselves into that," Remus sighed exasperatedly. "But you knew that people would take pictures and there might even be paparazzi. You knew that anyone was just dying to snap a photo of you talking to another girl just a little bit too close. You were mad at Lily and you wanted to hurt her, so you got drunk anyway and got yourself in a situation that you knew would almost certainly result in pictures like this."

"You think I wanted to hurt Lily?" James asked, more than a little bit shocked by the statement. "I just bought her a damn engagement ring!"

"James, we know you as well as anyone, and you have a temper on you," Peter chimed in, placing the breakfast plates on the table. "Besides, loving someone doesn't mean you'll never get mad at them."

James chewed on his eggs as he thought over his friends' words. Perhaps they were right and he'd been angry. Maybe it had made him stupid.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked. "It's time to go home."

o . o . o

James was sullen throughout their journey home, trying to decide what he could possibly say to Lily so she would understand and hopefully forgive him. He hated himself for screwing this up, and would give anything not to have gone to the party. As soon as they arrived in London, James hopped into the shower. Somehow, he didn't think it would help his case if he still smelled like vodka and vomit. He left for Lily's apartment as soon as he was dressed again. Lily was probably at work, but he would simply wait until she got home.

There was no one at the apartment when James arrived, and though he could easily let himself in, he felt like it would be an intrusion in this case. Lily deserved the opportunity to deny him entry if it's what she wanted. He sank to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees, tapping his feet on the ground anxiously.

Almost two hours passed before James heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway, and he straightened up. Lily rounded the corner and he immediately scrambled to his feet, quickly brushing his hair back in his typical nervous habit.

"Lily, can we talk?" he asked, trying not to get his hopes up.

She ignored him, walking straight past him with a hardened expression and unlocking the door to her apartment. But she didn't shut the door again behind her, and James took that as an invitation. He stepped cautiously into the little apartment, softly shutting the door and hovering by the entrance, waiting.

"I know I fucked up," he said after a long moment.

She did say anything, but Lily reached into her bag, pulling out two newspapers and throwing them on the kitchen counter with an aggressive slap. James cringed at the sound and wished he could crawl into a hole as he saw the headlines.

LILY LEFT BEHIND

EVANS ELIMINATED IN THE RACE FOR PRINCESS

"You could have at least told me," she spat, pulling out a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water. There was venom in her words, but James was almost positive that she had turned away so that he couldn't see her cry.

"It's not what it looks like," he said, cursing the words for their cliche, and she scoffed. "I swear on Merlin's wand, Lily, please just hear me out."

"Well this ought to be fun," she huffed, sitting down on the sofa with her arms crossed and anger boiling like a potion in her eyes.

"Look," James began, taking a deep breath, "I fucked up, Lily, I know I did. I shouldn't have gone to the party with the guys, and I definitely shouldn't have been drinking. There's no denying it. But I didn't do that."

"So what? The pictures are doctored?" LIly asked, her eyebrows flying up in skepticism.

"No, they're real, but I…" James paused, his expression pleading with Lily even as she was shaking her head and turning away. "Lily the first picture, I was feeling dizzy, and I was trying to find a place to sit down for a bit, and I wanted you, and she came up to me, and… I don't even know what she said, but she reached out and then I excused myself. We spoke for maybe thirty seconds, that's it."

Lily stood there, still looking angry, but she hadn't shoved him out of the apartment yet, so he knew he still had a few minutes to explain, or at least try to.

"I don't really know what happened in the second photo, Lily," he continued, sighing and running his hand through his hair as he stared down at the ground with furrowed brows. "I remember finding the chair and collapsing in it, and then I think I fell asleep. I remember dreaming of you, but it felt weird, like something was off. And then Remus was shouting and waking me and carting me off to the hotel. And I know it looks bad, but I swear on Merlin's hat that I didn't want any of it, I didn't even know…"

"James…" Lily replied, her expression softening a bit. "James, that's assault."

"I… yeah, I guess it is," he answered, trying not to think about it too hard. "Honestly, Lily, I haven't thought about it except for how badly I've fucked this all up, and I'm sorry. I don't think I can tell you enough, but I really am."

"It's okay," she said, reaching out to push his hair back from his forehead.

"I und - what?"

"It's okay," she repeated. "I understand that it wasn't something you did intentionally, or even wanted. But are you okay?"

"I don't know," James answered honestly. "I really haven't thought about it like that."

"I think… look, obviously this is pretty emotional for both of us," Lily reasoned, "and I think we should try to maybe stay out of the public eye for a bit until everything is cooled down a bit."

"Right, yeah," he agreed, emotions other than panic and regret starting to sink in for the first time.

"Come on, let's just go sit down for a bit," Lily suggested, tugging on his arm for a moment.

They curled up together on the sofa, trying to remind themselves that everything was alright. Lily felt exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions that she had been on throughout the week. She wouldn't be surprised if it took a week's worth of sleep to recover. Meanwhile James had only just begun to process what had happened during the trip, and he was more than a little overwhelmed.

"Hey Lils?" he said, trying to turn his mind to something happier.

"Mmm?" she hummed, content where she was with her head resting on his shoulder.

"What if we went on a vacation together?" James asked nervously. "I wanted to ask you before I left, but then we fought and things got so mucked up. But we could go anywhere you wanted - to the Caribbean, or to the Sahara, or wherever. Some time for just the two of us."

"That'd be nice," Lily agreed, smiling. She hoped she would dream of luxurious vacations and desperately needed time away from work, rather than worrying about the nightmare they'd been going through for the past few weeks. Things would start to look up, they had to, she was sure of it.

[graftonway]

we shall fight

It’s been hours since the movie ended and I’ve taken the train home and listened to music and washed up and eaten grapes and scrolled through tumblr and still all I hear is this:

tickticktickticktickticktickticktick

You hear it throughout the film. It stays with you, seeping into your brain until you’re conditioned to it, until everything ticks and continues to, until you’re hyper-aware of rhythm and even phone notifications blinking, your typing, remind you of it. A friend described it perfectly as taking a long breath and not being able to breathe while holding it. The feeling that’s dropped to the bottom of my stomach hasn’t left yet; I’m still waiting for something to happen. I don’t even know what, but it’s stifling, tense, overwhelming. And that is all of Dunkirk in a nutshell.

This isn’t, strictly speaking, a war movie. Frankly I’m not even sure it’s a movie. It seems to be - or at least pretend towards being - everything: horror, thriller, documentary, symphony, cinematography, emotion, art. Much like the way it spans all three branches of the armed forces (land, sea, air), it tries to be everything at once. Perhaps in the hands of a lesser director this would have ended a disaster, but - and forgive me if I’m being crass with this comparison - Nolan, like Dynamo, plucks salvation from what could have been absolute catastrophe.

The first thing that you take away from Dunkirk is the sheer scale. Of course, as a history student, I’ve seen the photos of the beaches before, long unyielding lines that stretch as far as there is beach. Nolan does it slightly differently. Instead of one snaking, scattered queue there are multiple short ones, cinematic as anything and yet still overwhelming in number. It makes for a great introduction to the film, sets the stage for what’s to come. The aesthetic beauty that war sometimes begets versus the horrific reality it encompasses. The constant push and pull between the patience of the body of waiting men, never heard once to complain, and lack of time that’s played out again and again. Tiny, moving human parts and the weight of the unmentioned German war machine.

Nolan’s movies are always clever, though here the cleverness isn’t as immediately obvious as something like Inception. It’s a layer that you peel back and revel in as you watch. It’s something that builds up, in all its scattered parts and broken pieces, pieces that you collect and store until they come together and make sense. Take the premise of time here, for instance. Words on screen that are always meant to provide context do the opposite here: ‘the mole / one week’, ‘the sea / one day’, ‘the air / one hour’ make no sense to the viewer as they settle in. But all it takes is for one shot - Cillian Murphy’s face in the dark on a boat, straight after his appearance in the bright sunshine on a different vessel - to realise what it means: the action is all taking place in a different time scale. And that moment hits you like a punch in the gut, even though it’s the most simple of revelations. A perfectly positioned callback. Without even knowing why you begin to watch the film differently, all because of the buildup that explodes with one miniscule yet incredibly powerful detail.

It’s this same kind of buildup that squeezes itself into the music. The movie lurches between sound from the get go - the quiet of walking down the street to the startling pops of gunfire, the brief moment before the torpedo hits to the jarring explosion. War sets in here without a single line of expository dialogue, the way it can weigh down other films (the “war is hell, boys” trope that even Hacksaw Ridge was guilty of). Instead all we get is the constant, jarring soundtrack, so loud and in your face that you are drawn into all of the violence and spectacular chaos (something that the multiple timelines also lend themselves to). This builds and builds until it ends, abruptly, twice: firstly, when the Little Ships come into view, and secondly, on the train that Tommy and Alex crumple into. The suddenness of the way it ends is as jarring as any explosion or loud dramatic orchestral note, all the more sharp for its absence. We get sweeping, nostalgic strings over the view of the flotilla, and pure silence (combined with the same sweeping music later) when Tommy falls into the seat.

Which is why so much weight comes to rest upon just these two scenes - the ships and the ending - and why I want to talk about those in particular. It will come as no surprise that they’re the two I cried at; as a kid I read about the Dunkirk spirit and the Churchill speech, and they both have special meaning for me. Add to that me just being a complete and utter sap for nostalgia, sentiment, painfully obvious emotional manipulation.

There’s enough emotional impact in the story of the Little Ships themselves that any film could pull it off with suitable heroic payoff, but it’s just done so very well here. The ticking of the pressure cooker and the fear of death instantly vanishes, replaced by the heartwarming, exceedingly British orchestra. For there is some measure of nationalism (I hesitate to say propaganda, but) with this, as with all war movies; it’s an unavoidable trope, yet one handled so well here. It’s muted - the only flag is the one in the small corner of a larger blue flag, blurred in the background of Mr. Dawson’s boat. Bolton (a place name in and of itself) calls out to some of them, asking where they’re from. And in the end the boats go by an approximation of Dover. But the real focus is on the humanity of the people who came to save the troops. No dialogues or stars in these scenes: just civilians, just ‘home’. Some reviews were critical about the lack of character names and the like, but I think that was done intentionally for this reason, to demonstrate how humanity is about being and not knowing. With the lack of the tickticktick in the background Dunkirk’s first message is, ironically, hammered through: in a movie so packed with tension, it isn’t actually the tension that’s important, but how we escape it. Only later do you get introduced to some of the characters’ personal lives - Dawson is so determined because his son died - but that doesn’t matter, because the heroism is already there. If the movie is a breath you’ve been holding then the Little Ships are the moment you breathe out.

Character development is hardly present in the movie, which makes it all the more impressive that we still manage to feel for and care for every single one of them; I think this is one of the greatest achievements of the film, in that Nolan somehow gets to the heart of war and the rawest of our emotions. Too many war movies get bogged down in character development, the false belief that you need to know the character in order to feel for them shifting the focus away from showing actual war itself. But Nolan understands this, and makes the choice not to identify his characters. The three Mole soldiers look the same; the French soldier’s real name is never given; and Tommy’s name is a generic epithet for all British soldiers. They have no personal characteristics at all. And yet, when Gibson is drowning inside the boat, your heart seizes; you want him, desperately, to get out. Here Dunkirk takes on the shape of the great war novels, like the nameless French soldier in All Quiet On The Western Front. This is the horror of war - that everyone dies - and the real way to experience it is being frightened of death itself, not just fleshed-out characters you have come to feel for dying.

In fact there’s barely any dialogue in the movie, either, except for necessary communication; Bolton is the most heavy-handed in exposition, but otherwise words are limited to observations about the tide, speculation on target practice, explanation for locking the door. Which is why everything that isn’t technical carries so much weight. Collins’s breezy ‘afternoon’ regardless of his near-death experience might be played for laughs but it’s also a conscious remarking on the stereotypical British spirit. One that struck me deeply is Peter’s ‘he’s fine’ to the Shivering Soldier (or something to that effect) - in just one phrase the dilemma of shell shock, the question of blame, and the soldier’s innocence are perfectly captured. But my favourite, of course, as someone weaned on Churchill, is the speech.

As a twelve, thirteen year old I memorised that speech, word for word, all the way till the end. I’ve listened to it many times. And I can’t even begin to explain how emotional I got when Tommy began to read it out and all the cuts from each time period began to intersect with each other. If ever the movie was disparate (and I don’t think it was, and I don’t agree with people who did) it came together at the end, each thread drawn together by possibly the most iconic, recognisable historical device. The sense of unity, of destiny, of a swelling, growing belief in the job left. The two last images of the film - the burning spitfire and Tommy’s face - cleave so perfectly into each other; I don’t think I’ve felt that kind of breathtaking momentousness from an ending for a very, very long time. Farrier gets captured but he’s also arguably the biggest hero of the film, saving countless numbers of people on the beach that hour. He ends up captured and his plane ends up burning, but the Germans didn’t burn it - he did, and in doing so it becomes a symbol of defiance in the face of defeat. We are always reminded that this is a defeat. But that doesn’t signal futility and devastation.

One of the reasons I say that this isn’t a war movie is because the enemy is never really there. Besides the last scene, where Farrier is captured, you don’t see any German soldiers (and even those are blurred out). That gives you the impression that this isn’t about triumph, in any way, but about survival, as the old man in the end so neatly put it. All we did was survive. That’s enough. Many horrors of war are depicted here. Drowning in the locked hull of a torpedoed ship, waiting patiently on a packed bridge for Messerschmits to strafe you. Violence, while not graphic, is never shied away from. Tension and impending doom is built masterfully, whether through Collins’ helplessness watching Farrier or Bolton closing his eyes to wait for death. But while you get the feeling that it is inescapable, you never get the feeling that it is insurmountable, and that is what Dunkirk is about, really. My major qualm with the movie before I watched it was how they were going to turn it into a triumphant, gun-waving kind of thing when it was a defeat. But it’s not about defeating the Germans, because as Churchill said wars are not won by evacuation. Not even about the end of a battle given the continuous references to what is yet to come. It’s about what matters most to us, what the ‘Dunkirk’ used in modern British parlance now refers to: human spirit and endeavor. Battling on.

Dunkirk is probably not the greatest war movie I’ve ever watched (although that is a topic for another time). It has, of course, its problems. I’m not sure how much credence the lack of poc claim has as I haven’t had the time to go look it up yet, but other tiny things niggle here and there. Yet one of the major criticisms I’ve heard about this movie is that it’s too intense and action focused and, of all things, I think that that’s the least concerned anyone should be about it. You can’t capture all of war in a single movie. You can barely capture certain experiences. If other movies are allowed to develop other aspects, like character and the mundanity of war, why shouldn’t Dunkirk be allowed to dig deep into the terrifying tension and uncertainty that is so fundamentally a part of it (being shelled while in foxholes is another example that comes to mind)? There is emotion in intensity, and humanity is found everywhere. Even in the most painful, most terrible of times. 

There’s a trope in Waiting For Godot about the weary, fallible hero, the human struggling to create meaning and stay alive in the most downtrodden noble sense. It’s a trope I’ve always thought applies to the way the British view themselves and certainly something that applies here, weary soldiers and civilians alike picking themselves up with the haunted promise in Tommy’s face. Youthful and yet tattered, dark and hollow yet with a measure of steel that lends backbone to that famous line: we shall go on to the end.

[an-actual-real-live-eevee]

overlywhirly replied to your post “why do people still think signing a petition is gonna boycott a movie...”

https://youtu.be/Fnij3MHfl6k

friend

buddy

pal

chum

I am already of the opinion that your video here is disrespectful to the mentally ill as it uses ‘triggering’ in a sarcastic manner and triggers are a legitimate thing and should not be joked about or taken lightly, signed, a person with PTSD....but that’s a discussion for another time. just know that I already have an extremely low opinion of your video. it’s not coming from a place of caring about the mentally ill or understanding the stigma around our disorders, and therefore, it really can’t make any valid points.

but that doesn’t mean I won’t do my best to rip the “points” apart anyway, so here we fuckin’ go!

two-face? first happened in 1942. there was so little understanding for the disorder then, first off. there wasn’t even a community to rally against bad portrayals of it. on top of that, I wasn’t alive. I’m twenty. you, uh, see the problem there, right?

in addition....do you have any idea how hard it is to change media that already exists? do you realize how difficult it is to try and get people to retcon shit that’s been canon in a media world for any period of time that is over a month? the reason we’re rallying against Split is because it’s brand-new and it’s barely out. there’s still time with this one. on top of that, it’s been incredibly hyped, and it’s in a popular genre--horror films. something like Criminal Minds? not quite as big a following as a horror film. so not only does it make more sense to oppose a new thing than all the old shit that’s existed for ages and would be much harder to even try and get rid of or point out as a problem, it’s also a much more hyped thing than past media portraying DID as scary and bad.

why don’t I talk about films demonizing things like bipolar? simple: I don’t have bipolar, and therefore, I know nothing about the stigma around it....so I’m not equipped to speak on it, just like the person in your video isn’t equipped to speak on this subject here!

“does the fact that the antagonists are scary or mean or evil make it okay?” wow, somehow both you and this guy managed to completely miss the point of everything we’ve been saying! no. that’s exactly the fucking problem: the antagonists have our disorder and they are scary and mean and evil. that’s the issue we’re talking about here, that’s the problem, please try to keep up. (also, Psycho came out in 1960, I was again not alive and there still wasn’t much of a DID community....are you getting the problems here yet?)

and yeah, sure, there’s shit that hits way closer to the mark in terms of general mental illness....but nothing that hits anywhere near the mark for DID. funny thing I can’t help noticing here? this dude in this video keeps using ‘DID’ and ‘mental illness’ like they’re interchangeable. news flash, buddy: they’re not. and this is an issue specific to DID, that affects only people with DID, not the general ‘mental illness’ community.

“people need to be victimized.” ....you know, I’m suddenly getting the feeling this is one of those guys who doesn’t think sexism is still a thing.

no, people don’t “need” to be victimized. sure, there are probably people who enjoy feeling that way, but they’re not the majority and don’t try to pretend that they are. “people need to feel victimized” is an extremely typical response to actual fucking problems like racism, sexism, ableism, transphobia, and so on. and dismissal of actual problems is what leads to shit like Trump’s presidency! but you keep on toting that “people are making shit up because they want to feel victimized!” flag if it helps you sleep better at night for being so self-centered.

oh wow, we managed to hit on something I actually think is a problem! people fabricating mental illnesses while I, a person with the actual disorder, wonder why anyone would ever want it for themselves. yes, there are lots of people who fake DID or similar on Tumblr, and no, I don’t really get why they would; DID sucks ass, if I’m being honest. it’s just too bad that you and this fellow here can’t put two and two together to realize “people with the actual disorder are upset over people faking it inaccurately and causing problems for those with the actual disorder who need to be taken seriously” is also applicable to “horror movie blows disorder out of proportion, calls it the by the disorder’s name, and uses it as a cheap horror scare while making people with the disorder seem dangerous.”

almost every antagonist in a horror film suffers from some kind of mental condition, you claim? mmm...maybe. I’m sure, if we looked at every antagonist ever in a horror film, we could probably diagnose the undiagnosed ones with some form of a psychiatric problem, based on what was close to what the antagonist seemed to display. 

however! 

this movie, Split? it’s a DID-based movie. it uses the disorder’s goddamn name. it talks about multiple personalities. it makes it VERY fucking clear that this is DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER and nothing else. I can think of, off the top of my head, three horror films I really liked that didn’t label a mental illness for the antagonist to have the way Split does. that right there’s a big part of the problem. in addition, Split’s gone after a very distinctive mental illness--even if they hadn’t labeled it, it would be very clear what they were talking about. also a problem! on top of that....no, this claim is absolutely false; not every antagonist in a horror film is given a mental illness the way Split has given one to their antagonist. I can think of two off the top of my head that I’ve seen and enjoyed that didn’t use mental illness for horror factor at all. I can think of a third that used an extreme version of an existing autoimmune disorder as part of the horror factor. so no, this claim is very false. but even then--you’re not wrong. mental illness is often used as a scare factor in horror films. especially the “scary and dangerous” ones, like psychosis. it may shock you to find I also have a problem with that! but surprisingly, I have a limited amount of energy to devote to online stuff and opposing things, and so I’m trying to take this whole ‘trying to get better portrayals of the mentally ill’ thing one fight at a time. Split caught my eye because it’s been so hyped, and I went from there.

and hey, guess what? part of the whole fucking problem here is that Split is super inaccurately representing DID....in exactly the same way it’s been misrepresented many times before: as a scary disorder that makes you a murderer. like....again, this is part of the problem. (really starting to wonder if you read any of my posts at all, dude.)

why no outcry against the PTSD portrayal of the pink stuffed bear in Toy Story 3? I can posit three guesses: one, it’s a movie targeted for kids, who are rarely in a position to recognize or speak out against PTSD and portrayals of mental illness. kinda an obvious fact there, I’d think? anyway. two, PTSD absolutely can make someone overreactive, easily upset, easily triggered, and sometimes downright cruel or dangerous. that’s not an incorrect portrayal on the whole, and so I wouldn’t actually be upset by it. three, there are decently positive portrayals of PTSD in existence--something DID doesn’t have. PTSD affects many people and is relatively well known about and talked about and not horribly demonized as “having this makes you scary and terrifying”. which isn’t to say it’s totally accepted, but it’s doing better than DID! DID, on the other hand, partly because of its media history and partly because of how few people it affects, is rarely discussed, often demonized, and sometimes even viewed as fake....all of which makes it very hard for actual sufferers of DID LIKE ME to talk about their disorder, discuss it with anyone, be open about it with friends, family, or even therapists--which are PROBLEMS. problems that movies like Split definitely contribute to, but movies like Toy Story 3 really don’t, for aforementioned reasons.

oh boy, here we go with twisting the facts and ignoring the actual truth of how PTSD is handled in most media versus how DID is handled in most media! no, idiot, Toy Story 3 is not teaching kids to ‘fear people with PTSD’. for one thing, by the time a kid learns what PTSD actually is and puts it together that the bear has it, they’ll probably have seen a positive portrayal of it, or they’ll know someone who has it, or at worst, they will have it, and they’ll have to accept it and learn that people with PTSD aren’t scary. on the other hand, DID doesn’t get positive media, people rarely know someone who has it, and it’s even rarer that someone will have it themselves. in addition, this is media directed at adults, who will be able to process that Split is about a real disorder since they NAME IT IN THE MOVIE (the disorder of the bear in Toy Story 3 is UNNAMED), and will already know about mental illness and mental disorders, and will probably take away that DID is a scary disorder at the bottom line.

re: isn’t it teaching kids that if they had a traumatic experience, they’ll probably become evil? ahahahaha. wow. it’s almost like that’s not a rhetoric tossed out to abuse survivors with PTSD all the time, that they’ll grow up to replicate their abuse....OH WAIT IT IS WOW WHAT A COINCIDENCE

.....I don’t think my DID makes me a better type of person, lmao, so I’m not sure where we got THAT from

anyway....in conclusion, I think you and this guy are both idiots who didn’t do their research, and I think you didn’t read my posts at all, and I hope you’ve appreciated this picking apart of this dumbass video! assuming you’re still with me, that is, which I assume you’re not--people like you tend to be giant narcissists who don’t care about others and just want to enjoy things without those damn whiny babies it’s harming speaking up.