#tsp shell

[vampthropologist]

[teamnarr8oftheparableverse]

Tumblr Blog Banner, Narrator order version and Rainbow version ^^

List of Endings shown: 

Yellow (Charles) - 3 Press Conference Ending

Green (Jasper) - Boss’ Office in Not Stanley Ending

Indigo (Neil) - Night in Epilogue

Orange (Hal) - Bucket Apartment Ending

Pink (Basil/Tulsi) - Stanlurines/Stanley Figurines Ending

Blue (Shell) - Executive Bathroom when you go upstairs in the Left Door Endings

Red (Tellor) - Countdown Ending

Purple (N1L-35 (Niles)) - “Is That A Bucket?” Ending

Hope this satisfies you before the official opening of this blog ^^

Have A Nice Day! ^^

[narrators-ruminations]

Hello

Got any cool shrimp facts?

Oh hello there, peculiar... Raccoon? Jester? Nevermind.

Ah, shrimp facts, you say? Hmm... I'm trying to think of one that isn't so common... Oh! Do you remember that shrimp in the dentist's fish tank in the movie, "Finding Nemo"? It's a type of cleaning shrimp, and when they're out in the wild, they do a silly little "dance" of sorts to catch the attention of fish for cleaning! I suggest you look it up on Youtube. Any possible parasites that may live on the fish are free food for them, and of course, the fish are happy to be... eh, parasiteless.

A sort of... Mutualistic symbiosis, if you will. I think it's fascinating.

[tytoalbatross]

@that-caffeinated-queer exploding, blowing up, torn to smithereens

the way the narrator loves stanley in that complete, all-encompassing, often destructive way a creative loves his creation and the way a tree loves the owl resting inside it and the way the lost soul loves their cheap entertainment. the way the narrator is bound to him in the way a prisoner is to his ball and chain and the way the earth is bound to the sun and the way the anchor is bound to the ship. the way you see how he literally slams the door shut on stanley in the ultra deluxe game awards trailer, holding freedom in front of his face and then yanking it away from him, opening up the floor and dropping him into his office and locking him in and showering him, drowning him in the profits of a potential revival and smothering him in the freezing, endless, yet safe sameness of the world he has built for them both, look, stanley, look at all the money we'll make, it'll make everything okay, stanley, i promise, let's go for one more round! the way he is so desperate for comfort and companionship that he loves stanley far too much for his own good and will never be free because to be free is to leave stanley...

the way the escape pod will only work properly if both the narrator and stanley are present, the player not mattering, it only matters that they're BOTH ready to go, ready to leave, ready to end this parable of theirs together, and the way the escape pod ending inevitably disables the narration far before that point because of course the narrator will NEVER be ready to leave, even if he tells himself otherwise in the figley ending- one last run with stanley, he says, and then the way the player never has to do the epilogue to end it. they can, if they choose, just keep playing as normal. the epilogue is not something that automatically follows the narrator's self-realization because it is not what he wants, and even if it was, it's too late for him to leave now.

the narrator keeping stanley trapped in the parable, traumatized and exhausted and just wanting a vacation but safe from the unknown, the narrator refusing to ever truly let stanley go, the narrator creating a wonderful room full of colorful light that they can both be happy in as long as they stay there forever,

the narrator refusing to be present for the escape pod sequence because he does not want to go, and stanley thinking about this as he arrives there with the bucket, his bucket, and sets it down in the pod and wipes its tears away and bids it goodbye and lets the bucket go...

[hellsitegenetics]

Chicken Pot Pie! :D

this is an actual recipe, but I have not tested it so have no idea if its good.

Ingredients

1 tbsp. olive oil

1 1/2 lb. bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1/2 yellow onion, chopped

2 carrots, chopped

2 stalks celery, chopped

1 tsp. fresh thyme

1/4 c. all-purpose flour

2 c. chicken stock

1/4 c. dry white wine

1 c. frozen peas

1/4 c. fresh flat-leaf parsley

1 (14-ounce) package all-butter puff pastry

1 large egg, beaten

Directions

Step 1Preheat oven to 425°F. Heat a large cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Add oil. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Cook, skin sides down, until golden brown and crisp, 6 to 8 minutes. Flip chicken and transfer skillet to the oven. Cook, until the internal temperature of the thickest thigh registers 165°F on an instant-read thermometer, 12 to 14 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board. Discard skins and bones, and chop chicken. 

Step 2Place skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, carrots, celery, and thyme. Season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, just until crisp-tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Add flour and cook, stirring, 30 seconds. Slowly stir in stock and wine. Bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until thickened, 4 to 6 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in chicken, peas, and parsley. 

Step 3Cut puff pastry into a circle 1 inch larger than the outside rim of a cast-iron pie plate. (You may need to roll the dough on a lightly floured work surface to get it to size.) Place pie plate on a rimmed baking sheet. Transfer filling to pie plate and top with puff pastry; crimp edges. Brush puff pastry with egg. Bake, until golden brown, puffed, and cooked through, 20 to 25 minutes.

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Closest match: Neolamprologus multifasciatus genome assembly, chromosome: 18 Common name: Many Banded Shell-Dweller

(image source)

[feyburner]

hiii, do you have any good fall recipe recs? sweet or savoury I don’t mind I just regard you as a cooking god and am looking for inspiration

Yes! Here is my current To Make list.

Many I’ve made before and some are recipes I want to try.

I’m linking specific recipes just bc I’m copy pasting from my own list. Sorry for all the instagram reels, you can just google the name of the thing and find it.

I’m going apple picking with my friends sometime in early October so I’m already planning all the apple things I want to make 🤤🍎

And Friendsgiving… so many pies…

SWEET

- French Apple Cake/German Apple Cake

- Apple Tarte Tatin

- Apple Crunch Tart/“The Best Apple Tart in Paris”

- My auntie’s date pecan bread, one of my favorite quickbreads of all time. Yes you are reading that ingredient list correctly. This is for real fruit & nut enjoyers only. If you can’t play with the big boys go home.

- Pumpkin Bread

- Pumpkin Pie (I use the Libby’s recipe but double the cinnamon & ginger, brown sugar instead of white, 1 extra egg, and add 1 tsp vanilla, 1/2 tsp cardamom, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, a few cracks of black pepper, and lemon or orange zest. AND let the filling chill in the fridge overnight!!)

- Sweet Potato Pie (my own recipe, I’ll put under the cut)

- Pecan Pie (same)

- Cinnamon Roll Focaccia/Pumpkin Cinnamon Swirl Sourdough

- Orange Cardamom Olive Oil Cake

- Pear Almond Tart (Tarte Bourdaloue)

SAVORY

- Arayes (made already, so good)

- Crispy Pork Scallion Buns

- Coconut Curry Butternut Squash Sheet Pan Soup (+ Any Vegetable Sheet Pan Soup)

- Veggie Filo Crinkle Cake

- Peanut Noodle Soup

- Fall Squash Galette/Butternut Squash & Caramelized Onion Galette

- Crispy Parmesan Carrots

- Garam Masala Roasted Carrots

- Zucchini Cornbread

- Homemade (sourdough?) pizza with roasted butternut or kabocha squash, goat cheese, figs, caramelized onions

- My dad’s red beans and rice :)

- Spicy Korean Fried Chicken

- Potato Tart with Zucchini & Feta

- Thai Red Curry Dumpling Soup

- Channa Masala

MY RECIPES:

SWEET POTATO PIE

MAKES: 1 x 8-9” pie

INGREDIENTS

1 ½ lbs sweet potatoes (2-3 potatoes) (3 cups flesh), whole, to be roasted

1 x 12 oz can evaporated milk

1 cup (200g) dark brown sugar

2 eggs

5 Tbsp (70g) butter, melted

1 Tbsp lemon zest (zest of 1 lemon)

1 tsp lemon juice

1 Tbsp cinnamon

½ tsp kosher salt

½ tsp ginger

¼ tsp nutmeg

a few cracks (⅛ tsp) freshly ground black pepper

+

1 disc (½ recipe) All-Butter Pie Crust*

*I’ve posted my pie crust recipe on tumblr before tagged “recipes”

DIRECTIONS

1. Roast sweet potatoes: Preheat oven to 400°. Line a baking sheet with foil. Wash and scrub whole sweet potatoes. Pierce potatoes all over 3-5x with paring knife. Roast 45 minutes until fork tender. Let cool, then collect 3 cups flesh.

2. Prepare crust: Roll out pie dough (12-14” diameter circle, ¼” thick). Press into tin and crimp edges. Chill shaped shell in fridge or freezer until ready to use.

3. Preheat oven to 350°.

4. Make filling: Put all ingredients in food processor. Pulse 3-4x until smooth. (You can also use a blender, or simply beat ingredients until fully combined.)

5. Pour filling into pie shell.

6. Bake 45-60 minutes until puffed and firmly set (toothpick clean) everywhere except the very center, which should retain a very slight jiggle (but not look liquid). The center will set as it cools. Start checking at 45 minutes and continue baking at 5 minute intervals until set. (If crust gets too brown, shield edges with foil.)

7. Let cool completely before serving, at least 1 hour.

NOTES

Roast the potatoes whole, in the skins, so the sugars & starches properly caramelize. Do not steam or boil potatoes, even whole. They will take on water and make the filling soggy.

You can roast the potatoes up to 1 week in advance. Collect flesh day of.

PECAN PIE

MAKES: 1 x 8-9” pie

INGREDIENTS

2 cups (250g) chopped pecans

1 cup (200g) dark brown sugar

1 cup light or dark corn syrup

¼ cup (56g) butter

4 eggs

1 Tbsp vanilla

1 tsp kosher salt

1 tsp cinnamon

+

1 disc (½ recipe) All-Butter Pie Crust

DIRECTIONS

1. Prepare shell: Roll out pie dough (12-14” diameter circle, ¼” thick), press into tin, crimp edges. Chill shaped shell in fridge or freezer until ready to use.

2. Preheat oven to 350°.

3. Cook sugar syrup: In a saucepan, bring sugar, corn syrup, and butter to boil over medium heat for 1-2 minutes, whisking constantly, to cook sugar. Take off heat. Let cool slightly, 3 minutes.

4. Temper eggs: In a bowl, beat eggs until lightened and frothy. Slowly, while whisking, pour ½ cup of warm syrup into eggs. Whisk to combine. Then, while whisking, slowly pour egg mixture back into the remaining syrup mixture. Whisk until smooth.

5. Whisk in vanilla, salt, and cinnamon.

6. Pour chopped pecans into bottom of pie shell. Pour filling over pecans.

7. Bake 45-60 minutes until fully set everywhere except the very center, which should retain a very slight jiggle. The center will set as it cools. Start checking at 45 minutes and continue baking at 5 minute intervals until set.

8. Let cool completely before serving, at least 1 hour.

NOTES

Many recipes do not require you to cook the sugar before baking the pie. However, pre-cooking the sugar (and tempering the eggs) ensures the ideal gooey, silky, perfectly smooth texture.

Toast pecans if desired: Arrange pecans in a single layer on a baking sheet and toast in preheated oven 5-8 minutes.

[paper-possum-party-pal]

Meet The Narrator!

And it appears that there are two other characters to unlock in this lineup!

I’ll give you all the lore for main tsp AU once I reveal the design for the final character, but for now you get to learn about my Narrator!

The Narrator is a being known as an Informis Voxumis that has spent years observing humanity. The Narrator and other beings like him do not have natural physical forms, they’re just a voice/consciousness stretched across planes of dimensions and reality. This existence intersecting these planes can allow them to build physical forms for themselves, but it’s incredibly difficult to do so considering the matter that needs to be pieced together in a functional manner. It’s a miracle that The Narrator would eventually manage to pull it off. Informis Voxumis, or ‘Voices’ for something simpler, existed across the galaxy since near the beginning of time, but their numbers have dwindled to the point that The Narrator and his two cohorts have only interacted with each other, and while there’s still probably more out there, it’s unli they’ll ever meet. There are two more Entities similar to the Informis Voxumis that are also watching over Earth and the three Voices, but that’s a story for another day.

The Narrator’s Bio!

(The Narrators fear and disdain for humanity is completely warranted. Not only are living things, to him, gross meat things that do awful gross stuff, but intelligent mortal beings are fully capable of killing or controlling the Informis Voxumis. How? Oh I definitely totally remember how and am certainly not stalling to tell you when I figure it out)

After spending years watching humanity The Narrator begins to grow bored, and while he’s weary about interacting with any aspect of Earth, he’s become insatiably curious. The Narrator gets the clever idea (in his opinion) to create a human and place it in a little sandbox he’s created to study the idiosyncrasies of humanity.

This is the start of The Parable.

Unfortunately for The Narrator, he doesn’t really know what he’s doing and while he thinks he’s making a completely original human, he’s actually plucked the recently deceased soul of one Stanley and has begun fiddling around with it. The original Stanley is mostly lost in this process, and beyond the few remanents left of Stanley, he is nothing more than a shell of what he once was, so at first he doesn’t really do much. The Narrator then has to tweak Stanley until he can move around, understand orders, etc. This creates a new Stanley with no memories of the past beyond what the Narrator has shoved into him for his character. This new Stanley starts out curious and optimistic, but you know how the story goes by now. He loses that optimism, starts doing everything he can to go against and irritate The Narrator, and they start butting heads. This begins their on again off again friendship and rivalry.

I’m still deciding when in the timeline it happens exactly, but The Narrator eventually makes his human form, partly to prove that he’s better than humanity and that he’d make a great human. Another repressed part of him did it because he was curious and lonely, and the most repressed part of him did it because he noticed how lonely, depressed, and touch starved Stanley was becoming. He doesn’t use it for a long time after making it, he hides it and doesn’t tell Stanley, but eventually he’s given the push he needed to try it out and finally greet Stanley in person.

He is immediately punched in the face.

Stanley doesn’t apologize, which is warranted, but that’s the moment they really start over and try to get along better.

That’s one(ish?) part done. Sorry if I’ve rambled on too much or if it’s disjointed. I’m honestly not used to writing things down like this and I needed to put what I had in my head out into the world. I’ll probably write a more comprehensive document or something, maybe answer questions, idk. It probably doesn’t help that there are certain aspects of this AU that I’m still trying to develop. I’ll need to make a separate things so I can make it clear exactly what’s going on with Stanley.

One final note, my Narrator does share a human name with one of @shinakazami1 Narrator’s from her lovely Ao3 fic “Destiny Surely Likes to Play Tricks” that she made with Taking_L’s. I wanted to make sure they got proper credit, and if you haven’t read it already, you really should! I’ll be posting a link to the fic separately since this post is already long enough.

Congrats if you managed to wade through my idea speghetti, good job! And thanks for all your lovely words in my last posts, it really makes my day!

The first image but without the character shadows

[gothhabiba]

Hello! I have a vegan cooking dilemma. I'm a baker professionally and a vegetarian. I'm trying to incorporate more vegan meals into my diet, but using locally-produced whole ingredients like butter, eggs, cheeses, and milk is something I really value, and I notice that lots of vegan baking doesn't seem able to avoid using very processed substitutes (e.g. vegan butter, vegan cheese) with basically untraceable supply chains. I'm open to the solution just being that I have to bake less in a personal capacity and experiment with other kinds of cooking, but I'd love to know your thoughts—I don't want my efforts to live more ethically to disconnect me from my local food scene, but I'm struggling to find vegan baking ingredients that don't cause that to an extent. Is this something you have advice navigating?

(Would-be vegan baker continued) I'm lucky here to live in an area where there's lots of agriculture, so I'm already using locally-grown and produced flours, vegetable oil, fruits, honeys, and so on in my baking. I'm just struggling to find or make substitutes for animal fats that don't involve spending lots of money with corporations totally divorced from the rest of my food landscape :(

It would be helpful if you told me a little more about what kinds of things you'd like to bake! Off the top of my head, I can't actually think of a single recipe that would be impossible to make without store-bought margarine or vegan cheese.

Muffins, cookies, most cakes:

The egg is being used for binding and a little bit of leavening. Replace one egg with 2 Tbsp water + 1 Tbsp vegetable oil + 2 tsp baking powder.

Meringues:

(Or any cake where you're whipping air into 4 or more eggs as a significant part of building structure)

You can make your own aquafaba (the soaking / cooking liquid from chickpeas) for this purpose if you have a source for dried chickpeas.

Pie crusts and other pastry shells:

Make an oil crust. Vegetable oil or refined coconut oil will work for this purpose.

Vegan cheese:

You can make your own cultured 'cheese' out of cashews or almonds, and probiotic capsules. If you don't want to buy probiotic capsules, you can make your own starter culture out of wheat berries.

If recipes are using store-bought substitutes for eggs and butter, it's likely for reasons of quickness / convenience—it probably isn't because the recipe author doesn't see a way to avoid it. Vegan bakers have been getting by without these pre-fab solutions for a long time!

[askyves]

Hello everyone. Thank you for your patience while I worked on transcribing this recipe. I tend to measure by eye and instinct, you see. So it took a bit to properly measure what I typically use and turn it into a usable recipe.

That being said, this is a recipe for a rather experienced baker, so don't be discouraged if it takes a few tries to get the hang of it. Feel free to leave me any comments or questions you may have.

As for the crust, any shortcrust recipe will work just fine. Pie crust or tart crust are acceptable alternatives as well.

Licht's Favorite Darioles

Ingredients:

1/4 cup blanched almonds

175 ml cold water

150 ml heavy cream

2 eggs

1/4 cup sugar

1 tsp rosewater

1 cup minced strawberries

1 recipe of shortcrust pastry

Method:

Press pastry into mini tart tins. Prick the dough and divide the strawberries among the tins (these will act as pie weights during the blind bake)

Bake the crusts in a hot oven at 425°F/220°C for about 10 minutes until just starting to brown.

Pound the almonds until finely ground. Stir in the water and let sit for 10 minutes. Strain through a cheesecloth.

Measure out 150 ml of the mixture and mix with the heavy cream.

Whisk the eggs and sugar in a saucepan until homogeneous. (Take care not to whisk so much it turns frothy.)

Set over low heat and slowly stir in the cream mixture. Continue cooking while stirring constantly until thickened.

The custard is ready when it reaches nappe, meaning the consistency where it can coat the back of a spoon evenly, like so:

At this stage, stir in the rosewater and remove from the heat. Pour into the cooled tart shells and shake a bit so the custard can properly coat the strawberries.

Bake in a moderate oven at 350°F/175°C for about 20 minutes until set. The center should still be a bit wobbly.

Cool completely and chill before serving.

Taglist: @floydsteeth @littlewitty @the12thnightproject @bubblesthegreat3 @anonymousnamedhera @5mary5 @otomedad @solacedeer @sh0jun @yvies-whore

Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed.

[sweetcherryslim]

Mason Jar Instant Noodle Soup - 229 kcal/8g protein

Servings: 1 serving. 229 kcal / 8g protein

Ingredients

1 1/2 tsp. vegetable bouillon base (we used Better Than Bouillon)

1/4 tsp. grated fresh ginger

1 tbsp. warm water

1 bundle (about 11/2 ounces) instant rice vermicelli

1/4 c. kimchi, roughly chopped

1/4 c. shelled edamame, thawed if frozen

1 c. baby spinach

2 cremini mushrooms, very thinly sliced

1 scallion, thinly sliced

2 1/2 c. boiling water

Instructions

In 32-ounce wide-mouth mason jar or other heatproof jar, combine bouillon base and ginger. Stir in warm water. Add noodles and carefully cut in half with kitchen shears. Add to jar in following order: kimchi, edamame, spinach, mushrooms, and scallion; screw on lid. Refrigerate overnight if desired.

If refrigerated, let jar sit 20 minutes at room temperature. When ready to serve, pour boiling water over ingredients and cover with lid. Let sit until noodles are tender, 3 to 4 minutes, then stir to combine.

Pump Up the Protein: Add 1/2 cup shredded rotisserie chicken and replace the vegetable bouillon base with chicken bouillon base, or pop in 6 to 8 frozen cooked small shrimp (they’ll thaw overnight in the refrigerator).

[parasolladyansy]

cloud cookies with friends!

Debbie dropped by over here, bringing some nice rainstorms. In light of that, & needed to use up my extra ricotta from stuffed shells, I decided to do a little something I’ve seen around here as I baked some cloud cookies (soft ricotta cookies with a glaze). 🌧️

Sora (Castform) was watching the clouds & rain roll by as Rain (Vaporeon) helped me in the kitchen (very important that you know she helped!). Skye (Altaria) waited eagerly by the oven, & now these three sillies can’t wait to have one - gotta wait until ���Ikrit” comes home! 🩵

See you with the next DxP REWRITE update on Sunday! Until then, stay safe! 

—

PS: I forget where I found this recipe online, but this is the one I use (plus a tiny bit of sparkly sugar before the glaze sets). Have fun! 🌧️ Cloud Cookies:

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter (softened)

1/2 of 15 oz whole milk ricotta cheese (about a cup)

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg

2 cups flour

1 tbsp baking powder Glaze:

1 cup powdered sugar

1/8 tsp vanilla

1 tbsp milk

Recipe:

Preheat oven to 350.

Line a baking sheet parchment paper.

Cream sugar & butter on low speed until light & fluffy.

Add ricotta, vanilla, & egg - mix.

Add dry ingredients - mix into a dough.

Scoop 12 cookies onto baking sheet.

Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until light golden brown & the tops bounce back.

Cool cookies on wire rack (careful, they’re soft!)

Prepare glaze - combine powdered sugar, vanilla, & milk (add more milk if it’s not liquid enough).

Glaze cookies when cookies are completely cooled.

Enjoy! Notes: For a lemony flavor: add 1 tbsp lemon zest to cookie dough, & substitute 1 tbsp milk for lemon juice to glaze (add milk if not loose enough) 🍋

[employee052]

[VERGO] Blank Scripts AU Self-Insert OC

[what is it with me giving tsp related characters names with a v in their name? /j]

[This is for @blackkatdraws's Blank Scripts AU OC/Self-Insert event!]

This is Vergo! He's a husk of a man with a stupid face but i love him sdkjf. (I hope he fits into the au well enough! ive never made an oc for someone elses au so i hope hes okay! skdhf)

Some additional stuff i thought up while typing this post out:

Originally, he was supposed to have a cool monster/scary looking being inside of his shell, but i dont know how to draw that so we have static instead.

You can also find his discarded bodies randomly within the Parable if they haven't been digested yet.

He can be spawned/respawned at any point so theres a lot of him out there, but way more that are dead.

He's usually near Frederick and waits for any task or order to be given. Usually he just kinda stares blankly until someone talks to him or tells him what to do

his hands are the only thing not made of porcelain, theyre purely static, however to keep form and to also hide the static from everyone Vergo keeps them in gloves.

Took inspiration from Monument Mythos' LINCOLNLOOKER, the Horror Short Film "Goodbye" from ALTER with Kevan Brighting, and Emesis Blue :3

+ small doodle of him and Frederick just bc kdjsfsdkjfh

[cheeseatlantic]

Taking request aye? Ok ok, here me out, literally soap getting all flirty in front of the team... And reader is just... Dosn't know what to do 😭

Lov ur Soap angst <3 Ty!

hey babybell… (with rizz) thanks for the req 😈😈 AND THS K YOUUU i actually cribged so hard at myself after posting thst 😓 but thanks babes!! i also love this request because me myself am like dumb asf when people flirt with me.. enough yappung!!!!

Why is he looking at me? What the fuck? You thought as you stared at Johnny, he’s been acting weird all day. Like all touchy and shit, was there something on your face? You stared back as Gaz blabbed on about some sort of- you didn’t even know, not like you were listening.

“Y/N! Hello? Are you even listening?” And your eyes widened as you turned to him and said. “Yeah I am!” With a swat to his arm as you glared at him and he snorted and hit you back. You rolled your eyes at him, because he was an absolute little shit. You felt Johnny burning holes into the back of your head with his gaze, seriously! You didn’t get a new haircut, do anything different. What was his issue?

You looked at Gaz and he waggled his eyebrows at you before blurting out. “I’m gonna go talk with Ghost about… Vaseline!” Before speed walking off and someone suddenly grabbed your shoulders and you let out an involuntary surprised yelp as you spun around to see Johnny. With those blue fucking eyes, like they were so bright if you stared at him too long your own eyes would hurt.

“Ye look nice today, bonnie.” He said, his arms slithering down your torso to rest on your hips as he pulled you close to him. What the hell was he doing? The team was right there! “Johnny. Get your disgusting, flithy, crusty, nasty paws off me.” You warned, with no bite to your words, getting a low chuckle from him as he tutted you, his grip on your hips tightening slightly.

He leaned down, his lips grazing your ear, making you shiver as you tried to wiggle out of his hold but he kept you in place. “Yer’ skin looks a little too clear, gotta mark it up tonight.” He said, nipping the shell of your ear before soothing the sting with his tongue.

You felt your cheeks heat up as you just stood there, all stiff. Not even noticing the sting of his nip, heat pooled low in your belly as you heard Price chuckle and murmur to Gaz and Ghost “Young love…” And your cheeks felt hotter than the fucking sun.

Johnny’s touch seared and branded your skin, reminding you that you were his as he pecked your cheek suddenly, snapping you out of it as he murmured. “My room, in twenty, lass. Be ready, yeah?” As he swatted your ass, getting a gasp from you as he chuckled and let you go, walking off to Ghost.

Gaz and Price looked at you all smugly, and you wanted to strangle the both of them. Cheeky bastards, what were you supposed to do?! Flirt back? But safe to say you weren’t walking for at least the next week.

heres a random ass recipe for nail oil

1 tsp coconut oil

1 tsp olive oil

half a lime

just.. mix it… ok bye

[cisthoughtcrime]

post pie recipe please!!

London Fog pie recipe under the cut! (basically earl grey custard with a vanilla cream top layer)

Ingredients

4 cups whipping cream

4+ tablespoons powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

10 earl grey tea bags

4 cups whole milk

1 tablespoon vanilla bean paste

0.5 teaspoons salt

8.5 tablespoons cornstarch

1.25 cups sugar

4 large eggs

8 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 pie crusts

Equipment

stand mixer

oven

strainer

whisk

spatula

Instructions

Add 4 cups whole milk to a large pot. Then add the 10 tea bags of earl grey tea to the milk. Turn the heat on to low and bring the milk to a simmer. Be careful not to bring it to a boil as it can easily overflow once boiled. Once the milk starts to simmer, turn off the heat and let it sit for 15-20 minutes.

After waiting the 20 minutes, squeeze the tea bags to extract as much flavor.

Add 1tbsp vanilla bean paste and 0.5 tsp salt to the milk mixture. Turn the heat back onto low to return the mixture to a simmer.

While the milk is heating up, add the cornstarch and sugar to a bowl and whisk to combine. Then add the 4 eggs and whisk once again to combine.

Temper the eggs by slowly adding the heated milk to the egg mixture while continuously whisking.

Then return everything back to the pot and turn the heat to medium, while constantly whisking. The pastry cream will suddenly start to change from a liquid to more of a whipped cream consistency.

Once the pastry cream starts to boil (the custard will start to release bubbles), keep whisking for around 30 more seconds. Then turn off the heat.

Wait 10-15 minutes and then add the butter one tablespoon at a time.

Transfer the pastry cream to a bowl, straining the cream through a metal sieve to get rid of any lumps or loose tea leaves.

Cover with plastic wrap, making sure the plastic is touching the surface of the pastry cream so that a skin does not form.

Refrigerate the pastry cream.

Pour 4 cups of heavy whipping cream into stand mixer bowl.

Add 4+ tablespoons powdered sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract.

Whisk with the stand mixer on medium-high speed until medium peaks forms. Refrigerate the whipped cream and save for later.

After 3-4hrs, take the earl grey pastry cream out of the fridge and use the stand mixer to whisk it well to break it up.

Add half of the whipped cream to the loosened pastry cream and fold the mixture by hand using a spatula, maintaining the light airiness of the whipped cream.

Divide the pastry cream + whipped cream combination equally and fill the two pie shells. Smooth out the cream to create a flat surface.

Divide the remaining whipped cream in half and place evenly on top of the pastry cream.

Refrigerate for a few hours, ideally overnight, then serve!

[cravefoodie]

🌮🍗 Applebee's Chicken Wonton Tacos 🍗🌮

📋 Ingredients:

🐔 Chicken:

2 chicken breasts, finely diced

2 tbsp hoisin sauce

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 tbsp soy sauce

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp minced fresh ginger

🥗 Asian-inspired slaw:

1 bag coleslaw

4 green onions, thinly sliced

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 tbsp rice vinegar

1 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp honey

🌮 For tacos + toppings:

16 Wonton wrappers

Sweet chili sauce, to serve

Chopped cilantro, to serve

Sesame seeds, to serve

📝 Instructions:

1️⃣ Preheat oven to 375 F. Spray wonton wrappers with cooking spray or brush with a bit of olive/canola oil, then drape over the side of a 9×13 baking dish. Bake for 7-8 minutes, watching closely so they don't burn. Take wonton shells out of the oven, then gently pull them apart while they are still pliable so that they are more easily filled with toppings. Bake another 7-8 minutes until crispy.

2️⃣ Mix diced raw chicken in a large bowl with hoisin sauce, sesame oil, soy sauce, garlic, and ginger. Heat a large skillet over high heat and sauté chicken for 7-8 minutes, tossing frequently until cooked through.

3️⃣ Meanwhile, mix ingredients for coleslaw together in a large bowl.

4️⃣ Add chicken mixture to wonton shells, then top with coleslaw, drizzle with sweet chili sauce, and sprinkle with cilantro and sesame seeds. Serve and enjoy!

💡 Notes:

​

◻️ Substitute the chicken breasts for boneless skinless chicken thighs if preferred.

◻️ Make your own sweet chili sauce using a combination of hot sauce and honey for a personalized touch.

◻️ Add in extra toppings like grated carrot or minced mushrooms for more variety.

◻️ For a low-carb option, use lettuce wraps instead of wonton wrappers.

[tripleseptet]

How to make the perfect chocolate chip cookies

Try to impress someone. You need to be shaking with anticipation, you need to be impatient and lose the recipe right before you need to make it. You need to turn over the whole house to find it and then make cookies in the debris.

Whisk 3/4tsp salt and 3/4tsp baking soda into 1 1/2 cups of flour. Spill it on yourself. Do it again, right this time.

Heat 1/2 cup unsalted butter in a saucepan and forget to watch it. You were trying to make brown butter, but now you’ve made burnt butter. Pour it in the trash, start over. She’s worth it. Use salted butter this time because you ran out of unsalted. Brown it perfectly. Pour into a large bowl and put it in the fridge for 10 minutes to cool to room temperature.

Cut 1/4 cup of butter into tiny cubes. You could cut it smaller, but you want them to be warm and ready when she gets here and you don’t want to spend more time waiting. Take the butter out of the fridge a little too early. Stir in the chopped butter.

Once the butter has melted, whisk in 1/4 cup granulated sugar and 1 cup dark brown sugar. Seperate the yolks from two eggs and add them, alongside one whole egg. Fish out the shells. Add 2 tsp vanilla.

Fold the dry mix into the wets. Get rid of any lumps, at least, as best you can when you’re pushed like this. Chop up 170 g of dark chocolate, or use dark chocolate chips. Mix in, then cover and rest in the fridge to hydrate and firm up. It will take more than 10 minutes, but you will get impatient after 8.

Realize you forgot to preheat the oven to 375 F. Shamefully put the cookie dough back in the fridge while you wait. Prep two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Roll the dough into small balls. Measure with your heart, which is thundering harder by the second. The drive is 3 hours, and she left 2 and a half hours ago. Every sound outside the door is her. You want to impress her so badly that it aches.

Put the prepped trays in the freezer for 5 minutes to set up and make sure they don’t spread in the oven. Last time, they did, and you ended up giving her cookie blobs. She didn’t know that you were ashamed of that. She loved them.

Bake for 5 minutes, then flip the trays around. Make sure you burn yourself a little. Bake for 4 more minutes and check them. They’re not done yet. Give them 3 more minutes.

Cool them just as she walks in the door. They won’t go down to room temperature now, because she makes every room so much warmer. You feel something jittering in your chest.

Watch her smile. She says something smells good. You feebly mention the cookies, and she lights up even more, taking one before it’s fully set up. It falls apart in her hands. Imperfect.

She doesn’t care.

The smile spreads across her face, through her body, like water going from a simmer to a rolling boil.

You’re not proud of the cookies, but she makes you want to be. You try them and they’re perfect only when she says they are. Only when you lean your head into her shoulder.