#trying to stay in my bubble a bit with this fandom so again really do appreciate the clarification

[pynkhues]

This last anon mistook the op and the actual new hire. The new writer's assistant is lincodega. And thank god tbh, I got a quick look at this persons account and it's... very questionable lol

https://www.tumblr.com/lincodega/761827609483067392/its-meeeee?source=share

Thank you both for clarifying! I really appreciate it :-)

[towriteloveontheirarms]

New years eve party (modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader, side Alysmond)

synopsis: Every year you and your friend throw a new years eve party for all the singles in your building. When you first invite the new neighbour he declines, only a year later it seems like everything has changed.

warnings: Alys being a bad girlfriend, alcohol, self induldent fluff at the end, afab reader

word count: 2.8k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom/series or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: The year is about to end so happy new year to everyone!

The first time Aemond and you meet, he just moved into the apartment complex, two floors beneath you and your flat mate and best friend. It's late in the year already so you decide to welcome him to the building with some Christmas cookies in hand.

"Hello. I saw you move in here last week and wanted to welcome you to the building." You offer your hand to shake after he opens the door with a questioningly arched eyebrow. Aemond isn't a man of many words you learn quickly.

"Thank you, that's... nice." The platinum blond shakes your hand and takes the cookies from you. "I'm Aemond. Aemond Targaryen. And you are?"

You give him your name. "If you ever need anything, I live two floors above. All you need to do is knock."

Aemond nods curtly.

"Oh and since new years is right around the corner, we always throw a little party for all the singles in the building. You should stop by if you want. We won't bite, I promise." The smile on your face refuses to fade even with his rather cold demeanor.

"Again, thank you, but..." A feminine voice interrupts him.

"Aemond, love, who is there?" The woman who the voice belongs to appears in the door frame as well. Holding onto your new neighbors arm almost possessively.

"Hi, I'm your new neighbor from two floors above. I just wanted to introduce myself real quick and bring over some cookies." You state. Your smile falters a bit as you see the gorgeous dark haired woman.

"Well, you did that now, didn't you? We still have lots to unpack so you'll have to excuse us." She says in a clearly faked friendly tone that hides nothing of her words true meaning. To stay away from both of them.

"Sure. I'm sorry for bothering you in the middle of moving. How silly of me. Have a nice day." You give them a small wave and go back to your apartment.

You couldn't lie to yourself about the disappointment you felt at the sight of Aemond's girlfriend, but he was attractive so was it really a surprise he wasn't single? You shake your head to get rid of those thoughts when a key turns in the door.

"I'm home!" Sarah calls out as the sound of her keys hitting the ceramic bowl sounds through the apartment.

"I'm in the living room." You answer back.

"Hey, how was your day?" She asks with a relaxed smile.

"Same old, same old." You mutter, still kinda in thought.

Together you go to the kitchen to cook, like every night, when you decide to speak up about what happened.

"Have you met the neighbors from two floors down yet?" Curiosity coats your tone as you try to remain nonchalant.

"I thought it was only one. That weird, blond guy. I've seen him around once or twice." Sarah busies herself by stirring in one of the pots.

"Yeah him and his girlfriend. I went to welcome him today and she was really possessive and borderline bitchy. Like, she couldn't get me out of their bubble again fast enough. Didn't even give me her name." Your eyebrows furrow and your nose scrunches up slightly at the memory.

"Maybe she felt threatened by you?" Sarah chuckles and then a moment of silence follows. "Now that you mention her though... I did hear a woman yelling on my way up here earlier."

That´s the end of the topic for then as the two of you change to lighter topics of conversation.

However, the strangers keep occupying your mind. After Sarah tells you about the altercation, you hear them on and off as well, only to see them madly in love the next time you saw them.

New year’s eve passes and so does Sarah´s and your party. The night going by as eventless as it could. Probably because everyone is drunk off their tits, but when you wake up in bed next to one of your neighbors, you just feel bad. You couldn´t even put your finger on what exactly made you feel this way. It just feels wrong. Okay that wasn't entirely right. If you were just a little more honest with yourself you would know that it was because your brain had decided to spend its free time romanticizing the idea of Aemond and how it would be to be in a relationship not only in general, but with him. Dreaming of him wasn't a rare occurrence and whenever you met him at the mailbox, you could feel yourself blushing as if you were in middle school. Simultaneously not far from you, as the months progressed, Aemond's relationship deteriorated more and more. Alys had grown gradually more jealous and toxic to a point where even he couldn't excuse her behavior anymore. Which hurt more than he would ever want to admit. The two break up and make up almost regularly. The day she tells him she is pregnant however, is the day things escalate. You hear the fight even in your apartment. There's screaming, slamming doors and after about an hour there's complete silence.

Like the good (and slightly worried) neighbor that you are, you make your way down the stairs, knocking quietly on the hard wood.

In a matter of seconds the door gets opened with a rather energetic and aggressive motion.

"Alys, I told you it's..." Aemond growled until he realized it is you who had knocked and not his ex-girlfriend. "Fuck, sorry. I didn't realize we were that loud. I promise it won't happen again."

"No, it's... It's alright. It sounded bad though. Are you good?" Your eyes soften and scan his presence.

The knuckles of his right hand were pressed into an ice pack, his chest heaves with every sharp breath. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, before he answers.

"Yeah, I mean no, but yeah." His one seeing eye drops towards the floor, unable to look at you. It's obvious he doesn't want to talk and you are not one to pry for answers, so you leave it.

"Okay. Um, if you need something, anything. You know where to knock." You give Aemond a sympathetic smile.

Against all your hopes, he actually does knock on your door a week or so later. Granted it is only for some eggs, but still. A win is a win, you tell yourself as you hand him the carton with the eggs he had requested.

"Fuck, thank you. Really. I don't know where my head is these days." Aemond scratches the back of his neck, giving you a perfect peak of his boxers underneath the grey sweatpants. He must've just come from his morning run.

"No problem at all. I did tell you that you could ask for anything if you needed it after all." You assure him.

"Hm, you did. Still... You'll definitely get those back."

Before much more of a conversation can start up, he is gone again. A pattern that continues for the next couple of months, even though he does warm up to you noticeably without Alys´ influence around. Going as far as to even give a small smile here and there. What shocks you the most however, is when he stops you by the mailbox one day close to the beginning of December.

“So, uhm, I know it´s still a while until new year’s, but I just remembered that you told me about this party you and Sarah have every year.”

“Yeah, what about it?” You look up from the mail to meet his eye and tilt your head.

“I was wondering if that invitation still stands by chance?” His brow is furrowed and his tongue swipes out to wet his lips.

Aemond's question makes your heart beat faster. "Of course. Definitely. I'd be happy to see you there." A wide smile spreads your lips.

From previous talks you had gathered that the blond wasn't much of a party animal, but then again neither were you.

“We usually start around eight, but it´s all very relaxed, really.” You inform him and then say your goodbye as the two of you reach his door.

Until the day of the party the two of you only see each other in passing. Giving a quick nod or wave and a smile to the other as you made your way wherever you had to be. Even the evening of it feels like you are constantly running around. Between preparing snacks and drinks, greeting people left and right, refilling stuff and taking shots and dancing with Sarah there wasn't a single moment to chill, before the doorbell rings one final time for the evening.

"Aem! You made it!" You call out happily and as his eye meets yours he witnesses your face lighting up visibly. The nickname for sure is a surprise at first, but taking in the scent of alcohol in your breath, it all checks out. Still it gets his heart to beat faster, before he can answer anything you already pull him inside. The shots Sarah had made you do, made you even more high energy than you usually were. Yet the moment you take his hand to pull him inside, you feel a strange, warm calm run through you follows by a shiver down the spine.

"You almost had me scared you forgot about me." You tease as the two of you sit down on the sofa with a drink in hand.

"I could never forget about you, but my brother called and tried to convince me to go to some party at some stupid club. Let's just say he was never the best at accepting the word no."

"Oh, you have a brother?" Your eyebrows rise so far Aemond is certainly convinced they are about to touch your hair line.

"Yeah. Two brothers actually and a sister." He admits.

"Wow and are you close with them?" As an only child you could only hardly understand what it was like to have siblings. Even if Sarah had tried to explain it to you multiple times.

"We're as close as we can be, I'd say."

"Huh, for some reason I always pegged you to be an only child..."

"How's that?" He asks while the two of you sip on your drinks, lost in the conversation.

"I don't know, probably because of your dark and mysterious brooding nature?” Playfully you pull your chin higher. “Anyway, now that you are here, do you want to dance?”

“How could I ever say no to that question…”

Over the declining bass of the music, a soft knock on the bathroom door echoes through the room. You hadn´t even noticed someone turning down the music It could have been minutes or hours since you entered the room for all you knew. Aemond´s voice calling out directly after. With a groan you lift your head off the cold tiles on the floor. "It's open...” The blond steps in and closes the door behind him immediately so noone else would see you in that state. Curled up on the floor with your forehead resting against the cold tiles in an attempt to cool down and fight the nausea that climbs up your throat. "Oh I'm dreaming of you again." Your speech is slurred and quiet as if talking any louder would make you vomit. "If I wouldn't be dreaming and if you would be really here, then I would tell you I love you." "You're drunk." He murmurs and shakes his head. "Yes. And hopelessly in love with you." You argue with a weak voice. Nevertheless you wrap your arms tightly around him as he picks you up off the floor. There is no lying about the state of inebriation you are in, but the conviction with which you speak also tells that you are speaking the truth. Even though he doesn't want to believe it yet. "Come on, let's get you to bed." Aemond sighs and begins to more or less carry you back to your room. "No..." You whine in protest. "I wanna go back to the party. I'm not even tired yet. Let's dance."

You're like a child, the blond thinks as he rolls his eyes. "No. No more dancing tonight. The party is over, it's bedtime now." "Awww come on, Aem..." You give him your best try at a puppy eyes look, which is only half successful. Ending up more as just a pout.

Aemond´s heart beats faster at the nickname once again. Something it had done quite often in the past months whenever he saw or spoke to you he notices. Gods, he can hear his brothers laugh at him for being like this when it came to emotional matters. He doubted the excuse of Alys having fucked him up in that regard was applicable, when you where so different from her. Carefully Aemond lays you down on your bed. Taking the shoes off your already half asleep form. By the time Aemond pulls the blanket over you, the sound of soft snoring already fills the room.

The next morning you wake up alone, fully dressed, with a massive headache, a bottle of water and a note on the bedside table for the first time in a while. Telling yourself that this was exactly the reason why you never drank and swearing to every deity above or below that it would never happen again. Groaning some more at the brightness that streams through the window, you sit up in bed to take a sip of water and the pain killer right beside it. With the cotton mouth successfully fought off, you turn to the note. Wondering where the paper even came from you notice how neat and pretty the curly letters are written. The name of the addresser jumps into your eyes next. Signed at the bottom. Aemond Targaryen. As you read his name, your eyes eagerly jump to the top of the page.

I hope this note finds you well and the pain killers help any hangover you might take away from last night. I had a lot of fun with you. Also, you snore when you sleep.

Aemond Targaryen

“Fuck…” You curse under your breath. Trying to remember last night makes the headache only worse, but at least there are no gaps in your memory. Left with the memory of the blond helping your drunk self into bed, you decide to apologize to him. Freshening up and putting on some comfortable clothes, you climb down the stairs in the evening.

“Come in.” Aemond greets you with a smile as he sees the way you flinch ever so slightly at a door slamming shut somewhere.

“Thanks.” Gratefully you sit in his living room, while Aemond gets you a cup of coffee. “I- uhm, I came to apologize for last night.”

“For what?” His brows furrow together so much they almost become one.

“For getting so drunk that you had to carry me to bed. I usually am not like this at all.” Regret laces your words.

“Oh, that. Don´t sweat it. I´m kind of used to it and I still had a lot of fun.” Aemond assures immediately, but it does little to reduce the shame at your own behaviour.

“No, no. Even if you are used to it, I shouldn´t have done that. It was so stupid and unfair to you.” You lay your forehead into one hand and sigh.

“Why did you even drink so much in the first place?” He inquires.

“I kind of wanted to ask you out… but then when I threatened to chicken out so Sarah told me to drink something for courage and somewhere something became a little more and then we ended where we ended.” You feel your face begin to burn at the admission.

“You wanted to what?” A soft pink flush lays over his cheeks.

“I wanted to ask you out…” You repeat even quieter than before.

“Well, you could still do that, if you so wish to.” Your heart threatens to beat out of your ribcage as you take in his words.

Your eyes grow wide and your lips part as you look back up at him. Stumbling over your words for a while before you get out a clear sentence. “Would you like to go out with me sometime?”

“Yes, I´d like that very much. There is a new restaurant that I´ve been meaning to try out. Maybe I could pick you up in an hour?” The request makes you happier than anything. Overshadowing any of the shame you had felt previously.

“Yes, oh my god absolutely.” You jump up in a flurry of excitement, that entirely chases off the remnants of hangover. “Just give me an hour.”

The smiles on both of your faces grow incredibly big, reaching your eyes for the first time in a long time. When you go, it is so hastily you have to be careful not to fall up the stairs and even Aemond feels a certain type of happy as he changes into something more fitting with his heart skipping in his chest.

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 [𝐀𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢]

Part 1

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Pairings: yandere!Argenti x fem!reader

Warnings: yandere, abduction, mention of suicide.

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

I didn't think that I would ever write a sequel and thought that the last work with Argenti was complete, but here I am (¬‿¬ )

art: @oririnxx(Twitter)

Argenti's heart is bursting with guilt and shame. Even in the short time that mutual understanding and love reigned between you, he managed to establish himself as a person who can really be trusted. His feelings and thoughts were always so pure, almost transparent, and you were never in doubt for a moment. Even when he decided on such a desperate act.

You know his house is your house, right? Probably so, since you without hesitation, although sighing heavily, but agreed to go to him, without even asking what exactly he wanted from you. You can always find warmth, care and understanding here, if necessary.

But this time you will find here only the remains of Argenti's conscience. He feels the rot getting deeper into his unscrupulous heart with each new second of waiting. How could everything have gone so far? How could his unconditional adoration and desire to make you happy be perverted to such an extent that he really decided to make you love him?

No, no. You have already loved him before, which means he does not force you, Argenti only… He is trying to awaken in you the old feelings, the seeds of which, he is sure, are still able to bloom again with velvet roses, the fragrance of which will immerse you in the same blissful haze as his.

Oh, you should know how he is tormented. Even when you are already standing on the threshold of his house, he just wants to take you in his arms and never let go, but he plays his role of a heartbroken person who now needs your support. But does he play? You really broke Argenti's heart, but he reassembled every tiny fragment so that the vessel would be filled again with awe and tenderness addressed only to you.

You, of course, can't leave him in this state, even if you caused it yourself. It's so mean to play on your guilt, but what choice does he have? You no longer look at him the way you did in the days when you both didn't mind being in this isolated bubble of love from the rest of the world, focused only on each other. You no longer touch his hand with tenderness, now your fingers are anxiously clenched around Argenti's palm to comfort. You no longer run your tiny fingers through his soft hair, letting the man's head rest on your lap, no longer smile at him with a sincere, really saturated with absolute happiness smile.

Why is that?

If you were happy, why is that no longer the case?

Argenti can't even admit the idea that there is even the slightest bit of your fault in what happened. Of course, it's his fault, so he's ready to sacrifice his own conscience, ready to disregard principles, and all this for you.

The knight seems to be looking at his own reflection in a mirror, in which he sees all the vices that have always been hidden so imperceptibly in the depths of his soul. He only has to touch such a disgusting Argenti reflection of the desires of his own heart, and there will be no turning back.

"For you… just for you…"

For your sake, he is ready to let the darkness completely take over his mind and body.

You are so naively kind, agreeing to stay at his house for the night. You probably haven't had time to enter into a relationship with someone else yet, which Argenti so vehemently prevented, and, he believes, it really paid off.

Yes, that's it, look at him, stay with him, share this bitterness with him, so that together you can drown it out with the sweet taste of reunion, which you also want.

Surely you do, because otherwise you wouldn't have come to him, wouldn't have followed the call of your heart when he needed you so much. You're still worried about Argenti, you still don't want to see him so broken, you're still gentle with him even when you let your relationship turn to dust. Oh, no matter how hard it was for him to admit it, you crushed them yourself. Argenti still doesn't understand what made you commit this unforgivable crime.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

The knight will ban any doors for you, whether it's the doors to the outside world from your new bubble or the doors to a new life in which he has no place. He is ready to accept your tears, ready to accept the words that wound him like a thousand blades that cut his heart. Now he is defamed, spoiled and deserved punishment for what he did. But it was the only way he could put everything back in its place.

What are you going to do, cornered? Oh, of course you're angry.

You curse him, beg him, cry, even lie about what you love. Argenti understands why you're acting like this and won't blame you. You are connected, of course, connected. The darkness that has taken root in the purity of his feelings has affected you, but together you will be able to share this burden. It may take days, weeks, or even years for you to accept what has become of you, but Argenti believes that in the end you will understand that this test is presented from above to both of you in order to strengthen your love.

✧ ✧ ✧

It hurts him to look at how nothing has changed after weeks.

It was stupid to think that you would be able to understand him so soon, but Argenti does not lose hope.

Although, something has changed… He no longer hears your screams, you are no longer banging on the door, desperately trying to get out, no longer crying. Now you look like an empty shell, devoid of any feelings. It scares Argenti so much, but he understands that this is how it should be. You have to get rid of what prevents you from loving him again. Anger, disgust, contempt, hatred — that's what the Knight fights day by day, steadfastly withstanding your attacks, and finally he got rid of most of the obstacles.

— Y/N, forgive me…

"You're not really sorry"

— I'm doing this for you…

"No, you're doing it for yourself"

— I'd do anything for you.

"Then just kill me"

— I love you…

"And I hate you"

Now you're silent when Argenti tries to talk to you. His perfect face, which makes you sick, is always distorted in remorse, and it seems that he really believes that he is sorry. But you know very well that this is not the case.

Most of all, you hate the moments when Argenti insists on helping you take a bath. Bile rises in your throat every time his hands touch your body, but you endure, swallowing the nauseating lump again and again, realizing that you have no choice. You always take one look at him while he gently soaps your skin, noticing how his lips are stretched in a smile, and turn away again, not wanting to see how your disgust for some reason brings him pleasure.

You trusted Argenti.

You always believed that his feelings were really sincere, so he would be able to understand and let you go, but now you were able to look behind the exquisite screen of love, hiding the slippery, stinking and rotting obsession that the man you once loved succumbed to.

Now you feel sorry for Argenti.

Really sorry.

If it weren't for the hatred that dulls all other feelings, you would want to grab his hand and lead him away from the wrong path that he chose, mistakenly believing that it would lead him to happiness. But, to your great regret, he dragged you after him. No matter how much he tries to cleanse your body, your soul rots along with his, soaked in the disgusting fumes of his mutilated care and tenderness, with which he tries to regain something that will never regain its former form.

✧ ✧ ✧

— Y/N, you haven't eaten all day… I brought your portion of dinner.

Argenti is standing in the doorway of your luxurious room, which he has filled with everything he knows you love, believing that it will make you stop hating this place. You don't want to meet his eyes, and you press your knees even harder to your chest, huddling in a corner on your soft bed.

The knight feels his heart constrict in his chest. It happens every day, every time you turn away from him. He wants so much to see your eyes looking into his for once, he wants to hear your voice, but he must be patient.

You hear footsteps approaching and already know what will happen next. Argenti will put the plate on the bedside table and leave you alone, as he does every day. No matter how much you want to stop it, sometimes your stomach is so unbearably twisted with hunger that you can't resist the instinct of self-preservation and force yourself to eat a little. But not today.

— Y/N… — this is something new. You feel it touching your shoulder, sending a sickening shiver under your skin. — I know you don't want to be here, but can you… at least have dinner with me tonight? I promise, if we sit down at the same table, like… — he wanted to say "like before", but suddenly stopped. — Your appetite will return if you share a meal with someone.

How annoying he is. Is he really that naive, or is it just a mask to lull your vigilance. You don't know anymore. You have long ceased to recognize in Argenti the one you once loved.

But you know for sure that the sooner you fulfill his request, the sooner he will leave you alone. At least until tomorrow.

That's why you let him wash you, let him dress you in beautiful outfits that he likes. Not you.

You nod reluctantly, still not moving from your seat, and you hear Argenti exhale softly in relief. If you had dared to look at him, his soft lips would surely have been stretched into a satisfied smile when he received an answer from you.

You wait for the nausea from his touch to finally recede along with the feeling of his hand on your shoulder, and you get out of bed in a doomed way, hearing Argenti take the plate from the table and go to the kitchen.

No matter how much you wandered through the corridors of his luxurious house like a living corpse, it always seemed to you that the walls were about to crush you, but, unfortunately, this never happened, so after tasting a new portion of disappointment, you stop at the kitchen door, noticing a candle on the table, whose dim light drives away the darkness rooms, two glasses of wine and two plates, displayed on exquisite snow-white napkins. Argenti stands waiting, pulling out a chair for you. Your gaze stops for a moment on his hands clutching the back, and the body again gets chilling goosebumps when memories of those hands touching your body pop up in your head.

He really did his best to make this dinner look like a fucking date. It's so disgusting that it almost makes you laugh.

You reluctantly accept Argenti's help, sitting down uncertainly and allowing him to pull your chair closer to the table designed for two.

The meat on the plate is still steaming slightly, as are the shiny grilled vegetables. The food looks delicious, but … for some reason, bile rises to your throat again when you take a fork and knife with trembling hands, preparing to pierce and cut off a juicy piece of your dinner.

Argenti watches with curiosity how you do not dare to try your portion without starting to eat before you do. To be honest, the Knight loses his appetite when he sees you so depressed, not trusting him so much that you are even afraid to eat in his presence. Do you really think he means you harm? Can't you see how hard he's trying for you? Even so, he's glad to finally see you taking even tiny steps towards him.

It's all so much like hunting. Argenti has created an atmosphere of security in your bubble, but has set traps here and there, patiently waiting for you to finally take the bait. He knows you can't hate him forever. Sooner or later you'll have to give up, you'll have to get used to a new life with him.

You hesitantly pierce the meat with a fork, watching the soft fibers displace the juices flowing onto the plate before nervously swallowing and starting to cut. Thoughts immediately flash through your head about how convenient it would be to use this knife to slit your stomach or cut your throat… Yes, it would certainly be better than opening your veins, because then Argenti could still have time to save you. You can see your own blood trickling down the shiny silver metal, instead of the cloudy pinkish liquid oozing out of the steak as you slowly separate a tiny piece from it.

These thoughts… really discourage your appetite, but that's all you can think about while you're here. What's the point of satisfying your hunger if you just want to get it over with? But you also have to play your part, you have to be smarter than Argenti, you have to set your traps, so you touch the meat with your tongue, feeling a slight taste of spices, before sinking your teeth into the juicy fibers and chewing, hurriedly sending a piece down the esophagus.

Argenti is delighted.

Although the corner of your lips twitched when you swallowed a piece of your dinner, he is pleased to see that you are finally eating a warm meal prepared for you with love and care. Usually you just wait for the food to cool down, stubbornly denying hunger before it finally gets the better of you. Argenti has always been frustrated by how you exhaust yourself day by day, but it would be too much to force food cooked by him into you, right?

The knight was finally able to relax, and happily started his own meal, doing the same thing with his piece of steak as you. After tasting the meat cooked for you, Argenti smiles gently.

— Is it delicious? — the man asks, but then with a quiet clink puts the dishes on the plate, seeming to think about something for a second. Of course you won't answer. — I hope I was able to please you a little, Y/N.

He was about to continue his meal, gently wrapping his long fingers around the stem of a wine glass, when suddenly his gaze caught on your frozen figure. Your gaze is focused on the next piece of meat. The silence in the kitchen is broken only by the soft sounds of pinkish drops of juice dripping onto your plate before your lips are pursed, but then hurriedly open when you finally lift your head for the first time in several weeks and look straight into Argenti's emerald eyes. Your piercing gaze seems to have pinned the Knight to the chair, and he watches with bated breath as you take air into your lungs. Your chest heaves slightly with a light breath, and the man's heart shudders.

— Yes… very tasty, thank you.

To hear your voice… oh, you're just killing poor Argenti. During your imprisonment in his house, you managed to teach him to enjoy such little things that he did not attach any importance to before. Your views on him have always seemed to the Knight something as ordinary as the sound of your voice caressing his ears every day spent with you. But now he was so happy to hear even the words you barely uttered.

Argenti will even turn a blind eye to the fact that you did it just to distract his attention.

Did you really think that he didn't notice how you stole a knife from the table with a skill that the best of thieves would envy? Well… he won't scold you for it. You don't know what's best for you, only he knows, so Argenti will definitely protect you from any threats.

But later.

For now, just let him enjoy this moment. Even if it's an illusion, even if it's a lie, even if he invented it all himself, Argenti wants to believe that you took a small step towards him, and this…

Damn. Now his patience is trembling, being held suspended by the thinnest thread that is about to break.

You won't hate him even more if his retaliatory step completely erases the distance separating you from each other, will you?

[ourbeloved1011]

Grow tf up. It's been 4 years since that show finished. Yibo even removed it from his bio. Theres nothing wrong with liking a show but insisting on some delusional rpf that's harming actual people??

Hi Anon,

Thanks for spending your precious time dropping by & bravely leaving your not-so-kind comments anonymously (or should I say nasty & harsh for telling me to grow tf up) when this is OBVIOUSLY a fan blog dedicated to Yizhan. It's like you're knocking someone's door uninvited & forcing yourself to rudely barge in.

Well, there must be a good reason on why I've been purposely not hashtag individual artists' names in my posts & include only related tags & mention 'this is just my personal thoughts, CPN' to STAY IN MY OWN LANE - in my own bubble & space. This is to avoid from being discovered by people who's trying to 'start something' & serve as my own effort to protect the artists from being harmed by my words. I really despise unnecessary conflicts right when I've made myself clear on my dashboard that this is a shipper blog.

In simpler words, if you don't like it, it's not my problem. No one asked for your opinion, anon. You've got the wrong place to begin with. However, since you've dropped me an ask, let me enlighten you at the very least.

Before I start, here's some of translated versions of Xiao zhan's personal statement after the incident (which I refuse to elaborate more):

"Everyone has their own choices and freedom of expression. No matter if you like me or you hate, it's your personal right. Passion should be the source of strength for everyone. I hope that this passion doesn't exhaust or harm anyone."

You can read the rest of his statement in my recent reblog or here: https://www.tumblr.com/ourbeloved1011/723921396167819264/xiao-zhans-previous-personal-statement?source=share

Here's my personal thoughts, again, CPN.

I couldn't agree more. It's crucial for everyone to take his words seriously and it's my wish to be what he wished for. I admire, respect & support both xiao zhan & yibo whole-heartedly. It's not fair for you to judge & say that this isn't fan love.

Bjyx is a fandom made up of different individuals. Not only bjyx, any fandom or group of people in this world will have the same concept.

Now, let's talk about generalization.

You can't simply generalize a group or fandom & labelling them as a whole harmful existence. Every fandom has their own good & toxic fans. You don't have any control over that. Surely, all kind of people exist in bjyx BUT same goes with solo fans. There's no exception.

It's like labelling the whole Wen clan as evil when you know very well that Wen Ning and Wen Qing aren't the same kind. In fact, they are Jiang clan's life savior. It's totally unfair.

"You should punish the people who bit you. Wen Qing & Wen Ning have never gotten their hands on anything bloody. Or do you want to execute a collective punishment?!" -The Untamed, Wei Wuxian-

Why do you need to be the exact same way as Jin's clan judgmental behavior? We never learn, we've been here before. I won't take any sides on which fandom need to be banned or which one is the 'real' supporter. Collective stereotype will never be the final answer.

I see two people in everyone. There's no point in proving this.

However, I do believe in one same group commonality. If you continuously act excessively, intentionally crossing all the boundary of morality & bring harm to others, you will belong to TOXIC FAN and ANTIs regardless of where you come from- either you are a bjyx fan or solo. I will not support any act of sexualizing & harassment behavior towards them. There's always a limit, visible lines & common sense to conduct & follow. Sadly, EXTREMISTs do exist everywhere.

Just like what xz been telling us, it's your personal right as long as your passion doesn't harm others. Joining bjyx is our right & passion to support them in our own way. Doesn't mean that you've the right to speak up or write anything that you see as 'the right way', you also have the right to blatantly disregard those who don't share the same view as yours. That's why the word RESPECT is there in life dictionary. Otherwise, human can't co-exist this long.

If you don't have anything good to say, you can just remain silent. If you can't accept & respect, just stay away & ignore. It's that simple.

I don't understand why people needlessly hurting others with their unnecessary hurtful choice of words that can leave permanent scars to others. I personally feel sorry for these people. I don't get it. I really want to understand- what's the real reason for you to be so mean & harsh & hateful? For example, telling people to grow tf up. Who are you to judge? I'm just chilling with myself without causing trouble to others.

In bjyx point of view, we just adore & admire the beautiful & deep connection that both of these guys have. It's rare to have someone that you can click so well instantly in life. We wish to support them against all the odd. That's all.

Ironically, people who freely generalize about other groups get upset & butthurt if someone generalizes about a group that they belong to. The thing is - everyone is an independent individual & fully responsible for their own actions.This is why it's important to mind our own business & stay in our own lane.

Back to your statement. Delusional fans. I'm not actually delusional. I'm very self-aware as a person. In fact, I started as someone who's neutral. It's for my own self-satisfaction to feed my curiosity. I've always been the kind that will find & dig further to know something better. It's my personal trait. I'm not blindly being a delusional fan without basis and accept every rumors I heard about them. I do observations, selectively choosing, analyzing & eventually come to a conclusion. So here I am.

If you claim us to be delusional, you can say whatever you want because your opinion doesn't represent or reflect us. Just a side note, I don't agree with those fans who are intentionally keep overanalyzing these two with every single thing they do each time. People may get annoyed by it. I can see where it's coming from. They are two different individuals with distinct originality & identity. Hence, I only believe in whatever solid reasons I personally chose & filtered to trust.

It's not my job to convince you that they're real & it's not your job to judge, raise doubts & throw hateful comments in what I believed in. No need to make others feel bad & depressed further with your painful remarks. This world is cruel enough to live in. We don't need to be liked but respecting us is not an option. Be kind.

Yes. Yibo removed it from his bio. So what? To be honest, I don't really care much about it. Friendly reminder. He removed not only the untamed but he removed ALL his dramas. Seriously, I don't see any issue. If anything, I would be grateful to Yibo for keeping the untamed there for so long.

Let me remind you of the scene where wei weixuan is forced into a situation with practicing demonic cultivation is his only option to protect himself & survive. Again, everyone is being so judgmental towards him, only to find out later- the real reason why he chose that path. My point is, don't assume something as if we know everything. Anything people put out to share is calculated. You're allowed to see things that they ONLY ALLOW you to see.

What do you mean by these shippers harming actual people? There are plenty pictures everywhere during Yuehua concert, the whole arena was mostly filled with bjyx fans led lights, yellow, green & red- all coming to support Yibo. Not only concert, they've been continuously supporting both of them in other projects and events in the past until today.

'True' fans won't bring any harm to the artist no matter how good their intention is. Boycotting isn't the answer. It brings more damaged to the artist than good.

Tell me. Who's gonna be there if it's not for them?

Credits to respective owners. I don't own anything.

Yibo. Did they really bring harm to you?

Credits to respective pic owners.

Really? What were you looking at?

Credits to respective pic owners.

Few things to ponder:

If either xiao zhan or yibo hates bjyx & don't want any fans to associate them with each other, they would've addressed this many years ago to stop. Like how they made clear stand to some of other cps & supertopics. If you ask me for proof, again, you can just find them through my reblog posts. You can easily see them right away. That is, if you really care to read & bother to know.

Let me use back your words- It's been 4 years since the show finished- but the fandom is still standing strong & able to fill in the whole arena. Just to highlight, xiao zhan & yibo have zero public interaction together since the past few years but the numbers of new bjyx fan is still continue growing until today. The irony. How is this possible? For what reason? The normal cp fandom will eventually dies down once the main actors moving to the new project in the same year. Do you ever wonder what's the reason behind this fandom to stay this long for years? Both of them don't have any same project, no collaboration together. No promotion. Literally nothing. Then how? Funny isn't it?

It still remains mystery to think of why until today, xz & yibo never clarify & make statements to clear the air that they are just close friends. They can easily shut down the fandom in one go. Doesn't it bother you to be shipped with your own close friend for years if it's not the case? Well I do.

Also, why bjyx fans were not banned from entering the venue? Why their banners & led lights were allowed to go in? This is a sign that the existence of this fandom has never been denied. Or wait. Has this bjyx fandom been acknowledged indirectly?

People may find comfort in stanning both of them. Probably, it's the only source of joy in life to some. We never know. Don't be such an asshole trying to kill it. Spread love. Not hate.

Thanks anon for giving me the opportunity to rant :)

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

phew, ok gonna just ramble for a minute! for the last couple of days i've been getting so caught up in my milex feelings and the letdown after the anticipation that i almost forgot to be properly excited for this trip 🙈 but now that i'm actually in dublin, after listening to arctic monkeys and miles tunes on the flight and getting hyped about seeing my one of my best irl friends from london again for the first time since june, it's much easier for me to put things in perspective, thank goodness!! i'd have kicked myself later if i spent my time here moping (which i've kind of been doing these past two days) instead of being excited about getting to see my all time favourite band play again (twice!!) AND with miles as well, and just have a fun trip with my friends in dublin (even though it'll be raining cats and dogs, but we'll be in the pub most of the time anyway 🍻)

after the london gig in june i really thought that was it for a couple of years, so to have been given this extra opportunity to see them again so soon is insane and an absolute blessing. i'm SO fucking excited, i can't even tell you 😭 these will be my 8th and 9th arctic monkeys gigs to date, and i'm still just as hyped as i was 10 years ago, and i think that's worth reflecting on for a minute ❤️

i'm putting some more musings about the milex situation under the cut for anyone who might be interested in a different perspective, but mostly it's just for me, to be able to untangle the mess that my mind has been in these past few days. also, please know that i'm definitely not trying to invalidate anyone's concerns or diminish anyone's feelings, because lord knows i've been feeling all the things the past few days and all those feelings are very (very) real!

i guess what i just keep coming back to is the fact that arctic monkeys (or alex, really, lbr) asked miles to be the support for these four dates when they absolutely didn't have to do that, and that if there was any bad blood between them then they totally could've asked anyone else. but they didn't, they asked miles! and miles agreed! it's much more likely that the fact that they're not playing together is due to logistics (with the orchestra and limited rehearsal time) and wanting to highlight miles's new album than any personal reasons tbh. they're professionals doing their jobs first and foremost, and while obviously we'd love a display of sentimentality, if that doesn't fit the show for whatever reason then it makes sense they don't give us that. i'm sure it's all been discussed and agreed on between them, and that they're doing perfectly fine behind the scenes. it's true that miles shows us a lot of himself, but alex and the other boys do not, so it also makes sense to me that what miles shares about them/their interactions with him is limited too, much as i'd love to see him gush about them and post bts footage. i always find that i get easily swept up in emotions and conjecture when i'm watching things unfold from a distance, through the tumblr/fandom lens, but i forget sometimes that that is a heavily coloured lens, and that real life is often very different, despite what social media etc. may seem to show. and for me personally, i've noticed that sometimes it's really good to break out of the bubble for a bit and see things from a different perspective, so i'm glad i was able to do that before my shows!

also, on a side note, i've seen some people being disappointed that alex didn't dedicate bodypaint to miles but just gave him a shoutout, but to me the distinction doesn't matter too much. he mentioned miles when he didn't have to, and miles stayed to watch the boys do their thing after his own set, and he didn't have to do that either if he wasn't feeling it. the fact is that recently there have been more and more signs that our boys are actually growing closer again than they seemingly have been for a few years, and while obviously i just want them to give us everything and announce a tlsp reunion and also profess their undying love for each other while they're at it, maybe their doing what they can right now, and they just need a bit more time to get to where they once were. we all need time to heal, or something like that, anyway. i obviously don't know anything, but this possiblity seems just as if not more likely to me than the other option (which would be that any of this is a sign they're growing further apart, instead), so i'm good with that for the moment.

anyway, this is just me talking to myself on the plane and creating some perspective for myself, but maybe someone else might find it helpful too, who knows. in any case, i'm going to do my best to enjoy it all to the fullest!! and while obviously getting to see them do something together would be brilliant, it would just be the cherry on an otherwise already really fucking delicious cake ❤️

[klbwriting]

Who Am I Really?

Chapter 4

Fandom: Aquaman

Pairing: Ormxfemale!Reader

Warnings: some child abuse

Summary: Orm and YN settle in with each other more and Orm remembers something from his past

Notes: comments/critiques appreciated!

Orm and YN spent the next few weeks getting to know each other, getting used to each other. Orm noticed that YN was not the type to let a message sit there, she had to answer it right away, but she could let a mess wait if it wasn’t going to cause damage. She had a routine, shelter until almost dark, come back to the house, eat, and let the dishes sit in the sink for awhile before they did them together. Orm started to try and figure out ways to help around the house. Some mornings when she went to the shelter he would stay back and tidy up, wanting to earn his keep there since he felt useless most of the time. Or maybe if there weren’t a lot of volunteers that day, he would pick up the dog walking slack so that YN could do paperwork. YN noticed what he was doing and appreciated it.

“You know you don’t have to do so much Orm,” she said one day as he started cooking dinner. He had become interested in cooking on their first evening in and now he was practicing the basics of pasta. Salt the water, boil it, pasta in, heat the sauce, save some pasta water, drain it, put it and water in sauce, mix, it was soothing to think about and do the steps in order. Then, after it was all done, you had something that not only tasted good but sustained life. What honestly could be better than that? Orm didn’t know why he felt like he needed to redeem himself for something, prove that he could be a good person, but he did. So here he was, helping this one person to clean, take care of the animals, learning to keep her alive, it felt like he was atoning for something, just a little. And he liked it.

“I know, but you do so much, I want to make sure that I earn my place,” he said. That was another thing that was creeping in more as the time went by. His need to earn something. He, again, didn’t know what, but he had to earn it. Earn the bed she let him sleep in, the food she let him eat, the clothes she bought him, her friendship, her love… He stopped there and looked at her as he heard the timer go off. YN smiled as she got up and went to the wall oven. She pulled out two loaves of fresh baked bread and set them to cool. She had made another two loaves already, saying she liked to prep and have homemade bread all week.

“Orm,” she said, coming over to him and turning him to face her. He looked down at her, trying to place the look in her eyes when she spoke to him. God, he wished he remembered what things meant, remembered himself, remembered how to tell what a person was feeling and thinking. He knew that once; he was sure of it. He couldn’t have been this clueless all the time. “Listen to me, are you listening?”

“Yes, I am listening,” he said with a smile. She smiled back and his heart jumped.

“You don’t have to earn your place on this planet. You exist, and your existence is wonderful, its miraculous, you are pure stardust in a human form,” she said. “And so am I, we are all on the planet to bring life to it, not to do a specific job or to have some grand purpose. Just living is purpose enough.” Orm stared at her, and she stared back. She was telling the truth; this time he could tell. “Thank you,” he whispered. She smiled and touched his cheek, he leaned into the feeling of her hand.

“You might want to check that sauce though,” she teased. He looked and saw it was starting to bubble too much so he turned down the heat and put some on a wooden spoon. He held it out to her, and she blew on it, taking just a bit. She nodded, ‘mmm’ coming from her mouth. He tasted it himself and nodded. It was amazing. Maybe he cooked before the attack, maybe that’s why they came after him. He was some kind of chef that had stolen a secret recipe. Ok, that was ridiculous, but fun to think about. YN patted his arm and went to check on her bread and get the table ready.

Orm was running. He was a child, scared of something. Someone was chasing him. He saw someone in front of him. A woman, pale, with blonde hair like his. She looked sad, devastated. She held her arms out to him but then she was pushed off a cliff, weighed down by some kind of rock that pulled deep into a drench in the ocean. Orm was screaming, someone grabbed him, and he was hauled, kicking and screaming into a room where a man waited. This man had Orm’s eyes, but they were angry, murderous even.

“You are my son, and no son of mine is going to embarrass me by crying over that surface whore,” the man, his father said. His voice was vicious, but he wasn’t yelling, barely even whispering, but Orm knew that this was bad, very bad. His father rose from the chair he had been in, producing what looked like seaweed at his side. In his subconscious mind Orm finally realized he was in water, and not just a lake, or swimming, but deep in the ocean, where no human could live. He was snapped back to what was happening though when he felt the crack across his face. Whatever plant that was it was thick and felt like a whip. Orm touched his face and saw blood floating off, carried away. The man looked down at him and Orm screamed.

YN heard Orm from her room, crying out in his sleep. She got out of bed and ran into the other room. He was twisting in the sheets, sweat gleaming off him as he begged someone to stop. She moved to him, shaking him gently, trying to wake him. He shuddered and sat up finally, nearly knocking her over. His eyes were wide and looked around, searching for whatever had been scaring him.

“Orm,” she said, and she could see her voice reach him. He turned to look at her, his heaving chest slowing as they stared at each other. “I’m here, you’re safe.” She ran a hand through his hair, watching as his breathing evened out and he calmed down. “Nightmare?”

“I think I remembered something. Something that seems impossible,” he said. She nodded and moved to sit next to him in bed. He held up some covers and she slid under them. They laid down next to each other and without prompting she moved so he could lay against her, feel her close to him, fingers still running through his hair to soothe him. “I’m not a metahuman. I’m from the ocean.”

“Atlantean?” she asked. He looked at her confused. “The Aquaman, he and a group of people who have lived under the ocean just revealed themselves, joined the surface world. You must be one of their people.” He muddled the thought in his head and nodded.

“Perhaps I am,” he said. “Anyway, I think they killed my mother and my father…he was a monster.” YN leaned to his head, cheek pressing against his forehead, and she kissed it softly.

“Well, you’re here now, safe with me. No monster is going to come for you, not while I’m here,” she said. Orm looked up at her and stared. She looked tired, but she was smiling at him, and finally he thought he saw something in her eyes. He took a risk, leaning up slightly, pressing his lips to hers softly, just for a moment before pulling back. She looked at him surprised and for a moment he thought he had really screwed up, but then she was kissing him, and he never wanted it to end.

[she-karev]

First Day Back (Japril Imagine)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of Five

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Jackson Avery x April Kepner

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 6

Summary: April goes back to work at Grey Sloan and has an awkward interaction with Amber after their fight. She later talks to Jackson about their fight but leaves before revealing more.

AN: Hey guys so I’m sick that’s why I haven’t posted all week but I’m about to give you guys some Japril content where things really start to get interesting, like and reblog below and let me know what you think.

Words: 1632

May 2nd, 2020

April Kepner stands in front of the elevator of the Grey Sloan lobby feeling nervous about her first night back as a trauma surgeon. Normally she would be doing work at the clinic but since they added 20 locum tenens to their staff April isn’t needed as much and her schedule has been cut in half.

Feeling like she could fill that time in by helping more people during this crisis she called Catherine about coming back to Grey Sloan part time and she and Bailey were all for it needing all the help they can get. And being here and seeing all the changes that they’ve been forced to make has April feeling bad for leaving at all. At the very least she can help out and lessen the load even a little bit and maybe save a life or two. Also she can take supplies for her clinic so her homeless patients can be protected. Anything to distract herself from the manila envelope inside her purse that she’s carrying.

Yesterday a courier gave her an envelope with divorce papers inside with her exes Matthew Taylor’s signature already on the dotted line. April has come to understand since her first divorce that the topic isn’t such a big deal but still having to sign your second divorce papers brings an unsettling feeling in her stomach. It’s not the divorce that upsets her but rather her own reaction to it…and her lingering thoughts about Jackson since they kissed two weeks ago.

When it happened, Jackson was upset that Amber was positive with covid and April was comforting him with a hug. It escalated when he kissed her and she reacted by instinct, like it was something she never forgot how to do. But then she stepped back knowing Jackson would be conflicted about it and told him it was a stupid mistake so she could save herself from the pain again.

Except now that pain is still there and a longing for Jackson Avery that never went away even when she married Matthew. Even with their cordial interactions the last two years April can’t help but feel that she and Jackson circle around each other like gravity. And she isn’t sure if she should fight it again to save herself from the pain or give in and possibly have a better outcome with Jackson than last time.

“Hey.” April looks to her left to see Amber Karev standing six feet away in her baby blue scrubs, N95 mask and face shield. Her tone from the hey is polite and makes April guess her friend is trying to tread lightly after their argument six nights ago where they both said hurtful things to each other.

“Hey.” April greets back with a curt nod, “I haven’t seen you around the apartment the last few days, are you working late?”

“No it’s my first day back actually. I’m staying at a hotel for now.” Amber explains to April who nods, “I’m trying to keep a tiny bubble after quarantine, and I don’t want to risk exposing Harriet so I’m looking for a new place right now.”

April thinks to herself if Amber having covid is warranting this move or their fight but Amber doesn’t notice as she asks, “Anyways what are you doing here? Do you have a patient here?”

“Um not yet. It’s my first day back, I’m coming back part time.”

Amber’s eyes widen at this news, “Oh, Jackson did not tell me this so this is a very big surprise.”

“Yeah it just happened, I wanted to help out since the clinic has more doctors and if I did nothing I would kick myself.”

“So, are you back in the OR?”

April groans at that, “No I wish, I’m gonna help out in the pit and manage the overflow. One minute back and I feel like I’m back in Iraq only there’s no one shooting at me.”

“It’s how it always feels.” Amber states gloomy before the elevator doors open with a ding.

“Stop that train!” The women look to see Jackson yelling as he power walks to them outside the elevator. He is in his casual clothes having come to start his shift as well.

“Dramatic much?” Amber chuckles.

“It’s from a movie.” Jackson explains to Amber who looks confused, “The Dresser? 1983? Albert Finney? You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you.”

“Dude as far as I’m concerned the world began the day I was born, you going?”

“Uh no, I’ll let you guys go and I’ll get the next one.” Jackson offers to the women who both look uncomfortable at using a small space together.

Amber clears her throat behind her mask, “Um you know what I am gonna take the stairs it’s probably safer anyway I’ll see you later bye.”

April nods at that slightly hurt as Amber walks away from them. She walks inside the elevator with Jackson who saw the exchange that sparks his curiosity.

April sighs and explains while the doors close, “We had a little…thing a tiff the night she came back. It’s fine were fine.”

April and Amber's Fight Here

“She took the stairs and you’re not talking to each other?” Jackson points out in worry, “At least tell me this isn’t the part where I have to take sides because both of you scare me, and I don’t want my head on a platter.”

April chuckles, “No we were talking, that was talking, it’s fine we’re fine.”

“That is a lot of fines.” Jackson observes in amusement, “What were you guys fighting about anyway?”

April groans and recaps to her ex, “I called her out for sleeping with DeLuca the night before and already plotting on breaking his heart. I might have overreacted because of my own issues concerning mixed signals and called her selfish which I feel bad about, so I don’t need you to do that for me thank you. I want to apologize but she said some things too and I’m mad as well and want her to apologize first. It’s a vicious cycle and now we’re barely acknowledging each other and talking when we need to so…it’s a great first day back.”

Jackson is shocked by this and closes his eyes to process, “Amber slept with DeLuca?”

April raises an eyebrow at that and the doors open in front of them with a ding, “That’s the only thing you got from me?”

They both walk out and head to the attendings lounge side by side six feet apart, “No I got the rest it’s just that hearing my best friend sleeping with her ex while in quarantine is something I’m trying to process first and then the rest.”

“Yeah I know how you feel about him.” April says understanding, “And I know he hurt her but he’s had a hard year. And he apologized for it repeatedly. I’ve been where he’s at when the person you love doesn’t want anything beyond a one-night stand only it’s not a one night if you live and work together. And seeing that person and knowing they are never gonna be all in is torture and in this time, it will make DeLuca hit a breaking point again.”

April exhales frustrated and sees Jackson looking at her knowingly with a raised eyebrow, “Yeah I might have projected my own feelings onto her situation.”

“Might have?” Jackson asks with a grin, “I’ll give you this you had a fight with Amber and walked away with all of your teeth you might be the first.”

“Well DeLuca is first actually.” April tells him, “And I know you’re on her side, not against me but on her conflicting feelings for DeLuca. I know your probably disappointed in her for going back to him and it’s another thing she’s gonna hold over me.”

Jackson sighs opening the lounge door for April and they both enter the empty room. Jackson takes his mask off that he looks at in his hands with thought while April looks at him waiting for his response.

“A few weeks ago, I would march right up to DeLuca and tell him he doesn’t have a shot in hell with her even after that night…but things changed.” April looks surprised by this change in heart concerning DeLuca and Amber, “You know he was there for her the whole time she was sick? He brought her food, he coordinated with the nurses, and she didn’t call security on him when he visited which is a big sign that she didn’t sleep with him out of desperation. I uh…I think if given the chance he might not screw things up with her again.”

April nods supporting this and supporting DeLuca’s attempts to get back on Amber’s good side. She wonders if Amber was right that night about Jackson being reluctant to trust her like she is reluctant to trust DeLuca. She wonders if her actions five years ago had the same effect on Jackson as DeLuca’s had on Amber a few months ago. Her thought train stops as Jackson continues.

“I’ll deny ever having said that, especially to Alex.” Jackson states with a grin, “So what did Amber say to make you upset with her anyway?”

April inhales as she dreads hashing up that part of the night especially to Jackson, luckily her phone beeps.

“Um I gotta go my shift is about to start but we’ll talk later.”

Jackson nods, “Yeah I should get ready too, I’ll come down to the pit and see how you are.”

“Thanks.” April grabs her scrubs in the cubby and goes to the bathroom to change leaving Jackson to wonder why she suddenly changed the subject. He suspects whatever Amber told her the night they fought had to do with him.

Next Part Here

[qveerthe0ry]

Hi there!

Joel brought you into the fandom, but is he still your favorite? Have any other characters stolen your heart?

Ahhhh omg I love this question!!

It’s so hard to choose a favorite… They’re all so different and lovely in their own unique way… so I will say that it’s a three-way tie and give in-depth answers as to why 😂

Joel is definitely still a favorite. I am madly in love with the way he becomes so vulnerable, something he clearly promised himself he’d never be again. It’s so endearing and also heartbreaking, the way he tries so hard not to love Ellie because of the hurt that was caused by loving his own daughter, only to end up mass-murdering for her and comparing Ellie to Sarah at the end of the season. It’s so easy to fall in love with him, little by little, as you watch him open up in increments. From the reluctant worry over Ellie, to the way he stays up all night guarding her sleeping bag because she’s scared, to the FINALLY laughing at her jokes, to the ‘do you trust me?,’ the stables scene and ‘you deserve a choice,’ the way he tells her to leave him for dead, the babygirl scene that directly mirrors Sarah’s death scene, all the way to trying to cheer her up with Chef-Boyardee and Boggle and promises of guitar lessons and ‘it wasn’t time that did it.’ All of these little moments just made my heart grow so so big for this character. There is also something so sexy about a guy who is a tough nut to crack, only to find that his center is sweet and gooey and decadent. And then he’s also such a dilf and the GRAYS are just 😍

Second, and this one surprises me, is Frankie Morales. I will preface this by saying I am way more enamored by fanfic Frankie than the actual movie character. TF isn’t my favorite type of movie, and we get so little of Frankie in it, so I’m very self-aware of the fact that fics and fandom head-canons have overtaken my judgement. BUT. Because we get so little of him, it’s very easy to mold him into what we want, which is so fun when it comes to writing. We know canon Frankie is the most reserved of the bunch, and that he is a family man, and he’s very level-headed. But what flavor of reserved is he? Aloof, brooding, and dark? Love it. Shy, hesitant, and sad? Also love it. I love that the fandom has all agreed that he is the pussy eating king, a golden retriever boyfriend, and also fairly commonly bisexual/pansexual. Also, he is so CUTE. His little curls under his little hat, and his tiny little butt, and his patchy beard, and his puppy dog eyes. Textbook definition of boyishly handsome, which is so different from most Pedro characters’ looks.

Third is the disaster bisexual himself, Dieter Bravo. Listen. It took me like four times to finally watch The Bubble all the way through. What a nightmare. But I really do think Dieter is the shining star of that movie. He has a little bit of those Joel vibes. At the beginning he’s this cocky, Tony Stark-esque character, mysterious and full of himself. But he very quickly dissolved into this sad little guy on drugs, which is just a great brand honestly. I do have the same fanfic-tinted lenses for him as Frankie, but honestly this man is so unhinged that I’m pretty sure every Dieter fic I’ve ever read is in-character and could totally be canon. I love that he is so reckless but also such a sweetheart at the core, ie: crying over a baby goat and falling in love with a receptionists because she’s like the first person to actually treat him with kindness. Also as someone who’s non-binary/gender-fluid, I really dig the ‘I’ll sleep with anyone’ vibes. He seems like the most attainable Pedro character in that regard 😂

Honorable mentions because I’m insufferable: Din Djarin for kind of the same reason as Joel, but also being so fucking funny without even trying just because of The Way That He Is

and

Marcus Pike because I just love a good sweet angel boyfriend 😌

Thank you thank you thank you for this ask 🫶🏻💕💖🥰 I had fun coming up with my extremely convoluted answer lol

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph. How are you? First of all, happy birthday again! Hope you had a fantastic day.

I hate to be that person. But can we please talk about loneliness in life and in fandoms?

I've been struggling with loneliness since I was a kid. When I firstly discovered fandom spaces, I was so excited to get new friends. When I was younger I actually formed a bond with some of them but growing up...I don't know. I feel like I'm not made for being anyone's friend. Just saying this makes me feel like the biggest of the losers but it's just how it is. I feel transparent, I feel like I have nothing to give. The few times I've tried to interact with people here I didn't even get an answer. You know, I chose not to have a love life ages ago, and platonic friends were all I was asking for. I am a bit terrified of dying alone to be honest. I got used to doing things by myself and I'm really comfortable with that. But sometimes I wish for something more, someone actually caring about me. Sigh.

Hey Nonny *HUGS*

First off, I want to validate you on your feelings; I too have been and am a very lonely person, but in my case it's more self imposed than lack of trying. My poor self esteem tends to drive people away, and in turn keeps me staying isolated in my own bubble.

That said, it's something I'm working STUPIDLY hard on in therapy, and it SUCKS but is also rewarding. My therapist tells me that my perception of reality is skewed because of past "trauma that I didn't know was trauma" which in turn lead to my poor self esteem.

One thing you need to know, Nonny, is that the loneliness you feel online has NOTHING to do with you as a person. Certainly, some choices in your life may have added to it (like with me, I chose a career over relationships), but, especially in this post-COVID world, loneliness was brought on by a long period of isolation, and social media only exacerbated it. I can tell you this from experience: people were nicer before social media. People wanted to go out and do things. People generally didn't use each other for clout and likes.

Call me a boomer or whatever, but social media and "hustle culture" has only produced a generation of selfish people. So no, it's not you imagining things... It IS generally harder nowadays to make new friends without there being some sort of cost-benefit to the other party.

THAT ALL SAID, I relate to you a lot, I really do. Therapy has helped me immensely with my overwhelming loneliness as well. I think also being an introvert who LOVES being alone on the best of days helps a lot too, but I know that my solitary lifestyle isn't for everyone.

Honestly Nonny, I don't have a good answer for you other than to be an ear for you to talk to. As I said, I generally don't have a lot of really close friends I see regularly, and that's okay by me. Join discords, comment on posts, and keep messaging people, but don't let that discourage you if you don't hear back. A lot of people need to feel a sense of trust before engaging in another conversation, and other times we're all just a bunch of shy, neurodivergent nerds who simultaneously want to talk to everyone and keep to themselves.

And if you're able to, Nonny, please do talk with a counsellor or therapist, your words worry me to my heart 💜

And for what it's worth, if I don't reply right away, it's because I actually need to be in a good headspace to answer asks like this, and not feel REALLY lazy as I have been. And you aren't alone, I promise. Many of the Lovelies and Lurkers feel the same, and we're all here just enjoying fandom.

I'm sorry I'm not much help, Nonny, and I'm sorry I kept going on a lot of tangents. I just want you to know that I am thinking about you 💜

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Learning that you seem to be used to receive unnecessary hate really sadden me because you're such a sweet and talented person 💜

I wish people could cease to bring down people just because they feel safe behind a screen... They're free to ignore or block you if your ideas make them feel uncomfortable but that's not a reason to hurt you... You did nothing wrong 💜 I wish this message filled with genuine love and feelings can brighten, even a little bit, your day 💜 Being angry or upset doesn't suit our dear Bree 💜 This blog is your comfort place and you bring us such joy and comfort too 💜 Whenever I feel sad or stressed, I'd read your stories or kind advices, you're so funny and lovely 💜 I'm glad I could finally get to thank you for enlighting my days 💜

Never forget that your feelings come first and people can just talk, whatever they want 💜 Who cares about brats ? We don't need their permission to sink together in this ocean of depravity and enjoy~ 💜

Please take great care of you until the day I will gather the courage to speak to you directly 💜

This was so incredibly kind of you, thank you so much. I do try very hard to just ignore people being silly in my inbox, but I was having a rough day yesterday so I wanted to complain a little. I always try to be the sort of person who accepts all opinions and fandom interpretations, and I pride myself on having never sent any sort of hate mail, or even left rude comments on a piece of content just because their interpretation doesn't match mine. that just isn't my vibe. I am fun and silly and the last thing I want to do is make someone else upset. That's why it can be so hard when I get asks calling me admittedly terrible things just because I think komaeda is bi lol. Because I would never in my life send something like that to someone else. If your headcanons aren't harming anyone, I genuinely don't care, I will just scroll on past. I dunno, this just seems to be a sore spot for some people, and I try very hard to stay in my little bubble of Komaeda Kontent enjoyers so those who don't want to see my stuff don't have to, but I really don't have 100% control over that. I'm really glad that you find comfort in my blog and that you like my writing, people like you are the reason I feel comfortable to keep going even though my inbox is sometimes full of nasty stuff that needs deleting. So thank you again for your incredibly kind words. I'm not planning on going anywhere or changing what I do! I'm just going to keep deleting those asks and keep on writing! And please don't be afraid of talking to me! I'm a massive loser, you have nothing to worry about. and if you ARE someone who doesn't like my content. please just block me. that's literally what the block button is for. Curate your own experiences and enjoy yourself online, don't get angry for no reason, it's not worth it.

[unnursvanablog]

ESC250: my top 10.

For those who don't know, ESC250 is an annual countdown of the top 250 best Eurovision songs as voted by Eurovision fans and takes place on the last day of the year by the Belgian radio station ESCradio (that radio also only plays Eurovision songs and songs related to the contest 24 hours a day).

Starting in November, Eurovision fans who are interested in participating (or know about the event) vote for their top 10 songs via the escradio website and rate them from 1 to 12 points (just like in Eurovision). That's all compiled and ranked from 250th up to 1st place (which has been Loreen for the past 10 years) by how the points each song got. Rather simple, really. And you get to listen to so many hours of (mostly) top nocte eurovision songs. But then again, I love eurovision so there truly aren’t that many songs on the list that I truly don’t enjoy.

ESC250 lasts about 12 hours, if I remember correctly, while ESCradio plays all the songs that made that chart that year, while eurovision fans tweet their reactions and stuff to the results under the hashtag #ESC250, and most of them have a pretty good time. At least I do. This is one of Eurovision fandom's joyest moments on Twitter.

The Eurovision fandom may be quite dramatic and argumentative on twitter (and other places) most days of the year... but   I find most, if not all fandoms, on most parts of the internet to be dramatic and argumentative so 🤷 and I've been a kpop fan for over 15 years so I'm used to things. And I know, after many years on twitter and tumblr, to create my own little bubble and just stay there.

I personally love to make list and blog about them, so since I had a list of the songs I was going to vote for in ESC250, I decided to blog about it as well. As usual, I usually just go by which songs I have listened to the most this year; with the top 2 songs from this Eurovision year and then the older Eurovision favs that I kept returning to this year. There are always some changes from year to year to my list, but there are songs that haven't left the list since I started voting in 2020.

1 point -  Forogj Világ! 

This is the sort of sound that I enjoy probably the most in eurovision. That and anything remotly disco or upbeat fun nonsense. The energy of the performance, the atmosphere, the beat, the dancing is just all *chef's kiss* it's showing your culture and traditions through a song. This is one of the many reasons why I love eurovision. Idk where else I would find this sort of song.

2 point - Dancing Lasha Tumbai

At certain point I almost replaced this song with Under the Ladder or Solovey... but Dancing Lasha Tumbai is both so iconic and I wanted to have more songs that weren't from 2017 and up on the list, so I decided to choose that instead of Under the Ladder. The opening line alone; 'Hello everybody, my name is Verka Serduchka, Me English, Nicht versteht, Let's speak dance!' is just enough to put me in a good mood. Which is what I have surely needed this year. 

(Also... Russia goodbye!)

3 points - Minn Hinsti Dans

I wouldn't say that try to be a little patriotic and vote for at least one Icelandic song, but somehow it does tend to happen. and I mean, hey! Minn Hinsti Dans is undoubtedly one of the most iconic songs we have ever sent to Eurovision. It changed the history of Eurovision a bit, according to a whole bunch of people, and is just a very good popsong in all sense of the world. And probably my favorite Icelandic Eurovision song. Or one of them. I am so freaking proud of this entry in the contest and the fact that we did that. This tiny little island sent this to eurovision.

4 points - Occidental's Karma

I think I've voted this song every year that I've voted in ESC250 and there's a very simple reason for that; This is one of my all time favorite Eurovision songs. There is something so pleasant and cheerful about Gabbani's performance, especially on the Sanremo stage (there was something lackluster about the whole thing at eurovision for some reason) and I really just enjoy the energy of it and just the vibes. It makes me so happy just listening to it.

5 points  - Stripper

Europe didn't appreciate him, the eurofandom didn't appreciate him, but I have to help my man get high in the list, because even though he didn't make it to the finals this year despite bringing the best performance of Eurovision 2022. He deserves to be at least in the top 100 in ESC250. I was having so much fun with him just doing Eurovision and just the whole process of it. I regularly watch his performance on youtube and just kind of giggle to myself 'omg, I can't believe Achille Lauro actually went to Eurovision.' And damn, it was enjoyable ride. Truly the highlight of the 2022 eurovision season, and therefor he is on that list.

6 points - øve os på hinanden

This is the second year in a row that this song has made it onto my list and something tells me it will undoubtedly be there next year too because I just love it. For me, this song just gives me an extra serotnin boost every time I listen to it. I think it's wonderful. This song is just ✨ good vibes ✨ and it's also just what I'm looking for in music. Especially with my anxiety the way it has been. I'm here to have fun, find something new, that makes me smile and just to get exited baout. And in general I think that's what music is supposed to do. Make yourself feel something. That's what Eurovision is all about. Not streaming numbers or if my favorite is doing better in the odds or whatever. It's about having fun and finding new music that you like.

7 points - Fulenn

I know it's just eurovision and not that serious... but Fulenn deserved better than 17 points in the final this year. This song gradually became my favorite song of the year, sort of around on the Eurovision week. I just think that a folky-rave song in a minority language is just something that just captures the spirit of Eurovision so well. This is what I want to see in Eurovision. This was my fav song out of all the songs in eurovision 2022. And even if it didn't place high in the final, I shall try to let it be high on the ESC250.

8 points - Hajde da Ludujemo

This is a song that I remember listening to a lot on back in the day, on one of those 'best of eurovision' CDs I had as a child and then I forgot about it when I wasn't so much using those CDs anymore. And then it came on #EurovisionAgain (which is also a twitter thing... sort of) and it was almost love at first listen again. Love this song, love the performance, love everything about it. For the three minutes you're about to listen to, or watch, it's just so camp and fun. This song is just pure joy to me.

10 points -  Spirit in the Sky

Keiino is a gift that keeps on giving. Is Spirit in the Sky become one of my all time favorite Eurovision songs? Yeah, it is. How could it not be. This song, like Shum, is what Eurovision is about. It captures the Eurovision essance so well, I think and just the Eurovision joy so well. It's just so lovely. I can't listen to Spirit in the Sky and not smile and feel happy.

12 points - Shum

Now, Shum was in my second place on this year, until about two days ago when I saw Go_A live at Airwaves and damn, they were excellent. It may only been about a year and Shum has already sort of become one of those Eurovision classics, I think, which will survive the passage of time as one of those songs that people will always associate with Eurovision, just like Dancing Lasha Tumbai and other songs such as it. It's energetic, it's folky, it's immaculately well staged and everything about the song and performance makes it a A+ Eurovision song. And is well on its way to being one of my favorite Eurovision songs ever. If this doesn’t get top 10 ESC250 finish then I will be shocked.

In comparison to how I voted last year:

12 points - øve os på hinanden (got 127th place)

10 points - Shum (got 3rd place)

8 points - Forogj Világ! (got 152nd place)

7 points - Spirit in the Sky (got 7th place)

6 points - Hajde da Ludujemo (got 110th place)

5 points - My Heart Goes Boom (did not make the list)

4 points - Zitti E Buoni (got 2nd place)

3 points - Historyja majho Zycci (did not make the list)

2 points - Think About Things (got 33th place)

1 points - Occidentali's Karma (got 51st place)

[fannish-karmiya]

Wei Wuxian’s Position in the Jiang Household

Fandom tends to mischaracterise Wei Wuxian’s position in the Jiang family greatly. A lot of people project more modern ideas about adoption onto his relationship with the Jiang siblings, and write as if he really is their sibling and only Yu Ziyuan’s abusive nature gets in the way of their bond.

This strikes me as a bit misguided. While adoption was practised in ancient China, it was mainly for the purpose of obtaining a male heir in the absence of one, or obtaining more daughters to marry off for alliances. Jiang Fengmian had no reason to adopt Wei Wuxian into the main family, and he didn’t. Wei Wuxian’s position in the household is far more nebulous than that, and honestly it’s hard to find an exact corollary, in Chinese history or in any culture, precisely because it was so messy and ill-defined.

A Companion to Upper Class Children

Wei Wuxian is the son of a servant of Yunmeng Jiang; it’s notable that Wei Changze is always referred to this way, rather than as a disciple. Wei Changze wound up leaving the sect in order to marry Cangse Sanren, and Jiang Fengmian considered them dear enough friends that when he heard they passed away, he spent years searching for their orphaned son. He wound up finding Wei Wuxian on the streets of Yiling and brought him home as his ward.

Wei WuXian was taken home by Jiang FengMian when he was nine.

Most memories from back then were already blurred. Yet, Jin Ling’s mother, Jiang YanLi, remembered all of them, and even told him quite a few.

She said that, after his father heard of the news that his parents both died in battle, he had always dedicated himself to finding the child that these past friends had left behind. After searching for a while, he finally found the child in Yiling.

(Chapter 24, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear from the start that beyond this sense of obligation to his old friends, Jiang Fengmian also had a role set out for Wei Wuxian: he wanted him to be a companion to his children, and Jiang Cheng in particular.

He encourages a friendship between them, insisting on a sleepover between the two a week into Wei Wuxian’s stay.

On the second day, Jiang Cheng’s puppies were given to someone else.

This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian. Quite a few days later, Jiang Cheng’s attitude softened. Jiang FengMian wanted to strike while the iron was still hot, so he told Wei WuXian to sleep in the same room as him, hoping that they’d grow fonder of each other.

[...]

That night, Jiang Cheng locked Wei WuXian outside his room, refusing to let him in.

[...]

Wei WuXian waited outside for a long time. When the door opened, before the joy could spread onto his face, he was bombarded with a pile of things being thrown out. The door banged shut again.

Jiang Cheng told him from inside, “Go sleep somewhere else! This is my room! You’re even gonna steal my room?!”

[...]

Standing outside, as Wei WuXian heard that dogs would come bite him, fear immediately bubbled within him. Twisting his fingers, he hurried, “I’ll go, I’ll go. Don’t call the dogs!”

Dragging behind him the sheets and blanket that were thrown outside, he ran out the hall. Having only arrived at Lotus Pier for a short period of time, he didn’t dare jump around yet. Every day, he obediently holed up in the places that Jiang FengMian told him to stay at. He didn’t even know where his room was, much less have the courage to knock on other people’s doors, scared that it’d disturb someone’s dreams.

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

After Jiang Cheng is worried about getting in trouble, he goes to Jiang Yanli for help, and she searches for Wei Wuxian.

But this was the first pair of shoes that Jiang FengMian bought him. Wei WuXian was too embarrassed to make him go out of his way to buy another pair, and so he said that they weren’t too big. Jiang YanLi helped him into his shoe and pressed the hollow tip, “It is a bit big. I’ll fix it for you when we get back.”

Hearing this, Wei WuXian felt somewhat uneasy, as if he did something wrong again.

Living in other people’s homes, the worst that could happen was to make trouble for the hosts.

Jiang YanLi put him onto her back and began to walk back, wobbling in her steps as she spoke, “A-Ying, no matter what A-Cheng said to you, don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have a good temper, so he’s always home playing with himself. Those puppies were his favorites. Dad sent them away, and so he’s feeling upset. He’s actually really happy that somebody’s here to be with him.”

(Chapter 71, Exiled Rebels translation)

Later, Wei Wuxian offers to cover for him, saying simply that he ran outside by himself because he was scared. In this one case it feels like a genuine instance of children showing solidarity and covering for each other’s little misbehaviours. But it also follows a pattern of Wei Wuxian doing this and making excuses, time and time again, for Jiang Cheng. I wonder if on some level, he already knew that his role in the household was in part to be a companion-servant to Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian normally never puts up with people treating him poorly or being arrogant; he constantly bites his tongue when Jiang Cheng does so around him. While they study at Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng frequently insults Wei Wuxian, who always just smiles and laughs it off.

Jiang Cheng humphed, “Him? He wakes at nine in the morning and sleeps at one during the night. When he wakes up, he doesn’t practice his sword or meditate; he goes boating, swims around, picks lotus seedpods, and hunts for pheasants.”

Wei WuXian replied, “No matter how much pheasants I hunt, I’m still number one.”

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng scolded with a darkened expression, “What are you proud of?! What is there to be proud of with this?! Do you think that it’s a glorious thing to be told by someone to get lost? You bring so much shame upon our sect!”

(Chapter 16, Exiled Rebels translation)

We never see Wei Wuxian excusing this sort of behaviour from any other character; he has no problem scolding Jin Ling for his arrogant attitude and telling him that he shouldn’t be imitating his uncle, after all! It’s only where Jiang Cheng is concerned that he does this, and honestly, even then he seems to be quite aware that Jiang Cheng’s behaviour is wrong; he simply accepts on some level that it’s his role in the household to put up with it.

He actually does, very gently, try to guide Jiang Cheng at times. In Lotus Seed Pods, for example, he tries to give Jiang Cheng advice on how to flirt with some of the maidens in Yunmeng and make friends:

Wei WuXian threw the seed pods toward the shore. It was a far distance, but they landed lightly in the women’s hands. He grabbed a few more and stuffed them into Jiang Cheng’s arms, shoving, “What are you doing, just standing there? Hurry up.”

After a few shoves, Jiang Cheng could only accept them, “Hurry up and do what?”

Wei WuXian, “You ate the watermelon too, so you also have to return the gift, don’t you? Here, here, don’t be embarrassed. Start throwing, start throwing.”

Jiang Cheng snorted again, “You must be joking. What’s there to be embarrassed about?” Whatever he said, however, even after all of the shidi began to throw seed pods, he still didn’t start to move. Wei WuXian urged, “Then throw some! If you throw some this time, next time you can ask them if the seed pods tasted good, and you’ll be able to make conversation again!”

[...]

Jiang Cheng was just about to throw one when he realized how shameless it was the moment he heard it. He peeled a seed pod and ate it by himself.

[...]

After a while of laughter, he turned around and looked at Jiang Cheng, who was sitting at the front of the boat eating seed pods with a long face. His smile gradually disappeared as he sighed, “Well, what an unteachable child.”

Jiang Cheng fumed, “So what if I want to eat alone?”

Wei WuXian, “Look at you, Jiang Cheng. Nevermind. You’re hopeless. Just wait to eat alone your whole life!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even sighs rather disappointedly when Jiang Cheng refuses to take the hint; he knows that Jiang Cheng’s sullen behaviour is going to make him miserable down the line, but all of his gentle efforts to nudge him in a better direction have failed.

He also speaks with great awareness of Jiang Cheng’s flaws after the fight in the ancestral hall:

Wei WuXian reached out with one hand and massaged his chest, as if trying to break up the pent-up feeling inside his heart. A moment later, he blurted, “I knew Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have let us go so easily. That brat… How could this be?!”

[...]

Wei WuXian’s eyelids throbbed, “Every one of them. The brat’s been like this ever since he was young.He’ll say anything when he’s angry, no matter how bad it is. He gives up on all grace and discipline whatsoever. As long as it’d annoy whomever he’s against, he’d say it no matter what terrible insults he uses. After all these years, he hasn’t gotten better at all. Please don’t take it to heart.”

(Chapter 90, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is so interesting to me, because it really makes it clear that Wei Wuxian has always been aware of these flaws of Jiang Cheng’s. He hasn’t been viewing him through rose-coloured lenses or making excuses for him because he’s ‘family’. He puts up with Jiang Cheng’s behaviour because being his companion is one of his duties in the Jiang household. It may never have been directly stated, but there seems to be some unspoken understanding to this effect.

I honestly don’t know if there is any official role in history (in any culture, not just China) which perfectly correlates to this. In China a lady’s maid was expected to also be a close friend and companion to her mistress (in canon, see Bicao to Qin-furen and Yinzhu and Jinzhu to Yu-furen). In Europe an upper class woman would hire a lady’s companion, a woman from the lower fringes of the gentry who would serve as her companion in exchange for financial support.

I don’t know of any version of this role which involves two men. In general, this sort of role existed because upper class women were confined to the household by and large, and had very limited social spheres. Men, meanwhile, had much greater ability to meet with their peers and make friends. I almost feel like Wei Wuxian wound up being shoved into this role simply because even as a child Jiang Cheng was so unsociable that Jiang Fengmian didn’t know what else to do!

Wei Wuxian also at least once steps in and starts a fight in place of Jiang Cheng (essentially taking the fall for him). He does this when Jin Zixuan speaks disparagingly of Jiang Yanli at Cloud Recesses:

Jin ZiXuan asked in reply, “Why don’t you ask me how on Earth can I be satisfied with her?”

Jiang Cheng instantly stood up.

Pushing him to the side, Wei WuXian walked in front of him and sneered, “You sure think that you’re pretty satisfying, don’t you? Where did you get the guts to be all choosy here?”

[...]

Wei WuXian sighed, “… It’d be nice if shijie came. It’s fortunate that you didn’t hit him.”

Jiang Cheng, “I was going to. If you didn’t push me, the other side of Jin ZiXuan’s face would also be ruined.”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s also very notable that Wei Wuxian is never shown having friends outside of Jiang Cheng’s social circle, despite what an outgoing and friendly person he is. Any time he expresses interest in someone for himself, as with Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng tries to nip it in the bud. Being unable to deter Wei Wuxian from Lan Wangji directly, Jiang Cheng instead tries to drive a wedge between them, constantly telling Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji hates him.

“Yeah,” Nie HuaiSang spoke, “It looks like he really hates you, Wei-xiong. Lan WangJi usually… No, he never does something so impolite.”

Wei WuXian, “He hates me already? I wanted to apologize to him.”

Jiang Cheng sneered, “Apologizing now? Too late! Like his uncle, he surely thinks that you are evil and unruly to the core, and didn’t bother to pay you any attention.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng pulled him even closer, “It’s not as if you’re familiar with him! Don’t you see how much he hates you? You’re going to carry him? He probably doesn’t even want you a step closer to him.”

(Chapter 52, Exiled Rebels translation)

He even directly orders Wei Wuxian not to invite Lan Wangji to come visit him at Lotus Pier during the Lotus Seed Pod extra.

Wei WuXian, “Why are you so upset? My watermelon almost flew away! I was just being polite. Of course he wouldn’t come. Have you ever heard of him go anywhere by himself to have fun?”

Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not only Lan Wangji he tries to steer Wei Wuxian away from; he also interrupts his conversation with Wen Ning at the archery competition:

Wen QiongLin was probably one of Wen Clan’s disciples furthest in bloodline. His status was neither high nor low, yet his personality was timid. He didn’t dare do anything and even his speech stuttered. Through much practice, he had finally conjured up the courage to enter the competition, but he blew it because he was too nervous. If he didn’t receive the right guidance, perhaps the boy would hide his true self more and more from now on and never dare to perform in front of other people again. Wei WuXian encouraged him a couple of times and touched on a few areas of growth, correcting some miniscule problems that he had when he was shooting in the garden. Wen QiongLin listened so attentively that he didn’t even turn his eyes away, nodding uncontrollably.

Jiang Cheng, “Where did you find so much nonsense? The competition is starting soon. Get into the arena right now!”

Wei WuXian spoke to Wen QiongLin in a serious tone, “I’ll be off to the competition now. Later, you can see how I shoot when I’m in the arena…”

Jiang Cheng dragged him away, short of patience. He spat as he dragged, “See how you shoot? Do you think that you’re a model or something?!”

(Chapter 59, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even when it comes to Wei Wuxian’s friendly flirtation with Mianmian, Jiang Cheng has something to say and tries to deter him from her:

Jiang Cheng, “The one that MianMian gave you? I didn’t.”

Wei WuXian exclaimed his regret, “I’ll find her for another one later.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, “You’re at it again. You don’t really like her, do you? The girl does look fine, but it’s obvious that she doesn’t have much background. Maybe she isn’t even a disciple. She seems like the daughter of a servant.”

Wei WuXian, “What’s wrong with servants? I’m also the son of a servant, aren’t I?”

Jiang Cheng, “How can you compare to her? Whose servant is like you, having your master peel lotus seeds for you and boil you soup. I didn’t even get to have some!”

(Chapter 56, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng really does seem to view Wei Wuxian in a very proprietary light; he’s not allowed to have any friendships which don’t exist under Jiang Cheng’s direct control.

The idea that Wei Wuxian was meant to be Jiang Cheng’s servant-friend is reinforced at its darkest when Lotus Pier falls: both Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian’s last words to Wei Wuxian are an instruction to protect Jiang Cheng.

One hand holding him, Madam Yu grabbed Wei WuXian’s lapels with her other hand as though to strangle him to death. She spoke through clenched teeth, “… You damn little brat! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else! Look at what our sect has gone through for your sake!”

[...]

Madam Yu, “Don’t make such a fuss. It’ll loosen up when you’re somewhere safe. If anyone attacks you on the journey, it’ll protect you as well. Don’t come back. Go to Meishan straight away and find your sister!”

After she finished, she turned to Wei WuXian and pointed at him, “Wei Ying! Listen to me! Protect Jiang Cheng, protect him even if you die, do you understand?!”

[...]

Jiang FengMian stared into his eyes. Suddenly, he reached out. Only after pausing in the air did he finally touch Jiang Cheng’s head, slowly, “A-Cheng, be well.”

Wei WuXian, “Uncle Jiang, if anything happens to you, he won’t be well.”

Jiang FengMian turned his eyes to him, “A-Ying, A-Cheng… you must look after him.”

(Chapter 58, Exiled Rebels translation)

Even Jiang Fengmian, who supposedly favoured Wei Wuxian, only gives him instructions as pertains to his own son; he doesn’t spare a single last word for Wei Wuxian himself.

A Lower Status Family Member

It wasn’t uncommon throughout human history, across many cultures, for wealthy families to take in relatives who were orphaned or had otherwise fallen on hard times. They tended to have a lower status than the main family; they lived with them and were still a part of their social sphere, but were not quite equal, either. The English term for this is ‘poor relation’.

Obviously, Wei Wuxian isn’t actually a blood relative at all. But his position in the Jiang household definitely has some similarities. He lives in the main house, eats meals with the family, attends school with the son... He is even on some conditional levels accepted into the gentry of cultivation society. But he isn’t a full equal member of the family, either.

The fact that he’s Jiang Fengmian’s ward, not a blood relative or adopted into the main family, puts him at even more of a disadvantage. It seems that Jiang Fengmian paid for all of Wei Wuxian’s expenses:

Wei WuXian took a bite, “Back then, I didn’t even have to pay when I ate at the dock. I grabbed whatever I wanted, ate whatever I wanted; ran after I grabbed, walked as I ate. A month later, the vendor would get the reimbursement from Uncle Jiang.”

(Chapter 86, Exiled Rebels translation)

While this is a bit of conjecture, I gather that he was given access to family money as if he was part of the clan, and could just charge Yunmeng Jiang whenever he shopped in Lotus Pier. Which is great so long as Wei Wuxian is accepted in Yunmeng Jiang...but as we see during the Burial Mounds settlement period, the moment that acceptance fades, Wei Wuxian is left out in the cold without a single coin. And because he isn’t a member of the family, it’s a far easier matter for him to be thrown aside, as he was when Jiang Cheng grew angry with him over his decision to protect the Wens.

Of course, Chinese families traditionally did share their wealth, and still do nowadays. Ideally, in a loving family, this is a positive and means they all support each other; but when that isn’t the case, it leaves the victims of abuse vulnerable.

In Wei Wuxian’s case, he has some of the benefits of being a member of the Jiang clan, without ever actually being a member. He can be cast aside at any time, and he is never afforded the same respect by wider cultivation society which an inner clan member would have.

I don’t believe the novel ever directly addresses Wei Wuxian’s acceptance into the guest lectures at Cloud Recesses in this light, but the donghua actually has a very interesting little exchange about it which takes place between Nie Huaisang and a relative of his:

“Wei-xiong is just a disciple from Yunmeng. Why could he come to Gusu to study?”

“Wei-xiong is the son of Jiang-zongzhu’s old friend. He has been treated as their own son.”

“Oh, I see. That explains why they don’t look like master and servant, they seem like brothers.”

(MDZS Donghua, Episode 3, Guodong Subs)

Wei Wuxian was only allowed to attend these lectures, which seem to mainly be for sect heirs and inner clan members, on the grace of being Jiang Fengmian’s ward (and probably to accompany Jiang Cheng). While this exchange is not from the book, we never do see or hear about any of the other students being outer disciples rather than members of the main clan. Here’s what the novel had to say about it:

In that year, aside from the YunmengJiang Sect, there were also the young masters from other clans, sent to study here from parents who heard of the reputation. The young masters were all around fifteen or sixteen. Because the sects all knew the others, although they weren’t close, they had seen others’ faces before. It was widely known that, although Wei WuXian’s surname was not Jiang, he was the leading disciple of the sect leader of the YunmengJiang Sect—Jiang FengMian, and also the son of his friend who had passed away. In fact, the sect leader regarded him as his own child. This, along with how youths were not as concerned with status and ancestry as elders, they were soon friends. Only a few sentences passed, and everyone started to call others older brothers or younger brothers.

(Chapter 13, Exiled Rebels translation)

And Wei Wuxian isn’t treated as an equal at school, either; when he and his friends get up to mischief, he’s frequently the only one punished. Nie Huaisang even notes that Lan Qiren seems to be far harder on him than the other students:

Nie HuaiSang spoke, “Why does it seem like old man Lan is especially strict towards you? He always directs his scoldings at you.”

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

And we see Wei Wuxian being the sole one punished out of a group taken for granted by his friends multiple times:

As a result of cheating notes flying everywhere in the air, Lan WangJi suddenly attacked during the test, and caught a few initiators of the commotion. Lan QiRen exploded with anger, writing letters to the prominent clans to tell on them. He loathed Wei WuXian—in the beginning, although these disciples could hardly sit still, at least nobody started anything, and their buttocks were able to stick to their legs. However, now that Wei Ying came, the originally spineless brats were influenced by his encouragement, venturing out at night and drinking alcohol however they pleased. The unhealthy practices grew greater and greater. As he had expected, Wei Ying was one of the biggest threats to humanity!

Jiang FengMian replied, “Ying has always been like this. Please take care to discipline him, Mr. Lan.”

And so, Wei WuXian was punished again.

(Chapter 14, Exiled Rebels translation)

The boys were all cheating, but Wei Wuxian is the one punished most severely. This happens when he's caught sneaking alcohol, too (though to be fair to Lan Wangji, he probably was only punishing him, and himself alongside him, for being outside after curfew when he threw them off the wall).

Of course, Jiang Cheng didn’t dare to say that Wei WuXian was at fault. Thinking back, it was them who urged Wei WuXian to buy liquor. Each and every one of them should have been punished. He could only speak in a vague way, “It’s fine, it’s fine; it’s not that serious! He can walk. Wei WuXian, why are you still up there?!”

(Chapter 18, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s not entirely unreasonable for the one who gets caught to take the punishment (what’s he going to do, rat his friends out?) but their ready acceptance of this does fit into a pattern.

Jiang Cheng’s top was tied at his waist. Hearing his mother’s chastise, he hastily put it over his head. Madam Yu scolded again, “And you boys! Can’t you see that A-Li’s here? Who taught you brats to dress like this in front of a girl!?”

Of course, it was needless to think who led the group. Thus, Madam Yu’s next sentence, as usual, was “Wei Ying! Do you want to die!?”

[...]

He could still feel some pain in his back, so he tossed the paddles to someone else, sat down, and felt the stinging piece of flesh, “How unfair. Nobody else was wearing anything, but why was I the only one who got scolded and beaten up?”

Jiang Cheng, “Because you hurt the eye the most with no clothes on, for sure.”

[...]

Everyone nodded. Wei WuXian, “Thanks for the praise, you guys. I’m even starting to feel some goose bumps.”

The shidi, “You’re welcome, Da-Shixiong. You protect us every single time. You deserve even more!”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

While we know that Yu Ziyuan is an abusive person in general, she abuses Wei Wuxian far more harshly than anyone else, even the outer disciples. It’s made clear to us in Lotus Seed Pods that she whips him regularly over minor infractions:

Madam Yu was even angrier, “How dare you run! Come back right now and kneel!” As she spoke, she let loose her whip with a flip of her wrist. Wei WuXian felt a searing pain slash across his back. He loudly exclaimed, “Ow!” And almost tripped on the ground.

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

And that his back is heavily scarred from it:

He felt his back, covered in scars both old and new, and still couldn’t hold back the question he’d be thinking about, “How awfully unfair. Why is it that I’m the only one who gets beaten up, whenever something happens?”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

Rumours about this even made it outside of Lotus Pier; during their visit to the ancestral hall years later, Lan Wangji even states that he heard about some of it:

Lan WangJi had on an expression of understanding, “Kneeling as punishment?”

Wei WuXian mused, “How did you know? That’s right. Madam Yu punished me almost every day.”

Lan WangJi nodded, “I have heard of a few things.”

Wei WuXian, “It’s so famous that even people outside Yunmeng, even you Gusu people know—how could it be ‘a few things’? But, to be honest, in all these years, I’ve never seen a second woman whose temper was as bad as Madam Yu’s. She told me to go to the ancestral hall and kneel no matter how small the matter was. Hahaha…”

(Chapter 87, Exiled Rebels translation)

Wei Wuxian’s lower social standing is definitely a part of why Yu Ziyuan is able to abuse him so terribly and receive little to no censure for it. Everyone at Lotus Pier simply takes it for granted, with the exception of Jiang Yanli who at least does try to deflect her mother when she is angry with Wei Wuxian:

Yet, all of a sudden, someone’s quiet voice drifted by Madam Yu’s ear, “Mom, do you want to eat some watermelon…”

[...]

Jiang YanLi almost cried from her mother’s pinching, mumbling, “Mom, A-Xian and the others were hiding here to relieve the heat and I came here on my own. Don’t blame them… Do… Do you want some watermelon… I don’t know who gave them to us, but it’s really sweet. Eating watermelon in the summer is great for cooling down and quenching thirst. I’ll cut them for you…”

(Chapter 125, Lotus Seed Pod, Exiled Rebels translation)

She both tries to deflect her mother from her anger, and also outright states that Wei Wuxian and the other boys weren’t at fault. Jiang Yanli seems to be the only one at Lotus Pier who ever does this.

After the war, Wei Wuxian attends social events at Jiang Cheng’s side but is never quite treated as an equal, either. See how at the Flower Banquet, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue greet Jiang Cheng but not him:

Suddenly, a voice spoke, “Sect Leader Nie, Sect Leader Lan.”

Hearing the familiar voice, Wei WuXian’s heart jumped. Nie MingJue turned around again. Jiang Cheng came over, dressed in purple, hand on his sword.

And the person standing beside Jiang Cheng was none other than Wei WuXian himself.

He saw himself walk with hands behind his back, wearing all black. A flute in the shade of ink stuck to his waist, hanging down with crimson colored tassels. Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Jiang Cheng, he nodded in this direction to show respect. Attitude slightly arrogant, he took on a profound, disdainful appearance. As Wei WuXian saw the stance of his younger self, the root of his teeth even cringed in soreness. He felt that he really was pretentious, and itched to just beat the hell out of himself.

Lan WangJi also saw Wei WuXian, who stood beside Jiang Cheng. The tip of his brows twitched ever so slightly. Soon afterward, his light-colored eyes returned to where they were, still looking forward in that composed way. Jiang Cheng and Nie MingJue nodded at each other with grave faces. Neither had anything unnecessary to say. After a hasty greeting, the two walked their separate ways. Wei WuXian saw his black-clothed self glance around as he finally saw Lan WangJi. He looked as if he was about to speak before Jiang Cheng came over and stood to his side.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

They then proceed to talk about him and his lack of a sword behind his back, never having said a word to Wei Wuxian himself:

Nie MingJue’s gaze turned over again, “Why does Wei Ying not carry his sword?”

Carrying one’s sword was like wearing formal attire. In such gatherings, it was a non-negligible indication of etiquette. Those from prominent sects saw it as especially important. Lan WangJi responded in a lukewarm tone, “He had probably forgotten.”

Ning MingJue raised a brow, “He can even forget something like this?”

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

At Phoenix Mountain it also seems that Wei Wuxian is conditionally a member of the gentry, but not treated like an equal. Sometimes there are these more cheerful interactions:

Holding the flower, Lan WangJi seemed to be quite cold. His tone seemed cold as well, “Was it you?”

Wei WuXian immediately denied it, “No, it wasn’t.”

The maidens beside him spoke at once, “Don’t believe him. It was him!”

Wei WuXian, “How could you treat a good person like this? I’m getting angry!”

Giggling, the maidens pulled their reins and went to the formations of their own sects. Lan WangJi lowered the hand that he held the flower with and shook his head. Jiang Cheng spoke, “ZeWu-Jun, HanGuang-Jun, apologies. Don’t pay attention to him.”

Lan XiChen smiled, “That is fine. I will thank Young Master Wei’s kindness behind the flower in place of WangJi.”

(Chapter 69, Exiled Rebels translation)

But then he will be publicly disparaged and it is readily accepted by others. Jin Zixun first starts an argument with him by criticising Wei Wuxian for fighting Jin Zixuan, then turns the topic to Wei Wuxian’s having taken a third of the prey in the hunt.

Jin ZiXun, “Wei, just what what do you mean by going against ZiXuan so many times?”

[...]

Jin ZiXun sneered, “How is it presumptuous? How is any part of you not presumptuous? Today, in such an important hunt involving all of the sects, you really showed off your abilities, didn’t you? One third of the prey have been taken by you. You sure feel pleased, don’t you?”

[...]

He mocked, “But it’s only natural that you don’t think you’re in the wrong. It’s not the first time that Young Master Wei has disregarded the rules. You didn’t wear your sword in both last time’s flower banquet and this time’s hunt. It’s such a grand event, and you care nothing for courtesy. In what regard to you hold us, the people who are present with you?”

[...]

No disciple had ever dared say such lofty words in front of so many people. A moment later, as Jin ZiXun finally regained his composure, he yelled, “Wei WuXian! You’re only the son of a servant—how dare you be so bold!!!”

(Chapters 69-70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Naturally, Jin Zixun is able to weasel out of giving an apology, even though Jiang Yanli demands one. And guess who also takes a third of the prey, but this time without any censure?

Jin GuangYao, “In reality, not only did Young Master Wei keep a third of the prey to himself, our eldest brother has eliminated over half of the fays and the monsters as well.”

Hearing this, Lan XiChen laughed, “That is how Brother is like, after all.”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Never a Brother

As I’ve already mentioned, Wei Wuxian was never adopted by Jiang Fengmian, or adopted into the clan in general in even a distant way. And this nebulous ‘we’re letting you live with the main family as a charity, but you aren’t really one of us’ attitude also reflects in his relationship with Jiang Yanli.

I’ve already discussed how Wei Wuxian was more like a companion servant to Jiang Cheng than a brother. It’s also worth noting quickly that neither of them ever refers to the other as a brother. Wei Wuxian refers to Jiang Cheng as his shidi a few times, and Jiang Cheng never even refers to him as his shixiong (because Jiang Cheng views him as his servant, not as even a martial brother, I’d argue).

Only one member of the Jiang family ever does use familial terms to refer to Wei Wuxian: his shijie, Jiang Yanli. At Phoenix Mountain, when Wei Wuxian is being insulted by Jin Zixun, Jiang Yanli stands up and defends him, and states clearly that she considers Wei Wuxian a little brother:

The people who gathered around Jin ZiXun had on the same dark faces as he did. Yet, taking into consideration Jiang YanLi’s background, they didn’t dare talk back to her directly.

Jiang YanLi added, “Besides, hunting is hunting, so why bring the matter of discipline to the table? A-Xian is a disciple of the YunmengJiang Sect. He grew up with my brother and I, and so he’s as close as a brother is to me. Calling him the ‘son of a servant’—I’m sorry, but I won’t accept this. And thus…”

She straightened her back and raised her voice, “I hope that Young Master Jin ZiXun would apologize to Wei WuXian of the YunmengJiang Sect!”

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

It doesn’t come through in the Exiled Rebels translation, but she actually refers to Wei Wuxian as her didi in this scene, not her shidi. She’s trying to draw a line and state that Wei Wuxian is a part of the family. However, no one takes her seriously, and shortly afterwards we see Jin-furen insisting that Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian shouldn’t be walking alone together because it would be inappropriate.

Jiang YanLi whispered, “That’s not necessary. I’d like to have a few words with A-Xian. He can walk me back.”

Madam Jin raised her brows, looking Wei WuXian up and down. Her gaze was somewhat cautious, as if she was feeling displeased, “A young man and a young woman—you two can’t stick together all the time if nobody else is present.”

Jiang YanLi, “A-Xian is my younger brother.”

[...]

Wei WuXian lowered his head, “Excuse my absence, Madam Jin.”

He and Jiang YanLi bowed at the same time. As they turned around to leave, Madam Jin grabbed Jiang YanLi’s hand and refused to let her leave.

(Chapter 70, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jin Zixuan also never treats Wei Wuxian the way one might a brother who is still angered with him over his past dismissive treatment of his sister. For example, see their argument at the Flower Banquet:

Before he could see how Lan WangJi reacted, a series of clamor suddenly came from the other end of the base. Wei WuXian heard his own raging shout, “Jin ZiXuan! Don’t you forget about what things you said and what things you did? What do you mean by this, now?!”

Wei WuXian remembered. So it was this time!

On the other side, Jin ZiXuan also fumed, “I was asking Sect Leader Jiang, not you! The one I was asking about was also Maiden Jiang. How is that related to you?!”

[...]

Jin ZiXuan, “Sect Leader Jiang—this is our sect’s flower banquet, and this is your sect’s person! Are you going to look after him or not?!”

[...]

...Jiang Cheng’s voice came, “Wei WuXian, you can just shut your mouth. Young Master Jin, I’m sorry. My sister is doing quite well. Thank you for your concern. We can talk about this next time.”

Wei WuXian laughed coldly, “Next time? There is no next time! Whether or not she’s doing well isn’t any of his business, either! Who does he think he is?”

He turned around and started to leave. Jiang Cheng shouted, “Get back here! Where are you going?”

Wei WuXian waved his hands, “Anywhere is fine! Just don’t let me see that face of his. I never wanted to come, anyway. You can deal with whatever’s here yourself.”

Having been abandoned by Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng’s face immediately clouded over.

[...]

Jiang Cheng stowed away the clouds on his face, “Don’t mind him. Look at how impolite he is. He’s used to such rude behavior at home.”

He then began to converse with Jin ZiXuan.

(Chapter 49, Exiled Rebels translation)

Jiang Cheng also quietly dismisses the notion of Wei Wuxian as a brother in relation to Jiang Yanli; when they visit to show him her wedding dress and she asks for a courtesy name, Jiang Cheng specifically says:

Jiang Cheng, “The courtesy name of my unborn nephew.”

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Not our nephew, mine.

Even the disastrous invitation to Jin Ling’s one month celebration is framed as a favour to an old shidi, not a family member:

Jin ZiXun, “Since you’ve heard it from him already, you should know that I can’t wait. Don’t tell me that you’ll disregard your brother’s life for the sake of Sister-in-Law’s shidi?!”

Jin ZiXuan, “You clearly know that I’m not that kind of person! He might not necessarily be the one who cursed you with Hundred Holes either. Why are you so rash? I was the one who invited Wei WuXian to A-Ling’s full-month celebration anyways. If this is the way you do things, where does that leave me? Where does it leave my wife?”

Jin ZiXun raised his voice, “It’s best if he doesn’t attend! What does Wei WuXian think he is—does he deserve to attend our sect’s banquet? Whoever touches him gets nothing but a splash of black! ZiXuan, when you invited him, weren’t you worried that you, Sister-in-Law and A-Ling would receive an irremovable stain for the rest of your lives?!”

(Chapter 76, Exiled Rebels translation)

It’s clear that not only does wider society not consider Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs siblings...they themselves don’t, either. Wei Wuxian, after all, readily accepts that his relationship with them is over after he leaves the sect:

Before they parted, Jiang Cheng spoke, “We won’t see you off. It wouldn’t be good if someone saw us.”

Wei WuXian nodded. He understood that it wasn’t easy for the Jiang siblings to have come out here. If someone else saw them, all those things they did for the public to believe would be wasted. He spoke, “We’ll go first.”

[...]

He turned around, knowing that it’d be a long time before he’d get to see the people he was familiar with again.

But… right now, wasn’t he on his way to seeing people he was familiar with as well?

(Chapter 75, Exiled Rebels translation)

Cast Aside

The way cultivation society treats Wei Wuxian when he is not with the Jiangs is also very revealing. Any level of respect he is given is contingent on his position in the Jiang household, and when they aren’t around that minimal respect fades away. Look at how disrespectfully he is treated when he approaches Jin Zixun to ask for Wen Ning’s location.

Wei WuXian didn’t make small talk either, getting straight to the point, “No thanks. I don’t.” He nodded slightly at Jin ZiXun, “Young Master Jin, could I please have a word with you?”

Jin ZiXun, “If you have anything to say, come after our banquet is over.”

In reality, he didn’t want to talk to Wei WuXian at all. Wei WuXian could see this as well, “How long do I have to wait?”

Jin ZiXun, “Probably around six to eight hours. Or maybe ten to twelve. Or until tomorrow.”

Wei WuXian, “I’m afraid I can’t wait for that long.”

Jin ZiXun’s voice was arrogant, “You’ll have to wait even if you can’t.”

Jin GuangYao, “Young Master Wei, what do you need ZiXun for? Is it a pressing matter?”

Wei WuXian, “Pressing indeed. It allows for no delay.”

[...]

Jin ZiXun, “Wei WuXian, what do you mean? You came for him? You aren’t standing up for a Wen-dog, are you?”

Wei WuXian wore a broad grin, “Since when is it your business whether I’d like to stand up for him or cut his head off? Just give him to me!”

At the last sentence, the grin on his face vanished. His tone turned cold as well. It was clear that he had lost his patience. Many of the people within Glamor Hal shivered in fear. Jin ZiXun felt his scalp tingle as well. Yet, his anger soon soared. He shouted, “Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

[...]

Just as he was about to rebut, sitting on the foremost seat, Jin GuangShan spoke up.

His voice seemed kind, “It’s not anything too important anyways. You youngsters, why lose your tempers over such a thing? However, Young Master Wei, let me be fair here. Barging in when the LanlingJin Sect is holding a private banquet is indeed inappropriate.”

To say that Jin GuangShan didn’t mind what happened at Phoenix Mountain would be impossible. This was also why he only smiled when Jin ZiXun bickered with Wei WuXian but didn’t stop them, and only spoke up when Jin ZiXun was at the disadvantage.

Wei WuXian nodded, “Sect Leader Jin, it was never my intention to disturb your private banquet. My apologies. However, the whereabouts of the people whom Young Master Jin took are still unclear. Just a moment of delay, and it might be too late. One of the group had once saved me before. I will definitely not sit back and watch. Please do not feel pressured. I will make amends for this at a later date.”

[...]

After a few laughs, he continued, “Sect Leader Jin, let me ask you something else. Do you think that, because the QishanWen Sect is gone, the LanlingJin Sect has all right to replace it?”

All was silent within Glamor Hall.

Wei WuXian added, “Everything has to be given to you? Everyone has to listen to you? Looking at how the LanlingJin Sect does things, I almost thought that it was the QishanWen Sect’s empire all over again.”

[...]

A guest cultivator on his right shouted, “Wei WuXian! Watch your words!”

Wei WuXian, “Did I say something wrong? Forcing living people to be bait and beating them up whenever they refused to obey—is this any different from what the QishanWen Sect does?”

Another guest cultivator stood up, “Of course it’s different. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil. To arrive at such an end is only karma for them. We only avenged a tooth for a tooth, letting them taste the fruit that they themselves had sown. What’s wrong with this?”

Wei WuXian, “Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”

Another person spoke, “Young Master Wei, is it that they don’t have much blood on their hands just because you say so? These are only your one-sided words. Where’s the evidence?”

[...]

Jin GuangShan stood up as well, his face a mixture of shock, anger, fear, and hatred, “Wei WuXian! Just because… Sect Leader Jiang isn’t here doesn’t mean you can be so reckless!”

Wei WuXian’s voice was harsh, “Do you think that I wouldn’t be reckless if he were here? If I wanted to kill someone, who could stop me, and who would dare stop me?!”

[...]

“Young Master Wei really is too impulsive. How could he speak in such a way in front of so many sects?”

Lan WangJi spoke coldly, “Was he wrong?”

Jin GuangYao paused almost unnoticeably. He immediately laughed, “Haha. Yes, he’s right. But it’s because he’s right that he can’t say it in front of them, correct?”

Lan XiChen seemed as if he was deep in thought, “Young Master Wei’s heart really has changed.”

(Chapter 72, Exiled Rebels translation)

The only person at this banquet who speaks to Wei Wuxian respectfully is Jin Guangyao, a consummate manipulator who is also of a lower social status. Everyone else speaks to him dismissively, refusing to respect his request for Wen Ning’s location even though he states that Wen Ning helped him during the war. Wei Wuxian is extremely polite at the beginning of this conversation, and only slowly begins to lose his temper when Jin Zixun speaks rudely and Jin Guangshan decides to bring up the matter of the Yinhufu (Wei Wuxian is right in suspecting him of wanting to replace Qishan Wen, of course, and that it’s very bold of them to think they have the right to a spiritual tool of his just because...they’re rich?).

When the sects meet at Koi Tower to discuss the breakout at Qiongqi Path, no one considers Wei Wuxian as an independent agent who they might actually want to meet and negotiate with themselves. He is a wayward servant of Yunmeng Jiang who the sect leader has failed to keep in hand.

Jiang Cheng only spoke after a few moments, “What he did was indeed a bit too much. Sect Leader Jin, I apologize to you in place of him. If there’s any way at all to help the situation, please let me know. I’ll definitely compensate for things however I can.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan, “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Ying is your right-hand man. You value him a lot. All of us know this. However, on the other hand, it’s hard to tell whether or not he actually respects you. In any case, I’ve been a sect leader for so many years and I’ve never seen the servant of any sect dare be so arrogant, so proud. Have you heard what they say outside? Things like how during the Sunshot Campaign the victories of the YunmengJiang Sect were all because of Wei WuXian alone—what nonsense!”

[...]

Lan WangJi sat with his back straight, speaking in a tone of absolute tranquility, “I did not hear Wei Ying say this. I did not hear him express the slightest disrespect towards Sect Leader Jiang either.”

[...]

The good thing was that, not long after he felt awkward, Jin GuangYao came to save the day, exclaiming, “Really? That day, Young Master Wei busted into Koi Tower with such force. He said too many things, one more shocking than the next. Perhaps he said a few things that were along those lines. I can’t remember them either.”

[...]

Jin GuangShan followed the transition, “That’s right. Anyhow, his attitude has always been arrogant.”

One of the sect leaders added, “To be honest, I’ve wanted to say this since a long time ago. Although Wei WuXian did a few things during the Sunshot Campaign, there are many guest cultivators who did more than him. I’ve never seen anyone as full of themselves as him. Excuse my bluntness, but he’s the son of a servant. How could the son of a servant be so arrogant?”

[...]

“In the beginning, Sect Leader Jin asked Wei Ying for the Tiger Seal with nothing but good intentions, worried that he wouldn’t be able to control it and lead to a disaster. He, however, used his own yardstick to measure another’s intents. Did he think that everyone is after his treasure? What a joke. In terms of treasures, is there any sect that doesn’t hold a few treasures?”

“I knew that something would eventually happen if he continued on the ghostly path—look! His killing intents are being revealed already. Killing indiscriminately those from our side just because of a few Wen-dogs…”

[...]

Jin GuangShan continued, “Sect Leader Jiang, you’re not like your father. It’s just been a couple of years since the reestablishment of the YunmengJiang Sect, precisely when you should be displaying your power. And he doesn’t even know to avoid suspicions. What would the Jiang Sect’s new disciples think if they saw him? Don’t tell me you’d let them see him as their role model and look down on you?”

He spoke one sentence after another, striking the iron while it was still hot. Jiang Cheng spoke slowly, “Sect Leader Jin, that’s enough. I’ll go to Burial Mound and deal with this.”

Jin GuangShan felt satisfied, speaking in a sincere tone, “That’s the spirit. Sect Leader Jiang, there are some things, some people that you shouldn’t put up with.”

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

This is very reminiscent of the way that Jin Zixuan would often turn around and say, ‘Why aren’t you controlling your servant?’ to Jiang Cheng whenever he had a dispute with Wei Wuxian over his treatment of Jiang Yanli.

When Jiang Cheng goes to the Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian defects from Yunmeng Jiang in order to help the sect save face, Jiang Cheng treats this as a personal betrayal. He not only challenges Wei Wuxian to a duel but then announces that Wei Wuxian has betrayed Yunmeng Jiang and declared himself the enemy of cultivation society:

After the fight, Jiang Cheng told the outside that Wei WuXian defected from the sect and was an enemy to the entire cultivation world. The YunmengJiang Sect had already cast him out. From then on, no ties remained between them—a clear line was drawn. Henceforth, no matter what he did, they’d have nothing to do with the YunmengJiang Sect!

(Chapter 73, Exiled Rebels translation)

“Wei Wuxian has betrayed the sect, and publicly regards all cultivation sects as enemy! Yunmeng Jiang Sect hereby expels him, breaking all ties with him and drawing a clear line between us. Henceforth, no matter what this person does, it will have nothing to do with Yunmeng Jiang Sect!”

(Modao Zushi Radio Drama, Season 3 Episode 5, Suibian Subs)

Naturally, no one ever questions this or wants to hear Wei Wuxian’s side of the story. Jiang Cheng is a sect leader and Wei Wuxian his servant, and that is all cultivation society needs to know.

In Conclusion

Wei Wuxian was never really part of the Jiang family. The wider social view was that he was a servant who was lucky to be taken in by the family and allowed to live in the main house alongside the sect leader’s children. He’s accepted into cultivation society conditionally, but only as someone who remains a rank below everyone else.

This attitude isn’t just the wider social view which the family themselves disregard; they all play into it. Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Cheng both actively enforce it, Jiang Fengmian passively enforces it, and Jiang Yanli tries but fails to break through the social barriers between them.

[ugh-againwiththenames]

more cursed thoughts...

Hey, so I totally love that we’re all losing our collective minds about the Jensen “solo gold panel on Saturday” Ackles recently…but…has anyone stopped to consider how much of a train-wreck that’s going to be?!

(Below the cut for my long winded thoughts on this...)

The man hasn’t done a solo panel in a while – not in front of a live audience, and he’s not good at them to start with (again, this is nothing against my boy, it’s simply a fact), at least not when he’s sober (and in most cases, even when he’s not!).  He doesn’t like being thrown to the wolves on his own, and you’re fucking lying if you don’t consider yourself a wolf…He gets bitchy when he's asked stupid questions, or questions he can’t or isn’t allowed to answer, and he doesn't handle it well - and he’s going to shut down so fast the moment someone gets through with a Post-Confession question – he’s still not going to choose a side, if you think the boy will alienate a whole side of the fandom to choose a side, you’re wrong.  From a PR standpoint alone, that would be suicide.   I know that we like to live in our little bubble over here (and I will gladly sit in it and manifest along with you) but, regardless of how you cut this, a solo panel is going to be torturous for him.  Everyone is over here, ‘we’re gonna get answers out of Jackles’, my dudes, my friends, my people….no, you’re not, and then you’re going to be even MORE MAD – please please do me a favour and do not HOPE for Jackles to take a stand... It’s not cowardly, and it’s not meant as a slight to either side of the fandom – it’s simply in his best interest to NOT Draw the utter Vitriolic Hatred he would receive by definitively throwing down on either side (even though I’m pretty certain we all know what side that would be).  I understand we want a definitive answer, I really really do, but I cannot bear the idea of him being utterly bastardized if he doesn’t say “yes, it’s reciprocated, Dean loves Cas, you weren’t fucking crazy” verbatim...

More bits and pieces I feel crazy about: 

- Him not speaking about Destiel at cons is NOT his fault, it is Creation’s, please lay your blame in the right place, he’s simply following the rules; and you can be sore about that, but you can’t deny it. The fact that Misha has been talking about it recently is great, but they have not been Creation cons, so let’s all hold our thoughts on that until then...

- If you think that Jensen is unaware of Misha’s chaos, you are nuts, he knows, he approves, and he’s happy to let Misha carry it out.  He’s still liking social media posts, he’s clearly not mad at Misha, which to me, specifically, speaks to the fact that he knows about these posts prior to them being made. Misha would never antagonize Jensen - never intentionally place him in a situation he wouldn’t be comfortable with...please remember that...

- Jackles SM silence speaks louder than words - guys, we know this; it always has - he is CALCULATED - he is NOT ACTIVE on SM!! (AND) He specifically stays away from the thirst traps (the fact that he liked Misha’s bloody shirt post was a shocking anomaly not the norm), and let’s be fair - Misha also does not partake in liking the JA traps (however few and far between they are...3am bathroom selfies for example?).  I would bet my -(ok i have nothing of value, but if i did, I would bet it)- that this is also something that they agreed on together...because it’s actually SO LOUD.

- I said that it would be PR suicide for him to choose a side, and I understand that people are like “so what? he needs to decide where he stands here, and his PR should not take precedence over this” - why?...Because I guarantee you’re about to sound very childish.  He is an actor, in his mid-40′s, trying to accelerate his career after spending 15 years dedicating his life to one show (!) - his SM following (which nearly doubles the following of JPad or Misha, if we look at IG), and his public image are INSANELY important to him. Especially now...Drama is NOT what he needs right now - launching a new production company, acting in a new role, planning a new SPN related show...PR suicide would be disastrous. Chaos? absolutely, Drama? no.  

- We are NOT J2 fans...but guys, HE is part of that side (whether or not he WANTS to be, doesn’t change the fact), regardless of how you break it down.  He is the only member of the group that is SOLIDLY in both sides of the fandom (which, let’s be honest, probably plays a major role in his higher SM following), and he will be utterly CRUCIFIED by one side of the fandom REGARDLESS of where he comes down. It will be bloody, and it will be awful.  Misha has the freedom to say and do what he wants without risking ANY of his fans...and we love him for it, and so does J...*shrug* please do the math here...

Look, I get that no one wants to hear that, and I would LOVE NOTHING MORE than for him to walk out on stage, say – “Yes, it’s reciprocated, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get this fucking show on the road, who’s up?” I want it so badly I can taste it, and I do think that he has hinted at that particular stance a number of times, but I’m soooooo gun-shy about hoping for that possibility to become reality, I cannot in any universe believe that it will happen.  He’s naturally sooooo careful, so pointedly silent on the topic (outside of a few slips over the years), I’m certain that expecting anything less than that would be the definition of insanity for the fandom at this stage.  I will drop dead right here if he ends it spectacularly – I will GLADLY be proven wrong (please, please prove me wrong - get Mish on stage and lay one on him - DO IT), I just don’t want to see Jackles hate if he doesn’t…and that’s the piece I’m scared of, because I can already see the train heading for the brick wall on this...

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I Would Do Anything You Asked Me To

This was supposed to be finished for the #vicficwriterchallenge earlier this month but life got in the way. I liked the prompt and lil fic so I figured I’d post it anyway. This is my first fic in the fandom too x

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer thinks he can hear Y/N moaning his name through the walls. But he has to be imagining things.

Category: Sort of smut, sort of fluff, and a lil teensy bit angsty 

Warnings/Includes: smut, sexual language, voyerism, masturbation (both male and female), please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed

Word count: 2000 words

Masterlist

There’s been tension for a while.

It’s been building steadily and slowly over the past few years. Spencer’s pretty sure it’s all been coming from his end though. Why would Y/N even give him a passing thought in a romantic context, she’d been his best friend from the jump, taken to him the second she’d joined the team. They had the same embarrassing sense of humor, the opposite taste in movies, and nothing but love for each other. But it was strictly platonic. So platonic that they’d bunk together in hotel rooms for most cases, staying up reading in side by side twin beds, or talking nonsense a little too late into the night given they always seemed to have such a long day ahead.

But lately things felt different.

One evening in Kansas Spencer thinks he can hear a faint moaning coming from the bathroom while he’s skimming through a hardback. The walls in this place are bordering on paper thin but he thinks that it sounds like moaning, muffled just a little by the hum of the shower running. When Y/N comes out, steam billowing behind her as she gently dries her hair with a towel, he thinks she looks flushed. He thinks it must just be from the hot air and doesn’t linger on the thought for long.

That is until the following week in Louisiana. The walls are a little thicker but the shower’s definitely not running this time. It’s been shut off for a few minutes when he hears the same breathy moans. And it’s unmistakable when he hears his own name tumbling from her lips, the way she always says it, just, different. When she emerges this time he’s staring her down, without really meaning to.

“Did you call me?” he asks, puzzled. She shakes her head, pulling a confused expression, but the tips of her ears start to glow pink, matching the strap of her bra that he can see falling down her shoulder. God he wishes he hadn’t noticed that.

The next time it happens is markedly different.

It’s in Texas, and Spencer gets to the room late. Not by a lot, but longer than he’d like. One of the officers at the station had some follow up questions that kept him lagging behind the rest of the team. All he wanted in the world was to collapse straight into bed and try and string together at least a few hours of sleep. It’s late so he opens the heavy fire door as gently as he can, pushing it closed behind him softly. He doesn’t want to wake Y/N but it becomes increasingly apparent that there’s no fear of that.

He thinks he can hear her voice, calling out for him, but when he rounds the corner that’s not the case. Y/N is splayed across her bed, legs spread with her hand buried between them. Sweet but filthy moans are falling from her softly parted lips, her eyes screwed shut with intensity as her fingers worked inside of her.

“Fuck” Spencer whispers, it’s quiet and involuntary but he drops his bag on the ground without thinking about it and it lands with a thud. He ducks back around the corner before her eyes open but she stops immediately.

“Spence?” she calls out into what looks like an empty room, “Spence wait!”

“I’m just—” he swallows hard, “I’m gonna shower before I hit the hay” he’s aiming for nonchalance but it comes out somewhere between childish and awkward. If she responds he doesn’t hear, he’s locked the bathroom door behind him in a hurry, slumping against it.

Spencer wants to forget about it, or maybe he doesn’t. He’s carding through the memories as he lets the water trickle over him. Hearing his name echoing around his head just the way she’d moaned it twice now. His hand was braced against the cold tile while he stroked along his hard length, the images of Y/N spread completely across the bed not 2 feet from him with her fingers deep inside herself. Her head falling back against the pillows in ecstasy. He can’t help but think about what she’d been imagining herself.

It doesn’t happen for a while after that.

They hardly speak really, and thankfully for Spencer there’s no need to double up on rooms for a little while. Now he’s just got to get a hold of himself while he’s around her on cases, or in the office. Which wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t sit at the desk opposite him, or the seat next to him on flights. Or if her hair wasn’t so beautiful in the way it cascaded over her shoulders, or worse still, when she gathered it all to one side, exposing the planes of her neck to him while she worked.

Spencer was managing to keep his urges, and his feelings, mostly at bay. But really who was he kidding, they were bubbling just below the surface and they had been for far longer than this had been going on.

In Florida 3 weeks later they’re stuck sharing a room again. Hotch didn’t really give either of them an option this time anyway, why would he presume anything had changed between the two of them. And really it hadn’t, it had just become, awkward?

This became painstakingly clear as they walked into the room together.

“I’ll take this one?” Spencer half-asked as he dropped his go-bag by the edge of the bed nearest the window.

“I’m easy” Y/N responded, walking to the other and sitting on the edge of it, hands resting in her lap. “Spence?” she ventured, it tumbled out of her like a whisper, he almost missed it, so he pretended he did.

“Mind if I grab the first shower?” he asked, without waiting to hear for an answer he made his way into the bathroom. He washed the day off his skin, scrubbing against it harshly with the sad hotel soap out of frustration more than anything else. Y/N had been his best friend for so long, and these complicated feelings didn’t negate that. This friendship was invaluable to him but he’d be kidding himself if he promised he could shake these feelings for good. Everyone he’d ever dated, or thought about dating, no matter how flawless, just wasn’t her. They didn’t have her laugh, her smile, her kindness, the fire inside that she possessed was missing in everyone but her.

Every time she’d even made an allusion to a date with someone his stomach would sink. He wasn’t proud of that but it was true. His heart would ache at the thought of some other man getting to be with her, in any way at all. Of course Spencer and Y/N would go out for dinner, or a movie, or whatever on their days off, but once he was in the privacy of his own room later that evening he’d imagine where they could’ve ended up.

In his bed together, holding each other close. Maybe he’d place soft, sweet kisses all over her cheeks, peppering her neck and jaw with them first thing in the morning. Other times he’d think about how he’d grab her and pull her by her hips, letting his fingernails dig into them as he fucked her from behind, shaking the more precarious items off his desk.

This time however he was thinking about her in that damn hotel room again. Getting herself off and whimpering his name, like maybe she hoped that it wasn’t her fingers but him buried inside her.

When he finally left the bathroom he’d almost hoped she’d be asleep. And prayed that she wouldn’t care enough to ask him whatever question he’d dodged before heading in there. But Spencer had never been a lucky guy.

“Spence?” she called out again, soft and timid. Y/N was in a nightdress, it was small and satin and baby pink, and his shoulders tensed at the sight. He was distracted enough to forget that she was perched, legs crossed, in the centre of his bed.

“Y/N, I’m by the window” he had to force the words out of his ever so slowly closing throat.

“Spence!” she called yet again, harsher this time, trying to get his full attention.

“What!?” it came out a little louder, a little meaner than he meant it to. It was just misplaced frustration. Frustration with himself, with the whole situation, but never at her.

“Sorry Y/N” he breathed, letting his eyes drift closed in a effort to calm his nerves.

“It’s alright” she soothes, bringing herself up to her knees so she can move closer to the edge of the bed. Closer to Spencer. She’s still shorter than him even perched up like this, and he's trying desperately to ignore the way he can just about see down her nightdress with the way she’s kneeling.

“Spencer.” she states his name calmly, “If I had—” she cuts herself off, taking in an unsteady breath. It doesn’t look like it helps all that much. She reaches out to him but pulls back before she can really make any physical contact. Torn.

“Fuck it” she huffs and looks up to make direct eye contact with him now, unwavering, and he’s got no idea where her bravery’s come from all of a sudden, and really neither does she. “That night in Houston” she breaks for just a second, “If I’d asked you to stay, would you?” her eyes remain fixed on his, waiting for a reply that’s stuck deep in his throat.

“Y/N, I—” he shakes his head, “What are you asking?”

Her head falls to the side in a universal gesture for ‘are you kidding me?’

“You know what I’m asking Spencer, I was calling for you, trying” her eyes screw shut as she pinches the bridge of her nose “would you have stayed?” she looks up at him now, her eyes full of uncertainty and what he thinks could be sadness.

Spencer’d been a coward. He knew that already. He’d been a coward from the second he’d noticed these feelings for Y/N, scared that they’d damage their bond, or that she wouldn’t reciprocate. Because really he had no reason to believe anyone would return those sorts of feeling for him, least of all the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. He could scarcely let himself imagine scenarios where she liked him, like that. But here she was, in the flesh, in a fucking satin nightgown offering herself to him. And apparently not for the first time.

Spencer knew he’d been silent for too long, and honestly he didn’t have a verbal answer he could give that wouldn’t be an entire fucking poem. So instead he grabbed her, a strong hand pulling her face to his to engulf her lips in a kiss. Rougher than he probably mean it, his teeth almost clashing with her own as their mouths opened for one another, tongues delving in deeper exploring and working against the other. He could feel the tiny moans she let out vibrating against his lips only encouraging him to prolong the kiss for as long as he could, breathing deeply thorough his nose in the hopes that maybe he’d never have to remove his lips from hers ever again. But Y/N knew better, pulling away gently to look straight into Spencer’s glimmering eyes.

“Would you?” she asks once again, her pout is flushed and almost swollen and he catalogues that image so that he can remember it forever.

“I would do anything you asked me to” It escapes him without thought, and it’s true. And it’s the best he can do right now without pouring out his entire heart and soul in this stupid hotel room.

Masterlist

[thefanficmonster]

Rumors

Corpse Husband x Bimbo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of Slut Shaming, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Tiniest bit of Angst, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When some rumors start floating around, every content creator does their best to either ignore them or defuse the situation. However, sometimes, the fans attempt to do the defusing themselves which only leads to a worse disaster. That’s the case for Corpse whose fans were quick to jump to his protection of some ‘false’ rumors.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request, it was a joy to write. I’m sorry for how long it has taken me to complete and post the fic but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy reading it at least half as much as I enjoyed writing it! Love, Vy ❤

Corpse cracks his knuckles, then his shoulders, then his collarbone, then the his neck. He clenches his jaw as he breathes steadily and rhythmically, trying to control an overwhelming wave of anger that he has never felt before. This is a situation he’s never had to deal with nor did he ever think he’d have to deal with and address on a fucking livestream on top of all, but here he is now, doing his best to count to ten and not go on a Twitter responding spree, calling people out on their bullshit. He wanted to do so, he still wants to, but he was stopped in his intentions and brought to a calm mindset where he was swayed into dealing with this the civil way and not by roasting the fuck out of any and every foul-mouthed person he’s seen on his Twitter timeline.

He can’t really guarantee and civility during the stream either, he’s aware his tolerance is as thin as a stretched out, old rubber band and is a slight tug away from snapping and allowing him to unleash hell on these people because of who he’s been seeing red these past few days. 

Let’s not risk a misunderstanding here - Corpse absolutely loves and adores his fans, but seeing this behavior from them is quite upsetting and disappointing. When he uses the terms like ‘assholes’, ‘jerks’ and ‘rude motherfuckers’ he isn’t referring to them. He knows they are good people, but are using the completely wrong tactic of defending him, not to mention he doesn’t even need defending. Even if he did, he’s more than capable of doing it on his own and not getting other people involved.

“Hello everyone, hope you’re doing well.“ He finally settles on saying, officially kicking off the stream. If there’s any indicator of the serious nature of this stream, it’s probably the lack of lo-fi and the lack of even attempted playfulness and cheeriness in his voice. That’s how you know shit isn’t to be messed around about. “I just realized I didn’t specify what I’ll be doing in the Tweet, but I’ll tell you now, so those who aren’t interested in the subject or want to steer clear of the drama can leave. However, I wouldn’t advise clicking off considering this will be an overall, how do I say this, rant, of sorts? It’s meant to knock some sense in the people who have been spreading hate for a specific person on all social media platforms she’s active on.“

The majority of the viewers are already familiar with the subject, some even guilty of spreading the hate Corpse mentioned, but there are a few that are completely clueless - the ones actually not interested in online drama, not just saying they ‘hate drama’. With those people in mind, Corpse takes to addressing the issue from its very beginning.

“So, for a month now, me and this streamer, who’s also a TikTok star, by the name of Y/N have been interacting a lot on social media. She’s an incredibly sweet girl that a lot of people have prejudice towards. She’s very misjudged and misunderstood because people see he solely as her content, if that makes sense. They only know she’s that streamer who wears revealing clothes on her streams and posts risqué pictures on her Instagram. Like, no.“ Corpse cannot even fully believe he has to address this and that slut-shaming people is still a thing in the twenty-first century. He closes his eyes for a moment, fist tightening and his knuckles turning white, “I don’t understand how so many people can be so shallow and just plain jerks towards her in general, but then again - this is especially for my fans, the members of my fandom - I don’t understand the need you guys feel to put Y/N down to defend me from some ridiculous rumors as if it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with people talking shit for attention or to get someone canceled.“ He sighs, reminding himself to slow his roll as to not confuse any viewers who still don’t know the full story, “Anyway, back to the timeline of events. So, considering we’ve never interacted before, all the replying to comments, retweeting, liking posts and whatever sparked some dating rumors. Isn’t that just fucking hilarious - you see two people interacting on social media and the first thing that comes to mind is that they’re in a romantic relationship. Where did the friendship go? Does no one value or consider friendships to be a valid type of human relation anymore?“ He runs a hand through his hair, making another pause to clear his mind and prevent his frustration from overflowing. He promised he wouldn’t lose his cool and would remain calm and collected, but the more he talks about it the tighter he clenches his fist and the faster his heartrate is. His neck and ears are red from the tension he feels all over, almost like he’s physically restraining a raging wild animal and not just his own thoughts and emotions.

There’s layers to his anger, the lower ones - aka the ones he’s yet to get to - will be a nightmarish test of his self-control, he already knows it. Judging by how much of a toll this rant has already taken on him, his patience and control growing thinner and thinner, he’s not sure how he’ll power through the last layers without his voice raising awfully high in volume and his fists searching for some object to punch. To an ignorant eye, his reaction would seem exaggerated and overboard, but little does that ignorant eye know...

“When some of my fans saw those rumors, they reacted very badly. It was quite disappointing to see. Guys, I appreciate you standing up for me even though you shouldn’t do that - I can defend myself, not that this was a matter I needed defending from to begin with. But just the way some of you went about it was horrifically wrong and quite upsetting, to me but especially to Y/N herself.“ He can feel it, the aggravation growing, bubbling up in his chest, “What I saw disgusted me, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. The things some of you were saying...I couldn’t believe you are in fact the same people who are my fans, my lovely fans who I’ve always thought so highly of. Never did I think you could be able of slut-shaming so vulgarly and grossly, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.“

He has every right to be upset - the things being said about Y/N were truly awful and a lot of things being said were meant to defend Corpse and defuse the rumors, doing so while stomping all over Y/N and her content. Rightfully so, many of her fans were outraged and quick to jump to her defense but were unfortunately outnumbered, leading Corpse to believe not many of her fans are actually real or as dedicated as his which only fueled his fury further.

Anyway, let’s take a look at Y/N’s point of view. Being a content creator for as long as she has, refusing to change her style no matter how many people disagreed and insulted her about it, she’s grown quite used to people spitting insults at her on every social media possible. It’s sad how throughout the majority of her content creating career she’s only had haters, creeps and fake fans watching her videos and streams. Rare are those in her fandom who’d actually stick up for her and defend her in ‘scandals’ such as this one. However, no amount of experience with dealing with hate could have prepared her for this outpour of some of the meanest shit she’s ever heard and been called in her life.

Y/N likes the content she makes, she’s comfortable in her skin and loves her body. She loves showing it off too and nor she nor anyone who wants that deserves to be shamed for who they are and what they do, especially when they aren’t hurting anyone and their content is still appropriate. People have always bashed her for all elements of who she is: her appearance, her clothing style, her streams, her gaming skills, her voice on occasion. She can count the instances when she’s received positive feedback on the fingers of her hands which would depress anyone else but not her. She’s always created content for her own amusement and entertainment so people’s opinions never really bothered her. Until now, until this very drama that has hit a specific nerve, an insecurity of hers she’s never talked about. The comments such as:

(Vy Speaking: Comments containing slut-shaming ahead, go to ### if you want to skip)

“Corpse would never date a slut like her“

“Corpse dating this thot? Please internet stop being ridiculous“

“Corpse ain’t a pimp, y’all need to chill“

“Even if they datin they gon break up soon - whore stays a whore“

###

bothered her far more than she’d like to admit. She has no one to open up about it either, she knows what she’ll get in response if she does - she’ll be told it’s her fault. Her fault because of the way she dresses, the way she talks and acts, because she chose this career to begin with. All her fault. The only person she can turn to she refuses to because she doesn’t want to be a bother - not after so many people confirmed her worries that she’s not good enough for him already anyway, the least she can do is avoid bothering him the best she can.

And that is exactly why this has upset Corpse so much.

“Here’s a little message specifically meant for those who claimed I’d never date someone like Y/N or specifically Y/N. You better listen carefully: Don’t you ever, and I mean EVER slut-shame my girlfriend or any other person ever. I cannot believe I have to explicitly remind you that your behavior isn’t ok. You should fucking know that your behavior isn’t right and that you’re a massive piece of shit for saying those awful things about others you judge solely on appearance and clothing. Does it surprise you that I am, in fact, dating Y/N? If you say yes for the reason you think she’s not good enough for me or that I deserve better, please get the fuck out of my fandom. No one disrespects my girl and gets away with it. That’s final!“

Though still under the influence of a flurry of negative emotions, overhearing Corpse literally telling people to exclude themselves from his fandom for being mean to her, Y/N’s taking a step towards emotional recovery knowing her boyfriend will always have her back. He’ll always be there to prove people wrong, defend her and stand by her. He’ll be there to catch her when the hate knocks her off her feet.

But most importantly: he’ll never ask her to change. Not her style, not her clothes, not her personality, nothing. He fell for her the way she is and for who she is, and he will never allow anyone to try to change her either. For someone who’s never had much support all her life, a single speck of support overpowers all the hate within the blink of an eye. Corpse will always be her knight in shining armor, the knight who defeated all the hateful demons by just entering her life. And though she’s still struggling with the ‘Am I good enough for someone so wonderful?’ and ‘He deserves better, doesn’t he?’ questions, with his hand holding hers, she’ll never let those doubts and insecurities overpower her.

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[80s4life]

Gullible

Word Count: 3,970

Status: Requested!

Ask: I'm a sucker for him anyway LOL. And please write more of him! 

@: @violetoquinn54​

Fandom: Back To The Future Series

Relationship: Biff Tannen x Violet O’Quinn (Not my OC)

Summary: They had their fights, they had their agreements. They had their prejudices and they had their prides. They had their reputations and their futures. But, even when they’re so different, yet so alike, why do they always manage to find each other after pushing themselves away?

Warnings: language, fighting, alcohol consumption, weed and cigarettes, lewd jokes, slightly angsty, implied sexua activities/assault, mentioned deaths, slight bullying (on Violet’s part and her short temper)

Masterlist Back To The Future Masterlist

{gif is not mine, credits go to @brooklynpa-c​}

“Mhm. Mhm. Mhm,” Violet nods, victory curls bobbing as she exaggerates her movements. She wasn’t particularly listening anyway, placing and pinning bits of different fabrics on her plush mannequin. 

It was the same tale, Lorraine droning on and on about boys, particularly the invincible Biff Tannen, and how either none or all of them want her; it really depends on the day it seems. Violet tries her best to balance the corded phone on her shoulder, eyebrows scrunching as she tries to wrap her creative brain around the style she’s aiming for.

Sighing, she places the container of pins down, settling her easily bubbling nerves as she feels the frustration itch underneath her skin. Reaching in her back pocket, she pulls out a cancer stick, placing the thin roll of crushed drugs between her heavily dyed lips, flicking the lighter for a match.

Inhaling the thick cloud of nicotine, she feels her nerves begin to ease, perching herself on her window sill. Allowing the smoke to escape out and into the warm breeze of summer, she finally decides to indulge Lorraine in a little bit of attention, finally zoning in on the topic. 

“He’s just so... so ignorant,” Lorraine sputters, recounting Biff’s attitude towards her earlier today. 

“It’s not something he usually doesn’t already do, Lo. He’s had the hots for you since we were at least fucking five,” Violet flicks the burnt ash at the butt of the cigarette.

“Yes, but why must he pester me everyday?” she groans, Violet joining her as she knows this’ll bring on another onslaught of complaints.

Pretending to check her watch, she chokes on the puff she inhaled, the time reading 11:45 pm. “Hey Lo, I know you’re all riled up and ready to beat him down to a stump, but we should sleep at some point.”

Violet hears a rustle and a sigh before Lorraine speaks again, “Yeah, like you sleep anyway.”

Violet snorts, feigning offense by gasping, “Don’t you know I need precisely 8 hours of beauty sleep? A minute more or a minute less would give me bags under my eyes, and - oh - the stress. It’ll break my schedule and surely mess with my hair growth!”

Lorraine giggles as Violet smirks to herself, the pair knowing all too well who she’s mocking. Sure, to some this would be cruel, but if you’d spent at least 5 minutes with Magenta O’Quinn, you’d instantly understand where the drama checks out.

“Besides,” Violet heaves after a good bout of breathy giggles, “We do need to sleep if we plan on going to the Weston Annual Party.” Violet’s face shines in mischief just thinking about the possibilities; she hadn’t had much fun this year with the inheritance, family business, and trying to somewhat stay grounded with decent grades at school.

Maybe she could even branch out, given it’s her last year. Maybe even move on from the familiar broad-shouldered, blue-eyed boy she oftentimes finds sneaking into her room more times than she could count.

“Are you sure you want to get caught up in that mess, Vi? You know who’s gonna be there and you know how he gets with his alcohol,” Lorraine twirls the cord of her phone between her fingers, brain swiping through all the endless scenarios in her head.

“Trust me, ain’t no one messin’ with you there Lorraine. And, if he tries it, he’s never met Violet O’Quinn on a bad day, especially if he thinks he’ll ruin my one night out,” Violet flicks her cigarette out the window, closing it with the lock at the top as she stretches to close the curtains, too. “God knows I need it,” she mutters, staring at the stars outside.

“If you say so, Vi,” Lorraine yawns, “Anyway, we really do need to head to bed. I don’t want my Pops hollering.”

“Alrighty, good night Lorraine,” Violet draws in her signature Southern accent, making sure to talk long and slow to give her one last laugh. 

Putting the phone back on the holster, Violet takes a moment to stare at her bed; fluffy, untouched pillows and comforter begging her in with warm arms. Then, slowly, she turns towards the array of mannequins, and with a defeated sigh, her hands find the container of pins again, inspiration spiking once more as she gets lost on her new design.

She couldn’t recall when she’d passed out, but with the horrendous banging and yelling on the other side of her bedroom door, she finds herself jolting up from the cool of her hardwood flooring. Painfully, she hisses upon rubbing her face, pulling one of her pins out of her cheek. “Damn,” she hisses, little dabbles of blood percolating at the small pinprick.

“Violet! Let’s go!” more banging pursues, angering Violet in the slightest bit as she tries to wake up peacefully.

“I’m...Up!” she hollers back.

“Come on, Violet, we only have 5 minutes or you’re gonna be late!” Rusty calls from the door.

“Shit!” Scrambling to her feet, she slides across the flooring with the rest of her pins from the night before, mentally cursing herself for not allowing her the simplest task of just going to sleep for once. 

Searching through her clothes, she finds a dark pair of roughed up, denim jeans, rolling the bottom cuffs to allow her boots some wiggle room. Sliding into a white T-shirt, she ties the bottom in a knot, rolling up the tight sleeves and tucking her pack of cigarettes there, completing the outfit with a black belt.

She would’ve gone for something more Violet inspired, but she really had no time to worry about the little things. Lunging for her door, she makes sure to lock it behind her, shuffling down the slim staircase behind a wall, allowing her out of her comfy attic-bedroom-turned-loft.

She grabs her bag at the kitchen counter, catches the side-wandering gaze of her envious younger twin. To make matters worse, Violet steals the toast on her plate before scurrying off to the front door and on the bus before Magenta has the chance to catch her. Opening the window, Violet sticks her head out, “It wouldn’t be so hard to run if you weren’t wearing 10 inch heels, Priss.”

...

“Violet!” the high-pitched girly voice calls after you from the other end of the hallway.

Shoving the rest of her books into her locker, she half-salutes the girl in the huge dress as if to signal she’s coming. Satisfied with what she’s taking and leaving for the weekend, she shuts the locker, places the lock and messes with the numbers, walking down the hall to meet the three teenagers at the end.

Violet tries to ignore the looks she’s given, she has for her whole life. Before her parents’ passings, she was the spoiled Priss who couldn’t manage to even look feminine; unless it was for fashion advice, then Violet was useful and the greatest thing Hill Valley’s ever seen. After the deaths, the looks were mixtures of knowing glances, disgust, and to be made fun of. Either way, she was simply...weird.

“Looking good, Shortcake,” the infamous mountain of a man cat-calls.

“Not too bad yourself,” Violet smiles, taking a small detour to indulge him in conversation. Had it been anyone else, Violet would’ve ripped them a new one, truly wish they’d never spoken or even learned how to talk in the first place. Biff Tannen was special, however.

“I heard from a little birdie that you’re gonna show up to the beer blast tonight,” he smirks, making eye contact with a very disturbed and flustered Lorriane that accidentally catches his eyes.

“That little birdie would be correct,” she states with a neutral expression, hand coming up to his cheek and moving his face back to train his eyes on her. “Though, it’s very rude to speak to someone without the respect of talking directly to them. I’da have to slap you for that one.”

“I wouldn’t be too mad about a little love tap, Shortcake,” he smirks, catching her hand in his lightly, despite his reputation.

As quickly as their hands meet is as quick as she pulls away, hand coming back to hide underneath her books, cradling it to her chest. Suddenly, her foot becomes more interesting than his cute face, shuffling her shoe around as if to look for dirt smudges.

Lifting her chin with his index finger, Biff leans in just the tiniest bit, “I expect to see you there.” 

His sentence comes more off as a demand than a question, to which Violet nods with the slightest of a tint in her cheeks, green eyes finding his blue ones to make an unspoken, and rather unneeded, promise.

Scurrying off, her elbow is pulled by Lorraine, “Took you long enough! Come on, us girls are going to find outfits for tonight!”

“Lo, please, I don’t need to be taken on this extravagant shopping trip just for us to end the night with spilled beer, puke, and dirt all over us.” 

“First off, ew. Secondly, we need your creative tastes!” Lorraine begs, grabbing Violet’s bag to place it in the back seat of her topless convertible. 

Begrudgingly, Violet hops over the car door to sit in the back diagonal of Lorraine in the driver’s seat, side-glancing Babs as she gags way too obviously. “I saw that,” she all but snarls in warning.

Babs straightens in her seat quickly, looking the other direction as Betty rides shotgun. Both girls share a look between themselves and before they have time to check themselves, Violet shuts them down, “I saw that shit, too.” Pulling out another cigarette, Violet lights it and continues, “I also know that neither of you wanted me here,” she smirks viciously, “You aren’t too good at hiding it. I know I was only invited for Lorraine, however, you’re gonna need me if you think you’re gonna be a showstopper tonight. Hell, even a makeover, if possible.”

Easily, both girls take offense and open their mouths in surprise, Lorraine choosing to appear as if she hadn’t heard anything, and Violet blowing a puff of smoke into Babs’ face with a devilish glint in her eye; she accomplished her mission in getting back at them, she didn’t need to say anything more.

...

The shopping, even as entertaining as it was, gave Violet quite the laugh and exhaustion throughout the two hours of being there with the other girls. So much so that she divulged herself in an hour’s nap in order to recharge. She didn’t buy anything that afternoon, no, she had made something better, something much more extravagant.

Standing in the center of her bedroom was a single mannequin, plain except for the outfit bestowed upon it and begging to be worn. Hand-sewn was a cropped tee, the sleeves and edges worn and roughed out to appear used and almost dirty. A crisp white with the word “BITCH” bolded in a deep black. Riding high up to the waist was a black, white, grey, and purple plaid pair of trousers; Violet’s personality shining through with the double belts on the top that hang low to the knees, two zippers on the kneecap and lower thigh and matching set on the pockets and very ends of the ankles. To top off the look, there was a black beanie and purple long sleeved shirt underneath the T-shirt.

Once woken up and prepared for the party, Violet wore the outfit like a badge of honor, one of her greatest works to come by. Before leaving, she added her black boots and grabbed her spiked black denim jacket to sling over her shoulder.

...

Waltzing into the party with a dark pair of shades, Violet quickly feels the overcrowding of people get to her, almost as if she’s becoming claustrophobic. Taking a red solo cup, she fills if with beer ans chugs it fast, refilling the next cup in desperate need to feel the tension in her shoulders leave. It’s been too long since she’s been in a public setting like this, and now that she’s here, all she can feel is the worry and stress of the days to follow this night.

“Ah, fuck it,” she groans, discarding the cup somewhere on the floor to find something stronger. Walking around the house, she finds the living room, people of many kinds either drinking, dancing, making out, smoking, or playing games.

Leaning against the door frame, she observes the people lost in the moment; she used to be a friend of those feelings, so care-free and happy, knowing that one night couldn’t possibly mess with her plans ahead. She was a kid then, a few months changing her almost simultaneously, and now an adult is left behind feeling like she’s missed so much.

Kids cheer in the corner, the familiar game of beer pong causing her to laugh as the poor boy passes out with the sheer amount of shots he was forced to consume. Violet almost considers joining in, but the tap at her shoulder pulls her from her thoughts swiftly.

“There you are!” Lorraine screams, trying to be heard over the loud music.

“Here I am!” Violet calls back with a smile, “Enjoying the party so far?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing!” she smiles, stumbling a little, “I’m having the time of my life! I’m talking to this boy, he’s real sweet!”

Violet nods questioningly, taking in the lack of details and obvious state of her friend, “How much have you had to drink, Lo? Who have you been hanging around with?”

“Roy! Come on, let’s go meet him!” she steals Violet’s forearm, tugging firmly.

“I-I don’t know, Lorraine!”

“Stop being such a wet end, just relax! Roy’s reeeeaalllyyy cool and he’s been such the charmer.”

Violet staggers a bit, staring at Lorraine slightly taken back, following the drunken woman weakly’ her mind working 100 miles a minute and not liking the odds of what this boy seems to be trying to obtain from her friend.

Strolling up to a group of loud boys and girls leaving not a bit of their bodies to the imagination, Lorraine calls out to the boy she spoke so highly of just moments before. “Roy, I want you to meet my friend, Violet O’Quinn.”

“Roy Holtz.” He stood tall and broad, shoulders squared and arms displayed nicely underneath his tight muscle shirt, dark blue skinny jeans displaying his package to what only he feels is a show-stopper. He looks Violet up and down from head to toe, the stupid toothpick bobbing around with the continuous movements of her tongue and grinding of teeth.

“Oh, great, a true charmer,” Violet rolls her eyes, crossing her arms to display a sense of unwant and protection, defensive.

“I don’t think your friend likes me too much, Lorraine,” he giggles, “Why don’t you come and hang out with me instead, huh? I can show you a fun time.”

“Lorraine isn’t going anywhere with you, Dick.”

“Oh no, and why’s that?” he snarls, stepping up to be almost chest to chest with a much shorter Violet, her 5′2″ stature being no match to Roy’s 10 inch difference. “You want some of me instead, is that it? You jealous she’s getting my attention?

Shoving him away from her with the tips of her fingers, she looks him dead in the eye, “You’re stepping on the wrong toes if you think you’re gonna get lucky with her tonight, you hear me? You’re severely mistaken if you think you’re gonna do so much as even touch her.”

“Oh, look at the mouth on you,” Roy advances towards her again, Lorraine being long forgotten. “Just imagine all the wonders it can do,” his hands snake around to grip her ass firmly, giving it a nice squeeze.

Quickly, Violet’s hand balls into fists at her sides, shoving him off of her with immense anger. Roy falls back at the force of her and, with a few shuffled steps, Roy gathers himself with an almost matched anger. “You Bitch,” he spits, scolding the girl for her defiance.

“Fuck you,” she spits at him, saliva gathering all over his eyes.

Her actions, albeit greatly intended to piss him off, are greatly regretted as Roy cocks back his arm, fist colliding with Violet’s face before she has the chance to dodge it. Staggering back with a hand to her jaw, her vision quickly shines red, body lowering to tackle the taller guy, shoulder jabbing into his stomach to throw him off balance.

Lunging on top of him, Violet’s hands land endless blows to Roy’s face, pummeling him to the ground. Snatching her elbow just as she goes to land another punch, Roy pins it back in a painful angle, throwing her body off of his as he goes to switch their positions, a fist flying into her nose intentionally. 

Somewhere, in his sick mind, his desire to see her bleed grew as the first hit didn’t quite break her nose. Her eyes tear up as another blow was thrown directly after the last, a small dabble of blood finding the rim of her nose as she feels the audible crack. 

Knee hiking up from underneath Roy, Violet aims for the groin, missing but managing to use it as a block. Pushing up again, her knee pushes Roy off her once more, hand grabbing his arm and pinning it behind his back. Sitting on top of the boy again, Violet pushes the arm high enough to earn a pained cry, other hand fisting his hair to bring his head back.

Forcing him to look her in the eyes, green eyes devoid of any emotion, she all but snarls, “You ever think of using another girl again, I’ll know about it. When you think of harming them, you’ll think of me.” Violet forces her hand down, smashing Roy’s head into the pavement below them before forcing his head back again, “Do I make myself clear?”

He nods.

“I said, ‘Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?’”

“Y-Yes. Yes, ma’am.”

“That’s what I thought. Let this embarrassment be your warning, hm?”

“Yes.”

Dubbing his fear an earned win, Violet lets the boy go with the drop of his head, removing herself from on top of him. Standing above him, her eyes find the crowd that had formed around them, suddenly feeling the center of everyone’s attention. Looking for Lorraine, she watches as the girl makes a run for it, Violet quickly tearing through the crowd to chase after her, “Lorraine!”

Lorraine makes a break for the sliding glass door of the patio in the backyard, turning around momentarily to remark how close Violet was getting, eyes widening as her eyes catch something from behind. “Violet!” she calls, Roy getting up and gaining on Violet once more.

However, her warning was too late, Roy tackling Violet again, throwing her head into the pavement just as he head, only he repeats the actions multiple times. Just as Violet feels her head spin and vision start to display stars, all actions stop. 

Lazily, her head turns towards her side, just catching the end of Roy’s continued war. A swift blow effectively knocks all sense of consciousness out of him, the tall victor standing above him like a waking nightmare. Fully aware of the damage he’s done, he stares at his knuckles, then turns to meet Violet’s eyes.

“You love getting yourself into trouble, huh?” Biff’s warm and deep voice paves a way through Violet’s clouded mind, huge arms coming to wrap around her limp body.

“Pervert deserved it,” she mumbles, eyes heavily lidded with the awaiting bruising and pain, adrenaline starting to run low.

“I know,” he smirks, opening the sliding door and walking you up the stairs to the bathroom in his friend’s room. “Sometimes you need to pace yourself, though. You almost didn’t make it through this one.”

“I knew you’d come to the rescue,” Violet smirks, allowing Biff to place her on the sink to get a better look at the damage.

“It’s still stupid, Tex. You don’t have to assert your dominance over every guy.”

Violet laughs, eyes closing at Biff pats the warm wash cloth over her eyes and forehead, wiping up the blood. “It’s not my fault they have shrimp dicks.”

“Guess that means I don’t have a shrimp dick then, huh?” he smiles widely.

“Oh hush,” Violet giggles, cheeks just dusting with a red tint.

“I’m serious though, Tiny, you could’ve gotten extremely hurt,” Biff’s hand finds her chin again, lifting her head with the intent of meeting her eyes and further exaggerating his point.

Suddenly, Violet feels the air shift, smile leaving her lips to show her full attention, “I know, Biff, but I had him. He was trying to use Lorraine and - I don’t know, I-”

“You felt the need to protect her,” he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah because I care for her. She’s my friend.”

Biff sighs amused, “Tex, why do you think I’m always here to end your fights for?”

Violet’s eyes widen at the question, both confusion and awe causing her walls to fall down and collapse around her. “I-I don’t know.”

“Well I ain’t taking punches just because I’m your friend, Tex.”

Violet gasps again, “Are you saying you have feelings? Biff Howard Tannen, are you saying you care about me?

“Well, I’m still here, ain’t I? I haven’t strayed like everyone else has.”

“So, you do then. Even with all of our fighting and bickering? The constant one-upping?”

“Are you really gonna make me say it, Tiny?”

“I think I need a little clarifying,” Violet grins, face slowly inching forwards.

Biff finds himself lowering his body, hands on either side of Violet’s thighs on the sink, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Violet O’Quinn.”

“You wouldn’t want it any other way, Tannen.”

Lips colliding in a passionate frenzy, Violet’s hands wrap around the huge man’s neck, hand playing with the hair at the base of his neck. Biff’s tongue drags along the bottom of her lip, begging for entrance, but in Violet’s defiance and typical teasing, she doesn’t allow him access. Groaning, his teeth nibble at her lip, encouraging a gasp that lets his tongue slide in freely.

Quietly, Violet whimpers, legs widening to allow Biff to step in closer, his hands lifting to cup her jaw carefully. With the begging of their lungs, the pair pull away with labored breaths, Biff capturing Violet’s bottom lip in her teeth for a moment before pulling away, foreheads colliding against one another’s.

“I love you, Tex.”

“I know you do, Tannen,” Violet giggles, another groan meeting her as his head falls in the crook of her neck. Slowly picking his head up with her hands, she watches as he molds to her like putty, face nuzzling into her palms. “And, that’s why I love you, too.”

“Don’t say the ‘too’ at the end... makes it sound like you’re agreeing with me,” he smirks, eyes trained on her face with adoration.

“I love you, Biff Tannen.”

“There it is,” he smiles, leaning in for another kiss.