#trying to remind myself of the good things going on right now too
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I'm so sorry to hear that you're not doing great Q ! I totally understand though, the beginning of the year can really be tough on your brain for some reason. I truly know what it's like to deal with rough depression months, and I hope those dark days will pass as soon as possible for you <3 It's good that you're working on things at least, sometimes that's all we need to get us through another day.
Just know that you are loved and appreciated, no matter what 💪
Sending you lots of hugs and head pats Q !!! Things will get better (this is a threat) <3
waaa thank you so much thats so sweet <33
Yeah this time of year is always difficult for me for personal reasons and every year i think itll get easier but it never does unfortunately so here we are. Hopefully one day it will be easier but i did start something for this exact reason as a distraction and im determined to finish it in time even if i feel like shit pffft
Sending you many hugs back and my current energy levels mean im struggling with food but i'm still gonna hand you a bowl of potato leek soup <33
#asks#nekrosmos#you're too kind mate really this felt like a warm hug thank you <3333#no matter how shitty i feel food is still my love language even if its not as elaborate as it usually is#im hoping life gets easier soon i want to be able to do things properly again#i have been working on some cool stuff though not just writing so at least my hobbies are thriving lol#and work is going super super well so ill take that#trying to remind myself of the good things going on right now too#gotta remember that it will get better even if it doesnt feel like it :/
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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it went fine yesterday btw :}
#Robin processes emotions on main#sometimes I freak out like a chihuahua and then actually have a good time. these things are typical in the life of ur local robin#we talked about our lives instead of our Interests and it was fine ! I think I did good. we commiserated about the post-college woes#I got re-reminded how rough my life is right now and cried a little but like in a good way. and I'll make it. we'll both make it#today I made a bucket list of churches to try (By Myself) and places to visit around town#(clutching my head staggering upright) did you guys know th.that childhood parentification can majorly mess you up#man do I need therapy. like. soon I think#also a steady job and my own apartment but let's not get ahead of ourselves. haha. sorry let me rephrase:#I'm GOING to get a job and move out eventually and it will be GOOD. and in the meantime I will make living here good too dangit#anyway so yeah I just forgot that this particular friend is good for Processing Life with instead of Enjoying Stories with#that was my issue last time.#although last time wasn't a Failure on my part. I was just exhausted and I Couldn't process life last time. no energy for that#I didn't feel safe enough to do that so all I had to fall back on was my interests and it just didn't click. such things happen#anyway I'm logging back out now but thank you everyone for the encouragement :') it really helped and I'm gonna keep on truckin'
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad#i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over#and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away#i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine#but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing#right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it#i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever#i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol#every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone#when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad#i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like#it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to#i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time#i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good#i don’t know why anyone keeps me around#sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person#the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable#i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all#i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself#like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time#i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day#and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess#it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk#anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better#sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine
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I wiped out so hard tonight my KNEES
#I fell over. so many times. including two of the worst falls I’ve had in a WHILE#god the first one literally like minute and a half on the ice i lose a foot under me and do the splits. crash into the barriers#I am notably Not flexible I cannot do the splits. I don’t know how I kept skating afterwards#the worst fall I have ever had however was right at the end and the thing that made me get off#we were playing a thing and both me and this other guy we’re trying to catch this girl who turned out to be Also going very fast#three way collision all falling forwards on top of each other#we SLID there were BLADES BY MY HEAD im lucky im short im amazed nobody got actually hurt#except like. my knees which are now staging a coup I rlly should ice them but I don’t have ice and I just wanna sleep#but GOD tonight was a mixed bag#i have acquired the instagram and will probably get him on committee if he sends me the thing#also slowly thinking hrm yeah he’s probably straight#anyway good news: i think we’re pretty solidly friends now. bad news: prooobably regrettably heterosexual#idk straight guys shouldn’t be allowed to be cute and funny and good at skating it’s not fair#aaaanyway. it’s my own fault bc I meet most new people through hockey now and this sport is pretty notoriously not queer#it’s a little different here but the people who end up Good are largely not yknow. and I am unfortunately into guys who can skate#also they end up being the people I actually get to talk to with what I do. dumb as hell. they should invent gay hockey players#anyway my assessment is still vibes based there’s time for me to be proven wrong but we will see. it’d be funny if he was queer after this#will think abt texting him on a day that isn’t tomorrow bc tomorrow’s gonna be too much and I would like to have some time to chill sometime#anyway this is my periodic reminder to myself that I’m literally just Allowed to have feelings. fucked up that it’s true#but like it’s just. allowed. and it’s not even that I’m dumb or have bad taste or smth like that and over like what.#almost two years? there have been 5 guys total. mr prick who WAS queer unfortunately. and while the other four did turn out to be straight#that was due to 1. guy literally had rainbow fucking stick tape and Everyone thought he was gay. also I was just kinda fucking around there#2. talked to him like three times before asking him out. agrees to dinner bc he thinks it’s funny. 3. many signals bc bunch of queer friends#still unconfirmed but be does have a girlfriend ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 4. okay maybe I should know better by now but he’s cute okay I’m allowed to hope#it’s not even like I’ve DONE anything other than talk to him dude you’re fine you’re allowed to feel things#aaaanyway. bed now. eepy. will talk to him later. he complimented my hair okay I’m done now going to sleep#very sorry to anyone who reads these tags for just going on abt this guy but also no I’m not scroll down#luke.txt
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venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍
haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(
#going to try and stay awake until lunch at least and yhen maybe ill take a nap. but i need to be able to sleep rpoperly tonight#at least i know im only feeling depressed bc my period is due which means my meds dont work how they should#like its kind of weird n psychologically interesting to feel so depressed again suddenly bc i havent been at all lately#well theres not much i can do abt feeling sick and in pain but ill take it easy. wasnt planning on leaving the house today anyway#and i do need to find a way to talk to ppl abt shit im struggling to communicate bc it really does bother me. and i dont want to do this#im tired of keeping everything in and wound so tightly i just want to feel seen and safe around someone please. please 🥹#its all well n good getting along with people better than i rver havebut if they still wont support me when im going through it#then it fades into shallowness like our friendship still has value. but im unable to feel close to them or safe around them#and right now im glad im doing so well im glad of so manynthings but its so scary to know that if i start doing bad again there is#noone and nothing there to catch me i dont have anything in the way of a safety net just myself. so better not fall 👍#and irs been makinf me feel so horrible lately bc my mum has been trying to emotionally drpend on me again and its making me feel like#when i was a teenager again and i was fighting for my fucking life against what i didnt know was mental illness and i had no outlet and#nowhere to go and i wanted to die so badly and meanwhile everyone around me was completely unaware and making me handle all of their#emotional issues and i was trapped there absorbing everyone elses damage and not being able to express mine and thankfully i didnt kill#myself and i got out and ive gotten so much bettee and worse and better sinxe and how i feel now is nothing like that really but im just#being reminded of it a lot and how hard expressing myself is and sometimes it feels like ive made so little progress#in thetorture labyrinth out here. but i dont want to do this forever i need to get better at expressing i just need people to support me#but i feel unsupported its like thin ice. but its alsonmy fault for not trusting. i dontnknowwwww.#maybe when i dont have to pay for private meds anymore and when i get this raise at the end of the year ill try therapy again#i dont think itll solve the issue bc its the ppl i care abt in my life that i need to be able to talk to. but maybe i can get some#better tools to help me be able to do that. i dontnknow i dont want to think about it anymore actually im going to go do smth else#sorry for venting its been a really nice weekend genuinely feeljng so good in general atm. and yeah i still struggle with the same things#but generally ive been handling their effect on my mental health so much better!!!! like im still feeling okay regardless of them#but they are still there and i will need to go from tolerating them to dissolvjng them at some point if i want to feel okay long term#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!#working on my shit is a fucking lifelong project....as im sure it is for everyone else too. all of our first time on planet earth#we will get through yhis. and anyway how i feel now is super temporary jsut triggered by a few thingsand ill keep reacting to them this#way until i managr to properly resolve them properly instead of folding them nicely and tucking them out of view#bleugh. okay yeah thats enough for now. meds softening the edges too ive stopped crying which is smth#chilling for a bit n then im going to watch some tv or a movie and iron and polish my boots and after lunch i might draw. or not we'll see
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Flossing my teeth and getting in the gums like Yes I'm going to get a good grade in dental care. Which is normal to want and possible to achieve.
#speculation nation#every time i go to the dentist they tell me to floss and every time i have not kept up with it#this time tho. im trying. ive only missed one day so far. since tuesday.#they said ive got some gum loss on my right side since half a year ago :(((#but i can fix it. and so i will. so im flossing my teeth. and when it gets here i'll use the mouth wash they recommended.#the whole deal. full dental hygiene. not gonna lose any teeth in MY 30s no sir!!!!!#managed to get myself on a good brushing schedule. with an electric toothbrush!!!#used to be id often skip evening bc i was too tired. but now it's part of the whole routine. i gotta do it.#it's a thing of like. i always go pee before bed bc i have a small bladder and i'll wake up to go pee if i dont go before bed.#and so i go to the bathroom then i wash my hands and when im at the sink right then. hands still wet. i brush my teeth.#and see this makes flossing harder. bc well flossing should be done before brushing. but i need dry hands for it.#so it cant be a part of the bathroom evening routine. so well how do i remember to do it??#ive had my floss set up where i sit to watch tv and game so that i can floss in the evening while watching shit#i think im gonna put up another post it note on the tv. i put one up for remembering my vitamins and it does help#doesnt make me remember all the time. sometimes i dont remember if ive taken them or not. so i end up not.#but it does help. look @ the side of the tv and see 'Did you take your vitamins?' and im like no sir i have not! thank you for the reminder!#and if i put one for flossing then itll be in my brain more consistently. and thus i will remember it more readily.#mouth wash is fine. i can do that after brushing. evening routine secured.#now u may ask why i cant just dry my hands before flossing after using the bathroom. and well that wouldnt WORK.#it'd still be slippery and see the key to evening brushing is to just do it automatically. hands are wet its evening lets brush now#ive had it happen before where im getting ready for bed but im like 'ok not brushing Yet... gonna eat a quick snack first'#but im at that sink and im zoned out and suddenly i have a toothbrush in my mouth. and im just like Drat.#just gotta. just gotta hack the system. ok see theres a system and i just gotta hack it.#i will get to the good dental hygiene. i really do not want to lose my teeth young 😭😭😭😭😭
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Seen the request, so I shall deliver. Could you pls write a drabble or hcs of a yandere sunday with an isekaied reader?
Good timing because I'm actually planning a non yan isekai fic for him, I wonder if you saw that post. Here it is in case you haven't.
Sincerest apologies if this isn't the best, this fic is 100% emotionally charged by my obsession with him and frankly with a little bit of a high for passing a tricky exam. This is a treat for myself.
EDIT: Please check out this wonderful comic that @danijaci made me based off this fic!! 😭🫶
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Picking up the cup from the fine oak table, you gazed towards the eerie galaxy before you, hundreds upon thousands of stars giving you a constant reminder of just how far from home you truly were. Taking a sip from the little porcelain cup you could not help but to hum in delight, the soft notes of the tea soothing your nerves ever so lightly as you pretended to ignore the heavy gaze which lingered at the back of your head.
Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Sunday was eager to approach you. Still, he kept his distance and made a silent offering in the form of the very tea you drank at the moment.
Anything is better than Himeko's coffee but you were never going privy her to that.
In a not so distant past, all of this was nothing but fiction. The Express, the story, the characters - it was all nothing more but fiction, something to pass the time as your days went on and on, the same monotony repeating each and every day.
It was hard to not think about your friends and family, what sane person would not? Lord knows how they must be feeling right now, worried sick out of their minds with indescribable sorrow. In their eyes you had merely vanished, not a single trace to be found. For all they knew you could have been left for dead in a ditch somewhere, beaten, bloodied and broken, never to see the light again or if they were even more inclined to be morbid, you had succumbed to a fate worse than death. Death at the very least grants you finality, that all is over regardless of what happened moments prior.
But that was simply not the case for you.
Here you were, lounging about in a comfortable chair as you pondered on your old life while enjoying tiny little luxuries, far away where none of your loved ones could reach you. However, life was funny sometimes because it had some fun games in store.
Sunday was very kind upon arrival. He made sure to always be there for you, always checking up on you, always there to keep you company. You were already smitten with him but now to actually witness him in the flesh was just... Indescribable. You got along like a house on fire, so much so that the crew liked to tease that you ought to just get a room. Sunday, ever the gentleman, would just brush their words aside and assure you to not take their playful little jabs to heart.
You wouldn't say anything, resorting to merely giving him a smile but not because of what he said but rather of what he did not - never once did he actually shut down those perverse accusations. Never, not even once did he deny them.
He became an emotional crutch, someone to whom you would come running to when things got tough and he would always welcome you with open arms. Sunday would hold you tenderly, his serene voice dripping with honey along with a tender drop of ecstasy, for his excitement with holding you would just show itself sometimes. His grip would be too tight at certain moments, never quite ready to let you leave. His hugs were warm and comforting, he always smelled so good too. He smelled like kindness and sweet wildflowers, always lulling you back to him no matter the time. In dark corners and perhaps even under the watchful eyes of the crew, Sunday would wrap his scarf around your head, securing the soft fabric in order to provide you with a sense of comfort.
It was humiliating just how much you would try to inhale his scent as much as possible. You wanted it etched deep inside your memory, you wished for it to linger on your very soul and for it to follow you everywhere you went, sticking to your being like tar. The fabric of the scarf would muffle your ears a little but someone was always chatting in the background. Be it March bickering with Dan Heng, Mr Yang scolding someone for doing something they were not supposed to, or just Conductor Pom Pom trying to give a speech, all of it was irrelevant.
You were ready to kill whoever would try to pry you away from sweet Sunday. That thought came often which had left you worried - just what kind of person had you become? Regardless, you kept your mouth shut and had no plans of sharing such violent sentiments with anyone, particularly not to the one you held so dear.
When it was time to part for the evening you would bid the crew farewell and wished them a good night. You always made sure to take a few extra seconds with Sunday, just to ease your aching soul. He would tell you to sleep well and would see you in the morning, ready to take on any endeavor that crossed your paths.
As everyone parted ways, Sunday would wander off somewhere dark and distant, somewhere no one could see nor hear him. He would fall to his knees and clutch his chest in agony, fat tears streaming down his face as he did everything he possibly could to steady his raging heart. In a rush he would reach for the scarf which clung around his neck, his grip tighter than iron as he would bring it close to his nose. Taking a large, deep breath, Sunday was greeted by your familiar scent which would promptly calm his poor heart.
He sometimes wondered if his heart would start bleeding from the pain due to the sheer intensity of his emotions.
This was wrong, everything about this was not right and it hurt. Sunday was obviously ill but he had no clue on how to fight this... This emotion, this white hot feeling of need whenever you stood by his side. He started to choke on the air around him and fell into an abrupt coughing fit but even then, he could bring himself to remove the scarf from the lower part of his face.
Sunday wept and sobbed, filthy snot coming out from his nose but he could not handle that now. He needed you, Oh Heavenly Aeons, how he needed you. However was he going to tell you how he felt? How, oh how was he going to express the sheer magnitude of his true thoughts? He would scare you off, he was sure of it.
Even with this pain, even with these clipped wings and bleeding heart, Sunday had never felt so alive, so harrowingly present in the moment whenever he was with you.
Perhaps, he was doing himself a kindness by just letting you be. Drink your tea, be at peace.
He can always just make you another cup if you so desired.
Without knowing, you both haunted each other in the most agonizing way known to mankind and neither was strong enough to face the reality of the situation.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yancore#yanderecore#yandere aesthetic#yandere male#yandere sunday x reader#sunday x reader#yandere sunday#sunday#sunday x you#yan hsr#yandere hsr#hsr x reader#sunday hsr#yandere honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail
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Miss ma’am, hi hello how are you?
I am presenting myself here, very very humbly to ask if we could please get another part of your Nerd Nanami fic?🥹🥹 please please puhleaseeeeeeeee
That was an actual masterpiece, I had to read it very slowly and savour it, making sure to process every single sentence of that fic. You’re so talented it makes me cry
Please offer us more Nanami, pleaseeeeeee
Giving the nerd a chance… part two
Tags: nerd!Nanami x fem!Reader, college au, smut with plot, nsfw, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, size kink, breeding kink, dom!nanami, sub!reader, marathon sex, exhibitionism if you squint real hard, mdni
Synopsis: Your nerdy boyfriend is so prim and proper in real life, but he has big dick energy over text.
An: 4K Follower Special! I got over 20 requests for a part two of this fic. At this time, it is my best performing fic on tumblr, and I fear… I may have peaked with it. I never EVER intended on writing a second part because I was sure that I couldn’t ever follow that fic up with something as good, but this sweet anon request warmed my heart so much that I decided to give the people what they’re asking for. This one’s going to be a long one… pace yourself because there will NOT be a third part… right?
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Nanami’s a stoic lover. He doesn’t keep you hidden, but he doesn’t outwardly drag attention towards your relationship. Too much attention meant drama, and Nanami hates drama.
Nanami asked you to be his girlfriend a few weeks after the first time you two slept together. Of course, everyone in his friend group saw it coming long before you two had even hooked up.
They saw the longing gazes between you two when you pined for each other. They saw the cheeky glances once you two finally started texting. They noticed how their dear friend smiled more — was more laid back and relaxed.
Everyone welcomed you into their small found family with open arms. They simply couldn’t have picked anyone better to balance out Nanami’s far too strict nature.
Things with Nanami were absolutely a dream. You two had great chemistry emotionally and physically. Of course, he just made things so easy for you.
While he is a stoic lover, you never ever feel unloved by him. He’s always there to reassure you with words of affirmation or small touches that just remind you that he’s there.
Like when you two are at one of Satoru’s “exclusive” gatherings, if you’re not in Nanami’s lap, then he’s got his hand on you somewhere. Sometimes he gets so bored during those little get togethers that he spends his time leisurely pressing kisses into your cheek and neck. He never quite understood Satoru’s and Suguru’s affinity with public displays of affection until he met you.
Or there's those times when you need a little extra help with your studies. Kento is right behind you, with you on his lap, his cock is snuggly being squeezed by your warm leaking cunt. He presses small chaste kisses against your temple and ear while you try your hardest to focus on the homework.
"Do you remember this one, sweetheart? We went over it in class yesterday... Aw, don't go all stupid on me now."
When you get an answer right, he'll reward you with small, shallow thrusts, but you have to finish the whole assignment to get him to really fuck you.
Or if you two are walking together in the halls, Nanami holds his arm out for you, letting you latch onto him so he can guide you two through the crowd of people. He knows how you are in crowded areas, so he's keen on not letting anyone get too close to you.
Nanami’s a true gentleman too. His parents made sure they raised nothing less than a perfect man. You’ve never had to touch a door handle, any of your own money, or bags when you two go shopping. Nanami handles all of that for you. He doesn’t let you walk on the outside when you two are on the sidewalk. He’s respectful of you and your time, and he always listens to everything you have to say with his full attention because you deserve nothing less.
Nanami’s parents truly did their best work with him, and speaking of his parents, Nanami’s the type that wants to take you back home to meet them.
It was nearly fall break as you were sitting in your experimental research class — your final class before you’re free from the hell hole of academics for a full week.
You glance down at your phone as it buzzes in your lap. You and Nanami had been planning a trip out to his family’s home in Hakone for a little bit now, and the closer that time gets to you two leaving, the more stressed out Nanami feels.
Nanami: We’ll probably leave out early tomorrow morning and catch the first train. Will you be okay with that?
Yn: Mhm. That sounds fine, Ken.
Nanami: After class, I need to inform you a little bit more about my parents… I just don’t want you to feel shocked or surprised when you meet them.
Yn: I’m not sure why I’d be shocked or surprised, but I’m excited to hear more.
Nanami: Don’t get too excited.
You stare at his message for a bit, pondering what he could’ve meant by that. He hadn’t ever spoke poorly of his parents, but he didn’t necessarily praise them either. Actually… he never spoke of them.
*** *** ***
For the rest of the class, you wondered just what you were getting yourself into by going and meeting them. Maybe you two were moving too fast or..
“Sweetheart.” His steady voice broke your trance. He’s crouched down next to your desk to be eye-level with you, and the palms of his hand is gently caressing your cheek. “There you are. Spaced out on me.”
The entire classroom is empty. Class must’ve ended a minute ago because not even the professor is in the room now. You must’ve been deep in your own head.
You let force out an awkward laugh before nuzzling your cheek further into his palm, seeking out his affections as comfort from the insecure thoughts that somehow always manage to find a way in.
“I was just.. thinkin’ about your parents is all..” You finally give him some sort of explanation, and Nanami softens a bit.
“It’s just a weekend, my love. Then, I’ll make it up to you.” His words are a promise. You know for a fact Nanami doesn’t say things that he doesn’t mean.
“I think that was the part where you were supposed to reassure me that they’ll like me-“
Nanami pulls you forward and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll still love you regardless.”
Gods, his words are so sweet, but they cut deep like daggers.
“They’re… not going to like me..?” You mumble in a tone that makes Nanami’s heart sink. He takes your hands into his as he gets on his knee to better talk to you while you’re seated.
“My parents are… very traditional.” He carefully explains, and his hazel eyes search yours for a reaction before he reluctantly continues. “They want me to marry a girl from a specific family-“
“An arranged marriage!?” You blurt out — unable to control your emotions as it feels like your heart is trying to force its way up your throat.
“Something like that - but not exactly. It’s not arranged, but it’s definitely heavily pushed.” He tries to keep his tone steady, but seeing you so upset like this has him feeling raw with emotion as well.
“So, no, they will not be happy to know that I’m going against their wishes, but they’ll come around eventually.” His eyes focus on yours, and he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“… and if they don’t?” A small sniffle escapes you before you can stop it. The thought of Nanami being with anyone else has your head spinning. There’s another girl out there who might be expecting for him to take her hand in marriage.
“Hey... look at me.” He coaxes softly as his hand guides your face to look him in the eyes. “I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I’m doing this as a courtesy for them — not because I need their approval.”
Chills shoot up your spine from his words. Nanami rarely cusses, but when he does, it’s enough to even make Satoru blush when he hears it.
Your worry instantly flees your body when Nanami’s lips press against yours to seal the deal. This was just a visit to his parents. Nothing more. Nothing less.
“I’m still gonna love you…” He mumbles his words against your lips before seeking out more of your honeyed kisses. “…still gonna marry you one day…” His deep voice groans a little as he gently suckles on your bottom lip. “…still gonna fuck you senseless every night.”
“Ken..” A breathy whine; a whimper; a plea.
“Because you need it every night, don’t you?” His lips are still chasing yours with an insatiable hunger. It just wasn’t enough. If the next class wasn’t coming in the next 10 minutes, he’d take you right here on your desk, but he doesn’t fancy the idea of anyone else’s eyes accidentally falling upon your ethereal body.
“Mhm… need it.” You murmur against his lips quietly in agreement.
Nanami suddenly pulls away, and he reaches out, wrapping his hand around your wrist. “Come on before I fuck you right here.” He threatens and picks your bag up off the floor for you.
*** *** ***
A gasp flees you as Nanami pushes your back against his bed. His lips are immediately assaulting your neck: suckling soft red marks into your skin and nipping at you gently.
He loves to see the aftermath of his love on you, but he has to be careful this time. Can’t have you going to meet his parents with hickeys all over your neck, can you?
“Mmm~ What about Haibara?” You ask now before you find yourself too hypnotized by his affections.
“He has a class right now.” Nanami answers before his hand trails up your thighs towards your already damp panties. He has had this on his mind all day since he saw you in that cute little skirt you’re wearing.
“Already so wet.” He groans into your neck before biting at your shoulder. The pads of his fingers tease your sensitive clit through the cloth of your cotton panties. “Fuck. You’re so good to me.”
Nanami drops to his knees on the edge of the bed, and his strong arms pull you by your legs to where you’re situated at the edge for him to eat you out to his heart’s desire.
He doesn’t even remove your panties before he leans in and presses a sloppy kiss to your cunt. He can already taste you through the fabric, and he needs more.
His fingers hook in the waistband of your panties, and he tugs them down your legs, carefully placing them on his bedside table. If he can swing it, he’ll definitely hide them from you and claim that you lose them — just so he can keep them for when you’re not around.
He’s not a pervert!! Well… he loves jerking off into his girlfriend’s panties when he’s too needy at night… Feeling the wet fabric that was pressed so unceremoniously against your heavenly cunt is more than enough to get him off quickly. It would be ungentlemanly to wake you up at your dorm for such a scandalous adventure. At least he washes and returns them to you promptly after using them a couple of times.
As soon as your panties are safely discarded, Nanami has his face right back between your legs. He uses his hands to prop your legs up on his shoulder, and he just.. absolutely begins to devour you.
“Ngh.. oh fuck— wait Ken.. I wan..” You can barely get your words out right while his tongue is lapping at your slippery folds.
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to interrupt someone during a meal?” His hazel eyes look up at you with such a serious look — you feel like you’re being scolded.
Your face flushes a bright red before you relax back into his bed — accepting your fate. Kento smiles to himself, knowing that it doesn’t take much to pacify you. You’re too much of a good girl for him.
“Mmm~ that’s right. Just lay back and take what I give you, pretty girl.” He hums in satisfaction as his tongue connects with your cunt once more.
He licks up all the sticky wetness that you so graciously leak for him. He’s so messy with it, practically french kissing with your cunt. Your juices are smeared across his chin from him hopelessly lapping at you. His tongue writes love letters to you against your clit, making your body shiver with pleasure and excitement.
One of your hands is clasping at the sheets, and the other hand is entangled in Kento’s blonde hair, giving him small tugs as he gives you the best head of your life.
Your thighs unconsciously press together, trying to run from the weird sensations that his mouth gives to you. Your boyfriend grunts in dissatisfaction — not enjoying the sudden disobedience from you.
His hand press against each of your knees, and he forces your legs back open — spreading you wiiiide open for him.
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?” He asks while looking up at you through his lashes.
“Please — please~” You whine. Your hips involuntarily buck up, trying to get any sort of friction.
“Then be good, and sit still.” Nanami orders, and his hand ever so carefully swats at your sensitive cunt — sending shockwaves of electrifying pleasure through your nerve endings.
“‘m sorry.. ‘m sorry.. please.” You’re so whiny and desperate to be stretching by him. It’s honestly so pathetic that he pities you.
“My poor sweet girl.” He chuckles lowly before pressing a more gentle kiss against your clit. His tongue carefully dips into your wet heat. “Tastes too sweet for your own good. How am I supposed to stop enjoying you, huh?”
A glob of spit rolls down your cunt from Nanami’s mouth, and he uses his own two fingers to spread it around, softly toying with your glistening pussy. A smirk curls on his lips as he watches the way your entrance flutters — so enticed by the potential of being filled by him.
You quietly stifle a squeal as he stuffs you with two of his thick fingers. “So reactive, baby.” He murmurs as his tongue darts back out to gently lap and flick at your clit.
“Ken.. fuck, fuck-! Mmmph..” Your hips start to roll against his fingers, trying to force them inside you. Your boyfriend obliges your silent request, and he pushes his fingers in deeper, curling upwards to that spot he knows will make you cry out his name…
“Nanami-!” There it is. His fingers begin to roughly pump in and out, abusing your sensitive g-spot over and over again.
“Better be a good girl and tell me you love me.” He mutters lowly into your cunt. He knows he doesn’t have to tell you anymore — you’re already conditioned to tell him you love him when you cum. Even if he’s not the one making you finish, you’ll text him a quick “I love you” as you clench around your own fingers to the thought of him.
Your hips roll harder, and your moans are way more throaty — interrupted by small gasps for air. He can tell that you’re getting close. His mouth gently begins to suckle on the small bundle of nerves, and he focuses his tongue on swirling circles around your clit.
It’s all so much. It feels like Nanami is literally playing you like an instrument. He knows exactly what to do to make you a whiny trembling mess.
His fat fingers are pummeling into you, slamming into your sweet spot — making overstimulated tears well up in your eyes. “Sh-shit.. gonna cum.. Nanami… ah~ more..” You’re babbling utter nonsense while trying to find your orgasm.
Your stomach starts to clench, and it almost feels uncomfortable. Your breath stutters as Nanami murmurs into your pussy. “Let go for me, darling. Let it alllll out.” He encourages you as if his fingers and tongue aren’t absolutely tag teaming you.
“Ah~ Mmph… I.. fuck- I love you-!” You moan as you finally feel your orgasm suddenly break. Your tight walls clench around Nanami’s fingers, and fluids from your arousal gush out, making a big mess on his face and clothes.
Nanami quietly chuckles as he comes to realization that you just squirted on him. “Oh? That’s how you feel, huh?” He mocks playfully before pressing one last french kiss against your cunt. “I love you more darling.”
For a moment, you don’t know if it’s more directed towards you or your pussy.
*** *** ***
The early morning train ride was spent with your head cozied into Nanami’s shoulder as he had a protective arm around you. The scenery outside was beautiful. Hakone is known for their breathtaking sights of Mount Fiji. Too bad your eyelids were so heavy from getting up so early.
Nanami takes the silence as a time to reflect. He truly can’t remember a time when he was nervous like this. It was as if that emotion left him when he was a teenage boy. His family’s harsh regime for raising him left no room for shy or nervous behavior. Men were strong, confident, sophisticated. They exuded chivalry in everything they do.
Honestly, he’s glad that he was raised the way he was. Every time he bears witness to Gojo’s crude behavior, he can only think of how happy he is to have had a strict childhood.
But right now, he wishes he wasn’t so nervous. His heart is pounding in his chest, and he’s silently praying that you can’t hear it. Even though he didn’t care what his parents thought of you, he didn’t fancy the idea of seeing you torn down by his parents. Hopefully, they’ll have enough class to take up the issues with him — not you.
*** *** ***
Nanami’s parent’s house had a very traditional vibe to it, and it was easily twice as big as the house you grew up in. It was beautifully decorated, and the lawn was obviously meticulously cared for. It makes sense that Nanami grew up here.
“Just one weekend. Then, we’ll be back to normal.” Nanami murmurs softly into your ear. Though, he doesn’t know if he’s reassuring you or himself at this point. He takes a deep breath before knocking on the door with a heavy fist.
“Oh, Kennn.” His mother immediately ran up to Nanami and gave him a big hug after answering the door, which he returned back to her.
“It’s good to see you, mom.” He responds heartily before he holds out his hand to his dad.
“Look at you. Our son has grown up on us.” His dad gives a sweet smile while gently nudging his mom with his elbow.
“Don’t remind me!” His mom practically wails with her arms still wrapped around Nanami, and you’re awkwardly on standby.
Nanami finally puts his hands on his mom’s shoulders, and he forces her to take a step back. “It hasn’t even been that long since you two saw me, and besides, I brought someone for you two to meet.”
His arm carefully wraps back around your waist, and he looks at his parents before collecting himself briefly. “This is my girlfriend, Yn. Yn, these are my parents.”
His mom’s smile falters almost unnoticeably, but you immediately pick up on her dissatisfaction. His dad seems to just he surprised.
“Ah, yes, welcome to our home, yn.” His dad finally says with an earnest smile, and he subtly nudges his wife. It’s definitely a silent reminder for her to stop looking at you like you’re an intruder.
“Your home is lovely, Mr. and Mrs. Nanami. It’s nice to meet you two.” You try your best to not sound nervous at all, but his mom’s face just makes your stomach turn.
His parents guide you through their home, but they mostly focus their attention on Nanami: asking him about his studies, asking how Gojo’s doing, and asking if he’s contacted some girl named… Allegra. You couldn’t help but wonder if that was the girl who they wanted him to marry instead.
They didn’t ask you very many questions. His dad was friendly, but it seemed like he was tip toeing around all the awkward tension. His mom was just flat out ignoring your presence — clearly in denial about her son having a girlfriend who wasn’t this mysterious Allegra girl.
When it came time for dinner, his dad finally broke the awkward tension and asked about you.
“So yn, you go to the same college as Kento?” His dad seems to be genuinely sweet — just more on the passive shy side.
“Yeah, Ken and I actually share quite a few classes together.” You smile as your utensil grazes along the food they prepared. It smells delicious, but your nerves will barely allow you to nibble on it.
“What are you studying?”
“Oh, I’m in general studies for now. I’m still deciding on what to major in.” You reply as you finally feel yourself beginning to relax in your chair.
“Did you tell your friend that Allegra is studying to become a doctor? Wouldn’t that be nice to have in the family?” His mom finally speaks up, only addressing Nanami and not you.
Your stomach sinks as you realize why Nanami was so apologetic and reassuring this entire time. He knew his mom was just going to take subtle digs at you the entire time.
“One, she’s my girlfriend — not friend. Two, no, I have no reason to speak about Allegra with my girlfriend.” Nanami responds, and he gives his mom a subtle look. It appears they have a brief challenging moment before his mom looks away and relents.
Nanami’s foot gently nudges yours underneath the table, and you try to give him a small smile in response. It’s just hard when clearly you’re not wanted in this household.
The dinner goes silent for a moment, and the dining area fills with the sounds of chopsticks gently touching against plates. You subtly check your phone for an escape.
Nanami: Don’t pay her any mind, okay?
Nanami: I promise I’ll make up for this tonight. I’ll kiss you for every rude thing she says.
Yn: and for every time she says Allegra?
Nanami: I’ll fuck you until you can’t remember her name… make you so dumb until you can only remember my name. That’s all you need to know anyways.
Yeah, that’ll do it. The negative emotions are gone — replaced by a feral need for his cock. You take a subtle breath before putting your phone away, not wanting anyone to accidentally see him dirty talking you right in front of his parents.
“Ah, do you think you can help me out with the car tomorrow, Kento? Your old man is getting too old and worn out to crawl underneath there.” His dad finally breaks the silence once more.
“Of course, dad. What are you needing done on it? I’ll probably wake up early and get it done before day breaks.” Your boyfriend is such a good son. It’s no wonder that his mom is stupid protective over him.
“I just need to breaks changed on it. It’s probably due for an oil change too.” His dad explains, and Nanami assures him that he’ll get it done.
“I didn’t know you knew much about cars.” You take the chance of speaking up, and Nanami’s hazel eyes meet yours. His face instantly softens, and his mouth opens to speak. Too bad his mom beats him too it.
“Of course, he does. He needs to know all sorts of things like that in case his future wife needs her car repaired.” His mom says with a hint of hostility in her tone. “Speaking of which, Allegra just bought a new car a few months ago.”
You sit in silence for a moment, and you feel your stomach twisting in discomfort. You don’t know why you care so much for this woman’s opinion of you. Nanami already warned you that they likely wouldn’t approve of you, but you didn’t know you signed up to practically be bullied all weekend.
“I know a few basic things about cars. Nothing major.” Nanami responds to you — ignoring his mother’s comments. “I can show you too if you’re interested.”
A small smile curls on your lips, and you swallow back your emotions— trying to stay strong for him. “That’d be nice.”
“You definitely have a….”
“Mom.” Nanami immediately warns, staring down his mother before she can even finish her sentence.
“What? I wasn’t going to say anything mean.” She’s immediately on the defensive, casually laughing as if she’s been nothing but friendly this entire time. “I was just going to say that your friend certainly has a bold personality… wearing red to meet someone’s parents is definitely… a choice.”
Your eyes look down at the nice blouse you’re wearing, and you swallow harshly. Nanami was actually the one to pick it out for you. He reassured you this morning that you looked gorgeous — unknowingly signing you up to be bullied.
Your face is burning hot with embarrassment, and you wish you could just fold in on yourself and die right on the spot.
“Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” Nanami frowns, and he puts his chopsticks down on his plate. “I’m serious. Being a bully at your age is unbecoming to you as a mother.”
“Kento.” His dad warns, but Nanami doesn’t relent for a second.
“No. I’m not going to sit here and allow her to continue disrespecting my girlfriend like that.” Your boyfriend retorts, and he switches back to glaring at his mother. “I’m not dating Allegra — nor do I want to. I’m doing you a favor by introducing you to yn. I figured you’d like to know your future daughter in law.” He gestures to you,
The color leaves his mom’s face as she stares back at her son — as if him implying that he is going to marry you is the worst news she’s ever heard. Her eyes cut over towards you in a vicious glare. “How long have you even known my son?”
Your heart is beating straight through your chest. Confrontation isn’t your strong suit, and to be honest, his mother was terrifying even though she’s literally shorter than you are.
“W-well, we met in college so…” You inwardly curse for stumbling over your words, and Nanami frowns as he looks at you. He hates that his parents are making you so unsure of yourself and your role in his life. He wants to take all your insecurities away and make you forget this ever even happened.
“It’s not even been that long! You don’t even have history with this girl. Allegra was your first kiss.. your first everything!” His mother raises her voice at Nanami, making exasperating hand motions.
His first everything? He told you that you were his first.
Tears prick into your eyes before you can even think to stop him. Overwhelmed by shame and just utter defeat, you don’t even know what to do other than to hide and cry.
Nanami’s eyes widen as he sees you clearly trying to cover up the tears streaming down your cheeks. His jaw tightens as he returns his gaze to his mother.
“That’s funny. I don’t recall you ever being present for any of those things.” His mom starts to speak up, but he is quick to shut her back down. “I kissed Allegra because you were breathing down my neck to. I was barely 15 at that time, and it happened once. That was the first and only time I ever even touched her.”
His mom starts to try to speak up again to probably bring up some other point about why he should be with Allegra. Nanami interrupts her again.
“Allegra and I do not like each other. We hardly tolerated each other for yours and her parents’ sake. You have to get over it. I’m with yn, and I’m happy — happier than I’ve ever been. She was my first everything. My first real kiss, my first girlfriend, and since you seem to want to stick your nose so far in my business, she was my first in bed too.”
“Kento, you’re being incredibly disrespectful.” Her voice is much more strict now as she scolds her grown son.
“I wonder where I get it from. It seems as though we both have a propensity for being rude.” He retorts, and while he’s arguing, his hand slides over to your inner thigh under the table, and he gropes it harshly.
He’s so pissed. He doesn’t even know how to get rid of this anger. His hand squeezes your thigh tightly, making your face go bright red as you look away from everyone.
“I’m not accepting her into this family. You can forget that. She’s changed you.” His mother’s words are growing harsher, and his dad is trying to quietly calm her. She doesn’t pay him any mind though.
“Fine. We’ll just go make our own family.” Nanami scoots his chair back, and he stands up. His hand roughly pulls you up as well — not giving you a chance to even think about what he just said. He bends down and effortlessly throw you over his shoulder, making you gape in surprise. His arm securing you by wrapping around the back of your thighs. “And by the way, I chose the red blouse. It matches the cute bra she’s wearing that I also chose for her.”
His parents stare at him — both completely dumbfounded by what just happened. They didn’t raise him to be like that, but what were they going to do?? Stop him? That’s a laughable thought. You’re not even sure God himself could pull Ken off of you when he’s feral like this.
His footsteps are heavy as he stomps up the stairs towards his teenage bedroom. Nothing has changed since he was last in here. It’s still completely sterile from how he was made to clean it each day. The walls are littered with posters of various science related things, and he has some posters of older video games he use to enjoy.
Your body is practically flung onto the bed, and Nanami doesn’t waste a single second. His heart is pounding in his chest. His mind is fogged with pure anger. He hasn’t felt like this in so long. It reminds him of why he took up going to the gym.
With no punching bag in sight, you’re his only outlet.
His body is unwavering on top of yours — a force to be reckoned with, and his mouth immediately connects with yours in a suffocating kiss. Quiet hums and moans fill the air between you two, and he quite literally steals the breath from your lungs. His fingers wrap around your wrists easily, pinning them above your head on the bed.
No longer satiated from robbing you of your breath, Nanami trails his kisses down to your neck. To hell with not marking you — he needs to see his brand on your neck. You’re his, aren’t you? Who cares if his parents see?
“Ah~” You let out a breathy whimper as he angrily sucks and bites on your neck. Your skin is sensitive - already turning bright shades of blue and purple from his mouth. His dental imprint litters your neck and shoulders.
“K-Ken.. what about..?” You start to ask about his parents. They’re going to hear you two. Wouldn’t that just make things worse?
“Don’t care.” He responds so brashly. If he thinks about his parent’s behavior any longer, he’s going to need to fuck you into next week to get all his anger out.
Riiiip!
Your eyes widen as you look up at your boyfriend’s hulking figure. The blouse that you were just criticized for was now more like a coat, split down the middle, revealing your perfect breasts, so prettily on display in your red lacy bra.
His mouth waters as he looks you up and down. You have almost this panicked look in your eye, provoked by his unpredictability, and for whatever reason, it’s driving him insane.
His mouth is back on you like it never left: kissing and biting on your mounds, painting them so beautifully with his mark. “You’re mine.” He grunts lowly. His jealousy almost makes it sound like his parents were insinuating that you should marry someone else.
“Say it.” He demands before his teeth graze over your collarbone. His warm breath fans over your skin, making you shiver.
“Yours.” You comply with such a small whimper, and your body jolts when you feel his raging bulge rub against you.
“See what you do to me?” He rumbles lowly as he looks down to where he’s now shamelessly dry humping you through clothes like he’s a horny teenager.
“Fuck… Ken..” You whisper as you’re also mesmerized by the sight. His slacks are completely taught, outlining the shape of his cock so well. You can almost see the veins that protrude on him.
His hips rolls slowly against yours, savoring the way the fabric rubs against him and you. His dick is painfully throbbing — begging for the reprieve of being squeezed by your gummy walls.
“Are you as much of a mess as I am, baby?” He asks as his hand dips into your pants. His eyebrows furrow, and he lets out a low groan as his fingers are instantly coated in your slick. He slips his hand back out of your pants just to slide his fingers into his mouth. He holds eye contact with you as he hums in satisfaction. He'll never get enough of your taste.
“You want this, don’t you? Want me to fuck you where my parents can hear you?” He slides his hand back down into your pants, and his fingers rub tight, firm circles against your clit, making your body squirm from pleasure.
“Nngh~ ah!” You’re already so noisy, and he hasn’t even began fucking you yet.
“Give ‘em a show, baby. Let them hear how good I make you feel.”
“Mmm~ Ken…” You moan as your back arches up off the bed. His fingers press down harder on your swollen clit.
“You can do better than that, darling.” He can be so condescending in bed, using that insatiable need for praise against you.
“Ken!” You shout, all logical thought has abandoned you. He tells you to do better? You do better.
“Good girl.” He purrs before sliding his hand out of your pants. He can’t get your clothes off of you quick enough. His cock is beckoning for attention, still neglected from yesterday of just eating you out.
Your hands shakily try to unbutton his shirt, and he chuckles lowly at your pitiful efforts. “Aw, my poor girl. Already so shaken up. Go on. You can do it.”
You huff at his taunting. Usually, he’d just see you struggling and take off his clothes for you, but today he was thriving off watching you so desperately trying to get his clothes off him.
It takes you a minute to get his clothes off him, and you don’t even properly take off his pants. You merely shoved them down along with his boxers just low enough for his monstrous cock to spring out. Nanami merely watches you with a cocky smirk.
“Yeah? This is what you wanted?” He purrs lowly, and he carefully drags his tip up and down your core, smearing his precum along your lips as if his tip was giving you a sloppy kiss.
“Gonna take all of it, aren’t you?” His other hand releases your wrists, and he lovingly cups your cheek. His hand is so big compared to your face. He loves watching you nuzzle up into his palm.
You nod your head quickly in response, lifting your hips up to meet his with each slow movement. Wet slippery noises from your cunt weeping for him fill the room.
“Use your words.” He demands before he speaks up louder — just to spite his parents who are right below you two. “I said. You’re going to take this dick like a good girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes!” You whine before your body is completely shell shocked from a quick slap to your cunt. His cock is so heavy — you can feel the weight of it as his rudely smacks it against you again.
“Louder.”
“Yes sir-!” You immediately oblige, following his commands without a second thought in your brain.
His lips curl into a lopsided grin, and he carefully guides his sweltering tip towards your entrance, plugging your hole with just his head.
“Keep being a good girl like that, and I might have to give you baby. Do you want that?” He asks while carefully stretching you by fucking his tip in and out of your tight hole. “You wanna have my baby, don’t you?”
“Ffffuck- Ken! T-too much..” You squirm your body against his bedsheets, and he chuckles at your poor attempt at getting away.
“You clearly want this, so why are you running?” He hands latch onto your thighs, and he pulls you back down towards him, inadvertently impaling you even further on his cock.
A smug chuckles bubbles up in his throat as he sees how much of a mindless mess you are. He loves how he can make you all dumb so quickly with his dick. It brings him great joy to know that you trust him and can just let go, letting the more primal urges take over.
“Mmm~ so tight and wet for me, aren’t you darling? Need to just let Ken take care of you, yeah?” His voice is like velvet as he slowly thrusts himself in and out, sinking deeper into you with each movement, splitting you wide open.
“Ah~! nnnnn… so good.” You manage to whine out.
“What a crybaby. I know you can take me better than that, darling.” Nanami gives you a soft kiss on the forehead before his large hand wraps around your neck, applying pressure in just the right spots to make you all lightheaded.
"Come on. Show me how good you can take it~" His hips snap forward suddenly, sinking his full length deep inside you. Your eyes roll back into your head as he takes full control over you.
His hips are pounding forward, bumping his tip right against your cervix with every mean thrust. His balls are heavy and slapping against the flesh of your ass — a reminder for how pent up he's been recently.
Maybe it's the lack of an orgasm for the last couple of days or maybe it's his parents being utter assholes to you, but Kento finds himself feeling frustrated all over again. Low grunts and growls escape him, and he uses his grip on your neck to push himself in even further -- harder.
The sound of skin clapping against skin fills the room, and his childhood beds starts to squeak out with each forceful blow. He knows for a fact that his parents can hear every single noise. The thin walls of this house absolutely hide nothing. He may as well have fucked you right there against the kitchen table to really prove a point.
"Fuck-! Kenkenkenken! Ah~" You can't even form sentences much less words other than his name. Before you can even warn him, your walls begin to pulse around him - practically milking him while your orgasm takes you over. "Nnngh~ I-I love you.."
"Mmnn~ I didn't tell you that you could do that, sweetheart." He hazel eyes bore into your very soul as his grin shifts to a more wild one. His hips move with even more vigor as if he's trying to push himself straight into your womb,
His hand lets go of your throat, finally allowing you to get a deep breath of air while trying to cope with his massive size pumping in and out of you as if you're nothing but a senseless fuck toy, but you clearly fucking love it. You're practically dripping all over him, soaking his bedsheets in your arousal.
At this point, his parents aren't sure if he's killing you or fucking you. Either way, they're too afraid to intervene. They didn't raise a gentleman at all. They raised a monster.
"Mmph... Need to give you a baby. Can I? You'd make such a pretty mama. School be damned. I need you." Normally, Nanami is pretty controlled over his pillow talk. He's really good at it, but right now, he's completely lost in you -- just babbling promises of giving you a baby and marrying you.
"Y-yes, Ken! Fuck... give me a baby, please." Your legs are trembling around his waist, and your fingernails are giving him such pretty decorations along his back. Small trophies for fucking you just right.
"Fuuuck- Take it. T... take it all..." His voice is a gravely groan as his cock twitches inside you, spilling all of his seed directly into your tummy. It's so fucking much from holding back for a couple of days - completely filling you up. "I love you so much. Gonna marry you one day."
The house is eerily silent for a moment as both you and Nanami catch your breaths. He stays planted on top of you, keeping your legs hooked around his waist. Small creaks of footsteps against a floorboard fill the air, and you tense up, thinking his parents were going to come in there and raise all sorts of problems.
Nanami gently strokes your face with the back of his hand. "Shhh, they're not coming in here. Promise." He whispers lowly, pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. You slowly relax in his arms, trusting his words that his parents weren't going to come in there.
You can hear a door open and shut, and it sounds like bickering back and forth between his parents.
"See? They're just going to bed." He presses another reassuring kiss to your cheek.
His hips continue to lazily pump in and out of you, basically fucking his cum back into you as it seeps out. His cock is hyper sensitive, but he can't get enough. You're completely drenched for him. You deserve more of his loving.
"Keennn~" You whine quietly, shifting in the bed slightly as your legs are all achy and sore from him taking out all of his anger on you.
"What is it, baby?" He asks in a hushed whisper against your ear. His breath tickles your skin, making you slightly squirm in response. "I'm just making sure it takes, yeah?" His cock sinks further into you, already growing hard all over again even though he just finished.
"Mmmph~" You hum as your eyes slipped closed. Nanami smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead, knowing that you're already needy all over again for him.
"Answer me, darling. Want me to stop?" He asks while peppering kisses all over your face. If the last round was about degradation and taking his anger out, then this one was about how much he loves you and can't get enough of you.
"Nonono... don't stop, please." You murmur out quickly, looking up at him with big, pleading eyes.
"That's my good girl... Always needin' more, aren't you?" He hums lowly, and his cock pumps in and out so slowly, delicately smushing against your cervix with each loving thrust.
"Mmn.. I love you." You slur out, completely cock drunk at this point. Kento just smiles and continues to dote on your with messy kisses against your cheeks and neck. His hand is gently massaging your breast, just barely teasing your nipple while he makes love to you.
"And I love you, darling." He responds before he feels you squeezing around him already. "Oh pretty, again?" He asks as his eyes look down to your fluids gushing around his length. "Such a mess. How are we meant to sleep on these sheets now?"
"'m sorry... I c-couldn't help it. 'm so sorry." You whimper as your face dips into his shoulder, hiding you obvious embarrassment.
Kento's arms wrap around your waist, and he uses his hold on you to drag you up and down along his length — still moving at such a torturously slow pace, making you feel every inch as it enters you.
"Aw, that's alright, darling. I'll clean us up. Just take a little bit more for me, yeah?" He whispers into your ear while your pelvis is slotting against his. He's damn near holding you up into his arms. Lucky you for having such a strong boyfriend.
His lips find yours for a messy kiss. His tongue slips past your lips, claiming your mouth as his completely. A few seconds later, his cock is pumping you full again with his cum — still so much on the second round.
Without even missing a beat, Nanami's mumbling breathily in your ear. "Mmm, I know I said I'd clean us up, but you wouldn't hate a third round, would you?"
*** *** ***
Nanami didn't wake you up the next morning to watch him work on the car. He knew your poor little body was put through the ringer yesterday, so he gave you a tender kiss on the temple before making his way into the garage in just his sleeping pants and socks.
His father's car was already propped up on the jack, and his father groaned as he leaned up off the ground. "Well good morning." He says in a knowing tone.
"Good morning. Why are you down there? I told you I'd fix it today." Nanami asks as he shoos his dad out of his way, and he slides himself underneath the car.
"Well, I didn't know if you'd be up for it after your fun ventures last night." His dad hands Nanami a tool to help get the brake pads off the car.
Nanami stays silent. In his new found clarity, he does know that fucking you so loudly to where his parents can hear was a weird retaliation method, but he doesn't regret doing it.
"Your mother cried all night last night."
"Maybe she needs a reality check if she's that damn upset about who I choose to romantically involve myself with." Nanami rolls his eyes, and he grunts as he forces the brake pad away from the car.
"I don't think she was crying because of that. I think she realizes just how far she drove you away from her with her constant pressure over your love life." His dad explains, and he hands Nanami the new brake pad to replace on the car. "I'm not saying you or yn have to forgive her for how she acted today, but I am asking that you try to give her another chance today. I think she understands now."
Nanami takes a deep breath, but he nods quietly. "She's got one more time to say anything rude to my girlfriend, and we're taking the first train back to the university."
*** *** ***
Your eyes darted over to Nanami's nervously when his mother asked you to have a girl's day with her, but your boyfriend gently rubbed your back, silently assuring you that it'd be okay. At least, he hoped it'd be okay.
Nanami: Text me if she says anything rude. I'll pack our stuff up and we'll leave, okay?
Luckily, you didn't have to text him at all that day. His mom took you sight seeing around the town, out to eat at one of Hakone's favorite restaurants, and you two got your nails done.
"You know, I was being a bad person yesterday." She starts off as you two are sat next to each other. Her feet are being massaged by one of the workers, and you're getting your toes painted. "I guess I just had this idea of how I wanted Kento's life to go, and when things started not going to plan, I started trying to grasp onto anything that'd give me control."
You glance over at his mother, and she has a small nostalgic smile upon her face. "I can't believe I allowed myself to act that way towards you... especially after my parents did the same thing to Kento's dad."
"Your parents didn't accept Kento either?" You curiously ask, wondering how similar your stories were.
"No, but they didn't try to arrange me into a marriage either. They just didn't think Kento's dad was manly enough for me. They didn't like seeing me wear the pants in the relationship, but that's just what works for us... I use to beg for them to just let us be happy, but they never stopped criticizing him. I finally just.. stopping talking to them when I fell pregnant with Kento." She explains in a voice raw with emotion. You can clearly see how this still impacts her to this day.
"I don't want Ken to do the same to me... I want to be in his and your life and my future grandchild's life if that's what you two choose to do. I raised him well, and I know he has a good judgement of character. So, I know you must be a good person. If he's happy, then that's all that matters to me." She goes on, giving you a small apologetic smile. "I'm really sorry for how I acted towards you last night. It will never happen again."
*** *** ***
Nanami had spent the whole day checking his phone religiously while his dad kept him employed with random home renovation tasks. He was waiting for the moment to start packing up your stuff and telling his mom that he wasn't going to speak to them again.
When he heard sounds of wailing coming from the front door, he immediately hopped off the ladder that his dad was holding for him.
"Kento-!" His dad shouts as he wobbles around, but Nanami was already speed walking towards the front door to see what was happening.
To his surprise, there was no wailing. It was only hysterical laughter coming from you and his mom. He stood in the door way with a confused look on his face as he observed you two.
"Yes, he was such a cutie pie.." His mom laughs as she shows you another picture of Kento in high school.
"Aww, Ken... you didn't tell me you were emo." You greeted your boyfriend with a fit of giggles from seeing his high school photos. His fringe proudly in view.
Nanami rakes his hands through his shorter hair now, and he lets out a relieved laugh. Seeing you interact so happily with his mom was enough to make him feel full with love. His heart feels at ease now... until he remembers that he has to meet your parents at some point.
tags: @lemonlimecrystal-blog @theuniversesnepobaby
#jjk#jjk fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#drabble#fanfic#jjk suggestive#jjk nanami#jjk smut#nanami smut#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#college nanami#jjk college au#nerd!nanami#kento fluff#jjk gojo#kento smut#kento x reader#jjk kento#kento x y/n#nanamin
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𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞, 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
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FICMAS DAY 3: GIFT-GIVING
bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: as bucky’s secret santa, you’re determined to give him the best christmas present he’s ever received.
contains: grumpy buck fluff, some angst, idiots who are crushing hard, swearing
word count: 2.4k
a/n: this is a long one i’m apologizing in advance
i am SO SORRY for crickets in the ficmas department the past week, i hit a big brick wall with this and i’ve been so all over the place with my own holiday planning and such that i ended up having to cut the masterlist in half because i knew i couldn’t get it all done. i’m very sorry to anyone who was looking forward to what got scrapped, but i couldn’t bring myself to rush through writing and put out something i don’t believe it my best work.
also, do people even want avengers fix it fics anymore?? i debated between the “everything is fine the team lives at the compound together” vibe and setting this post tfatws, but ultimately decided the former was easier to write. and i think it worked in my favor because this turned out really cute :)
!! divider by @strangergraphics !!
FICMAS MASTERLIST
your heart feels like it’s going to burst out of your chest.
who’s idea was this again? wanda? tony? steve? it didn’t matter anymore. all that mattered right now was that you didn’t pass out in the elevator. a feat that was becoming more and more difficult the closer you got to your destination.
a secret santa is supposed to bring you joy, not near paralyzing anxiety.
at first, you were 100% on board with participating in a gift exchange. as much as you wanted to shower all of your teammates with presents galore, not everyone shared the same sentiment, and thus the idea of a secret santa was proposed.
excitement courses through your veins as you reach your hand into the cheap santa hat tony grabbed from god knows where in storage, with little pieces of paper containing the names of your fellow avengers. you decided to wait until you were back in the privacy of your room to open it up, afraid of any wandering eyes taking a peak. the last thing you wanted was the element of surprise to be stripped away. it was half the fun after all.
as sam pulls the last name, you quietly excuse yourself and all but rush upstairs, too eager to get in the holiday spirit and brainstorm. as soon as the door shuts behind you, you hurriedly reveal the contents of the paper.
if it’s natasha, i can get her a pair of ballet slippers. she’s been mentioning how she wants to start dancing again.
what about bruce? maybe a journal for all his ideas? he always seems to be losing sticky notes in the lab.
a million different ideas swirl around in your head, reminding you just how much joy this time of year brings. to you, there was nothing better than seeing the gleeful looks on people’s faces when they opened their gifts. the corners of your mouth turn up at the memory of your first christmas with the team. how shy and reluctant you were, afraid of going overboard. now, a few years later, you’re completely unabashed in showing just how much you care about them.
your bright smile morphs into a deep frown as you unfold the paper.
bucky barnes.
quite possibly the most difficult person you could’ve chosen.
to be clear, there’s nothing wrong with bucky. he may be a bit grumpy and standoffish, but it’s with good reason and you know it. that also doesn’t change the fact that he’s going to be impossible to try and shop for.
what do you get for the man who seemingly despises anything the modern world has to offer? the same man who you’re 99% sure hates your guts. come to think of it, how did you even pull him? he most definitely wasn’t downstairs 20 minutes ago when everyone scribbled down their names and tossed them in tony’s direction.
it was irrelevant now. you were stuck being his secret santa, and you’d be damned if you didn’t give james buchanan barnes the best christmas gift he’s ever gotten in his century-long lifetime.
the two weeks it took to come up with an idea sure felt like a century. if it wasn’t for the concerning amount of snooping you did, you’d probably be showing up empty handed. thankfully, at almost 1 in the morning on a random tuesday, a lightbulb went off in your brain. you scrambled bright and early the next day to go shopping, and by some lucky form of divine intervention, you acquired the perfect gift.
flash forward to now, and you’re carrying an insanely large box up to bucky’s room. in a blatant stray from what the rest of the team was doing, you decided to give him his present one on one, secluded from everyone else. partly because you were afraid of public embarrassment if he hated it, and partly because you knew bucky wasn’t very fond of being put on display.
you hope he’ll at least be grateful for that.
when the elevator finally chimes, signaling you’ve arrived at the dormitory floor, the box nearly slips from your grasp. not just from how heavy it was, but from the nervous sweat coating your palms.
the hallway is quiet enough to hear a pin drop, save for the faint sound of christmas music playing over the speakers. with careful, calculated steps, you make your way down the length of the corridor, dragging your feet the closer you get to bucky’s room. there’s a small part of you that hopes he’s downstairs in the gym, the kitchen, the backyard, anywhere but here. dropping and dashing wasn’t what you had in mind, but the anxious thumping of your heart was becoming unbearable. you know it will only amplify tenfold if you’re forced to stare into those steel blue eyes of his. the thought alone sends a chill down your spine.
you freeze in place when you hear the sound of a door knob clicking open.
please be wanda’s room, please be wanda’s room.
in front of you, the very last door on the left creaks open, revealing the tall and brooding super soldier whose company you were aiming to avoid.
it’s easy to forget how handsome bucky barnes is when he normally does nothing but grimace in your direction.
you still weren’t used to his new haircut, but it was clear he felt significantly more confident with it. is that a hint of aftershave, or cologne? whatever it was, the scent fit him perfectly; cedarwood with a hint of spice. the green henley he wears fits snugly against his broad frame, emphasizing all the muscles you’ve been caught staring at on more than one occasion. for once, he’s not wearing a scowl, though that changes when he catches sight of you.
surely you must look strange, standing dumbfounded in the middle of the hall with a box covered in santa-printed wrapping paper and a big bow that you can barely hold. right now the floor opening up and swallowing you whole was at the top of your wish list. and st. nick better make it quick.
bucky’s expression shifts from one of disdain to curiosity as he quirks a brow wordlessly. your own knit together in frustration, knowing you now had no choice but to do this exchange face to face.
“need any help?” he questions monotonously. as much as you want to be prideful and reject it, your arms feel like they’re going to fall off any second. he seems to catch your drift despite a verbal response, because in the blink of an eye he’s striding towards you, sweeping the gift from your arms and into his own with ease. you try not to gape at the way his biceps strain against fabric.
you stutter out a “thanks,” as you straighten out your sweater. bucky grunts in return and eyes the package in his hands cautiously. you’re half expecting him to shake it like a child when you catch the tiniest twitch of his upper lip.
it’s the closest thing to a smile he’s ever shown in your presence. something that gives you the courage to actually form a sentence instead of continuing to gawk at him.
here goes nothing.
“this is for you, actually,” you manage to shakily breathe out. bucky halts his observations, a glimmer of surprise briefly dancing across his face.
a beat of silence passes between you. “don’t remember asking for anything," he finally says. it’s still laced with his typical dry sarcasm, but there’s a legitimate amusement in his tone that can’t be missed.
you narrow your eyes at him playfully, feeling a little bit more at ease now that he didn’t completely rebuff you.
“i’m your secret santa, smartass,” you jab with your hands on your hips.
for the first time ever, bucky smirks at you.
“don’t recall asking for that either.”
you throw your hands up in defense, offering him a surprisingly nonchalant shrug. “don’t blame me, i’m pretty sure steve was the one who put your name in.”
“punk,” the man grumbles. he shakes his head, attention turning back to the present in hand once more.
despite his apparent annoyance, you can’t seem to stop yourself from continuing on.
“i know you’re supposed to do this kind of thing with everyone around,” you start off shaky, afraid of upsetting him any more than you may already have. his gaze immediately falls to you upon hearing your voice.
“i also know you’re not a big fan of being the center of attention,” you continue, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jeans. “figured you’d like this better if it was in private.”
bucky’s features soften. his jaw unclenched, his eyes not so narrow and judgmental. he looks relieved, flattered; a myriad of things you can’t name or place.
“i appreciate that,” he admits, suddenly shy and impish. for a second, he completely forgets about the gift you brought. the simple fact that you were kind enough to consider his feelings, despite how cold he could be to you, makes his heart skip a beat.
you simply nod your head in reply, teetering back and forth on your feet awkwardly trying to decipher your next move.
“you don’t have to open that right now you know.”
he sets the box down on the floor next to his door. “kinda defeats the purpose don’t you think?”
you shrug. “whatever you’re comfortable with. doesn’t matter what you’re “supposed to do.””
why did you care so much about his comfort level? he hardly showed any concern for yours. the notion consumes his thoughts, prohibiting him from offering anything except a nod of acknowledgement.
that awkward silence comes once again, signaling maybe you’ve overstayed your welcome, or that the moment of peace is over. you check your watch in hopes that father time was ending this exchange for you.
just your luck, he’s right on schedule.
“i uh, better get downstairs,” you announce, pointing your thumb in the direction of the elevator. “don’t wanna miss thor forcing everyone to do christmas karaoke.”
a noise akin to laughter snorts out of bucky’s nose, evoking a delightful warmth in your chest. it was different than all the other times you’ve been flustered in the presence of the super soldier. this was less about intimidation and more about…camaraderie. now wondering if maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.
it’s exactly what you need to reignite your holiday cheer and shed any remaining worries.
before you can second guess, you turn on your heels, closing the gap between your bodies. wrapping a hand around his arm, his metal arm, and offering a gentle caress, the sincerity in your words is clear as day.
“merry christmas buck.”
your touch burns straight through vibranium all the way to his chest. across his entire body, igniting every cell ablaze. a fire consuming him in ways unimaginable.
and yet. he enjoyed the burn.
as you pull away, much to his dismay, the tips of his fingers brush against the inside of your wrist. goosebumps errupt on your skin, from the cool metal, or that fact that bucky was so pretty this close, only time would tell.
“you too,” he murmurs with a faint grin. the soft crinkles by his eyes are likely going to be the subject of your daydreams for the next week.
you flash him a smile over your shoulder before turning down the hall and averting his gaze, not wanting him to see just how much you were blushing.
while unbeknownst to you, bucky was now a very bright shade of red.
he waits until he can hear the elevator doors close before slipping back into his room and very carefully unwrapping the box. there’s a nervousness in his stomach that’s unfamiliar, but not unpleasant. as the bare brown packaging becomes exposed, he begins ripping back the numerous layers of packing tape. you really took your time on this, he thinks to himself.
that funny feeling only amplifies when he sees the contents of the box.
a record player, a very expensive looking one at that, sits inside with another three wrapped items that he concludes are vinyls, judging from their flatness. on top of it all, there was a small note shrouded in luxe stationary. bucky’s heart stutters when he sees his name scribbled delicately in your handwriting.
his fingers falter briefly before he digs into the envelope.
i know this isn’t like the ones from the 40s, but it’s the closest thing i could find. also got a few of your favorite records, and one i think you’ll like too. don’t forget i have quite a collection of my own in case you ever want to try something new.
merry christmas ♡
bucky unceremoniously plops down on the edge of his bed. the normally stiff feeling mattress now mirrored a sea of clouds and feathers. he’d gladly sink into the abyss of softness, if it meant pumping the brakes on his thundering heartbeat.
from the moment he met you, bucky knew he was in trouble.
you had an aura about you that was magnetic, always drawing people in and bathing them in your light. your unconditional kindness and consideration, hell, even your mere presence in a room seemed to liven it up entirely. it was a hypnotizing, almost dangerous thing for the man, and if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was to push people away. for their sake, and his. bucky was certain that once he started keeping his distance, that you’d eventually give up in trying to crack his tough outer shell, or that the silly feelings he had would disappear.
but right now, as he’s staring at your handwriting and rubbing his thumb repeatedly over that little heart, he knows it was all in vain.
later that night, he stares up at the ceiling, listening to the familiar croon of it’s been a long, long time wafting from his present. he tries to focus on the beauty of the song, or the lights he can see from his window twinkling out on the lawn, but it’s nearly impossible. you’re the subject of all his thoughts. have been since the moment he saw you standing out in the hall. from the scent of your perfume to the little intricacies of your penmanship. the thing that’s plaguing him the most, however, is your hand on his arm.
bucky’s real arm had been gone for over half a century, having stopped experiencing phantom limb syndrome ages ago. yet somehow he felt it there, clear as day. the same tactile sensations on his flesh, right arm, in the metal prosthetic of his left. an electric shock that he’s never recognized before, and that he wouldn’t be opposed to feeling again.
tomorrow, he plans to thank steve for mischievously adding his name into the lottery.
and to ask you about your record collection.
thanks for reading! <3
tag list: @alastor-simp @j4desblurbs @pandapetals
!! if you would like to be tagged in the rest of the ficmas blurbs, please send me an inbox message or leave a comment !!
#retrosabers#sid writes shit#ficmas#ficmas 2024#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes#the falcon and the winter soldier#sebastian stan
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Tsuma is an INSANE one to start on but also a fantastic one... I think my first was SP so it's so funny we've "traded" those specific shows lmao BUT YEAH. YEAH. I BELIEVE YOU. I'M GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT KEISUKE BUT NOT ANYTIME SOON. Tsutsumi's Princess Peach lips every time Maida squishes his face 😭😭😭😭😭
The moment outside the school basically condenses everything about the show for me it's so perfect and cute but I'm INTERNALLY SCREAMING AT ALL OF THIS BEING SAID OUT LOUD... PLEASE... YOU'RE GOING TO END UP ANOTHER IMPRISONED TSUTSUMI... He really is SUCH a malewife though that's what destroyed me frame one... especially because he's really similar to how Tsutsumi talks about himself so like perfect casting I hope he had fun with the role... Definitely continuing when I can are you kiddinggggg
Well Hopefully You Still Think AtR's Cute And/Or Sweet Wherever You're At Now So The Rest Of This Isn't Embarrassing LGSKFJLGJ BUT YEAH... YEAH... I'm aro myself so all that's Complicated right, and definitely something I tried to consider when Sorta-Not-Really-Recommending, but it's good to hear it can be entertaining even without being able to relate :']
THAT COULD'VE GONE /WAY/ SOUTH AT THE PANEL but I'm glad everyone made it out unharmed😭😭😭BUT YEAH... at the end of the Ohashi arc when Ogata threw all his stuff off the desk and the gang just wordlessly put it back for him 'cause that's all they can do... ough. Momence. That's why it was so sick watching everything fall into place [temporarily]. Also appreciate the Jo-ism in doing all the dirty work for a politician in the family and wanting to be stopped without saying it upfront and uhhhhh being fine with dying and/or going to prison LMAO
OH BUT NO PROB it is always tradition for me to send the translated letter once I've indoctrinated someone new :] funny thing is every single version I've sent is different because I've been editing it to this day
AGAIN i chose tsuma cause the title was Utterly Insane and i just had to see for myself what the fuck was going on and im so glad i did... funny that we did trade first-watches (and fun that i get 'my own version' of ogata's letter lmao) :)
BUT YEAHYEAH keisuke's adorable.. like genuinely i think he's tsutsumi's cutest role ive seen so far its hard for me to imagine one topping it in regards to how endearing he is (❁´◡`❁) keisuke being so enamored by his wife but being So Blind To How Things Look is genuinely super funny. like poor guy really is just super happy to have his wife back in a way but not yk (╯▽╰;;; )
Horribly i think of okita from that Taboo movie when it comes to consuming media: even if i dont personally have that experience or understand 100%, i can still appreciate a good story and characters (im paraphrasing SO hard and with less homophobia </3), so if you got anythin good throw it my way anytime ♪(´▽`) !! i'm about to start episode eight in a bit but NO WORRIES i still very much am a fan of the show !! and im sad/excited to see im almost done with it ( sad its almost over, but also SUPER interested to see how everything comes together in the end (☆▽☆) )
#long post#snap chats#tsutsumi drinking game where you have to guess his chara either ends up dead in jail or Somehow Ok ☠️☠️#keisuke's such a dork... he's literally such a puppy of a man right down to being Stupid Loyal it warms my heart (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)#i LOVEE it when takae squishes his face cause I Repeat... he does look super cute and silly...#that's literally all i can say about him He's Cute And Silly and it's why he's one of my fave tsutsumi roles#the best things in life are cute and silly.... its why i love kirby...#now i wonder about how tsutsumi talks about himself if keisuke reminds you of him... inch resting... but i believe its a perfect casting..#BUT ANYWAY YEAH NO the one thing i like about psychology is that it helps me understand people more#or at least im more willing to investigate why X and Y is a thing for Z yk#so Again even if i havent personally experienced something or get it from a Personal perspective i can still work out how other people feel#and just immerse myself and still enjoy the media :)#AH BUT YEAH THE BIT WHERE OGATA THROWS ALL HIS STUFF ON THE GROUND lit the peak ABSOLUTE Top Ten momence#cause Yeah No we're ALL frustrated for him at this point with how much he keeps getting shot down for actually trying to do his job#but not do his job TOO well no cause God Forbid THAT happens i guess. again makes it hard to be mad at him for being out of pocket lmao#IN ANY CASE im gonna go do somethin quick then im gon finish AtR either within the next two hours or at least this morning BYE#birthday went fine nothing too remarkable happened other than my sis and her boyfriend made pizza and it was real good#then they my bro and i all played smash bros and i was trying my best Not to play too seriously cause ik my sis and her bf dont game much#but my bro and i do and i at least wanted to give em a chance to have fun ☠️ alright ima go take care of That Thing BYE
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The Cost of Duty
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Gwayne Hightower x Fem!Reader
Summary: Gwayne Hightower, is summoned in Kingslanding during his wife’s first pregnancy. After giving birth to their son without him, she struggles to forgive Gwayne upon his return.
Warnings: lots of angst because our girl is alone but a good ending i guess ?
A/N: no use of Y/N and also included Daeron in the fanfic, he’s 7 yrs old and raised by Gwayne and his wife
- Word count: ≈2.9k
Your hand rests on your growing belly, feeling the subtle movements of your child. The babe is still small, just five moons along, but every tiny kick, is a reminder of the life growing inside you, a life you created with Gwayne. Yet, as the days pass, it feels like you are experiencing this miracle alone.
The door creaks open, and Gwayne steps inside, his expression tired as he pulls off his gloves. His face is lined with the exhaustion of someone who has been carrying the weight of Oldtown on his shoulders.
You watch him as he moves around the room, setting his things aside without a word. A part of you wants to let it go, to simply accept that he is busy, that he is doing his duty. But another part aches for his attention, for the warmth and closeness you once shared.
"Gwayne," you say, your voice soft.
He looks up, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he looks away again. "Yes, my love?"
You hesitate, trying to find the right words. "You've been so distant lately," you begin, trying to keep a calm tone. "I understand that your duties are important, but... I miss you. I miss us."
He sighs, rubbing his temple as he moves closer to you. "I know, my love. I know it has been difficult. But there is so much that needs my attention. With Father in King’s Landing, everything falls to me."
"But what about me?" you ask, your voice rising slightly. "What about our child? I need you, Gwayne. We need you."
He looks at you, with guilt in his eyes. "I am here now, am I not? I’m doing the best I can. But Oldtown... it doesn’t run itself."
You stand, unable to keep your frustration to yourself. "And what about me? Do I run myself too? I sit here every single day, waiting for you, hoping for just a moment of your time. But when you finally come, it’s like you’re not really here.”
You pause.
“You do not even look at me unless I speak to you first."
Gwayne steps back, as if putting distance between you would solve your problems. "I do not have the privilege of simply putting things aside, my dear. You knew this when we married."
"I didn’t know it would mean being ignored!" you snap, your hands trembling as you grip the skirts of your dress tightly.
He takes a deep breath. "I’m doing this for us, for our future. The child’s future. Can you not see that?"
Tears threaten to fall out your eyes, but you refuse to cry. "I just want my husband back," you whisper.
Gwayne’s face softens, and he reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away before he can touch you. “My love-"
"Don’t," you say, "Just... don’t."
He watches you for a moment, but he says nothing more, only turning and leaving the room, the sound of the door closing behind him, leaving you alone again.
Days pass, and the tension between you two only grows. Gwayne is present, but his mind is always on his duties. You feel as if you’re growing further and further away from him.
One evening, after a long day, Gwayne finally sits down beside you as you take your evening meal. You’ve been silent for most of the day, and now the sight of him so close yet so distant is almost unbearable.
He clears his throat, breaking the silence. "I have received a raven from King’s Landing today," he begins.
"And?" You replied unphased, not even looking at him.
"Father has summoned me," he says, "He needs my presence to sort out some political matters."
You place your spoon down. "King’s Landing?" you repeat, disbelief in your words. "That’s so far... and I’m already five moons along, Gwayne."
"I know," he says, his voice low. "But I will be returning as soon as I can. I won’t let anything keep me from being here for the birth."
You shake your head, unable to believe what you’re hearing. "You don’t know that. What if something happens? What if you don’t make it back in time?"
"I will," he insists, reaching for your hand, but you pull it back.
"You’re not listening to me!" you raise your voice at him, your frustration taking over. "You’re choosing to leave. You’re choosing your father over me. Over us."
He frowns. "It’s not a choice, my dearest. It is a duty. My father needs me."
"And I need you," you sob, your voice breaking. "I can’t do this alone, Gwayne. I shouldn’t have to. You are my husband before anything else."
He reaches out again, but this time you stand, moving away from him. "Please," he begins, but you shake your head.
"Don’t ask me to understand," you say, "Because I don’t."
After a long moment of silence, you hear him rise from his seat. "I’m leaving in three days time," he says quietly, his voice filled with regret. "Please, try to rest.”
You say nothing, you hear the door close behind him, and you break down crying, once again, you are left alone.
The night before he’s supposed to leave, Gwayne comes to your shared chambers, his expression softer than it’s been in weeks. He moves to sit beside you on the bed, his hand resting on your knee.
"I know you’re angry with me," he begins, his voice gentle. "But I don’t want to leave on bad terms. I love you. You must know that."
You turn to face him, your emotions a mix of anger, sadness, and love. "If you loved me, you wouldn’t be leaving."
He looks surprised, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your neck, his hand sliding up your nightgown. "Let me show you," he murmurs as he presses tender kisses down your collarbone.
But the anger and hurt are still too fresh. You place a hand on his chest, pushing him back firmly. "Not tonight, Gwayne."
He pulls back, surprise and hurt showing in his eyes. "My love..."
"I can’t," you say, "I’m still angry. I need...time."
He nods understandingly. "I am sorry," he whispers, pulling you into his arms despite your anger. "I am truly, so sorry."
You let him hold you, sobbing into his arms without saying a word.
Gwayne leaves at dawn, you watch from the window, your hand resting over your belly as he rides away. He turns once, looking back, but you don’t move. You don’t wave.
As the days turn into weeks, the loneliness only grows. Gwayne’s absence is a constant reminder of the growing distance between you. You try to busy yourself with tasks; embroidering blankets for the babe, reading, even taking long walks through the gardens. But nothing can fill the void he has left behind.
You spend time with Daeron, Gwayne’s youngest nephew, who has been staying in Oldtown under your and your husband’s care since he was born, and he had now seven years of age.
One afternoon, as the two of you sit beneath the shade of a large tree, Daeron looks up at you sadly.
You reach out, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “What’s on your mind, sweetling?”
Daeron glances up at you, his blue eyes filled with a sadness. “Auntie… will you and Uncle Gwayne forget about me when the babe is born?”
The question catches you off guard. You shift closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a gentle embrace. “Forget about you? Never, Daeron. Why would you think such a thing?”
He shrugs, trying to appear indifferent, but his voice trembles as he speaks. “Because the babe is your child. He’ll be important, and I’m just… I’m just your nephew.”
You tighten your hold on him, your heart breaking at the thought that he feels so insecure. “Daeron, listen to me,” you say softly. “You are not just our nephew. You’re as much a part of this family as the babe will be. Gwayne and I love you dearly, and nothing will ever change that.”
His eyes fill with tears. “But… he’ll be your real son. Won’t you love him more?”
You shake your head. “Of course not, sweetling. I will love both of you equally, just as if you were both my sons. I promise you that. You and the babe will grow up together, and I will raise you both as brothers. Nothing will change how much I care for you.”
Daeron’s lip trembles, and he finally allows himself to lean into your hug, resting his head against your shoulder. “You mean it? You won’t forget about me?”
You press a kiss to the top of his head. “I mean it, Daeron. You are very dear to me. The babe will be your little brother, and he will look up to you, just like you look up to Gwayne. I’m sure you’ll be the best big brother anyone could ask for.”
He sniffles but nods. “I will teach him all the things I know. How to ride a horse, and how to climb trees…”
“And how to be kind and brave, just like you,” you add with a smile.
Daeron smiles a little. “I’ll do my best. I promise.”
You hug him tighter. “I know you will, Daeron. And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”
He pulls back slightly, looking up at you with determination. “I’ll be the best big brother ever.”
You smile, ruffling his hair affectionately. “I’m sure you will be, my love. And the babe will be so lucky to have you as his brother.”
The boy’s expression softens as he looks at your belly. “Do you think he’ll be just like uncle Gwayne? Brave and strong?”
You hesitate for a moment, the thought of Gwayne filling your mind with sadness. “Perhaps,” you say gently.
Daeron nods, then his face brightens again as he looks up at you. “Can I help you pick out a name for him?”
Your smile widens at the offer. “Of course. Do you have any ideas?”
He thinks for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration. “What about Maelor? It’s a strong name, isn’t it?”
You tilt your head, considering the name. “Maelor…” you say slowly. “Yes, it is a strong name.”
Daeron smiles, clearly proud of himself. “I can’t wait to meet him, auntie. We’re going to have so much fun together.”
As the months drag on, you begin to feel your belly grow heavier each day. Letters from Gwayne arrive frequently, filled with words of love and concern, but you don’t care to answer them.
You feel alone, as the weeks turn into months and the baby gets more active. Every kick is a reminder that the time is running out and you can only hope that Gwayne comes back in time.
But as your belly grows, so too does your anxiety.
One evening, you feel a sharp pain. You clutch at your belly. It’s too soon, you think. Gwayne isn’t here. He promised he would be here.
The pain intensifies, and you know without a doubt that the babe is coming. Your maids rush to your side, their faces filled with worry as they help you to your bed. The midwives and the maester are summoned.
You grip the sheets, your knuckles turning white. “It’s too soon,” you gasp, tears streaming down your face. “Gwayne isn’t here… he isn’t here…”
The midwife shushes you gently, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Breathe, my lady. Focus on the baby. He’s eager to meet you.”
The labor is long, painful, and each moment is filled with fear.
At one point, you feel that you can’t go on, the pain too much to bear. “I can’t,” you cry out, “I can’t do this…”
“You can, my lady,” the midwife insists. “You’re strong. Your baby needs you.”
The room is full of faces, of whispers and encouragements, of hands holding yours as you push with all your strength.
Hours pass, and just when you think you have nothing left to give, you hear it. A loud cry that fills the room. The midwives wrap the tiny babe in soft blankets before placing him in your arms.
Tears stream down your face as you look down at your son cry. He’s perfect, you think.
“Maelor,” you whisper, “my sweet Maelor.”
Days pass, and the babe grows stronger, his cries filling the empty chambers that once were filled with silence. Daeron is overjoyed to meet his new brother.
“Can I hold him?” Daeron asks one afternoon, his eyes wide with excitement.
You smile, carefully placing Maelor in his small arms. “Support his head,” you instruct gently, watching as Daeron cradles the baby with surprising care.
“He’s so small,” Daeron whispers. “Will he be strong like uncle Gwayne?”
You nod, your heart filled with pride. “He will. But he’ll also have your kindness, Daeron. He’ll need you to show him how to be a good man.”
Daeron’s face lights up, and he nods eagerly. “I will. I promise.”
You watch as Daeron gently rocks Maleor, your heart warming at the sight. For a moment, the loneliness fades, replaced by the joy of watching your sons together.
But as the days turn into weeks, Geayne sends letters, each one more desperate than the last, asking about Lucerys, about you, about your health. But you can’t bring yourself to respond, the anger still too fresh.
Maelor grows, his tiny fists curling around your fingers, tugging at your hair, his eyes beginning to focus on your face. He’s beautiful, perfect in every single way, and yet every time you look at him, you’re reminded of Gwayne’s absence.
Two months pass before Gwayne finally returns. Word reaches you that he is only an hour away, but you remain in the nursery, rocking your son in your arms as you sit by the window.
Despite knowing Gwayne is coming home, you make no move to greet him at the gates.
Footsteps approach, and a moment later the door to the nursery swings open. Gwayne stands there, his eyes searching for you immediately. He takes a step inside, his gaze falling on you and the child in your arms. “My love…”
You do not look up, focusing instead on Maelor. Gwayne approaches you, dropping to his knees beside you. “Please, look at me. I am so sorry…”
You remain silent, unwilling to let your emotions show. Gwayne reaches out, placing his hand on top of yours. “I know I’ve hurt you. I never meant to be away for so long. I didn’t think it would be so… difficult.”
You glance up then, your eyes meeting his.
“I needed you,” you say quietly. “I went through the hardest moments of my life without you, Gwayne. And now… now you come back and expect everything to be as it was?”
“I do not expect that,” he says, “I know I’ve done wrong. And I can’t change what’s happened… but please, give me a chance to make it right. I want to be here for you, for our son.”
You look down at your son, your heart aching. “Maelor is already two months old,” you say, your voice barely a whisper. “You’ve missed so much, Gwayne. His first smile, the way he grabs my finger when he’s hungry… you weren’t here.”
Gwayne’s breath hitches, and he finally touches Maelor’s tiny hand, his fingers trembling as they brush against the babe’s soft skin. “I know,” he whispers. “I am truly so sorry, my love. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. Please… let me be here now. Let me be the father he deserves, the husband you deserve.”
“We’ll see,” you say quietly. “For now, all that matters is that Maelor is healthy and safe.” You pause and take a deep breath, “But… I want us to be a family, Gwayne. For Maelor and Daeron.”
Gwayne nods. “Thank you,” he whispers, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your son’s forehead. “Thank you for giving me a healthy son, my dear. I promise, I’ll spend the rest of my life making this right.”
You watch as he cradles the babe in his arms, the sight filling you with joy.
PS: I know I have to start writing for other characters, I just love this man so much 😔 So just a reminder that my requests are open 🥰🥰
#gwayne fanfic#gwayne hightower#gwayne hightower fanfic#gwayne hightower x reader#gwayne hightower x you#gwayne imagine#gwayne x you#gwayne x reader#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#hotd x reader#ser gwayne hightower#hotd season 2#hotd#hotd s2
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dating him | bang chan
❝ have i told you how beautiful you look this morning? ❞
CHAN | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin
chan as ur bf wow congratulations
it’s giving strangers to lovers if i’m being fr
u just meet on a random tuesday like nothing out of the ordinary
conversation is made and for SOME reason, chan always feels the cogs in his head stop turning when he’s talking to u
like it feels like he’s constantly on the run all the time so how come with u it’s so different
what did u do to him
well wtvr long story short, he FELL
fell hard
now he’s ur bf
ok hear me out
perk #1: unlimited supply of his hoodies
he’d love it too .. when u wear his hoodie
doesn’t even try to act upset or bothered that u’re stealing his clothes
sometimes he’s the one to even put it on ur bed so u can wear it after u shower
or when u’re coming home from the dorm and when u open ur bag .. oh! his hoodie!
“ah, i must’ve misplaced it 😅😅😅”
yeaaaaaaaaah sure
sure u misplace the hoodie in ur very pink bag instead of his black bag
u’re not very slick christopher bang
u don’t mind tho
his hoodies are always xxxxl in size and it smells like him
perk #2: u have ur own man wife
that man knows how to do everything
he can fix ur sink, build u a table, put oil on ur doorknobs so they don’t harden, can clean, like what can’t he do
have u seen hometown cha cha cha? he’s giving very Chief Hong in his skills
(minho does too but we’ll talk about him in his post)
oh, did i mention he can cook too
one of his favorite little mini dates is when u just go thru cookbooks together
and then … cook
i’m sorry this man is a sucker for domestic things like this
and cooking together means u also grocery shop together
a fun challenge he made up is where u pick up random ingredients and try to make something decent out of it
maaaaaan he’s just giving husband
anyways back to cooking
imagine him in the kitchen right
and he’s tasting something new he made
ofc u’re curious too cos wow whatever the hell he’s making smells and looks good
when you try to ask him if you can taste it, he’d KISS you
“how do you like it? 😏😏😏”
😳😳😳😳
he’s getting bold
he does strike me as shy at first in relationships
and then when u’re together for long, u’re like damn this man kinda freaky
perk #3: his dog
berry loves u
like sometimes even more than chan
(it’s bc u give her extra treats when u can)
u walk his dog together early in the morning
it’s kind of become routine
u’d just get out of bed with messy hair and still in ur pajamas while chan is perfectly ready bc he loves waking up early when he can
u don’t even care that u look like a mess
bc chan always reminds u how beautiful u are every morning
so … messy hair and pajamas … putting the leash on berry and walking outside
it’d just be quiet mostly on the walk
there’s no need for conversation with chan sometimes
chan would say he finally knows what peace means after meeting u
his favorite scene ever is coming home and finding u asleep on the couch with berry
he has a million pictures of that on ur phone
like different days, same scene
sets it as his lockscreen even
on nights u can spend together, u enjoy watching cringy christmas movies w him
cue recreating the scenes
except it’s a massive failure bc both of u just can’t stop laughing
u especially love those christmas movies one
“I DONT HAVE A TWIN WE CANT RECREATE THE PRINCESS SWITCH”
u end up just falling asleep together
ofc not without cuddling and intimate kisses
chan finds he sleeps easier bc of u
he used to always find it so difficult to fall asleep before
so how come it’s as easy as closing his eyes now
btw u two most probably have promise rings
and he most probably wears it as a necklace
and he loves hugging u from behind
chan loves being able to nuzzle his cheek on ur back and hold u
he’d probably do that thing where u’re unaware and then BAM a pair of arms around ur waist
his chin on ur shoulder
oh Wow….. wow i just made myself crazy thinking about that
he’d lean in to kiss ur neck or ur chin bc it’s closest access
and he’d just look at whatever the hell u’re doing
chan loves looking at u
does that sound creepy
he just loves observing u ok !!!!!!
esp when u’re doing something u love
his heart goes 💗💞💕💕💝💘💖💞💓💓
bc that’s his baby
he just adores u tbh
u could just be standing there and chan’s looking at u with heart eyes
anyways whatever CONGRATULATIONS
u guys will probably last forever bc he’s whipped and so in love
he’s giving me the More In Love vibe
like when he falls, he FALLS
happy 4 u
note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
#k-labels#stray kids x you#stray kids x reader#chan x reader#bang chan x reader#chan x y/n#chan x you#skz x reader#skz x you#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#bang chan fluff#chan fluff#bang chan fic#stray kids drabbles#stray kids blurbs#chan drabble#stray kids chan drabbles#stray kids chan blurbs#kpop fluff#kpop imagines#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#kpop scenarios#bang chan scenarios#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#chan scenarios#chan headcanons#bang chan headcanons
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A Neighbor With An Alien Secret
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"When are you going to finish the report? It's taking foreveeeer. His wife and kids will be back soon from church!" I complain to Matthew, my hot, muscular neighbor who is focused on writing the monthly report for his kind.
I’m lying on Matt’s bed, bored as I waited for him. Earlier this morning, as soon as I saw Matt’s wife leaving with their kids for church, I didn’t waste a moment—I knocked on Matt’s door and walked right in.
"Be patient, I'm almost done. I need to put in the report every tiny detail about my experience of living as Matt for the past month. This is very important, you know that." He says while still writing.
I stand up and walk towards him. I am completely naked—there's no need to wear clothes around Matt anymore. Standing behind him, I start to gently massage his large, broad shoulders.
"You're not going to tell them about me right?" I ask teasingly, running my hands down to his huge pecs and squeezing them. My fingers quickly find his nipples, and I play with them, making Matt stop typing and let out a deep, baritone moan.
"Of course not. If they find out, they will exterminate both of us. You for knowing too much, and me for letting a human know about our kind."
I look at the small hole at the top of Matt's shaved head, it is no larger than the diameter of a pencil. I then kiss Matt's neck and whisper in his ear to stand up. He obeys and looks at me, confused. Taking his place on the chair, I spread my legs, displaying my hard throbbing cock, and smirk at him. "C'mon, sit on my cock. This way I get to fuck you while you still finish your dumb report."
A grin forms on Matt's lips, and he slowly pulls down his yellow shorts, his thick and soft cock is now hanging between his legs, but that's not why I came here.
He turns around and slowly sits down on my cock, his muscular ass swallows my cock until I am fully inside of him. We both let out a loud, shared moan.
"Unghh... ahhh... Fuck, it feels so good. I don't understand why Matt never used his ass to feel pleasure before." Matt says as he presses his ass against my crotch, careful not to crush me under his weight.
"Matt was the straightest guy I've ever known, he would rather be dead than to be fucked by another man. Gladly, you know how to use his muscles better than him, especially the muscles in his ass," I gave his ass a hard slap and he started bouncing harder. He fucked himself on my cock as his manly hands typed on the keyboard at an inhumane pace.
"Can you read the report to me, please? I'm curious to know what you wrote about Matt," I ask between moans. Matt obeys and starts reading his report.
"Host integration has been highly successful. The capsule was inserted in the vessel's brain and I'm now fully in control of Matthew Grayson, a 32-year-old human male residing in suburban North America. Grayson’s wife, Emily, and their two children remain unaware of the takeover. No one knows that the real Matthew is gone and that his body is just a lifeless meat puppet controlled by an extraterrestrial creature. As per protocol, I've been studying his daily routines, habits, and interpersonal relationships..."
As he continued reading the report, my mind went back to when everything started a month ago.
-------------------------------------
Matt was your typical douchbag of a neighbor, he was a religious alpha male with a wife and four kids, and with very conservative beliefs. So of course he hated having me—a gay guy—as his neighbor, and he would be proud to always let me know that. He would give me intimidating looks whenever he saw me looking toward him, or exaggerated whispers to his wife as I passed by, Matt had made it his personal mission to remind me that I didn’t belong there.
One day, after coming back from church, Matt went to his porch to smoke since his wife wouldn't allow him to smoke inside the house.
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I was carefully watching him smoke from my window, trying my best to keep myself unnoticed, the last thing I wanted was for him to find out I liked to spy on him from my window. He looked so good with his broad, muscular build accentuated by the snug fit of his vintage-style shirt and tight brown pants. His huge, bulging arms flexed as he lit the cigar. I loved the way his tailored trousers hugged his thick thighs and firm ass.
You know a man is a real alpha when they act like one even when they don't know they're being watched.
His confident posture exuded a raw masculinity that made it impossible not to feel intimidated. Every detail, from the way he held the lighter to the casual way he took his first puff, made him look effortlessly commanding. I started wondering how hot it would be to watch him use those strong arms to jerk off, how it must feel to fuck him, to have him moaning like a slut... I was brought back to reality when I saw a small object hovering over Matt.
It was a UFO!
Was I really back to reality or was I still fantasizing? I asked myself in disbelief. Matt was too busy smoking to notice the small spaceship hovering over him. I thought about opening the window and warning him, but something stopped me; why should I? I asked myself and couldn't find any reason. So I decided to just see what happened next.
Suddenly a ray of light shot out from under the UFO and pierced straight into Matt’s head. He immediately froze and I saw something small inside the light traveling down from the ship to Matt's head, it was small and fast like a bullet. The light then vanished as quickly as it appeared and the small spaceship flew away, disappearing into the sky.
I had no idea what I had witnessed, but I knew it did something to Matt, because the cigar fell from his mouth, his muscular arms dropped limply to his side and his head dropped forward right after. He just stood there like he fell asleep while standing.
And was that smoke coming out of his head? I had so many questions.
Suddenly, Matt stirred awake, his head moved with a stiff, mechanical precision as he scanned his surroundings. Then, his eyes locked onto mine. Panic shot through me, and I ducked beneath the window.
Damn it, he saw me! I thought, my heart started pounding, I knew I was in danger. A few minutes later, I heard someone knocking on my door, actually, knocking was a kind word, he was practically pounding on it. When I opened it, Matt forced himself inside and closed the door behind him, he roughly pinned me against the wall with only one hand on my neck.
"So you were spying on me? What did you saw you fucker?" He asked with a calm, yet Intimidating voice. His grip tightened, and as he pressed me against the wall, I was able to see the top of Matt's head, there was a small fresh hole in it.
"I know you're not Matt anymore. I won't tell anyone! I promise!" I managed to say.
Matt's expression softened, and he loosened his grip, allowing me to fall to the floor. He stood over me, gazing down with a contemplative expression. "The protocol says I should exterminate you."
I gulped and looked at him with scared eyes. Waiting and hoping there was going to be a "but" soon.
"But I won't do that."
I sighed in relief. Matt then grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me back on my feet.
He suddenly dropped to his knees in front of me and started to unzip my pants. "I'm willing to buy your silence," the alien said in Matt's deep voice, "I've been studying Matt for the past month, and as I observed and learned everything about him, I also had to learn about everyone in Matt's life, and that includes you. I've been watching from afar how bad Matt treated you for the sole fact of you being a same-sex attracted human," he then took out my hard cock and started to stroke it. Feeling Matt's calloused manly hand wrapping around my shaft felt like heaven. "Since when I chose Matthew as my vessel, I had to learn his personality, his habits and behavior, I had to learn his homophobic beliefs... it just didn't feel right, I didn't want to replicate his bad behavior, but I was ordered by my superiors to mimic the vessel's every personality trait down to the core, so I would have to keep doing to you what Matthew always did. Today was finally the day of the takeover, to make him my vessel," he then looked up at me and chuckled, "But I didn’t expect you to be spying on Matt from your window, though I'm not surprised you did, it makes sense why a gay human like you would feel attracted to a body like this," He double flexed his biceps in a cocky manner, "This changes everything now. I know you want to feel Matthew's mouth wrapped around your cock, to see him submit to you. You can have all that right now, all you have to do is keep your mouth shut."
The sight of Matthew—my once-arrogant, homophobic neighbor—kneeling before me and stroking me, was surreal. He didn't give me time to answer, his strong hands grasped me firmly, and his lips parted as he leaned forward and took my cock into his mouth. The first touch of his warm, wet mouth made my legs tremble, and I had to steady myself against the wall.
But I don't know if it was because it was Matt's first time sucking cock, or the alien just had no idea of what he was doing, but the blowjob was far from enjoyable.
Matt took my cock out of his mouth and looked up at me. Noticing my face, he said, "Sorry, I don't know how to give a proper blowjob. I still haven't learned this human practice. I thought that with Matt as my vessel, there was no use learning about that."
"It's fine, you can just use Matt's tongue."
"I have an idea. Put the tip of your index finger in Matt's hole."
"Matt's hole? You mean his asshole?"
"No, I mean the entrance hole in his head," Matt said, pointing at it.
I looked apprehensive, but I did what I was told and inserted the tip of my finger in the head hole.
"Now think of blowjobs, like all the blowjobs you've ever done or watched."
I did what he told me and started to think of every blowjob that I'd done, as well as the ones I've watched. Matt's eyes immediately rolled back and his head moved, taking my cock back in his mouth. The tip of my finger was still inside the hole.
The alien now clearly knew what he was doing, guiding Matt’s head with expert precision. His tongue flicked and swirled, drawing shaky breaths from me as he worked like an expert. It was like I was controlling his tongue with my thoughts.
As he took me deeper, his once-mocking eyes now rolled back like he was feeling pleasure, but I knew that was not the real reason. I couldn’t suppress the groan that escaped me, my hands grabbed his shaved head, “Fuck... Matt, you're such a good cocksucker! You're doing exactly how It's in my head! Mmmhhfh... It's like I'm controlling you!”
Matt responded with a muffled hum, the vibrations of his deep voice sending a jolt of pleasure through my body. His hands gripped my ass firmly, keeping me steady as he worked me relentlessly, his mouth was so hot and eager. With my free hand, I grabbed the back of Matt's head and I started to face fuck him real hard, and as I reached my peak, I buried his face in my crotch and came down his throat. "Mmhh... ohh... y-yes... This is what... Unghh... you deserve you asshole!" I moaned.
My finger finally unplugged the hole, and his eyes went back to normal. Matt then pulled back slowly, his lips curled into a satisfied smile as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"What was that?" I asked breathlessly.
"I gave you momentary access to Matt's brain, I turned off his brain and connected his body to your brain instead. So, do we have a deal?"
"Your secret is safe with me, as long as you let me enjoy Matt's body."
Matt snickered, "Good, humans are so easy."
The next morning, I looked out of my window and saw Matt smoking on his porch like he always did. This time he was shirtless and wearing a cap to hide the hole in his head.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a47c024af5aa9396a48e5f166cc17e89/4454ec7376711ca2-de/s540x810/bd5ed467f3f6cb8a4df4d1189a059feae1201e78.jpg)
"Good morning, Matt," I said out loud. I wasn't afraid of him seeing me anymore.
Matt looked at my direction and exhaled a puff of smoke. Gosh, the alien really did a good job at impersonating Matt's cocky mannerisms. With the cigar still in his mouth, Matt unzipped his pants and took out his huge, long cock. As he held the cigar with his left hand, he stroked his shaft with the other.
I was also jerking off behind the window, watching my hot muscular straight neighbor jerking off his massive cock all for me to enjoy.
-------------------------------------
Matt is still fucking himself on my cock, having just sent the report to his superiors, he was now completely focused on the task at hand, or better, on the ass, “Get on all fours on the bed,” I finally tell him.
He obeys immediately, standing up and getting on all fours on the bed like he’s done this a hundred times before. His ass is right there, big, muscular, and begging for attention under those tight yellow shorts. He then tilts his head back, exposing the hole in his head.
“Please, I need you to use me like your slut, sir! Plug my headhole with your finger, and my asshole with your cock!"
I almost laugh at how far this guy has fallen. Who am I to say no? I climb up behind him, sliding my hands over his thick hips, those shorts barely containing his ass. One tug, and they’re gone. I insert myself back inside him, making Matt moan in pleasure. He starts moving his ass back and forth, but I stop him with a hard slap, making him whimper. "Stop moving, that's not how I like It!" I grunt.
"Sorry, sir!"
With a wide grin, I insert the tip of my finger in his head hole, when I'm sure we're connected, I start to think of all the gay bottoms that I've watched before, how they acted and performed in those videos. For a long time I've watched those videos fantasizing about Matt being in their place, and now I have the opportunity to live my fantasies.
Matt's eyes roll back as images of gay men being fucked like sluts invade his mind. Moments later, Matt is fucking himself with passion, mimicking my horny thoughts.
"Moan for me, Matt!" I say, thrusting into him harder. He moans so loudly that I almost worry about the neighbors, but then I remember—my only homophobic neighbor is now nothing more than an alien-controlled puppet. There's nothing to worry about.
I sent a thought for him to release as soon as I came inside him. I couldn't ask for a better neighbor.
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