#trying to reason through that response in a way that makes sense with lore

[ghost-bxrd]

Been mulling over Titans Tower and it's really interesting to me how it's treated in Fanon as compared to how the events transpired in canon. it's a really fun topic! Honestly, the original writing in canon is DOGSHITE but not for the usual reasons people cite.

Here's what does make sense in canon but is largely ignored (this is using canon characterisations at the time): First, it's all about the whole Titans team, not just Tim. They really downplay his death a lot, did not put up his statue or honour him whatsoever. Plus the hero community tends to victim-blame him a fuckton. Jason is showing that his death could've happened to anyone. Second, Tim and Jason are just two yearish apart—Jay died at 15, Tim becomes Robin at 13—so those Titans are more like his colleagues than anything else; he's not some older guy beating the shit outta them. Third, Tim’s indifference to Jason's comments and his cockiness about being a better Robin are pretty on-brand for his early portrayal as Robin. (I think fanon Tim derives a lot of his characteristics from his Red Robin run, which is valid as well! But here in particular we have Robin Tim... who... was... uh... a bit of an asshole when he was written back then and the HUBRIS on that man? Immaculate.)

What still makes this absolutely dog shit is the dialogue and how Jason is pouring his heart out to someone who he doesn't really care about. Jason... just doesn't operate this way... Why's he trauma dumping on... tim... ???? It makes no sense whatsoever because Jason really is someone who'd keep those vulnerabilities to himself. Why would he open up to... CANON TIM??? He makes scathing remarks when faced with Bruce and Dick because he knows the knife twists then and at he cares about their reaction. But not tim ????? Canon UTRH doesn't even mention Tim ????? ???? So in the end it's still shit imo.

I also find the use of Pit Madness in fanon super interesting, despite it not being canon. It's used to propel the Titan's Tower incident, which fascinates me because it shows how people are willing to work around its flaws to maintain consistent characterization in their works (which is !!! cool !!)

It's so interesting how many other incidents that do occur in canon aren't as well known as this one aren't given much thought. But this one is and it's interesting how people try to work with it regardless of it's flaws originally!

I'd really love to hear your opinions about it and how flexible you are with the Titans tower incident! :) How do you work with your Jason and your Tim? because it's cool to hear your analysis etc etc

Hooo boi okay i was planning on replying to this earlier but this deserves a proper, thought out response (which I’m shite at but I’m trying here. Words are hard.)

For one, I wholeheartedly agree with the whole trauma dumping thing.

Obviously we all have different tastes in media and I know there are quite a few people who enjoyed the confrontation with Tim, which is totally fine, but personally… yeah, not my thing.

I got into the Batman/batfam fandom via fanfic, so my first introduction was some version of Titans Tower I believe. I was super intrigued by the characters and the tidbits of lore sprinkled throughout that I immediately began reading up on them and digging through the internet for more info and background story on them. Which then quickly evolved into the part where my adoration for Jason’s character began and a short phase where I absolutely despised early canon Tim.

Like— all the victim blaming. He seriously couldn’t mention Jason without adding something derogatory about getting himself killed, which sat so, so wrong with me. Not to mention the Titans just accepting a new Robin right off the bat and joining in blaming Jason for his own death. I’m pretty sure that was the point where I swore off comics for a long while and decided to live off fanon 🤣

And then Jason’s part in the Titans Tower incident. I think part of how weird the canon event was is due in part to how the writers fumbled to depict trauma? Or maybe they just outright hated him because I know a lot of people back then despised Jason and his run as Robin.

Whatever the reason, I think I genuinely cringed when he revealed the Walmart Robin costume he was wearing. And then the trauma dumping.

Jason is smart enough to know Tim wouldn’t care about his grievances. I mean- dude just broke into his hideout to attack him, I think Tim’s about as done with Jason as with any other criminals, regardless of his past. And all that is proven by Tim fighting back tooth and nail without pause. He doesn’t even react to the accusation of the missing statue in Jason’s honor. Like, he genuinely doesn’t seem to care. And why would he? They don’t know each other.

And yeah maybe he was trying to beat some sense into Tim (which is still wrong but— vigilantes I guess? Idk) and make him quit Robin, but Jason’s also smart enough to know that Robins don’t quit easily. And then, as soon as Tim is down for the count and can’t keep fighting, Jason leaves. Just like that. No actual murder attempt, no kicking-while-he’s-down (at least as far as I remember).

It makes no sense. What would Jason be gaining from that encounter? Why would he blame the kid that replaced him and not the guy that did the replacing? Hell, it would make more sense for him to go after the Titans than Tim. Not the mention him casually doubting Tim’s talents when he must have done some background checks on him.

It’s why I like the idea of Pit Madness I guess, and that Jason actually went to the tower with the intent to kill. Because that way the entire thing wouldn’t seem so… pointless.

As for how flexible I am with the Titans Tower storyline, it really depends on the route people choose to explore. But I’m a huge sucker for the “Jason was Tim’s Robin” trope where there’s at least a mild amount of hero worship going on. 👁️ Oh, and happy endings. I can’t deal with tragedies.

But yeah these are my thoughts on it. Obviously no hate to whoever enjoyed the comic mentioned above 💚 we’ve all got different things we resonate with after all~

[delulu4dean]

“Withdrawals”

Warnings: suicide, depression, anxiety

Pairings: Dean Winchester x sister!reader, Sam Winchester x sister!reader

Prompt: withdrawal from Cymbalta. Based on my own experience

Word Count: 3,624

You are all packed up to go with your older brothers. They were going all the way to the Redwood Forest, and you didn’t want to be in the bunker all alone.

You aren’t a hunter like them, not yet at least. You’ve studied the lore, and you’ve trained a bit, because after all, you are a Winchester. And the name alone is like wearing a giant “kick me” sign if it said “kill me” instead. No, you’re a student, getting your associates online in the exploratory major because you have no idea what you would want to do other than hunt with your brothers.

Sam and Dean promised John they’ll never let you into the life. Your mom died shortly after you were born. Your dad met your mom on a hunt nineteen years ago. She was a nurse in a hospital. There was one patient who was wrongfully treated, and died due to medical negligence. And boy does a vengeful spirit do a lot of damage. John saved your mom’s life, and they celebrated that night. She got pregnant, and she kept John’s number so nine months later, he picks up the phone to find out he’s got a daughter. Dean overheard the conversation and when John said he wouldn’t go, Dean said he has to. It resulted in a huge argument. John eventually gave in, and they went to the hospital to see you, and Dean knew right there and then he’d do anything to protect his little sister.

Your mom killed herself after she brought you home. Family history of mental illness was bad enough, but the postpartum depression pushed her over the edge.

It was not easy showing up at Stanford trying to explain to Sam that he had a baby sister, and that also your dad was missing. It was especially not easy looking for your dad while they had to take care of a baby. Dean often got babysitters to watch you in the motels they stayed in.

And now here you are, nineteen years old, aimlessly walking through life. You’re getting an associates in nothing specific just to get some general education done. And that history of mental illness in your family is hitting you hard. You’re on antidepressants, a specific one that treats your depression and anxiety.

Dean parks at the motel, and goes to get keys for a room. You don’t mind sleeping on the couch, out of the three of you it only makes sense, you got tall and taller with you, and it just doesn’t seem fair to make them sleep on the couch when you fit so well on it.

Sam and Dean throw on their FBI getup and go start asking questions while you connect your laptop to the motel wifi. Yay statistics, said no one ever. You’re only doing this to make your brothers happy, you don’t see a reason to get a degree. They say it’s useful to get some sort of decent job, or to one day get a further education when you decide what you want to do. But you already know what you want to do, you want to hunt with them.

You don’t know how you ended up on the couch. One moment you were doing homework and… yeah, that’s enough to make you snooze. You look at the time and it’s 8am the next day. You look into your bag and your eyes wide as you realize you left your antidepressants in the bunker.

“Shit!”

Your sudden outburst awakens your brothers as they both shoot up to see what’s wrong with you.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam asks as they both run to your side.

“I forgot my meds at home,” you pout.

“Your meds?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“My antidepressants,” you clarify.

Dean makes an “O” shape with his mouth in response.

“Have you ever missed a day before?” Sam asks you.

“No, and this is going to be longer than a day. How am I going to manage without it?”

“Managing your existing problems is the least of your worries kiddo. You’re going to go through withdrawals,” Dean takes a seat next to you. “One of us can stay with you.”

“I’ll be fine, let’s get breakfast, you guys do your research and then I get back and work on more homework, I’ll keep myself occupied,” you assure your brother. They give each other a worried look, not feeling too sure, but you insist you’ll be fine.

The three of you head to a diner, and you check out the menu while Dean checks out the waitress.

“Perv,” you mumble under your breath.

“Good morning, what can I get for you?”

Dean orders the greasiest breakfast on the menu, with bacon of course. Sam orders some omelette made with just egg whites.

“And for you, hun?” the waitress looks at you with a smile.

“I’d like a plate of eggs, over easy, and sausages. And an order of chocolate chip pancakes with extra whipped cream if that’s possible. And a cup of coffee if that isn’t too much trouble,” you order.

“Coming right up!”

After a couple of minutes the coffee is ready and she serves you and your brothers your coffee. You add a couple of vanilla creamers. You take your first sip, and immediately regret not blowing on it first. The hot liquid burns your tongue. You set your cup down as your stomach growls, begging to be fed.

On a normal day, you could be patient, wait for your food. But today isn’t a normal day, and even though it’s probably a five minute wait, ten at most, you need the food now. Your leg bounces up and down, as your fingers tap on the table.

“Hey kid, are you alright?” Dean asks you.

“Mmhm. Just hungry.”

“The food will be out any minute,” Sam assures you. You nod but it doesn’t make the time pass by any quicker for you.

You watch as the waitress walks over to your table with your food and you sit up. The moment she places your place in front of you, you dig in. Your brothers watch as you focus on your meal. They’ve never seen you eat like this. Normally you try to stay neat and clean while you eat. You talk to them. But right now, your brothers know better than to comment on you eating.

It’s not Dean doesn’t go crazy about food either. It’s just out of the ordinary for you, and you’re off your meds for the next few days, so they’re worried. Eventually they start getting to their research.

After breakfast, your brothers drop you off at the motel, and get on with the case. You open your laptop, log into your student portal, and look at your assignments. This is going to be a long day.

✰✰✰✰✰

You’re sat on the chair in front of your laptop, as you have been all day. It’s been hard to concentrate, you kept checking your phone, playing games. Every time your brothers texted to check in on you, you used it as an excuse to be on your phone again. And then when you finally started concentrating, you didn’t understand it.

You’re sat on your chair, tears streaming down your face. Hugging your knees, you just stare at the screen as the numbers blur together. Math was frustrating. It’s not like you’re bad at it, you’re actually great at it. But your mind is cloudy, and even reading over everything again and again, you’re not processing anything.

You barely made it through your other assignments, and this is all you have left for the day. You’ve been going at it since breakfast, you even skipped lunch to make up for the distractions.

The motel door clicks and creaks open, and footsteps enter the room. You don’t look up from your screen, you just hope they don’t notice your damp face.

“We got dinner,” Dean says, placing the bag on the table in front of you.

“ ‘M-not hungry,” you mumble.

“What do you mean you’re not hungry, what did you have for lunch?” Dean sits at the table, and Sam joins.

You still don’t look up as your brothers take out their food from the take out bag. Dean places your food in front of you as you push it away.

“I’ve been doing homework all day, no time to eat,” you attempt to speak but it all came out in a raspy whisper.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sam scoots closed to you, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I’m stupid, that’s what’s wrong,” you break down into sobs. “I can’t do simple math equations.”

“You’re great at math,” Dean tries to assure you, but it doesn’t help.

“But I can’t do it today.”

“Hey, hey. You're off your meds. You’re not stupid, you're just not in the right state right now,” Sam tells you, and you nod. “Eat up, and after dinner, I’ll help you with your math, and anything else you need help with.”

Your sobs become small whimpers until you stop crying altogether. You sniffle before grabbing the dinner your brothers got for your. Sam sits next to you and reads over your math homework and explains things. Just reading it didn’t process, but hearing it out loud, from your brother, that helped process what you were actually looking at. Not long after, you finish your homework.

“Thank you, Sammy,” you hug your brother, tightly, and he hugs you back.

“Of course, (Y/N/N),” he keeps you close.

✰✰✰✰✰

You toss and turn, unable to sleep. You’re really starting to miss your antidepressants. Huffing, you get up from the couch, throw on your slip on vans, and take one of the motel key cards. Maybe a walk with some therapeutic music will help you feel better. It really sucks how just after 24 hours, the withdrawal kicks in. You throw in your earbuds and start walking around the block.

Your skin feels all tingly and a burning sensation travels up your leg but you ignore your body screaming. Maybe the walk is what you need. You've been sitting all day, no wonder you can’t sleep.

You put your hands in your pocket as you sing along to the next song under your breath.

“Running low, on serotonin. Chemical imbalance got me twisting things. Stabilize with medicine, there’s no depth to these feelings. Dig deep, can’t hide from the corners of my mind. I’m terrified of what’s inside.”

You take in a deep breath, letting the cool air fill your lungs.

“Please don’t let me go crazy. Put me if a field with daisies, might not work but I’ll take a maybe.”

As the song ends, you reach the motel door, but before you can use your key card, the door opens. You look up to see Dean frantically walking out until he sees you.

“Y/N! Where were you?” He whisper-shouts.

“I just went on a walk,” you explain. “I couldn’t sleep. Thought it would tire me out.”

“How are you feeling?” he asks you, putting his hand on your back, bringing you inside.

“Honestly my legs hurt, my skin feels all tingly, and my head is starting to hurt.”

“Come on, you’re sleeping in my bed tonight. We can tell each other ghost stories until we fall asleep.”

You smile softly, remembering that’s what Dean would do to get you to bed growing up. You lay down underneath the cover and look at the ceiling.

“Instead of a ghost story, you can catch me up on what you and Sammy have figured out about the case,” you suggest.

And so Dean goes into detail about his day, and how he things by tomorrow night things should be done. Dean is thinking it’s a siren, since these victims were last seen talking about seeing a pretty woman.

“But what were the victims doing before they got killed?” you pose a question.

“One was smoking, another littered, the third being really disruptive,” your eldest brother answers you.

“Hm. Could be a dryad,” you tell Dean.

“A what?”

“A dryad, forest nymph, not a fairy or a goddess but sort of in between. Magical, gorgeous women. There are different nymphs, like water nymphs for example.”

“How do you kill a nymph?” Dean asks you.

“She’s just protecting the forest,” you pout.

“She’s killing people.”

“Talk to her.”

“How do you kill her?” Dean presses.

“You don’t,” you finally give in. “Not without killing nature. Do you want to burn down a tree, Dean?”

“… no.”

“Thought so.”

“Then what do I do?”

“Technically if you can find the one tree she’s attached to, you can kill her. But you shouldn’t.”

“I’ll try talking to her, for you.”

“Thanks Dean.”

✰✰✰✰✰

The next morning you and Dean are both awaken by Sam, who brings you breakfast burritos.

“Good morning,” he says.

“Mmm morning,” you yawn.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Sam asks.

“No, I just couldn’t sleep. So Dean caught me up on your case.”

Sam nods. After breakfast and some research, Sam and Dean get what they need to summon her.

“Since it’s not that dangerous, maybe I can come along,” you offer.

“Homework for the week all done?” Sam asks.

You nod.

“Legs feeling better?” Dean asks.

You nod again.

“You’re lying,” he squints his eyes at you.

“How would you know?”

“The second nod was slower and less confident.”

You groan.

“If you need one of us to stay with you, we can arrange that. If what you said is true, it will be easy enough for just one of us,” Sam suggests.

“I’m fine,” you lie. You’re not fine. Your body is aching, and the anxiety and depression are starting to really sink in.

“Sam, you’re better at talking things out than I am. I’ll drop you off, then head back here. You can call me if you need backup,” Dean says.

“Sounds like a plan,” Sam nods.

The two of them leave the room and you sigh, laying down. You can’t just stay sitting in this room the whole time. You’re at a bear themed motel close to the redwood forest. You need to experience the nature. You’re feeling trapped and panicked. Your breathing accelerates and you sit up. Pacing back and forth for the next forty minutes, you wait for Dean to get back.

The door opens and he walks in with a bag in hand.

“You’re five minutes late!” you yell at him.

“I just stopped to get some pie,” he sets down the bag. “I got you powdered donuts.”

You nod.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m just feeling really trapped in here. Think we can go for a walk, or a drive at least?”

“A drive sounds good,” Dean nods. “But eat the donuts before. No powder on Baby.” He points a finger at you.

“Yes sir,” you grab your donuts and eat, while dean digs into his pie.

After dessert, you two get into Baby. You look out the window as he pulls out of the motel parking lot.

“You want to play some music?” Dean asks you.

“What happened to driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole?”

“This is a one time opportunity, Y/N. You don’t wanna miss it,” he nudges you.

You use a cassette adapter to connect your phone. You continue the playlist you were playing last night.

“You wanna listen to sad music?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

“I am sad. I don’t have my happy pills,” you mumble.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Honestly? I just want to cry. For absolutely no reason. Well there is a reason, withdrawals.”

Tears well up, and you take a shaky sigh.

“I’m sorry kid. I’ll make sure we get home as soon as possible.”

You just nod. The medication doesn’t stop the bad thoughts from happening, but they stop them from hurting as much. The problem was the medication isn’t as effective anymore either. You’ve built a tolerance, so right now the only difference is instead of mild depression, you want to kill yourself. You hate how you look, I mean both of your brothers are considered attractive and you feel like you look… dorky. School is stressful especially when you’re working towards a degree you don’t want.

And then you think of your brothers, who swooped in to take care of you. John wasn’t a terrible father to you, but you know he was too tough on Sam and Dean especially when it came to you. And then when John died, Dean became basically like your dad. He already raised Sam during his youth and then he had to take care of you. You couldn’t help but think that Sam and Dean would have it so much easier without you.

You try to hide your cries, looking out the window, letting tears stream down your face.

“Y/N/N? Talk to me,” Dean coaxes you. “What are you thinking about.”

Your silent cries become wails and sobs. And the crying triggers a headache and you feel nauseous and everything is just awful.

“Dean, why do you keep me around?” You take a deep breath trying to calm yourself but it doesn’t work. “I’m a burden. You don’t need to be taking care of me, especially when I’m an adult. I’m just dragging you down,” you cry out. “If I were dead, or never born, you’d be so much happier!”

“Woah woah!” Dean pulls over, then looks over at you. “I would not be happier without you. We don’t keep you around to take care of you. You’re grown, independent. We love you. And we’re happy you like being around us too. You’re our family.”

You look up at him, and you can almost see his heart breaks as he looks at your face. He wipes your tears and pulls you in for a hug.

“Are you thinking of hurting yourself? Are the suicidal thoughts back?”

You nod, crying into the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry.”

“Shh. You have nothing to be sorry about, baby, these thoughts aren’t your fault.”

You feel something going on in your throat, and you pull away quickly, opening the door, emptying the contents from your stomach. Dean quickly gets out from the drivers side and runs over to you.

“Ew,” you cry. “God that’s gross. I’m sorry.”

Your shoulders continue to shake as you resume crying. Your older brother crouches down (avoiding where you threw up) and pushes your hair back behind your ears.

“You don’t need to say sorry.”

“I might have gotten some on Baby,” you say, looking around to make sure.

“I can clean it. It’s just a car. You’re my baby sister.”

You sniffle as a smile creeps on your face.

“You do really love me. You’d never say she’s just a car unless it was that serious.”

“Of course it’s that serious. You’re having withdrawals. Now lets get something in that tummy,” he pokes your stomach. “Something light and comforting. You can wash up in the bathroom. And then we can get Sam and get you home.”

You nod and the drive resumes. You head back to the diner you had breakfast at yesterday. For lunch you get a grilled cheese and tomato soup. Dean gets a burger, obviously. As you wait for the food, you head into the bathroom and wash up.

After lunch, Sam gives Dean a call, saying it’s all over, and to also check up on you. You guys go on your way to pick up Sam. Dean hands the key over to Sam and Sam looks at Dean confused.

“Long drive from California to Kansas. Don’t want to leave her alone. After dinner we can switch off and you can sit in the back if you want,” Dean explains.

“It’s fine, it looks like you got control of the situation.” Sam looks over to you. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling like absolute shit. But better than before.”

“When we get home, you take your meds, get your sleep, then we can do a movie night,” Sam suggests.

“That sounds great Sammy,” you smile. You kiss his cheek before going into the back seat with Dean.

“Thanks for being here for me Dean,” you say, kissing his cheek as well.

“Of course. I’ve been here since day one,” he ruffles your hair.

✰✰✰✰✰

The next 21 hours end up being hell. Dean said the wrong thing while trying to comfort you, sending you spiraling. That’s when Sam sat in the back while Dean sat up front beating himself up over it as he drives the rest of the way home. You apologized for being a difficult kid and Dean didn’t deny you were difficult, he just said easy is boring.

Now Dean pulls into the bunker garage, and you run to your room to get your medicine and take it. Dean follows you, wanting to apologize.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. You aren’t a difficult kid. You were a great kid. Fun, and a great listener.”

“It’s okay Dean, I’m over it. Really.”

He nods.

“Can you stay with me until I sleep though? You and Sam? I want to hear about the dryad!”

“Sure thing. Sammy!”

Sam runs up to you guys.

“She wants you to tell us about the dryad.”

“Was she pretty?” you ask.

“Yes, she was very pretty.”

You lay in bed as your brothers sit on each side of you. Sam talks about how your plan to talk to her actually worked, and how the conversation went down. You smile as you listen. Your eyelids get heavy and soon you’re out.

[thefinalwitness]

in general if your response to a certain type of character, especially any form of minority, is literally any variation whatsoever of "that doesn't exist/wouldn't be allowed in this setting" you're being a bigoted piece of shit. just to be super clear. and because my adderall is in full effect rn i will even do you the favor of going over some reasons why your reasoning is not only flawed and inaccurate to begin with, but extremely harmful to entire groups of people you claim to care about.

"that doesn't exist" first of all, who fucking cares if a piece of media has never depicted a lesbian or a nonbinary person or a black person in xyz region/world? just because the creators didn't do it doesn't make it Canonical Law. also, regardless of how fantastical and fictional a setting is, its audience will ALWAYS be from planet earth where lesbians and nonbinary people and black people exist, and those people's feelings and their deservingness to see and put themselves in their favorite stories IS, in fact, more important than some white-ass cishet make believe world.

"it wouldn't be allowed" subtler issue, but an issue nonetheless. just because the setting is hostile TO certain groups of people does not mean those people do not exist there. ask yourself, what is so important to you about certain kinds of people either not existing period, or having to be miserable (closet themselves, conceal certain features, etc), in a given setting. why is that so important to you. why do you think these people can only exist if they hate themselves and/or live their lives suffocated by the world around them. why is it so "lore incompliant" or "immersion breaking" to you. why are you so concerned with upholding real or perceived prejudices in a fictional society if you claim to care about the real people who these prejudices affect. "realism"? see point one.

NONE of the reasons you make up to justify your reinforcement of real world bigotry in a pretend world are even reasons that would ACTUALLY bar xyz group of people from existing in said world. ishgard only shut its gates to the rest of the world for 15 years before ARR. old sharlayan accepted people from tural into its closed society. the ancients could literally conjure up whatever the fuck they wanted inside and outside their bodies. fantasias are a canonical item in the game, as per the quest that literally talks about them and then gives you one. there are HUNDREDS of perfectly lore compliant ways any given type of person could be in any given setting. but more importantly, people shouldn't need to justify why things like sexuality or skin color CAN exist in a given setting, because if you're not harboring some very bigoted ideas about how minorities are allowed to or "supposed" to exist, you don't fucking care about shit like this. it's stupid, inaccurate, and most of all, just plain cruel to the very real people behind these characters.

racism, transphobia, etc already exist in staggering abundance in the real world; you do not need to enforce that cruelty in a random fucking video game unless you have some very fucked up feelings about those groups of people festering in your brain. if you're not a member of those groups, shame on you, do better to support your fellow human beings. if you ARE a member of those groups, i am so fucking sorry the world has rotted your sense of self so deeply as to make you believe you can only exist in misery. i really, sincerely hope you're able to work through that and know that your existence is an inherently joyful, beautiful thing, and people like you deserve to get to exist peacefully, everywhere in the real world and in any and all fictional settings. i know finding worth in ourselves is too often an extremely difficult process, so i ask instead that you start with others like you. be kind to them, support them, find things about them that you admire, and try to see yourself in them. you deserve to get to heal from the insidious, evil things this world has poisoned your heart with.

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Hello Rosie

I’ve realized that I spent a long time belaboring the accomplishments of other writers, but I don’t think I ever touched on Ariel Ladensohn. Responsible for the episodes Scrambled Eggs and Hello Rosie, she is credited for shows like Solar Opposites and Futurama, however she has only written a single episode for the Futurama reboot that I can find whereas she is a producer for the show otherwise. Meanwhile, she has minor, single episode writing credits for series like My Little Pony Friendship is magic in 2019 (A Horse Shoe-in), and Clifford the Big Red Dog. In fact, the most credit to her name is under Justin Roiland’s Solar Opposites where she started as a consistent script writer and eventually entered middle management as a story editor. She has a family history within show business through her mother Cybill Sheperd, a well-known celebrity and model of the previous generations. Based on Scrambled Eggs, I will say that episode feels like Justin Roiland fare, and I don’t expect much different from this episode.

Even the series seems self aware at times with Angel Dust proclaiming all of Charlie’s ideas thus so far being failures and Husk even pointing out that the more Charlie tries to do, the worse it gets for everyone else. Charlie lives in this place of protection because of Lucifer, supposedly. This idea that Lucifer is trying to protect her and it’s why she is never in danger during the exterminations isn’t one I’ve actually seen confirmed in the show in any way. It’s alluded to, but with how much of the show is unspoken and outright fabricated with deceit being framed in the last episode as “It’s a lie because otherwise nothing makes sense” when the world building as a whole doesn’t make any sense, I don’t trust the show. I don’t trust the show or writers to know what they are talking about and reluctant to give them any grace in that way. Seven episodes into an 8 episode series and all you’ve accomplished is confusing me. Has Charlie ever even been helpful? We still don’t know what progress is supposed to look like. And we are supposed to think Angel Dust in episode 4 sees Charlie as a friend he can protect while she’s still the Princess of Hell for one and, two, here we see him lamenting her meddling entirely. No one has faith in her but Vaggie, and even then, having faith in Charlie is her entire personality.

Side point, but Vaggie adding”In our room” didn’t sound or feel like she was sad. Rather, we just added that line for some reason? Am I supposed to get the vibe that Charlie and her are broken up in some way from the angel reveal? Or is this the dialogue stating out loud that it is their shared room and that they are in fact a couple because otherwise there is massive room for doubt due to how sanitized the lesbian relationship is in this series. I don’t know, I can’t tell, both can be true because there is so much and yet nothing at all in this series on every level.

If only the show actually showed that the Egg Bois were unreliable narrators at some point. Instead the few times we see them it is that they have difficulty following orders. Not that they actually are unreliable in everything.

So going back to this massive plot point of Angels only being harmed by Angelic weapons, like I said last post, this huge reveal fails to land or build any interest for numerous reasons. For one, Carmilla’s whole business is arms dealing with angelic weapons that Angels just leave behind. Like, a cornerstone of the lore of Hazbin is that angelic weapons are just dumped like litter into Hell every extermination, so one would think that if angelic weapons are the only thing capable or harming angels, Sera would have had a very tight rule about making sure all these weapons are returned to Heaven for their own safety. Even if you want to make the argument Adam and Lute don’t know this, Sera definitely would. And her entire hope for keeping Heaven safe is entirely negated because Adam’s goons are just supplying Hell with the only weapons that can kill angels every year. Second, as stated previously, Vaggie was injured by angelic weapons when Lute attacked her and carved out her eye. It makes no sense that she wouldn’t know the power of angelic weapons. Point three, Vaggie’s wings were torn off by Lute’s bare hands. I’m reminded of Dan Olsen’s video essay The Art of Editing and Suicide Squad where he talks about the use of the Unicorn plushy in the film and the way a narrative must reinforce an idea for these sort of plot points to be effective.

“Then, in the tower brawl, Captain Boomerang is wrestling with a tar monster who stabs him right in the heart. And for a second you go ‘oh no!’- but, Being a savvy and attentive viewer, you immediately go ‘ah wait, the unicorn!’ And you pat yourself in the back as Boomerang pulls out the knife stuck in a wad of money.”

This feels like the Suicide Squad Unicorn situation. There is so much going on and no one in the room was able to catch these contradictions in the production. By the narrative denaturing on such a foundational world building level, the weight of every reveal and plot point is about the equivalent of a paper ball. It fails to ground the world, abide by its own rules, and thus never succeeds as a show. It is a concept that never pounded out the impurities and results in a confusing waste of time.

Wait, did Charlie forget about Cannibalism Town? Episode one she made a point to declare it in the song and how everyone was bright and smiling. So it shows an understanding of what foreshadowing is as a concept, but because no one else remembers or knows anything about Cannibal Town, Ariel was forced to reintroduce the setting in such a way that feels like bad writing. My point is, Ariel is doing the best she can here, the issue lies with Medrano and how she drew attention to Cannibal Town when it wasn’t relevant but never reinforced the plot point. Again, the unicorn plush situation pops up. Because she failed to incorporate Cannibal Town throughout the series, we needed this whiplash redo of the setting to actually immerse the audience in a way that makes narrative sense. Ariel is doing the best she can and it should be noted that this was the best way to rush this plot point because Medrano did nothing she needed to do up to this moment. Cannibal Town needed to be explored a little every episode and incorporated in all of the plots for this to work. By just announcing it in the first episode to try and hint this was going to be important, and then go another 2 and a half hours of content with no reminders at all, Ariel’s only hope was making this a plot hole to try and smooth over the train wreck this whole aspect of the show turned into.

In fact, I just remembered Ariel did Scrambled Eggs, which would have been perfect to set up the reminder of Cannibal Town and its importance by focusing on Rosie. Instead, the episode focused on Zestial and having him and Alastor catch up when it very obviously should have been Rosie for this specific purpose. Was Kritzer more expensive than James? Why focus on this character so long when all he serves is as a vessel to Carmella confessing her involvement in the killing when Rosie is far more important a player? I’m not saying they should have cut him out entirely, but that time would have been better suited with giving Rosie more to do.

My nitpick of the episode is that Rosie’s voice and character bothers me and rips me out of any level of immersion I could have. The accent is noticeably fake to the point it is distracting and the dialogue and pacing is so paint by numbers Jewish mother stereotype that is actually feels too slow. If this makes sense, she isn’t delivering the lines fast enough for it not to feel like a blatant caricature. It’s a stereotype that feels like a stereotype because it hits just off the mark ever so slightly that it draws all the more attention to it. For a show with breakneck pacing, these scenes drag and it is due to the delivery entirely. And before someone does attempt to argue the actress, Leslie Kritzer, is in fact Jewish, yes, she is half Jewish on her father’s side with a Puerto Rican mother. Kritzer was raised Catholic and was not privy to the Jewish Mother character growing up, despite being ethnically half Jewish. That does matter.

The terrifying thing is how the whole negotiation scene with Rosie is so rushed. She says she likes Charlie’s moxie when all Charlie has done is have the prelude of a mental breakdown in front of her. She made it clear how everything is her fault, how everyone she cares for is in danger and pretty much doomed. The literal definition of Moxie is “Force of character or determination” when all Rosie has seen is Charlie actively caving under the weight of everything. That is, in fact, the opposite of moxie. Sure, we have seen her stand up to Sera and stand up for her beliefs, but Rosie has not. This is a common issue in Medrano’s writing where she fails to know which characters know what. They are ignorant when it is convenient and just as equally omnipotent when required. And, like I said, they also feel too slow. The delivery is just too slow and the scenes are too fast, too much happens when it makes no sense and everything just feels like a waste of time.

I just realized why this scene feels like such a waste of time: it lacks tension. The sequence where Rosie walks up to Alastor is such a wide shot, her asking about his plan bears no weight. This is genuinely some of the worst scene composition. This is an expensive shot with Charlie, Rosie and Alastor as well as the need to use filler background characters in the corner to make the space feel lived-in. But this whole issue would have been resolved by utilizing he exact scene direction that follows. Have Rosie close the distance between her and Alastor and have it cut to a 1/3rd body shot of the two. Have Charlie cut from the scene as neither are even acknowledging her in this moment and it shows how Alastor and Rosie see her as a child, ignoring her despite being the princess of Hell. Have Rosie’s approach be an over-shoulder closeup from Alastor’s side, and instead of cutting off Rosie’s face, have the characters get closer together as the camera zooms in. Make the connection between Alastor and Rosie stronger so her words feel slightly ominous when she says “Alastor has never done me wrong before”. Where you wonder if you can trust Rosie, or if maybe Rosie doesn’t really trust Alastor and is giving a subtle warning. The utter lack of nonverbal storytelling sucks all depth and nuance out of the episode.

Carmella is a top tier character in a woefully subpar story. She is everything its clear Medrano’s wishes Alastor was. She is intimidating and intelligent. It tips a bit too far into ludicrous levels of knowledge that, if thought about, feels like it is the writer cheating. And it is. This absolutely is cheating, because the characters who should know Vaggie is an angel, for example, don’t. Alastor, Charlie, and Lucifer are either totally ignorant of Vaggie being an angel or are playing stupid. The reason Carmella has made is that it benefits her to not draw attention to herself, but Alastor should be able to make the same level of inference on Vaggie and doesn’t. To say he does but says nothing makes no sense because he could have been playing puppet master this whole time by using Vaggie’s angel status to control her and/or Charlie in any number of ways. And if anyone would know about Vaggie, it should be Lucifer. And Lucifer should be distrusting of Vaggie at the least. So Carmella is a cool character, but if we really think about it, it’s obvious that she’s just OP to serve a purpose in the plot.

I love Carmella’s long hair design, but the hair just is down in a microsecond of a scene. It was a change in a single frame that went by faster than a blink. It needed to have more emphasis for the reason to be understood: Vaggie is making excuses. It doesn’t translate clearly that Carmella is trying to pull the “equal footing” trope because there was no weight to her letting her hair down. It needed to at least be given a second to focus, not even a verbal acknowledgment, but just have Carmella let down her hair and make eye contact for a second before beating Vaggie up further.

I feel the need to have a small personal rant here, I have ballroom experience, I am also a Latino. The scene and song were ideally set to have a partner-based dance influence. I mainly dance waltz, but I feel a tango was ideal for this sort of song. The beat is too slow for a salsa. There are many different types of Latin dances to choose from (cha cha, salsa, tango, samba). The lack of appropriate Latin influences for a Latina coded character who is also heavily inspired by dancers, and yet none of the proper dance influences were taken advantage of. This entire character concept was fumbled hard. On top of it all, by not selecting a coherent dance style, the fight-dance choreography doesn’t make use of each person’s different strengths. Carmella uses her legs as her weapons while Vaggie has her spear in her arms. So Vaggie mirroring Carmella does nothing to improve her understanding of combat.

Steven Universe focused its use of music to individual instruments. Garnet was a synth bass instrument which heavily influenced her entire character design. Synth Basses are the backbone for many contemporary music genres, especially hip-hop. And Garnet’s character design from being black-coded to her dance style being Waacking, a form of street dance associated with the gay disco clubs of 1970s LA, specifically credited to black choreographer Tyrone Proctor. This is how you utilize ethnic coding in an animated musical. Instead, Carmella is Latina-coded with a Spanish guitar as her musical motif, with very specific native latin American motifs to her movements like maracas and a jaguar with a ballet style dance. This is a cacophony of influence with no understanding of any of them being forced together in a Frankenstein amalgamation of disappointment. Especially the minor use of maracas in Carmella’s character as they are very unique and important to Mexican and Latin culture.

Charlie’s feelings about Vaggie comes off extremely selfish. Vaggie was an exorcist which is hinted at to be a human soul, which means her neglecting to tell Charlie she was an exorcist wasn’t a lie. She was a fallen soul by that point, just like any other person in Hell. She has a history like the rest of them, but her time in heaven would be just a relevant as her time alive, which the show has made clear doesn’t matter to anyone in the series. So having Charlie need this sort of pep talk shows why her hotel is a failure more than anything: she doesn’t really believe in anything she is saying. As a concept, sure, but in practice, her sense of redemption has never previously required confession. Only when she feels entitled to another person does it suddenly matter. She doesn’t care about who Angel Dust or Sir Pentious were before coming to the hotel. Them killing other sinners doesn’t affect her at all. It is only when it’s someone she feels personally entitled to, or a sense of ownership over, that suddenly someone’s past matters. And that’s hypocritical. In fact, it goes deeper still in how Charlie is only interested in who Vaggie was before and no one else, but that comes from a sense of owning Vaggie. Everyone else, Charlie rejects on a fundamental value. Angel Dust’s hypersexuality is uncomfortable for her and she wishes he wasn’t that way. Nifty’s sadistic weirdness is uncomfortable for her and she wants that to change too. Husk’s aloof alcoholism is also a problem for her. Even with the Cannibals, she demands them to change (tone it down) to fit her sensibilities even as she is asking them to possibly die for her. I have seen people claim that the whole criticism of Heaven is hypocricy, I’ve said before it isn’t. I’ll assert it again: Heaven isn’t the hypocrite, Charlie is.

The first thing I said upon finishing this episode was “I would have rather seen the episode of Angel, Pent, Nifty, and Husk resolving to stick together despite thinking they had been abandoned. The character drama and the conclusion of them really coming together would have been far more intimate and cathartic than seeing Charlie and Vaggie “make up” by talking with complete strangers.

3/10

[gohannygo]

Emerie lore speculation post?!! :O

Okay guys this is my little gift to myself for finishing my school work on time. Also like low key regardless if you agree or not, drop your Emerie predictions/thoughts in the comments— because for whatever reason my brain has attached itself to her, but she has like 5 mins of screen time and vary little discourse surrounding her :D

Okay guys I’m get real with you, I don’t think Emerie was created as an enhanced clone, or with some kind of special ability. I think she was made to be as plain and reg-like as possible.

Based on Nala Se’s reaction to Omega’s blood being sampled and tested, we can assume she knew and maybe even was responsible for Omegas ability to support an M-count. What I think happened was, Nala se was like “Oh oops it appears I have gotten emotionally attached to this child so I’m keeping her as my own, but I dont wanting any snoopers out there to trying to figure out whats so special about her,” so she created Emerie as a decoy of sorts. Essentially a female version of a reg to send out to the world to prove that theres no reason for anyone to inquire about Omega because look how regular female clones are. Like in a super heartbreaking way, my theory is that Emerie was essentially made to have no identity. To be an obedient little placeholder to take attention away from Omega’s existence.

Wow thats cool but why does it matter?

OKAY so throughout the premiere we saw that maybe there was some trouble in Tantiss paradise for Emerie. Shes been content(?) with complying and doing what is asked of her up until this point, but we saw her be willing to break rules for Omega’s sake, and we also saw how shaken she looked when Hemlock was like “Return to the lab, Dr. Karr”. She also looked like she was really pondering things at the end of episode three when she discovered Omega’s ability to support an M count transfer.

I think maybe during the rest of the season we’ll see her start to grapple with what she really wants to do here, as (I believe, in her own little way), she now has a sister she cares about and wants to protect. I think Omega, through her doll making and Batcher taming, has shown Emerie a little bit of light. That clones can have their own wants, and makes choices based off of them. But really, I don’t think a person who has presumably grown up being conditioned to follow rules and see herself as property would be able to quickly break out of that rigid structure shes used to and make a personal choice to try and keep Omega safe in a significant way.

What? Okay please just bear with me. Wording things is not my forte.

I think Nala Se will see an opportunity to further get in the head of an already torn Emerie. I think she might reveal her original purpose of essentially being made to protect omega. And emerie, who already sort of sees herself as a tool to being used for some greater purpose, will then feel almost like shes been given “permission” to disobey. Sort of like “Oh damn, not only is this something I want to do, but more importantly it was the purpose I was designed for yassssss”. I think she will continue acting as normal but will basically be a shooter on the inside for Omega and it will build up to her sabotaging further experimentation done on Omega if shes captured.

Idk if this makes sense or is dumb. But I just think it could be a cool avenue. Because we’ve seen clones grapple with what theyve done under imperial command and have seen some of them change their ways which is awesome. And, I think it could also be cool to see a character whos been so shaped by her upbrining, and doesnt have that soldier-ly sheer force of will to just defect. I think it could be cool to see someone go about a change of allegiance in a more roundabout way where they basically have to reason themselves through it because they arent equipped to do it any other way. But yeah its 2 AM now so goodnight.

Bonus: Here is an educational diagram I made of Emerie being “sent elsewhere” circa twentysomething BBY

[bundoesnotcompete]

I need this to leave my brain. Reader is a Stellaron Hunter and Gender Neutral as possible. Reader is in their bad guy arc. Violence and likely lore inaccuracies. Also probable slight oocness but i do not think so but a warning just in case. See end for author notes

Elio watched as the Stellaron Hunters left with their scripts for the Zakryn system. It was one of the few places where all hunters would meet in this script. It was also one of the most important scripts for the plan. Halovian wings appeared beside him as the Stellaron Hunter leaned down to look at him.

Elio, in cat form, looked to the hunter. The hunter in front him holding unimaginable power and potential. If all went well, a piece of power would be restored. The hunter tilted their head, Elio knew the question.

"You are to go to the Zakryn system with everyone else. You are to make your own script, with the exception of playing along with the others, as I said before." Elio stated, watching as the hunter's head wings fluttered slightly in response. "All i ask is that you be careful and try not to cause too many problems for the IPC. Once the scripts have been run through for this system, I do not care what you do to them. I already know your answer anyway." The Halovian smiled at the added orders, pleased about what they could do when the script ended. "Go, time will not wait and the Astral Express is already on their way to this system. Go meet the other half." Nodding, the Halovian left the office, only turning back to wave goodbye to Elio.

Yes, Elio thought, with the power Saturday will aquire, they will be one step closer to regaining aeonhood. Soon, the aeon of origin shall return and set all things right.

---------

When you had gotten truck-kuned into one your favorite video games you had not expected to wake up on a dead planet. One you appreantly killed when your spirit was Isekai'd into Honkai Star Rail. Then the IPC showed up, and things only went south from there. Then they seriously wanted you dead after finding out you had accidently killed the planet and they were not playing around. Espcially after turning one of them into a Herrscher. Sweet heavens, you didn't know you could throw up so much until the Herrscher had slaughtered everyone before exploding from their own power, your power.

The silence afterwards had nearly driven you insane until you had found a stream nearby that was somewhat clean. The shock of finding out you were Halovian had given you a panic attack. Well, maybe that was you questioning everything you had been through in the eight or so hours after your isekai. Thankfully after cleaning yourself up, you were able to quickly find the IPC agents' ships. Of course, you couldn't read a damn word of the ships nor understand any of the buttons. After some expermenting, it turned out it wasn't too complicated to drive and after that you spent nearly twelve hours figuring out how to get to a nearby planet.

Once you got to that planet, things did calm down slightly. Well, that was until you had tripped over a cat not even five minutes away from where you had abandoned your borrowed ship. When you had gone to apologize to the cat and see if you had hurt or, your throat closed up, and it seemed you couldn't speak. It took everything in you to shove that panic attack and crisis down. Then, surprise surprise, that cat turned out to be none other than Elio himself. The leader of the Stellaron Hunters had been shocked, and you had thought it was because of your reaction. Unknown to you at the time, Elio had been shocked for shocked for a diffrent reason. He had sense the intense power coming from you and knew what he was seeing. This hadn't been part of any script, your reincarnation wasn't supposed to happen anytime soon. Elio had quickly composed himself and shifted to a more human form. A discussion was had, and soon, you were off to join the Stellaron Hunters.

At the time, only Blade and Kafka had been apart of the group. Since you were unable to say anything, including your name, Elio gifted you the name Saturday. He noted your similarities to the Halovian sibilings Robin and Sunday and assumed your were their recently pronounced dead sibiling. Not that you seemed aware of that, of course. It wasn't long until you had quite the bounty. Between your growing hatred for the IPC and your Honkai powers, many considered you highly dangerous. In fact, the IPC downright hated you which was mutual on your part.

Speaking of Honkai powers, you had guessed that you were some sort of manifestation of The Will of Honkai. Of course, you didn't have the absolute insane powers of it. But, you had figured out that if you poured enough of the Honaki energy into someone, they would turn into a sort of makeshift Herrscher. The expiration date for you victim often depended on the victim themselves. If you felt that they were too dangerous, you could simpily take the energy back early and terminate them early. Oh boy, you had thought when you had first began experimenting with your powers, if you ever meet Welt he was not going to react well to what you were doing.

It hadn't taken long for you to be desensitized to violence and gore. Between getting beat by Blade and Kafka in spars and the experimentation with your powers, you did not have any choice but to be desensitized to it. The first day of your Isekai still haunted you, but even those nightmares began to fade.

Along your journey, you had discovered a new Aeon thag hadn't been in lore when you played the game. The Aeons of Origin and Creation. You didn't find much other than theories about how they had been siblings and how they have their lives to create the universe. Other than theories on their return, not much was found about them. The reminder of sibilings had made you depressed for days afterwards, halovian wings drooping. You missed your friend. You two had been siblings in all but blood. Those thoughts had been banished within days, Elio distracting you with a script that had been absolute fun to play. So here you were, on your way to the system of Zakryn, ready to cause problems and be a menace to those who deserved it. Maybe you would even help those who couldn't help themselves while you were at it.

----------

Welt watched as the planet Zeven came into view outside the Astral Express's windows. Appreantly, the entire system this planet was in was dealing with intense Stellaron activity and Abundance issues. Himeko had suggested that they land on Zeven since it appeared to be the safest planet. While still dealing with a stellaron and abundance issues, the planet was in a rather stable state compared to the rest. In fact, when the crew had last talk to Jing Yuan, he had said that the Xianzhou Alliance would be helping the planets. With so many planets in the system suffering, the entire Alliance would be arrive in few weeks time at most. While the crew splitting up in two diffrent teams worried Welt slightly, it was nothing compared to his true worry.

This Universe was largely unaffected by the immense amount of Honkai energy that often plagued his own. While there were spots of intense concentration, it was nothing compared to what he was feeling in this system. Was the Honkai energy amplifying the issues in this sytem? He attempted to ignore the ball of dread forming in his stomach. Looking at the planet of Zeven was only stressing him out more. Taking a deep breath, Welt broke from his thoughts to try and focus on the now. All he could do was be cautious and watch his team, heavens know how much trouble Stelle and March unintentionally get into. The sound of Pom-Pom's voice echoed thoughout the train announcing the arrival to the planet of Hokkai and to get ready for landing. Turning away from the window, Welt adjusted his glasses and found a place to wait for March and Stelle to arrive.

Things were going to change for all involved with the system of Zakryn. From simple Citzens to the Stellaron Hunters, this system was the first of many major shifting points in the script and tapestry of fate. The first of the Aeon of Origin's power shard was to return to it's true owner, one way or another.

BEGIN ARC: The World of Nostalgic Greenery

-------

Notes:

In my Honkai Star Rail phase. Don't worry SAGAU and things of the like will be back. Like all other stories this was pumped out in like an hour or two. I tagged characters who have POVs in this story but not mentioned ones. The planet of Zeven had like 5 diffrent names i think i got the names in sync? Think thats all i got for now. Hope you enjoyed.

End notes

[mortal-kombat-1]

what is your opinion on johnny cage's character?

Oh boy, this took me a good bit to think on and type out, lmao. Like, would have it all ready to post then think of something else to add. Thank you draft option 🙏

Overall, I think he's more complex than a lot of folks make him out to be. Yeah, its really easy to just think he's the comedic relief only when the game(s) kinda lead you to believe that. You can't really judge him based on one timeline since the plots/stories keep changing with each game (even if you add in the comics and movies). There's no connecting the dots when it comes to MK lore, lol. You gotta be fairly new to the franchise to think otherwise if I'm being very honest.

But given this blog is primarily MK1 Johnny, that's the timeline/version I'll jot my thoughts out for.

He's obviously not a parent in this timeline unlike 10 and 11, so we can scratch even mentioning that. But, he's once again married, not to Sonya but to Cris. Even so, his ego, money spending and his need to be the prime center of attention gets the better of him causing things to sour in his marriage. Of course ending in divorce. I won't stick up for him, he has his flaws, Cris was definitely in the right to divorce 'em. She deserved to be treated better. I'm not saying the man didn't care for her, it was pretty damn obvious that he did. He's very protective and regrets how he's done her -- he made that clear in a couple of intro's. I really felt like he got into the movie business not only because it was something he always wanted to do, but to make a better life for the both of them at some point, but I think he kinda let it all get to his head and let slip away the reason he was initially doing it all for. So in short: He's gotta take responsibility for his own actions. Nobody else is to blame but himself. But even with that being said, he struggled, obviously an alcoholic -- he's mentioned recovery to Ashrah in one of their intro's; though I'm really convinced he started drinking to forget about certain details of his past... and maybe stress because Hollywood. We don't really get enough information on his childhood other than whats mentioned in intro's with other characters. And even then, they never really seem good nor happy. So I like to think his need to be a people pleaser really stems from his parents. That is in no way me trying to make an excuse for his character, though. The man isn't a child/teen, and I've seen people on here and elsewhere, thinking he's in his 20's or early 30's. And after going through some of the files in the game, a lot of the things he's won or collected were from the 90's -- awards being more specific. So I tend to say he's in his early 40's at the youngest. Also, he's mentioned getting someone younger to take on his role so yeah.

I like how even though others might find his tactics and odd sense of humor (which happens 99% at the wrong time) annoying, they still want him there. And he knows that, the damn smirking gives it away. Does he mature in any way in this timeline -- eventually, but I wouldn't say he's changed completely or he wouldn't be Johnny Cage. I'd say he finally realized there's more to life than money and fame when you got the right people surrounding you, and he gets that by the time the game ends.

Also, that damn boopable nose... they ever change that I'm gonna riot.

I could keep going on about this idiot, but I gotta stop there or I will never shut up sdfghjkl;. It's one of those "I see so much of myself in this character and I'm gonna glue myself to them" type of thing.

[conspicuous-clown-car]

lemme ramble for a bit

so i have this story in my head of my self insert and the bs they go through while working at the pizzaplex for like 2 years as a night guard

and originally they were gonna die at the end of it before the events of security breach, smth about them finally getting what they wanted bc that’s one of the reasons they wanted to work there in the first place. but i thought that was way too sad, despite, yknow, it being a horror and if i was in their place id definitely be dead before then. plus there are some things worse than death in the fnaf universe. so i decided to veer away from angst for this story and go for a more thriller horror (maybe psychological) type thing yknow? makes it more fun

THEN i was like yo what if ghosts kids start haunting them to help them find their killer and there’s like 1 for each pizzaplex animatronic (excluding freddy and roxy bc they got gregory and cassie). and it could be super angsty bc 2 of the kids were inadvertently killed because of moon and one was killed by moon, and my s/i is super close with moon right? so it would be like a moral dilemma, bc they want to help the kids but they still want to be friends with moon, but they’re also horrified that he killed a kid. and my s/i would start dreaming and sleepwalking, forced by the ghost kids to relive their deaths to try and find who killed them. but then i started thinking about the timeline of that, and it would mean moon would’ve had the virus or whatever years before this story takes place, which isn’t what i wanted nor did it make sense. so after a while i was just like nahhhh, and it didn’t really mesh well with the story of security breach anyways, its more sci-fi than supernatural now, and including the ghost kids would just be too much crammed into self insert story i have. the kids designs im still gonna use tho lol

NOW after getting back into fnaf after like a few months of not really caring about the lore, i’ve been watching more theory videos and book summaries and stuff like that and it made me shift my whole view on security breach’s story

so i’ve decided that i wanna stick as close to canon lore as possible and make gregory and vanessa/vanny more present and important. i want to focus more on the issues with ai, and show the slow downfall and problems with depending solely on them. i also need to figure out why my self insert has plot armor bc anyone in their situation would’ve been fired or killed by now (i don’t have to stick that close to canon for this i guess). but im just gonna justify it as they’re a pushover who doesn’t ask any questions and just does what they’re told, which is pretty much what got the other employees fired or killed bc they did the opposite (they’re also a huge nerd about robots so they end up being good friends with all the animatronics which is a HUGE plot point in this story, friendship is the real magic love conquers all etc. etc.) don’t get me wrong, they are fully aware of how wrong things are in the pizzaplex and how some things vanessa has told them don’t add up, but they are a good little employee (they are a severe people pleaser) so they feign ignorance to it all.

my self insert being autistic and having adhd is also a big thing i wanna include, bc there’s some really specific shit about their autism that would affect how they survive and stuff. things like trauma responses, masking, unmasking, meltdowns, and shutdowns that will affect their relationships with the others and will domino affect over time and lead to them surviving. idk ive just been thinking a lot lately about social interactions and experiences i have that are negatively or positively impacted specifically because of my autism. choices choices

i also want to make sure that it’s clear how neglected all the animatronics are. not just the dca since it is intended to be a s/i x sun and moon story. but there’s a lot of issues the in game messages have talked about with the animatronics that seem to happen because no one is bothering to help them. they just put a bandaid on a situation but they don’t fix the root problem yknow. also, my s/i doesn’t think the animatronics are sentient at first, and i want that to be a big thing that gets explored several times throughout the story bc i love thinking about robot sentience.

at first i was gonna have monty sort of start to be nice to my s/i, and maybe they could be friends or even have a sibling type relationship (red hair lol) but then i was like nah, monty being an asshole is what makes his character interesting. plus his behavior is a nice contrast from the rest of the band. though i think it would be funny for some characters to think monty is my s/i’s favorite at first bc their hair is dyed red

i also want sun and moon to be as close to canon as possible. while i love love LOVE pretty much every dca x reader fic i ever read, i have a preference for canon depictions of sun and moon lol. no hate to fanon depictions of sun when i say this, but ive been lost in the sauce of fanon sun for too long, and i wanna make him passive aggressive, and sarcastic, and picky, and fussy!! but still an anxious wreck and a people pleaser perfectionist. i’ll admit im still struggling with this. it was kinda hard to get a gauge on his personality at first because until help wanted 2 we had only seen how he interacts with kids. and even though in universe that isn’t the real sun it’s the only indication we have of how he interacts with adults, so im taking it. moon is still gonna be mischievous, creepy as hell, and won’t talk much, but he’s not gonna be killin anyone (yet), he’s just gonna be kind of a stalker lol. also the dca and freddy have beef for some reason, it’s a personal head canon of mine but im adding it to this story hehe

lots of physical injuries, several concussions, a migraine so bad they loose the ability to communicate properly (smth i experience) will all happen to them, bc i am throwing them through the ringer. they will be stressed more often than not. get projected on idiot (i say that as if this isn’t my self insert and is literally me)

tbh this story would mostly be just a slice of life, shenanigan, character driven thing for most of it. but then little things brought up in the past will become important to the plot later on.

like how copyright music can’t be played in front of any of the animatronics or else they will freak out :]

that’s all lol

[lopsicle]

I’m going to rant about this because I need someone to rant about this too.

The Fnaf movie did Cassidy so dirty.

First of all, they decided to turn her into a boy for seemingly no reason other then it’s easier to understand who possesses who, but I think it would still be clear to have a girl possessing a male animatronic, audiences are gonna get that. It also helps prove that Fnaf really cannot write female characters, Charlie was fucked over in the book series, Vanessa’s entire character revolves around breaking free from Glitchtrap which is a plot point we were somehow still on in Help Wanted 2, and Cassidy is criminally underutilised. Elizabeth and Baby are the only solid written characters, and even then Baby is fucked over by the books. They do have some okay characters, like Cassie, Abby and Movie Vanessa but even then, they’re either under-utilised and we don’t know much about them, or their stories aren’t finished yet so it’s hard to comment on them.

Second of all, adding onto the point of characters being under-utilised, where was Cassidy for the whole film? She is the one of the most important spirits of the entire franchise and in the film, he is the one to communicate with Mike but he’s never part of the group. Same with Fritz honestly, those two are excluded for seemingly no reason but Cassidy wasn’t even there for William’s death. Sure, he stood in the doorway in the movie but in the games, she was directly responsible for springlocking him and they couldn’t even let her have that, they gave it to the cupcake.

And third of all, why the fuck did she try to kill Abby? I get that the movie had the whole plot point of the spirits not knowing William had killed them but even then, Cassidy is an incredibly vengeful spirit. She knows what’s it like to have her life ripped away from her so carelessly and cruelly and she’s yet a-fucking-okay with trying to springlock Abby. Just comparing movie Cassidy to game Cassidy shows just how awful movie Cassidy’s character writing is.

Cassidy shows up, he talks with Mike and says he’s going to kill his sister, shows up at Abby’s house, kills her aunt, lures her to the restaurant, attempts to springlock her which is just an agonising death, isn’t there for killing William and just stares at him.

Now if we compare this to the Cassidy in the games, she was most likely killed via springlock failure caused by William, yet still tried to help his family. She actively spoke with the Crying Child and Michael, showing she’s not just blinded by revenge, she was a genuinely kind person. Her being the one to springlock William makes so much sense narratively because it was the same way he killed her, and makes the moment so much more impactful. From then, she helps to put the Crying Child to rest and presumably the rest of the Missing Children, in some theories about the lore, she even communicated with Henry and helped him. And of course, she is the one who sets up UCN to torture her killer, making him live through every mistake of his life. But this doesn’t allow her to rest, or anyone else and we can interpret that she let him go due to the story, ‘The Man in Room 1280,’ where William’s corpse explodes, implying he was set free and the cutscene where Cassidy faded into the dark. AND EVEN THEN, the Princess from Princess Quest is called ‘Cassidy’ in the files, showing that she is still here and trying to help Vanessa because she is a good person.

Movie Cassidy is none of these things and only served to make Cassidy even more unknown as a character. She is so misused by the games, by the franchise and deserves better because she is my favourite and deserves a proper character after everything she has done.

Also obviously, don’t send hate to the actor of movie Cassidy, he’s like nine

[wowowwild]

I asked for 20 but I also want to ask about 21! I love fic recs.

21. Did you ever read fanfictions? Which one is your personal recommendation?

Sorry it took so long! It took me a while to get everything in order, but here it is.

So fun fact: Whenever I read a fic I love I book mark it with the note j'adore so I can read it again later. Some of them get this note preemptively. I also tend to go through a tag on ao3 in date posted ascending order so I start with the oldest and work my way forward so I don't potentially miss anything, but I haven't made it all the way through some tags that I would like to. If there's a fic you think I would like that's not on here, I probably just haven't gotten to it yet! (Most of the newer ones on here I found through Tumblr.)

Also! I'm pretty sure any of the ones that involve smut I have marked as such, but please check the tags on the actual fic before reading! I am not responsible for what content you choose to consume!

That being said, here is Ace's All Time Best Fic Rec List (AATBFRL for short):

Nobody Can Just Say What They Mean (Series)- The first fic is Narumitsu and the second is Klapollo and I think about them allllll the time, especially Things Are As They Are altered me on a microscopic level. Rocks are just rocks, you know? (Narumitsu, Klapollo)

undeniable you (the currents pulling me onward)- Idk what to say. Kristoph Gavin dies in prison and Klavier is suspect #1. Apollo flies back to defend him and yaoi happens. I'm a sucker for Klav getting all scrungled up.

fame vs infamy (the price of writing fanfic out of spite)- It's a crack fic. It's funny. 10/10 would recommend. (Klapollo)

The Definition Of Home- And there was only one bed?!?!?!?!?! What?!?!?!?! And there was a little angst in the bed?!?!?!?!?! Unbelievable. Actually the angst was on the couch, the bed made it better. (Klapollo)

13 Hours- This fic keeps popping up in my fever dreams. I'm not even kidding. I didn't have it bookmarked the first time around but when I found it again, I was like 'oh, I know this one! It haunts my dreams!' and immediately slapped a j'adore on it. Airport Klapollo getting together.

Dig Enough Graves- This one is still being put out, it's a Klapollo roleswap and I love it. I get so excited when I see it's updated. So many things are happening and we have clues and I'm gonna figure it out, ok? *boston accent* I'm sleuthin 'ere! (rated M for violence and sex reasons)

stop the presses (series)- V funny. Apollo works as a columnist and writes thirst essays about KlavGav and gets a date out of it. I am very impressed with the coding used to make this look the way it does.

And if my wishes could all come true- I have reread this one a couple times. I think about it a lot. It is genuinely so funny and makes me feel all sorts of things. I love pre-relationship klapollo divorce complete with alimony while they were not not dating but actually not dating, Apollo you can't just assume that.

Nothing Like This Feeling- Apollo top suregery fic with a dash of Klapollo!

Turnabout Dishwasher- For when you get the hankering for a 422.6k work of art. It's like three fics in one that happen concurrently, which doesn't sound like a description that makes sense unless you read it. There are so many characters here, and shipping is part of it but it's also a whole lot of everything else. These characters are actually living and you get to take a look see. (klapollo, blackmadhi, wrightworth, look just read the tags on the fic there's so much going on)

Such Terrible Tales- A gorgeous magic filled AU with a focus on the casts of aa5 and aa6 and fun cameos from Investigations (so far). This fic is still on going and I would def recommend reading it as it comes out! I love trying to figure out the lore and what will happen next! This fic kind of pulls me off my hinges lol. (blackmadhi)

You Wear Stripes, Too?- Apollo and Klav come out to each other as trans and nb respectively.

Things Best Shared- Klav teaches Apollo guitar.

For A Bad Time Call Simon Blackquill- Iconic blackmadhi fic. I think about it all the time. V funny fake dating au with bits of angst.

Last Resort- And they were roommates! Blackmadhi roommates with lots of healing and shenanigans.

Dating for a Turnabout- Narumitsu fake dating for a case. Larry is there doing Larry things. Franziska did it to them bc she is very smart and cool.

Vacation All I Ever Wanted- I think about this sooooooo much. Tagline: One condo. Six lawyers. Seven secret plans. What could possibly go wrong? (klapollo, narumitsu, athena blackquill and trucy are there)

Alternative Dispute Resolution- Apollo makes Klavier talk to Mr. Wright before they can start dating. It's awkward (and funny) and Trucy is a delight.

Turn(about) my words- The fic where I realized I instinctively start laughing when someone gets shot. He's fine. uhhh narumitsu, phoenix got shot of course bc why wouldn't he and found family stuff.

You're Alive (And that's the only thing that truly matters.)- Klavier gets poisoned and Edgeworth tells the nurses Apollo is his partner so he can get in to see him. Turns out I don't laugh at poisonings, only shootings.

Dog Days- Apollo and Trucy go to another Gavinners concert and Polly misinterprets everything all the time.

Reckless Endangerment- One of the funniest klapollo get togethers. Pollo insults him real good while he's standing behind him, klav thinks about going abroad to study, phoenix has prosecutor going abroad ptsd, apollo might actually be into the gavinners, or at least the titular member.

Good Advice- Klavier Gavin makes categorically bad decisions in the face of love. (klapollo)

Hot For Justice- klavgav gets a muse, guess who?

Rules for Dating a Rockstar Prosecutor- klapollo first date that literally everyone is more invested in than Apollo (until he actually goes).

The Things We Do For Gym Access- Fake dating so Apollo can use the gym at Klav's place until the one he normally goes to gets fixed. Except they're actually really into each other and it's killing me everyday it's killing me I'm dead I'm dying they're so dense and in love and can't figure out why they haven't been caught and it's bc they actually feel like that and on top of pretend dating are pretending to date each other to themselves just kiss istg. Rated Explicit for sexual reasons.

The Walk to Tomorrow- Narumitsu doing Narumitsu things.

Legal Partners- Oooooooo this one! I also think about this one a lot. Narumitsu and klapollo and everyone is idiots they're all idiots. Klav and Edgeworth make a stupid, stupid bet about who has the more meaningful connection with their preferred defense attorney. I love this type of fic.

Turnabout Rubesville- Edgeworth gets accused of murder in a small town bc he's a grump. Phoenix sorts it out.

You Ever Been In Love?- Everyone gets way too involved in making Wrightworth happen, and it goes horribly until it goes right.

Gravity- Rated Explicit for sex reasons. Tbh I really like the oc. She's real cool. def read the tags for trigger warnings. (klapollo)

The soul truth (and nothing but the truth)- Franmaya! There's some spirit medium shenanigans and Lang is a bro.

Exorcism- Klapollo AU aa4 rewrite Kitty is a doll I love her these boys are unhinged look they have a conspiracy closet ok? Rated E for sex reasons.

Play Your Cards Right- Narumitsu agree to go on a date and shake hands about it. Rated E for sex reasons.

Hostile Environments (Series)- Justquill Shenanigans

satisfaction brought him back- Justquill Simon gets turned into a cat. I love fics where someone gets turned into a cat. There aren't a lot but it is a trope I enjoy. I've def read this one a couple times.

Stripped- Klapollo impending. Apollo is also secretly a stripper. Idk if this fic will ever get finished but I liked everything in it.

Curiosity Created the Cat- Klapollo impending. Also not finished and maybe never will be and only 3 chapters but in this one Klav gets turned into a cat. I'm sorry.

if it's really me you seek- Klapollo. I'm just going to post the official summary bc I j'ador'ed it but I don't remember exactly which one this is: Or, when Apollo comes home from Khura'in only to learn that Prosecutor Gavin is avoiding him, the last thing he expected was for Gavin to offer to let Apollo stay at his house while he looks for a new apartment.

As of right now this is everything in my bookmarks that I've read, I think you can figure out my favorite ship lol.

[magz]

Hi Magz! I see a lot of debate about if autism is a disorder, a disease, or a "way of being". You're nonverbal and DSM/psych-critical, so I want to know your thoughts on autism's classification (if/when you're able)

Was think about this for some days,

but epistemology n label stuff wrt neuro-psychiatry is bit magz weakness when try words it.

Am not very enlighten voice of autism, n am in own little world which often have consequence when Magz try communicate ideas early.

Like, this too early for proper...

Am also have different experience of autistic people that unable speak since toddler, n they should be listen to also. So with disclaimer.

Regardless, am try:

when people call autism "way of being" - it often attempt reclaim way medicalization have dehumanize autistic people

when make monster of us by say "autism" something can n should be remove from person

which result in medical abuse, psychiatric abuse, interpersonal n parental abuse.

high rates abuse from caretakers, medical staff, n parents - especially when unable / not allow advocate for self.

so "autism is way of being" is direct response to that history - n cannot be remove from psychiatric context.

the consequence of do "way of being" do embed parts psychiatry into it as essential aspect of person, but is understandable why happen at least.

Keep in mind is the language that often available for layperson go against common reasonings for abuse.

but even if was not "way of being", the abuse that normal happen when autistic - should not.

so we need pin idea center "regardless anything, abuse should never happen nor there be class of people it ok do to" and "there systems n ideas in place that make abuse seem 'necessary' n enforce it or pressure as thing should do, n this should not happen - but it do happen"

-

with "disease", it have even more negative connotation - as well, can reinforce the need of "cure". which, again, become reasonings for abuse.

so many autistics are against that way call it, "disease".

especially when what define "autism" is many traits how people experience world, or outsider perspective of how autistics seem like.

so would, in essence, *become* calling the person and their needs - a disease.

n is often language that lead to eugenics logic: something that need be cleansed from population or forced out of person.

-

with "disorder" - unfortunately the limits of language n its history, make it so.

autism - and previously "childhood onset schizophrenia" - was coined within the bounds of neuro-psychiatry. n is informed by it.

an observation of behaviors n difficulties of function in early 20th century to 21st century, with comparison how "normal" children act

have cemented the label autism, as neurodevelopmental "disorder" (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

the personal experience n difficulties of the autistic individual is real, in sense of any other neuro-socio-biological thing can be

but the way of acknowledge it is through that medicalization

the pick of what pool of 'symptoms' are autistic, the observance of toddlers n children behaviors to 'notice' autism, what is consider normal n what not normal

sociologically n culturally - creating the consequences of what "not normal" mean bit-by-bit in more rigid terms;

thus defining what "average normal child" not need accommodation of n 'should not act like' through "not being autistic, not {many other 'disorder'}"

n biological definings, by working backwards on what people these overlap symptoms have in common when try search it - whatever can -

brain scan, gastrointestinal issues, patterns of regression, comorbidity conditions ...

n we can acknowledge this self-reinforcing aspect, n the inherent medical environment what 'autism' label came from

but as long as we live in this type society, with its hostility to 'autism' n layered lore intertwined

- even with it reference these idea, it have its particular use in language for know what these various circumstance are refer to n these various experience (which not same everyone but it approximate some type idea)

n sometimes (usually "low support needs") people are overeager with their criticism of psychiatry n medicalization, to remove language terms entirely or be picky

while give nothing of alternative or way express experiences for the silenced stigmatized autistics they rarely hear from

or try shut down. cuz they call themselves "high support needs" n "low functioning" for describe their reality of disability

thus, the silencing n narrowing words reinforcing that sort ableism against disabled anyway.

when the point n goal is to empower the persons most hurt by these systems oppression psychiatric, without patronize or silence - in whatever method can.

usually by question these systems authority n narratives they hold, but priority is of the people.

still, am not trust psychiatrists n medical people n such,

they done much horrible things to Magz n seem project own ideas onto self while focus on whatever label n not own person that am, n how am experience personally, n how environment n people are affect

so this experience inform own view

that it. whatever. it not any of those,

but a reality we live by anyway. whatever we call it. but some the terms have more consequence than other.

and am not know how say what want say, cuz like half the words jumble. so. this the best gonna get for now.

n am prolly say lil bit something way wrong way say it, than what meant, cuz it happen often but what can do ?

[highlordofkrypton]

Saw a comment you left mentioning how you didn’t know about the existence of Illyrians (the real people) and one of these days I hope someone makes a database of all cultures/myths etc that sjm stole from but i thought i’d let you know in case you didn’t already that the Nagas are also a real people! Hybern is kind of an old name for Ireland, which is something i was very shocked to learn

Anyway i’m glad more people are being/becoming SJM critical. Her world building and bad writing mistreatment of serious subjects etc triggers my fight or flight response like nothing else haha

Very excited to see more of your work though you’re very talented (are you the legend behind acotarmemes by the way)

I hope so as well; I noticed a lot of lifts without altering them to fit the story while I was researching the lore for my ACOTAR prequel fic and I just started outlining Rhysand's parents' fic (which leads to research afterwards in my process) -- so I'm really glad I stumbled on that post!

I also love lists, would love to just... look at a nice list.

I want to challenge myself by using SJM's framework and fill in the gaps in a way that makes sense. If there are elements I don't like, can I build on them or can I reframe them? One example is the mating bond which makes me uncomfortable in some of the depictions, so I've shifted the perspective on it. Well, I hope I managed to.

Right now, I've jotted a few notes about the Illyrians using my own heritage to try grow an actual culture and history leading all the way up to why they're currently misogynistic, barbaric, etc. I come from a mix of cultures that are highly focused on community and family, and that runs deep in our ancestry, but colonisation has created a fracture in many people's cultural identities, as well as displacement.

It's a tough balancing trick because I'm reluctant to weave something so personal (and precious) into something that SJM's has been really careless about + the ACOTAR fandom can be such a cruel and callous place.

There's also the vulnerability of doing all that work and then it fades into the nether unseen and AHHHHHH-- SORRY I RAMBLED

All that to say, I'm really glad to find out that the Illyrians are a real people so I can use history as a jumping point, then decide how I want to weave my version of them.

I'm 1000% with you -- one of the reasons I started writing ACOTAR fanfic is because the treatment of serious subjects made me angry, especially that of trauma. I have no interest in arguing with people, I can do it but I'd rather spend energy creating something that speaks on my behalf through storytelling. I believe storytelling, if well done, can open minds to new perspectives through the heart 😊

Anyway, I wish SJM learned the art of nodding towards her inspirations instead of just copy & pasting. It's fine for fanfic, but published works is not the place for it in my opinion.

AND YES IT'S ME!! THE MEME, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND BEHIND ACOTARMEMES!!!

hiiii

[genericpuff]

have you watched pyrrhic_victoria's newest video of them critiquing lore olympus? they're currently being called out for invalidating persephone's sexual assault & doubling down on what they've said.

Ohhh boy, I have lol and it's pretty much what I was vague-posting about the last couple days `(*>﹏<*)′

TW: sexual assault, insinuations of victim-blaming, community drama, lil' bit of trauma dumping

So now that I feel sorta okayish talking about this, Pyrrhic & Victoria put out a new LO video recently with a take that wasn't so hot. I won't go into too many details but it was one that essentially attempted to invalidate the existence of SA in Lore Olympus. Which, let me just say, is a really bold but shit take to have because while we can criticize LO as much as we like, it should never, EVER be an excuse to invalidate what we all know was very obviously SA, whether or not P&V recognize it as such themselves.

It's been a bit conflicting for me because while I obviously disagree with their takes, they're in the ULO community and I interact with them on a regular basis. I've hosted them on my streams, I respect them as creators. But that whole schpeel... really didn't stick with me.

I feel like a lot of where this take (and the responses to it) is coming from is personal/subjective, but there's also a general argument between the ULO community and the main LO community when trying to discuss LO because often times, people will supplant their own experiences to defend shitty writing. A very good recent example is Demeter's character assassination - a lot of people defend the poor writing and mischaracterization as "well I had an abusive mom so this is good storytelling!" when it's like... that's neither here nor there. You can have experiences with shitty parents or SA (as I do!) but still separate those experiences from the media you're consuming and recognize when the media isn't being written well. I'm an SA victim myself and while I do NOT think Persephone's SA plot is being depicted well, especially when it comes to Persephone's internal headspace, that doesn't mean I'm justified in saying Persephone wasn't SA'd. That's a completely different line to cross and one that absolutely should not be crossed. Hence why I mentioned above that P&V seem to be conflating RS' shitty writing with the real life experiences of those reading it as their reasoning to criticize the writing itself, not much different from how we complain about the stans using their own experiences to defend shitty writing. It's two sides of the same coin - just because you've experienced the things that happen to the characters in a fictional piece of work doesn't mean that piece of work is actually well written; just because you're criticizing a piece of work for being poorly written doesn't mean you're allowed to invalidate the experiences of the people relating to that work.

All that said, from here on out, I won't be continuing to engage or affiliate with their content. They've explained to me in-depth how they feel about both the situation and the opinion itself and it still seems to just be something that we're gonna have to disagree on because they're failing to give RS even an ounce of credit for that scene. It doesn't matter how shit her writing is or how they think the SA "doesn't make sense" in the context of the story, we all know that scene was SA, even if it wasn't what Rachel originally intended to write, she chose to embrace it through the Eros/Persephone conversation and it's been SA ever since. It's not something that I'm going to debate here, ever. RS mishandling the subplot after the fact doesn't invalidate the nature of that scene whatsoever. And I say that fully as an SA victim myself, the "kind" of SA that often gets invalidated the way they tried to invalidate it - coercive, intimidated, pressured.

I won't blame P&V for being so aggressive with their takes, y'all know I'm pretty loud and outspoken myself. But they took it a step too far in their recent video and I'm not gonna entertain it any further. It's often said on their channel that they're "just two dummies with dumb opinions", but that doesn't mean their opinions don't have the power to hurt others or send toxic messages that are fully capable of being absorbed by and spread by their own audience. That's the responsibility one has to acknowledge when hosting any kind of platform with an audience of any size, and it's one that I take very seriously, both in what I consume and in what I create.

I've definitely been getting that "maybe don't be such a snowflake" vibe off everything going on and I hate to see it. I genuinely want to see them learn and grow from this because I do care about them beyond just their Youtube rants, but so far it's not really looking like that's gonna be the case, at least not for a long while, best case scenario.

People fuck up. We're all human, and part of being human means making mistakes. But what defines our character is how we bounce back from those mistakes. How we hopefully learn and keep an open-mind to learn from others and strive to do better. I really hope they can take a bit to step back, actually listen to what people are saying, and do better. I don't want to see them encase themselves in the same kind of echo chamber they criticize Rachel for. But ultimately, I can't control what they do going forward, so I have to just focus on what I can control - and that's choosing not to engage with their content any further.

[kindestegg]

Analyzing all the differences in the storyboards posted by Yasmin Khudari and the final product! - Part 2: Collector Edition!

And so here we are! If you haven't seen part 1, I urge you to do so, as we looked into some pretty interesting and lore rich boards that were cut or done differently compared to their final episodes!

This post will cover all the boards for For the Future, and as always I'll try to be mindful with how many pictures I add for the image limit!

While chronologically the sequence with King and Collector playing pretend comes first, that one gives us a LOT more ground to cover, so I'll start with the Bedtime Story sequence, which is frankly easier to get through!

First of all: minor change, Collector used to get big sparkly eyes when asking King to read them a story!

And there also used to be dialogue by Collector after he drops the huge book down, stating that this book usually takes 300 years to get through, but assuring King they usually fall asleep midway. I think this is kind of a funny line and it would make sense with the way King responds "easy..." afterwards, which did make it in the final cut. Of course we still get that impression without this dialogue, but it was kind of funny. The book also appears to have paper pages here, rather than stone slabs.

Minor visual thing that I think is very cute: the scribbles over the "bad" part Collector did used to have little angry faces! I'm so sad they didn't make it in! Look at them! One is sticking its tongue out!

Small but super interesting dialogue change also: King used to read aloud the part Collector scratched out anyway, and go "yikes" as a response to it (fun! and accessible for viewers who may not be able to read it when it comes up for some reason!) and as a result, Collector doesn't say "don't read the NEXT part, skip to where I fixed it", but rather just "don't read the BAD part", confirming he does view it as bad. He also would say "right..." when finishing reading! I like how talkative he used to be here... sad it got lost.

Minor thing! King also used to tilt his head when telling Collector he only lets one other person hold François. This little movement is absent from the final cut!

There's also a dialogue change with Collector, he doesn't refer to Luz as "that human", but rather by name, going "your old best friend, Luz". I wonder if this was changed because the crew thought Collector might not want to admit this about Luz, or if maybe it felt inaccurate since Luz is more specifically King's sister figure.

And finally... oh these boards have gone viral baby. Excited to talk about them!

Instead of saying "I don't like being alone" after asking King at least leave François to watch over them, Collector says they promise not to touch it which... oh myyyyy God, this is so cute.

But I am conflicted about it! I think the inclusion of the line about loneliness makes a lot of thematic sense considering how this is brought up again by King to Eda and Lilith, as a reminder of the pivotal part of Collector's trauma dealing with his imprisonment, but on the other hand! This original line would have driven home the point of how good Collector is trying to be for King, specially with the divergence that comes next.

This! This feels so important! This is a call back to the moment where King tells Collector they can trust him (and this is present in both the roughs and cleans AND the final episode!) and make a pinky promise! This right here is a direct parallel that has King decide that if he tells Collector they can trust him, he should trust them too! This is decisive in portraying them as two kids who are trying to see each other as equals and just have immensely unhelpful circumstances all around them!

I can understand why it was reworked though, again, I feel like they might not want to let the audience forget about The Collector's loneliness because it is such a pivotal part of their arc and it constitutes the very important theming of how wrongful imprisoning someone is, and how punishing children through methods that border on or are straight up torture do nothing to help them grow. If this wasn't brought up again at least once, I can see the crew feeling this section of his character was neglected, and he was made into just a playmate for King to hang out with that'll inevitably turn good by the end.

I just... wish I could have them both, lol but well, other fans also had some pretty big losses in other storyboard changes, so I guess I'll settle for what we have now! I did speculate the theming of trust and telling the truth and striving to see each other as equals will come back next special, so here's hoping this won't be dropped completely!

Anyway, now for the big event! The roughs AND cleans for the playing pretend sequence! For this one, since there are sometimes differences happening between each of the board sets AND the final episode, I'll be adding those simultaneously as things happen.

First of all! Immediate punch to the gut: In the roughs, Willow used to run at her dad and get close to him and try to talk to him, not just wait until the puppets started running and screaming! I can only imagine they took this out because this would just be really sad?? But this show also revels in sadness and they do want to make us feel for Willow so I do not get it... maybe time save? Either way. I cry.

Oh yeah also! As you can see here! The puppets used to, for the most part, have stars for eyes instead of just stylized eyes? It's more subtle in the clean version but their eyes still turn into stars when they're "activated". I'm not sure why this was changed other than to maybe make it easier to animate.

Willow seems to have no dialogue when running after her dad both in the roughs and cleans, though in the cleans she does only run after him when he starts running and screaming, just like the final episode.

Also! There is a small scene not present in the final episode but both in the roughs and cleans: When Terra is running around as the owl beast, there is a close up of her obscured face with mouth open looking like a big monster mouth. I can see that they probably cut this due to it probably being weird to get such a close up without giving away it's not Eda, or maybe it was just for some extra time.

Another minor change, when she sees her dad getting attacked, in the roughs, Willow doesn't bring out her staff, instead just covering her mouth. In the cleans, she does the final episode motion normally. I think they may have changed this to reflect her personality better: we do know Willow is the type to want to jump into action to protect those she cares for.

Also minor detail: after Collector says "stop right there, beast" there used to be no frame showing Willow being surprised by this and hesitating, cutting directly to Collector's star descending with him and King on it.

Minor dialogue difference as well! Both in cleans and roughs, Collector did not address the "citizens of Bonesborough", but rather declares "I'm here to stop your mad rampage!" at the beast! I feel like it may have been changed to better reflect his view of playing the hero of the story here, instead of just playing the role of hunting the beast as he may have done before.

However the identification of his role as Luz came in the form of something else, as King used to have added dialogue in both the roughs and cleans, going "Use the spell I helped you find, Collector!" This is very cute, and I kind of wish they kept it in, it solidifies that King is playing along as an important part in the story, just like the actual episode they are referencing! I wonder if it was cut for time or if it was redundant or something...

And then King goes "I believe in you!" with your usual "Thanks, best friend" reply from Collector.

We also have this short little cut moment where you can see them looking at each other happily and there's a weird divergence between the roughs and cleans here. See, they're nearly identical, but in the roughs, King appears to be blushing for some reason?

Granted, we have seen characters blush in non-romantic settings before, even cut blushes in storyboards such as Luz blushing when being happy about Philip being impressed by her (I still feel so bad for her!) ...but it is at least notable here because a lot of people debate whether King actually enjoyed Collector's company and would like to be friends in the future or not, but I feel like moments like these in the storyboards (the bit about trusting each other from earlier on comes to mind) help solidify that they were always meant to befriend each other, King isn't just a miserable participant with no agency whatsoever! His little blush could indicate he feels happy by now to play with them! And there are further boards I will show that further prove this!

In the final cut, this bit is of course, absent, instead just cutting to Luz's eyes widening. This also leads to a funny little divergence in the roughs and cleans, where what I think happened here is that the reaction Luz used to have at Terra coming out of the Owl Beast costume was instead at first going to be her reaction to King and Collector playing together and seemingly enjoying each other's company... which is very funny to me. I think they may have changed this because it may have seemed a little too mean spirited to have Luz react so badly at King being happy around Collector.

Look... I made a GIF to show how they're one to one the same frame... This literally is just funny to me.

Another small cut moment, there used to be an overview shot of the puppets cheering for Collector! This one is very cute. Look at them with their little hands on their hips!!

And because Luz's reaction to Collector and King being besties got switched around, this caused another set of fun divergences in the roughs, cleans, and final storyboards.

In the roughs, Luz has a moment where she looks attentively at the Owl Beast costume as the camera holds on it, likely doing a kind of suspense zoom and then bait and switch. In the cleans, the zoom doesn't happen. However in both the roughs and cleans, there is a close up of Luz reacting with a weirded out face at the same time as Terra says "back to normal" offscreen.

I imagine what happened here is that these expressions from the boards were then re-tooled to be the close up shot we see of Luz reacting to King and Collector, her eyes just widening as she stares in shock.

Further on, Terra also has some cut dialogue and actions, which are the same in both the roughs and cleans:

While kicking off a bit of the costume, she then throws her "hair" back and goes "Bad girls and so on". This is a funny little bit that I can only think was maybe but for time!

And then! We actually have a case of added content! In the roughs and cleans, Collector didn't give Terra any descriptions about Eda being "like a cool aunt" who "actually cares a lot". I do think it was clever to include this, it helps show a little better that Collector actually respects and likes Eda despite how things are at the moment.

After that, both in the cleans and roughs, Terra's dialogue changes a little bit, instead of calling King a "stupid little" dog, she calls him a "little freak" dog, which does sound like a kind of harsher insult.

Another minor change that is barely noticeable, the roughs and cleans call for Terra clearing her throat before going "Ooh, I like musicians", and you can see a BIT of this motion in the final cut, but she doesn't actually do it, just sort of inhales.

Similarly, there's another cut bit in both the roughs and cleans where Terra would cough and gag right after this line, indicating she would maybe be disgusted by Eda and Raine's relationship. I think this could've been a funny bit but I understand if it was cut for time or maybe the VA couldn't cough at that moment due to complications for any reason.

This next scene is also slightly different! And contains also small differences between both the roughs and cleans! Collector, instead of saying, "You're not being very nice right now", goes "I never pinky swore to THAT."

In the roughs, he assumes more of a frowny expression, just looking kinda angry at Terra like in the final cut, but in the cleans, he gives this sinister ass smile that I love love love! Oh, my little son named warcrimes who commits atrocities and I adore it.

Minor change: Terra used to plead "no no no no" before getting turned into a puppet in both the roughs and cleans, but this is absent in the final cut.

Alright, this next part gets REAL complicated with the divergences not just towards the final cut, but with both versions - rough and clean - between each other. There's a ton of dialogue changing and even action/expression changing, and I'm very excited to talk about it.

First, in both the roughs and cleans, after going "Collector, buddy, you gotta stop doing that." King doesn't plead "Think about what you're doing to these people", but instead says "You're running out of people to play with." I imagine they may have changed this to make King seem more sympathetic to the plight of the people getting turned into puppets, whereas the first one showed more of his practical side knowing just what to say to Collector to get them to question things, as Collector would probably respond better to being reminded this is less people to play with. Another reason why this may have been cut is because one could argue Collector can still play with the puppets, just that they won't be sentient.

Here is where we run into our first divergence: present only in the cleans, King also adds "plus, you could've really hurt someone!" I imagine this bit was added in the cleans to make up for that need of showing King's compassion, but I think the reason this was also changed is that it doesn't make sense? We know the puppets aren't getting hurt, sure it's terrifying to lose control of your own body and be forced to be a doll and sleep within that wooden carcass, but they're not at risking of being actively hurt and can be easily fixed if anything happens. This is of course still bad, but the threat of physical harm doesn't make sense in this case particularly.

Because of this divergence, here's where the roughs, cleans, and final cut split into three different versions:

In the roughs, Collector responds by continuing to seem sad and going "But we'll NEVER be able to play Owl House right without an Owl Lady." He then pleads: "Maybe if you let me talk to Eda myself-" which... certainly seems a lot different than the chipper "maybe if I ask her real nice, I won't have to turn her into a puppet" from the final cut. This reads even more like Collector wants to connect to Eda and talk to her, but is being actively kept from it by King. I can see why maybe this was cut as it would make King look a little bad for barring Collector so much from seeing Eda if he is so well meaning, whereas the final version actually seems more threatening and like King has a reason to not want them interacting yet.

In the cleans, however, because King added that comment about maybe hurting people, Collector responds in a really interesting way: "You said this game was pretend, why do I gotta worry about stuff like that?" Both the roughs and cleans as you've probably already picked up lack that malicious "you're so boring" jab at King, but this one is definitely the one with the most striking contrast, as this one directly implies Collector WOULD worry about hurting people, and is just confused as to how this could happen in their game.

This makes King go into his little speech about playing pretend having consequences, but this one is also slightly altered: Instead of saying "playing pretend", King says "living in a fantasy has consequences, too. Real ones". And ohhh! I would like to bite my fucking arm off at this!! Do you see this shit! Not only is this perfect fodder for the theory Collector is trying to shut himself away from the grief he feels over the titans and refusing to confront his past trauma and generally repressing his emotions, but! It is even more of a DIRECTLY DRAWN parallel to King, by HIMSELF, at King's season 1 self and his backstory of having once believed he was the King of Demons.

But of course, I can see reasons why this may have been changed. Namely, "living in a fantasy" may have confused audiences while "playing pretend" is more of a direct description of what is happening. Also "real ones" may have just been cut for extra seconds. Lord knows they need those.

After King says that, Collector launches into his usual excited talk of Eda, though he doesn't say "no substitutes allowed". However, just like in the roughs, how he refers to talking to Eda here is pretty different. Here, he says "Maybe if you'd let me talk to her, she'd wanna play-"

Again, no mention of turning her into a puppet. Hmmm.

So, I have some theories. First is pretty straight-forward, they added the threat of her maybe getting turned into a puppet to keep the stakes high and give a reason for King to really object Collector talking to her. The second one... well, it involves a lot about Collector's arc in this episode and how it may have changed over time, but I want to talk more about it once we finish looking at all the boards for differences, and believe me, we aren't done yet.

After this, the roughs and cleans meet again, and both of them feature King going "n-no", but unlike the final cut, his dialogue is slightly different here again: he doesn't say "Her curse is still in effect." He says "She's still... not feeling well... y'know. The curse and all that." It's a subtle difference, and it does use more words and pauses, so I think they may have just changed this for time.

The roughs and cleans and final all diverge again here: In the roughs, King reassures Collector by saying "I'll talk to her about joining the game, don't you worry." In the cleans, it switches to "D-don't worry! I'll talk to her for you". In the finals, we have the known "But I can check if she's feeling better." Here we have a progression that I think shows us the difference between King promising Collector something we really aren't going to see- which is Eda joining the game, to say he'll talk to her for him which is similar but vaguer, and then, just saying he'll check on her. I feel this change may have occurred so his promise is mostly kept here.

Slight divergence: Collector goes "you promise?" as a response in all versions, but only in the cleans and final version does he do that little lean while smiling. In the roughs, he used to remain kind of sad looking. I wonder if initially they were going for Collector initially doubting King, but discarded that in favor of his more confident behavior.

And hoo boy, this next divergence is another that makes me kind of insane. You see, while King says the same thing in all three versions, "You can trust me, Collector" and offers a pinky promise, his expressions and motions! They are so different in storyboards!

In the final version, you'll recall King has his gaze averted while offering the pinky and looks kinda sad while doing it. In both the roughs and cleans though...

Look at how happy he seems doing it! He looks at Collector the whole time, only looking away at their pinkies for a second, then they have a moment where they just look at each other happily!

So this is that further implication I was talking about, that King and Collector, at least in some iteration of the story, were written to actively be friends, and not just have a one-sided thing.

Again, I have a few theories about why this was changed. Another straightforward one is just that they wanted to show King was still worried about things and not just nonchalant about the misery around him. Another possible, less straightforward one is that they really wanted to keep the thing about King actually caring about the Collector and not wanting to hurt him a surprise. In a way, that makes sense, younger people may fall for this, hell, I've seen at least one or two people online confess they really thought King wanted to kill Collector with that line from him. So to show them being so indisputably intimate would kind of spoil that.

That being said though... I have another theory, the very same that connects as to why other things have been changed, but again, it's kind of big so I wanna talk about it after we're done.

Only in the roughs now, there's a small bit where we see Camila scoot over to Luz's side to ask "Is that the little guy you've been telling me about?" (Notice in the final cut she also says little King, not just little guy. I feel like this was done to avoid confusion on who she referred to.) In the cleans, it just cuts instead of showing her getting there.

There's also a big divergence in the roughs, cleans, and final result here. First of all, in the roughs and cleans, there's no zoom in on Camila's face.

Then, in the roughs, after Camila comments "ay, que lindo", Luz gives out a giggle and goes "Verdad?" which means "True", like she was saying "true, right", like!! It's like ikr for spanish basically. However, she looks sad right after, and so does Camila upon realizing Luz still feels bad. I think they probably cut this for time, really, as well as maybe they thought Luz wouldn't be in the mood to laugh at her mom reacting the same way she did when she first met King.

In the cleans, however, this scene is way more depressing. Camila still gushes over King like normal, but here, Luz's reaction is just sighing and giving an eerily blank looking dejected expression. My god girl. You are not doing well. And of course, Camila does get sad seeing her this way.

Minor change, Collector used to not say Archive House, just the Archives!

Another minor but fun change: Amity used to reply to Camila's question about the eyeballs being normal but not Collector, by going "Yeah, that's basically it."

Some pretty heartbreaking cut dialogue here as well, in both the roughs and cleans, after Hunter says they should follow Collector and King as Belos is probably trying to get back to the Collector, Willow points out they're flying too fast.

The roughs and cleans diverge here a bit, but Hunter's reaction is more or less similar.

In the roughs, Hunter goes "Flap would be able to-" before cutting himself off and storming off.

But in the cleans, this is made further more upsetting, as he says "Flap could-" then pauses for a moment, entirely silent, realizing what he just said. Then he announces "It's fine." and walks off, stating that "there's more than one way to find him."

I! Really mourn these losses! These are such neat little moments that solidify Hunter's grieving and I wish we could've kept them! I can only think they may have been cut for time, the crew felt they didn't need to add more, or they didn't want to rub it in.

Minor dialogue changes ahead, Gus doesn't say "it looked like they were playing a game", but specifically focuses on The Collector, saying it looked like (they) were playing pretend (hmmm, possible Gus role with the Collector foreshadow?) Similarly, Luz doesn't described it as a "messed up version" of her life, only HER life. Gus also doesn't refer to them as puppets in roughs and cleans, but rather as toys.

Before climbing up the debri to look at the Archives, Luz would say "The Archives..." dramatically, in both the roughs and cleans. Also, may just be the nature of the roughs being roughs, but in the rough storyboards the Archives look way more like a bunch of floating debri strung together rather than a full on circular castle.

And... that's it basically! Whew! That was... quite a lot as you can tell, just these two scenes had so much material they practically overshadow the sheer amount of content the first part of this little analysis project had.

Okay, so. Again, as the guy who usually goes cuckoo crazy theorizing on every little thing related to the Collector, this was a feast for me, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't very intrigued by how much Collector's characterization -specially in relation to King- changed from the storyboards to the final product.

One thing you may have already clocked just from this is that The Collector and King used to seem much more like close friends, as well as there was less of an emphasis on Collector's loneliness and implied trauma rather than on the issue of trust between King and Collector- can they really call each other best friends if they don't take the steps to trust each other and be honest with each other?

Hell, there's even ANOTHER modified detail from the storyboards where King used to SMILE while beaming up with Collector after meeting Odalia.

So... what happened? Why did they change this? I've given you my reasons before but have been teasing one big theory all along, so I will say it now: I think they were pretty confident up to a certain point in diving into the themes of friendship and trust and telling the truth with Collector and King that I've already kinda identified as remaining in this episode, but that got kinda built up for the next episode, but then they realized "oh shit, we are barely touching on Collector's own trauma from being put in hardcore solitary for hundreds of years and having his psyche shattered into pieces from that we should probably. Focus on that huh."

And so was born a revised version of the episode that focused on King feeling a lot more general pity and sadness for the Collector, and the Collector in turn also being allowed to show more sadness that wasn't just related to not getting why his games are going wrong or why King won't let him talk to Eda. One where a more young and/or impressionable audience may be excused to think King didn't like Collector that much, but the twist is that he does, in fact he feels bad for them and relates to them.

Put simply, these earlier versions were nice, but they lacked the drive back to focus on the metanarrative Collector brings to the table of how terrible it is to punish a kid- or anyone- with extended solitary imprisonment, even if they did do bad things or are still doing them. And honestly, I'm still conflicted! I still like both of these a lot, I really think I would have enjoyed this earlier version with them being clearly besties maybe even more, but I also can't say I wouldn't have been frustrated if they never brought up Collector's trauma and issues ever again, specially after setting that up through Season 2B.

But well... I still will hold these storyboards near and dear to my heart, and I hope this post will reach many more people and spread the good word of the King and Collector endgame besties agenda being real!

[vaalthus]

Convergence Part 1 (spoilers)

*Deep inhale*

*Long exhale*

THE TIME IS NIGH!!!

So to start,

I have to say I was utterly shocked that Jaania chose not sacrifice any more of her forces to buy her more time weave her spell but after giving it some thought it's an action that makes sense for her. As I mentioned in commenting on the Final Steps release, Jaania is finally able to see that our motivations we're always intended to strive for everyone's sake in the best of ways we knew how. As a result, she's hoping we can see and have faith in the good she's trying to bring about through her ascension.

As such, it makes no sense in her eyes to waste the lives of those who have been so loyal to her in helping her reach this moment when there's a chance their lives can be spared by us and they in turn be able to experience the world she seeks to achieve. Though those same troops would have been more than happy to lay down their lives for her so that world is brought to fruition. It's just a pity Jaania didn't give the order to retreat sooner otherwise the last of the Pelekoans might have survived.

What troubles me is the comments like these:

It's no secret to anyone that the last of Jaania's forces were those who were most loyal to her and her vision but what I find troubling here is the inevitable aftermath of these people once this conflict reaches its conclusion. As Hansa, pointed out to us in the Awakened Depths, Jaania became a beacon for those who had a simple wish to be achieved: to be free of any and all magical threats that Lore offers. However, it's not just these soldiers that want that, it's the nobles, the farmers, the little guys that have been supporting the Rose all these years across Greenguard and likely still do, sure that number has definitely taken a dive since the start of Book 3 but I doubt it's still insignificant. All of those people will soon find their dreams and the person who was meant to bring back a sense of uninterrupted peace in their lives is about to be dashed. We can only hope their response to this reality is constructive as opposed to the opposite.

What I've been saying all along folks :3

Miss me with that "we're not so different you and I" speech.

I like to think this is the Hero taking all they've learned about the ability to make choices in the Maleurous saga and is just throwing that much needed wisdom back at Jaania who feels the need to instill order in the world.

This comment is interesting to me because we have seen the Hero effectively try and be everywhere all at once for eveyone's sake, quite almost obsessively I might add, and I feel if Jaania hadn't recently just had a change of heart on her perspective on them, and taken the time to analyze the Hero's deal, she might have been able to more strongly appeal to their need, their desperation, in protecting everyone they can. Not that it would work either way, the Hero's distrust and deep-rooted fear of her, as seen in Fear, showed that getting us on her side was simply not possible.

If she was more predatory, of course, she would have used that aspect against us as every other villain that attacks our psyche has done before. A neat contrast here is what I'm pointing out.

*sigh* Every single new questionable scene with this woman continues to force me to find comfort in the fact that her and the other Magesters too dependent on the Mana Core Fragment will be dead eventually thanks to Roirr's actions. I truly want to believe there's a positive future for the Shapeless Empire that doesn't involve exploiting its citizens through this agreed upon cycle without violence but the rotting hands of the past never want to let go of control easily.

YOU GAVE THEM TRAUMA AND WEREN'T EVEN SORRY!!!

Okay technically this right here is the more sensible reasoning, but I stand by what I said! What I like most in this scene is that we simply reaffirm what we've been trying to tell her since this whole mess started with her organization. Everything we bring up about the harm the Rose has done thus far has been consistent and aren't negated by the fact that Jaania, at heart, wants to do what she believes is best for everyone's sake.

What I love even more however is how she averts her eyes the moment we bring up Akanthus because she knows she can't even reasonably, or delusionally for that matter, deny she has made a grave error in judgement in allowing Akanthus' abuses on, well, basically everyone, and soon everything, in his wake. It's that "Yeah, ya got me there look" that just sends warm feelings down my spine.

Now if you told me at the start of this saga Jaania was going to offer us a bargain to effectively play as the puppeteer god of fate alongside her, I definitely would have called you insane. It's moment I'm sure comes as a complete shock to everyone, it certainly did to me anyway. And honestly why wouldn't it? It's one thing to ask us to stand down and simply allow her to achieve apotheosis but it's a completely different matter to propose to come and play god. But it's one that sadly makes all too much sense.

Jaania has admitted that she has made terrible mistakes and has been too much of an imperfect being in her quest to achieve peace and prosperity for Lore. So better way to accommodate for her ham-fisted actions and judgement so far then to have someone like the Hero to hopefully keep her worse tendencies in check. As opposed to someone like Akanthus or Zadd who would, in all likelihood, make things worse had they been afforded the opportunity. There's another reason I believe she makes this offer but I'll get to that later.

Nothing else to say here beyond epic callback!

Out of all the Hero's moments in this quest, I believe this is where their experiences throughout the Maleurous saga shines through the brightest.

In a way, you could argue that, in spite of the obvious chaos that will come with it, Jaania's plan is to instill an eternal order, a Destiny, upon Lore itself, one in which she will insists never ends as she dictates. Yet the Hero knows the importance of others being able to decide the paths they choose to walk, I'd argue they've known that since Calamity, without some transcendental hand to yank them in another direction against their own will. So they certainly would not agree to be the one to dictate the fate of all those that live on Lore let alone allow someone as misguided as Jaania to do it.

Okay, I think we all knew that the void pearl was too easy a solution to deal with Akanthus and was likely not going to work but there's something absolutely amusing about Hesperrhodos being used a shield to be sent to the Void and then teleport immediately back to Lore without issue since, ya know, Elemental Spirits can just do that at any time. Hell I at least would have thought that thing would have let a monster through or something. The downside to seeing Zvezdana looking completely slack-jawed after these events unfolded is the fact that we still don't have a damned plan to take Akanthus out of commission...so yeah.

I have to say I love this final appeal Jaania gives to the trio of combatants because it shows a few things. First, that she still fails to understand that her organization was really only giving the illusion of peace to all those the dwelt within range of the Rose's reach and even then only really through the lens of normal humans. Second, it displays that she never truly had a proper grasp on the relationship she fostered with those she worked alongside. Lastly, she places too much hope that wanting the same things is not the same as agreeing ideologically how get those things.

Which inevitably leads to one option: Violence

I have waited 12. long. years. for this very moment. 12 years spent waiting since we broke free from that ice cap. 8 years I waited since from the first time we saw her again in Timelines. 7 years since the original Gala and our spat. 4 years since dealing with the second rift and I had a deeper appreciation for her mental state which motivates her.

And now I am finally here to fight Jaania one on one. So, you best believe I fought alone to prove which of us was could beat the other!

The following boss fight that ensues is perhaps one of the best thematic story fights in the entire game at this point, as it should be for the antagonist that is the face for this entire saga. I'm quite pleased that devs designed her to be difficult, hell I'm even glad that couldn't easily soul gambit my way out of this one.

In terms of mechanics, it's everything you could expect, Jaania does everything she can to debuff us and each time she fails and has her health cut down in bulk she commands even more strength to take us down, even attempting to go for the old freeze'em solid trick and when that doesn't draw any purchase thanks to Aegis she relies on her new found soul weaving arts to dispatch us. All the while we deal with the tragic music in the background tugging at the heart strings for a conflict that should have been avoided.

How far we've come since the Doom Amulet was our first real challenge in-game for year, eh?

And can I say how amusing it is that Jaania trapping us in ice is something that could only work once? Aegis apparently always had the means of unfreezing, he simply couldn't due to Draco keeping everyone away from where we were placed. So, with him already being close by to protect our soul from going poof, there's no way he's going to let us get trapped again. Even more amusing is to think about how Jaania is basically using the old ice soul weaver meta to take us on.

But after all of that we prove in the end, with or without aid, to be stronger than Jaania, at least in this exact moment.

It's a pity though that the moment does not last as expected Jaania will not let it end without fighting at her full potential.

This right here is the reason I believe Jaania made her initial proposal to us and why I bring up the Maleurous saga. For me at least, it's easy to see the similarities between Jaania and Notha. Both are exceptionally powerful accomplished mages that desperately sought out to change a world that gave them deep rooted traumas that they wished to change that world so that the suffering they experienced could not continue. However, where Notha wanted to bring about chaos to change the order of the world; Jaania is hellbent on imposing order on the chaos the world of Lore and its magic offers its inhabitants. Furthermore, I suspect, unlike Notha, that Jaania cannot bring herself to reconcile with the trauma magic has placed on her life and the people she cared about. Most defining of all though, which will likely be her downfall, is her need to be in control of everything so that she or anyone else might never hurt again.

Antagonists like Jaania are always left in a hard spot. They seek to rid the world of suffering and conflict forever and while that is a noble desire they fail to realize how unfortunately intrinsic those things are to existence. Thusly they bang their heads on a wall until they're bloodied and broken only for that dream they longed for to dissipate before their very eyes.

And so, her last option is to go full synchronization. I can't guess what happens next here with Jaania. Judging by the increased streaks of white in her hair, her soul is continuing to unravel though I think she's in no worse of a state than Tomix was when he was at the end. I was originally going to say synchronizing with a corrupt spirit created through forbidden magic would spell instant catastrophe for Jaania but then I remembered Aspar was created through the same means, although he was just a fragment, so she might pull off the effect with little issue.

I suppose we must simply wait and see what becomes of our troublesome Arch Magus and where the winds will turn for her ambitions.

And of course, there's still this asshole and the doom device.

[descendinginto-madness]

you're safe now.

word count: 878

content warnings: mentions & descriptions of injury

summary: the aftermath of a mission gone... not so right.

author's notes: taking a small break from ocs. just for a little through don't get used to it 😋 alsoooo obv i can't control how peope interpret my work but just keep in mind i didn't write this with a romantic ship in mind 🫶

contains mild spoilers for dan heng's lore

“You should be more careful,” Dan Heng says, sitting next to Stelle on the edge of her bed with a first aid kit. She rolls her eyes, and he lets out a heavy sigh. “You know I'm right.”

“I'm always careful,” she replies, almost annoyed, and he raises his eyebrows but doesn't say anything to that. Instead he simply moves a bit closer. Stelle has already taken off her hoodie, making it easier for him to access a fairly big cut on her arm; it's unfortunately not the only injury she came back with from the mission, but the most serious one - from what Dan Heng could see - and it makes him a bit relieved that there's nothing more serious or harder to treat. 

“Show me,” he asks, and she pulls away the now bloodied piece of cloth she was pressing against the wound. The Vidyadhara takes a moment to look at the cut, before he proceeds to clean it; he doesn't hesitate with his movements, but he's also gentle, careful not to cause Stelle more pain. 

He finishes cleaning the excess blood and bits of dirt that got into the cut, and turns away for a moment to grab the disinfectant.

“It might sting a little,” he warns, but when the only reaction he gets from Stelle is a nod, he realizes that something is not quite right.

There's no snarky or slightly unhinged remark, just silence; she has been awfully quiet for the past few minutes, and if that wasn't enough Dan Heng also notices her face looks pale, and his eyebrows furrow slightly.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

“Yeah?” She looks back at him, seemingly slightly surprised by the question.

“Not feeling faint or anything like that? You look pale.” He doesn't let it show in his voice, but there's concern starting to grow inside him. What if her injuries are worse than what he initially thought? What if there is some more serious wound that she has been hiding from him up until now? Or what if the Stellaron decided to sabotage her body again and she’s feeling sick? 

He goes on to disinfect the wound carefully, trying to make it seem like everything's fine. It's better not to freak Stelle out… Or give her a reason to tease him again.

She does neither of that, though.

“Do I?” she just asks, and then shakes her head. “No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.”

There's a “but”, he can sense it, but it doesn't seem like she's going to continue, and Dan Heng isn't sure how to make her talk. It's painfully obvious to him that there is something weighing on her mind, but he doesn't know how to approach it. He sighs quietly; sometimes, just sometimes, he wishes the Vidyadhara powers included mind reading - that way, maybe he could make some use of them.

As he reaches for the bandages, though, he suddenly realizes something.

He remembers how he found Stelle - in a dead end, backed into a wall, bloodied and dirty and clearly exhausted, trying to ward off three monsters at once. He remembers the look on her face; it was determination, but also fear, and it turned into relief only after she finally spotted him.

When he begins wrapping the bandage around her arm he asks yet another question, but this time his voice is softer.

“Still thinking about what happened?” 

He has to wait a few seconds for a response; once again, it's a nod.

“Yeah,” she admits, her voice similarly quiet. She's silent for a bit more, as if she was thinking about whether she really should say anything more. “...Sorry,” she finally adds. “You're right. I should be more careful, if I was then—”

“Stelle,” he interrupts her. She looks up at him, and their eyes meet. “Do you think I'm angry at you?”

“Maybe?” she laughs, but he notices her eyes are a bit more glossy than usual. 

“Then you should know that I'm not,” he says. He finishes bandaging her arm and gently takes her hands to examine them; thankfully, there seem to be no injuries there. “I might get annoyed, but I'm not actually angry, okay?” he asks.

“But… I don't know,” she says. “It’s just… It was scary? I don't know.” Her eyes wander back down, to the ground, and the look on Dan Heng's face softens. “If you didn't show up…”

“I know,” he replies. It's… Oddly painful to see Stelle like this, so unlike herself. This entire thing seems to have affected her more than he initially thought, and it makes him feel guilty for not noticing it sooner. At the same time, he feels odd being the one to comfort her right now - March is definitely way better at this than him - but… He supposes that this one time, he won't mind. But that obviously means he can't leave her with only two words, so he speaks again. 

“I can imagine this was quite scary, but it's done now, right?” he adds. “You're here, and you're safe, and that's the most important thing.”

She's quiet for a moment, but, eventually, she nods.

“...Right,” she says, and he's glad to see than when she smiles this time, it doesn't look forced anymore.