#trying to make amends methinks

[jesse-cosay]

Honestly, for a car idea, now I can’t stop picturing there being some play on words with the phrase “smart cookie.” Like maybe a school or laboratory themed car with pastry denizens, and the famous Summa Cum Laude/head scientist is some sort of cookie. That, and or a car where that used to be the case, but they either got burnt out “gifted kid” style or went through an identity crisis and mental breakdown from something involving prior passengers/the nature of the puzzle of their car challenging the concept of them being ‘a smart cookie.’

Alternately, an inverted aquarium car where the entrance door dumps you into a zoo enclosure pit, and there are giant windows separating you from a ‘watery outside world’ where gawking aquatic species denizens want to take candid pictures of passengers for their family vacation to the Zoo before you can leave.

Could be some fun stuff there methinks.

I've seen a lot of stuff using fish or aquariums for cars, I think, so I did a spin on it to make it a zoo. I didn't actually finish this one bc I forgot what I wanted the ending to be, but I hope y'all can still enjoy it!

(I didn't have any ideas for the Smart Cookie car but it's SUCH a cool concept, I hope I or someone else uses it in the future)

The sign read no photography and MT figured it was about all the luck they would get. Jesse entered the car first to make sure it was safe, per usual. Only to find an empty zoo exhibit in which Jesse was the animal on display. Curious, MT had followed him and Alan right after. The door had closed behind them too quickly for either of them to backtrack.

In no less than five minutes even MT realized that their was no winning with this car. It sucked. Clearly the denizens lacked complete respect for the rules of their own car. And every new animal left MT more on edge than the last!

After hours of wandering in circles looking for any sign of an exit, they'd eventually decided a break was in order.

A pair of giraffes cooed at them from the other side of the cage, trying to lean through the bars and get their attention. One of them reached into its coat, glancing around to see if anyone else was looking. The only other creature was a hippo that was half asleep.

“What are they doing?" Jesse squinted. Sitting in the middle of the exhibit left him too far away to make out the details. It whipped out a camera, snapping a few quick pictures before stuffing it back into its pocket as if nothing had happened.

"Hey!" He pointed an accusatory finger, gesturing at the sign that MT had noted upon first entering. "It says no pictures!"

MT shuffled behind him, a bundle of anxious energy. They had been quiet after their initial reaction to the car. There was a small stream in the enclosure, but it was tiny and off to the side. It posed no real threat. That hadn't eased their nerves in the slightest.

MT crossed their arms and came to stand by Jesse's side before shooting a glare at the sneaky photographer. "I'm breaking that camera on my way out.”

Unbothered by their threats the other giraffe pulled out their own camera, taking their sweet time to take pictures of the two of them.

Frustrated, MT stomped towards them. Being sure to make good on their words. "I did not escape the mirror world just to get trapped in some cage like an animal!"

"No offense Alan!" Jesse amended delicately. The deer was grazing near the stream, completely unperturbed by the scene.

MT’s fist brushed against the metal of their enclosure, an electric jolt arcing from the metal into them painfully. They stumbled back from it, nearly crumbling to their knees as they clutched the sore spot. Jesse ran to their side, placing his hands hesitantly on their shoulder in an attempt to help. "Are you okay?"

They waited to respond, their vision still wobbly and bright from the shock. They shook their hand out, as if to dispel any remaining electricity as they settled back into themselves. "I'm just- tired."

Intrigued by the sudden commotion the giraffes took a whole slew of pictures, babbling to one another. MT growled. If they couldn't punch them then they'd find another way. Picking up a fist sized rock they launched it at the two instead.

The rock fared better than their hand, sailing through the cage and almost nipping one in the shoulder. Disgruntled, they put their cameras away.

MT's eyes never left the giraffes as they finally started to make their way to some other exhibit that this makeshift zoo must have had to offer. They was more than relieved to watch them go, but they knew more would take their place in time.

At last, true to their words, MT sank into Jesse's side. Resting a good amount of their weight on him. It wasn't entirely unusual. They knew they'd been getting handsier and handsier with every passing car. They could only hope he didn't mind- well. MT knew he didn't. Jesse leaned into every touch like he was starved, but MT couldn't help the way it made their stomach squirm. It was all so new to them. Everything was new to them.

As sweet as it was to stay pressed into Jesse's side, hiding against his shoulder for some sense of privacy, it couldn't last. MT was heavy. No amount of swim practice was going to keep him upright as they sagged into him, as much as they was loathsome to move.

"Do you wanna sit down?"

MT had the decency not to point out how out of breath he sounded.

Jesse shifted, moving deeper into the enclosure. Alan Dracula trotted behind them as if to keep an eye on his two fawns. His hand was feather light against their wrist, but he never broke the contact. MT was thankful for it.

There wasn't much peace and quiet to be had in this car. No cave or burrow to hide in. Even here they were still clearly visible to passing denizens. "Is this okay?"

Taking in their surroundings, MT sighed. "Yeah, this will have to do."

"Just close your eyes," He prompted, making space so that they could sit beside him.

MT blatantly ignored the extra room, and made theirself at home lined up next to him, shoulder to ankle. Jesse always felt so warm, it drew MT into him. Clicking together like two magnets. Jesse shivered, but if MT's metal skin bugged him, he didn't say anything.

They did close their eyes. Forehead lulling familiarly into the crook of Jesse's neck. They wiggled their nose as his hair tickled their face.

MT had never sat so close to him- or anyone. It sapped their energy in a way that was oddly pleasant. They didn't know how to explain it, but his presence left them pliant in a way they never could be when they'd been exploring on their own. If anything they should have been so hyperly aware of every point of contact that they couldn't bear to sleep at all. They found themselves drifting off either way.

Jesse rested his head atop MT's. Wiggling his arm to wrap it around their waist to keep their dead weight propped against him.

Alan Dracula sniffled at them curiously before snorting softly. As he laid behind the two of them, it became impossible to stay awake. Sleep had never come easily with danger lurking just behind every door. Even this car wasn't ideal. But they had each other. And they were as safe as they could be. It was enough.

[vntako]

mixed miscellanea: under 30 minutes

short thoughts on ripples, negaeba, liar liar

"ripples" is—as its author describes—the beginning of a journey. it's only like, 10-ish minutes long, and it's free

sakevisual: Ripples

i find the story behind this vn helps reinforce its message. the story of a person deciding to make something for their friend to cheer them up is a bit cheesy i think, and an action with so much sincerity behind it. and ripples is very sincere about its message. the protag is a big jerk, but he meets a girl who shows him the sincerity in people. how like, people can be so wholeheartedly and so unashamedly honest in what they believe in.

i tend to like these kinds of stories where the characters act as mouthpieces for clashing philosophies. it's probably the whole dialogue aspect of it. talking to each other, hearing each other out, discussing, changing. i like to believe i can change the world, but a part of me vehemently denies that. mm. well, whether or not it's true, i don't think it's too hard to see that we make ripples (wao) in each other's lives no matter what we do

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"from the bottom of the heart" (negaeba kitto...) is a short story, shorter than ripples up there, this one is even less than 10 minutes

al|together 2008 "CROSS THE RUBICON" official website (insani.org)

it was translated along with a few other vns in al|together (i believe the first translation for narcissu was released in an earlier al|together, so the project is very dear to my heart). you can find downloads for this one and others in the link above. i don't actually have much to say about this one, it has a nice soundtrack, and i do agree with the author's sentiment in the Read Me.txt

sometimes a story is just a story, and not anything groundbreaking. this one tackles themes of regret and redemption. i feel a few elements were underused, such as the protagonist and the love interest having the same illness and being admitted at the same time that seems to set up for something more than what we got.

i can appreciate negaeba in that it's a story about weakness, i think. or something adjacent to that, probably? weakness and wanting to make amends, is perhaps a bit more precise. the story ends abruptly, and while i do think it certainly works as an ending to a story, i was left a bit unsatisfied with this one.

ooh, i will say i quite like the music in this one, though.

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"liar liar" is a short game made in 5 days. the author describes it as a test for technical code stuff exploding into smth else

Liar Liar by tokimekiwaku (itch.io)

a compelling plot is understandably not the main goal of this vn. despite that i found it kinda compelling. got the good ending on my first try and i thought the sequence of events was engaging enough. i find the art direction appealing too, it's super cute. went and did the other endings after too.

i wanted to play this a few years back in high school but never really got around to it for some reason. i had more fun with this than i expected ngl.

i didn't expect it to but you can look at this as a sorta women empowerment kinda story i think. both girls in the story are screwed over by guys in diff ways (cheating, stalking) and they exact their revenge upon them and the system by killing 'em. idk. it's something like that methinks.

vague spoilers for good ending here

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the good ending tells us that having a support system is a good thing and knowing you having someone to be there for you helps keep you safe. or smth like that.

[narwhalandchill]

thank u for the addition! but ehhhhhhh im sorry i really dont see this transactional + desperation aspect u speak of personally so agree to disagree more than anything n i have my own view of why his relationships to people are like That

firstly im not rly sure where this widespread idea of childe being someone desperate for other peoples approval seems to be coming from but canon-wise thats... not really the case to me. its never been. he has always been consistently confident and self-assured to the point where lore in things like his boss drops and profile alike make a point of repeatedly emphasizing the extent of his arrogance and ego. this isnt a desperate individual (i wouldnt rly call nor consider him a narcissist but lets say hes Way closer to that than some anxious wreck), so like, that motivation doesnt track for me. he Likes approval and praise and attention yes he loves that shit (attention whore <3) but hes not dependent on it. he knows who he is and what he wants.

secondly. on the specific relationships.

with teucer; i dont really think childes exactly unaware of the unsustainable nature of his lies - idt hes really called attention to it explicitly so far, but the continued theme of promises and taking responsibility for those of them broken in his SQ and how he is generally way more self-aware of the contradictory nature and relationship between all the different sides of himself - despite all being true to who he is obvi - than ppl give him credit for (the self admitted "kind of a bad guy" and things like "even good guys lie and manipulate at times… and bad guys have their own doubts and misgivings", for a few) arent rly. giving me oh hes completely clueless on what hes doing. he calls it defending childhood dreams; i think he knows teucer will grow up eventually; he himself did, after all. now i obviously do think theres that selfish and prideful element to how much he wants to Keep being that perfect big brother but again. i think the motivation has nothing to do with transactions, its just abt having a familial dynamic untainted by The Ajax 14 Incident and trying to preserve the purity of that perception as long as he can despite how shitty it is for teucer and the best way he knows to construct that relationship is through the high effort Perfect Big Brother & Loyal Knight (TM) persona, same way he wears any of his facets as a mask for any particular opera stage that asks for it.

as with his parents, methinks the tension slash possible painful history there goes way too deep for anything in that relationship in particular to be generalized for childes overall social dynamics. i think him sending them things is at most a way of taking care of his family without ruffling feathers at home bc again, the self-awareness thing - id assume childe in his 20s knows he was out of control and in the wrong back then at 14 (altho while not a fan of taking that fanon trauma angle at all for what was behind that ordeal. i also dont rly blame him for being unable to acclimate back to teyvat post 3 months in abyss w 0 support either; even skirk an actual adult avoids the surface bc of that reason aka adjustment difficulties lmao and he was just a teen with no proper outlet before the fatui gave him one), and understands the damage cannot be undone. and because nobody wants to talk and open those wounds, he substitutes for actions instead for amends and olive branches.

the tsaritsa is just. not sth i see at all. again. childes attitude towards the tsaritsa isnt one of a revered deity whose godly approval hes desperate for at all - he respects her for one reason and one reason only and its that shes a fellow warrior. and one who by serving he can continue accessing the stronger enemies and challenges he needs to reach his ambitions. like i do think theres a more transactional element to his loyalty to the fatui in general than most ppl do (like. i can fairly easily see him not backstabbing rly but ditching the fatui if either of those clauses falls; so 1) tsaritsa loses his respect or 2) he overtakes the fatui in power and they no longer provide him a way to pursue his goals. or 3) they mess w his family lmao its so funny when ppl speculate on this not considering how it might backfire on the fatui lol) but thats exactly bc he is Not desperate for a gods approval just for the sake of it. like yes, loyalty and keeping promises is a big thing for childe and he v much takes pride in his duties as a harbinger and practically feeds his overgrown ego an exclusive high calorie diet of good-at-my-job juice. but a man that is explicitly out there to grind the thrones of the divine to dust under his heel is not someone id consider a character thats scared of the tsaritsa tossing him away if hes useless lmaoo like hot take but to me. SHE has more to worry about HIM ditching HER lets just. say that 💀💀

also. the human weapon thing rly gets overblown im sorry. childe puts IMMENSE emphasis on staying alive to see the end of his journey as the most important thing. he talks about it constantly. he is not unaware of the risks he takes and the dangers that come with his path - thats why he makes such a point of the value of life (curiously also sth he shares with skirk; did he get it from her?) irregardless of the outcome of a battle. he knows his life could get him killed and is staunchly committed to Not Doing That. like this is just very clearly established in lore. ppl see him as suicidal or self-destructive and its like nope. he takes risks yes and is both reckless and overconfident at times but theres a very clear line for. what he knows he can and cannot survive and his will to live things through is one of those very pointed characteristics unique to childe that tend to be forgotten in favor of more fanon trope aligned interpretations aka Having A Death Wish or not realizing the risks he takes

(altho editing to add in here that yes could be argued that he lacks a plan for an actual long term future; he has a voiceline abt overthrowing the world and then dueling us to the death implying hes kinda just not considering a life past the point of fulfilling that grand ambition but also. he brings it up himself hes clearly self aware there)

then zhongli; again i think its reading a bit too deep into it, esp since the whole sugar daddy thing as funny as i find the dynamic myself as well is sth fandom has rly made a bigger deal than it arguably ever was in canon lmao. childes a very generous person to begin with and also had an additional ulterior motive for tying the fatuis finances into his "working" (business dinner inappropriate flirting into what-are-we into YOURE WHAT (fucking fight me) etc etc etc chili my dearest) relationship with zhongli as a way to add potential strings to pull with the wangsheng funeral parlor. so like there was already a strategic aspect to that. but also like. i just think hes a filthy rich guy who isnt that invested in the elitism of that position that enjoys the company of a person who tends not to think about the cost aspect of his many hobbies and happens to Somehow be strangely unfazed by ajax' general existence unlike most ppl. so its like. i dont think its that deep. they hang out, zhongli forgor the mora and ajax has more than enough to spare and far too little care not to throw that mora around like its confetti

now. what to me feels like a more prevalent theme in the dynamics you mentioned and that i can 100% agree with is that childe puts a great emphasis on the value of actions. as ways of representing his promises and ties to others as opposed to anything more abstract. you say he needs to be useful to other people to be allowed to be around them, as stated before, i dont really agree with the desperation element there, but i do agree being able to provide acts of service and be competent and helpful is a big aspect of and v important to his character but its just the desperation thats not rly sth i see. its about his own capability to do those things for others that means a lot to him. in terms of pride and ego and how he views himself. thats really the only thing. making and keeping a promise is an action. taking responsibility for breaking it is one too. loyalty is more of a nebulous concept (hence his self-admitted ambivalence towards such things in labyrinth warriors act II that ppl still think isnt canon text bc it goes against popular fanon where hes just Loyal period and not with a abyss shrimp colored asterix lol) but fulfilling his tasks and excelling at what he is asked to do are actions that center him and make his actions as the defining cornerstore of his relationships to others. like that to me is the central theme of all those relationships and its also why with skirk that element is absent: he knows that within the only domain their relationship takes (martial master & disciple) he is by definition the one with jack shit to offer other than following her guidance and trying to improve. she has already defined their relationship as one where this usual dynamic of his actions isnt as central. but bc ofc he would hes also Still trying to impress her thru his actions and it shows in the way hes desperate (like. unironically. THATS desperation for approval to me like childe has Such a Please Notice My Efforts I Worked So Hard on This PLEASE energy towards HER that he rly has for no one else JKWDJKJKWDJKD puppy crush at 14 moment hes so cute. tsaritsa megafan ajax? nah its all skirk. like her approval actually matters to him So Much you can see it) to see her again and challenge her to use both hands to defeat him the next time. like the reason skirk doesnt fit the 'pattern' is bc they just have a different dynamic and one that was formed before his current (insufferable) self and attitude was fully formed and he became the kind of person hes these days. like it has the remnants of baby ajax there before he killed his old self and picked the bones clean to remake himself into a warrior

and like this was partially in the og post wrt teucer already but overall i think the very like. grandiose nature of the roles he seeks to occupy in his relationships isnt a sign of desperation or thinking any less wouldnt be enough for ppl to tolerate him around but instead a reflection of his perfectionism, drive and ambition as well as his massive fucking ego. he doesnt want to be a Perfect Brother (TM) or at least the idea of it in his head (which can be a source of dubious judgements to begin w) bc he thinks only that is enough, he wants to be that bc he wants to excel at everything he does and put his all into it. hes not content with being average he MUST be the best and work towards being the best. being Just A Harbinger (like that by itself isnt a frightening achievement at his age already) that does his job as he should is too lowly of a bar when he always always demands more from himself to keep improving. so he strives to be a lethal weapon of war for the tsaritsa that commits to his duties with surgical precision. and so on. its not that he Has to be such an overachiever but that he Wants to be. he Wants to surpass his own limits every step of the way and watch the boundaries expand in front of him as he proceeds onwards on his path (lab warriors act III)

and as much as all this analysis stands i also think hes kinda just. a practical fairly straightforward guy by the end of it. and letting his actions speak for him is just a part of how he rolls imo like showing commitment by putting effort in a relationship through his actions is just a characterization thing. its easier to act to him than to do anything else, and slotting into a specific Role within a dynamic like the Loyal Knight Brother or Weapon of War just lets him allocate and manage which parts of himself he involves in any specific relationship

(also. its an inch resting quote unquote "loophole" to me that lowkey if u think abt it. foil hat on. he is loyal to the tsaritsa As her weapon of war. as tartaglia the 11th. as that particular mask that character. but thats also v much not All That He Is. so like. if u think abt it. isnt there also plenty of sides/roles of him that technically have never sworn that allegiance to her 🤔 hmm)

but yeah this got long jwdjkwdjkwjkdjkdjkdjkwd im afraid i couldnt rly agree with the central point ur making there but. theres v much interesting stuff to look at with childes relationships for sure & and this is just my very quick rambles on some of it. not very coherent but just stuff ive thought abt For A Long While wjkdjkwdjk

spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol

like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?

like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao

like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀

like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk

like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable

like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao

like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀

Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you

AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .

(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)

like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.

but then theres teucer.

And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All

Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????

yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....

like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.

like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up

hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭

A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap

[ramp-it-up]

Definitely, Possibly

#Rampitup1Kinktober Day 5

​​Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Actress!Reader

Summary: You hated Daveed, but you loved what he did with his hands.

1Kinktober Kink: Hand kink

Word Count 1.4k

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. SMUT! Read at your own risk, angst, intoxication, dirty talk, manual sex, cuming in a closet. Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

For more context read Definitely Not, and Definitely, Maybe

A/N: This is for the 5th DAY of #rampitup1Kinktober! TYSM for following me! 🧡

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Prev Part: Definitely, Maybe

Daveed pulled you back into the closet in your master bedroom, hand clamped around your mouth so you wouldn’t yelp. His sandalwood smell was all up in your nostrils, along with the lavender hand soap in your bathroom.

“Shhhhhhh. I just wanted to talk to you alone.”

Daveed held you against his chest, one hand on your mouth and the other at your waist, holding you to him.

You elbowed him and he released you. You turned around and stared him down. You could tell that he was lit.

“How did you get into my closet, Diggs?”

It was your birthday, and since you were filming in your hometown of Atlanta, you invited the cast to your house to celebrate. The cast included Diggs, so you couldn’t not invite him, even though you two didn’t get along.

“Yo! It’s your birthday and allat, and I just wanted to make amends. Came in here for my jacket, used the head. You don’t mind do ya? You look hella angry.”

He was talking with his hands, and if you liked anything about Daveed, it was his hands. You couldn’t be mad at him, he was loose and so much less uptight like this. If only he was like this more often…

“It’s fine, D.” You grabbed his hand. “Go on back out there and….” Daveed jerked his hand and brought you to him again.

“I like being close to you.”

Daveed put his hand around your throat. It wasn’t menacing. You actually felt safe with his long fingers around you.

“You like it too, I can feel your pulse. It’s racing.”

The alcohol gave him the courage that he didn’t have on set. Alcohol lowered his inhibitions and put away his shyness.

Your eyes glinted at him.

“Could that be because you’re choking me?”

You held in a chuckle. You weren’t scared. Just the opposite in fact.

Daveed grinned, almost blinding you.

“Yeah. Maybe. Have you dreamed about me choking you?”

He looked quizzically at you.

“Because I’ve dreamed lots of dreams about you.”

You gulped and Daveed grinned again.

“What are you trying to do? What if I scream? That wouldn’t be a good look.”

You two heard the music and laughter from the living room, kitchen area. The party was lit.

“Then try not to scream.”

Daveed put another hand on your back, bending you to him as he slid his hand down your throat to your collarbone. You felt his his thickness through his jeans. This was new.

You smiled at him.

“So it’s true. You want me too?”

Daveed’s long finger traced your face from your forehead to your chin and back up to your lips. It rested there and you opened your mouth, took it in, and bit it.

Daveed drew back and stuck it in his own mouth, laughing. Those lips were everything.

“I knew you were a wildcat. Does that mean that you want me to unhand you, or that you’d like it rough?”

“Like what rough, Diggs? I never said I wanted you.”

You didn’t make a move to get out of his grip. Your nipples were hard and your cunt was starting to drip.

“You’re right, in fact, you’ve screamed that you hated me all over the set, and on every location in the city. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

Daveed was at it again, now with his other hand, grabbing your dress from behind and inching it up. You didn’t stop him. You were interested in where this was going.

“What does that mean?”

The way he was switching up from slang to Shakespeare was wild.

“Well, it means that the reason that you hate me is that I haven’t made you cum yet.”

“What makes you think that I need you to do that?”

“Oh, you don’t, you have that magic bullet and the wand.”

You gasped as you realized that he rifled through your drawers.

“But I think you want a real live human being whose initials are the triple D….”

Daveed’s hand was on your bare ass now. the fact that you chose to wear a thong either a blessing or a curse right now. He grabbed a handful of ass and squeezed, long fingers in your crease and discovering your wetness.

“Daveed Dumbass Diggs? I knew it.”

You laughed. You wanted to see where this went. You might regret it in the morning, but alcohol had you loose too.

That grin spread across his face again.

“You know what my middle name is, girl. I know you’ve googled me.”

He squeezed again.

“And you’re trying to distract me from the fact that you are dripping wet.”

Daveed dug your thong out of your ass and pulled it, causing it to go between your folds. You whimpered at the stimulation.

“You like that? Yeah?”

You nodded, tired of fronting.

Daveed’s hand reached down and around your ass to find your clit and your wet hole. He fingered your cunt and your clit, his pinky ghosting over your puckered hole as well.

“Damn, you’re good with your hands,” you whispered as he finger fucked you to within an inch of your life.

He was lifting you off the ground with one hand in your crevices and one hand on your neck.

“I asked if you like that?”

Daveed’s voice was a little menacing and that made you wet. He leaned down and licked your neck. At the same time he shifted his hand around and went down the front of your panties, getting a better angle to fully manipulate your clit and pussy.

“Fuck, Daveed, Fuck!”

Daveed watched you as your eyes glazed over and your eyes rolled back into your head. He drew his hand out of your panties, licked his fingers, and put them back in, flicking your clit with a mixture of your fluids and his saliva.

“You wanna fuck? Oh. I don’t know about that. I’m gonna get you off right here though. Unless you want to beg for it?”

His voice was everything. You could listen to those deep melodies all night. But you would be damned if you begged him for anything.

Your beautiful eyes glinted at him. That’s what he loved about you. Your fire. He had to tamp it down a bit for you to realize what was going on between you. This was step one.

Daveed squeezed your neck and curled his long fingers at the same time, finding that magic spot inside you that made you almost scream.

He moved his hand from your neck to your mouth and that somehow was even sexier to you. You came on the heel of his hand, rocking back and forth on it, as you were practically sitting on it.

You allowed yourself some noise, knowing that his hand would muffle most of the sound. There was comfort and pleasure in that.

When you had come down from your high, Daveed set you down, fixed your panties, and straigtened your dress.

“Forgot to tell you that you look nice tonight. I like your dress, your hair, your eyes.”

His eyes scanned your countenance and you felt seen.

Daveed leaned close and you closed your eyes, ready for the kiss. Instead he whispered in your ear.

“All you gotta do is ask for what you want. Happy Birthday.”

You rocked back on your heels as Daveed moved past you out of the closet. You opened your eyes.

“You’ll be waiting a long time, Daveed. ‘Cause I fucking hate you!”

You yelled it at his back as he exited your room, not caring if anyone heard. They would all think it was just another Tuesday.

You would never ask Daveed Diggs for anything but your check. Definitely nothing else.

“Shit,” you said to yourself as you rejoined your guests at the party.

Daveed had you fucked up. And in less than 10 minutes.

You watched him drink his drink and then lick his fingers, ostensibly of liquor, but you knew that he was licking you off of them. Your pussy pulsed again. And he looked at you like he knew that.

You stared at him staring at you from across the room.

Maybe he could be of service to you on your birthday instead of your wand.

Possibly.

Let me know.

Next part: Definitely, Yes

Tags:

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[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I hope to God that the Gonald Lump decides to defend himself in the impeachment trial. He HAS to show up, he can’t just sit this one out, he will be subpoenaed and he can be held in contempt if he refuses to comply. This man is pathologically incapable of telling the truth, so he is all but guaranteed to perjure himself; every last one of his lawyers have jumped ship because he won’t listen to them. They want to argue that trying a former president is unconstitutional (it’s not), but he insists that they instead argue that the election was stolen. That’s his preferred defense; he wants to ADMIT that he incited the violence, but it’s totally okay because he actually won in November so he was just trying to right some wrongs.

Like, holy shit, he can’t possibly be that stupid, can he? Does he legitimately believe it? Oh, all this time I thought it was an act! Republicans are going to acquit him either way, but if he lies under oath then he’s on the hook for perjury, a federal crime! He’s a private citizen now, he has no criminal immunity, the justice department and the judicial branch won’t protect him anymore. This is the bed he’s made, and he’s finally gonna have to sleep in it. On top of all this, the Southern District of New York has been building a case against him for years, and he was counting on winning re-election to run out the clock; the statute of limitations for his crimes on the campaign trail run out this year or next, but if he were still in office then he couldn’t be charged. Now that he’s out, he’s culpable. A bunch of his co-conspirators went to jail for those campaign crimes, and he pardoned a bunch of them, so they’ve waived their 5th amendment rights and can be compelled to testify; they either rat him out or commit perjury and go right back to jail. The justice system has him dead to fuckin rights! He’s in a shit snare, and the only way out is through. He might be able to dodge some charges, but not all of them, he’s not nearly competent enough.

2021 is gonna be a beautiful shit show, and perhaps the most satisfying part of all of this is that Merrick Garland will have jurisdiction over him and his entire crime family. Garland, who would be a Supreme Court justice were it not for Bitch McMoscow and the Gonad Lump; this is poetic justice. This is the sort of shit they’ll make an academy award nominated biopic about in ten or twenty years. The noose is tightening, and methinks a certain ex-president may be taking an extended vacation to one of his properties in Russia this summer. Will daddy Putin protect him, or will he extradite his ass because he already fulfilled his purpose of destabilizing the United States?

This man has never faced a single consequence in his life. It’s about fucking time.

[terriblygrimm]

ohmygod finally someone who shares my views. my sister and I loved fatws for what they did w sam’s character but aside from that the writing was very bad. we really could not understand wtf was bucky’s purpose to the main plot and what new side of bucky did we see. when the action wasnt happening he kept whining about steve and being rude to sam and then marvel thrust sambucky onto us and basically told us to move onto this Brand New Duo. sam and bucky were not on equal footing here and their personal struggles did not hold equal weight at all (i will give credits to anthony and seb here for making their friendship look believable) mcu keeps sidelining bucky and i thought they would do him some justice in this show but they didnt. after reading the articles and interviews post the show it was evident the writers did not understand bucky’s character at all. his whole character development was moving on from steve and now becoming sam’s sidekick? (also im really hoping and praying these writers dont go through with sarahbucky in the future because…no..absolutely not). and i do hope that what you said about a future steve bucky reunion comes true because so far mcu has been very hellbent on erasing their friendship and its just pathetic that they try to undermine their friendship so much, while weirdly enough also emphasizing that yes it has deep emotional value.

yeah like, i’m gonna try to make this as succinct and short (lol) as i possibly can without going off on tangents but tf.atws should’ve been SAM’S show. sam alone. he should’ve been the only title character, and they could’ve properly focused on his arc and the sociopolitical weight of it. that is MORE than enough content to fill up 6 hours. i absolutely love cap!sam and i think he’s gonna be a great captain america. i’m very much looking forward to his future.

but virtually everything else about this show from conception to film was a miss.

the flag smashers? (really marvel? your military propaganda perked its ugly ass head with this one. within the first five minutes of the show they were condemning ppl who believed in a world without borders lmfao. i legit almost stopped watching right then i’m not kidding) and the storyline itself wasn’t even coherent. they had WAY too many characters and arcs to focus on and it just.. didn’t work. didn’t do any one of them justice. not even their title characters - especially their title characers. the whole thing felt very hollow and emotionally remiss. the barely existent dialogue was clunky and awkward, and i’m sorry but.. to me, sam and bucky do not organically get along lol. the chemistry between the actors is undeniable which is why so many ppl ate it up, (and do i think they could eventually get along? yes) but the buddybuddy thing was pretty forced imo. very sudden and based on very little. 

their stories were at odds, with not one common goal between them all the way to the end. they fought for screen time and it caused both of their stories to suffer and not carry the weight they should have. they both had VERY heavy content to work with (a black captain america / a trauma/abuse/pow survivor) but somehow marvel - in true marvel fashion - did not commit to either and tried to tread lightly on both. 

bucky and sam only had the thin thread of steve woven between them & even that was done poorly because the writers themselves admittedly weren’t told what happened to steve, therefore they couldn’t write a definitive arc about it. and instead of actually committing to the deep bond between he and bucky, they took the no homo route and had bucky express anger over who holds property of the shield, rather than admitting it was steve himself that he emotionally and physically missed. but again, they couldn’t really do that, could they? they didn’t know if steve was alive or if bucky knew of his whereabouts. 

i’ll admit i did enjoy the peripheral concept of bucky helping steve pass along the shield, like he was its watcher, making sure steve’s legacy fell in good hands, and was there to basically coach sam along the way. in THAT regard alone, it did feel like he and steve were still a team post-endgame. that, on top of saying that he and steve discussed the future of the shield together was a sweet touch. loved that, but it was executed poorly like everything else.

& his winter soldier arc... lordy, was that handled horribly. bucky is a charming, gentle, burdened, lover-not-a-fighter (since the 40s) victim and they turned him macho, carrying the burden of his abusers and guilted into making amends? and that his problems were his fault because he couldn’t trust people? say what now? bucky is a pissed off, good-hearted war vet with a LOT of baggage- he’s not just some dude. the effort to butch up and patch up bucky in a quick fix was apparent, from the short hair, to the list of names, to the “man up” approach everybody came at him with, to the really out of place heterosexual flirting. i mean honest to god who the has time to flirt? apparently bucky! none of the other characters even passed a sideways glance to another during the entire series aside from the one character who audiences have been vocal about being queer for 10 years. hmmm.... (and then the writers actually CAME OUT & MADE A POINT TO SAY that they did not intend for his bisexuality lmfao i mean please dear god put us out of this misery. that writer/director need to stop talking because nobody cares about their personal opinions or headcanons. media is for the viewer to interpret so please shut up.)

overall the actors did what they could w that script, that much was obvious- and they certainly tried to stay as true to their visions/versions of the characters as they could but it just didn’t end up matching up.

but yeah, on a lighter note, i sincerely don’t think they’ll continue bucky in sam’s sphere. i think that was a one off. i don’t think they actually wanted to sell them as a “new partnership” but they just didn’t know how to write the dynamic properly. i think tf.atws was just a sad, sad attempt to place them somewhere post-endgame so they can continue on in bigger marvel films. sam’s got his cap4 and his new team (torres, sharon, walker), and i think i read he’s gonna make an appearance in black panther? which will be sooooo awesome!! 

and bucky? his ending was very open, what with him miraculously “feeling better” yet not quite the white wolf, and not permanent in any place. and on top of that, he was instructed to stay away from wakanda so he can’t make future appearances there, so methinks he and steve will cross paths again as nomad and white wolf for sure (once it’s revealed what steve’s been doing, etc). maybe in space?

the power that holds anon.... i get so excited even thinking about it.

[haledamage]

7: I'll keep you warm

(have some Kira & Tina! Unit Bravo is great, but Tina should get more love too. Though also featuring a bit of Kira/Adam because I wanted to and no one can stop me :P)

“Well, it could be worse.”

“Please. Enlighten me.”

“We could be alone in a big, drafty building with no heat in the middle of a sudden snowstorm.” Despite her cheerful tone, Tina rubbed her hands together and stomped her feet, trying to keep them from going numb from the cold. “At least we have each other.”

Kira crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself as if it would somehow make it warmer. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Ooh!” Tina exclaimed, loud enough that it made Kira jump. “I have an idea! Be right back.”

“Tina, what’re you--” Kira sighed as her friend disappeared into the back room without another word. 

She came back a couple minutes later with her arms full of blankets. “Ta-da!” She laid out one blanket on the floor, sat down on it, and wrapped two more blankets around her shoulders. Then she held her arms out to Kira and waggled her eyebrows. “C’mere, Detective Kingston. I’ll keep you warm.”

“This isn’t very conducive to getting any work done,” Kira grumbled as she sat down in the blanket nest and let Tina hug her close. The combination of layers of blankets and human body heat did a good job of dispelling the worst of the chill.

“You sound like your Commanding Agent,” Tina said slyly as she tucked her head into Kira’s shoulder.

Kira pushed her friend’s pile of brown curly hair out of her face enough to rest her head on top of hers. “Now that’s just rude.” She couldn’t hear Tina’s laughter, but she could feel her shoulders shake from it.

"I wish we had a few more of these, we could build a blanket fort!" Kira grimaced at the idea of someone coming to the station for help and finding the officers on duty stringing blankets up between the desks. Tina didn't seem to notice, and kept talking jovially. "Did you ever do that when you were little? My stepmum would help me build tunnels all through the house, like a blanket labyrinth."

Kira nodded. "Mum would help me string up fairy lights inside, so I could sit in my fort and read."

"Now I'm just picturing your mum," Tina said with a giggle, "in her power suit and heels, crawling into Little Kira's blanket library and somehow still looking like a badass."

"Oh yeah, she's always been like that," Kira said fondly. She could almost see it, Rebecca just home from work, sitting under the dining table with a sheet draped over it, tired but smiling, lit by the soft blue lights as she listened to a very young Kira tell her about the book she was reading, or what happened at school, while very carefully skirting around talking about her own day. "A picture of poise and grace, no matter where."

She shook herself out of her reverie, but Tina was still in her own. Thinking of her stepmother, maybe. Kira had never gotten the chance to meet her, she'd died just before she and Tina met, but Tina spoke highly of her. Kira hugged her friend a little closer and let her take all the time she needed.

"You ever think about how things would be if we'd met when I first moved here? When we were kids?" Tina asked abruptly.

"I don't think you would have liked me," Kira replied after thinking about it for a minute, then quickly amended, "Well, no, that's not quite true. I'm told I'm very likeable. Lots of people like me. Never really had many actual friends, though." She shrugged nonchalantly, unbothered by the relative solitude of her childhood. "Too shy, I guess. Until you. Until Verda. Until…" she stopped, not shocked by the fact that she considered Unit Bravo to be friends, but that she'd put them - all of them - on the same level as Tina and Verda.

Tina heard the rest of the sentence, even if it hadn't been spoken aloud. She lifted her head from Kira's shoulder to turn a sly grin in her direction. "Their introduction wasn't that much different than mine, if you think about it."

“Really?” Kira scoffed, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. “Because when we were introduced I thought 'wow, she's really nice!' and when Mum introduced me to them I thought 'wow, I didn't know migraines came in human form!'”

"You didn't really think that."

"Not about Nate," she said immediately, almost defensively. "He's a genuinely great guy. And Felix was… a lot, but maybe not so terrible. Adam and Mason, though, absolutely."

That sly grin grew dangerously. "My my, how quickly things change."

“Not really.” Now Kira did actually roll her eyes, though to her annoyance she could feel her face get hot as she blushed. “They're both still a complete pain in the arse.”

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

“Ha ha ha,” Kira deadpanned.

“You wanna know what I think?” Tina kept talking without giving her a chance to answer, expression suddenly serious. “I think someday you'll look back and find that the day those vampires crashed their way into your office was the most important day of your life.” There was a moment of thoughtful silence as her words sank in, and then her smile was back. “Well, second most. After the day you met me, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Kira gave Tina’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “I love you, Tina. I hope you know that. No matter what supernatural bullshit I get dragged into, you’ll always be my best friend.”

“I know. I love you too.” Tina leaned her head on her friend’s shoulder again. Quietly, almost hesitantly, she added, “You know you don’t have to feel guilty for enjoying your time with Unit Bravo, right? You can love me and love them too. You don’t have to choose one or the other.”

Kira didn’t respond to that. It was feeling, more and more as the days went by, that she would have to choose. Probably sooner rather than later. And if she was honest with herself, she already knew what her choice would be. She just hoped, when that day came, she’d be able to take Tina with her somehow.

“Your favorite Bravo Boy is here, Kira,” Tina said, interrupting her thoughts with an elbow to her ribs. Kira followed her gaze through the glass front wall of the station, watching the man in question striding confidently through the falling snow, his dark grey coat stark against the blanket of white. “Maybe you should ask him to warm you up instead of me.”

“Tina, it’s not like that.” It sounded like a lie even to her own ears.

“It could be,” she said with a barely stifled giggle. “You never know if you don’t ask.”

Before Kira could reply, Adam walked through the door, purposeful steps slowing to a confused stop at the bundle of police officers in the middle of the room.

She smiled up at him, ignoring the sudden nervous flutter in her stomach and the knowing way Tina looked back and forth between them. “Hi.”

He raised one dark blonde eyebrow, but his face remained otherwise stony and emotionless. “Hello, Detective. Officer Poname. Slow day?”

“Oh, don’t mind us,” Tina said lightly. “Just a couple of cop-sicles.”

For a moment, the station was so quiet you could almost hear the snow falling outside. Then Kira and Tina collapsed into giggles, falling against each other in their little blanket nest. Adam watched them, face blank, but Kira knew him well enough to see the amusement in his icy green eyes.

“Go on.” Tina gave Kira a nudge, still laughing. “I got to cuddle with you all day, now it’s his turn.”

“Tina…” Kira said warningly, though she did start detangling herself from the blankets so she could climb to her feet. She very pointedly didn’t look at Adam; it was safer not to know what expression was on his face.

Tina’s grin was completely unrepentant. “Just send someone by in a few hours to chip me off the floor.”

It was much colder outside of the blankets than it had been before. In the three steps it took to get to her office to grab her bags, Kira was already shivering again.

“Are you all right, Detective?” Adam asked as he followed her, a concerned frown breaking through his stoic mask.

She waved off his concern, very quickly checking her messages to make sure she hadn’t missed anything while she and Tina had been huddling for warmth. She hadn’t. “I’m just cold. It was supposed to be nice today, so I didn’t wear a heavy enough coat. Wasn’t expecting the heat to be out either.” She turned to face Adam in time to see him finish unbuttoning his wool peacoat. Without thinking, she grabbed it by the lapels before he could take it off. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you my coat,” he said, like it should be obvious.

“I’m pretty sure the cold affects you a lot more than it does me, no matter how good you are at hiding it. You don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable for my sake.” She uncurled her hands from their grip on his coat and, without really thinking about it, pressed them flat against his chest, letting his warmth seep into her chilled fingertips. She yanked her hands away when she realised what she was doing, and turned away from him again. “Keep it. I’m fine.”

A warm weight settled over her shoulders and she spun around with a gasp to find Adam right there, pulling his coat firmly around her shoulders. It reminded Kira abruptly of that night on patrol, all those months ago. So much had changed since then, but not the way her heart raced to have him this close, or the heat building in the space between them, or the spark that traveled through her the moment his eyes met hers.

He swallowed hard, as if he was thinking of the same thing. “It’s okay to let others help you sometimes, Detective,” he murmured.

That drew a grin to her face, and she couldn’t resist teasing him a little. “You know what they say about people in glass houses, don’t you, Adam?”

His lips quirked in a small smile. “Perhaps. I am trying.”

“I know.” She slid her hands up the coat until her fingers brushed his. “Thank you.”

He allowed the touch for a few long moments, a softness in his eyes that drew her an unconscious step closer. He studied her face slowly, purposefully, and she could almost feel the weight of his gaze against her skin.

Then he pulled away all at once, walls snapping firmly back in place. “I will wait for you outside.” He turned and stalked away without another word.

Tina sidled up next to her once he was gone, as if she appeared out of nowhere. “Told you so.”

“Sod off.”

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 10

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online. Day 271: Work was dominated by Qfiniti again, including a meeting with Jon and staff from the States, where I found my self taking control to get the next steps in process (and then, Dave Stewart, the SCCM engineer fucked off and put an OOO message on Teams telling me he’s off until Tuesday (it’s Thursday)...and I am off on Monday!) But, I have to say this project does float my boat. Got a text message and then a call from PCH for another laser eye appt this coming Monday at 12.30pm. I mentioned to the lady that phoned that I will have to square it with work (I won’t, but she doesn’t know that) as I can’t afford to lose my job - it just seems the hospital, while under pressue with the admin and the clinic availability - I get it! - just aren’t seeing the issues for the patients. Plus, Peterborough has been declared a Tier 3 from Sunday under the new lockdown scheme, the highest tier. Great...I really want to travel to a highly infected area! managed to find an online booze shop that does Gordon’s and Famous Grouse and will deliver beforee Chrimbo, so I’ve placed the order for dad and Rita’s gift. I spoke with Dad today, he hasn’t heard about his vaccination yet which is a surprise (he’s in the first draft being over 80)

Day 272: Typing on day 273. Work was that manic shit at the end of the dya when I’ve got time off. I am only off on Moday but still had to tie up loose ends, complictaed further by Jon being off next week and Sueanne off this week and the Qfiniti project! In the evening I only mamaged three beers. I ate too much. Plus my sugars were all over the place and way too high! I ordered a torch a couple of days ago (£17), it arrived today. It takes rechargeable batteries or 3 AAAs. Apparently, to get the best performance (i.e. brightness) you need the rechargeable batteries in it, so i charged ‘em. Fucking hell, I’m glad I did - it’s brighter than the sun. It opens up my late walks in winter, for sure.

Day 273: While it was a very late (but sober) night yesterday (gone 4am before lights out) I was up before midday. Usual walking etc. plus gave the bathroom a clean (albeit with wipes, but I did mop the floor - and used the water to also mop the kitchen). Now I am about to stick a pizza in the oven, plus wedges (to have with microwaveable chip shop curry sauce) and watch This Is 40 which is coincidentally on telly tonight - the coincidence being clips of it are on TikTok a lot right now. I am on my second beer and am going to have a smoke right now as well. Lastly for this entry, I have been using my AudioPro speaker today, it pisses me off it’s not WiFi capable but, thru Bt, it does sound fucking good - revisiting James works very well to demonstrate the speaker’s prowess.

Day 274: I have another Paypal a/c. I have been getting emails to my standard gmail account from Paypal saying they are going to charge me £9 for an inactive account which I have been largely ignoring since my paypal a/c has a specific email address. Anyway, I tried to log in, after a password reset and, hey presto, I do have another one, with £35 in it, having just been fleeced of £9 for the aforementioned inactivity, fuckers. It’s registered with the old Market Place address and phone. When I try to transfer the £35 to my card, it wants to confim it’s me by calling the phone, which I can’t amend. Oh, and you can’t contact Paypal direct. Fuck knows what to do! Other than that, usual Sunday, a tad more relaxed since I have tomorrow off, but not that much now I have an eye appointment in Tier 4 Peterborough (it’s been up’d from tier 3)! Up at 1.30 pm (I watched This is 40 and The Guvners last night with lots of beer), feeling worse for wear but, stair climb and a 6 miler acheived!

Day 275: I was at the hospital for 3 hours. The laser clinic didn’t start until 1.30pm so, why my appointment was at 12.20, not even the consultant could understand. 15 minutes of lasering - horrible but I am used to it. It took so long it pretty much fucked my day off up completely. I got a Christmas card from Karen, in the actual post, so, a mail shot. It’s depressing.

Day 276: Back to work and it’s definitely in wind down mode. I’ve decided to compile a list of things I have done this year. It will be on the postive side, such as all the steps I’ve walked and getting an article published about my photography, but it will also include randon facts like getting bitten by a dig twice and not having a haircut. I’ll get it done so I can post in at new year, hopefully be a little inspiring, a little silly and a lot of showing off!

Day 277: Work, again, was quiet. It’s fucking pissing down now, as I type at 21:50, and has been all day. It’s causing havoc and there’s flooding everywhere. I could walk down St. Peter’s Road tonight ‘cos of it (had to go up New Road, Springfield Road, down Latham Road). Soaked a lunhtime and tonight! With a new variant of Coronavirus, France stopped frieght crossing the border. That’s now been resolved but tyeh back log has/is affecting certain food stocks in the shops, of which, fresh veg might affect me for Christams dinner (I plan to do a chicken breast with stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkshire pud and shed loads of veg. I’ll nip to Co-Op tomorrow morning and see what’s vaialble. It’s a half day at work ‘cos of Christmas Eve, so I can nip out somewhere in the car if need be, as ong as the flooding has subsided. Or I could just get shitfaced and have burgers and pizza.

Day 278: Christmas Eve. Sueanne let me finish at 11.00am so, very shortly thereafter, off for a walk I went; it turned out to be a stop/start affair - flooding as the Nene had burst its banks, ended up doing more of a circuit round town. Bumped into Andy Smith (and his son) and, after that, Ash and Denise. Ended up doing just under 11.5km in 2 and a half hours.Knackered! As I type, I have a chilli on the stove, beer on the go, all the veg and chicken breast bought with no shortages, as feared, for tomorrow’s lunch and looking forward to eating. getting drunk, smoking, listening to music, watching telly....all over the next two/three days.

Day 279: I don’t even remember going to bed last night. As a direct result I got out of bed at 2.30pm. I couldn’t even be bothered with Christmas dinner, let alone anything else like exercise. I’m just about to have chilli for dinner (it’s 8.10pm). Watch some telly then try an go to sleep before midnight. No booze! I did talk to dad earlier. Day 280: Typing on day 281. A better, more productive day. Up @11.00am exercise and walk as usual, although the walk was a different route due to flooding. In the evening I could hear ‘storm Bella’ raging, so windy! I cooked a christmas dinner of sorts, chicken breast with Thyme, all the veg, roasted spuds and parsnip, stuffing (a first for me, albeit co-op stuffing mix), Yorkshie and pigs in blankets. It was smashing! A few beers and The Hitman’s Bodyguard, alays a fun watch. A better day, as I say, but I am feeling particular deflated this Christmas. Day 281: Typing on day 282. I realised, about mid afternoon, that Monday (tomorrow) is a bank holiday so no work. It was a great realisation but, also, worrying that it dawned on my like I’m an old person! Nevertheless, a nice long walk - bumped into Baz & Kate and had a nice long chat, then El & Camila, Aaron and Eva for another, shorter chat. I also saw Denise & Ash along the way. Fog video called later in the evening for a chat too (he told me how he fell asleep at the dinner table, fuck he makes me laugh - unwittingly - when I need it most!) A regular social fest! A repeat of last night’s dinner and a few beers - it was a good day albeit I am in a proper low ebb.

Day 282: Up at midday after a 4am-er. A very long walk (1.75 hours) and a hodge podge dinner (remaining chilli, roasted spuds and peppers, steamed cauliflower and runner beans, grated cheese) - it’s nearly ready, I’ll type the review tomorrow. I realise that this is the first time in 21 Christmases that I have at least talked to K. Is that connected to my mood slump? I reckon so. So, as that fact dawned on me, I then considered, should it be the case next Christmas, it will not be the first in along time and, as such, more manageable....fuck knows how I manage to accentuate any little positive but, thank goodness I do. Day 283: Work was a sedate affair today, fuck all to do really. Sueanne is now follwing me on Insta...I shall invetsigate on how to exclude posts to individuals, methinks. Tea, last night, was fucking lovely. More of the same tonight-ish - currently I am roasting spuds, peppers, garlic, chillies, tomatoes - it’ll all go with left over pigs-in-blankets (5) and a burger. I’ll have bisto beef with mustard on it. I can’t wait! Day 284: Typing on day 285. That meal was fucking lush! Checked on the car todfay and it would not start. Something is draining the battery so I will have to give it a run every day until I can get Julian to sort it. So, I WhatsApp’d Karen to borrow the portable starter. She dropped it off for me. We had the briefest of chats at the doorstep, first time we’ve spoken in weeks. She mentioned my hair! Day 285: NYE. I have just got back from walking to Cottersock and back. I would not have been able to do so without my new torch! I finished and published my double letter quiz on FB, including to the Virtual Pub group and the Oundle Chatter. It’s had some good feedback, I’m rather proud of it. I am going to make chicken casserole now (with dumplings - a first for me, I even bought some flour), have some beers and get a bit stoned. Before that, I am going to finish off my list of things I’ve done this year, including steps wlaked and hours listening on Spotify. I am quite proud of that list too.

Day 286: I fucked the dumplings up, added too much water, so that didn’t happen but the chicken casserole was good, just about to finish it for tea tonight. I also had pizza last night and went to bed at 5am. I have had a lot of good feedback on my list of 2020 achievements. I proud of it. K sent a happy new WhatsApp last night, around 00.30.

Day 287: No booze last night, so I was up before the alarm today (about 10.00am) Two walks, one on my own, another with Fog with a couple of beers. I fucking loved it! Watching datrts (World champs semi finals - been texting Dan while the first one has been on). Going to watch The Aviator later...I’ve not seen it before which surprises me. Why it surprises me I do not know, since I know I haven’t seen it. How the fuck can I be surprised by a fact I’m completely aware of? Day 288: I didn’t watch The Aviator ‘cos Logan Luck was on at 11:55pm on ITV4. Great fildm...I can’t believe that I very nearly paid for it (rent from Sky or Amazon). A late one last night and quite pissed. Thinking about it, having afew beers with Fog in the afternoon made it quite a long sesh for me! Up at just gone midday today, nice long walk (Cotterstock) which was mde long by a painful right ankle - I must have turned or twiested slightly sometime. Still, it survived. Back to work tomorrow - Chrimbo and New Year all done and dusted for the 55th time in my life!

Day 289: First day back at work of 2021. Boris announces another full lockdown in England (there’s a new strain of Covid19 which is seeing huge numbers of infections every day, over 50,000 per day).

Day 290: Something is up with my right foot, the little toe pad. It’s bloody sore. If it gets any worse it’ll affect my walking and exercise. I phoned Anne Bennison to talk about it, she just wants me to go and see her which i donlt want to do if poss, pandemic and all that.

Day 291: Wearing my sandals instead of the M&S slippers and my foot/toepad is already feeling bteer. However, I did inspect my Merrell boots, just in case, and the sole on te right is really worn down, in just three months. I have sent a WhatsApp to CotswoldOutdoors, where I got them from....let’s see what they say! It’s all kicking off i  the US - pro Trump protestors have storm the Capitol Building, where congrees was being held. Only in ‘Merica.

Day 292: Busy at work with rolling out Qfiniti - all that project work was pretty much for fuck all since the SCCM package has to hand held. It’s feckin’ freezing today, below freezing, slippy af on my walks. I have been shopping tonight, £106 in Corby Tesco. That does include 8 cans of sapporo.

Day 293: The fracas at Capitol Hill on Wednesday left 5 dead, it looks like Trump will be impeached. He’s already said he’ll not attend Biden’s inauguration. In a fucking world gone mad, it’s another level of madness. It’s really cold -3℃ tonight, more of the same tomorrow. Makes for brisk walks. I’ve just had chicken balti pie and chips for tea. It was so nice that I burnt the roof of my fucking gob. I’m on the Sapporo and about to have a smoke then watch Jack Reacher. I’ve (kinda) earnt after the first 5 day week for a while.

Day 294: Well, last night saw another late one...5am by the time I :went to sleep. Up at 2pm today with no instention of any exercise or walking or housework or fuck all, really. But, I did my exercises and a 9 mile walk. While I walked I came across Banners, quick 15 min chat and listed to Stage by David Bowie. He’s all over the radio right now as it’s his death’s anniversary tomorrow and his birthday yesterday. It’s a fucking good live album. A few beers tonight, eating trash, watching FA Cup highlights then End of Watch later.  Posh played today (first time in a while due to Covid infections) drew away to (shitty) Lincoln 1-1. Good point as Posh were down to ten men after 67 mins for a second yellow for handball in the area. Lincoln missed the pen. Fucking funny. Chorley, the non leaguers who knocked Posh out in round 2 of the FA Cup, beat Derby in round 3 today (albeit derby fielded an academy side of 11 first timers due to Covid ) - a great day for them!

Day 295: Up at 2pm swearing blind I’d not walk or exercise (again!) but, of course I did. I’ve done over 25 miles this w/e! End of Watch was brilliant last night. Well worth a rewatch, so emotional. I am making butter chicken as I type. I’ve added extra onion, garlic and, of course, chillies. It’s the spiciest butter chicken I have ever tasted! 

Day 296: One of those frustrating days at work when no problem of request I try to resolve goes without a hitch. After a 7km walk in the evening, took the car for a spin and cleaned the bathroom. Fucking knackered. It’s 11:30pm and I’m in bed typing this on the iPad! despite getting up so late, I feel knackered. 11pm bedtime for me, I reckon.

Day 297: Fucking busy at work, the States rolled out a new Okta trust policy and it caused mayhem. Meant my evening walk didn’t start ‘til gone 6pm. When I got back, clened the hall and stairs, made chilli (which I am about to have for tea (gone 10.15pm!) and showered. I’m, again, fucking knackered! Posh played Portsmouth in the EFL Trophy 3rd round at home. Won 5-1. Nice.

Day 298: Had an electrician rouind for the EICR cetrt. He was here until 2pm and it was a pain in the arse, having to work upstairs plus, with having to cut the electricity, all the smart devices lost their settings. And it was freezing up there.

Day 299: Work was impossibly infuriating. Not one pc remote session went to plan! It was pissing down a lunchtime during my walk but, I have to say, the cheap TargetDry coat copes fine in heavy rain for short periods. Everywhere is flooding again even though the rain turned to sleet. By my evening walk, it was dry but bloody cold. Then, when I got in I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor and the bathroom’s as well. I fucking done in! Chatted to dad today - same as ever!

Day 300: What a fucking work at week! I am so glad it’s Friday. To celebrate, I ordered new walking boots: Scarpas £121!

[360degreesasthecrowflies]

AndromedaWatch 01 - first reaction to the series

So, it’s been a brief break from my Farscape first watch/reaction series (which you can find entries in HERE or HERE), and during the off period, I’ve decided to do something a little different! By chance, I came across another late 90s-early 2000s sci-fi/space opera show I’d never seen before, Andromeda, so I decided to do a first watch reaction to it as well!

Without further ado, here’s my thoughts on Andromeda 1.01 ‘Under The Night’!

1.01 UNDER THE NIGHT

Spaceships! and a written brief intro. Semi conspicuous CG.

A crew! Lots of people. Red and blue uniforms. Antigravity harnesses. Andromeda is the ship and our lead is the captain, fun.

Everyone running about! But seems like it was a drill.

First leads appear to be two white dudes, one with the look of Buffy's Riley, the other Firefly's Mal. Longer haired dude is getting married. As this is the first episode this is probably going to be horribly wrong.

Also, the ship Andromeda has a female voice.

We are far future or maybe just alien; there's robots and lots of tech. We're leaping STRAIGHT into action too! Great opening.

Right, they're off to rescue a ship from a black hole after a distress call and we're less than 5 minutes in. Hyperspace jumping too, gotta get those tropes in.

Side characters we've seen so far include a black technician guy, feminine robot and a smallish green alien guy. Andromeda has hologram avatar too, an Asian woman.

Captain makes the call to try and save as many as possible, evacuation...but they're firing on them! Andromeda says that it must be a trap!

OPENING CREDITS time. There's a voiceover, and now an instrumental futuristicy theme with credits introducing our characters. There's the lead, male-bob-haired Captain Dylan Hunt, a blonde badass lady, dreadlocked black dude, a purple skinned Chiara-looking expy, and some others. Quite a big cast from the off.

Into the episode; now everyone actually IS running to battlestations, no drill this time. They're under assault right away, imperfect shields. They face 10k ships. Second in command guy suggests deploying extreme destructive bombs, but Captain refuses, aww, he's a good guy. (How long will that last?)

Second in command guy (Starscream?) notes that the attackers are his...race? ethnic group? nationality? so, as a precuation, recommends that he and all others aboard of that trait should be locked up just in case. Seems a little odd tbh.

Captain concurs and a bodyguard looking guy does it.

They aren't doing too well in the battle; outnumbered and can't maneuver. Also next to a black hole, they can't do their hyperspace jump again due to gravity pull.

Well, damnnn. 9 minutes in and the black guy dies. Eep. There was an explosion in Control, hull breach apparently. They're still pinned down for the next ten minutes too.

Captain orders that everyone abandons ship on escape pods. Ah, this will be the cast paring down, good, I hope they don't all die. The green alien elects to stay with the Captain in Control and may be female? Androgynous looking and shamefully I assumed it was not female.

Shot of everyone abandoning ship through some appropriately sci-fi +/ 90s style pods and passageways.

Well daaaang. We cut to Starscream and he kills the guards sent with him; a double-bluff! Ask to be locked up so he can get away from the captain and co, and just after offering his congratulations to the captain on his upcoming marriage too. Utter bastard. That's some Kill Bill shit.

He has a plan. Cutting between him and Control, where a female robot has stayed too. Captain decides to go INTO the black hole, fine, okay.

They're not strong enough to fight their way free, they need to use the black hole's gravity to slingshot themselves free... now, I'm not sure when this aired, but that sounds a LOT like the resolution of the first episode of Farscape. I hope this doesn't turn out to be a straight AU rerun.

Bug lady is the pilot. She does seem to ACTUALLY be an alien bug, and I quite like this. I hope she doesn't die. (She probably will, characters I like rarely last long, RIP PK lady lieutenant in Farscape). She speaks a bit of her langauge which Andromeda translates (her avatar's still here), good touch, saying that she's willing to sacrifice and risk herself for the ship's survival.

Oops Andromeda's frozen, avatar dropping out. Power freezing. Starscream is still doing things, Andromeda has noticed now but he blows out the camera. Andromeda is able to alert the captain to sabotage just as Starscream walks in and... yup, bug lady gets (quite graphically) killed, her chest front explodes out when she's shot (or blasted, didn't get a good look at the weapon). Eesh.

Captain spins around to engage. Starscream reveals his people are designed to be perfect. They all live within a Commonwealth, but Starscream's people want to take it over now. There's an issue with the Magog, who seem to be horrible people, who the Commonwealth have made peace with. Starscream's people want instead, revenge.

FIGHTSCENE. Starscream is a bit of a karate boy, this is more phyisical than I anticiapted, not just a shootout. Captain holds his own too though, flipping off a wall in slow-mo, which is revealed to actually be a time distortion, nice nod to the Matrix surely given the time this was made.

The two run back for their blasters and the Captain is hit first, but returns fire as he falls and may hit his opponent more critically.

He runs over to him, possibly saddened, and there's a 'what have you done' moment. Then they all freeze in time, Starscream possibly already dead on the ground, and we cut to the ship, already on course before its power was cut, dipping straight into the black hole.

Cut away. We open on blonde lady from the credits. We;re on another ship now, presumably. Blondie is a Captain too, Captain Valentine. Her coworkers are a wookie-faced dude and an expy of Wash from Firefly and Oz from Buffy in one character. They've found the Andromeda, but it seems a looong time has passed, years at least.

Seems we might have another Starscream situation here as Mr Wookie already is proud that HE - uh, THEY - have found the ship. Not a happy family, methinks.

More new characters! A scabby faced grumpy dude from the credits and purple lady, something bad might be about to happen to Wookie because I didn't see him in those credits and all these characters will be sticking around. Ms Purple has a tail too, because why not, it was the 90s, we didn't have weaboos yet.

So it seems these guys are salvagers - thieves, essentially. Already I can see this potential clash, immoral guys vs Mr straight and narrow. They were after this ship as a prize haul with big cash value and big rewards for them all.

The guy on Team Valentine is very much A Dude, we get it. He wants to spend his money on slave girls! Lovely. Neither Valentine nor Purple are impressed.

Valentine is apparently pretty strongly in debt, so that's what she'll use her share of the money for.

So, I'm slightly reminded of Alien, the original 1979 film now. These guys all work together, but don't seem to particularly LIKE each other and are just in it for the money. I actually quite like that, coming off watching a few shows where everyone ends up bonding unreasonably fast to an unbelievably close level.

Scabface wants to make amends with his share of the money. "Trying to buy absolution" as he puts it. He plans to build a hospital on a world he - or his forbears - killed many people.

Team Valentine are all technicians, nice, another nod to Alien.

So it reveals that Valentine, despite being the captain, was hired by Wookie. He's come along with them for this salvage mission. The Andromeda is stuck in time still, so Valentine will need to retrieve it without getting HER ship stuck in time too.

Valentine wishes to jettison their existing cargo before beginning the operation so the ship is more maneuvarable, but Wookie objects and has to run down to 'check' something in the cargo hold first; second Starscream confirmed. We don't get to see what he does but music cues are shifty af.

OooOoo seems his 'cargo' was people - some of original Starscream's kind of people, it seems, identifiable by their spiked arms, again, a nice visual cue to save them spelling out expository text the way many shows in early episodes find themselves having to do or resorting to. We get a shot of them emerging from fridge-like coffins (or coffin-like fridges, I guess) with THE MOST ominous music.

Right, operation go. Nice parallel right away to the other ship as Valentine intiates the operation with "okay everybody, just like we practiced", given the Andromeda's crew were practising too before the real thing. Valentine so far seems competent, no-nonsense and determined, with a wry sense of humour and strong sense of duty. I would expect nothing less from the female lead.

The irony as well that the Andromeda went to rescue and is now itself being 'rescued'.

So instead of going in, Valentine is very sensibly hooking it and reeling it in with grappling hooks.

Operation seems to be successful until three of the hooks seem to fail. Wookie immediately advocates cutting the cables and letting the Andromeda go, which Valentine laughs off and turns to Purple and Dude to see what solutions they might have.

Despite some of the cables failing, Valentine with Dude's help (focusing the engines into one blast of energy) is able to retrieve the ship and tow it away tractor-style.

Unfortunately, nothing lasts that long, one of the engines starts to fail off the bat. Dude seems to have it under control though.

RIGHT, cut back to the Andromeda. Andromeda's avatar is checking Captain Hunt too. Andromeda is immediately aware they MAY have experienced severe time dilations.

Annnd there it is. They've been frozen for 300 years. That'll be our main drama between Captain and our new characters, makes sense because I was feeling he and Valentine were actually quite similar despite the devil-angel dichotomy. Also... RIP Hunt's wedding, and I guess everyone he knew. That's gotta suck in the worst way. 10/10 for getting me to feel empathy for this guy in under 30 min, show.

Right, Valentine and co are all off to board the ship, leaving Wookie on board their own ship, presumably. Purple is the newest crewmember, it's revealed.

Donning space hazmat suits, they board. Dude appreciates the ship like an art form.

Cut back to Captain and Andromeda. The acting is good here and the music helps. They are in mid crisis given how much the world will have changed, maybe everything they were fighting for has gone. Andromeda detects Valentine and co, intruders!

Oops, it seems Wookie has boarded too, or are they back? (Ships look a little similar). He insists they have a deadline and need to work faster, while Dude maintains it will take weeks to get the ship going (presumably up to their future standards, too).

Valentine's crew split up (with comms) to search the ship for more clues about it and how it works. This will end well.

INTERESTING. So within Valentine's crew we have humans and the evil - in Hunt's time Magog, though, who can say which one of the aliens that is, Dude and Valentine are probably out. Andromeda has started to snoop on them through cameras and other concealed computers and comms and brings them up for Hunt to see.

So seems the Magog is Scabby. Andromeda also notes that Dude seems to be sick - with an easily-curable disease from their time. She wonders at the implications of that, a kind of reversal of progress perhaps? I should take the time to say that I do like Andromeda, despite her roboticy AI nature she has a charm to her and her competence and intelligence and calm are all positives to humanize such a character.

Hunt decides to engage the new team. He comes upon Dude first and calmly engages, quickly overpowering him without needing to fight, and addressing him measuredly.

Oops. So Dude doesn't seem to even be aware of the Commonwealth, three guesses says they lost then?

Nope, there's no High Guard, no Commonwealth, they lost, and not recently - 300 years ago! Possibly even straight after that battle, oooh we're going to have DIRECT angst then, that's an interesting direction and element to give your (presumably?) lead.

Additionally, having Andromeda here to talk to saves us having monologues, thought intrusions, or (the trope I disliked a lot in early Farscape) the lead, fish out of water, near-immediately latching on to someone he's just met and telling them everything about his feelings, using them as a sounding board and emotional support. Because honestly, who takes that from a stranger?

Andromeda and Hunt decide that they will search for remnants of the Commonwealth, even though its 300 years on. Back with Valentine, they are debating what to do. Purple advocates just asking Hunt to give them the ship. Valentine feels he owes them something anyway for pulling it out of the black hole. Scabby feels they don't deserve anything.

Hunt addresses them over comms; an ultimatum, he will not give it up to be looted, so they can leave, or he will bring force upon them. Valentine and co are still aboard Andromeda. They move to engage, then, Valentine doesn't like to be threatened, but Wookie intercedes. He's brought backup, and it's our dreadlocked Saracen warrior from the opening credits, along with a small army of extras, notably, none with the telltale arm spikes that we saw earlier, so what's his game? Was it a double-bluff? And that's where it ends, on a cliffhanger!

--

Well, I have to say, that was actually VERY good, by the standards of the time especially. Some obvious flaws due to tropes and what's become standardized over time passing in between this airing and me first seeing it, but in general, a very well written and acted pilot that established world, plot, tensions, potential tensions, character inter-relationships, and, impressively, seven main characters with an eighth just out of focus, a primary antagonist, and possible secondary antagonist, while also worldbuilding TWO timezones and political setups. Not too shabby for 42 minutes!

Other points; great character design and costumes - though I'm 75% sure there'll be a coincidentally justifiable reason why Purple has to be wearing a sports bra and hotpants and nothing else. Interesting spread of lead characters, two white guys, two women, a female AI, a black guy and a non-humanoid alien, just about what you'd expect from the time. The character archetypes are a nod to others in the genre and broadly into fantasy as well, and sketch out broad strokes for where I can see later characters being sourced from, e.g. the characters from the later Firefly and rebooted Battlestar Galaxica, even the Dr Who reboot which came several years after.

Valentine is, predictably (if you’ve been following my other review series), my favourite off the bat. Andromeda second, Hunt probably third - he's a very typical hero archetype, but convincing. The others come together in a bunch right now, Dude seems to be a Chaotic Neutral, Purple probably a Chaotic Good, and Scabby perhaps a Neutral Good, these are good balance for what may be a Lawful Good and Lawful Neutral lead - although Valentine shows potential to veer into True Neutral territory.

All in all, a great opener. I'll give it an 8/10, really starting strong.

What did you think of the show? Should I keep going? Let me know in comments or reblogs ;)

[jesus-otaku]

Title: Perplexing Feelings (Part 2)

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Implied Ladynoir and Marichat

Word count: 2776

This is part 2 | Part 1 is here!

This is the mini fic I mentioned last night, the companion to Peculiar Familiarity. It covers parts 4-5 of Peculiar Familiarity from Ladybug’s POV. Hope you enjoy, guys! I know the title’s not the best but I tried.

@kwiibi here’s the rest of the scene!

“She needed to shut up. The problem was, her mouth seemed to have disconnected with the rational side of her brain.”

________________________

His princess?

His princess?

His???

Whatever Ladybug had been expecting him to say, it hadn't been that. No, there was far too much intimacy in calling her his princess for her to have expected that in a million years. A friend, sure. His friend, that was fine. But his princess?

Her thought that maybe he liked her as more than a friend grew stronger.

“Your princess?” she echoed, quite unable to help staring at him in shock.

Chat looked for a second time like the end of the world was coming. His hands were fluttering nervously every which way. “Yeah, you know, like…it's kind of like I'm a knight in shining armor, right?” He flexed his arms and shot her a playful grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Protecting the princess from evildoers at night. So I…kind of call her Princess. I mean, I did before, too,” he amended. “When she helped with the Evillustrator. It fit at the time, and it still sort of fits, so it stuck.”

Oh.

Maybe she'd been wrong.

Maybe he really didn't like her as Marinette in that way.

The thought hurt more than she would have expected. She liked Adrien, after all, not Chat Noir, so why on earth should it bother her? Her crush on Adrien was the whole reason she had always avoided responding to Chat's flirtation. And still, the thought that Chat didn't have a crush on Marinette hurt. She managed a bare imitation of a laugh. “Half the girls in Paris would be dying of envy if they knew you called someone Princess,” she remarked.

“Would you happen to be part of that half, my lady?” Chat asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

The action was so characteristically Chat Noir that Ladybug couldn't help laughing again, this time for real. “In your dreams, kitty.” She shot him an amused smile. “Besides, I already have a special name from you. As if I would trade that to share a nickname with someone else.”

For a second, he looked equal parts surprised and flustered, as if he hadn't expected her to say something like that. Then he recovered, and nudged her shoulder gently. “I guess I can keep calling you my lady, in that case. Or do you prefer Bugaboo?”

She nudged him in return, just hard enough to make him tip for a second. “Three guesses,” she replied. “And the first two don't count.”

His smile was positively devilish. “Bugaboo it is, then.”

“Chat!” she protested with a laugh. It was nice, she thought offhandedly, being with him like this, being able to joke like normal. It made her forget for a minute that she might be losing him. She elbowed him playfully. “What should I call you, then? Cat-anova?”

“Was that a cat pun?” He shot her a delighted grin. “I think I'm in love with you even more now.”

Oh, so he could admit he loved her in jest, but ask him to tell her when the mood was serious and he couldn't get out a single word? She stuck her tongue out at him. Sometimes she really had to wonder if he actually liked her, or if he was just being the flirt she was afraid he might be. “It's your fault,” she said. “My brain comes up with these idiotic puns now, and I know that all the blame lies with my stupid kitty cat.”

“You're welcome,” he said, somehow keeping a straight face.

She groaned and flopped back to lie on the roof. “Sometimes, kitty, I just don't know what to do with you.” It was the truth. There were times, like now, when she wanted to hug and strangle him both at once. He could be insanely frustrating at times, but still she wouldn't have traded him for any other partner in the world. It was just hard to know how she was supposed to handle him when he was being so maddening yet endearing.

Chat twisted to glance at her, his eyes catching the light of the city and reflecting greenish gold. Her breath stuck peculiarly in her throat. “You've done pretty well so far just improvising.”

Ladybug snorted at the comment. “Because one spontaneous person in this partnership isn't enough.”

He didn't take his eyes off her as he untwisted his body to face her, crossing his legs. “It keeps things interesting, doesn't it?”

“You're not wrong about that,” she admitted. There was never a dull moment with Chat Noir around. Then, all at once, she remembered that there was something they were supposed to be talking about. The hand-kissing! Between all the joking and teasing, she had completely forgotten that this whole conversation had started because he was going to start kissing Marinette's hand instead. She propped herself up on her elbows. Stupid…! “So, is this … the kind of stuff you talk about with Marinette, too?” It was weak, but it was the only thing she could think of to bring them back on topic.

Chat blinked, obviously confused. He had clearly forgotten their original topic as well. “Huh?”

Stay on topic, stay on topic… She ignored the part of her that wanted to say “forget it,” and waved a hand vaguely. “You know. Just…fooling around like this. Being yourself, instead of hamming it up like you do for an audience.”

He pressed one hand to his chest in an exaggerated parody of offense. “I am always being myself when I have an audience.”

His reaction was so hilariously over-the-top that she had to stifle the laugh that wanted to come out. She ended up snorting instead. “You know what I mean.”

All at once, his clownish drama faded away. He looked almost pained to be back on the subject of Marinette again. Was it really so bad to be talking about her? “We just kind of…talk,” he said. He leaned back on his hands, his gaze wistful. “We do joke around. When we play video games and stuff. It's not the same as you and me fooling around, but…”

“But?” she prompted.

He was practically cringing now. “It feels the same, sometimes,” he admitted. “The way she and I joke around, I mean. So, um…as far as your question goes…sort of? I try to be myself with her. But the way I act with her is never going to be identical to the way I act with you.”

But why is it different? she wanted to demand. She wanted him to admit his true feelings, dammit. Whether it was Ladybug he liked or Marinette. For now, though, she settled for pressing what he had mentioned earlier. “Because she's your princess?”

Chat looked like a deer caught in headlights. She could tell he was kicking himself for ever mentioning that he called her Princess. “That's not it,” he blurted, sounding as if every word were being forced out of him against his will. She couldn't help smiling more at his flustered reaction. “That has nothing to do with it at all. It's just a nickname. It doesn't make a difference. Things would be the same if I called her something else. It's just that Princess happened to fit.”

The kitty doth protest too much, methinks. She rolled onto her side, propping her chin in her hand. “You called her your princess.”

“Only because I'm the only one who calls her that,” he countered.

Oh.

Her smile fell instantly.

She had really thought she'd figured him out this time. Had really thought she was on the verge of getting him to admit how he felt.

But maybe she was wrong, and maybe that tiny stupid part of her that might have wanted him to admit it (which she refused to call a hope) should just have stayed buried where it belonged.

No, she had to pull herself together. This was nothing to mope over.

“So back to the hand-kissing thing,” she said slowly, “why do you want to start kissing her hand instead of mine? Why make the offer?”

“Well…” He paused, casting his gaze upwards in thought. “I guess … part of it is because I know you get sick of it sometimes. Pushing me away by the nose and all that.” She would have liked to stop him right there and correct his misunderstanding, but he kept going before she could say anything. “Marinette, she, um … she said she didn't mind. She actually said she thought it fit pretty well with me calling her Princess. You know, kind of like the knight in shining armor thing I mentioned earlier. A knight kissing his princess' hand and all that.” He gave a little shrug, a crooked smile making its way onto his face. “That's all there is to it.”

Ladybug worried at her bottom lip, unsure how to proceed. Yes, she thought, she had put herself into quite the pickle here. Maybe it would have been better to just say no as Marinette and leave it at that. But no, she'd just had to open her big dumb mouth and tell him what she really thought of it. Now here Chat was, talking about how obviously it would be better for him to kiss Marinette's hand rather than Ladybug's, and if it hadn't been for the fact that she was Marinette she might have told him to just keep kissing only Ladybug's hand. This was nothing short of a nightmare. She looked up at Chat slowly. “I never meant for it to seem like I didn't like it,” she murmured, half hoping he wouldn't hear.

The thunderstruck look that came over his face told her that he had, in fact heard her.

Too late to turn back now. “It's cute,” she managed to blurt out. And once that was out, she couldn't seem to stop herself. “The hand-kissing. It's just…you know, we need to stay focused when there's an akuma,” yes, Marinette, keep telling yourself that's the only reason, “and that was when you first started doing it, was when there were akumas around to fight. So then I just started pushing you away like that to keep us—you!—focused.” Oh, God, that had nearly been a fatal slip of the tongue. She needed to shut up. The problem was, her mouth seemed to have disconnected with the rational side of her brain. “And then you started doing it on patrols, and…well…I just meant to push you away to tease. I—I figured, you know, that was—that was our…our rhythm, our dynamic, so…” She could feel her face heating up, and had never been so grateful for the cover of her mask at nighttime. “It was never meant to actually push you away or anything. Just in good fun. And I'm really sorry if it came across as me wanting you to stop.”

There. It was out. Her stupid mouth had finally stopped talking. Now all she could do was wait for Chat's reaction.

For a moment, he looked like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, visibly perking up. Then, abruptly, he wilted again, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. “So, then, um…About Marinette…what should I tell her?”

Was he assuming that was a no? “Don't you want to kiss her hand?”

“I wouldn't have offered to do it if I didn't,” he reasoned. Then, as if he was horrified at what had just come out of his own mouth, he backpedaled. “I mean, just—she's a friend, you know? Like you are. She's not the same as you—obviously she's not the same as you—but I mean, it's…like you said, right? That it's in good fun.”

Of course he was trying to avoid the real question. She didn't know why she had expected anything different. Chat seemed to want to talk himself in circles when it came to his feelings about Marinette. “I meant,” she said, slowly so as to enunciate every word, “do you want to kiss her hand instead of mine?”

“If you would prefer things that way, my lady,” he replied.

Ladybug resisted the urge to roll her eyes in exasperation and waved off his response. “Forget what I want or don't want for a minute. Do you want to kiss her hand? If you had to pick one of us.”

“'If'?” Chat echoed, latching onto the one word she really hadn't wanted him to latch onto.

Yes, “if,” she wanted to say. Both of us is an option. I'm not going to make you stop kissing my hand, but if you want to kiss my hand when I'm Marinette, too, I'm not going to tell you that you can't do that either. I like both. She fidgeted in embarrassment, twisting her fingers together. No, she couldn't say that. “There's no rule saying you can only do it with one of us and not both,” she pointed out instead. “If it's just in good fun and doesn't mean anything, then…”

He didn't seem to have realized that he could choose both. He stared at her, his mouth hanging open like some sort of goldfish. “You mean…?”

Silly kitty, she thought, not unaffectionately. Was she going to have to spell every little thing out for him tonight? “You don't have to stop kissing my hand if you don't want to,” she confirmed, “and you can kiss Marinette's hand if you want to. I don't have a problem with either.” She looked over at him, almost afraid to hear his reply, but he was still staring at her like he couldn't quite believe what she had just said. Self-consciously, she shifted her weight and made a great show of watching the traffic below them. For some reason, everything he did and said tonight seemed to be having a huge effect on her. But she couldn't let him know that. Not when she didn't even want to be aware of it herself. She was supposed to like Adrien, darn it all, so why was Chat making her heart skip a beat? “If you don't want to have to pick, that is,” she mumbled, not sure what else to say.

The silence that hung over them was deafening. Chat Noir still seemed to be struck dumb by her revelation, but she couldn't think of what else to say. Please, kitty, say something. Anything. Even if it's just “I can't decide that right now.” Just please say something so I can stop feeling like an idiot. He didn't speak, though, and eventually, she decided she might as well just bid him good night and hope for an answer in the future. “You…don't have to decide tonight. I can wait. We should call it a night anyway.” She stood and helped him up. And for once, she willed herself not to pull her hand away the second he was on his feet.

She had to prove she didn't mind him kissing her hand, right?

If she wanted him to choose both, that is.

But some little part of her told her that, even waiting for him to kiss her hand like this, even showing him that she really did like it, he wouldn't choose both. Chat Noir was the fiercely devoted type, and she knew that. His hand kisses were supposed to mean something. He wouldn't turn them into a trifle by kissing what he believed to be two different people's hands. It was a gesture to be reserved only for one person.

The only question was who he would choose.

She could tell he was trying to decide. He looked down at her hand in his, then up at her, and back down at her hand again. She tried to offer him a reassuring smile, to communicate that he didn't have to decide now, but it came out too wistful and bitter to be successful.

I'm losing him.

For one fleeting instant, she thought he was going to kiss her hand. His grip tightened momentarily. But then he just laced their fingers together, and squeezed her hand. He let go all too soon. “Good night, my lady.”

So that was that, then.

I'm losing him.

She made one final attempt at a smile, and didn't succeed any more this time than she had the last time around. So this was the end of the team dynamic she had come to love so much. True, she was happy that he had still chosen her in a sense. But she knew that to Chat, he had just chosen his princess over the girl he called his lady. And that meant that he would never really be Ladybug's “kitty” again.

“Good night, Chat Noir.”

I've lost him.

[zucca101]

"Nazis are leftists" must be the hottest fucking take I've ever heard in my life. And you dare accuse others of living in a fantasy world? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Ahh, a political rhyme-off, is it? Don’t think thee smart, thou nasty twit.

Your claims, they are atrocious and your manner braggadocios.

You challenge one precocious, whose prose is quite ferocious.

Sit your Social Justice backside down, to you I will explain

Let’s talk about the Nazi clowns, and their knack for making pain.

You claim to say they were Leftists true is a lie as sure as sour

But to me it seems reading’s unknown to you, and well beyond your power

My round and gray and sunglassed friend, your words are very hollow

If harsher truths and babes in booths offend, heh, methinks you can unfollow

The Nazis, see, had revelry and their own dark ways of fun

Starting close and disarming folks so no home had a gun

If you’re reading now and disavow the words you plainly see,

the tale moves on to time’s own song as you squat and take your knee

As history knew, they blamed the Jew and sent them to their deaths

“Dehumanize, don’t sympathize, for the Jews are merely pests!”

If by now you’re thinking how this all sounds quite familiar

these words affirmed by prisoners turned, like Private Joe Devillier

The Left today, who stiff winds sway, speak based off of derivatives

Not now the Jew, but now, who knew? The blame is on Conservatives.

“That don’t make sense, no precedence!” by now you’re surely fervent

But Democrats (the REAL fat cats) sent Japs into internment!

Your eyes are glazed, your mind amazed, your body surely reeling

For many aren’t prepared for me, the truth bombs I am dealing.

Progressives would, you bet your good, put righties into death camps

As children cry, they identify by tattooed barcode black stamps

But once again, Window Overton, shifts right along its track

The Left would twist, betray Centrists, and knife them in the back.

You’re bright, I’m sure, and mostly pure. You don’t mean Righties harm.

But your fellow Lefties see your cure, and from it you can’t charm.

They’d tell you you’re not true, they’d invade your privacy too

They’d call you a Righty, haul you out in your nighty and into camp with you

Now my words, like walking birds, I hope you don’t misconstrue

The desperate words, back then unheard, the death cry of the Jew.

I like to think you’re not on the blink! Not petty as a flea

I do have faith you’re not some waif who screams autistically

One last point, put out your joint, is sure to make you lurch

And I will say how in that day, did Hitler replace the church.

“Now see here, unhand your beer, you drunk and stupid furry!

Every schoolchild knows, as the story goes, Hitler was of Christianity!”

Now brace yourself, try not to chelf, and try not to get pissed

See, Hitler Adolf was none too soft and quite the atheist!

I pull the rug like I give a hug, the dirty lies I will replace

In churches, DURR, Adolf Hitler, swapped Jesus for his face

The story’s done by the setting sun of Social Justice folks

who to men above bereft of love, you’re dim eggs full of yolks

To you,  dear friend, let me amend and try to clarify…

My point, you see, is not to be someone who makes Lefties die

The party Nazi fell in hot seed, I hope you’re reading this

For Democrats and Nazi rats share motives socialist.

If can’t you see, through this litany, the correlation spread

Don’t blame me, you won’t be free, is long as you don’t clear your head

And if by now you’re thinking how you’ll balk at one more rhyme

Consider then, this is the end, and I’ll see you next time!

[goingghxst-blog]

@CollegeDanny: Did you ever figure out where that donation came from to help you get into astrophysics?

“Truth be told, I never did. Even Tucker couldn’t find a trail leading to the mysterious benefactor. Whoever helped me out was pretty stealthy about it.” He sighs. “Makes it hard to thank them, you know?”