#trying to make a living
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Need a Writer/Fanfiction?
https://www.fiverr.com/dlcullipher?up_rollout=true
I am offering my ghostwriting services via fiverr so that I can afford to live. For those of you that have read my fan fiction, you know what I can produce in a relatively short period of time. Now, I am offering those services to you!
If you would like to have someone ghostwrite a novel for you, or an ebook, I'm your guy. Check out my fiverr gigs for more information!
Coming soon: I am considering offering a gig or two for writing fan fiction. Nothing about that is set in stone yet, but if you are interested, let me know. I would only be writing Black Butler and maybe Kingdom Hearts, Silent Hill, and Fatal Frame, but we'll see. UPDATE: Black Butler Fanfiction, anyone? https://www.fiverr.com/s2/109c47f0a2
#ghostwriting#ghostwriter#writing services#fan fiction#professional writer#black butler#fiction#fantasy#kingdom hearts#silent hill#fatal frame#fiverr#freelancing#income#trying to make a living#kuroshitsuji#grelle#grelle sutcliff#grell#grell sutcliff
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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Actually, no.
You don't owe your parents/guardians anything for raising you.
You don't owe them in-laws.
You don't owe them grandkids.
You don't owe them favors.
It's your life!
You decide how you want to live it.
You decide what you want or don't want in your life.
#And that goes for ANYONE in your life#Don't let anyone make you feel like you owe them anything/ any part of you#no matter what your feelings or relationship with them is#Don't let people make you feel like you should “try” anything you don't want to do either#Live your life and set your boundaries#Nobody is entitled to you or your life#child-free#childfree#ace#asexual#aro#aromantic#aroace
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Somebody rescue Tim. He's seen too much.
You do NOT have permission to repost my art.
Meme reference under cut:
#dreamer doodles#bruce wayne#batman#tim drake#robin#robin iii#red robin#so fucking jazzed i finally finished this old af WIP#still trying to figure out how to draw tim and bruce#i live for that one fanon bit#where tim has a habit of making increasingly ridiculous#powerpoint presentations that the batfam#are forced to sit down and listen to
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trying to get better with colors!
another fanart of @forgettable-au !
#the pinkinsh version is the one i drew after i spent hours overthinking over details#and the other is when i realized that i didn't need to overthink things and the previous version was fine too XD#guys help this au lives rent free in my brain aiuhnergkijuhrgikju#now papyrus is my favorite character and i fully credit this au for making me deep dive into trying to understand papyrus' character#the outfit is from one of the au's concept art!! i love it SO MUCH dude!!!#i had to draw it at least once#undertale#undertale au#papyrus#flowey#myart
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
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*Danny and a Batfam member having a friendly chat at a cafe. They've known each other for a few months now*
Batfam member: "You know, you actually kinda look like B with a few minor differences. Prime adoption bait. Hope you're not another secret love child of his." *laughs*
Danny: *Starts sweating bullets because he is in fact, Bruce's kid but from a different dimension where instead of being a himbo billionaire, he's a himbo ghost hunter named Jack who almost killed him before he got here .* "Haha, you don't say?"
Batfam member: *Clocks in on sudden shift in mood* "Please tell me you're not."
Danny: "So do you want the short and funny story, or the long and sad one? Yes, there's a right answer."
Batfam member: *crying because they can never have a normal sibling*
Danny: Also, do you believe in ghosts?
Batfam member: *cries even more*
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#dp dc crossover#dc x dp prompt#Bruce is not ready for this#neither is Jason#none of them are tbh#Danny is in the DC universe looking for a place for the liminals of Amity Park to live#not because he has to but because he believes it's his fault and he's trying to make up for it#NOT ghost king danny#because apparently#people don't like that
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.
#this is a pointless text post#my most embarrassing version of this is that whenever it was foggy at the lighthouse i imagined i was emily bronte#or that i was taking a walk in the fog with my good friend emily bronte :^)#so much of this is also tied into the fact that my body hurts all the goddamn time#i am trying to make my pain something i can live with#is this gonna be how i learn that normal people don't daydream about being In The Past#anyway do u guys imagine these sort of scenarios too or am i just a freak#greatest (s)hits
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#stray kids#bystay#skzco#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#skz#gifs#making film#hyunibini lives to see another day#did not even try to color this
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every time i think abt their canon height difference i want to eat drywall
#ISTG I COULD NOT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET THE ANATOMY RIGHT FOR THIS ONE IDK WHY😭😭#anyway they make me sick in the head i try to go one day without thinking abt them and my rotting brain starts shutting down#they're like the iv drip that's keeping my sickly malnourished deteriorating body alive#live laugh love soukoku#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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patron saint of never growing old
#i think theres something uniquely tragic about how we never know what tessa looked like when she was alive#and that the only reason we have an idea of her appearance is via cyn wearing her skin#i interpret the humans being depicted as glitchy silhouettes to be very literal; the MDs barely remember what they look like#due to their memories being fucked with so frequently. and that makes the cynessa reveal a lot worse imo#to see something- someone- that you once remembered to be warm and familiar contorted into something unrecognizable and dangerous#and being unable to remember what she looked like before being puppeted by a monster#you try to imagine her face- young bright and happy- but can only visualize her dead skin stretching unnaturally across robotic features#belonging to the source of all your suffering and trauma.#guh. she was just a kid. man#never got to grow up. never got to get away from her shitty parents. never got to live before she died. whatever. im normal#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones tessa#tessa james elliot#tessa elliot#tessa murder drones#md tessa#gloom.art
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i can 100% understand loving solas for the complex character he is but i just cannot understand i CANNOT understand people seeing him go "hmmmm... dwarves are just severed limbs imitating life without a purpose... hmmm... qunari are savage barbarians... hmmmm... the modern elf might as well be stupid uneducated tranquils... and that's why i justify killing them!!"
and be like
"omg you guys what if solas is right??? food for thought teehee."
think about what you are sayiinnngggggg.
#solas#dragon age#datv#it is okayyyyyy for your favorite character to be wrong about things! plsssssss omfg#never mind that it diminishes the efforts that so many people living in thedas make to try to make their world a better place#thedas needs to be saved by the people living in it it cannot be saved by solas alone#i will die on this hill
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Happy 2025, everyone! May the Arcane brainrot continue to live on 💙
#personal tag#i am currently on vacation and will sadly be extremely busy this coming 2026 but i'll still try to make things here and there <3#will prolly post something when its midnight where i live too haha#im so glad i was super chill and relatively free when s2 came out LOL#thank you to everyone who has continued to support reblog and like my silly lil gifs! may arcane live in our heads rent free!!!!#(even if the show has officially ended haha)#here's hoping for a couple of spin offs!#this show will forever be my favorite show and will always be special to me <3#i hope the love will continue so i can keep making gifs! 💙 have a great new year everyone!
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