#trying to get my brain to let me draw TwT

[superkawaiimothman]

Mallory's mental health is doing great :3

[heartorbit]

find another role, carry on the show

[imsilay]

SOAR pt.2

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NSFW +18 MDNI cw: smut, kidnapping, obsessive behavior, fem!reader, König is a fucking delusional, noncon, Stockholm Syndrome. (idk guys it’s more romantic? than i wanted it to be lmao) (and another warning that this chapter might feel different from the first chapter. just saying :> )

word count: 1.7k

summary: Your sweet captor König fucking you after coming back to home from a long mission.

art cr: yashk_pucyet on twt

König was a man of stamina. He made sure you knew it in the first months that he kidnapped you. And after he came back from deployments, he would make sure you knew he wasn’t a man to be satisfied with just one round. He was your husband after all. He should show his wife that he’s the only one that she needed, that was what he was thinking when he pulled you up by your calves and put them onto his shoulders as he pushed his thick cock into your perfect pussy. His perfect pussy. You were his wife so he had all the right to claim you as his. All of you. All of his. “Ich habe das so sehr vermisst.” (I missed this so much.) he grunted as his hips continued its overwhelming pace.

The way your eyes rolled back and walls clenched tightly around his shaft made him bite onto his lower lip so he wouldn’t let out the moan that was threatening to slip away from his lips. “So fucking cute, Maus.” he cooed when you let out the most beautiful moans and whimpers. The sound of your begging and pleading like ‘stop’, ’s too much’, ‘can’t take it’ fall on deaf ears. All he could hear was the lewd sounds of your dripping cunt. And the way your pussy milked him was enough to convince him to continue. But of course he was still sweet enough to draw tight circles on your clit when he felt you get closer to your orgasm. He brought one if his hands down between your thighs as the other kept your legs on his shoulders. “Let go f’me, Maus. It feels good isn’t it? As much as you try to deny it you missed this cock more than me. Did i made you addicted to this cock? Such a slutty wife. My slutty wife.” and of course he was mean. His degrading words went straight to your pussy. The pleasure, the way he stretched your poor pussy, the way his tip hit your most delicious spots were too overwhelming. You felt like the world’s spinning when he bit the soft skin of your calves. He quickly kissed and licked the new mark which found it’s place among the others. With one hard thrust his tip kissed your cervix and made your vision go white when you cum around his thick cock. Your thighs trembled and you let out a soft cry as you cum. “Scheiße.” He hissed. Pussy squeezing him so tight, milking and begging for his cum. Who he was to not give it to his sweet girl. His beautiful wife. “Gonna cum in you süßes Mädchen.” he purred as the movement of his hips became more desperate. The thought of cumming inside your greedy cunt, claiming you with his cum deep inside your cunt, brought him to the edge. So he finished deep inside you, painting your walls with his seeds. Just like how he did when you ride him. The relief and contentment he felt afterwards was something else. Something that made him feel like a caveman. A man who behaves primitive and rough. “I’m sorry, Maus.” he cooed when he finally noticed your tear stained face. He turned his head to side and closed his eyes when he pressed his lips onto the skin of your legs. “Are you mad at me?” he mumbled softly with all his innocence. He pulled his cock out and collapsed on top of you, so you couldn’t look away from him or try to leave his side. “Look at me, Maus. Du gehst nirgendwohin.” (You’re not going anywhere.) his lengthy and calloused fingers found your chin to make you look into his eyes. He hated when you got upset with him. His heart ached and anxiety engulfed his brain whenever you avoided him. It wasn’t like you could ever leave him. Oh he wouldn’t let you. He just needed you so much. His need and desperation for you never ended.

In the other hand, there you were, so sore from his harshness and endless desire for you. You felt like crying again as he softly let go of your chin, deciding that he was already too harsh on you today, and buried his head into your neck. He was heavy. God he was like 130 kilograms and he was crushing your poor delicate body into mattress. Not that he cared if you were uncomfortable. He just wanted to soothe you with the way he thought would work. His actions were confusing you, making you doubt yourself whenever he got so tender and soft with you. Like now. He was nuzzling and murmuring into your neck, kissing and licking the soft skin, breathing in your addictive scent and marking you by sucking bruises onto your throat… He was melted onto your body, like he didn’t fucked you senseless a minute ago. “Was i too rough again?” he finally spoke again, making you sob and nod quietly. All the overwhelming feelings finally getting to you. “Aww poor baby. That was why i wanted you to ride me.” Yeah, like you had had the energy for it after doing it once already. König knew he was hard in bed. Brutal even. He knew if he had his hands on you he would manhandle you into every position he wanted and he wouldn’t think if it hurt you. You see, he was a soldier, he didn’t knew how to be soft. He didn’t knew how to calm down people. When he had his cock in you and you weren’t on top of him -in control- he would only think the ways to go deeper inside your welcoming warmth. Like the caveman he felt. “I will make it up to you, Meine Königin. How about a hot bath?” he suggested as his fingers dug into your messy hair and started to caress it tenderly. Even if he was tired from the work he still wanted to keep his beautiful wife content and happy. You wanted to deny him, to push him of off your sore body and curse at him. Maybe you could hit him across the face if you had the energy. But all you could do was give him another tiny nod. “That’s my beautiful wife.” he smiled so brightly like you just gave him the world. Despite keeping you forcefully in his home, in his bed, in his arms, you couldn’t deny the trust he imbued into your mind.

His large arms wrapped around your body after he pressed a last lingering kiss on your neck. He gently lifted you up and made you wrap your legs around his waist. Once he was sure you were secured in his strong arms he got up from bed and carried you to the tub that he soon filled with warm water and some essences you like. Once everything was done he pulled your back against his chest and you couldn’t help but put your head back on his chest. “Enjoying yourself, Maus?” he chuckled lightly as you closed your eyes with a humm. The way his strong arms wrapped around you and his fingers massaged your sore muscles relaxed you further. “Feels good.” you mumbled, your voice just above whisper and he noted the way you sigh softly when his fingers brushed against the fresh marks on your thighs. You didn’t even wanted to open your eyes, you just wanted to enjoy how his fingers worked on your sore muscles and forget that it was your kidnapper who was holding you firmly against his body. Maybe, just maybe if you forgot that fact, living with him wouldn’t be that bad. And of course you had to bare with him claiming you as his wife and wanting you to call him your husband all the time. Yeah, that was annoying. But in total it wasn’t that bad. He wasn’t that bad. And maybe he was right when he told you that you didn’t needed anyone but him. He could provide for you, he could show affection and he wasn’t afraid to voice his love for you in every given chance. Unlike the men outside. Yeah, maybe if you just play with his rules you could be happier. He loved you after all. You were his little wife. And he was your husband. “What are you thinking?” he pressed a kiss on your temple when he saw your expression. What could you be thinking so hard? He had to know. He wanted to be inside your head constantly. When you didn’t answer, his mind starts to wonder. Why you weren’t answering him? Were you thinking of escaping again? Even after he fucked you this good and taking care of you? “Answer me.” his tone goes darker with the seconds you waste. His fingers squeezing your plush thighs unconsciously. “I- i was just thinking-“ a small cry left your lips when you flinched with the pain on your thighs. And of course he noticed. Like he noticed everything about you. So he let his grip loosen to let you speak. “I think i love you.” you said and felt his whole body tense behind your back. His whole body went stiff like he received a bullet into his chest. And it felt like it. He felt like his heart exploded and replaced with another one so it could beat this fast. You turned towards him to see his expression but what you saw got you more worried. His eyes were fixated on the wall of the bathroom and his mouth was agape. He looked like he was in a trance. “König?” you called his name but he just remained still. So you did the thing you wanted to do for a while and kissed him. He let out a small gasp but it short lived when he immediately grabbed you by the back of your neck and kept your head still so you couldn’t get away from his grip. Oh no, not anymore when he finally, truly got you. A low moan, more like a growl, left his lips when he finally had a taste of your delicious looking lips. Oh god it was like heaven. You were like heaven and now he couldn’t get enough of you. His hungry mouth captured yours with a desperate kiss. His used his free hand to press onto your chin to explore your mouth further. He was desperate for the new taste he got and he was determined to savor it until his last breath. You were his and he had to claim it with his kiss. There was no going back after giving him your delicious lips.

“Now that you kissed me, you can’t leave me anymore.”

a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked the content ofc <3 your comments also makes my day :* and i try to reply all of them :>

i just love this fic sm. i can’t get enough. a small chapter to thank you guys for:

THIS. ~(≧▽≦)/~ I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU GUYS ARE MY DELULU BBGS <3

and can someone tell me why i love writing König while listening to Rammstein

[attentialkane]

Okay I went full circle and went back to drawing fanart, but honestly I cannot be bothered to draw unless it's something I'm hyperfixating on and DE is giving me brain worms.

I've been SERIOUSLY struggling with letting myself be consumed with another piece of media (we will not be talking about my almost decade long jse hyperfix thank you) because most of my current friends have really cool interests and I felt silly being so fixated on videogames so I kinda just shut off everything and tried to """"intellectualize""" more hoping that it would also translate into original art, but all it did was give me an almost year long artblock and zero inspiration for anything and many many many projects that I never finished (see the shop, all the ocs I just forgot about etc etc etc...) - and I think that is exactly where I went wrong, most of my passion projects despite being aus or fan related content have never lacked of deep meaning. ( See the mhau, which btw I'm going to revist in some way – as I told to a friend I'm not letting a 4 years long project rest to rot lol. It's probably gonna get turned into another original story, unrelated to jse and the other admins of the au out of respect.)

I'm trying to take in what this year has been artistically for me because as for personal growth it's a can of worms I don't want to open.

I think taking a break from fanart and posting art to do more irl art stuff did do me good for a while, but then I carried it on for too long and it did the exact opposite.

As for numbers go, I've had most of my hit posts (mostly qsmp on twt and tumblr and some mouthwashing stuff), which was super great for a bit until it quickly burnt out.

The thing with running art pages (I've made and deleted at least 10 art accounts, yes that is another mistake) is that it's almost impossible to have fanart and originak content coexist with the same engagment.

Anyways, still I feel like I still improved artistically and I finally let go of ibis paint to use csp, which has been great.

[attyrocious]

cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread

i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy

someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.

given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.

i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.

Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer

Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.

my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.

Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.

[rayroseu]

i really thought glomas malleus was the drippiest outfit design we'll ever get @ twst 💀💥💥

!! major spoilers for book 7 pt 3 !! the full body sprite of General Lilia Vanrouge obliterated me 🙏

GIRL GIRLLLL........... ARE YOU SEEING THOSE BOOTS???????? THE HEELS??? THE CLAW ENGRAVINGS?? OHHHH TO BE KICKED BY THOSE STURDY SHOES IS AN HONOR WTHHHJSJWKS😩😩😩

HEY THE LEG STRAP AND THE EMERALD DAGGERS AS WELLL!!!! KSJDJA WTF SERVING SLAY ON THE BATTLEFIELD SIR?!

there is SO MVUH TO TAKW IN my brain is barely coherent rn !!

ok the armbands were a given consideringvit was prominent on his silouette version-- but are those grey patterns a clothing or his actual skin as well??? @/MoonlightEquin1 on twt stated he has so much covering bcs of his weakness to sunlight, so I'm guessing its part of his cloth as well---SO IT MEANS HE HAS A BODY FIT SHIRT UNDERNEATH A CORSET AND ARMOR MY GOD I AM DAMNED😭💕

i lOVE HIS SKIRT?? it looks like bat wings im in AWE... and the scales with BEAD TASSELS?? do they clack together when he moves?? sounds impractical-- but totally lethal for aesthetic purposes!

also a nice reference to Diasomnia's Halloween Costume 🥺🥺 Its making me think he's wearing that in honor of the Draconia Family...

AND RIGHTT... THE B E LT HOW CAN I EVER FORGET THE BELT.... i kinda made fun for overblot malleus for tying his belt like that- BUT WHO KNEW IT LOOKED KINDA OFF WITH MALLEUS BCS ITS LILIA WHOS SUPPOSED TO ADORN IT... im sick💥

The bat motif AND HARNESSES!!!! ON HIS CHEST PLATE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE OUTFIT FUCKS IF IT HAS HARNESSES FOR ME!!!!! and is the tailor of his outfit him or some other fae?? the corset is literally glomas Malleus shirt KAJKAKSKA whoever designed this you're bringing Heaven on earth👍💕💕💕

NAD HAVE WE??? TALK ABOUT HIS MASK??? HAVE WE??? If I saw a person hunting me with that mask on in a dark forest, I'd die just from terror 9716662/10 terrific mask👍👍💕💕 oh i shouldnt forget to mention the MASSIVE FANGS OF THAT MASK... absolutely magnificent✨✨✨

and THE RED HIGHLIGHTS ON HIS HAIR???? HIS SCARF THAT KINDA WORKS AS A CAPE AND THE ENDS OF IT BEING RIPPED?? TO. DIE. FOR. 🤌👍✨😩😩😩

OHHH HOW I WISH THEY RELEASE THE DESIGN ARCHIVES FOR THIS RIGHT NOW BECAUSEEEEE IM BEGGING!!! TO SEE HIS BACK!!! I KNOW HIS HAIRSTYLE IS IN A PONYTAIL BCS HIS LONG HAIR PEEKS OUT JUST ON ONE SIDE 😳🛐

also bYEYEYYE i feel like i took 40 screenshots just from zooming in on the details of his outfit💥💥

i feel like im not doing great in expressing my compliments on his outfit by TRYING. MY VERY BEST. IN DESCRIBING IT!!!! so really, the most profound way is to just stare at it admiringly and let your sight savor the details👍😩😩🤌

REST IN PIECES my fellow lilia artists, this is our moodboard🥲💥💥 you can do it, you'll achieve drawing him in all his briar-valleys-most-esteemed-general-glory🙏🙏🙏

credits: alchemivich

[scrimblerishi]

firecracker

here’s the fanfic requested from the poll yippeee!! i personally really like how this one turned out >:3. cg akito my loveee…

word count: 846

chars: little! ena, cg/babysitter! akito

tws(?): akito being hit w a pillow, mild ALMOST swearing (cut off), mild prose mention of their dad

(art by @habata_07_ on twt)

ena shinonome is not to be trusted with drawing in a toddler headspace.

when she's a baby, her mind is turned to mush enough that she'll be proud of whatever scribbles come out on the sheet. when she's an older kiddo, she's big enough to get frustrated without blowing up. but in the middle?

her mind is critical enough to decide her art is no good, very "yuck". her emotions are NOT self-critical enough to keep her from throwing a tantrum.

THWACK!

and there went the "no good, very yuck" piece, along with the whole sketchbook, right against the wall with a flimsy throw.

"stupif'-" the brunette glowered at it. another jolt went up her body and now if she didn't hit or throw something, she'd implode. she kicked her heel against the floor, letting out angry winces. "oww-"

realising that doing that in fact hurts, she quickly stopped and instead dug her fingers into one of the couch cushions. right now her baby brain was overstimulated beyond belief and turning the whole living room into a mess was the only thing that would help.

with all the power in her body, she wobbly stretched her arm back and then flung it forwards, the pillow detaching itself from the hold and—

“PFGH-!?”

the unlucky visitor almost stumbled over, barely managing to keep the sippy cup in his hand. his gaze shot to her through his scruffy mandarine coloured hair.

“ena, what the he—“, he cut himself off at remembering her headspace right now, “what happened? are you alright?”

“mm…” she looked like she wanted to apologise, but the pride that went tenfold when she was baby stopped her in her tracks, “mmm…” she whined, punctuated another small air kick.

it’s true, akito hasn’t been in the room for the last thirty minutes. but he knows his big (or now little) sister, speaks enananian dare he say. and if she was like this it was definitely because of art, or their father, or usually both. given the later wasn’t at home, he could assume it was art.

“alright, what’s going on.” he sauntered towards the couch.

“nothin’…go ‘way.” she curled into a tighter ball, rocking herself slightly as her body’s last attempt to release the pent up aggravation.

“…alright. here’s the juice you asked for.” he mumbled quietly, plopping the sippy cup beside her. “you should drink some. might help calm ya.”

she just glowered a little. akito decided that letting silence stew was the worst thing right now. “okay. i’m going to clean up now. can you try to calm down for me while i do that?”

“… ya…”

“don’t wanna help i assume?”

“n-no…”

he sighed contently, stretching a little as he went back to pick up the pillow. he would have usually made a snarky comment about how “hey, at least you threw one thing this time” but decided against it.

akito picked it up and nestled it back on it’s original spot on the couch.

“okay, feeling a bit more talkative over there?”

“noooo!…”

another glower.

“yes or no questions, okay?”

ena nodded, the relief in akito’s eyes at the action almost viewable. alright, most important was that the baby was safe. he knew sometimes in throwing or hitting stuff during her tantrums, she could get booboos.

"are you injured anywhere?"

"nuh uhs..."

"phew...okay uhm...what--- is there something I can do to make you feel better?"

"...mm...yea..."

"can a hug be a good start?"

ena nodded and akito roughly wrapped his hands around his sister's shoulders, drawing little circles with his thumbs.

"okay, okay, shh, settle down...c'mon, settle down."

she does finally listen after a few more minutes of pouty murmuring. and when she did, she gently nestled her head in the taller's shoulder. when akito originally heard her ask to be taken care of when regressed, he was worried her tantrums would be much worse than normal, and hard to deal with. instead though, she was much calmer, more cooperative to comfort like this.

"mmm..."

when he saw her hand make a line for the sippy cup, he gently took it's other side.

"you're too tired to do it yourself, kid."

"wha- nooo, m not..."

another pout coded her face.

"you'll spill it all over again..."

"won't!"

"ena..." he sighed in exasperation.

- a few hrs later

needless to say, it was a quest on it's own to get a pouty, fussy little ena to willingly go to her room to sleep. he had to persevere though, their parents would be coming home in half an hour.

he managed to clean everything.

just then his eyes landed on the scuffed sketchbook thrown a bit next to the couch. he picked it up, lazily looking over the page it was on.

"...eh?"

it was...

him?

with two horns on his head and-- oh, horns made purposefully to look like carrots?

oh this little...

he scoffed in irritation that somehow felt nothing like irritation and closed it back, folding it against his side and going to return it to her room (hopefully quietly enough).

[redstringraven]

for the tmnt 40th anniversary: 23 and 32!

\TwT/ !!! thank you much!

TMNT's 40th anniversary ask game!

23.) what is one of your favorite TMNT fics?

ough, i'm admittedly very, very bad at reading fanfic for a few reasons: 1) since i'm also a creator, i often have to decide if i want to use what free time i have creating or engaging with art made by others, and i often opt for the former; 2) i'm an extremely slow reader partially due to how i learned to read, because of this i'm usually pickier about where i put my reading time (if i schedule myself any); 3) i refuse to read fic if i'm not on my desktop with my firefox extension that lets me use the floaty comment box, because it brings me joy to leave lengthy, thorough comments. i love leaving the types of comments i'd like to receive, and my brain gets very cranky when i can't. all this to say, i haven't read a lot of tmnt fanfic since circling back to one of my childhood fandoms. ene i'm trying to be better about it because i very much believe in supporting community, i just... haven't quite gotten around to a rhythm that works for me yet, i guess. not for a lack of wanting, tho. however! i love In The Shelter of Each Other, by @hamstermastersamster; as well as Anger and Management, by @halogalopaghost; and I'll Be Ok!, by @joyfuladorable. just to name some! i also remember a fic from my childhood where raph was babysitting... someone's kid (might've been april's?) and he taught them that if something was an "ouch" that meant it could hurt you and you shouldn't touch it. so, the oven was an "ouch". i don't remember the title because i was, like, fourteen, but i remember that specific detail and loved it very much. shout out to that author. i've also got a few fics i'm reading/trying to keep up with that are still in progress, but i've barely scratched the surface on them because... again. i am slow. lD;; but i am also trying. bless those who're patient with me. i'm so, so sorry.

32.) what was the first thing you've made for TMNT?

i might have stuff from my high school years lying around here somewhere, but you'll have to pay me to post it. i wish i could say i was kidding, but college shot my relationship with my art in the foot. <xD i have a folder of stuff before 2018 that's referred to as "the otherworld" for a reason. we do not venture into that fog... silent hill... but! i'll share some of the first sketches i did in my circle-back. please tolerate the shit phone-photo quality; my phone is obsolete to the point several of my apps will literally no longer open due to incompatibility with the OS. i'll also share the first round of sketches i actually published, so you can see the private sketchbook testings verses me being like "i need to make myself put something out there, here it is".

here's the link to the above published post! really is wild how after i started drawing them more regularly, my own style quickly dug its little fangs in and never looked back. xD;;

[gummarts]

Smells Like Roses

One shot | 797 words | Samarie x Marina (kinda)

I just love my girlfailure Samarie. Heres the link if you would prefer to read/support me on AO3 :3

Theres also a drawing related to this fic on my twt (gummrts)!

Samarie writes a Diary entry the night before she follows her "girlfriend" to Prehevil, and gets worked up when she smells Marina's scent on some souvenirs she was "given."

Dear Diary,

My girlfriend Marina is such a pretty lady. Today she looked at me for three whole seconds and I nearly fell over from how worked up I got! My lord, I'm so in love that it hurts to even breathe air if she's not in the same room as me! I can't believe she's finally comfortable showing us off as a couple in public!

Marina graciously gave me a lock of her hair to remember her by when she's away! She's off to visit Prehevil by train now that the great war’s finally ending. Little does she know I'm planning on tagging along! I can't wait to see that perfect mouth of hers smiling over the surprise I'm planning for when I'm over there! Maybe I'll even get closer to kissing her this time..!

For now, I'll sleep with the clothes she left behind tonight… My brain’s screaming at me to not do it, but it's so comfortable and still fresh with her scent.. I'll try not to ruin them too much this time!

Until I write again,

Samarie

With one last carefully written cursive letter, Samarie was finished with her diary entry for the night. She placed her pen down quietly on the desk and shifted her attention toward the clothing folded and laid neatly on her bed.

Unlike the other girls studying with her and Marina, she had a room to herself. Something about “unnatural behavior” that made every roommate leave sooner than later…

But Samarie embraced the quiet with open arms. She could practice the things she could say to Marina or sing Marina's favorite songs without the ignorant ridicule of others. Until she could work up the courage to ask Marina to move in with her, she was content with this arrangement.

She would stand to walk over to the clothes, running her pale thin fingers over the intricate stitching and silky fabric.

“Just like her skin..” The thought floated into her head. Already, her heart was pounding in her chest, deafeningly loud in her ears. It was like Marina was there, standing before her in the outfit she currently touched. She couldn't hold restraint any longer.

The pristine dress transformed into a crumpled mess in her hands as her face shoved deep into the folds. She inhaled as deep as she possibly could and then shakily let all her breath out. It was purely Marina’s signature scent, roses, filling her lungs like a warm hug from the inside out.

It sent her into a frenzy. She undressed as if she was doused with gasoline and set ablaze, practically tearing off her black dress and the white blouse underneath that she wore daily. Within seconds, the silky spring dress covered her lithe naked body. The fabric brushes against her sensitive chest, making her squirm a bit. Instantly, she saw just how aroused she was getting.

You see, like her beloved girlfriend, Samarie had a secret.

Her erection made a tent in the fabric, something that she would grimace at when her gaze lowered. It was disgusting seeing her body like this, but it helped to think that Marina had experienced the same pain as her. She could only imagine what their first time would be like. How Marina's soft hands would lovingly explore her subtle curves, or how her lips would slowly make their way lower via kisses to her stomach and hips. Marina would comfort Samarie over their shared affliction– she just knew it.

She was breathing laboriously by now. One hand stayed firmly wrapped around the girth of her cock, and the other balled up fabric and brought it to her nose. Only then would she begin, moving her soft hands up and down the length. Her eyes fluttered closed as she inhaled her girlfriend's scent.

“Marinaaa–” She whimpered. Her brain flashed images of the times she watched from afar– times when Marina would put on a show for just her. When Marina's hips would buck into her hands. When she squirmed and whined out as her fingers curled deep inside, when she called for Samarie by name. When- When- When-!

Samarie’s hips pushed into her hand as she finished. Each thick string of cum was physical proof of her love and dedication to Marina. She would stroke a few more times, imagining that Marina was there to take it all.

She could hardly breathe, eyes wide as she looked down at the mess she'd created. She turned around and plopped down on her mattress. A sigh escapes her lips as her eyes fixate on the large stain her act of love created. She could not return the dress as planned– not tonight, anyway. She looks at her palm. Her affinity with Sylvian surely grew.

“...I’m so fucked up.”

[joyfuladorable]

⭐️ any section of I'll Be Okay! that you're itching to speak on, i am all ears, ears for days.

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

*twirls you around!!* HANNAHHH!!! 💜💜

Oh, man, so, as I made sure to point out in the Author’s Notes, this fic was inspired by This Art by my Buddy soggytommy on twt:

My writer brain was active at the time so I sat down and wrote a couple hundred words and DMed my buddy the wip, to which they responded by giving me more context about the scene: fighting the PDs, Leo accidentally blows something up, Mikey suffers the consequences.

So, the actual bts is that I Had been considering making this full angst with comfort at the end, but y’know!! I’m a sucker for levity during serious situations (which is probably why Mikey’s my fave, lol), so I tried to strike a balance there with Mikey kinda breaking the tension at multiple points, even with himself during the immediate aftermath of the explosion.

Also, I enjoy echoing/calling back to lines in my fics! The most obvious recurring one in this fic is the theme of Promises (Mikey promising he’ll be okay, Leo promising to tell him the end of the book, Mikey promising to tell someone immediately next time he gets badly injured). Don and Leo both tell each other at different points that they’ve done Enough. In Mikey’s POV, there’s Orders, with Mikey immediately following Leo’s command to Run and then later listening when he tells him to sleep. There’s also the Donnie SAINW trauma I slipped in, with both Leo and Mikey noticing he doesn’t react well upon seeing Mikey with arm injuries. Probably a few more but these are the clearest ones off the top of my head, lol!

Oh, and here are some of my favorite lines:

- “Aw, du’...” Mikey glares up at him. “Cli’ ‘angr.” << *points at my bestie* turtle who wants immediate gratification instead of suspense and probably loves to binge stories in one sitting

- A bookmark sticks out of it, tasseled with yarn and made up of layered and colorful construction paper and filled with childhood memories. A frail thing (a treasured gift) that has somehow survived all these years and unintentional moves. << *points again* baby Mikey made that :3

- The stabby thing needs to stay in his arm or else he’s off to join the Big Turtle in the Sky. << Personally the funniest joke I had Mikey think to himself next to the This Mission Blows line

- I know it’s Bad, he tells his brain as the pain whites out his vision. Stop yelling at me. I know. << *Mario falling in lava owowowow noise* if I ever actually draw this scene I apologize in advance

- Leo being up meant that they could stay up late, so Donnie would tinker or read and Raph would hog the Gameboy so Mikey would be resigned to reading comics. Sometimes, he’d slip under Leo’s blanket tent and try to read with him, asking him questions about the heroes and the villains and the story. << I wrote this Because of your (yes, You, Hannah) comment on Ch1 which made me think about Leo reading to his bros. Also, I totally drew a thing inspired by this because it’s The Most Precious Thing

- “Nope!” Mikey forces a leg to kick out of his blanket, missing Leo by a mile but sending the message loud and clear. “Y’know what? No blame game! No one wins in the blame game.” << *points for one last time* things I’ve actually done as a kid tucked in bed and a sibling says something stupid so I kicked out to let them know so

- And, he finally gets a hug from his dad, a carefully gentle thing from Splinter that he soaks in like the rays of the sun. << Actual Favorite Line that I will feel proud of til the end of time and also maybe draw at some point cuz Splinter Hug

[xxms-guidancexx]

Welcome To My Cardboard Box

◉_◉ THIS BLOG IS 18+, so minors and ageless blogs, DNI◉_◉

(づ￣ ³￣)づ I hope you are strapped in for the journey that is this blog. I haven't really kept with social media for over a year now, so let's.... just see how this goes (>人^)

✿

ABOUT ME: You can call me Cecil (I'm working on a drawn about me but until then!!),

I'm 23, I am super neurodivergent and mentally ill, I'm in a long-term relationship, I love music, music performance, & its related topics (i.e dance and musical theater. God; I LOVE musical theater). I also was an art student and therefore love creating art and exploring artistic practices, I'm SUPER into anime; current obsession is MHA.

Other anime fandoms I like: JJK, Fire Force, Soul Eater, KnY (Demon Slayer)

I'll put Musical Theater fandoms if anyone cares

Twt Acc: @xXMsFortunateXx (In the nicest way: Fuck Calling It "X")

ABOUT THE BLOG: This will be self-indulgent and explorative. I wanted to start writing MHA content, but I haven't written anything resembling fanfiction since about 2013 or 2014. I also want to physically house some of my OC Ideas/ brain vomit/creative work somewhere. I tend to explore ideas and concepts through application, so I would like to either start a comic and/or start writing snippets of some of my OCs' interactions.

I would LOVE to interact with people on these topics and fandoms as I spend an absorbent amount of time thinking/interacting with them.

ABOUT MY CREATIVE WORK: There will be both SFW and NSFW content on this blog.

ANY AND ALL EXPLICIT/NSFW CONTENT WILL ONLY CONTAIN EITHER CHARACTERS WHO ARE CANONICALLY 18+ or CHARACTERS WHO HAVE BEEN AGED OUTSIDE OF THEIR CANON TO BE OLDER THAN 18+.

As far as writing, I don't really currently have a writing practice, so I don't know what kind of writing I will post, but I will most likely start with headcanons and lil drabbles.

As far as drawing/visual art, you'll just get to see the art I do, I guess? This aspect mostly is informed by my OCs musical theater. I might draw snippets of fanfics that really just *mwahh chef's kiss*

I will post all NSFW art on My Twitter Page

In general, I am kink-friendly and intend to engage with dark and explicit content on this page. I will try to establish a tagging system so they can filtered out for your convenience. I'll probably only be writing x f!readers for a little while. I will want to branch out, but I want to become more comfortable writing something first and since I'm AFAB, it's pretty easy to not think about. I will definitely be in-between adhering as closely to the canon as I can & disregarding it for indulgence sake.

With that being said, I am not personally trying to RP with anyone, I'm trying to set these characters up in situations (realistic or otherwise). I have this online persona and then I have OCs. You can sexualize my OCs and I'm pretty okay with that I mean shit I do it, but I'm not okay with personally being sexualized by anyone that I don't know in this space.

RULES: be 18+, be courteous and respectful, ALWAYS feel free to chat with me (I love talking sometimes)

requests: CLOSED

commission: OPEN

[baekhvuns]

It has just been a month and a half since I got into second year........things alr seem tough 😭. NVM about that, my friends's acquaintance apparently came in handy for this job. Yn job?!?!? Nah frr it reminds of those rom coms 😭😭.

NO HES GOTTA MAKE THE MOVE! But I bet he doesn't even know i fancy him cuz of my tremendous behaviour towards the person I like- PRETEND THEY DON'T EXIST! you will never catch me, and i mean NEVER catch me giving them soft eyes or trying to make a good covo, Bcz my brain says if you find someone attractive act cold towards them and then secretly cry in your room for them to notice when you basically give no clues whatsoever 😃

OHMYGOD NELLY FURTADO?!?! Honestly, I could've given out much better songs! I just forget the artists 😩 WEEKEND IN JUST FRIENDS DANG IT I FORGOT ABT HIM! I'm telling you since the whole the idol show launched, I can never listen to the weekend the same.

I scrolled down a lot on your blog, reading the asks and i saw someone made like vision boards for your fics. And i specifically loved the khronus one 🤌 and I kept tht in mind while thinking of the songs but i forgot it was based on moon lovers 🤦‍♀️

Besides that I've been meaning to ask you about your views on anime. I mean do you watch anime if so what'd be your top picks? Bcz...I'm obsessed with it so ....

Nooo I need a new part of just friends 😭 I'm STARVING FOR IT! The idea of hwayoung automatically popped in my brain when I saw this blog praising Shiloh pitt's visuals and people were going crazy over that oh wow she looks so much like her mother, or like mother like daughter. But ong Shiloh is majestic! Like those genes she acquired from Angelina 🤚🙌✨

I've been meaning to watch red, white and royal blue...(I hope that's the right title!) But I won't get the timeee 😭 like today, I'm doing nothing but I wanna dedicate this day to just my silly little videos on YouTube and not a series or a movie. But I'll try to stay strong!!

Ok but like I really wanna make hwa read the ffs 😭 LIKE PLS SIR!! I'm gonna dm KQ ent a pdf of Duke and general and ask them to MALE THIS A DRAMA! I will in this lifetime, SOMEONE HAS TO DO THT FIC JUSTICE!

reminds you? best friend it IS A YN JOB just wait till the holidays and the movie will start 👀

NO BECAUSE I GET U 😭😭 GOTTA ACT NOT INTERESTED AND MYSTERIOUS CANT LET THE COVER FAIL GDKWHDKW

NELLY FURTADO’S EVERY SONG W TIMBALAND IS FOR JUST FRIENDS (waiting for their new collab omg) AND THE WEEKND YEAH FHWJDHKS no ur right ever since the idol’s clips i saw on twt i just 🫠 what the fuck <3 but if we forget that then the songs def work for runways

omg yes i do!!! i grew up watching it but i mostly only watched shoujo and they stopped making shoujo’s for some reason like 5 years back and i only go to watch those but there’s a few new ones out w the same drawing so im watching them atm! my top picks since i only watched shoujo/slice of life’s would be 1. kamichu, 2. k-on, 3. tamako market, 4. ouran high school, 5. maid sama, 6. orange, 7. kamisama kiss, 8. alice academy, 9. yunerio patisserie!!!!!!! 10. pretty rhythm aurora dream (this was my fav as a kid)

a few others i can think from the top of my head is nana, cardcaptor sakura, SPECIAL A, itazura na kiss, my next life as a villainess, natsume’s book of friends, swan lake (2002), kodocha! if u want recs lemme know ive got a whole collection list 😭😭

ILL DEF LOOK INTO SOMETHING LIKE JUST FRIENDS! NO SHILOH IS LIKE THE PERFECT MIXTURE OF HER PARENTS i get it, id want hwa and yn from just friends to have pretty kids, u know they’d be mad tall 😭😭

that movie is so good!!! i wish it was longer bc i wanted to see more of their progression but it’s a good movie nonetheless!!

LMFAOOOO PLS FHWKDHWKHDWK TAKE THE SMUT OUT RIGHT NOW FHWKHFKWFJWK

[sanchoyo]

i promise i will read the manga!! but um. well. now i’m just so curious i gotta know. just how blorbo can cara go. i wanna take a graceful step backwards and head-first into the rabbit hole. please i gotta know

- saguaro anon pt 2

(i promise it’s me again i swearzit. not that it isn’t easy to lie of course i just think that’d be the funniest thing in the world. there can only be ONE saguaro liker everyone pass the original anon message around the circle if you’d like a turn with the saguaro anon.)

(speaking of i’m chewing on the art of them. i love them so bad they make me wanna draw swords. obsessed also with the dichotomy of physical/spiritual prowess that contradicts a more common “pacifist priest” archetype through swords. still a very graceful way to slay but between that strength/faith dichotomy and their dichotomy with the queen’s science... it’s so evocative of a righteous paladin. but they are also so eepy.)

not u sending this right after I sent a friend a 10000+ word essay to a friend on discord abt cara. pls. the timing is incredible im bouncing cara around in my brain…

SAGUARO ANON!!! HI!!! (wait thats cute. naming urself as an enjoyer of them. my heart will explode fr thank u sm for enjoying my ocs ;_; u are the champion liker of them….this is ur burden to bear)

I mean, don't feel obligated to read the manga/watch the show(s)(either of them! still so happy we got a reboot 20 years after the original…) its just. would fill on context for Some Things (also is a gateway into magical girls if ur not already into them) and I always take a chance to rec it. but..I do try to make things understandable w/out it? I hope?

Cara…im trying to think of what I can say publicly abt her without spoiling her whole story. (I plan to probably make it a novel-sized fanfic and...with 2-3 illus per chapter…it works better as a comic, but the energy to do it + how little reception I got when I tried it…TwT </3) this got. erm. long. so under the cut? I dont THINK anything is TOO spoilery, but if anyone wants to wait until the story is actually being written, maybe skip this one :3c

ok so. my sweet caroline (ba ba ba) 'cara' testout-seebauer, (god what a good name)...… she's like. my wildcard character. full of surprises. full of anxiety. as someone who is also full of anxiety I can say sometimes getting too anxious makes people lash out, seem irritable. get this girl some noise-cancelling headphones tbh. she's also quiet, which, people around her misinterpret as 'oh shes brooding and mysterious' but she's 15. she's the Most 15 Year Old, and all that entails.

She, uh…let me just say she is about as aware as magical girl tropes as Mira is. she makes a point to declare herself as the 'dark magical girl rival' to Mira's heroine persona. which is totally a Normal Thing for anyone with Normal Motivations to say, obviously. (mira aggressively turns a blind eye to how absolutely weird that is because it fits with what she also wants, but other characters are even like, hey thats..questionable? why is a human working with the Aliens Who Want All Humans Dead?? you might ASSUME tragic backstory, but I Love Subverting Expectations. she has a pretty good family life!) she's not as much as an edgelord as this type of character should be in theory, but she IS dramatic 🤔

she's actually somewhat naive and makes the worlds most questionable judgement calls and has the worst sense of who to trust. she's a nerd. she speaks like 4 languages because she was moved around a lot up until she was about 13 and has lived in a handful of countries (if you ask her, she'd say shes american bc thats where shes lived the longest, but her dad is half british half japanese raised in japan and left when he was 18 for america, and her mother is afro-latina american. she strongly takes after her mom in looks but got her dads hair texture :> )

it's a running gag that she knows how to do an improbable amount of things and she always brushes this off her parents were very indulgent and she had a hard time sticking to anything. why does she know origami and karate and how to make balloon animals and ballet and sword fighting and art?? oh but she can only do the very basics of any of the various things, she's not like, outstanding at very many things admittedly and cannot commit to anything. she has...approximate knowledge of many things...It must be said, for the majority of the alien ocs I have...shes the first human theyve met. so u can imagine this gives them very skewed idea of how many things humans can do...

a lot of the characters n plots in tm2 are things I think were tragically underused and under-explored in tmm. in particular the things about her that I draw from are largely things from tokyo mew mew a la mode. (which as of now is free to read on archive.org and is only two volumes!! its the sequel to tmm ^_^...) anyway regarding that...there's a hint in her full name no one as picked up on yet and I shant say more on that. (...do people not pick up on certain naming schemes in tmm aside from the girls having food names? I dont know. this is one of those 'would only pick up on it if ur familiar w tmm things but! I dont even think ppl who HAVE read it have noticed yet.. tbf I only revealed her full name last year I think!)

all of the girls have symbolism with the animal dna they're infused with. cara's a snake. which is such a double sided thing. a lot of people are scared of snakes, lots of imagery of being two-faced or deceitful BUT also, like, 'transformations/rebirth' (shedding of the snake skin) and the caduceus!!! (hermes association, loosely :)) fun. her weapon being a shield + gramophone combo thing now reflects a lot about her too :)

shes SHORT. shes freckled. she cuts her own hair. shes objectively just really funny in a messed up way because everything is extreme when ur 15, its seriously so. just. shes so so so dramatic and gay, my god. its painful to watch. its painful to WRITE. rancid at just COMMUNICATING. she doesnt necessarily even want to be a magical girl its rotten work but my god she'll do it she DOES like the genre but she is so so scared and would probably rather NOT be doing more than like, cosplay. fighting things or people = scary. anxiety is real. but here she is! for some ungodly reason! eeey exposure therapy amiright fellow anxiety sufferers. queen put her and sapote together because sapote was the only alien whod volunteer to get infused and become a mew mew lol sapote is outgoing and queen figured this would offset cara's...*vaguely gestures* everything pretty well. and that sapote would be able to sus out anything cara might be hiding. queen knows sapote's smarter than expected and trusts her a lot cara and sapote are SUCH a funny duo 😭

cara is like. she has problems. and instead of solving them in any rational way she ends up creating 15 more severe problems about it. pitiful little meow meow mew mew

also I'm glad u enjoyed the lil doodle of them, had to toss them in after ur nice message :) (+I will take any excuse to draw or talk abt my ocs r u kidding. i love them)

replying to the very last bit of ur message abt our friend saguaro: WAAAA THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT THEY MAKE U WANNA DRAW SWORDS!! (do it. swords are fun to draw) u hit the nail on the head with: 'the dichotomy of physical/spiritual prowess that contradicts a more common “pacifist priest” archetype through swords. still a very graceful way to slay but between that strength/faith dichotomy and their dichotomy with the queen’s science… it’s so evocative of a righteous paladin.' the. understanding. the analysis. u are so correct. holding ur hand about this. thank u. thank u.

since u arent a tmm watcher/reader. I have to tell you. deep blue, their god? is the main final bad guy in tmm. we have SO SO SO little info about him. I had to make up so many stupid little headcanons surrounding him + the religion and what would possibly happen post-canon. which is only vaguely tangentially related but I have Many Thoughts. he uses a sword, so of course saguaro would Want To as well! and as far as 'gods' go, deep blue is. hm. a violent one. saguaro is incredibly nice! but is still a devout cult member follower of a violent god who they WILL spill blood in the name of. they WILL tell queen to her face that no, she should NOT be the leader, that should be someone who follows deep blue-sama! and they are only following her for a good view from the top to spot carry out his will, because surely deep blue guided them to be so skillful for a REASON, they MUST be useful to him when he finally reappears! and there is NO room for doubt in their mind he WILL. (jaws theme ominously plays in the distance)

queen and saguaro are both ppl who pride themselves on being civil and well-mannered, so you can imagine the sheer passive-aggressiveness in their convos. they're useful, they're probably the BEST swordsmaster, and they've proven to be very diplomatic and can bridge the gap queen sorely needs to with the other straggling deep blue followers, and queen isn't one to throw away a pawn, so she ultimately sees it as putting up with an annoyance for the greater good. (its not like deep blue could possibly return or anything! jaws theme sounds louder and closer)

everyone else in queens little upper posse thinks theyre super weird. …except cara! (we've come full circle!) because shes human! and! has no frame of reference! for deep blue related things! (well…at least, not in the way everyone else would've) shes dealt with like, mormons or thse door to door religious ppl, to her its like. whatever. same difference. saguaro isnt mean to her solely because shes a human like SOME people in queen's upper circle are. in fact, they're really actually very nice to her! and hey, she likes swords! and they have a calming presence, which is GREAT when u are a little shaky chihuahua abt everything.

I have this scene planned out where cara wakes up from a nightmare SCREAMING, sapote's room is right beside her and hey thats her little buddy so ofc she runs in. but cara wont talk to her, and sapote is like. kid I Am Not Leaving You Alone rn I Am Vaguely Worried and you need someone Adult Shaped to talk to. so caras like. whatever get saguaro then. and sapote is BAFFLED, but it makes perfect sense. because unlike sapote, they won't badger her or try and get her to spill anything, they won't try forcing her into a hug, if she asks them to just talk and distract, they're happy to. they aren't going to go spill her secrets and they CERTAINLY wont rat her out for saying anything untowardly about queen.

sapote accuses them of trying to yank cara into their little cult over this of course. kadskj

oops. thats a very long ramble about nothing very clear. I'm trying to be GOOD about not spoiling my own darn story, but the temptation to talk about it is so strong. I'm always super happy to share stuff on it and when ppl show interest it makes my heart explode. thank uuuu so much again TwT

[girlgerard]

I find it very funny that people on twitter try to “cancel” you because of your analysis of gerards relation to gender and try to call it transphobic and obsessiv when they spend their free time analysing every interaction g and frank have in an acrually creepy way and unironically ship frerard. Like it’s hell over there and honestly them insulting u was my last straw leaving mcr twt because omg how brain dead can ppl be

i mean the reality is that whenever something big happens and there’s this massive communal feeling of excitement and shock, there’s going to be a kind of rubber band backlash? and honestly a lot of it is justified i think! i wasn’t online much yesterday, just let my queue run and would post during the show, and i didn’t see the general tone of where the tide had turned on talking about nashville. now that i have, the way people are treating it actually makes me extremely uncomfortable. i use this blog as an emotional vent sort of, like a fun little journal to yell all of my thoughts into without much actual tether to reality. i’m not constructing a literal thesis on my blog. my worst nightmare is any of this actually affecting people in real life. so i actually agree with a lot of the discomfort people feel over how some are reacting to nashville. now that my head’s a bit clearer it also makes me feel a bit gross, because it’s bridging over into shit from 2011 and we can’t go back to that

i do think that a tumblr blog getting ragged on by twitter is very ironic lol but like. if people want to unfollow that’s totally okay! you never have to explain yourself or try and rally a crowd, like it’s literally fine. and in many ways i understand. i’m actually cringing really hard right now at how some people are taking some of my posts from the past week because they’re taking them as if i’m genuinely posing like. a bedrock theory. which is fucked. so i’m kind of slowing down on posting just because i’d feel sick if this ever got out of control.

overall the whole situation will blow over thank god, it kind of already has a bit, and i’m just going to draw back for the time being. i’d never want to dampen the complete joy and fun and silliness that was nashville. my feelings about that show have not changed; my reaction to how people are taking it has.

[victoria1676]

A bit of heads up of 'Leave me alone and let me build my s**t interlude' is that it will be in different perspective of characters such Rubedo, Paimon, Zhongli, Yae Miko and Ei and then to Dainsleif.

The build up of the characters perspective will be hard fore as I try my best to make them in character and also it will be very angsty so prepare your tissues and heart begin clench but also enjoy the suffering in this interlude XD

Honestly I really wanna finish this so I can go to the Prologue part 3: Doomsday when it's a mixed of my old Doomsday SAGAU Villain and now being used for my story

Cries that I have to replace Kaeya for another person since in the original doomsday fic Kaeya is in reader's side but now I have to change and revise some stuff since Kaeya is one of the people who hurt and hunted down reader. TwT

Also I apologize if I keep saying my interlude is coming when I'm legit stuck at revising and trying my best to finish it TwT legit idk why I made the interlude but then I'm a sucker of building up stories so it would give out the tension and to make you guys understand why the acolytes didn't recognize reader as the true creator or why they keep ignoring and letting Mallory (Reader's imposter) keep up her tyranny when they are alot of obvious signs why Mallory is the true imposter.

I will do my best to make it how the characters didn't realized Mallory's actions and since I hinted how Celestia helped Mallory in this for the plan the gave to her.

Honestly I Celestia is sus and we all know they are gonna be the true villain but if Hoyoverse suddenly makes Celestia the good guy the whole time or idk I will be shooked.

But anyways right now I'm currently Building up Zhongli's perspective or rather it's on Madame Ping's perspective and then to Zhongli. I legit didn't wanna make him suffer and same goes to the other characters however they will get their redemption with reader but unfortunately that will take a long time since I'm gonna give out what the first chapter of my story will be.

After all the Prologues are finished Chapter 1 to ??? Will be focused on Reader's past, Dream SMP lore and then the start of the slow imposter sagau hunt. Right now I already planned ahead how things will go down and going back to the present like when will reader or the other characters like eachother or something?

'Leave me alone and let me build my s**t' will be a series that will have a lot of angst, build up, dream smp lore crossover with the SAGAU lore and most of all slow burn.

Yes you may be wondering like "Victoria are you really gonna make her genshin characters fall for reader or reader fall for the characters"

Yes I will do that but not in a fast pace because I need a build up and then we go to the slow burn. Plus my reader is very different to the other SAGAU reader's and my reader is very much a hard person to get her forgiveness because of her past, the Dream SMP and of course the wild goose chase-I mean the imposter chase. She is not the type who will get like traumatized or go forgiving characters easily when I want to break everyone's expectations of how different my FIC is and of course make it different to every SAGAU fics.

I'm not a fast typer like the other SAGAU artists and have a shit schedule of trying find time to finish my FIC that is currently very long (And I thought the interlude would be small but brain keeps giving me ideas 😭😂👌) also busy with irl. Plus also busy playing genshin impact as well XD

Also regarding about me posting my arts. I'm currently trying to find time to when I will draw and I will also be a post here of my commissions that will opened on soon in both my instagram and my tumblr here. I really need money so I'll try my best to make my price okay and not that expensive since my art isn't that expensive or eye catching to others 😂😭💔

But anyways that's all I can say so I hope you guys understand where I am going in this fic and hopefully you will stay to love it despite some of you guys are really excited or impatient to see the interlude.

That's all goodnight!

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Hi! What are yours views on the recently released billboard article about bts? I assumed that people agreed on the fact that its was extremely disappointing and disrespectful towards bts but there are many ‘army’ blogs who are still defending that article

From anon: What do you think of the new Billboard article about the boys? 😓

I’ll be honest, I had a bit of a debate with myself if I want to post something about the article or not, if I want to draw more attention to it (like there’s literally anyone left who hasn’t heard about or read it), and if I want to get mad all over again. Since you’re reading this, we all know what conclusion I arrived at.

Usually I try to at least somewhat organize my answers to not jump around or angrily rant, but wow, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get that done this time so please bear with me this once. I’d also usually add direct copy+paste quotes and/or screenshots but I truly don’t want to give this article any clicks, or give that “journalist” and his writing even more direct attention, so this answer will have to do without them, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ve all read the article, or at least seen parts of it, so you’ll know what I’m talking about in each instance.

You know, in all of this, besides the obvious awful aspects of it all, I also feel bad for the staff (not the Billboard journalist and the editors) involved in this, like for example the photographer who went in and took gorgeous pictures of the members, did his best working with them, only for said pictures to be forever attached to this dumpster fire. And the members who spent so much time during that photoshoot to get only the best results and yet, what does it even matter in the end. As well as the fact that they took time out of their busy schedules to meet the journalist, to answer whatever questions he had, to just end up having to read all...THAT.

As some pointed out, it is though very telling that none of the HYBE/BHM/BTS twt accounts have retweeted the Billboard twts with links to the article. That already basically tells you everything you need to know, as in, that the article isn’t worth our time and our braincells needed to read it.

After so many years I think most of us have come to expect basically nothing from interviews with literally any US publication, but especially magazines like The Hollywood Reporter (remember that mess?) and Billboard, and, well, the bar was in hell and yet they still managed to deliver a result that was, I think, one of or the worst article I’ve ever read on BTS. Especially since large parts of the article weren’t even about them? For a cover story about BTS, what’s up with the lack of interview, the minimal amount of quotes from their answers, the summarization of their supposed words, and the large focus on a “controversy” basically cooked up by haters on stan twt? And the “journalist”, who has shown in older twts that he has a negative bias toward BTS and ARMY, even taking direct quotes from stan twt accounts for western artists to illustrate his point, instead of, I don’t know, legit sources? Showing numbers or anything that would show credibility and a solid foundation for said argument? But instead it’s gossip and malicious accusation based on “I don’t like that this band is successful instead of my fave so I will accuse them of cheating while I ignore all the cheating my own fave partakes in”.

More below the cut:

Of course we were, once again, served the narrative that ARMY are just a bunch of manipulated teens which, let’s like talk about that for a second because there are a lot of layers to this and the further you look, the worse it looks for people like this journalist and everyone else like him openly shading ARMY. 

Let’s suppose ARMY really somehow were millions of girls ages 12 to 18 (who somehow have access to enough money to raise funds for music and also match BTS’ $1 million donation and spend money on so many different charity projects every year) and these journalists, most of them men usually above the age of 30, go around and basically belittle and “hate” on them. Do we see the problem here? The fact that in this case grown adults openly, in publications they are paid to write for, bully teenagers and kids simply because they don’t agree with the musician said teens and kids have decided to be a fan of and support. And because they are girls instead of soccer loving boys, as counter example.

A truly weird hill to be willing to d*e on just to make some kind of (negative) point if you ask me. 

Then of course there’s the whole thing that Mr. Journalist decided to go in with a narrative in mind and seriously sit down opposite Namjoon and basically ask him “hey, listen, what do you think about your crazy TEENAGE fans buying your music (truly the audacity, how dare they) and that they are cheating and manipulating the system? Like that’s not right, right?”. Bless Namjoon and his genius brain for being able to keep his cool and shut down that man with his amazing answer shifting the blame right back onto Billboard and how, if they don’t like people playing by the rules that they themselves have created, maybe they should look at their own system and reevaluate it instead of turning against and point a finger at BTS who, as Namjoon said himself, are simply an easy target because they are foreigners, because they sing in a language that isn’t English, and because they are Asian. And really, is there anything the US music industry hates more than foreigners, POC at that, being successful, or even more successful, than their industry supported artists? Don’t think so.

Also can we talk about how strange the argument of “bulk/mass buying” is when ARMY never goes over the limits Billboard themselves have set up, being four copies of a given song. If they truly were against people “bulk/mass buying” you’d think they would lower the number to one copy per person and that’s it, right, the way iTunes does it. And yet, they did not. Because “bulk/mass buying” is okay, just not when it’s ARMY and Bangtan.

Billboard: Buying multiple copies of the same song is bad and makes no sense. You’re cheating.

Also Billboard: Here, buy EIGHT copies of the same magazine, with the exact same contents but different covers, for $170+ in this neat little bundle.

Make it make sense, will you? Or at least be less obvious with what you’re doing.

It’s a problem when it’s done in a way that doesn’t benefit them, and the greater US music industry and their shady system, but when it does benefit them, it’s totally chill, easy, no problem? It’s so obvious, dumb, and kind of makes me want to laugh but also scream and/or knock my head against my table because it’s just so bizarre yet it’s treated like this all makes sense and is completely normal. And the sad thing is, it is normal. We, or BTS as umbrella term, are a problem because we get things done, we get achievements and #1s and numbers without giving in to payola, paid playlisting, bundles when they were still a thing, and without everything else the US labels do to push their artists into basically false fame. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen and nonbinary friends, is where the issue lies.

While talking about all of this among ourselves (as in ARMY at large) across sns, as well as taking into account some pondering by journalists questioning the intentions of the article, a thought arose and, now that I think about it, it sounds just too obvious and yet here we are. Voting season for the Grammys is coming up sometime soon-ish, and Billboard is one of the major publications that the voting members look at and read when considering who to give their vote to. Now imagine you’re a voting member who until this point had a positive, or at least neutral, opinion on BTS but on Monday you sit down and read this article? Would you still want to vote for an artist being accused of “chart manipulation” and supposedly claiming they didn’t actually want to do music in English but were forced into it despite originally saying something else?

No, right?

And that’s the point. 

This is nothing but a glorified smear campaign against Bangtan across lots, and I mean lots, of publications who picked up the narrative that this article presented and ran with it. The US music industry sees their success and feels threatened because they are showing that when you have true, organic success and a loyal fan following you don’t need any of the paid for tricks to achieve things, you don’t need payola, don’t need paid for playlisting on streaming websites, and don’t need US industry backing. You can do it all on your own, therefore these exploitative systems and institutions don’t make any money off of you which is obviously unacceptable. Even more so when you could actually win, or at least again be nominated, for what is regarded as the supposedly most prestigious music award, aka the Grammys. So, since they know they can’t get rid of ARMY, can’t discourage us from supporting BTS, they go for their image and reputation instead. And that’s what this article tried to achieve. Show that, wow, in the end all the “dark side of K-Pop” stories were true all along because even poor, poor BTS are puppets of their evil agency after all, are forced into things, and are used to manipulate their gullible teenage fans into throwing money at them and manipulating the charts.

How come we’re the only ones who see just how f*cked up all of this is? And the few journalists who are on our side?

Lastly, can we talk about just how weird the use of and the quotes themselves from the members were? Most felt not only out of place, out of context, but also so weirdly out of character some ARMY have started to question how much of their “quoted words” are actually theirs and how much might be, essentially, fabricated/twisted to fit the desired narrative the journalist had from the get go. I know a certain crowd, you know which one I mean, jumped onto what was said about the english songs but also especially the final quote from Seokjin at the end of the article that essentially boiled down to “we were so annoyed and overworked we said screw everything, especially our agency, and now we only trust each other” or something to that effect. Am I the only one who thinks that quote sounded nothing like something Seokjin would say? Yes, he’s said cheeky things in the past, he’s also said bold things, like his entire speech against sajaegi back in 2019, but each time he was polite and stuck to his manners while doing so, yet this? I don’t know, something about it just feels very off. Or JKs quote about how he sacrificed more than just his youth to be who he is now. While we know that is true, after all he became a trainee at a very young age and spent the better part of his teenage years as idol on stage, but has he ever spoken about that negatively? In such a manner?

Someone suggested that interviewers should publish transcripts of the original Korean answers and questions that BTS were asked in order to offer some transparency and also for us to know that what they are quoted saying are actually things they did say. I know that’s very unlikely to ever happen, just wishful thinking on my/our part, especially when a hit piece article is attached to it, but in moments like this, it really would be very helpful. For us, but also to add credibility to such articles and the context in which said quotes are used.

Now, for the ‘ARMYs’ who defended this article, to be honest, I’d very much question how much of an ARMY someone is when they can go and read this article and agree with it. How? I get that for some the things in this article played right into their manti agenda, but mantis aren’t ARMY. And the crowd who decided to, instead of blaming the journalist for the narrative he tried to push with all its negative implications, blamed HYBE/BHM instead? Are you serious? That isn’t how journalism works, or at least it shouldn’t be. HYBE/BHM can’t just go in and say “we don’t like this article, change it”, that’s not how freedom of press works, and also, do you realize how weird it is that you are blaming an Asian agency for a hit piece published by a western publication?

What was interesting though was that, as example, the online merch store Cokodive made a statement on their IG page in which they said the following:

So even they, who could’ve directly benefited from selling the magazine, decided that it wouldn’t be right because that article is a travesty. It’s a small thing in the grand scheme of things, yet it shows that it isn’t just ARMY who are being “sensitive little snowflakes who can’t take criticism” but also others outside the fandom who also see the disrespect within the article and its blatant negativity and lack objectivity.

Personally I saved the pictures but I refuse to give views directly to Billboard when it comes to the “Things you didn’t know about BTS” video as well as the behind the scenes clips of the members regardless of how beautiful they are. And I refuse to give their website and this article any more clicks than I already gave them while reading the article in the first place.

You can be critical of an artists success, you can wonder how they, specifically, managed to become as successful as they did, but what you can’t do is completely ignore shady practices of other artists while attacking those who don’t partake in any of them simply because they manage to fill stadiums and get #1s without those practices. At the end of the day, just like Forbes once said that BTS don’t need the Grammys but the Grammys need BTS, in the same way BTS don’t need Billboard and their shady articles and twts, but Billboard needs BTS for clicks and views and therefore revenue. 

As longtime ARMY it also saddens me having watched Bangtan become more and more disillusioned with the US market, as well as ARMY going through the same thing. Then again, like Namjoon said in the article, it isn’t their goal to become mainstream in the US, all they want is to have a big tour and that’s it. Nothing more.

As twt says: this article should’ve just stayed in the drafts.