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saeish · 3 months ago

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simon riley who is a walking contradiction.

“leave and go find someone else worthy of you” except his hips piston into you at such a quickened but deep angle as his arms trap you between the sheets in an undoubtedly possessive manner as if he was to go absolute insane if you were to ever leave him or even dared having such a thought like that.

it reminded you of that ‘bastard from your workplace’ who had offered you an evening out to dinner to discuss ‘work matters’ one friday night, simon would glare at you across the room leaning on the door frame in the process of your getting ready in a way that if any stranger was to witness such a glare they would of sworn he was your enemy “where ya going looking like that pretty girl?”. eventually you found out your coworker was trying to take you home to his and get into your pants. that day you came home to a pissed off simon blaming himself for letting you go, he’d already seen through the idiots plan - call it common sense but it was definitely part of the forward thinking he’d developed from time in the military. “stop getting yourself involved with miserable blokes who don’t even know a thing or two about how to treat a woman proper dove” his fingers delicately remove your necklace lightly tracing your neck with one rough finger. it took a lot trying to convince simon to let the situation go.

simon riley who always reminds you of the analogy he tends to make whenever he notices you get a bit too clingy. “ just a weed that happen’ to be kept alive beside a pretty flower”, you continue kissing down from his jaw to neck practically inhaling his musk in attempt to have it instilled into your senses. his words just end up falling on deaf ears every single time.

“leave and go find someone else worthy of you”, except he accepts the hand crafted bracelet you give him as you say quietly: “you don’t have to wear it, i just thought it would be a nice memory of us when you’re deployed”. he’s brought back to a point in time when you asked what his favourite colour as you run off in suspicion after getting your answer. now he looks down at the bead combination of your favourite colour with his closely inspecting the thing. you begin to mistake his intense stare at the bracelet as a disinterested one causing you to immediately withdraw your hand back muttering how you knew it was a silly idea, however a quicker gloved hand gets a hold of yours as he snatches the bracelet from your hand without thought. “sorry dove i ain’t mean it like that i’ve just never been gifted such a thing like this before, i really do appreciate it. it’s not silly at all.” moments after your wrists are engulfed by simon’s hands on the sheets as the bracelet adorns his own wrists. “better not hear news that you let some bastard in your panties when i’m gone, ya hear love?” you hastily nod as you throw your head back in ecstasy to then pull simon down to indulge in a deep kiss.

simon riley who feels it necessary to firmly claim you as his in front of his fellow task 141 members to avoid them making jokes about stealing his “pretty thing away from him”. oh how he regrets so deeply the time when he accidentally revealed a picture he took of you that one time you were in your pretty yellow sundress; it was something simon just couldn’t let go of or else it would of been gone in a blink of an eye so he decided to take a picture. as much as you hated being caught off guard in pictures simon’s photo was different, he managed to capture a radiant smile that was enhanced by that sundress you wore that day. such a prized possession reached the eyes of people that weren’t him. his intentions to show them pictures of the enemy base sight took a turn when in the middle of his swiping the men would catch a glimpse of your picture. “pretty lass you haven’t introduced us to yet?” johnny raises his brow with a wide grin on his face. “is she your missus? didn’t know you were into young women like her”, price lets out a chuckle and lightly elbows simon. “better shut your bloody mouths”. now they get a glimpse of your bracelet as it falls down from his wrist to his lower hand but none of them dare to say an inch. shit, and you were debating on how long the string should be and stuck with the smaller side of the scale. “did ya see the thing?” price mutters to johnny, “eh, what are you on about?” “the bracelet ya knob!”. johnny gives him an expression of sudden realisation letting out a long ’ahhhh’. “I know it ain’t one that you can get from ya local jewelry shop down the road, it’s definitely from the missus he still ain’t tellin us about”. “you guys are still going on about simon’s mystery woman?” kyle walks into the mess room shaking his head, “you know how simon will react if he catches you guys talking about her.” johnny gets off of his chair slapping a hand against the table, “oi we weren’t talking about his bonnie lass in particular but we were actually-

simon walks into the room with a flat expression on his face causing complete silence among the men way too quickly. “oi is there a problem?”

simon riley who eventually returns at the end of his deployment with the belief that no one was at home waiting for him anyways except to his irony you were there patiently waiting for him the whole time, waiting to welcome him back and accept him in such comforting arms. when he’s finally in your hold you urge him to stop his bluffs, stop all the pushing and insisting you to stay as far away from him as possible and you finally finally tell him you don’t care about whatever terrible thing he could possibly be in comparison to you, you just want to be able to hold him and truly declare that “you’re the only one worthy of me and you’ll always be the only one worthy of me”.

requests always open ･:*

#simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f reader #ghost x reader #cod x reader #simon riley smut #cod smut #simon ghost riley #cod x female reader #simon riley x female reader #cod mw2 #cod modern warfare #cod #ghost call of duty #simon riley x you #saeish writes

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leighbaylee · 8 months ago

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🤎 ₊˚⊹ — give you the world

parring ➵ harry potter x m!reader

summary ➵ enjoying the honeymoon phase in hogsmede.

warnings ➵ n/a

age of parring ➵ 14 - 15

extra ➵ teenage boys grappling the concept of love. credits to @cafekitsune for banners!

harry knew from the moment he woke up that he was going to have a wonderful day. the both of you came up with a plan to have him sneak into hogsmede and have a first date as the both of you officially have the boyfriends title.

as much as harry enjoyed your company, he was nervous to say the least. he thought on how he was gonna have to follow you like a lost puppy as you show him all the best places to visit at hogsmede.

in appropriate winter attire, hidden by his late father’s invisibility cloak, he began to walk. fiddling with his fingers, he did not notice the weasley twins, fred and george, snickering at his obliviousness.

he was making foot prints on the heavy layer of snow, it was like he wanted to get caught.

as soon was the twins finished building their cute snowman, the lunged at harry, dragging him through the snow.

❝ guys leave me alone! ❞ harry cried out.

❝ clever harry. ❞ replied fred, followed along by ❝ but not clever enough. ❞ from george.

❝ besides, we’ve got a better way. ❞

❝ guys cmon, im trying to get to hogsmede! i-i have a date! ❞

❝ we know! with y/n, oh we mean your boyfriend eh? ❞ the twins said simultaneously.

❝ don’t worry, we’ll get you there. ❞

❝ we’ll show you a quicker way. ❞

❝ if you pipe down. ❞

❝ let me go, cmon guys! ❞

❝ now harry, come and join the big boys! ❞

after escaping fred and george with the marauder’s map in his possession, he came out of the recommended one - eyed witch passageway, he found himself in honeyduke’s cellar.

he looked around, checking if the coast was clear, he lifted a tile slightly so only his green orbs could absorb his surroundings.

he lifted himself off the ground, tip toes to stairs that lead up to honeyduke’s. he quickly covered himself with the invisibility cloak as he stepped up, knocking a box of clutter in the process.

harry couldn’t believe his eyes. there were shelves upon shelves of the most succulent - looking sweets imaginable. creamy chunks of nougat, shimmering pink squares of coconut ice, fat, honey - coloured toffees; hundreds of different kinds of chocolate in neat rows; there was a large barrel of ‘every flavour beans’, and another of ‘fizzing whizzbees’, the levitating sherbet balls that ron had mentioned before.

you stood standby, although you and your boyfriend came up with the invisibility cloak hogsmede break in, you never planned where to meet. so made use of your trip to honeydukes to buy yourself some sugar quills.

you dropped some sliver sickles and one galleon on the counter and made your way to the door, only to be pulled by a unknown force, you smiled to yourself knowing it was harry.

it was your turn to drag him, a ❝ oomph! ❞ escaping his lips. coming to a secluded area, harry snatched the cloak off him and reached out, wrapping his arms around your neck.

❝ hey there harry. ❞ you said to him lovingly, wrapping your arms around his waist, with your neck resting on his shoulder.

it hurt your back a bit since the height difference between you and harry was noticeable, regardless of hitting puberty it was like he stunted in growth.

we aren’t gonna tell him though.

you let go and stunned harry by resting your hands on his sides giving them a hard grip.

❝ i’m glad you made it love. ❞ you pecked his check adoringly.

❝ i-im sorry if i took to long, fred and george- ❞

❝ don’t worry about it harry, what matters is that you are here now right? ❞ harry nodded in response.

❝ ready for our honeymoon? ❞ you asked him teasingly and he felt heat rising in cheeks and you intertwined your hand with his.

the both of you made it inside the popular pub, the three broomsticks, choosing a secluded area for the both of you, perhaps to snog comfortably, perhaps not.

you ordered two butter beers with extra cream on yours. you pulled out a sugar quill and handed it to harry

❝ thank you y/n. ❞ harry said softly, ripping into it right away.

❝ my pleasure harry. ❞ you cupped his face and kissed his forehead making his eyes flutter.

the both of you talked about how the term was going with dementors on the loose and his passion for quidditch.

how mesmerizing it was to see, practically the love of your life, ramble about quidditch, expressing his love for it using dramatic hand movements.

you caught him off guard by reaching out for his hand and placing it on your lips.

❝ w-what are you doing? ❞ he yelped out, not even bothering to smack his hand off you.

you kissed each knuckle, smiling against his palm.

❝ you’re so beautiful harry, im such a lucky boyfriend. ❞ you expressed your content in spending time with him alone

he giggled as you let go of his, now pampered, hand. he took a large chug of his last bit of butter beer before putting the glass down.

❝ i could say the same y/n, i mean your so handsome.. ❞ he whispered locking his emerald eyes in contact with yours.

you chuckled. ❝ i know! ❞ you then stood up grabbing your things as he did the same.

❝ oh shit harry, wait! ❞ you gasped quietly.

❝ h-huh, what’s wrong, do i have something on my face? ❞ he looked away embarrassed noticing the sticky feeling of butter on his lips.

you grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up at you and without hesitation you leaned down and kissed him.

harry’s eyes widened as you did so, this was your first kiss, on the lips at that.

he noticed you looked so.. so nonchalant.

you eyes closed, breathing in deeply. he doesn’t know it but, inside you where screaming internally.

harry responded by shutting his eyes and kissing back. which surprised you to say the least.

you let go first, readjusting his glasses for him.

❝ i love you harry. ❞ you whispered in his ear.

before he could respond you walked by him and turned back, pointed to the exit of the pub signaling to leave.

he stood there in a trance, not blinking once. before he could say it back, you had been already opening the door, holding it waiting for him to go though.

❝ w-wait y/n ! ❞

୨⎯ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡 ⎯୧

#harry potter #harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban #harry potter x male reader #male reader #m!reader #dom male reader #sub male character #leighbaylee #minaleigh

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tofupixel · 8 months ago

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Do you have any advice on how to get into pixeling larger scenes, or how you go about the process? I dabble in pixel art occasionally and am interested in pursuing it more, but whenever I try large scenes I always tend to fall flat

Love your art, by the way!

thank you!

my first step i always go get a ton of references. i think if you are struggling with pixel scenes it can help you to get some pixel art references too. for example if you arent sure how to render a tree, look it up on pixeljoint hall of fame im sure you can find something that inspires you.

this is the moodboard for my current knight crowley/statue azi piece im working on (software is called pureref btw. i have a dedicated monitor just for this but you can do transparency and overlay it if you lack space)

i think this is mostly preference but i always begin working with large areas of value/colour rather than an actual line sketch

i usually only save the wip process if im sending it to clients, so here is an example of how i worked through a commission

at this point im just going for the vibes. colour is more important and shape/size and having random pixels everywhere doesnt matter cos u can just remove them later !!

its kind of an anomaly/doomsday thing so i wanted the red sky and chaos all over

i work really quickly at this point and try for energy

just beginning to work my way through and detail things up. im still changing things around and adding more stuff in different places. its digital art so you can change things however you like, just keep moving forward

final ver sent to client after some revisions. pixel art is 99% rendering so you just need to keep pushing forward

i also want to say i did like 3+ years of sporadic studies. mostly studio ghibli and shishkin. if you have someone who inspires you you can study their work and figure out how they do it.

it cant be overstated how many of these i have done lol and im still not even close to where i want to be (its a process)

anyway sorry for the long post but you really should go for it. ive done the same concept like 3 times over my career (so far) cos i enjoyed it and want to come back to it now that im a little better. so u dont have to make it perfect the first time but doing it is better than not doing it!

sorry for the long post but i kinda got carried away anyway lmk if u want more specific tips i like talking about pixel art :--3 GL with your art

#qna #pixel art #art tutorial #tutorial #pixel art tutorial

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elfryona · 4 months ago

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Guide to picking up a plural system, for singlets

We've all been there. You're chatting with a cute plural girl and wonder if you have a chance with all of them. Maybe you've found an easily manipulated caretaker. Maybe an endogenic maid stole your clockwork heart. Maybe you met a front-stuck Tsukihime introject. Either way, you've got no better choice than following a guide by someone entirely underqualified to write one.

Before you start

Before you head system-chasing, I need you to hold your horses. You can't just go after a plural girl the way you'd go after a singlet trans girl, faking desperation and empathy. You need to relate to a system, and there's a quick little exercise for that:

Imagine a girl in your head. What does she look like? Don't just think of the broad strokes, like her figure and hair colour. What do her palms feel like to the touch? What kind of socks is she wearing? Is her neck thin enough to wrap your hands around?

This may take a while. Don't worry too much. If you can't come up with a whole new girl, you can borrow a fictional girl you're familiar with, too! Just don't skip any steps.

When you're ready, think of her personality and her voice. What would her most defining traits be? What distinct mannerisms does she carry with her? Is she soft-spoken, loud, or something in-between?

Now give her a name and introduce her to herself. Tell her who she is, what kind of person she is, and let her know that she'll live with you in your head from now on.

How to start talking

You've just invited a girl into your noggin, and you might be wondering why I made you do that. Unfortunately, that's just beyond what a singlet would understand—trust the process, and everything will work out grand.

Before asking out a plural system, you have to practise talking to a headmate. Thankfully, you don't need to look for another system for that—after all, what if you embarrassed yourself in front of their entire community?

No, you're going to practise with the new girl in your head.

I want you to remember the feeling of presence you get when someone you like is in the same room as you. Now try to feel that presence from your new friend. Some find it easier if you materialise her in a place in your head—others would rather feel her presence on the outside, like a ghost or some kind of hat man.

Now talk to her about anything you want. Remember, you need to entertain a lot of headmates to date a system—handling one girl is the least you can do! Ideally you want to give her your full attention for 30 minutes to an hour every day, but in any case, involving her in your daily routines will help a lot too! After all, she might want to front someday. Don't worry about that, though.

Actually getting a system

By now, you might've been doing the previous step for two weeks, maybe even a month. You're probably growing fond of the new girl, and she has definitely replied at least once, even though she's still struggling with language.

Maybe you're feeling ready to ask that cute system out. I'm sorry, but you have to wait a little longer!

Around this point, you might start sensing new, pretty well-developed presences entering your mind. I want you to invite them in and let them stay. Your girl needs more friends, after all!

Maybe these new presences will start talking with the girl in your head. If that's the case, you've developed a self-sustaining system and don't need to put nearly as much effort as before. Or maybe they pick up the slack while your girl is asleep—then talk to them, too! This too will help you score with a system.

How to keep it going

Now you might be thinking: "What the hell? Where's my system? What did you do to me?"

If you're thinking that, I want you to look inside: how many people live in your head? It's at least two, but more likely something like four. You've picked up a system.

Now you'll want to work on letting your headmates take the front. Everyone has their own approach, but it usually involves two steps: letting go of your body, and letting your headmate in.

You can start small. Let go of one hand, and let your most independent headmate move it about. Let go of the whole arm. Continue in the style of a mindfulness session, until it's your whole body getting taken over.

Or if you have experience with dissociation, just let go of your whole body at once! Project yourself into the outside world or retreat into the headspace, while your headmate takes over. It might feel like you're blending with them a little, but that's to be expected near the beginning. You'll get better with practice!

Once you get good enough at giving up front and end up in a sufficiently stressful situation, one of your headmates might end up stuck in front instead while you're locked inside your head. If this ever happens, you need to tell your new fronter to slide into my DMs before the headmates inevitably cannibalise what's left of your identity. No, I can't save you from getting snuffed, but I do know how to pick up a plural girl.

#i wrote this in a feverish haze past midnight #it's probably as poorly written as it is insane #but it does work as a guide. almost everything in this post is from the tulpanomicon or from systems i know

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electroluv12 · 3 months ago

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Obey Me! All Characters- What Would They Do When You Get Hurt?

Diavolo

goes into protective mode.

picks you up bridal style and carries you to the castle

has Barbatos care for you for atleast a few hours.

Kisses your booboos better.

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Barbatos

Gets medical wipes and wipes it clean

gets a plaster and puts it on the injury, and kisses the plaster and then your hand

cuddles you until you feel better if you want him to <3

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Lucifer

Picks you up and sets you on the bathroom counter

kisses it better if you want him to

puts a plaster over it and hugs you

lets you listen to his music if you want!

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Mammon

He panicks SO BAD

if its his fault he blabbers about being sorry

runs to Lucifer and asks for the plasters

puts cream on it for youuu

colours it green and yellow for money notes, grimm and goldie

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Leviathan

says something corny like 'Leviathan saves you! 20 HP' when he puts a plaster on

starts worrying if you cry

gets numbing spray if it hurts

cuddles with you in his bed after and says sorry if its his fault

lets you temporalily have one of his plushes <3

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Satan

Reads healing spells trying to get the injury to close up

if it doesnt, he will dry the blood up and then clean the injury best he can with a wipe

he will cuddle you after and give you a plaster <3.

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Asmodeus

He panicks! Is his sweetheart okay?!

gets a heart shaped plaster and puts it on you

kisses it SO many times

colours it in light pink and then draws mini hearts and stars on it because it looks fabulous to him

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Beelzebub

he def licks the blood off

gets you lots of food to share with you because he genuinely thinks injuries only happen when people dont eat enough

watches a movie with you

then realises he should probably give you a plaster so he goes to get one

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Belphegor

Too tired to do anything so he forces you into cuddles

kisses the place where you got injured and then sleeps with you

he would share his fav pillows and blankets with you though because he feels bad

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Luke (Platonic!)

He feels so bad!

gets you a plaster with cute cartoon drawings on it and helps you put it on

goes outside and plucks the prettiest flower he can find and gives it to you!

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Simeon

Kisses it better atleast three times for youuu

him and Luke bake you lots of nice sweets!

gives you a nice plaster that Luke signed :)

Gets you whatever you want while your healing!

Reads you some of TSL if your up for it <3

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Solomon

Like Satan, he tries to cast a healing spell on the injury

if it doesnt work he sprays something on it to speed up the healing process, and then he wraps it up neatly for you :)

offers to cook you something but you shut him DOWNNN

If your drained from the injury he tucks you into bed <3

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Raphael

Picks you up bridal style and takes you to your bed

gives you herb medicine then wraps the injury up

places a little kiss onto your head then tucks you into bed, rubbing the injury softly

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Mephistopheles

Grumbles about how clumsy and reckless humans are

if your really hurt he panicks and gets medical supplies for you

he gets warm salt water to clean your injury out with

gets a comforting layered plaster to put it on your injury.

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Thirteen

laughs but then realizes your really hurt

sits you down on a cushion and finds whatever sheet she can to stop the blood with

tries to cast a spell and probably fails, you both laugh at that later

takes you out to a coffee shop after!

Reminder

my requests are all open!

#obey me asmodeus #obey me simeon #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #satan obey me #obey me solomon #obey me luke #lucifer obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me thirteen #raphael obey me #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles #obey me beelzebub

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haikyu-mp4 · 7 months ago

Text

Just Dance

word count; 1307 – f!reader, talk about sexual activities but no descriptions

Your neighbour, Kuroo Tetsurou, wasn’t a nuisance all the time. Mostly when he had friends over. It was never quite clear what they were doing, but when did men ever need a reason to be loud?

However, you had the worst day at work today and listening to two men knock into stuff, pant and groan was not making it any better. Usually, you assumed they watched sports or played video games, but you weren’t sure what it sounded like this time. This friend was the loudest one, you had met him a few times already after he eagerly introduced himself in the hallway.

Now, you had enough. You made your way across the hall and left three knocks on the door, tapping your foot as you waited. A low headache was squishing your brain and the hallway felt smaller than it really was.

“Hey, hey, hey! It’s the neighbour!” A shirtless Bokuto opened the door, and you shouldn’t be surprised that he was so sweaty after all those sounds. Still, it made you a bit flustered, so you looked past him and tried to remember your words when you noticed Kuroo come up behind him. He still wore his work shirt, but the top buttons were undone and the tie hung loosely around his neck. Sweat covered the part of his neck that you could see, and the shirt clung to him in the most attractive way.

He looked hot.

So now you were scrambling for words as you looked between the two, wondering if you weren’t Kuroo’s type at all. Had they been… playing around… with each other?

Kuroo didn’t seem to understand exactly why you were so flustered, leaning an arm on the door frame and throwing you that classic smirk that reeked of mischief and charm. “Hey, kitten. What’s up?”

You looked from one man to the other and back, repeating this process a few times before settling with looking at your feet. “I’m sorry for disturbing your… activities. I was just wondering if you could keep it down,” you asked, voice a little shaky when trying to choose a word to describe what you assumed they did.

Kuroo frowned, taking note of how your hand came up to massage your temple. “Don’t say sorry, we’ll try to keep it down. Are you okay?”

Bokuto looked between you two and wiggled his eyebrows at his best friend, making said friend give him a look that said not now, go away. He did as he was told, turning around and leaving, but not without letting him know “I’ll set up for another round.”

Your cheeks flushed a deeper red, taking a step back. “Don’t worry, you two have fun,” you said before turning around and running back to your own apartment, swiftly closing the door behind you.

Kuroo was left in confusion, staring at where you just stood and replaying the moment in his mind once or twice before the colour drained from his face. He turned to Bokuto with a hand in his hair and a dramatic gasp. “She thinks we’re fucking.”

Standing in the living room, Bokuto was stretching his thighs to get ready for their next round, a preview of Black Mamba by Aespa playing on the TV when he bursts out laughing at Kuroo’s realisation. They were practising Just Dance because Kenma and Akaashi realised they liked teaming up with each other and challenged the leftover duo for their next game night. Such an innocent activity turned into a devastating misunderstanding.

Thankfully, they seemed to get the message and kept the noise to a minimum for the next few hours, letting you take a much-needed nap. When you did wake up, the headache was less prominent and more of a foggy haze that you would try to fix by drinking a glass of water or two.

While you were gulping down the second glass, there was a knock on the door. You wipe your mouth with the back of your sweatshirt and put down the glass before walking to the door. When you were almost there, the person on the other side knocked again and you huffed out a “Coming, coming,” before flinging the door open.

There stood Kuroo, a crooked grin under his nose and two boxes of takeout food from the closest Chinese restaurant. The second the smell wafted into the apartment, your stomach growled loudly. You had gone straight to bed earlier without eating and the hunger didn’t hit you before now. “Sounds like I came just in time. Care to help me eat all this food?” You opened the door wider and gestured for him to come inside.

“Come right inside, kind sir.” Kuroo had put on a sweatshirt over his messed-up shirt and switched to sweatpants, but your eyes still stuck to him like he wasn’t wearing clothes at all. Maybe he likes men and women? That would still give you a chance!

The two of you had eaten dinner together several times before, and it always came with loud laughter and some silly movie like 21 Jump Street. This time, you were not being as loud. “Sorry about Bokuto. He gets pretty loud.” Kuroo suddenly said after swallowing a piece of chicken. You chuckled under your breath.

“I didn’t mean to intrude on your business,” you excused yourself, glancing at him only to look back at your food when you saw that he was staring at you like he wanted to say something he shouldn’t. Kuroo who was usually so good with words wasn’t sure how to approach this. He put his food on the coffee table in front of the couch you two shared.

“We were playing Just Dance,” he blurted out, laughing nervously like he wasn’t quite sure. You stopped eating, almost spitting your food back out before forcing it down and putting the rest on the table like Kuroo did. Holding your hands out between the two of you, you made a weird face.

“You don’t have to lie, Kuroo.”

The man finally gave up, laughing loudly as he couldn’t quite believe he was in this situation. “In many ways, I wish I was lying! Bokuto and I were challenged to a Just Dance competition with our friends this weekend and wanted to practice.”

You started laughing with him, one hand covering your mouth. “Are you serious? I thought you guys had sex!” you admitted, letting your shoulders relax as Kuroo seemed to do the same.

“I know!” he groaned. Your laughter slowly blended into each other and you were left with soft grins on your faces. You licked your lips and leaned back, realising you had been leaning forward on the couch.

Kuroo seemed to do the opposite, leaning forward with one hand supporting him on the couch between you two while the other went to the back of your neck, quickly pulling your lips to his so he didn’t have to figure out what to say. You understood loud and clear and returned the emotions as you moved across the couch to straddle his lap instead.

That weekend, you laughed even more from Kuroo’s couch as you watched the guys dance. They were all pretty nice, and you were happy to get to know them. Kenma even asked you to do a duo with him, and Akaashi complained that he was replaced when you two beat everyone’s scores.

Everyone was having fun as Kuroo wrapped an arm around your waist, making some pouty comment about you not dancing with him yet and you just kissed the pout off his face followed by an evil laugh.

“Can you believe I thought you and Bokuto were fucking?” you giggled.

Why was it suddenly so quiet?

Oh, everyone was staring at you. They didn’t tell Akaashi and Kenma about that. How funny!

masterlist

#haikyu x reader #haikyu #haikyuu #hq x reader #fanfiction #haikyuu x reader #hq #haikyuu fluff #haikyu fluff #haikyuu x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro x reader

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tanix-dragon · 3 months ago

Text

Is That a New Guy or Am I Losing My Mind; or, A Beginner's Guide to Finding Headmates

Written by Roger de Camden of the Draconic Wizard Workshop

Hello, everybody! This is an essay for both plurals who might struggle finding, identifying, or confirming headmates, as well as people who are questioning whether or not they’re plural. Certain pieces of advice may apply better to questioners than established systems, and vice versa, but rest assured, it is intended for both!

This essay will be broken into several sections for various “phases” of discovery and working things out, but a disclaimer before we get to that: this is heavily based on our own experiences. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of guide. I’m going to try to make it such, but, well, I can’t make any promises, because there are infinite ways of being a system out there, and everyone’s a little different. This is just what I’ve found works for us, and, to a large extent, many of our system friends! That being said, if you try to start syscourse or invalidate other systems for any reason in response to this essay, I’m going to block you and that’s that.

Also, sorry if I go between spellings for words. I’m English, but the body is American and that means that I don’t know how to spell certain words anymore.

So! Onwards, towards discovery!

Step One: Getting an Inkling

The first step to figuring out whether or not you’ve got a headmate (new or otherwise undiscovered; I’ll mostly be calling them “new” as in “new to you”) is having an inkling that one might exist. This is mostly a passive process, and you’re probably familiar with it if you’re reading this guide. Maybe you felt something scuttle through headspace (if you have one) or through the back of your mind. Maybe you felt a presence looming behind you, mentally, that bolted when you “looked.” Maybe you had a very strong emotional reaction to something that makes no sense for you to react to, but would make sense for a character you’ve been really attached to in a show. Or maybe you slipped into an unfamiliar accent, had a loss of memories and woke up with nail polish on in a colour you hate, or just felt an opinion about something that doesn’t match your usual one. Sometimes, you may even “hear” comments about things going on in your mind.

There are a lot of little things that can tip you off. Most of them are going to be things that are misaligned with your own perception of yourself, your opinions, and your behavior. This is usually a sign that someone is co-conscious or co-fronting with you without you being aware of it. Some headmates are very sneaky this way, and some may not realise that they exist at all while doing this! Don’t hold being hard to notice or get a hold of against your headmates—many of them don’t realise that they exist, don’t know how to not be this way, or are doing it for what they perceive to be a good reason (this last one is especially common in disordered systems). Maybe they’re scared, or just not ready to be confronted yet. Don’t worry—remember, you have your whole lives to figure out everyone who’s in there, and the time will pass anyways! Take it easy.

One specific thing that tends to tip us off to a new fictive is that we realise that… no one is aware of running a character that we’re playing in a tabletop roleplaying game. Maybe someone started off running them, but they sure seem to be doing their own thing now! That character may be hard to “turn off” or “put on the shelf” when you stop playing them—and they may continue to make comments and have opinions about things in your life. This is a dead giveaway! Sometimes when we think about a character, we feel a “movement” or interest somewhere in our mind that doesn’t match anyone else’s pattern of thinking or interests, which also can be a giveaway that they’re scuttling around somewhere. Also beneficial, for us, is our synesthesia—every headmate has a colour associated with them, and when we get a thought pattern that seems to match someone but the colour is off, it can make us realise that maybe there’s someone else in here. For example, if someone were to be really interested in jellyfish, we might think that it’s Caspian, but if the colour comes back as red and not blue, then we know for certain that it’s not him.

This first inkling of a new headmate may be obvious or it may be subtle. You may question yourself repeatedly, but remember: if you feel like you are “accidentally faking,” that’s not how faking works. Faking must be done intentionally and on purpose. You could be wrong, yes, but being wrong isn’t inherently bad. It’s just that you were mistaken about something. Nothing wrong with that! We’re all mistaken about all kinds of things every day! Be kind to yourself while trying to figure things out.

Step Two: Are You There, Headmate? It’s Me, Your Other Headmate

Steps two and three are interchangeable in order, but I thought I’d put this one first because it tends to be the one that’s hardest and most distressing, rather than step three, which is about identifying who the hell your headmate is. We’ll get to that, never fear!

So, let’s say you think there might be someone in there. How can you tell for sure? How can you open communication? How can you get them integrated okay?

The bad news is that this depends heavily on the system. The good news is that there’s no need to panic, rush, or be afraid, because once again, you’ll figure it out eventually, and it will be okay!

My first suggestion is to take note of everything that’s made you think there might be someone else in there. Write it down, if that helps! Write down everything that seems to get the entity’s attention, if anything. Write down anything that might help you identify who it might be! In some instances, you might have a character that seems a little independent but you can’t tell whether they’re really a headmate or not. In my experience, this is often how many non-disordered systems (but it’s not exclusive to them!) realise that they’re plural. Knowing who it is will make this step easier, but it isn’t necessary! After all, if you know who it is, you can also write down things that might bait them into responding. Interests and friends of theirs are good examples.

Your goal in this step is to try to draw them out into doing things, speaking, or acting in ways that will give away that they are for certain there. For systems with heavy amnesia or dissociative barriers, this might be significantly harder, but my best suggestion there is to jump straight to trying to communicate, however you can—and this isn’t a bad approach for other systems, either. You can try internal communication, although you might get no response, or an abnormal one, if the headmate is new. For example, with us, new headmates usually respond to direct queries with anxiety—which, while not good for communication and not ideal for the headmate in question, does help us key in on the fact that they definitely exist. You can also try external communication, if internal communication isn’t working or is difficult for you. Write a note in a journal or a sticky note, or even in a notes app or a private Discord server. Sometimes, headmates can find replying over text to be easier. If you’re a high-dissociation and high-amnesia system who is trying to figure out if it’s someone old or new who is fronting and doing things while you’re unaware, leaving sticky notes places asking people to write down who’s fronting when they see it (if they even know who they are) might be helpful. Keep experimenting, and do what works best for you!

As a last resort for uncertain, new, or inexperienced systems, you can try something called “puppeting” on a suspected headmate, especially if you know who they are and just aren’t sure whether or not they’re here. A warning: this is rude and not advised under most circumstances, but sometimes it’s the only way to make absolutely sure that someone is in there with you, especially when you’re not used to it. Have an apology ready and mean it. Puppeting is when you try to force a headmate to do something, especially something unusual or out of character for them. For example, if I thought I might have my character Gorka as a headmate, but I wasn’t sure, I might try to call up a scenario involving Gorka and then try to imagine her doing something wildly out of character, that she would never, ever do. If I couldn’t get a response out of that, or if I had no idea who this new headmate might be, I might just try to make them physically do something—strongly imagining them doing a stupid dance or similar! No response doesn’t necessarily mean you do or do not have a headmate, but a strong response—usually of anger, offense, or “slapping” your “hands” away—indicates someone separate from yourself! Apologize immediately and then attempt to engage in communication once they’ve calmed down a little, or try to transition into it through an explanation.

There are a lot of reasons that a headmate might not respond to puppeting, though. They might be non-confrontational, or hiding their presence from you intentionally for any number of reasons. (Maybe they’re nervous, not ready to exist yet, afraid of how you might respond, afraid of accepting that they’re in a system—it could be anything.) In cases like this, you might just get discomfort instead of a strong response, which is easy to confuse for being your own rather than theirs. Try to sort out whether you just feel strange doing it, or if it’s someone else’s discomfort bleeding through. I know it’s hard, but that’s a difficult thing to give advice for, I’m afraid! Other reasons may be that they just dip from the front when you try (removing themself from your sphere of influence completely), or if they’re a character you frequently play, they might be so used to being pulled around into doing things that it doesn’t bother them, or bothers them so little that you don’t notice.

Usually, if you’re at the point of trying puppeting, there’s enough signs that this person really is a headmate to dissuade you from trying it once you’re a little more used to it. It’s a temporary and unideal tool that should leave your toolbox as soon as you become confident enough to identify new headmates without getting grabby with them. Undoubtedly, trying to establish communication is a better approach, if you can get it to work.

Usually, once we’ve properly spotted a headmate and made it clear to them that we know they’re there, one of two things happens: either they come sit in the front for a few days or weeks to settle in, let us identify them, and get used to being a full active member of the system, or they realise that they exist and have a panic attack. This “new headmate panic” can last anywhere from a few minutes to multiple days, and may fluctuate in strength. Sometimes, a new headmate might seem fine early on, but have this panic after a few days, weeks, or even longer. Be gentle during this time, especially if you yourself have a strong reaction—be gentle with both, or all, of you! Realizing that you’re in a system can be very distressing, as can realizing you have a new headmate, so try to be gentle, let yourself feel what you’re going to feel, and work through it in the best way you have. Try not to direct any anger or negative feelings towards anyone else in your system during this time, and just let the storm pass before really trying to get to know each other.

Step Three: Who Is This Guy, Anyway?

Once again, you can do this step before or after step two, but I put it here because I decided to include some tips for getting to know your headmate, not just identifying them (if there is anything to identify). If your system is introject-heavy, or if you’re asking yourself if you’re just really interested in a character or if they’re a new headmate, this is an important step! Who is this? Are they an introject of some kind? Are they something or someone else? Is there anything to identify, per se, or is it just a situation of getting to know a whole new person? This is a very, very different step depending on your system, and is going to skew very much towards my own experiences. I’m sorry about that, but I will do my best!

If you’ve already established communication with this headmate, even if it’s shaky, you can try to get information from them that way. They might be willing to give you a name, a code name, a colour, an aesthetic, likes or dislikes, something you can use to familiarise yourself with them or identify them from a list of “suspects” if you have such a thing. (We always do, because we’re almost all fictives, and we know our own patterns at this point.) For us, new headmates almost never actually identify, and just sullenly sit while trying to figure themselves out and will only confirm who they are once we figure it out. It’s sort of like playing a mystery game, assembling clues based on a myriad of factors. If you have some suspicions, just like the previous step, you can try to bait out responses by doing things that might interest who you suspect this headmate might be.

Again, I suggest writing things down! Write down likes and dislikes, things that get their attention, interests, even things that make them anxious or afraid. Whether it’s a case of identification or just getting to know them, this is invaluable information for interacting with someone sharing a head with you, and it may even be helpful for them as they get their feet under them.

Another invaluable tool is talking to people outside of your system. They can help you identify when you’re acting unusually, when you might have someone unfamiliar riding co-conscious, and even who that person might be. You may be too tangled up in your own feelings, your dissociation, or the desperation to understand who is in your head with you. It’s easy to get lost in the weeds and lose sight of the big picture, but another friend, especially another system that knows you well, can be extremely helpful! One of our system friends has clocked many a headmate of ours before we were even certain they were there—just “hmm, you’ve been very much like X lately” and they were absolutely right.

Regardless, taking notes on your new headmate, asking them about themselves, and sharing things about yourself are all important steps to getting to know them! They may be uncomfortable, they may distrust you, they may be afraid—or they could be friendly and excited to be here! It really depends on who it is and their comfort level. Don’t push—if they’re not comfortable talking yet, don’t make them! Let them adjust at their own pace and get to know them as they’re willing to let you. I know it can be distressing to have a totally unknown entity co-fronting with you, but sometimes it’s one of those things that you have to take a deep breath and carry on through until they’re willing to talk. I know you can do it! Talk through it with someone outside of your own head if it’s difficult to give yourself some fortitude if you need to. I know it helps me.

Step Four: Now What?

Let’s say that you’ve confirmed that you do have a headmate, and either have or are on the road to identifying them, if applicable. Now what?

As I’ve said before: be gentle with yourselves! Especially for a new or inexperienced system, and especially for someone who is just realising that they’re a system, this can be overwhelming, distressing, or any other number of emotions. Remember that having or gaining headmates isn’t inherently a bad thing, and while this all might take some getting used to, it’s going to be okay. You’ll figure out an equilibrium eventually, and it is absolutely possible to live a long, happy life with your headmates. Remember that you’re all in this together, and you’re a team.

People may not want you to notice them, may not want to be in the system, or may avoid attention as best they can for a lot of reasons, and trying to make them feel at home, or at least more comfortable, is essential. It can be scary being in a system all of a sudden, especially if they’re an introject or otherwise had a life outside or before this one. Maybe they don’t like the body, or are afraid of another headmate, or are terrified of a negative response from you or someone else. Don’t force these people into situations they’re not ready for! If you’re looking for someone, trying to identify them, or trying to help them, and you’re just causing a lot of distress, back off for a while. Let them calm down and come to you in their own time. Sometimes, you have to do the system equivalent of leaving cookies out on a plate and turning your back to them so that your new headmate can take them without being watched. Take things at the pace that you’re all the most comfortable with, and as always, be kind.

I really do suggest talking to someone about this process, if you can. Journal if you’d like, especially if you can’t trust anyone with this, or don’t feel comfortable doing so yet. Getting your words out of your head helps you sort them out a lot, especially in the case of systems, where a lot of people’s thoughts can get jumbled together. Writing them all down, even if you don’t know whose they are, can be helpful. We find that talking to other system friends is of the most benefit, and our new members are far more likely to speak to them first rather than us, because there’s a degree of separation and that’s more comfortable for them. Whatever works for you, do it! The idea is to get comfortable with each other, and with being here together.

Find things that your new headmate likes doing. Goratrix has a whole panel about this aimed at fictives, but essentially, if your new headmate doesn’t have reason to front and isn’t interested in anything, you probably won’t see much of them, and they may end up miserable. Make sure you engage with them and their interests. Let them make friends if they’d like. Get them snacks. Again: whatever works! This is going to depend very heavily on your system, so follow your gut instinct on this one, I think.

Absolutely essential, though, is to not repress anybody. I know sometimes getting a new headmate can be scary, especially if they’re unfamiliar, frightening, seemingly monstrous, or a persecutor, but remember: they’re probably just as freaked out as you are, if not more so, and they need patience and understanding. Statistically, if they’re doing something troublesome, they’re trying to help and just don’t know how, or are misguided on what “help” looks like. Be kind, and try to find a solution that works for everyone.

Past that… just get to know each other. Figure out how to live together and how to make your combined life the best life it can be. For us, there’s so many of us that someone new can almost always find a fast friend in someone else, and sticks with them for a while until they’re more used to the system and more confident fronting and doing things without their buddy. Other systems may be able to mimic this approach, or may need to do something very different. Again, again, again, do what works best for you! If parts of this guide seem unhelpful or counterproductive, ignore them! This is based on our experience of plurality, not yours. Always do what’s best for you, what helps the most of you, and what causes the least distress while still letting you function as much as you need to.

Being plural is a very personal experience, in a lot of ways, which is pretty funny because sometimes that personal experience is spread across two or twenty or five hundred people. It’s also a very personalized experience, meaning we’re all quite different. Your “now what?” might look very different from ours, and that’s okay. We can only do our best, and that’s always good enough.

I hope this is helpful to someone! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I may edit this guide in the future if it seems that I left something out or think of anything to add. =)

#tans journals #de camden's essays #plurality #endo safe #i MEAN IT THOUGH. NO SYSCOURSE.#and i'm sorry if this guide doesn't apply to your system or is unhelpful!#i could never hope to write something that is helpful to all systems of all types #this is just how we do it and how a lot of systems we know do it #so hopefully this is helpful to someone!#this is also up on our website in a less shitty format as is goratrix's panel i mentioned

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djarin · 1 year ago

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hi i'm sorry to bother you but do you have any tips on giffing dark indoor scenes? yours always look so good!

hi there! not a bother at all :) i can definitely try to explain the steps i usually take under the cut!

this tutorial will assume that you already know the basic steps of gif-making — if you don't, there are lots of great tutorials floating around on this site that can help you out! :)

here's the gif i'll work with to explain my steps, the bottom being the original and the top being the coloured/brightened version.

before we start, a general tip i recommend keeping in mind: if you want to brighten a dark scene, you'll want to get your hands on the highest quality download you can find. 1080p is decent, but if your laptop can handle 2160p 4k hdr files* without sounding like it's about to explode, that'll get you even better results!

(*colouring hdr 4k files requires a different set of steps — the scene will appear washed-out on photoshop, so you need to make sure that you don't end up whitewashing anyone if you do choose to work with this type of file.)

since most of my downloads are 1080p, i'll use this type of file in this tutorial.

the first step of my gifmaking process with 1080p files is almost always the same no matter what scene i'm giffing. i make a brightness/contrast layer and set the blending mode to screen:

now my gif looks like this:

depending on the scene and how washed out it looks after this layer, i'll play around with the opacity. for this gif, i didn't touch the opacity at all. use your best judgement for this, because every scene is different!

i find that dark indoor scenes are usually tinted in yellow or green. one of my first goals is to try to fix the undertone of this scene before focusing on brightening it any further. i go to colour balance for this, and play around with the midtones, shadows, and highlights.

again, every scene is different, so the amount to which you use colour balance will differ, but for this specific scene, my goal was to neutralize the yellow. i focused particularly on the midtones and shadows of the colour balance layer, moving the scales to the opposite of the reds.

doing so will help with neutralizing the yellow. the only reason i moved the scales towards magenta and blue (therefore making it a bit more red than less) rather than green and yellow in shadows was because i wanted a darker contrast in the blacks. moving them to green and yellow made the overall scene more yellow since there were so many dark spots that shadows affected. (you'll see what i mean when you start experimenting with your own gif — this part of the process really just depends on your preferences!)

our gif might not look that much better yet, but it will soon! our best friend channel mixer is gonna help us out. for an in-depth post about how to use this adjustment layer, i recommend checking out this tutorial.

i'm someone who prefers to make more than one layer for the same adjustment layer for a reason i can't even explain (i just find that it helps me stay more organized). so don't think of this process like i can only use this layer once so i MUST fix it NOW. you can create multiple layers of the same adjustment layer, because every layer on top will affect the ones underneath it.

since my priority is getting rid of the yellow tint, i went to the Blue section of the channel mixer and increased it in all of the scales:

this step alone has helped us out so much, because look at our gif now!

not only does the background look less yellow, but so does izzy's skintone.

now i'm going to focus on trying to brighten the scene even more without destroying the quality. the levels layer can actually help out a lot with this.

the amount to which i move each toggle differs per scene, and i think experimenting depending on your gif works best for this layer.

side note: i prefer not to use the ink droppers on the side because the contrast in the result usually ends up feeling too strong for my preferences, but if you find that this works better for you, then go for it! basically, the first dropper with the black ink should be clicked before you select the darkest part of the scene that you can find, and vice versa for the third dropper with the white ink — click it, and then select the brightest part of your scene.

curves is the next layer that does fantastic work! unlike the levels layer, i do actually use the ink droppers for this. it's the same concept, with the first dropper being used on the darkest part of the scene, and the third dropper on the brightest.

try to think of curves as something that not only further brightens your scene, but also helps with the colour neutralizing process.

i grab the first dropper, then click the darkest parts of the gif that i can see. depending on the undertone of the blacks that you're clicking on, the tint of your gif might actually change significantly. this is why i prefer to click once, then undo the action if i don't like what it gives me. izzy's leather jacket was the sweet spot for this gif.

when i'm satisfied, i make another curves layer and use the third dropper to click the bright/white parts of the scene. for this gif in particular, the lights in the background were a good fit because they carried a yellow undertone — this meant that my curves layer actually helped to further neutralize the yellows in the scene as a whole!

(i manually dragged the curves graph upwards for the third dropper to make it brighter. i don't need to do this if the dropper does this for me automatically, but since the lights were pretty bright, it only changed the tone of the scene and didn't increase the brightness — hence the manual step.)

pat yourself on the back, because this is what our gif looks like now!

this is good, but it's not great — there's still just a bit too much yellow in the scene for my liking (sorry, i'm picky! :P)

i created another channel mixer layer and played with the toggles until i was satisfied:

ta-da! the gif as a whole is much less red/yellow now:

this is when i start fixing the colouring now — namely, his skin tone. selective colour will be your best friend here. i wanted to make his face just a tad brighter and less of a yellow-ish magenta shade, so i focused on the reds and yellows.

then, out of habit, i created another selective colour layer and took out more of the "yellow" in the whites to make them whiter, and increased the black (just by +1, since the contrast is pretty good enough already).

note: i switched to "absolute" for these two colours. basically, relative = less vibrant colour manipulation, and absolute = more vibrant/stronger colour manipulation. i prefer to stick to "relative" for fixing skin-tone since "absolute" can be a bit too strong for that.

our gif looks like this now!

his face looks brighter and much less yellow, so i'm satisfied!

this next step is not mandatory at all — again, i'm just picky and despise yellow-tinted scenes. i personally believe that indoor scenes that are yellow/green tinted make them look more dark than they actually are, so i do my best to get rid of these colours.

i also don't always do this, but for this gif, i just simply went to hue/saturation, selected the yellows from the drop-down menu and decreased its saturation.

be careful not to do this too much. depending on the quality of your download, this can significantly decrease your gif quality. i tend to worry less about this when i'm working with 2160p files, but again, those files require an entirely different set of steps when it comes to brightening/colouring.

since this was a 1080p file download (and one that was actually less than 1GB, oops, don't do that), i played it safe and decreased it by -39 only.

note: you also want to be cautious of colour-washing skintone when it comes to this step. i find that another selective colour layer can help perfect the skintone in case the yellow drains out of it too much, but skip the hue/saturation step if it's too difficult to work with — better to be safe than sorry.

anyway, this is the final gif!

that's usually what i do when it comes to colouring dark indoor scenes! i hope this tutorial makes sense, and if you have any further questions, don't hesitate to reach out! :)

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jasmines-library · 10 months ago

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This might be a weird request, but can you take your favorite song and make a batfam story with it? I saw the “Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?” fic and immediately folded I loved it so much <3 <3 <3

The Ghost of You.

YES YES YES! It's really hard for me to just pick one song, but this came to mind so i thought i'd give it a go. Also this probably wasn't what you were after anon, so i'm sorry. You're all going to hate me after this :(

Summary: After your death, the batfam struggle to navigate their lives without you.

Warnings: This fic deals with death (mildly graphic) and the aftermath, contains suicidal thoughts, grief, unhealthy ways of processing grief and some other heavy content so please be advised.

Word Count: 2k

⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤

I never said I'd lie and wait forever

If I died, we'd be together

I can't always just forget her

But she could try

Tim was the first to arrive too late.

Your body had already careened over to the side, collapsing into a puddle of your own blood. Tim faltered as he made his way over to you, gawping at the arrows that protruded gruesomely from your stomach, your shoulder and the back of your knee. That was what had taken you down: a well placed shot to the back of the joint. The other two followed as insurance. To ensure that you would bleed out.

And even though Tim was right there, he faltered. Even though he could see the way your chest spluttered as you fought for air, he couldn’t bring himself to move. His hands shook. His lips trembled. And if anyone was focusing hard enough they would have been able to see the glint as water collected in his eyes.

Then came Jason, grappling down from the building. He had heard it before he saw it. Grimacing at the way your cry was followed by two more, he was gripped tight by a fit of rage. Mercilessly he took out the two crooks in front of him so he could dash to your side. He should have been helping Nightwing and Batman, but at that moment all he could focus on was your safety.

He managed to gather himself up enough to try and press around the arrows, but your blood pooled through the fabric of your suit and your breathing had slowed to nearly nothing. Tim had finally got himself to move and he was sure that he heard someone call your name. Though he couldn’t remember if it was himself or Jason. Either way he too pressed down harshly around the arrow to try and staunch the blood flow. And it should have hurt. God, you should have been thrashing and screaming. But you just lay there, spluttering as you faded. Tim didn’t know what was worse; but he came to the conclusion that the sound of your agonised scream was better than waiting in this near listless silence.

“Just hold on, Raven.” Jason. But you would have never guessed it from the way his normally firm voice wavered. “We’re going to get you to help…j-just a little longer.

Then you moved. Your hands shifted to lay atop of theirs and you strained your head to see them. Tim’s stomach dropped as you looked at him with your hooded eyes and small smile. A gesture of consolidation. You were trying to tell them that it was okay. It made Tim want to hurl. How could you be thinking of them in a time like this?

“Y/N..?” Tim muttered. He should have used your vigilante name. He didn’t care.

“s’okay” you slurred as your eyes fluttered at him. You could no longer make out much as your vision became a blur of colour. Jason palled at the sight of the crimson that stained your teeth as a sickening contrast to the paleness of your skin. He wanted to look anywhere else, like to Dick and Damian who were still trying to take down the criminals who just wouldn’t quit, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of your face.

“S’gonna b-be ok..”

“No…” Tim was crying now. They both were. Neither made any effort to try and hide it.

“P-promise you won’t do…any’thn stupid-” you mumbled.

Tim brushed his thumb over your hand. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to but he would. For you. “I promise…”

You wanted to turn your attention to Jason, but your eyes fluttered and you could feel your strength fading.

“ Love you…” Then, your chest rose… and fell as you took your final breath.

At the end of the world or the last thing I see

You are never coming home, never coming home

Could I? Should I?

And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me

The manor was silent. Deathly silent.

And even though the manor was the busiest it had been for a while it still seemed so empty. It was almost like the minute that your heart stopped pumping, so did all of the life in the manor.

Dick hardly slept. He spent his nights staring blankly at the ceiling, letting his thoughts carry him away because if he didn’t his mind would torture him with pictures of you. He had thought about it. He had thought about it a lot actually. Especially after he had seen your body being lowered into the ground sealing you into nothingness. You were gone.

Dick remembered Jason and Tim uttering something about promising not to do anything stupid. But he wasn’t sure. They didn’t talk much anymore. He thinks he remembered them saying that they had promised you. But he hadn’t. And so the thought crossed his mind often. If he was only brave enough to do it. Oh, what he would jive to see even just a ghost of one of your charismatic grins again. Or to hear your laughter as you sang to your music poorly in your room across the hall. You often used to keep the door open, just a crack as a form of comfort blanket and that let your voice carry through the hall. But now the door was firmly closed.

Pull yourself together. Dick blinked away the film that formed in his eyes. Though no tears fell; he had cried himself dry a long time ago. You wouldn’t want this. Dick had tried to tell himself. But it seemed everything he did reminded him of you. Reminded him how he was never going to see you again. And it hurt. You were still so young. You had your entire life ahead of you to live and Dick yeared to have seen it. But it was ripped away from you cruelly like candy from a child.

Ever get the feeling that you're never all alone?

And I remember now

Your bloodstained face was burned permanently into Tim’s mind. It was there every time his eyes drifted closed.

Each time he finally got himself to sleep, there you were. Crying out his name.

He should have been quicker. Tim scolded himself often for this. He thought that his fumble could have been the difference between you living and dying. But of course, he had frozen. His body had refused to function no matter how much his brain screamed at him to just move! But he was frozen. He remembered watching fearfully as Jason, who was much further away, dropped to his feet from above and tried feebly to help. If only he had been just that little bit quicker. If only he had been paying attention then you wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place.

He was sitting in the batcave, staring blankly at the monitors. Not because he wanted to but because someone had to. Though him being there wouldn’t have made much difference. All of the shapes on the screen had blurred into one colour.

Tim had never felt more lonely sitting in the plush chair because usually you would be there with him. Cracking a joke or two, or reminding him he needed to go to sleep with a gentle touch on the shoulder or his hand. Sometimes Tim thought he could still feel it. A phantom pain: like when someone loses a limb.

You had become such an important part of his daily life that his body yeared for your touch or the sound of your voice. He yearned for the warmth of your fingers, but then remembered that the last time he felt them, they were ice cold and covered in your own blood.

At the top of my lungs in my arms, she dies

She dies.

Jason was angry. He had never handled his grief well, even from a young age. And his coping mechanisms were far from healthy. Whilst his brothers spent their time reserved to themselves, Jason was searching for revenge. But he had promised you he wouldn’t do anything stupid.

So he found his solitude in a punching bag.

Your scream piercing through the air. A punch to the bag so hard that it swung violently on its bolt.

The feeling of your blood trickling around his fingers. A right hook.

Your cold and clammy skin against his as he removed his gloves to trail his hands along your face. Another.

Your last words falling from your tongue. Punch.

Your chest rising as you spluttered. Punch. punch.

Your last exhale. Punchpunchpuch.

He kept going until his knuckles were a mangled and bloody mess and he felt like his jaw might snap from how much he had been clenching it.

Jason didn’t bother to wrap his knuckles as he trudged towards the shower, despite how much they burnt and throbbed. But for some sick reason he couldn’t wrap his mind around, he savoured it. Almost as a punishment for not being able to save you.

When he slipped into the shower, he still couldn’t stop the flood of images ricocheting around his head like a broken record that still somehow managed to play no matter how scratched up it was. He thought he might have found some solace in the feeling of the water trickling over his skin, but all he found was his mind confusing it for the feeling of your blood on his skin.

Jason let out a cry of anguish, bringing his fists to clench at his hair as he sank to the floor and began to cry.

And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me

For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

If I fall, if I fall down

Damian had seen a lot of death in his life. That came as part of being a human weapon. But no death tore him up as much as yours.

He would forever remember the cold that gripped him when he saw Jason with your body in his arms. He had never felt so empty as Bruce tried to pull him away. Damian had fought against him, nearly clawing at his father to try and get to you, but Bruce just held him close and pressed Damians face into his chest to shield him from the horrors in front of him. But it was too late. He had already seen your mangled body and he couldn’t help the way his body trembled as he clung to Bruce like a scared little child.

And Damian would never admit it, but he was scared.

Scared of how everything would play out now that you were gone. Scared that you were angry at him for being so far away. Scared that because he wasn’t there when it mattered most, that it might happen again.

He should have been there. Damian cursed to himself.

He had been on the other side of the building trying to deal with the last of the crooks. Dick was with him for a time, but had finished up much earlier than Damian and had fled as soon as possible. Damian should have picked up then that something was wrong.

But he didn’t.

And he was so frustrated with himself for not. He should have been better. Should have taken the criminal down with one blow and followed his brother to your side. Surely with all four of them there, you would have made it… right?

He wasn’t so sure.

He wasn’t sure of much anymore. No one was. And they all felt so betrayed because you being by their sides was one of the things that kept them going everyday. And now…

One thing they did know for certain though was that you were gone. And no matter how much they yearned for you, you were never coming home.

🦇 BATFAM TAGLIST:

@aestheticdaisies

@hell-o-kittys

@mamapucket

@xxrougefangxx

@hearts4robs

(I'm sorry.)

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owlyjules · 6 months ago

Note

I love love LOVE your watercolour work! Are you still using the strathmore paper in your faq or have you switched to something else? (I’m shopping for new paper rn - trying to work out what’s a tool problem & what’s a me problem!). And would you every consider doing a little walkthrough of your process? Do you work in lots of thin layers? Your illustrations really evoke lovely stories so I’m always happy to see them. Have a great day!

hello!! Sorry It took so long to reply anon! To start, Thank you so much! Alright now about my matierial, Not much has changed but I am not using Hot press paper (Saunder Waterford Hot press 300g/140lb) the most nowadays!

Its very similar to the Hot press from Strathmore I liked so either are not a bad choice! (And cold press from both brand are still a perfectly good choice! especially if you want more texture in your paper!)

Now for my process! I normally start with colored pencils lines for all my art. You can choose one color or many! I try not to choose too dark of a colour so that it blends in better.

Then its paint time! Watercolour is all about layers! (Like Onions, Like an Ogre) Patience is key with watercolours! Believe me I still to this day add way to much water/paint because I am excited to do a certain effect or want to get that wash right. But there is always a way to make it work! Half watercolours for me is to work with the little accidents water or paint caused. So I start with a pale color (often a soft yellow or orange or a blue but Go wild!)

and then I build on it!

and you just continue to do that, waiting in between paint layers for them to dry (Or almost dry depending of the effect) . You can work on another section during that time, or (My favourite thing) just sit back and watch a long 4 hours video essay.:) Then once the paint is done I normally define and add some details with Colored pencils again! Then I scan the art and will adjust a bit or go full on mix media in procreate! It depends on the piece! And then you have the full piece! Hope this helps!

#my art #the ghosts are asking #anon #tutorial #art tips #art help

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subbmissivesuccubus · 6 months ago

Text

Shinichiro X Fem Reader

That is another fan request I had written for a patreon member! I've never watched Tokyo Revengers but I hope I did the character justice. Enjoyy

Summary: Shinichiro was terrible with women and the people around him knew it to. So, naturally, they hired him a stripper

“I know your nervous, but you can relax a bit. I’ll take very good care of you~”

Shinichiro gulped, his heart somehow pounding even louder as you- the stripper that was hired by his friends as they were tired of seeing him get rejected by so many women- leaned closer to him, gripping onto his thigh tighter. He flinched at the contact, trying to remember the last time he got so close to a woman as stunning as you.

Fuck. Was he going to survive this?

He was nervous. So so so so nervous. He once again considered calling his gang and asking them to cancel the plan they made for him but he once again stopped himself. He must have looked really pathetic to his men if they resorted to…well…this. He knew he wasn’t the best with girls, but he wasn’t that bad, right?

…moving on.

Turns out his friends knew him better than he expected as you were exactly his type and he didn’t know what to do with himself when he looked at you. Your beautiful body, your gorgeous skin and hair, those mesmerising eyes… Maybe he was trying too hard to not look down at your chest.

With the way you were leaning against him, your bra clad tits were swinging in front of him, your voluptuous and sinful body making him go red in the face even if he was fixing his eyes against your face. You had walked into the shop confidently, the only people in there for the day being the two of you and had requested him to set up the lights and music as you got ready. Ten minutes later, you walked back into the room wearing a sinfully sexy piece of lingerie in his favourite colour. The bra and panties were hugging your curves wonderfully, a tad bit tight so it pressed against your flesh and made your breasts and butt pop out all the more.

He gasped as you suddenly crawled onto his lap, his mind barely processing the mood music and lights that all enhanced your act. His hands instinctively went to your waist and that alone got his cock to jump in his pants. Shinichiro swore he almost had a heart attack as you straddled him, your legs on either side of him.

“Is this your first time?” you asked him, a cheeky smile on your face.

“Y-Yeah…” he responded, his face flushing now in embarrassment, “Sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry.” You said sweetly, bringing your hand up to caress his cheek, “In my line of business, half of my customers are virgins. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Just try to relax and enjoy.”

With a teasing grin, you grabbed his hands before gently pulling them forward and placing his palms on your butt.

Shinichiro’s cock immediately hardened.

You giggled as you felt his erection against you, placing your hands on his shoulders before you started to move your hips. The man gasped as he felt the sensation of your clothes cunt pushing against his cock, the sensation feeling heavenly even through his pants. If this was enough to get his balls throbbing- he could only imagine how much better your…your…

His fingers tightened on your ass as his body tensed from his imagination getting the better of him. He swore as his fingers sunk into your ample flesh, his brain finally processing that he was grabbing and groping a beautiful woman’s butt. You had a smile on your face, your giggles like music to his ears. It must be a huge ego boost to turn him into the blubbering mess he is. He threw his head back as you ground against him more incessantly, your body moving in time with the music playing in the background. But he quickly snapped his head back down, reminding himself that he shouldn’t miss a single thing. His dreams were finally coming true!

The panties were pressed wonderfully against your pussy, the lace so snug between you lower lips that his mouth watered with need, wanting nothing more but to slide the fabric aside and see you bare but he held himself back. He needed to enjoy himself to the fullest.

The lighting that was set up gradually started to change colours, shifting from red to pink to orange- all of which you looked absolutely divine in. He grasped your butt tighter, heart pounding as you continued to grind against him and he was able to feel your muscles move underneath his touch. It was an amazing feeling to grasp and hold somebody else without murderous intent.

“Fuck yeah~” he moaned, his cock completely hard and straining against his pants, “You got such a nice fucking ass.”

“You like it?” you asked like that was a question that needed answering, “You can be rougher~ Go on, give me a spank~”

Gritting his teeth to prevent himself from panting like a dog and completely acting like a fool, he took your advice and lifted his palm up. Taking a deep breath, he swung it down and gave you a sharp spank. His hand collided with your perky butt, the crack quite soft as he was holding himself back, not wanting to hurt you with his strength accidentally.

But apparently, that was what you wanted.

“Mmmph- harder~” you moaned out, tossing your head back as you started to pop your hip, twerking against him, “Spank me harder! I can take it.”

“A-Are you- ah- sure?”

“Positive~”

So he did it again, this time with considerably more force and the squeal you let out from the contact almost made him cum in his pants. Without realising it himself, he started spanking you in time with the beat, the song being considerably slow, so each time he smacked your beautiful behind and copped a feel, it also helped you along with moving with the music.

You eventually surged forward a bit, teasingly shaking your breasts right in front of his face as your hips moved side to side, clothed pussy still griding on him. His nose pressed against your soft chest, his warm breath fanning against you as his eyes trailed to your deep cleavage and the oily glean shining off of you. You gradually pushed forward even more and he happily pushed his face in between your tits. He could feel your groan through your breasts, the man in heaven as his face was squished between your soft, beautiful globes. He shook his head from side to side, having always wanted to motorboat a beautiful babe after seeing it happen so many times in pornography- and he was happy to conclude that it felt as amazing as it looked.

But just as quickly as he received the pleasure, it was taken away from him in a flash. He gasped, mouth open and wanting as you suddenly got up from his lap. He saw the way your eyes trailed down to his crotch, licking your lips as you gazed at his obvious erection. But without saying anything and your body still swaying in time with the music, you rolled your hips and turned away from him, giving him a view of your back.

Shinichiro took deep breaths, trying to get a hold of himself as he watched you dance, his eyes homed in on you and he needed to remind himself to blink. His breath got caught in his throat as he watched your arms go towards your back, giving him a teasing look over your shoulder as you swiftly unbuckled your bra. Mouth-watering, he watched as you slowly and sensually started pulling the bra off of you, straps sliding down the soft skin of your arms before it dropped to the ground.

You still faced away from him, your bare back glistening under the changing lights. It drove him crazy to know that your bare breasts were out but you were teasing him, not allowing him to look at you just yet.

“Want more?” you asked, a tilt in your tone.

“Please.” He begged and he couldn’t help but chuckle. There were a lot of people out there who’d never imagine him to be someone to beg.

“Well, since you asked so nicely~”

You slid your hands over your body, gliding it over your waist and hips before you paused at the waistband of your panties. He watched with bated breath as you slipped your thumb into your underwear, still shaking your hips in time with the music which had turned a little bit slower. Shinichiro bit his lower lip as you slowly, slowly started pulling it down. He gripped the armrest of his sofa tightly, fingers digging into the fabric as peeks of your ass was revealed to him. You were being a tease, occasionally pulling it back up before pushing it down again, delaying the reward of your beautiful ass.

But finally, finally, you pushed your panties off, your butt having a slight jiggle once you slid it down. Shinichiro put his closed fist against his mouth, biting down on his skin to prevent himself from making noises that were unsightly for a man of his reputation. You bent down to push the panties down your leg but to torture him even more, you slipped a hand between your legs to cup your pussy, covering yourself up so he couldn’t see your cunt as you bent over in front of him. But, he did see your pretty asshole wink at him before you stood up and he needed a few seconds to process what you were saying to him after seeing a brief glimpse into heaven.

“For you~” you said, still facing away from him as you tossed your panties onto his lap, Shinichiro blinking a few times before he picked up the soft fabric and swiftly pocketed it, his brain working slower from overload. You were naked. Completely naked. There was a sexy naked woman in the middle of his shop. Your tits were out. Your pussy was out. Your sweet, spankable ass that was a light shade of red due to his spanking was staring right at him and he was afraid to blink lest he missed something.

“I always love seeing that expression~” you said, bringing your hands to the part where your thighs meet your butt, cupping your cheeks from below before you started jumping it up and down, your flesh jiggled lewdly, your butt large enough to hide your privates but he knew he was only minutes away from seeing all of you.

…Hopefully.

“Slack jawed and so, so horny for me. It’s the best!” You continued, shaking your legs so your ass cheeks clapped together, Shinichiro groaning from the sight and sound.

“Fuck me-“ he gasped, finally, remembering how words worked, “you’re driving me crazy!”

“Good~” you responded, smacking your own ass with one sharp hit, “Ready to see more?”

“Please-“ Shinichiro begged, “I need it- I need you.”

“Wonderful.”

Finally, your hips rolling with the sound of the music, you turned around to face him and Shinichiro had to remember how to breathe. Your tits were perfect- the perfect size and shape with pretty nipples that had already hardened. He knew your breasts were amazing from the brief motorboating he did but this- this was beyond imagination. His mouth watered as he stared at your nipples, wanting nothing more but to take them in between his lips and suckle. He wondered if he could get you to lactate…

His eyes slowly but surely wandered down more, his heart pounding so loud in his chest and his cock so hard it was starting to hurt him. Oh. Oh yes.

A pussy.

The first ever pussy he’d seen in real life.

And she was perfect.

He leaned forward to get a better look, his mouth open and panting as he stared at your cunt. So cute and pretty with puffy pussy lips- oh- he could see your wetness from here and he was glad he got you turned on just from his presence. His hands reached up instinctively and grasped your hips, grateful that you allowed him to touch you as he pulled you closer…and closer…

Oh, he was eye to eye with your cunt, so close that he could feel your body heat fan his face. He took in every nook and cranny of your beautiful cunt before he leaned forward, ready to give her a sweet kiss-

When you suddenly fisted locks of his hair before pulling it harshly, making his head snap back (he may or may not have moaned from the pain). “Fuck- you-“ he cursed, practically foaming at the mouth as you once again teased him, feeling his patience crumble. He was so close! So close to feeling that sweet kitty against his lips and you- “Well, since I showed you mine, I think it’s only fair that you show me yours, no?” you asked, tugging on his hair tighter, “Isn’t your poor cock hurting?” “…Fuck. Get him out then.” Shinichiro demanded, feeling a bit more confident as his horny brain took over. He spread his legs wider, lifting his shirt up a bit to show off his erection while also giving you a peek at his toned body.

“Somebody’s feeling it, hmm?” you asked, letting go of his hair so you could sit on his lap again, keeping a bit of distance so your hands could comfortably slide between your bodies to reach his cock, “But I like it. Here, have a treat for being such a good, patient boy for me~”

Shinichiro groaned in happiness as you pushed your chest against his face again but this time, he was waiting with a wide, open mouth. He moaned against you as he felt your nipple against his tongue, taking in as much boob as he could, gently pressing his lips against your soft skin. He closed his eyes and enjoyed himself as he got to suckle on your breast, sucking you in like he was trying to eat you. His other hand came up and grabbed your other tit, eyes rolling to the back of his head at how soft and wonderful you felt against his palm. He’d always dreamed of this moment but he could never fathom just how incredible tits felt.

You bit down a moan as the man mouthed at your breast like a horny beast, slobbering over you like you were his last meal. He had little technique but his enthusiasm made up for it, the harsh suckles he was giving your nipples, making your back arc. While you were a stripper by profession, his friend paid you a lot, lot more to take Shinichiro’s virginity which was why you were allowing him to touch you in ways your regular clients wouldn’t be able to.

Speaking of which, your hands finally undid the straps of his sweatpants and you grabbed it, along with the waistband of his underwear and pulled down. His hard, aching cock sprung out in full force and you couldn’t help but gasp. How is this man, which a cock so big and looks so handsome, a virgin? How were women not begging to be fucked by him on the daily? His dick stood at attention, his angry red tip leaking out so much precum it was dripping down his thick shaft. His balls were big and full, throbbing with need, ready to unload.

You tried to pull away a bit but Shinichiro followed your body, refusing to separate his mouth from your breast. You allowed him to suckle a bit more before you once again grabbed him by the hair, pulling him away from you. The man was a mess, his face red and his pink, a string of saliva breaking between the two of you.

“Why’d you stop me?” he growled, a hungry look in his eyes, “I want more!”

“I’m sure you do,” you said, trailing a finger from your other hand across his jaw and gasping as you felt his whole-body shiver underneath you, “But wouldn’t you want to play with…something else?”

Hand still in his hair, you used the grip to move his head down, making him look at his own lap. The man’s eyes widened before clouding over in desire and you swore, you could pin-point the moment he was lost to his lust. His dick was out and throbbing and right against it, so tantalisingly close- was your pussy. Seeing her while you were standing up was nothing in comparison to your flower being spread wide open for him to gaze at every nook and cranny. You pushed your knees apart wider so he could get a better look at the beautiful colour of your cunt, your pulsing hole just begging to be filled, your slick, wet walls and of course, your adorable clit at the top.

His hands trembled as he slid them down your body, over your waist, your hips, landing on your thighs before one of them moved to your cunt. He took a deep breath in, eyes widening as his fingers gently touched your pussy before greedily sliding between your lower lips. The moan you let out was heavenly, Shinichiro using two fingers to spread your lips apart even more to give him a better view. Oh. You were so perfect.

He couldn’t help but slip a finger inside of you and he gasped at how easy it was, his digit pushing in with no resistance thanks to how much your hole was leaking for him. His other hand joined him at your cunt, his thumb gently pressing against your clit. You twitched underneath him, feeling so hot at how eagerly he was toying with you, studying your pussy like he was preparing for an exam. He pushed up the hood of your clit gently, his mouth watering as your sensitive bud peeked out even more.

He could barely process your hand on his cock, little gasps escaping his lips, his mind overstimulated as his body twitched from the pleasure. You stroked him perfectly, the touch of a hand that wasn’t his own feeling incredible. You licked your lips as you jerked him off, paying special attention to the head where he seemed to be especially sensitive.

“Wanna become a man?” you asked hungrily, moving in closer to him. You pressed your chest against his, spreading your legs even wider as your faces almost touched, your nose gently rubbing against his, “Wanna fuck my pussy?”

“Y-Your- oh God-“ Shinichiro gasped, mind getting pushed into overstimulation. It was all so much he didn’t know how to handle it. Your body- your voice- to touch you- to lick you- to- to feel your pussy press against his cock! He could feel your wetness against his sensitive member- your warmth- the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance- he couldn’t take it anymore!”

“Fuck!!” With a loud cry, tossing his head back against the sofa, Shinichiro experienced the most powerful orgasm he’d ever had in his life. His balls clenched as he basically came untouched, his tip spurting out ropes of cum that all splashed against your opening. His toes curled and his eyes rolled to the back of his head, the pleasure hitting him like a truck.

“Oh my.” you said once he started to calm down, giggling at the sticky sensation of his seed staining your bottom half.

“S-Sorry- oh fuck-“ Shinichiro cursed, still cumming, little spurts leaving his tip, “I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t be sorry.” You consoled before he got down on himself, giving him a sweet kiss to the cheek, “It’s perfectly fine. Would you like to stop or continue?”

“Continue!” he said quickly, his dick still hard even though he just came. There was no way in hell he was stopping here.

“That’s my boy~”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Want a chance for me to write your prompt or just read many other stories i've written? Consider checking out my Patreon! (Link in bio)

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers smut #subby writes #smut #shinichiro sano #shinichiro smut #sano smut

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hiskillingjar · 24 days ago

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Kidnapping (Ren/MC)

i’ve truly been struggling to write this for like two weeks, so fuck it! changed the prompt to an idea i had, i make my own rules FUCKER

day 22: kidnapping second person.

“*sniff sniff*”

Ren's claws were sharp, even through the barrier of latex gloves, as he rubbed the hair dye into your scalp, making sure that the creamy black goo covered each blonde strand well, that there wouldn't be any gaps or light spots, any resemblance to the person you used to be after he was finished.

You continued to sniffle, your bound hands twisting in your lap, sitting at his feet with your legs crossed beneath you, just trying to stay still so he wouldn’t get mad.

Stillness didn't mean you wouldn't let yourself cry, though.

"Stop squirming and quit your whimpering," He murmured in a low, warning tone, gently forcing your head back against his knee (staining be damned) as he continued massaging the dye into your hair, fingers rubbing (trying to keep his claws as gentle as possible) soothingly into your scalp in spite of his harsh words.

For all his cruelty, it seemed he was still trying to make the process as pleasant for you as he could.

"You're being so fussy over some silly hair dye, come on, quit acting like such a baby…”

"S-Sorry..." You stammered, whimpering a little more as he squeezed another spurt of dye into your roots, the chill of it making you shiver. "I don't understand why, though..."

"Isn't it obvious? I have to change your look a little bit," He responded before tilting your head to the side a little so he could better reach the hair at the nape of your neck. "You're such a pretty and unique little thing. So, it'd be a shame if someone recognized you, right?"

"Mmf," You mumbled a non-answer.

You had figured as much, without him telling you.

Brunette or straight black hair was probably (definitley) a lot more common than blonde hair with pink highlights. If you planned on keeping a hostage on a long term basis, it probably made sense to dramatically change their image, the way he was doing now, so that they wouldn’t be recognised if you dared take them outside..

Still, it was a sort of death knell for your hope of freedom.

"Besides, dark hair is going to suit you, trust me. It'll be a nice change!" He continued, taking an extra second to brush his fingers through the roots of your hair. “It’ll…mark the start of your new life with me!”

You didn’t say anything to that, and just kept looking down and sniffling, softly.

"There, all done," Ren pulled the gloves off of his hands with a little flourish and a snap, and tossed them away before grabbing your chin, gently urging you to stand up and face him. “Let’s just make sure I’ve gotten every part of your hair first…”

He clicked his tongue as he observed you, tilting his head a bit as if he were deep in thought, before grinning, his tail wagging behind him.

"Yep, that’s all done! Ahh, I just know it's going to look great!" He cooed in satisfaction, his hands dropping down to hold yours, kept still by the ropes. "My good little doll looks so lovely when she obeys and lets me shape her~"

You sniffled again at the idea, feeling another tear trail down your reddened face.

"Oh, don't get all crybaby on me agai- oh, come on..!" He groaned, the affectionate, excited gleam in his gaze faltering a bit as he watched the tears trail down your cheek.

He reached up to cup your face and wipe away the tears running down your cheeks, his voice a tad gentler and softer than when he'd been commanding you.

"You're gonna make me feel bad if you keep crying, you know?"

"I'm s-sorryyyy," You drawled, trying to stop yourself from breaking down completely as you hid your face in his hands.

Why did he have to be so nice to you?

It would have been easier if he was a brute, if he hurt you, if he made you do things you didn’t want to do.

As it stood right now, all he had done to you was occasionally tie your ropes a little too tight and dyed your hair an ugly colour...and he only had to do that because you couldn't have been smarter about trying to signal for help.

"God, can't you just...stop being so cute, it's- it's really unfair.." His expression turned a little frustrated, his lips pursed into a thin line and his eyes narrowing slightly, but there was no actual irritation in his tone, just something akin to mild annoyance. "Why are you being such a little crybaby? There's no need to keep on bawling over a little hair dye..."

"I liked my blonde hair," You sniffled again, both wrists reaching up to your eyes as you tried to dry your own tears. "I-I worked really hard on keeping it like that...a-and now that’s all gone."

You started to cry a little more, biting your lip in an attempt to stop it.

"Shhh, calm down.. I said you look pretty, didn't I? You’re going to look absolutely adorable with your new hair colour, I promise! Black is going to make those pretty eyes of yours really pop out~" He tried to soothe you by stroking the back of your hands while keeping a hold on you, frowning a little himself as you continued to cry.

Your lip trembled as another stream of tears ran down your cheeks.

"Why can't you let me go?” You asked, your voice a frightened whisper. “T-This can't be fun for you anymore, looking after me like this..."

His face twisted into a slight grimace as you continued crying and started to plead again.

"Sweetheart, we've been over this.” He started tersely, an icy tone to his voice as he held your hands tighter, his expression darkened.“I'm not letting you go. I’m never going to let you go, and I won't let anyone else have you. You're staying with me, whether you want to or not." He leaned up on his toes to speak in your face. “So, I’d suggest you make peace with it, okay?”

You shut up very quickly, letting your head sink down against your chest and your fingers slacken under the ropes.

Ren watched you for a moment, watched as you sank into yourself, before he moved his hands off your wrists and pulled you close to him, with your chest against his, his face nestled against your collar bone, and your bound arms resting comfortably between the two of you.

“I’m sorry I have to be mean,” He murmured apologetically, rubbing his hand up and down your back. “I just want to keep you safe, okay? Just want to make sure you’ll stay with me…”

He kept you held there for a little bit longer (maybe a lot longer, you weren’t sure), his arms around your midsection and loosely holding you against his chest as he nuzzled against your collar, in an almost gentle, soothing manner.

His hair was incredibly soft against your neck, and the fur of his ears were warm and comforting, like you were being held by a lover or a partner. As opposed to the reality of the situation, a kidnapper trying to soothe their hostage.

You knew that he was probably just trying to comfort you, and was letting you feel bad in your own time without babying you or trying to intimidate you out of the negative feelings.

You appreciated that to a degree, letting yourself sit still and quiet for a long period of time.

Long enough for his alarm to go off, signalling him to take off the dye.

He held you close for a while longer, even after the timer on his phone went off, before he slowly let you go.

"Come on, we need to wash your hair now." He spoke quietly as he took your bound hands, leading you in the direction of his bathroom.

You let yourself be led and knelt down, obediently, resting your head over the tub (like sticking your head through the hole of a guillotine) as he started up the shower, testing the temperature and flow with his palm before guiding your head under the stream, and beginning to carefully run his fingers through your hair and rinse out the excess dye.

"You seem a lot calmer now," He commented with a hint of a teasing tone. “Cried all the bad feelings out, hm?”

"Mm," You hummed quietly, another non answer, trying to focus on the comforting drag of his hands in your hair and against your scalp and the warmth of the water, washing you clean.

Clean of the person you had been before him, clean of any sin you had endured up until then, ready to be born anew.

Ren was oddly gentle and attentive as he washed your hair (as oddly gentle and attentive as he often was, anyway), working the suds of black dye out through the strands of hair and massaging your scalp as thoroughly as he could. All the while, he stayed mostly silent, save for a few quiet, soothing noises under his breath, just low, hums or murmurs, you imagined, to settle you down and keep you feeling calm and relaxed.

You carefully adjusted your position, resting your hands over the edge of the tub, the ropes getting wet and tight, and letting your head sink lower down as the water finally ran clean, any remnant of black dye long washed away.

Ren turned off the water and grabbing a towel from nearby, patting your hair dry and using it to ruffle the new dark bulk of it playfully.

"There, all done," He spoke softly, once he was satisfied with his handiwork, before grabbing your arm and having you sit back on the tub’s edge.

Your hair covered your face, dripping water down your face, staining your t-shirt underneath.

It was what Ren wanted.

And he always got what he wanted.

"It looks absolutely perfect," He mused, continuing to card his fingers through your hair, watching the way the water-slicked strands slid over your face and neck, before his gaze moved down to your face.

“Like you’re a brand new you…ready to be my toy~”

#ren hana #ren x mc #ren x reader #kinktober 2024

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orikiys · 11 months ago

Text

✿ ✿ falling out of love with skz ( first pov version )

✰ pairings: ot8!skz x fem!reader

✰ genre: angst, romance, heartbreak

✰ warnings: heartbreak, guilt, falling out of love, sad, unedited ( i wrote this before i go to sleep ), based on real life events.

✰ word count: 1.8k + words

౨₊ৎ chan

falling out of love, but why is it? is it because i don’t read your texts no longer? or is it because that the mere sight of you no longer has been jumping on my feet? like that heart that used to skip a beat, tell me baby, did we not love each other? you were the muse to each of my poetries, you were the lover but i’m still disheartened by the fact that i couldn’t be. i made it out. i removed you from my life, to those little gifts you gave from your clothes that i had— all of them. and maybe, just maybe a part of me did get removed as well. snatched away and lost in the process. but i don’t need your help in getting it back. because i know that if i do, history would repeat itself. i would fall for you over and over. but… you wouldn’t. it’s been a hard month to try not to look at your socials, to see if you’re just as miserable as me or not. it’s been hard to try not to unblock you and keep re-reading our texts all day long. it’s been hard to not think of you. because my love i hate the fact that i still want you after all that happened, but you don’t. but i can’t love you like this, not anymore. i keep picking myself apart and framing together the left fragments of us. but there’s no us anymore, is there? i don’t want to pretend any longer. i missed you. i loved you. but i keep forgetting the fact that maybe i no longer do. or maybe i’m just getting better at pretending? all i do know is, i don’t think i know how to love you anymore.

౨₊ৎ minho

i may have forgotten the reason, but i loved you once. i truly did with all of my heart. falling in love was hard. it felt restricted, constrained and suffocating. but falling out of love? that was even harder. with each sun rise, i feel myself drifting apart from you. it’s like i don’t even know you anymore! i wish i could go back to the time where i asked you about your favourite colours or maybe your favourite movies or your favourite songs, but i can’t. we are no longer lovers. nor are we friends. we are strangers with memories. strangers who once crossed paths. we walk past each other and it’s like i don’t even know you, like i’ve never met you. i’ve seen our pictures on my phone and i question what went wrong? but maybe we were just habits and we thought we’d always have it? guess not. it’s the way i know you’re no longer around, but everything reminds me of you. is it the scent of your lingering perfume on the pillow covers? or maybe it’s your half-empty coffee mix? if promises were meant to be broken, i accomplished them. i am sorry for all the late nights that i whispered to you telling you that i’ll always love you. i’m sorry for all the times i couldn’t be there when you wanted me to. i’m sorry for all the times that i failed to understand you when you were just trying to protect me. i’m sorry for learning how to unlove you. i’m sorry min. i truly am.

౨₊ৎ changbin

remember when you said that we have forever? then why does it feel like our time’s already over? it started not so long ago, then why? was it written in fate already? or did we make it happen? i remember the time we held hands and shared umbrellas. i remember the time where we’d talk for hours. i remember the time when you first kissed me, then why am i still waiting for a proper goodbye? i wish you would break me at once, so i wouldn’t have to feel guilty for loving you a little lesser everyday. i wish you weren’t so perfect that i didn’t have to find excuses to avoid you. i wish you would snap my heart in half, crumble to pieces and throw away the broken fragments, so i don’t have to feel like i’m in the wrong. for once, just let me escape the reality. for once, please don’t love me. for once, please forget me. for once, let me go. for once and for all, forgive me for not trying to love you harder. i don’t know where it all went wrong. i wish i could turn back the time and erase myself from your memories, so you won’t even think of me or the pain that i caused you. i may be the villain of your story, but i too was once the protagonist.

౨₊ৎ hyunjin

i wonder if you ever noticed when i stopped telling you my secrets. i wonder if you ever noticed that i stopped bringing home your favourite packet of chips. i wonder if you noticed that i began tensing up whenever you hugged me. i wonder if you ever even noticed the way my soul began detangling from you. and when you tucked my hair behind my ear, it didn’t leave a trail of fire like it did before. my body— it stopped reacting to you the way it did before. and i wonder, why you never said anything. because you noticed it. you noticed every single thing yet you stayed quiet right by my side. it’s the way i began hating you for making me feel guilty. but it always did feel better to blame others, didn’t it? would you mind if i sat next to you but didn’t smile? would you mind if i ask you what you liked once again? because i didn’t want it to end. you were the most beautiful dream that i ever experienced, yet now i can’t even recognise the beat of your heart. i realized that i fell out of love when i could no longer guess what you wanted. or maybe that time when i couldn’t bring myself to even kiss you. baby, where did it go? help me. help me get it back. falling out of love with you is a nightmare and i wish i could wake up.

౨₊ৎ han

i had all that i wanted, and then none. from the perfect life, to a fallen apart one. nothing stays for too long. and i wish i let go of everything a bit sooner. so it would hurt me less whenever i see you. it would hurt me less whenever i hear someone mention you. your letters, they still rest in my drawers. your rings, they still fit on me. except they feel too cold. i no longer wear them for an entire day without feeling the urge to throw it. but i don’t want that to happen, so instead i keep it locked away in a box. but the key, it’s with you. so i can’t bring myself to open it. many people told me that i have changed. but i truly wonder, have i? or is it just the fact they can’t fathom that i no longer love you like i did before? it may be my fault for it all, i’m the one to blame. but i tried my best to stop myself, to stop these unwanted feelings and in the end i broke your heart. i still remember that look on your face when you held me tight for one last time. goodbyes weren’t the best, but i wish it was. so i didn’t have to live everyday thinking that i killed your spark from the inside.

౨₊ৎ felix

i wish i could go back to the time where i didn’t have to think thrice before waking you when you couldn’t sleep. i hoped that i could’ve told it all to you sooner, but how could i have predicted that unfortunate ending? loving you was beautiful, delicate and everlasting. until it wasn’t. falling out of love was harsh but slow. the flowers have begun withering, i noticed. do you not water them? or is it because they remind you of me? i know what you’re trying to do. i’ve tried it as well. but it didn’t work. i tried erasing you and everything related to you. but at the end of the day it’s the way my phone’s lock screen still has your face. your number, it’s untouched. and perhaps if someone were to ask me about my favourite movie, without hesitation i would reply with the texts we sent, the little date vlogs we made. call it guilt or call it lost love. the time spent with you gave me happiness, and i called that love.

౨₊ৎ seungmin

i knew you were hurting. so maybe i should’ve applied bandages to your aching heart. i knew you were hurting when i began replacing our memories. was there something that i could’ve done to make your heart heal faster? but i knew it couldn’t replace the pain i’ve caused you. i used to tell the moon about you, now the stars await to hear my stories. i used to have that stupid grin on my face whenever you called me, now we stopped meeting. and it kills me to know how you’ve been living all this long after knowing that the one who you loved broke your heart. it hurts me too when you agree to everything and anything i say. is that how much you love me? that you’re even willing to be vulnerable in front of me? if given another chance i would fall in love with you over and again till i can’t escape it. i want to trapped, engulfed in your love just like you are in mine.

౨₊ৎ jeongin

my heart breaks at all the possibilities we could have been. it breaks even more every time i remember you wanting to start a family with me in future. i ended it all at once, didn’t i? i wonder how i could be lifeless that now a single tear falls while you cry for me. i wonder how i could be so lifeless that i forgot you’re my other half. i want to experience that spark of sleeping and waking to your texts once more. i want to experience being called ‘my princess’ for the rest of life. but it’s the way that we don’t even talk. we blocked each other from our lives, it was for the good. then why am i having sleepless nights filled with remorse? is this the part of moving on? or is it the part of moving back? because my ship seems to be sailing in the wrong direction. so my love, don’t pray for me anymore. the moon won’t listen.

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